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Autumn In Hell


September 30th, 2000
Live from the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio


World Title Match
They have been friends ever since they came to the IWO as Usual Suspects...
Now two things seperate each other...
Gold, and Women

Rob Kestler w/Evan Levine & Cassie -c- vs. Psycho Jay w/Chris Davidson & Vincent

North American Title Match
Three Way Dance
LiGiL -c- vs. Aaron Kain vs. Syphon Fussion

World Tag Team Championship Matchup
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(High Flyer & Tony Davis) -c- vs. The Spaz Event

Special Challenge Match
A Mystery Man Chosen By VP Evan vs. Trent McFarlane

Atlantic/IC Tag Team Title Match
If Arrows is pinned, the winner of the Fall wins the Atlantic Championship
If the Winds of Changed are pinned, the winner of the fall wins the I.C. tag team championship
Should McNally or one of the Devastators be pinned, nothing happens.

Winds of Change -c- & Lance McNally vs. the Devastators & Shawn Arrows -c-

Pacific Title Match
For the Vacant Championship
AWS Man(Also known as Bill) vs. Cyanide

Extreme Title Match
Cleveland Pawn Shop Match
Fenix -c- vs. Sam Potright

IML Grudge Match
Wesley Sanders vs. Former IML President Nick Kostos

Tag Team Matchup
Must win via Pinfall Prime Time Soldiers vs. Team Tampax vs. the Suicide Kings

United States Title Match
"Tha Enforcer" Mike Extreme -c- vs. A Special Challenge from Mike Marchese

Forced by President Ford
Should Daze win, he recieves a T.v. title shot
Should Riot Win, he recieves a North American Title Shot
Should Riot fail to win, Riot shall be fired from the IWO

Donnie Daze vs. Rob Riot

Television title Match
Forced to Wrestle by VP Evan's Orders
Whether they like it or not

Schitzo Tod -c- vs. vs. Andrew

Women's Title Match
Meygon -c- vs. Discord vs. Tara

Card Subject to Change
World Title Match
They have been friends ever since they came to the IWO as Usual Suspects...
Now two things seperate each other...
Gold, and Women
Rob Kestler w/Evan Levine & Cassie -c- vs. Psycho Jay w/Chris Davidson & Vincent

North American Title Match(Tod)
Three Way Dance
LiGiL -c- vs. Aaron Kain vs. Syphon Fussion

World Tag Team Championship Matchup(Needs to be Judged)
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(High Flyer & Tony Davis) -c- vs. The Spaz Event

Special Challenge Match(Jay)
A Mystery Man Chosen By VP Evan vs. Trent McFarlane

Atlantic/IC Tag Team Title Match(Needs to be Judged)
If Arrows is pinned, the winner of the Fall wins the Atlantic Championship
If the Winds of Changed are pinned, the winner of the fall wins the I.C. tag team
championship
Should McNally or one of the Devastators be pinned, nothing happens.
Winds of Change -c- & Lance McNally vs. the Devastators & Shawn Arrows -c-

Pacific Title Match(Phyre)
For the Vacant Championship
AWS Man(Also known as Bill) vs. Cyanide

Extreme Title Match
Cleveland Pawn Shop Matchup
Fenix -c- vs. Lunatic Pandora aka Sam Potright

IML Grudge Match(Scott Stone)
Wesley Sanders vs. Former IML President Nick Kostos

Tag Team Matchup(Needs to be Judged)
Must win via Pinfall
Prime Time Soldiers vs. Team Tampax vs. the Suicide Kings

United States Title Match(Done)
"Tha Enforcer" Mike Extreme -c- vs. A Special Challenge from Mike Marchese

Forced by Commish Ford(Needs to be Judged)
Should Daze win, he recieves a T.v. title shot
Should Daniel Win, he recieves a North American Title Shot
Should Daniel fail to win, Daniel shall be fired from the IWO
Donnie Daze vs. Rob Daniel

Television title Match(Needs to be Judged)
Forced to Wrestle by VP Evan's Orders
Schitzo Tod -c- vs. vs. Andrew

Women's Title Match(Tod)
Meygon -c- vs. Discord vs. Tara
==================
(The IWO logo fades into the screen, as a heartbeat is heard. Once more we see the logo fade in, and fade back out... as in the final time, we see it fade in, and stay on the screen. A loud crash of lightning is shown hitting the IWO logo, causing it to burst into flames...

"Awake and Dreaming" by Finger Eleven is heard playing softly in the background, as we see crowded school hallway. We see a young man, most likely confused, running rampant around the school looking for someone or something. Women surround the young man, as he goes into a state of panic. Another young man walks up beside him, as they begin to talk, until one women splits the two friends up... Slowly that fades out to a picture of the IWO World Heavyweight Championship, split screening Rob Kestler and Psycho Jay. Cassie is also shown in the middle, holding the belt up as if she was a referee. Kestler and Jay crack down the middle like glass, as all that's left is Cassie. The camera fades from that picture straight inside the Gund Arena. Fans are yelling and cheering like crazy, holding up signs of support and everything else wanted, as the camera fades into the announcer booth with Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.)

GP: WELCOME TO AUTUMN IN HELL 2000!

JT: DEAR GOD IS THIS LOUD...

Nikki: Why are we yelling? We DO have microphones...

GP: BUT THIS OVATION IS HUGE!

JT: PEOPLE LOVE SHINY EXPLODING THINGS NIKKI!

Nikki: OH GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT...

GP: ESPECIALLY LONG WITH PSYCHO JAY! JAY GOES ONE ON ONE WITH HIS FORMER BEST FRIEND ROB KESTLER FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!

JT: THREE WAY DANCE FOR THE NA TITLE! CENTRAL POWERS MEMBERS SQUARE OFF, AND IT ISN'T FAIR!!!

Nikki: TAG TEAM TITLES ON THE LINE! TEAM V.I.A.G.R.A. AND THE SPAZ EVENT!

GP: I ALREADY KNOW THIS NIGHT IS GOING TO BE HUGE!

JT:That's it... I'm not going to yell anymore.

GP:WHAT WAS THAT JT! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE ROAR OF THE GUND ARENA HERE IN CLEVELAND OHIO FOR AUTUMN IN HELL!!!

JT:.... shut up.

Nikki:THIS CARD HAS BEEN MOVED BACK FOR THE THIRD TIME. I GUESS THREE TIMES IS DEFINITLY A CHARM, AS WE BRING YOU ACTION LIKE ONLY THE IWO CAN.(Crowd noise dies down) THIS, is Autumn In Hell!

GP:This night is going to be jammed pack with action!

JT:And I would like to wish everyone a happy Rosh Hashanah...

GP:JT, I didn't think you knew it was the Jewish New Year...

Nikki:Oh, he's just sucking up to Jamie. If only you all could realize this.

JT:Shut up wh....

*Nikki goes to slap him, but JT stops her*

JT:I want some whole wheat bread. Can't I get some whole wheat bread over here?

Nikki:Urgh.

GP:JT, I know you've been waiting for this all week... as the first match of the evening will be Meygon defending her Womens' title against Discord and Tara!

JT:Maybe we'll get to see what Evan used to have, and what Evan NOW has! Oh boy this match is going to be monumental!

Women's Title Match
Meygon -c- vs. Discord vs. Tara

GP: Well fans, this is the first match of spectacular event here tonight.

JT: Yeah, and hopefully there will be PUPPIES!

Nikki: JT, calm down. Just because this is a woman's match doesn't mean there will be any nudity.

JT: Sure Nikki, sure...

Nikki: Look JT, this is an important match! In fact, I should be in that ring!

JT: Good point, I'd love see your puppies...

*slap*

JT: OWIE! Nikki, stop slapping me. It should be a complement to you that I want to see your boobs.

Nikki: JT...

GP: Heh, well if you two would stop bickering, we should probably get to the match.

JT: Yes, I can't wait to see the Puppies!

{'I am Your Boogie Man' by White Zombie starts to play as the crowd starts to boo,}

JT: Yes! Here they come!

{Discord, accompanied by Evan Levine, makes her way into the ring.}

JT: Ya know, if Evan and Discord weren't together... Oh the things she and I would do...

Nikki: I don't get men...

{Nsynk's "Bye Bye Bye" starts to play as Tara runs into the ring.}

GP: Well, the match has't started yet. But Tara and Discord are already starting to battle.

JT: This gets me so hot.

Nikki: It would...

GP: We need to get Meygon out here so this match can start!

{The scene cuts to Meygon talking to Schitzo Tod.}

Schitzo Tod: Thanks for giving me head but I bet Nikki would be a lot better at it then you.

Meygon: What! I'm the woman's champ!

Schitzo Tod: Sorry, but that wasn't the best I've had.

Meygon: Well, lets try again. I can do better!

Schitzo Tod: Well, okay... But just this once...

{The scene cuts back tot he ring,}

JT: Wow! Did you see that!

Nikki: Ha! There's proof that I am a lot better at things then Meygon!

JT: Doesn't prove a thing to me, Nikki. Why don't we give it a little test..

*slap*

JT: OWIE!

GP: You deserved that one JT...OH MY! TARA IS TRYING TO UNCLOTHE DISCORD, BUT EVAN LEVINE JUST SMACKED TARA!

Nikki: Anything goes until Meygon gets down here...

JT: Oh yeah!

GP: Your loving this, aren't you..

JT: Of course!

Nikki: The two are outside of the ring, and they are heading backstage!

JT: Oh yeah!

GP: Evan Levine is looking on sadistically as Discord beats the crap out of Tara!

{The scene cuts to the back again, where Meygon is pleading with Tod about another chance.}

Meygon: I'm really sorry that I bit! I swear! It was an accident!

Schitzo Tod: Sorry, I have much better things to do then sit here and receive head.

Meygon: Like?

Schitzo Tod: Kicking Andy Dick's ass!

{Suddenly Tara and Discord burst into the room.}

Meygon: Hey, can't you see I'm a little busy here?

GP: OH MY! Meygon is pissed!

Nikki: I can't stand this! GET BACK INTO THE RING!

JT: OH yeah! This is hot!

{Nikki gets out of her chair and runs off.}

GP: Where is she going?

JT: Like I care?

GP: OH! Meygon with a dropkick to Tara!

JT: YES! Show me some leg!

GP: JT, I've just been informed over the com system that is match has been reverted to an Extreme match. Falls count anywhere!

JT: Discord just pinned Tara! Tara is wiggling around! This is like a hot lesbian porno!

GP: Meygon, with several rights to Dsicord.

Meygon: HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY SEX SESSION!

Discord: But-

Meygon: Do you wanna die botch?

GP: OH! DDT BY MEGON! SHE GETS THE PIN! 1! 2! 3! MEYGON WINS!

JT: OH mamma!

GP: Wait a second! Nikik from behind with a steal chair to Meygon!

Nikki: That title will be mine!

JT: AHH! Nikki is stripping herself down to her bra and panties! She's wearing black underwear! She wants me!

GP: Fans, we'll be back with the TV title match right after a short break! Keep watching, Autumn in Hell!

JT:I think I can successfully say that I can go home now...

(JT goes up to leave, but Greg pulls him back down into his seat.)

GP:JT, no. You have a job to do, and I'll be damned if I'm the one stuck out here by myself...

Forced by Commish Ford
Should Daze win, he recieves a T.v. title shot
Should Daniel Win, he recieves a North American Title Shot
Should Daniel fail to win, Daniel shall be fired from the IWO
Donnie Daze vs. Rob Daniel

(Nikki walks down to the ring and climbs back into her announcers chair. She is fully clothed.)

JT:Oh my god Nikki, you have a beautiful body... the only thing that's missing is Me inside you...

*Smack*

GP: Fans, this next match should be an interesting one, as we've got Donnie Daze, and Rob Daniel, as each mine fights for a title shot here. But I think Daniel is going to come out the victor here, as he has more to fight for,
seeing as how, if he loses here tonight, he will be handed his pink slip, and be shown the door!

Nikki: And fans, we're being joined here tonight by Commish Tom, who's made his way over to the broadcast table, and has put on a headset!

Tom: I just thought I'd come down here and watch Daniel as he has his last match in the IWO. He wants to act like he's all bad, and show no respect, going against what we say, well, tonight, I'm going to show him the door!

JT: If Daniel goes, this company is going to go down the drain. He is one of the top talents here, and it would be a shame to see him go!!

Tom: Just shut up and lets get this match started.

Meygon: Coming to the ring first, fighting tonight, for a shot at the Internet Wrestling Organization's Television Title. He weighs in tonight, at a lean 225 pounds, and he stands six foot three.

['Born of a Broken Man' by Rage Against the Machine begins to play throughout the arena speakers.]

Meygon: This man is a former IML World Champion, he is..Donnie Daze!!

[Donnie Daze slowly makes his way out from behind the curtains, as he gets a mixed reaction from the fans. He walks down to the ring, shaking the hands of the fans who have their hands extended, and slides into the ring as
he gets to it. He walks over to a corner, and leans back against the ropes, beginning to stretch as he awaits his opponent.]

GP: Donnie Daze, former IML Worlds Champion, looks to be in top shape, as he makes his IWO pay per view debut here tonight against Rob Daniel. But does Daze have what it takes to get the job done?

Tom: Of course he does, thats why I decided to make sure Daniel's career was on the line tonight.

Nikki: I'm going to have to agree on Tom with this one. He seems to have everything figured out in order to get rid of this bad apple called Rob Daniel.

Meygon: And now, making his way to the ring. Weighing in at 235 pounds, and standing 6'1.

["Still D.R.E."(The Instumental Version) by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg begins to blare through the arena, as the fans immediatly start to boo.]

Meygon: He is fighting tonight, for a shot at the North American Title, and to keep his job. He is Rob Daniel!

[Rob Daniel makes his way out from behind the curtains, and runs down to the ring, sliding in. Daniel gets to his feet, and gets decked in the head with a soda. Daniel turns to the fans to find out who threw the soda, and Daze
attacks him from behind with a forearm to the lower back.]

Tom: Haha, this is already working way to well. Although the fan needs to be sued for trying to physically injure someone on the IWO Roster, I must thank the person.

GP: Jeez. Daze has Daniel in a headlock, and Daniel pushes Daze off, sending him into the ropes. Daniel jumps over Daze, and drops down as Daze comes back. Daniel goes to drop down again, but as he hits the ground, Daze drops
down executing a dropkick to Daniel, sending him rolling out of the ring.

Nikki: That was a pretty smart move by Daze. He seems to have done his homework on Daniel, but, one lucky move doesn't always win the match.

JT: Thats right. It's going to take a lot more than a lucky drop kick to get Rob Daniel down for the three count!

Tom: Daniel sucks. Daze will get the three count, plain and simple. Daniel slowly getting to his feet, but theres Daze through the middle ropes with a suicide dive onto Rob Daniel! Donnie Daze rolls Rob Daniel in the ring, and climbs up on the apron. Daniel comes over to grab Daze, but Daze ducks under and gives Daniel a shoulder to the stomach.

GP: This is all Daze so far. Far from what I expected to see happening! Daze leeps over the top rope, and comes down with a leg drop across the back of Daniel's head, sending him down to the mat! Daze runs back to the
ropes, and goes for another of those dropkicks, but Daniel slides out of the way, and Daze slides back first, straight under the bottom rope, and down hard to the floor.

Nikki: The tide may be about to change, as Daniel finally got a good defensive move, and he seems to be about to unleash some offense as he climbs to the top rope. He leaps as Daze reaches his feet, Daniel flipping for a
moosault, and he nails Daze. Daniel rolls Daze in the ring, and comes up on the apron. Daze runs and jumps to the middle rope, backflipping, kicking Daniel in the face, sending him back down to the floor, as Daze lands on his upper
back, but kips right back up to his feet and goes to the top rope.

Tom: Come on Daze, you can do it, get rid of this egomaniac! Daniel gets to his feet, and Daze leaps for a double axe handle. Daniel leaps, and dropkicks straight into the air, dropkicking Daze in the face, and both men come
crashing down to the mat!

JT: Daniel, slowly getting to his feet, and he climbs in the ring, as the count has reached five. 6....Daze is getting up..7...Daze almost up!....8.....9...Daze got in the ring at the last second there!

Nikki: And theres Rob Daniel with a clothesline, sending Daze back to the apron. Daze grabs Daniel, and pulls him out to the apron as well, and then kicks Daniel's legs, sending him off the apron, crashing down to the
floor. Daze climbs in the ring, and Daniel gets right back onto the ring apron. Daze runs, and jumps over the top rope, grabbing Daniel with his legs on the way down, and executes an amazing Frankensteiner type move to Daniel!

Tom: Vixen, finally making her way down to ringside, looks a bit roughed up. I wonder what she was doing backstage.

GP: While Tom was checking out Vixen, Daniel and Daze both made their way into the ring, and Daniel nailed a DDT on Daze, and went out of the ring. Vixen has the referee distracted in the corner, and Daniel has a chair! Daniel
swings, but Daze ducks behind Daniel, and locks on the Katihajime!

Nikki: Daze has Daniel down in the middle of the ring, and the referee is still tied up with Vixen! Vixen finally gets down as Daniel reaches the ropes, and the referee makes Daze dreak the hold. Daze shoves the referee,
and turns around, getting cracked in the head with the steel chair, and sent down to the mat.

Tom: No, this isn't right! Whats going on here? Daniel slides the chair out of the ring, and locks on the British Deathlock!! Daze is at the ropes, and the referee is getting up, but Vixen is back up on the apron, and she
seems to be taking off her top! What the hells going on here? Well..she's got the refs attention!

GP: Who the hell? Thats Samantha Arrows! She just grabbed Vixen, and pulled her off the ring apron, making this match fair, and the referee is making Daniel let go of the hold! Samantha is trying to drag Vixen to
the back!

Tom: I don't know what she's doing out here, but I may need to thank her later. Daniel is pulling Daze up, and he swings him to the ropes, locking him in a sleeper! Daze looks like he's mumbling something to Daniel.

Nikki: What the hell is going on? Daze with a few elbows, breaks free, and lowblows Daniel, sending him down. Donnie slides out of the ring, and goes over to the time keeper..

GP: What the hell is he doing? Get back in the ring and finish the match.

Daze:Lightly heard due to distance: Oh shit!

Tom: What..the hell. Daze is running out of the ring side arena, and the fans are throwing eggs at him.

GP:He's probably going for his IML World Title Match later in the evening in California!

Commish Tom: Wait..whats that? Daze just got tripped by a...remote controlled car?!? And the fans are egging him while he can't move, thanks to that car!

GP: Well, it appears this crowd doesn't like deadbeats!

Nikki: Oh lord. Daze up to his feet, and running through the curtains to the backstage area, we're following him..and..what..the hell?

Tom: Thats....an eskimo?!?

JT: Now I have truely seen everything! Fans, it appears as if, an eskimo has decided to chase Donnie Daze. Evidentally it's his number one fan, hell, probably his only fan.

[Daze runs through the back, keeping a safe distance from the eskimo, until he runs into Shawn Arrows.]

Arrows: Donnie. Looks like I got you man. You better run fast as you can, cause that eskimo's getting close to catching you. Oh, and by the way, next time you fail to get the job done...they'll be even more hell to pay man.

[Donnie begins to run past Arrows, but as he does, Arrows kicks him in the ass, sending him tumbling into the side of a bunch of cardboard boxes, as we cut back to ringside.]

Tom: Well, I've got to go. Time to think of another way to try and get Rob Daniel out of this federation before he ruins it!

GP: Good luck. Shawn Arrows, has Donnie Daze on the run! And we've got more action coming your way!

Television Title Match
Schitzo Tod -c- vs. Andrew

GP:We've got another match for you, pitting two friends against one another...

Nikki: Well, uh, isn't this the TV title match?

JT: Yup.

GP: Yeah. Schitzo Tod, who came out of nowhere in a very chaotic TV title match on Hostile Takeover, is defending the title against the guy he beat the title for, Andrew.

Nikki: Well, let's go to the ring...

("Hate Me Now" by Nas plays as Andrew comes to the ring to a mixed reaction. He has the fake Pen in his left hand.)

GP: What's he doing with Pen?

JT: That's not Pen!

GP: Oh.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the IWO Television Title! First, accompanied by SUPERBALLS*big pop*... from wherever in God's name he's from, weighing in at whatever in God's name he weighs, he is the former IWO TV Champion, ANDREW!

JT: Hooray.

(Andrew slides into the ring, as his music dies out.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent...

("Date Rape" by Sublime starts playing and Schitzo Tod comes out to a pretty decent pop. He carries the REAL Pen with him. Pen, itself, gets a big pop.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent! From Long Beach, California... weighing in at... uh... a couple of pounds... he is the IWO Television Champion... SCHITZO TOD!

GP: Say, aren't these guys friends?

JT: Yeah.

(Schitzo Tod rolls into the ring, and the bell sounds.)

*ding, ding, ding*

Nikki: Uh, they're circling each other around the ring, but they still have their kitchen-related friends with them.

GP: Is the referee going to allow that?

JT: I bet he would. Referees are blind.

GP: And the fight is on, because Andrew just bitchslapped Tod with his fake Pen!

Nikki: Tod and the real Pen retaliate with their own Pen bitchslap!

GP: Tod follows up with a left hand, now. And he whips Andrew in... OH!

JT: Tod just bitchslapped Andrew on the way back in with Pen! Now Tod with a dropkick to Andrew's knee!

Nikki: Tod kips up and dropkicks Andrew in the face! Nice move!

(And then... THE LIGHTS GO OUT. And a bell dongs. The fans pop.)

JT: What the fuck!?

(The lights come on and Thomas Welsk is standing between Tod and Andrew, a microphone in his hand.)

Thomas Welsk: Lucy, I'm home!

(Five PTC guys suddenly decend from the rafters into the ring, and they beat the holy shit out of Andrew and Tod.)

GP: My God! Tod and Andrew are getting the shit beat out of them by the PTC! The referee isn't doing anything, because that fifth PTC member just nailed him in the head!

JT: Now the PTC members have taken Andrew and Tod captive!

Nikki: Isn't there a PTC HQ here in Cleveland?

GP: You're right! There is! I forgot how evil this city is!

