*The following is intended for a pay per view viewing audience. If you do not like Mature subject matters then please do not read*
(Scene fades to black as a heartbeat. The words "Internet Wrestling Organization." Fade in, fade out. Again. Again. Again; this time with no fade out. A crash of thunder, a bolt of lightning, and the words light aflame, shining bright blue as they burn.)
("Episode 666" by In Flames. The words "Conspiracy Theory II" appear on the screen. They begin to quiver...the words all of a sudden become ablaze and explode shattering everywhere as we go live...)
(BOOM! Fireworks go off everywhere as "Episode 666" plays, now live, over The MGM Grand in Las Vegas Nevada. Fans scream, fans yell as fireworks continue to blast off everywhere. The camera pans around the building to the thousands of fans still on there feet. Then the camera moves and stops at the announcers booth with GP, JT, and Shallow waiting for the fans to calm down.)
(The audience starts to become not as loud as the GP smiles into the camera and becomes the ring announcer he is)
GP: FANS WELCOME TO THE IWO, WELCOME TO A GREAT NIGHT IN WRESTLING, WELCOME TO CONSPIRACY THEORY II
Shallow: WOW!!! I must admit this crowed is HUGE!
JT: Doesn't beat Ice Age..
Shallow: Nothing will.
GP: Fans we got a GREAT card for you tonight!....Not only will Conspiracy Theory matches take place, but this time breaking from last years ways, Conspiracy Theory II will have the world title defended, NOT ONCE!!! NOT TWICE!! BUT THREE TIMES!!!
JT: Yea....just three more times to see Kell get his ass kicked.
Shallow: You know, the man has proven himself time after time, AFTER TIME! And you can't find the right time of day to just give the man his dues!
JT: Thank you, I'll keep that in mind when I am relieving myself, number 2 of course.
Shallow: You're so sick!
JT: Ain't I though!
GP: Fans also tonight for the first time in IWO history one person will hold the IWO Tag Team titles by them selves...will it be Dane Matthews or the IWO legend....Capital Punishment?
Shallow: You know in the IWO only two other men have held the IWO IC Tag belts by themselves....
JT: YEA THE BIGGEST HEELS IN THE IWO EVER!!!
Shallow: He's right....Dane Wilt...and...........
JT: EVAN LEVINE!!!
Shallow: I think we have had enough of both of them.
[All of a sudden the camera cuts away from the announcer team and goes to the back as we see a limo pulling up. The limo comes to a stop and the driver gets out and opens the door. Then as the fans look on IWO President Jamie Kosoy gets out of the car to a Huge Pop]
Jamie: Has my room be made up?
Worker: Yes sir.
Jamie: Good....get Phelen Kell for me..... tell him to meet me in my office.
Worker: Yes sir.
[Jamie walks off camera as the camera pans and moves in on a black car just sitting there in the back. The camera man tries to get a close up of who is in there but the car goes off as we cut back to the ring]
GP: Well, we are going to first see in this amazing lineup the first of a
three set elimination series involving IWO Hall of Famer and World Champion
Phelen Kell, Syphon Fission, Samuel Potright and a Mystery Man. I wonder who
this Mystery Man is
Shallow: I don't have a clue
[Suddenly, both GP and Shallow look in shock at JT, who for some stupid reason
is wearing a Turban like Johnny Carson's and is holding a card to his head.]
JT: I think .ZOMBIE is the mystery man!
Shallow: Why the hell are you dressing up like Johnny Carson, JT?
JT: I don't know
[JT tosses off his Turban, and GP looks at him.]
GP: Do you always intend to be STUPID your whole life JT, or is this some
complex ploy to rue us?
JT: What the hell did you just say?
GP: Never mind [Sighs]
Shallow: Anyway, GP, mind explaining the rules of this elimination set and
this particular match for the fans out there?
GP: Sure. The set of matches are like this: An Inferno Match against 4
opponents, there is one stipulation to win: Setting one of the men on fire
from WITHIN the ring, and thus eliminating them from the match. As a result of
the bizarre situation that the match requires, it is deemed a No
Disqualification match, assuming you don't touch the fire. Following that, we
will have some intermediate title matches that will determine the competitors
at the 2nd to last match, the #1 Contender match.
JT: So is there Disqualication?
GP: I said no, you idiot!
JT: Fine, be a bastard. See if I care
GP: Then, there is a Hardcore rules match between the three remaining
opponents to determine who will go on to the finals of the series for the
World Heavyweight Championship. I have a feeling that this match will be the
bloodiest match of the night as even though all the matches are no
disqualification, this one will endorse the use of weapons to make the match
more interesting in the eyes of the fans, and therefore cause the most pain
and suffering to the three men involved in it.
JT [Sarcastically] : Isn't that amazing?
GP: I told you to SHUT UP! Now, the final match, the main event, is a Hell in
the Cell match between the finalists in the series for the World Heavyweight
Championship. This means that the winner of the World Title would have 3
victories under his belt as well as the greatest prize in the IWO!
[Shallow looks angrily as JT. Then, Meygon starts to walk down the ramp to the
cheers of some people in the audience, and Meygon starts to climb into the
GP: It appears that the match up will be starting in a few seconds.
JT: Oh! So who NOW is the idiot! OF COURSE it is going to start in a few
seconds, you goofball!
Shallow: Shut up the two of you! I'm trying to pay attention to the match!
GP & JT: OH SHUT YOUR TRAP!
[Meygon takes a mike and speaks into it.]
Meygon: The following match is scheduled as an INFERNO MATCH! Entering first,
he is the reigning Internet Wrestling Organization World Heavyweight Champion.
He hails from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 270 Lbs. He is .PHELEN KELL!
['Sober' by TOOL hits the Arena PA system as Phelen Kell, the reigning IWO
World Champion walked down the Rampway with the World title slung over his
shoulder to a cheering crowd reaction. He climbed into the ring, and removed
his World Title and handed it to the ref as his manager, Harlequin, stood
outisde and awaited his opponents with him. He then raised his arms and
started to get a chant of 'Kell is GREAT! Kell is GREAT!' going, as he awaited
GP: Phelen Kell is the reigning champion, and I think he has a good chance of
winning this match.
Shallow: I think so, too!
JT: Will you both PLEASE shut the hell up?!
Meygon: Entering next, he hails from Seattle, Washington. He is the current #1
Contender for the the IWO World Heavyweight Championship. Weighing in at 265
Lbs., he is SYPHON FISSION!
['Paper Cut' by Linkin Park hits the Arena PA as Syphon Fission hits the
Ringside area with his manager, Quinn Morgan to the Ringside area. He slides
into the ring and the starts to climb turnbuckle, trying to get as many pops
from the fans as possible before the next opponent arrives. The Fans cheer him
and Kell on as they await the 3rd and 4th men ]
GP: Syphon Fission has proved himself before, and even though Phelen will
probably retain the championship, he'll be in the finals of the elimination
series, in my opinion.
JT: GP, we all know how much your opinion is REALLY worth to the millions upon
millions of fans that watch this Pay Per View for the WRESTLERS, NOT your
Shallow: Shut your pie hole, JT!
Meygon: Entering next, he hails from Salem, Massachusetts. He weighs 207 Lbs.,
he is SAMUEL POTRIGHT!
[Sam Potright races down the Rampway to 'Hero of the Day' by Metallica, and
slides into the ring, ready for a fight, as the fans have a negative reaction
to Potrights' arrival, throwing cans in his direction as he headed down the
rampway. He starts to head towards Phelen and Syphon, but the ref stops him
before he can make it. Beth Potright waits outside with the other two managers
as the last man is about to arrive ]
JT: Gee golly whiz, I wonder who this can be?!
GP: Maybe it's a brain for you, you idiot!
JT: I'll shove this mike up you're [BLEEP] you bastard!
Shallow: All right, simmer down you two. Hear comes the last man!
Meygon: Finally, entering the Arena, hailing from Chicago, Illinois, he weighs
in at 330 Lbs. He is the Mystery Man AKA ..MIKE EXTREME!
['The Unforgiven' by Metallica hits the Arena PA as Mike Extreme walks down
the ramp, to the shock of the crowd and announcers. He points a finger at
Phelen Kell and and races down the ramp with an evil grin on his face. He
slides into the ring, and starts pounded away at Phelen Kell with his fists,
sending the veteran into the ropes, and meanwhile, Syphon Fission kicks with
several swift kicks to the gut of Sam Potright.]
JT: Wow! These four men are ready for tonight! They even started the match
before the ropes were ignited!
Shallow: Hopefully Phelen won't be victim to rope burn!
[The Refs shrug and exit the ring. The Head Ref takes out a lighter, and
ignites it. He touches the Kerosene soaked rope and then they suddenly ignite
on fire! Mike is choking Phelen on the ropes, as the fire comes close to
Phelen, but about half a foot away from the fire, Phelen headbutts Mike, and
Mike stumbles back as Phelen gets up in time to miss the fire! Meanwhile, Sam
Potright reversed a roundhouse kick by Syphon Fission, and Syphon hits the
GP: WOW! Phelen Kell almost became the 'dead one' Kell right there!
JT: God, I LOVE Mike Extreme! He's the knifing bastard who enjoys to get the
opponents badly injured! He's the type of man that'll stab you in the heart
and RIP the heart right out and show it to you before you DIE!
Shallow: Geez, you don't have to be so graphic, JT. But Mike Extreme returning
definitely IS a surprise to everyone here tonight, as we expected an older
legend to return and kick some [BLEEP] old school style!
GP: Me too! Too bad Phelen wasn't ready to face Mike Extreme at the start of
the match, or it might have actually be [GASP] EVEN!
JT: Yeah, well, that's Kell's problem!
[Kell looks fazed for a few seconds from the realization of his near death.
Then, he grins, and throws a hard right hook into the gut of Mike Extreme!
Mike keels over, and Kell kneed him on the top of his head to the mat, and the
crowd threw out a great cheer as he performed this! Suddenly, Sam Potright
sneaks up from behind and spears Kell! He charges him towards the ropes, but
about 4 inches away, Kell is able to stop him , and manages to reverse the
spear into a DDT!]
Shallow: WOW! What a great reversal right there and then by the Legend
himself, Phelen Kell! I beat that's going to hurt Potright A WHOLE lot after
this match is said and done with!
GP: Phelen Kell is TRULY a great one! He knows the limitations he and other
people can bear, and yet attempts to surpass this limitations and go to the
JT: Phelen Kell gets too much attention MORE EXTREME!
GP & Shallow: SHUT UP, JT!
[Syphon Fission slowly rises as Phelen Kell attempts to pick him up. Syphon
then low blows Phelen! Syphon grabs Phelen from behind! Side to Back Suplex!
Phelen starts to sporadically shake in pain as Syphon grins and lifts him off
the ground, and into the air to the suprising boos from the crowd, who don't
like seeing two favourites dealing such inhuman pain to one another!]
JT: BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! WE WANT TO SEE BLOOD!
GP: Dear god! Syphon! Why are you doing such horrendous acts?!
[Just as Syphon Fission as about to slam the weakened Phelen Kell into the
mat, Mike Extreme low blows Fission, and the large man drops Kell, and Extreme
puts Syphon Fission's head inbetween his legs! He flips Syphon Fission into
the air, and Powerbombs him onto the hard mat, neck first! The sickening
cracking of bone could be heard throughout the areana!]
JT: PAIN IS GREAT!
GP: Dear lord! Syphon Fission just powerbombed by Mike Extreme with no
regrets, NECK FIRST! Syphon might not be able to continue fighting after that
JT: NO! I WANT TO SEE MORE PAIN!
Shallow: Will you PLEASE SHUT UP?!
[Mike Extreme flips off the fans, and rolls under the ropes carefully.
Suddenly, as he gets up after landing on the floor, he hears a yell and sees
Sam Potright 450 degree splashing his way onto him! Mike Extreme is caught in
the middle of Potright starts to badmouth Extreme as he lifts him up, but
Extreme low blows Potright!]
Shallow: My god .the loss of humanity in this match, for one belt, the IWO
JT: YES! HUMANITY IS BAD! PAIN, BLOOD AND DEATH ARE GOOD!
[Suddenly, JT is smacked by Shallow]
Shallow: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! YOUR REPETITIVE!
[Suddenly, lifts up Potright by the legs and Samoan Drops him! Potright grabs
his back in agony, as Extreme calmly walks over to a stockpile of weapons
neatly placed in one corner of the ring side area. He picks up two objects:
one, a steel chair, and the other, a charge of C4! Mike Extreme grins at
Potright, and drops the chair next to potright, and places the C4 on top of
the chair, to ensure detonation by pressure added below the C4. Mike Extreme
then lifts Potright, and puts his head inbetween his legs! He starts to lift
him put, but Potright reverses, and flips him over, and he lands BACK FIRST on
the C4 and chair! The explosion burns his back, and he rolls around the floor
in agony for several seconds, removing the fire, but by then, he bled
profusely in the back and shoulder area and had many new scar areas!]
GP: Even I have seen too much pain handed to Extreme! Potright, STOP IT BEFORE
EXTREME GETS KILLED!
JT: Go Potright! Potright and Extreme are my heroes, but at the moment
Potright has my immediate support! POTRIGHT FOR PRESIDENT!
Shallow: Why would anyone want to elect Sam Potright to lead this nation?
Aren't we bad off as it is?
JT: Hey! I resent the fact that you call Bush bad!
Shallow: It's just my opinion
JT: And you opinion is uh .STUPID!
Shallow: Great response .
[Potright kicks Extreme several times in the gut as he tries to absorb more
boos and get more 'power' destroying the man who calls himself 'Tha Enforcer'.
Suddenly, Potright is speared from behind by Phelen Kell! Kell, angered at his
injury, then, puts Kell in a Sharpshooter. Potright starts to scream in agony,
as Mike Extreme slowly rises up, and Syphon Fission rolls out of the ring!]
GP: Now all the men are outside the ring! The only way to win the match is to
set the opponent on fire IN the ring!
JT: At least there's no Countouts or DQ's, so Blood and Gore will be a very
nice site here!
[Potright taps out, but cannot submit in the match! Kell laughs and continues
to apply pressure to the greatly weakened and almost unconscious form of
Potright. Extreme sees Syphon, and begs for mercy, and Syphon looks at the
fans. They start chanting 'REVENGE! REVENGE! REVENGE!' and Syphon grins evilly
at Mike Extreme.]
JT: What the hell is Syphon Fission going to do?!
GP: I don't know, but I'm sure Mike Extreme is starting to regret the fact
that he pissed off Syphon Fission! I'm sure of that!
JT: Even more sure than reading a Scandal newspaper?!
GP: Such as ?
JT: Uhh The National Inquirer!
GP: YES I AM SURE!
JT [scared a bit]: ok
[Syphon Fission punches Mike Extreme in the face, and rams his head into the
guardrail! Mike Extreme is busted open in the face and starts to bleed down to
his nose! Fission lifts Extreme up and scoopslams him to the surface of the
ring side area! Then, Syphon looks at the Announcers table, and starts to
drags the prone form of Mike Extreme towards there!]
GP: What is Syphon Fission thinking?!
JT: He's pretty [BLEEP] up if you ask me.
Shallow: The fighting is only going to get more intense!
GP: Your damn right, Shallow!
[Syphon Fission puts Mike Extreme on top of the table and starts to choke him!
Meanwhile, Potright has been able to break free of the Sharpshooter placed on
him by Phelen Kell, and Potright low blows Kell! Kell stumbles to the ground,
and Potright, limps to the Weapons area, and picks up a Kendo Stick/Singapore
Cane! Potright then begins to use the Cane on Kell, and Kell yells in agony as
the fans hate him for attacking Kell while his 'fly was down'. Meanwhile.
Syphon Fission puts Mike Extreme's head inbetween his legs and lifts his
Syphon: Get out of the way if your lives mean anything!
[The 3 Commentators jump out of the Commentator area as Syphon Fission
executes his finisher, the Death Plunge on Mike Extreme! Mike Extreme is out
cold, but unfortunately, Syphon can't pin in this match!]
JT: This match is going all the way to the Extreme! All four of these men have
nearly decimated one another to gain a chance of destroying another member by
fire in the ring!
GP: Wow! The first sensible line JT said all night!
JT: SHUT UP! I LOVED THIS TABLE, AND THAT BASTARD SYPHON FISSION HAD TO GO AND
[Syphon Fission sees Potright and grins. Potright spins around and is running
elbowed by Syphon! He drops his Cane, and hits the burning ropes from his
back, his hair getting set on fire! He rolls on the ground and puts out the
fire, only to receive a Cane blow from Syphon Fission as gratitude for making
it out of that ordeal mostly ok! Syphon then the cane in front of Potrights
neck, shaft end in his neck! Syphon then starts to suffocate Potright, as Mike
Extreme still lays motionless on the remains of the table!]
GP: This is a real bloodbath we are seeing tonight, folks. Each of these men
wants the belt so bad, there willing to risk it all for the love of the gold!
JT: This is how a truly bloody match should be! Even more Extreme than the
Death Match shows in Japan!
GP: Which reminds me, didn't Extreme when he landed on the C4 look like W*ING
Kanemura become powerbombed into the fire pit in the Fire Scramble Death Match
about 5 years ago?
JT: Who in the what now?
GP: Never mind
[Phelen Kell slowly rises as Syphon releases Potright from his cane's grip and
in one swift, powerful, blow is shattered into several pieces and Potright
lies there motionless, and apparently unconcious as Kell stares at Syphon.
Then, Extreme spears Kell from behind and puts him into a Dragon Sleeper
shortly after he is over him! Kell makes his hands into a fist, but Mike
Extreme's Dragon Sleeper is too powerful and he is out like a light.]
GP: Remember, the conditions of the match is the opponent must be set on fire
IN the ring, and any fire wounds outside will not cause the match to end!
JT: Blood, must get blood from Fission!
Shallow: JT, are you a moron?!
JT: Yes .wait! No! I mean yes! I mean STOP ASKING ME HARD QUESTIONS!
[Syphon Fission lifts Potright over his shoulder, and rolls him into the ring.
Potright starts to get up as Syphon Fission slides in, and Potright headbutts
Syphon as he gets up! Potright then elbows Syphon and he gets right next to
the ropes! When he is barely an inch away from the fire, he begins to sweat
heavily, and a drop falls on the fire. The fire suddenly combusts more energy
and grows larger, but Syphon manages to move away at the last second!]
GP: That was a close call!
JT: Damn you fire! DESTROY SYPHON FISSION!
Shallow: That is getting REAL old, JT, you know that?
[Syphon then knees Sam Potright in the gut and uppercuts him to the ground!
Then he lifts Sam and then grins. He does a short dance movement and arches
back, and then does the Super Kick onto Sam Potright! Sam, falling unconcious,
is flung back, into the ropes, and is set ablaze! The bell rings as EMT's race
down the rampway towards the bloodied forms of Phelen Kell, Mike Extreme,
Syphon Fission and the newly eliminated Sam Potright!]
Meygon: Sam Potright has been eliminated! Here are your survivors: Phelen
Kell, Syphon Fission and Mike Extreme!
JT: OH MY GOD! THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!
GP: Dear god! Sam Potright has lost in the first match of the three matches
against his three opponents! May Sam get better after that dangerous move on
him by Syphon Fission!
JT: I'm sure that Sam Potright will be fine, GP
GP: How do you know?
Shallow: Yeah, how do you know that he'll be fine?
JT: Because he's one of my boys, THAT'S HOW!
Shallow: I see
JT: Indeed you should, because I am THE BOMB, and you all are a bunch of
GP: Very intelligent words coming from the man who wore a turban!
