Hostile Meltdown 3/20/2001
Live from Orlando, Florida
Special Referees:Joey Malone and Sabastian Crow
Donnie Daze, Syphon Fission vs. LiGiL, Dane Matthews
Television Title Match
Sephiyra Reign -c- vs. Ryan Remedy
No 1 Contendership
Cyanide vs. Adam Wars
*Should Wars lose, Cyanide will be in place in the three way dance to unite the United States and Pacific Championships.*
Suicide Kings vs. the Spaz Event
*Winners recieve Tag Team Title Shot at the Pay Per View*
(We slowly see the IWO logo fade onto the screen three times, as slowly, a flat line is shown. That heartbeat is struck with a lightning crash, as it lights the logo on fire, much like an explosive device with a long trigger cord.
"Refuse to Lose" by Liquid Gang is heard as we softly fade into Vice President Ford's office. He seems to be busy with huge amounts of paperwork, as a secretary enters his room. She seems rather beautiful, bountiful if you could say. She has a clipboard in her hands, and has glasses on her head, wearing a black suit.)
Secretary:Uh, Mr. Ford, There seems to be problems with Team CGI getting to the arena...
VP Ford:Problems? What sort of problems?
Secretary:Well, they don't want to come...
Secretary:They called and told me that they weren't showing, in a non-violent way to protest Evan Levine's Presidency.
VP Ford:What the hell type of stunt is that! You get Syphon on the phone immediatly, and tell him that if he doesn't get his ass to this arena in a half an hour, he can kiss his title shot at Desperate Measures good-bye. And you can tell Daze and Malone that I'll vacate their titles if they don't show up either...
(The secretary leaves, as Ford slams his fist down onto his desk table.)
VP Ford:Damnit! What type of (Censored) position do they want to put me in. (Censored) heads...
(We slowly fade out of Ford's office, as we hear "Mr. Nice Guy" by Mr. Bungle plays in the background. Highlights from Hostile Takeover begin to play, as we see Sabastian Crow attack Donnie Daze in Sesame Street costume, as Syphon Fission pushes the entire set down onto all the men battling. We see Christian Douglas and Chris Mezz being unceremoniously fired, as well as Joey Malone somehow defending his North American Title against Cyanide. The camera slowly fades into the ring as "Ill Niño" by El Niño plays, fireworks burst, and we slowly fade to the commentators booth, as we see none other than Greg Parker, JT, and Phelen Kell all standing there.)
GP:Fans, welcome to a special One Hour Edition of Hostile Meltdown!
JT:And I must say it's an honor to work with such a fine individual as Phelen Kell...
Kell:Weren't you the same guy who called me old, and useless?
JT:*Clearing throat* That was... Parker...
GP:Sure it was JT, and my name's Guandi... Folks, lots of questions will be answered before this Sunday's Pay Per View spectacular in...
Kell:Where is this Pay Per View going to be located anyway?
GP:From the looks of it, Tampy Bay, Florida.
JT:More sun and more babes... Life couldn't get any better.
GP:So many unanswered question... JT! Put down that magazine! We're on television!
(The camera pans over to JT, who has a magazine of Penthouse. He's talking to some beautiful, 22 year old women.)
JT:You see, I've got connections. If you want in, and you want to show your beautiful body to the world, just come by my hotel later, and I'll take some nice... pictures...
(Parker comes over and punches JT across the face.)
GP:Get back in line JT...
(JT whispers something into the girls ear.)
JT:Owwww, even when Nikki's not within six states, I still get hit. It's a damn feminine conspiracy against me...
GP:Or maybe you're just a jerkass...
JT:But women LOVE jerks!
(All of a sudden, the camera cuts over to the top of the stage, as we see a huge egg slowly being wheeled out towards the set. Two workers drop it down, and leave.)
GP:There's that egg again. It seems that it only shows up at certain venues...
JT:I'm just confused at the whole thing.
Kell:Whatever's inside it can't possibly be living... it would have suffocated by now.
(We slowly fade out to a Promo hyping Desperate Measures, and the Egg of Course, because why else would we go to a commercial break now?)
Voice Over (Low Voice): There are certain things nature can't explain.
EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG
Voice Over (Low Voice): There are certain things that should just be left
EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG
Voice Over (Low Voice): And then, there or some things that are just too damn
big.. NOT TO BE NOTOCED!
Voice Over (Low Voice): The time is now! Witness the hatching of the giant
ringside egg only on Pay Per View!
Woman: Oh my god! Like, what could it be?
Voice Over (Low Voice): To find out, buy IWO's- Desperate Measures! If you
call now, we'll send you a free Joey Malone wristwatch!
Voice Over (Low Voice): So call your local cable provider and say-
Man: I WANT DESPERATE MEASURES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
**More Commercials, because you love them**
GP:Well, that egg was recently rolled out here just now, and I'm not sure where we are going from here. Syphon Fission, Donnie Daze, and Joey Malone has refused to show up tonight, but if they don't, they are all going to be royally screwed over in their IWO careers.
JT:Royally is an understatement Greg...
Kell:Well, it seems as if the Spaz Event and the Suicide Kings have decided to join us for action...
GP: Ryan King and Sullivan are starting off in the ring.
JT: King comes running at Sullivan.
Kell: King knocks over Sullivan with a nice clothsline..
GP: Ewww that gotta hurt.
JT: King starts to kick the fallen Sullivan right in the face with his
Kell: It looks like Ryan King is on a mission to win this matchup here
GP: Ryan goes into the corner and he tags his brother Jeff into the
JT: Jeff gets into the ring and he picks up Sullivan and sends him off
Kell: He goes for the clothsline...
GP: But Sullivan ducks turns around...
JT: Kick to the gut
Kell: Nice DDT by Sullivan sends Jeff to the matt hard!
GP: Sullivan crawls into his corner and he tags in his partner Spaz..
JT: Spaz comes running into the ring and goes for Jeff.
Kell: He picks him up and gives him a nice belly to belly suplex..
JT: For the win..
GP: 1 2....
JT: Ryan comes in with the save...
GP: Spaz gets back up and sets up Jeff king for a move....
Kell: Neck breaker...
JT: What a move by Spaz man did he just hurt Jeff King bad...
GP: He goes for another pin...
Kell: NO kick out by jeff...
JT: Spaz goes for another neckbreaker on to be blocked by a nice elbow to the jaw by Jeff King!!!!!
GP: Jeff goes to the corner and he tags Ryan!
Kell: RYan runs into the ring
JT: He takes out both Sullivan and Spaz......
GP: Ryan takes Sullivan and he throws him right out of the ring right onto the floor....
Kell: Ryan takes Spaz and he sets him up for a DvD....
GP: God that hurt!
Kell: Hes not going for the pin?
JT: Look Jeff!
GP: Hes high up in the air!
Kell: Frog Splash!
JT: That gotta be it!
Annoucer: Your winners... The Suicide Kings!!
(The camera fades into the backstage area, as we see none other than VP Ford once again on the phone, talking to God knows who.)
VP Ford:So, I can put you in Sunday in this Boxing thing I've got going?... Okay, sounds good. I'll see you Sunday Kent...
(VP Ford hangs up the phone, and lets out a sigh.)
VP Ford:Damn is my job stressful...
(A door creaks open, as we see the same secretary from earlier today walk into the room.)
Secretary:Uhh... VP Ford?
VP Ford:What is it Lulu?
Secretary:Well, Syphon Fission didn't really take nice to your kind words...
Secretary:Well, I told him what you said, and he just kind of said... "Eat Me."
VP Ford:Damnit. That's it, screw trying to be the nice guy. Send out Matthews and have him BRING Fission to the arena. I don't care how, just send out Matthews, LiGiL, and Crow, and get Team CGI here post haste...
(The secretary leaves, as Ford once again slams his hand down onto the table.)
VP Ford:Now I seem like the freakin' bad guy...
(Ford smacks a dangeling airplane as the camera fades out to a commercial Break.)