(After Tod and Andrew are placed in two white vans marked with a red warning sign, a crazy trumpet fanfare plays in the arena, then "Hail to the Chief" plays as Commish Tom comes out to a decent pop.)

Commish Tom: Hello, Cleveland! ...anyway, since there was no decision rendered, I would've just cancelled the match and moved on...

(The fans boo, they wanted to see some ass-kickings galore, and no screwjobs.)

Commish Tom: ...BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT!

(The fans cheer.)

Commish Tom: As we speak, some cameramen are moving toward the PTC HQ. The rules have changed in this match, because we're going to have a Cleveland Stuffed Sheep Fight!

(The fans pop, even though they don't know what the hell one of those
is.)

Commish Tom: The rules are simple. We're going to hang this here stuffed sheep a couple of feet off the ground of the ring, and the TV title is inside that sheep. First one to get the sheep wins. Oh, but Andrew and Tod... obviously... have to fight their way back here. But that's no problem! ...anyway, I've got to go explain the fundamental laws of a nuclear bomb up VP Evan's ass to Will, now, so if you'll excuse me...

("Hail to the Chief" plays some more as ring technicians hang the stuffed sheep over the ring, and place some ladders around the ring.)

GP: My God! What an announcement by Commish Tom!

JT: Yeah, but what are we going to do about the fans? They're getting restless!

GP: Well, I could show my footage of my interview with Vincent...

Nikki: Do it!

GP: Okay... roll that beautiful bean footage!

(And we get Greg's interview with Vincent.)

Vincent: FUCKING FUCK WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU FUCKING WANT FUCKING BITCHASS COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER GREG MOTHERFUCKING PARKER?

GP: Well, I wanted to ask how the Women's division was going...

Vincent: FUCKING SHIT, FUCKING WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING TALKING ABOUT BITCHASS COCKSUCKING GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING YOU FUCKING BASTARD!?

(Vincent whips out his enormous penis and... well, you know the rest. The scene goes back to Greg.)

JT: Ouch. Sucks to be you, Greg.

GP: Shut up.

(The camera suddenly appears in the PTC HQ, where Andrew and Schitzo Tod are chained to the walls and being forced to watch America's Funniest Home Videos reruns. Obviously, they're going insa- ...going MORE insane
than they were.)

Andrew: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Tod: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Welsk: Had enough, boys?

(Suddenly, Superballs breaks into the PTC HQ, and busts out Andrew and Tod. He suddenly realizes that Tod shouldn't have been saved, but it's too late, now.)

GP: My god! They're loose, but Andrew and Tod are beating up on various PTC members! Dropkick by Tod to one of them! Andrew hits a piledriver on another!

JT: If I got kidnapped by the PTC and THEY forced me to watch Bob Saget's lovechild, I'd be beating the shit out of them, too.

Nikki: Too bad you can't.

JT: Shut up.

GP: Wait! Welsk is getting chased by Andrew!

Nikki: Meanwhile, Tod is brawling with some more PTC members. Spinning heel kick to one of them! Another one attacks from behind, and tries a German suplex, but Tod flips out... TOMIKAZE!

JT: Impaler.

Nikki: Well, whatever. That PTC member just got his face planted!

GP: Hooray.

JT: Wait! That PTC member has a club and he just hit Tod with it! Tod's out!

Nikki: I'm taking it that Tod isn't getting to the arena any time soon...

PTC Member #1: Hey, what should we do with him?

PTC Member #2: Put him in...

(Dramatic pause and evil chords.)

PTC Member #2: ...THE EASILY ESCAPABLE DEATH TRAP OF COMPLETE STUPIDITY!

PTC Membmer #1: *gasp*

GP: *gasp*

JT: *gasp*

Nikki: *gasp*

(The PTC members drag Tod away.)

GP: Where's Andrew?

JT: Andrew's still chasing Welsk, and he's beating the shit out of any PTC member that he sees!

Nikki: Clothesline to one PTC member! Axe kick to another! Superkick to one more! Welsk climbs up a ladder to escape, but Andrew is up there and he catches the flaming homosexual with a low blow!

JT: Now Drew is climbing up the ladder with him... what's he doing?

GP: Oh no... no! Dear God, no!

Nikki: DREW-PLEX(Top rope fisherman's suplex)! DREW-PLEX OFF THE LADDER ON THOMAS WELSK! WELSK IS OUT COLD!

GP: So is Andrew, because they landed on concrete!

JT: Andrew stumbles to his feet and kicks another PTC member in the mid-section...

Nikki: Implant DDT!

GP: Now Andrew sees a big wooden door, but it's locked!

JT: What the hell is he doing with Welsk's body?

Nikki: He's picking it up... oh no! HE JUST SMASHED THE DOOR OPEN BY USING THOMAS WELSK'S HEAD AS A BATTERING RAM! The door is open!

(Andrew looks outside.)

Andrew: What the hell?

(Suddenly, a bunch of janitors come rushing in, they knock down Andrew on their way in. Andrew stumbles to his feet, confused.)

JT: What the hell? Who are they?

GP: Wait a second...

Nikki: Wait! I know! That's those guys the Winds of Change hang out with!

GP: Hey, you're right!

JT: And they're headed... somewhere!

(The camera follows the janitors as they run right into a room where Schitzo Tod has been left. He's hanging upside-down over a big-assed kettle of hot, boiling oil, made from Bret Hart's hair. The rope is attached to the wall, which is currently sitting over with a bunch of rats. The janitors KILLIFY the rats, then save Tod in a complex manner which involves a duck, a stapler, and a plastic toaster.)

Tod: Thanks!

Janitor Seven: Yeah, well, Joey said that any man that gets captured by the PTC and forced to watch America's Funniest Home Videos deserves our help.

GP: Now Tod runs off, toward where Andrew was, earlier! He sees Thomas Welsk's out cold body, and gives it a good kick!

JT: Well-deserved, I might add.

Nikki: What the hell? We're in a parking lot, and Andrew just took off, back toward the arena!

JT: Now Tod jumps in another car and drives off after Andrew!

GP: Wait, do we really have to follow this?

JT: Yeah, we do.

Nikki: Well, while we're waiting, let's take a look at the life and career of one of the greatest human beings ever in IWO history... DAN KORDIC!

(We get a short video package of Dan Kordic's career, which involves jobbing, getting killed, getting dug up, being a bone, winning a match, being a pinkie finger, and then eventually getting eaten by Peanut. Then we go back to the scene, which is at the arena.)

JT: Dare I ask what the point of that was?

Nikki: None, really.

GP: Well... Dan Kordic made a negative name for himself, so there you go.

JT: Well, we're in the parking lot, now, and Andrew skids in there, followed by Tod!

Nikki: Tod gets out and so does Andrew!

JT: There's some sort of big staredown going on and... wait! Tod just pulled out Pen! And Andrew pulls out his fake Pen! And they're holding them up?!

Nikki: Tod is motioning Andrew to come at him?!

GP: Andrew swings! But Tod blocks with his Pen! Tod swings, but Andrew blocks! Andrew with a sidekick to Tod to send him to the floor!

Nikki: Andrew jumps with a Pen stab, but Tod rolls out of the way and Andrew might have just jammed his Pen in the floor! Tod spins around a kicks Andrew in the back of the leg! Tod tries a stab of his own, but Andrew with a backwards roll and he lands on his feet! Andrew charges in...

GP: ...Tod ducks the clothesline! BITCHSLAP! TOD JUST BITCHSLAPPED ANDREW WITH PEN!

Tod: Wooooo!

JT: Tod is turning around and celebrating like he just won the IWO World Title!

GP: That is NOT SMART!

Nikki: ANDREW JUST WAYLAYED TOD WITH A BRUTAL FAKE PENSHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Tod is DOWN!

GP: Andrew must be PISSED about that bitchslap!

JT: Hell, if I just got bitchslapped by a god damn SPATULA, I'd be pissed off, too!

Nikki: Tod is stumbling to his feet, but Andrew takes him down with a bulldog RIGHT ON TO PEN! Tod might be hurt!

JT: Andrew has a sadistic smile on his face, as he climbs up to the top of that Ford Bronco!

Nikki: Hey, isn't that your rental car, JT?!

JT: No, I drive a different color Bronco.

Nikki: What color?

JT: THE COLOR OF LOVE, BABY!

(Nikki bitchslaps JT.)

JT: ...ow...

GP: Well, anyway, Andrew's on top of the Ford Bronco, as Tod is getting up on his feet... Andrew leaps off... BUT TOD CATCHES HIM IN THE STOMACH WITH A BRUTAL PENSHOT!

Nikki: Aaaahhhhh! Andrew just stumbled onto the roof of Michael Dudley'slimo!

JT: Tod climbs up there with Andrew, and sets him up... oh God! He sets him up for a piledriver!

GP: He tries, but Andrew's blocking... MY GOD! A BACKDROP RIGHT OFF THE HOOD OF THE CAR AND INTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

Nikki: These two started out perfectly normal, too! I mean, they were friends, but that Pen bitchslap that Andrew took seemed to have awakened something brutal within him, or something!

JT: Well said. Andrew hops down off of the limo, and brings Tod back up onto the limo... what's he going to do?

GP: Andrew climbs up there with Tod and he sets Tod up!?

Nikki: He's going to try the same move that Tod tried on him!

GP: No! Andrew picks him up for a powerbomb... wait, no! Tod's fighting it... HURRACANRANA INTO THE WINDSHIELD! TOD JUST TOOK OUT ANDREW AND MICHAEL DUDLEY NEEDS TO REPLACE HIS WINDSHIELD FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS MONTH!

JT: Aaaahhhh! Nooooooo! I thought Michael was going to murder whoever did that after Lance McNally broke his windshield in that Last Man Standing match!

Nikki: Dear God! Andrew's busted open, and Tod has a big gash in his left leg!

GP: Michael Dudley's gonna be pissed when he finds out what just happened.

JT: You damn right he is!

Nikki: Tod has stumbled out of the car, he's in pretty bad shape right now.

GP: Andrew is in worse shape! He's already at gushing out a crimson mask!

JT: Andrew wobbles his way back to his fake Pen, but Tod meets him there with a dropkick to his knee! And a kipup!

Nikki: C'mon, we saw this alr- WHOA!

GP: ANDREW JUST LOWBLOWED TOD WITH THE FAKE PEN AS TOD WAS GOING FOR THE FOLLOWUP FACE DROPKICK!

JT: Now Andrew stumbles back on to his feet...

Nikki: And he's heading out the door!

GP: But Tod is stumbling back on his feet, but he left Pen back in there! AWS Man (also known as Bill) rushes in and grabs Pen, and rushes out!

JT: Now the camera is following Tod and Andrew, and Tod jumped Andrew from behind, and knocks him to the floor!

Nikki: And now Tod picks Andrew up and slings him into the door of... THE BOILER ROOM!?

JT: My God! Not the boiler room!?! What if Mick Foley jumps out and...

(Suddenly, a big (hardened) magma monster jumps out of nowhere.)

Andrew: JESUS!

Tod: Moo.

(Andrew and Tod dive away as the lava monster drives his big foot into the floor.)

JT: What in the blue fuck is that?!

GP: It looks like a giant... ROCK monster!?

Nikki: No, it's a giant lava monster, and it's after Andrew and Schitzo Tod!

GP: Right hand to Andrew, Andrew goes FLYING across the room!

JT: Tod tries a dropkick, but he bounces off the lava monster like a ping-pong ball!

Nikki: The lava monster with a big foot to Tod's face, and he goes right into the wall!

GP: Tod might not have a face any more!

JT: Wait, what's the monster doing?

Nikki: He's crouching down...

Lava Monster: IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!

(Suddenly, the Lava Monster, who is seven feet tall, suddenly triples his height, and crashes through the arena's roof to a huge pop. The monster steps out of the arena and goes to terrorize Cleveland.)

JT: ...how are we supposed to pay for the DAMAGE?!

GP: C'mon, JT. It's Jamie Kosoy's federation. He's a multi-billionare. I WOULD EXPECT HIM TO EASILY PAY FOR THE DAMAGE CAUSED BY A LAVA MONSTER WHO IS CURRENTLY TERRORIZING CLEVELAND!!!

JT: ...okay...

Nikki: Yeah, well, Tod and Andrew have recovered from the attack, and they've resumed brawling!

JT: Yay.

GP: Andrew and Tod brawl out of the boiler room and into the locker room area!

Nikki: Elbow to the back of Tod's head by Andrew, now Andrew charges in, but Tod steps aside and rams Andrew's head right into a locker room!

GP: That's Former IML President Nick Kostos's room!

Nick Kostos: HEY! HEY, you stupid god damned mid-carding jobbers! Get out of my locker room before I beat the shit out of you! The sight of you both makes me want to vomit!

JT: Tod with a scoop slam on Andrew, now he's climbing up on Kostos's desk!

GP: Wait! Nick just shoved Tod right off of the desk! And Andrew gets his foot up to negate whatever Tod was going to do!

Nick Kostos: Don't even THINK about standing your jobbing piece of shit on my desk!

JT: Now Kostos throws out Tod, and Andrew!

Nick Kostos: And stay out, god dammit!

(Kostos slams the door shut.)

JT: Well, Tod and Andrew ignore Kostos and go back to work on each other! Right hand by Andrew! A right by Tod! Right by Andrew! Left by Tod! Left by Andrew! Ha! Tod just hit Andrew with BOTH fists!

GP: And that knocks Andrew down!

JT: Andrew is hurting, he's STILL bleeding, and he's trying to get back on his feet!

Nikki: Tod and Andrew tumble through the halls some more and they end up in Mike Marchese's room! He's still playing with those Rubic Cubes!

Mike Marchese: Skip, I'm beginning to think that every Rubic Cube known to man is defective.

JT: Andrew just took the Rubic Cube from Mike Marchese!

Mike Marchese: Hey! I wasn't through with that!

GP: Andrew just smashed the Rubic Cube in Andrew's face!

Marchese: Hey, now! That wasn't very nice of you!

Nikki: Thankfully, Tod and Andrew brawl away from Marchese before he can unleash his Barry Manillow Attack.

(The camera turns back to Marchese.)

Marchese: Damn. I guess they caught on from what I did to those other guys. Hey, Skip, where's another Rubic Cube?

(The camera goes and chases down Tod and Andrew.)

JT: Meanwhile, Tod and Andrew continue to brutalize each other all the way to the refreshment stand!

GP: Andrew kicks Tod in the stomach and pours some mustard on Tod's back!

Tod: Aaaahhhh! That shit is COLD!

Nikki: Tod with a kick to Andrew's groin!

JT: And naturally, Andrew doubles over in pain.

GP: Now Tod grabs Andrew and pours hot sauce on the floor!

Nikki: Sitdown facebuster on the hot sauce! Andrew's eyes must be BURNING!

GP: Hey, wait a second... do Tod and Andrew even know the new rules of the match?

JT: Probably not.

Nikki: Andrew is still blinded and he gets to his feet!

JT: Tod grabs Andrew from behind... spins around... TOMIKAZE!

GP: Tod goes for the pin!

Nikki: The referee, who has been following these guys ever since they came back to the arena, is informing him about the Cleveland Stuffed Sheep Fight!

GP: Tod stumbles back to his feet and grabs a hot dog! What's he going to do with it?

JT: He's... EATING it!

Nikki: Tod's heading toward the ringside area!

JT: That's a new concept, with this match!

GP: Andrew is up and he's blindly following Schitzo Tod to the arena!

JT: Andrew, I think, is regaining his vision, and he's caught Tod in the back near the entryway with a forearm shiver!

GP: Now Andrew smashes Tod's head into the side of the entry way.

(The crowd pops as Andrew and Schitzo Tod have made their way back into the arena.)

Nikki: Andrew and Tod are still brawling, and Tod whips Andrew into the safety rail!

GP: Now Tod throws Andrew halfway across the aisle!

JT: Andrew is crawling towards the ring, and he's in there! Tod's back in, too, though!

*ding, ding, ding*

Nikki: Was that a second bell?

JT: Yup! This match hadn't even restarted up until Tod and Andrew found their way back into the ring!

GP: Well, Andrew starts this match out busted open, Tod starts off with a bleeding leg, and there's a ladder in the ring.

Nikki: Yup.

GP: Neat.

JT: Andrew and Tod are still brawling, and Andrew easily forces the smaller Tod into the corner... right hands, right hands, and yes, more right hands to Tod! Now Andrew whips Tod in, but Tod leaps up on the top
turnbuckle... corkscrew moonsault!

GP: Nice move by Tod to take down Andrew.

Nikki: Yeah.

JT: Now Tod gets up, and sees the stuffed sheep some twenty-five feet up in the air!

GP: Tod rolls to the outside and grabs a nearby ladder!

JT: And he brings it i- oh!

Nikki: Andrew baseball slided the ladder right into Tod's face!

JT: Nice move by the former TV champion!

GP: Now Andrew pulls the ladder in and sets it up under the stuffed sheep, but wait! Look over there, on the turnbuckle!

JT: Schitzo Tod with a missle dropkick that takes Andrew right off the ladder!

GP: Nice move!

Nikki: Now Tod sets the ladder up in the corner, and he grabs Andrew's legs... and SLINGSHOTS HIM RIGHT INTO THE LADDER!

GP: Andrew bounces right off the ladder as Tod kips up... INVERTED DDT! Tod caught Andrew with a Inverted DDT as he came back from the ladder shot!

JT: Andrew is down, and now Tod sets the ladder up again... and he's climbing it!

Nikki: But he's nowhere near the stuffed sheep!

JT: That's because...

GP: ...SLINGSHOT LEGDROP OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND RIGHT DOWN ON TO ANDREW! MY GOD, WHAT A MOVE THAT WAS!

JT: Well. Tod needs to go ahead and finish this match, because it's taken a toll on him and he REALLY need to be at at least 70% going into the tag team threeway...

Nikki: I'd be surprised if Tod even MAKES it that far!

JT: Tod's hurt, Andrew's hurt. Hell, maybe the ladder's hurt, too!

GP: Tod slowly gets to his feet, I think he knows he has it won!

Nikki: He sets up the ladder and slowly starts to climb up, but Andrew rolls to the outside and grabs a chair!

GP: Now Andrew climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Tod is almost there!

JT: JESUS CHRIST! ANDREW CAME OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND THE CHAIRSHOT TO SCHITZO TOD JUST ECHOED THROUGHOUT THE ARENA!

GP: The chair is still stuck on Tod's head and he falls to the canvas! Jesus, what a sadistic chairshot by Andrew!

Nikki: Now Andrew rolls to the outside and grabs ANOTHER ladder!

GP: Andrew places this ladder on the turnbuckle, and puts Tod right on it! Now he grabs the other ladder and closes it... AND RAMS IT INTO TOD!

JT: Tod was just sandwiched between two ladders!

Nikki: Now Andrew goes to the opposite corner, and charges in... wait, no! Tod just shoved the ladder in front of him into Andrew, and Andrew hits that!

GP: I don't think Andrew saw that coming!

JT: No shit.

Nikki: Now Tod picks Andrew up and nails him with a DDT.

JT: Wait! Tod is going to the top turnbuckle! That ladder that Tod was leaning on is still there!

GP: Tod grabs the ladder and falls with it, RIGHT DOWN ON TO ANDREW!

Nikki: Tod with a great move, but can he capitialize?

JT: Well, Tod's got another ladder... the one he smashed into Andrew earlier, and sets it up!

GP: Tod starts to climb, but Andrew is recovering! He picks up that other ladder and throws it at Tod, sending him right back down on the canvas!

Nikki: Now Andrew throws the chair to Tod, who catches it, Andrew tries a superkick, but it's ducked by Tod! TOD WITH A CHAIRSHOT WHICH ECHOES THROUGHOUT THE ARENA!

GP: Tod is getting pops like crazy in this match!

JT: Now Tod sets up a ladder... and he puts the chair on Andrew's face!

GP: What's he doing?

Nikki: Tod is climbing up the ladder... LEGDROP OFF THE LADDER AND ON TO THE CHAIR! ANDREW MIGHT BE DEAD!

GP: Tod hurt that leg of his, though! Remember that he injured it doing that hurracanrana, earlier in the match!

JT: Yeah, I know.

Nikki: Andrew is slowly coming to, Tod is getting up... I can't believe that Andrew's getting up after that legdrop!

JT: Believe it. Andrew's back on his feet, but Tod's got the chair! He's trying to pick it u- OH!

GP: Andrew just dropkicked the chair right into Tod's knee!

JT: Man, Andrew's finally found a weakness to Schitzo Tod's offense.

Nikki: Now Andrew grabs Tod's knee and puts him in a half crab!

GP: Tod grabs the chair again and...!

*SMACK!*

Nikki: Tod just smashed the chair behind him right into Andrew!

JT: And the moral of our story: NEVER put a submission hold on someone remotely CLOSE to a weapon.

GP: Thank you, JT.

(Suddenly, the DONG is heard again, and the lights go out. When they come back on, three PTC members are in the ring, beating the hell out of Andrew and Tod.)

GP: No! We were having such a great match until these losers came back!

JT: Andrew and Tod are too weakened to fight back!

(Suddenly, "The Doughboy From Hell" by the Pillsbury Doughboy Band plays as the crowd goes ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NUTS as the Pillsbury Doughboy comes down the aisle.)

JT: MY GOD! HE'S HERE! THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY IS HERE IN HIS HOMETOWN OF CLEVELAND, OHIO!

GP: THE DOUGHBOY SLIDES INTO THE RING! A PTC MEMBER RUSHES AT HIM! FINAL
GIGGLE(Rock Bottom)! FINAL GIGGLE!

Nikki: The other two PTC members come in, but they both take double inverted Stunners!

GP: Now one of them stumbles over to the Doughboy... FINAL GIGGLE TO HIM!

JT: The other one stumbles over... SPINEBUSTER!

Nikki: The crowd is going absolutely nuts as the Doughboy sets up for...

JT: There it is! THE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DANCE(The Worm)!

GP: Yes! It is! And the Doughboy has saved Tod and Andrew! Now the Doughboy leaves the ring!

JT: Now Tod and Andrew have stumbled back up to their feet, as both men have set the ladder up in the ring!

