Ice Age IV
December 30th, 2001
*The following is intended for a pay-per-view viewing audience. If you do not like mature subject matters then please do not read*
A slow image appears over the screen...
"Dedicated to those that lost their lives at and because of September 11th, 2001, and all those lost throughout the year. Our Hearts are with you."
A caption located at the bottom, near the top, an image of a New York City fireman, and a police officer standing, looking on at the chaos....
The image fades, and another replaces it.
"And a special dedication to a man who dreamed of a better world.... Ed Wilson."
Another slowly fade, before the words IWO-Online flash on the screen, three times, each inducing a swish sound, like a sword. Suddenly, they are frozen, a crackling sound as the words turn to Ice, and then slowly melt off screen.
"Pull Me Under" by Dream Theater...
A forest appears, a calming wind slowly russles the leaves, when slowly, snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. Getting heavier with each passing moment, they begin to accumulate on the soft cold ground rather quickly. Almost in a time lapse effect, but it seems natural... It is natural.
The snow doesn't stop, slowly falling from the heavens. An unwanted gift....
Each snowflake, has it's own identity. As they fall, the view slowly comes closer, to see what's going on. We see an image of Phelen Kell diving from the top rope onto Evan Levine from last years Ice Age, inside the large snowflake that had fell from the sky. It quickly diminishes, as another replaces it. One of Dane Wilt leaping off of the top rope, nailing Phelen Kell with the Box Office Smash, from 1999...
A snowflake falls, the embracing scene of Gunnar Smith and Capital Punishment, in unity from 1999, Sam Potright leaping six stories with Christ Air in 2000 onto a prone Syphon Fission. Evan Levine nailing the referee with Conceptual Perfection... each displayed in their own individual snowflakes, each falling more rapidly by the moment...
Dane Wilt catching Evan Levine with the Face Lift in the Gladiator match, Syphon Fission nailing the Death Plunge on Sam Potright, the Malicious intent locked in by Phelen Kell on Dane Wilt...
The Raging One shattering a glass bat over the head of Dan Hopkins, the Mysterious One nailing the Mysterious Death Driver onto Titan, Mad Max diving from the top rope onto a moving John McRae, Al Coholic nailing Chrome Thunder with a glass beer bottle, Gunnar Smith nailing the Dogginator on Ken War...
Kevin Martin, driving Mac D. through a table with a ddt, AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) nailing Knock Your Freakin' Head off on Joey Malone, Billy Ray with the beer bomb on Donnie Daze...image after image, it's never ending.
High Flyer wriggling out of LiGiL's palindrome, and nailing Cold Snow, Spaz with a triple powerbomb on High Flyer, and then, images of Phelen Kell, and Dane Wilt, holding their respected championships high in the sky...
That all fades out, to the larger picture, the forest, engulfed in snow. Snow, mounds of it.... turning to ice.
And then, it moves away... flows away from the world...
"An Ice Age is apon us..."
Obviously a bit quicker than a normal ice age, the world is renewed, back to square one... the scene fading to blackness...
"Enjoy the Silence" as preformed by Failure...
Words like violence
An image of Matt Rivers slamming Simon Seaman with a glass plate.
Break the silence
Shards glass lie surrounding a fallen Seaman
Come crashing in
Images of Seaman holding a glass plate in his hands.
Into my little world
An image of the glass hell in a cell.
All I ever wanted
An image of Matt Rivers, holding the World Championship in his hands...
All I ever needed
Images of Simon Seaman holding the championship around his waist.
Is here in my arms
An image from UO, The referee in the center of Matt Rivers and Simon Seaman, holding the championship high.
Words are very unnecessary
The Ice Age IV Graphic shown...
They can only do harm
The Final graphic, Matt Rivers, Simon Seaman, and LLB in the middle in the stripes...
And with that, the picture shatters, revealing the Cow Palace in San Francisco, California. Fans are on their feet, holding up signs supporting their favorite wrestlers, and doing something even more, loud piercing screams at the start of such a dramatic event. The camera eventually rests on Greg Parker, and JT, standing next to their announce position.
JT: *Barely being heard* Why do we have to stand at the start...
GP: FANS! WELCOME TO ICE AGE FOUR! THE DRAMA ENDS HERE TONIGHT! THE ROADS HAVE LEAD TO THIS FINAL CONFLICT, AND THE SCORE WILL BE SETTLED!
JT: THAT'S RIGHT! SIMON SEAMAN WILL WALK IN CHAMP, AND HE'LL WALK OUT GLOATING TO ALL YOU DISBELIEVERS!
GP: AND THAT WILL ALL BE CONDUCTED BY THE LAW, LLB, jOlt SUPERSTAR!
JT: AND IN A BURIED ALIVE MATCH, NUKE WILL KILL SYPHON FISSION! HE WILL KILL SYPHON, AND BURY HIM SIX FEET UNDER!
GP: And finally, we can lower our voices.
JT: FUCK THAT PARKER! I'M FUCKEN HYPED! WHERE THE HELL IS NIKKI WHEN YOU NEED TO RELEASE SOME BODILY ENERGY!
Greg Parker rears back, cold clocking JT backwards, up and over the announce booth, and straight into his chair.
GP: Hey, my accuracy is going up too.
JT: Fuck off Parker.
GP: Believe me JT, nothing you can say or do diminish the feeling in the air. It's all going to end tonight. Champions will become legends, legacies, will become immortalized. Everything happens tonight, everything ends tonight... and I believe we start off our evening... with a pre-recorded segment... a movie if you will, involving Scott Styles and Porn Julius?
JT: Fuck that. I don't watch anything without popcorn, and good popcorn I might add. Something with a buttery tang...
Suddenly, JT is handed a bag of popcorn. His face lights up in glee.
JT: Hmmmm, I wonder... Oh yes, I also don't watch movies without three spanish prostitutes felating me...
JT: DAMN YOU ALL!
Porn Julius: Enter my creation. I am Porn Julius, the man that is always "there". After weeks and weeks of the embarrassment of Scott Styles, I have decided to take my sick fetish a step forward and cultivate a live action movie of me incinerating Scott Styles to a bloody pulp. A cult classic, no more. The following characters are real and prerecorded on Friday night. And now, the day of great impetus. Dictator Scott Styles, no more. Indulge, friends...
The world starts at a pay phone. A simple, erect pay phone in the alley of some a town that lays in shambles. This pay phone looks like it has seen it's share of tradegies and faded memories. It stands there alone, watching old, crumpled pieces of the New York Times float powerlessly by. Long ago, the pay phone came to the realization that papers would come and go, as well as people. They are not neglecting you by utterly aimless arguments to a loved one or degrading your dignity by calling 900 numbers. Like a payphone has dignity.
The pay phone looks sternly at the guy from above. The narrator. Um, let's just make the narrator...uh..let's go with God for kicks.
God: It wasn't me that said that, my child. It was...
God uses his intangible abilities to turn a trash can into a bum, that looks equally trashy.
God: Him! That vagrant over there!
Vagrant Daniel: Que?
God decimates Vagrant Daniel just by thinking those malignant thoughts about how wrong Islam is.
God: Hehehe, Muhammad, my arse. Who the fizzuck calls their creator 'Allah'. I CONDEMN THEE!
Osama bin Laden pops out of no where.
Osama bin Laden: I coulda sworn Allah told me I would be granted eternal paradise in Allah's kitchen. Boo hoo.
God turns bin Laden's turban into the entire American population, who slowly beat the living fucking shit out of the towelhead with herrings.
We cut back to the pay phone.
Pay Phone: Not appealing.
God: Oh? I smell a pay phone losing his faith that is no good! Porn Julius, my disciple! Come to me!
A great celestial light comes from the ground of the pay phone. It appears that the pay phone can be used as some telepartation device. A monotonous song hummed by a thousand N'Sync screaming at once is heard and his almighty emerges. Porn Julius inhales the ambience around him and begins a rant.
Porn Julius: My intuition tells me that we have one of God's creatures questioning his faith in God.
God: Your extrasensory abilites serve you well, my child. Now, dispose of this non-believer.
Porn Julius: My Messiah, I thought you were a non-militant, forgiving god?
God: Oh, I am. But a I am also a god that thrives of Star Wars flicks. Who else could have given George Lucas the ability to create such a noble creature as Chewbacca?
God: Now, my child. Take this neolithic version of the lightsaber, modified with this manipulation device...which you will need in your next challenge.
Porn Julius takes the lightsaber.
Porn Julius: Next challenge?
God: No questions asked. Now, for my entertainment! SLICE THE SHREADS OUT OF THE PAY PHONE!
Cut to Porn Julius in his studio, typing up the script of this creation.
Porn Julius: Perplexing, I am a methodist gone agnostic yet I seem to be potraying God as malevolent and non-forgiving. No good. Deism tells me that God created me but gave my free will otherwise, why would he put a Hitler on Earth?
Midget Jamie/Hitler: MEIN ARSE!
Porn Julius: Kosoy, get back into the closet for a while. I haven't even written you into the script yet. I assure you, though. You will have a role sooner or later.
Midget Jamie/Hitler impressionist holds his head high, as a good Jew should.
Porn Julius: Now! Back to my masterpiece.
Where we left of, Porn Julius was commanded by the divine father himself to do away with a pay phone that was losing his faith in God, how fun. Well, Porn Julius did as he was told and Mr. pay phone is no more. Goodbye, pay phone.
God: Good, good. And with that, Porn. I grant you a promotion. Ever since Loki was exiled to Wisconsin, we have been without an Angel of Death. Your great lightsaber dueling skills have impressed me.
Porn Julius: Angel of Death? Sounds tasty! But Loki, wasn't he created by Kevin Smith in Dogma? Ya know, religious fantasy, much like this little flick I am writing in my studio right now is. It's fun writing what you are doing right now into the script. Like, it's a movie and I am talking about the script of this movie. Like what I am saying now...all on a script.
God: Wow. How manipulating. You can just make me say whatever I want. Porn Julius, for your crimes you will have to prove to me that you are worthy of being my Angel of Death and serve divine justice well.
Porn Julius: And how will I prove that?
God: By using your lightsaber to kill the person you have manipulated the most...
Porn Julius: God, no!
God: SCOTT STYLES!
Porn Julius: Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ pops out on no where.
Jesus Christ: WHAT?!
Porn Julius: It's just a saying, my lord.
Jesus Christ: Ugh. How come everytime someone utters the phrase I have to respond, my father?
God: Because deism says that I cannot hear the people's prayers. You can hear them, my son. The world isn't fair. During the Genesis, I never attended it to be. Now, I am sidetracked again. Porn, I give you Scott Styles before you...kill at will!
Scott Styles falls from the sky, but lands on a trampoline. The landing isn't rough. Porn giggles as Styles bounces up and down, trying to regain his balance to the surface. Mills Lane comes out in a thong to be the referee.
Mills Lane: And now, the rules, gentlemen. Styles, to your corner. Julius, to your corner.
Styles goes to his corner to hyperventalate. I mean... it is God?
Mills Lane: This match will not be remotely fair since Porn Julius is in his studio now writting the script to this movie, just to exploit how dumb Scott Styles is. Styles, do you understand?
Scott Styles: say man u dont like this match. tough. i am a former iwo black champion. u dunt like it. tough. even tho, i wasnt deserving of the title. nor was xavier hall for that matter tough.
God: Please shut him up.
Porn Julius swings a mighty blow with his lightsaber, a volcano of blood erupts, as Styles is split into two pieces. His upper half goes to his lower half...to ..... yeah....
Cut back to Porn Julius morphing into Hitler impressionist, Jamie Kosoy. Kosoy puts on a nazi uniform and cute little Hitler moustache.
Kosoy/Hitler: Ooga booga! Styles, I am Jamie Kosoy, president of the IWO. I am here to grant you something you will like very much...an IWO World Title shot.
Kosoy/Hitler: Yes, yes. Now all you have to do in order to get this shot is email the IWO roleplay list and tell them all to sodomize Tom Ford. Sound easy?
Styles: ok cool
Styles retreats back to the library where he accesses the Internet from a computer. He does as he is told by the higher power, Kosoy/Hitler and emails the IWO roleplay list. The Communist Manifesto, written by Karl Marx, morphs into Jamie Kosoy/Hitler, as he goes over to watch Styles' progress. A book on communism morphing into a communistic leader. Imagine the odds!
Kosoy/Hitler: Well done, Styles. Lemme see this email!
Styles pulls up the email. Which reads:
To: IWO Roleplay List
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Note: Styles' real email address. I encourage everyone to email Styles and tell him how everyone hates him.)
Subject: beware iwo! muuahahahaha
heeeey-aaaa! it be me, scott styles! RUFF RUFF HAHAHA! who let da dawgs out! YIPPY-I-O! anywayzzzz, i like to sodomize tom ford!!! EHHEEHEQHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHGEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE H!!!! FUN, FUN! weeeeeeeellll im out
Cut back to Styles and Kosoy/Hitler.
Kosoy/Hitler morphs back into Porn Julius.
Porn Julius: HERE'S JOHNNY!
Styles: oh no
God: What a plot twist! Now, Angel of Death, finish him!
Porn Julius does that wicked cool morphing into a dragon deal that Liu Kang did in Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation. Lame movie, cool move! Porn Julius breathes fire at the infidel Styles and he is burnt to a crisp. The entire IWO roster, past and present comes out to piss on his ashes. From Psycho Jay to Mad Max to the Mysterious Birdman to Koko B. Ware to Jax Stone, everyone is present. In a flash, everything is gone. We cut back to Porn Julius in his studio, now finished with the movie script. He stands a waltzes over to another room.
Porn Julius: Ya know, a little known hobby of mine is manipulation. Manipulation gets me what I want and humors the bejeezus out of me. More recently, I have found another way to manipulate people.
Porn Julius pulls out puppets of Scott Styles animating in the entire set of his movie. The pay phone is there, the Vagrant Daniel, the newspapers on the ground and the dark New York alley. All there.
Porn Julius: Puppets. Puppets. The entire short that you have just witnessed was all taped in my studio using puppetry, a fine art. Now if I can manipulate a world using puppets that I created in my studio, don't you wonder if God is manipulating us from his created world from above?
God pops into the white desert of nothing, applauding.
God: Very well, Porn. That is a question that may never be answer. My people need to be tamed somehow.
Porn Julius: But how would that explain Hitler?
God expells Hitler/Kosoy to Wisconsin for the entire course of human life.
God: There will be leaks in the system, such as Hitler and Napoleon, but for the most part I have the world under control. Famine, pestilence, depression and war are things that make life what they are. They may be unjustified things, but without them life would be perfect, you see.
Porn Julius: But why can't life be perfect?
God: Because the people would not have a reason to come to my kingdom...Heaven.
Porn Julius: That's understandable.
God: And with that...are you reading to start your post as Angel of Death, Porn Julius?
Porn Julius: More ready than ever.
God: Great. Your first assignment is one you should be very familiar with. The IWO. A brute society built on the foundation of violence. I need you to shut down this establishment and show these wretched souls the light.
Porn Julius: Take down the IWO? But I have made so many good friends there.
God: As Angel of Death, you need no friends. Now, do you want this assignment or should I manipulate Mad Max into being the Angel of Death?
Porn Julius: God, no. I wake up three times a night just thinking about a world as my compadre Max being in charge of who dies on Earth.
Porn Julius: I accept.
God: Good, good. Now, you are off to Mt. Laurel, the headquarters of the IWO. Godspeed, Porn.
Porn Julius stands in silence for some time. He grabs his lightsaber and walks off into the horizon, embarking on a new journey...the end of the IWO.
The scene fades back to the ringway, as Greg Parker and JT just sort of look on to one another. An ackward silence ensues, as JT and Greg Parker try to coax the other into commenting on the piece of artwork...
Erik Blake vs. Ben O'Connor
GP: Uhmmm... let's just... go... because... IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S --
JT: PORN TIME!
JT: Crap. So what time is it, then?
Parker thinks about this for a second.
GP: Er... uh... it's time for Erik Blake and Ben O' Connor to face off, mano e mano!
JT: You just said "mauno". That means crap, right? Well, it's an Erik Blake match.
GP: Could you be any more negative about our talent?
"Unbelievable" by EMF hits.
JT: AHHHHHH! EARLY 90'S ROCK!
The crowd cheers as Ben O' Connor, the 302 MAN O BUBBLY LOVE, makes his way out into the tiny space between the ravenous fans called the "entryway aisle". He's big enough, you could say, to really make it tiny. Fans slap at his chest and his back... and the man makes his way onto the ring apron. He raises one arm in the air, looking back at the space he just squeezed through... and gets in the ring.
"Fight Music" by D-12 hits the airwaves, shocking everyone's ears with the nastiest, dirtiest... most disgusting... vomit-inducing... wildly entertaining... rap music they've ever heard. And using that music to bound out between the fans, is none other than the one, the only, the... Erik Blake?
JT: You would think that someone that came from the same city as Phelen Kell would have some talent, BY GOLLY!
GP: He has talent!
JT: Does not!
Thankfully for JT, Blake can't hear him. He walks to the ring, and Ben O' Connor stands, waiting for him. Blake stands at the bottom of the ramp, looking up into the big man's face.
He jumps onto the apron. O' Connor attacks, sending Blake back down to the floor on his feet. Blake takes a couple of steps back... and gets back up. O' Connor takes him down again! Blake thinks for a second... then gets a
shocked statement on his face. He points out into the crowd, and O' Connor looks away!
Blake gets in and hits O' Connor with a knee to the back!
O' Connor turns around.
Blake gets back out of the ring.
Blake walks around the ring... looking for a chance to get in and not have to deal with O' Connor face to face.
He slides in, O' Connor runs and swings a boot at him. Blake makes a few more circles around the ring, and finally rolls in to be in front of the turnbuckle. O' Connor charges, and Blake rolls out of the way -- O' Connor smacks the turnbuckle, instead! Blake gets back to his feet, and goes to give O' Connor a German Suplex... but O' Connor doesn't budge.
With a grunt, Blake tries it again.
GP: GRUNTING GERMAN SUPLEX ATTEMPT!
JT: "Grunting" German Suplex? That doesn't exist.
Blake gives up on it, walking away. O' Connor turns around and charges at Blake -- to which Blake responds by jumping out of the way.
And into an O' Connor clothesline, collapsing the calmly knocked out Blake. O' Connor grabs the man's practically lifeless form and drags it to it's feet, and puts Erik into the corner. Ben O' Connor goes to the opposite corner, turns around... assumes a three-point stance...
GP: WATCH IT! WE DON'T NEED TO GET SUED BY A REDNECK!
JT: We've had it happen a million times before, though.
O' Connor rushes forward with all his strength.
GP: O' CONNOR CRUSHER! BLAKE IS DEAD AND GONE, ALL IT TAKES IS A FORK AND YOU CAN ADD DONE TO THAT!
JT: That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
GP: Can you make a revelant comment, please? O' Connor dragging Blake with one arm... he sets him up...
O' Connor hoists Blake up into the air.
GP: Big Bottom time!
GP: WAIT! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!
GP: THE HIGHLIGHTER! THE HIGHLIGHTER! OH GOOD LORD, IT COULDN'T HAPPEN! ESPECIALLY AT ICE AGE!
O' Connor's body goes crashing into the mat, and the man appropriately nicknamed "Big" rolls to his back. Meanwhile... Blake...
GP: ... HE... HE'S COVERED HIM! ONE........ TWO............ THREE!
JT is drinking some Gatorade at this moment. You can guess what he does with it as it's in his mouth.
JT: *spits Gatorade all over the place* WHA... wha... *cough* WHAT?
As if this point wasn't driven home enough, "Fight Music" plays again.
GP: ERIK BLAKE JUST WON AN ICE AGE MATCH! BLAKE HAS JUST WON AN ICE AGE MATCH! HE'S GOING DOWN IN HISTORY! AS A WINNER! AS... A... WINNER!
JT: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? WHO MIXED UP THE BOOKING? BLAKE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LOSER! Well...... he is.... but BESIDES THAT!
Erik Blake has his hand raised. The crowd goes nuts.
GP: THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED! AND WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN!
Mad Max vs Sebastian Leifel
GP: Now we have a match that has absolutely no significance whatsoever. I'm sure you people at home need a bathroom break, after all this is Pay-Per-View and there are no commercial breaks.
JT: Normally I would agree with you, but Mad Max is competing, and when Mad Max is competing something crazy is bound to happen.
GP: I thought you didn't like Mad Max?
JT: Nobody knows who I like or don't like anymore. It kinda seems like the words coming out of my mouth are written by 10 different people and all 10 of em don't pay attention and therefore have me saying mighty contradicting stuff.
GP: Uhh, insightful.
"Destro's Secret" by Dillinger Escape Plan starts playing as Mad Max makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop. Max runs down the rampway and slides in under the ropes.
*Dingly Ding Ding*
Meygon: The following match is between Mad Max and Sebastian Leifel! First, in the ring, weighing 298 pounds, MAD MAX!!!!
GP: And there's Max, acting zany and Mad Maxy as usual.
Then with the magic of zaniess, Leifel appears out of the sky and starts pounding away at Max. Meygon gets pushed aside by Leifel and then he starts to stomp away at Max.
JT: Oh wow, that's original. Appear out of nowhere and start pounding away.
Leifel picks Max up and delivers a quick snap suplex. He rolls over for the cover. One ... quick kickout by Max. Leifel now grabs a fistful of Max's hair and slams him into the turnbuckle. Leifel now shoulders Max right in the gut. And again! And Again!
GP: Leifel has taken the early offensive here.
Leifel now delivers a hard right to the face of Max. He attempts another but Max blocks it and throws Leifel back into the turnbuckle. Max kicks Leifel in the gut, DDT. Leifel hits the floor and bounces back like a rag doll. Max now rolls to the outside and grabs a chair.
JT: Uh-oh, Max going back to his extreme roots.
Max rolls back into the ring. Leifel is up on his feet as well. Max throws the chair at Leifel. He catches and Max turn kicks the chair right into Leifel's face.
GP: Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.
Max goes for the cover. One ... two ... kickout by Leifel.
JT: And quite conveniently Max has come back and taken the advantage. Why do I feel that the tide will change every couple of minutes?
And as if on cue, as Max picks up Leifel he pokes Max in the eye. Max staggers back and Leifel spears Max. Leifel now starts pounding away on Max, lefts and rights, rights and lefts.
