November 26th, 2000
World Title Match
Psycho Jay -c- vs. Evan Levine vs. Phelen Kell
North American Title Match
AWS Man vs. Rob Kestler vs. High Flyer
12 Man Major Push Tournament
Winner recieves world title shot within three months and his standing in the company rises dramatically. Of course they must stay consistent however. Each match will also be under a different gimmick, making this even more fun to watch! Also, Wrestlers holding championships inside the tournament will defend them the first round
they are in.
ex:Spaz is the T.v. Champion, he defends it against Mike Extreme the first round. No matter what, whoever comes out, they are the t.v. champion for good. The belt is only defended in the first round, not in each round thereafter.
First Round Byes:AWS Man(Also Known As Bill), Syphon Fission, Sam Potright, Scott Stone
Mike Extreme vs. Spaz(T.v. -c-)
Billy Ray vs. Phyre
Mike Marchese vs. Schitzo Tod
Dane Matthews vs. Jack Night
?¿? Death Match
?¿? vs. High Flyer
World Tag Team Championship match
Suicide Kings -c- vs. the Prep Kids vs. Sam Potright and Donnie Daze
Dream Tag Team Partners Matchup
Carlos Lopez vs. Shawn Arrows
Fight for Nikki's Love
Ben O'Conner vs. Donnie Daze
United States Title Match
Cyanide -c- vs. Ash Robinson vs. Simon Seaman vs. Kevin Martin vs. ID
(We see none other than the IWO logo slowly fade in and out of the screen, while we hear the familiar heartbeat pulsate throughout the television speakers. This repeats three times as slowly, the logo stays on the screen. Then, a bolt of lightning comes from the sky, erupting the logo into flames...
"Judith" by Perfect Circle blasts through, as we see none other than the Pay Per View flash promo on the screen. Finishing with the main event plastered onto the screen, we slowly see an explosion, as we enter the Corestates Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The fans are screaming like crazy, holding up such signs as "Jamie Kosoy lives here!," "Remember the TITANs," and "I wouldn't fuck with da Shrimp" surround the audience, as the camera pans down to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki standing at the announcers booth. They all have microphones, with JT and Greg Parker wearing black suits, and Nikki wearing a beautiful red dress.)
Greg Parker:FANS! TONIGHT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ONE HELL OF A SHOW! WE'VE GOT A PACKED CARD FOR YOU FOLKS, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH!
JT:UNLIKE LAST YEAR! FOLKS, THIS PAY PER VIEW WILL BE FILLED WITH BLOOD GALORE! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!
GP:THAT'S RIGHT! JT IS SPEAKING OF THE MAJOR PUSH TOURNAMENT, WHICH WILL BE CONTESTED INSIDE DIFFERENT STIPULATION MATCHES! THIS IS A HUGE STIPULATION TOURNAMENT THAT WON'T END UNTIL THERE IS A WINNER!
Nikki:NOT TO MEANTION THE SUICIDE KINGS, IML TAG TEAM LEGENDS WILL TRY TO DEFEND THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST TWO OF THE GREATEST TAG TEAM WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME, JORDAN HOWITT AND RANDAL MCCLOUD, THE PREP KIDS!
JT:THROW IN A FEUDING SAM POTRIGHT AND DONNIE DAZE, AND YOU'VE GOT ONE HELL OF A MATCH!!!
GP:Phew... the crowd noise has finally died down... High Flyer battles the Mysterious One in a match that ?¿? made famous, the Mystery Death Match! Not many people have entered a Death Match like this, and came out alive to tell about it. Flyer's career, and even ?¿?'s career could be over by the end of the matchup.
JT:Flyer is also in the North American Title Matchup, where the winner between AWS Man(Also Known as Bill), Rob Kestler, and High Flyer will become the new North American Champion. We haven't had a North American Champion since Scott Stone was stripped of the title last month.
Nikki:And then the main event, as Evan Levine goes for his world Title against the defending hometown hero Pyscho Jay, and the Legend Phelen Kell.
GP:Don't forget, Evan Levine also likes to call this place home, so there is no true home field advantage for anyone tonight.
JT:Is it just me or does all the IWO superstars live in the New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania area?
GP:I think it's just you...
Nikki:I think JT's actually onto something...
GP:Nikki! SHHHH! I thought someone with breasts the size of yours would have SOME sense...
JT:That's not fair... that deserved at least six smacks! If that was me, I woulda been smacked till my face was blue.
Nikki:Oh don't worry, it WILL be you...
First Round Major Push Tournament Action
Barbed Wire Falls Count Anywhere
Jack Night vs. Dane Matthews
GP: Dane Matthews takes on Jack Night!
JT: For what?
GP: What do you mean, "for what"?
JT: What are they fighting for?
GP: A win?
JT: That's dumb.
GP: No it isn't. It's IWO!
JT: It's crap!
GP: You think EVERYTHING is crap!
GP: Stay out of this, woman.
Nikki: EXCUSE ME?!!
GP: I didn't say anything!
JT: Ha ha! You're scared of Nikki!
GP: Shut up!
Nikki: Oh, both of you shut up!
(GP and JT grumble as "The Memory Remains" by Metallica plays over the speakers.)
James Hetfield: Fortune, fame, mirrorbane, gone insane, but the memory remaaaaaaaaaaaains!
GP: And here comes Dane Matthews a former partner of Mike Extreme in Total Chaos!
JT: That team sucked... and so does he. This match is going to stink.
Nikki: You are so negative.
JT: But not without point!
("The Memory Remains" cuts off... and "Wake Up" by Rage Against The Machine plays.)
JT: Here's Jack Night. He was Extreme Champion for what, a week? Yip-pee... ZZzzzzZZzzzz...
GP: Be respectful.
GP: Because either guy can come over here and kick your ass.
JT: Oh. OH! Yikes.
GP: Better. Jack Night gets in the ring, goes to the ropes, and raises his arms in victory... and Matthews
pushes him over the top rope to the floor! Night falls on his head! And Matthews gets out of the ring to go
after him! Matthews picks up Night and tosses him into the barricade!
JT: What is the point of this match?
GP: For Matthews and Night to show their stuff.
Nikki: Are you going to be saying that through this contest?
JT: Oh, probably.
GP: It's already beginning to get annoying... Night gets caught in a bearhug on the outside of the ring!
Matthews tosses Night into the ringpost! Talk about starting off one-sided. Matthews pretty much has this
thing in the bag. Night down on the floor... and Matthews hits a boot to the stomach of Night. I'm surprised he's not as cocky as expected. Matthews tosses Night in the ring... and follows him in.
Nikki: Matthews picks up Night, goes for a bodyslam! Now he scales the ropes, signals for an elbowdrop...
GP: He's right.
Nikki: Did you just agree with him?
GP: Um -- NO! No I didn't! I swear!
JT: Ha ha! Yes you did! Anyway, Night has gotten to his feet, wraps Matthews in an armbar. Matthews rolls
forward, and now Night is in the armbar. But Night flips Matthews over, and now Matthews in the armbar
AGAIN! How dumb can this get? Matthews pushes his way from the armbar... chops Night in the chest! Chops him again! And again! Night doesn't let go, Matthews goes for another one! Night ducks! He hits a Bareback on
Matthews, and now Dane Matthews is down!
Nikki: Night goes for the cover... one, two... easy kickout by Matthews. Night rolls Matthews over, goes
for a single-legged Boston Crab. Matthews pushes Night off of him, however, and Night goes through the ropes
but lands on the apron! Night pulls himself up as Matthews gets to his feet, SPRINGBOARD BULLDOG!
Matthews goes back down!
JT:How did the barbed wire ropes hold him up?!?!
GP: Now Night goes for the Boston Crab again... he locks it in! Matthews snaps back awake with pain! Dane
Matthews pulling himself towards those ropes... but Night pulls him back to the center! Matthews pushes...
he pushes... and Night loses a leg! Now all that pain is centered on Matthews's right leg! Matthews is in
considerable pain, now! But he moves his leg and kicks out one of Night's feet out from under him! Night
falls back, and releases the Crab! Now Matthews is rolling out of the way...
Nikki: Night getting back up, chasing after Matthews, Matthews kicks Night in the shin! Night grabs
Matthews's leg, Matthews uses the other one to kick Night back! Dane pulls himself up, goes for a lariat,
misses, Night tries for a Dragon Suplex, but Matthews low blows Night! Matthews signals for a powerbomb, but
Night hits a back body drop -- no, Matthews lands on his feet, he's behind Night, goes for an inverted DDT,
but Night pulls himself up and over! Lands behind Matthews, and he grabs him and lands an inverted DDT!
(The crowd claps.)
GP: Night goes for a cover, two count! Jack Night hits Matthews with a couple elbows to Dane's head, covers
again! Two again! What will it take? Night grabs Matthews and picks him up... throws Matthews into the
corner. Matthew's arms are cut from that barbed wire, and now Jack is hitting Dane with several punches to the abdomen!
JT: This isn't a boxing contest! YEESH! Matthews with a knee in between punches to stop that dumb little
move. Night stumbles back... and Dane mule kicks him! Night goes to the ground, Dane covers him with what
looks like the Homosexual Hump pin!
GP: HOMOSEXUAL HUMP?
JT: Well, geez! Dane and Jack's crotches are right together, and Dane has one leg up! It looks like Nikki every night!
JT: OW! What the hell did you do that for?
Nikki: I do not HAVE SEX EVERY NIGHT!
JT: Ha. Surrrrre... well, Night kicked out at two. Matthews grabs Night... I swear, if he sticks Jack Night's head between his legs, I'm going to have to wonder if "The Lovely" Angela is his sister or something. OHHHHHHHHH... he did! But he Last Ride Powerbombs Night into the canvas! Another cover, this one thankfully not covering Night's body!
Nikki: Must you talk like that?
JT: Like what? One, two, kickout by Night!
Nikki: Like Matthews has "other reasons" to be wrestling...
JT: Like what other reasons?
GP: Don't even say it, Nikki...
JT: What? That every guy in the IWO has gotten a "lollipop" from Nikki?
GP: Anyway... Jack Night is getting to his feet, and Matthews is lying in wait. Matthews connects with a
hard right to Night's skull, and down goes Jack Night. Matthews with another cover... Night with a kickout.
Now Matthews pulls Night up, and throws him over the top rope! Night on the outside, and Matthews follows!
Nikki: Night gets picked up... Matthews with an irish whip, Night reverses, and Matthews goes into the
steps! Night getting this match back on his side of the road! Now Jack grabs Matthews and tosses him into
the ring... Night with a headbutt from the second rope.
JT: Night with a cover....... one..... two... Matthews kicks out. This match is too long.
GP: It is not.
JT: Is too! WAAAAH! I want a new match!
Nikki: You baby.
JT: Baby want somma momma's milk!
JT: Owie! Baby hurt, baby hurt!
GP: You are a real bitch.
JT: You little... fat.... errrr....
GP: Wanna go, little guy?
JT: You shouldn't go anywhere without a warm coat during these times, you know.
GP: *Sigh*... well, Night grabs Matthews... and... is that music playing?
(Michael Jackson's "Scream" begins to play. Jack Night looks around.)
JT: Okay, can we get any more SUCKY?
Nikki: LOOK! JACK NIGHT'S DANCING!
GP: MY GOD!! HE'S DANCING, HE'S BREAK DANCING! GO JACK, GO JACK...
JT: MATTHEWS UP! HE LARIATS NIGHT FROM BEHIND! HE GRABS JACK NIGHT AND LOCKS ON THE FINAL TOUCH!!! NIGHT IS IN THE FINAL TOUCH! HE HAS TO TAP, HE HAS TO! THIS MATCH WILL BE OVER! YESSSSS! TAP, DAMMIT, TAP!
GP: NIGHT IS STRUGGLING IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DANCED! NOW HE'S PAYING FOR IT! NIGHT STRUGGLING... WHAT THE HELL?!
(The entire arena goes dark... and a spotlight shines on top of the IWOTron...)
GP: MICHAEL JACKSON! IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!
JT: No it ain't! That guy's too big to be Michael "Small Boys" Jackson! But he swings to the ring! He lands in! And Matthews has released The Final Touch! Now he's staring at this guy.
Nikki: He's dressed like Michael... he's got that shiny jacket, the white glove, the top hat, but there's NO WAY that could be Michael Jackson, JT's right! But now, he's.... moonwalking... back.... and.... forth. What the hell is going on here?
Michael Clone: Jennie are ya walkin'!
GP: THE MICHAEL JACKSON HAT SPIN OF DOOM! MATTHEWS GOES DOWN! NIGHT WITH THE COVER! ONE.... TWO... THREE!! JACK NIGHT WINS, THANKS TO... THAT'S EDDIE SCOTT POSER! THE KING OF POLAND DRESSED UP AS MICHAEL JACKSON!
JT: Doesn't he want Mike Marchese's ice cream cone?
JT: What a weirdo. Now ESP grabs the Michael Jackson hat, and hightails it out of here! He does another run-in! But wait, Jack Night stops him!
Nikki: He's giving him a gift certificate to an ice cream place! Awwww... all Eddie wanted was some ice cream... EDDIE SCOTT POSER PUNCHES OUT JACK NIGHT! He must want Mike Marchese's ice cream cone, not just ANY cone!
GP: Well, let's get these guys out of the ring...
JT: Not like this match mattered, anyway... Neither of these men will come close to winning this tournament.
First Round Tournament Matches
Billy Ray vs. Phyre
GP:Well our next match is between Billy Ray and Phyre, but we really don't know what kind of match this one could turn out to be.
JT:It's a wrestling match.
GP:Shut up smart alec.
JT:What are you talking about? I was never smart to begin with and my name isn't Alec.
GP:Anyways, let's see what this next match will bring.
Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentleman. This next match is a zero gravity match. The winner of this match will move on to the next round of the tournament.
JT:What the hell? A zero gravity match. Phyre is seven feet eight inches tall and weighs over 600 friggin' pounds.
GP:It doesn't matter in zero gravity you idiot!
Ring Announcer:Would you please turn your attention to the video screen.
Nikki:There it is. The anti-gravity room. There's Billy Ray and Phyre getting ready for the match.
JT:Let's get it on!
GP:Billy Ray and Phyre are jumping up and down and up and...down again. They continue to circle each other over and over and over again. Answer me this...how hell are you supposed to prepare for this match??!!
Nikki:Don't ask me.
JT:There's a grapple. Billy Ray with a left and a right and...there they go again. Up in the air and down again. Phyre with a few punches and a go behind. Attempts a german suplex and CONNECTS. Billy Ray bounces of
the floor and onto the ceiling and back down again.
GP:Phyre catches Billy Ray. He has him. Powerbomb on Billy Ray! Billy Ray is up again. Another powerbomb and ANOTHER POWERBOMB! Kicks and punches to a fallen Billy Ray. A choke hold by Phyre. The ref tries to get Phyre to break it up. What are you doing ref?
JT:I don't think Phyre is intimidated by anyone. Hey ref, you are fighting a lost cause!
GP:He sure is. Let him do whatever he wants.
JT:Phyre picks up Billy Ray . Chokeslam! Billy Ray hits the ceiling. He's taking a lot of punishment in here. Billy Ray is back down and Phyre covers him...1...2...Billy Ray gets a shoulder up and is airborne. Phyre is
after him. Phyre with a right, blocked by Billy Ray, Phyre this time with a left, Billy Ray counters and hits a headbutt on the way down to the floor.
Nikki:Zero Gravity? Sheesh! Isaac Newton must be spinning in his grave.
GP:Well anyways, Billy Ray whips Phyre. He bounces off the wall. Billy Ray winds up and........clothesline and Phyre spins...and spins...and spins and Billy Ray jumps up and hits another clothesline.
JT:One of the weirdest matches in the history of the IWO ever. That's all I can say.
Nikki:Here we go. They're in mid-air. Billy Ray whips Phyre reversed by Phyre and reversed by Billy Ray and reversed by Phyre and reversed by Billy Ray. It looks like they're doing a dance.
GP:Hee hee hee. Look at them dance!
JT:Well they're back down now and it looks like Phyre has an advantage. Phyre has a gut wrench on Billy Ray. There's the flip. Billy Ray lands on his feet. An exchange of lefts and rights by both men. Billy Ray
tries a scoop slam and connects. Phyre bounces off the floor. Billy Ray grabs him by the foot. Russian leg sweep. Cover...1...2...NO! Phyre gets back up. Attempts a big boot. Billy Ray has his foot and flips him backwards. Phyre charges and Billy Ray side steps and Phyre hits the wall. Billy Ray at the attack again. Vertical suplex! Phyre is down and is up. Hits his head on the ceiling. He's back down. Billy Ray with a school boy...1...2...NO! Phyre is back up. He has Billy Ray. Looks like he's going for a belly to belly. He connects and Billy hits...the wall! Billy bounces back. Atomic drop by Phyre. He's airborne. Repeat, Billy Ray is airborne. He's on his way down. Phyre has his high over his head. He launches him like a dart. Ooooh! Billy Ray hits the wall face first. Now that's a bitter beer face no one wants to see.
Nikki:This is like a scene from the Matrix....or the Power Rangers. Here we go. School boy on Billy Ray. Ref covers...1...2...NO! Billy Ray gets a shoulder up. Phyre is winding up. Is it a big boot??
GP:Yes it is. He knocks the ref out. The ref is doing a sommersault in mid air!
JT:Perfect 10! Perfect 10! Bravo! Encore! If he can just get the dismount correct he will win gold.
Nikki:While the ref is spinning, I would like to apologize to you IWO fans that are watching. I'm in the middle of a jerk sandwich.
JT:Sweet. Hey, she likes three ways!
GP:Let's just move shall we?! The ref is spinning wildly. He looks like he's gonna hurl.
Nikki:Here we go. Billy Ray is still out of it. Phyre stops the ref. The ref is back on his feet. Ewww! There it is. Someone get the Pepto Bismol. It's all over Phyre.
JT:Billy Ray is finally up. Phyre is distracted. Billy Ray with a small package. The ref slowly counts...1....................2.....................NO! Phyre kicked out. Billy Ray is back up. He tosses Phyre. Phyre hits the ceiling yet again! Phyre is back down. Billy Ray has him. DDT! DDT! Phyre is out. Billy Ray holds onto him. Another DDT! The cover...1...2...THR...NO! Phyre is back up. Billy Ray attempts a flying forearm, Phyre ducks and connects with an elbow. Another elbow by fire and finishes off with a DDT of his own. Both men are down, or slowly rising up again. It depends on how you look at it. Phyre is the first one to regain composure. Billy Ray is in mid-air. Phyre pulls him down. He's looking for the Revolution. He goes for it. Billy Ray counters. He attempts it again. Another counter. One more time. The pick up. Billy Ray counters again. A go behind. He hooks Phyre's waist. Phyre counters. Phyre is looking for the powerbomb and....connects again! He's not going for the cover. He's taking a breather.
GP:He's back to the attack. Punches and kicks by the big man. Looks like he is ready to finish him off. Piledriver...connects! Ref counts.....1.....................2.........................NO!
Nikki:What a slow count by the ref. This is ridiculous!
T:Phyre is arguing with the ref. Watch out Phyre. He might start to hurl again. Billy Ray sneaks up. BULLDOG! BULLDOG! Ref with a count.....1.............2...........NO!
GP:Billy Ray is signaling for the Beer Bomb! Could this be it?! Could it?! Can he get him? Billy Ray has Phyre between his legs. He's up and Phyre is down. Billy Ray with the pin. Ref with the count......................1.............................2..............................3! Billy Ray did it! He finally did it!
Nikki:Billy Ray is your winner and he moves onto the next round. He beat the big man.
JT:I can't beieve it!
GP:Well believe it baby! Billy Ray is the victor!
Ring Announcer:Your Winner, and advancing in the tournament, BILLY RAY!
(My Dick is looking over the booking sheet for the show. He's sitting behind an expensive-looking pure marble desk.)
My Dick: Hmmm... let's see... World Title match, Major Push Tournament, North American Title Match... hey! Where's the Utter Obliteration match for this card?
(He flips through the papers.)
My Dick: What the fuck? No Utter Obliteration match? Hmmm... what can I do...
(He pushes a button on his desk.)
My Dick: Pussy Banged...
Pussy Banged: Yes?
My Dick: Could you have Donnie Daze, Sam Potright, and Mike Extreme come in here?
PB: Okay, Mr. My Dick.
(Less than a minute later, in walks the three that My Dick called for.)
My Dick: Okay... fuck the greetings. I called you three because I noticed that there's no Utter Obliteration match on this card.
Donnie Daze: So?
My Dick: So... I want you three in a special gimmick match.
Mike Extreme: Excuse me?
My Dick: You, you, and you... in a Japanese Death Match with "I Quit" rules... I might add something later on... I don't have the time to think of something anymore complicated right now, I have business to attend to... now get out of here.
Daze: You can't do that! I already have two matches toni-
My Dick: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
(The three leave, especially Donnie, who's a bit intimidated.)
My Dick: Damn talent...
(The scene fades back into the arena.)
First Round Major Push Tournament
Spaz vs. Mike Extreme
GP: This next match is going to be a good one. Its a first round match in the Major Push Tournament. Not only will the winner move on but the winner be the TV champion. Spaz will be defending the title in this match.
JT: Let me tell everybody what kind of match this is going to be.
Nikki: All right go ahead you cry baby.
JT: This match is going to be a....
GP: Well, go on and tell everybody or I will do it.
JT: I was getting there it builds up the suspense.
Nikki: No, it doesn't.
JT: Its going to be a ladder match for the TV title.
Nikki: You sound like a fag.
JT: Yeah well you sound like a like...
Nikki: Like a what?
GP: Children please stop. Lets get this match going.
Ring Announcer: The following match up is a first round match up in the Major Push Tournament.
Ring Announcer: This match is going to be a ladder match for the TV title. Introducing first the champion...SPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
*Spaz's music blast over the PA system. Spaz walks out from behind the curtains and he has the TV title over his shoulder. He slowly walks down to the ring and gets in. He climbs the ropes and raises the TV title in the air. Spaz then hands the TV title to the referee.*
GP: Spaz looks to be in great shape tonight. This will be the only match he has to defend the TV title in tonight if he wins same goes with Mike Extreme. But as I was saying Spaz looks like he is ready to go in however many
JT: I'm going out on a limb and I think Spaz will get farther than anybody else expects.
Nikki: So your saying that you think Spaz is going to win it all?
JT: No, I'm just saying he will go farther than anybody is expecting.
Ring Announcer: Introducing the challenger from Chicago, Illinois. Weighting 325 pounds and 6 feet 9 inches tall MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEXXXXTTTTTRRRRRREEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!
*'The Unforgiven' by Metallic blast over the PA system and Mike walks out. A few fireworks shoot off as he starts to walk down to the ring. The fans are booing and Mike flips a few of them off. Mike gets in the ring and he says something to Spaz and then he goes and stands in his corner.*
GP: Mike looks like he is ready to kill somebody. He has a lot of motivation to win this match because ever since he lost his World Title match a few months ago he hasn't been the same. If he wins this tournament it
would be a great way to show everybody that Mike Extreme is back.
Nikki: He sure does look like he is ready to fight and if he does win this match he will be crowned as the new TV champion.
JT: It looks like the referee is ready to get this match under way.
Ding Ding Ding...
GP: This match is now officially under way. One of these two men will have to beat down there opponent enough to go outsidet the ring, get the ladder, bring it back in the ring, set it up, and climb all the way to the top and grab the TV title that is high above the ring.
Nikki: Mike and Spaz just locked up. Spaz sends Mike to the ropes and a big hip toss.
JT: Spaz is trying to wear down Mike early he just put Mike in a head lock.
GP: Spaz is really lucky he is still TV champion coming into this match. This past Wednesday he lost a TV title match but by DQ so he didn't lose the title.
Nikki: Yes, he did but the point is he is still TV champion.
JT: If Spaz wins this whole tournament then he really won't have to worry about the TV title anymore because he will be moving on to bigger and better things.
GP: Mike is making his way back to his feet. There is an elbow to the stomach and another he just broke the headlock. Mike runs off the ropes and he just almost took Spaz's head off with that clothes line.
JT: Mike is back on his feet he looks a little wobbly because I think some of his air was cut off from that head lock.
Nikki: Mike has Spaz up and he goes down what a big time backbreaker. Mike is on top of Spaz just choking him out. This isn't fair!
JT: Why don't you go tell him that Nikki?
GP: Its all legal in this match because there are no rules.
Nikki: Finally he let go of the choke hold but what is he doing now?
JT: I think he is going to get the ladder and get this match over with and still have energy left for the rest of the night.
GP: Mike has the ladder and he is starting to bring it back to the ring.
*As Mike is bringing the ladder back to the ring Spaz runs and jumps over the top rope and dives into the ladder and it knocks both Mike and Spaz down.*
Nikki: WHAT A GREAT MOVE BY SPAZ!
JT: Spaz is sure giving it his all tonight.
GP: There is only problem with that move and it is I think he hurt himself as much as he hurt Mike Extreme.
JT: Mike is the first man back up to his feet.
*Mike picks up the ladder and slams it down on Spaz's chest. Mike then tosses the ladder in the ring and he gets back in the ring.*
GP: Mike is setting up the ladder and I think he is going to try and climb this. I guess he thinks he has done enough to Spaz that he will stay out of the ring.
JT: Mike is starting to climb the ladder. He is climbing it very slow but he is making his way up there.
Nikki: He is half way up the ladder but wait a second Spaz is starting to move.
GP: Mike is reaching for the TV title but it is just out of his hands. He takes another step up the ladder he has his hands on the belt but it isn't coming lose. Spaz is on the top rope he jumps and a flying drop kick knocks Mike off the ladder. What a move by Spaz.
JT: Spaz has delivered two very high powered moves to Mike. Spaz is back on his feet and he has Mike Extreme by the hair.
*Spaz picks Mike up and slams him on the ladder*
Nikki: Spaz is now showing some offense. Spaz just picked up the ladder and he slammed it over Mike's back.
*Spaz sets up the ladder in the corner of the ring*
GP: Why in the hell did he set up the ladder in the corner of the ring?
*Spaz climbs to the top of the ladder and he jumps and does a moonsault and lands right on Mike Extreme.*
JT: What a high risk move! I have never seen anything like that in my life.
Nikki: Spaz really wants this win not only to keep his TV title but to move on in the tournament. He is giving it his all and putting everything on the line.
GP: But if he does win here how will that effect him in the future matches here tonight?
Nikki: He is going to have to put away Mike Extreme first.
JT: Mike is now back on his feet and Spaz had the ladder in his hands.
*Spaz runs against the ropes and he swings the ladder at Mike Extreme's head but Mike moves out of the way and then drop kicks the back of Spaz's knee making him drop the ladder.*
GP: Mike is a very lucky man that he saw that coming. It could have all been over if Spaz would have hit him with the ladder.
JT: Spaz was shaken up by that and he is holding his knee. Mean while Mike is back on his feet.
Nikki: This match has gone back and forth at first I thought Mike was going to win, then I thought Spaz was going to put this match away, and now it looks like Mike has the advantage.
*Mike sends Spaz to the ring corner and Mike starts choking him with his boot.*
Nikki: That is cheating! Mike is going to cheat to win.
JT: Cheating is always a good thing you got to love it.
GP: How many times do I have to say it anything is legal in this match. The only rule is to win you have to climb the ladder and grab the TV title.
Nikki: But it still isn't fair.
*Mike legs go of the choke hold and Spaz falls to the ground. While Spaz is on the ground Mike sets the ladder up under the belt.*
JT: There are you happy he took his foot off of his throat?
Nikki: Yes, but the damage was still done.
GP: Mike is going for the TV title. He has started climbing the ladder. But he didn't hurt Spaz enough because Spaz is back to his feet.
JT: What is Spaz doing why doesn't he just knock the ladder over?
Nikki: Beats me.
*Spaz starts climbing the ladder on the other side. He climbs the ladder faster than Mike and he catches up with him. At the top they start trading punches and Mike falls back but not off the ladder. Spaz climbs one more
step and he is in reach of the title but as he is reaching up for it Mike hits him in the stomach.*
Nikki: Someone is going to fall and who is it going to be?
*Mike climbs up and he is taller than Spaz he sticks Spaz's head between his legs.*
JT: What is Mike going to do? If he powerbombs him off the top of the ladder he could kill him.
*Mike picks Spaz up and he drops him to the ground.*
Nikki: What a great powerbomb!
GP: This match is over with.
JT: Yes, we finally have a winner.
Nikki: What a great move by Spaz to grab the TV title when he went up in the air.