Nikki: Both men are slowly climbing up...

GP: And they're brawling on top of the ladder! Wait! WAIT! Andrew with a right hand to Tod's stomach, and he sets Tod up for... oh no! NO!

JT: DREW-PLEX(Top rope fisherman's suplex) OFF THE LADDER! DREW-PLEX! Tod may just as well be toe-tagged right now!

Nikki: But Andrew is hurt, too!

GP: Yeah.

JT: Now Andrew slowly gets up on to his feet, and he slowly climbs up the ladder!

Nikki: Wait! Tod's starting to stir!

JT: He might not make it!

GP: Tod crawls over to the ladder and kicks it! The ladder shakes, but Andrew doesn't fall off!

Nikki: OH MY GOD! TOD JUST SHOVED THE LADDER UP AND OVER AND ANDREW FALLS TO THE CANVAS WITH THE LADDER ON TOP OF HIM!

GP: Tod's down, Andrew's down, and all of this for a stuffed sheep and the lowest title on the face of the planet!

JT: Now Tod moves Andrew to the center of the ring and he sets the ladder up... uh oh!

GP: Tod is climbing the ladder! He's all the way up there! He signals to the crowd...

JT: HOLY SHIT! POWERTOD(Senton Bomb)! POWERTOD OFF THE LADDER!

GP: MY GOD! WHAT A DEATH DEFYING MOVE BY SCHITZO TOD! RIGHT OFF THE LADDER!

(The crowd starts chanting "Holy shit", just because.)

Nikki: Tod is up again, although he's a bit wobbily, now he positions the ladder... will this match be over?!

GP: Tod is busted up, but he climbs the ladder! Andrew is NOT moving!

JT: Tod is up there, he grabs the sheep! He's got the stuffed sheep!

*ding, ding, ding!*

Ring Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AND STILL IWO TELEVISION
CHAMPION... SSCCCCCCHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTZZZZZOOOOO TOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!!

(The crowd goes absolutely nuts as Tod falls off the ladder, but still
victorious.)

GP: My god! And what a chaotic end to a chaotic match!

United States Title Match
Mike Extreme -c- vs. Mike Marchese

JT: And here we go. US Title time time!

Nikki: It's just out one match right into the next with you JT, isn't it...

GP: Mike Extreme, the man who is the US champion, versus Mike Marchese.

JT: Extreme has this in the damn bag GP. There's no way Marchese comes out of Autumn in Hell with that US Title.

Ring Announcer: THIS CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL..AND IT IS FOR THE IWO US TITLE!

<The Crowd has mixed reactions as Kenkraft 4000 by Zombie Nation strikes up. >

Ring Announcer: First........the challenger! From Darien, IL....he stands 6'4 and weighs 258 lbs....MIKE........MARCHESE!!!

<"Higher by Creed strikes up as Mike Extreme comes down the ramp. >

Ring Announcer: From Chicago IL....he stands 6'9 and weighs 325 lbs....the IWO US Champion....MIKE.........EXTREME!!!

GP: The tension here is so thick you could use a knife to cut it. Both men are in the ring now, and stare down each other. the two men start hitting each other with lefts and rights.

JT: They just started going at it, the bell hasn't even rang.

<Ding Ding.>

Nikki: Match has officially started.

GP: The two go at it with lefts and rights.

JT: Hey, this could go on all night

GP: Mike goes right at Mike Extremes ribs with some vicious punches. He tangles Mike up, and goes for a suplex. Mike just pushes Mike to the mat with authority. Mike is thriving in pain. The crowd is nuts.

Nikki: This thing barely started!

JT: Ha! He's gonna fell that tomorrow.

GP: Extreme now on the offensive. He starts stomping the hell out of Mike. He pulls him to his feet. Scoop slam.

JT: These two are going too damn easy. COME ON, GET TO HAMMERING EACH OTHER!

Nikki: All they have to do is go easy. The fans will love it just the same.

JT: That's because they're stupid. It does not take a lot to impress morons.

GP: Watch it. Mike just picks him up again and grabs him by the throat. Mike brushes it away. Mike punches him right in the face. He goes for a chop block, which knocks Extreme back.

JT: Basically an even match.

GP: Mike now goes into the ropes…comes back and meets Extreme with one helluva clothesline…Extreme is down! THE FANS ARE CHEERING!

Nikki: WHAT A CLOTHESLINE!

GP: Mike picks up Extreme…HE SETS HIM UP FOR THE MARCHESE DROP…HE HITS IT!!! COVER!!!

JT: HAHAHA!!! I KNEW EXTREME WAS OUT OF HIS LEAGUE!

ONE…

TWO…

THR…

GP: HE KICKED OUT!!!

JT: WHAT?!?!

GP: HE KICKED OUT, SOMEHOW…SOMEWAY…MARCHESE IS IN SHOCK! Mike is arguing with the referee. Extreme gets up pretty gingerly.

Nikki: That had to take a chunk out of the tank of Extreme…

GP: Extreme pushes Marchese into the ref…the ref hit the turnbuckle…he is out!

JT: Damn ref!

GP: Extreme hits Marchese right in the temple, and kicks him in the gut. He picks him up in a military press. He pumps him three times and throws him to the outside. Jesus…the fans love it! Extreme on the top turnbuckle.
HE POINTS TO THE CROWD…HE GOES FOR AN ELBOW DROP OF THE TOP…MARCHESE MOVES!!!
EXTREME GOT THE CONCRETE WITH HIS ELBOW!!!

JT: This is going to be a long night!

GP: Now both men thrive in pain on the outside. Mike gets up, holding his left ankle.

JT: Stop the match, Mike is hurt! It is not fair.

Nikki: THEY ARE BOTH MIKE'S…dumbass!

JT: NO ONE CARES!

*SMACK*

JT: STOP DOING THAT!!! IT HURTS!!!

Nikki: That's the point!

GP: Marchese looks at Extreme. He grabs Mike's elbow and throws it on the concrete! Mike's arm looks pretty bad…and Mike is coming toward us…

Marchese: This is it! I am ending his career tonight! Stop my chance at beating a rubix cube!

JT: YES!

Nikki: Shut up!

GP: He grabs a folding chair. He is going toward Extreme, who is still in pain. Marchese sets him arm up in the chair…don't tell me…

JT: HE IS GONNA BREAK THE ARM!!! YES!!!

GP: HE STOMPS ON THE CHAIR…EXTREME'S ARM HAS GOT TO BE BROKEN!!! MARCHESE KEEPS ON STOMPING..AND NOW HE IS JAW JACKING WITH THE FANS!

JT: The damage is done…

GP: Mike is getting up…SOME HOW MIKE EXTREME IS GETTING UP!!! HE PICKS UP THE CHAIR…AND SLAMS MIKE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! THE FANS GO NUTS!

JT: NOOOOOOOO!

Nikki: YESSSSSSS!

GP: EXTREME KEEPS ON SLAMMING THAT CHAIR INTO MARCHESE!!! EXTREME TELLS MARCHESE TO GET UP! MARCHESE GETS UP SLOWLY…AND IS MET WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO HIS FOREHEAD! HE IS BUSTED OPEN!

JT: Great…Marchese is bleeding…and the fans are enjoying it!

GP: Mike Extreme picks up Mike Marchese and slams his head into the guard rail. Mike Extreme punches Marchese right in the jaw, and he falls. He picks himself up and hits a low blow on Extreme…Mike now on the
offensive…Mike picks up Extreme and throws him into the guard rail, and then does a running drop kick to gut…Extreme spits up some blood…

JT: What a kick…he broke his ribs…ha!

GP: Mike goes and grabs the chair…and cracks it over his skull…MIKE EXTREME IS ON HIS KNEES AND IS BROKEN WIDE OPEN! MARCHESE GRABS EXTREME'S HEAD AND SHOWS IT TO THE CAMERAMAN!

Marchese: This is what happens when you fuck with the best!

JT: AHEM!

Nikki: You sick!

GP: Mike now grabs the ring steps…and is met by a chair…THE CHAIR COLLIDES WITH THE STEPS…HE IS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEPS…MARCHESE IS DOWN…AND EXTREME HITS THE STAIRS WITH THE CHAIR! THE FANS GO NUTS!

JT: Come on ref…get up…

Nikki: He's out for a long time…enjoy this!

GP: Extreme throws the chair down, and holds his arm…

Nikki: That assault earlier has to have taken its toll…he has fought through that pain…

JT: WHAT ABOUT MIKE?

Nikki: NO ONE CARES!

GP: Mike is pushing the stairs aside…how can he…

JT: He is in need of the US Champion, what else is there to explain.

GP: Marchese is thriving in pain…and falls back down to one knee…but still comes…Extreme is using his one good arm to set up a table…Marchese comes charging toward him and hits him in the head. Marchese finishes
setting up that table in front of us…and grabs Mike. They come toward the announce table. Mike and Mike are on it! Mike sets Extreme up for a DDT, but EXTREME WILL NOT BUDGE! MIKE GRABS MIKE…BRAINBUSTER…THREW THE TABLE IN FRONT OF US! JESUS CHRIST…THIS IS CARNAGE!!!

JT: MY GOD!

GP: Extreme up now…he picks up the limp body of Mike Marchese…and gives him a DDT on the outside…

Nikki: Mike is dead!

GP: Mike Extreme goes back to the ring…he climbs the turnbuckle…HE GOES FOR A BODY SPLASH…AND MISCALCULATES HIS DROP…HE LANDS JUST SHORT OF MIKE MARCHESE…THIS COULD BE THE TURNING POINT OF THE MATCH!

JT: MIKE! MIKE!

GP: Marchese gets up…some how…and puts Extreme on our table…

JT: OH SHIT!

GP: Marchese climbs into the ring…and signals to the crowd…HE DOES A FROGSPLASH! IT CONNECTS!!! OUR TABLE IS IN PIECES, EXTREME IS OUT OF IT, AND MARCHESE HAS HAD THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF HIM! HE STARTS TO COUGH BLOOD…JESUS GOD WHAT A MATCH!

JT: Mike has the tempo now…

Nikki: If he can get himself up…

GP: Marchese leans on the guardrail, and looks at Extreme…does he know that Mike Extreme is out of the game and can he capitalize!

JT: COME ON MIKE!!!

GP: Marchese climbs to his feet, and picks up Mike Extreme…he throws him into the ring…he kicks the ref lightly to see if he is out…the ref gets up gingerly…

JT: FINALLY! I THINK HE WAS SLEEPING!

Nikki: No one cares!

GP: Marchese then goes down by Extreme…and locks him up in a CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!! JESUS, HE IS RIPPING AT EXTREME!!! EXTREME IS OUT!!! THE REF LOOKS AT EXTREME…HE OPENS HIS EYES!!! HE IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!!!

Fans: MIKE…MIKE…MIKE…

GP: THE FANS ARE ON MIKE EXTREMES SIDE…I THINK…EXTREME IS DRAGGING HIS BODY…HE IS FIGHTING THE PAIN OF THE CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!

JT: HE IS GONNA GIVE UP! COME ON…TAP OUT!

GP: MARCHESE PUTTING MORE PRESSURE…HE TAPS!!! EXTREME TAPS OUT!!!

<DING DING DING>

Ring Announcer: YOUR WINNER…AND NEW…IWO US CHAMPION…MIKE MARCHESE!!!

IML Grudge Match
Wesley Sanders vs. Former IML President Nick Kostos

GP: Our next match is gonna be a IML Grudge match! It's between the former president Nick Kostos and Wesley Sanders! Well we see Nick walking around the back waiting to be announced, bu wait! There's Wesley Sanders behind him!! Wesley nails him from behind and Nick goes down hard!!

JT: I guess this match is starting in the back??

Nikki: No shit!

GP: Well Wesley who has waited so long for this matchup grabs Nick and throws him against a soda machine!! Nick falls to the ground and Wesley is stomping away!! He picks him up and slams him onto a table!! Wesley climbs the soda machine! He leaps off and lands right on top of Nick Kostos who is laying across that table!!

JT: OH MY GOD! WHAT A MANIAC!!

GP: Sanders get's up and picks up Nick and starts to drag him to the ring! On the way he bashes his head off a few metal rods or poles that are sitting there, and they finally reach the ring entrance!! Sanders still has
Nick by the hair!

JT: Only girls pull hair!!

Nikki: *Grabbing JT's hair* WHAT?!?!

JT: AHH! I'M SORRY!!

GP: Sanders is still beating the shit out of Nick! Sanders picks him up and a German Suplex!! He is pounding away on Nick!! Sanders turns around and turns to the crowd and puts his arms up in excitement!! The crowd goes crazy as Nick is still on the ground and out like a light! Sanders goes to pick up Nick...CHEAP SHOT AND SANDERS FALLS TO THE MAT!

Nikki: AHHH! Both men are out rolling around on the mat trying to get up! The ref has started the 10 count!! Get up somebody get up!!

Ref: 1...2...3...

GP: Nick Kostos is on one knee!!

Ref: 4...5...6...

JT: NICK IS ALMOST UP!

Ref: 7...8...

Nikki: Sanders is almost up!!

Ref: 9...

GP: HE GETS UP QUICKLY AND NICK KOSTOS SPEARS HIM!! KOSTOS IS POUNDING AWAY ON WESLEY SANDERS!! Kostos lifts him up and whips him hard into the corner! He runs at him and a splash from Nick Kostos!! He starts unloading on Wesley with punches to the stomach and kicks to the groin!! He finally lifts
him up on the ring post, he climbs, and a HEAD SCISSOR'S OFF THE TOP ROPE!!

Nikki: KOSTOS HAS GONE INSANE!! He goes outside and brings in a table!!

JT: Ref stop him!!

GP: He sets it up and places Wesley on top of it! He goes to the top of the ring post, and leaps off!! Wesley moves and Nick smashes right through the table! And a big "OOOH" from the crowd!! Let's see that..in instant
replay!!

JT: That was a big smash as Nick went right through that table! He is taking one hell of a beating today!!

Nikki: I might have to agree with you JT!! He isn't really giving Wesley much of a fight!

GP: Well Wesley has recuperated and is now alright and is going after Nick Kostos!! Wesley picks him up and Nick tries throwing a few punches, Wesley dodges them and scoops Nick up and SLAMS HIM ONTO OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE!!

JT: Nikki save me!!

Nikki: Eww get off me you stink!

GP: I'll save you JT!

JT: Umm no.

GP: HA! Nick gets thrown off our announce table and over the guard rail and into the crowd!! Wesley hops on top of the guard rail and jumps off into the crowd!! He lands right on Nick Kostos!! He is kicking away at him as he picks him up and both are making there way towards the back again!! Nick and Wesley are both throwing punches back and forth to each other!!

Nikki: Look at these two go at it! They must really really hate each other!! They reach the back now and they are still throwing punches at each other! Nick finally blocks a Wesley punch and kicks him in he gut! DIAMOND
CUTTER! Wesley is down and out! Kostos picks Wesley up and slams him onto the hard concrete! You can actually here Wesley's back smack off that concrete! Nick grabs a chair and he's gonna take Wesley out!! He times Wesley perfectly!!

*SMACK!!*

GP: WOW! Wesley just drops to the ground! Kostos throws the chair and now he is gonna beat the shit out of Wesley Sanders!!

Nick Kostos: Wesley this is something I've been waiting so long to do! Your mine now!!

JT: WAIT!!!

GP: WESLEY STANDS UP!! He nails Kostos in the face with a right hand and Kostos falls back and holds his face! Kostos dives at Wesley but Wesley catches him, and a big belly to belly suplex on Nick Kostos!! Wesley is really stomping away at the former IML President!! Wesley picks him up again and a POWERBOMB ONTO THE CONCRETE!! Wesley picks up Kostos and has him in a torture rack as he makes his way to the parking lot!

JT: Hey that's my car!! Damnit not again!

Nikki: What??

JT: Someone put garbage all over my car!

Nikki: JT, it's a Maroon 92' Oldsmobile Achieva. It's worth nothing!

JT: HEY! That car's a classic you know!

Nikki: And so are my tits!

JT: Yeah I know!

*SMACK*

GP: Back to the match! Hey JT look! HAHA! They are on top of your car!!

JT: NOOOO!! I'll be right back!!

GP: Well I guess JT's gonna go back there to try and save his car! As we see Nick and Wesley are battling it out on top of JT's shitty car!! Wesley finally blocks a punch from Nick, and hey there's JT!!

JT: Hey, you two dorks, get off my car and go back to the IML were you belong!!

*Wesley and Nick just look at each other and start fighting again..*

JT: *At the top of his lungs.* HEY! I SAID GET THE *BLEEP* OFF MY CAR!! NOWWWW!!!

GP: WHAT?!?! Wesley and Nick listened to him?!?!

JT: NOW GO BACK TO THE IML!

*We see a red line and on the other side it reads "IML" and Wesley and Nick cross it..*

JT: That's what I thought, now fight! *Says to himself* Hehehehe..I really showed-

GP: HAHA! Nick Kostos and Wesley Sanders jump JT!! Wesley picks him up, PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE!! But there's Nick Kostos behind him and he nails Wesley Sanders with a double axe handle!! Wesley goes down and they are back on the IWO side now!

Nikki: OOh Wesley Sanders is gonna get somethin special from Nikki tonight!!

GP: Well right now Wesley is getting his ass kicked by Nick Kostos right now!! Nick grabs Wesley and throws him onto another car!! He picks him up, and a powerbomb! Wesley goes right through the window!! Nick is
standing there looking at what he has done in a satisfied look!!

Nikki: Ahhh! This is one violent match we got here Greg!!

GP: Yes it is Nikki! And best of all, JT is knocked out still!!

GP&Nikki: AH HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!!

GP: Ok..Kostos is gone off now and the camera is on Wesley Sanders who is being taken care of my medical attention...we see Nick Kostos talking to the owner's of the car, and then Wesley being put in a ambulance..Nick
Kostos has gone from a nice president to a psychotic wrestler! He might have just ended the young career of Wesley Sanders!

Nikki: Wait..why's the ambulance stopping??

GP: OH MY GOD!! NICK KOSTOS WAS THE DRIVER OF THE AMBULANCE!!

Nikki: HOW!?!?! HOW DID HE GET IN!?!?!

GP: I don't know but we see the old driver laying there knocked out on the ground! Nick opens up the door to the ambulance, he goes and pushes Wesley right out of it!! The stretcher flips and Wesley lands right on his
face! Nick clothes the doors and get's back in!! WAIT A SECOND...HE'S GONNA RUN HIM OVER!! SOMEONE SAVE WESLEY SANDERS!!

Nikki: AHH DAMMIT C'MON SOMEONE SAVE HIM!!

GP: Kostos puts it in reverse, puts his foot to the gas, AND IT GOES IN REVERSE AND IT CRUSHES WESLEY SANDERS AND THE STRETCHER!! HE'S CRAZY!!

Nikki: Oh god! They are gonna need another ambulance, but Kostos knocked out the ambulance team and he has run over there walkie talkies!! Kostos slaps Sanders in the face and spits on him showing alot of dis-respect!

GP: Well the two hate each other Nikki! And well I think Wesley Sanders is gonna die soon if he doesn't get up from that! I bet he has ton of internal bleeding going on!!

JT: Sanders is trying to get to his feet... Sanders catches Nick with a spinning roundhouse kick!

GP: I'll say. Sanders sends his former boss into the ropes, right into the referee! The referee falls down to the mat!

JT:Nick goes off the ropes to catch Sanders....WHAT?! Nick was just tripped up...but by who?

JT: IT'S DONNIE DAZE! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!

Nikki: Daze is in the ring. He has Prez Nick on his shoulders....Sanders springboards off the ropes....FINISHING TOUCH! FINISHING TOUCH! IT'S
ALL OVER!

GP: The referee crawls over... 1.......2.........3! SANDERS WINS!

JT: Sanders wins it...but why did Donnie Daze help him?

Nikki: Sanders has a mic, maybe we'll find out!

Sanders: Nick, tonight, I just proved, exactly why I am one of the greatest superstars to ever grace an IML ring. And now, I have just formed an alliance with ANOTHER IML great, former IML World Champion Donnie Daze!

Daze: Nick...how dare you try to end the career of a man who was with the IML when it first started? If it wasn't for the Wesley Sanderses and the Shawn Carters, you wouldn't even have a JOB in the IML! And I'll be DAMNED if you try to ruin MY career here! That's why I have partnered up with Wesley Sanders to form a team that has....PURE ATTITUDE!

Sanders: That's right. And if any of you have a problem with it, we're going to be doing a litlle ATTITUDE ADJUSTING in the IWO...just like we did Prez Nick!

GP: WOW! Pure Attitude is here, in the form of Donnie Daze and Wesley Sanders! Both talented superstars, bound to make an impact on the tag team scene.

======================
Extreme Title Match
Cleveland Pawn Shop Match
Fenix -c- vs. Lunatic Pandora/Sam Potright

GP: It's time for the Cleveland Pawn Shop match! Sam Potright takes on the champion, Fenix!

JT: What the hell is a Cleveland Pawn Shop match?

GP: It says here... "The first man to find the IWO Gold Medallion located in a pawn shop in Cleveland is the winner..."

JT: Weird.

GP: Anyway, let's go to Cleveland's streets!

(The scene goes straight to the streets of Cleveland, downtown. Buildings are up high in the air...)

GP: There's Sam Potright, wandering...

JT: You think he's crazy yet?

GP: Who knows... FENIX FROM AN ALLEYWAY!! HE HAS A TIRE IRON!! POTRIGHT GOES DOWN!! Fenix with the tire iron, drives it into Potright's back! Fenix getting the early advantage.

JT: Talk about crazy... a tire iron?

GP: FENIX BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF SAM POTRIGHT WITH A TIRE IRON!!

(Fenix drops the tire iron.)

Fenix: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Who's the more extreme, bitch?

GP: What the... SAM POTRIGHT JUST WENT BALD!!

JT: Bald?

GP: Hold on... THAT'S THE LEAD SINGER OF DISTURBED!! THAT'S NOT SAM POTRIGHT!!!

("Jen Doesn't Love Me Anymore" blasts through a car's speakers as something heads down the street...)