JT: What a surprise.
But then, Max kicks Leifel in the balls.
JT: THE TIDES HAVE TURNED AGAIN!
Leifel in return kicks Max in the groin.
JT: AND AGAIN!
GP taks an elephant tranquilizer and slowly injects JT with it. JT slumps over.
GP: God, stupid bitch just won't shut up.
Leifel and Max engage in a lot of petty wrestling moves. They go back and forth and back and forth. Then out of nowhere, Leifel does his big bad finisher. Oh no! Looks like trouble for Mad Max!
GP: What's this?!
YUN IN A DRESS!!
A small Asian kid in a dress! He rushes the wring with a baseball bat! He nails Leifel with it. Max covers Leifel! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!
Meygon: The winner of this match ... Mad Max!
GP: Mad Max wins thanks to a crazy Asian!!!!
GP : OK, up next we've got Schitzo Tod vs. Joey Rappoport.
JT : Oh, come on, just what in the hell is the point of this match? It couldn't be more obviouser that Rappoport is gonna kick Tod's ass. The Schitzo doesn't even have a chance!
GP : More obviouser?
JT : Quiet, Porker. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I GOT YOU GOOD ON THAT ONE, MAN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GP : Uh ... yeah. I think you underestimate Tod, JT. On a recent HT, he got a pin over our own World champion, Simon Seaman.
JT : That was pure luck.
GP : Oh, really? Then I guess it was pure luck when Seaman beat Jack Breaker last night.
JT : No, that was pure skill.
GP : What about when Matt Rivers handed Seaman his ass with that pane of glass a few weeks ago?
JT : That was pure crack cocaine.
GP : (Sigh) Let's just get to the introductions for this match.
Meygon is in the ring, looking quite skankylicious, as always.
Meygon : Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall!
The fans inexplicably pop. Perhaps they just really like those crazy one fall matches.
Meygon : Introducing first, a former IWO World champion, and a quote/unquote "legend" of the IWO ... hailing from Fall's Landing, New Jersey ... weighing in at 238 pounds, and standing at 6'3" ... he has also held the Pacific
title and the Intercontinental Tag Titles ... the master of the "Kamikaze Kick" ... accompanied by Benny the Cameraman, with who Joey has an entirely platonic relationship ... the Kamikaze Kid, JOOOEEEEYYYYY
Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" plays as Joey Rappoport and Benny the Cameraman step out from backstage. They're greeted by a decent pop, and both men stroll down to the ring, grins on their faces.
jT : (Completely off-key) I think it's PLAIN to see I AM my own worst Enemy! Duh duh DUDUDUH, duh duh DUDUDUH!
GP : (Covering his ears) Damn it, JT, shut your hole!
JT : Hey, man, don't interrupt me while I'm rocking out!
GP : The only thing "rocking" about that was ... was ... well, you get the drift.
JT : Heh heh. Still master of the insult, huh, Porker? SCORE ANOTHER ONE FOR THE JT-MEISTER!
GP : (Shaking his head) OK, GP, just remember what the IWO psychiatrist told you ... if you kill him, they might fire you.
Joey has by now made his way into the ring, where he is awaiting his opponent.
Meygon : And now, his opponent ... some say he is the most underrated IWO superstar today, and some were shocked to learn that he's still in the IWO ... hailing from Long Beach, California - wait, isn't he straight? Hmm,
weird ... weighing 235 pounds and standing at 6'1" ... a former IWO World and Intercontinental Tag, Extreme, and TV champion ... the master of the Tod Annihilation Maneuver, or TAM ... accompanied by his many personalities
... IWO's resident schitzophrenic, SCHITZOOOOO TOOOOODDDDDD!!!
"Date Rape" by Sublime plays as Tod makes his way out from the back, actually looking determined for once. He runs down to the ring and slides in, glaring down Joey.
GP : Tod really seems determined as of late to step out of his friend AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s shadow.
JT : Hah! If he's living in THAT moron's shadow, then how the hell does he ever expect to make a name for himself?
GP : Some would say that Tod's already made a pretty big name for himself.
JT : People in insane asylums don't count, Porker.
GP : Stop calling me that!
JT : Oh, I haven't even begun to start calling you that, Porker ... OK, now I'm done.
The bell rings, and the two men lock up. Joey uses his greater size advantage to shove Tod back into the turnbuckle. Tod charges back out and locks up again, only for the same thing to happen. Looking frustrated,
Tod once again runs forward to lock up, but this time slides down low to go between Joey's legs. Tod jumps up, and when Rappoport turns around, Joey is greeted by a kick to the shin.
GP : TAM! TAM!
JT : Already?
Joey falls down, clutching his shin. Tod jumps on him and hooks his leg for the cover.
Ref : 1 ... 2 ..
Joey kicks out right after the two-count.
GP : Well, the TAM wasn't enough to beat Joey - at least, not this early in the match.
JT : That move isn't enough to beat a drunken prostitute nun on Thursday.
GP : So... Seaman is worth less than a drunken prostitute nun then?
JT: No, that was a friday.
Joey rolls over to a crouching position, then leaps up and nails Tod with a vicious clothesline. Joey waits for Tod to woozily stand up, and then goes for his Kamikaze Kick (superkick), but Tod ducks and catches Joey in a
JT : Here we go. This move is going to make this match more boring than a retarded narcoleptic construction worker on Sunday.
GP : Are your analogies even supposed to make sense?
JT : I'm not sure anymore ... but I'm guessing 'no.'
Joey squirms around a little in the hold before starting to go down. He suddenly twists his head and body to the side to slip out of the sleeper, and punches Tod right in the face. Tod falls as the referee starts to admonish
GP : That was a pretty cheap tactic by Joey. I thought he was a face.
JT : Actually, he defines himself as "neutral," so he can get cheered by the fans and still do stuff like that.
GP : Ah.
Joey gets a few boos from the crowd, but he doesn't seem to notice as he goes to pick up Tod. As he does so, though, Tod springs to life and grabs Joey by the legs and backside, propelling him forward and through the
ropes to the outside.
GP : That was a veteran move by Tod.
JT : Tod's not a veteran!
GP : Well, he HAS been here consistently longer than the majority of the IWO roster.
JT : Oh, so now just because he's been wrestling a long time he's automatically a "veteran"?
GP : Um ... yeah, that's pretty much how it works, JT.
JT : Oh ... Well, I'll be damned.
Tod does the little spinning fist motion that signifies an upcoming high-flying move and mounts the top turnbuckle. As Rappoport stands up, Tod leaps with a flying crossbody, driving Joey back first into the
guardrail. Tod rolls around clutching his stomach over-dramatically, à la Rob Van Dam after hitting a frog splash.
GP : Scintillating cross body by Schitzo Tod!
JT : Scintillating? The hell?
GP : Oh, shut up, J-PEE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Who's the clever one now?!
JT : You just don't get humor, do you Porker?
Tod recovers before Joey, and picks up a chair lying nearby. He walks up behind Joey and waits for the former World champ to stand. As Joey gets to his feet, Tod rears back his chair to strike with, but Joey leaps and
catches Tod with a Van Daminator-type move. Breathing heavily, Joey climbs up onto the apron and waits for Tod to get up.
GP : What's Joey going for now?!
JT : I dunno, but I sure could go for some ribs right now.
Tod makes his way to his feet, grabbing the chair on the way up. Joey, not seeing this, springs off the ropes for an Asai moonsault, but Tod smacks him in the face on the way down with the steel chair.
GP : Ooh! What a counter by Tod!
JT : You know he still has a negative chance of winning, right?
GP : Negative chance?
JT : Well, yeah. No chance would be giving him too much of a chance.
Tod picks up Joey and throws him into the ring. Tod mounts the top turnbuckle and signals for Rappoport to get up. When he does so, Tod leaps with a missile dropkick, bringing Joey down hard. Tod scrambles for the cover.
Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3-
Joey gets the shoulder up in time.
GP : That was a near fall for Tod!
JT : Well ... maybe his chances have improved to none.
Tod picks up Joey and starts nailing him with right hands. Getting Joey woozy, he signals for the TAM and rears his foot back, but Joey springs forward and catches Tod in the gut with a knee. He grabs Tod by the head for a DDT, but Tod squirms out and slips behind Joey, bringing him up and over with a German suplex. Instead of bridging for the cover, Tod picks Joey up and whips him towards the ropes, which Joey reverses. Tod ducks under a forearm by Rappoport and bounces off the opposite ropes, but is caught on the way back with the Kamikaze Kick!
GP : Oh! Kamikaze Kick from out of nowhere!
JT : You see? Tod put up a good fight there at the end, but he really never stood a chance against Joey.
Joey drops down for the cover.
Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3-
The ref stops the count, seeing as Tod somehow got his foot on the ropes.
JT : Oh, come on! I don't even especially like Rappoport, but he needs to hurry up and beat this loser!
GP : Tod is not a loser, JT, as I think he's proving tonight!
JT : Yeah, whatever, ya loser lover.
Frustrated, Joey rips Tod to his feet, kicks him in the gut to double him over, and nails Tod with a fisherman's buster. He hooks the leg for a cover, smirking confidently as Benny the Cameraman cheers him on.
Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3-
Tod gets the shoulder up at the last possible split second.
JT : What?!
GP : Tod's showing a lot of heart tonight!
Joey once again rips Tod to his feet. He punches him back into the turnbuckle and whips him to the opposite corner, charging after him. Tod manages to get his arms out and hand spring back over Joey's head. Rappoport sticks his hands out to keep from smashing into the turnbuckle and turns around, only to be kicked in the shin.
GP : The TAM! The TAM!
Tod picks Joey up and nails him with the Unprettier version of the TAM. He rolls Joey over and hooks the leg.
Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3!
GP : My God! What an upset! Schitzo Tod just beat IWO legend Joey Rappoport!
JT : (Spits out milk that he wasn't drinking) WHHHHAAAAAAT?!
Tod raises to his feet, slowly, as Rappy regains himself slowly as well. Rappy doesn't believe that Tod beat him, but when Tod's hand is raised, Rappy drops his jaw. He slides out of the ring, as he slowly heads to the backstage area...
Fade to a black screen. "Rock and Roll" by Led Zeppelin plays faintly in the background, picking up volume as we open on an image of Rodeo Daniels,manhandling Jack Breaker's wife in a locker room a few weeks back.
Music: It's been a long time since I rock and rolled...
An image of Simon Seaman, bursting into Jack Breaker's locker room two weeks ago flashes across the screen. We see Simon tackle Jack to the ground and throw Aubrey against the wall.
Music: It's been a long time since I did the stroll...
We see Aubrey Breaker battling Eye Suk last week. We see Rodeo Daniels run in from the crowd, and bash her head into the mat.
Music: Carry me back, carry me back, baby where I come from...
We see Jake Walker rush in to the scene, taking out Rodeo's knees with a broomstick. We see Jake stand straight up against the cheering crowd, we see Jake acknowlege the fans with a wave of his hand while delivering a hook jab to Rodeo with the other. Pan across the crowd to a group of women holding a giant "We Love Jake Walker" sign proudly as Jake stands tall on the IWO stage.
Music: It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long, lonely lonely time...
Fade out on a lonely picture of Jake, his back to the camera, surveying the damage in the ring... staring down Rodeo Daniels...
Fade to black.
We cut backstage, and see a stereo sitting on a table in the lounge. The tunes of "Outshined" by Soundgarden are heard, and as the camera pans, we see IWO Commissioner Steve Christ sitting on a couch. Sitting next to him is a huge black man, better known as Gray Coleman.
Gray Coleman: So you're saying that they gave me an Armani suit?
Steve Christ: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Gray Coleman: Jesus! I as-
Steve Christ: It's always got to be about Jesus, doesn't it?
Gray Coleman: I asked for Armenia! I can't believe they screwed me on this again!
All of a sudden, Doug O'Hara runs by and throws something at Steve. He looks at it, and it says "You have been warned by Doug O'Hara. Your warning level is now 20%."
Gray Coleman: Son of a bitch! You got warned to 20%!
Aaron Smith runs by and tosses a handful of similar items at Gray.
Gray Coleman: Mother fucker! I got warned all the way to 90%!
Ice Age heads elsewhere as Steve and Gray try to figure this out.
Cut backstage. We see IWO personality Nikki standing alongside returning superstar Jake Walker in front of a large Ice Age banner featuring, among others, himself and Rodeo Daniels. Nikki holds a microphone to his face.
Nikki: Well Jake, now that you're back in the IWO, is there anything you want to say?
Jake: Uh... yeah. I seriously reccomend Eggo Waffles. Man, those things kick ass.
Nikki: Riight. Any words on your match tonight with Rodeo Daniels?
Jake: Only this...
Jake grabs the mic out of Nikki's hand and stares directly into the camera.
Jake: Hey, Rodeo. Yeah, I know you're there somewhere. You may think it's cool to be a badass for no reason and generally act like a total mongoloid, but when you would stoop so low as to assault an innocent woman for no reason, you cross the line. I think I speak for everyone when I say that you deserve a lot worse than I can possibly dish out in the ring... in fact, what you deserve isn't suitable for television. But actions speak louder than words, so I'll let my actions speak for themselves when I beat you to within an inch of your pathetic excuse for a life - this one's for you, Aubrey.
As if on cue, Aubrey Breaker strolls past at that moment, carrying a bottle of water. She stops for a moment when she sees Jake.
Aubrey: Oh, Jake! Good luck out there with Rodeo. Be careful. You have no idea what that sicko is capable of.
Jake: Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. Take it easy, Aubrey.
Aubrey: You too.
Nikki: Well, any last words?
Jake: [Nervously] Last words? Before what?
Nikki: Your match, of couse.
Jake: Oh, right. Match. Uhm... yeah. WHOOOO~!
Nikki: ...Those aren't your words.
Jake: That's not EVEN a word, Nikki. I'll see you in the ring.
Nikki: I'm not going out there!
Jake: Oh, right. Why would you, after all?
Nikki: I don't know, you're the one who suggested it!
Jake: Did I? Oh, right. I did. Heh, imagine that.
Jake walks away, chuckling to himself. Nikki shakes her head.
The camera fades backstage, to see none other than Thomas Ford, the IWO President, sitting in his desk. He's twiddling his thumbs, not sure why exactly, but he is.
And then, entering the locker room, is the Law, LLB. He stood tall, almost surreal.
Thomas Ford: Glad you could make it LLB. I just need some sort of control, and Seaman is one tough man to control. I'm sure you've dealt with people like him before, being that you're a jOlt superstar and all...
LLB: You mean, Morally the jOlt champion.
LLB pointed down to his shirt, which said just that.
Thomas Ford: Yes, I can read. I did go to college and am a business major you know....
LLB glared at Ford, and Ford could tell he had gotten off on the wrong foot. Suddenly, Aaron Smith came into view, and threw an object at LLB. A message appeared, "You have been warned by Aaron Smith, your warning level has increased to 20%.," as LLB shrugged it off in Confusion. Aaron Smith ran off, as quickly, behind him, was John. John threw something at Ford, the same object, as a message come up once more.
"You have been warned annoymously. Your warning level has increased to 5%."
Thomas Ford: I know that was you John!
John runs away from the scene, as LLB just stares at Ford.
Thomas Ford: Listen, I have no idea what the hell that is...
GP: Well fans, up next we have a retirement match between Jake Walker and Rodeo Daniels.
JT: You mean a quazi-retirement match.
GP: What do you mean by that?
JT: Well, no one listens to the damn things. I mean, Flyer's here in the IWO still, and he was retired by OUR World champion!
Meygon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it's a no-disqualification career vs. career match! Making his way to the ring first, from Tulsa, Oaklahoma, he weighs in at two hundred fifty-six pounds and was one half of the former Jack Daniels Connection, please welcome Rodeo Daniels!
"Hey You" by Pink Floyd hits as Rodeo struts to the ring to a chorus of boos. He carries with him a steel chair with "WALKER" spraypainted on it.
Meygon: And the challenger, from Chicago, Illinois, he weighs in at two hundred twenty-four pounds and is accompanied by his partner Jack Breaker and Aubrey Breaker, one half of the Deadlier Sins, Jake Walker!
"Space Suit" by They Might be Giants blares over the PA as Jake Walker steps out onto the stage to a tremendous ovation.
GP: This man has been out of action since August, and the fans are raring to see him get back into the ring!
As Jake heads to the ring, Jack Breaker follows, pushing a shopping cart containing Aubrey Breaker. They approach the ring, and Jake raises his left arm to the crowd, gauging their reaction. He grins wickedly as the crowd chants his name.
Jake slides into the ring and signals to Jack, who tosses a broomstick to him. He catches it and twirls it idly in his fingers. The crowd pops. Rodeo stares bullets at him.
GP: Let me tell you, there is no love lost between these two individuals! If it weren't for the referee holding them apart, there's no telling what could go down here!
JT: That's an understatement! They want to beat the shit out of each other! Woohoo! I can say 'shit' on Pay-per-View! Shit shit shit shit!
*DING DING DING!*
GP: This match is underway!
The ref steps out from between Jake and Rodeo, and they immediatley tear into each other. Rodeo gains the upper hand and tackles Jake to the ground in a flurry of rights and lefts. With all the intensity he can muster, Rodeo puts the boots to Jake's spine, stomping and kicking like a madman. Jake reaches out for the ropes, but the ref is helpless to stop him due to Rodeo's ferociousness. Instead, the ref ducks for cover near the timekeeper's table. Jake pulls himself to his feet while Rodeo rests for a moment, and uses the opportunity to get in a low blow via his broomstick. Rodeo drops to his knees, and Jake unleashes a barrage of blows to the neck and head, driving Rodeo to the mat. Jake drops down as well and swings his legs around Rodeo's neck, locking in a figure-four triangle choke hold.
GP: The Triangle of Love! We haven't seen that maneuver in months! Jake is choking the life out of Rodeo Daniels!
Rodeo struggles to his feet, but Jake tightens the hold. Rodeo cries out in agony, and eventually breaks free. He retreats to the corner, but Jake doesn't let up with his offense, nailing a missile dropkick to Rodeo's knees. Rodeo trips and lands on his back. Jake puts a foot on Rodeo's neck and another on the second rope and applies some pressure. The crowd goes wild as Jake forces the air out of Rodeo's lungs. Finally, he lets go, and with Rodeo gasping for air, launches himself off the top rope in a perfect shooting star press. He connects with Rodeo's rib cage, and rolls away. He raises his arms in victory, then motions towards the steel chair folded up against the apron. He quickly drags it into the ring, and threads Rodeo's ankle through it. He hesitates for a moment, to start the crowd in a further frenzy, and, using the ropes for leverage, thrusts all his weight on the exposed chair.
GP: MY GOD! Rodeo's ankle damn near snapped under all that pressure! Jake Walker is a man possessed!
Jake mounts the turnbuckle once again. He flies off and arcs in a split-legged moonsault... Rodeo lifts his knees, and Jake lands hard on his back, writhing in pain. Rodeo stands shakily on his near-broken ankle, and slowly, methodically, delivers a series of chairshots to Jake's exposed side.
He raises the chair over his head in one hand, and looks around the arena. The crowd boos and jeers wildly as he hauls off with two more shots to Jake's kidneys. He forces the chair on Jake's chest, laying him flat against the canvas, and flies off the second rope, driving a knee into the chair, and driving the chair into Jake. Rodeo rolls off, clutching his knee, and Jake gasps for air.
GP: These two men are giving every ounce of their strength to this match... and they're not done with each other yet...
Rodeo, obviously hurting, rolls out of the ring. He lands nervously on his injured leg, and limps over to where Aubrey is watching the match with Jack. Jack steps forward to protect Aubrey, and Rodeo struggles to take up a defensive stance against him. Aubrey ducks behind Jack's shoulder, and Rodeo laughs. He reaches out and grabs Aubrey by the hair, and before Jack can react, whips her to the ground. Jack hauls off and punches Rodeo clean in the jaw, but then ducks down to help Aubrey up. Rodeo puts his boot over Aubrey's hair, and continues to laugh as Jake Walker sneaks up behind him and swings with a baseball bat, connecting with Rodeo's skull. Rodeo collapses and rolls out of harm's way, while Jack and Jake help Aubrey to her feet. Jack suggests that Aubrey go backstage and watch the rest of the match on TV, but Aubrey stubbornly refuses, and Jack hardly has time to warn her before they both duck a two-by-four swung by Rodeo at Jake. Jake catches the 2x4 with his bat, and jabs Rodeo in the ribs. Rodeo takes a step back, and Jake brings the bat down on his head. Rodeo hits the ground, but catches the ring apron with one arm and manages to remain mostly upright untill Jake kicks him in the stomach. Jack and Aubrey both retreat up the ramp to a fair pop as Jake continues his asault on Rodeo. He charges with a forearm, but Rodeo ducks behind him and hits a facebuster. Rodeo rolls Jake into the ring and climbs to the top rope. With Jake stretched out on the mat, Rodeo drops a hard knee from the top, and scores a direct hit with Jake's stomach. Jake writhes in pain as Rodeo lifts him to his feet and nails a right hook, left forearm, and a right uppercut, in succession. Jake stumbles backwards, dazed, and Rodeo cuts in with a knife-edge chop, and another, and another. Jake falls back, and holds onto the ropes for support. Rodeo leans back and powers in with a big clothesline, knocking Jake clear over the ropes. Jake's limp body hits the ground, and Rodeo leapfrogs the ropes, landing on Jake with a body splash, further knocking the wind out of a battered and briused Jake Walker. Rodeo licks the blood from his lips and grins. He flicks his tongue through the gap where Jake knocked out a tooth, and smiles through the blood pooling around his mouth. Jake slowly works himself up to his knees, and Rodeo levels him with a roundhouse kick. Jake lands flat on the ground, and Rodeo drags him upright by his hair. He lays him perpendicular across the crowd barrier, and drops a hard elbow on Jake's exposed back. He climbs up on the barrier as well, and viciously drops a leg on the back of Jake's neck. Rodeo lands on the cement in the crowd area, as does Jake. Rodeo holds his arms up and taunts the audience. The jeering crowd suddenly starts cheering, and Rodeo ponders over this reaction as Jake Walker heaves himself upright and asaults Rodeo from behind with a short clothesline. Rodeo stumbles, and Jake elbows in on the small of his back. Rodeo hits the concrete ground face-first, and the crowd goes insane as Jake hops up on the barrier, acknowleges the screaming fans, and drops THE 450 splash onto Rodeo's back.
