Sunday, August 27th
Live from Minneapolis, Minnesota
World Title Match
Mall Brawl 2000
The IWO World Title
Al Coholic -c- vs. Vietnam Veteran vs. Nicholas Kain vs. LiGiL vs. Fugite vs. Rob Kestler vs. Capital Punishment vs. Psycho Jay vs. Evan Levine vs. Phyre vs. Michael Dudley
North American Title Match
Stone's Last Chance to Prove Himself?
Michael Dudley -c- vs. Scott Stone vs. Syphon Fussion vs. Scott Linx
World Tag Team Championship Matchup
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(High Flyer and Tony Davis) vs. Total Chaos
IC Tag Title Match
Tag Team Battle Royal
Jack Knight & Andrew vs. Joe Johnson & Hardcore Hoefel vs. The Winds of Change vs. Sticks and Stones vs. The Spaz Event
Extreme Title Match
Extreme Title Shock Pole Match
The Title is hung on a pole. When you are hit with the title, you are eliminated.
To get the title however, you must climb up a pole, which randomly shocks the person trying to grab the title belt.
Justin Shack -c- vs. Fenix vs. Shawn Carter
United States Championship Match
Mike Extreme -c- vs. Wesley Sanders
Television Championship Match
Cyanide -c- vs. Mike Marchese w/Skip vs. Joe Johnson
IML2 World Heavyweight Championship Match
Lance McNally vs. Shawn Arrows
Who Wants a Push?
Rookies do battle in front of a PPV audience.
Multi Colored MoFo vs. Gerrard Heart
#1 Contender to the Television Championship
Four Corners Match
Nighthawk vs. Brian Geller vs. 'The Suicidal Psycho' Anthony Lordsley vs. Shitzo Tod
XL Extreme Ladies Championship
All the fem-fetales compete for the newest IWO championship, the XL championship Kate Young vs. Caren Dudley vs. Meygon vs. Vixen vs. Ariana vs. Carmen Jackson vs. Skip vs. Summer vs. Angel vs. Discord vs. Tara vs. Vincent vs. Al Coholic's Birthday Cow vs. any other women in the IWO
For any questions on Heatstroke 2000, please contact Co-VP Evan.
Card Subject to Change
[The scene opens with a hart beating...then a flash of the IWO banner....
There is another hart beating and it starts to get faster as the IWO banner
Flashes again and again. Then all of a sudden there is a strike of lighting and the
IWO banner shows up on fire. The IWO Symbol then explodes into the Heatstroke banner as "Duck and Cover" by 3 Doors Down starts to play! Then the scene cuts into the sold out The Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota!!! Fire works go off and the camera pans all over the building as the scene cuts to the announcers desk with GP, JT, and Johnny Shallow ready to call one hell of a night]
GP: FANS!!! WELCOME TO THE IWO!!! AND WELCOME TO HEATSTROKE 2000!!!! Tonight is the night that we have all been waiting for since Ice Age!!! MALL BRAWL!!!
JT: The only match were you can shop till you drop or are suplexed!
Shallow: Did JT just make a funny?
Shallow: There's a first time for everything!
GP: Fans tonight is going to be a night that no one will forget!!! Because tonight we have the NA title on the line in a 4-way match.... the tag belts are on the line when VIAGRA takes on Mike Extreme and Dane Matthews!
JT: Also tonight... hehehe yes, the woman of the IWO will battle to go for the new Woman's title here in the IWO! THANK YOU GOD!!!!
GP: You mean John!
JT: Same difference!
GP: Also tonight is the very last match we will ever see Evan Levine. He announced in a report to the IWO that he will be never wrestle in the ring ever again!
JT: Yes.... sad but true, all good things must come to an end!
Shallow: I might not agree with what Evan did in his time here in the IWO, but it's a damn shame to see him go without a world title!
GP: Im sure we will be seeing his name in the Hall of Fame sometime down the road!
Shallow: And last but not least tonight we will see the Extreme title on the line when Justin Shack defends his newly won title in a 3 way dance!! That will be one to remember!!!
GP: With that said and done let's get right to are first.........
["Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses starts to play as the fans get to the feet to see IWO President Jamie Kosoy makes his way to the ring!]
Shallow: YES!!! JAMIE!!
JT: Suck up!
Shallow: I might suck up but at least my lips aren't planted on Williams' ass!
GP: Well Jamie is coming out here.... he's not on the format!
JT: He's the boss! They don't need a format!
[Jamie grabs the mic out of the hands of Meygon, and walks into the center of the ring as the fans are going nuts!]
Jamie: WELCOME TO HEATSTROKE 2000!!!
[Fans go nuts!]
Jamie: Now in the past I know I have made some mistakes, but tonight I will get on the road to fixing them!!! Because tonight I don't leave the PPV in the hand of John...NO!! I leave it in the hand of one of the greatest IWO VP's, EVAN!!!!
Jamie: Tonight...everything will be fair and nothing can go wrong!!
[All of a sudden "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland starts to play! The fans boo as VP William and Commish Tom make there way out to the ring!]
JT: OH YES!!! Things are about to pick up!
Shallow: Well, I guess all shows have to have there down points!
[William and Tom get into the ring as William grabs the mic out of the hands of Jamie!]
William: Jamie...I personally think I'm going to be sick from the bullshit you are dishing out to these people! John was the best thing to happen to this federation and he was by far better then you or Evan!
[Fans cheer with a mix of boos in there!]
William: So tonight, Tom and I have decided to run things like John would have!!! NOT!! With that bullshit "I hate you so you will lose" crap you hand out every damn month!
[The Fans start to give major heat to William! As Jamie grabs another mic from a ring worker!]
Jamie: William.... you better remember who you work for! Because I sure as hell can fire your ass faster then a man on fire!
William: Jamie you can't fire me for the one reason that John hired me. With that Claus in my contract stating that you need John to approve it!
Jamie: Everything is workable!
William: Okay! Well, I tell you what. You work it out while I take over the PPV!
Jamie: I can't let you do that!
William: Odd.... I didn't think you had a choice!
[As William says that Tom and William attack Jamie...knocking him off his feet! As they beat down Jamie. Michael Dudley and Caren run down to the ring!!! Now all 4 are attacking Jamie]
GP: MY GOD!!! The President of this federation is being taken out!!
Shallow: YES!!! KILL JAMIE! KILL JAMIE!!!
JT: Someone help!!!
[Dudley gets on the top ropes as William and Tom hold down Jamie! Dudley yells out and nails BLACK THURSDAY!!!]
GP: MY GOD!!! MY GOD!! They just killed the boss!
Shallow: Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
William: Now with that taken care of! We move to take out the last pest!!! By tonight it will be MY PPV!!!
GP: We're in for a long night...
["Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland starts to play as William and gang make there way back to the back!]
GP: Lets just move on to are next match shall we!
JT: All right, we have men, women, farm animals and who knows what in this Extreme Ladies Championship match. Crazy? Yes. Stupid? Hell ya. But throw in that battle royal stipulation, and you got yourself one hell of a match!!
GP: Damn straight! We got all of your favorite IWO managers participating in this rumble from Discord to Vincent. You don't even need a vagina to participate, just a fucked up mind.
Shallow: Well I predict this match will be one of the weirdest matches the IWO has ever seen, or at least one of the weirdest on the card.
GP: Well, I'm getting word over the headset that the Birthday Cows diarhea has been cured and without further delay, its time to start the match!!
Ring Announcer: The following match... is a XL EXTREEMEE LLLLAADIESSSS CHHHAMMMPIONSHIP MATCH!!!
: The crowd lets lose with a huge pop:
Shallow: I haven't heard a pop that huge since Teddy Roxx invented the glowing penis.
Ring Announcer: In this match, pretty much ALL of the IWO's managers will be involved, even if they're NOT a female or even part of this species. Damn it, why couldn't I get a job at the WWF? Anyway, the following people are scheduled to be in this match:
Al Coholic's Birthday Cow
Ring Announcer: In order to be eliminated you must throw your opponent over
top rope, and both his/her/it's feet touch the ground. Now, without further
delay, MAY THE FESTIVITIES... BEGIN!!
: Crowd cheers rather loud.
*DING DING DING!*
: All of the sudden, "Kenkraft 4000" by Zombie Nation plays as Mike
Marchese's manager, Skip, runs into the ring to find nobody. But then,
"Purity" by Slipknot plays as Meygon runs out carrying an explosive dilldo,
runs to the ring and begins to beat Skip over the head with it repeatedly:
GP: Meygon isn't wasting any time here!! She's just beating the crap out of
Skip with that penis!!
JT: Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait... that makes no sense, since Skip's invisible... Oh well.
Shallow: Meygon is completely focused on becoming the first ever Women's
JT: Shut up Shallow, here comes the next sex dol - I mean, PARTICIPANT.
::"Be My Special B*tch" by Kermit the Frog plays as Tara walks to the
GP: Here comes Tara now!! Tara walks up to Meygon.. and claws her back with
her 3 inch nails! Ouch!
JT: Meygon has dropped the dilldo, and Skip grabs it off the ground!! Skip
charges Tara.. and nails her in the eye with that dilldo!! What a way to
poke your eyes out!!
Shallow: Meygon grabs Tara by the arm and whips her over top rope! Its all
over for Tara!
GP: Wait a minute here!! Skip has deninated the explosive dilldo!! Its gonna
blow!! She throws it at Meygon!!
JT: It didn't hit Meygon!! It was that close to hitting her, but it didn't!!
::"If Ya Smmmmeellll.. What the Cow is Cookin" plays over the PA system as
Al Coholic's Birthday Cow stampedes to the ring..::
GP: MY GAWD!! MY GAWD!! ITS THE COW!! THE COW IS HERE!! HE'S CLEANING
HOUSE!! The Cow slides under bottom rope.. kicks Skip to the midsection!!
COW BOTTOM!! COW BOTTOM!! COW BOTTOM TO SKIP!! The Cow takes off his
elbow-pad.. bounces off both ropes.. AND HITS SKIP WITH THE CATTLE ELBOW!!
THE MOST COWABUNGA MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!! Meygon and The Cow grab
Skip by the throat.. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM TO SKIP!! THAT DAMN MEYGON!! THAT DAMN
JT: What the hell Shallow? Did you just say the chat expression for "laugh
GP: Meygon and The Cow run to Skip.. and they double clothline her over top
rope!! Skip is out of this one.
Shallow: And now The Cow and Meygon turn on each other!! The Cow grabs
Meygon.. and whips her into a vicious Happy Hour!! I've never seen a farm
animal kick so much ass!! This could be it for Meygon -
::"Loco" by Coal Chamber plays as no one walks out::
GP: Wait! This is supposed to be Kate Young, but she's not here! Dane Matthews has her abducted!
::The Camera fades to the back, where Dane Matthews has been knocked out, as the ropes have been untied.::
GP: And here comes High Flyers manager, Kate Young!! What is she thinking! She grabs a chair from
under the ring and slides under bottom rope... she walks up behind The Cow... AND HITS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR! The Cow falls to the ground twitching..
JT: Kate Young is going after Meygon now! Meygon throws a punch, but Kate reverses it into a Arm Bar!
Shallow: Look at this! The Cow is getting up! The Cow sees Kate, and is aligning his ass with Kate?! What the fuck?!
JT: Oh shit, I know what he's gonna do!!
Shallow: The Cow is making a weird face?! What the hell is happening?!
The Cow: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
JT: Ohhh man!! The Cow just ripped ass!! Kate Young flies over top rope!!! Ohhh sh*t, someone get a match!!
Eliminated: Kate Young
GT: Its down to these two again.. Meygon and The Cow... The Cow grabs
Meygons head!! And starts brutally head humping Meygons head!! Just ramming
his udders into Meygons face!! The worst part is that I think Meygon enjoys
Shallow: Damn, I love kinky farm animal sex.
GP: The Cow FINALLY stops head humping Meygon.. and is eating her hair!! The
Cow is eating Meygons hair!! Meygon screams, but he keeps on chompin' away!!
And I don't think he's gonna sto -
::"The Seven Words You Can't Say On TV" by George Carlin plays as Vincent
runs to the ring getting a huge pop****::
JT: Oh shit, its Vincent!! The man that does more fighting with his penis
then his hands. A man that needs a forklift to masturbate.
GP: Vincent hops over top rope.. swings his penis!! And it hits The Cow
right across the jaw!! The Cow is down!!
Shallow: Vincent completely wraps The Cow up in his penis and is shaking him
in the air!! Man, do you suppose Vincents penis was the stunt double for the
snake in Anaconda?
JT: No, they got some cheap poser for that.