GP: Um...

(IT'S AN OLDSMOBILE!!! Sam Potright gets out!)

Potright: JEN... JEN JEN JEN JENNNNN... NO, SHE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE ME ANYMORE!!!

GP: POTRIGHT SPEARS FENIX!!! THEY'RE BATTLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREETS OF CLEVELAND!!! FENIX WITH AN ELBOW TO POTRIGHT'S EAR!! And Fenix picks up Potright by his hair! Throws Potright into the front of the Oldsmobile! And slams his head into the hood! Fenix carrying Potright somewhere...

JT: It's a pharmacy!

GP: HE TOSSES POTRIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT WINDOW!!! FENIX LAUGHS!!

Fenix: Oh, is this fun!!

GP: Fenix crawls into the pharmacy... he looks around.

JT: There's a lot of drugs here.

GP: Don't start, JT.

JT: What'd I say?

GP: Just don't say anything. Fenix looks around... he's got pepto-bismol.

Nikki: You think he needs that?

GP: Maybe. But he isn't using it, as he smashes the bottle on Potright's head! Fenix has some Rogaine now... He TAKES SOME!!

Nikki: Looks like he wants more hair!

GP: This is weird... like last year's Anti-Gravity match. Fenix is finished with the Rogaine, he tosses that away... look, he's growing hair already! He picks up Potright, throws him over the counter... man, is Potright
sucking bad in this match.

JT: Thanks for that technical analysis, Greg.

GP: I thought I told you to shut up. Fenix gets on the counter... but he sees the cash register. He OPENS IT UP!!! FENIX IS STEALING FROM A PHARMACY!! THE BASTARD!!!

JT: CALM DOWN, GREG!

Nikki: Yeah, like who hasn't stolen from a pharmacy before?

(The announce table is quiet...)

GP: Well, okay then. I see your point. Fenix takes out the last crispy $20 bills... hey, what happened to Potright?

Nikki: Yeah. He spent so much time taking money...

GP: This is great.

(Fenix looks around... Potright is not behind the counter, nor in front.)

GP: We've lost an IWO wrestler.

(There's a honking sound...)

GP: GOOD GOD, POTRIGHT HAS JUST DRIVEN HIS OLDSMOBILE THROUGH THE FRONT OF THE PHARMACY!! FENIX IS THROWN BACK IN A FLURRY OF GLASS AND DRYWALL!!!

(Potright gets out... smiles... and walks across the street, where "Clevelad Downtown Pawn Shop" is. He looks inside... the pawn shop is closed.)

GP: Did someone forget to unlock that?

(Potright goes to open the door... and it doesn't budge.)

Nikki: Yup.

(Potright slams his shoulder against the wall.)

GP: The guy used to be called "Shrimp"... does he sincerely believe he's going to break open a door with his shoulder?

Nikki: He figured that out... now Potright is heading to the Oldsmobile again. He gets in the front seat... AND FENIX IS ON THE HOOD! HE SLAMS A PIECE OF THE WINDOW STRUCTURE INTO THE WINDSHEILD!!! POTRIGHT DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY OF MOVING GLASS! POTRIGHT PUTS IT IN REVERSE AND HITS THE GAS!!! FENIX GOES OFF THE OLDSMOBILE HOOD! POTRIGHT IS ABOUT TEN FEET FROM
FENIX, IN CONTROL OF AN OLDSMOBILE!!! HE HITS THE GAS...

JT: A HUMMER!!!

GP: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Nikki: NO! HE'S SERIOUS!!

GP: A HUMMER?!!! IT'S A HUMMER!! A HUMMER JUST HIT THE OLDSMOBILE FULL-FORCE!!! GOOD LORD, SAM POTRIGHT MIGHT BE DEAD!!!

(Potright stumbles out of the Oldsmobile door and falls to the ground. Out of the hummer is... VIOLENT J OF THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE (the rap group)!!!)

Violent J: This car hitting has been brought to you by... fay-go! Please drink fay-go!

GP: Oh, yippee.

Nikki: Buyrates plummeting...

GP: We did not hire this guy.

JT: This could be the worst move... WHAT THE HELL?!!

(A HYDRAULIC CAR IS BUMPING IT'S WAY DOWN THE STREET!! IT'S DR. DRE AND EMINEM!!!)

Eminem: Yo, Dre, stop the car!

Dr. Dre: Huh?

(The car bounces past, causing Violent J to watch as it goes by...)

Eminem: DRE, STOP THE CAR!!!

Dre: WHAT?!!

(The car continues off...)

Violent J: SLIM.... ANUS!!

(ANOTHER CAR IS COMING!!)

GP: Must be rush hour.

(Who is it? IT'S ICE T!!)

Ice T: YO YO YO, MOTHER FUCKERS!!

(He pulls out a gun and kills Violent J... and drives off after Eminem and Dre...)

GP: What the HELL was that?

Nikki: Don't ask me.

GP: Oh well, in the confusion... Sam Potright is slowly crawling his way towards the pawn shop... and Fenix is on his feet! He runs after him, picks up Potright, and tosses him!!

JT: TOSS THE GEEK!! MY FAVORITE OLYMPIC GAME!!

GP: That's not in the Olympics!

JT: Sure it is!

Nikki: I think JT was tossed.

JT: I remember you tossing my salad.

*SLAP!*

JT: Owie.

GP: Well, Fenix is at the door of the pawn shop now... and he cracks open the door! Fenix is now inside the pawn shop, all he has to do is find the medallion! Potright is on the ground outside... Fenix is inside. He's looking
around...

JT: MY PORNO COLLECTION!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!

GP: I'm gonna break out with some mad skrillz on yo' ass!

JT: Skrillz?

GP: Shut up.

JT: Not before I find out who sold my porno collection!

Nikki: I did, okay? It took up the overhead compartment on the plane.

JT: Yeah, well.... well.... YOU SUCK!!!

(JT begins crying.)

JT: I had... sob... a 1974 Playboy in there!

GP: Oh, shut up. Fenix tears down some old watches... no medallion. He goes towards the model cars... nothing. BUT POTRIGHT IS IN THE PAWN SHOP, TOO!! HE GRABS AN ANTQUE CANE, AND CRACKS IT OVER FENIX'S BACK!! HE TOSSES IT AWAY... it hit some jewelry. HOLD ON!!! THERE'S THE MEDALLION!!!!

(There's a shiny IWO Medallion with the words "Cleveland Pawn Shop Match Winner" on it... Potright stalks towards it.)

GP: POTRIGHT IS GOING TO BE THE NEW EXTREME CHAMPION!!! HE'S EVER SO CLOSE TO
IT.... SO CLOSE... FENIX TACKLES HIM DOWN!!! FENIX WITH A HARD FIST TO THE BACK OF POTRIGHT'S HEAD, AND HE REACHES FOR IT!! FENIX HAS HIS FINGERS AN INCH AWAY... POTRIGHT GRABS IT AND FLIPS HIM OVER!! FENIX'S FEET HIT THE JEWELRY CASE, THE MEDALLION SLIPS TOWARDS THE BOTTOM... BOTH MEN REACH UP....

Nikki:Dear god! What the hell! A huge bookshelf just fell onto Potright and Fenix!

GP:Who the.... it's DANE MATTHEWS!

JT:Dane Matthews has a sly smile on his face, as he leaves the Pawn Shop...

(Matthews grabs one of JT's porno's on his way out.)

JT:NO! THAT BASTARD! I'll kill him, I swear! Dane Matthews is a dead man!

GP:Wait! Potright! HE GRABS THE MEDALLION!

*Ding, ding, ding*

Meygon:Your winner, and NEW Extreme Champion, Sam Potright!!!

JT:My god what a hectic match!

Atlantic/IC Tag Team Title Match
If Arrows is pinned, the winner of the Fall wins the Atlantic Championship
If the Winds of Changed are pinned, the winner of the fall wins the I.C. tag team
championship
Should McNally or one of the Devastators be pinned, nothing happens.
Winds of Change -c- & Lance McNally vs. the Devastators & Shawn Arrows -c-

GP: Fans, this next match should be one for the ages. We've got six men, stepping into the ring, with Lance McNally and the Intercontinental Tag Team Champions, the Winds of Change, in one corner, and Atlantic Champion Shawn Arrows, and the Devastators, in the other corner, with both the Atlantic Title, and the Intercontinental Tag Team Titles on the line.

JT: I really don't know what to expect in this one, I mean, it should be obvious that McNally, and the Winds of Change, are going to try and keep Arrows in the ring, since he's the only guy they'll only gain anything
from, and Arrows and The Devastators are going to try and keep the Winds of Change in the ring, since the same applies for them. But the question is, will McNally stop one of the Winds of Change from pinning Arrows? Will
Arrows stop one of the Devastators from pinning one of the Winds of Change? What do you guys think?

Nikki: Well, since all six of these men are out for gold, I've got a feeling they're going to be trying to win the match themselves, I think we may even see one of the Winds of Change, stop the other one from getting a three
count on Arrows in this one.

GP: I'm going to have to agree with you two for once, it does seem like these guys wont be working very well together, and that they'll all be trying to stay in the ring, so this should make for some interesting action,
but enough of that, lets just get down to the ring and see what goes down!!

Meygon: Coming to the ring first...

["Take me on" by Reel Big Fish begins to play over the arena speakers, as the fans give a standing ovation. Lance McNally walks down the entrance ramp, and walks up the steps, climbing into the ring, and walking over to a corner, getting up on the middle rope to pose.]

Meygon: From Pittsburgh, PA, weighing in at 237 and a half pounds, he is former IWO Atlantic Champion, Lance McNally!!!!!!

[The fans continue to cheer as McNally hopes down from the ropes, and stands in the corner waiting for his partners.]

Meygon: And his partners..

['Young Lust' by Pink Floyd begins to play as the fans continue to cheer while Joey Malone and Daniel Phillips make their way down to the ring accompanied by Janitor 7.]

Meygon: From Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at a total combined weight of 480 pounds, and being accompanied to the ring by Janitor 7, they are the IWO Intercontinental Tag Team Champions, Joey Malone, Daniel Phillips, they are the Winds of Change!!!

[Malone and Phillips finally make their way up the steps and into the ring, being followed by Janitor Seven, who unfortunately slips and falls, landing on his rear on the floor as McNally just stands back laughing. Malone
and Phillips make their way over to McNally, and the three begin to huddle, apparently talking over a few last minute game plans for this match. Right as they get out of their huddle, "IronMan" by Black Sabbath begins to
blare through the arena speakers, as all three men turn towards the entry way, flagging Arrows, who has stepped out onto the top of the entry way towards the ring. Arrows starts to walk towards the ring with a smile on his
face, but walks around to a side of the ring, and hops over the guard rail, sitting in an empty seat, next to a well built guy. The two stare at each other for a second, and then smile, as Arrows can be heard saying "This one's for you bro," right before he hops back over the rail, and stands on the floor, waiting on his tag partners.]

Meygon: And now, their opponents, first, standing at ringside. He is from Greensboro, North Carolina, and weighs in at 234 pounds, standing 6'3. He is the master of the Arrow-Shot DDT, the IWO Atlantic Champ, he
is..."Simply Perfect" Shawn Arrows!!!

[The fans have all started booing for Arrows, as he just stands back laughing at them, leaning back against the rail talking to the guy he was sitting with a few seconds ago.]

Meygon: And his tag team partners.

['Blood Brothers' By Iron Maiden begins to play, as the fans are still booing, but we think most of the boos are directed towards Arrows, more than the two men coming out now. The Devastators step out from behind the curtain, and the total booing turns into a mixed reaction from the fans, as they make their way down to ringside, and hop up on the apron on different sides of the ring, surrounding McNally and the Winds of Change, giving
them only one side of the ring to get out on. McNally and the Winds of Change, knowing this isn't a good situation to be in, all exit on that side of the ring, as Arrows and the Devastators climb through the ropes and into
the ring.]

Meygon: From Trenton, New Jersey, weighing in at a combined weight of 711 pounds, they are Dustin Dachey, and Devon Dice, they are..The Devastators!!

DING..DING..DING..

GP: There's the bell, and this match should be underway, and Devon Dice is standing in the ring for his team, but McNally and both members of the Winds of Change are on the floor.

JT: Janitor Seven is making his way over to where his pals are, but before he can get there, he gets cut off by the man from the front row, who just jumped over the rail and nailed Janitor Seven, running him head first
into the steps, and hopefully taking him away from being any sort of factor in this match.

Nikki: I just want to know who that man is, he doesn't look like anyone we've seen on IWO Television before. Could it be the guy Shawn Arrows was talking about in one of his promo's leading up to this match?

GP: I really don't know, but it seems like it, because the man has made his way over to the corner Arrows is standing in, and I guess he's become their manager for this.

JT: Why isn't Samantha out here? I really wanted to see her in one of her normal skimpy outfits, but we don't get to see much of her on television anymore. Darnit I wanna see puppies.

GP: The man that was with Arrows a few seconds ago, seems to be making his way over here to our booth, no wait..he stopped at his seat and got a bag, and now he's coming over here.

Man: You wanted to see puppies?

JT: Yea, I like puppies, you have a problem with that?

[Just as JT said that, the man swung the bag, and knocked JT over the head with it, sending him to the ground, and out cold, as he pours the bag out in the front row, revealing a bag full of stuffed toy dogs.]

Man: There's your puppies, sicko.

GP: Well, I guess you're going to be joining us for the rest of this match, is that correct?

Man: Damn straight. I'm here because tonight is the night I get a contract with the IWO, and get to hold one of these tag straps.

Nikki: I really don't know what to say, so I'm just going to stick with the action inside the ring. Devon Dice and Lance McNally, who got in the ring when this guy was making his way over to the announcers table are
walking around in circles, trying to make each other take the first step for an attack, and both do at the same time, right into a lock up!

Man: McNally with a headlock on Dice, but Dice shoves him off and into the ropes, Dice ducks under as McNally comes back off, and goes for a powerslam, but McNally reverses it into a DDT.

GP: That was a pretty impressive move from Lance McNally right off the bat, as he's picking Dice up, and sets him up for a Suplex, he tries to lift him up, but that doesn't work as well as he had planned, Dice tries one of
his own, and it doesn't work either. Dachey runs in the ring, and grabs McNally as well, and they're going for a double Suplex, but Joey Malone stops that by grabbing Dachey and setting him up for a Suplex, but he can't get him up either, and Dachey can't get Malone up!!

Man: These guys are too rested, and at full strength, moves like this aren't gonna be working as well as they think this early in the match, as you can see right now.

Nikki: Daniel Phillips runs in the ring, but he gets met by Arrows with a low blow! Arrows picks him up, and suplexs him, but holds on to it, and lifts him back up, nailing a brain buster and he holds on yet again and lifts
Phillips back up, dropping his legs down onto the ropes, making him bounce back up, and he just DDTed the life out of Daniel Phillips.

GP: Arrows is taunting Phillips, kicking him in the gut, but he doesn't realize that McNally hit a Suplex, finally, on Devon Dice, and McNally comes from behind with a high knee, sending Arrows tumbling through the ropes
and out to the floor.

Man: Come on Arrows. You've gotta win this one!!! Come on!!!

Nikki: McNally pushes Dachey out of the ring, after he lets go of Malone, and now Malone and McNally are double teaming Devon Dice. They swing him into the ropes, double flapjack! Dachey trying to get back in the ring to help his partner, but Phillips stops him with a boot to the face, sending him back down to the floor. Phillips is screaming at Dachey, and finally decides to go help his teammates. He turns around and..

Man: And Arrows shoves him right back down to the ground with a belly to belly Suplex! Arrows kicks Phillips out of the ring, and then ducks a clothesline attempt by Malone sending Malone to the ropes and Arrows greets
him coming back with an Arrow-Shot DDT!

GP: But Malone falls off his back, and gets Arrows in a sleeper, the referee is breaking it though, and telling both Malone and Arrows to get out of the ring. Malone breaks the hold, and Arrows falls to the ground, as the
referee turns his attention to Malone, letting Arrows pop right back up, obviously faking so he wouldn't be forced out of the ring, and Arrows spins McNally around, dropping him with a DDT!!

Man: Yea!!! Arrows gets out of the ring, and pulls Dice over to him, slapping his hand making Arrows the legal man, as he hops back in the ring and nails McNally with a right hand, and another. The Winds of Change
are both trying to get the crowd riled up for McNally, but while they're doing so, Arrows brought McNally to the corner and made him tag in Phillips by slapping McNally's hand on Phillips' hand.

GP: So this is Arrows' game plan. If he can keep McNally, and the Devastators out of the action, all he has to do is beat one of the Winds of Change, and he gets the Intercontinental Tag Titles.

Nikki: And we all thought Arrows was the idiot of the group.

Man: He is. It was my idea!!

Nikki: Anyway, Arrows has Phillips in a headlock, but Phillips musters up the strength, after the major blows he's taken early in this match, to send Arrows into the ropes, Arrows comes back and Phillips hits a clothesline, and
then starts laying the boots in on Arrows.

GP: After stops Phillips's boots by tripping Phillips, and now Arrows is laying in the boots. Phillips goes for the trip, but Arrows jumps over Phillip's foot, and lands with a leg drop!

Man: I'm telling you..Shawn Arrows is beyond a shadow of a doubt, the perfect wrestler. He knows how to get out of every situation.

Nikki: Whatever you say dude, Arrows does seem to be in control right now, as he swings Phillips into the ropes, but there's a blind tag to McNally. Arrows jumps over Phillips, and he gets a spine buster from McNally!!
McNally picks up Arrows, and swings him to the ropes, he catches him coming off, and executes a blackbody drop, but holds him up against his back and sits down, driving Arrows head first into the mat! Arrows rolls out of the ring, and is looking up at McNally pissed.

Man: Arrows doesn't want McNally in the ring, and if he can't figure out a way to get McNally out of this match, he has no real chance at winning those tag straps, because it's obvious the Winds of Change don't want to be
in there right now!

GP: That's for sure. Arrows slides back in the ring, and tags in Dustin Dachey, who goes into a lock up with McNally, getting McNally in a headlock, and Arrows is talking on a cell phone?!?

Nikki: Ok, what the hell is this idiot doing?

Man: Ordering a pizza for after he wins the Tag Titles?

GP: Dachey gets pushed, but he holds his grip, and sits down, driving McNally face first with a bulldog! What the hell?!?

[A weird sounding circus music begins to play over the speakers as a midget Devon Dice, a midget Dustin Dachey, a Midget Joey Malone, and a Midget Lance McNally all come riding down to the ring on small mopeds.]

Man: Dachey quickly tagged Arrows in, and McNally tagged Phillips in, and the midgets go to work on their taller look alikes running them over with the mopeds as they were walking on the floor to try and stop them!! The
Midget McNally is even dressed like Ronald McDonald, and has a McFlurry in his hand!!

GP: Shawn Arrows has turned this place into a circus, and he's laying the boots into Phillips on the inside. The midget Dachey just nailed Dustin Dachey in the head with a small childs chair, and is now jumping up and
down on it while it's on top of Dachey!

Nikki: Dear lord, what has Arrows done?

Man: It's obvious, he's gotten everyone out of the match except for himself, and one of the Winds of Change, guarenteeing that either he'll lose, which he knows wont happen, or he'll walk out with the tag straps!

GP: The Midget Lance just nailed Lance with the McFlurry, and is signaling for the Just Rocked!!

Nikki: Don't tell me the Midget's gonna try and pick McNally up.

Man: Nope, but she is!!

GP: That's Samantha Arrows!! She's got McNally, and she just nailed the Just Rocked on him!!! She's dragging him away from the ringside area!!

Nikki: The Midget Lance is getting in the ring, and he's starting to strip. What the hell else could happen tonight?!?

GP: He's down to his boxers, and he's starting to slide them down, but thankfully Arrows stopped this one. He pushes the midget into the ropes, and the midget comes back and gets an Arrow-Shot DDT!! Arrows pushes the
Midget Lance out of the ring and the rest of the midgets are running over to him. What the hell are they doing?!?

Man: It appears as if they're pissing on him GP. Man, this is some funny shit!!

Nikki: Now all of the midgets are going back to beating up their look alikes, and the Midget Lance is getting arted out in a food buggy by two midget janitors!!

GP: Fans, we've been told that we're gonna go backstage right fast, while all thats going on down here is the Midgets and Arrows kicking holes in everyone else!

[Cut to the back, where Samantha has McNally, still dragging him through the backstage area. Two men run by them, one, trying holding his pants up and run at the same time, and the other, who looks like a fat eskimo is
chasing him yelling "Come on hunny, you know you want this!" Samantha just stops and
laughs for a second, and then continues on, dragging Lance into a room, and closing the door as we come back to ringside.]

Nikki: Wasn't that Psycho Jay?!?

GP: Yeah that's him!!

Man: And to think, we've got Shawn Arrows and his planning to thank for all of this!

GP: You mean, all of this. The Midgets, The Eskimo, it's all thanks to Arrows?!? Well, while all of this was happening, Arrows swung Daniel Phillips into the corner, and took down the referee when he did so.

Nikki: Thats what the referee gets for standing in the corner, knowing Arrows was swinging Phillips that way. Arrows is now beating the crap out of Phillips, and here come some officials pulling the midgets off of their
taller look alikes, and dragging them all to the back.

Man: Arrows just pushed Phillips out of the ring, and theres the Phillips' look alike midget, and he just ran him over with that moped!!..The Midget has the moped parked on his foot, and is spinning the tires!!

GP: Finally, the referees are back out, and getting the final midget out of the ringside area, leaving the Devastators who are slowly climbing back up to the ring apron, Shawn Arrows, who is standing in the ring laughing his ass off at everyone, and the Winds of Change, who are both down outside the ring, and the referee is still down!

Nikki: Both the Devastators are back to their feet, and have rolled Daniel Phillips in the ring, and Arrows is going to work with more kicks to the back and ribs, while the Devastators are now going to work on Joey Malone!
Fans, we've heard that we're going to take you backstage once again, for some more footage of whats going on back there!

[We go back to the back, to show Lance McNally, hadcuffed to a bed, with a silver S sprayed on his chest. He's left in his boxers, and a fat Eskimo lady is trying to get them off!]