[The scene then focuses on Potright being taken away on a gurney to an
awaiting ambulance outside, as Mike and Phelen get some attention, and the
ropes are cooled off. Meanwhile, JT, GP, and Shallow are RELATIVELY calmly
talking about the opening match as men start to work on getting a new
announcers table, and preparing for the next match.]
[As all of that goes on in the ring, the shot cuts to the back were we see a door that says "Jamie Kosoy IWO
President". Then out of nowhere the door opens and out walks IWO world champ Phelen Kell. The fans go nuts as he walks off camera. Then the cameraman walks into the room to see Jamie talking on the phone. As the camera pans around him a man steps infront of the camera and grabs Jamie by his shirt and slaming him to the ground. The camera man tried to pan around to get a shot of the mans face but instead is pushed out of the room by the man as the door is slamed hard.]
GP: Who the hell was that?
JT: Beats me.
Shallow: I only wish I could.
GP: Fans, now our first 8-man Conspiracy Theory match-up of the night is going to occur. As we've been drilling into your head for the past several weeks, the winner of this match will go on to face the winners from the two other Last Man Standing match-ups that are going to take place tongiht,....
Shallow: That's right, and like you siad, Greg,...it's last man standing, and that means that a person is only eliminated when he can't answer the ten count. Then that person is eliminated, and the next person on his team takes his place. This goes on until there is,....well, as the name implies, one man standing!
JT: And, remember, that man not only goes on to the three-way number-one contender match-up, but he also wins the TV title!
GP: ,...but remember, JT, that's only if our current TV Champion Adam Wars doesn't measure up! And judging from his recent outgoing spirit,..
JT: OH, SHUT YOUR HOLE, GREG!
Shallow: Calm down, JT!
JT: You can shut it, too! You guys know that it was only part of our former champ's, Kevin Martin, master plan for Adam Wars to win the belt, so he could bring in hi,..
Shallow: JT, you are so delusional,...
GP: I aggree with you, Mister Shallow.
JT: Well, I don't know what you guys think, but I'm pulling for Shawn Carter!
(Meygon gets into the ring, as the bell is rung once or twice to gather the attention of any fans who have stopped paying attention in the gap between matches.)
Meygon: This next match is part of tonight's CONSPIRACY THEORY GAMES! This match-up is set for a 35-minute time limit, and it is under LAST MAN STANDING RULES! The winner of this match will be declared the new IWO Television Champion and earn a spot in the number-one contender's match to take place later tonight. Introducing,...the first team,...
GP: Here we go,...
(The loud, irritating noise of a classic 80s synthesizer blares throughout the arena, as the following words are heard: "YOU TAKE THE GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD, YOU TAKE THEM BOTH AND THEN YOU HAVE, THE FACTS OF LIFE,....THE FACTS OF LIFE!!" The song continues, as Toodie makes his way down to ringside, with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire (with a picture of Mrs. Garrett from the Facts of Life on it)...)
Shallow: What the hell is up with the bat?
Meygon: Weighing in at 230 pounds,....standing at 6 feet,.....one-half of the tag team "The Facts of Life,"...
(Toodie raises his hands in the air and yells at some fans,...one, which has a sign that says "Toodie is Koko B. Ware" is taken by the infuriated IWO star and torn to pieces. He then gets in the fan's face, and they participate in a shouting match as Meygon finishes his introduction.)
Meygon: he is the master of "Steronucleosis,"....he is,.....TOOODIIIIIIIIIE!
(Toodie finishes his shouting match and gets in the ring, as his next partner's song is heard, "IronMan" by Black Sabbath. Toodie smiles, nodding his head, as Shawn Arrows appears from behind the curtains. Shawn Arrows walks cooly down to ringside, showing no signs of whether the boos of fans are fueling his fire to win or if they are making him anxious.)
GP: That is our former Television Champion, everyone, Shawn Arrows! One from whom we haven't heard plenty from as of late, but we are all still awestruck from his wrestling talent,...
Meygon: Introducing second,.....from Greensboro, North Carolina,...he is the former IWO Television Champion,.... Shawn Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyr-rows!
JT: That's an understatement, Mister Paker,...remember what would be his last T.V. Title defense at Ice Age 3?
(Greg Parker nods.)
JT: Well, while Shawn Arrows may be a stranger to the fans at times with promos, he sure as hell does his talking in the ring no matter which way it goes!
Shallow: I'll have to agree with you,...no matter where this character stands as far as principles and character,...he is one hell of a performer. And he has the talent to go all the way to the top, if he'll only focus it.
(As Arrows gets in the ring, Toodie tries to high five the man, but Arrows just looks at him like he's a psycho,...Shawn paces the ring on the same side in which Tootie is standing, but he leans on the ropes on the corner opposite him.)
GP: It looks like there's already dissention in the ranks of the team which features the challengers to Adam Wars' title,...
JT: And they're so hyped for this match,...I know it, Greg,...I feel it in my bones,..they will not let Adam Wars bring disgrace to the title any longer!
GP: What the hell are you talking about, JT?
JT: You know,...all the disgrace,...and stuff, brought to the,...titl,...nevermind.
Shallow: Unfortunately, not too many people in or associated with the IWO respect this title that Adam Wars holds right now,...
("Fuck them Niggaz" by C-Murder starts to blare throughout the PA system,....and boos are rampant.)
GP: And it has been such a stepping stone for past and present IWO greats,...
Shallow: (focusing on Carter),...oh, man,...we've been hearing it out the wah-zoo from this guy as of late!
(Shawn Carter comes out rolling a baby crib filled with hardcore weaponry,...metal shrapnel,..the metal tips of spades and hoes,....and a Singapore cane. Shawn shows how many bases he has covered when he picks up a large bong from the crib, as he wheels it down to ringside,...he starts making motions with his hands as if he is taking hits off a joint.)
JT: This guy has it made,...
GP: I don't believe I've ever seen someone wheel his or her hardcore weaponry to the ring in a baby crib,...a shopping cart, yes. A garbage can or dumpster,..surely,..but a baby crib?
Shallow: This guy is an IWO original, Greg, so you better get used to it.
Meygon: Next,....form Baltimore, Maryland,...he is known for innovative moves as the Blackout and Purple Haze,...he has infuriated millions and entertained still other millions with his controversial actions,.....he is,..SHAWN CARTER!!
(The fans give a mixed reaction to Shawn Carter,....he wheels the crib down to ringside, and he gets in the ring. Toodie tries to high five him, and Carter complies,...but then,...BLACKOUT!)
JT: OH MY GOD! DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT HE,..
(After Shawn Carter hits his "partner" with his trademark inverted powerbomb, he throws him on the outside of the ring,...where he bumps his head on the baby crib. Toodie, not one to let a bump such as this hold him back, gets back on the apron, but avoids Carter. Carter is now provoking Shawn Arrows by making sexually suggestive motions.)
JT: AND NOW CARTER JUST THREW TOOTIE OUT OF THE RING!
GP: Apparently this fellow is taking no crap from anyone in this match because he wants the TV Title,...
(The lights dim, as "Devil Without a Cause" by Kid Rock plays. The fans,..well, I don't know what the fans do, because the roster page says the fellow who is about to be introduced is face, but everyone else on his team is either heel or neutral. Anyway, Grim Reaper makes his way down to ringside, to a mediocre reaction.)
Shallow: It's a living legend himself,...
JT: More like a homosexual has-been!
Meygon: From Death Valley, California,...he is a former IWO World Heavyweight Champion,....he is GRIM REAPER!
Shallow: (scoffs at JT) For your information, JT, Grim Reaper is a very talented athlete.
JT: If you ask me, so far he's only proven that he shouldn't have decided to "come back."
GP: JT, that's mean.
JT: Oh, fuck you, Parker.
(Greg Parker starts to cry, as Grim Reaper makes his way into the ring and is blindsided by a full beer can,...he turns around and yells at the fans, many of whom join in collective laughter.)
JT: HA HA HA HA!
GP: You're only happy when others are in pain, aren't you, JT?
Shallow: Actually, Greg, that was kind of funny.
Meygon: And from team two,....
(The theme from Saved by the Bell blares throughout the arena, as Scott Morris shows himself at the entranceway. The fans and announcers all laugh at this blunder (and Toodie does, as well,...Carter just chuckles it off), as Scott Morris yells "What the hell?" and walks backstage.)
GP: Okay,..that was IWO legend Scott Morris,...apprently being ribbed by our backstage staff. It's an IWO tradition.
Shallow: But, Greg, don't most IWO wreslters rag each other, and the staff don't get involved?
JT: Just because it's not a tradition doesn't mean it can't be broken!
GP: JT, you are one of the primary catalysts of the decay of our business.
Shallow: Deep stuff, Greg.
GP: Thank you,..
JT: I hate you guys.
Meygon: (noting that Morris has gone away) Next,....
("Loco" by Coal Chamber hits the arena,...Anthony Giorgetti comes to ringside carrying a razor sharp pizza box and holding a six-shooter pistol in hand. He throws the box to the ring,...the wrestlers avoid it as it slices one of the ring ropes and sticks into the announcer's booth, right in front of Johnny Shallow.)
Shallow: HOLY SHIT!
(All the announcers duck under their tables,..the wrestlers at ringside run underneath the ring (Arrows grabs Meygon and pushes her to safety), as "The Extremist" starts shooting his pistol into the air,...then police officers come from the back to take him away,...one hits him with the handle of his gun. Everyone starts returning to where they were previously as things calm down.)
GP: That was,...that was,..
JT: Who'd have thunk it?
GP: The Extremist,...living up to his name, here.
JT: Is he coming back?
Shallow: I sure as hell hope not,..
GP: If he does, who knows what we'll see from him next?
Meygon: (visibly shaken) Finally,...
("Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play once again, as Eric Reed, Shawn Arrows' tag partner, makes his way to ringside.)
Meygon: He is from,...somewhere! He weighs something,...because there is gravity on this planet! He stands,...because he has a spine. He is,.......ERIC REEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
GP: And what an introduction for the man who is the partner of Shawn Arrows.
JT: Yes, you are correct.
Shallow: Did you guys just agree?
JT: (at same time Greg says the above) HELL NO!
(The two look at each other.)
GP and JT: Grrrrrrrrrr,...
("Dragula" by Rob Zombie begins to play over the PA system,..the fans get to their feet to cheer on their Television Champion!! Adam Wars stands in the entranceway for a moment and then runs down to ringside, high fiving fans on the way.)
Meygon: From Port St. Lucie, Florida,...he weighs in at 222 lbs,...standing at 6'1",..he is the current reigning IWO Television Champion,...
GP: This guy is the man, no bones about it,...for the league he's been in lately.
JT: It's time for that little squirt to prove himself, now.
Meygon: ADAM WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!
(Meygon gets out of the ring, as Adam takes off his belt, gives it to the time keeper, and then takes his place with the others on his "team.")
Shallow: Okay,...well, the ref has gotten in the ring now, and he's starting her up!
JT: The first time I've ever heard a match called a "her."
GP: You are so critical,..okay,..the first men in are Eric Reed and Toodie, from The Facts of Life!
THEY LOCK UP! Eric gets the advantage and whips Toodie into the ropes!
JT: (pointing to Toodie's "hardcore" baseball bat) TOODIE! GET YOUR BAT WITH THE PIC OF MISS G ON IT!
Shallow: I have never seen a baseball bat like that in my entire life,..
JT: Toodie flips to the outside,...Reed is following him to each side,..HA HA! INGENIOUS! Eric Reed has just been punched by Shawn Carter! Carter is now in the ring,...but here comes Arrows to the rescue! THIS SUCKS!! WTF?! Arrows puts Carter in the Dragon Sleeper, as his partner recovers!
Shallow: And the ref is calling for Arrows to break this hold,..and he finally does,..but not before Tootie hops back in the ring and begins hitting Reed with that bat! Reed hasn't even had a chance to catch his breath, yet!
GP: That Toodie,..I tell you,..he's a no good son of a piece of white trash.
JT: That's an original.
GP: Toodie, not used to being in such a spotlight,..is taking advantage of this opportunity to bask in its glow! He is up and is posing for the fans, taunting them! They're letting him know what they think!! Ha ha! Even though it is the only state in the union to have legalized prostitution, Nevada still has some smart wrestling fans!
(Eric Reed gets up while Toodie is posing, and is nodding his head to the fans, who cheer him on,...Toodie thinks they're cheering for him,...he is caugh unsuspectingly by Reed and launched into the turnbuckle.)
JT: OH MY GOD! I CAN'T watch!
Shallow: What my colleague refuses to tell you, folks, is that Eric Reed has just hit Toodie with a Stinger Splash! Snapmare takeover from Eric,...
JT: What a bunch of crap,..
GP: He kicks Toodie in the spine! Something's finally going right here! Oh my? What's this? Folks, there is something going on backstage!
(The scene switches to backstage, where Scott Morris has found the tech crew.)
Scott Morris: (enraged) ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! WHO DID IT?! HUH? WAS IT YOU?
(A member of the tech crew freaks out as Scott Morris points his finger at him.)
Tech Crew Member: It wasn't me, honestly!
Scott Morris: Well, I know one of you spineless creeps did, but I got a match to get to, so I'm gonna let it slide.
(Just then, Dennis Haskins, who played Mister Belding on Saved by the Bell walks into the tech crew trailer.)
Dennis Haskins: MORRIS! I WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!
Scott Morris: What the hell?
Dennis Haskins: You heard me! In my office, right now!
Scott Morris: (walking past Belding and out of the tech crew trailer) That does it,..I have no time for this, "Mr. Belding,"...I got to go win the Television Title.
(The scene switches back to the match in progress, where Toodie is twisting Eric Reed's arm, but Eric is getting his second wind as the fans stomp.)
GP: Eric Reed is a fan favorite here tonight. And he's making his way out of the very primitive submission that Toodie has him in,..
JT: I wonder if Eric is related to Donna?
Shallow: *snickers* Well, while I am not a mastermind on Eric Reed's lineage, I can tell that he's regaining the advantage in this match! He flips over, releasing his arm from the pressure Toodie has applied to it, and sweeps him off his feet! Reed picks him up by his hair and punches him several times!
GP: And he sets Toodie up,...Reed hits an Implant DDT! Damn it! That was a horrible angle that Toodie's neck was at when it hit the canvas,...he could be out of it! The ref is starting the ten count!
Ref: One,....... Two,........ Three,........... Four,........... Five,........... Six,........ Seven,.......... Eight,.......... Nine,................. Ten!!
GP: Toodie, frustrated, nonetheless makes his way backstage. And Shawn Carter and Arrows argue over who is to take the place left by one-half of Facts of Life,.....Reed is ready both of them, including his partner. Carter puts his arms up by his side, refusing to enter the ring.
JT: What a bunch of pussies!
Shallow: Hey, where's Grim Reaper?! OH NO!
(Grim Reaper sneaks up behind Eric Reed with a piece of shrapnel from Shawn Carter's baby crib.)
Shawn Carter: Yo, he stole my shit! At least he ain't be messin' wit' my dank, yo!
JT: Well, it seems that Grim Reaper had the element of surprise going,....this time.
Shallow: You're such a whiner, JT. Reed is down,...and Grim Reaper is pounding away at him! Lefts, rights,...kick,...more lefts and rights! Eric Reed is damn well dazed!
GP: That's right,...let's hope that he can pull through it, here,....folks,....I hate to do this again, but it seems that there is still more yet to be seen from,...well, nevermind! Here they are now!!
(Dennis Haskins is chasing Scott Morris, who is walking to ringside to fight in this match-up. Morris has no idea that the actor most renowned for portraying Mister Belding is there, and with a good sized gym locker, as well!)
JT: Here comes Morris,..and Mister Belding's hit him from behind with the locker! He's in Morris's face!
Daniel Hoskins/Mister Belding: See what happens to those who skip class, Scott?! Huh?! You're just like your brother,....
GP: Scott Morris is getting up,..he has Mister Belding by the hair!
Scott Morris: You are one sickening individual,.....(punches Belding, and then looks around)
Shallow: In the ring, Grim Reaper is walking the top rope like the Undertaker!
JT: What a rip-off!
Shallow: But it's getting the job done, JT! He connects with the elbow! He's got Reed up,...he's going for The Death Wish,..it has been too long since we've seen this!
JT: No it hasn't!
Scott Morris: (imitating Paul Newman from Cool Hand Luke, looking into the lifeless face of Mister Belding) It appears that what we have here,...is a failure,...TO COMMUNICATE!
(The fans cheer on Scott Morris, as he powerbombs Dennis Haskins on top of the barricades,....Hoskinds is left of the ground, grabbing his abdomen in pain.)
GP: I think that Mr. Bel,...OH MY! GRIM REAPER HIT IT! THE DEATH WISH!! He's not letting it go at that, either,..
JT: Of course not, he thinks he's the shit,...
GP: I cannot hear you, JT!
JT: I SAID HE THINKS HE'S THE SHIT, BUT HE'S REALLY NO,..
Shallow: Not literally, moron.
JT: Heh heh.
GP: The ref is starting the ten count,.....
Eliminated: Eric Reed.
Shallow: And as Eric Reed makes his way out, Scott Morris has beaten Adam Wars to the ring,....and the Grim Reaper is and Morris are staring each other down. Big difference in stature, there.
GP: Grim Reaper, wasting no time, now, HAS HIS HAND AROUND THE NECK OF SCOTT MORRIS!
JT: Yeah, I bet that's not the only thing he's had his hand around recently,...
Shallow: Ha ha,...well, I think a lotta guys could say that.
JT: Are you implyihng that you're a masturbator?
Shallow: Hell no! I don't do that!
(Grim Reaper connects with the choke slam,..and the ref starts the ten count.)
JT: You don't?
Ref: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! (Morris slowly makes his way up, causing the ref to stop the count)
JT: Ha ha! He does! See?
GP: I'm trying to call a match here, fellas!
Shallow: See? Shut up, JT!
GP: Anyway, Morris, back on his feet, but still dazed! The Grim Reaper is taking it to him,...
JT: Heh heh.
Shallow: First grader.
GP: ,..he's using his size to dominate Morris, here, folks. Things aren't looking too good,...he throws Morris into the ropes, one of which is broken on the given side,...and surpisingly, he bounces back, but with little momentum. Grim Reaper attempts a chlothesline which I've never seen anything like before!! He jumped pretty high, and he's going head first,..but Morris ducks!!
Shallow: Grim Reaper has just hit the ropes, and his "teammates," Arrows and Carter, pull him over! The two men who were at each other's throats earlier are now teaming up on Grim Reaper!
JT: Ain't it great? I didn't know Arrows had so much meanness in him, but I like him even more!
GP: You would,...the two men are taking the shrapnel to the head of the Reaper, slicing him open,...Carter goes searching for something,...OH MY! THE REAPER IS BACK UP! HE'S GOING TO CHOKESLAM ARROWS,...ARROWS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
JT: But here comes Carter with the Singapore cane,.....YES! Reaper let go of Arrows out of surprise,...Shawn Arrows runs out of the way,.....
Shallow: WHAM!!!,....but the Reaper is still into it!! Carter and Arrows start to back away!
GP: Here comes Morris!! He gets on the top turnbuckle and cross-body splash right onto the two Shawn's!!
(All of a sudden, a brick flies out of the audience and hits Grim Reaper in the head,...he gets knocked out. The fans, the butthole ones, laugh.)
JT: (dusting his hands off, walking back to his commentator's seat) HA HA! THAT WAS GREAT!!
Shallow: You did that, JT?
JT: No! Where would I get a brick from!
(All of a sudden, the camera changes angles to reveal a bag of bricks behind JT's spot at the color commentary booth)
JT: HEY! CUT THAT CAMERA OFF! (JT puts the bag of bricks in a fan's lap, who says nothing because he's so shocked,..he then points to the fan) He did it!
(Cop comes and takes the fan away)
Shallow: You're a sick bastard.