GP: The Cow is crying for mercy.. he wants to be set free damnit! OH MY
GAWD!! VINCENT JUST SLAMMED THE COW DOWN WITH HIS GENETALIA!! THE COW HAS
BEEN KNOCKED COMPLETELY OUT OF THIS ONE!!
Shallow: Meygon grabs The Cow away from the wrath of Vincents penis and
throws him over top rope.. its all over for the Birthday Cow.
Eliminated: Al Coholic's Birthday Cow
GP: Vincent looks pissed off at Meygon!! Vincents penis slings at Meygons
face, Meygon ducks, grabs a chair, BOOM! SHE JUST TOOK OUT VINCENTS PENIS
WITH THAT CHAIR!! OWWWWWWCH!!
Vincent: FUCKING FUCKING FUCKERS!! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!?!
JT: Vincents penis has just been taken out with a chair. Damn, Meygon will
do anything to win this won't she?
Shallow: Meygon grabs Vincents penis, OH MY GAWD!! OWCH!
GP: Meygon has Vincent locked in the PENIS TAMER (Kinda like the Lions
Tamer, only to the penis)!! DAMN VINCENT!! JUST QUIT!! THATS GOTTA HURT
VINCE!! ESPECIALLY SINCE 95% OF YOUR BODY IS MADE UP OF YOUR PENIS!!
JT: Alright, that looks painfull.
::"Stupify" by Disturbed plays as Carmen Jackson, manager of Syphon Fission,
walks to the ring..::
Shallow: And here comes Carmen Jackson!! Carmen runs to the ring and goes on
the attack of Meygon, but she's too busy with Vincent to even notice her
pithy attack. So she sits in the corner and rests until the next person
GP: Meanwhile, Vincent STILL refuses to give up!! He actually WANTS the
::"Sexual Healing" by Bob Saget plays as Ariana runs to the ring..::
GP: Ariana runs to Carmen Jackson!! Running clothline to the back of her
head!! Ariana leaps to second rope, and comes down with a big leg drop onto
Carmen! Ariana picks up Carmen... and throws her over top rope!! Its all
over for Carmen!!
Eliminated: Carmen Jackson
::"Eye of the Tiger" plays as Vixen walks to the ring, only to be stopped by
Scott Stone with a chair!::
GP: Holy crap! Scott stone just ambushed Vixen!! He's got a chair!! And he's
beating Vixen repeatedly with a chair!! Here comes Riot to get Stone to stop
this!! And Stone and Riot fight into the crowd!!
Shallow: I'm getting word that Vixen will be unable to participate in
tonights event due to those violent chair shots from Scott Stone.
JT: Oh well, I really don't like british hags anyway.
::"Like a Virgin" by Maddona plays as Caren Dudley walks to the ring..::
GP: And here comes Caren Dudley!! Caren Dudley slides under bottom rope and
stands up, only to get slapped by Ariana! Caren Dudley and Ariana begin to
fist fight.. Caren Dudley takes advantage!! Suplex!! Suplex to Ariana!!
Ariana has just been layed out!!
JT: Dudley grabs Ariana by the neck, and throws her from the ring!!
::"Capital Punishment Has No Weener" by Joe Mama plays as both Summer AND
Angel walk to the ring::
GP: Both Summer and Angel come in at the same time!! And now there both
double teaming on Caren Dudley!!
JT: Now on the other side of the ring, we see Vincents penis has managed to
free itself from the deadly submission by Meygon and is now approaching
Summer and Angel!!
Shallow: Vincent swings it hard... AND SUMMER, ANGEL AND CAREN DUDLY ARE
KNOCKED OVER TOP ROPE BY VINCENTS COCK!! AMAZING!!
Eliminated: Summer, Angel and Caren Dudley.
GP: Well, it looks like it's only Meygon and Vince left in this match. Who
will take home the Women's championship gol -
::Suddenly, "I am Your Boogie Man" plays over the PA system as Discord walks
to the ring with Evan Levine::
JT: Alright, Discord is sure to win now. I mean, damn, Evan Levine is
going to help her a LOT.
GP: Well, so far Discord just entered the ring and Evan Levine is just
standing outside clapping. I really don't think Evan Levine has any bad
::Suddenly, Evan Levine distracts Vincent by yelling up at him. Vincents
Cock immediately goes after Evan::
JT: HOLY CRAP!! EVANS IN DANGER OF A COCK BEATIN'!!
GP: BUT DISCORD SNEAKS UP BEHIND VINCE AND PUSHES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!
VINCENT IS OUTTA HERE!!
GP: Now its just Discord and Meygon. Meygon, who was here the whole time,
and Discord, who had just arrived. Wait a minute!! Evan Levine tosses a
frying pan to Discord in the ring! But Meygon catches it!! MEYGON CLOCKS
DISCORD OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!! DISCORD FALLS DOWN!! MEYGON SETS DISCORD UP
FOR A TITAN X-PRESS!! BUT EVAN THROWS A WATER BOTTLE AT THEM AND MEYGON AND
DISCORD FALL FROM THE TURNBUCKLE!! WHO WINS THIS THING?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
::A instant replay is seen, and we can clearly see that Discord hit the
Shallow: THATS IT RIGHT THERE!!! MEYGON HAS CLEARLY WON THIS THING!! LOOK AT
EVAN!! HE'S SHOCKED!!
*DING DING DING*
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match... ANND THE FIRST EVER WOMENS
CHAMPION : MEYYYYYGON!!!
GT: My god!! Meygon, Titans former manager, has became the first ever
Womens champion! And look at her! She doesn't give a damn folks! Well, we're
cutting to a promo of the World title match later tonight, but when we come
back, more IWO Heatstroke action is on the way!!
GP: Wow, what a match that was! It was so...
JT: Ha ha, it was great!
Shallow: You perverts... Get some lives!
JT: Hey we do have lives, it's just-
GP: Wait a second, look on the Tit-Ron! Gerrard Heart's arriving at the
(The scene cuts to the Tit-Ron, where we see Gerrard Heart walking into the
arena, carrying a large gym bag. He smiles and waves at a few people as he
passes by, and starts to go into the dressing room, when he sees Al
Coholic's cow sitting outside of Al's dressing room. Gerrard looks around
cautiously, licks his lips, and walks over to the cow. He grins like a
little devil as he leads the cow into his dressing room, where we hear a bed
\creaking and some low moaning. The scene fades back to JT, GP, and Nikki at
the announce table...)
GP: Good god he didn't...
Shallow: He just... no...
JT: I think he fucked that cow!
GP: Good lord, that is disgusting! I knew Gerrard was a little off, but...
not that off...
JT: Ha ha, now I know that Multi Colored MoFo's going to kick his ass!
Shallow: Why do you say that JT?
JT: Just by looking at that cow, I think that Gerrard just might be a LITTLE
tired tonight, if you get my drift!
(Greg and Shallow shudder as the next match starts...)
Number One Contendership To the Television Championship
Nighthawk vs. Brian Geller vs. 'The Suicidal Psycho' Anthony Lordsley vs. Shitzo Tod
GP: Our next match is for the number one contendership to the IWO
Television title. This may not seem like the biggest title in the game but
many of the current IWO super stars used this as a stepping stone to gain
both the attention of the fans and the IWO board which has lead to
headlining in matches like tonight's Mall Brawl main event.
JT: Schitzo Tod might be a little rusty considering his recent suspension
due to using foul language in the title to one of his interviews a few weeks
back. Brian Geller has been nearly completely silent. Nighthawk is a
strong contender. Any of these men could pull it off here tonight though
and it should be a great match as these hungry kids fight for their crack at
Shallow: While you two have been talking about stepping stones and such,
both Brian Geller and Schitzo Tod have charged the ring and started this
match flat out!
Ring Bell: DING DING DING
JT: Did the ring bell just talk?
GP: No, you must be hearing things. The ring bell just rang to signal the
beginning of the match.
Shallow: I don't know about you but I want to see the ring bell get a shot
at being TV champ! Come on, chant with me! RING-BELL, RING-BELL!
GP: Come on Shallow, let's give this match the attention it deserves. What
if the fans at home aren't actually ordering the Pay Per View and are
instead just watching the scrambled picture while listening to our
Shallow: Let me get this straight Greg, you're worried about pleasing the
fans who aren't even paying for the Pay Per View?
GP: I care about all of the IWO fans.
Shallow: You suck then.
JT: Schitzo Tod is making himself the predominate force thus far as just
him and Geller are going at it!
("Stinkfist" by Tool plays as Anthony Lordsley runs into the ring and helps
Tod in taking care of Geller.)
GP: Both Lordsley and Tod are putting the boots to Geller. This could be a
quick match but it's non-elimination meaning that this team work can only
last for so long.
("Criminal" by Eminem blasts as Nighthawk runs into the ring.)
JT: All of the participants are in the ring now! Nighthawk grabs Lordsley
from behind! Inverted DDT! Tod picks up Geller. It's gotten sectioned off
into two singles pairings now as Nighthawk is all over Lordsley and Schitzo
Tod has Geller in a bad position....Snap suplex by Tod!
Shallow: Nighthawk has Lordsley up once again. He wraps around to the back
and grabs Lordsley in a full nelson. Full Nelson slam...NO! Elbow to the
gut by Lordsley and a scissor kick to Nighthawk's head! Quick reversals
there for Lordsley.
GP: On the other side of the mat Geller has made a slight comeback. Wait!
Clothesline by Tod to Geller followed with a short guillotine leg drop. Tod
to the top! Beautiful elbow drop from the top rope! The Pin!
1.....2...broke up by Lordsley!
JT: Good move by Lordsley but Nighthawk capitalizes! Lordsley turned
around and was met with a super kick to the chest! Step over toehold
crossface by Nighthawk on Lordsley! Tod grabs Brian Geller and throws him
on top of Nighthawk! That's an interesting way to break up a hold!
GP: What's going on?
("Stayin' Alive" as performed by Ozzie Osbourne plays and Rob Kestler walks
down to the ring.)
Shallow: What is that idiot doing down here? Aren't Tod and Geller enough
for the idiot quota that we need to keep up?
GP: Speaking of Geller he gets into the ring and grabs Brian!
Kestler: You've been bad Brian. Father says that you haven't been
following "The Way." Your actions will not be tolerated by Father and as
such you must be taken away for a while.
JT: Brian Geller is hardly conscious but he's following Kestler out
anyways! What is up with this?
GP: I don't know but Geller with Kestler's strange advice has eliminated
himself from this match for the time being. That's just odd.
Shallow: One less odd ball to deal with out here.
GP: With the oddly technical edge that this match had in the beginning.
Brian Geller was taken out of this match in a very unorthodox manner! Now
Schitzo Tod and Nighthawk are teaming up and going after Lordsley! Schitzo
Tod is holding him....Nighthawk with a running start off of the ropes and
dropkick! Lordsley ducked out of the way! Tod took both boots solidly to
JT: Let's hope that the IWO dental team is here tonight!
Shallow: Dental team? You mean those Mexicans from the bar.
JT: Who else would I be talking about?
Shallow: I don't know, the IWO female staff. I heard that they know a few
things about oral procedure if you catch my drift.
GP: No, I don't catch your drift, what are you talking about.
Shallow: None of us expected you to know about the oral treatments of the
female staff! Do you know that the IWO has a female staff?
GP: Of course I do! What do you think this is? Fortune 500 company?
JT: Lordsley has the stunned Tod. I highly doubt that Tod knows where he
is right now after that brutal head shot! Lordsley sets him up for a
tombstone paledriver....GOOD GOD! Nighthawk with a viscous chair shot to
the back of Lordsley's skull! Tod somehow managed to land on his feet as
Lordsley falls to the ground. No! Chair shot to Tod! That was just
sickening! Pin attempt by Nighthawk on Schitzo Tod! 1.....2....kickout!
GP: That must have been pure instinct! Nighthawk covers Lordsley!
1.....2.....NO! Shoulder up by Lordsley! Nighthawk looks frustrated!
(Nighthawk picks up Lordsley and hits him with a powerbomb followed up with
a sling shot into the corner.)
JT: Good combination by Nighthawk. But what is he doing? He's playing to
the crowd! This could be a mistake! Tod is crawling over to the fallen
Lordsley! COVER!! 1....2....broken up by Nighthawk!
Shallow: Man, Nighthawk would have looked like a grade A ass if he would
have lost the match like that!
GP: We've seen worse in the IWO. Remember Joe Mielo?
Shallow: I'm trying not to but little people announcing Pay Per Views won't
let me forget!!!
Shallow: I hate you.