Man: Oh my. It looks like Lance is about to be the next victim of the Eskimo rape clan!!

[Some lady runs into the room and clocks the Eskimo with a chair to the head, knocking her out cold, as she goes over and helps Lance out of the handcuffs. She yells a few words to him, and then nails Lance with the chair as
well, and handcuffs him back to the bed.]

Man: Dude, this is some funny shit. Shawn Arrows, is making everyone look like fools tonight, and is pulling out all the stops to do so, and it seems to be working to perfection so far.

[We fade back to the ring, as all the fans are laughing at this scene as Arrows and the Devastators are still doing a job on the Winds of Change. The referee has made his way back to his feet, and Arrows has a sleeper on
Phillips, while the Devastators are handcuffing Malone to the turnbuckle.]

Man: Now it's down to three on one, I told you, Shawn Arrows has this all perfectly planned out. He's got McNally beaten down backstage somewhere, Malone handcuffed, and a seriously hurt Daniel Phillips in a sleeper. Plus, he's got Psycho Jay, someone he's hated for the longest time, running from an eskimo backstage.

GP: The referee has raised Phillips' hand twice, he raises it the third time, but Phillips' keeps his hand up, and starts working his way back to his feet. Both men up to their feet, Phillips' swings an elbow, but Arrows
lets go and catches him in a belly to belly overhead suplex. Phillips' gets right back to his feet though! Arrows gets to his feet slowly, and Phillips meets him with a clothesline!

Nikki: Phillips picks Arrows up, and swings him into the turnbuckle, he runs, and bounces off the ropes, sending Arrows out of the turnbuckle, and Phillips hits a Bulldog on Arrows, and then begins to climb to the top
rope!! Phillips dives off the top rope, but Devon Dice catches him in a powerslam, and Dustin Dachey executes a leg drop, as they pull Arrows over to the corner and make him tag Dice in!

Man: No, this isn't the way it was supposed to be, or is it. Arrows was a bit weak, maybe he does need a few minutes to take a breather before climbing back in the ring and finishing this match off.

GP: Malone finally got out of those handcuffs thanks to another referee, but Devon Dice is already wearing Phillips down with kicks to the back, and Phillips has yet to get up! Malone climbs in the ring as Dachey was coming in to try a double team and the referee went over to stop him. Malone claps his hands together, as Phillips finally gets a breather, and Devon Dice turns around to meet a powerslam by Malone. Malone swings Dice into the ropes, and takes down the referee, and knocks Dachey to the floor and out cold! And...what the hell is he doing now?!?

Man: Arrows, back on his cell phone, and..

Nikki: What the hell is that?

Man: Thats a giant version of Dustin Dachey!!! He's got Dachey over his shoulder, and he's taking him to the backstage area!! It's down to 2 on 2!!

GP:This is just a crazy night...

(We fade back into the backstage area, where Lance McNally is no longer tied to a bedpost.)

Man:I guess McNally got out of there in time before that Eskimo women tried to get her "Groove thing" on with him.

Nikki:McNally is nowhere to be seen, inside the ring though, Devon Dice is fighting away with Daniel Phillips and Joey Malone. FATED HURRICANE! FATED HURRICANE!

Man:Arrows is just standing there on the apron...

(All of a sudden, Shawn Arrows' cell phone rings. Arrows has a shocked look on his face, as he answers it.)

GP:Oh my god! Look at Arrow's mouth drop!

(Lance McNally walks out from the back, carring a cell phone in his hand. He just lightly waves towards Arrows, as Arrows drops his jaw. All of a sudden, three men wearing next to nothing, and rubbed in baby oil, walk out from the ringside area, and drags Arrows down off the apron. JT woosily gets to his feet, seeing three oily naked men on top of Arrows. He shudders, and takes his seat as far away from them as he can.)

JT:What the hell is going on!

GP:OH MY GOD!

Nikki:Those are guys from the Chippendale's catalog!

Man:Inside the Ring, Dice goes for Malone... but Malone catches him... Phillips.... AGAIN! FATED HURRICANE! DEVON DICE IS DOWN, Shawn Arrows is being mauled by these guys... 1-2-3! NO! NO! GOD DAMNIT NO! All of Arrow's plans down the drain!

(McNally races down and grabs the Atlantic Title out of Arrow's hands. He throws it down onto Arrow's limp body, as the three chippendale's men walk away. Nikki chases after them, as she jumps on the one guy's back. They take Nikki to the back.)

JT:What in god's name!

(The man who was doing comentary leaves in disgust, as McNally laughs at the fallen Arrows. McNally all of a sudden points up to the arena ceiling.)

GP:What in the hell is going on!

(All of a sudden, some fifteen thousand pairs of men's underwear fall down onto the fallen Arrows. Arrows is very irate, however you can't tell because he's been buried in thousands of pairs of men's underwear.)

JT:This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen! Why the hell is McNally doing this!

GP:McNally picks up that cell phone, and he starts to talk to someone! What in god's name could this be about!

(All of a sudden, a midget in a bikini walks out from the back, and walks over to Arrows. Arrows, who has fought his way out of the men's underwear collection is intrigue... as the Midget walks over to him.)

Midget in Bikini:Arrows, you suck!

(The Midget then grabs the bucket he was carring, and begins to dump gravy all of Shawn Arrows. McNally slides into the ring, and celebrates with the Winds of Change, as he leaves the ringside to a standing ovation. McNally goes back into the ring, and bows right at Arrows, and puts the exclamation point on the end of a bitter feud. Nikki returns to the broadcast booth.)

JT:Damn your fast... maybe I DON'T want to be with you after all....

*Smack*

Nikki:You can't last that long anyway... and besides, I just gave them my number, a seven digit thing you'll never see from a girl...

Tag Team Matchup
Must win via Pinfall
Winner Recieves Tag Team Title Shot
Prime Time Soldiers vs. Team Tampax vs. the Suicide Kings

GP: Stop arguing... it's time for the triple threat tag team match!

JT: Yeah, but Schitzo Tod, a couple of minutes ago, was in a shit-beating-out-of contest with Andrew. Does he still have enough to face these other two teams?

Nikki: No doubt, the Suicide Kings are the darkhorse to win this. I mean, they're new, they've had ONE match since hitting the IWO, and they're two-time former IML tag team champions, something that only the Enemies of the State have done. I mean, even the Winds of Change didn't do that...

JT: The Winds of Change were only big in the IML2.

Nikki: Oh.

GP: Anyway, let's go to the ring!

("The Theme to Ranma ½" plays as Team Tampax: AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Schitzo Tod, come out to a huge pop, because they're freakin' Team Tampax!)

Ring Announcer: First... from... somewhere! At a total combined weight of 449 pounds... TEAM TAMPAX!

(Team Tampax enter the ring and continue to get cheers... then, "Rollin" by Limp Bizkit plays as Scott Stone and Tyler Johnson nearly get booed out of the arena.)

Ring Announcer: Next! From Scranton, PA, weighing in at 247 pounds, SCOTT STONE! His tag team partner! From somewhere! Weighing something! He is TYLER JOHNSON! They're accompanied to the ring by Nicole... THEY ARE THE PRIME TIME SOLDIERS!

(The Prime Time Soldiers enter the ring... and then, just for effect, the Suicide Kings come out. And the crowd goes apathetic. They get in the ring.)

Ring Announcer: Finally, from... somewhere... weighing in at something... they are the Suicide Kings!

(The Suicide Kings roll into the ring and start brawling with some people.)

GP: The Suicide Kings have entered this battle and started brawling with Team Tampax!

JT: Ha! The PTS just shoved the Kings back and are beating up Team Tampax as of now!

Nikki: I don't think the Suicide Kings took too kindly to that, as they've jumped the Soldiers from behind!

(Suddenly, a Nerf gun falls from the rafters to the ring, and amazingly, it doesn't break.)

JT: What in the hell?!

GP: It's a Nerf gun!

Nikki: And Schitzo Tod grabs it, and fires it at Jeff King, who stumbles back as a result of it!

GP: Jeff King charges at Tod, but Tod just PASTED King with a shot to the face with the Nerf gun!

JT: Tod drops the weapon and clotheslines Ryan King over the top to the outside! Now Tod runs across the ropes and nails King with a tope suicida!

Nikki: And Tod was in a WAR with Andrew, earlier on!

GP: Now everyone's leaving the ring!

JT: They're brawling to the back! What the hell's going on?!

GP: I've just been informed by the production crew in the back that this match has become a Falls Count Anywhere match!

JT: Whoa. So, basically, anything goes?

Nikki: Yes.

(Suddenly, aardvarks parachute down to ringside, to the delight of the fans. Up there in the rafters is Elian Gonzalez, the King of Aardvarks.)

JT: Yay.

(Then the cameras follow the six men who brawl in the hallways. Jeff King against AWS Man (also known as Bill), Ryan King against Tyler Johnson, and Schitzo Tod against Scott Stone.)

Nikki: They're brawling right through the locker rooms! And into... oh my God! The boiler room!

JT: The boiler room! That's where that Lava Monster was, earlier on!

GP: Well, the Lava Monster is gone, thankfully. And... and... WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT?!

(Greg Parker is refering to the freak wormhole that is currently sitting on the floor of the boiler room.)

JT: ...it looks like a wormhole!

GP: What the hell is it doing here?

Nikki: I don't know, but Ryan King and Tyler Johnson are stepping quite close to it!

GP: I don't even think they know it's there!

JT: Wait, Schitzo Tod knocks Scott Stone down with a discus punch, now he turns to Ryan and Tyler... uh oh!

Nikki: TOD WITH A RUNNING DROPKICK TO TYLER JOHNSON! Johnson just accidently bumped Ryan King into the wormhole!

JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a chopblock to Tyler Johnson, and they both go in!

GP: My God! Now Schitzo Tod backdrops Scott Stone into the wormhole, but Stone catches Jeff King with his legs and they both go in! Schitzo Tod doesn't know what to do!

Tod: Well, when in Rome...

Nikki: OH MY GOD! Tod just jumped in, himself! And he drags the referee, with him!

GP: Now what?!

JT: Look at our brave cameraman! He just jumped in the wormhole, too!

(And we come to Tokyo, Japan. A street there, no less!)

Nikki: My God! We're in JAPAN!

GP: Japan!? TOKYO! We're in Tokyo, Japan! The wormhole is in the middle of a street! What the hell is going on!?

JT: Now, Jeff and Ryan King have some sushi, and they ram it into Scott Stone's face!

GP: Tyler Johnson meets the King Brothers with a flying double clothesline off a fire hydrant!

(Suddenly, a rumble is heard.)

AWS Man (also known as Bill): What the freak was that?

Jeff King: I dunno.

(Another rumble is heard. Jeff King casually pastes AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a vicious shot with a newspaper machine thingie.)

GP: WHAT THE HELL!?!? THE BUILDING IN THE BACKGROUND JUST COLLAPSED UPON ITSELF!

JT: Oh my GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S... IT'S...

Ryan King: Hey, uh, what the hell is that?!

(Ryan King points to the background.)

AWS Man (also known as Bill): Freakin'! It's freakin' Godfreakin'zilla!

(Yes, folks! Godzilla appears in the background. And he looks MAJORLY pissed!)

JT: IT IS! IT'S GODZILLA!

GP: GODZILLA IS RUSHING TOWARD THE SIX WRESTLERS!

JT: But they all scurry away like the cowards they are, and Godzilla jumped through another building! He's left the scene!

GP: Well, now the fight continues, and Tyler Johnson hits a superkick on Jeff King!

Nikki: Now Ryan King gets knocked down, as both Scott Stone and Schitzo Tod climb up to the top of a scaffold, nearby, and... uh oh!

GP: DEAR GOD! SCOTT STONE JUST TOOK OUT RYAN KING WITH STONED(Senton Bomb) AND SCHITZO TOD CAME OFF WITH HIS OWN VARIATION OF THE SENTON BOMB! RYAN KING MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!

(Helicopters are heard in the background.)

AWS Man (also known as Bill): Awww, freak! What the freak's going on now, freak it?!

(Jeff King clotheslines AWS Man (also known as Bill) to the cement floor.)

Nikki: Helicopters! And they're CLOSE!

GP: Scott Stone is brawling with Schitzo Tod! Stone kicks Tod in the groin and picks up a trash can! And he drives it in Schitzo Tod's back!

JT: Wait! The helicopters are flying by in rapid succession!

Nikki: Now Scott Stone flings the trash can across the street and it nails Jeff King in the face!

JT: Aaahhhh! A helicopter just landed near where they are! Scott Stone flings another trash can at its blade and it destroys the trash can!

Japanese Guy: Owchi! Ahh ahh ahh! Hiyah!

GP: Aaahhhh! That Japanese guy just superkicked Scott Stone in the face! Now he's storming off!

JT: Now Schitzo Tod takes advantage on Stone by driving his face into the scaffold! And a German suplex! With a bridge! The ref's there! One... two... no! Tyler Johnson made the save!

GP: That's the first pin attempt in this entire match!

JT: This is a match? It's more like an acid trip!

Nikki: Yeah!

(Another rumble is heard.)

AWS Man (also known as Bill): Freak! This is freakin' freaking me the freak out, freak it!

(AWS Man (also known as Bill) dropkicks Jeff King off of a bench.)

GP: Tyler Johnson with a brutal move, as he just threw Ryan King into a glass window!

JT: Ryan King is trying to crawl out of the glass, and he's bleeding pretty badly! Which is awesomely awesome, if I do say so myself!

Nikki: TNN! We've got pop!

(A stuffed cow falls on Nikki, at ringside, knocking her out.)

JT: That was... interesting.

GP: Yup.

JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) hits a spinning kick to the stomach on Stone! Now what's AWS Man (also known as Bill) doing? He's digging something out of his pants... OH MY GOD! IT'S PEN! IT'S PEN! Stone doesn't know what to do! Aaaahhh! STONE JUST GOT BITCHSLAPPED BY PEN!

GP: PEN HAS MADE HIS SECOND APPEARANCE HERE IN AUTUMN IN HELL!

JT: Tyler Johnson wanders over near AWS Man (also known as Bill), and HE takes a Pen Bitchslap, too!

GP: Here comes Ryan King! PEN BITCHSLAP FOR HIM!

JT: And just so he isn't alone, Jeff King takes a bitchslap, too!

(Suddenly, another roar comes out and Godzilla marches over to AWS Man (also known as Bill)!)

GP: Dear God! Godzilla and AWS Man (also known as Bill) are having a semi-staredown!

JT: HA HA! HE JUST BITCHSLAPPED GODZILLA'S LEFT BIG TOE WITH PEN!

GP: HOLY SHIT! HE GODZILLA JUST BACKED OFF!

JT: Godzilla's leaving! To the north, it looks like!

GP: The Suicide Kings are back up and they're double teaming Scott Stone! Double flapjack to Stone!

JT: Schitzo Tod clips Tyler Johnson!

GP: Ryan King picks up Scott Stone....

JT: Oh no! It's... THE CUTTHROAT! THE SUICIDE KINGS HIT THEIR BIG MOVE! RYAN KING GOES FOR THE COVER! ONE... TWO... NO! Schitzo Tod makes the save!

GP: Now Schitzo and AWS Man (also known as Bill) both hit stereo DDTs on the Kings! They pull Scott Stone over to the scaffolding... and they climb up!

JT: This must be that new move they were talking about! They're both up there! MENSTRUAL FLOW(Double shooting stars press)! MESTRUAL FLOW! THEY BOTH COVER! ONE... TWO... AHHH! TYLER JOHNSON JUST BLOCKED THE FINISH BY DRIVING HIS ELBOWS INTO BOTH MEN!

(Nikki wakes up.)

Nikki: Aaahhh! What happened?

JT: Not much.

GP: Yeah.

JT: Johnson picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill), but Tod pops up and grabs him from behind! TOMIKAZE!

GP: Whattya want to bet that he likes that move?

Nikki: A lot.

GP: Yeah.

JT: Now Scott Stone seems to be more like a punching doll! Tod hooks Scott Stone, who is still out... TORNADO DDT! He goes for the cover! One... two... no! Ryan King gets in there!

GP: King hits a diamond cutter on Tod! Tod may be out!

Nikki: Wait! AWS Man (also known as Bill) just threw Ryan King into the wormhole! He's back in the arena!

GP: Jeff King gets speared by Tyler Johnson into the wormhole! Now Team Tampax recover and follow them!

JT: But Scott Stone is still out!

GP: Wait! We just got word that the Lava Monster is fighting with Godzilla and the North Pole!

JT: And no one cares.

GP: Yeah.

JT: Well, everyone except Scott Stone is back here in America, and they're still fighting, even though Tyler Johnson is all alone, right now!

Nikki: Wait! Johnson hits Ryan King from behind and grabs him from behind... Ocean Cyclone suplex! WITH A BRIDGE! ONE... TWO... NO! Schitzo Tod dives on to Tyler Johnson to break the three!

JT: Man, Tod's pretty energetic for someone who just came out of a Cleveland Stuffed Sheep Fight.

GP: Well, Ryan King was pretty much screwed there, so Tod had to do something.

Nikki: Now the five remaining men are brawling through the locker rooms again... and to the ringside area!

JT: Wow! It's been a while since they came back here!

GP: Ryan and Jeff King are back in the ring, followed by Tyler Johnson... and Team Tampax! We're all in the ring, baby!

JT: Johnson is whipped in by the King Brothers, he ducks the double clothesline by the Suicide Kings, but takes a double hotshot from Team Tampax! Man, Johnson's getting whipped, right now!

Nikki: Wait! Team Tampax runs at the Suicide Kings and takes them both down with flying lariats!

JT: Of course.

(The scene switches to the North Pole, where the Lava Monster has just hit Godzilla with a tombstone piledriver. Santa Claus runs in to count the one-two-three. The scene goes back to the arena, which shows the Suicide Kings hitting Cut-throat on Tyler Johnson.)

GP: CUT-THROAT! CUT-THROAT! But there's no ref! They forgot to bring him over from Japan!

(Suddenly, "He's A Man's Man" plays as He-Man comes out to a HUGE pop.)

GP: HE-MAN IS HERE! AND HE'S GOT A REFEREE'S SHIRT ON! IS HE GOING TO BE THE NEW REFEREE!

JT: YES!

Nikki: HE-MAN RUNS IN! HE'S WHEELING A GIANT WEDDING CAKE OUT WITH HIM! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME! RYAN KING IS BARELY LAYING ON TYLER JOHNSON! HE-MAN COUNTS! ONE... TWO.... THR-NO! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) JUST HIT HIM WITH A DOUBLE AXEHANDLE! THE MATCH IS STILL GOING ON!

JT: Is He-Man even a licensed IWO referee?!

GP: YES! Didn't you hear the announcement this morning?

Nikki: Uh, yeah!

JT:Why is there a wedding cake out here?

Nikki:Of all the crazy things, you ponder about a huge wedding cake...

GP:AWS Man (Also Known As Bill) just clotheslined Ryan King out of the ring... Schitzo Tod recovers from the downed position... MENSTRAL FLOW! RIGHT DOWN ONTO TYLER JOHNSON!

JT:Cover, He-Man counts! Schitzo Tod knocks Scott Stone off the apron! 1.....2...

Nikki:Tod sends Jeff King flying off the apron!

JT:... 3!!!! Dear god! Team Tampax have just won a tag Team Title Shot at the tag team champions! Dear god, this was a crazy match!

GP:JT, this entire night has been crazy, and I guess Commish Ford will be damned if he let's a night of wackiness stop! But as the referee clears the ring... we've got a special challenge match up for you next.

JT: Yeah, that gothic geek Trent McFarlane takes on a mystery opponent, I hope he gets the black eye makeup beaten off him.

Nikki: You may not like his lifestyle JT, but he is a great wrestler.

GP: That's for sure, but you have to consider that no matter how great a wrestler is, it is nearly impossible to prepare for a match when you still don't know who your opponent is.

JT: Even if Trent knew when he was born that he would have this match I doubt he'd be ready for it.

GP: Well we'll see about that.

Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a mystery opponent match scheduled for one fall I guess. The first and only wrestler I know is Trent Mcfarlane!

("Mummified in Barbed Wire" blasts as Trent McFarlane makes his way down to the ring with his barbed wire baseball bat to a chorus of cheers.)

GP: Well Trent seems ready, now we'll await his opponent.

Nikki: Hey guys look VP Evan is on the top of the ramp!

JT: Yes! Maybe they're cancelling the match!

VP Evan: OK, if all of you stupid people would SHUT THE HELL UP FOR ONE GODDAMN MINUTE!

(The crowd boos loudly.)

VP Evan: Much better, thanks for your cooperation. Now, as you probably figured out....actually, you probably didn't figure it out so I'll tell you. Trent McFarlane is scheduled to take on a "mystery opponent". Now
nobody likes these kinds of matches, they're REALLY hard to prepare for. But that's just too DAMN BAD! Trent, you have defied my power since you came to the IWO. I'm sick of it. I have the power around here, while Jamie is off building webpage dynasties, I am running this show and every show. McFarlane, I am the man, I am the creator, and you are just my pawn!

Trent: You're the man? You're the creator? From here all I see is a HUGE jerk off!

(Crowd pops.)

VP Evan: Real cute McFarlane. Way to get a cheap pop and get the crowd behind you. Maybe they're be behind you when they're wheeling your ass out on a stretcher after this match.

Trent: Right now I'd welcome a stretcher ride because your boring me half to death! Just bring out my "mystery" bitch so I can tear him apart!

VP Evan: Have patience Trent, patience. Now all of this could have been avoided. If only you had kept your nose out of my business, then I would have spared you. But it's too late Trent, even if you beg for
forgiveness, your fate has been sealed. The time has come....

Trent: Evan......SHUT THE FUCK UP!

VP Evan: That's it! I've had enough of your disrespect! Here is your opponent.......EVAN LEVINE!!!

("Eye M Even Levan end eye em beture ten gawd" by Joe Mama plays but nobody comes out.)

Trent: I had a feeling it was gonna be you, so I had the guys in the back ready with a special tune for ya! Come Evan! Where are you? Don't be embarrassed!