GP: OH! MY! GOD! The pure intensity of these two men! They've given it all they've got and then some, and they're still going for more!
Jake stands up against the barrier, and Rodeo steadies himself on his knees. Jake stops to catch his breath, and Rodeo delivers a spear, sending Jake reeling over the barrier. Rodeo taunts the fans once more, then hops over the barrier and drags Jake to the ramp. He bashes his face mercilessly into the steel mesh once, then twice. Blood matting his hair down and running down his shirt, Jake groans in pain and tries to crawl up the ramp. Rodeo reaches into the crowd area and grabs a glass beer bottle from a fan's hand. He smashes it down on Jake's knuckles, and thrusts the jagged bottle neck into Jake's forehead. Jake screams in agony as the glass pierces his skin and opens further wounds on his already badly scarred face. Rodeo laughs evily as Jake struggles to his feet and looks around hopelessly. Jake stumbles up the ramp with a slightly confused statement on his face as Rodeo stalks him.
GP: The blood loss is directly affecting Jake Walker... how much more punishment can one man take?
Rodeo applies a standing wristlock on Jake, and turns it into a chickenwing. He swings around, as if to deliver a jawbreaker, but Jake manages to counter with a weak forearm smash and wriggles away. Rodeo charges at him, and Jake sidesteps, Rodeo catches himself, but Jake grabs him by the head and slams him into a beam supporting the scenery on the stage. Rodeo stumbles backwards and the IWO-Tron screen shakes under the force of the collison. Rodeo trips and Jake nails a reverse facecrusher on him as he falls to the steel mesh that makes up the floor of the stage. Jake stares down on Rodeo as the crowd roars in approval. Jake stares up at the top of the IWO-Tron, then back down at Rodeo.
GP: My God, no! He's not planning on...
JT: I think he is!
Jake rushes over to the side of the large support tower next to the Tron screen, and starts to climb the narrow beams. At about halfway, he stares back down at Rodeo and secures himself on a catwalk. He stares down at Rodeo again, then up at the crowd. The IWO-Tron screen changes to a backstage shot to avoid one of those enigmatic camera angles that encapsulate the screen in an endless loop. Instead, it focuses on Jack and Aubrey Breaker, riveted to the TV in their dressing room. Jack is on his feet screaming at the TV, while Aubrey sits bolt upright on the sofa, with a worried statement on her face. Jake stares at the screen, smiles, waves at Jack, then pushes off and plummets. As he falls, he manages to execute something of a twisting back elbow smash, and drives both elbows into Rodeo's stomach with incredible force. It knocks the wind out of both of them, and they lie on the stage, battered, beaten, and completely soaked in blood.
GP: Dear Lord! Jake Walker just risked life and limb up on that catwalk, and for what price? This is madness! This is truly an intense rivalry between these two!
Neither fighter moves for several minutes, save for an occasional twitch or shrug. Jake is the first to his feet, followed shortly by Rodeo. The two exchange right hands, slowly at first, but then quickly gain momentum and fury as they travel down the ramp and back into the ring. Jake swings from the right and connects, Rodeo lands a left hook, Jake hits an uppercut, Rodeo goes for a snap jab and Jake blocks it. He counters with a swinging forearm, and connects with Rodeo's nose. Rodeo falls backwards, and Jake finishes him off with a crushing blow to the jaw. Rodeo falls to the mat, almost in slow motion, and lands spread-eagle amidst the blood stains. Jake wipes the blood and sweat away from his eyes and covers.
*DING DING DING!*
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, Jake Waaalkeeeer!
The crowd erupts in a frenzy as the ref raises Jake's arm in victory. A much-fatigued Jake Walker mounts the turnbuckles in succession, beckoning to the crowd. Jack and Aubrey rush out to the ring excitedly as paramedics follow to tend to Rodeo. Jack climbs up on one turnbuckle and lifts Aubrey on his shoulders as he and Jake stare out at the crowd. The crowd continues to roar as Rodeo is wheeled away on a stretcher. "Space Suit" by They Might be Giants plays once more as Jake, Jack, and Aubrey make their way backstage to a wild pop. Jake stops once more at the top of the ramp and acknowleges the crowd once more before disappearing behind the curtain.
We see lieN Prettyman and Yun-in-a-Dress sitting on a couch making out. People throw up, because little does lieN know that it isn't Yun-in-a-Dress...Eric Yun just grew his hair out.
lieN Prettyman: I don't remember ever having this much fun making out with you.
All of a sudden, Jack Block runs by and tosses an envelope at lieN, interrupting their love-making session. Jack runs off with a "Yoink!"
Yun(-in-a-Dress? lieN thinks so): What's it say, lieN?
lieN opens the envelop and reads the contents.
lieN Prettyman: "You have been warned by Jack Block. Your warning level is now at 20%" I don't know what it means.
Yun(-in-a-Dress? lieN thinks so): Oh well.
lieN Prettyman: Baby, you are so sexy when I get warned.
Ice Age heads elsewhere as lieN gets his groove back on... heading to ringside, as Meygon stands, awaiting an announcement.
Meygon: This match is a double title tag team match. The United States title and the Extreme titles are both on the line in this match. The first team is made up of two people who if are not already will be IWO legends. They are the 2nd ever IWO grand slam champion and the one person who is one of the most unlikely of IWO champions. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and Rob Kestler!
"Three point one four" by the Bloodhound Gang plays over the PA system. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and Rob Kestler step out and make there way to the crowd. AWS Man (also known as Bill.), if straight AWS Man (also known as Bill.) fashion is walking to the ring with a barbed wire fun doodle!
JP: What the hell is AWS Man (also known as Bill.) doing bringing that fun doodle to the ring? Doesn't he know that this match is going to be hardcore and Harold Hash is going out for blood?
GP: Of course he does, that is why it is covered in barbed wire! Can't you figure anything out?
JP: but that still won't do diddly!
GP: I know that, you know that, we all understand this but this is AWS Man (also known as Bill.) we are talking about. Haven't you realized anything about him yet?
JP: I try to avoid him as much as possible.
Meygon: The next participant in this match is an old favorite in the IWO. A former two times IWO World Champion. He is the current IWO United States Champion. He is Evan Levine!!
'Simon Says' by Pharoahe Monch plays and out steps Evan. He has the United States belt across his shoulder. He walks down to the ring and stands waiting for Harold Hash.
Meygon: The last person in this match and one of the most underrated IWO wrestlers. A former TV champion, in his mind only, and current Extreme Champion. HAROLD HASH!
"Hacksaw Decapitation" by Cannibal Corpse plays as Harold Hash steps out of the back area. Hash has his Extreme title draped across his shoulder and is holding onto a shopping cart full of weapons. Gus the Black Angus is standing next to him. Hash and Gus walk down to the ring, Gus goes to the announce table and puts on the head gear as Hash throws weapons into the ring.
**DING DING DING**
JP: The match has officially started and all the challengers are just staring at each other. This is going to be a no holds barred match and judging from the recent Harold Hash video he is going to be out to hurt AWS Man (also known as Bill.).
Gus: Damn right he is going to hurt him. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) has done nothing but hold back Hash and now it is time for him to show AWS Man (also known as Bill.) along with everyone else why he deserves to be in the IWO.
GP: Well that's just nice but right now it is AWS Man (also known as Bill.) who has the upper hand as he kicks Hash in the gut. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is going for that fun doodle oh a vicious shot to the mouth with the fun doodle. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) seems bent on getting back that Extreme title.
AWS Man (also known as Bill.): GIVE ME BACK PEN!!!
JP: It looks like AWS Man (also known as Bill.) has another thing on his agenda. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is choking out Hash as Evan and Kestler are throwing blows at each other. Kestler lets in a lucky punch and knocks down Evan. But Evan has found a shoe and throws it at Kestler wait a shoe! What kind of weapons did Hash bring down here?
Gus: Hash brought all kinds of weaponry. The shoe is just one of the more vicious ones that most people don't use anymore these days! But look Hash is coming back with that punch to the midsection to AWS Man (also known as Bill.) now Hash has gotten a hold of a baseball bat.
JP: Yes those shots to AWS Man (also known as Bill.) ribs with the ball bat will knock the wind out of anyone. Now Hash is standing above the battered AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and sees Kestler stomping on a downed Evan, how did even get knocked down again?
GP: Kestler laid him out with a double underhook DDT on a stop sign, you really need to pay more attention.
JP: And you need to stop drinking on the job!
GP: It is Kool-Aid!
JP: Yes Greg, it is just Kool-Aid, we believe you.
GP: Bastard, well that doesn't matter anymore cause Hash just nailed Kestler in the side with that bat. Now Evan is getting up Evan and Hash grab a hold of Kestler and brings him back down with a double powerbomb! Now Evan and Hash are kicking on the downed Kestler.
Gus: That is teamwork, which is why Evan and Hash will not lose their belts cause they have team work. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and Kestler are just retards that never even try to practice or do any sort of training, that is why Hash is better then AWS Man (also known as Bill.).
JP: Yes but AWS Man (also known as Bill.) just brought Hash down with a full nelson slam from behind with a bridge AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is trying to get this one done with early!
Ref: 1 2 kick out!
Gus: That just took Hash by surprise, Hash is too good to get beaten by the likes of AWS Man (also known as Bill.). Look sees Hash is up now and grabbed a hold of AWS Man (also known as Bill.)'s head oh a nice face first DDT!
JP: Where the weapons? This is a HARDCORE match, there needs to be more weapon action!
GP: Well apparently Evan understands you completely JP cause he just picked up a barbed wire ball bat, AND A BIG SWING TO KESTLERS SIDE BUT HE MOVES TO THE SIDE!
JP: I have to give Kestler credit on that one. He saw that coming and moved out to the way but oh he didn't see that jab to the face by Evan. That is how you lose some teeth!
Gus: Where the hell is Hash going? He is leaving Evan by himself!
GP: Maybe it is that great teamwork you were talking about before Gus?
Gus: Shut up Greg!
JP: I don't really care where Hash went, cause AWS Man (also known as Bill.) just low blowed Evan. This is going to bring up the excitement level of this match. Evan is being double-teamed by both AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and Rob Kestler. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and Kestler are laying in punch after punch to Evans face, this isn't a boxing match!
GP: Apparently they don't know that now does they? Those blows to Evans face are going to leave whelps the size of grapefruit! But where did Hash go? He has now left the fighting area and gone to the back stage!
JP: Maybe he forgot something, like his balls.
Gus punches JP and Greg laughs at him
Gus: You want some of this too fat boy!
Gus: I thought right, Hash has balls he is probably just getting a weapon or something then he is going to whoop everyone's ass in there!
JP: Evan needs the help cause Kestler just set up a table they place Evan on it OH MY AWS Man (also known as Bill.) JUST HIT WIN THE FREAKIN MATCHIFER ON EVAN THREW THE TABLE!! IT IS ALL OVER NOW!
The lights go off right, as the ref was about to do the third count! A small flame appears from the top of the ramp the flame makes its way down to the ring the lights come back on right as Hash hits AWS Man (also known as Bill.) on the back with the flaming bat!
Gus: See I told you he would come back with a viciously vicious weapon! Now he is taking them all down, he just nailed Rob Kestler on the side with the bat. Hash is standing over the bodies with the bat in the air. What do you have to say to that JP!
JP: Well I be damned, that is some shit. I swear I can feel the heat off the bat from here and he is laying into AWS Man (also known as Bill.) with that bat, AWS Man (also known as Bill.)'s shirt has started to singe.
GP: Thank god some people are coming down to blow that bat out! He could kill someone with that weapon!
Gus: That is his point! OH MY GO HASH HAS GONE CRAZY! HE JUST HIT THE OFFICIALS FROM THE BACK THAT WAS TRYING TO STOP THE BAT!! WHAT ELSE IS HASH GOING TO DO!!
JP: Evan has gotten to his feet, Hash just said something to him he is holding AWS Man (also known as Bill.)'s legs apart. OH NO HASH IS GRINDING THAT FLAMING BAT INTO THE BALLS OF AWS Man (also known as Bill.)! THAT IS SICK, HOW CAN HE DO THAT TO ANOTHER MAN! THAT IS GOING TO FAR, YOU CAN HEAR AWS Man (also known as Bill.)'s SCREAMS FOR MILES!!
Gus: That shows how extreme Hash can go. No normal man would do that to someone else! That is disturbing.
GP: Oh here comes some more fire fighters I hope they have better luck then the IWO officials did!
JP: Awww those bastards, they put out the bat. Put one guy's balls into a flaming object and people get all upset at you!
GP: Those fire fighters just saved AWS Man (also known as Bill.)'s testicle region! That was a worthy cause, but so much damage has already been caused I don't know if AWS Man (also known as Bill.) will be able to continue with this match.
Gus: Well if AWS Man (also known as Bill.) has to leave from the fight then he is more of a little bitch then we all thought he was! A real man could suck it up and continue on with the fight. AWS Man (also known as Bill.) needs to get out of this one then he doesn't deserve to be in the IWO anymore!
GP: There comes a time when you have to stop fighting to save your self. He is out here for the fans but the fans have to realize he can only take so much punishment!
JP: Sounds like a cop out to me!
Gus: same here JP, same here.
GP: Oh look AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is getting to his feet while Hash is gloating to the crowd. He has his back to AWS Man (also known as Bill.) OH A BIG CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB TO HASH! I don't know how AWS Man (also known as Bill.) had the strength to do that move!
JP: What ever happened to Kestler and Evan?
GP: Good question oh there they are! Evan has rolled out to the floor and Kestler has followed him. Kestler has a hold of Evans head oh one, two, three, four, five times! Kestler just ran Evans head into the apron of the ring five times! Now Kestler is giving kicks to Evans midsection! Kestler has become even more vicious then Hash was!
Gus: Until Kestler grinds something that was lit on fire into someone's balls he is not going to be more vicious then Hash! Speaking of Hash, he is throwing jabs at AWS Man (also known as Bill.). AWS Man (also known as Bill.) seems to be hurt from those blows, I guess that powerbomb took the last of it out of him! Hash throws AWS Man (also known as Bill.) into the ropes and does a brickwall (a stinger splash) to him!
JP: Now Kestler is walking the apron, he does a leg drop to Evan who was on his knees getting to his feet. Evans face just slammed back into that concrete. Kestler picks up Evan again and does a cradle piledriver to him .now Evan has got to be beaten.
GP: But Hash just flew over the rope and did a suicide dive to Kestler! Hash is now laying into Kestler with a variety of lefts and rights. Kestler falls down and Hash hits him with a moonsault off the apron of the ring. Hash stands up and puts his arms in the air.
JP: But AWS Man (also known as Bill.) hits him with a baseball slide to the back of the head. Now AWS Man (also known as Bill.) grabs a hold of a chair and goes to the outside! The carnage is spewing everywhere as AWS Man (also known as Bill.) lays Hash out with a vicious chair shot to the noggin.
Gus: That has only dazed Hash. He will get up soon and pay back AWS Man (also known as Bill.) for that chair shot! I guarantee it.
JP: That blood coming from Hash's head looks like it more then dazed Hash. Hash is trying to get to his feet but AWS Man (also known as Bill.) meets him with a knock your freakin head off when he gets up. Hash is down, and AWS Man (also known as Bill.) seems to be in control of this match so far!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill.) goes back into the ring picks up another chair. He goes to the top rope Hash has made it to his feet again just as AWS Man (also known as Bill.) flies from the top rope with that chair going directly for Hash
Gus: BUT NO HASH HITS HIM WITH A THRUST KICK OF HIS OWN!! THAT CHAIR JUST RAN RIGHT INTO AWS Man (also known as Bill.) HEAD, HE MUST BE KNOCKED OUT FROM THAT! HOW MUCH MORE CAN AWS Man (also known as Bill.) TAKE IN THIS MATCH?
JP: AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is resilient! He will continue to come back from anything what is Hash doing under the ring? He is looking for something? He found it, he found a midget? What the hell is Hash going to do with that midget?
GP: I dunno but he better do something fast cause Kestler is getting to his feet Kestler sees Hash. Hash throws the midget at Rob Kestler.
Rob: **catching the midget** I can't let a little midget like you get hurt now can I?
Gus: Hash just did it, he did a Kid Rock (van daminator with a midget!) to Rob Kestler! The lethal Kid Rock!!!
JP: that has to be one of the stupidest moves I have ever seen! Who really uses a midget to wrestle with?
GP: Apparently Harold Hash uses midgets now isn't that obvious?
JP: Shut up Greg well anyway the match is starting to get heated again. Evan some how got to his feet and is grabbing a hold of his head. He walks over to Kestler who is knocked down and still holding onto that midget. He does a flip into a roll onto Kestler crushing that midget into him.
GP: That poor little midget, he doesn't deserve to be harmed like that. He needs to get out of there.
Gus: Hey that midget knew what he was getting into when Hash stole him from Midgetland and shoved him under that ring earlier today. He got fed some bread and water so he should be pretty good for a bit more.
GP: That is cruel.
Gus: Maybe so but it isn't any worst then what happens to cows and no one ever seems to care about them!
GP: **under his breath** Damn cows, with there crazy cow logic and cow hypnotic.
JP: **looking at Greg strangely** Umm yeah okay Greg. But anyway the midget has gotten up and ran away. Evan picks up Kestler as Hash picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill.) and rolls him into the ring. Hash then goes back under the ring what is he going to pull out this time?
Gus: IT IS PEN!! HASH JUST PULLED PEN OUT FROM UNDER THE RING!! HE IS GOING INTO THE AIR! HASH HAS GONE BACK INSIDE THE RING AWS Man (also known as Bill.) IS STAGGERING TO HIS FEET! HASH IS ABOUT TO HIT AWS Man (also known as Bill.) WITH PEN-
GP: BUT NO HASH HITS HIMSELF WITH PEN! HE HITS HIMSELF WITH PEN!!!
Gus: THE HELL HE DID!!! PEN JUST DID THE INANIMATE BITCHSLAP TO HASH! PEN AND AWS Man (also known as Bill.) WERE IN CAHOOTS THE WHOLE TIME. THE CAHOOTS! OH MY I CAN'T BELIEVE PEN JUST BACKSTABBED HASH! THIS WHOLE TIME HE WAS CAHOOTING WITH AWS Man (also known as Bill.).
GP: Now Evan is up he hits AWS Man (also known as Bill.) with a steel pipe to the back of the head! AWS Man (also known as Bill.) is knocked out cold! Now Evan is pushing Kestler out of the ring! He is picking up Hash Hash is going up top! HE JUST DID A DROP KICK TO EVAN!!!! HASH HAS JUST TURNED ON EVAN!!! OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAZYNESS, CRAZYNESS!!!
Gus: HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HASHES PLAN THE WHOLE TIME!!! HE WAS GOING AFTER EVANS BELT THE WHOLE TIME!! NOW HASH IS GOING BACK UP TOP EVAN IS LAID OUT!!! YES HE DID IT, HE DID THIS IS A LONG NAME FOR A MOVE THAT ISN'T ALL TO IMPRESSIVE BUT I LIKE CAUSE I AM LIKE THAT, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN SUCK ON MY TOES TILL YOUR NADS FALL OFF AND SMACK YOU IN THE FACE BWAHAHAHAHAHA, OKAY THIS IS A REALLY LONG NAME FOR A MOVE AND IT ISN'T ALL TO DESCRIPTIVE AND I KNOW NOONE WILL EVER CALL IT THAT BUT I DON'T CARE, WE ARE GETTING BACK TO CAUSE I AM LIKE THAT, OH YEAH THIS REALLY ISN'T CORRECT GRAMMAR. BARQ'S IS THE BEST ROOT BEER OF ALL KIND. (450 leg drop) HE IS GOING TO PIN EVAN!!
Hash: GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE AND COUNT THIS MOTHERFUCKER OUT FOR ME!!
Ref:1 2 3!!!!
Meygon: Winner of this match and new United States champion along with retaining his Extreme title HARRROOOLLLDDD HAAASSSSHHHH!!!!
Gus gets from the announcer's table and goes to celebrate with Hash. Hash picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill.) then walks back to the backstage area.
Cut backstage, to the Deadlier Sins' locker room. Jack Breaker and Aubrey are sipping champagne while Jake Walker bandages his various wounds in a mirror.
Jake: [Absent-mindedly] Hmm... do you think this needs stitches?
Jack: [Without looking] Yes.
Jake: Damn. So, when are we going back after the tag titles?
Jack: ...You just went through hell with Rodeo, and you're worried about the tag titles!? Shouldn't you be getting checked out by a doctor, or something?
Jake: Yeah, well shouldn't YOU be pouring me another glass of champagne?
Jack: ... touche.
Tom Ford bursts into the room and angrily hits Jack with a rolled up newspaper.
Ford: That's MY word!
Jake gets up to greet Tom.
Ford: Dammit, Walker! You just got blood all over my new shirt! My GOOD new shirt! I have to pay for my own dry cleaning, you know! And shouldn't you be getting checked out by a doctor?
Jake: Shouldn't you be... uhm... dammit.
Jake exits, still dripping blood.
Ford: Aah! He's getting blood all over the carpet, too! The arena staff makes me pay for stuff like that! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of carpet?
Jack: Uhm. What did you come here for, Tommy boy?
Ford: Oh, yeah. Jack, you gotta talk to Jake. That stunt he did off of the `tron screen could've cost this company millions!
Jack: How so?
Ford: Well, if Rodeo is injured as a result of that, and he sues, we could...
Jack: Wait a minute, he can't sue. He's under contract, isn't he?
Ford: That's what I thought, but apparently Kosoy was legally braindead when he signed that contract. Then again, when wasn't he... Anyway, It's totally null and void.
Jack: Oh, shit.
Ford breaks out laughing.
Ford: No, I'm only fooling! Hoo boy, you should've seen the look on your face! Now, pour me a glass of champagne and we'll call it even.
Jack does so, spilling a little unintentionally.
Ford: God, no! Champagne is impossible to get out of carpet! Agh!
He wanders off, sipping his champagne. Aubrey leans back and reclines on the sofa, and Jack does the same.
Jack: I don't even know why I'm here, actually. This is supposed to be my day off!