GP: Morris is fighting with Carter,...banging his head into the railing,...Mister Arrows is dragging the rather large body of Grim Reaper to the ring, slowly, but to little avail! Carter has just reversed a whip into the ringposts intiated by Scott Morris!
Shallow: Now Carter and Arrows are ignoring Morris,.... and they successfully get Reaper's body into the ring, where the ref starts the ten count.
JT: Ain't it great?
GP: Arrows and Carters are now at their proper places at ringside,...
Ref: One! Two! 3,4,5, (Morris gets up) 6,7,8,9,10!!!
GP: Fans, that was a fast count!
Shallow: What a crock!!
JT: But what the ref says goes!!
Eliminated: Grim Reaper
GP: That was horrible,..but the Reaper is leaving, nonetheless. What a champ.
JT: More like chump.
Shallow: He's been around long enough to accept the fact that you win some and lose others,...
JT: Yeah, and that he's old enough to where he will be losing more than winning,..HA HA!
GP: Anyway, Scott Morris is wobbly,..he's making his way into the ring to the awaiting Shawn Arrows. Arrows whips Morris into the ropes,....knee to the midsection! I don't think Morris is going to last much longer,..
JT: Serves him right for defying Mister Belding!
Shallow: (scoffing) Mister Belding? Give me a break! Dennis Hoskins shows that he is one of the lowest degenerates this side of,....well,...Shawn Carter.
(Arrows continues to dominate Morris,...each time Morris is up, he gets back down,..he hit the ringposts hard when he was on the outside earlier,...)
JT: He was never on this side of the ring.
Shallow: (angered) FUCK OFF!
GP: Guys, calm down! JT, call this match, damn it! You and Shallow make me do all the work!
JT: Umm,....Arrows is dominating, which is cool,...he's working on the neck of Morris now,...elbowing it, kicking it,...now he's applying the dragon sleeper again! THE MAN'S A GENIUS!
Shallow: That is intuitive wrestling, there, like it or not! Arrows, now, wasting no time,...this was the precursor for the Arrow Shot DDT! He sends Scott Morris on a trip into the ropes!! Military Press! DDT!!! Morris will be very lucky if he survived that!
GP: Arrows,...what the hell? He's walking over to Shawn Carter,..and he tagged him in!?
Shallow: Damn, I forgot that people could tag each other in.
JT: I knew that,...and I'm supposed to be the moron of this group! HA HA HA HA HA!
JT: SHIT! YOU HIT WORSE THAN NIKKI!
Shallow: I'm a man, dumbass.
GP: Carter is now in the ring,..but the ref has started the ten count on Morris.
Ref: One,.... Two,.... Three,...... Four,.... Five,.... Six,..... Seven,.... Eight,.......................................................... ................................................................ ........................................................................ Nine!............................................................... ................................................................................. TEN!!
Eliminated: Scott Morris
JT: Oh yeah, I forgot that I can hit men back, Shallow! (SMACKITY BITCH HO SLAP SMACKITY WACKITY ALL IN HIS FACULTIES!)
Shallow: (unconscious) ,...........
GP: That's a hell of a showing from Scott Morris,...
GP: Okay, now Scott's still in the ring, and here comes our champion, Adam Wars!!
JT: That weiner, waiting until the last minute to come in!!
GP: Well, I don't know about that,...it seems that our wrestlers have just forgotten that under Conspiracy Theory Rules, tags are completely legal,...
JT: HA HA HA HA! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYONE FORGOT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
GP: Anyway,...it's Wars and Carter,.....and,...CARTER'S RUNNING AWAY?!
JT: Heh heh,..he's out at ringside,...pillaging through his hardcore weaponry,..
Shallow: (waking up) Hunh? Wha?
JT: What the hell?
GP: And Arrows is down,...Wars is staying in the ring,...Arrows is apparently going to try to mess up Shawn Carter! OH NO!
Shallow: (still waking up) That hurt like a bitch.
JT: Ha ha.
GP: IT'S THE HUMAN BLUNT! T.H.B. HAS MADE HIS WAY DOWN TO THE RING, AND HE'S GOT A GIANT BONG!! HE TAPS ARROWS ON THE SHOULDER!
Shallow: I'll get you back, you sorry, dirty S.O.B.
JT: Ha ha.
(Shallow scorns JT)
GP: AND ARROWS TURNS AROUND,...
Shallow: What's this? Carter has a giant bong too! The one we saw earlier! He picks it up,...he and T.H.B. both swing back at the same time,..and THEY CONNECT!! BONG-CER-TO!!
GP: My God, Johnny Shallow, you have just appropriately named a new move.
Shallow: Thank you.
JT: Big f'n deal!
Shallow: You're just jealous!
(JT sticks his tongue out at Shallow, who punches him. JT is now unconscious.)
GP: Okay,..Adam Wars is now trying to get out to assist the downed Arrows. T.H.B. is running backstage,...Carter has that broken bong and sticks it in the face of WARS!
Shallow: Poor Adam Wars,...he should receive a damned Extreme Title shot for all the shit he's gone through at the IWO PPVs which he has participated in.
GP: That's right, Johnny.
Shallow: Carter now thinks he has now need for the bong, so he throws it out! Wars has blood dripping into those eyes of his,...so he's swiping for Carter but can't find him! Carter looks around,...what could he be thinking?
(The fans start to boo Shawn Carter)
JT: Hunh? Aww, damn,...that's the last time I punch a guy and not run away afterward.
GP: You resemble those for whom you cheer, JT.
JT: Screw you.
GP: Carter is out of the ring! He has grabbed the body of Shawn Arrows,...and drapes him over those two ring ropes,..
Shallow: There are only two because of that damn Extremist. **Shudder**
JT: Did he think this was some sort of mafia movie or some shit?
GP: Wars is reaching in the wrong direction,..the ref is urging Carter not to tag in the unconscious Arrows, but he does anyway! DAMN HIM! He brings in Arrows,..and he's moving Arrows' body around like a puppet, 'cuz Shawn Arrows is finally coming to!
JT: What the hell? It seems that Scott Morris is just now coming to and walking away. HA HA! WHAT A LOSER!
Shallow: You are so disrespectful, JT, no matter what side a wrestler fights for. Arrows taps Wars on the back of the head,...Wars, still blinded, wastes no time!! He immediately kicks Arrows in the groin!!
GP: Carter's heading back outside the ring, finally complying to the ref's wishes.
Shallow: POWERBOMB FROM WARS!!
JT: What a bunch of crap.
GP: But what is Wars doing? He can see now, it seems.
Shallow: Shawn Carter has his back turned form the audience, folks,...and Adam Wars is puppeteering Arrows's body, like Carter did earlier!
GP: The ref is trying to get him to let go, but Wars is headstrong! He is truly afraid of no challenge, guys!
JT: That remains to be seen,...the two guys he's in the ring with now have seen action earlier in this match, but Wars has been a total puss,..
GP: WATCH IT, JT!
Shallow: Wars has just used Arrows's hand to tag in Carter! BUT HOW THE HELL COULD HE HAVE KNOWN!
JT: That's what I'm saying,...HOW THE HELL COULD HE HAVE KNOWN THAT CARTER USED THAT SAME MANEUVER EARLIER!
GP: Ha ha,...I guess the lucky ones to interview Adam Wars after this match will be the ones to know the answer to that question,...Carter is shocked,...appalled, even!
Shallow: Wars backs up, and Carter charges him like a damn torro loco!!
JT: Como esta, senor Shallow? Heh heh.
Shallow: Shut your damn mouth,...
JT: Has Arrows just come to? By george, he has!
GP: Wars has just leapfrogged Carter,...Carter turns around,...Wars with a punch to the gut! Carter is out of wind,...he's hunched over! WARS WITH A TORNADO DDT!!! CARTER IS OUT! WARS IS GOING UP NORTH!! TURN THE TIDES!! OH HELL FREAKIN' YEAH!! THE TV CHAMP ISN'T GOING WITHOUT A FIGHT!
Shallow: It's ten count time!!
JT: DAMN IT!
Ref: (fans count along) One.......................................... Two......................... Three.................................................. Four.................................................. Five................................................. .Six........................................................................... Seven.................................................. Eight.................................................. Nine!..................................................... ............................................................................ Ten!!
Eliminated: Shawn Carter.
GP: Now it's Arrows and Wars!!
Shallow: Arrows gets into the ring,..and immediately these fellows exchange blows. Arrows with an atomic dop! He gets Wars on the ground and applies a Texas Cloverleaf!
JT: Why the hell is he using submissions?!
GP: To weaken Wars's knee, dipshit.
GP: Okay,...here it goes! Wars has gotten to the ropes,...Arrows breaks the hold! Arrows walks to the side of the ring, waiting for his opponent to regain strength.
Shallow: But what's this?! Shawn Carter, enraged from his defeat at the hands of Adam Wars, has his damn baby crib lifted above his head and is on the apron!
JT: That looks seriously fucked up.
(Carter brings the crib down on Adam Wars,...the TV champ is know down and out,...the ref is giving Carter some serious shit. A bunch of refs come down to ringside along with security guards to take Carter away, so he can no longer interfere in the match.)
GP: DAMN IT! DAMN THAT POT SMOKING HEATHEN!! PEOPLE LIKE THAT ALWAYS DON'T CARE FOR WHAT THE FANS AND OUR OWN ENTERTAINERS WANT,.....THEY JUST LOOK OUT FOR NUMBER ONE! SHAWN CARTER IS VERY DISGUSTING.
JT: That's the way it goes, GP,..don't give us an f'n lecture.
(Arrows, who has noticed during the commotion, takes a look at Adam Wars and turns away,...he sits in the corner, waiting for the ref to start the ten count.)
GP: THE FANS ARE OUTRAGED, DAMN IT! And Arrows is going to ride his way to fame with the TV Title,...damn him!!
Ref: One! ................................................ ............................................................................. Two!!......................................................... .................................................................... Three!!........................................................ ................... Four!........................................................................... Five!........................................................................... Six!........................................................................... Seven!
Shallow: Wait a second,...Arrows is walking toward Wars,...
GP: Arrows is,...
JT: Setting Wars up on the turnbuckle?! WHAT THE? I THOUGHT THIS GUY KNEW HOW TO WIN MATCHES!?
(Arrows then sets himself down on the apron, as Wars slowly regains consciousness.)
GP: Apparently such a victory would have been bitter-sweet for Shawn Arrows,...
Shallow: Here we go again!
Ref: One.................................................................................................... Two.................................................................................................... Three........................................................................... Four.................................................................................................... Five........................................................................... Six............................................................................................................................. Seven........................................................................... Eight........................................................................... Nine.................................................................................................... TEN!!!
Eliminated (by himself): Shawn Arrows
(The ref rings the bell, and Shawn Arrows gets up, walking to the back,...the fans start cheering immediately,....the ref hands Wars the title, jarring him back to life. "Dragula" by Rob Zombie starts to burst through the speakers at the Grand, as Adam Wars holds up the title.)
Meygon: Your winner,...the last man standing, still TV Champion,......and proceeding to tonight's number one contender's match!! ADAAAAAAAAAAM WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!!
(Adam Wars listens to the ref as he whispers something to him,....he then grabs a mic and begins to talk.)
Adam Wars: Shawn Arrows,....that was damn cool what you just did,..but I don't want any handouts. Tomorrow night or Friday night,..it's your choice,...TV Title on the line,..you and me,..in the ring,..it's up to you.
GP: That is what the heart of a champion is like, folks.
(Suddenly, Shawn Arrows comes over the Jumbo-tron.)
Shawn Arrows: Adam Wars, don't think I did what I did just so you could become number one contendor. I have much larger things in my sight than your pitiful TV Title. I know how good I am, and you're just a speck compared to me. I can get another match just as easy, my friend,....so don't think you have a pal, now,.....if you do,...prepare to be blindsided by reality!!
(The tron cuts off.)
Shallow: That was damn creepy.
JT: That was damn cool!
GP: Shawn Arrows has just refused the rematch offer from our TV Champion Adam Wars,...and Adam is now leaving the ring, quite confused. Well, folks,..I've been informed that Shawn Carter is being taken away from the building,......let's see what this is all about.
(The scene changes to outside the MGM Grand, where Shawn Carter is being taken away by the cops. One of them is holding a sack of Marijauana in his hand.)
Officer: And what exactly do you have to say about this, Mister Carter?
Shawn Carter: Snootchie Bootchies?!
Officer: Wrong answer.
(The officer cuffs Shawn Carter and forces him into the back of the cop car. The scene fades back into the arena.)
JT: Always knew it would catch up with him.
Shallow: Crazy pot-smokin' dude.
JT: Anyway, folks, our next match
GP: Well, we're up to the 8 man tag-team match up. This is for the IC Tag-Team
Titles. This will be in the form of a Battle Royale with a team being
eliminated if one of the members is pinned.
JT: This match better be a kick [BLEEP] match, or I'm leaving!
Shallow: Your not leaving if you want to keep your job!
JT: Oh ok.
Meygon: Entering first, they are the current Internet Wrestling Organization
IC Tag-Team Champions. They are .GUNNAR SMITH AND SAMUEL POTRIGHT!
[Gunnar Smith and Sam Potright head to ringside, Potright sill injured from
his first match earlier tonight, with some new scars on his arms and body. He
limps into the ring, and Gunnar Smith raises the top rope for him as a gesture
of courtesy. The fans, mostly booing, await the new team.]
JT: The champs are going to keep the belts, I can feel that already!
GP: I also see that they are unworthy of such a belt, and will lose it
JT: Yeah, right. And pigs fly!
Meygon: Entering next, they are one of the challengers, welcome with with me
Cyanide and Angry Johnson ..BASTARDS INC.!
[The fans start to cheer as Cyanide and Joe Johnson walk down the ramp,
pointing their fingers at the IC Tag-Team Champs, indicating that they want
the belts that the tag-team champs have around there waist! The fans cheer as
they slide into the ring, but boo as their blocked by the ref from attacking!]
GP: These two seem like a shoe in for the titles!
JT: I doubt it! One of them is called Cyanide for crying out loud! Cyanide is
a poison, so I think he's going to kill himself and get his team removed from
GP: Your obviously a moron, JT.
JT: NO I'M NOT!
Meygon: Entering next, they are one of the challengers, welcome with me
Nicholas Kain and Kory Flare, the .ENEMIES OF THE STATE!
[Kain and Flare walk down the ramp to the cheers of the crowd and absorb into
their cheering to 'strengthen' themselves. They see the other opponents, and
grin as they climb into the ring, and take in some more cheers from the
Shallow: I think Enemies of the State has a good chance of winning this match!
JT: No! Because .uh .
Shallow: Because what?
JT: BECAUSE THEIR IDIOTS!
GP: That's what you always say, JT
JT: Well, it's true
Meygon: And welcome with me, the final opponents in this contest! They are
Ryan and Jeff King, the SUICIDE KINGS!
[A mixed reaction comes from the crowd as Ryan and Jeff King race down the
rampway and slide into the ring! They then hear the bell rings and Ryan spears
Cyanide while Jeff takes right and left hooking Kory Flare! Meanwhile, Gunnar
Smith takes on Angry Johnson with several forearms, and Nicholas Kain
headbutts the weakened Potright!]
GP: The war has just begun!
JT: This will be the bloodiest fight I've ever seen, I guarantee it!
GP: You ALWAYS guarantee it! Stop making false promises!
[Cyanide eye rakes Ryan King as is above him and reaches down to lift him up!
Ryan King then stumbles back in pain as Cyanide kicks him in the gut!
Meanwhile, Gunnar Smith is elbowed in the face by Angry Johnson, and then
facebusted by Angry Johnson! Angry goes for the pin!]
Ref: 1 2
[Gunnar kicks out of the pin at the last second!]
GP: Gunnar Smith nearly pinned by Angry Johnson! Angry sure is showing why
he's called that tonight in Las Vegas!
JT: This means NOTHING! Gunnar Smith is just coaxing him into making a
mistake! Yeah, that's it!
GP: You must REALLY be an idiot, JT!
JT: Yes I am! I mean no!
GP: The sign of true moron
[Nicholas Kain kicks Potright in the gut, and bashes his head against the
Turnbuckle! Potrights recently stitched up forehead busts open again, and
Potright starts to bleed profusely! Kain roundhouse kicks him out of the ring,
and climbs the turnbuckle! Then, Gunnar smith manages to Low Blow Angry
Johnson, and pulls on the top rope, making Kain land on his crotch! Kain sits
in agony as Jeff King receive a boot to the face by Kory Flare! Ryan then has
his head placed in between Cyanide's legs and Cyanide performs a Piledriver on
Ryan King! Cyanide goes for the cover!]
[Ryan King kicks out of the pin!]
Shallow: Ryan King is an amazing competitor tonight!
GP: I know he is! He is doing a fantastic job getting out the pins!
JT: Ryan King is an airhead!
Shallow & GP: SHUT UP JT!
[Sam Potright climbs the turnbuckle after getting back into the ring, and
lifts up Nicholas Kain! Superplex! Potright and Kain both lay in the middle of
the ring, near unctuousness, and then Angry Johnson pins Potright!]
Ref: 1 2
[Gunnar Smith breaks up the pinfall!]
GP: Near pinfall by Angry Johnson onto Potright! If Gunnar didn't save
Potright, I doubt they would have lasted any longer!
JT: I'm sure Potright was trying to use that as a ploy!
GP: How many times do we need to tell you to shut the hell up you idiot!
JT: About a gazillion
[GP rolls his eyes. Then, Gunnar Smith lifts Angry Johnson, and performs a
side to back suplex on him! Ryan King suddenly performs a 450 splash onto
Gunnar, having climbed the turnbuckle while Cyanide was taking on Jeff King,
Ref: 1 2 3!
[The Bell Rings and Gunnar and Potright roll out of the ring, and the final 6
men remain to continue the contest!]
GP: Wow! Gunnar and Potright have just been eliminated! Guess we won't be
seeing them for a while!
JT: Well now, I wouldn't necessarily say that
Shallow: Shut your trap, JT! EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS INCOHERENT!
[The fans cheer at this statement and JT starts to turn red with rage.]
JT: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME?!
Shallow: Your too stupid to realize potential, and instead focus on whether or
not they look cool!
[Meanwhile, Jeff King grabs Cyanide from behind and does a Small Package!]
Ref: 1 2
[Cyanide kicks out at last second! Meanwhile, Ryan King and Angry Johnson team
up to take on a injured Nicholas Kain! They lift Kain into the air, and then
Double Powerbomb him to the mat, knocking him out cold! Angry Johnson then
goes for the pin! However, the ref pulls off Johnson when he realizes that
Kains arm was touching the ropes! Johnson gets enraged, and this distraction
allows Ryan King to grab Angry Johnson from behind and German Suplex him!]
Ref: 1 2 .
[Angry Johnson manages to break out of the pin at the last second!]
GP: Near fall there, and Angry Johnson breaks out of the pin!
JT: I guess I should side with the Suicide Kings now. GO JEFF AND RYAN!
Shallow: Hey! That's MY boys!
JT: Do you want to take this outside?!
[Shallow grins evilly and JT gulps.]
JT: Uh .never mind.
[Angry Johnson looks at Ryan angrily, and then forearms him in the face! The
fans start to cheer, and Johnson continues his barrage of blows, until Ryan
King is tied into the ropes! Angry Johnson then does a strong right hook,
knocking Ryan King out of the ring! The fans cheer until they see Kory Flare
small package Angry Johnson!]
Ref: 1 2
[Angry Johnson breaks out of the pin!]
JT: DAMN that was close!
Shallow: This match is now starting to even out once again!
GP: Yeah! After that 4th team, Gunnar Smith and Sam Potright, were eliminated,
it made pinning one another harder, as there always was a third guy willing to
break it up!