JT: Nighthawk and Schitzo Tod are exchanging blows back and forth! They're
near the ropes...clothesline by Tod! Both men over the top and to the
floor! That was quite the spill!
GP: Lordsley is up! What's he doing? Lordsley to the top...Plancha splash
onto both Nighthawk and Schitzo Tod! That took a lot out of everyone there!
Shallow: Why can't the wrestlers just punch and kick or something back and
forth. They get paid lots of money but what good is it if they're going to
whack each other in the head with objects and jump onto concrete?
JT: They love this sport and that's why they do it. And sometimes that
love leads to the extreme like this.
GP: That's true. They're all looking for a way to please the fans and to
improve their position in the company.
Shallow: If they want to get over with the fans they should use naked
women. As for improving their position in the company they could just adopt
a new position and learn how to use their knees.
GP: What do you mean? Some kind of submission hold?
Shallow: Only if you bite.
Shallow: Never mind.
JT: All three men are stumbling to their feet. This is turning into an
outright brawl! They're just laying fists back and forth between the three
(They all beat each other stupid for multiple minutes as the announcers just
Shallow: This reminds me, gonna be a while? Try a Snicker!"
(Shallow holds up a Snickers bar and takes a bite, chews, looks at the
camera, smiles, and gives the thumbs up to the camera.)
Shallow: Snickers, breakfast of champions!
Shallow: Just call the match.
GP: But they're just beating each other in the face repeatedly and
violently. You can only call that for so long before you just have to let
Shallow: Well, maybe if you would have gotten a commercial sponsor then we
wouldn't have to worry about you not having something to say!
(Shallow takes another big bite of his Snickers and smiles.)
Shallow: Snickers, it's what beer drinkers eat when they're not drinking
GP: Maybe you're just a sell out.
Shallow: Maybe I have more money than you so call the match.
JT: Good one Greg.
GP: Mild teamwork from Tod and Nighthawk again as they double clothesline
Lordsley! Wait! Quick Russian leg sweep by Tod on Nighthawk! Tod with the
cover on Lordsley! Wait! They're outside of the ring! They can't win out
Shallow: Tod's an idiot outside of the ring so why would his brain function
properly in this match?
JT: Good point. But that could have been the match none-the-less. Common
sense factored in or not.
GP: Tod picks up Lordsley and rolls him into the ring. Pin attempt
again....1....2...Nighthawk pulls out Tod!
(A voice is heard over the PA system, an unexpected turn of events indeed!)
Voice: I hope you're enjoying this match because I've grown a little tired
off all of this. If you haven't guessed yet this is Evan, Vice-President of
the IWO. Everyone loves John SO much and you're not giving me a fair shot
here. I can do things just as well as him if not better! But if you want
something John would do, here you go! You may remember this match from a
while ago, the stipulations are simple. There is an uninflated blow up cow
hidden in the arena. Find it, blow it up, and you win! HAHAHA Meet the
unholy power of John's creation! The INFLATABLE COW MATCH!!!
GP: The inflatable cow match? This hasn't happened in months! What's with
Evan and trying to compare himself to John now?
JT: I don't know. The only thing I know is that everything has just
changed! Nighthawk and Schitzo Tod make a run for the back! The search for
the inflatable cow is on! Lordsley manages to get to his feet! Off he
Shallow: This is exactly what an IWO PPV needed. An inflatable cow match
to decide who is number one contender for the TV title.
GP: The three men have split up! Tod is in the....women's bathroom?
Tod: Excuse me ladies. I'm looking for this thing. It can be blown up
like a balloon and if I use it right I'll be the happiest guy in this room.
Anyone want to help me?
(All of the women in the room slap him and leave screaming.)
Tod: What?! I just need to find the inflatable cow!
JT: Tod continues his search but he looks to be unsuccessful thus far.
Nighthawk is walking around the back locker room. Look! It's IWO World
Champion Al Coholic!
Nighthawk: Hey Al, have you seen an inflatable cow laying around here?
Al Coholic: I haven't seen anything like that, but you might want to ask
Kyle the Kow and see. After all, she's kinda like a cow but actually a Kow.
Nighthawk: Alrighty, have you seen the inflatable cow Kyle?
Kyle the Kow: MOOOOOOOOO
Al Coholic: Nope, she hasn't.
Shallow: Man, this is a low point for the IWO.
GP: It could turn out well. You never know.
JT: Looks like Lordsley has gotten coherent enough to search for the cow
also. It looks like he's interrogating the concessions stand people.
Lordsley: I'm looking for an inflatable cow.
Concessions stand person: Hot dog?
Lordsley: NO! Inflatable cow!
Concessions stand person: Hot dog?
Lordsley: NO! IN-FLATE-A-BULL-COW!
Concessions stand person: Corn-dog???
Lordsley: Fucking immigrants. Where in the hell are you from? Southeast
Bumblefuck?! How could the IWO let a match like this happen?
GP: I don't think Lordsley likes this match much.
Shallow: Well, he should like it, he has a better chance now considering
the ass kicking he was getting before.
JT: We're back to Nighthawk now though as he continues his search for the
cow! And just because Lordsley was behind before doesn't mean that he
wasn't going to make a comeback.
Nighthawk: Hey Capital Punishment. Do you know where I can find an
Cappy: Doesn't Schitzo Tod carry one with him everywhere he goes?
Nighthawk: I'm not sure.
Cappy: Well, I'm pretty sure he does.
Nighthawk: So he's walking around searching for something that he carries
Nighthawk: Whoever said that natural selection doesn't work?
GP: Could Tod really be carrying the cow around this whole time?
Shallow: You can't put anything beyond that guy.
JT: Hey, there's Tod now! He's in the audience asking people for the cow!
Tod "Hey, seat 14, you know where I can find an inflatable cow?
GP: Good lord! Tod was just tackled by Nighthawk! They're basically
rolling down the stairs brawling! All over an inflatable cow!
JT: Actually Greg, for a TV title shot.
GP: That's true.
Shallow: Did I say yet that the IWO has reached a new low?
GP: No matter what you have to say. This match is Pay Per View quality.
Just because the stipulations aren't traditional doesn't mean anything. But
now, both men have fought into the ring! What's this? Nighthawk is
reaching into Tod's tights!
Tod: Oh you!
JT: Nighthawk pulls out the inflatable cow! This could be all over soon!
GP: Nighthawk begins to blow into the cow like there's no tomorrow! Wait!
Bulldog by Tod! Tod has the cow now He's inflating away! Nighthawk comes
back again! Swinging neckbreaker! Nighthawk is sitting on Tod's shoulders!
Nighthawk is a big man! I don't know if Tod will be able to escape this!
Nighthawk is inflating the cow! It's getting there! It's half way
inflated! So close! Three-quarters inflated!!!
JT: Wait! Tod just pinched Nighthawk on the bum! Nighthawk's
anti-homosexuality reflex was enough to make him jump off and Tod escaped!
Tod has the cow! He's inflating! It's nine tenths full! No! Kick to the
stomach by Nighthawk! He's got Tod up and in position for "The Crime!" He
hits it! Tod is out! Tod is out! Nighthawk has the cow! Lordsley is
running from the back! He must have just seen what was going on out here!
Nighthawk gives one final puff....THE COW IS INFLATED! THE COW IS INFLATED!
Nighthawk wins and is the number one contender for the Television title!
Ring Bell: DING DING DING
(Lordsley pounds on the apron of the ring in frustration and walks out.
"Criminal" by Eminem plays as Nighthawk stands up in the ring.)
Meygon: Your winner and now the number one contender for the Television
Who Wants a Push?
Rookies do battle in front of a PPV audience.
Multi Colored MoFo vs. Gerrard Heart
GP: Well , it's time for the two rookies to square off .
JT: We got Gerrard Heart against The Multicolored Mofo .
Shallow: *Grunts* Boy I'd wish this match would get over sooner or later .
Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen this next match is for one fall...coming to the ring first weighting in at 245 lbs and standing 6'8".....he is THE Multi Colored MoFo!!!!!!
['Magna Cum Nada' by Bloodhound Gang starts to play as THE Multi Colored MoFo makes his way to the ring!]
Meygon: And his aponet! weighting in at 195 lbs and standing 5'8!! He is Gerrard Heart!!!
['Party Up' by DMX starts to play as Gerrard Heart!!! makes his way out to the ring}
Ding Ding Ding
GP: Mofo locks up with Heart . Heart breaks the lock up . Heart now going on his knees and goes for a sweep .
JT: Good move for Heart . He should keep on doing this if he wants to win.
Shallow: *grunts* Ahhh shit .
GP:Mofo now gets up and tosses Heart off the ropes . Heart comes off and misses the clothesline . Mofo kicks Heart to the groin and ddt's him into the canvas.
Shallow: *Farts* Well , HeatStroke 2000 baby .. WE ARE LIVE .
JT: Who cares . I get paid to sit here and say stupid shit.
Shallow: Oh well .
GP: Mofo with the cover .. 1...2.. Kick out .
JT: HELP .. BORING !
GP: Mofo now picks Heart up by the hair and locks up with him . Mofo with a suplex to the outside the ring.
JT: Ref is counting .
GP: Mofo rolls Heart into the ring . Heart no regains some composure and fights back with some lefts and rights . Heart runs off the ropes and clotheslines Mofo . Heart with the cover 1 .. kick out .
JT: Don't pin him yet .
Shallow : DONT PIN HIM YET !
JT: (Smacks Shallow) Didn't I already say that ??
Shallow: . . ........
GP: Mofo picks up Heart and gives him a back breaker. Heart rolls off , Mofo now picks him up and gives Heart a fishermans suplex . 1...2... THRRR (Kick out)
Shallow: Tight , very tight package he had him in there.
GP: Well , Heart is laid on the canvas .
JT: Hehehe .. You said LAID!
Shallow: *Grunts* Look , white stuff on my hand !
GP: Well we don't want to see cum on your hand .. We want some action . And Action we will get !
JT: Yep !
GP: Mofo now is dominating Heart with kicks to the midsection . Mofo sets him up for a pedigree . Heart reverses into a back body drop .
JT: Good move !
GP: Heart now goes to the turnbuckle and gets on top and jumps off with an elbow .
JT: HE MISSED .
GP: Heart rolls over and falls , Mofo puts his hand on him the cover . 1...2... Kick out
Shallow: I guess this is a good match .
GP: Now Mofo is on a roll . Mofo now running off the ropes and comes back and gives Heart a bulldog .
JT: Good move !
GP: Mofo now picks up Heart and hooks him up in a gut wrench suplex .
JT: DOWN TO THE CANVAS !!!
GP: Mofo with the cover 1...2... Kick out .
JT: Damn this match is boring .
GP: Heart now gets up and starts to fight his way back . Lefts and rights . Kicks and punches . Now Heart with a spear to Mofo . Heart now picks up Mofo and tries a swinging neckbreaker but messes it up . Mofo now starts to take Heart down peace by living peace.
Shallow: Well, this match is ok .
JT: WHAT'S THIS !!!???
Shallow: George Franklin coming down the aisle with a baseball bat with tacks in it .
JT: He's fucking crazy !
Shallow: Heart now is distracting the ref .
GP: He's smart !
JT: No he isnt .
GP: Franklin now comes in the ring and hits the Mofo with the bat . Mofo is bleeding . Now Heart swings over the ropes and does a splash now the cover . 1...2.. (kick out)
JT: Well , Mofo is bleeding really bad .
GP: Now Mofo gets up and rolls Heart out of the ring . Mofo puts Heart on the spanish announcers table . Mofo climbs the top rope ..
Shallow: YES YES YES YES
GP: Mofo with a 540º Splash on Gerrard Heart .
JT: A Heart is broken tonight !
Shallow :*Laughs* Good one !
GP: Mofo now rolls a broken Heart in the ring and pins him . 1....2... Kick out !
JT: FUCKING ASS !
Shallow: Get this match over !
GP: Now Mofo calls for his finisher and nails it .. The cover 1...2... KICK OUT !
JT: No way !
Shallow: Yes way !
GP: Now the MOFO is getting up and giving Heart another finisher . Gets him up....NO!!! NO Heart roles him up into a small package and the ref is down! 1.....2......................
............3!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE DID IT
Ding Ding Ding
Meygon: Here is your winner Gerrard Heart!!!
JT: DAMN IT
Shallow: What a upset!! The Rookie gets another win!!
("Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock hits the speakers.)
GP: Oh, great... not this guy.