Aubrey: Doesn't it bother you that the management went out of their way to not book you on the biggest show of the year?
Jack: Yeah, except... but... you know, because of the... thing... and the...dammit.
Jack and Aubrey snuggle up on the couch as we fade out.
World Tag Team Championship
Those Damned Mexicans -c- vs. Suicde Kings
Meygon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IWO world Tag Team championships! Making their way to the ring first, from New York, NY, they are three-time former IWO world tag champions, Jeff and Ryan King, the Suicide Kings!
"Between Angels and Insects" by Poppa Roach hits as the Kings step out onto the stage to a generous pop. They run to the ring proudly, and pose on the turnbuckles.
Meygon: Making their way to the ring next, from Tijuana, Mexico, they are the Internet Wrestling Federation World Tag Team Champions, Diablo and Edguardo, Those Damn Mexicans!
"I am Hated" by Slipknot hits as the Mexicans step out on the stage to some mixed boos. They strut to the ring regardless, holding the tag straps high over their heads. The Suicide Kings stare them down from in the ring.
GP: Well, it looks like everyone in this arena tonight wants to see those two without those belts!
JT: Whaat? They want their pants to fall down? That's needlessly creul!
GP: Oh, you know what I mean.
JT: Yeah, but I enjoy making your job as difficult as possible.
The Mexicans continue to circle the ring untill they reach the back, where they hand their belts to the timekeeper and cautiously slide into the ring. The Kings are immediatley on them: Jeff puts the boots to Diablo while Ryan pulls Edguardo up and fake Irish whips him, and catches him in the face with a forearm. Diablo manages to slide out under the bottom rope, and with a few parting shots, Jeff retreats to his corner as well. Ryan and Edguardo tie up. Ryan goes for the advantage with a hammerlock, but Edguardo reverses into a front headlock and a bulldog. Ryan gets to his feet wearily, and Edguardo hooks for a Russian leg sweep. He pauses for a moment before driving Ryan down on his back. He stares out at the jeering crowd for a second, then in a flash climbs the turnbuckle to the second rope and delivers a corkscrew elbow drop, which Ryan easily evades by rolling away and tagging in Jeff.
GP: The tag is made to Jeff King and now Edguardo's in trouble if he can't get to Diablo in time!
JT: Oh, just SHUT UP! Everybody KNEW that already!
GP: *Sniffle* Yeah... well, you didn't have to SAY anything.
JT: Oh, did I hurt your feelings?
GP: *Sniff* Yes.
Jeff King and Edguardo tie up in the ring. Jeff overpowers him and throws him into the corner. Edguardo hits the turnbuckle and slumps down, allowing Jeff to mount the top rope and fly off with an improvised moonsault armbreaker, which, while not actually breaking Edguardo's arm, causes him to clutch his shoulder and go "OW!" very audibly. Jeff takes advantage of this with a high kick to Edguardo's shoulder and an arm wrench takedown. Edguardo, in considerable pain, makes a desperate tag to Diablo, who takes the advantage over an unsuspecting Jeff King with a missile dropkick from the top rope. Edguardo rolls safely away to the apron, as Diablo delivers a Double Underhook backbreaker to Jeff King. Jeff squirms on the mat in pain, and Diablo locks in a Dragon Sleeper. Jeff seems to doze off a bit as Diablo furiously applies pressure. Ryan King rushes in to protect his brother and lands a cheap shot on Diablo, causing him to break the hold. Ryan retreats back to the apron, and Diablo stares him down, giving Jeff the opportunity to land a facebuster on Diablo.
GP: My God! Jeff King, taking the advantge over a distracted Diablo!
JT: God Dammit, will you STOP constantly stating the obvious?!
Jeff lands a jawbreaker on Diablo. Jeff stands up and motions towards the top rope. The fans voice their approval as he mounts the turnbuckle and prepares to launch himself. His plan backfires, however, when Edguardo hops off the apron and rushes over to him. Before Jeff can react, Edguardo hits a neckbreaker, leaving Jeff lying on the turnbuckle, his legs helplessly tangled in the ropes. Diablo rushes in with a dropkick to Jeff's face. The force isn't enough to pry Jeff free of the turnbuckle, so Diablo lands another, and another. Finally, Jeff collapses to the mat, bleeding profusely from his nose. Diablo irish whips him into the rope. Jeff rebounds, and Diablo executes a springboard clothesline, knocking Jeff back down to the mat. Jeff reaches out and manages a tag to Ryan, who rushes in and nails a few forearms on Diablo. Diablo blocks one swing, and goes for an uppercut, but Ryan grabs onto his shoulders, leans back, and hits a standing dropkick beofre Diablo lands the punch. Diablo tags Edguardo, who slides carefully into the ring. Diablo then executes a fireman's carry flapjack, and Edguardo hits a DDT as Ryan lands on the canvas.
GP: It's the Green Card! TDM just landed the Green Card! This match is as good as over!
GP: What..? The ref stopped counting!
JT: That's discrimination! He's not counting because they're Mexican!
GP: Wait! Diablo wasn't the legal man! Edguardo is! And now it looks like Edguardo is sailing over the top rope, and Ryan King is looking pretty smug about it!
Indeed. Diablo slides back out to the apron, and Edguardo cautiously re-enters the ring. Ryan hits a back elbow on Edguardo's neck, but Edguardo manages to get to his feet anyhow, and nails Ryan in the balls. With a kick, of course. Get your damn mind out of the gutter. Uhm.. anywho. With Ryan hunched over, Edguardo lands a fireman's carry facebuster.
JT: There's the Mexibuster! NOW this match can finally end, and I can go back to my microwave burrito!
GP: YES! Ryan King kicks out! Ryan King kicks out!
Yes. Ryan King kicks out. Edgaurdo is in disbelief. Disbelief becomes pain as Ryan makes the tag to Jeff. Jeff whips Edguardo into the turnbuckle, lands a superkick, then hooks and delivers a Tornado DDT.
GP: There's Jeff's finisher... that should be all!
Jeff covers, but Edguardo kicks out at two. Jeff can't believe it, and expresses his disbelief by attempting a second Tornado DDT, but this time, Edguardo blocks the superkick. He catches Jeff's leg, spins him around, then tries a superkick of his own. Jeff easily catches Edguardo's leg, and Edguardo lands an enziguri. Jeff hits the mat hard, and Ryan King is about to sneak attack Edguardo, when Diablo rushes in a guillotines him on the ropes. Edguardo covers Jeff.
*DING DING DING*
Meygon: Here are your winners, and still IWO World Tag Team Champions, Those Damn Mexicans!
"I Am Hated" by Slipknot plays once more as TDM recieve their belts and walk backstage to a very negative reaction.
GP: Well, 'I am hated' is right...
JT: Yeah, you sure are hated, Greg.
GP: No, I'm talking about TDM! Nobody here wanted to see them retain their belts!
JT: I did!
GP: But you don't count.
JT: Why not?
GP: Because you're a moron.
JT: Oh. I... see...
GP: This is going to be a rather odd situation the IWO has dug itself into. You see, when Steve Christ brought High Flyer back out of retirement and handed him the Crusier Weight Championship, they defied all contract laws. They defied the written law.
JT: Oh come on Parker, like that doesn't happen everyday!
GP: Nevertheless, Flyer has free reign to really do anything he wants while the champion, while still with this company, and he's concocked a free for all, interpromotional crusier weight battle royal.
JT: And that means anyone can crash the party.
GP: Exactly. Although I'm not sure when a wrestling match constitutes as a party....
**Ding, ding, ding**
Meygon: This next match, is scheduled under battle royal rules, and is for the IWO Crusier Weight Championship!
The fans pop at the mere sound of this, as "Loco" by Coal Chamber hits the pa system. The fans raise their cheers even louder, as the lights dim to a black. Suddenly, pyro shoots from the turnbuckles instead of the normal rampway entrance. Sam Potright stands there, a smug look on his face, holding a microphone in his hand. Flyer, in the center of the ring, is tied to a chair, wrecked, ravaged, pale, bloody...
Sam Potright: You know, my entire life, I've been looked down on for my size. And now, in this freakshow you call a ring, you want to catagorize professional wrestlers? You want to label them something, label them extreme, seperate them from the world. Restrict wrestlers with a championship. You know, this sickens me. The power you have with a simple championship. But really Flyer, you're powerless. You have no ability to fight, especially not against someone like myself. You couldn't out-power me when I tied you down. You couldn't fight me when I baraged you from your car just a week ago. Come on Flyer, you know you can't fight me...
At least, not what I've become.
Potright pauses, and begins pacing around Flyer, slowly looking down at him with disapproval.
Sam Potright: You can't fathom the knowledge I know. You can't believe what I am, where I'm headed, where I have been. You don't know, you just don't know. You can't know, you can't feel...
"Battle Flag" by the Lo-Fidelity Allstars plays over the pa system as the fans rise to their feet. I mean, they are fWo fans too out there in the audience, and as the fWo Crusier Weight Champion slowly walks down from the backstage area, the fans stand on their feet cheering like no tomorrow.
Sam Potright: Hey, stay the hell out of this. This has nothing to do with you women. This is between me and him. He's why I'm like this...
Tempest: I'm not sure what exactly he's done to you personally there Sammy, but I know I was invited for some shiny gold, and I'm not going to pass it up because you think you have some score to settle with fly boy over there.
Sam Potright: Fine then, you want a fight...
Sam Potright rears back and takes a wild swing at Tempest, who's able to easily duck it, hooking a distorted Sam Potright from behind in a waist lock. Tempest tried to take him over in a german, but Sam was able to lean his weight forward, blocking the move. Sam let a few elbow shots in on Tempest, before she broke the hold, as Sam took towards the ropes, bounced off, and went for a high cross body.
Tempest ducked though, and Sam flew out of the ring.
Sam tried to regain himself from the wicked fall he had takent, as Tempest goes to Flyer, untying him from the chair. Flyer immediatly fell down to his knees, coughing, clutching his rib cage. He had been through hell, because Sam had a message...
And that spoke volumes about Sam, and about his message.
Tempest stared on the outside at a fallen Sam Potright, as Flyer looked up, and saw her, standing there, in the light. She wasn't looking at him, she wasn't doing anything, and that's what made it so easy...
Flyer rolled Tempest up from behind, as a referee quickly ran down, and slide into the ring.
GP: FLYER TRYING TO PULL ONE OVER TEMPEST!
No... Tempest was able to get a shoulder up, to roll out of the move.
Tempest: Now that wasn't very nice!
Tempest said those words as she regained herself to her feet, as did Flyer. Flyer shrugged it off, because hell, it was his championship, it was his match.
And then, suddently, Flyer ran over to the ropes, and leaped into the air, diving through the middle ropes feet first, and laying in a recovering Sam Potright with a vicious Missle Dropkick.
Tempest scratched her head in the ring, and as Flyer and Sam Potright regained their feet, she ran towards then, and leaped up with a somersault plancha, knocking both men, and herself, out of the game for a bit.
And that's when the fun began.
GP: Wait a second! Look... racing to the ring!
Racing down from the backstage area, was the fWo's Golden Child, Monte Burns. He immediatly went to the side, and grabbed Tempest up from the rubble that was, and threw her into the ring. He slide in of course after her.
GP: The Golden Child? Can you believe this JT?
JT: Wow... Tempest is hot!
Parker sighed. The first fifty thousand times JT obsessed about sex was enough...
Tempest was down, but she wasn't nearly out of it. She tried to get back to her feet, but Burns held her by her hair, before raising her from the ground. Tempest went to kick Burns in the mid-section, but Burns figured that Tempest would try some sort of kick, most likely down below the belt, and predicted the manuver.
And then, leaping over the guardrail, and into the ring, she dropped down, and low blows Burns, breaking the hold.
It was Asylum's Jessica Arrows, the same related to Shawn Arrows, the former IWO star.
Monte dropped down to his knees, as Jessica rose to her feet, and hooked him from behind, into the kaja hajime. It was one step towards the Ainchillianaia, but Burns was about to twist his body, and perch himself to Jessica's side. Monte then raised her up off the mat, and threw her, feet first at Tempest, causing Jessica to pratically dropkick Tempest out of the ring.
Monte stood, looking down towards the fallen Jessica with a proud smile on his face, and then realized that they weren't the only ones in the match. As he turned around, he ate a spinning round house kick, delievered off the top from an incoming High Flyer.
It landed pretty well on target too.
GP: Huge Spinning Roundhouse off the top! Flyer slowly regains himself, holding his rib cage. He must have landed hard on the side of his body...
Flyer slowly rose to his feet, clutching at his midsection, when suddently, a man raced into the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope. Flyer didn't have enough time to react, as this man charged forward, spearing Flyer into the mat with swift avengace.
He stood up, revealing his face as that of Duncan Fletcher, formerly of LoW. He was a man that wasn't sought out by many promotions since his LoW days, mainly due to his violent nature and background. He hadn't been seen since LoW's departure, but he was here, he was here now...
And he was making his mark. Fletcher stared down at the fallen Flyer, proud of himself, and while he was doing that, it gave time for Samuel Potright, to climb back onto the apron, and measure Fletcher...
But before he could fly, a man raced from the crowd, climbed up with him, and hooked him in a side headlock...
True Hell DDT...
Erik Rave drove Sam Potright deep into the mat, head first, causing Fletcher to turn around to see the carnage. His mouth opened a small bit, seeing Rave in a crumpled pile, but before he realized it, he went for the Black Rose, his somersault double ax kick to the back of the recovering Erik Rave's head.
Fletcher dove on top of the fallen Sam Potright, a man who had most likely been more ravaged between the two...
And sliding into the ring, breaking up the pin was none other than former fWo Survivor combatant Great Dragon. Both men regained themselves to their feet, and locked themselves into a deep staredown. These two were conspiracing inside the walls of LoW before it's untimely demise, and the days of the partnership seemed faded...
But blows were not thrown, as before the reaction could happen, Rush and Wippit Guud, jOlt wrestlers, came into the ring, and both paired up on each man. Wippit grabbed Fletcher, throwing him into the corner. Wippit then charged, placing a cartwheel, a back flip, only to be speared in mid-back flip, knocking Wippit around and causing him to land behind on his back.
On the other side, Rush began to throw a few right hands to Great Dragon, before leaping up onto his shoulders, and taking him over in a dramatic hudaconrada. Rush rose to his feet, only to realize Fletcher was going for a super kick of his own. Rush ducked underneath, double underhooking him from behind, before it was Jessica Arrows, sliding into the ring, and nailing a low blow on both men.
And since there's no real rules, it really didn't matter.
Fletcher fell clutching, as Rush dropped to his knees. Jessica grabbed Rush by the back of his skull, and threw him forcefully into the mat.
Monte Burns then slide into the fray, seeing a fallen Erik Rave, and dove on for the cover, seeing it as an oppertuinity.
Erik was able to get up at one, easily recovering from the Black Rose many moons ago. Burns got to his feet, trying to figure out the situation, the best plan of attack, but before he could come up with a decision...
Tempest reached in, tripping Burns, and pulling him to the outside with her.
GP: I don't even know what to say, there's way too much chaos going on here.
And then from the sides, two men slide in, one from the backstage rampway, and another from the crowd. Little Italy slide from the stage, looking on, and thought he was in a decent shape, waiting through the carnage... but he didn't expect him...
Italy immediatly went to slide out of the ring, but Winters could feel the fear. Winters was able to dive, grabbing 'Big' Little Italy by his feet, and dragging him back into the ring.
The ring was fulled with many of the great crusier weights of this sport, and maybe a litle too many. It seemed as if movement space was at an all time low, but Tempest and Burns had little problems finding that space on the outside. Tempest tried to throw Burns into the steel guardrail, but Burns was able to reverse it, sending Tempest racing towards the steel. Tempest however was able to adjust in mid-run, leaping onto the guardrail with beautiful agility, and leaping off with a picture perfect asai moonsault onto Burns, crumpling both ... people down on the ground.
Inside the ring, Winters and Little Italy were exchanging blows, Winters gaining the full advantage in the corner. He went to send Little Italy to the opposite side, and there, standing, was High Flyer. Flyer was able to let loose with a vicious superkick, sending Italy quickly down to the mat. Winters turned to him, and saw, as he charged in, getting ready to take advantage of the attention drawn Flyer. Flyer was able to duck down, and back body drop Winters up and over the top rope...
And onto the recovering Monte Burns and Tempest.
Flyer dropped to his knees, clutching at his midsection, clutching at his ribs. And then, in a swift motion, Sam Potright came into the ring, and tackled Flyer down to the mat, before locking in his version of the Wall Breaker....
Flyer quickly let out a cry for pain, and before anyone could break the hold, Flyer's hand hit the mat three times in quick repetition...
The match had ended in less than dramatic fashion, each man directing his attention away from the big picture, towards each smaller confrontation. Sam Potright was able to focus... and he was able to become champion...
Potright slide out of the ring, grabbing the championship, before racing away. He left the carnage, as each man/women slowly began to pick themselves up, began to return back to where they came...
Except Fletcher. He took this entire situation personally it seemed. He waited, and waited, and as Flyer regained himself, clutching his ribs, Fletcher flew in, nailing Extinction, a front dropkick, so stiff, it sent Flyer down to the mat in a fit of pain. He clutched his ribs, trying to help himself up, as Fletcher followed it up with the Black Rose, before leaving the scene...
EMT's began to come out to the ring, trying to help Flyer, trying to get him situation, and after a few minutes, the scene slowly switched backstage...
Duncan Fletcher... he didn't take losing to well, kicking boxes and knocking over equipment in frustration. Security had taken Fletcher out of the ringside area and wouldn't let him back in. He was about ready to take on all of the security by himself when President Thomas Ford gets in front of Fletcher.
Thomas Ford: Fletcher, what the FUCK was that?
Fletcher ignores him and tries to brush past Ford, but Ford just moves in front of him again.
Thomas Ford: Don't you do that! Remember who you're talking to! Who took you in when no one else did? I DID! All you could've done was accepted your loss and we could've put you in a feud with the new champion, but no! You had to let loose with your ego and attack the other members of the battle royale!
Fletcher stares angrilly at Ford, but says nothing.
Thomas Ford: Fletcher, I admit that you're a good worker, but your attitude makes Shawn Michaels look like a choir boy. You know why you're on the bad side of every major promoter in the country, right? You got into a fist fight with another wrestler over talent and a girl you had a crush on. Can you imagine how many dirty looks I got when I decided to add you to the roster, Duncan? And do you know WHY I got those looks?
Fletcher grunts, but again, says nothing.
Thomas Ford: Because you had a fist fight with Joey Malone! He's one of the most highly respected individuals the IWO's had, one of the hardest workers, and among the nicest people I've ever met. Everyone in this promotion is a friend of Joey's, and everyone knows what you did to him. Everyone told me that it would be a mistake to sign you, but I thought you would've got an attitude adjustment. I was wrong.
Fletcher raises an eyebrow and starts to speak.
Duncan Fletcher: Excuse me? Did you really think I gave a crap what the people in this one-horse shell-of-its-former-self promotion thought about me? I'm not sorry for what I did to that pussy, Malone, two months ago, and I'm not sorry about what I was about to do out there. Do you think I give half a shit about what you insignificant bed-wetters think about me? No, I don't. The way I see it is that you idiots need me a lot more than I need you, but you don't see that, do you? All I was doing was getting rid of the dead weight, Ford.
Tom Ford looked away from Fletcher for a second, and nodded towards security before he turned back to Fletcher.
Thomas Ford: Fletcher, the IWO needs you like they need Evan back in power again.
And suddenly, violently, two big muscular security guards grab Fletcher's arms. Fletcher reacts a second too late and tries to kick Ford, but his kick barely misses.
Thomas Ford: Fletcher, get the fuck out of this arena. As far as I'm concerned, you are banned from this federation as long as I am in power. Goodbye.
Fletcher struggles and yells and manages to flip off Ford before he's dragged out of the arena and thrown out onto the street.
We begin to hear Hollywood by Nickleback play in the background. We get close up shots of Nuke with the North American Title on a black background, arms crossed. He is in his usual ring attire, minus his grey wifebeater and Jason mask. He has an evil smirk on his face as the camera gets different angles. Several scenes of Nuke beating people senseless also show up. Then we hear a voice in the background
GP: Whoa! Nuke's looking to make this real personal
JT: Boy this should be fun!
Close up shots of Syphon Fission come on the screen, is his usual wrestling attire, also with his arms crossed. The shots of Fission then fade to tape o f Fission hitting people with Death Plunges. Everyone from Samuel Potright to Evan Levine to Phelen Kell to the close out shot of his Death Plunge off of a ladder with Joey Malone, onto an open chair at Beach Party 5. We then look at the Utter Obliteration logo,
The comeback again
The lights flashing
Fission racing out of the back, pointing to the down Nuke in the confines of a ring, laughing. Flash to Nuke getting a super kick. Then, Fission flipping off Nuke, and giving him a massive cranium shot via a steel chair. Again. Again. Then, with the climax the Death Plunge on the chair. Then, him in the face of JT, sending him a message.
Syphon: Tell Simon tell Nuke tell every piece of trash that has not been cleaned up in the IWO tell them that I am back!
I am back
The song changes to Last Time by Fuel. The Hostile Takeover on the 14th of December. The response to Fission's action. Nuke was in the ring, and was ranting at Fission. The bat was in his hand. Then Fission came out. The two jaw jacked. But the bit that was expressed most of all
Nuke: How cute do you think you'll be once I'm done with you? Huh?
Syphon laughs at Nuke's idle threat, but Nuke adds...
Nuke: More importantly...how will Quinn look?
That's when anger engulfed Fission. He practically went nuts. Then, his match with Ryan King, where Nuke's theme played and distracted him, giving King enough time to grab the victory. Then, the motive
He lured Nuke in.
Nuke looked all through Fission's locker room area. He then grabs a note, reads it. Then a shovel comes out of nowhere and collides with the back of Nuke's head. Then, a cut scene to the brief but intense fight. Then
He dropped a large locker onto Nuke, injuring his ribs. We can hear the voice of Fission echo, something he said earlier this year
Syphon: YOU'RE BEING PLAYED BY A CEREBRAL ASSASSIN!