JT: I hope we get to see lots of action like this throughout the rest of
[Angry Johnson eye rakes Kory Flare, and puts his head under his arm! DDT!
Kory Flare is out! Angry Johnson goes for the pin!]
Ref: 1 2
[Nicholas Kain breaks the count up!]
GP: Phew! Close call there by Nicholas Kain who stopped his eminent end at the
JT: Damn you Kain! You shall pay dearly!
GP: Hey, the Enemies of the State are the fans #1 team, so leave them be!
JT: Fine for the fans
[Suddenly, Kain lifts up Angry Johnson and Kory Flare gets up to! Then, they
lift him onto the turnbuckle top, and Kain goes up with him! They then prepare
for the next devastating move!]
JT: What the hell are those two EOTS guys planning to do to Angry Johnson?!
GP: Who knows?!
Shallow: I DON'T!
[Kain then performs a top turnbuckle Tiger Driver and pins Angry Johnson as
Kory Flare forearms Cyanide out of the ring!]
Ref: 1 2 3! [Bell Rings]
[Angry Johnson is rolled out of the ring and Cyanide and Angry Johnson are
escorted out of the ringside area, to their locker rooms. Meanwhile, Kain and
Kory stare at Jeff and Ryan with evil intents. Kain and Kory suddenly race
towards Jeff King, who is near the ropes! They double clothesline him off!]
GP: Oh my
JT: Bastards Inc. has been eliminated, and only two teams stand of the
original four! What can happen next?!
Shallow: A lot!
[Ryan King attacks Kain from behind, but Kory Flare grabs him from behind!
Side to Back suplex! Kory goes to finish the job!]
[Ryan King kicks out quickly, and starts to rise up, low blowing Kory Flare!
Ryan then forearms Kain, who is pulled out of the ring by Jeff King!]
GP: The war continues on as the Suicide Kings manage to separate the EOTS!
JT: That's great to hear
Shallow: Isn't it?
JT: Not really
Shallow: Well, we didn't ask for your opinion, you idiot.
[Jeff King lifts up Nicholas Kain, and Irish Whips him towards the backstage
area, while Ryan and Kory follow the other two in pursuit, steal exchanging
blows with one another on their way out of the Ring and Ringside Area! Kory,
at one point manages to grabs Ryan and full Body Slams him to the hard rampway
surface! The fans cheer at this, and Kory races up the rampway in pursuit of
Jeff and his partner, while Ryan slowly and groggily rises up.]
JT: Their going backstage!
GP: Yes they are!
[The cameras change to the immediate backstage area, where tables and chairs
are lined up, with some beverages and refreshments lying around. However, the
group of four don't care, and Jeff King tosses Kain onto a table! He then
takes a chair and raises it above his head, intended to maim Kain with it!
Suddenly, Kory spears him, knocking the chair out of his hands!]
GP: The fight is getting ever more intense with time!
JT: I feel the desire for Blood RISING!
Shallow: Shut up with that, will you?!
JT [Sulking]: Fine
[Ryan King stumbles into the backstage area, and Kain knocks him down with a
vicious clothesline! Then, Kane starts dragging Ryan towards a door labeled
'Parking Lot', and Jeff King sees Ryan is in trouble, and low blows Kory,
running away from him!]
Shallow: Why the hell are they running into the parking lot?!
JT: Maybe Kain forgot to turn off his cars' alarm?
GP: Don't be an idiot!
Shallow: TOO LATE!
[The camera suddenly switches to inside the Arena parking lot, and Jeff King
looks around for his brother and Kain, and spots them on top of a truck! There
is a ladder on the side of the truck, and Jeff begins to climb it! Suddenly,
Kory Flare rams himself into the ladder, and Jeff falls first, hitting the
ground, his legs injured and bleeding from the force of the ladder collapsing
on him! Then, Kain is seen on the top of the truck, preparing for a
JT: OH NO!
GP: DON'T DO IT!
Shallow: DON'T BE A FOOL, KAIN!
[Kain laughs and flips Ryan King over his head! Kain then Powerbombs him off
of the truck, but he slips on a slippery part of the truck, and flies off! He
crash lands on his partner, Kory Flare! All four men lie on the floor,
GP: What a suicidal move we've just seen by Nicholas Kain, one of most
dangerous men I've ever seen in my time in IWO!
JT: I think that Kain just broke new boundaries IN THE LIMITS OF UTTER
Shallow: I think Kain did it intentionally, so that no one would win!
JT: Why the hell would he do that?!
Shallow: I don't know, but it seems like something a psychotic person would
[The Ref comes and looks at all four of them. He begins a count to determine
if the match will end with a TKO or not.]
[Still no movement]
[Still no movement]
[Suddenly, Kain starts to twitch as Ryan starts to hold his head]
[Kain begins to move a finger as Ryan starts to shake his head]
[Kain attempts to get to his feet using the ropes as does Ryan]
[Kain gets to the 2ed rope as Ryan gets to his knees.]
[Kain falls back down as the fans start to go nuts]
[Ryan King is on his feet!!!!]
[The bell in the ring is heard and then Meygon enters the Ring, mike in hand.]
Meygon: Here are your winners...AND NEW!!!!!!! IWO IC Tag champs.....THE SUICIDE KINGS!!!
JT: Kain nearly sacrificed his life to get revenge on the Kings.
Shallow: And what a match this ended up becoming!
GP: No one expected him to do that, and yet he pulled the strength necessary
to do it with the greatest of ease, and apparently never looked back!
[EMT's begin to arrive in the Parking Lot and began to put all four men on the
emergency gurneys and took them about 30 feet to awaiting ambulances. The
Parking Lot scene came to a close with a close up of Kain grinning in
unconciousness, blood soaked as he perhaps knew that the belt would be decided
on at another time, with the Enemies of the State on one side, and the Suicide
Kings on the other.]
[The scene cuts to the back were we see Jamies door again and this time yelling and screaming can be heared.]
Voice: SIGN IT!!!
Voice: SIGN THE DAMN THING!!!
[The scene cuts back to the ring]
GP: Who the hell is doing this to Jamie...we need to get people back there and stop this.
JT: I kinda like it!
Shallow: Me too.
GP: Now we have probably the best match tonight coming up! The Returning Mike Extreme managed to move on in this Pay Per View and will now get his shot to stay in again and go to the world title match!Syphon Fission also managed to stay alive in that match and he will try to move on to a World Title shot that so many people feel he deserves. And Phelen Kell "The Legend" has come this far to retain his title, will he be able to keep it up? Well one can only wait and see. Now let's go to Meygon for the entrances!
Meygon: Ladies and Gentleman this Hardcore match is set for ONE FALL! And it is for a shot at the INTERNET WRSTLING ORGANIZATIONS WORLD HEAVYWIEGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first Weighing in at 340 punds, he is from Chicago Illnois. He IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE EXTREEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!!!!!
(Mike Extreme walks out as South Of heaven begins to play. The fans give him a huge pop as he walks to the ring and waits his opponents.)
Meygon: And his opponent, Wieghing in at 265 pounds! From Seeatle Washington! MAN-O-WAR! SYPHON FISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Paper Cut begins to play as Syphon runs to the ring and immediatly starts brawling with Mike Extreme.)
JT: There not waiting for Kell to get out here! But that may be a mistake on Syphon's part. Mike seems to have the power advantage and knocks down Syphon Fission. Syphon pops back up and is taken down again with a huge right hand. Syphon is up again! This time he ducks the right hand and knees Mike in the back.
Shallow: Syphon hits a reverse DDT. Syphon in control now picks up Mike, but Mike slaps his hands away and nails another right hand on Syphon. Mike now pounding Syphon with right hands. Syphon stumbles back into the croner where Extreme continues to pound on him!
GP: Syphon better get out of that corner. Mike now going to the opposite corner. He runs at Syphon and Syphon explodes out of the corner with a HUGE spear! Man what impact!
(Tool then hits the PA as the fans get to ther feet and Phelen Kell runs down to the ring with his World Title.)
GP: HERE HE IS! The Legend is in the ring and he takes out Mike with that belt. Phelen drops the belt now. Syphon stumbles toward him, Kell grabs him and Downward Spiral! Right onto the belt! Kell with an early cover 1...2...no! Syphon doesn't want his world title hopes to go away that easy he came here to fight!
JT: Mike now grabs Kell for a german suplex, NO Kell hits a low blow! Kell turns and grabs Mike by the hair, FACEBUSTER! Kell is really on fire right now. Kell sets up Syphon for a piledriver. No Syphon counters with a back drop. OH MAN! Syphon is met with a huge boot to the face by Mike Extreme! Extreme looks to be setting up for the Burning hammer now! NO Syphon flips out of it and is beside Exteme. Front Russian Leg Sweep on Extreme! Wait kell has Syphon now! Steel Rain! He nails it! The Cover 1...2...no the ref says Syphons foot is under the rope. Kell now seems to be setting up for another Steel Rain! NO! Syphon shifts his body wieght and bulldogs Kell! Kell trying to get up now, no flowing DDT to Kell. Syphon now going to the ouside. He goes under the ring and comes up with a table. Syphon now setting it up on the outside, Syphon going in the ring, but he is cut off by Extreme, Extreme sets Syphon up and Powerbombs him hard to the mat. Extreme now setting up for another. He has Syphon up. He is goig to powerbomb him out of the ring and through that table! Wait here comes Kell! Cross body! All three men tumble over the top rope and through the table!!!
GP: Well this is a hardcore match, and I can garuentee that this won't be the last time we see something like that happening. Kell and Syphon are the first to get up. Now they are in a punching battle. Kell throws a right hand and nails Syphon! Syphon fires back with a right of his own! Kell now with a boot to the mid-section and DDT on the remaing peice of the table! Kell now sees Extreme is up and hurt. He is signaling for it! This could be another Steel Rain! NO! Kell hurt his back trying to get the big three hundred pound Extreme up!
Shallow: Extreme now taking full advantage of it. He takes Kell and whips him into the steel railing. Extreme gets a chair and charges at Kell. Kell gets his foot up and the chair smashes into Extreme's face! Extreme turns around and is met with a superkick by Syphon Fission! Kell jumps on Extreme for the cover! 1...2...no! Extreme won't stay down!
GP: Kell now getting another table, which take up about thirty percent of IWO's budget. Kell sets up Mike at the edge of the ring apron, Kell is on the outside turnbuckle! Tornado DDT to the outside through a table! Kell seemed to hurt himself on that move. Syphon picks up Kell and throws him into the ring. Syphon waits for Kell to get up and hits him with a knee to the mid-section. Kell gets back up and is met with another. Syphon now has Kell right where he wants him Syphon now throws kell off the ropes and goes for another knee, but no. Kell flips around and rolls up Syphon! 1....2....no! Kickout by Syphon. Syphon pops back up and takes Kell down with a huge Clothesline. Extreme is back now and he's got something in his hand! IT'S A SINK! A mettle kitchen sink! He smashes it on Syphons head, he nails Kell with it! Extreme now picking up Syphon. Double underhook slam onto the sink. He whips Kell off the ropes and hits a spine buster on the sink!
JT: Syphon IS BLEEDING!!!!!!!!!!!
GP: Syphon in the corner now. Extreme goes for a spear but Syphon moves and Extreme's shoulder hits the turnbuckle. Syphon turns him around and executes a perfect pulling piledriver. Syphon picks up Extreme and throws him into the corner. Kell is getting up Syphon runs over and hits him with a forearm. Extreme runs at Syphon now. Syphon leap frogs over him. Extreme takes down Kell with a clothesline and turns around only to be met by Syphon. Syphon goes for a back body drop. No wait he keeps Extreme on his back AND REVERSE MICHINOKU DRIVE!(aka Kryptonite Krusher) on the sink! 1...2...no! Extreme kicks out! Syphon seems fed up now. He is going to the outside. He get's A LADDER! Syphon now gets back in the ring and picks up the ladder waiting for Extreme to get up. Extreme is up and quickly dropkicks the ladder into Syphon Fission! Extreme picking up Syphon now. No Kell dropkicks Extreme and he sandwitches Syphon in the corner! Kell Now goes to the outside! He gets yet another table. Reverse DDT on Extreme Kell now setting up the table. He puts Syphon on it and Extreme over him! Kell sets up the ladder! He is going up top! Looks like a moonsault!Wait Extreme is up he's climbing the LADDER! He elbows Kell in the back! Now it looks like! BURNING HAMMER OFF THE TOP! They just landed through the table and ontop of Syphon. All three men are down! The ref is checking on them.
REF: They don't seem dead. Ok keep it going.
(twenty second elapse)
GP: Extreme now draps an arm over KELL! 1....2....no!!!!!!!! KELL KICKS OUT! This is amazing! Extreme now slowly getting up! He picks up Syphon. NO Low blow by Syphon! Wait he's setting it up! Death Plunge! He hit it! Extreme though rolls out of the ring and to the floor! Syphon is about to go after him but Kell hits him in the back. Kell goes for a back body suplex but Syphon flips over. Kell kicks back and hits Syphon in the mid-section! Kell turns and NAILS A Underarm Powerbomb!(Sky High). Kell with the cover 1...2...no! Kickout by Syphon. Kell picks Syphon up and whips him off the ropes. Syphon ducks a clothesline and comes back and Kell with a quick belly to belly suplex! Kell now quickly goes to Syphons legs and MALACIOUS INTENT! He has it hooked! Syphon is hooked and there is no way out!
JT: Kell seems to not be letting him move at all. Syphon is trying to get to the ropes but he is planted in the middle of the ring! Syphon can't get out!
Shallow: WAIT!!! Look.....Extreme is back up and has....has.....THE RING BELL! He is on the top ropes. He jumps high off the ropes AND NAILS KELL IN THE GUT WITH THE BELL! Kell roles over to his side holding his Gut as Extreme makes the cover.
GP: HE KICKED OUT!!! Kell Kicked out!
JT: Extreme gets to his feet and turns around to see Syphon getting up. Extreme runs over and nails Syphon in the gut! Syphon goes back down as Extreme yells at the fans. He has controle over this match!
GP: He does......Extreme now walks over to Kell and picks him up. He sends Kell into the ropes NO!! Kell turns it around...SPINE BUSTER!!!! BUT KELL CANT MAKE THE PIN!!
Shallow: Syphon is up and is on the outside of the ring. He is grabing two chairs! He tosses them both into the ring as the fans go nuts!
GP: HE IS HELPING KELL UP!!! WHAT THE HELL!
JT: Kell is too his feet as he picks up one of the chairs! SYPHON AND KELL ARE TEAMING UP!
GP: There standing on either side of Extreme as Mike is slowly getting to his feet!
JT: NO MIKE WATCH OUT!! NO!!
GP and Shallow: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Kell and Syphon nail Extreme with the chairs at the sametime smashing his head!! Extreme is out cold as the fans go nuts]
JT: MY GOD!!!
GP: Syphon and Kall both go down for the pin...THERE PINNING HIM AT THE SAME TIME!! 1..................................................
DING DING DING!!
GP: WE HAVE ARE MAINEVENT!!!! SYPHON AND KELL ONE ON ONE IN A HELL IN THE CELL!!!!
Meygon: Here is your winners: Phelen Kell and SYPHON FISSION!
[As the fans go nuts both Kell and Syphon drop the chairs and get into a stairing contest. Kell says something as Syphon says something. Now both men get right up in each others face]
GP: THE CT MAINEVENT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!
[Before anyone could hit the other one the refs hit the ring breaking both men apart.]
Shallow: WHAT A MATCH!! AND THERE IS ONE MORE OF THESE LEFT!
(It cuts backstage to the wrestlers locker room. Angry Johnson has just
entered the locker room.)
Angry Johnson - Yo, Cyanide...I've got an idea for a great action sequence
for a movie...There's thig guy with a parachute and he's flying above a
(He looks up, and Cyanide is nowhere to be seen. Instead there is a group of
men in black suits and shades in the locker room.)
Angry Johnson - ...Uh oh...
(He turns to run, but the group of men catch him and beat him down to the
Man #1 - What the?
(He notices the camera man, and walks up to him. The screen shakes as they
struggle, before the camera falls to the ground and goes static. It cuts
back to ringside.)
GP: Ladies and gentlemen, that was recorded just moments ago, and from what
I've heard from my sources backstage, Cyanide and Angry Johnson have now
gone missing, and no trace of those other men has been found. We've got
security searching backstage as we speak though, and we'll update you on the
situation as we get information through the headsets.
("Loco[Snow Edit]" by Coal Chamber hits the pa system,
cutting Greg Parker off. The fans go nuts in an
ovation the size of Lou Gehrig would recieve today, or
maybe Babe Ruth. Out from the back is High Flyer,
sitting down in a wheel chair, arm slinged up. He
stops at the ramp, because there's no true way that he
can go anyway. He has a tear in his eye, as we see
Kate come out from the back, pleading with Flyer to
stop this. Flyer tries to shine her off, as he has a
Flyer:Fans... Internet Wrestling Organization Fans...
Wrestling fans in General. I come here tonight,
wondering if I left a mark on each and every one of
you. If I made you sleep up, and wonder why I did what
I did. I want to know if you guys loved me, and loved
me putting up my body for what I did...
(The fans just clap, which is rather deafening.)
Flyer:If you didn't like the way I conducted my
promos, you may have loved how I wrestled. If you
didn't like the way I wrestled, you probably loved the
fact I was thrown around daily, but you still loved
me. I love each and everyone of you out there. Without
you, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I thank you
(Kate is just shown tearing, streaks of white flowing
down her checks.)
Flyer: I... I can't believe what happened. It just
boggles the mind. After everything I've seen, after
everything I've done in my career, it comes down to a
simple stunt pulled drastically wrong, to end what
I've dreamt of doing at an age of just 25 years
(Kate just breaks down, and clutches onto the still
able bodied shoulder of Flyer.)
Flyer:Don't worry Kate. Think of all the time we'll
have together now, away from the road. I love you, and
I love this child. I want to be there for his
childhood, unlike my father and his sporatic career...
(Flyer begins to whell up, as he just tries to stop.)
Flyer:Guys... I love you all... Don't you forget that,
because I won't forget you...
(Flyer breaks down into tears, as we see none other
than Billy Ray behind him.)
GP:What is the Drunken Bastard doing out here?
JT:OH MY GOD! THE BASTARD JUST TIPPED THAT WHEELCHAIR
OVER! DEAR GOD!
GP:WHAT IN HELL IS BILLY RAY THINKING?!? THAT MAN'S
LIFE IS STILL AHEAD OF HIM, AND RAY WANTS TO HURT HIM
Shallow:Ray's got Kate Young! He has her by the hair!
GP:WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MONSTER GOING TO DO!
(Ray throws Kate in between his legs, as if to go for
his Beer Bomb.)
JT:Oh boy! This time Ray's going to abort that Baby in
GP:EDDIE CHENO! BONG IN HAND! JEEZ!
(Cheno races out with the bong, as Ray dives down off
the ramp, and away from Kate. Cheno goes to help up
Kate, and then goes to check on Flyer. Ray is shown
pointing towards Cheno, as Cheno just stares at Ray,
and takes a puff of his "cigarette.")
JT:Are we allowed to show that on Television.
GP:This IS pay per view.
Shallow:Is that Shawn Carter or what?
(EMT's come out to help Flyer, who is obviously
injured. Cheno helps Kate up, as she immediatly goes
over to Flyer's side. The camera's fade back to the
announcers, as the EMT's help Flyer out of the arena.)
GP: Folks...it's time for another eight man match.
JT: Well whoop de doo...I gotta be honest folks...This one looks like it's
going to be a shocker.
GP: Don't worry about him ladies and gents, he's just angry because they
took Nikki away.
JT: Yeah, and look who we get in her place...Johnny 'The Weiner' Shallow.
