July 5th, 2002
American Title Match
Blake -c- vs. a Mystery Opponent
Gold and Glory Tournament
Donnie Daze vs. Bob Job
Harold Hash vs. Bungle
Jack Breaker vs. Edguardo
Nuke vs. Rob Kestler
The crowd is shown cheering as the cameras scan the arena. We tune now to Greg Parker and JT, who just sit there. Parker is watching JT as he twiddles his thumbs. He looks up and sees the camera is on.
GP: AHH! WE'RE ON!
JT jumps up.
JT: WHAT?! WE ARE! AIIIIE!!!
GP coughs, stutters, catches himself, and begins.
GP: Welcome to Hostile Takeover! Tonight, we've got a SHOWSTOPPER of a night, with the fallout from Beach Party! Tonight, we have four Gold and Glory Tournament qualifying matches, and Erik Blake defends his newly won North American title against a mystery opponent!
JT: Not to mention that I, JT, have made large bundles of money off of Beach Party! GO ME~!
"Downfall" by TRUSTcompany begins playing. The fans are confused at first, not even aware that a certain someone had his music changed following Beach Party.
The newly crowned IWO Cruiserweight champion. Daniel Phillips.
The fans instantly booed as Phillips had his back to the ring, almost like Chris Jericho. As he stretches out his right arm, we can see his newly won Cruiserweight title, but in his left hand was a second, unknown title belt.
GP: Why the hell does Phillips have two titles?
JT: Because he's DANIEL~! He can do whatever the hell he wants, Parker!
Phillips strode down to the ring, smirking at the fans that booed at him. Not even they could ruin his incredibly good mood on this evening. He entered the ring, put the IWO Cruiserweight title over his shoulder, walked to Meygon, grabbed the microphone, and shoved her away. The fans booed his action, but Phillips ignored them.
GP: This man makes me sick.
JT: What? Meygon probably deserved to get pushed every once in a while. I do it sometimes, just diffe-
GP: SHUT UP. I don't need to hear about this.
Phillips began to speak.
Phillips: Well, well, well... it seems as though I've got everyone's attention.
Phillips paced back and forth, soaking up the moment.
Phillips: You know, I haven't done a whole lot in my career. I was you-know-who's lackey for the better part of three years, but, you know. I've been sitting around. Taking everything in.
Phillips stopped pacing.
Phillips: And develop a sincere feeling of general "Fuck every last one of you motherfucking fans".
The fans instantly booed.
Phillips: I'm not out here tonight to be entertaining. I don't look like Woody Allen, I don't wear a fucking paintball mask and talk to a spatula, and I most certainly do not hang around a bunch of aardvarks. I'm out here to thumb my nose at all of you fucking idiots, for EVER doubting that I could take out Donnie Daze at Beach Party. You see this belt?
Daniel holds up the Cruiserweight title.
Phillips: This is PROOF that I am more than a match for Matt fucking Rivers. Mr. Survivor couldn't exactly survive me. And you want to know why that is?
Daniel holds up the other title.
Phillips: Because this, the Thunder Pro Wrestling Cruiserweight championship, is proof that I am who I say I am. I am the King of the Cruiserweights. The King. I wasn't fucking elected, there was no fucking vote. It was predetermined that I, Daniel Phillips, would reign surpreme in the Cruiserweight division. My mandate here is simple. I will UNFUCK UP this fed, because the DAMAGE that my former partner and his gang of misfits is overwhelmingly horrible, and this FUCKING FEDERATION DOESN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO ADMIT IT.
Daniel was beat red upon finishing his rant, and the fans were practically booing his every word.
"Loco" by Coal Chamber hit.
And an instant pop.
As the song reached it's apex, sparks flew out from the entrance rampway, and High Flyer stood at the top, his back turned to the audience, holding his tag team championship belt in one hand outstretched, much like Phillips did, only in a mocking fashion. In his other hand, he held a microphone, and then turned towards the ring ala Jericho. He looks at both sides of the crowd, before letting out a smirk, and lifting the microphone to his mouth.
High Flyer: So, Mister Daniel Phillips. You want to unFOCK the IWO? You want to change things around so that the IWO fits YOUR image? Well, I do believe that the IWO has gone into a state of insanity that it shall NEVER recover from...
The crowd lets out a few boos.
High Flyer: But we fucken like it that way!
Cheers. Flyer began to slowly walk down the entrance ramp, towards the ring.
High Flyer: So, now because ONE person is unhappy with our product, we have to cator to HIM? I'm sorry Daniel, you're not rich, popular, or talented enough, so you're just gonna have to deal with it, or find another job.
Flyer enters the ring, as Phillips actually backs up to let Flyer in. Flyer keeps his eyes on Phillips every moment, before returning to his speech.
High Flyer: And you pretty much prove this by carrying out here defunct championships that prove absolutly nothing. It's not like anyone has actually HEARD about TPW before tonight's event.
High Flyer: But you know Phillips, I actually DID hear of Thunder Pro. It's actually slipped my mind until now, but they were recruiting members, and I happened to recieve a phone call. I told them I'd check them out and give them my decision in a few weeks. And you know what I saw in those three "glorious" weeks? Someone ranting and raving with aardvarks, segments, that would make the IWO fans blush at their stupidity. And we're seen alot of fucked up things along the years, so that's definitly saying something. And Daniel, you know who was the focus of those segments?
Daniel goes to answer but Flyer pushes his microphone down.
High Flyer: It was a retorical question Daniel, because no matter what you're gonna say now, it's a lie. You Daniel, were the man ranting and raving, proclaiming yourself as King. And now, you're doing the same thing out here in the middle of MY ring, and I'm sorry Daniel, I'm not an aardvark. I'm not going to just sit back there and take it. So here's what we're gonna do. Tonight, we're gonna wrestle, not for that championship belt, because I've already got one here. No, we're gonna wrestle just to find out who the better man is.
Daniel Phillips goes to answer, but Flyer once again pushes his microphone down.
High Flyer: That was another retorical question. You don't have a choice Phillips...
Phillips let out a sigh, before striking Flyer in the face with the microphone. Flyer fell down to the canvas with a thud, as Phillips threw the microphone out of the ring.
JT: That ASSHOLE. Nobody talks to the KING OF THE CRUISERWEIGHTS that way!
GP: Apparently, Flyer just did!
As Phillips walked to the back, a small, but growingly loud chant of "Aardvark King!" began to ring out in the arena, causing Phillips to plug his ears and walk much more quickly to the back.
JT: Hey! HEY! Stop disrespecting him! Damn you people.
The camera fades backstage, as we see President and CEO Ford sitting behind his desk, holding his right arm in a sling. He's seen trying to shuffle papers together, but being unable to.
President Ford: I'm sure many of you out there have been wondering, what exactly is next to come in the IWO, now that Syphon Fission has been taken completely out of the picture. Well, following the draw at Beach Party, the World Heavyweight Championship was vacted, our best wishes were sent to both the Malone's and the Clark's, and we were left with a quandary. How would we fill the championship?
Ford let out a sigh, before continuing.
President Ford: And then I remember, the Gold and Glory Tournament from two years ago. It occured before I joined the board, and even though the winner never did recieve his title shot, we felt it was a nice idea to bring back. We being me, because Eric Yun hasn't done a damn thing since he's joined the board, and all AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) does is watch Porn and change his name so many times I forget what it is this week. Anyway.