The song fades to Shout 2000 by Disturbed. The Hostile Takeover on the 21st
A close up of the epitaph Fission had going into Hostile Takeover, when he gave a long rant. Nukes masterpiece of a plan, to draw Fission out with the thought of getting a World Title shot. Nuke capturing Quinn Fission's reaction. All on tape. But most important of all
And amissed the chaos... the IWO Tron begins to flicker. On screen, staring back at us is...
Behind him several tombstones can be seen, but its too tight of a camera shot to view much else.
Nuke: Maybe you're right Syphie. Maybe this is war. But sadly, it's a war you're ill prepared to fight. To fight a war you have to be prepared to go further than your enemy would ever imagine. That's what I'm willing to do, and will do shortly. I have no sense of right or wrong. I adhere by no code of conduct. That's a dangerous quality for your enemy to have. That's what you need in a war. You said yourself you're a "doer of good". Hell, the only reason you came back is to do good. That's the kind of person that loses in a war. Syphie. You really don't know what you've gotten yourself, but more importantly *Quinn* into. You're fighting a war against an enemy which
is willing to go to all lengths to be victorious. And because of it Quinn has to pay price.
The camera shot widens to show Quinn tied and gagged. They're both in a cemetery. Quinn lies helplessly on the gas, struggling in her constraints, near a freshly dug gave, with another one right near it, both with tombstones at the head. The first with Quinn's name carved in it. The other had Syphon Fission's. Above Quinn's gave, was an open wooden coffin, just waiting to be lowered. A few feet over was a small bulldozer.
Nuke: But you see Syphie, I don't really see this as a war. I was searching for meaning, a purpose to all this absurdity called life. And I found one. Hurting you. And what better way to hurt you than by hurting the one person you love the most? It's not much of purpose, but'll tide me over for now. I've talked long enough. Time to get this party started!
Nuke said in a disturbingly jovial voice, as he roughly snatched Quinn off the grass. Nuke dragged her over to the coffin, and dumped her inside. Quinn struggled as best she could, but Nuke simply shoved her more firmly
inside the coffin, and closed it shut. Nuke then untied the ropes holding coffin up above the grave, causing it to drop, into the hole.
Meanwhile, an unsettling hush enshrouded the arena as the fans all watched this happen on the IWO-Tron in disbelief.
GP: ...This...this can't be happening.
JT: Wait...he's not seriously gonna bury her...is he?
GP: It looks like he is.
JT: Damn. Maybe he's taking this a little too far.
Nuke then gets behind the wheel of the bulldozer, ready to shove the large mounds of upturned earth, near the grave, filling it and burying Quinn alive.
Nuke: Oh, and incase you watching at home are wondering...this is serious. As serious as cancer...and if you didn't know, that's pretty damn serious.
Nuke tells the cameraman to back up to get a good shot of all of this, and he starts the engine on the bulldozer.
GP: MY GOD!! HE'S GOING TO BURY QUINN!!
JT: NO SHIT!!
GP: WHY ISN'T ANYONE STOPPING THIS!! CALL THE AUTHORITIES!!
As Greg finishes his sentence, head lights can be seen approaching. A car is then seen, as it barrels through the cemetery, knocking over tombstones as it does so. It comes to fast halt, and...
Syphon Fission jumps out of the drivers seat. He makes a mad dash toward the bulldozer, armed with Nuke's aluminum bat. Diamond gets out of the passenger seat, with a worried look on her face.
GP: IT'S SYPHON FISSION!! HE AND DIAMOND HAVE FOUND NUKE!! HE'S GONNA SAVE QUINN!
JT: Fat chance. I don't think he's gonna have much luck against a bulldozer. Even with a bat.
Nuke was so involved in what he was doing he didn't even notice all that just occurred. Syphon Fission runs around to the drivers side, and smashes in the window with the bat. Nuke is struck with pieces of flying glass, and the bulldozer comes to a halt, mere inches in front of the grave.
Syphon Fission reaches up, and rips open the door. He tears Nuke out of the drivers seat, and lays in a few shots to his injured ribs with the bat. He then turns his attention to Quinn. He dives down into the grave, pulls open the top half of the coffin, and pulls Quinn out of it. He quickly unties her, and removes the gag. Quinn and Fission embrace. In the arena, the fans begin to cheer.
GP: Quinn's saved!! If he was only a few seconds late, God only knows how Quinn would've been dug out of there if Nuke had his way. Thankfully this is over.
Fission helps Quinn to her feet, and hoists her up and out of the grave. Diamond is at Nuke's side, making sure he's ok. Nuke regains himself however. He sees Quinn next to the grave reaching down to pull up Syphon Fission. Then he sees the aluminum bat laying near where he was lying. Diamond sees what her boyfriend is thinking, and pleads with him to stop, but Nuke shoves her off and charges the grave.
JT: You might've spoken to early Greg. This looks far from over!
Nuke dives into the grave, knocking Syphon Fission back down, while Quinn can do nothing but scream. Nuke lays in on Fission with punches. He then stands above Syphon Fission, and mercilessly rains down blow after blow with the bat down upon Syphon Fission's body.
GP: MY GOD!! THIS IS VICIOUS! WHERE THE HELL ARE THE POLICE!
Nuke continues to brutally beat Fission with the bat, then stops. Satisfied, he scales the side of the grave, and climbs out leaving Syphon Fission lying, beaten bloody, and presumably unconscious in the grave.
But he's not done.
Nuke gets behind the wheel of the bulldozer and does to Syphon Fission, what he intended to do to Quinn.
Bury him alive.
GP: OH MY GOD!! MY GOD!! SYPHON FISSION IS UNDER ALL THAT DIRT!! NUKE IS FUCKING SICK!!
JT: JESUS CHRIST!! SYPHON FISSION HAS TO BE DEAD!! LOOK AT ALL THAT DIRT HE'S COVERED IN!!
Just as Nuke finishes his vile act, the screech of police sirens can be heard approaching. All too late ,however, for Syphon Fission. The cops arrest Nuke, who goes quietly without a struggle, but proudly wears psychotic grin on his countenance, as firemen are called in to dig out Syphon Fission.
But were they in time?
The song For You by Staind now plays in the background. The highlights going into the major PPV were there. Nuke's suspension. Fission threatening to kill Nuke and telling Ford to get the suspension lifted. The war games. Fission taking out Nuke. Nuke taking out Fission. And then the end. The entire long battle between the two replays itself.
Then finally the Ice Age logo comes on. In front of it stands Fission, angry look on his face, crossed arms. We can hear a chorus in the background
Syphon: YOU'RE BEING PLAYED BY A CEREBRAL ASSASSIN!
PLAYED BY A CEREBRAL ASSASSIN!!!
We fade to Nuke, arms folded in front of the Ice Age logo. His North American Title draped over his shoulder. His once evil grin now turned bitter. We begin to
Nuke: THIS IS SERIOUS. AS SERIOUS AS CANCER...WHICH IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW IF PRETTY FUCKING SERIOUS!!!
THIS IS SERIOUS!!!
SERIOUS AS CANCER...WHICH IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW IF
PRETTY FUCKING SERIOUS!!!
A quick flash of the two fighting comes up, then fades out with the stare down at the end of Hostile Takeover. With that, the image shattered like ice and gets an aerial shot of the PPV.
The introduction piece to the match has played. We all know the back-story leading to this. To the Buried Alive Match. The arena is was in anticipation. They knew that they still had one more match to go but they also knew this could be the show stealer. That's when the music hit.
Papercut by Linkin Park was blaring. And then the pyrotechnic show began. Green, yellow, red, blue, all the colors exploded in the arena. The lights were out at this time, as multiple color strobe lights were the only thing going off in the arena. Out of the back walked Syphon Fission, nobody at his side. A single black rose in his hand, he walked out. With one glance at the Buried Alive set up, he threw the rose into the grave. He looked at the gravestone. He saw the names; Syphon Fission and Nuke. On the right side of the tombstone was an engraved picture of himself and on the left an engraved picture of Nuke. The words "Buried Alive" with "December 30, 2001" were etched on it.
He turned away and walked to the ring, showing no emotion. He felt calm. He felt the atmosphere the pageantry and knew that this would be his chance to show the world he was still a bona fide prospect. He entered the ring, and strutted to the right corner turnbuckle, and climbed it. He flexed his arms at the crowd. He is officially pumped, as was the crowd.
GP: Syphon Fission is back. One year ago, at Ice Age 3 he had his career opened to new heights in a massive match set with Sam Potright. This year he has to face Nuke the IWO North American Champion. The North American Title is what is at stake and the inside track to the number one contendership of the IWO World Title is also riding on this match.
JT: I do not think either of these men care about that. To them is just a chance to kick the crap out of the other.
The lights were back on. The strobes off. The fancy stuff was gone. And American Psycho by D12 was playing. The cheers went immediately to boos. And out of the back stalked Nuke. His Jason mask was made of gold. His dreadlocks were streaked silver. His usual attire was on. An aluminum bat, with the words ""aluminum ass whooper" was in his right hand. His North American Title was draped over his left shoulder. He strutted to the grave sight and jumped in. He grabbed the black rose and got out of the grave. He walked to the headstone and laughed. He knew that this was his big break. Kick Fission's ass and Seaman or Rivers would HAVE to face him for the IWO World Title. And he was pumped up. All the frustration. All the anger. It all culminated within him for tonight.
He turned away and began to walk to the ring. His cocky demeanor was not going to be kept down. He seemed like the veteran. He seemed like he had done this all before, on an Ice Age of old. He entered the ring. He walked
over to Fission who stood before him, his arms folded. He took off the mask and threw it in the crowd. He threw the bat out of the ring and on the outside. He stood before Fission, and positioned his arms in a crucifix. He
had a sly smile. His eyes were boiling in rage. Fission's once calm attitude was left behind, and anger was etched on his face.
The bell rang. And all holy hell was unleashed.
GP: Nuke and Fission stand before us locked in an epic stare down.
JT: The fans know this
GP: SHUT UP!
Nuke and Fission began to circle each other in an attempt to gain the upper hand. Fission jumped toward Nuke and speared him down to the ground. He began to hammer him with rights and lefts. Nuke was not making an
attempt to block them.
GP: Fission gains the early advantage. Vicious rights and lefts are raining down on Nuke.
With a split second, Nuke pushes Fission off of him. He stands on his feet and soccer kicks Fission.
JT: WHAT A CRACK!
GP: Nuke using the un-technical approach to wrestling
JT: AND FISSION'S TACKLING AND TURNING NUKE INTO A HUMAN PUNCHING BAG MAKES FISSION MISTER TECHNICAL WRESTLING?! PARKER EAT YOUR OATMEAL AND SHUT YOUR FACE!
GP: I don't have any oatmeal J
JT: ZIP IT!
Nuke is now on top of Fission and returning the favor from earlier. He begins to hammer Fission's head with thunderous left hands. Fission then puts a choke hold on Fission.
JT: GO NUKE! CHOKE HIS ASS!
GP: Unfortunately this is a Buried Alive Match. And as is customary the only rule is to bury your opponent alive. Nuke should be disqualified for that choke but you can cheat. Damn it!
Nuke now has a rear choke hold on Fission. He laughs as he has it applied. Fission, who is struggling for his throat, is gasping for air. He stands up with Nuke on him. With Nuke on his back, Fission stands up. He drops
Nuke to the ground on his back, and breaks the hold. Fission gets up and starts to kick at the fallen man.
GP: Fission, again with the advantage. He begins to kick him.
JT: This should be just an ordinary street brawl
Fission stops kicking, and rips Nuke to his feet, only to take him down with a roundhouse left to the temple. He then mounts and begins to choke Nuke with both hands. Nuke's arms and leg flail wildly as Syphon Fission
attempts to squeeze the life out of body.
Nuke is able to get Fission off of him with a kick to the back of the head. Nuke takes Fission out of action Momentarily with a low spin kick to Fission badly injured knee, while he was still on the ground. Syphon let out a yelp of pain. He knee buckled and Syphon Fission went down with it. Nuke took a momentary breather, then rose to his feet.
Nuke pull Fission to his feet, and Irish whipped him into the corner. Nuke then unleashed a vicious barrage of knife hand chops to the chest of Syphon Fission.
GP: I know. You can hear his hand slap Fission's flesh through out the arena.
Nuke then grabs Syphon Fission by the hair, and slams him back first onto the canvas. Syphon Fission grabs the back of his head in pain, while Nuke pulls at the turnbuckle covering.
JT: Nuke's pulling of the cushion on the turnbuckle!
Nuke rips of the cloth and foam covering the top steel turnbuckle, and tosses it out of the ring. He then directs his attention to Syphon Fission, lifting him up by the hair and taking him to the corner.
JT: He's gonna bust Fission open with the uncovered turnbuckle!
GP: Nuke lifts Syphon Fission's head and prepares to slam-NO! Syphon Fission uses the ropes to block this attempt by Nuke!
Nuke tries again, but Fission elbows him in the gut, causing him to release the patch of hair he was clutching so tightly. Syphon Fission took hold of Nuke's dreads and bent back Nuke's head. Fission screams something at
Nuke then sends his head crashing into the exposed turnbuckle. Fission pulls Nuke's head back again, and yells at him. Fission then repeatedly slams Nuke's face into the turnbuckle, and a rapid pace and showed no signs of stopping.
JT: Look at him go!!
GP: He's like a man possessed!
Fission rears Nuke's head back and smashes it against the turnbuckle one final time. Nuke falls backward to the mat. Fission takes to the top rope, and flys off with an elbow drop. No one's home.
Nuke pulls himself under the bottom rope and to the outside. Fission is on his back quickly however, and grabs him by the hair beginning to pull him in. Nuke grabs Syphon Fission's head, and jumps down off the apron, sending Syphon Fission's neck snapping off the top rope, and flinging him to the mat.
Nuke hops onto the apron, grabs hold of the top rope, and uses it to springboard into the ring, and land on Fission, knocking the wind out of him. Nuke gets on his hands and knees and screams obscenities into Syphon
Fission's ear. He then goes to work pounding at Fission's face with lefts and rights. He ceases suddenly, and exits the ring, leaving Syphon Fission laying on the mat, and slowly getting to his feet.
JT: Yeah! Look how bloody Syphon Fission is.
GP: That my be true. But Nuke's face isn't untouched neither.
JT: Yeah, that turnbuckle busted him up good.
Nuke re-enters the ring, this time with a folded steel chair. Fission is still getting to his feet, so Nuke charges at him the steel chair raised above his head.
GP: Oh man Syphon Fission better watch it here.
Nuke's rapidly closing in on him, but Fission, thinking quickly ducks a shoulder and back body drops Nuke up and over the top rope sending Nuke's body crashing into the guardrail outside. Fission himself climbs to the
top rope and flies off with a suicide plancha landing squarely on Nuke's chest. Fission rolls off clutching his chest, as the move knocked the wind out of him, and Nuke's lets out a blood curling scream of agony, as he
clutches his throbbing rib cage.
JT: Oh com'on! I used to like Nuke but I don't know about him anymore. Screaming like a little bitch like that.
GP: Hell you'd scream too, if Syphon Fission landed on you lungs. And remember his ribs still haven't fully healed from 2 weeks ago.
Both men are down, and their faces painted in crimson. But Nuke seems in worse shape. Fission top rope maneuver re-aggravated Nuke ribs which are still hurt from the locker Syphon Fission toppled on top of him.
Fission got to his feet, and spotted Nuke thriving in pain. Syphon Fission then notices the steel chair, laying next to Nuke's body.
Fission grabs up the steel chair, and comes down on Nuke's body.
He misses and hits the ground because Nuke rolls out of the way. Nuke pops up to his feet, and uppercuts Syphon Fission. Fission drops the chair and staggers backwards. Nuke tries his best to push the pain out of his mind, and rushes Syphon Fission with a knee lift. Nuke's knee smashes into Fission's nose, and blood begins to gush out immediately on impact.
JT: NUKE JUST BROKE SYPHON FISSION'S NOSE WITH THAT KNEE LIFT!! LOOK AT THE BLOOD!!
Syphon Fission doesn't let it slow him down though. He charges back at Nuke with a forearm to the face, taking Nuke down hard. Fission then grabbed the steel chair from earlier, and waited for Nuke to get back up to his feet.
And when he did...
Syphon Fission nailed him with a wicked chair shot to the face, denting the steel and possibly Nuke's cranium in the possess. The shot, opened up a wide gash in Nuke's forehead. He lay on ground fighting to stay conscious. Fission dropped the chair, and began taunting Nuke you lay helpless on the ground. The fans were cheering wildly for him.
GP: Listen to the fans JT.
JT: They want Fission to kill him! How dare they wish such harm on him. Nuke has brought so much to the IWO. Why without him we wouldn't use the term "fucktard" on a regular basis.
GP: OK, we hardly ever use the term fucktard, and I'm pretty sure Nuke stole that saying form a radio show or something. Even so, I'm pretty sure IWO could survive with out the phase "fucktard"
JT: *gasp* HHH!! PERISH THE THOUGHT! AN IWO with out "FUCKTARD"?!?! Nay! I say to you sir!! NAAAAAAAY!!!
GP: You're an idiot.
Syphon Fission answered the fans calls beating down on Nuke with the bent steel chair. Fission finally let up, and Nuke lay motionless on the ground, presumably unconscious. Fission saw his opportunity to end this early. He began to drag Nuke toward the exit ramp wear a coffin and a grave lay.
GP: Well Fission is going to end this thing right here it seems.
JT: I wouldn't count Nuke out just yet Greg! Look!
The sound of aluminum thundering off the back of Syphon Fission's head echoed throughout the arena, as Fission let Nuke go and grabbed at his head.
JT: He hit him with the "Aluminum Ass Whooper"!!
GP: What the hell!! How did he get that thing! Didn't he throw it out of the ring?
JT: Exactly! When Fission was dragging him on the ground toward the grave, Nuke grabbed it as they passed unbeknownst to Syphon Fission!
GP: Well ain't that some shit.
Fission, hurt but not out just yet is down to one knee. Nuke, using the bat at leverage gets to his feet, but is still visibly groggy from Syphon Fission's earlier attacks. Fission spins around and heads for Nuke. Nuke rears back with all his might and homerun swings at Syphon's head.
The crowd goes silent as the sound of aluminum colliding with skull again thunders throughout the arena, this time with much more amplitude.
GP: MY GOD!! SYPHON FISSION NEARLY HAD HIS HEAD DISCONNECTED FROM HIS
The hit straightens out Syphon Fission for a moment, then he collapses to the ground. Nuke is up and looks to going for the kill. But he wobbles uneasily for a few seconds before crumbling to the ground himself.
GP: BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!! POSSIBLY DEAD!!
JT: WHAT A MATCH!!
Both men laid, back first, motionless as the fans and announcers looked on.
GP: Damn. I don't see how either man will be able to continue this match JT. They're both pretty messed up.
JT: Geez, that's what you always say, and they always end up getting up and fighting again.
GP: Well...maybe I'm right this time.
Greg is once again proved wrong as both men begin to stir at the cheers of the crowd.
GP: Shut up JT. I don't want to hear it.
Nuke and Syphon Fission both raise to their feet, Fission using the ring apron to pull himself up, Nuke making use of the guard rail. Both men make eye contact with each other. From there emotions took over.
Nuke and Syphon Fission charged at each other colliding in a clash of fist. The two brawl furiously. Nuke got the upper hand jabbing Fission in the throat, and momentarily stunning him. Nuke drove a knee into Syphon Fission's guts, bending him over. Nuke grabbed Syphon by the head, and lead him toward the ring steps, sending Syphon Fission head first into it, dislodging the steel stair case from the ring. Nuke picked up the steps and slammed it down on Syphon Fission's body. He raised the steps again, and again slammed it down on the downed
Syphon Fission. Again, and again.
Nuke finally let up, and lifted Fission to his feet, Nuke took Fission and tossed him onto the Spanish announcers table. The SAP announcers fled the area, sensing the destruction which will come in mere seconds. Nuke laid a
few solid punches to the face of Syphon Fission making sure he stayed down. Nuke then got onto up the table himself, and brought Syphon Fission to his feet. Nuke grabbed Syphon Fission and nailed him with a "Paranoia", sending both men crashing through the wooden table.
GP: PARANOIA!! NUKE HIT THE PARANOIA THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCERS TABLE!!
JT: When will the spanish ever learn?
Nuke rose to his feet, and pulled Syphon Fission's body with the wreckage of broken wood. Fission looked knocked out cold. Nuke grabbed Syphon Fission by the ankle, and dragged him toward the grave.
GP: Fission is out cold. Nuke could have this one wrapped up.
Nuke drug Syphon Fission by the ankle up the metal entrance ramp. Syphon Fission was being dragged like a rag doll, and the bumps from his head hitting the steel ramp must have smacked up awake, because he began to stir, unbeknownst to Nuke.
JT: Fission's not out of this yet.
GP: Yeah, and Nuke doesn't even realize it yet.
Nuke stopped by the grave, and let go of Syphon Fission. He kicked Syphon Fission into the grave, then went for the shovel to finally end this mess. The shovel was missing however.
Nuke searched around the area for the missing shovel, but was unable to find it. He continued looking but with no luck. After a few seconds the missing shovel resurfaced...
in Syphon Fission's hand.
Syphon swang the shovel, hitting Nuke square in the shoulder blades. Nuke dropped to the ground, as Syphon Fission hovered over him. Fission pushed Nuke into the grave.
He began to shovel dirt into the hole, but Nuke's hand shot up, and grabbed him by the ankle. Nuke pulled Syphon Fission into the gave with him. The two tried to brawl, but the confines of the small grave gave little room to throw a decent punch. They grappled and wrestled each, until Nuke smashed his head into Syphon's with a headbutt that made Fission release him.
Nuke scrambled out of the grave, and Syphon Fission followed. The two exchanged punches, back and forth. Nuke ducked a Fission left hook, and grabbed Syphon Fission from behind.
He lifted Syphon Fission into the air, leaving Fission laying back first across Nuke's shoulder, while Nuke held him up by the tights. Nuke jerked backwards slamming Syphon Fission directly on his head and neck. Syphon
Fission's body laid awkwardly on the entrance ramp.
GP: A BACKDROP DRIVER!! NUKE COULD HAVE PARALYZED SYPHON FISSION WITH THAT MOVE!! MY GOD!
JT: I think that was the first actual wrestling move used in this match thus far.