(The camera cuts to a hallway in the backstage area. We see IWO US champion Simon Seaman walking, carrying his US belt over his shoulder. As he's walking towards the camera, he passes by AWS Man (also known as Bill),
who's standing up against the wall and chatting with his spatula, Pen. As Simon walks by, AWS Man (also known as Bill) jerks his hand out and slaps Seaman across the face with Pen. Seaman, understandably, appears to get mad.)
Simon : Hey, what the hell?
AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Um ... hi.
Simon : Why'd you just hit me with that spatula?
AWS Man (also known as Bill) : I didn't freakin' hit you.
Simon : Yes, you just hit me in the face with it!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) : OK, suuuure. (Making quotation marks with fingers) I used my "spatula" to "hit" "you." Whatever.
Simon : Alright, I'm gonna walk away now, but if you do that one more-
(Pen lurches out and hits Seaman in the nose.)
Simon : Ow! OK, that's it!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Hey, don't blame me. Pen was the one who
freakin' hit you. I was just an innocent bystander. Actually, I think
just jealous because I'm about to be the Magic Box With Tiny Moving
In It champ, and you just have some dumb old UPS title.
Simon : Well, if that's so, then how about we settle this right here,
AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Uh ... OK ... su- sure. I'm not freakin'
afraid of you.
(The two wrestlers get in each other's faces. Just as Seaman raises his
to strike, the Insane One gives a quite girlish scream and dives into a
nearby janitor's closet. Seaman shakes his head and walks off.)
Simon : (Muttering) Wuss.
(The scene cuts to the office of VP Ford. Tod, the new Pacific Champion,
limps in on crutches. He has his belt over his shoulder.)
VP Ford: Tod, are you okay?
Tod: Yeah, just a little -owie- flesh wound. I was told to give you these.
(Tod hands VP Ford some papers.)
Tod: I'm looking forward to kicking Seaman's ass at the Pay Per View.
VP Ford: Tod... I don't think you'll be wrestling at Desperate Measures...
Tod: What?! But I have too!
VP Ford: Listen Tod... These papers... They are from your doctor... Saying
you can't wrestle for a wile. That fall you took was pretty brutal..
Tod: But... The match! the title combination!
VP Ford: It can wait...
Tod: No... It's not fair to Seaman.. Or the fans...
VP Ford: Well Tod, we can't do anything about it... You can't wrestle..
Tod: Yeah, but there is soemthing I can do.
VP Ford: Huh?
(Tod hands VP Ford the Pacific Title.)
VP Ford: Tod?
Tod: Look... Nobody deserves not to get this match at the Pay Per View...
So... Here's the Pacific Title... Just make sure, when you combine the two,
US and Pac-man... You give the bigger title a nice name.
VP Ford: Where are you going?
Tod: I need to take a little break.. To recover... Just be sure to have a
match for me when I return....
(Tod leaves. The sceen fades back to the ringside area.)
GP:Well, it seems like tons of things are going on. We almost had a small brawl between AWS Man and Simon Seaman... and Tod just relinquished the Pacific title!
Kell:I guess that makes this sunday's match a One on one ladder match... instead of the triple threat it was stated before hand.
[ "Dragula" by Rob Zombie plays over the speakers as the fans come to a mixed reaction... ]
JT: And now we're ready for Adam Wars -vs- Cyanide.
GP: Yeah !, this should be an exciting match-up... Phelen Kell, why don't you tell the stipulations to this match.
Kell: Sure... the rules are very simple... If Adam Wars pulls off a loss here tonight, then Cyanide will be placed in the match to unite the United States and Pacific Championships.
JT: Whoa !, that actually sounds cool.
Kell: Of course It does so lets watch and see who
[ Adam Wars comes from behind the curtains with his music playing as he makes his way down the rampway... He just gives the egg a weird stare as he walks by as well.]
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring at this
time... coming first from Port St. Lucie weighing in
at 222 Pounds.... ADAM WARSSSSSSSSSSS
GP: And here is our first man for the match and WAIT A
[ IWO Cameras then catch Cyanide coming up from behind
and attacking Wars... he grabs hold of Wars
and throws him into the pole as he slides Wars back
into the ring... the bell rings and this match is
GP: Cyanide got a cheap shot in on Adam Wars...