GP: Well we'll do our best to ignore JT for this match, looks like we're
ready for the announcements.
(It cuts down to the ring where Meygon has the mic.)
Meygon: This match is an eight man elimination match...Coming to the ring at
this time...The team of Donnie Daze, Scott Stone, Justin Shack and Simon
(The four of them come down to the ring. They're only just past the stage
area, when the team Blair, Kevin Martin, Ash Robinson and Schitzo Tod
attack them from behind!)
GP: All eight men in the arena now!
Shallow: Smart tactics by the second team.
(Ash Robinson with a kick to Scott Stone's gut. He hooks him for a DDT...but
Simon Seaman smacks him in the face with a chair!...Then he pushes him off
the stage and Ash falls down headfirst onto one of the electrical boxes)
JT: Bang! You know that hurt!
(The other seven men reach the ring, brawling. The bell is run to begin the
match as Kevin Martin and Donnie Daze lockup. Ash Robinson's left down off
GP: Looks like Ash's going to be counted out of this one.
**Ding Ding Ding!**
**Eliminated: Ash Robinson**
JT: And Ash Robinson is the first to be eliminated from this match! What a
bugger of a way to go!
(Martin whips Daze into the ropes and puts him down with an elbow...He picks
him back up and brings him over to his corner.)
GP: There's the tag to Justin Shack!
(They whip him into the ropes and then hit a double chokeslam on him.)
(Justin Shack makes a cover.)
(He escapes the pin at the last second.)
GP: It's doesn't get any closer than that one.
(Justin Shack picks up Kevin Martin. He whips him into the ropes...but
Martin reverses it...Spinebuster by Kevin Martin!...He brings him back
JT: That's his finisher!
**Ding Ding Ding!**
**Eliminated: Justin Shack**
Shallow: Justin Shack is outta here!
(Scott Stone hits the ring to replace him, as Kevin Martin tags in Blair.)
JT: Blair? Who's Blair?
JT: ...Getting his ass handed to him right now!
(Scott Stone whips Blair into the corner...then nails him with an Avalanche
Splash! He kicks him in the chest and then lifts him up...and drops him down
with a brainbuster!)
GP: He spiked him!
(Stone brings Blair back up and he tags in Simon Seaman.)
JT: ...And Simon Seaman has a chair!
(...And he smacks Blair in the face...Then he belts him over the head...once
more on the back!)
GP: Oh dear!...Blair is getting, for the lack of a better
phrase...completely wasted by Simon Seaman!
(He picks Blair up and whips him into the ropes...Drop toe hold onto the
chair!...He picks him back up again...Piledriver onto the chair!)
JT: See JT, you thought this macth would be a shocker!...It's great!
(Seaman up on the turnbuckle...Blair slowly back to his feet...Simon Seaman
jumps off and nails him with the Silencer!)
JT: Seaman flies through the air and Blair takes the load!...Blair is
**Ding Ding Ding!**
GP: Blair's gone from the match...Team B down to two men, but Team A still
have three left!
(Schitzo Tod hits the ring and starts beating down on Simon Seaman with a
vengeance. Tod slams him to the mat with a Belly to belly Suplex.)
JT: Belly to belly...and there's a legdrop across his face.
(Tod brings Seaman back to his feet and hooks him for the Call From Beyond.)
GP: But Seaman escapes and back-body drops Schitzo Tod.
(Simon Seaman up the turnbuckle again. Schitzo back to his feet.)
JT: This looks like another Silencer!
(But Schitzo hits the ropes and Simon Seaman gets crotched!)
JT: That's my favourite move!
(Schitzo hits the turnbuckle...Call From Beyond on Simon Seaman from the top
GP: Oh my god!
(He makes a cover.)
**Ding Ding Ding!**
**Eliminated: Simon Seaman**
Shallow: We're down to four men no folks, two on each team.
GP: Donnie Daze and Scott Stone against Kevin Martin and Schitzo Tod.
(Tod tags in Kevin Martin as Scott Stone hits the ring. Martin with a
clothesline on Scott Stone...But Scott Stone ducks...and then nails him with
release German Suplex!)
JT: He landed right on his head!
(Cover by Scott Stone.)
GP: Kickout by Kevin Martin!
(Stone brings Martin back up and nails him with a series of punches to the
face...But Martin blocks his attack...Kick to the groin on Scott
Stone!...and Kevin Martin flattens him with a Powerbomb!
JT: What a powerbomb! They'll need to scrape Scott Stone off the mat now.
(Kevin Martin tags Schizto Tod back in...and he comes flying into the ring
with a Spash from the turnbuckle!...Cover on Scott Stone!)
JT: Last second kickout by Scott Stone...
(Schitzo whips him into the ropes...but Scott Stone grabs the ropes and
quickly makes a tag to Donnie Daze...Daze with a slingshot clothesline and
Schitzo Tod goes down.)
GP: Scott Stone and Donnie Daze both in the ring now with Schitzo Tod.
(Stone brings up up to his feet...Suicidal Tendencies on Schitzo Tod!...And
Donnie Daze brings him up and nails him with Dazed and Confused!)
Shallow: There's a cover!
**Ding Ding Ding!**
**Eliminated: Schitzo Tod**
(Donnie daze tags Scott Stone back in, and they both land a double
clothesline across the throat of Kevin Martin!)
JT: What a power clothesline by thw two of them there, they flipped Kevin
Martin right over onto his head!
(Scott Stone brings Kevin Martin back to his feet...but Kevin Martin low
blows him and rolls him up in a small package!)
GP: We're down to the last two men folks!...Donnie Daze and Kevin Martin!
Shallow: One of those two will advance!
(The two of them lock up in the centre...Kevin Martin whips Donnie Daze into
the ropes...and he nails him with a Powerslam!)
JT: Cover by Martin!
GP: Daze kicks out!
(Martin brings him back up and scoop slams him...Now Martin wants it to be all over.
He goes up top and yells the fans "NEXT WORLD CHAMP")
JT: WAIT LOOK!!! ITS SCHITZO TOD!!
(Tod runs down the ramp and jumps up behind Martin and pushes him off the ropes)
GP: OH!!! Martin hits hard as Tod jumps back down. Martin gets to his feet and starts to yell at Tod.
But Tod just smiles at him and points behind him. Martin turns around...Dazed and Confused!!!!!!!!! DAZE HIT IT!
**Ding Ding Ding!**
**Eliminated: Kevin Martin**
JT: Donnie Daze wins it!
(The Referee holds Daze's hand up for the victory.)
Meygon: The winner of this match...Donnie Daze!!!
JT: YES!!! Daze moves on!
GP: Now we have two of the three. Wars, Daze and Whoever wins the NA title match.
Shallow: IM still saying Spaz will retain.
[The scene cuts back to Jamies door were we still dont see anything....Then all of a sudden VP Evan walks up to the door and knocks.]
VP Evan: Jamie...you there?
Voice: YES.....Im in the bath room playing with my CGI....ill meet you there.
VP Evan:......ummmm ok if you say so.
[VP Evan walks off camera as a slap his heard from Jamies room]
Voice: NOW SIGN IT OR YOUR SON GARRET IT NEXT!
[The camera cuts back to the ring]
GP: Wow what a PPV this has been here in the IWO CT PPV!
Shallow: Heck ya and it aint over yet we got our Extreme Title match
between Jax Stone and Marvin "Birdman" Garvins. Lets go down to Meygon for
the ring side announcements.
Meygon: Coming down to the ring first is our challenger for the IWO Extreme
Title here he is Marvin "Birdman" Garvins!!!!!!
(as Marvins theme music comes on as he walks out of the back raising his
arms in the air as he runs down to the ring and slides into the ring as the
crowd is going nuts for this member of Team CGI)
Maygon: And coming down to the ring next is our IWO Extreme Title Champion
and he will be defending his title tonight here he is Jax Stone our IWO
Extreme Title Champion!!!!!!!
(as Jax Stone comes walking out of the back carring his IWO Extreme Title in
the air as he slides into the ring he throws the belt at the referee and
this match is under way)
GP: And this IWO Extreme Title match is under way with Jax Stone and Marvin
"Birdman" Garvins as both men are walking around the ring staring at each
other and pacing around.
Shallow: This one could be a classic IWO Extreme Title match as Stone and
Marvin are locking up in the middle of the ring and Stone hits Marvin with a
low blow knocking him onto his ass.
JT: If Stone even looses his title to a guy with the nick name Birdman I am
going to puke all over my self.
GP: Shut up JT you have no idea what you are talking about as Stone is
taking advantage of that low blow he just threw and he is pounding on the
birdman with lefts and rights.
Shallow: And I think Stone is going to go a little EXTREME here in a second
he picks up the birdman and throws him head first out of the ring and face
first onto the cement onto the floor wow that has to hurt.
JT: Ha ha ha didn't look like the birdman was flying too good there at all.
GP: Nope not at all JT!
JT: And Stone is going to the top rope and Stone is off and flying threw
the air and the Birdman counters hitting Stone in the ribs with two knees to
the ribs knocking over out Extreme Champion Jax Stone to the mat and
grabbing his ribs and he might be hurt!
Shallow: He could be hurt I don't know about this one. And Marvin is
trying to go in for the kill he has the ring bell in his hand and he runs up
to Stone and ..
Shallow: Oh my god Stone our Extreme Champion is all cut up and bleeding
and what a blow to the head by Marvin and Stone is knocked out it looks like
and Marvin doesn't care he is going to the top rope and he is going to try
and end this match early. Stone is still laying on the ground and Marvin is
at the top rope and holy shit Marvin slips on the rope and falls bashing his
head off of the steel ramp stairs.
JT: What a fucking idiot Stone was knocked the fuck out and laying on the
ground and Marvin not only goes to the top rope but he falls trying to catch
his balance on the top rope. Jesus what are the superstars of the IWO today
fucking idiots? Come on now!
GP: Well in a way JT I actually agree with you ..we got Stone still
knocked out on the floor and Marvin really is hurting but he is moving on
the ground. But Stone is starting to move and so is Marvin.
Shallow: Ya these two must really want that IWO Extreme title cause they
are fighting their asses off for this title. And Stone is stumbling over
towards Marvin but Marvin hits a low blow but Stone is feeling no pain right
now and he hits Marvin with a right cross to the face knocking Marvin back
onto his ass.
JT: I don't think Stone has a male set of balls. Cause he didn't even feel
that low blow.
(JT is laughing his ass off after his comment as GP and Shallow just look at
JT like what the heck did he just say)
GP: Oh well back to the match as Stone throws Marvin into the ring and he
hits and Inverted DDT snapping Marvins next back and Marvin looks shaken
Shallow: And Stone is going over to finish this match up and Marvin hits a
small package oh my god he has a fall I think ..'
JT: What a kick out and Stone reverses it and he has a small package onto
Shallow: It is over it is over!!!!!!!
JT: Thank god that bird guy didn't win the title I would have puke!
GP: Let go to meygon for the offical annoncement!!!
Meygon: And your winner of the IWO Extreme Championship and still your IWO
Extreme Champion Jax Stone!!!!!!!
GP: Well, it's time for the North American title match.
Shallow: Hooray. The entrances will take years.
GP: Yes, it will. Bear with us, folks...
*ding, ding, ding*
Meygon: The following contest is the Conspiracy Theory match for the IWO
North American title!
("The End Is The Beginning Is The End" by the Smashing Pumpkins plays as
Cyanide comes out to a huge pop. He's accompanied by the Supermodels and
Meygon: First... originally from Canterbury, New Zealand... now residing
in Hollywood, California... weighing in at three hundred, fifteen and
three quarter pounds... accompanied to the ring this evening with
Supermodels Stephanie and Callista, as well as Angry Johnson... he is a
former IWO United States and Television champion... he is
GP: Whoa. Cyanide's ready for this one.
(Cyanide steps through the ropes and waits his opponents. No sooner does
he start waiting than "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit plays as Mac D comes
out to a chorus of boos.)
Meygon: Next... from Irving, Texas... weighing in at two hundred and
forty-five pounds... he is a former IWO Extreme champion...
(Mac D gets french fries dumped on him by a fan. That fan gets the shit
kicked out of him. Then Mac D enters the ring. Then "Three Point One
Four" by the Bloodhound Gang plays as AWS Man (also known as Bill) comes
out to a chorus of boos.)
Meygon: Next... from Freakville, North Carolina... weighing in at two
hundred and thirty-four pounds... he is accompanied to the ring with
Brian Blade and the Nude... he is a former IWO World Tag, IC Tag, United
States, and a two-time Pacific champion... ladies and gentlemen... he is
AWS MAN (also known as Bill)!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) climbs into the ring and proceeds to the
Chicken Dance to a surprisingly loud pop until Brian Blade makes him
Meygon: And finally...
("Uh, All Night" by Kiss plays as Ken War comes out to a semi-decent
Meygon: From some place he's from... weighing in at some pounds... he is
a former World, NA, Extreme, Pacific, US, and Television champion... he
is KEENNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
GP: Hooray for Ken War.
(Ken War raises his arms and the fans sortakinda cheer. Yeah.)
Meygon: And their opponents...
("Rock The Party" by POD plays as Billy Ray, accompanied by the
Bartender, comes out to a chorus of boos.)
Meygon: First, coming down the aisle... being accompanied to the ring by
the Bartender... from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... weighing in at two
hundred and seventy-two pounds... he is a former Pacific and United
States champion... he is BIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY
GP: Uh, he's STAGGERING OUT, Meygon. Not coming down the aisle.
JT: Forgive her, she's blonde.
GP: Oh yeah.
(Billy Ray climbs into the ring to soak up some more boos.)
JT: There's not a lot of faces in this match, is there?
Shallow: Hell no.
("Degenerate" by Blink 182 plays as Tony Davis comes out to even MORE
boos. He's accompanied by... no one.)
Meygon: Next... from Sydney, Australia... weighing in at two hundred and
thirty-seven pounds... he is a former IWO World, NA, World Tag, and
Intercontinental Tag Team champion... he is TOOOOOONNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYY
GP: This guy's an asshole.
JT: Why for you say that?
GP: HE ENDED HIS BEST FRIEND'S CAREER.
JT: Oh yeah.
("Suffocate" by Finger Eleven plays as LiGiL comes out to... wait for
it... wait for it... yes, MORE BOOS!)
Meygon: Next... from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred and
fifty-four pounds... he is a former North American and United States
champion... he is LIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
(LiGiL enters the ring... and then, suddenly, "Twist of Cain" by Danzig
plays as the North American champion, Spaz comes out to a huge pop.)
Meygon: Finally... from Lexington, Kentucky... weighing in at two
hundred and twenty-five pounds... he is a former TV champion and the
CURRENT IWO North American chaaaaammmmmmppppppioooonnnn... he is
(Spaz holds the title in his right hand. He proceeds to climb into the
ring and brawling erupts.)
*ding, ding, ding*
GP: And may the mayhem commence!
JT: Everyone's brawling with everyone! Davis and Mac D! AWS Man (also
known as Bill) and LiGiL! Spaz and Cyanide! War and Ray!
GP: Davis rushes at Mac D! Mac D with a backdrop! Mac D celebrates, but
gets thrown over the top by Billy Ray! Now LiGiL and Spaz with a double
dropkick to Cyanide to send him over! But War with a flying double
clothesline to take both LiGiL and Spaz out! The legal men have ended up
being Ken War and Billy Ray!
JT: War with a double leg takedown to Ray! Right hands, right hands!
Raining down upon Billy Ray's skull! This Ken War is an animal!
GP: War makes the tag to Mac D, who starts pounding away on Ray! Mac D
picks up Ray and nails him with a scoop slam! Now Mac D gets Ray with a
legdrop and makes the tag to AWS Man (also known as Bill)! Mac D sends
Ray off the ropes! Mac D drops down... AWS Man (also known as Bill) with
a flying back elbow!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a clothesline to Ray to take him
down! Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes the tag to Cyanide! Cyanide
UNLOADS on Ray with various right hands! Cyanide sends Ray off the
ropes! Hotshot by Cyanide! Cyanide with the cover! One... two... LiGiL
with the save.
Shallow: Cyanide makes the exchange to War, who pounds on Ray! War sends
Ray off the ropes... blind tag by Davis! War didn't see it! Ray ducks
the clothesline! Davis and Ray with a double kick in the gut.. double
DDT on War! Into the cover by Davis! One... two... no!
JT: Davis with a legdrop to War to keep him down, now the tag to LiGiL.
GP: LiGiL with an elbow drop to War.
JT: Exciting, huh?
Shallow: You want another Donkey Kong run-in?
JT: I'll pass.
Shallow: That's what I thought. LiGiL with an Irish whip into the
corner, now LiGiL charges in, but War catches him with a back elbow! War
climbs up on the second turnbuckle... he looks for the Tornado DDT! He
flies... but LiGiL throws War off of him and halfway across the ring!
JT: War gets back up, but LiGiL runs at him... neckbreaker!
GP: LiGiL picks up Wars and puts him on the top rope! LiGiL climbs up...
is it the Palindrome?! No, Wars flips out at the last second! He pulls
LiGiL's legs out from under him and LiGiL's face hits the turnbuckle!
Wars with the tag to Mac D! LiGiL stumbles to tag in Tony Davis!
JT: Davis is in, Mac is in! Mac D UNLOADS on Davis with rights hands!
Repeatedly into the temple of Davis! Davis flails into pulling Mac D
into his turnbuckle! Ohhh! Wrong territory, bitch!
(Spaz, LiGiL, and Ray all hit Mac with right hands, before walking right
into a kick in the gut by Davis.)
Shallow: Davis sets him up for the Equalizer! But Mac D gets him with a
low blow and puts him in the double arm position! It could be... OH
SHIT(360 Double Arm Piledriver)! DAVIS IS LAID OUT! MAC D INTO THE
COVER! MAC'S TEAMMATES KEEP DAVIS'S AT BAY! ONE.... TWOOO.... LIGIL
BREAKS IT UP!
JT: Somehow, LiGiL got through War and kept Davis from getting pinned! A
lot of good THAT'LL do, considering that Davis is OUT!
GP: Mac D pulls Davis to his corner and makes the tag to AWS Man (also
known as Bill)! AWS Man (also known as Bill) ascends the top rope! It
could be... WIN THE FREAKIN' MATCHIFIER(Shooting stars press)! THAT MOVE
CAUGHT DAVIS TOTALLY! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) STAYS WITH THE COVER!
ONE... TWO... THREEE!!!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
Eliminated- Tony Davis
JT: My god! The former IWO World Champion is the first to go! Who
would've thunk it?!
GP: I can't believe it, either!
Shallow: Davis solemnly rolls out of the ring, as we're four to three
with Cyanide's team in the lead.
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) tags in Ken War. Ken War walks in as
LiGiL rushes at him! Clothesline by LiGiL! LiGiL's going nuts! LiGiL
sends War off the ropes! Powerslam by LiGiL! For the cover! One...
two... NO! LiGiL couldn't hold him!
Shallow: LiGiL sends Ken War into the corner... LiGiL sets up Ken War
for the Palindrome, again! But wait! War pushes LiGiL off! LiGiL rushes
at War to try the Palindrome, but War punches him in the face... TORNADO
DDT! Finally, War hits that Tornado DDT! Into the cover... one... two...
GP: It'll take more than that to stop LiGiL, I assure you.
JT: War tags in Cyanide, who unloads on LiGiL with more right hands!
Cyanide sends LiGiL off the ropes... FACEPLANT! FACEPLANT BY CYANIDE! HE
GOES FOR THE COVER! One... two... LiGiL kicks out!
GP: LiGiL with the tough kickout at two! Cyanide's a bit frustrated, as
he tags Ken War back in, and.. WAIT! CYANIDE WITH A LOW BLOW TO KEN
WAR!? WHAT THE HELL!?