Ford clears his throat.
President Ford: This week, the Gold and Glory Tournament started. That tournament will continue next week, and the following three rounds will take place, at, wow, Gold and Glory. The winner of the tournament however, won't recieve a shot, he shall recieve the World Heavyweight Championship.
GP: WOW! WHAT AN ANNOUNCEMENT!
President Ford: Now, to return you to your regularly scheduled programing...
Gold and Glory Tournament Qualifying Match
Rob Kestler vs. Nuke
GP: Let's get to our first match of the night! Rob Kestler takes on Nuke!
JT: Hey... Didn't we see this at Beach Party?
GP: Well... Erm...
JT: I put all my momey on whoever won at Beach Party.
GP: Dude, you don't remember who won? You covered the match, like, not even a week ago.
JT: Yeah, but I was also busy covering your mom Parker! Hehehe~!
The camera pans to backstage. Nuke and Rob Kestler are trying to be "gentlemen" about who gets to enter first.
Rob Kestler: I insist, Nuke... You first.
Nuke: No, by all means, Rob, you first.
Rob Kestler: Oh... Okay.
Nuke: *under his breath* Sucker. Everyone knows the person who enters last is cooler.
Meygon: This next matchup is a qualification match for the Gold and Glory tournament. Introducing first, weighing in at three-hundred and thirteen pounds. One third of the tag-team champions.... ROB..... KESTLER!
"Mope" by the Bloodhound Gang hits as the crowd errupts in cheers. No, not cheers like "YAY~! ROB KESTLER!" I'm talking about cheers like the show... Because I wanna be where everyone knows my name, damnit!
Meygon: And introducing next, weighing in at two-hundred and fourty-three pounds... NUUUUUUKE!
"It's Raining Men" as performed by Geri Halliwell starts up. Rob Kestler falls over in the rings laughing.
GP: Folks, please not that this is *NOT* Nuke's theme music.
JT: Yeah, Kestler must have set it up so it would play when the second guy enters.
Nuke lets out a sigh, then darts in the ring towards Kestler.
*DING DING DING*
JT: And they're off!
GP: Nice way to start the match, JT.
JT: Who said anything about the match? I'm watching the horse races on this little moniter thinggy!
Nuke punches Kestler a few times, then launches him into the ropes, following up with a dropkick. Kestler falls to the ground, and lands on his back. Nuke kicks Kestler until he comes to his feet. Again, Nuke sends Kestler into the ropes, attempting a clothesline. Kestler ducks, heads into the opposite ropes, then leaps at Nuke, tackling him.
GP: And Kestler tackles Nuke!
JT: Dude... They can just see it, why do you even bother?
GP: JT... IWO pays us to do this.
JT: Heh... I don't know about you, but IWO pays *ME* to do your mom!
Kestler walks Nuke over to a corner of the ring, he starts bashing Nuke's head on the turnbuckle. Kestler bashes his head in about five times, before Nuke sends his elbow into Rob's face. Kestler backs up a bit, clenching his jaw, Nuke hops on the middle rope, and uses that to flip backwards ontop of Kestler.
GP: Both men, on the ground.
JT: That reminds me of me and your-
GP: Don't say it...
Nuke manages to get to his feet before Kestler, who is on his knees. Nuke grabs Rob in a headlock, he punches his face a few times, then runs Rob straight into a turnbuckle. He then knocks him down with an implant DDT. He covers Kestler.
GP: Kestler with the kickout!
While Rob is on the ground, Nuke climbs to the top rope. He leaps off, going for the Nuclear Holocaust (Corkscrew Diving Headbutt.)
GP: THIS IS IT!
Kestler rolls out of the way.
GP: OH MY GOD~! NUKE LANDS ON HIS HEAD!
Nuke grabs his head in pain. After a few seconds he manages to get to his feet. Too bad he walks straight into Kestler's THE CALL FROM BEYOND (Double Underhook Piledriver). Kestler rolls Nuke over in a cover.
GP: It's all over now.
GP: NO~! NO~! NUKE WITH THE KICKOUT!
Kestler scratches his head, then covers Nuke again.
GP: Again, Nuke kicks out! Are you watching this, JT?
Nuke strugles to his feet, he and Kestler start to exchange punches. Eventually, the exchange of punches turns into Nuke giving all the punches as he works back into his drive. Nuke knees Kestler in the stomach. Rob doubles over, and Nuke hits him with his own pile-driver type finisher, the Burning Psychosis (Underhook Facefirst Piledriver.) Nuke then puts the cover on Kestler.
*DING DING DING*
GP: AND NUKE GOES ON TO QUALIFY!
Meygon: The winner of this match, by result of pinfall....... NUKE!
"Dead Wrong" by Biggie Smalls hits as Meygon raises Nuke's hand in victory.
GP: What a win by Nuke, and he'll go on to face the winner of... another match. I guess.
JT: You're a freaking idiot, Parker.
Rob Kestler stumbles into the locker, beat-up from his match. To his suprise, his little brother, Napoleon Kestler, is waiting for him.
Napoleon Kestler: I figured that I'd find you here.
Rob Kestler: Derp? I work here.
Napoleon Kestler: Erm... Right. Anyway, I had this great idea to rule the known world! It would involve all the jobbers of IWO to unite as one! And you would be their leader.
Rob Kestler: No.
Napoleon Kestler: No? WHY?!
Rob Kestker: Things to do, people to see... You know how it is. I'll see you back at home.
Rob leaves the room. Koala Carter walks up to Napoleon Kestler.
Koala Carter: G'day, mate.
Napoleon Kestler: Um... Hello?
Koala Carter: I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with that chap over there. I think you've got a great idea going for ya, mate. We tried to lead a jobber revelotion a while back,but Tom Ford threatened to cut our salaries.
Napoleon Kestler: We?
EL POLLO DIABLO OvO: MUAKEKEKEKEKEKE! DUDE, TOM FORD GAVE US ALL THE SHAFT! HOW DARE HE TREAT A MINION OF HELL THIS WAY?!
The Last Eskimo: The white man stole my land!
A large grin comes across the face of Napoleon Kestler.
Naploleon Kestler: My friends...
Gold and Glory Tournament Qualifying Match
Harold Hash vs. Bungle
Meygon: This match is for the qualification round for the Gold and Glory tournament. The first contender is the gay
Song 2 by Blur is heard threw out the arena. Bungle in all his bearness steps from the back. He comes out and starts to make his way down to the ring. He tries to get in and gets all caught up in the ropes. He makes it threw and falls to this face.
JT: I hope Bungle enjoys being down, cause we all know that Hash has this one already won.
GP: How can you be so sure?
JT: First off Hash isn't gay...well at least not openly gay. Second Hash isn't a moron and doesn't disguise himself so he can't
breathe well or move efficiently. And finally Hash gave me fifty dollars to say all that.
GP: Peon to the all mighty dollar are you JT?
JT: Hey I have to make my money some how, I don't even remember the last time we actually got a paycheck from the IWO!
Meygon: And his opponent, he is one of the not so greatest wrestlers in the IWO. Basically got everything he ever has from AWS
Man (known as Dictator.) But none the less he does have a groovy finisher name. He is HAROLD HASH!
"Hacksaw Decapitation" by Cannibal Corpse blares threw out the arena. Harold Hash steps out with Gus the Black Angus and a midget version of Bungle. He walks out to the top of the stage. Gus gives him a microphone.