Ring Announcer: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND STILL TV CHAMPION SSSSSSSSPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
GP: What a great match and Spaz moves on. Let's keep going with the first round of this tournament...
13 Man Major Push Tournament
Toys R Us Death Match
Mike Marchese vs. Schitzo Tod
GP:This is going to be a rather odd matchup, Mike Marchese and Schitzo Tod will battle it out inside of a local Toys R Us here in Philadelphia.
JT:This isn't odd! This match was mad classic by the battles of Ken War and Mad Max!
Nikki:Not many people remember that matchup, that was almost 18 months ago, so, Greg, why don't you run down the rules?
GP:I'd be glad too Nikki. You see, in this matchup, both participants are blindfolded at the start of the match, and are set on opposite ends of the store. They can only find one another by sounds they hear going off in the store, and once they find their opponent, the bell rings, and they know to take off their hoods and get to fighting!
JT:And it's going to be cool, because there WILL be blood! Too bad they can't just be bloody right away...
Nikki:Well,Patience will suffice, because hell, this match will be brutal. Whoever survives this may as well leave the tournament now...
GP:But Nikki, if you look at the rest of the matches throughout the night, the matches just get worse as we go... Chamber of Horrors, Hells Dungeon, and Electrified steel cages surround the quarter finals, as the semi-s include a Chutes, Ladders, and Tables match! This tournament will be hell on the winner.
JT:I can't wait until the final stipulation is revealed. Oh man, that's going to be sweet!
GP:Let's head on over to the Toys R Us right outside of the Corestates Center...
(The camera shows the full glass reconstructed Toys R Us outside of the Corestates Center, as we slowly begin the slow dramatic pan inside. We see Mike Marchese with the hood on his head, as we zoom in.)
Mike Marchese:Now Skip, I want you to tell me where to go...
Skip:I'm under the hood too Mike!
Meygon:This is a First round matchup in the "Major Push Tournament." Introducing first, hailing from Darien, IL, and weighing in at 258 pounds... along with his best friend Skip... here is Mike Marchese!
(The camera cuts over to another man in a hood, which looks to be Schitzo Tod. He is show on a walky talky.)
Schitzo Tod:Now AWS Man(Also Known as Bill)... can you tell me where Marchese is?
(We hear a voice crackling, as then we hear the voice of Liv Tyler.)
Liv Tyler:Whatever you do... I'll always love you..
Schitzo Tod:Damnit! Stupid Armaggedon walky talkies!
(Schitzo Tod tosses the walky talky into a balloon filled blow up dolls of dinasours. One of them seems to be motion detected, as Schitzo Tod all of a sudden lounges at it, takes it down to the floor and starts pouding at it.)
Meygon:And his opponent, from the Children of the Porn... hailing from Jackson, Mississippi, and weighing in here tonight at 215 pounds... here is Andrew!
(Schitzo Tod continues to beat the living snot out of the blow up dinosaur, as it pops underneath him. He gets up and raises his hands in victory.)
Schitzo Tod:I WON! I WON!
(The camera turns into a split screen as we see Mike Marchese.)
Mike Marchese:Did you hear something Skip?
Skip:Yeah... it's Schitzo Tod... he won...
Mike Marchese:Oh, I guess we can go home now, can't we?
(Mike Marchese turns to leave and runs himself into a case full of barbie dolls, obviously knocking the case down. Marchese picks up a barbie doll and begins to hug it, as Schitzo Tod hears Marchese. He begins to make his pursuit.)
GP:Okay, both of these guys are nut cases, this is going to be a rather hillarious matchup.
JT:Hillarious! Awh... I wanted blood...
JT:Wow! Blood Sex Sugar and Magic! I like the first two!
(JT goes to humming tracks from the Red Hot Chilli Pepper's cd as Greg and Nikki return to calling the matchup.)
GP:We've got Schitzo Tod on one side of the split screen, as we can see Mike Marchese wandering around Toys R Us on the other side. Tod is wandering down the aisle of bicycles at the moment...
(Schitzo Tod runs into a bicycle.)
Schitzo Tod:Excuse me ma'am... have you ever heard of a diet?
JT:Tod believes that bike is a fat women! Ha!
Nikki:We can see Mike Marchese leading himself blindly down a hall of video games...
Mike Marchese:Hey Skip, you're not blindfolded, are you?
Skip:No you idiot, I'm just sitting here watching my good old fashion por.... photography kit. I'm learning how to take pretty pictures.
Mike Marchese:Skip, I told you. Business is business!
Skip:I know, but she was just calling... take a look at my pretty pictures...
Mike Marchese:Skip! Where is Schitzo Tod!
Skip:Hold up... let me possess his body...
(Mike Marchese heads into a dreamlike state, as he begins to shake violently.)
GP:Uhhh... Marchese is being violently possessed by some satanic being.
JT:I can't believe you called Skip a Satatnic Being!
GP:Look what the hell Marchese is doing!
(All of a sudden, Schitzo Tod on the other screen falls into a deep sleep, as we hear Marchese's voice through him.)
Tod(sounding like Marchese):Aisle 6....
(Both men snap out of the trance, as we see Mike Marchese wandering around the Toys R Us. He seems to be now in aisle seven, an aisle full of G.I. Joe plastic dolls.)
Mike Marchese:Where the hell is he!
GP:Tod's on the other side of that shelf! Tod is trying to get through, and he's climbing up top! He's climbing up that shelf! And They're in view! They can take their blindfolds off!
(Marchese and Tod both take off their blindfolds, as Tod lounges his body at Marchese, hitting a huge cross body.)
GP:Cross body by Schitzo Tod! He just took Marchese down onto the hard marble floor. Tod starts laying in with rights of his own, hammering Marchese. Tod grabs Marchese, and whips him hard into the shelf full of G.I. Joes!
JT:It's Snake Eyes! Tod has Snake Eyes!
Tod(Holding up Snake Eye's Doll):I will destroy you with my Martial Arts...Tam baby! Tam!
GP:Tod Anhialation Manover!(shin kick) Marchese falls down and grabs his right shin, as Tod looks at the Snake Eyes figure.
Tod:Snake Eyes, you were always the best.
(Tod places the Snake Eyes figure back on the shelf as Mike Marchese clips Tod's knees out. Tod falls down to the ground, as Marchese nails him with a huge forearm to the back of the neck.)
JT:Marchese isn't playing games...
Nikki:Not yet anyway.
Mike Marchese:OH MY GOD!!!
(Mike Marchese rushes over and grabs a barbie.)
Mike Marchese:MALIBU LISA LIONHEART!
Mike Marchese:I've been looking for you forever! Oh my god! I can't take it out of the original packaging though!
(Tod comes flying out of nowhere and clothesline Mike Marchese from a bicycle.)
GP:Schitzo Tod's got a bike! Marchese is down... Tod tries to flip off the bike's pedals, but falls flat on his face!
JT:Uncordinated unagile bastard...
GP:You ever try to jump off a bike's pedal's?
Nikki:Both Marchese and Tod are up, as they battle. Tod sends Marchese into aisle five, and right into a huge stack of Rubix cubes!
(Marchese grabs a cube up off the floor, and backs away.)
Mike Marchese:NOT YOU! MY MORTAL ENEMY!
GP:Tod charges! Marchese just clocked Tod in the face with a rubix cube!
Mike Marchese:Awh... you were just trying to help...
(Mike begins to play with the rubix cube, and once again solves the one side.)
Mike Marchese:Ah ha! I've conquered... DOH! Defective!
(Mike throws the rubix cube at Schitzo Tod, as Tod swats it away. Tod kicks Mike Marchese, and nails a jawbreaker.)
GP:Huge Jawbreaker by Marchese! Marchese picks Tod back up and hip tosses him into the huge display of Rubix Cubes!
JT:Marchese is climbing up the shelves here in Toys R Us! Marchese hits a huge splash into the huge pile of Rubix Cube! Our referee is there! 1-2-NO! Schitzo Tod got a shoulder up!
Nikki:Dear god, don't ask me how!
GP:Marchese has Tod back up out of the rubix cube pile, and he's taking him into the video game department! Mike Marchese just threw Tod through the glass windows!
JT:I always thought that was plastic?
GP:Whatever it is, Tod just went through it!
(We close up to Marchese, who grabs the game "Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2," as he pockets it into his tights.)
Nikki:Wait! Tod has a Playstation 2! How in god's name did he find one! Marchese turns around, and eats a playstation 2 to the skull! Dear god!
GP:Tod is looking and realized he hit Marchese with the beloved Playstation 2, as he sets it carefully down. Marchese grabs Tod from behind! MARCHESE DROP!(Inverted DVD)
JT:MARCHESE COVERS TOD! 1-2-3! Marchese advances to the second round! Dear god!
Ring Announcer:Your Winner, Mike Marchese!
GP: WHAT A GREAT CARD!
JT: Shut up, Greg.
Nikki: Well... we've got all of these jobbers in the ring for some reason, and...
JT:Why did they even come here right now?
(Suddenly, out of the blue, "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple plays asthe crowd goes NUTS as a familiar man comes out. JT goes wide-eyed.)
GP: IT'S JOEY MALONE!
JT: NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM! AAAAHHHHH!!!
(Joey Malone climbs into the ring and absolutely destroys Carson Daly with a clothesline)
GP: Malone with a clothesline to take down Carson Daly!
Nikki: Here comes Arson Daily, but Joey kicks him in the gut! Double arm DDT!
GP: Here comes Joe Mielo, but Joey ducks his clothesline, grabs him...THE JERKEROLIZER!
JT: Carson Daly gets up and charges at Malone, who leap frogs him...back side kick to the stomach by Malone!
GP: Double underhook...
JT: NOT THIS MOVE!
GP: EVEREST CATACLYSM(double arm inverted Emerald Fusion)! EVEREST CATACLYSM!
Nikki: WAIT! HERE COMES ARSON DAILY! JOEY WITH A STIFF FRONT DROPKICK TO ARSON'S STOMACH... DOUBLE UNDERHOOK... EVEREST CATACLYSM!
GP: JOEY COVERS BOTH OF THEM... ONE... TWO.... THREE!!!!!
JT: Dammit! God dammit! Why is this loser here?! I THOUGHT HE WAS IN TIBET!
(Joey grabs a microphone.)
Joey Malone: I bet you all are wondering why I'm here, aren't you? A couple of weeks ago, I went to Tibet. The Temple of Derp. But as I heard off the Telellama, it seemed apparent that the IWO really didn't miss me. Well, except AWS Man (also known as Bill), who cried himself to sleep knowing that his favorite punching bag went to Tibet. And my janitor friends were getting killed off, one by one. But since the IWO didn't miss me, that's okay. I'm a fairly understanding individual. And I thought I'd give the IWO what it doesn't want... my unwanted
GP: What is he saying? Joey Malone has become one of the most popular newcomers in the IWO since debuting in August!
Nikki: Sarcasm, Greg.
Joey Malone: So I bid Master Derp farewell, packed up my Deep Purple albums and other stuff, and departed. I headed here after a twenty hour flight. So IWO, I'm BACK! Yeah. And I'm sure you don't care. You probably won't care when I decide that I want to challenge AWS Man (also known as Bill) to a Pacific title match one of these years. Probably as soon as I talk to My Dick about it. Although he'll probably cut off my Head From Porn Star supply for it. Oh well, this is getting boring, sooo....
(Joey climbs up to the top rope...)
JT: NO! NOT THIS MOVE, TOO!
GP: BAD MOON RISING(Top rope diving headbutt) TO EX-IML2 JOE MIELO! JOEY MALONE HAS CLEANED HOUSE!
GP: Where'd he go?
JT: I dunno, but I'm glad he's gone.
Dream Tag Team Partners Match
Shawn Arrows vs. Carlos Lopez
GP: Fans, it is now time, for our Dream Tag Team Partners match, to begin.
Nikki: Great, that means its time for me to go to sleep. You know I don't want to see either of these guys, or whoever they've got as their partners! All four will suck!
JT: How do you know the two partners will suck?
Nikki: To team with Arrows or Lopez, you MUST suck.
GP: Whatever, lets just get down to the ring, and get the introductions for this match underway.
Meygon: Fans, this match, is scheduled for One Fall. Coming down to the ring first, he is "The OutKast" of the IWO!! Carlos LopeZ!!!!
Some cheesy music begins to play, as Carlos Lopez makes his way out to the ring, obviously upset about the whole deal. He slides into the ring, and grabs the mic from Meygon's hands.
Carlos: Ok, I know, I haven't been the hardest worker in the IWO. I know, up until now, I really haven't said a word, but it's time for all of that to change. Tonight, is my last night in the IWO, in wrestling for that matter.
I'm hanging up the boots..once and for all. So tonight, I'm going to keep a promise, and I'm going to team with the one guy that has always wanted to team with me, so come on out here Brian.
The cheesy music starts up again, as a man walks down to the ring. Apparently, his name is Brian Williams, from the writing on his trunks. He slides into the ring, with a big smile on his face, as he shakes Carlos' hand.
Carlos: Brian, tonight, we've got to put an end to Shawn Arrows, once and for all, and then, I can retire happily.
"IronMan" by Black Sabbath is then heard, blaring through the arena speakers, as the lights dim, and turn to a dark blue color. Silver strobe lights then go off around the arena, and are followed by two silver spotlights, which
stop on entrance space. After a few seconds, Shawn Arrows steps out, wearing a blue t-shirt, with what appears to be a silver lining along the bottom of the shirt's sleeves, and a pair of blue tights, with silver cloth over the
legs, as if hiding something. He walks slowly down to the ring, followed by the spotlight. He slides into the ring, still followed by the spotlight, and grabs the microphone, walking backwards to a corner, smiling as he stares at
the two men, and the lights finally come back to normal.
Shawn: Oh yay, it's Brian "BarbedWire" Williams. Woohoo. Anyways. Carlos, come on, you dropped me for this sap?
Shawn lets out a small chuckle, as Lopez and Williams slowly look at each other, and then back at Shawn.
Shawn: Come on man. Are you really this stupid? I know, this is the end of your career, and you want to live out your promises, but do you want this to be the end of your life too?
Lopez calls for a mic, and gets one thrown to him, Williams does the same, and gets one thrown to him, but unfortunately, he isn't that good of a catcher, and gets hit in the head by the microphone, as Shawn just sits on
the top turnbuckle laughing.
Lopez: The End of my life? Shawn, we all know, theres no way, you've got a partner! There is no one in the IWO that likes you. We all know you suck!!
Williams(rubbing his head): Uh..Yea..What he said!!
Shawn: Thats what I figured. You know, you're right. There is no active wrestler in the IWO that likes me. Except for about four guys, all of which have 10-20 times the talent of you two put together. But I went to an
outside source for my partner tonight, and brought a new guy into the IWO.
The lights in the arena dim back to dark blue, and the silver strobe lights go off again, stopping, and letting the spotlights make their way to the entrance way, as another man steps out. He is wearing the same clothes as
Shawn Arrows, and has the same wicked smile on his face, as he runs down to the ring, and slides in, pulling a microphone out of his trunks, and standing beside Arrows, laughing at Carlos' face.
Man: let me guess Carlos. You remember me?
Carlos: Eric Reed?!?
Shawn(dropping off the turnbucle, still smiling): Yea Carlos. The two brothers bumped into each other, about a week before you turned on me. See, I was waiting on this, so was he, because we both knew this was the
opportunity we have been waiting for.
Shawn and Eric both throw their microphones out of the ring, and run at Lopez and Williams who swing their arms, trying to hit Arrows and Reed with the Microphones. Arrows sneaks around behind Williams, and Reed does the same to Lopez, as both men deliver German Suplexs and roll the opponents out of the ring, smiling down at them.
GP: What the hell is going on here?!?
Nikki: I wish I could tell you. All I know, is that Shawn Arrows, has a man standing beside him, that looks like he could be pretty impressive here.
JT: Oh come on. Brian Williams, a retiring Carlos Lopez, Eric Reed, and Shawn Arrows. This match shouldn't be allowed to even air tonight!!
GP: Well, it is, and I'm glad it is, because I want to see how this one turns out!
Nikki: Lopez rolls in the ring, and stares across at Reed, who's chosen to stay in the ring first. Lopez runs at Reed, obviously mad, but Reed takes him down with a drop toe hold, and then rolls around, locking him in an arm
JT: Reed picking Lopez up, keeping that arm locked. Lopez swings free, and spins around, but theres Reed with a kick to the gut, and a DDT!
GP: I think Arrows and Reed got Lopez off his game early, and have him so he's too mad to be able to wrestle with these two.
Nikki: Thats for sure. Reed goes right back to the arm bar, picking Lopez up, and again, still holding that arm bar, sinching it in tighter, as he tags in Arrows, who comes off the top rope with a double axe handle onto that arm,
and then Arrows goes down, and locks on an arm bar of his own! Arrows moves Lopez, and keeps the Arm bar hooked, as Arrows climbs to the second rope, and drops down, sitting down on Lopez's Arm!
JT: Arrows picks up Lopez, continuing to hold onto Lopez's arm, as he gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes, and dropkicks his arm and shoulder as he comes back! Arrows bounces off the ropes, and nails a leg drop across
Lopez's arm! Arrows then, once again, lifts up Lopez, and locks on an arm bar! Arrows tags Reed back in the ring, and Reed smiles as he steps through the ropes, and climbs onto the middle rope, leaping off with a double axe handle across the arm, and then locks Lopez in an arm bar!
Nikki: This match is getting a bit boring, don't you guys think?
GP: It's obvious, that Arrows and Reed, want to take out Lopez. They want to take him out of this business for good, and make sure THEY can lay claim to him never coming back.
JT: Reed looks like he is going to pick up the pace, as he swings Lopez to the ropes, and catches him coming back, grabbing his arm, and jerking it down across his knee. Reed keeps ahold of his arm, and jumps over Lopez, pulling his arm back, while making sure Lopez remains face first!
GP: Fans, I think I just heard something snap.
Nikki: Reed is now helping Carlos up, making sure to pull him up by that badly injured arm, and Reed swings him to the ropes by that arm, it falls limp as Lopez runs, and Reed catches him coming back with a dropkick to the
JT: Brian Williams runs in the ring, and the referee is trying to get him back out. Here comes Arrows into the ring! Reed locks Lopez in a sharpshooter, and Arrows locks Lopez in a cobra clutch/Steiner Recliner type
move, and both are pulling back, leaning on each other. Reed falls to the side of Arrows, and both men keep leaning back, and my god, Lopez's feet just kicked him in the head! Thats how far they've got this man bent, and he's tapping!!
GP: Yea, but the referee is still tied up with Brian Williams!! Williams is trying to get through to break the hold, as Arrows breaks, and rolls out of the ring, throwing a chair in to Reed!
Nikki: My god..No!! Lopez, slowly staggering to his feet. He looks like a crippled pile of lard! He finally makes his way to one knee, and theres Reed with a chairshot to the head!! Reed puts the chair on Lopez's angle, and
hooks it on, so it'll slam, smashing his ankle!
JT: Lopez's right arm, and left leg, are already weakened to the point, that he wont even be able to use them, and now Reed wants to destroy Lopez's right ankle as well!!
GP: Reed getting back, so he can run and stomp on the chair, but Williams just grabbed Reed by his hair, and jerked him down to the ground. Williams jumps over the top rope, and nails a leg drop on Reed! But theres Arrows! Arrows grabs Williams, and tosses him right back over the top rope, flipping him off as he hits the ground, and Arrows goes out after him!
Nikki: Arrows, and Williams, fighting on the outside of the ring, and somehow, Carlos Lopez has made his way to his feet. The referee is trying to restore order, and get Arrows and Williams to stop fighting. Williams turns
around, and Lopez just nailed him with that chair, as hard as he could, but Lopez crumbled to the ground in pain!
JT: Lopez and Reed are both trying to make their way to their respected corners! Lopez gets to Williams, Reed gets to Arrows, and we've got two fresh men in the ring. Williams jumps over the top rope, and runs, going for
a clothesline before Arrows can even get in the ring, but Arrows ducks, and grabs the back of Williams head. Reed holds Williams head, and pulls him up a bit! Reed steps to the side, and Arrows springboards off the middle rope, and comes across Williams' neck with a leg drop, as both men go crashing to the floor on the outside!
GP: Arrows runs Williams head into the steps, and Williams staggers back, turning around, and theres a DDT, and the referee is up to five....six.....seven..Arrows rolls in the ring!..eight...nine te....Williams got in!
Nikki: Williams rolled in the ring, and theres Arrows with a couple of boots to the head, and now with a quick snapping elbow to the back! Arrows is working over on Williams, as he tosses him to his own corner, and runs,
splashing Williams in the corner! Williams falls, and Arrows springboards off the middle rope, and dropkicks Lopez, spinning around, and landing a leg drop on Williams!
JT: Lopez looks pissed, and he's trying to get in the ring over here with a chair! But theres Reed on the other side of the ring! Eric Reed runs in, and Arrows swings him to the ropes! Reed catches him coming off, and lifts
him up for a Millitary Press! He tosses him towards Arrows, and Arrows bounces off the ropes, and catches Williams, dropping down!
GP: Arrow-Shot DDT on Brian Williams! Thats a tag team Arrow-Shot DDT!!! Arrows not going for a cover though! Arrows is sitting in his corner, talking to Eric Reed, while Brian Williams is crawling over to Carlos Lopez! Tag!! And Arrows just shot up, and clotheslined the hell out of Lopez!!
Nikki: Arrows is calling for something, but, what? Reed drops down and grabs that chair, and throws it up to Arrows! Arrows catches it, and slams it down across the knee of Lopez! He hooks it onto him and walks to his
corner. Arrows runs, and stomps!!
JT: My god faqns, that was a sickening snap. The referee, asking Lopez if he wants to give this one up, but Shawn turns the referee around, and Drives him Crazy!!
GP: Reed jumps in the ring, leg dropping the chair down onto the ankle again, and then the two men signal, saying it's over!! Reed and Arrows pick up Lopez, and nail a double team snap suplex. Arrows and Reed pick Lopez up again, and nail a double team powerbomb! They're starting to go to work on the neck and back of Lopez, as they're wearing him down for the end!
Nikki: Arrows takes Lopez to the top rope, as Reed climbs back out of the ring, and the referee is getting up. Arrows hooks Lopez like a pretzel, and DDt's him off the top rope..BROKEN ARROW!!!
JT: How the hell do you know the names to this losers moves?
JT: Anyways, Arrows has Lopez back up, and he just nailed The Arrows' Point as well! Williams runs in the ring, and Arrows ducks behind him!
JT: What the hell did you just say?
Nikki: Ooook. Arrows picks up Williams, and gives him the Tri-Plex, and then rolls him out of the ring!!
GP: Lopez gets up, amazingly, and gets a kick to the gut! Arrows runs, and jumps backwards off the middle rope, grabbing Lopez's head, and bringing him over with a Super Shot DDT!
JT: Arrows picks Lopez up, holding him up by his arms, going for, one of those guys from, that other company's finisher, the Pedigree! Arrows lifts him up, but slides him to the side, for an underhook, Double Arm DDT! Arrows is holding Lopez in the air, and Reed has Lopez's feet. Arrows drops, and Reed spikes Lopez right down on his head!!
Nikki: Spiked Green Card!! Arrows is picking up Lopez, and telling Reed to go to the top rope! Arrows kicks Lopez in the gut, and locks him in a 3/4 turn neckbreaker! He spins him around, into a regular neck breaker, and spins him back around, as Carlos tries to block it by putting his knee up, but Arrows slams him face first down on his knee, and here comes Reed with a flying Elbow!
JT: Arrows runs and leaps to the top rope, and turns backwards, leaping, and showing off every bit of ability he has here tonight, as he does a backwards Senton Bomb!! Reed climbs out of the ring, and slides in a table!! Reed
slides in, and sets it up, rolling Lopez onto it, as Arrows gets in the far corner away from it, and signals it's over with a corny little signal. Arrows leaps, and does a headbutt, going headfirst onto Lopez's shoulder, and
down through the table!!! Arrows' Point!!
GP: Arrows tags in Reed, and Reed picks Lopez up, nailing a standing spinebuster! He picks Lopez back up, and nails a jumping piledriver, and then picks him back up, and nails a stun gun! Lopez bounces backwards, and
spins aroud. Reed Double Underhooks him, lifts him up!! The Devastation!! Arrows climbs back in the ring with a chair!! Arrows sets it up!
JT: Ok, since you two know so much, what the hell are they going for now?
Nikki: I really don't know!
GP: Arrows swings Lopez to the ropes!!! Reed with a Drop Toe hold, and Arrows just nailed a DDT, sending Lopez face first into that chair!! Lopez's head just bounced off of that chair, and Reed makes a pin!!
GP: Fans, the team of Eric Reed, and Shawn Arrows, have succesfully won their first match together, and this team looks like it could be unstoppable if they keep this up.
Nikki: It seems like these guys want a microphone! One of our ring side personel just gave Arrows a microphone, and he's walking over to Lopez!
Shawn: Ahhh, Carlos!!! You NEVER figured it out..did you? Lop, you turned on me! You stabbed me in the back, one last time, and it brought back a memory, and it brought back a goal I've always had, that I had put on the sidelines. Thats why I challenged you to this match, because I knew, tonight would be the night, this goal was achieved.
Shawn takes his shirt off, revealing that he was wearing another shirt under it. A tank top. Arrows has on a white tank top..with yellow and black grifitti type designing all over it. He is also wearing a pair of baggy
white cargo pants, with the same yellow and black griffitti design covering them as well. Arrows then takes off the covers for his boots, to reveal that they have yellow and white gWa lettering. Soon after, Eric Reed does the
same, revealing the same outfit, as Arrows smiles down at Lopez.
Shawn: You never saw this coming, did you Carlos? All those years, you guys tried to run me, and my friends out of federations. Eric Reed was one of those guys, and still, when you got in the ring tonight, you never saw this moment coming. When you saw Eric Reed step out of the backstage area, you NEVER saw this coming. Why Carlos? Why do you have to be so stupid? You could have been a part of this newly formed alliance. You were the last remaining original gWa member. You were the last obstical in our way! We permanently removed that obstical tonight pal, and theres not a thing you can do about it.
Eric: Carlos. Your gWa was strong in numbers. But it lacked intelligence, and teamwork. As you have seen here tonight, the beginning of the new and improved gWa, has that teamwork, and we for damn sure outsmarted you, and everyone else in this federation.
Shawn: I always talked about how wrestling would beat jokes, and corny comebacks, and still, you didn't get the hidden message? Even when I said there was one..you didn't get it!! Whats wrong with you Carlos? Huh?!? The Greatest Wrestling Alliance, has formed, here tonight...and it's starting with Shawn Arrows..and Eric Reed. Carlos....goodbye pal. oh..just one last thing. Call me...from the hospital..and tell me how it feels to be..
Crowd chants along with Arrows: Blindsided By Reality!!
"IronMan" by Black Sabbath hits, as Shawn and Eric Smile, and slide out of the ring. They immediatly go over to Brian Williams, as Arrows sets up a chair. He swings him towards Reed, who grabs Williams lefting him up into a
3D position, and falling slowly, as Arrows runs, turns around, runs back, and nails a DDT to Williams, sendinh his head crashing through the chair, busting a hole in it. Reed and Arrows, then start laughing, pointing at the two fallen victims, as they walk back to the back, staring at the two.
Nikki:Hey guys... I'm going to get a closer look at this next match, I mean, it does involve me...
(Nikki drops her headset and takes off.)
GP:Hey, she must not be a slut, she hasn't given you head yet...
(All of a sudden, Nikki walks out from the back and joins the announce team.)
Shallow:Hey guys, long time no see...
GP:Yeah Shallow, what's up?
Shallow:JT, you're intellect never seems to surprise me.
Donnie Daze Vs. Ben O'Connor
High Stakes, Anywhere Falls Match
Shallow: Well, we're up now with a High Stakes, Anywhere Falls match! I can't wait!
JT: Ben O'Connor also making his IWO Debut in this match, so it should be a doozy.
GP: Why would he want Donnie Daze though? I mean, all Donnie did was shove a toilet brush down his mouth. Hell, that may have been cause to call a match in his IML days, but that behaviour is common place here.
("Down Under" by Men at Work plays as Ben O'Connor appears from Backstage and runs to the ring. )
Meygon: The following match is a High Stakes, Falls Count Anywhere Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 266 pounds, from The Back of Burke, Australia, Ben O'Connor!
('What's My Age Again?' by Blink 182 starts up as Donnie heads for the ring.)
Announcer: ...and his opponent, weighing in at 225 pounds, from Port St. Lucie , Florida, Donnie Daze!