Cyanide now backs Wars against the ropes... Wars goes
to the ropes and Cyanide hits Wars with a hard slam to
the mat... Wars gets back up now and Cyanide hits
a powerslam followed by a legdrop to the throat...
Cyanide goes for a cover.... this could be it....
Kell: But no !, It was too early to call... but WAIT A
MINUTE... full nelson approach on Adam Wars
and... THERE IT IS !!!... CYANIDE HAS LOCKED ON THE
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON !!!!!!....
WILL ADAM WARS TAP AND HE DOES IT !!!!!
**DING DING DING**
[ "The End is the Beginning is the End" by Smashing
Pumpkins starts playing over the speakers as
Cyanide releases Adam Wars and smiles as he stands...
JT: Damn !, this match was quick !!!
GP: Yeah !, I know... but folks, we have to take a
commercial break so stay with us !!!!
(Meygon is back in the ring now...It's time for the Television title match.)
Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen and the Rest...This match
the IWO television Title...Coming to the ring at this time...The
challenger...Weighing 235 lbs...Ryan Remedy!
(He comes down to the ring as "Fear" by Disturbed plays.)
Meygon: And the current IWO Television Champion...Weighing 247 lbs...Sephiyra Reign!
(Sephiyra comes down to the ring as "Wake up" by Rage Against the Machine plays.)
JT: Alrighty then...
(They both lock up...Sephiyra send Remedy into the ropes...He goes for a clothesline...But Remedy ducks, he hits the ropes again and takes down Sephiyra with a spear!)
GP: Spear by Remedy, and he's laying into the face of Sephiyra Reign with those right hands!
(Remedy brings Reign back to his feet and throws him to the
up with an avalanche Splash...and a Facebuster as Reign falters
Kell: Quick pin by Ryan!
JT: What was the moron thinking? A win off a facebuster?
GP: Stranger things have happened.
(Remedy back to his feet...But Sephiyra catches him in the groin with a
blow...and then an uppercut to the face.)
JT: He punched him right in the balls...Now *that's* a wrestling move
ever I saw one!
(Sephiyra back to his feet...and he takes Ryan down with an overhead
Kell: Overhead Belly to belly on Ryan Remedy...and he stomps away at
(Ryan gets to his feet...But Reign locks him up and over powers him
corner turnbuckle...Sephiyra Reign with a Bulldog out of the
GP: Only a two count by Sephiyra Reign.
(Reign brings him hack up to his feet and throws him out of the
off the ring apron with an Axe handle smash!...But Ryan kicks him as he
comes down...Remedy with a DDT onto the concrete outside of the ring!)
JT: Did you see that? Spiked on the concrete! Ha!
(Remedy is back on his feet...and he picks up Reign and throws him back
the ring...Ryan Remedy climbs onto the apron...and he jumps from the
turnbuckle and nails a top rope elbow drop!)
Kell: Nice flying elbow from Remedy.
(Remedy grabs Reign by his feet...and launches him face first into the
turnbuckle with a catapault...)
GP: Rollup cover by Remedy!
JT: He's joking if he thinks he'll win off that.
(Both men are up...They lock up...but before they can Reign puts Remedy
with a drop toe hold...He brings him back up and whips him into the
ropes...Powerslam by Reign!)
Kell: Bang! Right in the center of the ring!
(Reign brings him back up and whips him into the corner...He runs at
and hits a Monkey Flip...But Ryan Remedy grabs the ropes and Reign
back first on the mat!)
(Remedy hits the top rope...Reign slowly getting to his feet...Remedy
top rope dropkick!...But Sephiyra Reign pulls the referee infront of
the ref hits the canvas!)
GP: Cheap tactics by the champion!
JT: Oh shut up, that's the kind of move that wins matches...
(As the ref is down, Reign hits tringside and grabs a chair...He gets
in the ring and plants it over the head of Ryan Remedy!)
(JT: For all the deaf people who probabaly want to hear what that
like...Why don't you go and run headfirst into your refridgerator,
give you a first hand impression.)
Kell: Maybe a head impression too.
JT: You're not funny. I want you to know that.
(Back in the ring, Sephiyra Reign brings Remedy back up to his
sets his leg up in the chair...and lands a legdrop onto the chair!)