JT: LiGiL gets War on his shoulders and climbs up to the top...
PALINDROME(Super Death Valley Driver)! PALINDROME BY LIGIL! CYANIDE'S
LEAVING AND LAUGHING!? WHAT THE HELL!?
Shallow: LIGIL FOR THE COVER! ONE... TWO.... THREE!!!!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
Eliminated- Ken War
GP: My god! Cyanide just cost his partner the NA title!?
JT: Cyanide's leaving and he doesn't seem to be coming back, as his
entourage is leaving with him!
Ref: One! ...Two! ...Three! ...Four! ...Five!
GP: Forget it, Cyanide's history. We're down to three-to-two in THAT
Ref: ...Six! ......Seven! ...Eight! ...Nine! ...Ten!
*ding, ding, ding*
Shallow: We're down to AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Mac D against
LiGil, Billy Ray, and Spaz! And Spaz is finally the legal man!
GP: Spaz attacks Mac D, but Mac D with a rake in Spaz's face! Elbow
smash to Spaz! Spaz comes back with some right hands! Chop by Spaz!
*Whoo* Chop! *Whoo* Mac D counters with his own chops! *Whoo* Mac D
sends Spaz off the ropes! Spaz ducks the clothesline, Spaz turns Mac
around... DDT! That plants Mac D!
JT: Spaz for the cover! One... two... thr- NO! Mac D gets the left
shoulder up at two and a half!
Shallow: Spaz picks up Mac D! Back elbow by Spaz! That stuns Mac!
JT: Spaz grabs Mac D and pulls him to his corner! Tag to Billy Ray!
Billy Ray with a hard right to Mac D! Now Ray sends Mac D into the
ropes! Mac ducks Ray's clothesline! Mac spins Ray around! Kick in the
gut... piledriver! Piledriver to Ray! Both men are down! Nice move!
GP: I don't think anyone saw that move coming! Now Mac D moves into the
Fujiwara armbar! Right in the center of the ring! Billy Ray's SCREAMING
Shallow: But LiGiL with a slingshot elbowdrop to stop Mac D's advantage!
Ray slowly gets to his feet and kicks Mac D in the gut! Mac D is being
set up for the Beer Bomb! AWS Man (also known as Bill) walks into the
ring! Mac D's up in the Bomb... BUT AWS MAN (also known as Bill) CLIPS
BILLY RAY! MAC D FALLS ON TOP!
GP: ONE... TWO... NO! Billy Ray kicks out at two! Mac D crawls to his
corner! TAG! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) IS IN! Ray doesn't know what
to do! Ray with the right hand! Blocked by AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) with an elbow! Mac D runs back into the
ring! Clothesline to Spaz! Clothesline to LiGiL!
JT: Mac D is a house of fire!
Shallow: Meanwhile, AWS Man (also known as Bill) has Billy Ray perched
GP: But Billy Ray's fighting it! But wait! Mac D comes over and nails an
elbow on Ray! Now Mac D picks up Ray on his shoulders! THIS COULD BE IT
FOR BILLY RAY!
JT: Billy Ray's trying to fight out of this problem, but Mac D moves Ray
over... RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE(Samoan Neckbreaker)! RANDOM ACT OF
VIOLENCE ON BILLY RAY! THAT'S IT! IT'S OVER FOR BILLY RAY! AWS MAN (also
known as Bill) COVES! ONE... TWO... YES! THREEE! AWS MAN (also known as
Bill) and MAC D HAVE ELIMINATED BILLY RAY!
*ding, ding, ding*
Eliminated- Billy Ray
GP: AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR!
Shallow: LiGiL dumps Mac D over the top rope, though! Now AWS Man (also
known as Bill) grabs LiGiL from behind! Snap German suplex! AWS Man
(also known as Bill) floats over... SLAP THE FREAK AROUND(Lots of
slaps)! RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! HOW LONG WILL LIGIL HOLD OUT IN
THIS DREADED SUBMISSION HOLD!
GP: About as long as it takes Spaz to hit that front dropkick on AWS Man
(also known as Bill) to knock him down!
JT: Mac D has wandered back over to his corner.
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes the exchange to Mac D, who
unloads on LiGiL with more right hands than you can shake a stick at!
Mac D sets up LiGiL... this could be the Badass Bomb... no! LiGiL
counters! Backdrop! Now LiGiL tags in Spaz! Spaz with the whip into the
corner! Stinger splash, but Spaz keeps Mac D in the corner!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) may be a lone team member after this
Shallow: Spaz is up on the second rope... SPAZTIC COMBUSTION(Diamond
Dust)! SPAZTIC COMBUSTION BY SPAZ ON TO MAC D! SPAZ GOES FOR THE COVER!
ONE... TWO... NO! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) BREAKS IT UP! BUT MAC D
IS STILL OUT! Spaz goes over to mess with AWS Man (also known as
Bill)... KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF(Thrust Kick)! SPAZ LITERALLY
BOUNCED FROM AWS MAN (also known as Bill)'S CORNER TO HIS HOME CORNER!
GP: Lucky thing that LiGiL got the tag!
JT: LiGiL picks up Mac D and perches him up on the neutral corner!
GP: Mac D fights it! He's somehow gotten a second wind after taking the
Spaztic Combustion! Mac D grabs LiGiL... SECOND ROPE RYDEEN BOMB! MY
GOD! WHAT A MOVE!
Shallow: You sound more and more like Jim Ross every day, Greg.
GP: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! EVIL! EEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!!
*GP bitchslaps Shallow*
Shallow: Ow. Sorry.
GP: You'd better be!
JT: Mac D is crawling over to his corner! Inch by inch! But LiGiL grabs
his foot! LiGiL is dragging Mac D to his corner! Now he's choking Mac D!
The referee is admonishing LiGiL! And... WAIT A MINUTE! CHRISTY JUST
GRABBED A CHAIR!
GP: WHOA! What a chairshot! Mac D is out!
JT: LiGiL grabs Mac D! Brainbuster by LiGiL! But the pin's academic
anyway! LiGiL goes for the cover! One... two... three! Mac D's gone!
We're down to three!
*ding, ding, ding*
Eliminated- Mac D.
Shallow: LiGiL is jumping up and down like he won the Olympics! But AWS
Man (also known as Bill) is there with a forearm to LiGiL's back!
JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) sends LiGiL off the ropes!
Flapjack! Flapjack by AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
Shallow: AWS Man (also known as Bill) goes for the cover! One... two..
no! Foot on the ropes! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is arguing with the
ref! LiGiL with the schoolboy! One... two... no! AWS Man (also known as
Bill) kicked out at two!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets up, but LiGiL's there with a
kneelift! Now he grabs AWS Man (also known as Bill) from behind...
GERMAN SUPLEX! WITH A BRIDGE! ONE... TWO... NO! AWS Man (also known as
Bill) kicked out!
JT: Spaz is STILL trying to recover from the earlier thrust kick by AWS
Man (also known as Bill)!
Shallow: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is getting up, but LiGiL gets AWS
Man (also known as Bill) up in what could be the Palindrome! But AWS Man
(also known as Bill) flips out! He grabs LiGiL from behind... BREAK YOUR
FREAKIN' NECK(Burning Hammer-style Inverted DVD)! THAT'S IT! LIGIL'S
DONE! ONE... TWO... NO!!! LIGIL BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!
JT: Wait! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is calling for something!
GP: The Nude has a poodle! Where'd he get that?!
Shallow: I don't know, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) is telling him
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is waiting for LiGiL to get up! The
Nude throws the poodle at LiGiL! LiGiL catches it!
JT: ACK! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) JUST UNLEASHED HELL WITH THAT
SPINNING WHEEL KICK THAT KNOCKED THE POODLE INTO LIGIL'S FACE! LIGIL'S
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) calls that the Von Freakinator or
something! And that's it! AWS Man (also known as Bill) goes for the
cover... one... two... three!!
*ding, ding, ding*
GP: WE'RE DOWN TO TWO! ONE OF THESE MEN WILL GO ON TO THE CT FINALS TO
FACE DONNIE DAZE AND ADAM WARS!
JT: Spaz is up, and he walks right into AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
Spaz doesn't know what to do, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) does!
Right hand by Spaz, though! Spaz is beating the hell out of AWS Man
(also known as Bill) right into the corner!
GP: Spaz with the Irish whip, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) reverses!
Shallow: AWS Man (also known as Bill) charges in, but Spaz leaps up..
into a sunset flip! One... two... no! AWS Man (also known as Bill) rolls
out of it, into the lobster pin, one... two... Spaz with the reversal
again! One... two... ANOTHER REVERSAL! AWS Man is parelell to Spaz!
One... two... Spaz with the bridge... into the backslide! One... two...
NO! AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicks out!
GP: Nice pinfall reversal sequence thing.
JT: Yeah, but Spaz and AWS Man (also known as Bill) brawl some more!
Shallow: Spaz tries a clothesline, but AWS Man (also known as Bill)
catches the arm... into a Dragon suplex! One... two... SPAZ GETS OUT!
Somehow, some way, he kicked out!
JT: You know, AWS Man (also known as Bill) is one move away from
achieving the impossible.
GP: The IWO North American Title?
JT: NO, STUPID! From doing all five of his trademark moves in one match!
Shallow: Spaz, however, is trying to keep that from happening! Spaz is
up, so is AWS Man (also known as Bill), Spaz rushes at AWS Man (also
known as Bill), but AWS Man (also known as Bill) throws Spaz over the
top rope to the outside!
GP: Spaz is in some dangerous territory, since AWS Man (also known as
Bill) has the Nude and Brian Blade and all Spaz has is his damn Cactus.
JT: The Nude is getting dangerously close to Spaz... wait! The Nude
grabs Spaz! Spaz with an elbow to knock down the Nude... BUT AWS MAN
(also known as Bill) JUST DESTROYED SPAZ WITH A TOPE CON HILO TO TAKE
SPAZ AND THE NUDE DOWN!
GP: IS HE INSANE!? HE'LL KILL HIS OWN DAMN MANAGER!
Shallow: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is getting up slowly, as is Spaz,
and Spaz throws AWS Man (also known as Bill) right back into the ring!
GP: Spaz slides back into the ring and sends AWS Man (also known as
Bill) off the ropes... SAMOAN DROP! INTO THE COVER! ONE... TWO... NO!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicks out!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is a tough motherfucker, let me tell
Shallow: Spaz picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and sends him off
the ropes again! Backdrop... no! AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicks
Spaz! Spaz stumbles about, and AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicks him
again! FOLDOVER POWERBOMB! SPAZ IS PROBABLY DEAD! ONE... TWO... NO! Spaz
kicked out at two!
JT: Spaz SOMEHOW found the energy to kick out!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Spaz and sends him off the
ropes! AWS Man (also known as Bill) goes for a Thesz press... NO!
BLOCKED... SPAZM (Sky High)! SPAZM BY SPAZ! SPAZ HOLDS ON FOR THE PIN!
ONE.... TWO..... THRE-NOOO! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) KICKED OUT AT
THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!
Shallow: Look at the loook on Spaz's face! He's SHOCKED that the Spazm
couldn't get the win!
GP: Spaz picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and drops him with a back
breaker! Spaz goes up top! This could be it!
JT: Spaz comes off the top with a senton backsplash... BUT AWS MAN (also
known as Bill) MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Spaz! BREAK YOUR FREAKIN' NE-
NO! SPAZ FLIPS OUT! Waistlock... GERMAN SUPLEX! ACK! SPAZ IS HOLDING ON
TO IT! ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX! SPAZ IS USING THE ROLLING GERMANS! BUT AWS
MAN (also known as Bill) IS BLOCKING THE THIRD! Spaz clubs on AWS Man
(also known as Bill) with forearms! Spaz with a RELEASE TIGER SUPLEX!
That's it. AWS Man (also known as Bill) is clinically DEAD after that!
Shallow: Spaz goes for another cover! One... two... NO! Spaz STILL can't
get the win!
JT: Spaz grabs AWS Man (also known as Bill) into what may be a
wheelbarrow suplex... he picks him up... BUT AWS MAN (also known as
Bill) COUNTERS INTO A BULLDOG!
Shallow: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) is spent! He's trying to go
for the cover! One... two... thr-NO! Spaz barely gets the shoulde rup!
JT: Spaz is wobbily, as AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Spaz into
what could be Drop You On Your Freakin' Face... NO! Spaz slips out from
behind... and shoves AWS Man (also known as Bill) into the corner!
GP: Spaz with a stinger splash from behind! Now Spaz turns AWS Man (also
known as Bill) around and perches him on the top rope! He's setting up
for the Spaz-Out!
JT: It's Spaz's last-ditch effort, now!
Shallow: Spaz climbs up, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) is blocking!
He's blocking! AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a shot in the gut, now
he picks him up and... OH JESUS CHRIST! NO! AWS Man (also known as Bill)
has him in the scoop slam position... HOLY FUCK! DROP YOU ON YOUR
FREAKIN' FACE(Emerald Fusion) OFF THE TOP ROPE! SPAZ IS A STAIN ON THE
CANVAS NOW! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) ROLLS OVER AND BARELY GETS HIS
ARM INTO THE COVER!
JT: ONE... ...TWO... ...THREE!!!!!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
JT: New champion! And not only that, AWS Man (also known as Bill) is
going to meet Donnie Daze and Adam Wars later tonight in the Conspiracy
Meygon: The winner and sole survivor of this match... and going on to
face Donnie Daze and Adam Wars in the Finals of the Conspiracy Theory...
AND NEEEEEEEWWWWWWW INTERNET WRESTLING ORGANIZATION NORTH AMERICAN
CHAMPION... AWS MAN (also known as Bill)!
JT: What a match. And what an ass-kicking move that finally put Spaz
(We show a replay of the top rope Drop You On Your Freakin' Face.)
GP: Well, now that AWS Man (also known as Bill) is facing Adam Wars and
Donnie Daze, who do you guys think'll win?
JT: Daze should've been champion long before CT. I give it to him, he
wants it more.
Shallow: I say AWS Man (also known as Bill) will win it, if he does that
top rope Emerald Fusion thing again.
GP: Well, I'll agree with JT... FOR ONCE. Daze'll prolly win it.
Shallow: This next match is for the IWO tag team starps.
JT: Yeah, and it's not even a tag match!
GP: Right JT, Capital Punishment will take on former tag team partner Dane Matthews for those titles hanging up there...
(Parker points to the tag belts hanging high above the ring.)
GP: ...And the only way to get them is through your opponent.
(The crowd pops as Capital Punishment's music hits.)
JT: It's Cappy!
(Cappy comes down to the ring with a ladder and sets it up. Dane Matthew's music cuts off Cappy's as Matthews runs down with a piped chair. Cappy starts to climb the ladder but Dane hits him in the back.)
GP: This is going to be intense! These two were former partners and now they have to battle it out!
Shallow: It looks like Matthews is determined to show everyone that he alone was the heart of the team.
(Dane drops the char and begins punching away at Capital Punishment. He whips him into the ropes, then delivers a tilt-a-whirl slam.)
JT: HA! There you go!
Shallow: Now Dane is climbing the ladder, but- why is he stopping?
GT: OH MY! Dane just hopped off the ladder with an elbow to Cappy!
Shallow: Both men are down, whoever gets up now will gain the advantage.
(Both Cappy and Matthews stagger to thier feet, as they continue brawling. Cappy picks up the chair, and whacks Matthews. Cappy then begins to climb the ladder.)
GP: This could be it! Cappy would get the belts!
Shallow: He's gaining, but- Wait! Dane's getting up! He's climbing the ladder behind cappy!
GP: OH MY GOD!
(Dane Matthews delivers a Downtown Explosion to Cappy, they fall into the midget's announce table.)
GP: DOWNTOWN EXPLOSION ONTO THE MIDGET'S ANNOUNCE TABLE!
JT: THE MIDGETS!!!!
GP: BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
(Dane somehow manages to get to his feet, he stumbles onto the ladder, and begins climbing. He reaces the belts, but Cappy Kicks the ladder over.)
GP: Capital Punishment has just kicked over the ladder! Matthews is a bloody mess!
Shallow: The ladder is now fallen ontop of the ropes, and Matthews is laying on the ground with Punishment stopming away on his back.
JT: What an idiot! Get the titles while Matthews is down!
(Punishment reaches for the ladder, but can pick it up over the rpes. He gets outside the ring, and starts to push ladder in.)
GP: MY GOD! I don't know how, but Dane Matthews is somehow managing to come to his feet.
Shallow: Well, Cappy is still struggling to push that ladder in, he's got it about half way-
(Matthews runs into the ropes, and shoots himslef into the ladder which presses against Cappy's face and knocks him down.)
JT: YES! SHOW THAT IDIOT WHO'S DADDY!
GP: Matthews has the piped chair! Cappy's trying to get to his feet, but instead his head meets the chair!
(Matthews grabs the ladder, and takes it into the ring, he climbs it, But Cappy is back to his feet and starts to climb the other side.)
JT: Damn he just keeps on comen doesnt he?
GP: Cappy and Dane are both at the top of the ladder......Cappy now hitting left and rights on Dane as...WAIT LOOK!!!!!!! ITS SHAWN ARROWS!!
(Arrows slides into the ring as the fans go nuts...He jumps up on the ladder and pulls Cappys leg right off of it pulling cappy with it. Cappy hits hard as Arrows starts to beat down on him.)
Shallow: WHAT THE HELL!!! Is this beat the crap out of the legend night?
(Dane comes around and reaches for the belt as he gets closer and closer.......HES GOT IT!!!!)
GP: Dane Matthews has done it!
Meygon: Here is your winner AND NEW IWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMP!! DANE MATTHEWS!!
Shallow: Wait a second, what's he doing? OH MY GOD!
GP: MY GOD! DANE GRABBED THE BELTS, THEN CAME A FATE'S DESTINEY RIGHT ON TOP OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!
JT: HA that was great! And Look at Arrows hes just laughing!
Shallow: THIS MATCH IS OVER!
GP: GET THE EMTS DOWN HERE! QUICK!
[As the EMTS take Cappy away Dane takes the mic]
Dane Matthews- You're looking at YOUR IWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! *Fans begin booing* That's right..I did what I promised..I completely took out Capital Punishment..There's going to be a new look around the tagteam rankings as the most dominant tagteam in IWO history has just been formed..Ladies and Gentlemen..I give you..TEAM XTREME! Prepare for hell!
JT- What the hell? Team Xtreme?!
GP- Cappy got screwed! He could've won this match up!
Shallow- I don't know what your thinking about Greg..Dane had him beaten the whole way..But, I mean SHAWN ARROWS?!
JT- I don't know whats going on. But, I think Team Xtremes going to be a good thing in the IWO! I think we're looking towards more BLOOD! Whoo!
Shallow- Oh God!
GP- But ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not, we've got brand new IWO World Tag team Champions, we've got Team Xtreme! Dane Matthews and Shawn Arrows now holding the IWO World Tag titles!
JT- Tag teams better watch out because Team Xtreme seems rather dangerous to me!
Shallow- Shut up!
GP : It's Conspiracy Theory finals time!
JT : Oh boy! That means lots and lots of blood!
Shallow : How do you figure?
JT : Well think about it. Whoever wins this automatically gets a World title
shot at the next PPV, Broken Hearts, Broken Bones. Of course they're gonna
do everything they can to put the other guys out of commission. And you know
what that means blood!
GP : Yeah, I guess you have a point
JT : Plus, AWS Man (also known as Bill) is in this match, and he's sure to
be bringing his hardcore, flaming, barbed wire Funnoodle!
Shallow : Oh please. My grandmother is more hardcore.
JT : Yeah, but that's a different kind of hardcore. Wrestling and
pornography are two completely different things.