(Out walks Sam Potright, decked out in his normal street clothes, tan board
shorts and a tan tee shirt with the "Third Eye Blind" logo on it. He walks to the ring and gets on the apron, where he climbs onto the second rope and raises his arms, while the crowd around him boos with malice in their voices. He shrugs, flips them off, and leap frogs into the ring. He snatches the microphone away from Meygon, and situates himself directly in the center of the ring, legs spread, standing upright.)
Sam Potright: Minneapolis, Minnesota... the home of the Target Center, and the home of the former Navy SEAL, wrestler, actor, and current governer Jesse Ventura.
(The crowd cheers.)
Potright: What a damn mockery of a town, and what a damn mockery of a state.
Potright: Yes, you see, I control you people... the flick of my hand, and everyone can hate me. And that's what brings me to this piece of shit arena tonight, because there's something about you, the fans, that I have to get
off my chest. It's quite frankly, very simple to understand, and it makes complete sense of all the crazy stuff that's happened in the past two weeks -- I don't bow down to your rules anymore. I won't play to you, I won't be your little puppet anymore. I'm a person... not a damned wooden thing on strings for you complete losers to play with outside of your miserable lives.
(More boos. What'd you expect? The crowd to cheer an insult on them?)
Potright: Now the tide has changed. You don't control me; I control you. It doesn't feel so good to be on the end of the strings, does it? But you enjoy controlling them... and there are people backstage who give a crap what you think, and do willingly let you be their masters. The number one person on that list? The Vietnam Veteran.
(The crowd cheers at the Vet's name.)
Potright: What I've noticed about this guy is that he has NEVER fought for himself his entire life. He's fought for his country, for his wife, and for the fans and those little orphan kids in his stinking orphanage. What a sad,
sad old man he has become. A former Marine, subjected to becoming fodder for YOU people? It's simply enough to make a man cry.
(He rubs his eyes to accenuate the crying line.)
Potright: But that's why he's become my first target. He's so much of a bitch to society that I have to show him the light, pull him away from your strings and let him stand on his own. My mission is to show the Vietnam Veteran that everything doesn't have to revolve around you stupid people... that he can simply be his own man, not the person YOU want him to be.
(He takes a deep breath.)
Potright: Now that I have to explain myself, don't I? There's been so much controversy backstage over the last few weeks about my destruction of the old Intercontinental Tag Team Titles that I have to comment on it. How do I start? Oh, here's a good way to â" THEY ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SUCKED. The titles mean nothing, they never meant nothing, and they'll never, EVER mean anything to anyone except for jobbers. That's the basis of the titles -- Created for jobbers that couldn't get over if they had enough tits and ass to cover the state of Texas walking behind them. That's not what I'm about, not a chance. Former President John handed us those titles, which made it worse. We defended those titles diligently... after a few weeks, I noticed the titles weren't worth a damn thing when we were going after the World tag team titles. Why have one, lower title when you were battling and were eventually a shoe-in to take the higher ones? That's my reasoning for destroying them... the reasoning for beating the shit out of Paul Hanson and leaving him hospitalized was because he was nothing but a dead weight punk who was simply holding me back from what I was and what I could be. Just like you people, he thought I had to play to his rules. The prick needed to go down at some point. I was the one to pick up his ass and hand it to him.
But I never actually thought of that beforehand, no. Not at all... I had never noticed the fact that everything was against me until the moment that someone pointed it out to me. I figure it's time the world got to learn who
that person is... hit the music.
("Hell On High Heels" by Motley Crue blares over the speakers as none other than Beth Potright, Sam's old wife, walks out! Slim as could be, with her blonde hair and green eyes, Beth looks the same since the last time anyone
saw her. She looks around at the crowd and walks to the ring. Potright holds open the ropes, allowing her to enter easily. She and Sam embrace and kiss, before turning to the crowd and raising their hands.)
Potright: This is the person... Beth, my lovely wife. The woman every man thinks about when they jack off in this town.
(Boos... although there are some guys actually chanting "It's true, it's true".)
Potright: She's the brains, I'm the brawn... I'm the twisted steel... she's the sex appeal. The future of the IWO is here...... and there's nothing that can stop my destiny. Not even a veteran of the war America lost.
("Bawitdaba" hits again as the two leave the ring...)
GP: ummm ok lets get to are next match
IML2 World Championship Match
Lance McNally vs. Shawn Arrows
JT:NOW WHY IS THIS ON THE CARD!
Shallow: He's got a point there Greg, the IML2's defunct. Why the hell are these two fighting for a
GP:I have no clue, but there were massive rumors about this match up going on around the backstage area. I
couldn't even make out some of them, but this match could be a huge stepping stone for either athlete.
Shallow: Of course it is! They're wrestling in their Pay per view debut! Whoever wins this could have a
long lengthy career ahead of them!
JT: Or they could sell their bodies on the street corner for crack, leaving the IWO, and we'd all be happier...
GP: Now guys! There is so much history here from the IML2, I think we put together a small highlight reel?
**Tape Footage Begins to Play**
Onslaught seems relieved as well. Lance begins arguing
with Onslaught about the kickout. Lance pushes
Onslaught, who merely laughs at him. Arrows is up! He
turns Lance around throws him into the turnbuckle as
Lance stumbles out Arrows nails an Aerial Running
Tornado DDT! Arrows picks Lance up Irish whips him
into the ropes, flap jack and the Arrows Shot DDT!
Arrows for the cover!
TB: WAIT! WHAT THE HELL! Carlos Lopez just pulled
Onslaught out of the ring!!!
DJ: What the hell! We had a new champion!
Lorin: Look! Carlos Lopez and Onslaught are screaming
at one another, why did Lopez do this!
TB: LOPEZ HIT ONSLAUGHT WITH INSOMINIA!!! HE NAILED IT!
DJ:I don't get any of this, I get NOTHING!
TB: Wait! In the ring! JUST ROCKED BY McNALLY!
Lorin: McNally has the belt back!
DJ: Not yet! Lopez grabs Onslaughts referee shirt...
and he puts it on!
TB: This is crazy, pure craziness!
Lorin: Look! He slides in... McNally as the pin, but
Lopez drops an elbow!
TB: McNally doesn't like that! McNally is in the face
of Lopez, Arrows is regaining his senses... ROLL UP
Chris Astro: Your Winner and NEW Internet Wrestling
Organization Minor League 2 Champion, "Simply Perfect"
TB: Dear god! Lopez just screwed over Lance McNally!
Onslaught slides in... and he's confronting Lopez and
Arrows! Arrows and Lopez are shoving one another...
Onslaught can't believe it! LOPEZ JUST CLOTHESLINED
ONSLAUGHT OUT OF HIS BOOTS! DEAR GOD!
DJ: This is nuts! Pure craziness! Arrows picks up
Onslaught, ARROW SHOT DDT!
TB: THE NEW WORLD CHAMP SHAWN ARROWS JUST NAILED
ONSLAUGHT WITH THE ARROW SHOT DDT! DEAR GOD!
(Fade out and head into another tape play from the
IML2's PPV Revolution)
TB: LANCE MCNALLY IS BEING EATEN BY THESE LEGLESS
PEOPLE! THIS IS INSANE! WAIT A SECOND FROM THE BACK!
IT'S CHRIS STEELE! HE ROLLS INTO THE RING! HE HAS
HIS NEW HARDCORE TITLE BELT AND WHACKS ARROWS WITH IT!
ARROWS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM EARLIER REMEMBER?!?
Lorin: THE LOCKER ROOMS ARE EMPTYING! EVERYBODY FROM
THE BACK ARE COMING OUT AND THEY ARE FIGHTING THE
TORSOS! THIS IS TOTAL INSANITY!
TB: LOOK! IT'S VICE PRESIDENT ERIC HE'S LAUGHING IT
UP ON THE RING!
Vice President Eric: God a few years in Asia and you
can do all of this. It's pretty surprising really.
TB: VICE PRESIDENT ERIC STARTED ALL OF THIS! ARROWS
IS TRYING TO REGAIN CONCISENESS! EVERYBODY IS
FIGHTING EVERYBODY ELSE! SHAWN ARROWS LIES DOWN ON A
FALLEN MCNALLY! HE IS EXHAUSTED FROM THE FIGHT
AGAINST THE TORSOS! BJ COUNTS! ONE! TWO! THREE!
DJ: SHAWN ARROWS IS STILL CHAMPION!
**End tape Footage**
GP: Well, in those tapes, it certainly seemed like
Arrows has dominated this rivarly, but now, these two
go main stream, with McNally on a winning streak and
Arrows on a losing streak. Take it away Meygon.
Meygon: This next matchup is scheduled for one fall,
and is for the IML2 World Heavyweight Championship.
Introducing first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
considered the greatest IML2 World Champion of all
time, holding the belt on three seperate occassions.
He is the master of "Just Rocked," LANCE McNALLY!
("Take On Me" by the Reel Big Fish plays over the pa
system as out from the back walks Lance McNally.)
JT: Now, since this is for the IML2 championship... why
doesn't McNally have the belt!
GP: The executive board took it from him earlier today.
They said they have something to do with it.
Meygon: And his opponent, hailing from Greensburo,
North Carolina, a former IML2 World Heavyweight
champion in his own right. He was considered one of
the top preformers in IML2 history as well, being a
man who was the only IML2 Gimmick Champion of all
time. He is Shawn Arrows!
("Iron Man" by Black Sabbath plays over the pa system
as Shawn Arrows walks out from the back. He gets into
the ring, and immediatly looks over to McNally with a
GP: This is going to be huge, two of the top athletes
to come out of the IML2 clash!
("Hail to the Chief" starts up over the pa system as
Commish Ford walks out from the back. He has something
in a snakebag.)
Commish Tom: Now, we all know you guys want to tear
each other limb from limb, and hell, the IML2 prides
itself at seeing you two on IWO pay per view, but, you
see, when I look back at the past, that's exactly what
the past is.
(Ford begins to unwrap the top of the snake bag.)
Commish Ford :So, here's to the winner...
(Ford pulls out a beautiful championship belt out from
GP: That's not the IML2 Championship!
Shallow: What is this guy thinking!
(The camera zooms in to see the original design of the
IML2 World Title, except is has the words Atlantic
Championship above it.)
Commish Ford :So, McNally, Arrows, what was left of the
IML2 World Championship, is now, the IWO Atlantic
JT:FORD JUST MADE A NEW CHAMPIONSHIP!
Commish Ford :Now go and kill each other for it...
(Commish Ford makes his way out of the ring, as the
bell is sounded.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
JT:I like this Ford character...
GP: Well, Ford is coming over to do some commentary,
hello Commish Ford!
Ford: Hey Greg, nice suit... K-Mart have a sale? JT!
How's it going! I've been a fan of your work for a
very long time.
JT: Thanks to hear that Ford. You know I really liked
Ford: Hey Shallow, those RA Shows were good, but you
never meantioned the IML2! What gives, we were the
best thing out there!
GP: McNally and Arrows are locking up in the center of
the ring, McNally gains the advantage with a side
headlock, as Arrows works McNally in the midsection.
Shallow: Hey man, I don't have time for these little
Ford: COME ON ARROWS!
GP: Arrows sends McNally off the ropes, McNally, back
off ducks under a clothesline, off once more as
McNally nails Arrows with a flying forearm!
Ford: McNally was very well liked in the IML2, he seems
to have engulfed his following here in the IWO...
Arrows was very disliked in the IML2, he hasn't
changed one bit.
GP: McNally grabs Arrows and catches him with a huge
roundhouse kick, sending Arrows into the corner.
McNally charges, Arrows dropping down out of the
corner, McNally rams sternum first into the
turnbuckle. Arrows grabs McNally onto his shoulders.
Ford: WOW! Arrows just dropped McNally with a somoan
drop turned dropping neckbreaker! Arrows rolls over
and grabs a cover, 1-2-NO!
Shallow: McNally got a shoulder up, just barely. Arrows
is up, and he's just kicking away at McNally.
JT: He's not letting McNally get up! I love this guy!
Ford: Arrows is grabbing McNally up off the canvas, and
hooks him in a side headlock. He's wrenching it in,
and DROPS DOWN IN A DROP DOWN DDT FASHION! SIMPLY
GP: And Arrows is holding it in, holding it in like a
submission... no, this is not Armaggedon... both
Arrows and McNally are on their stomachs, with Arrows
having a side headlock locked in.
Ford: Arrows is wrenching it in, making McNally think
about it... but Arrows is picking himself off the mat.
McNally goes for a knee to the gut, but Arrows blocks
Shallow: Arrows picked up McNally on one foot, and has
him high in the air... HUGE brainbuster into the
center of the ring!
JT: McNally's head bounced off the canvas!