GP: Whoa! Donnie gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Ben O'Connor as he runs to the ring. Donnie staying out now and he's pacing the ring slowly.
(ding, ding, ding)
JT: Ben O'Connor going outside after Donnie now, he goes for the charge...and he gets caught with an elbowsmash to the face!
Shallow: Donnie with a elbowsmash, and he follows that up with a knee takedown. O'Connor standing, and a jab to the ribs on Donnie Daze! Ben drops Donnie on the mat with a fist! And now these two having a bitch fight!
GP: O'Connor applies an arm wrench to Donnie, but an easy escape for Daze. O'Connor stomps on Donnie's head. Donnie trys for a inverted atomic drop but O'Connor avoids it, instead, Donnie piledrives O'Connor! Daze goes for a pin early! ...1 ...2 and a kickout by O'Connor.
Shallow: We almost had a winner there. It's interesting isn't it, two former IML World Champions hammering away for a 50 cent slut. It doesn't get better than this.
JT: Donnie Daze comes from behind and bulldogs Ben O'Connor. O'Connor using the security wall to help him get up, but Donnie Daze does a cartwheel and kicks Ben O'Connor in the face!
GP: O'Connor is down, and it looks like he's trying to get away! Why does he bother, he could have just let Donnie pin him.
Shallow: Ben making a dive into the crowd now, and Donnie isn't far behind him. It looks like these two going up to the top.
JT (sarcastically): That'll give all the cheapskates that didn't by Ringside tickets a thrill.
GP: Donnie Daze executes a cartwheel kick, and Ben O'Connor gets up, and he's got a blood nose! Wait! It's not over for the Australian! Ben grabs Donnie's head and arm and delivers a head and arm suplex!
JT: I wish every match could be like this!
Shallow: O'Connor puts Donnie in an arm grapevine submission, but that isn't going to work folks, the winner must win by Pinfall.
GP: Now Donnie standing. And Daze uppercuts Ben O'Connor! Donnie Daze chops Ben, and he follows that up as he rakes his fingers across Ben's back. Donnie hits Ben O'Connor with an elbowdrop.
Shallow: Ben O'Connor scrambles to his feet once again. Look at this audience they are full blown wankers.
JT: Why do you say that?
Shallow: Because they're barracking for O'Connor.
GP: I'd say they're just giving the new kid some support. Hell, it's his first match - might as well make it a good one.
JT: O'Connor heading to the top of the arena now, and he's climbing up the steel structure that supports our lights.
Shallow: Gee, that's going to accomplish a lot isn't it. How easy it'll be to pin someone's shoulders to the ground when your about 200 feet from the floor.
GP: Well, Donnie looks like he's following him up, and why not I say, nothing like taking a match anywhere but where it's supposed to go.
Shallow: Folks, if you've just joined us, Donnie Daze and Ben O'Connor fighting to win the heart of fellow IWO Announcer, Nikki. Donnie had one bad date with her, and Ben originally flirted with her during a live event,
so it's one-on-one here to win her heart. And as of now, both of them are swinging on the bars that support our lights like friggen' monkeys.
JT: Donnie has the speed on the larger, O'Connor and he's caught up to him quickly. Donnie laying the boots into O'Connor now, and if there's much more of that, the Ben could very well see stars shortly.
GP: If Ben, or indeed Donnie falls from there, I doubt they'll be seeing much at all.
Shallow: Donnie lays the boots in once again! They must be half a mile above the arena here, Donnie with another kick and...Oh my goodness! Ben O'Connor slipped! Ben O'Connor has slipped off the light beam supporting both him and Donnie!
JT: Yeah! But look where he is! He's caught onto Donnie's leg. Donnie now having to support himself and the Australian. And he's doing a good job, trying to take them both to the wall, where they can climb down.
GP: He's almost there, 5 metres, 2 metres, He's on the wall. O'Connor grabs onto the structure and boy is he making tracks to the arena floor quickly. Donnie also heading down, and it looks like O'Connor is waiting for
him. He's got the perfect chance to throw Donnie a good 6 or 7 feet onto the floor below.
Shallow: But Donnie's not going to let him! An elbow drop from about 15, 20 feet up! Straight into the head of Ben O'Connor! Damn this is great!
JT: Both men are former IML World Champions, and both are bitter enemys. It's no wonder that they'd jump at the chance to fight each other, even if Donnie does have another match this evening for the Tag Team championship.
GP: Donnie picking Ben up now, and he's taking him up to the ramp. O'Connor try's to lay a punch into Donnie but Donnie quickly slaps on a dragon sleeper. Ben O'Connor is nearly unconsious here folks, this is unbelivable.
They have climbed all over the arena, from one side to the other, and now they're heading backstage. Our camera's will keep with them folks.
Shallow: Both in the green room now, and Donnie slams Ben's head into the green room couch.
JT: Wait, what the hell's going on now, Donnie is leaving Ben on the floor and picking up the couch...what's he going to do with the couch?!
GP: We're about to see, Donnie's just rested the couch on Ben's left arm, the couch is being supported by the...
Shallow: Oh my goodness! Look at that! Donnie just dived onto the couch! That would have shattered Ben's arm no doubt! I can't belive it!
JT: It looks like Donnie could easily have gone for the pin now, but he persists in tourturing the IML promotee in his debut match mind you!
GP: Now where the hell is he taking him? It looks like they're in the editing room now, where all our camera feeds come together, I can't belive Donnie is torturing O'Connor like this, what a barberian!
(Donnie turns and looks at the camera following him.)
JT: Ahhhh, GP, did you forget that they can also here our commentary out there?
Donnie: You want barberic behaviour! You want something to talk about, have a look at this!
(Donnie picks Ben up and litereally spears him through the television monitors that are there.)
Shallow: Donnie Daze just smashed our editing equiptment, I hope those guys know what camera angle to change and when.
JT: The sparks are flying now, I can't get over this, they have climbed the arena, they have smashed the television equiptment, what else can they wreck before the nights out.
GP: Well, they're heading for the carpark now, so no doubt a few BMW's are about to get smashed. Donnie is dragging Ben around by the ear, that has to hurt.
Shallow: He's also picking him up by the ear and he smashes his whole body through the windscreen of the nearby Ferrari.
GP: Yep, and it looks like your Ferrari, JT.
JT: You cheep bastards!
Shallow: Actually, I don't know about cheep, that's probably going to be quite expensive to fix.
GP: Donnie has O'Connor once more, and it looks like he's returning to the editing room.
Shallow: No, I don't think so, they're coming back to the ring.
JT: ....my car....
GP: They are to, Donnie bringing Ben into the ring, and he's going to end it all here, Daze hit's O'Connor with a 'Dazed and Confused,' and the promotee is out! Daze going for the cover...there's the 1...there's the 2...and there's the 3, it's all over! Daze has taken Ben throuughout the whole arena here, and he could have pinned him absolutley anywhere. Absolutley anywhere, but instead, he brought him back to the ring, slapped on a Dazed and
Confused, and went for the pin! And it's only early in the night folks! Imagine what the rest of the night's going to be like!!!
Shallow: Donnie heading backstage, possibly to get some off Nikki, and we have some EMT's coming to help O'Connor, we might take a breather and cross backstage as well.
(Nikki runs over to Daze, as she grabs his arm.)
Donnie Daze:I Don't even want the slut anymore...
(Daze tosses her off, as she falls down. She goes over to O'Connor, as we fade back in to the arena.)
United States Title Match
Cyanide-c- vs. Ash Robinson vs. Simon Seaman vs. Kevin Martin vs. The ID
GP: What a great night we've had fans. One event after another and we are already to our next title match, which is for the United States Title held by "Mr. Bigtime" Cyanide.
JT: Cyanide is going down tonight. It's time for him to step down and let a true champion run the division, and that man should be the Id.
Nikki: Well as everyone has seen in the past week, Cyanide and Ash Robinson have been shouting words out toward each other. However, this distraction may cause a little distraction of itself with 5 men in the ring at
once. A match like that with one pin fall, anything can happen.
[All five men are in the ring after a 15 minute introduction period.]
GP: And we're ready to get things underway. And just as expected, the defending champ Cyanide and Ash Robinson attack head first. Cyanide tackles Ash and begins to deliver lefts and rights to the face of Ash.
JT: On the other side of the ring, Kevin Martin, the Id, and Simon Seaman are all circling around the ring, waiting to see who will attack first.....and we're waiting....and we're still waiting...
Nikki: Meanwhile, Cyanide has Ash Robinson and delivers a shouldbreaker to Ash Robinson. Cyanide lifts Ash up and POWERBOMB! We could have a quick victory here! The ref counts!
NO!! Simon Seaman came out of no where and saved the match from ending. Seaman now has Cyanide up and nails a scoop slam.
JT: Kevin Martin and The Id...still circling....OH WAIT! They lock up. Kevin Martin puts the Id into a headlock....What the?? Kevin Martin is screaming in pain....
GP: THE ID IS BITING KEVIN MARTIN'S BOOBS!! HE IS BITING K-MART'S NIPPLE!!
Nikki: Hmmmm...I love it when guys bite my nipple...
JT: As many guys as you have been with...do you still have nipples?
GP: The Id now in control of Kevin Martin as he performs a side slam on The Id. He makes a cover...
No! Kickout. Boob biting is not enough to keep K-mart down.
Nikki: On over to the other side of the ring, Ash Robinson and Simon Seaman are double teaming the champ. Ash Robinson lifts Cyanide up and facebuster. Seaman climbs to the top rope and nails a 450 degree splash!!! SEAMAN WITH THE COVER!!
TH..NO!! ASH ROBINSON KICKED HIM OFF. ASH WITH THE COVER!!
THR...NOOO!! SEAMAN WITH THE SAVE! Neither of these men want to give up this shot.
JT: Seaman and Ash now attacking each other. Seaman with a headlock on Ash. Ash sends Simon to the ropes, he ducks under, Seaman with a clothesline, Ash ducks...Seaman coming back at Ash and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!! BOTH MEN DOWN!
GP: Over to the other side, Kevin Martin has now taken over control of The Id and is sitting him up for the Big K!! And is successful!! Kevin Martin makes the cover...
THRE...NOOO!!CYANIDE OUT OF NO WHERE JUST SAVED HIS OWN TITLE!
Nikki: Cyanide now taking over the match with vicious chops in the turnbuckle. He climbs up the turnbuckle and Superplex! This could be it!
JT: WAIT A SECOND!! OUT OF NO WHERE THE ID JUST SAT UP AND LOW-BLOWED CYANIDE!! Cyanide is bent over holding himself and SNAP DDT! THE ID WITH A COVER.
ON...He didn't even get a one count as Ash Robinson breaks up the pin. The Id had him!!
GP: Look at this, all four men now have Cyanide in the corner and are pummeling him with kicks and punches. This isn't looking good for the champ.
JT: You know guys, this whole Major Push Tournament has been really making me horny....Hey Nikki?
Nikki: What JT...as if I already didn't know?
JT: Can I be your Tournament and be your Major Push??
[Nikki gets ready to slap him but JT slaps himself]
JT: HAHA! BEAT YA!
JT: That's not fair...
GP: Anyway, back to the action....Simon Seaman now has Cyanide up on the top rope...but Kevin Martin is trying to pull him back. Wait, Kevin Martin turns around and SHADOW KICK! ASH ROBINSON CAUGHT MARTIN WITH THE SHADOW KICK!
JT: TURN AROUND ID!!!!! NOOO!! ROBINSON JUST SHADOW KICKED THE ID TOO!!
Nikki: What is Ash doing? Ash Robinson is rolling both men outside of the ring! He could have pinned either one of them and been the United States Champion now!
GP: It's simple Nikki, he wants Cyanide. Speaking of Cyanide, Simon Seaman still up at the top as he prepares to, yes...it's going to be...YES!! THE SILENCER!! SIMON SEAMAN JUST NAILED THE SILENCER!! But wait, Ash with the quick cover...
THR....NOOOO!!! SEAMAN WITH THE KICK TO THE BACK! SEAMAN LIFTS UP ASH AND GERMAN SUPLEX!
JT: It looks like Seaman is taking control of this match. Ash Robinson looks hurt....Seaman lifts Robinson to his feet. ROBINSON REVERSES IT INTO A SMALL CRADLE! THE COUNT!
THRE...NO! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! I CAN'T BELIEVE SEAMAN KICKED OUT!
Nikki: Robinson has come SO close to winning this title. Whatever happened to Kevin Martin and The Id?
GP: Let's see...Kevin Martin and The Id slowly getting back to their feet outside of the ring...Kevin Martin staggers up first...
JT: WAIT A SECOND!! ASH ROBINSON JUST LIFTED SIMON SEAMAN UP ABOVE HIS HEAD!
AND HE TOSSES HIM OUTSIDE OF THE RING! ROBINSON JUST TOOK OUT THREE MEN! NOW
ALL HE HAS TO DO IS MAKE THE COVER ON CYANIDE!! MY GOD WHAT A MATCH!
Nikki: LOOK AT THIS!! CYANIDE IS TO HIS FEET!! HE TURNS ROBINSON AROUND...THE MOVE FORMERLY KNOWN AS!! CYANIDE IS SIGNALLING FOR TESTICULAR TERMINATION! HE NAILS IT!! THE COUNT!
HERE COMES! SEAMAN BACK INTO THE RING!
MARTIN AND THE ID FLY INTO THE RING....SEAMAN DIVES!!!
GP:OH MY GOD! It's Chaos! Complete Chaos! ID is climbing to his feet, SHADOW KICK BY ROBINSON! ROBINSON COVERS ID! 1-2-3! HE JUST STOLE IT! HE JUST STOLE THE WIN THROUGHOUT THIS CHAOS!
(Robinson slides out and grabs the United States Title. He runs back up the stage and to the backstage area.)
Ring Announcer:You're winner, and NEW IWO United States Champion... ASH "Shadow" Robinson!!!
2nd Round Major Push Tournament Match
Chamber of Horrors match
Sam Potright vs.Jack Night
GP: Fans, it's been an interesting night to say the least. And this push tourney has really taken off and we're just gonna keep moving right along with Sam Potright facing off with Jack Night in a chamber of horrors match. And of course, since this is Potright's first match, by rules of the tourney, all champs must defend their title in their first match so this match is for the Extreme title.
JT: And I don't see a reason why that crazy ass Potright wouldn't stop now in the tourney as psycho of a fighter he is.
Shallow: I dunno, Jack has a lot of potential to beat Potright and go on in this tourney. This will be a very interesting match to say the least.
GP: Well fans, for those of you who have not seen a Chamber of Horrors match before, here is how it works. This match will take place in a hell in the cell type of cage, but the catch is there is an electric chair in the
very center of the ring. The objective of the match is to put your opponent in that chair and turn on the juice and shock the everloving hell out of them. Let's go to the ring and get this show on the road.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is a second round match in the IWO Major Push Tournament and is for the IWO Extreme title. This will be a Chamber of Horrors match in which you must put your opponent into this electric chair and shock them. Coming to the ring first.....
("Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine plays as Jack Night walks out from the back with a crowbar in hand.)
Ring Announcer: Accompanied to the ring by Inbred Jed....he is....Jack Night!!!!!!!!!!!!! And his opponent.....
("Faster Grace" by Custom plays as crazy Sam Potright walks out from the back.)
Ring Announcer: Accompanied to the ring by Beth Potright, he is the reigning IWO Extreme Champion, he is Sam Potright!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Potright walks inside the cage and stares down Night.)
*Ding Ding Ding*
GP: And there's the bell. Potright now slides into the ring where the waiting Night stands with a crowbar in hand. Night runs around the electric chair and swings at Potright, but Potright ducks and kicks Night in the midsection. Now Potright takes the crowbar himself and nails Night across the back of the head. Now Sam is starting to choke Night out with that crowbar.
JT: I told you this man was crazy.
Shallow: Well Potright takes Night and sends him over the top rope. Potright climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a cross body block onto Night. Now he picks up Night and slams his head into the cage followed up with a DDT on the outside. Potright goes to the feet of Night and twists his knee around and pulls tight!
JT: Potright has got that kneelock on tight but Night grabs Potright by the head and rolls him up with a small package to escape the hold. Now Night, limpingly, gets up and clotheslines Potright to the ground. He reaches
inside the ring and grabs the crowbar and begins to repeatedly nail Potright across the back with it!
GP: Night picks Potright up and irish whips him into the other end of the cage as Night follows in with a hugh splash on Potright! Night now trying to gain more advantage by grabbing the ring steps. He turns around, but
Potright is up and waiting! He dropkicks Night, sending him back and sandwiching his head in between the pole and the steps!
Shallow: Last ditch effort by Potright.
JT: Well now Potright grabs the ring steps and slams them down on Night. Potright begins to stomp away on Night now. Potright, picks up Night and lifts him up for a vertical suplex....no! It's a brainbuster onto the
GP: Potright takes Night and rolls him back to the inside. Sam jumps up onto the apron. He pulls himself over the top rope and executes a leg drop onto Night. Now Potright takes Night and sits him down in the chair.
JT: He's gonna try to end this right here!
Shallow: Well Night stops that by kicking Potright in the midsection. Now Night hops up out of the chair and slams Potright's head onto the seat of the chair. Night grabs Potright from behind and german suplexes him
across the ring. Night runs, springboards of the ropes, and executes a huge splash on Potright!
GP: Now Night rolls to the outside and looks under the ring and finds a table sitting underneath. He drags it out from under the ring and sets it up on the outside. Night reaches inside the ring and pulls Potright out and
lays him across the table. Night climbs back into the ring and jumps up on the electric chair. Night dives off the chair, over the ropes, for the table but Potright moves and Jack Night goes sailing through the table!
JT: Well, Potright now takes the fallen Night and throws him into the door which just happens to open. Now Potright follows Night to the outside and stomps on his head. He picks up Night and slams his head into the
guardrail, but Night elbows Potright in the midsection and scoop slams him down to the ground. Night now goes back to the cage and begins to climb the side of it.
Shallow: Well Night reaches the top where he is now taunting Potright to come up there to fight.
GP: It seems Sam is gonna take him up on that offer and start to climb. Potright is about halfway up now while Night prepares for his arrival.
JT: Well Potright is about to reach the top but Night starts to nail Potright on the head with several lefts and rights. Night has now got Potright hanging for his life. He is now stepping on the left of Potright and makes him let go of the cage. He is now holding on with one hand. Night begins to step on the other hand, but Potright grabs Night by the foot and trips him up. He now pulls himself to the top of the cage and starts to pound away on Night!
GP: Well Potright made it, let's see if he can follow it up. He picks Night up and slams him down onto the bare metal. Potright then follows up with a leg drop. Sam picks Night up and goes for a piledriver but Night
reverses it with a backdrop onto the cage! Now Night grabs the head of Potright and begins to slam his head onto the cage. Night picks up Potright and goes for a powerbomb, but Potright grabs the legs of Night and sends him to his back. Potright then kicks Night right in the nuts!
Shallow: Well Potright picks up Night and powerbombs him right right through the cage! Night falls through all the way to the mat! Potright now jumps through the hole and lands on Night with a knee drop!
JT: Well Potright picks up Night and sends him into the ropes and catches him with a spinebuster slam! Now Potright picks up Night and goes for the War Within a Breath! But Night reverses it and executes a belly-to-back
suplex on Potright. Now Night takes Potright and sits him in the chair and puts the electric thingy on his head.
GP: But look! Potright double kicks Night and tackles him from the chair! Potright takes Night and executes the War Within a Breath and it's complete! Now he sets Night in the chair! Potright goes over and pulls the switch!
Night is frying in the chair! This match is over!
*Ding Ding Ding*
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the winner, and still IWO Extreme Champion and advancing in this tournament.....Sam Potright!!!!!!!!!!!
GP: Well Jack Night is continuing to fry as Potright walks off with his title in hand. Some of the crew comes down with fire extinguishers and put out Night. Well fans, that was a hell of a match but it's time to move on.
((The fans are screaming loudly for the beginning of the next match when suddenly, the IWOtron images flicker and we find ourselves in a rather dark room with the blacked out image of a man sitting down, as the only thing we can see. He has a familiar figure but it's too dim to tell exactly who he may be. As the man begins to speak, his voice has been altered to shadow his identity.))
Man- Hahaha...the IWO. You know, I could once say that this promotion was perhaps easily the greatest in
the entire world. But look at the new low that it's stooped too. People like Jack Night holding the Extreme Title and other stupid shit like that. What's the deal? Where did the IWO go from the greatest promotion in the free world, to a cheap ass kid's show where anyone and their left testical could hold a title? Someone please, answer that for me. Well, for all of you IWO fans out there, I am here to relieve you of the constant ignorant and plain out shitty content that the IWO continues to force feed you all week after boring ass week. Yes, I have finally
arrived to bring back some sort of dignity to this once wonderful promotion. Yes, I am here now to re-define what the IWO once stood for. I am here...to show everyone...that the IWO means fucking business.
Man- I'm the one, that's going to bring back the extremness that the IWO once had. I am the one that will put the IWO back on the map, and recover it from it's sudden downward trend. I'll show anyone and everyone willing, that I'm the most vulgar, rude, lewd, crude, extreme, hardcore, and talented fucking wrestler, the IWO has ever seen, and ever will see. Sure, greats like Capital Punishment, ?¿?, Dane Wilt, Ken War, and Al Coholic once wrestled here. Keyword in that sentence: once. It's time now, for a new breed of wrestler to emmerge here in the IWO. It's time now, for a new era in the IWO to arise. It's time, that fans can actually be proud they bought a
ticket to a piss-poor IWO event. And once I step into the IWO squared circle, ticket and merchandise sells
will sky rocket and the people will finally be glad they can actually come and watch a REAL athelete perform.
Man- But, perform for them? No, I don't think so. No, because that's not what I'm here for. I'm not here to help the IWO gain some glory back, although they will. No, I'm not here to give the fans a good show. I'm here for two reasons. One, I get paid. And two, I get to hurt people. And those two reasons alone, are enough to make me sign a contract with a company like the IWO. So, I'm sure you're all wondering exactly who this is. Well, wait. You'll all find out soon enough. As for now, continue to sit here and watch this pathetic show that the IWO calls
"professional wrestling". The more and more I think about it, the more and more I become sick to my stomach at the fact that a company that continues to show piss-poor wrestling like this, is actually still in business. I mean, exactly who's ass are THEY kissing? Anyhow, to make a long story short...I have arrived. No, don't all rush to me at once even though I know the temptation will be hard to resist. Everyone's least most favorite wrestler, mostly because I tend to insult your stupid fucking asses...is here. Be ready.
((The IWOtron fades back to the IWO logo, and then fades back to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.))
GP:What the hell...
JT:Don't ask Greg... JUST DON'T ASK!
Second Round Tournament Match
Syphon Fission vs. Mike Marchese
GP: Aaaand, we're back!
Nikki: Well, Mike Marchese has legally murdered Schitzo Tod and he'll meet Syphon Fission here in the second round.
GP: And it's a ROOFTOP RUMBLE!
Nikki: Let's go to the roof!
JT: Excuse me here, but how fucking lame is this? I mean, NO ONE DIES IN THIS MATCH. They have some lame net that prevents death and that really STEAMS MY GIBLETS.
GP: Ha ha.
("Kernkraft 400" by Zombie Nation plays as Mike Marchese (and Skip) come out to a huge pop from the fans, which Marchese doesn't here considering he's on a really tall building.)
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one REALLY LONG ASSED FALL. First, MIKE MARCHESE!
Ring Announcer: AND HIS OPPONENT!
("The Hollow" by A Perfect Circle plays as Syphon Fission steps onto the roof to a chorus of boos. Syphon doesn't here, but deep down inside, Syphon probably wants to hurt somebody.)
Ring Announcer: From Seattle, Washington... weighing in at 265 pounds, he would've been accompanied by Quinn and Carmen Jackson, but since he's on the roof, HE'S NOT. He is the master of the Death Plunge and many
say he is the best pure wrestler in the IWO today... ladies and gentlemen, HE IS SYYYYPPPPPHHHHHOOOONNNNN FIIIIISSSSSSSIIIIIIOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
*ding, ding, doink*
JT: What the hell?
(Fission and Marchese brawl. A lot. They brawl and brawl and throw rights and lefts and basically go GRR at one another.)
(Fission ducks a roundhouse right, kicks Marchese in the gut, and DDTs him on the cold concrete. Marchese and Skip probably lost a lot of brain cells doing that, too.)
Nikki: I thought he was executed in Parts Unknown, Wyoming.
(Fission picks up Marchese with the intention of dumping him over the edge, but Marchese low blows him, picks up a board from the floor, and whacks Fission in the face with it.)
Marchese: Now Skip... what have I told you about whacking big scary guys named Syphon with large boards of wood?
(Marchese hits Fission over the head with it again.)
Marchese: Yes, Skip. When you do it once... YOU MUST DO IT MANY MORE TIMES!
(Marchese starts beating Fission with the board until he gets bored, which is after the third hit.)
GP: Doink WAS executed in Parts Unknown, Wyoming.
(Marchese drops the board and kicks Fission in the ribs. He does it again, since he's following Skip Logic right now. Skip Logic is what we just mentioned... do it once, do it many mores times. Which is why Fission takes a third kick to the ribs.)
JT: So why did the bell go "doink"?
(Marchese tries to pick Fission up, but Fission waves his arms outward, breaking Marchese's grip on him, then nails Marchese with an inverted atomic drop. Not satisfied, Fission rears back and nails Marchese with a vicious clothesline that damn near decapitates poor Marchese(and to an extent, poor Skip).)
GP: Damned if I know. Why are you asking?
(Syphon drops an elbow on Marchese, picks up the board that Marchese hit him with, and smacks Marchese in the face with it. Fission drops the board and stomps on Marchese a couple of times. Fission picks up Marchese and kicks him in the gut, then bulldogs him down.)
JT: Well, I figured that I should, considering that I find it VERY FUCKING ODD THAT THE BELL WOULD SAY DOINK INSTEAD OF DING.
(While JT is saying very fucked up things, Syphon Fission is doing a standard issue Syphon Fission asskicking to Mike Marchese. He drops a leg on Marchese and goes for a cover. Fission proceeds to slap himself because he just remembered the rules for the match again. Fission grabs Marchese's arm, but Marchese suddenly swings his leg out and kicks Fission in the back of the knee, causing Fission to kneel suddenly. The sudden kneeling causes the rest of Fission's body to collapse to the floor or something. Marchese rolls to his feet and begins his stomping on Fission. Meanwhile, the announcers are being dumbfucks and are arguing about Doink the Clown.)
GP: JT, does it really MATTER if it says "Doink" or "Ding"?
(Marchese picks up Fission and sets him up for a vertical suplex, and picks him up with it, but Fission twists his body around to where he lands behind Marchese. He grabs Marchese in a waistlock and nails him with a released German Suplex that would probably end any other match in the universe. Unfortunately, this happens to be a Rooftop Rumble, which is pretty pointless with the net. If I were writing the rules, we'd save this match for a Loser Leaves The IWO And Dies At The Same Time match, but... oh, right. So Fission picks up Marchese and sets him up for Death Plunge.)
JT: YES IT DOES!
(Unfortunately for Syphon Fission, Mike Marchese decided today that he didn't want to be Death Plunged, so he backdrops Fission. Fission holds on and rocks Marchese back into a sunset flip. This is pretty god damned stupid on Fission's part, considering that pins don't count. Marchese rolls through the sunset flip, crawls up, and pins Fission. Fission pushes Marchese's head down and he flips into another pin. But Marchese rolls forward to pin Fission. Fission, who has Marchese in an inverted waistlock, powers/bridges out, twists his body around until it ends up being a backslide. Suddenly, Fission releases one of the arms, spins Marchese around, and nails him with a urange. Hey, at least I know my damned wrestling.)
(Marchese, who is currently having a heart to heart talk with both Skip and the ground, is suddenly picked up by Syphon Fission, who isn't exactly DONE with Mike Marchese yet. Fission picks Marchese up to a vertical base, ducks down so he grabs his legs and drops him right into a concrete wall with a sort-of flapjack. Ow ow ow ow ow. Pain and misery for Mike Marchese!)
JT: Because I JUST WANT TO KNOW! IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO ASK, YOU KNOW!?
(Meanwhile, Marchese is probably bleeding by now, although I'm never sure of things like that. Oh, there's another low blow by Marchese. And a swinging neckbreaker. Gotta love the swinging neckbreakers. Unless
they seriously do break your neck. Marchese picks Fission up again and nails him with a Northern Lights Suplex. He rolls through and tries it again, but Fission counters the second with a DDT.)