Shallow : That's disgusting! I'm gonna kill you, you little-
GP : Can we please cut the squabbling for one match? Just one. That's all I
Shallow : Fine, but it's on after the PPV.
JT : Bring it on, bitch!
Shallow : Oh I will!
GP : After the PPV!
JT and Shallow : Fine.
(Meygon enters the ring, dressed pleasantly sluttily as always.)
Meygon : Coming to the ring first, the IWO Television champion he stands
at 6'1" and weighs 222 lbs. he hails from Port St. Lucie, Florida and is
the master of the Final Flight and Turning the Tides he is ADAAAAAAMMM
('Dragula' by Rob Zombie plays as Adam Wars runs down to the ring. He slides
in and faces the entranceway, looking prepared for the match.)
Meygon : Next, the IWO US champ he stands at 6'3" and weighs 225 lbs. he
too hails from Port St. Lucie, Florida, and is the master of Dazed and
Confused and the Daze Blaze he is DONNNNNIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE
('Your Disease' by Saliva plays as Daze comes down to the ring and stares
down his friend/rival Adam Wars.)
GP : You know, Daze and Wars are good friends, but they've developed quite a
rivalry ever since Daze won the US title and Wars won the TV title. But I'm
pretty sure it's just a friendly rivalry.
JT : Yeah, that's what they said about Road Dogg and X-Pac, but then when
X-Pac whooped his ass Road Dogg got mad and turned on him.
Shallow : Well, this isn't the WWF, and these aren't jobbers.
JT : X-Pac isn't a jobber!
Shallow : Suuuuure.
GP : Can we focus on this fed for once?
Meygon : Introducing last the new IWO North American champion as of
tonight he stands at 6'1" and weighs 234 lbs. he hails from Freakville,
NC, which probably isn't a real place, and is the master of the Win the
Freakin' Matchifier, plus a bunch of other nifty moves with the word 'freak'
in them AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL)!
("Three Point One Four" by the Bloodhound Gang plays as the Insane One, AWS
Man (also known as Bill) runs down to the ring. He slides in and the three
men immediately go at it as the bell rings.)
GP : And here we go! All three men slugging it out right off the bat!
(The three men converge in the middle of the ring and a
contest begins. After a flurry of fists, kicks, more kicks, and possibly a
baboon, Donnie Daze knocks down both of the other combatants with big right
hands. As AWS Man (also known as Bill) pops back up to his feet, Daze grabs
him by the hair and tosses him to the outside. He turns back to Wars as Wars
regains his footing.)
GP : It looks like Daze and Wars want to settle this rivalry of theirs,
friendly or not.
(Daze goes for a clothesline, but Wars ducks. Adam grabs Daze by the hair
and looks to already be going for Turning the Tides (Roll the Dice), yet
Donnie slips out and ducks behind Wars.)
Shallow : Escape by Donnie from what could be an early end to this match.)
(Daze grabs Wars by the hair and goes for the Dazed and Confused (Reverse
Facebuster), but he is mule kicked off by Wars.)
JT : Ouchers. Daze went for his finisher as well, but Wars quickly put an
end to that.
(By now the Insane One has gotten back into the game. He and Wars
double-whip Donnie Daze into the ropes and catch him with a double
clothesline on the way back.)
GP : It looks like AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Wars may temporarily
have joined forces against Daze.
(Daze gets up, but is again met with a double clothesline. Daze once again
gets to his feet, this time a little woozily. AWS Man (also known as Bill)
and Adam Wars attempt another double clothesline, but Daze ducks. He catches
Wars with a very low kick as Adam turns around.)
GP : Ow, stiff kick between the legs by Daze.
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) receives one as well when he turns around.
Daze now bounces off the ropes and catches both men with a clothesline.)
Shallow : Double clothesline by Daze! Donnie's cleaning house.
JT : I just realized that the only thing close to a heel in this match is
AWS Man (also known as Bill) that makes me sad.
Shallow : Ha ha.
(Daze now goes to pick Wars up, but Wars pushes him away and they engage in
a fist fight. Daze gains the advantage, and blasts Wars with several big
right hands. However, Wars ducks the last one and Donnie gets blasted by a
Knock Your Freakin' Head Off (Thrust Kick) from a rising AWS Man (also known
JT : Oooh, AWS Man (also known as Bill) just kicked Daze right in the face!
GP : He calls that the Knock Your Freakin' Head Off.
JT : Whatever. That's a gay name anyway.
Shallow : Maybe you're gay.
JT : Maybe your mom's gay.
Shallow : Then how would I have been born?
JT : Shut up!
(Wars whips AWS Man (also known as Bill) into the turnbuckle, but the Insane
One reverses. He immediately drops down to his hands and knees, and Donnie
Daze runs off his back to deliver a Poetry in Motion.)
GP : Nice double team work by Daze and the Insane One. You think they
discussed that before the match?
Shallow : Doubtful.
GP : What, you don't think they could get along well enough for that?
Shallow : No, I just don't think that AWS Man (also known as Bill) could
remember back that far.
GP : Got a point.
(Wars rolls to the outside of the ring to catch his breath. As the Insane
One points and laughs, Daze sneaks up from behind and catches him in a
sleeper. Before he has it locked on really well, though, AWS Man (also known
as Bill) mule kicks him.)
JT : Right between the legs! That's the second time this match for Daze!
GP : Is it just me, or does this match have more low blows than most?
Shallow : What'd you expect from these guys, a technical wrestling match?
They're gonna do whatever it takes to get that World title shot, and they're
not gonna let a little thing like "honor" get in the way.
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) now scales the ropes and attempts a cross
body. Daze rolls through with it and begins pummeling AWS Man (also known as
Bill) in the face. That doesn't last long, since it appears to hurt his hand
to punch the Insane One's paintball mask.)
JT : Ha ha, what a tard! You don't punch someone with a paintball mask in
(Not able to attack AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s face, Daze settles for
the throat as he begins choking his opponent.)
GP : My God! He's just throttling him! I mean I mean just, my God!
JT : It's not that big a deal. He's not even choking him hard, you pussy.
GP : Yeah, but it looked really I mean I don't think that is to say that
(AWS Man (also known as Bill), in a last ditch effort, headbutts Daze with
his mask. As the two roll away from each other, Daze clutching his face and
the Insane One clutching his throat, Wars chooses this time to rejoin the
match. He rolls in and begins stomping the hell out of both men in the ring.
He lifts up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and performs a DDT. He now lifts up
Donnie and does the same.)
GP : A round of DDTs by Wars. You can just see the fire in his eyes and tell
he wants this match.
Shallow : I dunno. Looks kinda like he might have to go to the bathroom
(Constipated or not, Wars lifts up Daze and whips him into the turnbuckle.
He picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and tosses him into the same
turnbuckle. Daze gets his feet up, though, so AWS Man (also known as Bill)
runs into those, then gets leveled by a clothesline from Wars as he staggers
Shallow : This really hasn't been AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s match so
far, has it?
Shallow : JT, you're supposed to defend the heel in this match.
JT : Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that he's a heel now. Uh, well, he's just
biding his time. The Insane One will come back with his devious heel tactics
I never thought I'd say that.
(Daze and Wars seem to have an agreement now, as they whip AWS Man (also
known as Bill) and perform a double arm drag. He manages to land on his
feet, yet both men catch him and perform a double reverse DDT.)
GP : Is that one of his devious heel tactics, JT?
JT : Shut up. I don't even like this guy!
(As Wars bends to pick AWS Man (also known as Bill) up, Daze comes from
behind and catches him with a Dazed and Confused out of nowhere! He makes
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) barely makes the save, simply by kicking his
foot and nailing Daze in the head.)
GP : Smart move by Daze. He nearly won it right there from seemingly out of
JT : Yeah, but instead all he got was a kick in the head with a steel-tipped
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Daze, but Daze meets him with a low
blow on the way up.)
GP : How many more damn low blows are they gonna do this match?
JT : Four.
(Daze tosses the Insane One to the outside of the ring and covers Wars once
GP : Not even a two count. Daze should've known Wars had too long to
(Daze, looking slightly frustrated, picks up Wars and whips into the
turnbuckle. He follows up with a Stinger Splash. As Wars stumbles back out,
Daze lifts him up and places him on the top turnbuckle. He follows up after
him and goes for a superplex, but Wars holds on. The two begin to fight on
the top rope as AWS Man (also known as Bill) slides back in with some
foreign object that he retrieved from underneath the ring.)
Shallow : What the hell is that?
JT : Yes! It's the hardcore flaming barbed wire FUNNOODLE!
GP : Oh please.
(Wars, who has gained the advantage on the top rope, executes a front
superplex onto Daze. As Wars stands back up, AWS Man (also known as Bill)
runs and hits him right in the face with the Funnoodle. Wars is knocked
over, but stands right back up.)
JT : YES! BLOOD! HE'S BUSTED WIDE OPEN!
GP : I think that's just some ketchup that was on the Funnoodle for some
reason. See, Wars just wiped it off and licked it.
JT : HE'S DRINKING HIS OWN BLOOD! HE'S HARDCORE!
Shallow : Give it up, man.
JT : Damn it! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is the worst heel ever!
(Wars suddenly starrs going to town on AWS Man (also known as Bill) with
right hands, as AWS Man (also known as Bill) backpedals. Wars knocks him all
the way back to the opposite turnbuckle. He now whips the Insane One back to
the other side, where he collides with Daze just as Donnie is standing up.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) falls down, and Donnie staggers back into the
turnbuckle, before falling and inadvertently headbutting AWS Man (also known
as Bill) in the crotch, a little number made famous by the Dudleys. Wars
takes a second to taunt, which gains him cheers from the crowd, before
picking Daze up. Daze was apparently playing possum, though, because he
jumps right up and short-arm clotheslines the hell out of Wars.)
JT : Looks like Daze was playing possum.
GP : The little narrating voice that matches have to have now already said
JT : Damn smart ass narrating voice.
(Daze now kicks Wars in the throat, before getting leg sweeped down by AWS
Man (also known as Bill). The Insane One rolls to the outside and goes back
under the ring.)
GP : Don't tell me he's getting another Funnoodle.
JT : Actually, I think he may be hiding under there. He actually went all
the way under it, and isn't coming back out, something the narrating voice
failed to mention.
JT : Make me!
(JT looks at GP with lustful eyes that say, "Take me now.")
JT : Hey! I did nothing of the such!
Shallow : Heh heh. Fruit.
JT : It's makin' up stuff about me! Bastard!
(Yeah, whatever. Daze and Wars seem to forgotten about AWS Man (also known
as Bill), however, as they are up again and battling it out. Wars whips Daze
into the ropes and goes for a clothesline, which Daze ducks. They both
bounce off the ropes and meet each other in the middle of the ring with a
double clothesline, knocking both men down.)
Shallow : How come that happens in half the matches we announce?
GP : It's just a common tactic that allows the combatants to regain their
Shallow : Pussies.
(At this point AWS Man (also known as Bill) decides to come out from under
the ring, carrying a ladder! The fans pop as he slides the ladder in the
ring, followed by a table, followed by sliding in himself.)
JT : Hey, maybe he CAN be hardcore.
Shallow : Doubtful.
JT : Yes, but a man can hope, can't he?
Shallow : In your case, no.
JT : Go to hell.
(The Insane One sets up the ladder in the turnbuckle, and leaves the table
unset up. He picks up Wars and whips him into the ladder. He picks up Daze
and does the same, except that Daze bounces right back and nails a dropkick
on the Insane One, which hits him right in the chops or, right where the
chops would be, if he didn't wear a mask. That mask is a tricky old thing,
it is, it is.)
GP : Looks like the Insane One's little energy spurt is already over, and
he's back to getting his ass beat.
JT : Shut up, shut up, shut up! Can't we just make Daze the heel in this
GP : No, he's the face.
JT : What about Wars?
Shallow : He's the neutral guy. Just face it, you're stuck with AWS Man
(also known as Bill) as the heel.
JT : This sucks.
(Donnie now sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He takes AWS Man
(also known as Bill) and attempts a powerbomb through the table. Just as
he's about to bring him down, though, Wars pulls the Insane One down from
the other side, right into a DDT. As he stands up, Daze locks Wars in a
headlock, yet Wars quickly elbows his way free. He elbows Daze right in the
jaw, and then nails him with a big right hand.)
Shallow : Man! Wars seems to have KO'ed Daze with that huge punch.
(Wars sets Daze up on the table and climbs to the top rope. He looks to be
attempting the Final Flight (Shooting Star Press Into A Frog Splash), but
Daze suddenly pops up, leaps to the top rope, and takes Wars off with an arm
GP : Wow! I think Daze may have been playing possum again!
JT : Ya think?
(Daze now rolls Wars onto the table and scales the top rope, to try for the
Daze Blaze. Just as he's about to jump, AWS Man (also known as Bill)
staggers up and into the ropes, causing Daze to lose his footing and crotch
himself. AWS Man (also known as Bill), sensing no time to waste, moves the
table to the side and picks up the ladder, setting it in the middle of the
ring. He turns as Wars gets to his feet, and runs for a clothesline. AWS Man
(also known as Bill) ducks and scoops him up into a Drop You On Your
Freakin' Face (Emerald Fusion)!)
JT : Oh my God! He may actually have a chance of winning this thing!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) now points to the top of the ladder as the
crowd lets out a big cheer, even though AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s a
heel. He quickly scales up the ladder, moving as fast as his beaten body
allows him to. As he reaches the top, he swoons and almost falls off, not
noticing Daze getting to his feet and scaling the ladder behind him.)
GP : I think the Insane One might be going for the Win the Freakin'
Matchifier (Shooting Star Press). He'd better watch out for Daze, though!
(Just as AWS Man (also known as Bill) prepares to jump, Daze grabs him by
Shallow : He's not gonna do it!
GP : Yes! He is! He's going for the Dazed and Confused from the top of the
(At the last moment, AWS Man (also known as Bill) moves his head sharply
back, butting Daze right in the jaw. Daze loses his balance and falls off
the ladder, through the table! AWS Man (also known as Bill) now does the Win
the Freakin' Matchfifier off the ladder to Wars! Cover!)
JT : HE DID IT! HE DID IT! THE HEEL DID IT! HE'S GOING TO BROKEN HEARTS,
BROKEN BONES! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
Shallow : No we won't, it's a PPV. There are no commercials.
JT : Oh yeah. Then we won't, smart guy!
[Once again the camera cuts back to Jamies room were we hear screaming....sounds like Jamie is being torchered.]
Voice: SIGN IT!
Voice: Fine, Sign it! Or say good bye to everything, your son, your wife, your life, SAY GOOD BYE TO IT JAMIE!!!
[The sound of a gun or something is heard being loaded.]
Voice: This is your last chance, sign it or lose it all!
Jamie: I cant....
Voice: SIGN IT!!!
[The gun is cocked]
Voice: SIGN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Cuts back to the ring]
GP: WHAT IS GOING ON BACK THERE!
JT: This is getting nuts
Shallow: Jamie was almost killed!
JT: Lets just move on.....
Shallow: Go idea....take it GP!
GP: And we've reached the end of the card now folks...its time for the final match in the string of rounds heading towards one goal...the IWO world title.
Shallow: Thats right Greg...its down to the two final men out of the four gladiators that started the night off....we have the challenger Syphon Fission...and the reigning champion "The Legend" Phelen Kell. Both of them have taken hellacious beatings tonight, this should be interesting to say the very least.
GP: Lets go down to ringside for the introductions...
::The camera switches to inside the ring where the ring announcer stands with a card in his hand.::
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...this is the final stretch....of the IWO World title tourney....throughout the night numerous matches have taken place narrowing the field down to the two men who deserve it most...and now.....
::Suddenly the lights go out and the giant Hell in the Cell begins to drop from the ceiling.::
Announcer: This match will be taking place inside of the huge Hell in the Cell cage...and is scheduled for one fall...winner will be decided by pinfall and submission. And now... introducing participant number one!
::The lights begin to flash and "Papercut" by Linkin Park plays as the crowd immidiately stands and begins to cheer Syphon Fission walks out on to the IWO entrance ramp with a towel in his hand. He wipes the sweat from his face and begins to walk down the ramp. He stops outside the cage.::
Announcer: He hails from Seattle Washington...weighing in at 265 pounds...and standing at six feet...six inches tall..... "Man-O-War" SYYYYYYYPHON FISSSSION!!!!
::Syphon pauses for a brief moment, looking up at the massive structure he's about to step inside. He walks inside and slides into the ring, leaning against a ring post awaiting his opponent.::
::"Papercut" by Linkin Park fades out and the lights go totally out making the entire arena black. The familiar bass riff begins to play as "Sober" by TOOL chimes throughout the arena.::
Announcer: He hails from the outskirts of Chicago Illinois...weighing in at 270 pounds and standing at six feet two inches tall....the only man to ever covet the IWO World Heavyweight Title five times....."THE LEGEND" PHEEEEEEELEEEEEEEEEN KEEEEEEEEELL!!!!
::The lights come on to a dim gray as Phelen Kell walks through a cloud of smoke on the rampway. The fans explode as the guitars begin to whail in "Sober" and Kell, with the IWO title around his waist limps down to the ring trying to hide the pain in his body.::
GP: Kell doesn't look to be in very good condition to fight in a Hell in the Cell match up.
::He stops at the cage as well and looks inside, locking eyes with Syphon Fission. They nod to eachother and Phelen walks inside the cage.::
GP: And here we go folks...both men are in the ring and the cage door has been locked.
::Phelen Kell and Syphon Fission begin to circle eachother. They shake hands briefly and then continue to circle.::
Shallow: Phelen Kell is starting us off now with an arm drag take down.
::Phelen snaps Syphon's arm down slamming Syphon to the mat. He immidiately goes into a headlock position.::
Shallow: Very nice execution by the current world champion. Kell has a nice headlock locked on. I think technical wrestling might be the way this match goes.
JT: No way. Both these guys are coming in tired but wait til' the really start heating up and getting their third and fourth winds....then the preverbial shit will hit the fan!
GP: Well we'll see.
::Phelen stands up with the headlock still on. Syphon pushes him off, bouncing Phelen into the ropes. Fission leaps in the air with a shouler blast to Kell, knocking him down to the mat.::
GP: Syphon Fission with a nice reversal and now is pummeling Kells face!
::Syphon Fission stratles Kell and begins bashing him in his face with lefts and rights. He stands up and lifts Kell off the ground, slamming him head first with a DDT.::
GP: DDT by Syphon Fission! He has Kell right where he wants him right now! Thats for sure!
Shallow: And here I thought Kell would control the pace of the match! Thats all Syphon Fission right now!
::Fission rolls Kell on to his stomach and stands up. He drops a knee on to Kells injured back. Phelen screams out in pain.::
JT: Oh shit!
GP: Syphon is not playing around. He went right for Kells injured back!
Shallow: And he continues on by raking Kells back! Ouch! Phelen is rolling out of the ring now and Fission is following right behind him with a baseball slide to the back of Kells head that sends him right into the cage wall!
::Syphon gets the rest of the way out of the ring and lifts Kell up into a Guerrilla Press, he throws him into the cage wall. Kell slams into the ground. Syphon continues to work on Kell by stomping on his back.::
GP: Unmerciful and unrelenting is Syphon Fission the "Man-O-War"! He's just stomping away at the fallen Legend!
Shallow: I think this may be a foreshadowing of things yet to come.
JT: Or maybe a red herring?
Shallow: Hey your not Tom. Don't say that.
GP: Your just mad because JT actually had a point for once in his dismal life.
JT: YEAH!.....HEY WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!
GP: Back to the match, Syphon Fission has Phelen Kell back inside the ring and in a Tree of Woe position!