Ford: Arrows is telling him how it is! "You have
nothing on me McNally! NOTHING!"
GP: Oh brother...
Shallow :Arrows is screaming, yelling at McNally to get
up. Arrows is just hammering away at McNally with
right hands. Arrows grabs McNally, but McNally rams
his shoulder into Arrows Gut. McNally gets to his
feet, and starts hammering away at Arrows.
GP: Lance McNally is really getting the crowd behind
Ford: McNally firing rights sending Arrows into the
corner. McNally with a HUGE chop sends Arrows flying.
Another one by McNally sends Arrows blood red chest
flying in the air!
GP: McNally's on fire, Arrows tries to runover McNally
but Lance sends him back down with a huge back body
drop. McNally quickly sends Shawn out of the ring with
a huge standing dropkick!
JT: Now what the hell is McNally doing! He should be
attacking Arrows, not showboating!
Shallow: McNally does seem to have this crowd fired up,
as Arrows is regaining his composure on the outside...
Ford: McNally races off the ropes, SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH
THE ROPES ONTO A PRONE SHAWN ARROWS! McNally just
risked life and limb and nailed Shawn Arrows with a
GP: McNally grabs Arrows and throws him back into the
ring. McNally slides in himself, as Arrows is slowly
trying to regain his stature...
Ford: McNally jumps over and grabs Arrows, rolling over
into a pin, 1-2-NO! Arrows gets a shoulder up. McNally
quickly gets to his feet as Arrows slowly does,
holding his held. McNally charges, but Arrows kicks
out his feet from under him.
Shallow: Arrows goes for a cover, but McNally sits up
before Arrows can reach him, landing Arrows face first
on the mat. McNally turns his body and grabs Arrows,
locking on a bow type move on his arms...
GP: Much like the Rings of Saturn, but McNally is
standing. We see Arrows' face, showing that pain, that
JT: Greg, I think the people can see his face. You
aren't on radio or something like that. This isn't a
transcript of some event!
(Shallow and Parker give JT a look, as Ford continues
to rant and rave.)
Ford: LOOK AT THAT RINGS OF SATURN! DEAR GOD IS THAT
CRAZY! McNally has Arrows in a deathlock, there's NO
way of getting out of that! That's the truth! Arrows
is reaching for the ropes with his feet, but McNally
can't do anything but pray they are out of reach!
GP: Arrows grabs the bottom rope with his foot! Dear
god, Arrows barely saved himself!
Ford: Now Arrows is gettin to his feet, rubbing down
both shoulder areas. McNally waits for him to get up,
and immediatly locks him in a full nelson! Arrows is
violently trying to get out of the hold, but McNally
sinches it in even further.
Shallow: He doesn't have the fingers lock! He doesn't,
as Arrows breaks out of it, underhooking one arm and
nailing McNally with a huge single arm ddt!
Ford: Arrows whips the sweat off his face, COME ON
ARROWS! LAY IT IN ON McNALLY!
JT: What is up with you? You are chearing for both men?
Ford: They both came from my establishment, and when
people like that come from my establishment, they bust
their ass, and they become IWO stars. I want them both
to become successful, because if they become
successful, I become successful.
JT: Ah, I see. I like that reasoning...
GP: Arrows grabs McNally, but McNally tries to nail
Arrows in the midsection with a shoulder block.
McNally charges towards Arrows but Arrows sidesteps,
sending McNally off the ropes. Back off, Arrows grabs
him for a back body drop...
Ford: MID FLIGHT! ARROWS CAUGHT HIM! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK
POWERBOMB! Did you see Arrows' strength!
JT:WOW! Arrows caught McNally in mid air out of a back
Shallow: Arrows is climbing up to the second rope, and
flies, dropping a carefully placed elbow onto Lance
GP: Arrows drops for a cover, 1-2-NO! McNally pushes
him off. McNally gets up quickly as Arrows swips his
legs out from under him. Arrows drops down onto
McNally again, 1-No! McNally gets a shoulder up.
JT: McNally gets up again and charges. Arrows goes for
a swipe, but McNally leaps of his hand, and grabs
Arrows head, nailing him with a huge bulldog! 1-NO!
Arrows' foot was on the ropes!
GP: McNally grabs Arrows, and sends him off... DOUBLE
CLOTHESLINE! Both men though of the same thing and
nailed each other down to the mat!
(All of a sudden, three people walk out from the
Ford: What the hell!
Ford: What are they doing here!
(The picture fades in closer, seeing former IML2
announcers Tom Baines , Duce Johnson, and Lorin
standing in front of the IWO Pay Per view Announce
TB: Greg, I personally idolized you, but why do we get
the complete shaft when the IML2 Closes! We were
talented, but we don't even get considered to be hired
for the IWO... no! The IWO is too GOOD for us!
DJ: Where the hell's Nikki! I just came out here to see
some T & A!
GP: You know, there is a match going on right about
GP: Ow! You can't smack me you two bit tramp!
Lorin: What did you say?!? If anyone's the tramp, it's
that chick Nikki! Now she's just a little whore!
JT: What did you say?
Lorin: She's a whore, and that's the truth!
JT: I'll kill you you stupid little IML2 reject!
(JT Dives across the announce table, as the referee is
trying to get the announcers out of here.)
GP: Wait! In the ring... ENFIRNO!?!? SUPERKICK KNOCKS
Ford: That's payback from the IML2! Straight from the
revenge of the IML2!
GP: How the hell did these IML2ers get into the
Ford: J.J. Nuclear! Nuclear nails his Time Bomb onto
Enfirno! Wait! It's the Portugese Jiggalo! He comes
flying out and starts hammering away at J.J. Nuclear!
This is just chaotic!
JT: Wait... what the hell... isn't that Guff Daddy from
Ford: That's Guff Daddy, originally from the IML2! He
hits the ring and starts pounding away at the Jiggalo
with rights and lefts. Arrows gets up, as Guff sends
him back down!
GP: Chris Steele?!?! That's the old hardcore champ! He
hits the ring with a baseball bat, and clocks Guff
Daddy down in the ring! The ring is filled with IML2
Ford: Look! It's Mystic Tragedy! He's going after
McNally after a long feud they had!
(The lights go out.)
Ford: What the hell...
(The lights come back on, as the Devastators are in
GP: The newly acquired Devastators! TOTAL DEVASTATION
ONTO GUFF DADDY!
GP: They get back up... TOTAL DEVASATION(3D with a DDT)
ONTO CHRIS STEELE! AND NOW MYSTIC TRAGEDY! The
Devastators are clearing the ring, as this match will
Shallow: Now, these announcers are out of here, what
the hell is going on! Ford! You let these lowlifes in
here tonight, didn't you! You told them they could be
on an IWO pay per view and attack these two men, am I
Ford: Half right.
Shallow: You stupid son of a...
(Shallow has to be restrained by Parker.)
GP: Shallow! It's not worth it! It's not worth it!
You'll lose your job!
JT: Yeah Shallow, it won't be the same without you
(Shallow eventually calms down, as we see in the ring
McNally places the arm onto Arrows' chest.)
GP:WAIT! A COVER! 1-2-NO! Arrows got a shoulder up!
Dear god! I can't believe it! After that entire
wreckage, Arrows is still alive, and so is McNally!
JT: McNally is slowly bringing Arrows up to his feet.
McNally has Arrows up on his shoulders!
Ford: He's going for Just Rocked! Just Rocked! No!
Arrows slides down the back of McNally. McNally turns
around, Arrows throws him up into the air! He's going
for the Arrow Shot DDT! NO! McNally twists his body,
causing him to land back first! Arrows can't nail the
Arrow Shot DDT like that!
GP: Arrows is pissed! He thought he had McNally beat
with the Arrow Shot DDT! That's taken McNally down a
few times already this year alone!
Ford: In the IML2, it's taken it's toll on both men.
Just Rocked and Arrow Shot DDT. They both know how to
counter it, it's a question of can they, physically,
at that time. Both of them know that!
GP: Arrows grabs McNally up off the mat, and nails him
with a couple right hands, sending McNally into the
corner, back first. Arrows starts to choke McNally in
the corner, as the referee makes him break at four.
JT: Arrows grabs McNally and ties him in the tree of
woe! McNally is hung upside down in the corner, as
Arrows goes to the opposite corner, gaining some
GP: Arrows charges in, and catches McNally with a huge
boot to the groin! Dear god!
Ford: McNally is in immense pain, holding his male
gentalia as Arrows just continues the onslaught onto
McNally's midsection. Boots to the stomach as McNally
eventually falls out of the tree of woe.
GP: Arrows is grabbing McNally, and nails him in the
midsection with a huge knee. Arrows grabs McNally, and
nails him with a floatover double underhook suplex!
Arrows bounces off the ropes and drops a huge leg
drop. Arrows with a cover onto McNally, 1-2-NO!
McNally gets a shoulder up.
Ford: It's only going to be that one huge move. Once
someone nails the other person with their move, it's
over. I know that for a fact.
JT: Arrows grabs McNally, and sends him to the ropes...
he's going for that arrow Shot ddt again! I know it!
McNally ducks behind Arrows, and grabs Arrows up onto
his shoulders! NO!
Ford: JUST ROCKED! MCNALLY NAILED IT! HE NAILED ARROWS
WITH JUST ROCKED! THE POWERBOMB TURNED NECKBREAKER!
ARROWS IS OUT! ARROWS IS OUT! COVER!.. ONE!....
TWO!!!..... THREE!!!!! ARROWS IS PINNED! ARROWS IS
PINNED! McNALLY HAS DEFEATED SHAWN ARROWS!
GP: Lance McNally is now the IWO Atlantic Champion!
He's the first man to ever hold that championship! I
can't believe it folks! I sincerly can't believe it!
Shallow: I can't believe they're both still employed...
Ford: McNally holds the title high in the air, as he
slides out of the ring. The fans are on their feet
clapping for their preformance!
GP: Fans! Let's take a look at the September Pay Per
view event... Autumn In Hell!
(The camera fades into a ppv promo for Autumn in Hell,
as we fade back into the arena.)
GP: Well fans time for are next match .
(Suddenly "From This Day" by Machine Head plays as Agent X drives a
bulldozer from the entrance way. The fans seem interested but no reaction
cheering wise is present.)
Shallow - What the hell is he doing here?
JT - Well, he's been saying stuff backstage about showing up.
GP - This isn't right, he's not on the card. VP Evan probably isn't happy
(Agent X drives the bulldozer all the way to the ring and climbs out. He
climbs into the ring and asks for a mic.)
Agent X - Now I don't give a fuck if this is on the card or not!!! This match
is happening and it's time to finish this!!! This match may not have random
C4 explosions and shit but I want to kick ass, right now!! So Agent
X2,wherever you are ,come out and let's finish this. You see if I win you
can't show your face around IWO ever again. If I kill you the government will
never be anywhere near an IWO event. If you win I'll leave IWO and if you
kill me.....well, that one speaks for itself. So Agent X2,you better appear on
that ramp right now!!
(It's not Agent X2 that comes out, it's VP Evan. He has a mic...)
VP Evan - Agent X, how dare you walk into Heatstroke and make a match .I make
the matches around here, not you. You've been talking in the back how you
could do a better job then me but that's correct. Why? Because you job in
every single match you walk into!! Why do you want to destroy such a sold pay
Agent X - It's not about business anymore, it's not about getting fans
anymore. It's personal!!
VP Evan - Come on, just get out of the ring, take your bulldozer and leave the
Agent X - I don't think so Evan.
VP Evan - If you don't get out of that ring I'll fire your ass!
Agent X - Fine, fire me, will that get me out of the ring?
VP Evan - Maybe security will change your mind.
(IWO security appears on the ramp way by VP Evan .Evan has a smirk on his
VP Evan - Having second thoughts Agent X??
Agent X - Let me think about it for a moment.......................no!
VP Evan - This isn't acceptable!! Look what it's doing for you image, don't
you see? Right now your a whiner and I always heard you don't want to be
looked at as a whiner.
Agent X - I told you already, it's personal. I don't care about image
anymore, I want to kill Agent X2.
VP Evan - I see it in a different way.
(He turns to security.)
VP Evan - Drag him out of the ring.
(Security walks forward and Agent X drops the mic. He's ready to fight. First
security guard comes in but gets a spin kick to the back off the head. He
rolls out of the ring, a second comes, he gets LOCKDOWN(running sitdown
piledriver).Two come in at once, one gets punched out of the ring and the
other gets X-Bombed(powerbomb to rock bottom.)
VP Evan - What is this, a Jackie Chan movie?? Attack all at once you idiots!