Syphon Fission was thriving in pain on his back. Nuke get to his feet, and lifted up Syphon Fission. He tossed Syphon Fission down the ramp. Fission's body rolled down the finally stopping once he hit the ring.
Nuke followed, strolling confidently down toward Syphon Fission while taunting the fans. The fans answered back, throwing articles of trash at him, and booing their hearts out.
GP: Look at that bastard. He's so cocksure of himself.
JT: ...What...did you just say?
GP: I said he's cocksure.
GP: What?...Stop looking at me like that.
GP: Cocksure is a word. It means arrogant.
JT: Suuuuuure it does Greg. Suuuure.
GP: Oh shut up, and please just stop thinking with your penis for five minutes.
Nuke reaches Syphon Fission and stomps the shit out of him. Nuke lifts Syphon Fission to his feet, and lands a stiff right to Syphon Fission's face. Nuke then rolled Syphon Fission under the ropes and into the ring.
Nuke lifted the ring apron, and dug underneath the ring searching for something. Nuke finally stops, and pulls out a singapore cane.
JT: Singapore canes? Since when do we carry those?
GP: We don't! Nuke probably had his demented manager midget Nuke place it there. Who knows what other goodies could be stashed somewhere in this very arena.
Nuke enters the ring, and sees Syphon Fission pulling himself up in the corner. Nuke struck him over the head with the singapore cane, bringing Fission to his knees.
Nuke dropped the cane, and ripped Fission up to his feet. He then placed Syphon Fission's arms between the middle and top rope, and entangled them tightly in the ring ropes. Nuke retrieved the singapore cane, as he
flashed sadistic smile at Syphon Fission.
What followed was maybe the most brutal caning IWO television has ever witnessed. Nuke went on a solid 5 minute tear, raining down shots with the cane over Fission's head and body. Syphon Fission was helpless to
defend himself with his arms tied up in the ropes. Nuke finally let up, and untied him from the ring ropes, allowing Fission's limp body to drop the mat. The canvas quickly became soaked red, as Syphon Fission laid a in a bloody beaten heap, with Nuke standing over him.
GP: MY GOD!! THAT WAS BRUTAL!!
Nuke dropped himself backward over the top rope, exiting the ring. The went over to the announcers table. He pulled to metal folding chairs, and slid them into the ring.
GP: Oh on. This is overdoing it. Syphon Fission is still beaten from that inhuman caning at the hands of Nuke. What the hell is he doing with those chairs?
JT: Isn't it obvious?
Nuke placed one chair under Syphon Fission's knee, while Syphon laid prone on the crimson stained canvas. Nuke's eyes glinted in a psychotic rage as he lifted the other chair high over his head, and brought it down on
Syphon Fission's knee.
GP: MY GOD!! MY GOD!! NUKE'S WORKING OVER FISSION'S KNEE WITH THAT CHAIR!! THIS IS FUCKING SICK!!
JT: HOLY SHIT!! THEY MIGHT HAVE TO AMPUTATE THAT THING AFTER NUKE GETS DONE WITH IT.
Nuke savagely struck Syphon Fission's knee repetitively. He finally stopped, tossing the dented steel chair, out of the ring. Syphon Fission's face was twisted in excruciating pain. But Nuke wasn't done just yet.
Nuke kicked Syphon in the side once for good measure, then slid his body halfway out of the ring by the turnbuckle so the steel ring post stood between Syphon Fission's legs.
Nuke grabbed the leg, and slammed it against the steel post, again and again. Nuke then rose up to the top turnbuckle, AND DROPPED DOWNWARD WITH A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP ONTO SYPHON FISSION'S EXPOSED KNEE!
Syphon let out a sickening cry of pain as the grabbed his knee.
GP: Jesus Christ...that...that....that was just...WRONG!
JT: They don't call him the "Innovator of Wrongness" for nothing Greg. Com'on now GP. You've seen this guys promos.
GP: Still, I don't see who Fission's going to be able to use that knee ever again.
Nuke slowly got to his feet. Dropping off the top rope to the outside, hurt him as well. But from the look of pleasure on his face as he stared at Fission still twisting in agony, it was all worth it.
Nuke rolled under the bottom rope into the ring.
GP: Com'on this in more then enough. Someone please stop this.
Nuke lifts Syphon Fission up, and places him on the top rope. Nuke climbs the top rope as well and grabs Syphon Fission from behind with a full nelson.
JT: HE'S GOING FOR THE FULL FRONTAL NUKEITY!!
Nuke attempts the dump Syphon Fission backwards, but is unable to. He tries again, but the same result. Nuke lets go, and is about to grapple Fission again, when Syphon Fission lands a solid back fist to Nuke's face. Nuke is caught completely off guard.
GP: YES!! Syphon Fission is fighting back!
The fans cheer loudly for their hero. Nuke wasn't expecting Syphon Fission to be able to fight back, and was momentarily stunned. Syphon Fission saw his chance.
Syphon Fission dug deep into what ever reservoirs of strength and energy he had, and lifted Nuke over his shoulders. HE THEN JUMPED OFF, NAILING NUKE WITH A "FADED DREAMS" ONTO THE GROUND OUTSIDE THE RING!!
The arena exploded in a chorus of cheers for Syphon Fission.
JT: FADED DREAMS!! FADED DREAMS!! GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW THE FUCK HE GO THE POWER TO PULL IT OFF BUT HE DID!! NAILING NUKE WITH THE FADED DREAMS!!
GP: If you remember that was the same exact move Syphon Fission used to win the North American title for the first time, and nearly *ended* the career of former IWO World Champion Kent Anthason. For once I think its safe
to say. This match HAS to be over. All that's left is for Syphon Fission to dump Nuke into the grave, and bury him. And Nuke's just gonna have to pray the move didn't injure him as badly as it did Anthason.
JT: Syphon's not quite done yet. Look!!
Syphon Fission, struggles his way up to the top rope, and sits on the top turnbuckle. He gingerly raises to his feet, on the turnbuckle and turnstoward the downed Nuke, who lies perfectly still. SYPHON FISSION THEN FLIES OFF WITH A DOUBLE KNEE DROP, DRIVING BOTH KNEES INTO NUKE'S CHEST!!
GP: JESUS CHRIST!!
Nuke lets out an inhuman howl of pain which resonated throughout the arena. His entire body contorted in torment. His shrieks of anguish were only interrupted by the sounds of him coughing, choking, and gargling on is own blood. An ungodly blood spewed from his mouth, dribbling down his lips and drenching his already blood stained wifebeater tanktop, a blackish red hue.
Syphon Fission was no better off. In the heat of the moment he completely forgot about his knee, which was brutally mangled by Nuke. The knee drop sent a surge of unimaginable pain throughout his person, and his body mercifully passed out to bring a momentary end to his suffering.
Both men laid, dead still in there respective pools of life liquid.
GP: This is sick. How can these men do this to themselves.
JT: I don't think either man's body will be the same after this match. But this great entertainment!! I'm loving this!
GP: As sick as that sounded, so do the fans in this arena. Listen to them cheer!!
The screen goes to a wide shot of the thousands in attendance on their feet cheering both wrestlers on.
GP: Who can these people applaud this display? Can you believe this JT...... JT?
JT: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!!
GP: Sit down and shut up JT.
Several minutes pass and still there is no movement from either wrestler. IWO officials send in EMT's. The medics begin to tend to injures of both men.
GP: Thank you. Finally, someone intervenes before one or BOTH of this men lose their lives.
JT: Oh please, Greg. Those ToT were way more violent than this, and no one stopped Potright or HIT from fighting.
JT: Exactly. Now will someone tell those medics to get the fuck out of there so the carnage can resume!!
GP: Actually I literally think this one is over. Look.
Meygon, with a mic in her hand takes center ring.
JT: Oh no!
GP: This is probably for the best.
Meygon: Due to their injures both men will be unable to continue this match. As a result, this match is nullified by reason of...
JT: WAIT!! LOOK!!
Everyone's attention is returned to the bottom of the entrance ramp were both wrestlers were being loaded onto stretchers. Nuke, with new bandages wrapped around his now bare chest is up to his feet, and heading toward
Syphon Fission who lies on the stretcher!
JT: YOU guys might of called this match. But *Nuke* seems to disagree.
EMT's are setting up Syphon Fission's knee in a splint to stabilize it, when Nuke barges in. The EMT's scatter as Nuke climbs on top of the stretcher and lays in on Fission with shots to the face.
JT: YES!! THIS MATCH IS STILL ON!! LET THE CARNAGE RESUME!!
Nuke ruthlessly punches away at Syphon Fission's face and body. Fission gets a surge of energy from nowhere, and shoves Nuke off of him. He now returns the favor punching Nuke in the face. Nuke kicks Fission off of him, and gets to his feet.
Fission grabs stretcher and swings it at Nuke. Nuke ducks decks Fission in the stomach. Nuke grabs the stretcher and slams it down on Syphon Fission's back. He then allows Fission to rise to his feet. Nuke picks up the stretcher once more, turns it sideways, and swings at Syphon hitting him dead in the throat.
Syphon Fission goes down clutching his neck. Nuke goes on the attack again, but Fission fends him off with a quick eye rake stunning Nuke long enough, to give him time to scramble into the ring.
Syphon Fission enters the ring and Nuke follows. Nuke charges at Syphon Fission, but Fission takes him down with a quick drop-toe-hold, causing the mat to rush up and meet with Nuke's face.
Syphon Fission stands over Nuke's body. He grabs Nuke in a waistlock and dumps him over with a wheel barrow suplex. Syphon then brings Nuke to his feet, and snap suplex him back down. Fission lifts Nuke up again, and
nails him with a Minichou Driver.
JT: Syphon's in the zone!
GP: Syphon Fission's hitting a string of high impact moves on Nuke. Finally this is looking more like a wrestling match.
Fission pauses to catch a breather. He then lifts up Nuke and applies a standing head scissor. Syphon Fission then motions to the crowd, and the go wild.
JT: Uh oh!
GP: We know what this means!
JT: DEATH PLUNGE TIME!!
Syphon underhooks one of Nuke's arms. Then the other. But before he can complete the move, Nuke straightens up. Syphon Fission starts to flip over Nuke's back, but Nuke grabs Syphon's ankles and falls backward pancake
slamming Syphon Fission onto the ring ropes. Fission lands stomach first on the top rope.
Nuke lifts up Syphon Fission's feet, so he lies perpendicular to the canvas, his torso held up by the ring ropes. Nuke then kicks Syphon Fission in the groin, and lets him drop to the mat.
GP: Syphon really didn't need that, especially on top of all the injures Fission's dealing with.
Nuke raises Syphon Fission up, and applies a waistlock from behind. Nuke dumps Syphon Fission over with a German suplex, but holds one and dumps Fission over with another, and another, and another, and another! Nuke brings Syphon up and over one last time. Syphon's back and neck crash to the mat.
Syphon begins to get to his feet, but Nuke takes him right back down with a running soccer kick to the side. Nuke then rips Syphon Fission to his feet, and puts him in position for his finisher.
JT: BURNING PSYCHOSIS!! NUKE'S GOING FOR THE BURNING PSYCHOSIS!
Nuke lifts Syphon Fission up and slams him down with a "Burning Psychosis". Syphon Fission lays motionless on the mat.
JT: He's out cold!!
GP: Nuke just might have this one wrapped up folks.
But Nuke doesn't go to end this. He instead begins searching under the ring for something.
GP: Nuke's not gonna go for the win!
JT: HA! He's gonna hurt Syphon Fission even *more*!!
Nuke pulls out a trashcan. With in one hand he goes and grabs steel chair from the front row, shoving a fan off of his seat. Nuke re-enters the ring, and props up Syphon Fission to make him sit up straight. Nuke places the trash can over his head and torso.
Nuke then rears back the steel chair, and...
Delivers a wicked chair shot to the trashcan with Syphon Fission still in it.
But Nuke isn't done yet.
Nuke continues to beat down on the can and Syphon Fission with the steel chair. When he's finally done, the trashcan is dented badly, and when Nuke rips it off revealing Syphon Fission body, Fission looked much worse.
Nuke picked up the steel chair and went for another chairshot, but Syphon Fission was able to nail him with a low blow. Nuke drops the chair and bends over in pain.
Syphon Fission, again digging down deep for strength hoist himself up to his feet, visibly favoring that injured right knee, and puts Nuke in a standing head scissors.
Syphon then gave Nuke a Death Plunge onto the steel chair.
JT: DEATH PLUNGE!! NUKE JUST GOT A DEATH PLUNGE ONTO THAT STEEL CHAIR!! HOLY SHIT!!
GP: Nuke could've had this match won if he just dragged Syphon Fission up the grave and dumped him in. It seems he's about to pay for his carelessness, as the momentum of this match has done a 180 in Syphon Fission's favor.
The fans cheer their heads off, while Syphon Fission slumps himself in a nearby corner taking a badly need moment for recovery.
Syphon Fission rose up again, and stomped Nuke to the outside under the ring ropes, sliding under himself afterwards. Syphon Fission then dragged Nuke's body up the ramp, and near the grave.
GP: All Syphon Fission has to do is dump Nuke in that grave and pile enough dirt on top of him and this is all over.
Syphon Fission drags Nuke inches from the open grave. Fission then brings Nuke to his feet, and lays him stomach first over his shoulders. He then angles himself sideways to the grave.
GP: What the hell is he doing! There's no need to end it like this. He has Nuke down already.
JT: HE'S GONNA GIVE NUKE A FADED DREAMS INTO THE FUCKING GRAVE!! OH THIS IS GONNA BE SO SWEET!!
Syphon Fission had Nuke in position, and with the fans cheering him on, goes to cease this madness, but he stopped. He's face twisted in pain. His knee began to buckle.
Nuke regained consciousness in the midst of this, and saw he was in a dire situation. Nuke scrambled down off of Syphon Fission's shoulders, and wrapped Fission up in a small package.
JT: What the fuck is he pinning!! Newsflash assface!! THERE ARE NO PINS IN A BURIED ALIVE MATCH DUMBASS!!
GP: I think he knows that.
Nuke obviously was aware there was no pinfalls in this match. He wasn't expecting a 3 count. Nuke wrapped Syphon Fission up in a small package in an attempt to sap him of whatever strength he had, and to put added
pressure onto his injured knee. Syphon was powerless to escape though he struggled violently.
His fighting begin to die down however as time passed, and finally after several minutes of psychical anguish, Syphon Fission fell limp.
JT: He's out again.
GP: Man. Both men have lost consciousness several times during the duration of this match. In the real world this would lead to some serious brain damage.
JT: But this is the IWO! Where Jesus's brother Steve found employment, little midgets donning Jason masks run fee, and if you die on show, you pretty much have a 50/50 chance of suddenly being alive the following week.
GP: Yeah...this is a fucking weird place we work for.
Nuke releases Syphon Fission, sensing victory is near.
He was wrong.
Syphon Fission drove his fist into Nuke's rib cage, bringing Nuke to his knees in pain.
JT: Syphon Fission was playing possum!
Nuke pops back up to his feet, and back pedals away from Syphon Fission. Syphon Fission charges in and nails Nuke with a running spear. He lifts Nuke of his feet, and uses his momentum to carry both of them into the back
area crashing into a wall.
Nuke wears a tortured expression on his face, as he clutches his injured rib cage. Syphon Fission has no compassion however for the man who attempted to bury his beloved girlfriend, Quinn and succeeded in burying Fission in hundreds of pound of earth.
Syphon Fission mercilessly stomps down on Nuke's chest, causing Nuke to cough up blood. Syphon Fission then went for a DDT, but Nuke turned into a release Northernlights Suplex, leaving Syphon in a heap on the concrete floor.
Nuke pulls Syphon Fission to his feet, and grapples and Fission fights him off. Nuke goes for right hook, but Fission ducks and grabs Nuke from behind. Syphon Fission goes for back drop driver, but Nuke has other plans, and stays firmly on the ground, locking Fission's head in his arms.
Nuke then runs toward the wall with Syphon Fission still in a headlock, and runs up the wall, kicking off of it, and flipping backwards nailing Syphon Fission with a "Silent Screams".
GP: SILENT SCREAMS! NUKE HIT A SILENT SCREAMS ON SYPHON FISSION!
JT: Damn. I didn't even know you could do that with out ring ropes.
Nuke was still bent over, his arms hugging his rib cage, while Syphon Fission thrived in pain a few feet over.
Nuke get up and made his way back onto the entrance ramp. Syphon Fission groggily followed. Syphon Fission and Nuke were face to face barely able to stand. Nuke landed a clumsy right connecting with Fission's jaw, Syphon Fission retaliated with a left of his own.
Nuke then back away form Syphon Fission then began to climb the IWO-Tron.
JT: He's climbing to the top!
GP: Oh no. Doing that never ends in a good result.
Nuke slowly climbs up the side of the large screen, taunting Syphon Fission to follow. Syphon was more that happy to oblige, and scramble up to meet with Nuke. The two continued to climb higher and higher.
GP: Jesus, those two must be like 30 maybe 40 feet up! Oh this isn't gonna be good.
JT: Maybe not for them, but I sure as hell am gonna love what about to happen next!!
The continued climbing, then Nuke abruptly stopped. Nuke, his lips curled in a sinister grin looked down at Syphon Fission directly below him.
GP: Uh oh. I don't like that psychotic look he's got in his eyes.
NUKE DROPS OFF OF THE IWO-TRON, PULLING SYPHON FISSION DOWN WITH HIM!! BOTH MEN TAKE 40 FOOT PLUNGE INTO THE STAGE EQUIPMENT BELOW!!
GP: Ok...now if these two are NOT dead...well I just give up hope that reality exist in any way shape or form in the confines of the IWO.
Their impact point is a mangled wreckage of flesh and wood. There was no movement by either man.
5 minutes pass
10 minutes pass
*15* minutes pass
The officials are about ready to call this match yet again, but the wreckage begins to move! From underneath the debris, Syphon Fission pulls his body up, and using is arms he climbs up to the entrance ramp. Nuke soon
GP: Holy... fucking...SHIT!!
Both men now crawled up to the entrance ramp, and began to make a slow rise to their feet.
The scene at this point is pretty gruesome to behold. There are several mangled chairs, a crushed announcer table, a broken stretcher, and 1000's of dollars worth of broken equipment by the ramp. These to men have dripped red streaks all over the ring, the outside area, and parts of the backstage.
But they still weren't done.
Now the both stood, barely able to stand. Syphon Fission on his feeble right knee, and Nuke still coughing up crimson, from a possibly puncture lung, and both men were wobbling drunkenly, woozy from blood loss. But *still* willing to fight.
GP: Man. What a match this has turned out to be. I don't know how Syphon Fission and Nuke are doing it, but their still standing!
JT: And ready to FIGHT!! YEAH!!
JT however was...
Nuke walked toward Syphon Fission. Fission put up his fist preparing to fight, but Nuke strolls right past him. Syphon Fission stands there dumfounded.
JT: Hey...uhm...Nuke. The guy you want to fight is over there.
GP: I don't think Nuke cares.
Nuke knew where Syphon Fission was, but he really didn't give a fuck. He has a silly looking smile on his face as he heads toward the grave.
He turns around, and looks dead at Syphon Fission...
then falls back into the grave.
JT: WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING? I WANT MORE BLOOD!!
Syphon Fission limps over to the grave and peers down into it, as confused as everyone else. Nuke screams at him to bury him. Syphon Fission, though bewildered, isn't stupid, and knows a golden opportunity when he sees
He grabs the shovel and piles on, spade-fulls of dirt, until Nuke is completely submerged under a layer of dirt.
Meygon: Winner, and you're *new* IWO North American Champion... SYYYYYYYYPHOOOON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSIIIIIIIIOOOOONNNN!!
GP: Finally the bloodbath ends. Lets move on to the main event please.
JT: What a fucking jip!! I feel cheated Greg.
GP: What are you talking about? That was a excellent match. And bloody, what you love the most JT.
JT: Yeah, but it ended in a dud. Fucking Nuke!! That pussy threw the match!
GP: I don't know. Nuke doesn't seem like the type that would cower like this, unless it meant personal gain. I think he had other intension in mind...God and Nuke alone might know these intensions now, but I'm sure he had one.
Syphon Fission takes a much needed rest and sits down by the grave.
Suddenly Nuke's hand shoot up out from under the dirt, and Nuke pulls himself out of the grave.
JT: YES!! I KNEW NUKE WASN'T PUSSYING OUT!! I KNEW HE'D HAVE THE LAST WORD!! I NEVER DOUBTED HIM FOR A SECOND!!
GP: But you just finished calling him a...
JT: NOT A *SECOND*!
Syphon Fission cuts his break short and the two commence an intense stare down. Nuke breaks the stare down, cracking a smile at Syphon Fission and patting him on the back as he walks out of the arena.
JT: Alright...now I'm am thoroughly perplexed...what the hell just happened.
GP: I don't know. All I do know is...Nuke battled savagely in this grueling match, and ended it with him giving Syphon the win, a pat on the back...and a smile.
"Papercut" by Linkin Park blares as Syphon Fission is handed the North American Title, and the fans go nuts. A shot of Nuke walking to the back bleeding and smiling to himself is shone, as ring crews clean up this mess, and get prepared for the main event.
GP: That was very...odd.
JT: Ya know...for some so hopelessly deranged...Nuke sure smiles a lot.
GP: Yeah...I noticed that too. But now, I believe Nikki is backstage with Simon Seaman...
JT: Our World Heavyweight Champion.
GP: But for how long.
JT: However fucken long he wants to be you insolent...
Backstage, loud boos are instantly heard as Nikki stands there with none other than IWO World Heavyweight Champion, Simon Seaman.
Nikki: Simon Seaman, this is your night to prove yourself. In a glass hell in a cell, you face Matt Rivers. Any thoughts?
Staring up at the ceiling, he slams his fist against his hand and begins.
Simon: Matt Rivers. Matt. Rivers. How come whenever I utter that name, it makes my stomach turn? Why is it that whenever I try to do something good for this company, you just come out of nowhere and mess it all up. And to think, I was nice enough to give you yet another shot at my IWO World Heavyweight Championship. You can thank you're lucky stars and you can thank me that you're getting another shot because as long as I'm the champ, this will be the last shot that you will ever going to receive, you hear that? Ever. Can you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth? Do I have to spell it out in graffiti for you? On a billboard? In the sky for the whole world to see? That's right. It is now or never for you and never seems like the final answer.