::Syphon runs to the opposite corner and sprints forward with a missle dropkick slamming into Kells sternum and knocking him to the mat.::
JT: Oh my god, he probably broke a few of Kells ribs there...hehe...kinda funny actually.
::Syphon now lifts Kell up into the position for a running Bulldog. Kell pushes off and Syphon goes flying, landing ass first on the mat.::
GP: Phelen Kell now once again mounts an offensive against the challenger to his throne by pushing away sending Fission flying!
::Kell runs up behind Fission who's sitting on the mat with his eyes wide open and kicks him in the back. The snap can be heard throughout the arena as Syphon arches his back from the sting.::
GP: And the entire audience winces feeling Fissions pain from that snap kic
::Phelen lifts Syphon Fission up and throws him into the ropes while he bounces off the opposite side. They meet in the middle and Kell leaps up with Hurrican-ranna. He stands up and begins to stomp and scream. The crowd reacts with cheers.::
GP: Wonderful Hurrican-ranna by Phelen Kell! He was down, but he's not out and he's making sure the crowd knows it!
Shallow: And they're showing him right back that they know it to!
stands his opponent up and turns him around, setting him up on his shoulders and lifting him up over his head, slamming Fission face first into the mat. Kell sits on the ground for a moment scratching his neck. He then flips Fission over and applies a Scorpion Deathlock that Fission attempts to hault.::
GP: KELL IS GOING FOR MALICIOUS INTENT! ATLEAST THE DEATHLOCK PORTION! BUT FISSION IS FIGHTING BACK! CAN HE STOP KELL!?!?!
JT: NO! KELL GOT IT ON! HE'S LAYING BACK INTO THE HOLD NOW! SYPHON FISSION IS SHRIEKING IN PAIN! THE FANS DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO GO NUTS FOR KELL OR FOR FISSION!!!
Shallow: SYPHON FISSION REFUSES TO TAP OUT! HE SIMPLY REFUSES TO TAP AS KELL WRENCHING ON THE NECK AND LEGS!
::Kell releases the hold from lack of strength and lies on the mat next to Fission.::
GP: He didn't have the juice to hold on any longer. And now both men are down...both men down on the mat.
Shallow: The referee has begun a ten count...are they gonna get up in time?
GP: Both men are now up to one knee. Kell stands quickly and runs toward the ropes, he bounces off and flies through the air! OH MY GOD!
:: Syphon Fission leaps out of the way and pushes Kell as he flies through the air. Kell flies out of the ring and slams into the cage door, knocking it off its hinges.::
JT: HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME!
Shallow: Syphon Fission just redirected Flight K-E-L-L straight through the door of the cage from inside the ring! That was insain! I think Kell is dead!
GP: He's just lying outside the cage on top of the door. The referee is outside the cage with him now. Syphon is coming outside as well! He's after Phelen! He lifts him up and throws him injured back first into the guard rail! That woke Phelen up!
mat next to Fission.::
GP: He didn't have the eyes flash open as he screams out. Fans begin to pat him on the shoulder as Syphon runs at Kell with a Stinger Splash on the railing. Syphon lifts Kell up and smacks him across the face.::
Fission: Hey Kell...got the balls to go all the way?
::Syphon begins to climb up the cage.::
GP: What did Fission just say to Kell!?!?!
Shallow: I don't know but he's now scaling that sixteen foot high steel structure and appears to be waiting up top for Phelen! He's just sitting down and waiting!
::Phelen begins to stand wabbley and stumbling to the side of the cage. He begins to climb the cage as well.::
Shallow: And Phelen Kell answers the call by following Syphon to the top of the cage! Fission is just waiting for him!
::The crowd goes insanse as Kell reaches the top and both fan favorites begin to duke it out on top of the cage. Lefts...and rights fly as they smash eachother in the face.::
GP: These two atheletes are sending electrical currents throughout this jampacked crowd! Listen to them roar for Syphon Fission and Phelen Kell! Just listen!
as Syphon run ::Kell spears Fission and they both go down still rolling around on top of the cage smashing eachother. They roll to the edge of the cage. Fission see's this and headbutts Kell. Phelen gets off of Fission and grabs at his face as Syphon Fission stands up at the edge of the cage.::
GP: What in the hell is going on!?!? Whats Fission gonna do now??
::Kell stands up and runs at Fission who ducks and back body drops Kell off of the top of the cage! Kell flies through the air over the guard rail and landing in the crowd who catch Kell with a mass of bodies like that of a mosh pit, saving him from massive injury.::
GP: OH MY GOD! SYPHON FISSION HAS OFFICIALLY KILLED "THE LEGEND"!
HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! HE HAS TO BE DEAD!
JT: HE'S ALIVE!!!!
lay him on the concrete floor and are circled around him. Kell moves slightly, but not very much and not very far. Syphon Fission, who is climbing down the side of the cage, peers over every so often to make sure Kell hasn't gotten up yet.::
GP: I don't see how Kell is still even alive after that fall!
Shallow: If it weren't for the fans he WOULD be dead after that fall. He flew out ten feet THEN fell sixteen to the fucking concrete floor!
::Syphon, now in the crowd makes his way over to Phelens limp body.::
GP: Whats he gonna do? As if he didn't beat the poor bastard enough he has to go after him for some more!?!?!
JT: HAHAHAHA man am i ever getting a kick out of this!
Shallow: Geez I'm sick but I'm not that fucking sick you asshole.
::Syphon hops the guard rail and walks toward Kell with a cocky swagger about him. Phelen looks up and attempts to stand but has trouble doing so. Syphon then lifts him up on to his shoulder, walking him over and dropping him neck first on the guard railing.::
GP: And Fission continues on! This young man is taking it to "The Legend" tonight! No matter what happens this Syphon Fission has earned my respect..he's earned the crowds respect...and he...has most definately earned Phelen Kells respect!
Shallow: And Syphon isn't letting up just yet Greg! He's thrown Kell over the guard rail and is dragging him toward the cage door.
JT: He has Kell by the arm and is dragging him. BUT WAIT! Kell just pulled himself up wrapping his legs around Syphons head and pulling him to the floor!
::Syphons head smacks against the concrete and both men lie on the ground not moving.::
GP: Syphon Fission just cracked his head hard against the ground there...neither man is moving at the moment.
Shallow: Wait, Kell is fidgiting...he puts his arm over Syphon Fissions chest!
::Syphon Fission kicks out. Kell begins to try and pull himself to his feet using the cage as support. He makes it to his feet and stands still for a moment gathering his wits.::
Shallow: Phelen Kell is finally standing. He goes to lift up Syphon Fission and grabs him by the hair grinding his face against the outside of the cage!!!
GP: He's just mashing away! Syphon Fission appears to be bleeding from the face now. Kell pulls his head back and smacks it against the cage wall, Syphon stumbles backward and Kell NAILS him with a huge Lariot across the throat that sends Syphon Fission over the guard rail. The fans are surely getting an up close and personal show tonight!
::Kell jumps the guard rail and picks Syphon up, body slamming him onto the concrete. Syphon arches his back screaming as Phelen begins to constantly stomp on Syphon at numerous different parts of the body, ending with the head.::
GP: The Garvin Stomp! Made famous by "Rugged" Ronny Garvin back in the eighties!
GP: He stratagically stomped every portion of the body atleast once in a circular pattern! The Garvin Stomp! I haven't seen it in years.
Shallow: Geez where do you get this stuff?
GP: Same place that Kell does obviously!
::Phelen lifts Syphon up to his knee's. He then picks up a metal chair and slams it across Syphons face. Fission doesn't fall....Kell smacks him across his bloodied face again...he doesn't fall....Kell winds up with a thunderous blow with the chair to Syphons cranium that almost knocks Syphon Fission for a looping.::
JT: Whoa, damn. That was a little harsh.
GP: Kell looks to be extracting some revenge for being thrown off the top of the cage. And he's extracting that revenge in blood. Look at the puddle on the floor from Syphon Fission!
::Kell picks Fission up again and grabs him by the waist, flipping him over into almost a Powerbomb position, but not quite over.::
Shallow: Very nice Russian Neck Drop by Kell.
::Kell grabs the legs and rolls over Syphon for a Bridge Pin.::
GP: WHOA! SYPHON KICKED OUT AGAIN!
JT: Never expected that.
Shallow: These two men are giving it their all here today for you fans!
::Kell lifts Fission up and hits him with a European Uppercut. As he is about to fall Kell grabs him and flips him up onto his shoulders, dropping him backwards into a Samoan Drop. Kell lays on Fission.::
............. 1..................... 2.................. KICK OUT!
::Kell stands and pulls Fission up on to his shoulder and then begins walking toward the cage door. He walks Syphon inside and rolls him into the ring.::
JT: 'bout fuckin time they went back inside of the cage.
GP: Kells brought the match back to the ring now.
::Phelen slides into the ring and picks Fission up, throwing him against the ropes, as he comes back Kell hits Syphon Fission with a Spine Buster Arn Anderson would be proud of.::
Shallow: SPINEBUSTER BY PHELEN KELL!
::Kell stands and goes for the legs once again.::
GP: Kell is going for Malicious Intent again! He's going for it again! NO! SYPHON FISSION ROLLED HIM INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!
GP: And a kick out by Kell! Both men hop to their feet and glare at eachother. The fans are going wild again! I haven't seen such a high profile fan favorite match since The Ultimate Warrior faced Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania!
Shallow: I couldn't even hear what you just said its so loud in here!
::Kell and Fission go in to a Collar and Elbow tie up and begin to wrench back and fourth. Fission attempts for a knee to Kells stomach but Kell blocks it. Kell attempts an Arm Drag but then Syphon grabs him around the waist and flips him backward into a German Suplex Pin.::
GP: Another great move by Fission! He lifts Kell up and throws him against the ropes. He side steps as Kell comes back off the ropes and En-seguri kicks him in the back of the head. Kell flops on the ground! MY GOD what a kick! What a kick! Fission puts his knee's on that injured back of Kell, he grabs the legs and the head and lays back into a Surfboard submission!
Shallow: We can hear Kell scream from up here!
::Kell refuses to submit and Fission releases the hold. He bounces off the ropes and drops and elbow on Kells back. He rolls him over and goes for the pin.::
::Syphon Fission lifts Kell up and throws him into the ropes, as Phelen comes back Syphon drops into a Drop Toe Hold and then wraps Kell into an STF right away.::
GP: Oh my! That was impressive! Fission is showing some technical skill of his own now!
Shallow: But Kell has a hand on the ropes so Fission has to release the hold. Fission lifts Kell up again.
::As he lifts Kell up Phelen low blows him and lifts him up into a Death Valley Driver that sends both men over the top rope to the ground still inside the cage.::
JT: What a DVD that was!
GP: Simply marvelous! Phelen Kell is begining to stand up. He grabs Syphon by the hair. Whats he doing?
::Kell grabs Syphon by the hair and pulls him close enough to whisper.::
Phelen: Okay Fission....now....do YOU...have the balls to go all the way?
::Kell begins to walk outside the cage and starts to climb it.::
GP: What did Kell say to Fission?
Shallow: He's climbing the cage! And here comes Fission right behind him! Just a few steps behind!
GP: They're heading to the top! Kell is at the top and is waiting! Fission is at the top! Phelen has him by the hair and pulls him to the top!
::Kell and Syphon, just like last time, begin to slug it out on top of the cage. They bash eachother across the face. They both wind back with haymakers and smash eachother. They both fall backwards onto the cage.::
GP: Phelen Kell now is the first man to get up. He's standing in the center of the cage. What the hell? He's breaking one of the support bars! He's got it in his hand! He's gonna use it as a weapon! Syphon Fission is getting up!
::Phelen winds back like a baseball bat and cracks Fission across the head with it.::
Shallow: DEAR GOD THAT COULDA CRACKED HIS SKULL!
::Kell goes for the pin. The referee who is at the bottom of the cage begins a count with his hand.::
::Kell picks Fission up and lays him at the portion where he had taken the support bar from. He then begins to climb one of the chordes that the cage was lowered down with, up to the rafters.::
GP: THIS ENTIRE PLACE IS STANDING AND SCREAMING!!!! KELL IS INSANE!!! KELL IS INSANE! HE'S GONNA JUMP! MY GOD!
::Phelen makes it to the rafters and looks down at the cage which is ten feet beneath him.::
GP: HE JUST JUMPED! HE JUMPED! PHELEN KELL IS FALLING TOWARD TEH CAGE! HE JUST SMASHED INTO FISSION AND THROUGH THE CAGE! THROUGH THE RING MAT! THEY'RE DEAD! THEY ARE BOTH DEAD! NOONE COULD SURVIVE THAT! ITS IMPOSSIBLE!
Shallow: Ladies and gentlemen......I think we may have witnessed the death of a legend...and the death of a man...destined...to be a legend....this indeed is a sad day for everyone here in the IWO...
::The entire audience goes silent as there is no movement coming from the hole in the center of the ring. Suddenly a hand comes out of the hole.::
Shallow: WAIT! LOOK! SOMEONE IS STANDING UP! ITS SYPHON FISSION! SYPHON FISSION HAS JUST STOOD UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HOLE! HE'S CALLING FOR THE REFEREE! THE REF COMES RUNNING INSIDE OF THE RING! FISSION LAYS ON TOP OF KELL!
1.............................. 2............................. 3!!!!!!!
GP: WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! SYPHON FISSION HAS DONE IT! HERE AT CONSPIRACY THEORY SYPHON FISSION HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE! THE BELL HAS RUNG!
::Fission remains laying on top of Kell, having used the final spurt of strength he had left to call for the referee. The cage begins to raise and the referee calls for the paramedics to come down to the ring.::
GP: What a match that was! And what a meraculous ending it had!
Shallow: Oh most definately...Phelen Kell and Syphon Fission both deserve a great amount of respect after that match.
::Syphon Fission stands on his own and is barely able to hold himself up. He clutches the ring rope at the corner post with one hand. And grips the opposite rope with the other. His body is covered in sweat and blood, and feels as though he's been hit by three buses. The paramedics begin to carry a fallen Phelen Kell out on a stretcher as the fans cheer for both him and the new World Champion. Suddenly Kell comes to, and realizes whats happened. He calls for the stretcher to hault. Unable to stand on his own three paramedics help Kell to his feet. Once to his feet Phelen hobbles slowly back toward the ring, climbing inside. Fission just stares at him as Kell limps and stumbles toward him. Phelen takes the IWO title out of the referee's hand as he comes in the ring to hand it to Fission and calls for a microphone.::
Phelen: <struggling to speak> I...have....faced...many...individuals......in my career.....but...none....that have...showed.....me....the...spirit...and will...to win......that...you....have. You......truely....deserve.....this title....and I....offer.....myself....as...your new....biggest...supporter.....congratulations...and... I...know...you'll....make....me...proud.
::Kell with a tear in his eye hands Syphon the title. He extends his hand and the two of them shake hands.::
GP: What a show of sportsmanship from these two fine individuals! Everyone here in the arena is on their feet paying homage to the two warriors who've just put their lives on the line here today!
::Kell looks out toward the crowd.::
Phelen: <Finally regaining speech> This...is the last time...you will see Phelen Kell...in an IWO wrestling match.
::The crowd once more goes silent. A look of surprise graces even Syphon Fissions face.::
Phelen: In...my....career....I have accomplished....every goal....I've ever had....and then some.
..Evan Levine....is no more....and the IWO....world title...once more....shines...as the brightest star...in the sky.....and the time has come.....for me...to say....goodbye.
::Kell pauses struggling to stand still.::
Phelen: Before...I go...I have a few things...to say. To High Flyer, my friend...even though I never showed it...Hostile V.I.A.G.R.A was one of the most....entertaining periods...of my life...and I'm glad we are friends..and I'm sure...we'll continue...to see alot of...each other. I wish you the best. Donnie Daze....you....are one of the finest atheletes...I've ever been inside of a ring with. And unfortunately....are one of the most...underrated.....superstars...in the IWO....there is IWO World title gold in your future...strive for it...cuz when you get it... you'll no doubt....be one of the greatest champions ever.......to....Vice President Evan....no...matter what anyone says...you've done one hell of a job with the IWO...and you continue...to do so. Everyone....on the staff....has done a marvelous job. Jamie Kosoy...thank you....for making....my experiences in the IWO....possible. To the fans.....thank....each...and every...one of you....for making my life so much greater. And finally...
::Kell turns towards Syphon Fission.::
Phelen: Thank you....for making my final match......that much more extravigant. I wish you only the best with your reign as the IWO's World Heavyweight Champion....and.....you....have earned....my undying respect.
::"Sober" by TOOL begins to play as Phelen hobbles toward the end of the ring and attempts to get out. He falls to the floor, but refuses assistance to stand, and walks himself out of the arena. At the ramp he turns around one last time and waves goodbye for good. He pulls the microphone up again.::
Phelen: Hey...I'm not the champion. Hit the music.::
::"Papercut" by Linkin Park begins to play and the fans go insane as Syphon Fission stands up on the turnbuckle holding up his newly won IWO World Title. A huge smile graces his face through the crimson mask as the fans chant his name.::
GP: What an evening it as been ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us here on IWO Conspiracy Theory 2.
Shallow: We've seen titles change hands...we've seen men earn the right to via for the IWO title...we've seen Legends pass....and we've seen this man Syphon Fission....take his place....among a select club...the World Championship Club.
GP: For JT and Johnny Shallow, I'm Greg Parker, good ni..............................
[All of a sudden "Divine" By KoRn starts to play as the fans go NUTS!!!! The announcers piss there pants as Syphon looks up at the stage. Kell himself who was still at the top of the stage turns around and looks as the fans wait to see who they all wanted to.]
GP: CAN IT BE?!?!?!
JT: IS IT?!?!?!
Shallow: IT CANT BE!?!?!? CAN IT!?!?!?!
[The fans still on there feet still look at the entrance as "Divine" By KoRn still plays]
GP: Is this who was beating on Jamie...is this who was pushing Jamie around?
[All of a sudden "Divine" By KoRn just dies out as the words "THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMMING" Comes over it and "I Am Your Boogie Man" By White Zombie starts to play as the fans go from cheers to boos.]
Shallow: OH HELL NO!!!!!
[Then without warning the former IWO WORLD CHAMP!!! "Real Heel" Evan Levine comes out to HUGE HEAT!]
JT: YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!! GOD YES!!!!
GP: FANS THE REAL HEEL IS BACK!!!!!!!!!
[Kells eyes just about pop out of his head as Evan walks right up to his face and smiles at him. Evan then side steps Kell and walks down to the ring and gets it taking the mic from Meygon]
GP: OH GOD...............
Evan: I'M BACK!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Evan: However, I'm not back like you think. You see I came here tonight to force Jamie into signing me back to the IWO, but as I was driving here, I thought... HEY!!! WHY JUST GET MY CONTRACT BACK, WHY NOT THE IWO?
Shallow: I don't like where this is going!
Evan: SO! With some thought and money, I had my lawyer draw up this very contract, and do you fat ignorant hicks know what this contract makes me?
JT: NO TELL US EVAN!!!!!!!
Evan: THE NEW!!!!!! IWO PRESIDENT!!!!!!!
[The fans give major heat as the camera zooms in on Kells eyes and Syphon's.]
GP: MY GOD MY GOD!!!
Evan: Jamie is gone, THE KING IS DEAD, LONG LIVE!!!!!!!! PRESIDENT EVAN LEVINE!!!!!!!
JT: YES! A PREZ I CAN LOVE!
Shallow: MY GOD!!! IT REALLY WAS A CONSPIRACY THEORY!
GP: MY GOD FANS WERE OUT OF TIME!!! JOIN US TOMORROW FOR MNM!!!!!!!!
[The scene dies out with a shot of Evan laughing in the ring, and Syphon standing behind him looking poised for attack.]