JT: Ban the legdrop!
(Suddenly, as Flight of the Valkyries plays over the PA, a Coffin falls
the rafters on a drop-cord. It lands in the ring, is stationary
and as someone jumps out, it falls to pieces!)
GP: Who is that?
Kell: It's AWS Man (Also Known as Bill)!
JT: And he's got a Giant Frozen Fish with him!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) is in the ring with a Giant Frozen
smacks Sephiyra Reign in the face and knocks him down!)
JT: Oh what a shot!
Kell: What's he doing here? Of all matches tonight, he's got no
interrupting the Television Title match !
(Sephiyra gets back up...But AWS Man (also known as Bill) also has a
Mace!...He sprays it in Reigns face...And as Reign grabs his eyes, AWS
(also known as Bill) swings the Frozen Fish like a golf club and nails
Sephiyra Reign between the legs, knocking him off his feet and onto his
JT: Reign goes down quicker than a two dollar hooker! This is what we
to see, this is what our country was founded upon.
GP: Looks as if the referees getting back to his feet now.
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) sets up the Frozen Fish over the chest of
Sephiyra Reign...He hits the turnbuckle...Win the Freaking Matchifier
Frozen Fish on Sephiyra Reign! He picks Sephiyra Reign back up and
him over the rope and out of the ring with the Frozen Fish!)
Kell: How do we call that?
GP: Carnage is the word that comes to mind...
(Suddenly a dog jumps into the ring...It's a poodle!...AWS Man (also
as Bill) picks it up!...Von Freakinator on...Ryan Remedy!)
JT: He's attacking both of them now!
(Remedy is slowly back up...but AWS Man (also known as Bill) hits Knock
Freakin Head Off on Remedy!...But Ryan holds up the poodle and it's
gets knocked off and flies into the audience!)
GP: I'm speechless!
JT: I'm not! He knocked that fucking poodle's head right off!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a kick to the groin of Ryan
he follows it up with a Slap The Freak Around!)
Kell: He's just sitting there bitchslapping Ryan Remedy...
(The Ref is back up and he sees AWS Man (also known as Bill)
Ryan Remedy...he calls for the Bell!)
*Ding Ding Ding*
Meygon: The winner of this match...As a result of a
GP:Dear God, this night has been chaotic. How much more crazy can we get, as we just saw AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) cost Ryan Remedy the Television title!
JT:But would Remedy have been outclassed one on one?
GP:I don't know... but I believe... yes.. I'm recieving word from VP Ford that sunday's match will be a Triple Threat matchup...
JT:Ford's name is turning up alot tonight... where the hell is President Levine...
GP:He's home sick with the flu...
JT:Oh great. That doesn't bold well for Sunday!!!
(The camera all of a sudden fades to a local dinner, as we see Syphon Fission, Donnie Daze, and Joey Malone sitting, enjoying a meal.)
Syphon Fission:You know, without Team CGI there, Meltdown just isn't the same.
Donnie:Yeah, I know what you mean...
Joey Malone:Pass the meatloaf!
Donnie:Uhhh... there isn't any meatloaf Joey...
Joey Malone:Oh... Well... give me the salt then...
(Daze passes Malone the salt, as he begins to salt his potatoes. All of a sudden, Dane Matthews, LiGiL, and Sabastian Crow all come into the building.)
Matthews:Come on Fission! You want to run like the coward you are, then we're just going to go RIGHT after you!
(Fission gets up from his seat, as he looks intently at Dane.)
Fission:Me? Run from you? You must be totally mistaken...
(Fission charges at Dane, as they begin to brawl. Immediatly Crow goes after Donnie Daze, as Malone continues to eat his potatoes.)
Malone:Man, this good eatin'...
(LiGiL grabs Malone as he pulls him out of his booth. They begin to fight as well.)
GP:FANS! THIS IS CHAOTIC! AT THE TOP DINER IN ORLANDO, TEAM CGI, MATTHEWS, LiGiL, AND CROW ARE BRAWLING! WE'VE GOT TO HEAD OUT! JOIN IN SUNDAY AT DESPERATE MEASURES!!!