Hash: Now I have decided to give you a little demonstration of what is going to happen to you before I go down and fully kick your
ass. So let's go with it.
Hash drops the microphone. The midget version of Bungle comes running at Hash. Hash kicks the midget version of Bungle in the face. As the midget version of Bungle gets up Hash pulls out a glock nine. He aims at the midget version of Bungle and shots him straight in the head. Hash then gives the gun to a Nuke fan. Hash makes his way to the ring. Hash goes under the ropes and slides in.
GP: Can you believe what we just saw? Hash just killed a midget on live TV! DAMN THAT ROB KESTLER AND HIS MIDGET-O-MATIC 5000!
JT: Oh come one now GP you know that IWO has been pulled from all the channels except for Public Access. And the only ones who watch that shit is stoners so we aren't hurting anyone one!
Hash runs at Bungle and does a flying body press on him to knock him to the ground. Hash is laying lefts and rights into Bungles face, well the bears face at least.
JT: Yes, Hash is not letting Bungle get any breathing room. RIGHT AFTER LEFT, LEFT AFTER RIGHT!
Bungle rolls Hash over and starts to headbutt Hash in the face. Hash pushes him off and stands up. Hash walks to Bungle but Bungle hits him right in the face with a dropkick.
GP: Bungle might call himself a jobber but he is a damn good jobber!
JT: And what does that exactly mean?
GP: That you are gay and that is that!
JT: Now that just doesn't make a lick of sense!
Bungle picks up Hash and puts him in a piledriver position. Hash moves his feet and hits Bungle right in the face. Bungle falls down with Hash falling on top of him. Hash picks him back up and whips him in the ropes. Hash follows him and hits him with a strong clothesline as Bungle turns around.
GP: That sure will stun the best of them.
JT: Wouldn't stun me.
The whole arena quiets and stairs at JT. The fan with the gun tries to shoot him, but misses and hits an Erik Blake fan. Too bad it wasn't Blake himself. Hash hits Bungle with a strong right as Bungle is stunned. Hash goes to the top rope and positions himself for a forward flip but Bungle rolls out of the way. Hash arches his back while Bungle goes up to the top rope. Bungle lands a 450 Leg Drop.
GP: That is a very ballsy thing to do. A 450 Leg Drop on to Hash. He better hope that Hash is stunned and dazed.
JT: Why do you say that GP?
GP: Cause that is Hashes own finisher. And if Hash realizes what he just did he will be pissed.
Bungle springs up and looks down at Hash shaking his head. Bungle picks up Hash and goes for a punch but Hash grabs his arm and throws him down with a single arm takedown. Hash stands up and starts to stomp on Bungle. The ref is telling him to stop but Hash pushes him away.
JT: Well apparently Hash is a moron. Does he not realize if he gets disqualified he will not be going to the G&G tournament?
Hash stops stomping on Bungle and picks him back up. Hash throws him into the corner. Hash then does a Brickhouse (a Stinger Splash) to him. Hash has him set up for a Diamond Dust but does a Super backwards DDT.
GP: What is Hash doing? He could have hit the "To make Tom, that evil mastermind genus, happy I split up my finisher and making
this the set up...I hope you are happy Tom, you're all happy aren't you? you doing a dance of joy about it, you think just cause your
president you can make me do what ever you want me to do! You evil bastard you" right then. But he did that?
JT: I guess he wants Bungle to hurt for doing his move to him.
Hash picks Bungle back up and tries for a face first DDT but Bungle Northern Lights Suplex with a pin.
GP: Bungle seems to have some left in him. But what is he going to do to capitalize off that move?
Bungle stands up and does a Belly to Belly suplex to Hash. Bungle makes his way to the ring apron. Bungle hits a sling shot leg drop on Hash. Hash rolls out of the ring and stands to his feet straggling. Bungle goes for a suicide dive. But Hash reverses it into a face first DDT. They both just lay out for a minute down on the ground. The ref is counting to ten.
Hash gets to this feet and starts to go up the apron. Bungle gets up and does a powerbomb since Hash isn't facing him on the apron. The ref still counting.
Meygon: This match has been declared a double count out. No winner and a by for who ever was supposed to fight them.
All of sudden AWS Man (also known as Dictator.) comes on the megatron.
AWS Man (also known as Dictator.): Since this is the I-freakin-WO and we have a tradition of doing messed up things and we also can't have someone get a freebie in the Gold and Glory tournament, I make this match a no disqualification match. Restart the freakin match!
JT: Well that's nice of AWS Man (also known as Dictator.) to do.
GP: And how.
Bungle gets to his feet first and goes to Hash. He picks up Hash and delivers a spinning powerbomb to Hash. Bungle gets to the apron and goes to the top rope. Bungle hits a frog splash on Hash. Bungle picks up and rolls him into the ring. Bungle goes over Hash and does a standing leg drop too him, but Hash sits up undertaker style.
GP: I feel the presence of evil in the arena.
JT: Bitch shut up. Undertaker doesn't even have that gimmick any more!
GP: You really know how to hurt a guy JT.
JT: I know, I am a bastard.
Hash gets up and delivers a continues powerbomb to Bungle twice. Then Hash goes up to the top rope. Hash goes for This is a long name for a move that isn't all to impressive but i like cause I am like that, and if you don't like it you can suck on my toes till your nads fall off and smack you in the face...BWAHAHAHAHAHA, okay this is a really long name for a damn move, and it isn't all to descriptive and I know noone will ever call it that but I don't care, we are getting back to cause I am like that too, oh yeah this really isn't correct grammar. Barq's is the best Root Beer of all time. (450 leg drop )
JT: HASH HIT IT!! IT HAS TO BE OVER!!
Hash goes for a pin on Bungle.
Meygon: The winner of this match and going to Gold and Glory tournament....HAROLD HASH!
Hash stands up and spits on Bungle. Then Hash makes his way up too the backstage area. Then we cut backstage, without much flair. We open on a rather amateurish camera shot of the general backstage area. Faux-dramatic music plays in the background as title cues flash. The first reads "Attack of the Mutant Spider-Baloons!". The second simply states "an epic film by Jack Breaker". We cut to a far-off shot of the door to a dressing room. Jack, in an obviously-guised voice, reads a narration.
Jack's Voice: It was a quiet day backstage at the Generic Arena-Super-Dome-o-Rama... a day not unlike any other. Or so it seemed... until... the Spider-baloons attacked!
As if on cue, and quite possibly so, Aubrey Breaker wanders past, stopping at the door and walking in. She is met by an avalanche of small brightly-colored plastic balls. Trillions of the balls pour out of the room into the corridor, followed by a few helium baloons. Aubrey is noticeably shocked.
Aubrey: Jack? Jack, what the hell are you doing?
She walks over to the camera.
Aubrey: Jack, did you fill our dressing room with little plastic balls?
The camera pans out, this time the real IWO camera, to reveal Jack, standing sheepishly behind a crate, holding a small camcorder.
Jack: Jeez, Aub! You ruined the shot! This was perfect!
Aubrey: What, may I ask, are you doing?
Jack tosses a small three-ring binder at her. Aubrey flicks through the pages.
Aubrey: What is this, some kind of script? "Attack of the Mutant Spider-Baloons"... what?
Jack: It's my latest film project. I'm a genious, I tell ya!