Glancing at the world title over his shoulder, he smirks a little bit and turns his attention to the camera.
Simon: When will you learn that Simon Seaman as the world champion was always meant to be? The people in the audience know it. I know they didn't pay their hard earned money to see someone like you.
Heckles and boos start up from the crowd again.
Simon: I'm here tonight and you're here as well to end this. This rivarly, this feud, whatever you want to call it. I'm sick of tired on having to see your fu...ug...fugly face across the ring from me and I'm guessing your sick and tired and having to get your ass handed to you every time you have to wrestle moi. So, that's why this match was made. Glass hell in a cell for the IWO world title. How sweet it is, oh how sweet it is.
Clearing his throat, he rubs his hands together in anticipation of the match.
Simon: You know, Rivers. I want to know how your Christmas went? Did Santa Claus break and enter into your cardboard box with that lump of coal you have always deserved? Did he start drinking milk straight out of the
carton as you slept on the couch watching tapes of you and your former love and what was never meant to be? No? Well let me tell you about my Christmas. I got two things. You know what the first thing was? Actually, I'm
looking to give it to you. Talent. What do you mean you haven't heard of it before? Anyway, the second thing I got which was extremely important was something special. It was peace of mind.
Simon hands the title over to Nikki and he grabs the microphone and begins to get more and more animated in his movements.
Simon: Peace of mind knowing that I don't have to beat you to become the champ. You have to beat me. So today, as I woke up, combed my hair twenty thousand times like I always do, losing count and then having to do it again, I did my daily routine like it was just any other day and to tell you the truth, well I'll tell you the truth. It will truly be just any other day because tonight in that cell, I will remain the IWO world champion and that will be that. Good luck on my match tonight, I'm going to need it.
Pondering the remark, he corrects himself.
Simon: Wait, I'm not going to need any luck tonight. Oh, that's right. I didn't know. My bad. I guess that must be you.
Handing the mic over to Nikki, the fans show their hatred for Simon as she slowly hands the title back to him. He quickly pries it from her hands.
Simon: Give me that!
Storming out of the shot, she is left there standing with a furious look in her face.
And suddenly, the scene returns to the ring, where we see the four men who were running around the entire evening, "yoinking" people. Aaron Smith, John, Jack Block, and Doug O'Hara, all racing to the ring, trying to warn each other. It seems to not work however, as they begin to fight.
Suddenly, Bill Gates appears omnisciently over the arena, and he hits a button... a button that shuts down AOL Instant Messanger for Good. And now, there is no more yoinking... the yoinking is done...
Damn Gates to Hell... Or something.
IWO World Heavyweight Championship Match
Glass Hell in a Cell
Simon Seaman -c- vs. Matt Rivers
GP: Ladies and gentleman, up next is a match we have all been waiting for. At the biggest Pay-Per-View of the year, didn't you think that we were going to deliver with what could be the biggest battle of the year?
JT: Greg Parker, history, HISTORY will be made here tonight. For there will be no Trick or Treats matches, no Life, Death and Endurance matches, none of what you have already seen before. Here in front of the world, in that
structure you see above our heads, two men battle in this cell and one man leaves Ice Age the champ.
GP: You got that right. Only one can be the champion, but who? We'll find that out soon enough.
JT: That structure made out of pure glass will be lowered down. A glass hell in a cell will be lowered down onto this arena floor and will contain Matt Rivers and IWO World Heavyweight Champion Simon Seaman. You want something new? You want something different? You want a show? Well this is it folks. Insane stipulations are going to be thrown out the window tonight. There may be blood, there may be violence, but in the end, this is
a good old fashioned wrestling match. It will just be like any other match, but pinfalls count anywhere. Oh yeah, did I mention the big ass cell that will surround them?! That's pretty important.
GP: Seaman has been avoiding Rivers for long enough. He made this match-up, he wants to prove to the world that he can do this and he'll be willing to be confined in that if it means that he will remain the world champion.
JT: The word "legend" to Simon Seaman isn't something he wants to be associated with. Just like every ordinary human walking this earth, this is his job. You want to hate him for what he does? Then go ahead. He wants to prove a point. That he isn't walking on the ground that the men before him had made. Simon Seaman is paving his own way.
GP: Since September, each man has been at each other's throats. Back and forth, left and right, up and down, you name it. They've tried to one up one another, but couldn't. We saw Simon escape from Rivers for what could be a billion times and finally, here at Ice Age, it will hopefully all come to an end. In a moment, we find out just who deserves to be the IWO world champion and don't forget, the guest referee will be none other than LLB.
JT: The law will be in full force here at the Cow Palace, but you know something? LLB has never had to face Simon Seaman, Simon Seaman has never had to face LLB. They've never met in person, but it seems to me that something is going to clash in that ring and it won't be what they're wearing.
GP: It's that time, so let's take it to the squared circle!
Ring announcer Meygon stares up and notices the glass hell in a cell being lowered down. Making her way out of the ring, she walks down the steel steps and over to the timekeeper's table. Noticing the immense structure moving down closer and closer to the floor, the crowd rises to their feet as the lights in the arena dim creating a very dark mood.
GP: There you see it. That's glass. Not Plexiglass, not steel mesh, that's glass. There is absolutely no give and if either Rivers or Seaman ends up hitting that, there are two options. Go nowhere or go right through it.
JT: That glass has to be at least an inch thick. You talk about the ramifications of this match being significant involving which man will lead us into the year 2002, but you've got to be asking yourself, which man is going to come out here standing on his own two feet?
With the cell halfway down, Meygon puts the mic up to her mouth.
Meygon: Ladies and gentleman, this next match is for the IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
The reaction of the crowd is deafening as she continues.
Meygon: And it will be in the confines of a glass hell in a cell!
The arena fills with an awkward hush of silence as they await the participants of this match to reveal themselves and walk down to the ring. Suddenly, 'Points of Authority' by Linkin Park blasts through the speakers. With the audience on their feet, the lights brighten as LLB, wearing a referee's shirt slowly marches down the ramp.
Meygon: First, coming down to the ring, he is your guest referee for this championship match-up. From Vineland, New Jersey and the jOlt wrestling organization, HE...IS...L-L-B!
GP: Law & Order is here in full force.
JT: What is LLB doing in the Internet Wrestling Organization? He has no right to step foot in an IWO ring and make his presence at Ice Age IV!
GP: Don't ask me, ask IWO President Tom Ford. Seaman thinks he can do whatever he wants, but he's going to have to obey the law whether he likes it or not.
LLB walks up the steel steps and into the ring. Raising his hands up to the audience, they reciprocate with cheers. Pacing back and forth, he stops in the middle of the ring as the glass cell encases ringside and touches the floor. Without further or do, LLB exits between the ropes and jumps on the ground while he is assisted by another referee as they open the door. As the door is flung open, LLB gives the thumbs up that he's ready as the referee strolls back into the back. Checking the walls of the cell for stability or any defects, his entrance music stops as he re-enters the ring.
GP: You can't help but notice the buzz in this air. The magic if you will. The year comes down to this. This one match.
JT: I can't help but notice this damn cell in my way. How am I supposed to run to the back and get a drink?
GP: The biggest Pay-Per-View of the year and all you're worry about is your damn Fresca?
JT: What's wrong with that? Maybe I'll ask the people next to me. On second thought, I don't think so. This is San Francisco by the way. I'm not asking anybody for anything.
'Makin' Money' by Handsome Devil hits the arena as the crowd goes berserk. From out of the entranceway appears Matt Rivers, overwhelmed by the ovation, as he glances to the left and the right of him.
Meygon: The challenger. From Port St. Lucie, Florida. Standing six feet, three inches tall and weighing in at 215 pounds, this is MATT RIVERS!
Walking down to the ring with a purpose, LLB does Rivers a favour and holds the door opened for him. Unwilling to enter, he stares at LLB suspiciously, but then takes in a deep breath and eventually does. Hopping onto the ring apron, he gazes at the enormous cell in amazement and enters the ring via between the ropes. Climbing up the turnbuckles, he poses for the crowd standing on the second turnbuckle as flashbulbs are seen going off throughout the arena. Jumping down from the turnbuckle, he stretches a bit and waits for the champion. LLB continues to stand near the cell door awaiting the arrival of Simon Seaman. With Rivers' entrance theme stopping, the crowd gets ahead of themselves and start to boo loudly in anticipation of Seaman.
GP: Can you hear that? My goodness.
JT: What are these people on? Are they afraid of talent when they see it? Oh no, someone has talent, run. Show some class San Francisco. You too to all you watching at home. Sheesh, you'd think that after Christmas,
these people would be in a happy mood, but no Greg Parker, they are not.
Slowly but surely, the entranceway flashes colours of gold and silver as 'Relax' by Powerman 5000 is heard through the speakers. The delayed arrival of the world champion gets everyone worried as in the ring we see
Rivers shaking his head. Outside of the cell, LLB looks on, squinting his eyes trying to find out what is going on over at the entranceway. Then, a silver pick-up truck emerges from the side of the Ice Age set with Simon Seaman, grinning happily with the IWO world title around his waist, surrounded by bulletproof glass. As the truck enters is driven down to the ring, a few fans in the aisle throw their empty cups toward the champion. Seaman simply ignores it as he waves to the audience and then to LLB, rolling his eyes at him, and then to Rivers, who stares back at him furiously.
Meygon: From Los Angeles, California. Standing six feet, one inch tall and weighing in at 233 pounds. He is the IWO World Heavyweight Champion...SIMON SEAMAN!
GP: What is this? Does Seaman think he's the Pope?
JT: The Pope? Heavens no. Seaman is way better looking than the Pope. At least that's what I heard from my female friends?
GP: Who the hell are your female friends? You don't have any female friends.
JT: Are you dissing my book club?
Exiting the rectangular case of bulletproof glass, Seaman steps down from the bed of the truck and onto the arena floor as the truck is backed up near the Ice Age set. Turning around, he grins at LLB and shakes his hand and enters the cell. His smile then changes to a frown as he looks at Matt Rivers in the ring. Pointing at him shaking his head, Rivers calls him over. Slowly walking over to the steel steps and making his way up them, he gradually enters the ring and stands at the opposite corner as his music comes to a halt. Switching his attention to the fans, he climbs up to the top turnbuckle and raises the IWO world title high over his head as hundreds of pictures are taken and the audience gets on his case. Stepping down, he taunts Rivers, showing him the belt.
GP: It looks like we're ready to start this match.
JT: It's go time, people. Most definitely.
LLB proceeds joins the competitors in the ring. With the crowd in commotion, the champion reluctantly hands over his title belt over to LLB, with a stern demeanor in his voice asking him to take care of it. Nodding his head, LLB raises the title over his head for the whole audience to see and then shows it to Matt Rivers on the opposite corner as he hands the title over to the timekeeper and locks the door to the cell.
GP: What you're looking at right there is the creme de la creme. The IWO World Heavyweight Title. The biggest prize in this company will be on the line tonight.
Staring up at the ceiling of the cell, Simon loosens up. Across from him stands Matt Rivers adjusting his wrestling gear ready to go. LLB signals for the match to start as the participants circle each other.
JT: How much experience does LLB have as a referee anyway? How could Thomas Ford do this? In what is the most important match this year, he puts LLB in charge of making the one, two, three? What is his problem? Ford is out of his mind.
The audience awaits the first tie-up as each man stops in place. Seaman reaches in to get the advantage, but Rivers prevents it. Seaman tries again, but Rivers sidesteps. Finally, they wait for a moment and then tie-up. Circling around attempting to get advantage of the other, Rivers pins Seaman against the turnbuckle. LLB moves between them and breaks the tie-up as both men back up. Urging them to tie-up again, they do, but end up in the corner, this time with Seaman pinning his opponent against the turnbuckle. LLB breaks it up and Seaman immediately charges Rivers to get in a cheap shot, but Rivers ducks and beings to pummel the champ with a flurry of right punches that gets the crowd riled up. Seaman walks along the edge of the ring, using the top rope for guidance trying to walk to the other corner, but is stopped by Rivers. Rivers whips Simon into the opposite set of ropes and seeks to knock Seaman to the mat with a clothesline, but Seaman ducks, bounces of the ropes and holds onto them and exits the ring to regroup on the arena floor. Booing him loudly, Seaman catches his breath. Impatiently, Rivers follows as his opponent doesn't notice. Exiting the ring, he walks over to Seaman and throws him back under the bottom rope and into the ring. Scurrying over to the corner on his knees, he puts his hand out for a handshake as Rivers walks over to him. Looking at the crowd, Seaman awaits his response. Shaking his hand, Seaman smiles, but his grin changes to an expression of pain as Rivers squishes his hand.
GP: And to think, Seaman actually thought one handshake would make up for three months of punishment.
JT: Seaman wasn't trying to make amends with Matt Rivers. He was simply showing good sportsmanship.
Begging to be let go, Rivers guides Seaman to the middle of the ring and releases his grip as Seaman sighs in relief, but then is taken down with a stiff clothesline that sends him down to the canvas. Quickly getting to his
feet, he charges Rivers, but Rivers takes him down with an arm drag. Seaman tries to retaliate running over to his opponent, but Rivers throws him to the mat with another arm drag takedown. Struggling to his feet, Rivers gets in a few forearms to his back before standing him up and whipping him into the ropes. Rivers telegraphs a back body drop attempt and Seaman notices it and kicks him in the chest. Backpedaling from the kick, Seaman rushes at the challenger, but Rivers sidesteps and throws him over the top rope and out of the ring as LLB looks on.
GP: There is no doubt that Matt Rivers has come to fight.
JT: A few minutes into the match and you are already praising Rivers? Typical.
GP: Do you always have to turn anything I say against me?
JT: Pretty much.
Seeking to exit ringside, he is met by solid glass and remembers where he is. Slamming his palms against the cell in frustration, he re-enters the ring.
GP: Nowhere to go, Seaman. You made this match. You deal with the
Pulling himself up he turns around and his face is driven into the top turnbuckle by Rivers. Staggering around, Rivers shoves Seaman again into the corner as he drops down to all fours. Helping Seaman up, Rivers lifts
up Seaman's chin and strikes his chest with a knife edge chop that echoes throughout the arena. Another one almost sends Seaman over the top rope, but Rivers wastes no time and whips Seaman into the opposite corner.
Waiting for Seaman to hit it, he does. Rivers proceeds to follow that up and runs at him, but Seaman counters kicking Rivers in the face with both feet. Rivers does a 360 degree turn as the champion waits for him to turn around and strives to strike his opponent down with a clothesline, but Rivers ducks, holds Seaman by the neck and connects with a neckbreaker.
GP: Great move by Matt Rivers right there. You've got to give credit to these two competitors. This structure is definitely overwhelming to say the least.
JT: Overwhelming? They look like gerbils in this thing. There are even air holes cut out for them in this cell.
GP: It's not exactly air holes. There are gaps between the glass panels. Are you a moron? There isn't such a thing as glass mesh. Even though you would think that it should exist, it doesn't. What do you want them to
do? Collapse in the middle of the ring due to a lack of oxygen?
JT: Depends on how you want to do it. Next Friday at Hostile Takeover, the one after that, the next Pay-Per-View, what?
Seaman gets up to a standing position as Rivers backs him into the corner and whips him into the opposite one. The champ hits the turnbuckles hard and sways back and forth toward him. Rivers then nails Seaman with a
powerslam followed by a quick cover. LLB drops down to make a count, but Seaman kicks out before even a one count is made. Forced back up by his hair, Seaman gets in a few elbows to Rivers' midsection, but it doesn't
faze him as he knees him in the face twice. Now standing, Rivers drags him over against the ropes and whips him into the opposite set, dropping down to the mat, Seaman hops over him and bounces off the ropes a second time. Trying a hip toss, Seaman reverses that attempt into an arm wrench. Striving to escape the hold, Rivers gets in a back elbow which strikes Simon in the side of the head, but doesn't vex him. Spinning around for another back elbow, Seaman ducks and looks to execute a northern lights suplex, but Rivers escapes punching Seaman with a couple of rights. Releasing the hold, Rivers awaits Seaman and as he notices him, the champ charges his opponent, but Rivers gets the upper hand as he drives Seaman up and down onto the top rope. The crowd applauds Rivers' efforts as Seaman seeks refuge out of the ring and exits via under the bottom rope.
GP: Rivers has the advantage right now, but it's too early to tell who has a better chance of winning. You must remember folks that these two competitors are very, very, evenly match. What Seaman lacks in height, he gains in weight. What Rivers lacks in weight, he gains in height. There is only a height difference of about two inches and a weight difference of around twenty pounds. They both wrestle unique styles and I wouldn't be surprised if they try to get in a power move here or there.
JT: Rivers strong suit is his technical ability. Seaman is known to use a few technical moves here and there, but he mainly uses a somewhat unorthodox style which combines a lot of high flying, technical, and yes, a few power
moves as well.
Rivers steps down from the steel steps and proceeds to strike Seaman's head into the steps. LLB watches the action from inside of the ring as Rivers does it again. With a glazed look on Simon's eyes, he leans against
the steps as Rivers takes a breather. Obviously vulnerable to an attack, Seaman crawls over to the corner of the cell trying to escape further punishment. Begging to be spared, Rivers ignores it and walks after him. With Seaman sitting on the arena floor with his back to the cell, Rivers gets closer and closer. Then, from out of nowhere, Seaman pulls Rivers by the tights and pulls him face first into the hard glass. Regaining his composure, Seaman lies there for a moment to rest.
JT: Seaman just pulled that move out of the blue. Him and his surprises. Too much. Just too much.
GP: Quiet, you.
From the floor, he notices Rivers still recovering favouring his head and shoves him into the ring post. Struggling to stand up, Seaman finally does and strikes Rivers in the chest with a knife edge chop. Kicking him in the midsection, he executes another knife edge chop. Backpedaling standing against the wall of glass, he charges Rivers and attempts a clothesline, but Rivers ducks and he ends up striking the ring post instead. Dropping down to one knee, Seaman tries to shake the cobwebs out of his right arm. Holding it in pain, Rivers throws Simon back into the ring as he slowly slides under the bottom rope. With the world champion on all fours, Rivers kicks him in the midsection as he rolls over. another kick sends Seaman almost out of the ring. Against the edge of the ring, Rivers chokes Seaman in the neck with his boot as LLB counts to five. Rivers reluctantly releases it at four as Seaman lets out a loud cough favouring his throat. Putting the boots to him, Rivers follows that up by letting him get back on his feet. Striking him with a flurry of rights that gets him reeling, Rivers whips Seaman into the ropes. The champ comes back and is crashes down to the mat from a enormous back body drop. Bouncing off the ropes, Rivers drops down on his opponent with an elbow drop to the sternum followed by a second. Pulling Seaman to a standing position, he tries to whip Seaman into the ropes, but Seaman ducks under and reverses it, kicking Rivers in the gut. Hooking him up for a vertical suplex, he suspends him in mid-air, but somehow his opponent escapes the move and lands on his feet. Shoving him to the ropes, Seaman bounces off them and Riveres executes a small package. LLB kneels down to make the cover, but the challenger only gets a two count a Seaman kicks out.
GP: Seaman showing some determination getting out of that pin attempt.
Quickly getting up, he starts kicking Rivers in the back of the head. With Rivers up, Seaman whips him into the ropes. Ducking a clothesline attempt, Seaman turns around and hooks Rivers from behind, sending him down to the canvas with a German suplex. LLB slides over to make the count, but only gets one as Rivers hastily escapes.
JT: What kind of count was that by LLB?
GP: Seemed like any other count he has made so far in this match.
JT: Are you blind? That was so slow I aged ten years.
GP: Yeah, right. I'll get my smallest violin to play the saddest song for you.
Trying to slow down the pace, Seaman holds Rivers in a head lock on the mat. The crowd gets behind Rivers to return to his feet, but Seaman disallows it. Wrenching in on the hold, Rivers lets out a scream of pain as he struggles his way up. Getting support from the crowd, Rivers makes his way to a kneeling position. With a few elbows to Seaman's gut, he escapes the hold. Bouncing off the ropes, he is met with a stiff scissors kick to the face as the fans in the arena react surprised by the move in unison.
GP: Seaman almost beheaded the challenger!
JT: Once again, that proves why Seaman is still the world champion. Once again, this proves why Seaman deserves to be where he is today and once again, Rivers was knocked senseless like he was at Utter Obliteration.
GP: If we could take a trip down memory lane for a moment, just one month ago at Utter Obliteration, these two men battled, gave it their all, but in the end, Seaman had to use a chair to defeat Matt Rivers. Here, there will be no question as to who will be the champion because anything is legal in a glass hell in a cell, I'm sure both competitors will put out all the stops in order to be become champion and just take a gander at the referee in that ring. It's LLB.
Walking over to the corner, Seaman gradually climbs the turnbuckles as Rivers shows signs of movement. Standing on the top turnbuckle, Seaman awaits Rivers and as his opponent returns to his feet, Seaman leaps off the turnbuckle and connects with a missile drop-kick. He then immediately crawls over and hooks the leg for another cover.
JT: Can he get him here?
LLB slaps his hand against the mat once, then twice, but right after two, Rivers gets his shoulder up as Seaman stares at LLB in astonishment. Urging him to make a faster cover, LLB responds by shaking his head and telling him to continue the match.
JT: There you go. Right there. That was the slowest count in the history of the world.
GP: Maybe you're just slow and everything else is moving in real time. Have you ever though about that?
JT: You know, Parker. I was thinking about making a New Year's resolution to be nicer to you, but you know something? No.
Seaman runs off the ropes with a quick leg drop and then proceeds to help Rivers up and whip him into the ropes and tries to nail him with a drop-kick, but Rivers holds onto the top rope and avoids it. Returning to his feet, Seaman runs after Rivers, but Rivers bends down and lifts Seaman up and over the top rope. Landing on his feet, Rivers realizes this and runs off the opposite set of ropes toward Seaman on the ring apron. Without warning, Seaman hip tosses Rivers over the top rope and onto the floor as the challenger hits hard. The crowd gasps in amazement in reaction to the move.
JT: That even hurt me for goodness sake.
GP: A few more feet and Seaman could've hip tossed Rivers into the side of the glass cell. Talk about pain, that would be a different story.