JT: Where the hell is Evan?

Nikki: I have no clue.

GP: Wait a second, look at that giant birthday cake that was wheeled down to the ring in the last match! It's moving! McFarlane doesn't see it.

JT: It's Evan!

Nikki: Evan was in the cake!

GP: Levine slips into the ring behind McFarlane and levels him with a forearm shot to the back of the head. Levine pounds Trent to the mat with a series of forearm shots! Evan picks him up and sends him to the ropes, CLOTHESLINE. Trent's down.

JT: Get him Evan, don't let him get up!

Nikki: Not that Evan would listen to you, but he is following that strategy as he's stomping a hole on Trent.

GP: Levine and Trent got into it on Hostile Meltdown and now Evan is Trent's mystery opponent! Levine bounces off the ropes and drops an elbow to the sternum of McFarlane.

JT: Where's Phelen Kell's mentorship now!? Ha!

Nikki: Shut up you idiot.

JT: Give me head.

*SMACK*

GP: Levine is now heading up top! He dives off the top for a splash but Trent pulls his knees up! Now McFarlane is slowly getting to his feet. Evan is up too, he charges at Trent, SPINNING HEEL KICK from McFarlane nearly decapitated Evan! Now Trent picks him up and sends him to the ropes, knee lift!

JT: Come on Evan!

Nikki: Yeah, a very good chant when Evan's on his back JT.

GP: Trent now slaps on leglock submission hold. Evan trying to crawl to the ropes before his leg is twisted beyond all recognition.

JT: At least When Evan's in control the match is exciting, this is almost as boring as a Shawn Arrows promo!

Nikki: Hey I like Shawn Arrows!

JT: Let me guess, because he's cute?

Nikki: Well, yeah, but he's good too.

JT: Shallow slut.

*SMACK*

GP: Levine has finally reached the ropes while you two children were bickering. Now both men are up and they lock up! Levine shoves Trent back to the corner and elbows him in the side of the head. Levine whips
McFarlane to the other corner and charges in......but Trent gets a boot up in Levine's face! Levine stumbles back, McFarlane hops to the second rope....BULLDOG! He covers,1..................2.................KICKOUT!! Not enough to
put Evan away!

JT: Nothing's enough to put Evan away, Evan is better than God!

Nikki: He's also rusty from not wrestling much in the past two months.

JT: That doesn't mean anything!

GP: Trent pulls Levine up by the head and takes him down with a vertical suplex. Now McFarlane picks Evan up again and whips him to the ropes, POWERSLAM! Trent's in control now!

JT: BOOOORING! BOOOORING!

GP: Trent sends Levine to the ropes once again and sends him flying over the top ropes and out of the ring with a huge back body drop!

Nikki: That had to hurt!

JT: Yeah like it hurts when you have sex with Vincent right?

*SMACK*

GP: Trent waits back for Levine to get to his feet, Levine up and here comes Trent with a suicide dive over the top ropes! NOOO! LEVINE SIDE-STEPPED IT AND SPIKED TRENT FACE FIRST INTO THE GUARD RAIL!

JT: Or as that moron Tony Schiovane would say....THE RAIL OF PAIN!

Nikki: I think we can agree that Schiovane is a moron.

GP: Well we all agree on that. Now Evan sends Trent right into the ring steps! Evan runs in and dropkicks Trent right in the chest! Levine picks him up and drops him with a piledriver right on the concrete!

JT: That's right! No little pussy mats around the ring here in the IWO.

Nikki: Yeah, just little pussy color commentators.

JT: WHAT!

*SMACK*

Nikki: How dare you smack me

*SMACK*

GP: Guys stop it! I think McFarlane could have done some damage to his neck. The ref is checking on him, but Levine just throws the ref away.

Nikki: That should be a DQ!

JT: Please, it was an accident you could plainly see Evan was stretching out his bicep.

Nikki: Sure he was.

GP: Now Levine is kicking Trent in the neck. Evan rolls Trent back into the ring and lifts him up for a brain buster! No! Wait, Trent squirmed his way out of that, kicked Levine in the stomach and planted him with a
sitting face buster!

JT: He cheated!

GP: It looked perfectly legal to me. Now both men are slowly getting to their feet, Trent swings at Levine, but Evan ducks it and catches him with an atomic drop! Trent holds his family jewels and stumbled back, Levine
catches him with a cross body block into a pin! 1...............2....................THREEEEEEEEEENO! McFarlane was
able to escape!

JT: That was a slow count!

Nikki: Well maybe if Levine didn't bitch slap the ref a few minutes ago then he would have counted faster!

JT: It was only a stretch!

GP: Whatever it was, it may have cost Evan the match right here. Now what is Levine doing........he's bringing Trent up to the top ropes! He's calling for his finisher which I don't know because it's not on the roster!
He's gonna do it from the top ropes! Wait....Trent blocks it! He hooks Levine up.........EDGECRUSHER(top rope michinoku driver)FROM THE TOP ROPES ALL THE WAY TO THE OUTSIDE AND THROUGH THER GOTHIC ANNOUNCERS TABLE!!!! SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!

JT: Nooo! Evan's dead!

Nikki: That move was amazing! And I didn't even know we had a gothic announcers table!

GP: Well Trent's gothic look may just be a coincidence, I don't know. Now Trent has to get Levine back into the ring to get the cover. He's dragging Evan out of the rumble and rolling him into the ring. Trent covers, here
come the Central Powers! No! 1....................2.....................THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! The Central Powers enter the ring and begin beating down McFarlane! The bell rings, the referee is disqualifying Evan Levine!

JT: No! That's a cheap win! Re-start the match!

Nikki: They can't re-start it now, all those Central Powers people are in there beating on Trent!

GP: VP Evan is just cheering them on! What the hell, Scott Stone just nailed the Suicidal Tendencies on the referee!! That was uncalled for!

JT: The ref deserved it after DQing Evan!

Nikki: Aww, that slut Discord is out to check on her man.

JT: You're just jealous cause you can't get a man skank.

*SMACK*

GP: McFarlane has no chance here! Ligil has McFarlane's barbed wire baseball bat, he smashes it on Trent's forehead! Now Ligil is having them pass Trent up to him on the top ropes! PALINDROME(top rope DVD)!!!!!
MY GOD! TRENT'S NECK MAY BE BROKEN INTO A THOUSAND PIECES!

Cassie:Rob... I think it's time...

Nikki:Rob Kestler picks up McFarlane... OH MY GOD! CALL FROM BEYOND! Trent's neck IS Destroyed!

JT: Good!

GP: They've stopped the beating on Trent for now and VP Evan is getting in his face!

VP Evan: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SCREWED WITH ME! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! NEVER MESS WITH THE MAN WITH THE POWER! THAT'S IT I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF LOOKING AT YOU! TAKE HIM APART!

JT: Yeah, take him apart!

Nikki: They're not doing anything!

GP: Why aren't the Central Powers listening to VP Evan?

VP Evan: Didn't you hear me? ARE YOU ALL DEAF? I SAID FOR YOU GUYS TO DO HIM IN! INJURE HIM!

JT: Listen to the man, he knows his stuff!

Nikki: CP are talking with each other......

GP: HOLY SHIT! TYLER JOHNSON JUST BLASTED VP EVAN WITH THE BARBED WIRE BAT! OH MY GOD! CENTRAL POWERS JUST TURNED ON VP EVAN! THEY'RE BEATING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!

JT: They can't do that! VP Evan created them!

Nikki: Now here come the always tardy IWO security force to break things up!

GP: I can't believe what we just saw. The Central Powers essentially cost Evan Levine the match, then turned on VP Evan! What is happening with that group!

Nikki:Oh my god! Look at the security racing out here right now. They're breaking everything up! The Central Powers are being taken to the back, and we have EMT's racing out here to help McFarlane and VP Evan! McFarlane is hurt beyond belief. I can't believe it!

GP:EMT's are picking up a stretcher, and they are setting it around McFarlane. They begin to tie up McFarlane's neck in a neck brace. Dear god folks, this is a travesty. I can't believe it! It's a horrific scene!

Pacific Title Match
For the Vacant Title
Cyanide vs. AWS Man (Also Known as Bill)

GP: It's time for the match that will decide who our Pacific Champion will be to take place!

JT: Cyanide versus AWS Man (Also known as Bill). This is gonna be an incredible match-up!

Nikki: I can't believe that you're admitting that an undercard match is gonna be incredible.

JT: But AWS Man freakin rules. This is his secont matchup tonight!

Nikki: Cyanide will take out AWS Man easily, and what you said is the reason why!

GP: Well, we're about to find out right now.

Ring Announcer: The following contest is schelduled for one fall and is for the vacant IWO Pacific Championship!!!!

("Conquest of Paradise" by Vangelis plays as Cyanide comes out to the ring escorted side by side with the lovely ladies Calista and Stephanie to a good pop.)

Ring Announcer: Weighing in at 315 and a quarter pounds... from Canterbury, New Zealand, but he's now based in Hollywood... CYANIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT: Wow, Those girls are fiiiiiiiiine!!!!

GP: Cyanide looks relaxed and ready.

Ring Announcer: And his opponent...

("3.14" by the Bloodhound Gang plays as AWS Man (Also known as Bill) makes his way out to the ring accompanied by The Nude and Pen. Some fans seem grossed out at the site of The Nude.)

Ring Announcer: Weighing in at 234 pounds... from Freakville, USA... AWS MAN!!!!! Also Known as Bill.

GP: Look! AWS Man comes running out and immediatly attacks Cyanide. AWS Man is gonna have to rely on his quickness to defeat the larger, stronger Cyanide! AWS Man and Cyanide are excanging lefts and rights!

JT: Look on the outside of the ring! The Nude and Pen are chasing after Cyanide's Supermodels! They're running around the ring as they exit the ring area!!! Oh my god it's already become insane!

Nikki: The nerve of those pigs to chase after those ladies like that!

JT Pigs?

Nikki: Yes, Pigs.

GP: Well, you can call um what you want. But right now Cyanide has gained the upper hand in the match and body slams AWS Man onto the mat he then follows with an elbow drop... gets up and another... gets up and another! Cyanide is starting to pour the offense onto AWS Man! Cyanide has AWS Man up and whips
him into the ropes, AWS Man comes back and ducks a clothesline going to the ropes, he comes back and Cyanide ducks his head and a SWINGING NECKBREAKER by AWS Man!!!!!

JT: Whoa. That really changed the momentum of the match!

Nikki: Sure did.

GP: AWS Man grabs Cyanide and elbows him in the back of the head. He then whips him into the turnbuckle and follows with a flying splash!!!! Cyanide is reeling and AWS Man with a DDT!!!!!!!! AWS Man makes the cover!!!
1.............2......Kickout!!!!!

Nikki: He can't take Cyanide out of the match that easily! No way!

JT: Just watch him!

GP: AWS Man is gonna try a Vertical Suplex! Can he get the big man up! YES! A Vertical Suplex by AWS Man onto Cyanide! AWS Man's now climbing to the top turnbuckle! High Risk here! BODY SPLASH!!! NO!!!! CYANIDE GOT HIS KNEES UP!!!!!!! AWS Man is hurt now!!!

JT: No shit sherlock.

*Slap*

Nikki: Watch your mouth!

JT: That hurt! You hit me harder than usual!

GP: You two stop it! Cyanide has AWS Man up, kick to the stomatch... he has up in position fow what could be aaaaaa.... POWERBOMB!!!!!! A DEADLY POWERBOMB BY CYANIDE ONTO AWS MAN!!!!!!!!! CYANIDE TAKES THE COVER!!!!! 1..............2..............3NO!!!!!!!!!!! AWS Man kicks out!!!!! Cyanide can't believe it! He's arguing with the ref! AWS Man back up and a Low Blow onto Cyanide! A Small Package!!! 1...................2..................Kickout!!! AWS Man back up and he grabs Cyanide, he whips him into the ropes, AWS Man Back Body Drops Cyanide right to the outside of the ring!!!! Cyanide looks extremely hurt on the
outside! Look AWS Man with a SUICIDE DIVE RIGHT TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING ONTO CYANIDE!!!!!!! AWS Man appears hurt as well!!!

Nikki: That idiot! Why do you think they call it a Suicide Dive!?!?!

JT: Nikki, bite me. It may have hurt AWS Man a little, but Cyanide is completely knocked out!

GP: What the hell!?! Cyanide is the first man up! Cyanide is crawling up to his feet. AWS Man is now on his knees and punches Cyanide in the gut. Cyanide responds with a knee to the face and AWS Man falls to the ground. Cyanide picks him back up and whips his into the steel ring steps WHAM!!!!!!! What a sound that made!!!! AWS Man looks extremely hurt now!

JT: What is Cyanide doing!?! He's got a chair!

Nikki: No! You're gonna get yourself disqualified!

GP: CYANIDE SWINGS AT AWS MAN BUT AWS MAN DUCKS OUT THE WAY AND TAKES THE CHAIR AND NAILS CYANIDE WITH IT!!!!!! THAT SHOULD BE A DISQUALIFICATION!!!!

JT: But they're outside of the ring! It's ok if they're outside of the ring.

Nikki: Anyway the ref is telling AWS Man to get Cyanide back into the ring.

GP: AWS Man grabs Cyanide and rolls him back into the ring. AWS Man is going back up top! He's waiting for Cyanide to stand back up and a MOONSAULT!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?! CYANIDE CAUGHT HIM IN MID-AIR!!!!!!!!! CYANIDE WITH A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!!!!!

JT: OH MY FUCKIN GOD!!!! THAT LOOKED LIKE ONE FLUID MOTION!!!!!!!

Nikki: THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

GP: AWS MAN JUMPED OFF THE TOP ROPES WITH A MOONSAULT BUT CYANIDE CAUGHT HIM
AND TURNED IT INTO AN INSTANT TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!!!!!!! IT HAS GOT TO BE OVER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!!

Nikki: But Cyanide is slow to make the cover! He finally reaches him! 1....................2....................3NO!!!!! AWS MAN KICKED OUT AT THE LAST POSSIBLE FRACTION OF A SECOND!!!!!

GP: Cyanide is looking in disbelief! He thought he had the match won right there! Cyanide grabs AWS Man up again, he begins using more punches, he then whips AWS Man into the corner. Cyanide looks like he's going for
something dangerous! Could be a top rope Superplex! AWS Man is fighting back! Cyanide is reeling! AWS MAN WITH A TORNADO DDT!!!!!!!!!! Both men are out on the ground!!! The ref has started his ten count! 1.......... 2............ 3........... 4 ................ 5.............. and AWS Man begins to get back up! He makes the cover onto Cyanide! 1.............2...........Another kickout!!!

JT: Oh boy! This match has been more competitive than I thought AWS Man grabs Cyanide back up again and whips his into the ropes no Cyanide holds on and whips AWS Man, Cyanide follows AWS Man to the ropes and Clotheslines him out over the top!!! They're outside the ring yet again!

Nikki: These guys must REALLY want the Pacific Title!

GP: It's a very prestegious championship. The likes of ?¿? and Ken War have held this title. LOOK OUT!!! OHH!!!! Cyanide rammed AWS Man's head into our announce table!!! Oh no, what is Cyanide doing now? Not a Piledriver on the outside!!!

Nikki: YES! IT'S A PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!! THAT HAS GOTTA BE IT FOR AWS MAN!!!!!!! JUST ROLL HIM INTO THE RING AND COUNT TO ONE HUNDRED!!!!!

GP: Well, I don't know about one hundred but that SHOULD get him three!

JT: Cyanide rolls AWS Man into the ring. And he covers him... this is it! 1...................2......................3NO!!!! AWS MAN KICKS OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Nikki: GOOD GOLY JESUS!!!!!!!

GP: Cyanide REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT NOW!!!! Cyanide picks AWS Man up again, he whips him into the ropes, AWS Man ducks a clothesline, AWS Man comes back with a Cross body block but Cyanide ducks and AWS Man falls right into the ref!!!!

JT: AND NOW WE GOT A REF DOWN!!! EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED IN THIS MATCH!!!!

GP: Cyanide is going to the outside of the ring, he's got a damn steel chair! What's he gonna do with this!?!

JT: He's gonna his AWS Man with it idiot!

GP: I know, but I was adding drama... Cyanide back in the ring! OH MY GOD!!! KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF!!!!! AWS MAN WITH THE KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF AND THAT CHAIR CRASHED RIGHT INTO CYANIDE'S FACE!!!!!!! CYANIDE IS OUTCOLD!!!! AWS MAN IS GOING TO THE TOP AGAIN!!!

JT: This is dumb! Everytime he's been up there something bad has happened to him!!!

Nikki: NOT THIS TIME!!!!!! WIN THE FREAKIN MATCHIFER!!!!!!!!! AWS MAN LANDED THE WIN THE FREAKIN MATCHIFER!!!!!!!!!!! The ref is getting up!!!

GP: ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWS MAN IS THE NEW IWO PACIFIC CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The Nude and Pen then come running back from chasing the two supermodels and helps AWS Man up off the mat as they begin celebrating.)

GP: MY GAWD THIS WAS AN INCREDIBLE MATCH!!!!!!

JT: I have to admit it was.

Nikki: Lord yes.

GP: As one match ends... another must begins.

*Cut to a promo of the Main Event*

World Tag Team Title Match
Team V.I.A.G.R.A. -c- vs. The Spaz Event

GP: Lettttttttt's get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!!!!!

JT: ... Um, you don't go "letttttttttttttt's", Greg.

GP: Crap.

Nikki: Boy, I can already tell this is going to be the epitome of broadcasting for wrestling... I'm being sarcastic, by the way.

("American Badass" by Kid Rock plays.)

GP: What the....?

(There's a motorcycle thrumming behind the entranceway...)

GP: IT COULDN'T BE!!! IT JUST MIGHT BE --!! THIS MIGHT BE --

(Out comes "THE AMERICAN BADASS", HIGH FLYER!!!! On his beautiful Snow motorcycle! Made completely from snow! He has on his World tag team title belt around his waist, and drives the snow-cycle around the ring as it slowly melts away. He stops at a corner and gets into the ring, not noticing that his tights are wet all on the inner part of his thighs...)

GP: Hey, where's Kate Young?

JT: Um... I think I went a little too hard for her.

GP: Oy.

("Degenerate" by Blink 182 plays... boy, they've really turned pop recently, huh? Out steps Tony Davis, wearing... is that....)

GP: HE IS WEARING NADS!! NADS!! NAAAAADS!!

JT: Calm down, Greg. IT'S ONLY NAAAAAADS!!

Nikki: Have you two been smoking from Mike Marchese's bong pipe again?

JT: Hee hee...

GP: Mwa ha...

(Nikki notices the smoke that's slowly rising from in front of the table. She leans over and there's a bong pipe with "Mike Marchese" spray-painted on the side.)

Nikki: Oh, good gracious. This is going to be a long match.

(Tony Davis STRIPS OFF THE NADS!!! HE'S WEARING... his normal wrestling gear, thankfully. You try wrestling a naked guy. That can't really be comfortable, especially for a missed boot to the crotch...)

GP: Naddy naddy naddy!

JT: Tweak!!

("Twist of Cain" by Danzing plays as out runs the Spaz Event, Spaz and "The Main Event" Steve Sullivan (see... they put Spaz and "Main Event" together, replacing "Main" for "Spaz"... originial, huh?), followed quickly by
Cactus, being carried by one of the ring technicians. He puts Cactus down on the steps as Spaz attacks High Flyer and Sullivan mows down Tony Davis with a spear.)

GP: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S.... DAMMIT! I forgot what I was going to say!

JT: TWEAK!!

Nikki: I really will hurt someone before this match is over... it looks like I have to do this on my own! Spaz drops a knee onto Flyer's sternum! Spaz now stands up, and launches an elbow into the sternum!

GP: HARD TO STERN!!!!

JT: SHE JUST CAN'T DO IT CAPTAIN!!!! I'M TOO SKINNY TO DIEEEEE!

(GP and JT cackle under the influence...)

Nikki: I swear... this is not appropriate PPV standards! Steve Sullivan, meanwhile, is rolling around the ring with Tony Davis... oooh... I remember when Tony rolled around with me..... SHIT! Did I just say that?

(Let's drop the announcers, shall we? One's horny and the other two are higher than Mir. Sullivan rolls himself backwards, only to be met with a boot to the face from Davis, knocking him backwards. Davis gets to his feet
and gets ready to drop an elbow on Sullivan, but misses. Sullivan gets to his feet and goes for a legdrop, which misses. Davis grabs a leg and rolls over for a pinning combination. The referee goes to count... ONE....
Sullivan kicks out!)

(On the other side of the ring, High Flyer and Spaz are exchanging chops. Spaz connects with one on Flyer's chest.)

Crowd: WHOOOOO!

(He connects with another.)

Crowd: WHOOOOO!

(He misses another. High Flyer with the advantage, and he hits a stiff one! The camera closes in on Ric Flair, who's in the audience.)

Ric Flair: WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! HIGH, JIGGA-JAGGAWHOOP-DE-KOOSPACEMOUNTAINLOVESITRIDINGTHESTARI'MTHEMINORITYFACIESTFACECRAZIESTPLACE FLYER!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(HOW many people have been smoking? Geez.)

Nikki: Well... there's the world's most high legend.

(Flyer goes for another one, Spaz grabs his arm, and flings it over the top rope. He then hops to the top turnbuckle and launches over the apron, grabbing High Flyer's head as he goes down! Flyer goes down, holding his throat!)

JT: I WANNA BE THE MINORITY!!!

GP: I WANNA BE THE MAJORITY!!!

JT: I DON'T NEED YOUR AUTHORITY!

GP: I AM AUTHORITY!!

(JT and GP get into a fistfight.)

Nikki: Okay... at least they're gone. Flyer is clutching his throat tightly, trying to get some air in... Davis gets flung over him into the corner, Sullivan steps on Flyer as he goes for a splash in the corner!! Flyer
now clutching his abs as well as his throat! Sullivan backs away, laughing.... Flyer with a roll-up!!! ONE..... TWO...... CLOSER THAN A MOUSE'S HAIR TO CHEESE, SULLIVAN KICKS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!! He rolls backwards, and gets to his feet... Spaz climbs up on the apron, hops on the top rope, and goes
for a frog splash from the ropes! He connects on High Flyer! He and Sullivan both cover the hurt Flyer... ONE.... TWO.... NO!! TONY DAVIS HITS BOTH MEN WITH FOREARMS!! DAVIS IS BACK TO HIS FEET, HE'S PISSED!!