Aubrey: Uh, Jack? Film scripts usually tend to have, you know, WORDS. This is just sixty pages of drawings of Cap'n Crunch boxing with the Hamburglar.
Jack: You have no idea how the film industry works nowadays.
Aubrey: Neither do you.
Jack: Good point.
Aubrey: Now, go get dressed. You've got a big match tonight!
Jack: How big is it? Like, Elvis big?
Aubrey: Bigger. It's a tournament to see who's gonna go into Gold and Glory with a shot at the World title.
Jack: Oh, well then... wait a darn second, didn't I just win the SECOND of two consecutive number-one contenderships at Beach Party?
Aubrey: That happened a whole week ago. You can't honsestly expect them to remember that far into the past.
Jack: Two good points.
Aubrey: That was only one poi...
Jack: I think I know how to count, thank you very much.
Aubrey: I was just trying...
Jack: That just goes to show that you should never try to do anything. Do, or do not. There is no try.
Aubrey: Just go get ready.
Jack: No. Oh, wait. I mean okay. I always get those two mixed up.
Gold and Glory Tournament Qualifying Match
Bob Job vs. Donnie Daze
GP: Well it's time for our next Gold and Glory match.
JT: Psh. "Match"? Man is that using the term lightly.
GP: What are you getting at dumbass?
JT: Look at who's fighting. Donnie Daze former World Champion and
fuck this guy has really done nothing when you think about it.
GP: Shut up JT. It's still a match. Donnie Daze is a wrestler and Bob Job
well its still a god damn match.
JT: Whatever. Bob Job's a loser.
GP: At least he knows what his initials stand for, unlike "some" people.
JT: That was low Greg, real low :(
Meygon: Now introducing to the
weighing in at 215 pounds
former IWO Champion
Hailing from Port St. Lucie, Floridaof the "Dazed and Confused"
DOOOOOONNNNNNIIIIIEEEE DAAAAAAAZZZZZZEE !!!!
'Geronimo' by Unwritten Law blast over the PA system, as Donnie Daze strolls down to the ring with an air of confidence and a hint of arrogance surrounding him. He plays to the crowd pumping his hands in the air and flexing to the crowd. The audience in attendance gives him a decent size pop.
GP: We have our first wrestler in the ring for this tournament match. Daze really looks confident going into this match up.
JT: And he has ever right to be.
GP: Why's that JT?
HE'S FIGHTING BOB FUCKING JOB FOR CHISTSAKES!!
GP: Ah! Dammit, you didn't need to yell.
Meygon: His opponent tonight
weighing in at 101 pounds
hailing from a remote part of lictenstein where midget hermaphrodites rule the land and normal people are few. they're are hoping to soon join the UN so that the normal people can get some family support from other countries, but until then, they''re stuck with these midgets
he's the Extreme Jobbing sensation
some psycho Japanese guy who wants to corrupt our youth. Plays as Bob Job makes his way down to the ring. The crowd erupts in laughter as Bob walks up to the ropes. Bob is a little irritated by the laughter.
GP: What's so funny?
JT: Look at him!!
GP: What? He looks serious about wrestling this match.
JT: Exactly! He actually thinks he has a chance of winning!!
Crowd and JT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
GP: You all are just plain mean.
The ref motions for the bell
With that Bob Job charges in at Donnie Daze, who's leisurely leaning against the turnbuckle, oblivious to Bob's existence.
GP: Daze better pay more attention to this match.
JT: He doesn't need too!!
GP: Why's that?
I'm not repeating myself.
Bob lowers his head and his inches away from Daze at this point, and
He hits nothing but turnbuckle.
GP: Daze sidestepped at the last second.
Bob Job's head collided with the ring post with as much momentum his little body could produce. Bob's already busted open and is staggering around in a daze. All the while the crowd and JT are laughing at him.
GP: Jesus, do you really have to be so boisterous?
JT: I can't help it
look at him! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Daze joins in on the laughter. He collects himself and approaches Bob Job, while struggling to contain laughter. He scoop slams Bob down to the canvas, bounces off the ropes and nails a running elbow drop to Job's sternum. Daze then covers.
GP: Daze goes for a pin attempt already.
JT: Ok, it's over.
Daze has Bob Job pinned, and the ref drops for the count.
Kick out by Bob Job
GP: Bob Job kicks out!
JT: Whatever. Daze probably just let him get up. I mean, he does have to kill at least 15 minutes in this match just to give the fans what they paid for.
Daze snags Bob Job up by the neck, and slings him into the ropes. Bob bounces back into a flying leg lariat courtesy of Donnie Daze. Daze then delivers a standing leg drop, then plays up to the crowd again, who pop for him.
JT: Bob Job is sooooo finished.
GP: Not until the ref counts him out 123.
JT: Which won't be to long now it seems.
Daze pulls Bob Job to his feet. Daze rears back to cold cock him in the face, but stopped to look down and burst into laughter. All in attendance joined in.
GP: Stop that!
Daze collapse in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and the entire arena is as well. The laughter begins to wan however as Bob Job shakes the cobwebs form his head, and climbs to the top rope.
JT: Now what the hell does he think he's doing?
Everyone except Daze, who is stilling rolling on the canvas, is wondering the same exact thing. Daze's laughter his brutally abbreviated, as Bob Job leaps high off the top rope and buries both knees into Donnie Daze's chest.
JT: WHAT THE FUCK!
GP: HEH HEH!! Who's laughing now JT?
JT: Shut up!
Daze writhes in pain, and begins to spit up small amounts of blood. Seemingly, Bob Job's 101-pound frame crashed down on Daze's lungs with enough force to pierce the chest cavity
ouch. Bob Job stands over Daze's body bewildered. His opponent is down, injured and at Bob Job's mercy
Bob's not used to this kinda thing.
GP: Bob Job could win this one folks!
JT: Holy shit!
Bob Job is still indecisive with what he should do with the vulnerable Donnie Daze. He stands around thinking for moment. Then a light bulb appears over his head! He grabs it and smashes it into Daze's face.
This is IWO remember.
GP: Oh yeah. Carry on.
Anyway, Bob Job follows up that attack, by digging into his pants and pulling out a duck. He rains down blow after blow with the duck, until the unlucky mallard waddles away crying.
JT: He made the duck cry!! YOU BASTARD!
Bob Job then goes to cover.
JT: My God! Bob Job's actually pinning someone!
The ref is about to count but before he can, Daze aggressively shoves Bob Job off of him. He bolts up to his feet, putting the pain in his ribs aside, and glares at Bob Job.
GP: Oh no. This isn't looking good for Bob Job.
JT: I never doubted daze for a moment.
Daze rushes Bob Job, but Bob Job drop toe holds him. Daze is caught off guard, thinking Bob Job could never pull off a move like that. Bob Job pulls Daze to his feet, and plants him with a DDT.
GP: Nice move by Bob Job!
JT: It was only a DDT.
GP: And a pretty one at that!
Bob Job lifts Daze up again, and applies an inverted facelock. He then rushes up to the corner looking to nail that Spike Dudley move, but Daze stops him dead in his tracks, and sets up on the top rope rather roughly. Daze then pulls Bob Job down, making Bob Job hang upside down on the turnbuckle. Daze then delivers a thunderous series of chops to Bob Job's exposed chest.