(All security gets in the ring but is beat of by Agent X. The security guards
cowardly walk away.)
VP Evan - Where do you guys think your going?
(They all tell him "forget it" with hand motions.)
VP Evan - Your walking away?? Your fired!! All of you are fired!!!
Agent X - You see Evan, I'm not moving. So just give me the match.
VP Evan - I will not let you make me look like a fool. This is embarrassing
already!! There are all these people who paid to see Heatstroke, they didn't
pay for a jobber in a ring throwing a tantrum.
Agent X - I don't know Evan, your kind of having a tantrum yourself up there.
VP Evan - We at IWO are here to set an example for young wrestlers who watch
IWO. Why must you ruin everything that was planned?
Agent X - Hey Evan ,I thought this was a solid pay per view, where are the
matches?? Even if this match sucks, which it won't, wouldn't your solid pay per
VP Evan - Do I have to come down there myself and beat you out of the ring.
Agent X - You? Even the common fan could kick you ass!!
(Points to people.)
Agent X - Like that guy!! Or even his kids!!
VP Evan - You better shape up in this company, you have to respect your
superiors. You have to pay respect to those that brought you in this company
Agent X. You'll be a nothing after this pay per view, I swear. You will not be
mentioned and even less people will give a damn about you.
Agent X - Evan, your right. I will be a nobody after this pay per view because
you know what??
VP Evan - What??
Agent X - This is my last match ever in wrestling history!!!
(Fans show surprise.)
VP Evan - You know what, that's good. IWO needs to brush of some of the talent
less wrestlers in this company.
Agent X - Evan, fuck you.
VP Evan - Fuck me? Say goodbye to that last pay check but I'll tell you
what. I'll grant you this match further making your career garbage. I'm sure
the fans would love to see your ass get kicked by Agent X2 again. The truth
is, I want to see you get hurt tonight Agent X, badly. So I hope Agent X2 kills
your punk ass!!
Agent X - Up your Evan, where is he?? Get him out here so we can get this
VP Evan - Gladly.....
(Agent X2 sneaks into the ring from the crowd with a taser and is standing
right behind Agent X.)
Agent X - I'm done playing games Evan, make him come out here so I can kick
VP Evan - Hey, Agent X, think fast, he's behind you.
(Agent X turns to get a taser to the head. Evan laughs as Agent X2 repeatedly
shocks Agent X.)
VP Evan - I'm gonna go enjoy this in the back, chow!
(VP Evan walks away as Agent X2 takes hand cuff out of his pocket.)
JT - Hand cuffs?
GP - Oooooooh, kinky.
Shallow - This reminds me of....never mind.
JT - Agent X2 puts down the taser and is hand cuffing the fallen Agent
X, this may be the day Agent X dies!!!
GP - Yes!!!!!!
Shallow - Let's mark this day on our calendars, how about it?
JT - Agent X is knocked out it seems, hand cuffed and Agent X2 has the taser
GP - This reminds me of when I.....never%20mind.
Shallow - Yeah, that's like the time I......never%20mind.
JT - Shut up.
GP - Agent X2 helping Agent X up only to shock him again!! How is Agent X
suppose to win this?
Shallow - Agent X2 going to the outside to pull out a table and that can't
be good for the defenseless Agent X.
JT - What the hell kind of farewell match is this anyway?? Agent X2 has it
made for him. Remember, these men want to kill each other...literally.
GP - Agent X2 setting up the table and picks up Agent X but Agent X lays in
a few kicks. Superkick by Agent X!!!I guess he can do something.
Shallow - Agent X now trying to get back in this match by looking for
something to get the cuffs off.
JT - Agent X2 pulls him back in the ring and tornado piledrives him down to
GP - Agent X2 picks back up the taser and shocks the downed Agent X because
it's so damn fun!!!
Shallow - I know!! Agent X being laid up on a table and Agent X2 climbs up
there with him. Agent X2 tazzplexes Agent X off the table out of the ring
down to the hard floor into the guard rail!!!!!!!! Holy shit!!
(Crowd chants "Holy Shit!")
JT - Agent X2 now picks up the table and tosses it on Agent X's laying
body. We're dealing with a monster here!!!
GP - Agent X2 climbs out of the ring and looks under the ring. He's got brass
Shallow - Agent X stands up only to get pounded in the head with the brass
knuckles, he's bleeding from that hard shot!!!!
JT - Agent X2 locks in a sharp shooter!!! Agent X can't do a thing about
(View from VP Evan in the back watching it in his locker room, he's
laughing. The view goes back to the action.)
GP - Agent X2 applying the pressure on that sharp shooter. Agent X can't tap
out too ,he's hands are cuffed .I can't believe they even want to appoint a
ref for this match, both of them won't leave unless one is dead!!
Shallow - Agent X2 breaks the hold and picks up the table .He sets it up
against the guard rail!!! He lays Agent X against it and gets back in the
ring. He's getting on the turnbuckle!!! Moonsualt off the turnbuckle but Agent
X moves out of the way making Agent X2 crash into the table!!!!!!It didn't
JT - Agent X should run for his life!!
GP - He can't pick up any weapons either since his hands are behind his
back. We all know what Agent X always seems to use in his
matches, weapons. He's not gonna win tonight!
Shallow - Agent X walks to the laying body of Agent X2 and stomps on
it. Agent X2 with a low blow though and does a swinging choke slam through
JT - Agent X is in a hopeless fight for survival but something occurs to
me. Remember, Agent X2 said that when he beats Agent X the government will
take over the IWO.I don't like the sound of that.
GP - Oh great, Agent X is our only hope.
Shallow - So we're cheering for the jobber?
JT - Better then cheering for the other jobber.
GP - Agent X2 going under the ring for a.....chain saw!!!!!
Shallow - Oh cool. This reminds me of the movie Evil Dead.
JT - Agent X2 pulls the cord and that chainsaw is growling. He's gonna kill
GP - Yes!! No!!!I can't decide!!!
Shallow - Agent X2 swings it but Agent X moves out of the way making the
chain saw make contact with the guard rail!!!
JT - Agent X isn't running though....he's telling Agent X2 to try again!!!!
GP - Agent X2 swings but Agent X thinks fast and turns around making the
chain saw cut through the cuffs!!! He's free!!!
Shallow - Agent X punching back now knocking the chain saw out of Agent X2's
hands. Agent X with a drop toe hold sending Agent X2's head into the barrier.
JT - Agent X picks up the chain saw and holds it up in the air!!! Agent X2
stumbles his way up and Agent X grazes the chain saw across Agent X2's
forehead!!!! He's opened up and blood is coming out like a water fall. Agent X
picks Agent X2 back up who is in great pain and whips him into the
GT - Agent X lines up Agent X2 who is laying against the bulldozer and goes
for a stinger splash. Agent X2 moves at the last second and Agent X goes head
first into the bulldozer.
Shallow - Agent X2 climbing on top the bulldozer and pulls Agent X up with
him. Agent X2 with a jumping 360 cradle piledriver on the bulldozer!!!!
JT - Agent X2 now throws Agent X off straight to the ramp way. Now he's
climbing into the drivers seat!!!! He's going in reverse, he's gonna run over
Agent X who is currently lifeless on the ground!!!!
GP - He's almost there but Agent X notices what's going on and he's crawling
away but will he beat the bulldozer. He finally gets up and jump s into the
crowd in the niche of time as the bulldozer almost had him there!!!!
Shallow - Agent X2 stops the bulldozer and flips out into the crowd onto
Agent X. Both men down and none are showing movement. Wait ,both rising up and
continue to brawl out further into the crowd.
JT - Agent X now with a snap brainbuster!!! The security are trying to keep
the fans away from these two men.
GP - Agent X now locks in a STF Crippler Crossface. The ref looks for a tap
out but Agent X tells the ref to fuck off. Hey, the ref just peeled off his
shirt and throws it down. He's leaving this match!!!!
Shallow - This leaves this match a battle to the death!!!!
JT - Agent X lets go the hold and picks up Agent X2.Looks to be setting a
gut wrench power bomb but some how Agent X2 turns it into a hip toss!!! Agent
X just landed on his head on that one.
GP - Agent X2 now picks up Agent X and DVD into a reverse DDT on Agent X!!!
Shallow - Agent X2 now brings Agent X back to the barricade and military
presses him over the barricade back onto the ramp way!!! They begin fighting
it out back to the ring.
JT - Agent X whips Agent X2 into the steps. Agent X going under the ring and
he brings out a shovel. He nails Agent X2 in the head breaking the shovel
GP - Agent X now getting a chair and throws it in the ring. He climbs into
the ring and sets it by the ropes. Air Sabu onto Agent X2!!!!!!
Shallow - Agent X fight with Agent X2 up the ramp way to the entrance
way. Wait, now they're both climbing to the top of the TIT-TRON.
JT - They're on top and if one were to fall it would kill someone.
GP - It would kill you but IWO wrestlers are damn tough.
Shallow - You sure know how to kiss Jamie's ass.
JT - Both men battling it out on the tron .Agent X2 with a double under hook
powerbomb off the TIT TRON. Agent X drops right through the entrance way
floor!!!!!! Oh my god!!!
GP - Wait, Agent X2 is getting ready to jump!!450 off the TIT-TRON onto Agent
X!!!! That was suicidal.
Shallow - That was unbelievable!!!
JT - Both are not moving and that's not hard to believe.
GP - They seem to be out of it.
Shallow - Did he move?? No ,my imagination.
JT - They both now seems to be crawling on hands and knees but it's hard to
tell who will be up first. No, Agent X with a burst of energy races to his
feet and punches Agent X2.
GP - Getting close to the edge of the stage there and we got a sound booth
table down there. We don't want to lose Pay Per View coverage!
Shallow - Yeah, people want to listen to us just like people listen to the
original real audio show, Shallow Thoughts.
JT - What a shameless plug!!!
Shallow - Remember, vote for me for the year end awards or I'll be force to
get your addresses and kill every single person who didn't vote for me.
GP - I didn't vote for you though.
Shallow - Then you better watch your ass!!
JT - Agent X brings Agent X2 to the edge, side walk slam off the edge through
the sound booth table.
GP - ..........
Shallow - ...........
JT - Hahahahaha, they knocked out your sound. That's great!
GP - ..............
Shallow - .............
JT - Uhhhh, good thing they didn't hear you say that. I'm sure they're working
hard to get you back on.
GP - ...............
Shallow - ...........IWO is so stupid to put a sound booth table
There .Oh, I'm on!!??
GP - Yes sir, sound is back.
JT - Agent X climbs down but wait, there's a sniper in the rafters. He aiming
at Agent X, shot fired but Agent X pulls Agent X2 in front of him. Agent X2 is
dead!!!! Another shot fired nails Agent X in the head, good god!! Two
GP - Uhhhhhh ......yahoo?
(Suddenly the Tit-Ron comes to life again, and we see Pacific Champion Billy
Ray chatting with a IWO Roadie by a table. Suddenly out of no where Gerrard
Heart comes flying into camera view and smacks Billy Ray with a chair. Ray
falls back to the ground and Gerrard continually pounds on Ray with the
chair, until security comes down and pulls him away. He throws the chair on
top of Ray and storms away as the scene fades back to the announcers yet
GP: Gerrard Heart has just attacked current Pacific Champion Billy Ray, and
it looks like this new young rookie is trying to send a message to everyone
in the IWO!
JT: Ha ha, like what? I fuck mothers and milk cows? Give me a break!
Nikki: Shut your trap JT, I think he's cute... And he's a great wrestler,
JT: This is what I mean, Nikki! You think everyone's cute, you're just a
*SMACK SMACK SMACK*
GP: Well you two can bicker all you want, but here comes our next match!
Television Championship Match
Cyanide -c- vs. Mike Marchese w/Skip vs. Joe Johnson
GP: And we are back with a very action packed match for the Television Title, where the up and coming superstars of the IWO Fight it out for IWO GOLD!
Shallow: That's right Greg, and don't forget to vote for Johnny Shallow for the BEST REAL AUDIO SHOW OF THE YEAR!
JT: I find that offensive. My broadcast partners, Storm and Riot can kick your ass any day... Whatever happened to the match between you three, anyway?
Shallow: (becomes red). I dunno....
GP: Anyway, we don't care about possible action, we care about the real thing, and we got it going on right here, in: Minneapolis Minnesota! The home of Jesse Ventura!
Shallow: Jesse Ventura, I'm an EvanCrat... VP's Evan, and the rest of Jamie's faction are great.
JT: Do you ever stop talking about the RA shows or Jamie?
Shallow: Do you ever stop looking at breast?