Nikki: I demand a raise after this match is over.
(Fission tries for Death Plunge again, but Marchese pulls Fission's legs out from under him and slingshots him... damn near close to the edge. Seizing the opportunity, Marchese tries to shove Fission off of the roof, but Syphon will have none of it, so he mulekicks Marchese in the Skip, and sets him up for a powerbomb.)
JT: Shut up, whore.
(Fission gets Marchese up in the powerbomb, but Marchese counters into a hurracanrana. Marchese starts punching at Fission's head and until he feels like stopping.)
(Marchese stops, then tries to set up Fission for a powerbomb of his own. Unfortunately, Fission picks him up and holds him in a mid-backdrop position... then suddenly drops down, creating a backdrop tombstone
that damn near KILLIFIED Mike Marchese. Since Marchese is dead, or close to it, Fission figures that he should throw him off the damned tower now.)
GP: Uh, what happened?
JT: What do you mean?
GP: WHILE WE WERE ARUGING ABOUT DOINK THE CLOWN, THIS MATCH LOOKS TO BE OVER!
GP: Time flies when you argue about Doink.
GP: Marchese is in trouble, and Fission sets him up for a powerbomb!
JT: Fission picks him up... but Marchese tries to counter with a hurracanrana!
GP: BUT IT'S BLOCKED BY FISSION! FISSION IS WALKING TOWARD THE EDGE!
JT: Good GOD! He's not going to do what I think he's going to do, is he?!
Nikki: GANSO BOMB! GANSO BOMB OFF THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING TO THE NET BELOW! SYPHON FISSION HAS WON THIS MATCH!
*ding, ding, ding*
("The Hollow" by A Perfect Circle plays as the ring announcer makes the offical word.)
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match, and advancing to the next round of the Major Push Tournament... SYPHON FISSION!!!!!!
GP: Uh, what a match.
JT: We never watched the match.
Second Round Tournament Match
Spaz vs. Scott Stone
GP: It's time for another second round match!
JT: WHOOO! Guys that matter!
Nikki: What's the gimmick for this match?
GP: It's... (tears open envelope) A HELL'S DUNGEON MATCH?!!
JT: BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD! YEAAAAAAAAAAAA - HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
GP: Well, this might be good. The place where Mick Foley and Shawn Michaels battled in what Mick calls the best match of his career is going to hold a Hell's Dungeon match!
JT: Ken War's Demonic Self may show up!
GP: He might...
(Scott Stone enters the Hell's Dungeon cage. It's a HIAC covered in barbed wire, explosives all around one corner, thumbtacks in another corner, a heater in another corner, and vasoline tables and a blowtorch in the final
corner. Stone cracks his neck as he awaits Spaz.)
JT: Where's Spaz?
(Spaz shows up behind Stone. He slowly sneaks in with a pair of moon shoes and a rope... he hopes over the cage... lands inside... and takes off the shoes. He picks one up and tosses it at Stone.)
GP: Stone finally sees Spaz! And this match is underway! Spaz charges Stone, Stone charges Spaz! Stone goes for a spear, Spaz with a hurdle, and STONE GOES HEAD-FIRST INTO THE BARBED WIRE! SCOTT STONE'S ALREADY BUSTED OPEN, AND NOW SPAZ HAS HIS HEAD -- HE'S RUBBING IT INTO THE DAMN CAGE MESH! GOOD GOD, THAT'S SICK! AND SPAZ SENDS STONE'S HEAD INTO THE CAGE FOR GOOD MEASURE!
Nikki: Now Spaz is taking Stone... he picks him up above those thumbtacks.... NO! STONE USES HIS WEIGHT FOR A REVERSAL, LANDS, HANGMAN'S DDT INTO THE THUMBTACKS! BUT BOTH MEN GO IN!
JT: This is bloody early!
GP: Stone rolls out of those thumbtacks... Spaz has already had a match tonight, so Stone would seem to have the freshness advantage... Spaz rolling from those tacks. Stone picks up a blunt piece of wood and smacks Spaz in the head with it! Again! Again, no, Spaz blocks it! Spaz thwacks Scott Stone right on the ear with that block of wood! And now Scott is clutching his ear with it! Spaz might have busted Scott Stone's ear!
JT: Ouch. Ear infections hurt...
Nikki: But Spaz doesn't care about Stone's ear problem! He lifts up Stone... EMERALD FUSION IN THE CENTER OF THE CELL! And remember, this takes place away from the ring, so that's concrete! Stone clutching his head... Spaz heading towards the heater. He lifts him up to throw him... STONE SLIDES TO A STOP! SPAZ GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE, STONE DUCKS! And Spaz sizzles like a fresh fish on a barbecue!
JT: Spaz clutching his arm like a baby... Stone with a Fameasser! He goes for a cover, but the only way to win is a 10 count! Stone realizes it; I'm surprised he realized it that fast, the moron! Now Stone looking around... he
points to the cage! He's going to throw Spaz into the cage! He runs, he runs...
GP: OW! BOTH MEN FLY INTO THE CELL WALL! AND BOTH MEN ARE SCRATCHED BEYOND BELIEF! SPAZ AND SCOTT STONE ARE DOWN! And a count begins!
JT: Wait... who's counting?
Nikki: Why, none other than... THE COUNT!
The Count: Vun! Two! Three! Ha ha ha! Vour! Vive! Six! Seven!
GP: And the two get to their feet. Spaz tries to take Stone's head off with a lariat, but Stone catches his arm, armbar, wraps behind him... Spaz grabs the leg, Stone falls down... and Stone kicks Spaz in the ass and sends him
straight into the heater again! Spaz is in pain, and he falls back! Stone rolls to his feet, and with blood dripping down his body, he picks up some thumbtacks and tosses them at Spaz!
JT: That was the worst call in the history of pro wrestling.
GP: Let's see you do better.
JT: Okay... Spaz is in major pain, but Scott Stone doesn't care as he steps on those thumbtacks, driving them into the skin of the former tag team wrestler! Spaz is in throes of pain right now, writhing his arms and trying
to bring the pain away from the tacks! Stone waits for the Count to begin counting...
The Count: Vun! Two! Three! Vour! Vive! Six! Seven! Eight!
GP: Spaz gets to his knees and pushes himself to his feet. He pulls the thumbtacks from his body...
Nikki: How disgusting!
JT: Hey, I'm still doing play-by-play here! Spaz drops a few of those pins from his body... and begins to stalk towards Stone! Stone backs away... Spaz goes for a punch! Stone moves out of the way! Spaz barely misses a fist fight with a barbed-wire chain-link fence! Stone comes from behind, he could full-nelson slam Spaz! He lifts him up, SPAZ FLIPS OVER, he picks up Stone and stumbles back, and A GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THOSE EXPLOSIVES!!
* BOOM BOOM BOOM *
JT: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! PAIN! SUFFERING! I LOVE IT!
GP: Isn't that Lunatic Pandora's line?
JT: He likes agony, too... not to say that I don't like it myself, but still... I enjoy pain and suffering more. Now Spaz is rolling away from the smoke and smog that's billowing from those explosives... Scott Stone is somewhere in that mess. Spaz rolling to his feet... but can there be a count when you can't see through the smoke?
GP: OUT FROM THE SMOKE COMES SCOTT STONE! OUT FROM THE SMOKE, LIKE A BAT IN THE NIGHT, SCOTT STONE HAS JUST SPEARED SPAZ! AND THE TWO ARE GOING AT IT! ROLLING BACK AND FORTH ON THE GROUND! STONE SLAMMING SPAZ'S HEAD INTO THE GROUND! SPAZ WITH A KNEE TO STONE'S SCROTUM! STONE CLUTCHING IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS, SPAZ PICKS HIM BACK UP, HEAD-AND-ARM SUPLEXES HIM!
JT: Spaz pushes himself...
GP: What the hell is he doing?
Spaz: WHAT! .... GET THE TABLES!
Nikki: And the crowd is cheering this! Spaz goes and gets a table covered in vasoline... he sets it up... and he's got that blowtorch! He lights it!
JT: BURNING TABLES! FLAMING TABLES! FIRE FIRE FIRE!
GP: He's going for Scott Stone... lifts him up... SKY HIGH THROUGH THE TABLE! STONE IS BURNT LIKE NO OTHER! Spaz pulls himself from that mess... he's got a flaming piece of the table! HE'S STABBING SCOTT STONE IN THE HEAD! GOOD GOD, HE'S DRAGGING THAT PIECE OF THE TABLE ALL OVER SCOTT STONE'S FACE! HE JUST PIERCED SCOTT STONE'S EAR WITH THE FLAMING TABLE PIECE!
JT: YES! Do more! He rips part of that ear out! Call him Scott "Cactus" Stone, because Spaz is tacking that ear to death! Now Spaz heading back to Stone... he just drags that table piece across the head of Scott Stone! Stone
is probably out of it, but it seems like.... YES! HE'S CARVING HIS NAME INTO SCOTT STONE'S SKULL! AND NOW HE'S GOING TO CARVE SOMETHING INTO SCOTT STONE'S CHEST! No... he changes his mind, apparently. Spaz has dominated this match.
Nikki: Well, Scott Stone is out of shock and is screaming... now Spaz seems to want to experiment. He's got another vasoline table... and he's carrying it over to the heater. What in God's name is he doing?
GP: Oh. OH! He's lit the table on fire by using the heater! That's how hot the damn thing is! AND A SCREAMING STONE PUSHES HIM INTO THE TABLE AND HEATER! NOW SPAZ IS BURNING! Stone falls over.... Spaz is down and out, most likely.
The Count: VUN! TWO! THREE! VOUR! VIVE! SIX! SEVEN!
GP: Stone is pulling himself up... and he drags Spaz from the wreckage! He lays a boot to Spaz's upper torso -- SPAZ HAS HIS LEG! SPAZ HAS HIS LEG! HE LOCKS IN AN ANKLELOCK, AND SCOTT STONE'S FACE GOES RIGHT NEAR THAT HEATER! THE HEAT MUST BE UNBEARABLE!
Nikki: Good god! Spaz tightens up his grip on that anklelock! Scott Stone's face... IT'S PEELING! THERE'S SKIN BEGINNING TO PEEL FROM HIS FACE! SICK! SICK SICK SICK! Now Spaz lets go of the anklelock... Stone is clutching his face... Spaz locks on a Camel Clutch! He is sick... and HE PUSHES STONE'S FACE AGAINST THAT SEARING HOT METAL! He pulls back... Stone is in massive pain. Spaz is limping around... he's bleeding... but he drags Stone to the center of the Cell.
JT: And now he's going for a table! He's setting it up in the corner of explosives, where some still remain! He's got that blowtorch... the table's on fire again! He would... HE BETTER!
Nikki: No, he shouldn't!
JT: Yes, he should! AND HE IS!! YEAH HEAH HEAH! He's got Scott Stone on his shoulder... Spaz is going to... HE POWERSLAMS SCOTT STONE INTO THE FLAMING TABLE, THROWING SCOTT STONE INTO THE EXPLOSIVES! BOOM BOOM BOOM, PAIN!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The Count: Who gives a vuck? Vhere is no way anyvone vill get up from that. VUN! TWO! THREE! VOUR! VIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!
(The bell rings, and The Count raises Spaz's hand.)
GP: Well, that was a horrible match.
JT: It was bloody. I give it two thumbs up!
Nikki: That was ugly, that was... ugh. Did he have to carve his name into Scott Stone's head, and rip off part of his ear?
Utter Obliteration Match
Donnie Daze vs. Sam Potright vs. Mike Extreme
GP: IT'S TIME FOR THE UTTER OBLITERATION MATCH!!
Nikki: This is going to be sick... I don't like it.
JT: Oh, you don't like it because your little male prostitute is in the match!
Nikki: Shut up! Donnie is not a male prostitute...although, that would be a pretty good roleplaying activity...
GP: Um... let's go to the ring! NOW!
Meygon: This following matchup... is the Third Annual Utter Obliteration Match! Contested in this ring around me, weapons such as barbed-wire tables, explosive boards, ladders, chairs, and other weapons will be laid around the ring! The ropes have been replaced with barbed-wire, and the only way to win... is to make your opponent say "I QUIT!"
(The crowd pops. "In Vein" by The Haunted plays.)
Meygon: Introducing first... his reasoning for this match comes from a long-time hatred for Donnie Daze and the sudden turning on him by his "father", Sam Potright... he is a former "brother", a former IWO TV champion, an ex-Extreme champion, and has been recognized as one of the epitomes of extreme... a high-rising star in the IWO... here is, MIKE EXTREEEEEEME!
(Mike Extreme walks out with a barbed-wire two-by-four on his shoulder. He looks around at the crowd, lowers his head, and walks to the ring. He slides under the barbed-wire and raises the 2x4 in the air, to a mixed reaction.
("In Vein" fades... and "Dumpweed" by Blink 182 replaces it. The crowd boos.)
Meygon: Introducing second... one of the hot young rookies of the IWO... his reasoning for being in this match is pure hatred for his former stablemates... he is a former "brother" of the Misunderstood Family... he has yet to garner a major singles title in the IWO... but he is recognized as one of the future leaders of the company... here is the "King of Marco Polo", a former 2-time IML Champion, the man that killed Wesley Sanders and bid it on eBay, and then took Andrew's pride and did the same thing... ladies and gentlemen, here is DONNIE DAZE!
(Daze walks out with a trash can. He opens it up, pulls out something...)
GP: IT'S A ROTTING BANANA WITH MIKE EXTREME WRITTEN ON IT! What a jackass he is.
JT: HAHAHAHA! That's funny!
(Daze continues his walk to the ring... he circles around it and passes a barbed-wire table. "Dumpweed" fades... and the crowd grows silent. Finally, "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" by U2 comes in, and the crowd goes nuts.)
Meygon: And, introducing a veteran of the IWO... his reasoning for being in this contest is for the mere fact that he believes Mike Extreme to be a bad wrestler and for Donnie Daze turning his back on him... he was the "father" and propietor of the Misunderstood Family... he is a former 2-time IWO I/C Tag Team Champion, a former Pacific champion, a former 2-time Extreme champion... formerly of the Outcasts, and accompanied by his wife, Beth... also known as Lunatic Pandora... considered one of the future World champions of the IWO... he has faced everyone, from Joey Rappaport to Phelen Kell, and overcome them... he is SAM POTRIGHT!!!
(The music continues to play, but no one comes out. The music cuts off.)
Meygon: Um.... he is SAM POTRIGHT!
Meygon: Here is...
(The lights go out.)
GP: I think we're experiencing difficulties...
("The Beautiful People" hits.)
JT: Never mind!
(The lights return, and out sprints Sam Potright with a shopping cart full of weapons. He stops at the apron and tosses the cart into the ring, then rolls in. He and Extreme begin punching each other. Daze slides into the ring with his trash can.)
* DING DING DING *
GP: HERE WE GO! Extreme and Potright going back and forth with each other... and Daze hits Extreme with a
trash can! One to Potright! And Daze raises the can above his head in victory! What a showboat... he slams it on Potright's knee. Extreme gets to his knees... Daze hits him with the trash can again!
JT: Yeah! Show them who's the best! Daze taking control! Yeah baby!
Nikki: Isn't that the catchphrase of an fWo announcer?
GP: I think it is.
JT: You're kidding me!
GP: Your catchphrase is...
JT: No, let me get it: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
GP: Good. Daze looking around... he goes to pick up an explosive board. BUT POTRIGHT HITS HIM WITH A LOW BLOW! Donnie clutching his nuts... Potright is back on his feet, DDT! He turns Daze over and begins laying in punches on Daze's forehead! But Extreme is up now and he tackles Potright off! Now those two go at it!
Nikki: Potright and Extreme rolling back and forth... Daze rolls, grabs a chair, and gets back to his feet! He walks over and slams the chair on Extreme's back! He takes it, drives the top of the seat into Extreme's stomach! Again! Daze working over Extreme! He walks over to Potright... POTRIGHT DROP-TOE HOLDS HIM INTO THE BARBED-WIRE ROPES! DAZE GETS BLOOD DRAWN!
GP: A wily veteran move! Now Potright getting to his
feet... he pulls Daze from the ropes, Daze has some
scars on his chest... and Potright rolls him into a
full nelson while Daze is in that sitting position...
NO! HE PICKS HIM UP AND HITS A RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX!
DAZE GOES CLEAR ACROSS THE RING, ALMOST TO AN
JT: That was close! Extreme clutching his chest... and
now Potright is standing tall. Potright picks up the
chair now... he goes to the corner, opens it, and
places it in front of the turnbuckle post. He goes to
Daze... irish whip... REVERSAL BY DAZE! POTRIGHT JUMPS
ON THE CHAIR THOUGH, MOONSAULT FROM THE CHAIR, DAZE
DUCKS, POTRIGHT LANDS ON HIS FEET, DAZE TURNS AROUND,
POTRIGHT MISSES A LARIAT, DAZE WITH A NECKBREAKER!
Both men down.
Nikki: Extreme, meanwhile, has gotten himself up...
and he rolls to the outside. He's got a barbed-wire
table! He clasps the legs shut, and slides it in the
ring. Extreme setting the table back up... and he
points to Daze! The crowd cheers! He points to
Potright! The crowd cheers more! He shrugs... what's
he going to do? He's GOT BOTH!
GP: Extreme has something special going on in his
head... he takes Daze and Potright to the table... and
he signals for a double chokeslam through the table!
That's insane! That's irregular! That's... NOT GONNA
HAPPEN! Potright and Daze kick him in the ribs, DOUBLE
SUPLEXES EXTREME THROUGH THE BARBED-WIRE TABLE! ALL
THREE MEN DOWN!
(The crowd cheers the bloodshed, like they should.)
JT: BLOOOOOOOD! Yeah! YEAH YEAH! GO BLOOD, GO BLOOD,
IT'S YO BIRTHDAY!
GP: You are an idiot.
Nikki: Really. All three men not moving... but
Potright whips his arm over. At least ONE is still
JT: We're like five minutes into the match, and
GP: Well, it's tough conditions in there, JT.
JT: Yeah, but FIVE F'N MINUTES!
GP: *Sigh*... You'll never understand. But Daze is
beginning to come around... Potright is pushing
himself up off his stomach... Potright getting up...
Potright on his feet, Daze on his knees, Potright with
a Magistrol Cradle!
JT: YOU IDIOT! NO PINS!
GP: Potright realizing that and letting Daze go... and
Daze is well enough to get to his feet. They each
adopt an amatuer wrestling stance... Daze charges
Potright, Potright flings him over, arm toss! Daze
gets back to his feet, charges Potright, Potright goes
for another arm throw, this timeDonnie stops! Potright
followed through, and DAZE WITH A FULL-NELSON SLAM!
Potright's going to get a lower back hernia, that's
Nikki: No corny jokes, Greg. Please. Daze getting to
his feet... what'll he go for... he's got that chair
again! Potright on his knees after the full nelson
slam... DAZE WHIPS THAT CHAIR OVER POTRIGHT'S
FOREHEAD! BUT THE SICK BASTARD IS STILL ON HIS KNEES!
DAZE AGAIN WITH THE CHAIR! GO, DONNIE!
JT: YEAH! GO DONNIE!
Nikki: We can't cheer the same guy!
JT: Why not? Daze is bloodying up Potright!
Nikki: Well, Potright's the one who's bleeding!
JT: Oh... so?
GP: DONNIE HITS POTRIGHT AGAIN!
Nikki: Well, you can't cheer the same guy as the girl.
You're the heel announcer.
JT: That's right! But Donnie's the heel.
Nikki: Right. But he gave me flowers, so I have to
cheer for him.
JT: So who do I cheer for?
Nikki: Mike Extreme?
GP: POTRIGHT GOES DOWN AFTER ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!
JT: Mike Extreme?! What are you smoking?
Nikki: Well, I think Greg's going to cheer for
Potright, since Potright's a face...
GP: Daze leaving the ring...
Nikki: Ooh! We'll continue this conversation later.
Donnie Daze: Hey, Nikki. What's happening?
Nikki: Not much, Don.
JT: Don? You're on a short-first name basis with this
GP: Don't you have a match to attend to?
Daze: Against those two losers? Nah.
GP: Well, I think you should probably attend to it,
because HERE COMES MIKE EXTREME!
(Daze turns around... Extreme jumps over the
barbed-wire and body presses Daze onto the table.)
GP: SWEET LORD! OUR TABLE JUST MOVED BACK INTO THE
CROWD! AND MIKE EXTREME IS DELIVERING BLOWS TO DAZE'S
BODY! EXTREME PULLS DAZE UP BY THE HAIR, THROWS DAZE
INTO THE TABLE! AGAIN! AGAIN!
Nikki: NOOOO! Donnie's pretty face!
JT: It'll match his pretty chest!
GP: Extreme throws Daze into the turnbuckle post, no!
Daze rolls in, grabs Extreme's arms, and he's giving
him headbutts! Again and again and again!
JT: WHEN'D POTRIGHT GET UP?!!
Nikki: WHAT THE...?! YEAH, WHEN?
GP: Those chair shots must've not been very hard, or
he's really hard-headed... but that's beside the
point, because he HAS A LADDER! AND HE IS CLIMBING IT!
POTRIGHT ON THE TOP STEP, ON THE TOP STEP, HE SENTONS
OFF OF IT!
JT: HOLY SHIT! RIGHT ON TOP OF DAZE AND EXTREME!
GP: And ALL THREE MEN are on the ground again! And all
three men have been bloodied by their opponents!
Potright via chair, Daze via drop-toe-hold into the
barbed-wire, and Extreme from the suplex into the
barbed-wire table! And it's doubtful anyone will be
Nikki: So... back to the conversation. You see,
Potright's the face. Daze is the heel, and under
normal circumstances, you'd cheer him. But, since he
gave me flowers and is treating me nice, I cheer him
instead of you. So, face=GP, heel=you becomes face=GP,
heel=me for this match.
JT: I still don't know who to cheer for.
Nikki: Well, cheer for the blood.
JT: Sounds good.
GP: Hold on. Who do I cheer for again?
Nikki: You cheer for the face! Potright!
Nikki: Now, let's give this a try.
GP: C'MON, POTTY! GET UP!
Nikki: No, wait... that's not right. Greg, you're
supposed to be unbiased.
GP: Hold on... yeah, you're right. I'm play-by-play...
I can't be leaning towards any wrestler.
JT: Does that mean I cheer on Potright?
Nikki: Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
JT: Okay.... BLOOOOOOOOOOOD!
GP: Good enough. *shrugs*
(A hand hits the table.)
GP: Someone's up! And it's Mike Extreme!
JT: Aw, he sucks!
GP: YOU DON'T SAY THAT WHEN THE GUY'S RIGHT IN FRONT
(Extreme tries to grab JT by the neck.)
GP: DAZE ROLLS EXTREME UP IN A SCHOOLBOY! THESE GUYS
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!
JT: Oh... whew... whew... so... close.
Nikki: Not close enough, though.
JT: Any closer, he would've crushed my neck!
GP: Well, that's the first slap of the match! Extreme
kicks out of the schoolboy, but it doesn't matter,
since there's no count. Potright using the table to
get up... HE TORE THE TOP OFF OF OUR TABLE! HE SWINGS
IT AT EXTREME'S HEAD! EXTREME GOES BACK DOWN! HE
THWACKS DAZE WITH IT, DAZE IS STUNNED, AND POTRIGHT
CLUMSILY TOSSES DAZE BACK IN!
JT: Now Potty's got a weapon! Revenge is gonna be
(Daze is begging off Potright.)
GP: What a wuss... he's... HE GAVE POTRIGHT THE
FINGER! AND POTRIGHT CRACKS DAZE IN THE HEAD WITH THE
TABLE TOP, AND THERE GOES HALF OF THE DAMN THING INTO
THE CROWD! Daze falls to the ground... Potright
Nikki: Now Potright picks up Daze's legs... NO! NOT
JT: Daze'll never date Nikki again! But... HE PUTS ON
THE WALL BREAKER! THE WALL BREAKER! HE'S GOING TO MAKE
DAZE SAY I QUIT!
(A referee runs to where Daze is, slides in under the
wire with a mic.)
Ref: Donnie Daze, do you quit?
Daze: NO! NO NO NO!
JT: I think he isn't going to give up.
GP: But Potright cinches back harder!
Daze: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO NO NO! I AM BETTER THAN YOU!
GP: Potright goes back even more! Hold on, there's
Extreme! He's back in! Grabs that other piece of
table, SLAPS IT UPSIDE POTRIGHT'S HEAD, AND POTRIGHT
RELEASES THE HOLD! Now Extreme looks at this... he
goes to Potright... CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! HE HAS A
CRIPPLER CROSSFACE ON SAM POTRIGHT!
JT: AH! Don't give up, not to Mike Extreme!
GP: Potright is still awake enough to feel pain after
that table piece shot!
(The ref slides into the ring.)
Ref: Sam Potright... do you give up?
Potright: Must not... will not... "lay next to me...
tell me what they've done... the door is locked now...
but it's open if you're true... if you can understand
the me, then I can understand the you..."
GP: Oh, good lord. He's singing... that could mean
ONLY one thing...
Potright: "WHAT I'VE FELT, WHAT I'VE KNOWN, TURN THE
PAGES, TURN TO STONE, BEHIND THE DOOR, SHOULD I OPEN
IT FOR YOU... WHAT I'VE FELT, WHAT I'VE KNOWN, SO SICK
AND TIRED I STAND ALONE... COULD YOU BE THERE, BECAUSE
I'M THE ONE WHO WAITS FOR YOU... OR ARE YOU UNFORGIVEN
GP: POTRIGHT -- ER -- LUNATIC PANDORA BREAKS FREE OF
JT: It's the blue-hair man! LET'S GET READY TO BLEED!
Nikki: Oh no.
GP: EXTREME TO HIS FEET! PANDORA AND EXTREME STARE
OFF! AND IT'S A FIST FIGHT AGAIN! PANDORA LOSING THE
FIGHT, AS EXTREME PUNCHES HIM BACK, BACK, BACK... NEAR
THOSE EXPLOSIVES... NEAR THOSE EXPLOSIVE... EXTREME
GOES FOR A HOOK, PANDORA GRABS HIM, SAMOAN DROP ON THE
* BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! *
JT: AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA! YESSSS!
Nikki: PAINFUL PAINFUL PAINFUL!
GP: I THINK MIKE EXTREME IS DEAD! MAYBE PANDORA TOO!
But Pandora rolls away... he's hurt, but... well, the
sick bastard enjoys it, doesn't he? Mike Extreme is
barely moving... and Donnie Daze is limping. Daze
limps over to Pandora... he grabs Pandora's leg! He
goes for the figure-four... Pandora pushes him off!
Daze into the ropes!
Nikki: NOT AGAIN!
JT: Yes, again! Daze into that barbed wire again! And
more puncture wounds and scratches, rips on his skin!
Daze's chest is red with blood! He's hanging on barbed
wire for cryin' out loud!
GP: This has been an ugly contest, to say the least.
All these men have suffered some bad wounds. Potright
has to have a concussion... Daze has those visible
puncture wounds... Extreme is burnt extra crispy right
about now. Daze rolls off that barbed wire, though...
thankfully for him.
Nikki: Ohhhhhhh... poor baby.
JT: You're not going to suck the blood or something,
JT: Just asking.
GP: Daze rolls under the barbed wire... and he
stumbles over to a board... a BARBED WIRE BOARD. This
can't be good... and Daze has the damn thing in the
JT: No matter what he does, it'll be good and bloody!
GP: He walks over to Pandora... and he drops the board
on the mat. He's got Pandora... Gutwrench Powerbomb on
that barbed wire! Now Daze going back out of the
ring... he's got another! He slides that in, and he
puts it on top of Pandora! Now Daze has the ladder...
this is not going to be good at all.
JT: YES IT IS!
GP: Daze is climbing up the ladder... he's high up
there! DAZETON BOMB ONTO THAT BARBED WIRE BOARD
SANDWICH! PANDORA IN BETWEEN THOSE BOARDS! THAT'S
JT: That... ROCKED!
GP: Pandora may be dead, Extreme may be dead... and
Daze is going back up the damn ladder! He's climbing
up with his back to Pandora... this could be something
even crazier than the Dazeton Bomb... he's signalling
for something... EXTREME IS UP! HE SHAKES THE LADDER!
EXTREME RACES UP THE LADDER!
Nikki: He's on an adrenaline rush! Mike Extreme on an
adrenaline rush! He has Daze, he has Daze, SWINGING
ROCK BOTTOM FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER, AND INTO THE
EXPLOSIVE BOARD #2!!!
* BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! *
JT: HOT DAMN!