(GP and JT are still fighting. JT WITH A LEFT HOOK! GP IS WOBBLY!!!! BUT GP HITS A CRUNCH OF THE NUTS!!!!)

Nikki: WOULD YOU TWO QUIT IT?!!! Damn... anyway, Davis goes after Spaz! Spaz runs off, and Davis is chasing Spaz for all he's worth! Spaz jumps through the middle and top ropes, avoiding Davis! But.... he left Sullivan in there!! Sullivan isn't moving around! Davis turns around... Sullivan sprints, but FLYER TRIPS HIM BY GRABBING HIS ANKLE!!! SULLIVAN FALLS INTO THE BOTTOM ROPE, AND DAVIS GRABS HIM!! IT LOOKS LIKE THE EQUALIZER!!! YES!!! HE HITS HIM WITH THE EQUALIZER, AND ROLLS HIM OVER!!!! TRIPLE H HAS PUT MANY AWAY WITH THIS MOVE THAT HE STOLE FROM DAVIS!! CAN THE ORIGINATOR DO IT HIMSELF? Originator...? What the hell....?

(ONE.................... TWO..............................)

Nikki: SPAZ PULLS DAVIS OFF OF SULLIVAN! SO CLOSE!! SO VERY CLOSE!!! SPAZ ROLLS IN, GETS TO HIS FEET, AND BEGINS STOMPING AT DAVIS!! FLYER IS ON HIS KNEES... SPAZ LAUNCHES HIS BOOT INTO FLYER'S STOMACH!! Flyer should have broken ribs!

(GP KNOCKS JT DIZZY!!! JT IS ON THE VERGE OF GOING DOWN!!!)

Nikki: SPAZ GRABS THE HURT FLYER, AND ROLLS HIM UP WITH A MAGISTROL CRADLE!!! HE HAS THIS OVER!!

(JT IS DOWN!!! And the referee of the match.... IS COUNTING JT OUT!!!)

Ref: ONE....... TWO......... THREE....... FOUR....... FIVE........ SIX......... SEVEN...... EIGHT.....

(JT is on his feet!)

Nikki: YOU ASSHOLE!!! THERE'S A MATCH IN THE RING!!! I'M NOT GIVING YOU HEAD AFTER THE PPV IF YOU DON'T GET BACK TO THE MATCH!!!

(The referee turns around and races over.... he counts!!)

Nikki: Thank God! One.......... TWO........ NO! NO NO NO!!! FLYER KICKS OUT!!! FLYER ESCAPES JUST MOMENTS BEFORE THE END!!! GOOD LORD, WAS THAT CLOSE!!! CLOSER THAN WHEN DONNIE DAZE PULLED... never mind.

(JT is stumbling off towards the entranceway! GP IS RIGHT AFTER HIM!!)

Nikki: Um... that can't be good for the rest of the night. Spaz is incredulous... Flyer has been down since early on in this match... how the DICKENS did he escape? Davis is just now getting to his feet... he notices
that Sullivan is still down from his Equalizer! HE COVERS!!! ONE.....! SULLIVAN IS AWAKE AGAIN!!! Davis slams his fists on the mat... he cannot be happy. He had a chance to pin him, but Spaz ruined it... he hesitated
before pinning him again. Flyer is slowly getting to his feet... Spaz goes and kicks him in the abs, and Flyer RUSHES at him with a clothesline, bringing both down! Davis meanwhilst, grabs Sullivan by the head and tosses him into the corner!

(HERE COMES JT AGAIN!!! HE IS RUNNING FROM GP, WHO HAS A TRASH CAN!!! THEY RUN INTO THE RING!!)

Nikki:Oh, geez, NOW WHAT?!

(GP SWINGS AT JT WITH THE CAN!! JT RUSHES OUT, AND GP HITS DAVIS!!! DAVIS IS DOWN!!!)

Nikki: THAT'S A DQ!!! THAT'S A DQ!!! Wow... did I just say something revelant to wrestling that is beyond calling moves? WOW!

(The ref does not count this DQ, however... Spaz goes and covers Davis.)

CROWD: ONE......... TWO...... THREE!!!

*DING DING DING*

Nikki: WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!! All thanks to... Greg Parker?

(The referee goes and grabs the World tag team titles... and Spaz grabs them. He raises them in the air, as their music begins to play. "Hail to the Chief" suddenly replaces it, and OUT COMES COMMISH TOM!!!!)

Commish Tom: Ladies and gentlemen... this is a sanctioned IWO title match.... and in the rules, it states that if a wrestler or manager interferes in ANY form, including hitting people with trash cans, that constitutes a disqualification! And the title CANNOT change hands on a DQ!

(The crowd cheers. V.I.A.G.R.A. will recieve the titles back!)

Commish Tom: HOWEVER... in this certain case, it was not a wrestler, NOR a manager that interfered in the match. It was in fact, an announcer. THEREFORE, YOUR NEW IWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE SPAZ EVENT!!!

("Twist of Cain" by Danzing plays again as Spaz jumps up and down with the titles.)

Nikki: THIS IS BULL!!! How can this happen!

(Davis and Flyer are getting to their feet... they're in disbelief of what has just occured. Steve Sullivan is handed a title belt by Spaz, and the two of them raise their arms in victory.)

Winners - The Spaz Event, new Tag Team Champions

(Commish Tom stands at the bottom of the entranceway, smiling. He has managed to do what John nor Evan could do... and that was get the titles away from Team V.I.A.G.R.A., and finding a new team to carry the divison.)

Nikki: I don't believe this.... GREG, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!! YOU'VE SCREWED TWO CHAMPIONS OUT OF THEIR TITLES!!!

(GP turns around and notices the Spaz Event holding the titles. He is shocked.)

GP: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Nikki: YOU DID, YOU STONED MORON!!!

("Pomp & Circumstance" plays as out walks...)

Nikki: Who is this?

(GP returns to his position... apparently, the high has ended.)

GP: Oh, what the FUCK happened.... IT'S PRESIDENT JAMIE!!!!

Nikki: Jamie?

GP: HERE COMES THE PREZ OF THE FED!!! HE PUSHES COMMISH TOM OUT OF THE WAY, AND HE'S GETTING IN THE RING!! HE GRABS THE BELTS FROM THE SPAZ EVENT!!! Spaz turns around, AND HE'S GOING TO HIT JAMIE!!! WOAH WOAH WOAH, no he isn't! He doesn't want to lose his job!

(Jamie orders a mic. The timekeeper tosses one to him.)

Prez Jamie: Commissioner Tom... exactly, WHAT are you doing?

Commish Tom: I'm finally moving those tag titles around, Jamie... WE DON'T NEED A THIRD VERSION OF HOSTILE YOUTH!!!

Prez Jamie: In your eyes, no... BUT IN THE EYES OF THE FANS...

(The crowd is chanting "VIAGRA rules! VIAGRA rules!", which is kind of scary... I mean, they're not all old men who can't get it up anymore.)

Prez Jamie: YES, we do! But... I'm not saying anything towards the Spaz Event... but, this is my choice -- and NO ONE overruns my choice, since... well, I'M THE BOSS!!! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of
all ages... THIS MATCH CONTINUES!

(The crowd just blows the roof off with that announcement. Jamie smiles.)

Prez Jamie: Now, HIT THAT MUSIC!!!

("Pomp & Circumstance" plays as Jamie exits the ring... Tom follows him, trying to argue his point.)

GP: Well, well, well.

*DING DING DING*

(JT sits down. He's over his hangover, apparently, as well as his high.)

JT: Titties!

(He's DEFINITELY over his hangover.)

GP: The Spaz Event attacks V.I.A.G.R.A. with a pair of forearms, as this match begins!

Nikki: It's a good thing that you got over that high, Greg... doing play-by-play's very hard.

JT: I always figured you liked hard things.

*SMACK!*

Nikki: Frankly, I liked him when he was tripping.

GP: Sullivan tosses Davis through the ropes to the arena floor! Flyer, meanwhile, in the ring, dodges a punch by Spaz and drops him with a back suplex!! Davis gets tossed into a barricade, but he springs out with a lariat, taking Sullivan's head off!

JT: Head.... off.... heh heh.

Nikki: Okay, that's disgusting.

GP: Yes, it is. (Head aches) OW! Man, this stuff hurts after a while! Sullivan gets tossed back in by Davis... Flyer grabs Spaz by the back of his pants, and Davis tosses Sullivan into the corner! Spaz now on his feet, thanks to Flyer... High Flyer goes to the opposite corner of Sullivan, and throws Spaz towards Sullivan! Sullivan hops over Spaz, but Spaz gets a belly-to-belly for his troubles! Sullivan stops in the middle, getting away from High Flyer as quickly as possible!

JT: Who blames him?

GP: Sullivan turns around... he's trapped! Davis on one side, Flyer on the other... they both charge, and... SULLIVAN JUMPS UP!!! DAVIS SPEARED FLYER!! DAVIS JUST SPEARED HIS OWN PARTNER!! SPAZ IS CLIMBING UP TOP, DAVIS CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT HE HAS JUST DONE! SPAZ IS KEEPING HIMSELF BALANCED... HE HITS A ONE-MAN EVENT HORIZION!!!! DAVIS IS DOWN, AND HE COVERS!!! ONE.....
TWO..... WHAT THE HELL?!! STEVE SULLIVAN DOVE FROM THE TOP!!! HE HIT A MOONSAULT ON
HIS OWN PARTNER!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!! BOTH TEAMS SCREWED UP THEIR RESPECTIVE CHANCES AT WINNING!!! Sullivan checking his partner out.... Davis rolls onto his back, SCHOOLBOY!! ONE... TWO... NO! Sullivan with the kick out.

JT: You think Davis giggles like a schoolboy?

GP: That was utter crap, JT.

JT: Shut up.

GP: Make me. Flyer on his feet again, so is Spaz! Spaz drops himself on top of Davis, and a CROSSFACE!! Spaz is going to make Davis tap out with a Canadian Crossface!! HE HAS IT LOCKED IN TIGHT... THIS COULD BE IT... THIS COULD BE IT... FLYER HITS THE FLYING MOON SHOT ON SPAZ!!!

JT: Huh?

GP: FROM NOWHERE!!! FLYER JUST LANDED HIS FINISHER ON SPAZ!! EVERYONE IS DOWN, AND FLYER IS CRAWLING TOWARDS THE FALLEN SPAZ!!! HE IS INCHING HIS WAY.... HE TURNS SPAZ OVER, COVER!!

Crowd: ONE............. TWO..........

GP: ...... NO!!! STEVE SULLVAN HITS A DROPKICK INTO FLYER'S FACE!!! SO VERY VERY CLOSE!!! SO VERY CLOSE!! THIS IS ONE DAMNED CRAZY MATCH!! Damn damn damn!

JT: In a cursing mood?

GP: SHUT UP!! FLYER HOLDING HIS SKULL, SULLVIAN HOPS OVER HIS PARTNER AND ROLLS UP FLYER'S LEGS!! ONE.... TWO.... FLYER KICKS OUT!! FLYER KICKS OUT! SULLIVAN DOESN'T STOP, THOUGH!! Rolls him up again.... ONE.... TWO.... FLYER KICKS OUT AGAIN!! DAVIS ON HIS FEET, HE COVERS SPAZ!!! ONE.... TWO... SULLIVAN IS ONLY INCHES AWAY, AND KICKS DAVIS IN THE HEAD!!!!

JT: Well, this has gone nuts.

Nikki: Are you two talking about nuts?

JT: If so, we would've talked to you. We know you've been up to all kinds...

*SMACK!*

JT: I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE EDIBLE ONES!!!

Nikki: Oh.

GP: Yeesh... Both teams heading to nuetral corners to get their breath back. This match has been quick paced as any we've seen in the IWO... all four are resting up.

(Suddenly, some random sounds and scene's pop up on the screen with loud, annoying music accompanying it. Everyone turns and looks at it, and ten seconds later, it stops. The Spaz Event are looking at the screen with puzzled looks on their faces.)

GP: What was that... VIAGRA ROLLS UP THE SPAZ EVENT!!! ONE.... TWO.... NO!! DOUBLE KICK-OUT! SULLIVAN ROLLS ON TOP OF HIGH FLYER, AND WE'RE BACK TO BRAWLING!! DAVIS WHACKS SPAZ ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH HIS FIST, SPAZ WITH A FIST BACK!!! THE REFEREE ONCE AGAIN HAS LOST ALL CONTROL OVER THE PARTICIPANTS IN THIS MATCHUP!!

JT:Davis clocks Spaz out of the ring, as he follows... Sullivan has Flyer, and whips him off the ropes, but he knocks the referee out of the ring!

Nikki:Dear god! There's no referee! Davis is sent into the steel steps down around the ringside floor! Spaz is pounding away at him, as Sullivan just nailed Flyer with the spear! Although it wasn't off the top, it still had the effect, as High Flyer is down and out...

(Some cheesy Porno music cues up, as the fans are immediatly intrigued.)

GP:What in GOD'S name is this!

JT:Greg, just calm down one second.

Nikki:Sullivan should be the tag team champion! He should have the belts! The fans are booing like crazy, as Sullivan gets off the cover of Flyer...

(All of a sudden, the fans let out a burst of cheers, as Sullivan recieves a boot to the face.)

GP:OH MY GOD! FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT! FACE LIFT! HOW IN THE HELL!

JT:DANE WILT! DANE WILT! HE JUST SUPERKICKED STEVE SULLIVAN SQUARE IN THE JAW! HE JUST KNOCKED SULLIVAN OUT OF HIS BOOTS!

Nikki:I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IS THIS ONE OF THE TRAINERS?!?!

GP:SPAZ IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON... WAIT!!!! It's Chris Anthony! He turns Spaz around... CA'S WILD RIDE! WILD RIDE TO SPAZ!

JT:WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON!

GP:WILT DRAGS FLYER ON TOP OF SULLIVAN, ANTHONY WAKES UP THE REFEREE, THE COUNT!

.........1........................2.........................3!

Nikki:DEAR GOD! Team V.I.A.G.R.A. has done it! They have defeated the Spaz Event, and have brought back two of the most controversal members of IWO History!

Meygon:You're winners, and STILL... IWO Tag Team champions... Tony Davis, High Flyer... Team V.I.A.G.R.A.

GP:Dear god! When you thought Team V.I.A.G.R.A. could no longer shock you, they proved you wrong! Wilt is carrying Flyer out of the ring, as Anthony helps Davis to the backstage area!

JT:Those tag team titles deserve to be in the hands of the Spaz Event! Not Team V.I.A.G.R.A.!

GP:For some reason JT, I just don't think that this is the end of the Spaz Event's title glory.

JT:I can't believe it... Dane Wilt is back from Porno...

GP:I doubt he'll wrestle JT, he retired last spring...

JT:Yeah, that's what Zombie said the first sixteen times...

Nikki:I'm still in shock...

North American Title Match
LiGiL -c- vs. Syphon Fission vs. Aaron Kain

{White Zombie's I am your Boogie man starts to play as Syphon Fission and LiGiL make their way to the ring. They cut off Nikki and GP's ranting about the last match.}

GP: Here we go, this next match is for the North American title!

JT: Yes, Syphon Fission and LiGiL take on that low life, Aaron Kain.

Nikki: This match should be interesting. And, oh- Syphon's got a mic.

Syphon Fission: Tonight, my boy LiGiL and I will take out Aaron Kain.Then, one of us will be the North American Champion.

{The crowd strats to boo, as Fission hands the mic to LiGiL.}

LiGiL: Ah, yes.. I can smell victory in the air. I will retain my title, or maybe lose it to Fission. But it WILL stay in the stable either way. If I feel nice enough to-

{LiGiL is cut off by Nos's Undying love as Aaron Kain and MDK step through the curtains. Aaron has a mic. He begins to walks down the ramp as he speaks.}

Aaron Kain: I don't think so. You two are just are just begging for an ass whooping!

{Kain runs into the ring and struts to punch away at the body of Syphon Fission.}

**DING DING DING**

GP: And were off! Kain's still punching away at Syphon Fission, but LiGiL just nailed him in the back of the head!

JT: Say, Nikki, I noticed you were wearing black underwear.

Nikki: So?

JT: Wearing black underwear means you want to have sex!

Nikki: Maybe I do...

JT: YES! My place, after Autumn in Hell, be there.

Nikki: I don't want to have sex with you!

JT: Well, who then?

Nikki: Lets just say Meygon gave the person that I want to do-over head earlier tonight.

JT: Damn!

GP: Will you two please concentrate on the match? LiGiL and Syphon Fission have been doubleteeming Aaron Kain.

JT: Rock on!

GP: It's unfiar! You shouldn't be rocking on about it!

JT: But it's cool! LiGiL will definitely retain the title!

GP: Nevermind JT, you don't get. Another doubleteam by Fission and LiGiL! LiGiL is laughing!

{Suddenly, Hail to the chief starts to play as Commissioner Thomas Ford walks down to ringside with a mic.}

Tom: LiGiL, Fission, you two better start fighting each other or I will take that title and give it to Kain!

GP: Yes! Finally, some justice around here!

Nikki: Look Greg, Tom's coming to join us.

{Tom sitis down next to JT.}

JT: Hey Tom! I love that stipulation you just made!

Nikki: Ass-Kisser.

Tom: Why thanks you JT.

GP: Yeah, it was a good thing to do. I can't stand Levine's boys, thinking they are all hot.

Tom: Exactly, now look- LiGiL and Fission have to fight each other. This is great!

GP: Aaron Kain with an inverted DDT to LiGiL. And- OH! Fission with a clothesline to Kain, and the cover.

*1*

*2*

*Kickout*

JT: Did you see that Tom?

Tom: Yes I did.

GP: LiGiL is still down from that DDT, but Fission is picking up Kain. He swings him into the ropes, sets us for the headbut, but-OH Bulldog by Aaron Kain!

Nikki: Aaron's climbing the Turnbuckle, and- He just leapt off!

GP: He landed the splash on both Syphon Fission and LiGiL. He's got the cover on both of them!

1

2

Thri!

GP: What the?! The camera man just broke up the count!

JT: The cameraman?!

Tom: Cameraman my ass!

Nikki: Tom, where are you going?

Tom: To see something...

GP: Well, the ref is yelling at the cameraman who is wearing an IWO hat, but. OH MY! The commissioner, with a DDT to the cameraman!

JT: He's taking of his hat!

GP: It's Evan Levine! The cameraman is Evan Levine!

Nikki: Evan gets up and begins yelling at Commish Ford, as Ford threatens Evan with suspension!

JT:This match still continues in the ring!

Nikki: That just goes to show you JT, Tom means business. I mean, LiGiL and Fission already have the upper-hand. Then Evan Levine comes down here and beats up on Kain.

GP: That's true Nikki, all three men are lying on the ground. Whoever gets up now will have the upper hand.

JT: YES! LiGiL is struggling to his feet, followed by Syphon Fission!

GP: Well, remember what Tom said... They can't doubleteam Kain or the title will be givin to Kain.

JT: They can still semi-work together!

{Syphon walks by LiGiL, an accidentially shoves him.}

LiGiL: Hey! What's that for!

Syphon Fission: Sorry man-

LiGiL: NO! You botch! You plotting on me?

{LiGiL shoves Sphyon Fission and the two start to exchange punches.}

GP: OH MY GOD! LiGiL and Syphon Fission are beating each other down!

JT: NO! Damn!

Nikki: DDT by LiGiL to Fission!

GP: The North American Champion is stomping away at the head of his stablemate!

Nikki: I don't think he noticed Aaron Kain in the corner.

JT: AHH! Kain with a dropkick to LiGiL!

Nikki: Aaron Kain is dominating Syphon Fission after a short repreval!

GP: Superkick to Syphon Fission by Aaron Kain!

JTL: NO!

GP: Aaron is climbing the turnbuckle, Magestic Light! Magestic Light to LiGiL!

Nikki: He's got LiGiL in a cover!

1

2

3!!

GP: He's done it! The brother of Nicholas Kain has defeated LiGiL and has won the North American Title!

JT: I can't believe LiGiL lost! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Main Event
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Once Friends, seperated by Gold and Fem Fetales...
Rob Kestler -c- w/Evan Levine & Cassie vs. Psycho Jay w/ Chris Davidson and Vincent

GP:Oh boy, is this ever going to be historic.

JT:All IWO Pay Per View Main events are Greg. Two best friends going at it. Two people who drug themselves up from the gutter of the IWO ranks together, now fight each other for the biggest prize in the game.

GP:Regardless of the fact that this is a match between two former best friends, this match is also for the IWO World Heavyweight Championship, the most prestigious belt in the world of professional wrestling!

Nikki:These two controversly became the tag team championship for a short period of time, until that decision was reversed by the executive board on a Monday Night Meltdown. Chris Davidson provided a Disqualification, as now, Davidson is a peace loving hippie, ready to help Jay out in any way he can, as long as no one gets hurt.

GP:Nikki, you don't realize how many subplots there are. I mean... they're gloating over who's the best candyland player. I think it's just something you have to watch and enjoy. You can't analize this match, or any match with Rob Kestler. Let's just watch...

Meygon:This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IWO World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, from Philadelphia, PA. He is a former IWO World Heavyweight Champion, and defeated such greats as Ashton Cain, Michael Dudley, and numerous others. Accompanied to the ring by the foul mouthed Vincent, and the peace loving Chris Davidson... here is the challenger, Psycho Jay!

("Divine" by KoRn plays over the pa system as Psycho Jay walks out from the back. Chris Davidson follows him, waving a white flag of surrender. Vincent grabs the white flag and tears it to pieces.)

Vincent:MOTHER FUCKING PEACE LOVING BASTARD!

Chris Davidson:Oh boy does your aura need cleansing...

Psycho Jay:Will you two be quiet for just ONE Minute!