Meygon: Coming to the Ring he is the TV CHAMPION OF THE IWO! Mr. BIG TIME! CYANIDE!
** Montague and the Capulets - Prokofiev blast thought the arena as Cyanide makes his way to the ring. **
Meygon: And the Challengers... Being accompanied by Skip, Mike Marchese
** Kenkraft 4000 by Zombie Nation blast thought the arena, as Mike and Skip come to the ring. **
Meygon: And the "other" challenger... Coming to the ring, now because I said so... Joe Johnson
** 'Judgement Day' Method Man blast thought the arena as he comes to the ring.. **
GP: and we are off! Gentleman start your engines!
(Fans errupt. They actually, want to see this match?)
GP: The fans are errupting at the sound of the bell. I have never herd that in all of my years of announcing.
Shallow: Lord knows that's a long time
JT: Do you have to be so pessimistic?
Shallow: Do you have to look at breast?
JT: Yes. What about you...
GP: Anyway. Mike Marchese with a flury of rights to the champion, He knocks Cyanide into the corner.
Shallow: Those punches got to hurt. Vote for me! I'm the only Real Audio Announcer to call a PPV!
JT: Cyanide, taking some hard shots. Cyanide falling over! Marchese, with an elbow to the champions goin.
Shallow: Those ball shots got to hurt. Vote for me!
JT: Would you like it if your testicals were elbow droped on too...
GP: Would you like it if your advantage was taken away by double leg takedown by Joe Johnson...
Shallow: Joe Johnson... That's like the most common name, first and last... That I've ever herd. And believe you me, I've herd a lot of names.
JT: Most of them being directed at you: Faghot, Slut, Skank, Gay, etc....
GP: ETC! That's exactly what kinda of pain Mike Marchese was in.... Why? Because, while these idoits were talking, both men got up after the takedown, they exchanged blows. Mike gained the uperhand, but lost it soon after he went for clothesline and was countered with a neckbreaker...
Shallow: Those gotta hurt your neck! Vote for me!
JT: Really? You mean they call it a neckbreaker for a reason? Nah!
GP: I'm gonna give you guys a reason to shut up, I tell you what. There's a great match going on here!
JT: Yeah! Shallow is crying just as Cyanide comes out of the corner to hit a double cothlesline!
Shallow: NO! A reversal! Marchese and Johnson counter with a double one armed ddt! And I'M NOT CRYING... *sniffle, sniffle*
GP: Cyanide is out... Both men cover him! One!
Shallow: Three! He's eliminated. Vote for me!
GP: The Champion's out! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION TONIGHT....
Shallow: Yeah... does the fun start yet?
JT: As soon as you stop gabbing, and start calling...
Shallow: As soon as you stop looking and start calling....
JT: I call more than you did.
Shallow: You didn't
JT: Yes I did.
Shallow: No you didn't
JT: Yes I did.
GP: Boys, enough.... While you were fighting with words, these two are fighting with blows! After the double pin of Cyanide, Mr. Bigtime, I'm no longer the champion... A pushing match enused between Johnson and Marchese. Marchese look to win, when Johnson reversed a push and DDTed him on to the turnbuckle...
JT: Joe now with a fisherman's ddt on Marchese...
Shallow: Marchese is up, I don't believe it.
JT: You don't believe much.
GP: Marchese is up! He's going for the Marchese Drop! NO! Joe gets out of the hold! Joe, with a tornado small package rollup! Cover!
Shallow: JOE JOHNSON IS YOUR NEW TV CHAMP! VOTE FOR ME!
[The scene cuts to the back were we see VP Evan working on the PPV .when all of a sudden there is a knock on the door!]
VP Evan: Yes what is it?
Man: Yea I got that past videos you wanted for later tonight sir!
VP Evan: Past videos I didn't ask for any!
Man: Well, Sire someone did and I got them for you!
VP Evan: Very Well, come on in!
[Evan typing on his computer looks up to see the door open and VP William running in with Dudley and Commish Tom! They nail him across the face with a chair knocking him out. William laughs as Dudley and Tom drag Evans body out of the office!]
VP William: Now that Evan is gone we can get things in motion .Dudley get read to win the World title and lets have the rightful winners win!
GP: WILLIAM HAS TAKEN OVER THE SHOW!
Shallow: Good .The last of Jamies ass kissers are gone!
JT: Damn it .hmmm ALL HAIL WILLIAM!!!
GP: Damn your quick to jump!
Shallow: He knows where the winning team is!
GP: Great looks like IM the only one with a diverse look on things. So Lets get to the next match!
United States Championship Match
Mike Extreme -c- vs. Wesley Sanders
JT: Here we go .. This match is going to be one of the best matches of the night . Mike Extreme the current United States Title holder will have to pull out all the stops to beat Wes and vice versa for Wes.
Shallow: Yes , my penis is larger than Vincents !
GP: We don't care .
[Lights dim out as Murder by UGK hits the pa system as Wesley Sanders comes out to the music and slaps fans hands]
GP: Wes Sanders is ready for Extreme . He looks it .
JT: Yes he does .
Shallow: Yes it looks like a big penis !
[Higher by Creed plays over the pa system as Wes Sanders looks for Mike Extreme to come down the entrance way]
JT: Look at Mike Extreme !
GP: He is just like Tarzan on that electrical wire .
Shallow: Wow big penis !
GP: Mike Extreme just flew into the ring on an electrical cord just like Tarzan and kicked Wes Sanders in the teeth .
Ding Ding Ding
JT: HERE WE GOOOO!!
GP: Extreme locks up with Sanders . Sanders breaks the hold up and runs off the ropes and tryies a clothesline but Extreme is just too much for Wes.
JT: That right !
GP: Wes now goes to the outside and gets a nightstick and brings it into the ring with him . He hits Extreme with it , ref calls for the bell .
[Some crappy music hits the pa as VP William comes down the entrance]
VP William: Well guys Mike wanted it .. He got it .. NO HOLDS BARRED , FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE FOR THE TITLE !
[The shit music hits as VP William leaves]
JT: Wow .
GP: Extreme goes to the outside and brings garbage cans into the ring and runs after Sanders with them . Sanders runs into the turnbuckle . Extreme with a garbage can onto Sanders head .
Shallow: HEAD !! HEAD !! HEAD !! I WANT HEAD !!
JT: Good for you !
GP: Extreme now goes back outside for some more goodies . He brings in a cup of coffee and a hacksaw.
JT: What the fuck is Extreme going to do with a fucking hacksaw .
Shallow: Beats me !
GP: Extreme now tryies to pour the coffee on Sanders face but Wes's boot kicks the cup into Extreme's face . Sanders with a garbage can .
JT: DAMNIT ! YOU HEAR EXTREME'S SKULL HIT THAT CAN .
Shallow: Yea !
GP: Sanders with a couple garbage can shots to the head of Extreme won't hurt would it?
JT: No !
GP: Extreme has been laid out by Sanders . Sanders now goes to the top rope and jups off with an elbow but misses .
JT: Extreme is going outside .
GP: Extreme now reaches under the ring and gets a table and brings it into the ring . He sets it up .
JT: He has a screw loose !
GP: Sanders now getting up . Sanders chasing Extreme. Extreme with a drop toe hold onto the table.
JT: YOU SEE SANDERS'S FACE HIT THE TABLE !
Shallow: OUCH !
GP: Extreme with the cover 1...2.. KICK out !
JT: Close call .
GP: Extreme now goes outside and pulls a rope and scissors into the ring .
JT: It looks like arts and crafts time for Wes .
GP: Extreme now locks up with Sanders . Sanders reverses a suplex into a ddt .
JT: Ouch !
GP: Sanders now goes for the scissors . Sanders now is cutting Extreme's hair out .
JT: Hey dont do that !
GP: Sanders now hooks up Extreme in an ankle lock . Sanders inforces more pressure onto Extreme's leg .
Mike Extreme: AHHHH SHIT !!! SHIT !!!!! AHHHHH NOOOOOO I WONT GIVE UP !!!!
GP: Sanders releases the hold and brings Mike outside the ring onto the table out infront of us . Sanders now on the top rope . Jumps off ..
JT: OHH FUCK SANDERS JUST MISSED A SPLASH OFF THE TOPE ROPE !
GP: Extreme now rolls a beaten Wes Sanders into the ring . Extreme now picks Sanders up and gives him a suplex . Extreme tosses Sanders off the ropes , Extreme with a bull dog !
Shallow: Shit !
GP: Sanders now reverses a toss to the ropes and flys to Extreme and they both collide .
JT: NO WAY .. THEYARE BOTH KNOCKED OUT !
GP: The ref counts .
GP: They both get up . Extreme with a spear . Sanders falls outside the ring .
JT: Now where the frig are they going ?
Shallow: I dunno .
GP: Extreme and Sanders are heading backstage . Sanders follows Extreme into the mens bathroom . Extreme gets the upper hand and tosses Wes into a bathroom stall .
JT: LOOK IT'S BOB BARKER SITTING ON THE SHITTER !
Shallow: Oops !
GP: Sanders now pushes Bob Barker off the shitter . Sanders now puts Extreme's head into the toilet and flashes the toilet .
JT: Extreme is going to drown in the shit !
Shallow: No fuck face its water !
GP: Any who ... Sanders now shoves some toilet paper down Extreme's throat . Sanders now drags Extreme out of the bathroom and they end up in the kitchen .
JT: The kitchen !
Shallow :FOOD !
GP: Extreme and Sanders both have the same idea and they grab some pots and pans . Sanders hits Extreme over the head with a stack of pans . Extreme is dead . Sanders with the cover 1...2... THRRRRR Kick out !
JT: Close call there !
GP: Now Extreme regains some power and goes for some whipped cream and some potatoes . Extreme now starts getting slap happy with the Whipped cream . He is putting it all over Wes's face . Now Extreme whipps the potatoes off of Sanders face .
JT: Mashed Potatoes anyone ?
GP: Extreme now drags Wes outside into the parking lot . Extreme now gets a forklift and tries to squash Wes with it . But Extreme cant find the keys . Wes has them in his pocket . Wes now starts to throw Extreme off the cars and picks him up and gives Extreme a belly to back suplex . Wes with the cover 1...2... kick out !
JT: Close again !
Shallow: Damn right !
GP: Wes now giving Extreme some stompings that he'll never forget . Extreme sweeps Sanders to the pavment . Extreme now pulls out a knife and trys to stab Sanders . Sanders kicks the knife out of Extreme's hand and Wes bulldogs Extreme into a car windsheild .
JT: Extreme is now fucked up.
Shallow: Yes you are right !
GP: Wes now climbs up on top of the raftors . Wes with a senton bomb onto a car . Missing Extreme totally.
JT: SENTON BOMB HOLY SHIT !
GP: Extreme now gets into the car and starts to drive around and trys to run over Sanders . Sanders is dodging the car left and right . Sanders now flys through the windshield and starts to punch Extreme in the face , Sanders pulls Extreme out through the windsheild .
JT: Sanders is beating the hell out of Extreme .
GP: Sanders now gets a glass mirror . Sanders hits Extreme over the head with the mirror .
Shallow: HOLY SHIT !!!
JT: 7 YEARS BACK LUCK !
GP: Sanders with the cover . 1...2... Kick out .
JT: Extreme barley kicked out of that .
Shallow: Extreme is busted open .
GP: Wes now takes Extreme to the outside of the arena . Wes now takes a peice of wood and cracks Extreme over the head with it . Extreme is down . Wes now drags Extreme in the middle of the road and starts to beat him down . Extreme now robs a beer bottle off of some bum on the street .
JT: Hey isn't that ?
Shallow: Yes it's Tom Hanks .
GP: Tom Hanks is a bum ?
JT: Naaa .. I am talking about the bum !
GP: Oh . Extreme cracks Sanders over the head with the bottle . Extreme with the pin in the middle of the road . 1...2... THRRR Kick out !
JT: Now what is Mike doing ?
GP: Extreme now climbs up on a bus and does a frog splash but misses . Sanders now with a bumper . Sanders cracks Extreme upside the head with a bumper . Wes now finds a stop sign and whales Extreme over the head with it .
JT: Wes is psycho !
Shallow: Yea he is .. I can't wait until Mall Brawl !
JT: Me neither !
GP: Extreme now gets up and throws a punch at Wes but misses and Wes does a modified version of a rock bottom to Mike Extreme onto a guard rail . Wes with the cover . 1....2....KICK OUT !
JT: This match is good !
GP: Extreme and Wes are going back into the arena . Now they are coming back down the aisle to the ring . Wes and Extreme are fighting back and forth .