GP: NOW DONNIE DAZE IS DEAD! AND PANDORA HAS POPPED
OUT OF THE BARBED WIRE SANDWICH OF BOARDS! AND THE
SICK, SICK MAN IS LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF!
JT: This... IS A MATCH!
Nikki: This has to end now!
(Nikki tosses off her headset.)
JT: What is that dumb blonde doing? She's IN THE RING!
SHE'S IN THE DAMN RING! She's behind Pandora... she
pulls something from her pants... OH NO! THE PANTY
RAG! THAT'S A USED PANTY! SHE WAS WEARING THOSE
PANTIES WHEN SHE TALKED TO DONNIE! AND THAT STENCH IS
OF A TOTAL WHORE!
GP: OH... hey, she doesn't smell too bad.
JT: Ha... the last woman you had before Nikki was
good... and then she deflated!
GP: Anyway, Pandora is blanking out... he's blanking
out.. IT'S BETH POTRIGHT! SPEAR TO NIKKI! SPEAR TO
NIKKI! BETH POTRIGHT IS CATFIGHTING NIKKI!
JT: Hot and ho! Hot and ho! YEE HAH, it's hot and ho!
GP: Beth is slamming Nikki's head into the mat!
JT: Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h yeah...
GP: JT...? What the... ? OH! DUDE, SICK!
GP: PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!
JT: What's t-t-t-t-t-t-the
GP: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! PENISES CAN'T BE ON PPV!
JT: Who-o-o-o-o-o sa-a-a-a-a-ays?
GP: THE FCC! PUT IT AWAY!
JT: OHHHHHH! All right then.
GP: EWWWWWW! EWWW! DAMMIT, I FEEL LIKE I'M SITTING
NEXT TO NICK KOSTOS!
JT: HA HA!
GP: When he's lost his man chowder too much.
JT: HA HA -- HEY!
GP: IN THE RING! DONNIE DAZE IS UP AGAIN! HE TOSSES
EXTREME INTO THE BARBED WIRE! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND BETH!
SHE DOESN'T SEE HIM, AND NOW DAZE HAS BETH BY THE
HAIR! WHAT IS THAT SON OF A BITCH GOING TO DO?
JT: HE KISSED HER! HE KISSED HER!
GP: HE KISSED SAM POTRIGHT'S DAMN WIFE! IF PANDORA
WERE AWAKE, THIS WOULD INCENSE HIM TO NO END! DAZE...
WHAT'S HE DOING? NO! NO! THAT'S SICK!
JT: What's our TV rating again? It's got to be above
GP: DAZE IS GOING TO HAVE BETH POTRIGHT PERFORM ORAL
SEX ON HIM! THIS IS SICK! HE'S GOING TO PULL DOWN HIS
PANTS... WAIT! POTRIGHT IS UP! POTRIGHT IS UP! HE
CLOTHESLINES DAZE DOWN! POTRIGHT IS LAYING IN STOMPS
TO DAZE! Beth rolls out of the ring... good. Get her
out of here... a woman doesn't belong in that ring.
JT: That was sexist.
GP: SHUT UP! That was not sexist! But Potright is
climbing up the ladder, albeit slowly! This match is
twenty minutes in... and there has yet to be a person
saying "I quit"! Potright signals... he has his arms
out... CHRIST AIR! CHRIST AIR! CHRIST F'N AIR ON
DONNIE DAZE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AGAIN! BUT MIKE EXTREME
IS UP! He is definitely up! And he tosses that ladder
down! Extreme is in the best shape right now...
Potright is down after the Christ Air... Daze is down
because of the Christ Air... so now Extreme is leaving
the ring. And he's going under the ring...
(The crowd cheers as Extreme pulls an object out from
beneath the ring.)
GP: OH NO!
JT: OH YES!
GP: GLASS TABLES! MIKE EXTREME HAS PRODUCED TWO GLASS
TABLES, AND HAS SLID THEM INTO THE RING! TWO GLASS,
GLASS TABLES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HAVE BEEN PRODUCED
BY MIKE EXTREME!
JT: Now Extreme is back in... he sets one table on top
of the other... this is going to be very bloody,
GP: Extreme grabs Potright... he throws him on the top
table. Now Extreme has Daze... he's gonna go for a
powerbomb... UP GOES DAZE --
JT: AND DOWN GOES DAZE! ONTO POTRIGHT, AND THE GLASS
SMASHES! WE HAVE GLASS ALL OVER THE RING, AND TWO MEN
ARE BLOODIER THAN EVER! MIKE EXTREME RAISES HIS HANDS
IN THE AIR! YEAH!
GP: Extreme is pulling Potright from that glass
wreckage... Potright and Daze are bloody, and
there's... oh, there's glass in Potright's shoulder!
IN HIS SHOULDER! And EXTREME LOCKS ON A CRIPPLER
CROSSFACE ON THAT SHOULDER!
JT: Can an unconscious man give up?
GP: Well, Potright is knocked senseless! We'll find
JT: The referee's right there.
Referee: Sam Potright... do you give up?
Referee: Do you give up?
Referee: If you do not respond in any way by the count
of ten, I will announce you out of the match!
Referee: 1.... 2.... 3.... 4.... 5.... 6.... 7....
Referee: 8.... 9....
GP: Mike Extreme released the hold! A second too
early! He must think he just eliminated Sam Potright
from this contest! But the referee is shaking his
head, so Potright is not eliminated!
JT: DONNIE DAZE IS UP!
JT: He is UP! Daze is behind Extreme, and he has a
piece of glass! MARCO POLO SUBMISSIONO ON MIKE
EXTREME, AND HE IS JABBING GLASS IN MIKE EXTREME'S
MOUTH! HE LATCHES THE LEGS AROUND! THERE'S NO ESCAPE!
Referee: MIKE EXTREME... DO YOU GIVE UP? DO YOU SAY "I
Mike Extreme: NO! I WILL NOT GIVE UP TO DONNIE DAZE! I
WILL NOT GIVE UP!
(Daze latches on even tighter.)
Extreme: I WILL NOT! I WILL NOT! I WILLLLL...
WILLLLL.... NO! NO NO NO! MUST NOT...... I....
DON'T.... I QUIT!
GP: MIKE EXTREME JUST SAID "I QUIT"! MIKE EXTREME IS
OUT OF THE MATCH! MIKE EXTREME IS THE FIRST MAN
Eliminated - Mike Extreme
JT: Now is the match over?
GP: No. We still have Sam Potright and Donnie Daze in
this thing... these two men will face off.
JT: But Potright is out!
GP: Well, Daze can lock on his Marco Polo Submissiono
on Potright, and that might be all.
JT: Hmmm... Extreme rolling out of the ring. He's got
a bloody back, he's got blood dripping from his
mouth... his back is burned up... talk about extreme.
GP: And we've still got two guys to go!
(As soon as Extreme goes backstage... "Dicks on
Parade" by Dicks Against The Machine hits. The crowd
mixes their reactions as My Dick comes out.)
My Dick: Sam Potright... if you can hear me... Donnie
Daze... I know you can hear me... you know, I promised
there would be more things than I said beforehand.
Now, HIT THE LIGHTS!
(Up above the ring, high up, spotlights converge on
one spot... where a Hell In A Cell is erected.)
GP: GOOD GOD, NO! HE'S KIDDING US!
(The Hell In A Cell begins to lower.)
JT: HE IS NOT KIDDING US! NOW THE DAMN THING IS A HELL
IN A CELL, TO BOOT! THIS REALLY IS GOING TO BE AN
GP: INSANITY! THIS ENTIRE COMPANY'S LOST IT!
(The Hell In A Cell lowers completely. The door is
JT: Oh, will this be good.
GP: Daze walks over to Potright... he picks up his
wounded former ally, and pulls that hunk of glass from
his shoulder. He sees that barbed wire board....
BULLDOG ON THE BARBED WIRE! BULLDOG! Daze pulls
himself out of the ring... and Potright is dragged out
by Daze. Daze, irish whip into the steps... RIGHT ON
JT: Daze taking control of that injury. He follows it
up with a boot... and another one. Daze takes
Potright, tosses him into the steel mesh! Potright
bounces back, boot to the face by Daze!
GP: Nikki is backstage, we have learned... she
actually got cut open by Beth Potright.
JT: Wow... that's one tough bitch.
GP: Who, Nikki?
JT: No, Beth Potright. Think about how thick and grimy
Nikki's skin is...
GP: Ew. Daze throws Potright back into the ring... he
grabs the ladder, tosses it on Potright's shoulder!
Daze setting up that ladder in a corner... he picks up
Potright, irish whip into the ladder, reversal,
reversal again, POTRIGHT INTO THE LADDER, SHOULDER
FIRST! Daze charges after Potright, Potright gets a
superkick out! Daze falls to the mat...
JT: Well, this got real technical. Bor-ring.
GP: Daze only stunned by the superkick... he's getting
back to his feet. Potright clutching his shoulder...
he's setting up that last explosive board in the
corner! There are four boards, each one with five
explosives, and that, THAT, is the last of them! He's
got it set up... Daze charges Potright, Potright with
a belly-to-back -- BOTH MEN INTO THE EXPLOSIVE BOARD!
* BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! *
JT: HOOOOOOOO! Yeah! That ROCKED! Both men could be
dead, I love it!
GP: Both men have just got to be damn near the edge of
death! Both men must barely be able to move! Potright
is down! Daze is down! They're both bloody, beaten,
burnt, and neither man is willing to quit! What a
match! Potright rolls out of the ring... he's outside
on his knees... Daze is rolling back and forth inside
the ring... he rolls onto his knees. Blood is dripping
from his face, look at that! It's like a crimson
GP: Potright on the outside... Daze crawling across
the ring... he grabs a chair! He's sliding outside of
the ring! And he is managing to stand up enough, lying
in wait like a nocturnal predator! Potright slowly
getting to his feet... Daze lifts the chair up... he
falls back! He's too weak! AND POTRIGHT GRABS DAZE'S
LEGS! HE'S.... LION TAMER! POTRIGHT HAS THE LION TAMER
ON DONNIE DAZE! DAZE IS IN EXTREME PAIN, BUT SO IS
POTRIGHT! POTRIGHT'S INJURED SHOULDER IS BEING USED
FOR THE LION'S TAMER! IT MUST BE GIVING HIM HELL! IT
MUST VERY WELL BE GIVING HIM PAIN LIKE THE WORLD!
JT: SOMEONE FROM UNDER THE RING!
JT: IT'S SCHITZO TOD! HE STILL HAS A PROBLEM WITH
POTRIGHT! HE THOUGHT THAT POTRIGHT SENT THE SUICIDE
KINGS AFTER HIM AND AWS MAN (AKA BILL)! THAT ISN'T
TRUE, BUT WE KNOW TOD DOESN'T KNOW THAT!
GP: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! TOD SPRAYS SOMETHING IN
POTRIGHT'S EYES! POTRIGHT IS BLINDED! AND DAZE IS
ALMOST OUT OF IT! POTRIGHT CAN BARELY SEE, AND TOD
GOES BACK UNDER THE RING! DAZE IS SLIDING LIKE A SNAKE
ON HIS BELLY! POTRIGHT IS LEANING ON THE RING, TRYING
TO GET HIS VISION BACK!
JT: Potright can't see... Daze might not even be able
to stand... Potright is rolling into the ring... Daze
is crawling up on the steps... and Daze slides into
the ring. Both are pained... this has been great. The
blood. THE BLOOD!
GP: Potright and Daze have poured themselves into
this, not for titles, not for contender's shots... but
because they hate each other. Through broken bones,
through blood... this has been insane. Potright runs
forward, Daze runs forward, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! BOTH
(Neither man moves.)
GP: Both must be wasted of energy. Both must have lost
everything in their bodies...
(A referee rolls into the ring.)
Referee: Sam Potright, do you give up?
(Potright doesn't answer.)
Referee: Donnie Daze -- do YOU give up?
Referee: If neither man here answers by the count of
ten... both of you lose.
(... No answer.)
Referee: 1.... 2.... 3..... 4.... 5....
GP: Will someone get up?
JT: Yeah! I want more blood!
Referee: Six... seven.... eight....
GP: I don't think either one's going to find the power
Referee: Nine... ten.
(He calls for the bell.)
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen... due to blood loss and
exhaustion by the combatants, this match is a DRAW.
There is no winner.
GP: After all of that, neither one could continue.
JT: Yeah, damn is right! I mean, that was IT? How
could anyone consider that hardcore?
GP: You were tooting these guys's horns during the
match, and now you're turning around and saying this
match wasn't that good? What are you TALKING ABOUT?!
JT: I remembered all those Ken War matches...
GP: I think Potright, in the very least, has become
almost an equal to Ken War. First, Trick Or Treat 2...
now, this. The Utter Obliteration match. In two
matches, he's definitely cemented some form of history
in the IWO. Donnie Daze, he's definitely set himself
on a path forward.
JT: Yeah, right. He'll probably steal some of
Potright's skin and sell it on eBay.
GP: You are so obnoxious.
JT: I know. :-)
GP: That wasn't a compliment.
JT: I take it as one.
GP: Well, anyway. Mike Extreme... he showed promise in
this match, too. All three men put this together...
what a match.
JT: Quit thinking of it as so great.
GP: While the cleaning crew cleans the ring... are you ready for Ice Age?
(Cuts to a series of promos, starting with one for Ice Age III, as then we slowly fade into a meat locker.)
Second Round Match
Pacific Title Match
Billy Ray vs. AWS Man
GP: Hooray. It's time for another Major Push Tourney match of DOOM.
JT: It's AWS Man (also known as Bill) versus Billy Ray in a MEAT LOCKER ROOM match.
JT: Let's go to the ringside announcements!
Ring Announcer: HI GANG! DID YOU MISS ME!
(The Ring Announcer dances.)
JT: ...okay, what happened to our normal ring announcer?
(Scene cuts to the ring announcer being bound and gagged in the locker room.)
(Scene cuts back to the gay ringside announcer.)
JT: Oh crap. It's Thomas Welsk.
Thomas Welsk: The following contest, kiddies, is scheduled for one fall, you know! And it's a naughty Meat Locker Brawl!
("Rock the Party" by P.O.D. plays as Billy Ray enters the meat locker. No one likes a drunk, so people boo.)
Thomas Welsk: First, he is a naughty drunk, he is that naughty boy, BILLY RAY!
("Three Point One Four" by the Bloodhound Gang plays as AWS Man (also known as Bill) doesn't come out.)
Thomas Welsk: Where IS that naughty boy?
GP: Uh oh! LOOK BEHIND YOU, THOMAS!
(Welsk does so, but takes a Knock Your Freakin Head Off from AWS Man (also known as Bill))
AWS Man (also known as Bill): Freakin' freak! You freakin' gay person, don't you freakin' announce MY match! Oh yeah, I'm from freakin' Freakville, North Carolina and I weigh two hundred and freakin' thirty-four pounds and I might be AWS Man (also known as Bill), but I'm not sure.
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) uses a matter transporter to take himself to the meat locker.)
JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) starts pounding away at Billy Ray with rights and lefts, and he whips him into the wall!
GP: Ray comes back with a clothesline and starts pounding away at AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s skull!
JT: Ray picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and tries a scoop slam, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) reverses into an inside cradle! One... two... no!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) rolls to his feet, ducks the clothesline, and takes Billy Ray down with a side suplex! Right into some meat!
Nikki: And that meat, I guess, is hard.
JT: So is my dick.
Nikki: Well, anyway, AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicks Billy Ray in the gut and nails him with a DDT!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) grabs Billy Ray and tries to suplex him, but it's blocked by Ray! Ray tries a suplex, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) twists around and lands on his feet! And he shoves Ray
into the wall!
GP: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a rollup on Ray! One... two.. no!
JT: Ray's back on his feet and nails a kneelift to AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s solar plexus!
Nikki: Now what's Ray doing?
JT: Ray has a piece of meat!
JT: And he breaks it over AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s back!
GP: Now Ray sets AWS Man (also known as Bill) up for the Beer Bomb, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) counters with a hurracanrana!
Nikki: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) with rights upon rights upon rights!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a scoop slam to Billy Ray and AWS Man (also known as Bill) takes a step back! He measures Ray... KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF(thrust kick)!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) has this match won!
Nikki: Wait, AWS Man (also known as Bill) has the Pacific title?!
AWS Man (also known as Bill): Freakin' freak, I got to get to the freakin' NA title match!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) drops the title and leaves the out cold Billy Ray in the cold.)
GP: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN NOW?!
(We see My Dick come up over the IWOTron, as the fans immediatly turn their heads. My Dick is in front of his same Marble Suit.)
My Dick:I hope you all have enjoyed my wonderful colorful pay per view as of now, and here, I've got something to say about the Major Push Tournament. With the undecided winner of the last match between AWS Man and Billy Ray, the final round match will involve Syphon Fission, Sam Potright, and Spaz in a three way dance, contested in IRON MAN MATCH RULES!
GP:Oh my god! These three men are dead tired, ESPECIALLY POTRIGHT! How in the hell can My Dick rule this!
My Dick:Good day my fans.
(My Dick leaves the IWOTron, as the fans stare in shock.)
World Tag Team Title Match
Sam Potright & Donnie Daze vs. the Suicide Kings -c- vs. the Prep Kids
JT:And here comes Potright AGAIN!
Nikki: Fans, we're getting ready to get our World Tag Title Match underway.
GP: Thats right, we're going to be going right down to our ringside announcer, and get this match started!
Meygon: Fans, this next match, is scheduled for one fall!! This match is also, for the IWO World Tag Team Titles! Making their way to the ring first!!
One Step Closer, by Linkin Park blares through the arena speakers as the fans give the tag team champions, The Suicide Kings, a nice ovation. Ryan and Jeff then slowly emerge from behind the entry way, and make their way down to the ring, sliding in as they get to the ring.
Meygon: Your IWO World Tag Team Champiosn, Ryan and Jeff, The Suicide Kings!!! And their opponents!
'Faster Grace' by Custom blares through the arena, as Sam Potright makes his way down to the ring slowly. He slides in the ring, and immediatly gets attacked by The Suicide Kings.
GP: Well, we're not going to get to the rest of our introductions, as The Suicide Kings, are tearing up on Sam Potright, and Meygon got out of the ring, quick as possible. The Suicide Kings with a whip to the ropes, double
arm drag. They pick up Potright, and nail a double Suplex, and here come The Prep Kids!!
Nikki: The Prep Kids slide in the ring, and immediatly go after Sam Potright as well. The four men, each grab a limb, and lift Potright up, slamming him back, back first down onto the mat. Ryan King drops a quick elbow, followed by Randall McCloud!
JT: Jeff King goes for a leg drop, but theres Jordan Howitt, with a clothesline, sending Jeff King straight to the mat. And now Ryan and Randall are going at it as well, giving each other lefts and rights..and here comes
Nikki: Daze is just taking his time, walking to the ring, as The Prep Kids, and The Suicide Kings battle it out. Daze slides in the ring, and spins Ryan King around, nailing a DDT as Randall McCloud is posing on the turnbuckle. Daze leaps at Randall, and nails a forearm, knocking him up and over the top, down to the floor, but theres Jeff and Jordan, running at Daze, with a double clothesline! Daze goes up, and over the top rope, and now Jeff and Jordan are fighting it out, with lefts and rights.
GP: Jordan catches Jeff, and grabs him, lock up, but theres Sam Potright, shoving them both over the top rope!! Potright runs, bouncing off the opposite ropes, as Ryan King is getting up, as is Randall McCloud on the
outside. Ryan falls into the ropes on the inside, sitting down as Potright comes by, flying up and over the top rope, crashing down onto Randall McCloud. Ryan King then gets up, and climbs to the top rope! Donnie Daze
gets up, and Ryan jumps off the top rope, Daze moves out of the way, and Ryan flies chin first into the guard rail, bouncing off, and right into Daze for his Dazed and Confused!!!
JT: Donnie Daze rolls in the ring, and Potright and Jeff King are getting up. Potright runs Jeff King into the ring, and Daze comes running. Potright grabs Jeff, holding him for Daze to do a baseball slide dropkick, but Jeff
rolls out of the way, letting Daze nail Potright, and then Jeff grabs Daze's legs, pulling him out of the ring! Jeff jumps up onto the rail, and spins around as he comes back off, nailing a leg drop on both Potright and Daze!!
Jeff King then rolls in the ring, as Jordan Howitt follows, and the two men lock up, with Jeff King getting a headlock! Jordan shoves Jeff off, and into the ropes, and Randall leaps over Jeff as he was coming back, catching him in a roll up pin type move!!
GP: Jeff King kicks out, and here comes Donnie Daze into the ring! Daze sneaks up behind Randall and locks on a sleeper, sitting down with it, and rolling him up for a pin, but theres Jordan Howitt with a dropkick, knocking
Daze straight back through the ropes, and tumbling to the floor. Ryan King, now trying to get in the ring, but theres Sam Potright, on the apron with him!
Nikki: Potright with a kick to Ryan's knee, turning him, and Potright grabs Ryan, spinning him around, and nailing the War Within A Breath straight off the apron down to the floor!! Potright rolls back up on the apron, and
starts to pull himself up on the ropes, but here comes Randall with a dropkick to Potrights face, right through the middle and bototm ropes, sending him back down to the floor!
JT: It seems pretty obvious, that The Prep Kids are trying to work over on Jeff King, keeping everyone else out of this match. Daze and Potright, slowly making their way to their corner, as Ryan King is still out on the
floor. Randall McCloud gets out of the ring, and goes to his corner, as Jordan Howitt has Jeff King in a headlock, punching him in the head. Jordan kicks Jeff's legs, sending him down, as Jordan sits down, nailing a bulldog
type move! Jordan rolls him over, and makes a cover!
GP: Ryan King made the save, as Donnie Daze and Sam Potright wete trying to, but they hit heads as they both tryed to get in the ring, and they're both slouched in the ropes now! Randall McCloud sees this, and jumps in the ring as the referee is trying to get Ryan King out! Randall runs, and jumps to the middle ropes, bouncing off, and turning around, legdropping both men, but as he does, Jeff King swung Jordan Howitt to that corner, and rammed Jordan and Randall together! Jeff gets a rollup, and goes for the pin!
Nikki: Jordan kicks out!! Jordan, slowly getting to his feet, as Randall is slowly crawling back to his feet. Both Potright, and Daze, are out cold as well!! Jeff King, tags in Ryan, and both Kings seem to be setting Howitt up
JT: Ryan puts Jordan Howitt on his shoulders facing out and Jeff get on top turnbuckle and wraps his right arm around Jordan's. neck and Ryan spins in tornado fashion 180 degrees and drops down with a reverse Powerbomb Top rope tornado DDT combo.
GP: They all that move Cut-Throat!..I think.
Nikki: Ryan King covers Jordan Howitt..but the referee is making Jeff get out of the ring!! Donnie Daze is finally up, and he gravs Ryan King!! He goes for his Dazed and Confused Finisher!!..He nails it...but theres Randall
McCloud with a clothesline, sending Daze up and over the top rope!! Daze is laying on the apron, and theres Sam Potright, spinning McCloud around and nailing his War within a Breath!! Daze leaps over the top rope, but Potright had already rolled McCloud out of the ring, so Daze basically kicks Potright in the face, and lands on the back of his head. Ryan King, up behind Potright, he throws Potright over the top, and nails a suplex on Daze!!
GP: Howitt sneaking up behind Ryan King, but Jeff catches him from behind, and nails a snapping German Suplex. Jeff rolls through, and goes for a second, but Daze kicks Jeff, breaking the second attempt, nailing Dazed and Confused!! Daze rolls Jeff out of the ring, but theres Ryan, nailing a reverse, drop down DDT!
JT:Howitt goes right after Ryan King, and hammers him with a huge clubbing blow to the back. Howitt grabs King, and nails him with a huge atomic Drop.
Nikki:But Daze is up to his feet! Howitt turns around, as Daze nails another Dazed and Confused! Dear god!
GP:Jeff King hits the ring, and he grabs Daze... THEY DID IT! THEY HIT UNDERESTIMATION! DEAR GOD! RYAN KING COVERS DAZE! WE'VE GOT A COVER,
3! The Suicide Kings did it! They pinned Donnie Daze, and they just won, and they retained their tag team championships! Dear god what a match!
Ring Announcer:Your winners, and STILL IWO World Tag team Championship, the Suicide Kings!!!
Mystery Death Match
High Flyer vs. ?¿?
GP: Its time fans. Its time for the Mysterious Death match between High Flyer and the man the match was named after, the Mysterious One!
Nikki: I can't wait! This is going to be a sure fire good match up!
JT: Well as long as there is blood, and the possibility of decapitation...hell count me in for good commentary on this one!
Nikki: Your a sick fucker you know that JT?
JT: Yeah I know you wanna lick my shaft but not while we're on the air honey wait til we're don-
JT: OUCH! BITCH!
Nikki: Geez....I never tire of that.
GP: Ugh, after over two years of being slapped you'd think JT would have learned by now.
JT: Learned? I'm in to this kinky shit! Why do you think I continue on!?!?!?
GP:...weird....anyway...let us take you down to the ring where our ring announcer is about to announce the two competitors...
Announcer: Introducing first...in this Mysterious Deathmatch.....he hails from Bethlehem Pennsylvania...he stands at six feet tall....and weighs in at two hundred and four pounds....the master of the Flying Moon Shot (Top
Rope Backflip Splash).....he is.....HIIIIIIIIIIIIGH FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
::"Loco" by Coal Chamber begins to play as High Flyer makes his way down to the ring and stands in his corner.::
GP: Wait what is this? A cage is being lowered down in to the ring!
JT: Duh you idiot! A cage is a big part of the Mysterious Death match.The match iscontested inside a steel cage, with the ropes wrapped in barbed wire. Each man can then bring in a weapon of their choosing... first man to make a pin wins. Look, they're wrapping the barbed wire now!
::A shot of IWO ring staff wrapping the ropes in barbed wire is shown. And a box of weapons is sat next to the ring. Flyer gets out of the ring quickly and makes his selection, which is a lovely Sledgehammer.::
GP: Yikes. Well I haven't seen one of these in a while JT it must have slipped my mind.
JT: I'm in to this kinda violence so I remember these things. HAHA! GORE RULES!
Nikki: I voted for Bush.
JT: No you fuckin' ditz not Al Gore, gore as in blood and guts!
Nikki: Oh.....I knew that..
JT: You fuckin stupid peroxide blonde bimbo.
Nikki: If you wanna keep your nuts in working order you'd better just shut up while the getting is good!
JT: Hey you-
GP: SHUT UP!
Announcer: And his opponent....hailing from Mt. Laurel New Jersey....he stands at 254 Pounds....who the hell really knows? He is the master of the Mystery Death Driver....he is....THEEEEEEEEE MYSTERRRRRRRRIOUUUUUUUUUSSSS OOOOOOOOONE!
::"Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play as the Mysterious One makes his way down to ringside, he pulls from the box a blunt club that looks like something out of the stone age.::
GP: And here we go ladies and gentlemen...as the Mysterious One makes his way carefully into the ring through the cage door and attempting to evade the barbed wire.
JT: Hehe...thats right Mysterious One, avoid it now cuz you'll be tastin steel in a few minutes! HAHAHAHA! So will you Flyer! I CAN'T FUCKIN WAIT! Violence gives me wood!
::Nikki and GP just stare at JT.::
JT: WHAT'D I SAY?
JT: Oh like you've never gotten mahogany from seeing someone get hit with a chair!?!?!?
JT: Or in your case, gotten a little moist down below...
GP and Nikki: ...NO!
JT: PSH fine fuck you both. Lets get back to the match.
GP: The bell has rung as our two contestants begin to circle eachother. And this looks like a Mexican stand off at the begining. I don't believe either man is in any hurry to be smacked with a club or a baseball bat.
JT: DAMN IT COME ON! I WANT BLOOD! NOW! APPEASE ME!!!!
GP: Here comes High Flyer now swinging his Sledgehammer at the Mysterious One!Mysterious One leaps out of the way and swings his club and hits Flyer square in the center of his back! Flyer goes down! Mysterious One lifts his club high into the air and comes down, Flyer moves out of the way and sweeps Mysterious Ones
feet out from under him! He's on top of him pressing the long handle of the hammer in to the throat of the Mysterious One! Flyer with the advantage! He releases and rolls away to a standing position as Mysterious One
regains his composure.
JT: Come on....this'll get boring if you guys don't bleed soon damn it!