(Psycho Jay continues his way down the ring, and slides in. He climbs to his feet, and perches himself up in the corner.)

GP:Jay seems to be all business. Usually between these two it's all fun and games, but lately, Cassie has been interjecting herself into this relationship, causing one of those crazy love triangles.

JT:Jay doesn't love Cassie!

Nikki:What he means is that Cassie is a wedge between Jay and Rob's friendship, but Jay doesn't want to get rid of Cassie because that would hurt Rob too much.

Meygon:And his opponent, he is the current World Heavyweight Champion, defeating nine other men at Mall Brawl 2000. He is the master of the Call from Beyond, not to meantion his notorous blank look. He is accompanied to the ring by Cassie, and Evan Levine. Here is the current IWO World Heavyweight Champion, ROB KESTLER!!!

("Stayin' Alive" as preformed by Ozzy Osbourne begins to play over the pa system as Rob Kestler walks out from the back, clutching Cassie inside a death grip. Evan Levine and Midget Hitler/CGI God Jamie walks out from the back behind Kestler. They all make their way to the ring.)

GP:Dear god! It's like a lumberjack match!

JT:There's like, 10 people surrounding the ring! This is SO going to be chaotic it's not even funny!

GP:The referee has already lost control of the matchup and it hasn't even started!

("Hail to the Chief" plays up over the pa system as out from the back walks Commish Ford. He has a microphone in hand, as he stops at the entranceway.)

Commish Ford:You know what, these fans don't want to see a lumberjack match, these fans want to see a bloodbath, so, you know what, I want EVERYONE backstage now! I don't want to see Evan out here. I don't want to see Davidson out here, and I don't even want to see Vincent out here, whether he has a manager's license or not. No one is allowed at ringside, and if they do come to ringside, they SHALL be fined indefinitly!

GP:Woah! What a huge ruling! Ford is trying to make this into a one on one matchup!

JT:Where's Vice President Evan when you need him!

GP:I don't think he's coming back JT.

(The wrestlers and managers ringside begin to fall to the back. Cassie tries to convince Ford elsewise, but Ford just shys her off, and sends her to the back.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:And here we go! IWO World Heavyweight Title Match, two best friends going for the gold. Jay and Kestler, circling one another. They tie up in the middle of the ring, Kestler hooking Jay into an Arm bar. Jay pushes Kestler into the ropes, and sends him out. Kestler charges back, ducks under a clothesline. Kestler drops back and hooks the top rope, causing him to stop, as he kicks Jay square in the midsection, and nails Jay with a huge DDT.

Nikki:Kestler grabs Jay up off the mat, and sends him square into a corner. Kestler with a huge chop to Jay's sternum, as Jay turns it around himself, and he just TEED OFF on Kestler's chest! Dear god!

GP:Jay grabs Kestler, and whips him into the other corner. Jay drops down into a three point stance, and charges towards Kestler. Kestler sidesteps Jay, as Jay goes flying into the corner. Kestler grabs him with a go behind waistlock, and pulls him over in a german suplex! Kestler rolls over for a cover... 1-2-NO! Jay with a kickout!

Nikki:Kestler waits for Jay to come up, as Kestler charges with a clothesline. Jay catches Kestler's arm, and nails Kestler with a huge single arm ddt!

GP:Jay turns Kestler over and covers him, 1-2-NO! Kestler grabs the bottom rope.

JT:It doesn't really seem that either man is really truely harboring the friendship feelings as of yet.

GP:This match IS for the biggest prize in the game, the IWO World Championship. Friendships are thrown out the window...

Nikki:That's easy to say Greg, but when you're in there with your best friend...

JT:Jay is firing away with right hands to Kestler, as Jay grabs him in a waist lock, and flips him over in a belly to belly suplex.

GP:Jay grabs Kestler in a dragon sleeper, as he's wrenching it in even further. Maybe he's going to make Kestler pass out, since I don't think Jay really wants to superbomb his best friend... whether he is under control of Cassie or not...

Nikki:Kestler is trying to power his way out of it, and now he is standing on his feet! Jay is on his shoulders, and Kestler falls forward, driving Jay into the mat backfirst!

GP:What a slam by Kestler, Kestler rolls over and hooks the leg, 1-2-no! Jay gets a shoulder up. Kestler can't believe it.

JT:Kestler can't believe anything...

Nikki:That's not true! I told him that water floats when it's cold outside and he believed me...

JT:Okay... Kestler believes everything.

GP:Jay grabs Kestler from behind in a half full nelson, trying to hook it into a complete full nelson, but Kestler ducks down and goes behind Jay. Kestler hooks Jay up in a inverted headlock, and drops Jay down to the mat with an inverted ddt.

Nikki:What in god's name is Rob Kestler doing?

GP:Well, Kestler is climbing out of the ring after that inverted ddt, as he is digging underneath the ring for something. Kestler brings out... is that a Rubber Chicken?

JT:It's a rubber Chicken! Yes!

GP:Jay catches Kestler with a huge baseball slide, sending Kestler to the outside, and straight into the guardrail. Kestler whinces in pain as Jay catches Kestler with a huge european uppercut.

Nikki:Jay whips Kell into the steel ring post...

JT:DISQUALIFICATION! COME ON REFEREE! DO THE RIGHT THING!

GP:JT, would you really want to see a Main Event of one of the biggest pay per view's end in a disqualification!

JT:Do you want Psycho Jay to constantly cheat... LOOK! THERE HE GOES AGAIN!

Nikki:Jay just whipped Kestler into the elevated ring platform, as Kestler is doubled down in a corner. Jay charges and misses a shoulder block that would have crushed Kestler's ribs!

GP:Kestler grabs Jay by the hair and throws him down on the mats on the outside. He's climbing up that platform, and leaps! Diving Elbow into the heart of Psycho Jay! He just drove that elbow RIGHT into the sternum of Jay, and you can see Jay's breath come out of him as he did it!

JT:Come on referee! Just count it!

GP:He's not going to count a fall outside of the ring, but this referee won't count these two out. He's trying to urge them into this ring, but he knows that if he counts them out in the main event of a world title match, that Jamie will get rather upset.

Nikki:Upset? He'd flip!

GP:Kestler grabs Jay, and throws him right into the ring. Kestler follows in as well, as Jay catches him with a couple right hands. Jay grabs Kestler by the arm and the head, and tries to flip him over in a head and arm suplex fashion, but Kestler will have none of it.

JT:Haha! Kestler pokes Jay in his eyes, Jay stumbles back, as Kestler grabs Jay... Double Underhook, he lifts him...

(Kestler goes for the Call from Beyond, but sets Jay back down to the mat.)

GP:What just happened?

Nikki:I... I don't know.

JT:Kestler had the match won! What a braindead idiot!

GP:I think he couldn't bear to hit the Call From Beyond onto his best friend Psycho Jay!

Nikki:Kestler is just lying in the middle of the ring, confused as ever. Jay gets to his feet and catches Kestler with a double leg takedown. Jay with a cover on a confused Kestler, 1-2-NO! Kestler barely gets a shoulder up...

JT:I think Kestler is just reacting to a bright light in the crowd...

GP:Whatever the case, Jay now has the advantage, as he chops Kestler into the corner. Jay grabs Kestler and whips him off the ropes, Kestler tries to duck under a clothesline but just collides with Jay. Jay, expecting a collision, stays on his feet as Kestler falls down to the mat.

Nikki:Jay grabs Kestler off the mat and begins to hammer him with rights. Jay catches Kestler in a side headlock, wrenching it in even further. Kestler immediatly backs into the ropes, and sends Jay off. Jay comes back, nails Kestler with a huge flying double forearm!

GP:Kestler falls down to the mat, as Jay grabs Kestler off. Jay hooks Kestler for a DDT, but Kestler lifts Jay off the mat, straight up into the air. Jay goes it it, and comes down back behind Kestler, nailing Kestler with a huge neckbreaker!

JT:What was like a flipover neckbreaker!

Nikki:Jay is a very smart man. He knows the ropes of the rings very well...

JT:That looked more like a move...

(Slight pause)

*Smack*

Nikki:Oooooh! That was a good one!

GP:Jay is back up to his feet, as he's awaiting the recovering Kestler. Kestler turns around, right into a jawbreaker by Psycho Jay. Kestler bounces up, stumbles around some more, and is nailed with a huge double arm ddt!

JT:You think I would be immune to it by now, but that hurt like a bitch... just like Nikki...

*Smack*

GP:Kestler's head just bounced off the ring canvas...

Nikki:You never learn. You NEVER EVER learn.

GP:Kestler is holding his head as Jay begins to choke him in the corner. Jay grabs Kestler up, and sets him up top. Jay goes outside, and he's climbing up himself...

JT:COULD IT BE THE SUPERBOWL!

Nikki:That's Bomb JT...

JT:That's what I said!

GP:Jay is up top, he has Kestler in perfect position, but...

JT:JUST DO IT! JUST HIT HIM WITH THE SUPERBOMB!

GP:Kestler catches Jay and nails him with a belly to belly off the second rope! Both men crash down hard into the mat!

Ref:1...........2.........

JT:You know the referee won't count both of these men down, not to meantion the fact that this match is just begining. We still have a good twenty minutes to kill on our ppv time!

GP:JT!

Ref:3..............4.........

Nikki:Jay is getting to his feet, and he's up to his knees. Wait..

(Cassie show running down to ringside, she goes over to Kestler, and she begins to help Kestler to his feet.)

GP:Cassie can't be out here! Commish Ford said a no go for managers!

JT:I never noticed how large Cassie's breasts are!

*Smack*

Nikki:That was for every women all around the world you sick pervert.

GP:Kestler is up to his feet, and a wild right swing at Jay is ducked. Jay grabs Kestler's neck, and drops him down in a huge neckbreaker!

JT:Kestler uses the ropes and gets to his feet. Jay goes for a kick to Kestler, but Kestler catches it. Kestler turns him around, a kick to the gut of Jay... sets him up... He has him in position for the Call from Beyond.. but he can't do it!

GP:Cassie gets on the apron and starts to yell something to Kestler.... DEAR GOD! HE JUST NAILED CALL FROM BEYOND! CALL FROM BEYOND! DEAR GOD! NO REMORSE FROM KESTLER NOW!

Nikki:Kestler just destroyed Psycho Jay in the middle of the ring! This match is over! That wasn't a normal Call from Beyond, that was one with a HUGE exclamation point on at the end!

(Vincent all of a sudden races out from the back, and pratically throws Cassie off the apron. Kestler looks over and sees Cassie down. Kestler is shocked as Vincent starts to scream.)

Vincent:GOD DAMN IT YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER, YOU DON'T NEED SOME MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ASS CUNT WHORE RUINING YOUR SHIT HOLE LIFE! GET YOUR FUCKEN HEAD ON YOUR FUCKEN SHOULDERS YOU FUCKING REJECT!

GP:Kestlers takes a swing towards Vincent! Vincent ducks out of the way and drops down off the apron. Jay is slowly getting up from the Call From Beyond... Kestler turns around, kick to the gut! He's going to hit it again! No! Jay picks Kestler up from that position, as Kestler is just hanging on down his back...

(Jay drops down, driving Kestler's head into the mat since Kestler was facing down head first on Jay's back.)

JT:OH MY GOD! Kestler's neck could be broken! Kestler broke McFarlane's neck earlier in the evening, and now Jay may have just broke Kestler's neck!

Nikki:Jay can't believe what he's done... Chris Davidson is back out here! What in god's name!

GP:Davidson is pleeing with Jay. He's trying to tell Jay to stop this carnage... that no more blood must be shed!

JT:Jay is having none of that, but he can't believe he just laid out Rob Kestler! If he wasn't so idiotic, he could be world Champion right now!

GP:Jay can't believe it... he covers Kestler! 1-2-NO! Kestler was playing possum! He rolls Jay over himself, 1-2-3! ROB KESTLER DID IT!

JT:WHAT?!?

Nikki:GREG! Jay's arm was on the rope! His arm was on the rope!

("Staying Alive" as Preformed by Ozzy Osbourne cues up, but is cut off by "Hail to the Chief." Commish Ford walks out... yet again.)

Commish Ford:NO! NO WAY! That's not how it's going down! Davidson, Vincent, Cassie, you all better head to the back RIGHT NOW before I fire EACH AND EVERYONE ONE OF YOU! Jay, you're hand was on the ropes, and you don't deserve to lose. NO! No screw job on my pay per view watch! Referee, you better restart this match, ring that bell, or else you'll be looking for another job!

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:Kestler and Jay are back to their feet, brawling. Right hands are being sent way by both men. Kestler gains the advantage, and sends Jay off the ropes. Kestler catches Jay with a huge spinebuster slam right into the mat! Jay clutches his back, as Kestler gets to his feet...

JT:No.. Don't tell me.. NOT THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW FROM ROB KESTLER! NO!

(Kestler goes over to a corner and grabs a rubber chicken. He picks it up, and kicks Jay's arms in. Kestler runs off the ropes, but trips and falls down.)

JT:HAHA!

GP:Kestler back to his feet... runs off the ropes... HE NAILED IT! Is that the Chicken Elbow?!?!

JT:I don't know but it's freaking hillarious!

GP:Kestler with the cover from the Chicken Elbow... 1-2-NO! Jay got a shoulder up! Dear god! Dear god!

Nikki:Kestler grabs Jay and picks him up off the mat...

(We now see Evan Levine, who has made his way down to ringside.)

Evan Levine:ROB! ROB! DO HIM IN! DO HIM IN!

GP:Kestler has Jay, but Jay goes down low! Jay goes down low, and now he's setting himself up top!

JT:Jay with a huge shoulder block! Kestler falls down to the mat. Jay with a cover, 1-2-NO!

Nikki:Kestler won't fall down with a shoulder block alone! Jay picks up Kestler, side headlock, going for a ddt, but Jay goes to go for an twist of fate! NO! Kestler grabs Jay onto his shoulders, and NAILS him with a HUGE DVD! Jay is down and out!

GP:Kestler picks up Jay, and sets him up on his shoulders once more... SOMOAN DROP, square into the ring!

Nikki:Jay is down, Kestler is down! This match has definitly taken it's toll on both men, but this match has been rather mundane compared to the rest of the matches this night!

GP:Well, this match hasn't had some crazy stipulation. This is a straight World Title Matchup!

JT:Kestler grabs Jay, but Jay out of desperation sends Kestler flying through the ropes and to the outside.

Nikki:Smart move by Jay, get Kestler out of the ring. I'm not sure how good Kestler is outside the ring...

GP:Jay grabs Kestler and sends him into our announce table! Come on guys! We haven't had problems all night!

JT:Jay and Kestler are hammering for position... Jay kicks Kestler in the gut.... HUGE POWERBOMB! DEAR GOD! RIGHT THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE! DEAR GOD! MY BEER! IT'S SPILLED!

Nikki:JT'S APPLEJUICE IS SPILLED BECAUSE OF JAY AND KESTLER, AND WE DON'T HAVE AN ANNOUNCE TABLE!

GP:Both men are down on the outside, as the referee is trying to revive both men! Jay is hurting, Kestler is down, dear god!

JT:Jay is starting to stir, he's looking around our announce booth...

(Jay picks up JT's apple juice and throws it into his face.)

JT:STOP SPILLING MY BEER!

(Jay flicks Jay off, as Kestler catches Jay from behind. Kestler begins to choke Jay with a wire from the announce booth.)

GP:Kestler is choking the daylights out of Jay! Psycho Jay is fading fast.

Nikki:The referee is trying bitterly to get Kestler off of Jay, but Kestler is trying to keep his shiny gold belt.

JT:I wonder what Cassie said to him, because ever since then, he's seemed to have no remorse to Jay.

GP:Kestler drops Jay down to the ground on the outside of the ring. Kestler goes over to our time keeper, and he eyes the world title...

Nikki:Jay is getting to his feet... RUNNING FACE BUSTER! Kestler's head just bounced off that announce table and RIGHT off the belt!

GP:Kestler is stumbling around, Jay has a chair, but Evan Levine takes it right out of his hands!

JT:LEVINE JUST COLD CLOCKED PSYCHO JAY! DEAR GOD!

Nikki:LEVINE WANTS KESTLER TO KEEP THE TITLE! AT ALL COSTS!

GP:Kestler grabs Jay, and throws him into the ring! Kestler dives on top for a cover.......

(The referee is shown refusing to count.)

JT:COUNT YOU IDIOT! THAT'S YOUR JOB!

Nikki:The referee won't count! He won't count for a pin after a chair shot!

GP:Levine is in the face of this referee! Levine is telling the referee to head to the back! He's taking the referee's shirt!

Nikki:HE CAN'T DO THAT!!! THAT'S NOT IN THE RULEBOOK!

GP:I don't think Evan Levine really cares all that much. I really don't. Levine is helping Kestler back on top of Psycho Jay... 1-2-NO! Jay with a kickout out of a DEFINITE fast count!

JT:Kestler is looking at Evan rather strangely... and look! It's Commish Tom with the Referee that was out here earlier!

Nikki:Evan jumps out of the ring and races out of the arena. Kestler is rather strangly looking at Evan flying through the crowd.

(The referee climbs back into the ring as Jay is out of the current picture.)

GP:Kestler turns around...

JT: WHOA MAN! Did you see that!?!? Psycho Jay just took Kestlers head off with a leaping Lariot off the ropes! Both these men are running out of steam now!

GP: Your right there JT. Jay now lifting Rob Kestler, the champion, up by his hair, he lifts him up into a bodyslam, OH! But Kestler drops down Jay's back and to one knee! LOW BLOW!

JT: HE SMASHED JAY'S GIBLETS!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Nikki: He won't be having any fun any time soon if you know what I mean.

JT: Shut up you fuckin Nympho.

Nikki: What was that?

GP: Anyway, we're still going here folks and Rob Kestler now has the upper hand. This has been one hell of a match. Kestler throws Jay off of the ropes and hits him with a knee lift! And Psycho Jay hits the mat hard.
Kestler lifts Jay up!

JT: HE'S CALLIN' FOR IT! THE CALL FROM BEYOND (Double Underhook Suplex) THIS COULD BE IT!!! THIS COULD BE IT!!!

GP: Wait....the lights just went out!

::The lights throughout the building shut off suddenly. Rob Kestler drops Psycho Jay and begins looking around. The lights return on to a dim gray as a familiar bass line begins to play. The fans explode on a moments notice at the sound as "Sober" by TOOL rings throughout the arena. Cut to a camera close up of Kestler in the ring, eyes wide. Outside the ring Evan Levine is going crazy, pulling at his hair. Appearing on the rampway as the
howling guitar solo begins...we see a man who has been gone for some time. "The Legend" Phelen Kell, in full wrestling garb.::

GP: OH MY GOD! MY GOD ITS PHELEN KELL! PHELEN KELL IS BACK! PHELEN KELL IS BACK! "THE LEGEND" HAS RETURNED!!!

JT: NO! NO! NO!

Nikki: HE IS SO HOT!

JT: SHUT UP YOU WHORE!

GP: HE'S COMING DOWN TO THE RING! HE'S JUST WALKING CALMLY DOWN TO THE RING! KESTLER IS JUST STARRING AT HIM!

JT: HERE COME THE CENTRAL POWERS! SYPHON FISSION SWINGS AT KELL! KELL DUCKS! A RIGHT! A LEFT! ANOTHER RIGHT! SYPHON FISSION GOES DOWN!

GP: LIGIL ATTACKS FROM BEHIND! KELL SWINGS AROUND WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK! LIGIL GOES DOWN! THIS IS INSANE! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!

JT: THIS SUCKS GIANT ASS! DAMN YOU KELL! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY RETIRED!?!?!

GP: HERE COME THE PRIME TIME SOLDIERS NOW! SCOTT STONE SWINGS A MIGHTY FIST! KELL BLOCKS IT AND KICKS STONE IN THE STOMACH! HE GRABS HIM BY THE HAIR AND THROWS HIM INTO THE GUARD RAIL! NOW TYLER JOHNSON COMES FROM BEHIND AND NAILS KELL ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD! KELL STUMBLES BUT TURNS AROUND AND SPEARS TYLER INTO THE CONCRETE! HE'S POUNDING ON JOHNSONS FACE! PHELEN KELL IS LAYING OUT THE CENTRAL POWERS!!!

JT: KESTLER IS WATCHING IN THE RING! HE'S JUST STARRING!!!

GP: HERE COMES EVAN LEVINE FROM AROUND THE RING! HE HAS A CHAIR! PHELEN DUCKS
A CHAIR SHOT AND STEALS IT OUT OF LEVINES HANDS! HE JUST MASHED IT OVER EVAN LEVINES SKULL!!!! PHELEN STANDS AND LOOKS TO THE RING! KELL AND KESTLER MAKE EYE CONTACT! KELL IS HERE FOR PAY BACK! HE SAW THE CENTRAL POWERS TAKE TRENT OUT AND HE'S HERE FOR THEM!

::A perfect camera angle showing Phelen Kell on the outside of the ring and Rob Kestler on the inside of the ring starring at eachother is on the screen. The fans are still going nuts as "Sober" continues to play. A close up
of Kells face is shown and snaps quickly into the ring as we see Psycho Jay roll Rob Kestler up!::

GP: PSYCHO JAY JUST ROLLED ROB KESTLER UP FOR THE PIN!!! THIS COULD BE IT!

1...........2.........3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP: MY GOD! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! PSYCHO JAY HAS DEFEATED ROB KESTLER!

::Inside the ring as Psycho Jays music "Divine" by Korn begins to play we see a bewildered Rob Kestler sit straight up in the center of the ring. He looks at Phelen Kell who is standing on the outside of the ring looking back at him. Kell mouths something.::

Phelen Kell: An eye....for an eye.

::Kell walks off.::

GP: THIS IS AMAZING! A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! PSYCHO JAY IS THE IWO CHAMPION ONCE MORE! WE HAVE TO GO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! SEE YOU NEXT TIME! FOR NIKKI AND JT, I'M GREG PARKER! THANKS FOR WATCHING!!!

::The scene fades to black as we see Psycho Jay celebrating, holding his IWO World Title.::