Daze tears Bob Job away from the corner, and grabs him in a waistlock. He dumps him over with a release German suplex. Daze then flips Bob Job on his back and stomps down on his chest. Daze rips Bob to his feet only to slam him back down around with a Body Drop Driver.
GP: Oh man. Bob Job's neck could be broken.
JT: Serves him right!
Daze then goes ballistic, and give Bob Job a series of release German suplexes all over the ring.
GP: Oh man! He's getting tossed like a rag doll!
JT: Heh heh!!
Daze finally caps off this flurry by nailing Bob Job with a "Dazed and Confused". He then heads to the top rope.
JT: And that's all she wrote ladies and gents!!
GP: Grudgingly I'm going to have to agree with JT here. I've seen IWO legends rendered incapacitated by that finisher. There's no chance of Bob Job recovering from this.
Daze thinking the same way, takes his sweet time climbing up to the top rope.
JT: Now all that's left is for Daze to land the Daze Blaze, and we can all move on.
I see twitching.
To the amazement of the crowd and the announcers alike BOB JOB SPRINGS TO HIS FEET!!
JT: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!
Bob Job rushes Daze who his frozen in amazement, and crotches him on the top rope with a leaping forearm from the little guy. Bob Job then hurriedly goes to work. He scrambles to the top of the turnbuckle, and hits Daze with a nasty Hangman's DDT using the top rope for leverage.
All in attendance are silence in astonishment.
Whoa. Did you just see what I saw JT?
GP: My God JT!! JT's heart stopped!!
Bob Job, a little taken back by his own accomplishment himself, stands there dumbfounded. He then snaps out of it and lands his finisher the Lucky Pinfall!
The ref however is as shocked as everyone else, not sure if his eyes are deceiving him.
GP: Count dammit!!
Bob Job: Uhm
you mind counting?
Bob Job: You know
what you're paid for?
Thre-NO! Daze shoulders out of the pin at the last possible moment!
GP: NO!! BOB JOB WOULD"VE WON IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DAMN REF!!
Daze bolt toward Bob Job and nails him with another Dazed and Confused before Bob could move. He rips Bob Job up again and nails his finisher one more time. Daze then hops to the top rope and lands the Daze Blaze ensuring a win.
GP: NOOOOOO!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!
Meygon: Your winner
*dub* well it looks like my heart is beating again. That's always a plus.
GP: So fucking close. Bob Job really surprised everyone here tonight.
The crowd raise to their feet and give Bob Job a standing ovation for his efforts. Then the scene fades into Tom Ford's office, as Tom Ford is dialing a telephone number.
Tom Ford: Hi, Tod? This is Tom Ford.
Schitzo Tod: Oh, hey Tom.
Tom Ford: Look Tod, I'm going to get the point. If this whole "quitting" deal is just one of your prank things, I'd like you to give it up and come back.
Schitzo Tod: Sorry, Tom. I'd love to tell you it was a "prank thing," but it's not. I'm done with IWO. I've had a great two years, but I can't go on anymore.
Tom Ford: Tod... Look at HT tonight. Look at the main event. ERIK BLAKE! We put HIM in the main event! Just come back.
Schitzo Tod: Tom, I've made up my mind. I'm sorry.
Tom Ford: No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called.
Schitzo Tod: It's okay... Look, I'll talk to you later. Bye.
Tom Ford: Bye.
Tom hangs up the phone, and lets out a sigh.
IWO Cruiserweight Title Match
Daniel Phillips -c- vs. High Flyer
GP: Next up is a match that we pretty much set up at the top of the show, with IWO Cruiserweight champion Da-
GP: ...Phillips, taking on High Flyer tonight.
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for one fall...
"Downfall" by TRUSTcompany blared for the second time of the night.
Meygon: Introducing first... he hails from Phoenix, Arizona... and weighs in at two hundred and twelve pounds... he is the reigning IWO Cruiserweight Champion... he is DANIEL PHILLIPS!
The fans instantly booed before the chants of "Aardvark King" began to flare up, infuriating the IWO Cruiserweight champion and self-proclaimed "King of the Cruiserweights". He tried his best to ignore them as he entered the ring, but eventually, his anger got the better of him and he proceeded to mouth the words "fuck you" at the fans while giving them the finger.
GP: Daniel isn't exactly the greatest individual in the world, I'll tell you that.
JT: He's better than you with the fans, Greg. At least he tells them how he TRULY feels about them.
"Loco" by Coal Chamber hit, and the fans responded loudly for IWO Hall of Famer and former World champion, High Flyer.
JT: BAH. HIGH FLYER. BAH.
Flyer immediately entered the ring and started brawling with Phillips as the bell rang. Flyer was getting the better of Phillips in the brawling, and he whipped Phillips into the ropes. Phillips reversed, but Flyer pulled the old "Rey Mysterio" twist through the ropes to turn himself around. This surprised Phillips, so he charged Flyer, and got dumped on the outside when Flyer steps him aside and tosses him on the outside.
GP: Flyer has the advantage thus far in this matchup.
JT: It's only been... what, THIRTY SECONDS?! Come on, Danny~!
As Phillips recovered on the outside, High Flyer took a running start and executed a no-hands running plancha to the outside, which caught Daniel. Flyer rained down some right hands on Phillips before he tossed him back into the ring. Flyer immediately vaulted up to the top rope and caught the recovering Phillips with a missile dropkick. Flyer quickly hooked the leg for a cover.
GP: Missile dropkick! Cover! ONE!!
JT: KICKOUT! TWO!
Flyer was about to pull Phillips to his feet, but Phillips quickly called him with a low blow which the referee, of course, missed, then he rolled him up, hooked the tights, and hooked the nearby ropes.
GP: Jesus CHRIST! Can this man cheat any less?!
JT: ONE!! TWO!!!
GP: THREE! DAMMIT!
The referee called for the bell, but fortunately for Flyer, it *was* two out of three falls. Flyer realized this, and Phillips didn't, and as Phillips was about to leave, Flyer caught him with a released German suplex, flinging Daniel halfway across the ring and right on his head. As Daniel scrambled to his feet and ran at Flyer, but Flyer caught him with a snap powerslam. He quickly went for the cover.
GP: Powerslam! One... two... NO!
JT: YES! Come on, Danny!
Flyer waited for Phillips to get up, and he charged, but Phillips caught him with a hotshot. He then caught the staggering High Flyer with a kick in the gut, and looked the end the match with the Perfect Halo, but Flyer quickly countered into a Northern Lights Suplex.
GP: NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! ONE...
JT: KICKOUT! THANK GOD!
Flyer rose to his feet first, and quickly grabbed Phillips' arms and spun him around into a backslide.
GP: Backslide! ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!
GP: So close!
Phillips got up first, and caught Flyer with a blind forearm. The only thing that kept Flyer from flying out to the floor were the ropes, which bounced him back into Phillips' grasp. Phillips went for the Inciter.
GP: Phillips with the Inci- NO! Flyer flips out from behind!
JT: AHH! NO!
GP: HYP-O-THEERRRMMIIIIAAAA~! PHILLIPS IS DOWN!
JT: NO! NO NO NO!
GP: FLYER WITH THE PIN! ONE!!! TWO!!!!
The bell rang, and Flyer's hand was raised. He had won the second fall, and he was on his feet first. He waited for Phillips to get up, and then he destroyed him with a spinning heel kick to the face. After accomplishing this, Flyer pulled Phillips to the center of the ring, and he immediately went to the top rope for the one move that could possibly end the Cruiserweight title reign of Phillips as quickly as it could begin.