GP: The two have now dropped their weapons! They're charging eachother and they go right in to a collar and elbow tie up. Flyer with a knee to the stomach ends Mysterious One down. Flyer quickly capitolizes with a
soccer style kick to the stomach on Mysterious One. He rolls over on to his stomach! Wrong move! High Flyer drops a knee right in to his ribcage! Flyer now....lifting Mysterious One up, and throws him back first in to the
ropes! OH! You can see the pain of Mysterious Ones face and you can hear it in his scream as his back scrapes across that barbed wire that is wrapped around the ropes!
JT: YYYYYYYYES! YES! YES YES! Flyer is grabbing Mysterious One now and raking his face across the barbed wire!!! HAHAHA! Oh this is to awesome! The rips in Mysterious Ones mask reveal gash wounds in his forehead! BLOODY BLOODY BLOODY! HAHA!
GP: As JT said....Mysterious One is cut open already, in the early going of this match. Flyer grabs him by the back of his mask and his trunks and throws Mysterious One face first in to the cage wall. He flies back and hits
the mat with a thud! Flyer, lifting him back up, gives a rake to the eyes and quickly goes in to a beautifully performed snap suplex!
JT: Damn it! Flyer quit wrestling like this is the eighties and just use things that gore your opponent!
Nikki: Will you PLEASE...shut the hell up?
GP: This one is all Flyer right now folks as he lifts the Mysterious One up in to the air now and slams him down with a Body Press Slam. Flyer now with a running leap slams down on Mysterious Ones neck with an elbow! He lifts him up once again and now is going for a DDT which is DENIED! OH! Mysterious One just Osoto-Gari'd (Foot Sweep) High Flyer sending him crashing to the mat. He hit his head hard there!
JT: BLAH BLAH BLAH! DAMN IT WE NEED GORE!
Nikki: BUSH AND CHENEY!
JT: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP WHORE I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT AL GORE!
Nikki: I KNOW!
JT: NO! NO ITS OBVIOUS BY YOUR IDIOCY THAT YOU HAVE NO FUCING COMPREHENSION OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Nikki: YOUR STUPID!
JT: SEE!??!?! I TOLD YOU!
*Kick to the nuts*
JT: AGH! AH YOU FUCKING CUNT I'M GONNA KILL YOU ONCE THE PAIN GOES AWAY!
*KICK KICK SLAP!*
GP: Nice combination!
Nikki: Thank you!
::JT falls over.::
GP: Back to the match. Mysterious One now has the odds in his favor. He lifts Flyer up and throws him in to the ropes, Flyer screams in pain as a stream of blood runs down his back. He comes running back at Mysterious One and is met by a clothesline! Not a normal clothesline though! He used the Sledgehammer! High Flyer now...on the ground grabbing his throat. Mysterious One lifts him up and hooks him in for a beautifully executed Tiger Suplex! Mysterious One now for a pin!
GP: NO! High Flyer kicks out. Mysterious One goes right back to work. He begins to apply a Figure Four Leg lock! But it is reversed into a Small Package by High Flyer! Theres a pin!
GP: No Mysterious One kicked out of the pin fall! High Flyer now is quick to his feet. He picks up the Sledgehammer and comes in at Mysterious One who spins away smashing Flyer in the back of the head with a Crecent Kick! Flyer flies forward into the cage wall smacking his face and allowing his chest to be ripped at by the barbed wire ropes! Mysterious One is now taking the wire off of the ropes and wrapping it around his ARM!?!?!?!?! THATS FUCKIN NUTS!
Nikki: HEY! YOU SWORE!
GP: Hehe...yeah I did. Anyway! Mysterious One has the Barbed Wire wrapped around his arm! The pain he is in right now must be incredible! He walks over and lifts Flyer up in to a sitting position and applies a headlock!
JT: Thats the best headlock I've ever seen! He's grinding the barbed wire into his own arm and in to Flyers neck! YEAH BUDDY!
GP: Both men now are screaming out in pain as the blood flows heavily from both mens faces, chests, backs and also Mysterious Ones arm! He releases the hold and lifts High Flyer up, throwing him into the barbed wireless
rope, he bounces back and is clotheslined by an arm full of Barbedwire! Oh man! This is nuts! Its impossible that Mysterious One could possibley be blocking out all of the pain! He's now removing the barbedwire from his arm.
::Camera shot of a closeup.::
GP: And we can actually see the prongs ripping out of the flesh on his arm! His arm is a bloody mess!
::Camera shot of Flyer.::
GP: Both men are covered in the crimson liquid! Look at Flyer, you can barely see his face now as he stands up! Mysterious One has placed the Barbedwire around one of the top turnbuckles, it gave Flyer enough time to come
to! He punches Mysterious One in the face and nails him with an Atomic Drop followed up by a Drop kick sending Mysterious one once again into the cage wall as well as barbed wire! He is down on the mat!
JT: Flyer, losing alot of blood! He is stumbling around the ring! He looks down and picks up his Sledgehammer! He goes over to Mysterious One and slams down on his back like he's driving a railroad spike into the earth!
My god this is so fucking cool!
GP: He is laying the sledgehammer on the back of one of Mysterious Ones kneecaps and is stomping away at it! We can hear the Mysterious One screaming from up here! High Flyer is doing a number on his leg! He stops the
stomping now and wraps on what looks to be an Indian Deathlock! Mysterious One is smashing his own face in to the mat to try and hide his pain. Flyer is wrenching on that leg but Mysterious One will not tap out!
JT: Oh man this is so great! I hope he breaks it! Compound fractures rule!
Nikki: How would you like a com....co....whatever it was that you said thingy!
JT: Oh be quiet before you kill your last brain cell.
GP: High Flyer now releases the hold and it looks as though he is climbing to the top of the cage. I hope someone told him that he can't win by escaping the cage. Wait...He's calling for the Flying Moon Shot! This could be all she wrote for the Mysterious One! HIGH FLYER OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!! NO!!!! MYSTERIOUS ONE MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! FLYER IS OUT ON THE MAT! MYSTERIOUS ONE IS TRYING TO STAND UP BUT HE CANâT! HE CANâT! HE'S CRAWLING OVER TO MAKE A PIN!!! CAN HE GET IT!?!?!? CAN HE GET IT?!?!?!
GP: HIGH FLYER KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! I can't believe this! THIS IS CRAZY!
JT: DAMN RIGHT AINT IT GREAT!?!?!
GP: Both these men are putting up a great showing here tonight! Now Mysterious One finally to his feet, hopping on one foot. He picks up High Flyer and nails him for a Double Armed DDT! He goes for another pin!
GP: He is becoming openly irritated! He lifts High Flyer up again and this time slams him down headfirst with A BRAINBUSTER! OH MAN! THIS HAS TO BE IT!
GP: NO! NO! THATS NOT IT YET! FLYER IS STILL GOING STRONG! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! MYSTERIOUS ONE LIFTS HIGH FLYER UP ONCE AGAIN! HE IS CALLING FOR THE MYSTERY DEATH DRIVER!
JT: OH SHIT MAN IF HE HITS HIM WITH THIS ITS ALL OVER!
Nikki: I CAN'T WATCH!
GP: HE HITS IT! THE MYSTERIOUS ONE JUST HIT HIGH FLYER WITH THE MYSTERY DEATH DRIVER! ITS ALL OVER FOLKS! ITS ALL OVER!!!
JT: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!
GP: HE JUST WON'T GIVE UP! MYSTERIOUS ONE IS BESIDE HIMSELF! HE LIFTS THE LIMP BODY OF HIGH FLYER BACK UP AND ONCE AGAIN CALLS FOR THE MYSTERY DEATH DRIVER!
JT: WAIT LOOK WHAT JUST FUCKIN HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!
GP: HIGH FLYER JUST TOOK OUT MYSTERIOUS ONE'S INJURED LEG! HE HAS HIM ROLLED UP FOR A PIN WITH THE BAD LEG! THERES THE COUNT!!!!
GP: HE PULLED IT OFF!
JT: HE PULLED IT RIGHT OUT OF HIS ASS IS WHAT HE DID! HAHAHA!
GP: HIGH FLYER HAS DEFEATED THE MYSTERIOUS ONE! AMAZING MATCH! SIMPLY AMAZING!
Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER....HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH FLYYYYYYYYYYYYEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
GP: WHAT AN AMAZING SHOWING FROM BOTH ATHELETES!!!! I MUST SAY! wait a minute... what in the hell.....
<The arena lights darken completely. A word is heard.>
<More is heard.>
<A gigantic pyro explosion goes off as "One Winged Angel" by Yasunori Mitsuda plays as four men emerge from the smoke and charge the ring.>
NikkI: OH MY GOD!!! THAT'S SEPHIROS! THE ONE WINGED ANGEL OF THE FWL HAS ARRIVED! HE GRABS HIGH FLYER! SHADOW FLARE! (Backdrop Driver)
<Seeing Sephiros's success, another man charges to the tune of "Fallen One" by the same composer.>
JT: HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER KEFKA IS DOWN! HE CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE! LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT (Shooting Star Press) on High Flyer!
<The final two men, unknown to the IWO step out.>
GP: WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE TWO GUYS?! THEY HAVE ?¿?! The taller man grabs The Mysterious One in a backbreaker as the other goes up top....SOMERSAULT LEGDROP! Kefka and Sephiros walk over to the fallen Mysterious One....they pick him up........DARK MATTER! (Rydeen Bomb/Reverse DDT) SEPHIROS HAS
Sephiros: IWO.....................welcome to your nightmare......The Omega Flare.
Nikki: You've got to be kidding me.......ALL FOUR GUYS CLIMBING TURNBUCKLES! THE FIRST GUY WHO DID THE SOMERSAULT LEGDROP JUMPS! SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP ON ?¿?! THE TALL GUY JUMPS! SOMERSAULT SENTON!!! KEFKA WITH A MOONSAULT! SEPHIROS READIES HIMSELF! FROG SPLASH! Kefka now takes the mic!
Kefka: I'm former FWL World Heavyweight Champion Kefka. This man over here is a former FWL WTW Champion, Sephiros. These two?
<The daredevil guy grabs the mic.>
Dalton: I'M DALTON! MASTER OF THE AERO-DALTON IMPERIAL!!!!
<The final man now takes the mic.>
Magus: I am Magus............Dark Lord.
Sephiros: We are The Empire. We dumped the dead weight from our last go round... (*Cough PIERRE L'MORT AND WHORE AMY Cough*). And we are back. Improved. Better than ever. Soon......the entire IWO shall be under our rule.......for we are the Empire. Bow down, or be destroyed...
JT:What in the hell....
(The four men leave the ring, as the announcing team just sits there in shock.)
Finals of the Major Push Tournament
30 minute Iron Man Match
Sam Potright vs. Syphon Fission vs. Spaz
GP:Fans, we've been working for this all night. Sam Potright has been in about thirty matches today, including the World Tag Team Title Match, the Utter Obliteration matchup, as well as defeating Jack Night inside the Chamber of Horrors.
JT:And what about Syphon Fission! He hasn't had a chance to really show his stuff. He hasn't won at a pay per view, at least he's finally made it here to the final round!
Nikki:And what about the upset Spaz. After defeating Mike Extreme and keeping his Television Title, he now goes into this match for a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship!
GP:You've got to say that Syphon Fission has to have the advantage, being the most conditioned out of the three, having the first round bye, and not having any other matches. Syphon Fission looks to be the winner of this.
JT:Anyone ever hear of an adrenaline rush? Sam Potright has to have it, because damn, he's been involved in half of this pay per view already!
Nikki:You have to be wearing down. Spaz does have alot of ability to come in here as the underdog, and steal this thing. Folks, let's head over to the ring.
Meygon:This next match, is scheduled for a sixty minute time limit, and is contested under Iron Man Match rules! The man who recieves the most falls in one hour will win! Also, there is no disqualfication, and no countout, therefore we will be here for just pinfall and submission. Introducing first, he is the current Television Champion... here is Spaz!!!
("Twist of Cain" by Danzing plays over the pa system as Spaz walks out from the back, carring his television title and talking to his cactus. He makes his way into the ring.)
Meygon:And his opponent, from Seattle, Washington, and weighing in at 265 pounds, here is the master of time travel, SYPHON FISSION!!!!
("The Hollow" by Perfect Circle plays over the pa system as out from the back walks Syphon Fission, wheeling out High Flyer's time machine. He makes his way out, along with Carmen Jackson. He raises his hands, as he leaves the Time Machine at the top of the ramp. He makes his way down, however he doesn't enter the ring.)
Meygon:And his opponent, he has been called one of the craziest men since Mad Max, and has been uttered in the same breath as Ken War. He weighs in at 207 pounds, and hails from Salem, Massechuttes, here is Sam Potright!
("Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" by U2 plays as Potright walks out from the back, carrying the Extreme title in his hand. He makes his way slowly down to the ring, as he seems to be bandaged up. Beth comes out from the back, pleading with him not to go out there.)
Beth Potright:Please Sam! I don't think you can keep wrestling, time in and time out.
Sam Potright:You don't believe how much I want this right now Beth. Please Beth, just let me do this, for myself...
(Sam leaves Beth's dangling arm as he makes his way to the ring, and slides in.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
GP:And here we go! Thirty minutes, the winner walks out with his shot at the World Heavyweight Championship! Potright goes right after Fission as we see him tackle him down to the mat. Potright a house of fire, hammering Fission with rights and lefts.
JT:And here comes Spaz, grabing Potright from behind, and nails him with a huge German Suplex! Could this be the early fall!
Nikki:1-2-NO! Potright gets a shoulder up! Spaz back up to his feet, as he turns around, catching Fission in a side headlock. Fission hits the ropes and sends Spaz back off. Off the other side, Fission grabs Spaz up on his shoulder! He's going for a DVD, but Spaz tries to wiggle his way out. Spaz falls behind Fission, and rolls him up in a rolling package, 1-NO! Fission gets a shoulder up.
GP:That's only a testament to how fresh Syphon Fission truly is. Fission quickly back up to his feet, as he clotheslines Spaz up and over the top rope.
JT:Potright hooks Fission with a shoulder block, right into the gut once more. Potright hammers Fission with a european uppercut, and another one sending Fission back into the corner. Potright hits Fission with a knee to the gut, and now Potright goes down and hits a huge monkey flip on Syphon Fission.
GP:Spaz climbs back up onto the apron, as Potright goes for a wild right. Spaz ducks below it, as he hooks Potright, and sends him choking down on the top rope.
JT:Potright goes flailing back and lands backfirst, as we see Syphon Fission climbing back to his feet, holding his lower back. Fission heads over to Spaz, as Spaz catches Fission with a kick to the gut. Fission backs up with this, as Spaz comes back in, and hammers Fission with a right hand. Spaz hooks Fission, and nails a huge Northern lights suplex.
GP:Wait, what the hell is Sam Potright doing!
(The camera switches to Sam Potright, who is standing in front of the announcer's table.)
Sam Potright:We settle for nothing now, we'll settle for nothing later...
GP:Oh no... it's Lunatic Pandora once more!
JT:Hey Pandora! Stop ripping up our announce table why don't you!
(Pandora just looks at JT as he continues to rip up the announcer table. Pandora grabs a television monitor, and slides into the ring.)
JT:Talk about creapy.
Nikki:Fission kicked out of Spaz's suplex, as Potright just nailed Spaz down to the mat with the television monitor!!!
GP:Pandora you mean! Pandora just knocked Spaz out of his boots!
JT:And Pandora just knocks Fission right down into the mat with the television monitor! Look at the sadistic look in Pandora's eyes! It's like Pandora's box from the Mythology legends! Once Potright becomes Pandora, anything goes!
GP:Wait, I think Potright's back, Potright drops the television set, and he covers Spaz out of shock. 1-2-NO! Spaz gets a shoulder up!
JT:Fission is back to his feet, as he grabs Potright from behind, and tosses him out and through the ropes! Spaz is coming up behind Fission, as Fission drops down and sends Spaz up and over the top!
GP:NO! The 260 pound Fission is climbing the turnbuckle, and he FLIES on the outside onto both Potright and Spaz! Dear god! These men have been battered and bruised!
JT:Fission is climbing to his feet, after that cross body, he's been taken out of his game as well. Fission immediatly grabs the more wounded Potright, and slowly begins to drag him to the backstage area! Fission has Potright, and rigs his eyes on that steel guardrail! That's would be rope burn, but it's steel burn!
Nikki:That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard...
GP:Syphon Fission is grinding it in on Potright, as Fission tosses him back first into a pile of pa speakers!
JT:Hey! We need those for later in the night when we play Hulkamania for our party!
GP:Fission is hammering Potright repeatedly into that speaker, as Fission grabs Potright, hooked in a Full Nelson, and slams him down face first onto the concrete!
JT:I think that's it! Potright is down, 1-2-NO! Spaz comes out of nowhere and saves Potright! I don't know, I mean, Spaz wants to keep the falls close, and Spaz goes for the cover on Potright, 1-2-NO! Fission grabs Spaz off of Sam!
GP:Fission and Spaz are yelling at one another, screaming, and they just start hammering one another with rights and lefts! Dear god! This is viscious!
Nikki:Spaz catches Fission with a low blow, and he's going to send Fission right through out curtain!
(Fission is shown getting tangled in the curtain, as Spaz rips it totally down, covering Fission. Spaz then hammers away at Fission with boots as Fission lyes helpless, unable to defend himself.)
GP:Spaz is just pounding away at Fission, as Syphon is caught in the curtain. Fission powers out of it, as Spaz continues to stomp away at the prone Syphon Fission!
JT:And Potright grabs Spaz and rolls him up from behind! 1-2-NO! Spaz gets a shoulder up! Both men to their feet as Spaz goes for a wild right. Sam ducks underneath, and hooks Spaz from behind. Potright leaps onto Spaz's shoulders, turns around and delivers a perfect hudaconrada!
Nikki:I can't believe Potright is still going, after what he's been through today! Dear god, he must be dead!
GP:Potright is climbing those speakers! Those PA Speakers! Potright is climbing them! What in god's name is he doing!
(All of a sudden, High Flyer's time machine appears up on the speakers with Potright, as another Syphon Fission walks out from it. Fission grabs Potright from behind, and tosses him, flipping him forwards and through a refreshment table.)
GP:WHAT THE HELL!
JT:Syphon Fission just came from the future and tosses Potright off the PA speakers! Fission crawls over and drapes his hand on Potright, 1-2-3!
Ring Announcer:Winner of the first fall, Syphon Fission! The score is Fission 1, Potright 0, and Spaz 0!
Nikki:Syphon Fission from the future heads back into his machine, what the hell just happened Greg.
GP:I... I'm not sure!
JT:Fission is going for another win, 1-2-NO! Beth Potright came out of nowhere and tosses Fission's arm off of Potright's limp body!
(Beth goes over and checks out her husband, who has been broken in half. We see Spaz get to his feet, and hammer the recovering Syphon Fission back down to the ground with a lead pipe.)
GP:DEAR GOD! DID YOU HEAR THAT CLANG! SPAZ JUST KNOCKED OUT SYPHON FISSION!
JT:But he's not covering him Greg! That's a rookie mistake, as Spaz takes Fission to the backstage area.
Nikki:Spaz is hammering Fission repeatedly into the wall, as he grabs Fission and hip tosses him into a huge pile of pipes! The pipes just go flying all around, as Fission grabs the back of his neck. Spaz is heading off, where in the hell is he going!
JT:Spaz has a fire extinquisher! And he just sprayed the eyes of Syphon Fission! Fission is fighting blindly, swinging blindly as well! Spaz... HE HITS SPAZZED OUT!(Sky High turned Bareback) SPAZZED OUT! AND FISSION IS DOWN! Spaz with a cover on Syphon Fission, 1-2-3! And Spaz just pinned Syphon Fission!
Ring Announcer:With fifteen minutes left to go, Spaz recieves his first pinfall. Score Syphon Fission 1, Spaz 1, and Sam Potright 0.
GP:This is going to be hard for Potright to come back, as we see Spaz pick up Fission, and he's... he's taking him outside of the arena! We're battling on the outside of the Corestate's spectrum, as Spaz throws Fission into those obviously cold metal guardrails!
JT:That has to knock that cold wind right out of you. Spaz has Fission by his hair, and they are actually crossing the street!
Nikki:They are heading right for Veteran's Stadium! That dump hasn't been fixed in years!
GP:Spaz has Fission, as they are climbing the gates at Veterans Stadium! Dear god! They've climbed that front gate, and are battling it out on top! You can see the statue of Rocky in the background, as Spaz and Fission give it their all! Spaz is falling! He's failing! And Syphon Fission delivers one more hard right, which sends Spaz flying!
(Spaz lands hard on the cold ground, shoulder first. He clutches his shoulder as Fission drops down from the gate entrance.)
GP:This is just going to last for a while, they could wind up in Maryland before the nights over!
JT:Syphon Fission is battling with Spaz, as he's sending Spaz right into the Rocky sculpture! Repeatedly, but Spaz blocks one, and pushes Fission into it! Spaz grabs Fission, and sends him front flipping into the loose fencing! Fission just broke his way into Veteran's Stadium!
Nikki:And Spaz of course follows him in. Spaz has Fission, as he's sending him right into the seats with an irish whip. A low one I might add! Spaz comes flying in and hooks Fission, and nails him with a huge ddt!
(We cut to the arena, as we see Potright up, looking around. He catches a glimpse of Syphon Fission's time machine on the ring apron, as we fade back to the Vet.)
GP:I wonder what Potright has planned, Spaz in the arena with a cover on Syphon, 1-2-NO!
(All of a sudden, a time machine appears, as Sam Potright steps out of it.)
JT:Wow! It's a traveling device too!
GP:Potright grabs Spaz, WAR WITHIN A BREATH! WAR WITHIN A BREATH! SPAZ IS DOWN! 1-2-3! WE'RE ALL TIED UP AT ONE!!!
Ring Announcer:Sam Potright wins the fall, with the score Syphon Fission 1, Spaz 1, and Sam Potright 1.
JT:Potright has the adrenaline rush going!
(All of a sudden, Potright slips on a wet spot from a leak in the roof of Veteran's Stadium. Spaz capitalizes and dives onto Potright with a frogsplash...)
GP:Spaz! 1-2-NO! Syphon Fission breaks up the count at the last possible second! Fission grabs Spaz, and HE JUST TOSSED SPAZ DOWN THE STAIRCASE! SPAZ IS ROLLING DOWN THAT STAIRCASE ALA MICK FOLEY FROM THE HALFTIME HEAT!
JT:Spaz hits the blue and red guardrail hard, but not after falling about a whole level!
Nikki:Potright is back to his feet, as he grabs Syphon From behind, but Fission turns Potright around, kick to the gut... DEATH PLUNGE! OH MY GOD! FISSION AND POTRIGHT WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE STADIUM! THEY JUST BROKE A FLOOR IN THE STADIUM!
JT:Jeez, I didn't think it was in that poor of a shape!
GP:Our camera's are trying to get down there as quick as possible...
Nikki:Greg, WHERE IS THERE!
GP:I have no clue... our Referee is trying to get there as well, as Spaz is slowly making his way back up the stairs.
(Spaz reaches the top staircase and scratches his head. He then begins to run after the referee.)
JT:This is nuts, Syphon Fission could have the thing won right now! But NOOOO! We've got to be right across the street from VETERAN'S Stadium! If only this match was taking place three years from now...
GP:You know, we COULD have that arranged JT...
Nikki:We've got 15 minutes left in this matchup, hopefully someone will hurry down there and find out what the hell is going on.
JT:We could be here for a while, no one really knows how to get a job done around here except me... so, expect the referee to take six to ten years.
(We regain feed, as we see Syphon Fission and Sam Potright battling in a subway. A speeding train rushes by, almost taking the arms off of Fission and Potright. They both step back, as Fission hits a huge back body drop onto a bench on Potright.)
GP:And here we go! Fission and Potright have gotten down to the subway levels, I'm not sure how.. the Vet isn't even above a subway!
JT:Don't ask Greg. If that's the only question you have in these past three hours, then damn, you're a lucky man.
GP:Fission is hammering away at Potright, as he picks him up. He's going to go for the Death Plunge one more time, right through the bench, but Potright reverses it! Potright slips out and lands on his feet on the floor.
JT:Potright is going for War Within a Breath! But Fission throws Potright off! Potright hits the wall, and comes back, as Fission nails a huge neck suplex!
Nikki:Potright has to be hurting majorly, beyond all belief. He's been in five matches, he's been destroyed!
GP:And wait! Spaz comes flying down the steps and catches Syphon Fission... Hey, this subway looks like something out of that Playstation game... what was it...
GP:No JT, it's late, that was Syphon Filter.
JT:Oh, same effect.
Nikki:Spaz is hammering away at Fission, and catches him with a huge vertical suplex in this small area! Spaz keeps the hook, as Potright comes out of nowhere!
Sam Potright:You know the day destroys the night...Night divides the day.Tried to run. Tried to hide... Break on through to the other side...
GP:It's Lunatic Pandora! He charges Spaz and hooks Fission out of it! Pandora hooks Spaz, huge vertical suplex on Spaz! Pandora picks up Spaz once more, and hits a massive ddt, and, hooks him up, and a HUGE inverted DDT sends Spaz down to the hard cold marble floor.
JT:Syphon Fission up, as Pandora hits him in the gut with an elbow. Pandora hooks Fission, and climbs up on the bench! He nailes TATTOO OF THE SUN ON FISSION! DEAR GOD!
Nikki:But Pandora has cooled down, and he can't get to his feet! Pandora's hurting majorly, as is Fission and Spaz. All three men have suffered beatings worse than anything I've seen before in my life.
GP:It might be safe to call the match right now. Maybe we can solve this on Hostile Takeover? But for all I know, all three men are down, and they aren't getting up...
JT:Why isn't the referee counting them down?
GP:No countouts JT, it doesn't matter, no one would get the fall anyway!
Nikki:Potright crawls over, and draps his arm over Spaz! 1-2-NO! Kickout by Spaz! Just barely! Dear god, I can't believe it!
GP:Potright and Spaz are both getting to their feet, Syphon Fission doesn't look like he will for a while. Potright grabs Spaz, and they are climbing up the subway stairs. Potright is trying to grind Spaz's face right into the escalator. He's cutting Spaz up on that escalator, and you're go to know that's not sanitary!
JT:Potright tosses Spaz, and he's just pushing Spaz around. Potright hip tosses Spaz out of the esculator, and climbs up onto the handrail. He dives off and nails Spaz with a huge leg drop on the concrete! Potright with a cover, 1-2-NO! Spaz gets a shoulder up!
Nikki:Potright has Spaz, as he's taking him back into the arena! Dear god, that subway was right underneath the Corestates Spectrum!
GP:Wait, Fission, as we can see, is trying to catch up to Potright and Spaz as we speak. Potright is sending Spaz into the arena, as they are battling it out. They are giving each other rights and lefts as we speak. Potright and Spaz, they've emerged at the top of our rampway! Dear god!
JT:Potright and Spaz take the fight to the ring.. Spaz hooks Potright for Spazzed Out! But Potright avoids it... could we see War within a breath?
Nikki:It's Syphon Fission! He's racing out! Sam Potright just nailed Spaz with War Within a breath! The time is dwindling! Fission hits the ring, DEATH PLUNGE! HE JUST CAUGHT POTRIGHT WITH THE DEATH PLUNGE! FISSION DROPS HIS ARMS ONTO BOTH SPAZ AND POTRIGHT! 1-2-3!!!! Fission! He's got it!
Ring Announcer:And Fission recieves two falls for his pin, and goes up 3, to 1, to 1... with three minutes remaining!
GP:Oh my god! Fission has this thing locked almost! Fission goes over to his corner, and he's relieved! Potright however is back up to his feet, and he grabs Fission, and HE JUST NAILED WAR WITHIN A BREATH! OH MY GOD! POTRIGHT COVERS FISSION! 1-2-3! POTRIGHT GAINS A FALL WITH JUST MINUTES TO SPAIR!
JT:SPAZ IS UP! SPAZZED OUT ON POTRIGHT! HE JUST CAUGHT POTRIGHT! PIN! 1-2-3! ANOTHER FALL! DEAR GOD! THEY ARE ALL FALLING LIKE CRAZY NOW!
Nikki:Spaz grabs Potright back up off the mat, and he's going for his top rope ddt, the Spaz-Out! No! Potright reverses it and sends Spaz flying down to the mat! RIGHT IN POSITION! HANGING CRUCIFIX! HANGING CRUCIFIX! 1-2-3! POTRIGHT TIED FISSION POTRIGHT TIED FISSION!
Ring Announcer:Syphon Fission 3, Spaz 2, and Sam Potright 3, with 90 seconds remaining!