JT: Just a reminder that pin-falls and submissions count anywhere in this glass hell in a cell. Whether it be in the ring or on the floor, it's legal.
GP: Not only is this for the world title, this is Rivers' chance to get revenge on Seaman.
JT: Just a few weeks ago, it was that man in the ring, Simon Seaman, who humiliated Matt Rivers by having Amanda Rivers break up with him in front of thousands of strangers. Talk about heartbreaking, talk about
humiliating, I say it was simply a wake up call that Seaman is no slouch. He means business. He might not seem like the kind of person to do something like that, but he did.
Holding onto his lower back, Rivers desperately seeks to get out of this disadvantage. Hopping from the apron, a few knees to Rivers lower back suffices. Glancing at his surroundings, Seaman marches over to the steel steps while LLB drops to the arena floor to get a closer view of the action.
GP: Oh no, here we go.
JT: Steel steps are made for walking, but I don't think Seaman has that in mind.
Dragging the steel steps closer to Rivers, he sets it down next to his opponent. The champion then proceeds to prop Rivers up on the ring apron as he puts the steps in place. With a several punches to Rivers upper body and
head, Seaman pulls himself onto the apron. Beside the challenger, Seaman secures him in a front face lock and jumps off the apron as Rivers lands face first into the steps from a nasty tornado DDT. While Rivers lays there against the steps favoring his head, Seaman slams his opponent's head against steel. He does it a second time before rolling Rivers back into the ring. Inside, Seaman attacks Rivers' left knee with several kicks and punches.
GP: It seems as though Simon is seeking to destroy Rivers piece of piece.
JT: There is no doubt that Seaman has come into this match with a game plan and just as I suspected, it's coming to fruition.
Hauling Rivers over to the ropes, Seaman puts Rivers' leg in place, hops off the second rope and drops straight down on Rivers' leg. Yelling in distress, Seaman puts his adversary's leg in place and does it again. Dragging Rivers' leg in order to dangle it from the edge of the ring, Seaman does so and then launches himself holding the rope, flipping over, and elbowing Rivers in the leg. Resting for a minute to rest himself, he looks for approval from the fans at ringside, but all they do is heckle him. Waving them off, he continues to focus on Rivers' leg. Getting a running start, he attacks the leg with a forearm. Realizing the ring post beside him, Seaman helps drags Rivers near the ring post. Unexpected, the champ drives Rivers left knee into the post, then looks at the crowd again.
GP: I think I know what's coming. If he gets this on Rivers, his leg will obviously break. This can cause serious, serious injury.
JT: That's exactly the reason why Seaman is doing this.
Turning his attention to the audience, he wastes to much time setting Rivers up for what appears to be a figure four leg lock to the ring post. Rivers struggles and eventually reverses the move, pull Seaman right into the ring post as the fans cheer him on.
GP: Rivers still has it in him.
JT: LLB, you continue failing to fulfill your duties. Award Seaman the victory already. That was obviously a cheap shot. Cheap shot by a cheap individual.
GP: Man, just shut up.
Furious from the challenger's actions, Seaman shakes it off and then applies to move anyway. The fans show their appreciation for him by chanting his fellow competitor's name as Seaman wrenches back on it. LLB checks on Rivers and then starts yelling something at Seaman. Releasing the hold, Seaman returns to his feet and shouts back at LLB. Exchanging words between it other, Seaman shifts his attention back onto his opponent and slides him out of the ring and onto the floor. Bringing Rivers to his feet, he stands on his right foot as he keeps the pressure off his other leg. Confidently paint brushing Rivers over the back of the head, the challenger leans against the ring skirt resting for a bit. Kicks to the midsection weakens Rivers as Seaman holds him up by an arm. Seaman then executes a whip attempt into the wall of the glass cell, but Rivers remarkably reverses it and sends Seaman slamming into glass. Rivers drops to a knee as Seaman bounces off the glass, staggers around for a moment and falls face first on the floor.
GP: Where did Rivers find the strength to do that?
JT: That was just terrible. What luck for Seaman. Are you okay, champ?
Dying to get up, Rivers limps over to the fallen champion and puts in a few boots for good measure. Now vulnerable to an attack, Rivers picks up Seaman from the floor, stares for approval from the crowd and starts slamming Seaman face first several times into the wall of the cell for a count of ten. The crowd chants along with him as each time Seaman's head bounces off the glass, an increasing lifeless expression shows on his face. On the tenth one, Seaman slides his face off the glass as he returns to lay on the floor, like a bug hitting a windshield.
GP: Rivers is back in this thing. One after the other, Seaman is reeling.
JT: Why oh why did you make this match, Seaman? Rivers doesn't deserve this!
Attempting to work the kinks out of his knee, he repeatedly attacks Seaman in the back with a few forearms before setting him up for some sort of powerbomb maneuver. As Seaman desperately tries to escape, it's too late as Rivers powerbombs him back first into the ring post. Screaming in incredible agony, the crowd gasps in reaction to the innovative move.
GP: Simon's spine must be broken in two!
JT: Why is Rivers doing this? Seaman is going to end up in a wheelchair at the tender age of twenty-six! I don't know how Seaman is going to blend in with the people at the old folks home. He can play a mean game of shuffleboard, but this is just too much!
Going for a pin attempt right there and then, LLB exits the ring and drops down to make the count. His hand slams against the mat once as the audience counts along with him, then twice, but just before three, Seaman kicks out, securing his reign as world champion for the time being. Rivers wastes no time and proceeds to throw Seaman into the wall of the cell as he hits it hard, noticing he can now walk on his left leg again. Tottering back and forth on two feet, Rivers brings Seaman to the opposite wall and bounces him off the other one. Turning around obviously out of it, Rivers places the champ between his legs for a piledriver attempt. Seaman blocks the first attempt and the second attempt holding onto Rivers lower body. When a third attempt is made, Seaman pushes Rivers away and as Rivers walks back over to him, Seaman turns to LLB and pulls him by the collar. With the special guest referee distracted by him, Seaman low blows Rivers with a mule kick as the challenger doubles over. Letting go of the ref, Seaman pulls Rivers over to the corner, sets him up and flings him back first with a nothern lights release suplex into the wall of the glass cell. Luckily, Rivers ends up landing on his back as he crashes to the floor instead of his head.
GP: Now Seaman is back in this thing! These two are unbelievable.
JT: When you have a rivalry this intense between two men and they've been against each other several times, they're going to know each other's weaknesses and strengths. It's inevitable. At the biggest Pay-Per-View of the year, they are as sure as hell going to pull out all the stops.
Sitting on the arena floor, staring behind him seeing Rivers looking up at the ceiling of the cell. Adjusting his elbow and knee pads, Seaman crawls over to the ring skirt and scrimmages under there.
GP: What is he looking for under there?
JT: I guess an escape route out of here, but I'm probably wrong.
The crowd talks up a storm as Seaman pulls out a steel chair from under the ring. LLB checks on Rivers to see if he can continue the match. With the camera in the champ's way, Seaman shoves the cameraman away from him, using the chair to pull himself up. Unfolding the chair up, he sets it up on the floor on the opposite side before walking over to Rivers again. Telling LLB to move out of the way, Seaman tries to pull Rivers back up, but the challenger prevents it and kicks Seaman in the face with both of his boots. Seaman leans against the glass wall as Rivers returns to a standing position. With a kick to the midsection, Rivers whips Seaman into the glass wall, but Seaman jumps onto the chair and leaps off, landing on Rivers for a cover.
GP: Moonsault press off the chair!
JT: Unbelievable! Rivers is hurt, Seaman is hurt, yet they're still trying to outdo each other.
GP: I wouldn't really say that they're trying to outdo each other. They're just trying to secure a victory.
LLB slams his hand against the floor once, then twice, but Rivers gets his shoulder up at the last second as Seaman kneels there in shock.
GP: Rivers will just not quit. He will not give up.
In frustration, Seaman takes a breather after kneeing Rivers in the lower back a few more times and sending him back under the bottom rope and into the ring. Awaiting Rivers' return to a standing position, Seaman stands on the ring apron. Struggling to his knees, Seaman sees this and motions for him to get up. Finally, Seaman executes a beautiful springboard back elbow as Rivers stands and is then taken back down again. Taking a moment to rest, Seaman pulls himself along the canvas and hooks the leg for another pin attempt. LLB slides into the ring to cunt. Saman gets a one, a two, but Rivers gets a shoulder up as Seaman slams his hands against the mat absolutely baffled.
GP: Seaman looks to be all out of ideas here. The more punishment Seaman inflicts on Rivers, the stronger his opponent gets.
To further weaken his fellow competitor, Seaman wrenches in an armbar submission as LLB examines Rivers on the mat. Showing no signs of quit, Rivers tries to make it to the ropes. Reaching for the bottom rope, Seaman
applies more pressure as Rivers grunts in pain. Eventually, Rivers makes it to the ropes as Seaman is forced to break the hold. Pulling himself up with assistance from the ropes, Seaman anticipates Rivers' return to a standing position. Leaning on the ropes, Seaman whips Rivers into the opposite set and then hooks his opponent on his way back for a fisherman's DDT, but Rivers escapes and as Seaman turns around, Rivers hooks Seaman and connects with a Floridan Face Buster that makes the crowd go wild.
GP: Floridan Face Buster by Matt Rivers! Out of the blue and Seaman is down and out!
JT: How the hell did that happen?
Rivers and Seaman lay there in the middle of the ring motionless. LLB examines both men and then starts a mandatory ten count.
GP: Both men are spent, both men are giving it their all and yet, no one has the upper hand.
JT: If Rivers wants it that bad, he'll turn Seaman over and go for the cover.
LLB reaches a count of eight before both men show signs of movement. Rivers is the first man up and as Seaman lays there on his back, the challenger drapes an arm over the champ. The audience counts along with LLB, but Rivers only gets two as Seaman gets his shoulder up.
GP: The fight in both these men are positively tremendous. We could be here for a while.
JT: You mean, I might have to spend New Year's Eve sitting beside you?
JT: Can I get a taxi by any chance? Do they stop by here? I need one.
Rivers helps Seaman up as the champ's body dangles and sways back and forth. As both men are spent, Rivers uses most of his remaining strength to whip Seaman into the ropes. Seaman attempts to come back with a body press, but Rivers grabs him in the air and lets him drop down to the canvas. Flashbulbs throughout the arena go everywhere as Rivers puts him in a sharpshooter in the center of the squared circle.
GP: Sharpshooter! He's got it in there.
Seaman scrambles to find the ropes as Rivers leans back into the submission hold. He screams in agony as LLB asks him if he wants to quit. Seaman shakes his head and reaches for LLB, but he backs away as Seaman panics.
JT: No, not like this! Not now!
Reaching for the ropes, Seaman squirms along the mat and finally hooks the bottom rope with hs left arm. The crowd boos as Rivers is told to break the hold. Rolling out of the ring and onto the floor, Rivers goes after his opponent.
JT: Close call on that one. Seaman almost failed to escape.
GP: You have to imagine the pressure that is on the champ tonight, actually both men. Rivers is the one guy that has a shot at dethroning Simon Seaman and Seaman is under pressure to lay claim to what he has said before. That no one can stop him.
Shoving the steel steps, Seaman makes way for himself to return to his feet. Rivers jumps off the apron and comes down with a double axe handle that hinders the champ's plans. The crowd erupts in cheers as Rivers signals for Dazed and Confused as Seaman is on both knees. Hooking Seaman up for the move, Seaman resists. During the second attempt, Seaman elbows Rivers and escapes it and as Rivers walks over to Seaman, Seaman hooks him up for a fisherman's DDT and sets him down on the arena floor with a Michinoku Driver.
JT: That was it! Vice Versa! Seaman with Vice Versa!
GP: All he has to do is pin him. Why isn't he pinning him?
Right away, he stares down at Rivers then walks over to the opposite side and folds the steel chair. Without warning Seaman holds the chair over his head and hits Rivers in the back with it. Screaming in pain, Seaman does it again. A third time, he uses the edge of the chair and drives it into Rivers kidneys. Throwing the chair aside, he sluggishly goes to the ring skirt and looks for something. The audience at ringside gasp as Seaman takes out an aluminum bat and shows it to the crowd.
JT: My god! That doesn't belong in here. That belongs in men and women's softball for goodness sake. Are we in the wrong stadium?
GP: Of course not. You see a lot of things taken from a wrestling ring, but a bat surely isn't one of them.
JT: You're telling me Seaman placed it there on purpose?
GP: Good work, Sherlock.
LLB warns Seaman not to use, but Seaman doesn't obey and points to the glass door of the cell. Threatening LLB with the bat, LLB gives him one last warning. Switching his attention to the door, Seaman starts striking the bat with it attempting to open it.
GP: Seaman can't do this. He has no right.
JT: If you feel so strongly against it, why don't you go up to him and tell him what you think?
GP: I would, but I'd rather not die today.
JT: Come on Parker, this is IWO. If you die today, I promise you'll be back Friday like nothing happens.
GP: You think if I died, they'd reward me if I ever came back...
Focusing on the lock, Seaman starts striking it over and over again with the bat. The camera catches several dents and scratches in the glass from the repeated strikes. Holding it high over his head, Seaman strikes the lock. Another one dents the lock and finally a third strike breaks the lock off the cell door. LLB tends to Rivers as he has no power over the champion for now. Kicking the door open, the glass door is undone from it's hinges and falls into the aisle. The crowd at ringside gets rowdy as Seaman drops the bat to the floor and drags Rivers into the doorway. The crowd wonders what Seaman is up to as he struggles to hold the door up.
GP: He's not going to do what I think he's going to do.
JT: What you think he's going to do is what he's going to do. What he's going to do is not something that the little kiddies should watch either. Plus, if you make glass for living, you should be pretty mad too.
Seaman turns around and charges Rivers on all fours in the doorway. Wishing to sandwich Rivers' head between the door and the doorway, Rivers escapes just in time as Seaman strikes the cell and hurts both his hands. Suddenly, a furious expression on Rivers' face is seen as he tries to grab Simon's boot. Noticing this, Seaman panics and tries to scale the cell using the gaps through the panels to grab a hold of and climb onto. Standing up Rivers goes after him as Seaman is about halfway up the cell wall. The crowd gets riled up awaiting something big, but is denied as Rivers slams Seaman's head into the cell. Seaman slips and he holds onto the cell by one hand. Rivers drops down from the cell onto the arena floor and pulls Seaman down. As both men crawl over to each other, they help each other up and exchange right hands, Seaman pulls back and tries to get in a huge punch, but Rivers ducks and clotheslines Seaman down to the floor. Turning Seaman around with Rivers' back to the cell, Rivers takes a look around and then hooks both of Seaman's legs. With a slight delay, Rivers slingshots Seaman face first into the side of the cell as the fans cheer loudly. Collapsing to the ground, the camera catches Seaman with a cut over his right eyebrow as blood slowly trickles down his face.
GP: Seaman has been cut open. What a slingshot that was.
JT: Seaman is down, but if I know him well enough, he's got a second wind in him. A third, a fourth, a fifth, and a sixth possibly.
Seaman crawls back into the cell as Rivers follows him. LLB doesn't bother to secure the door since the door has been destroyed. Looking on, Rivers throws Seaman back into the ring, pulls himself onto the ring apron and
waits for Seaman to return to his feet. Feeling the cut on his forehead, he slowly stands up, staggering around. At last, as he turns around, Rivers quickly climbs the turnbuckles and leaps off as the fans at ringside go crazy.
GP: Rivers hit the Silencer! Silencer on Simon Seaman!
JT: Oh no. The Silencer has become the Silencee. Kick out of it, champ! Don't lose to your own move!
LLB returns to the ring and starts to count. His hand goes down once as Seaman shows no signs of movement. The crowd awaits LLB as for the second time, he slams his hand against the mat. About to count to three,
Seaman miraculously gets his foot on the bottom rope as the crowd stands there and Matt Rivers looks at LLB in disbelief.
JT: YES! YES! Seaman is the man!
GP: One second away. Ladies and gentleman, we were one second away, one second away from crowning a new IWO World Heavyweight Champion. How does Seaman do it?
JT: Superman has arrived and his name is Simon Seaman.
Immediately following the pin attempt, Rivers walks to the corner and scales the turnbuckles as Seaman gradually pulls himself up by the ring ropes. Almost on his feet, he trips and falls down, but the middle rope luckily catches his fall. Tottering back and forth like a drunk man, Rivers perches himself on the top turnbuckle and waits for the champion to turn around. As Seaman notices Rivers, the challenger leaps off the turnbuckle, but Seaman sidesteps and Rivers lands on his back. Hastily picking Rivers up by the hair, he whips him into the ropes and tries to send him down to the mat with a hip toss, but Rivers shows great athleticism and lands on his feet, Rivers tries to clothesline Seaman to the ground but Seaman ducks, turns Rivers around, hooks him up and drops him down with Dazed and Confused.
JT: Seaman with Dazed and Confused! A taste of Rivers' own medicine. This is great. This is excellent. Justice will be served!
Taking his time to recover, Seaman lays down next to Rivers as LLB starts another ten count. At about five, Rivers is still motionless in the ring. At the count of the nine, Seaman gets enough strength to drape his arm over Rivers. LLB drops down to make the count. Seaman gets one, gets two, but Rivers amazingly kicks out a millisecond before three, which gets Seaman worked up and the crowd in a frenzy.
GP: Rivers kicked out! Rivers kicked out!
JT: How could that happen?!
Staring at LLB in skepticism, Seaman looks down at a fallen Matt Rivers and then starts mouthing off to LLB. He tells him that he's counting too slow and LLB shakes his head in disagreement. As they look at each other face to face, the crowd gets louder and louder.
GP: Something is about to go down between Seaman and LLB.
JT: Well, LLB should've counted the one, two, three. He knew it too.
Warning him yet again, Seaman ignores it. LLB stares down at the mat and then shoves Seaman, which gets enormous cheers from the crowd.
GP: LLB just shoved the world champion!
JT: What kind of a referee is that? Can we get someone else down here.
Pointing to the blood running down his face, Seaman looks at LLB with anger. He then reciprocates and shoves LLB down to the mat as the entire audience boos him. Dropping down to cover Rivers again, Seaman doesn't notice LLB returning to his feet awaiting the champ's attention. Wondering where the ref went, Seaman continues to pin Rivers. Standing up, he walks over to the bottom rope and kicks it in frustration. Rivers slowly gets up, not noticing what is happening between Seaman and LLB. On his knees, Rivers looks around to find Seaman, but can't. Finally, Seaman turns around to find out why everyone in the crowd is cheering so loud and then sees a charging LLB running toward him. Sidestepping it, LLB accidentally gets the Erroneous Conclusion, spearing Rivers out of the ring and onto the floor, as the momentum makes him exit the ring as well.
JT: LLB missed! I can't believe it!
GP: That move knocked Rivers out cold. He's not even moving on the floor below. He obviously meant that for Seaman. My god what a move that was.
Looking at LLB and Matt Rivers on the floor, he punches the wall of the cell in frustration. Noticing the bat on his adjacent side, Seaman walks out of the ring and grabs it onto the floor. Walking over near the door, he starts weakening the glass with swing after swing. After several strikes, we notice large scratches and dents right next to the doorway where Seaman had been hitting the bat against. Laying the bat on the arena floor, he pulls Rivers up and stands him up right in front of the wall. With LLB slowly getting to his feet, Seaman looks at the crowd for approval. Then, from out of nowhere, Seaman hops onto the ring apron and jumps off the apron, executing a Silencer as both men fall plow through the wall, shattering a large part of it into hundreds of pieces. The crowd gasps in astonishment as both men lay there still.
GP: Oh my god! Silencer through the glass!
JT: There's glass everywhere. Both men are cut and the first person to pin the other should be the champion. There is no doubt in my mind that the Silencer right there is one for the highlight reel.
LLB returns to his feet and sees the carnage that has unfolded. Noticing both men down outside of the cell, he drops down to one knee and sees both men with a few cuts, but nothing more.
GP: I don't know how uplifting it will be to say this, but it doesn't look like any man has been cut badly. They look to be in shape. Not great shape, not even good shape, but they look to be okay.
JT: We need a janitor here pronto. It looks like an elephant trampled through here. Look at all this. My goodness!
LLB starts another ten count as both men are clearly out. Kicking glass away from both competitors, LLB counts up to three along with the crowd accompanying him. Up to six, Rivers shows signs of movement, but is unable to get up. At the count of eight, Seaman lifts his hand up. At the count of nine, the champion pulls himself along the aisle. Just before the count of ten, Seaman drapes his back on Rivers as LLB drops to both knees to make the count. With one slam of the hand down, we had a one count. Another one signalled two. As the crowd awaited Rivers to get out of the pin attempt, it was too late. LLB counted three, quickly went over to the timekeeper's table, stormed back over to both men and threw the world title belt beside Simon Seaman. Refusing to raise Seaman's hand in victory, LLB walks away in frustration as 'Relax' by Powerman 5000 is heard over the speakers.
Officials run down to help both men as in the background, the audience applauds both competitors.
Meygon: Your winner and STILL IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SIMON SEAMAN!
GP: What you have just seen. Everything you have seen tonight will surely not be forgotten.
JT: I might not be the greatest Matt Rivers fan, but hell, that was one hell of a fight.
GP: Both competitors gave it their all for a chance to be on top of the IWO. We saw anything and everything and boy is this one for the record books.
JT: Never in my life have I seen this much heart from two individuals. Don't dumb it down. It might have been violent, it might have been bloody, but that was one hell of a match.
GP: You take a look back at the past superstars that have graced the IWO. Ladies and gentleman, they were extraordinary, but you have to admit, what we have here is something special.
JT: They did not disappoint. They delivered a match with heart and by god, I'll never forget it.
With a glazed over look in both men's eyes, Seaman is given a title by one of the officials and is helped up by two other referees. Rivers is helped up as well as they kick the debris to the side.
GP: What a magical night this was. Ice Age IV is in the books and 2002 is just a day away.
JT: For my colleague, Greg Parker, I have been JT. You have been a wonderful audience. Happy holidays and have a happy New Year. We'll see you in 2002.
GP: I can't believe what I have just seen.
Seaman, in the hands of LLB, raises the championship high in the sky, inciting boos from the audience. Slowly, the scene fades out, to Seaman collapsing to his knees, only staying up due to LLB's arms.