The Flying Moon Shot.
Hits the knees.
Flyer bounced off of Phillips' knees and held his chest, but had enough guts to get on his feet before Phillips could. He went for another spinning heel kick.
The referee did not.
GP: No! The referee is down!
JT: And bad things usually happen when that does!
And indeed, they happen, as Phillips went low on Flyer, and then slid onto the outside to grab his title belt. He went back into the ring and went for a wild swing on Flyer, but Flyer ducked it, and to the cheers of the crowd, Flyer landed On Deaf Ears.
GP: ON DEAAFFF EARRRS~! COME ON, REF! GET UP!
JT: NO NO NO! DON'T GET UP!
Flyer realized the ref was still down, and he decided to go for the endblow. The Flying Moon Shot. He vaulted up to the top turnbuckles and leapt off for the moonsault.
Bones on metal.
Flyer landed on the title belt that was held up about a foot from Daniel's face, face-first. Phillips tossed the belt to the outside, and quickly made a cover, hooked both legs, and hooked the tights too.
JT: Phillips has the cover! THE REF IS UP! ONE!!!
GP: This isn't right! TWO!!
*ding, ding, ding*
The fans exploded in boos, as Daniel Phillips managed to win the match through heinous cheating. Phillips rolled to the outside of the ring and immediately picked up his title belt, as Meygon announced the winner.
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen... the winner of this match... and STILL the IWO Cruiserweight Champion... DANIIIIEL PHILLIPS~!
GP: This isn't right! Flyer's a legend! He just got SHAFTED by Daniel Phillips!
JT: Fuck that! FUUUUCK THAT!
GP: *sighs* Anyway, we've got more action soon!
Tom Ford pokes his head in AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator)'s "office."
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Freakin' yeah?
Tom Ford: Hey... You're Tod's friend. Give him a call, and get him to come back to the IWO, okay?
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Will freakin' do, cheif!
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator) salutes Tom, who leaves. The Insane One picks up a phone and dials Tod's number.
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Freakin' Tod!
Schitzo Tod: Oh, hey.
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): You don't freakin' know me, but I'm calling to reproset the freakin' IWO.
Schitzo Tod: Dude, I know you. Your'e AWS Man (Also Known as Bill). We used to tag!
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Um... I have no freakin' clue what you're talking about... Either way, I was freakin' call you to ask you a question.
Schitzo Tod: Yeah?
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Um... Let me freakin' think... OH YEAH! Do you freakin' prefer white bread... Or wheat bread?
Schitzo Tod: Hm... White.
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator): Freakin' yeah!
AWS Commish (Also Known as Dictator) hangs up the phone. We cut away elsewhere backstage, where we see Jack Breaker, aimlessly roaming the backstage corridors, camcorder still firmly in hand. As our scene begins, he approaches Bob Job, apparently heading in the other direction. Heh, that wacky Bob. Always going various places. Anyway, as Jack passes him, he stops and throws a handful of colored plastic balls at him and crouches down to film the results.
Bob: Hey Jack! What's up, ma...OH DEAR GOD! THE RED ONES! NOT THE RED ONES! Ow, much pain I am having now in my face! This is not a happy time!
Jack speaks into the camera, in his mock-dramatic voice.
Jack: Another victim claimed by the EEVIL hell-bent-on-destruction-and-cupcakes plastic balls of much evil intention!
From behind, High Flyer passes.
Flyer: Hey, Jack! Hey, Bob! What's all this congregating in the hallways for? Some kind of secret club?
Jack throws some balls at him, and this time dives backwards to get a more dramatic camera angle.
Flyer: HOLY SHIT, OW! MY EYE! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET BALLS IN MY EYE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU NUT?!?
Flyer drops to the ground and rolls around in agony. Bob Job does the same, just to not feel left out. We see a nearby door swing open, and Tom Ford's head sticks out, investigating the whole ruckus.
Tom: What the hell is going on out here!?
Jack glances up to the ceiling, and a barrage of balls drops onto Tom's head.
Tom: AGH! NOOOO! I'M MEELTING! MEEEELTING! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!
Tom drops to the floor to join Bob and Flyer in convulsing. Jack glances at his watch.
Jack: Ooh, I have a match to get ready for!
He drops the camera on the ground and takes off down the hall.
Gold and Glory Tournament Qualifying Match
Jack Breaker vs. Edguardo
GP: The next up match here tonight is a Gold and Glory tournament match up. It's going to be Jack Breaker verses Edguardo. Both of these men have tag team backgrounds but Jack has a little more one on one experience.
JT: Well, that doesn't mean you can just say that Jack is going to win this match?
GP: I didn't say he was going to win I was just informing the fans that Jack has more experince on one on one matches you are the one that is saying that if either one of us are.
JT: Oh that's right...well, I do think that Jack is going to win and its not because I like him its well because Edguardo is going to get his ass kicked.
GP: Well, I love your reasons for this but I think they are wrong. I think Edguardo is going to surprise everybody tonight he may not win but I bet he puts on a good match for all of us tonight.
JT: Well, it looks like once again we pick someone different but like always I will be the one who is right.
GP: You are right like one in a million times.
JT: We haven't called a million matches.
GP shakes his head
GP: Well, its time to get to this match lets head to the ring.
The camera cuts to Meygon who is standing in the middle of the ring.
Meygon: The following match up is a qualifying Gold and Glory tournament match up.
The fans start to cheer.
Meygon: Introducing first...Half of Those Damned Mexicans... EEEEEEEDDDDGGGGGGGUUUUARRRRRRDOOOOO!!!!!
'Self' by American Head Charge blast over the PA system and out walks Edguardo the fans are standing on their feet and some are screaming while others are booing. Edguardo walks down to the ring then he rolls under the bottom rope to enter the ring.
GP: Edguardo looks to be ready and in shape for this match up. He may not be many peoples favorite to win this tournament but I think he has more of a shot than most people say.
JT: He is going to be making an early exit in this tournament and it starts by losing tonight to Jack.
Meygon: And his opponent from New Orleans, Louisiana standing 6 feet and 2 inches tall and weighing 242 pounds half of the Deadly Sins... JAAAAACKKKKKKKK BRRRREEEEAAAAAKKKKERRRRRR!!!!
'Cyclops Rock' by They Might be Giants blast over the PA system and out walks Jack Breaker. The fans are on there feet going nuts for Jack as he poses for a few seconds he then walks down to the ring and climbs the steps to get in the ring he turns around and poses again then he gets into the ring.
JT: There is the man that is going to go far in this tournament.
GP: Only time will tell if he isn't focused he could be the one making the early exit out of the tournament. It looks like thereferee is ready to start this match up.
Ding ding ding...
Jack and Edguardo lock up in the center of the ring but they break the lock up as neither man was going to get an advantage. They lock up again but again they break it off. Finally Edguardo raises his right hand for a test of strength.
GP: Holy crap I haven't seen a test of strength in the ring in ages. But Jack better be careful because it could be a setup by Edguardo.
JT: Jack is too smart to fall for something like that.
Jack slowly raises up his left hand with a lot of caution. They start the test of strength and Jack is winning and just as they are about to lock in with the other hand Edguardo kicks Jack in the stomach then he hits a swinging neck breaker.
JT: I may not think Edguardo is going to win this match but that was sure a great move.