GP:This is a flury of offense here in the waining moments! Fission has Potright now, and he's going for another huge death plunge! No! Huge Tigerdriver powerbomb! Into a cover, 1-2-NO! Spaz barely stopped it! Spaz grabs Fission, with the last of his strength, up top, Spaztic Combustion!!! DEAR GOD! HE HIT IT! SPAZTIC COMBUSTION! SPAZ! 1-2-3! DEAR GOD! SPAZ TIED IT UP! SPAZ TIED IT UP!
Ring Announcer:Syphon Fission 3, Spaz 3, Sam Potright 3... ONE MINUTE REMAINING!
JT:Wait, Spaz has Potright now hooked in a sleeper, and Fission hooks Spaz, HUGE INVERTED DDT! POTRIGHT HIT THE MAT HARD AS WELL! FISSION DIVES ONTO POTRIGHT! 1-2-3!!!! DEAR GOD! THE WEAR DOWN IS SHOWING! IT IS SHOWING!
Nikki:Spaz is holding the back of his neck, as is Potright. Potright rolls out of the ring, as Spaz is trying to get to his feet. Twenty seconds left, as Syphon is celebrating.
GP:Wait! Spaz catches Fission from behind, and throws him up top. Spaz climbs up... TWISTING TOP ROPE DDT! WHAT A VARIATION OF THE SPAZ-OUT!!!
*Ding, ding, ding*
JT:BEATEN BY THE BUZZER! DEAR GOD!
Ring Announcer:You're winner, and new Major Push Candidate... SYPHON FISSION!!!!!
(All of a sudden we see a man walk out from the back, as he hits the ring, he grabs Syphon Fission, and nails him with a pedigreeish move.)
GP:OH MY GOD! DYNAMO!!! IT'S SCOTT LINX! SCOTT LINX IS HERE! HE JUST LAID OUT THE WINNER OF THIS TOURNAMENT! DEAR GOD!!!!
JT:The IWO Will never be the same again, as Linx has just laid out Syphon Fission! What in the world is going on!
(We fade out to a promo of Ice age 3, as we then face back into the ring. Sam Potright is shown exiting the ring slowly, but we hear the slow sounds of laughter. We see a man clouded in black confront Potright at the ramp on his way to the back.)
JT:What the hell is this idiot doing here.
GP:JT, I wouldn't mess with him, he's got one huge arm, he's one huge man right about now. Potright must know this, in the condition he is in?
Nikki:Potright, he has a chair, and he just swung at this man! This man eats the steel, and falls down to the rampway, and Potright walks through and heads to the back.
(Potright turns around, curious about what this man wants. This man unmasks, as we see the familar face of...)
GP:OH MY GOD! JUSTIN SHACK! WHO! WHAT! HOW IN THE HELL CAN THAT BE SHACK!
Shack:Welcome Potright... to my level of Extreme....
(Potright leaves to the back, as Shack just stares the back entrance down.)
JT:JUSTIN SHACK RETURNS TO THE IWO! AND SO DOES SCOTT LINX! DEAR GOD! I'M SHOCKED RIGHT NOW!!!!
North American Title Match
AWS Man (also known as Bill) v. High Flyer v. Rob Kestler
GP: And here we go...
JT: It's time for the North American Title match!
GP: That's my line.
JT: I don't care. So HA!
Nikki: Well, this is the finals of the North American title tourney. The final competitors have been checked out and ready for competition.
JT: When you say "Checked out", do you mean that you've seen these people naked?
*ding, ding, ding*
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is the finals of the North American title tournament!
Ring Announcer: We have been informed by My Dick that this match will have a stipulation!
JT: OH GOODIE! STIPULATIONS RULE!
Ring Announcer: The rules are simple. Around the ring will be fake plastic coins that have been painted blood red. In order to win the match, you must completely bury your opponent with these coins, put a foot on
them, and then sing the lyrics to "Song for America" by Kansas. Don't worry, IWO fans. Since none of the competitors know the lyrics of the song, we'll settle for saying "Derp" three times.
JT: What kinda stipulation is that?
(Suddenly, the pit of red coins appears out of nowhere.)
Nikki: Where the hell did THAT come from?
GP: I dunno, but it'll make for one hell of a match!
("Three Point One Four" by the Bloodhound Gang plays as the crowd does a pop that would impress TNN. Or not. But it's a pretty damned big pop, because it's AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s music! And he walks to
ringside, accompanied by Pen, who rests on AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s shoulder. AWS Man (also known as Bill) also carries with him the IWO Pacific Title.)
Ring Announcer: First... from Freakville, North Carolina... wherever in the hell that is. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty-four pounds... he is seconded tonight by the IWO's most DANGEROUS inanimate manager,
Pen! He is the MASTER of the Win the Freakin' Machifier... HE IS AWS MAN (also known as Bill)!!!
(AWS Man (also known as Bill) climbs into the ring and sets Pen down in the corner. He awaits the other two men.)
JT: This guy had some rigorous training going into this match. Lots of porno, lots of head. He's ready to go.
GP: Uh, yeah.
("Loco" by Coal Chamber plays as the cheers turn to boos. High Flyer comes out... accompanied by Kate Young, as always. Flyer isn't selling snow nowadays, so of course, the fans turned on him. We are all sad for
this turn of events and... oh yeah. High Flyer leaps over the top rope and lands on the second turnbuckle to raise his arms for more boos.)
Ring Announcer: Next, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania... weighing in at two hundred and four pounds... he is seconded by the lovely Kate Young... he is the self-proclaimed "Greatest Cruiserweight Ever"... and the
master of the Flying Moon Shot... HE IS HIGH FLYER!
JT: This guy's my pick to win the title.
GP: Okay. But AWS Man (also known as Bill) has been on a roll, lately.
(And now, the match sta- ...wait, I forgot. "Stayin' Alive" by Ozzy Osbourne starts playing as the fans go NUTS for the former IWO World Champion... Rob Kestler! Kestler comes out, seconded by Cassie, who is a sillykins. Kestler steps through the ropes and then falls over in the ring to the fans' delight. He gets up.)
Ring Announcer: And their opponent... from Minneapolis, Minnesota... weighing in at three hundred and twenty-three pounds... seconded by the silly Cassie... he is a former IWO World Champion and the MASTER of the
CALL FROM BEYOND... he is ROB KESTLER!
*ding, ding, ding*
GP: Well, it's a triple threat match, and so, uh, stuff will happen. I guess.
JT: Yeah. Stuff'll happen. LIKE HIGH FLYER WINNING THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! HAHAHAHA!
GP: Flyer and AWS Man (also known as Bill) lock up, with Kestler playing Tic Tac Toe with Cassie!
JT: Does he even know a match is going on?
Nikki: Doubtful. This IS Rob Kestler, after all.
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) forces Flyer into the corner, the referee wants the break, but Flyer knees AWS Man (also known as Bill) in the stomach and nails him with a dropkick to send him to the canvas!
GP: Kestler and Cassie are still playing Tic Tac Toe.
Nikki: Thanks, Greg.
JT: Flyer whips AWS Man (also known as Bill) into the corner, wait, no! AWS Man (also known as Bill) reverses and... FLYER RUNS RIGHT INTO KESTLER!
GP: Kestler turns around and sends Flyer out of his corner with a forearm shiver!
Nikki: Flyer turns around and takes a right hand from AWS Man (also known as Bill).
GP: He turns around again and takes another forearm from Kestler.
JT: Flyer's a pinball right now, and AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Rob Kestler are the flippers.
Nikki: That stupid dolphin?
GP: Kestler charges at Flyer, but Flyer falls over and Kestler his AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a clothesline!
JT: Flyer kips up and nails Kestler with a stiff dropkick in the back of the head, which sends Kestler into the corner, head first!
Nikki: Flyer rolls to his feet as AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets back to his feet. Flyer kicks AWS Man (also known as Bill) in the stomach and tries for a DDT!
JT: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks him up and drops him on the mat with a sort-of sidewalk slam!
GP: Kestler has recovered and he picks up Flyer and sets him up for the Call From Beyond!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) catches Kestler with a flying clothesline!
GP: But these guys are stablemates!
JT: It's for the North American title! Let them tear the shit out of each other!
GP: Oh, okay.
JT: Well, now AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a Russian leg sweep on Kestler and now he goes to the outside!
Nikki: He's going for Win the Freakin' Matchifier already!
GP: Oh! But Flyer dropkicks him and AWS Man (also known as Bill) falls to the apron!
JT: Kestler's up, but Flyer ducks behind him and nails a bulldog!
GP: Flyer with the cover! ...but he forgot the rules of the match!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Flyer's head!
GP: Flyer's hurt, so OF COURSE AWS Man (also known as Bill) grabs Flyer... DDT!
JT: Rob Kestler's back up and he clotheslines the hell out of AWS Man (also known as Bill)! Now Kestler grabs AWS Man (also known as Bill) and nails him with a suplex! Floatover into the cover! BUT HE FORGOT THE
RULES OF THE MATCH!
GP: And Flyer with an extremely LOW dropkick to the face of Rob Kestler!
Nikki: Now Flyer picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill and gets him with a double leg takedown... now he has the leg and goes for a figure four leglock!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) shoves Flyer off, and Flyer falls to the floor!
JT: Kestler's up as is AWS Man (also known as Bill), but Kestler grabs AWS Man (also known as Bill) and puts him down with a belly-to-belly suplex!
Nikki: Kestler has the obvious size advantage in this match.
JT: Duh! He's THREE HUNDRED POUNDS!
GP: Yeah... well, Flyer's back up on the apron, and... springboard dropkick to Kestler's face! Shades of Shinjiro Ohtani with that move!
GP: A Japanese guy with a wicked springboard dropkick, of course!
JT: Now, AWS Man (also known as Bill) is trying to get back on his feet, Flyer comes over but takes a BIG jawbreaker from AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
GP: Flyer stumbles around and takes a swinging neckbreaker by Kestler!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) rushes at Kestler, but Kestler ducks down and nails AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a big Samoan drop!
GP: Good move by Kestler!
GP: Now Kestler gets up and grabs Flyer, who was just now recovering... double arm powerbomb! No cover, and I guess Kestler knows what he has to do!
Nikki: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) is up and he catches Kestler from behind with a second rope clothesline!
JT: All three men are down!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is slowly getting to his feet and he drops an elbow on Flyer to keep him down.
JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Flyer and whips him into the ropes, Flyer reverses... and Kestler meets AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!
GP: Flyer charges in on Kestler, but Kestler grabs an arm, moves behind Flyer... full nelson atomic drop! Good move by Kestler!
Nikki: Now Kestler is calling for the Call From Beyond!
JT: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets back up and catches Kestler from behind with a stiff front dropkick which launches Kestler right toward Flyer... who pulls down the top rope and Kestler falls into the fake money pit!
GP: Now it's down to AWS Man (also known as Bill) and High Flyer, and they lock up again, with AWS Man (also known as Bill) sending Flyer off the ropes! Tilt-a-whirl backbre- no! Headscissor takedown by Flyer!
Nikki: Flyer is cooking now! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is back on his feet, only to take another stiff dropkick from High Flyer! Right in the face, too!
GP: High Flyer probably has the stiffest damned dropkicks in the IWO right now.
("NADER FOR PRESIDENT" by the Local Nader Fan Club Band starts playing. Only Nikki notices.)
JT: Considering that that dropkick literally echoed through the arena... yeah, I agree.
Nikki: Uh, guys?
GP: What is it, Nikki?
Nikki: What's that music?
JT: IT'S RALPH NADER! HE HITS THE RING! GREEN PARTY FORESTER(Evenflow DDT) ON HIGH FLYER! GREEN PARTY FORESTER ON AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! KESTLER IS BACK IN THE RING! GREEN PARTY RIGHTS OF TREES(Downward Spiral) ON ROB KESTLER! MY GOD!
Ralph Nader: MUWHAHAHA! I HAVE SHANGHAIED YOUR EVIL TREE-DESTROYING WRESTLING PROMOTION!
GP: No! Ralph Nader has taken over the IWO Ring!
(Suddenly, some drums start playing, followed by rap music. Two white guys come out and start rapping. Badly.)
Rapper 1: WE ARE THE NATION OF DEPORTATION, LIVE AND IN COLOR!
Rapper 2: DON'T DISS THE MAN OR WE'LL DEPORT YOUR MOTHER!
Rapper 1: LISTEN TO BUCHANAN, FOR HE LIVES IN A LABORATORY!
Rapper 2: MESS WITH THE NATION AND WE'LL SEND YOU TO A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY!
(Suddenly, Pat Buchanan RUNS DOWN TO RINGSIDE and absolutely kicks the shit out of Nader.)
JT: MY GOD! PAT BUCHANAN IS HERE! AND HE'S UNLOADING ON NADER WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS!
GP: BUCHANAN WHIPS NADER INTO THE ROPES AND HE HAS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! HE'S CALLING FOR IT!
Nikki: Wait! ELIAN GONZALEZ OUT OF THE CROWD! CHOP BLOCK TO THE KNEE!
GP: Nader gets dropped, but Buchanan with a kick to Elian's nuts! Now Buchanan grabs Elian! OH MY GOD! HE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT!
JT: DEPORTATION PROCLAMATION(Death Valley Driver)! DEPORTATION PROCLAMATION ON ELIAN GONZALEZ! ELIAN GONZALEZ MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!
Nikki: Ralph Nader's back up and there's some more brawling between Buchanan and Nader!
JT: Nader with a kick in the midsection, going for the Green Parter Deforester! No! Buchanan with a northern lights suplex!
GP: Nader gets back up and spears Buchanan!
JT: Nader unloads on Buchanan with right hands, but Kestler pulls Buchanan off!
Nikki: ONLY TO TAKE ANOTHER GREEN PARTY DEFORESTER!
GP: Damn. Kestler's getting killified out here, now!
JT: But Buchanan has Nader! He lifts him up... DEPORTATION PROCLAMATION! THAT'S IT FOR NADER! HE'S DONE!
(Suddenly, "Al Gore Is Your God" by the Al Gore Band plays as Al Gore leaps from the crowd and climbs into the ring.)
GP: Oh my god! What now!?
JT: It's AL GORE!
GP: Buchanan doesn't know Gore's here!
Nikki: Gore sneaks up on Buchanan!
GP: He spins him around... kick to the gut... INVENTION OF THE INTERNET(Stunner)! BUCHANAN'S DONE!
JT: My GOD! Al Gore hit his devastating Invention of the Internet move and that should be all she wrote!
Nikki: But Al Gore isn't in any sort of match!
GP: Al Gore is celebrating in the ring and doing crotch chops over the out cold body of Pat Buchanan! Now he drags Buchanan to the corner and... oh no! He's not going to!
Nikki: He is! Gore sets him up... TENNESSEE YEEHAW BUSTER(Bronco Buster)! HE'S RIDING HIM LIKE A... UH... SOMETHING!
JT: How about "Riding him like JT rides Nikki in bed!"
JT: I saw that one coming.
JT: Look in the mirror.
GP: Gore's got a mic!
Al Gore: HEY, BUCHANAN! DEPORT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!
(Al Gore flips Buchanan the bird.)
GP: What the hell?
(Suddenly, sirens blare out as Thomas Welsk and members of the PTC come out to a HUGE chorus of boos. They head to the ring, but a bunch of aardvarks come out, as Elian Gonzalez has recovered.)
GP: MY GOD! THE AARDVARKS ARE ASSAULTING THE PTC!
JT: WELSK IS LIFTED UP! AARDVARK ANARCHY ANNIHILATION!! 3A!
Nikki: THE PTC HAS BEEN DECIMATED BY AARDVARKS!
GP: Elian Gonzalez looks pleased, and he slides into the ring and starts laying in the bare feet on Pat Buchanan!
JT: Al Gore comes over and stomps on Buchanan, too!
GP: Buchanan's out, though!
JT: I know!
(Suddenly... THE LIGHTS GO OUT!)
JT: AAAAHHHH! THE DARKNESS! I'M PISSING MY PANTS AGAIN!
JT: IT'S NOT FUNNY! NOW I'VE GOT TO GO CHANGE MY PANTS!
(JT runs off. Suddenly, an apparition appears in JT's spot.)
Apparition: Calm down, geez... I'm here to guess commentate.
GP: Wait a second... are you who I think you are?
Apparition: Yeah, it's Joey Malone!
GP: But how are you here?
Joey Malone: Telepathy. I'm not in the ringside area, but I appear as a ghost here for the time being.
Nikki: Oh, okay.
(Suddenly, a GONG is heard!)
Voice: I'm scared...
Little girls: HE'S HERE!
Boy Eyesuck: I... AM... AMERICAN DUMBASS... WATCH ME SUCK DICK AND THEN YOU COULD KICK MY ASS! I SUCK MORE THAN THE AVERAGE MAN AND I GIVE MORE GAY SEX THAN YOU, IN THE END!
(The lights come back on, and suddenly, THE OVERFUCKER comes out on a scooter. He raises his sixty-year old excuse for an arm and the crowd goes apathetic. He rides to ringside, then climbs up the apron with a bit of effort, and steps over the top rope, but somehow doesn't break his back doing so!)
Al Gore: Uh oh.
Elian Gonzalez: Uh oh!
GP: MY GOD! IT'S THE OVERFUCKER! AND HE HAS CANE... HIS WALKING STICK, WITH HIM!
Malone: Oh, lookie! Nader's back on his feet!
Ralph Nader: NO! THIS CANNOT BE!
Nikki: THE OVERFUCKER WITH A WEAK SWING AT GONZALEZ! OH MY GOD! GONZALEZ GOES DOWN HARD!
GP: NOW THE OVERFUCKER GRABS GORE! THE SUPERWEDGIE(Last Ride Powerbomb)!
Malone: Ah hah!
("The Doughboy From Hell" by the Pillsbury Doughboy Band plays as the fans go ABSOLUTELY NUTS!)
GP: OH MY GOD! OOHH MMYY GGOODD! HE'S HERE! THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY IS HERE!
Malone: Woohoo! Here's my partner-in-crime!
GP: WELSK RUSHES AT HIM AS HE HAS RECOVERED! FINAL GIGGLE! FINAL GIGGLE!
Nikki: The Doughboy marches to the ring! He grabs Nader! FINAL GIGGLE! He grabs Gonzalez! FINAL GIGGLE! He grabs Buchanan! FINAL GIGGLE! He grabs Gore! FINAL GIGGLE!
GP: My god! Final Giggles all around! And now the Doughboy is in a staredown with the Overfucker!
Malone: The Overfucker tries a right hand, but the Doughboy catches him. I think you know that this is a Final Giggle.
GP: Uh oh! The Doughboy is calling for it! The most COOKIFYING MOVE IN COOKIE ENTERTAINMENT!
Nikki: THE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE COOKIE DANCE(The Worm)! HE NAILS IT ON THE OVERFUCKER! THE OVERFUCKER EXPLODES!
GP: The Doughboy has cleared the ring and IWO security is getting rid of Buchanan, Gore, Gonzalez, and Nader!
Malone: The Pillsbury Doughboy is reviving Flyer, AWS Man (also known as Bill), and Rob Kestler with fresh baked brownies. Woohoo! I wish I weren't merely a transparent form right now, or I'd get in on the brownie
Nikki: Now the Doughboy leaves and throws brownies into the crowd! What a man!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes the first bit of offense by someone not associated with the election or aardvarks with a right hand to Flyer! Flyer returns it to him! Kestler with a right hand to AWS Man (also known as Bill)... but he punches both Flyer and Kestler at the same time!
Malone: Cute move.
Nikki: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) grabs Flyer and sets him up! Fisherman's buster to Flyer!
(JT comes back.)
JT: Out of my seat, Malone.
Malone: Oh, fine.
JT: The hell?
GP: Don't ask.
Nikki: Kestler OBLITERATES AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a clothesline and picks up Flyer! He puts him on his shoulders... Death Valley Driver!
GP: Flyer's getting killed out here!
JT: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets up, ducks Kestler's second clothesline, and gets him with a neckbreaker!
Nikki: Flyer is trying to pick himself off of the spot he was planted in, and he does so! AWS Man (also known as Bill) charges at him, but Flyer catches him with a flapjack!
JT: Flyer rolls to his feet and Kestler is playing Tic Tac Toe again?!
GP: Flyer pays him no mind and works over AWS Man (also known as Bill) some more, with stomps to his lower back!
Nikki: Flyer picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) and nails him with a scoop slam! Now Flyer runs across the ropes... and hits AWS Man (also known as Bill) with the Third Degree Frostbite(cartwheel elbowdrop)!
GP: But Kestler nails a Yakuza kick on Flyer before he can take advantage!
JT: Now Kestler grabs Flyer and puts him between his legs... he lifts him up! POWERBOMB!
GP: Vicious foldover powerbomb by Rob Kestler! But wait! Kestler's picking Flyer back up again!
Nikki: ANOTHER powerbomb!
JT: Kestler picks Flyer back up again! Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?!
GP: He lifts him up for a THIRD powerbomb, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a chopblock and Kestler and Flyer falls on top of Kestler!
JT: But Flyer collapses off of Kestler upon landing!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is measuring High Flyer!
JT: He's waiting for Flyer to get up!
GP: KNOCK YOUR FREAKI- NO! FLYER DUCKS! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) TURNS AROUND, FLYER KICKS HIM IN THE GUT... COLD SNOW(Side Embrace DDT)! COLD SNOW TO AWS MAN (also known as Bill)!! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) IS DOWN AND OUT!
Nikki: But so is Flyer! Flyer is exhausted!
GP: Wait! Flyer just kipped up!
JT: Damn you, Shawn Michaels!
GP: He's not Shawn Michaels.
Nikki: Flyer is climbing to the top rope! He's getting ready for the Flying Moon Shot!
GP: But wait! Kestler's back on his feet and he puts Flyer on his shoulders as Flyer was on the top rope! Kestler with a SLINGSHOT ELECTRIC CHAIR ON HIGH FLYER!
JT: What the hell!?
GP: Well, it was a GREAT move!
Nikki: Kestler rolls through with the slingshot electric chair... RIGHT INTO AN OCEAN CYCLONE SUPLEX!
GP: Where's AWS Man (also known as Bill)?
JT: Well, Greg, he's up on the top rope and he's got Pen!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) leaps! BRUTAL PENSHOT TO THE FOREHEAD OF KESTLER!
JT: KESTLER'S BUSTED OPEN! KESTLER'S BUSTED OPEN! MY SWEET BLOOD HAS COME TO ME TO HELP MAKE THIS MATCH NOT SUCK! YAHOO!
Nikki: You are SICK!
GR: Kestler's busted open, as Pen is covered in blood!
JT: Well, AWS Man (also known as Bill) always said that Pen is the IWO's most dangerous inanimate object, and those shots just proved it!
GP: Flyer is struggling to get back on his feet after the electric chair-Ocean Cyclone combo, and AWS Man (also known as Bill) is measuring him!
Nikki: KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF(Thrust Kick)! KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN HEAD OFF BY AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! FLYER WAS KNOCKED OUT OF THE RING BY THAT MOVE!
GP: But Kestler's back up! He's stumbling! AWS Man (also known as Bill) charges in! NO! KESTLER KICKS HIM IN THE GUT! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK! CALL FROM BEYOND(Double arm piledriver)! CALL FROM BEYOND! KESTLER HITS IT!
JT: But Kestler is spent! He took a brutal Penshot and many other shots!
Nikki: Everyone's down, Flyer's probably dead, AWS Man (also known as Bill) probably dead, and Kestler is bleeding to death!
("The George W. Bush Victory Song" plays as George W. Bush walks out to some sort of reaction. He rolls into the ring and grabs a microphone.)
GP: Uh oh. It's George W. Bush!
George W. Bush: HELLO MY LOVING PUBLIC!
(The crowd boos. Jack Night runs in.)
Jack Night: HELLO MY BITCH!
(Jack Night pulls out his latex glove and gives George W. Bush the CAVITY SEARCH!)
GP: CAVITY SEARCH(Mandible claw)! CAVITY SEARCH ON GEORGE W. BUSH!
JT: Now Jack Night is dragging George W. Bush away!
GP: High Flyer is back up, as well as Rob Kestler. But AWS Man (also known as Bill) is still a stain on the mat right now.
Nikki: Flyer rushes at Kestler, but Kestler catches him with a spinebuster!
GP: Kestler walks over to Flyer's head! Oh my god, NO!
JT: HE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT!
Nikki: Kestler takes off his elbow pad and throws it to the crowd! He waves his arms around like an idiot!
JT: He bounces off one side of the ropes, the other side... and he trips!
GP: He gets back up again... AND EATS FOOT BECAUSE AWS MAN (also known as Bill) JUST GOT UP WITH THE KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) just obliterated Kestler out of desperation!
GP: Everyone is down again!
JT: Dude, Greg! We just got the video tape back from the Florida voting thing!
GP: Oh? Neat. Let's go to that, since everyone's trying to not die out here.
(We go to Vincent who stands in front of Disneyworld. He holds his microphone with his penis.)
Vincent: FUCKING FUCK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING SHIT ASS COCKMONKEYS ASK ME TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT FUCKING FLORIDA!? IF FUCKING VINCENT HAD HIS MOTHERFUCKING WAY, HE'S MOTHERFUCKING BLOW FUCKING FLORIDA UP!
(Vincent goes over to a plunger marked "TNT".)
Vincent: FUCKING SEE YOU THE FUCK LATER, FUCKING DISNEYWORLD!
(Vincent activates it, and Disneyworld explodes behind Vincent.)
Vincent: BACK TO FUCKING YOU, MOTHERFUCKING SHIT ASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER GREG FUCKING PARKER.
(We go back to the match. High Flyer has collapsed against the turnbuckles. Rob Kestler is on one knee. AWS Man (also known as Bill) is on his feet, but dizzy.)
GP: That was, uhm, interesting.
Nikki: Good GOD! How are we going to pay for DISNEYWORLD getting blown up!
GP: Uh, I dunno.
JT: Well, AWS Man (also known as Bill) is back on his feet, and Flyer charges at him, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) backdrops him... RIGHT INTO KESTLER!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) wants Kestler to get back up! He scoops up Kestler and sets him up... DROP YOU ON YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD(Emerald Fusion)! THAT'S THE SETUP!
JT: What power by AWS Man (also known as Bill), to lift that three hundred pounder with an Emerald Fusion!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is calling for his finisher! He climbs to the top rope! WIN THE FREAKIN' MATCHIFIER(shooting stars press)! WIN THE FREAKIN' MATCHIFIER! THAT'S ALL FOR ROB KESTLER!
JT: But AWS Man (also known as Bill) is still tired, and AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets to his feet, only to get met with a double arm DDT by Flyer! Now Flyer climbs to the top rope, looking to put AWS Man (also known as Bill) away!
Nikki: FLYING MOON SHOT(Top rope backflip splash) BY FLYER! NOW AWS MAN (also known as Bill) IS DOWN AND PROBABLY OUT!
GP: My GOD! These people haven't even tried to win the mat- oh wait, here we go!
JT: Flyer rolls AWS Man (also known as Bill) outside the ring and he begins the burial of AWS Man (also known as Bill) under the red coins!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is buried! Now Flyer puts his boot on his chest... or what we're assuming is his chest!
Nikki: But Kestler is somehow to his feet and he shoves Flyer off of AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is out from being buried, now, although he's still hurt!
Nikki: WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S SPARROW!
JT: WAIT A MINUTE! NO ONE CARES!
GP: WAIT A MINUTE! A STUFFED COW JUST FELL ON SPARROW! SPARROW'S OUT!
Nikki: Kestler just saved this match!
GP: You're a bit late on that remark, because Kestler threw Flyer back in the ring.
JT: Now Kestler puts Flyer on the top rope and joins him, but Flyer punches him off and climbs to the top rope... DRAGONRANA!
GP: NO! KESTLER CAUGHT FLYER! KESTLER CAUGHT FLYER IN MIDAIR!
Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is up top!
JT: DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON HIGH FLYER!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is back up now, and he catches Kestler in the face with a VERY stiff dropkick to the forehead!
Nikki: Kestler falls out to the apron, now, while AWS Man (also known as Bill) picks up Flyer again and takes him to the top turnbuckle!
GP: Oh my GOD! AWS Man (also known as Bill) has Flyer set up for Break Your Freakin' Neck on the TOP!
JT: But LOOK AT KESTLER! KESTLER SHAKES THE ROPES AND AWS MAN (also known as Bill) crotches himself on the top turnbuckle!