GP: A cheap move.
JT: Well, you have to do what works...anything to win a match.
Edguardo is now on top of Jack trying to choke him out and he is getting a count by the referee at 4 Edguardo breaks the hold. Edguardo gets to his feet and Jack is not far behind but Edguardo gives him a clothesline and down Jack goes.
GP: Edguardo is not giving Jack any room to do anything. A very good but very mean strategy.
JT: Wrestling isn't a nice sport you know.
GP: I didn't say it was it just takes a lot to pound on someone and not let them get in any offense.
Edguardo has Jack up and he sends him to the ropes then he gives him a drop kick. Edguardo is again fast to get up and he climbs up to the second rope and he nails a leg drop off. He then goes for the pin.
GP: No, Jack kicks out after a two count.
JT: It's going to take more than that to keep Jack down.
GP: Well, you can't blame him for at least trying to go for the pin we have wrestlers now a days that won't go for a pin when
they should and it ends up costing them in the end.
JT: Now a days? Oh my...
Edguardo is talking to the referee about a slow count when he goes back to pounding away at Jack who is on his hands and knees. Edguardo hits Jack over the back with a double ax handle, then he kicks him in the side of his chest but Jack won't go all the way down. Edguardo is starting to get frustrated, as he can't break Jack. Finally Jack nails a low blow on Edguardo that the referee doesn't see and Edguardo goes down to his knees as Jack gets up. Jack takes Edguardo by the head then gives him a reverse DDT.
GP: Jack is started to get the momentum and its going to be hard for Edguardo to make a come back now.
JT: Did I hear that correctly you are giving up on Edguardo?
GP: No, I'm not giving up on him I'm just saying that it would be hard for any IWO superstar to come back on Jack once he gets going. Because he is that good of a wrestler.
Jack picks Edguardo up and he sets Edguardo up on the top rope. Jack follows up quickly setting him up for a superplex off the top rope. Jack goes for it but in mid air Edguardo reverses and he lands on Jack and Edguardo is in a position to pin Jack.
GP: Nooooooo, Jack kicked out after a two and a half count. Oh my was that ever close.
JT: You actually thought he wasn't going to kick out but I knew all along that he would.
GP: Sure you did...I saw that you were getting a bit nervous that you would be wrong again.
Both men are now back on there feet and they are trading punches. There is a right from Edguardo then a right from Jack. This continues until both have hardly anything left behind there punches but finally down goes Edguardo. Jack climbs to the top rope as Edguardo looks to be out for the most part. Jack jumps and he hits a frog splash on Edguardo and he goes for the pin.
GP: NOOOOOOO!!! Edguardo kicked out at the very last possible second. It doesn't get any closer to a 3 count than that.
JT: Awww come on that was a 3 count and everybody knows it.
GP: You may think it was it was close yes but the only person that matters to is the referee and he saw it as a two and almost three count.
Jack is back on his feet and he picks up Edguardo by his hair. He picks Edguardo up and power slams him down to the mat. Jack then runs and jumps off the ropes doing a lionsalt off the second rope and landing on Edguardo. He goes for the pin again.
GP: Another close fall but Edguardo kicked out yet again.
JT: Come on this referee is screwing Jack.
Jack looks up with a look of disbelief, as he doesn't see how Edguardo kicked out again. Jack is still calm and he hasn't lost his cool yet.
GP: I told you Edguardo would put on a good match and Jack just can't keep him down for the three count he has came close but he just can't do it. What is it going to take?
JT: It's only a matter of time and you know it.
Jack gets on his feet and he is saying something to the referee just like Edguardo did earlier. He goes and picks up Edguardo and sends him to the corner then Jack hits the ropes and hits a bulldog on Edguardo but he doesn't go for the pin.
GP: That could be a mistake by Jack not going for the pin.
JT: He knows what he is doing.
GP: Well, yes he does but what if he could end this match right there.
JT: I think Edguardo would kick out and so does Jack so just shut up will you.
Jack gets to his feet and he again picks up Edguardo. Then Jack nails a Clockwork DDT and Edguardo is out as Jack goes for the pin.
Meygon: The winner of this match up JAAAAACCCKKKKK BRRRRREEEAAAAAKKKERRRRRR!!!!!!!!
GP: That's it Jack has won this match up.
JT: See I told you.
GP: Ummm...I said Jack would probably win but Edguardo would put on a good match.
'Cyclops Rock' by They Might be Giants blast over the PA system as Jack celebrates his victory and both wrestlers leave the ring. We cut backstage, where a loud thud is heard outside of Tom Ford's office. Mad Max barges through the door.
Tom Ford: Hey! Max! Here to get booked for a show?
Mad Max: Erm... No.
Tom Ford: Why do you hang around here, then?
Mad Max: I come for the complimentary Mexican buffet.
Tom Ford: ...But we don't have a complimentary Mexican buffet...
Mad Max: Oh... Then please, give that hismpanic worker's family my condolences and apologies.
Tom Ford: Max... Why are you here?
Mad Max: I came to get some of Tod's personal belongings. He asked me to bring them to him.
Tom Ford: Oh... Why didn't he just come himself?
Mad Max: Don't you know?
Tom Ford: Know what?
Mad Max: The reason Tod quit... He's got a bad case of "wrestlephobia."
Tom Ford: Wrestlephobia?
Mad Max: Because of the match with Syphon Fission. He's scared to get back in the ring... He's even scared to get anywhere near a ring.
Tom Ford: Oh... Is there anything we can do?
Mad Max: I don't know. But I'll find out.
Tom Ford: Bye, Max. And, thanks.
Mad Max: No problem.
The camera pans out.
North American Championship
Erik Blake -c- vs. ???
GP: Well fans, we've got an interesting match tonight as our main event. The most recent North American Champion, Erik Blake, takes on a mystery opponent to be named... well, right now!
JT: I just hope it's not another flaming retard.
JT: What! I don't feel like being the home of the special people in the wrestling industry, AGAIN!
Fade into the ring. Meygon is standing there in a one piece bathing suit that would fit a small parakeet. She smiles.
Meygon: This next match, is like, scheduled for one fall, has a twenty minute time limit, and is for the North American Championship!
The fans let out a cheer, as "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" by Eminem starts up over the pa system. The fans change their cheers to jeers almost immediatly.
Meygon: Introducing first, the champion! He hails from Chicago, Illinois, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty six pounds, the North American Champion, "Showtime" Erik Blake!
Blake extends his hand out of the entrance curtain, flashing the North American Championship for all to see, before coming out of the backstage area himself. He has a sly grin on his face, as he confidently made his want to the ring. Ignoring the fans on his way, he slide in, and then held the championship for all to see.
Meygon: And his opponent...
The fans in attendance quiets to a silent hush. "Destro's Secret" by Dillinger Escape Plan plays to a shocked and confused audience.
Meygon: Entering the arena tonight, he hails from... New Reno?, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and ninety eight pounds...
The entrance curtains part, and there stood Bat...
With Mad Max following close behind.
And a huge pop coming after that.
GP: MAD MAX! MAD MAX?!?! HOW IN GOD'S NAME!
JT: Oh great! Fucken A God, can't you at least do one thing for me and stop this place from being filled with RETARDS!?!
Erik Blake's confident look in the ring turned into shock and fear, as Mad Max strutted down the entrance way, doing posable Ninja style hand gestures and slapping fan's hands. He was wearing a full body gi which had the words "Mad Max is a Glad Max," on the back, before he slid into the ring.