Nikki: Now Flyer's climbing up on AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s
GP: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! FLYER WITH A OFF-THE-TOP-ROPE-AND-OFF-OF-AWS-MAN (also known as Bill)-HURRACANRANA ON TO KESTLER OFF THE APRON AND INTO THE FAKE MONEY PIT!
JT: Ho-lee SHIT.
Nikki: Flyer is back up and he rolls back into the ring, SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK TO AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! That sends AWS Man (also known as Bill) to the outside!
JT: Now what's Flyer doing?
GP: Flyer is waiting for Kestler to get up!
Nikki: Kestler's up... AND FLYER WITH A 3RD ROPE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO ROB KESTLER!
JT: Okay. All of these guys are nuts.
GP: JT... this is HIGH FLYER... ROB KESTLER... AND AWS MAN (also known as Bill). THEY WERE WAY BEYOND FUCKED UP BEFORE HIS MATCH WAS EVER EVEN DECIDED UPON!
JT: Oh, okay.
Nikki: Now Flyer brings Kestler back into the ring, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) is climbing out as well!
JT: Flyer leaps to the top rope and waits for Kestler to get up... MISSILE DROPKICK BY FLYER!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) climbs to the top rope, but so does Flyer!
Nikki: OH MY GOD! DOUBLE SHOOTING STARS PRESS! BUT THAT'S THE MENSTRUAL FLOW!
GP: My god! These two just did the Team Tampax finisher and High Flyer doesn't even LIKE Team Tampax!
JT: All three men are down and out, because that took a lot out of Flyer and AWS Man (also known as Bill).
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) rolls out of the ring... what does he have?
JT: A steel chair!
Nikki: Aww, man! This was a great pure match, too!
JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) reaches under the ring and gets a table!
GP: What? Did AWS Man (also known as Bill) get called AWS Man or Bill or That Guy Who Says Freak A Lot and we didn't catch it?
Nikki: Whatever the reason, AWS Man (also known as Bill) has these items and Flyer is getting back on his feet...
GP: CHAIRSHOT BY AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! That puts High Flyer on the mat!
JT: Now what's AWS Man (also known as Bill) doing? He grabs Flyer... BREAK YOUR FREAKIN' NECK(Inverted DVD)! FLYER'S OUT!
GP: Now... what the hell!?
Nikki: IT'S MIKE MARCHESE!
Mike Marchese: Now Skip... how can I play "Tag Skip With A Flamethrower" when you keep running away?
(Marchese unleashes a blast from the flamethrower, right into the fake money pit, which sets all of the coins on fire and melts them.)
Mike Marchese: Oh fudge.
(Fudge, indeed. Marchese leaves.)
GP: O... kay...
JT: Dude, how is AWS Man (also known as Bill) going to bury High Flyer with the coins all melted?
Nikki: Hey, he should be lucky that he got Flyer and himself out in time.
JT: Well, AWS Man (also known as Bill) throws Flyer back into the ring, but look! Up on the apron! Kate Young with a low blow to AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
GP: HYPOTHERMIA(Morning Star Suplex)! HYPOTHERMIA BY HIGH FLYER!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is down! Flyer with another desperation move to take down AWS Man (also known as Bill!
Nikki: Oh my GOD! Rob Kestler has peeled himself off of the canvas!
GP: NOW IS THE TIME WHEN WE DANCE!
(Music plays, and Greg Parker jumps up on the announce table and dances the robot. During this time, Rob Kestler kicks Flyer in the gut and T-Bone Suplexes him to the canvas. Then he catches AWS Man (also known as
Bill) with a Gargoyle suplex. Then a butterfly suplex on Flyer. Parker sits back down. JT is, uh, confused.)
JT: Greg... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
GP: I dunno.
JT: Well, Kestler was DESTROYING everyone with suplexes, and now he has the table... and he grabs AWS Man (also known as Bill)!
GP: He puts him on the table! This could be! This might be!
Nikki: NO! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) IS BLOCKING!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a low blow to Kestler! This allows Flyer to get up on the table!
JT: FLYERDRIVER(Modified spinning sitdown slam) THROUGH THE TABLE ON KESTLER! AWS MAN (also known as Bill) WAS KNOCKED OFF OF THE TABLE AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!
GP: Everyone's down again!
Nikki: Nice one, Captain Obvious.
GP: Well, it's TRUE!
JT: All three men have beaten the PISS out of one another!
GP: Flyer's getting up slowly...
JT: And he drags Rob Kestler to the center of the ring!
GP: Flyer is climbing to the top rope! But wait! WAIT! CASSIE JUST JUMPED UP ON THE APRON AND THAT ACTION JUST CROTCHED HIGH FLYER ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!
Nikki: And Kate Young just pulled Cassie off of the apron!
JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) drags himself to his feet and tries something with Flyer, but Flyer's trying to fight him off!
GP: Kestler's back on his feet and he just SHOVED AWS Man (also known as Bill) off of the top and to the floor!
JT: Flyer hits a back elbow on Kestler, and... what's Flyer doing?!
GP: FLYING MOON SHOT! FLYING MOON SHOT OFF THE TOP AND ONTO AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! KESTLER TRIES TO GO OUTSIDE, BUT FLYER GRABS A STEEL CHAIR AND BLASTS HIM WITH IT!
JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill is damn near drowning in the melted money, and Flyer puts his foot on his chest!
*ding, ding, ding*
Ring Announcer: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH... AND *NEW* IWO NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION... HIIIGGGGHHHH FLLLYYYYYEEERRRRR!!!!
World Heavyweight Title Match
Psycho Jay -c- vs. Evan Levine vs. Phelen Kell
GP: Fans....its now time for the main event of the night! The match we have been waiting for... THE MATCH OF THE YEAR!!!
JT: The match where Evan gets the world title!
Nikki: Yeah, in his dreams. Evan might be all that...but he can't measure up to the greatness of Phelen Kell, a former champ in his own right, and the man that really made that belt!
JT: Well, you know if you stopped sucking up long enough maybe.... JUST MAYBE! You would be able to realize that Evan will be walking out with the World title tonight!
GP: You know...we have one Phelen Kell...and JT is for Evan Levine....but who is for Jay?
JT: NO ONE!!! Because no one likes him....The guy bitches and bitches about how he's so great and everyone is so bad.....and then when it comes down to someone being better then him.....they cheated!
GP: Oddly....he makes sence!
Nikki: I guess he does once and a while! So....should we give him the doggie treat now?
GP: No...lets save that and go to the ring and MEYGON!!!
Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the IWO main event of the night! Coming to the ring first!!!! From South Philadelphia, PA!!!! Standing 6'8'!!! And weighting in at 320 pounds, he is the current IWO world champ! HE IS!!!! PSYCHO JAY!!!!!!
["Divine" by KoRn starts to play as the fans come to their feet! Psycho Jay walks out with the IWO world title in his hands and looks to the fans! He walks to the ring as Meygon goes on.]
Meygon: Coming to the ring next! From Chicago, IL.!!!! Standing 6'2" and weighting in at 270 pounds...HE IS THE "LEGEND"!!! THE MYTH!!! HE IS PHELEN KELL!!!!
['Sober' by TOOL starts to play as the fans go NUTS!!! Phelen Kell walks out with a stunning display of fireworks! He looks to the fans as he makes his way to the ring!]
Meygon: And coming to the ring last.....From Philadelphia, PA!!!! Standing 6'4" weighting in at 249 pounds...He is The Real Heel....and Self Proclaimed Man To be better then GOD! HE IS EVAN LEVINE!!!!
[The words "THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMING" are heard thoughout the building as the fans start to boo. "I am your Boogie man" by White Zombie starts to play as Evan walks out and stands at the top of the ramp! He
looks to the fans and makes his way to the ring]
GP: All the men are in the ring....and World War 3 is about to happen!
*Ding Ding Ding*
GP: And fans, this World Title main event is underway. We've got Kell, Evan, and Jay just standing there, circling each other. Who will make the first move? Evan runs over and tackles Jay right away. Evan starts to pound away
on the champ. But Kell comes from behind and grabs Evan by the waist. He lifts Evan up and German suplexes him all the way across the ring.
JT: Evan hops right back up though and clotheslines Kell. Now Evan starts stomping away on the so-called "Legend". Evan grabs Kell by the head and starts repeatedly slamming Kell's head into the mat. Looks like your "Legend" isn't looking so good at the start.
Nikki: JT, this is just the start, Kell has plenty of time to make a comeback.
GP: Well Evan stops slamming Kell's head and picks him up. He takes Kell and attempts to send him into the ropes but Kell reverses and sends Evan in. Kell jumps up and nails a drop kick onto the returning Evan. Evan is now down on the mat as Kell begins to pound away on Evan.
Nikki: What'd I tell ya JT?
JT: Ah shut up, Evan's gonna walk away champ, I guarantee it.
Nikki: Yea, right. Anyway, Jay comes over to help Kell out, as they both pick up Evan and send him into the ropes. They lock hands and execute a double clothesline sending the Real Heel crashing down to the mat. The two of them look at each other and begin stomping away on Evan.
JT: Oh c'mon! This isn't fair!
GP: Actually JT, it's all legal in this match. Kell and Jay now pick up Evan, as Jay sets up Evan for a powerbomb and Kell helps Jay lifts him up and....Double Powerbomb!
Nikki: If Kell and Jay keep this up, it should be no problem getting rid of Evan.
JT: Well now the "Legend" and the Head-Humper are continuing their unfair attack on Evan by setting him up again for another Powerbomb. Jay executes the powerbomb, but Kell comes midway and slaps a neck-breaker on Evan! Now Kell picks Evan up and holds him by the arms.
Nikki: Jay has gone to the outside and grabbed a chair. He pops back into the ring where a dazed Evan is still in the grasp of Phelen Kell. Jay goes back and attempts to nail Evan, but Evan moves and Kell is on the receiving end of the chair shot!
JT: What a stupid move by Jay!.....I love it!
GP: Now Evan turns Jay around and nails him with a drop kick that sends him to the outside. Evan picks up Kell and sends him to the turnbuckle. Evan follows in and goes for a big splash.... but Kell lifts his foot and gives a
mouthful of leather. Now Kell takes Evan and slams his head into the turnbuckle. Kell grabs Evan by the head and executes a reverse DDT on the Real Hell! Kell makes the cover....
JT: Evan is far from out.
Nikki: Well now Jay slides back into the ring and Kell gets face to face with him. They now seem to be trash-talking each other, obviously about the chair shot earlier, and Jay shoves Kell. Kell replies with a push of
his own. Now Jay pushes Kell to the mat and Kell hops back up and does the same. Jay throws a left to the face of Kell, and Kell throws a right at Jay and now they are trading punches. They now lock up and go to the other side of the ring. Jay locks on a headlock on Kell, but Kell immediately reverses with a belly-to-back suplex!
GP: Kell now on the offensive. He is now on top of Jay, as Kell is now punching Jay's face with his right fist.
JT: Evan is up now! Yes! I know you can't keep Da Game Down! He gets a running start. He gives Kell a jumping
knee to the head! Kell falls off Jay. Evan regains his balance.
GP: Now Evan is on top of Jay. He is punching his head in! Looks like Evan and Kell want Jay. Evan now off of Jay. He picks him up and gives him a suplex.
Nikki: I hope this match is more then just suplexes and clotheslines. This is a damn main event for Christ sake!
GP: Evan now goes at a down Kell! Kell is on the ground, holding his nose. Levine picks him up off the mat and face buster! Face buster on Phelen Kell. But wait! Jay is up now.
JT: LEVINE...BEHIND YOU!!!
Nikki: Jay turns Evan around, JAY GOES NUTS WITH RIGHTS AND LEFTS! Levine is knocked back! Jay throws Levine into the ropes, spine buster!
GP: NO! KICK OUT! Dammit, for a second there, I thought this thing was over.
JT: It's going to be a long night. Jay picks up Levine. Jay piledrives Levine. But now Kell is up, his nose is bleeding.
Nikki: Kell walks over to the body of Evan Levine. Him and Jay exchange glances...
JT: They start stomping on Evan. THAT'S NOT FAIR! DAMMIT, THEY HAVE TO FIGHT EACH OTHER!
Nikki: Oh well, stomp Levine a new asshole, as good ol' JR would say.
GP: Jay picks up Levine, he throws him at Kell, Kell gives him a DDT! Now Kell picks up Levine, he throws him at Jay, Jay gives him a FACE LIFT! Jay stole Dane Wilt's move!
JT:They are just picking him apart! NO!
Nikki: Now Jay picks up the fallen Evan Levine. This must be a one ups man ship of who can kick Levine's ass worse...
JT: Dammit, Jay now setting Levine up for a powerbomb, KELL JUST GAVE PSYCHO JAY A DROP KICK TO THE JAW! Kell just smiles. He wants Levine to himself!
GP: Levine is up off of the mat as he is looking right into the eyes of Kell. They are facing off finally! What a night! The great Kell taking on Levine right in the middle of the square circle with the foulmouthed headhumping Jay lying on the out side of the ring.
Nikki: Here we go Kell and Levine walk up to each other very slowly they lock hands and we got a test of strength here! Who is the bigger and badder man, Kell, or Levine, two of the all time greats here in the IWO
right in the middle of the ring. Another all-time great, Psycho Jay is outside trying to regain his senses.
JT: Levine with a head butt on Kell and he is driving him back into the corner of the ring. Kell is crouched down in the corner, as Levine drives his boots into the ribs of Kell, JAY GET IN THEIR AND SAVE THE GREAT KELL
NOW!!! If you CAN!
GP: Oh shut up JT. But Jay is right back in the ring and he looks like he is getting down to business here, Jay turns Levine around, and comes up with a scoop slam on Levine. Levine regains to his feet quickly, as Jay and Levine are face to face.
Nikki: What a move by Jay to get him self back into this match as Levine gets back up from the mat. Jay hits Levine with a spear driving him into the ring canvas, a defeaning sound that was. Kell is still in the corner getting himself back together while Jay is going nuts all over Levine! Jay is just taking Levine apart, just like he said he would! Jay is humping the daylights out of Levine!
CROWD: JAY!!!!! JAY!!!!!! JAY!!!!!! JAY!!!!!!
JT: What a move by Jay the nut buster is what I am going to name it! The Nutbuster with another victim! Got to
love the crazy ass Psycho guy!!! That's why he is our World Champion. Jay with the cover on Levine...
... KICK OUT!!!!!
GP: Oh so close! One second away from Jay retaining the title. Levine is lucky he got the kick out there... where the hell did Kell go? Where the hell is he? Did anyone see him?
Nikki: No, I have no idea where he is.
JT: I didn't even see the bastard leave!
GP: Oh my god! Kell has a ball bat, and he's heading this way! Kell is going to end this match with a DQ! He's going to ruin Utter Obliteration!
Nikki: Don't worry about it, Kell just hit the referee first from behind... like that won't be a fine! Thank god I didn't
want to see this match end the way I thought it was going to, but Kell is going to work now. Kell clubs Jay from behind and knocks him down to the mat! Levine is still laying out cold on the mat from Jays nut buster!
JT: Kell throws down the ball bat, and picks Levine's limp body off the mat. Kell sets him up, and nails a huge piledriver, driving Levine into the mat. Kell grabs Jay up as well, and nails him with a piledriver too. Piledrivers all around! Kell goes for a cover on Jay, but there's no referee! Wake up the referee!
GP: Levine is getting to his feet while Kell checks the referee. Levine dives onto the body of Jay, as he doesn't know Kell knocked out the referee. Kell finally gets the referee up, as the referee sees the cover by Levine, and dives over!
Nikki: And Kell saves the cover by kicking Levine off of Jay. Kell is yelling at the referee about a count, but Evan catches Kell by surprise and rolls him up!
JT: Nice smart move by Levine, try to sneak in the victory any chance you can. You've got to love Kell though, such resilency!
GP: Yeah, Kell is the legend, and this match moves on, as Kell, Levine, and Jay are all on their feet. It's like they're restarting! This is great!
Nikki: And what's going to happen! All three men are just circling one another, staring, trying to psych the other out. No one wants to really go for the first blow, as the referee is telling them to commence. Nothing is happening right now...
(JT stand up in his seat)
JT:Get the FUCK Wrestling so I can see some BLOOD before I make YOU BLEED!
(JT sits back down as Kell looks over at JT. He gives him a cold hard stare.)
GP: And Levine takes advantage, clotheslining Kell, and now Jay catches Levine with a double ax-handle to the back! Evan falls to his knees, but he still can headbutt Kell in the face. Kell falls over, busted open from the forehead.
Nikki: And Jay grabs Levine up, and hooks him, going for a Humpinator, but drops him in a normal visious POWERBOMB! Levine's neck may have snapped on the back, as Evan is screaming in pain. Evan is grabing his neck, as if he's been seriously hurt, and Jay is just laughing, putting the boots to Evan.
JT: Kell gets back to his feet, as he runs at Jay, knocking him down with a running clothesline. Kell quickly cover the hurting Levine...
JT: So close, but Evan just wants that world title. Jay is back to his feet, as he drops a knee into the rib cage of Kell. Kell was rolling off the cover, and Jay took advantage.
GP: Jay is trying to hump the face of the legend, the face of Phelen Kell, but Levine is making up to his feet. He tackles Jay to the mat, knocking Jay off of his Humping attempt.
Nikki: Evan picks Jay back up off the mat, and stands Jay up to his feet. Jay is obviously a little lightheaded after hitting the mat so hard so abruptly, as Levine tosses him off the ropes, and hits a Somaon Drop! Nice move by the Reel eel, as Levine covers Jay, we could have a new champion!
JT: Come ref! Just put this match to end! I don't care who wins anymore, they're hasn't been enough blood. Just get a fall! Kell, get your old ass up and pin someone!
GP: Kell is still very young, and this is a very huge matchup! Jay is a legend in his own right, as Kell is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Levine also has been dying for his world title reign, and what else could you want in this matchup, really JT.
JT: How about the Drunken man Al Coholic? Get his retired ass down here.
GP:Get back into reality JT, Al's never coming back, and for good reason too.
Nikki: Kell is back to his feet as Levine's just been knocked off the cover. Jay is still down, as Kell sneaks behind Levine. The Legend clamps on a sleeper, as Levine tries to fight it desperately. Levine is strugling for air right now.
JT: Come on Kell! Just end it! Put him out of his misery! The referee is checking to make sure it's a legal hold, and he's picking Levine's arm up... it falls once... and it falls again! One final time, but no! Jay hits Kell from behind, breaking the hold!
GP: Jay has Kell by the hair, and tosses him into the ropes, huge sidewalk slam! Kell is down, as Jay is going up top, he's calling for a huge move here! Could it be over? He leaps.. but Levine catches him with a huge dropkick! Jay catches his midsection as he falls to the mat. Evan dives on Jay!
3!!!!!NO!!!!!! Kell breaks it up! Evan to his feet, and they are just fist fighting now! Left!!!! RIGHT!!!!
LEFT!!!!! RIGHT!!!! LEFT BY KELL!!! RIGHT BY KELL HE'S GOT THIS!!
JT: NO!! Evan!! DUCK! DUCK!
JT: SHH! Kel; picks up Evan, and huge suplex! Kell comes to his feet, as he locks Evan in a huge sharp shooter! Kell's wrenching it in, but he won't give up!
Nikki:Jay is still down, as Evan is reaching for the ropes! Kell could have the belt here! Evan is screaming in pain, screaming in agony! The Ropes are barely out of his reach!
JT: Evan lounges and grabs the ropes . The ref now counts.
Ref: Break it UP!!
Nikki: Kell catches Evan with a kick, as Jay gets to his feet. Kell and Jay lock up with Evan, and hit a double suplex.
JT: Great move.
Nikki: Kell with the cover .
2 (Jay kicks Kell off)
Nikki:Close JT... Jay grabs Evan and tosses him off the ropes, as Evan hits a clothesline in despair.
JT: Evan needed that boost to at least try to comeback.
Nikki: Evan now starts to go to work on JAy.
JT: Jay is falling in the turnbuckle. EVAN LEVINE WITH A BRONCO BUSTER ON PSYCHO JAY!
Nikki: Kell with a clothesline to Evan, who just came out of the bronco buster!
JT: Kell with the cover.
2.. (Kick out)
Nikki: Jay gets up on the ropes , and jumps off and hits Kell with a missledropkick. Evan getting up .
JT: Evan Levine with a low blow to Jay . Evan with the cover.
Nikki: Jay runs over to Evan and locks up with him as Kell runs after Jay and hits jay with a right. Evan
falls to the mat , Evan sweeps Jay to the mat. Evan covers Jay. 1..2... Kick out
JT: This match is good.
Nikki: Kell gets up and locks up with Evan . Evan reverses a suplex into a ddt. Evan taunts the crowd for the 5th time.
Evan: I AM BETTER THAN GOD!!!!
JT: This guy is a pussy.
Nikki: Kell LOW BLOW TO EVAN!
JT: KELL ROLLS EVAN UP! 1...2.. JAY WITH THE SAVE!
Nikki: Jay comes over and grabs Kell by his hair and locks up with him. Jay with a suplex.
JT: There you go ... Look at Evan on the mat he has been there for the past 12 minutes.
Nikki: Jay locks up with Levine and tosses him off the ropes .REVERSAL!!! Levine with a swinging neck breaker. Kell gets up and covers Jay.
1..2..THRRRRE(Levine breaks it up)
JT: Kell and Levine are going at it. Levine locks up with Kell , Levine with a backbreaker. Levine runs over to Jay and locks him up in a figure four leg lock. Jay is screaming in pain. Levine wont go ... Jay reaching for the ropes. KELL KICKS LEVINE IN THE TEETH! Kell locks up Jay in the figure four. Jay is screaming!!
Nikki: Don't worry Evan will do the right thing. Evan runs over and pins Jay . 1...2...THR (Kick out) It looks like Jay has broken his leg. Jay is rolling around the ring like a chicken with his head cut off. Kell grabs Evan. Kell throws Evan off the ropes , FRANKENSTEINER TO EVAN! Kell rolls Evan on his stomach and slaps a camel clutch on Evan. Jay runs over and kicks Kell.
JT: LOOK WHO IS IN THE CROWD!!
Nikki: Nobody cares!
JT: The WU-TANG CLAN!!
Nikki: Like that is going to effect this match?
Nikki: Shut up. Jay picks up Evan by his hair and whips Evan to the turnbuckle. Jay runs into Evan's boot. Jay falls , Evan with the cover! 1..2.. WHATS THIS!!
JT: KELL WITH A MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP ROPE!
Nikki: They are all basically dead here in the middle of the ring. Levine put his arm on Jay 1..2.. Jay kicks out with every ounce of strenght he has.
JT: Kell is getting up .. Uh oh!
Nikki: Kell dives at Jay . But misses , Evan starts to stomp on Kell . Jay comes over and joins in. Evan pushes Jay out of the ring , EVAN COVERS 1..2... KICK OUT BY KELL!
JT: Hmmm... I want food!
Nikki: Thats nice!
JT: Right now I vote for Evan NO RECOUNTS NEEDED!
Nikki: Kell wobbles his way up to the rops and kicks Evan to his knees Kell runs off the ropes and does a missle dropkick to Evan. Jay locks up with Kell JAY WITH A JACKHAMMER! JAY WITH THE COVER 1....2.... Kick out.
JT: You see that soda fly from the crowd??
Nikki: Yes I did. It's wrestling what hell are you supposed to do? Anyways.. Jay swings Evan off the ropes EVAN WITH A DDT ON THE MAT!
JT: THIS IS PURE MAYHEM!!!
Nikki: Evan goes outside the ring . He is coming over here.
JT: Evan sit down my buddy.
Evan: Well I am doing some color disentary for right now . You see that you have Jay and Kell laying helplessly from the beating yours truly gave them. Now Nikki let me borrow this fan!
Nikki: Kell looks at Evan . Evan hits Kell with the fan! Evan with the cover .1...2... (Jay breaks it up)
JT: Kell is busted open .. LOOK AT THIS JAY IS HEADHUMPING KELL!!!
Nikki: hahahahah!!! Kell is knocked out. Evan tosses Jay off the ropes. OH MY LORD THEY BOTH COLLIDE IN MID AIR!! ALL THREE ARE KNOCKED OUT! REF IS COUNTING
GP: No one is moving! This is going to come do to the end!
JT: Kell is moving!!!
Ref: 7!!!!!!!!!!!!...............8!!!!!!!!!!! 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nikki: Kell covers Jay!!!! 1..................2............NO!!! Jay kicks out!!! HE KICKED OUT!!!
JT: YES!!! Kell slowly gets up as Jay gets up with him....Evan is still out of it as Kell and Jay are on there feet! Kell goes for a left on Jay....NO!!!!! Kick to the midsection!!!! Jay puts Kell between his legs! RUNNING POWER BOMB ON THE TURNBUCKLE!!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! Kell is out cold!!!
GP: Evan is back up as he runs at Jay...Jay turns around HE COUGHT EVAN!!! ROCK BOTTOM!!! ROCK BOTTOM!!! Jay is saying its all over!!!
Nikki: The Ref is ready to make a count as Jay picks up Evan.....Evan avoding Jays punches falls back into the corner! JAY HAS HIM TRAPED!!!
[All of a sudden a old woman comes running out from the back.....The fans start to boo as they know who it is]
GP: ITS DESIREE GOLDMAN!!!! THE FWF CHAIR WOMAN!!!
Nikki: What is she doing here?
GP: Desiree Goldman gets up on the apron as the ref turns to get in a word fight with her. Jay doesn't know what's happening as Jay walks in on Evan... Evan grabs Jay by the tights and pulls him into the corner making him hit
his head on the upper turn buckle! Jay falls to his knees as Evan walks into the center of the ring!]
[All of a sudden a man comes flying from the roof top like sting!]
Nikki: OH MY GOD!!! LOOK!!! LOOK!!! IT'S HIGH FLYER!!!!
JT: THE BACK UP HAS ARRIVED!!! EVAN! WHAT A CREATIVE MAN!!!
GP: Flyer lands behind Evan with a bat in his head as Jay comes to his feet. High Flyer taps Evan on the shoulder as Evan turns around...FLYER SWINGS AT EVAN!!!!
Nikki: NO!!!!!! HE HIT JAY!!!!!!! HE HIT JAY!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! JAY IS BLEEDING FROM THE HEAD!!!!!
JT: WHAT THE HELL IS FLYER DOING!!! HE WAS AIMING FOR EVAN!!!
[All of a sudden Flyer goes flying up as the camera pans up to see him getting pulled up]
GP: Desiree Goldman Still has the ref distracted as Evan picks Jay back up............'CONCEPTUAL PERFECTION'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONCEPTUAL PERFECTION'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONCEPTUAL PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!
JT: Desiree Goldman tells the ref to turn around!!!
Nikki: THE COUNT!!!!!
All at once:
DING DING DING!!!!!
GP: ITS ALL OVER!!!!!! ITS ALL OVER!!!! WE HAVE A NEW IWO WORLD CHAMP!!!!!!!
JT: YES!!!! YES!!!!!! GOD YES!!!!! ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!!!!
Meygon: Here is your winner............AND NEW!!!!!!!!! IWO WORLD CHAMPION!!! THE REAL HEEL!!!!!! EVAN LEVINE!!!!!!!!!
[The fans all start to boo like a bitch as Desiree Goldman walks around taking the IWO world title from the table...She gets into the ring with it and hands it to Evan as the fans are booing like a Fox!]
JT: THERE HE IS THE NEW IWO WORLD CHAMP!!!
[As Evan celabrates in the ring, Desiree Goldman points to someone as there is a big bang and all of a sudden all of the IWO banners get covered by FWF banners! Then FWF workers come to the ring with T-shirts that say "FWF" They hand them out as Evan look s at Desiree Goldman oddly!]
GP: Whats going on?
JT: THE FWF HAS COME TO SAVE THE IWO FROM HELL!!!
GP: THE FWF IS TAKING OVER THE IWO?
[Desiree Goldman grabs a t-shirt from one of the wokers and puts it out infront of Evan asking him to take it. The fans grow silent as the New IWO world champ looks at the T-shirt!]
JT: TAKE IT!!!! TAKE IT!!!!
[Evan smiles as he grabs the T-shirt and puts it on as the fans start to toss trash in the ring!]
Nikki: This is a dark day for the IWO! Or should I say FWF now?
GP: OH MY GOD!!! THE IWO HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE FWF!!!!!AND EVAN IS APART OF IT!!!
JT: THIS RULES!!!
GP: FANS WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!! JOIN US FOR HT....If we're still here! For JT and Nikki.... and I'm Greg Parker........GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!
[The scene fades out as the copyright comes up and Evan Levine is shown raising the belt high with Desiree Goldman right by his side!]