GP: Mad Max is back in the Internet Wrestling Organization, and there goes Erik Blake, BARRELING out of the ring!
Blake lands on his feet, backing off quickly from Max, who stands in the ring confused.
GP: Erik Blake wants NO part of a legend like Mad Max!
JT: And I don't blame him! That boy just ain't right!
*Ding, ding, ding*
The bell is rung, even though both men aren't in the ring. Blake is still wandering around on the outside, trying to figure out a way to prepare for this.
JT: This just isn't fairr! Mad Max knew all week he was going to face a high class athlete like Erik Blake, and Blake didn't even have a chance to wrap himself in cellapham to keep Max's dirty self off of him!
GP: ... What are you smoking JT, and whatever it is, can you please share the sheeba?
Max barreled out of the ring, as Blake saw this. Erik took off running, racing around the ring, remembering not to run into the steel ring steps. Max however, wasn't so lucky, catching them with his knee on his way around. Max hobbled for a bit before Blake slide into the ring. Max saw Blake standing there, as Blake catapulted himself over.
JT: SHOW ME ANOTHER TWO HUNDRE-...
Max catches him in mid air. Blake starts to squirm to get out of the fallaway position, but Max has him locked in tight. He also seems a bit confused.
GP: MAX JUST CAUGHT THE TWO HUNDRED SIXTY PLUS POUNDER IN MID-FLIGHT!
JT: Oh, I coulda done that.
Suddently, a baby elephant falls from the ceiling, landing on JT. Squash.
GP: What were you saying?
Max lifts Blake up, and slams him in a body slam fashion on the steel steps. Blake screams out in pain, before rolling off, and slowly pulling himself away by the ring apron's tarp.
Max however, has other ideas in mind. Max begins to pull all sorts of crazy weapons out from underneath the ring. A ladder, a chair, a stop sign, and hell, even a kitchen sink.
JT: Why the fuck do we have a kitchen sink in there?
GP: Because underneath all wrestling rings, random stupid and sometimes silly objects lie. It's just a fact of the business JT. They usually teach you that in class three of pro-wrestling school.
Max starts to throw these objects into the ring, as Call-it-Straight Cal begins screaming.
Call-it-straight Cal: W-w-w-w-w-what is going on h-here?!?! He-hey! I need that s-s-s-sink!
Max throws the kitchen sink into the ring, which cracks it. Call-it-Straight Cal dives out of the incoming object's way, before picking up a cup of coffee.
Blake climbs up to his feet, still holding his back, as he takes on look into the ring. Seeing the amount of weapons that Max has thrown in doesn't bold well for Blake, so instead, Blake races around the ring, using the steel steps as a springboard, and clotheslining the dazed Max on the outside mats.
GP: Blake is using his speed to his advantage! Max may know all sorts of forms of karate and such now, but I don't think he's nearly as fast as Showtime.
JT: Why can't he have a manager named Skin-a-max? Now THAT'S quality television.
Blake gets to his feet, and rolls Max back into the ring slowly. Blake follows suit, before begining to kick the weapons out of the ring.
Blake walks over to the kitchen sink, and gives it a swift kick. Blake immediatly raises the foot he used to kick to his body, clutching it in pain and hoping on the other.
Blake turns around, still hoping, only to recieve a swift kick to the face by Mad Max.
GP: DEAR GOD! BLAKE MUST BE KNOCKED UNCONSIOUS!
JT: Well, at least HE can't see what a horrible match this is.
Max dives on top for the cover...
Blake's able to get his hand on the bottom rope.
GP: So close! Max almost had the North American Championship!
Call-it-Straight Cal begins to push the weapons out of the ring, as Max gets to his feet. Blake dazefully rolls out to the apron, before begining to pull himself up. Max charges, and goes for another kick, but Blake's able to dodge, which causes Max to crotch himself on the top rope.
GP: A MISCALCULATED KICK FROM THE NINJA!
JT: God Greg, he's not an ACTUAL ninja!
Suddently, Ninja's come out from the back and beatt up JT with nunchucks and bo's. One ninja even goes so far to rip off his level belt, and strangle him.
Inside the ring, Blake is hammering away at Max with right hands, and begins to climb up to the top rope. He looks to hit the shaken Max with something, but Max begins to stir, pulling his leg off of the top rope. However, this causes Blake's balance to be ackward, as he loses it and falls crotch first, much to the gladness of the fans.
GP: Max crotched Blake inadvertantly, and Blake may be three seconds away from losing his title!
Max walks over to the turnbuckle, and wraps his hand around Blake's neck. Max lifts Blake off, going for what many know as the Titan X-Press, but Blake reverses it in mid-flight into his Highlighter, to a huge chorus of boos from the fans.
However, Blake doesn't have the werathals to make the cover, instead, holding his crotch still in pain.
GP: Both men are down, as is my color commentator JT, and the referee begins to issue a ten count!
Blake begins to stir, holding his head as much now as his crotch.
Max begins to regain his senses, but Blake pushes him back down and draps an arm over him for a cover.
NO! Max BARELY gets a shoulder up!
GP: DEAR GOD! Max was able to kick out of the highlighter! I can't believe it!
JT: AH! Did I lose the match?!? Am I up in time?!?
GP: What are you talking about?
JT: I thought the ten count was also for me to get up off my ass or be fired.
Blake gets to his feet, dazed, and obviously angered. He begins to stomp on the canvas, before he climbs out of the ring, and grabs his North American Championship.
Call-it-Straight Cal: He-hey! E-erik Blake! Y-y-y-you can't do that!
Blake slides into the ring, ignoring the referee's demands. Blake waits for Max to get to his feet, calling him up. When Max regains himself, Blake takes a mighty swing, but misses. Max is able to hook the dazed Blake, and take him over in a vicous T-Bone, aka the Darkel Suplex.
GP: DARKEL SUPLEX! THERE IT IS!
Max gets to his feet, still a little confused from the highlighter, and looks down at the North American Championship belt.
Mad Max: BOB!
Max picks up the North American Championship, and looks at it as if it's his Extreme Championship from long ago, and just smiles. As Blake gets to his feet in a wobbly fashion, Max strikes Erik Blake square in the head.
GP: Dear God!
*ding, ding, ding*
Meygon: Your winner, via disqualification, and STILL, North American Champion, ERIK BLAKE!
GP: Max just disqualified himself!
JT: I think he thinks this is still an Extreme title match! You know how he used to be an Extreme monster, maybe he doesn't know the Extreme title is defunct!
GP: You know,that actually makes sense, in only an IWO way of course, but it still makes perfect sense! It explains Max calling the NA title BOB!
Max looks at the championship, and then at Call-it-Straight Cal, who explains the situation in a stuttering fashion. Max just drops the championship onto Blake confused, and pouts out of the ring.
GP: Fans, I guess that's all the action we have for you this week! Tune in next week on our web cast for IWO's Hostile Takeover!
JT: You mean it's not another "supercard," holy christ! It's a miracle!
GP: Well, we caught up with our schedule.
JT: Oh, Then it's just a coincidence.
GP: Fans! Until Next week, Erik Blake is still the North American Champion, and Mad Max has made his return! Gooday until then!
The camera focuses on Erik Blake, who's still lying face up in the ring with the belt drapped over his body.
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