JT: Wow .. Extreme just pulled a good suicide dive off the top .
GP: Extreme with the cover 1...2... kick out .
JT: Very close !
GP: Wes Sanders now gets up and finds a lead pipe . Wes now chases Extreme with the lead pipe . Wes hits Extreme with the lead pipe , Wes with the cover 1...2...3
JT: HE DID IT!!! HE BEAT EXTREME!!!
Shallow: Well looks like William is putting up the right winners!
["Memory Remains" by Metallica begins to blast around the arena and the lights slowly dim to black with the United States Champion still awaits in the ring.. The IWO tron slowly brights up with the words..United States champion burning in a neon green version of the IWO logo.. Pyro then goes off in the air and the lights come back on after the blasts and Dane Matthews walks down towards the bring focusing heavily on the United States Champion....Dane gets into the ring..]
GP- What the hell is he doing here?!
JT- Well, dumb ass he is a FORMER US Champ!
Shallow- Dane is getting closer to Wesely Sanders..Dane's got brass knuckles!! He just knocked out Sanders...
JT- Look at this.. He's now bringing the loser back up with him.. DOWNTOWN EXPLOSION ON Weseley SANDERS!
GP- Oh my god! Once, again Dane Matthews rampage continues.. This time finding the victum of Wesley Sanders...What the hell could Dane Matthews want?!
[Matthews grabs a mic] Dane Matthews- Wesley Sanders...Finally grabbing a hold of some gold...Well, congratulations.. Now, my question is how are you going to survive without your little Anal Circle behind you?! It might've been a MAJOR mistake leaving them.. Because, every time you defend your newly won United States championship your going to get creamed.. You see tonight it was suppose to be me against you for the United States championship which should be in my arms right about now.. But, nonetheless we've got the most undeserving United States Champion in the IWO history.. But, on Hostile Takeover the time is going to change and the US title is once again going to be in the hands of Dane matthews.. Your punk ass just got JACKED and on HT your going to once again feel the wrath of the Downtown Explosion.. NOBODY is SAFE exspecially your sorry ass! You've been warned.. Now, bring your gold to Hostile Takeover and prepare to get your ass kicked!
[ Dane Matthews drops the mic and leaves to a loud chorus of boo's. ]
GP: Well looks like the US title contest is picking up!
JT: Damn right it is!! We can all thank William for that!
Shallow: Well, lets get right too are next match!
Extreme Title Match
Extreme Title Shock Pole Match
The Title is hung on a pole. When you are hit with the title, you are eliminated.
To get the title however, you must climb up a pole, which randomly shocks the person trying to grab the title belt.
Justin Shack -c- vs. Fenix vs. Shawn Carter
GP- Heatstroke has been WILD as of yet, and now...it's going to get a little EXTREME! After what happened at Hostile Meltdown, we had the crowning of a new Extreme Champion....the one and ONLY....Justin Shack.
Shallow- Oh yes, the under-rated loud mouth from Detriot. Yah know, Shack impresses me. Even though he talks a lot, he can still back it all up, and he has proven that time and time again.
JT- 3 TIME UNITED STATES CHAMPION! THAT'S IWO HISTORY AS WE SPEAK.
GP- Very true. But his competitors are no push overs... Fenix and Shawn Carter. These two athletes are tough, and ready to tear anyone apart.
Shallow- Whoa whoa, Gregg, you are making it seem like it's Shack against 2. Remember, it's a 3 way dance.
JT- I want to see some BLOOD!
GP- Well someone's gonna get shocked, and nailed with a belt, or else their won't be a winner!
Shallow- Enough talk, lets get to it!
Announcer- Eh hem! Exscuse em mwa.....this next bout, is a Shock Pole Match for the Extreme Championship!!!!
Announcer- Introducing first, hailing from Baltimore Maryland, HE...IS.....SHAWN CARTER!!!
("Whoa!" by Black Rob blasts as Shawn Carter runs to the ring)
GP- Hey look, it seems as if Shawn Carter is climbing the pole already.
JT- He wants a head start, all he has to do is grab the title when the bell sounds. WHATTA GAME PLAN!
Announcer- AND INTORODUCING NEXT.....FENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(No music plays as Fenix runs down to the isle and gets into the ring. Suddenly, the lights black out. "Killing in the name of...." by Rage Against The Machine THUNDERS threw out the arena as the fans get on there feet. The bell sounds, and the lights flick on)
GP- Shack is in the ring! The EXTREME CHAMP has arrived! The pole shocks and Shawn Carter falls off! Ha, so much for that game plan!
*DING DING DING!*
JT- Aw that sucks.
Shallow- Shack runs and nails Fenix with a hard elbow shot to the forehead knocking Fenix down. Shack begins to stomp a mud-hole in Fenix. Shack's a sicko, he enjoys this kind of stuff.
JT- Shawn Carter still dazed, and reaches for a chair under the ring. He slides into the ring, takes a swing at Shack. CONNECTS! Shack falls to the mat instantly. Fenix gets up and spears Carter into the corner. Fenix grabs that chair and runs at Carter, buries his face in the steel!
GP- Fenix whips Carter into the ropes, and nails him with a big boot to the gut, running neckbreaker connected! Shack rolling to the outside, and onto his feet. The champ in dazed, and now runs into the ring. Shack and Fenix exchanging lefts and rights in the center of the ring! Fenix whips Shack into the ropes, and connects a cross body block! Shack gets up, super kick by Fenix. Shack very slowly up....Hurricanrada by Fenix sending Shack out of the ring!
JT- Shack is looking pretty bad right now.
Shallow- Sure is. Fenix looking outstanding. He grabs Carter and is pounding away on his face. Sets him on the top rope, Super plex! What connection! Fenix lifting up Carter and is pounding him. Carter edging towards the ropes, and Fenix with a big superkick knocking Carter out of the ring. Fenix now climbing the pole. Shack rolls into the ring, and has that chair. He smacks Fenix in the back, and FENIX FALLS TO THE OUTSIDE AND NAILS THE GUARD RAILING! GOOD GOD! FENIX IS OUT COLD!
GP- Look at that smirk on Shacks face. Fuckin sicko.
JT- Hey, SHUT UP GREGG! SHACK DOES WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN!
Shallow- I respect that.
GP- You would!
Shallow- Anyway, Shack now rolling out of the ring grabbing Carter. Right in front of us, Shack with a number of chops to the chest. Shack slamming Carters head on our announce table! I felt that!
JT- Shack with a lift up, rolling stun gun onto the guard railing!
GP- HEY! Shack, get off my water cooler!
Shack- Shut up small fry! Ok?!
JT- Shack nails Carter with the cooler.
*Out of the cooler rolls a few Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, and Whiskey bottles....*
GP- Damnit Shack!
Shallow- Shack now throwing Carter into the ring post! Carter busted open, and reaching for some leverage. Shack stomping his ribs in, and throws him into the ring. Fenix getting up slowly, and Shack just kicks his teeth in!
GP- Shack rolls in the ring and is pounding away on Carter. Sends him into the ropes, spinebuster! Shack now going for the...Peoples Elbow? He takes off his...knee pad, and throws it at Fenix. He hits the ropes, comes back, Fenix with a jumping heel kick knocking Shack to the mat. Fenix with a rolling swanton bomb! Shack holding his gut in pain. Fenix lifts him up and chops him in the face. Fenix now pounding away on Shack. Shack with a boot, and a running DDT out of the corner!
JT- Shack lifts up Carter, but a poke from Carter. Carter with a pulling piledriver. Fenix with a rolling standing dropkick to Carter who is now flat on his back. Fenix climbing the top, and instead of getting the title, NAILS a swanton bomb! Carter shaking! Shack crawling to the turnbuckle and gets up. Fenix grabs him but Shack with a elbow to the face. Shack climbing the top, and hits a corkscrew moonsault from Shack, but Fenix caught it, POWERBOMB! Wow, what power.
Shallow- Lifts him up again, POWERBOMB. Looking for 3, but Shack with a hurricanrada out of the ring! Fenix nails the floor hard. Shack is holding his back in agoney. Carter getting up, and now throwing in garbage cans, VCRS, tables, 2 x 4's, bats, pans, crutches, the kitchen sink! Shack picks up a crutch, and rams it over the head of Carters head. Carter stumbles back, and charges. ANOTHER shot, breaking the crutch over the head! Carter is laid out.
GP- Shack looking around, Fenix has a damn exstinguisher. NAILS SHACK! Shack falls to the ground. Fenix setting up a table now, and rapping some "barbed wire" around it. Shack is now shaking in fear. Fenix with a frying pan shot!
JT- That calmed him down.
Shallow- More like knocked him out.
GP- Fenix sets him on top, Fenix jumps on Shack's neck...TORNADO DDT THREW THE TABLE! Lord!!!!!!!!
JT- This isn't good, Shack is hurt.
Shallow- Fenix getting up slowly as the barbed wire is sticking to him...nasty. Carter is poised, standing completley set to nail Fenix with that bat. Fenix turns around.....BAT SHOT! Nails Fenix across the neck, adams apple. Fenix is coughing up blood in the ring...
JT- Damn this is nasty.
GP- Carter with a bottle of "BenGay", rubbing it in Fenix's eyes! Ouch that stings like a bitch. Fenix is choking on blood, and can't see screaming in pain. Carter now climbing the top a bloody mess. He is reaching for the Extreme belt, he's almost there....the pole shocks! Oh no not again! Carter falling threw the table set up on the outside! Carter's head is stuck underneith a bar from the table. That table just completley broke.
JT- Shack getting up slowly...and turns around Fenix. BOOT, SHACK ATTACK! (Sitting Pedigree) Connected! I love that move!
Shallow- He never misses it. Shack tired though, and fatigue is always a factor at this time in a match.
GP- Exactly Johnny. Shack is getting up and setting up a chair. I think this is the prelude to the Shacked 4 life. Fenix is trying....trying to get up. It isn't going to fast.. but he is stumbling around. Shack runs, off the chair but slips! Shack missed it, and nails his face flat on a VCR! Busting the VCR threw the ring. God Shack has pieces in his eyes.
JT- Gruesome. This reminds of Ken War's final match.
Shallow- That was sick shit.
GP- Fenix now picking up Shack, and connects a bulldog! Shack tumbles out of the ring. But here comes Carter with a clothesline knocking down Fenix. Fenix and Carter brawling it out in the center of the ring. Fenix whipped into the ropes, Carter throws him up, backbreaker mid-air! Fenix is grabbing his back in pain. Carter picking up a limp Fenix....Blackout! The inverted powerbomb! Fenix is out.
JT- Carter now climbing the top, and the pole for a 3rd time.
Shallow- I think he's got it this time! Yes, Shawn Carter has the Extreme Belt in possession. Carter climbing down onto the mat, and waiting for Fenix to get up. Edging on Fenix..
GP- Carter is about to slip away the winner here guys!
JT- Fenix is getting up, and is saying "Hit me with the belt". Exscuse my french but...what a fuckin idiot. Doesn't he know he'll lose?
Shallow- Obviously not, Carter is having no problem with the request! He winds up, but Shack is on the apron with a medicated NEEDLE! HE STABS CARTER IN THE NECK! OH MY GOD! BLOOD SQUIRTING OUT OF HIS NECK! SICK SHIT! CARTER FALLS TO HIS KNEES IS PAIN, CRYING IN PAIN! SHACK, SICK FUCK!
GP- Fenix was saved by the needle! Shack has something else, I don't want to know what it is. It is a...oh god, I don't like this anymore.
JT- THE CHAIN SICKLE! FENIX IS BEGGING FOR MERCEY! SHACK IS LAUGHING! HE NAILS FENIX IN THE HEAD WITH THE BLADE PART! FENIX'S FOREHEAD WITH A DEEP CUT NOW. SHACK GRINDING THE CHAIN SICKLE INTO THE SKULL OF FENIX! THIS IS FUCKIN DISGUSTING BUT AWESOME!
GP- Shack is holding up the chain sickle to the crowd, and they explode with applause!!
Shallow- Fenix now grabbing a god damn steak. TO KILL THE VAMPIRE SHACK!
GP- Shut up Shallow, how can you enjoy this? It is freakin murder! FENIX RUNS AT SHACK AND RAMS THE STEAK INTO THE FACE OF SHACK! INTO THE CHEEK, BLOOD TRICKLING DOWN SHACKS EYES. Shack falls over to his knees, and grabs the Extreme title belt pushing it into his stomach trying to hide it from Fenix.
JT- Well Fenix is looking for it, and is in front of Shack. Shack raises, and Fenix turns around! Shack nails FENIX! The ref was distracted by Shawn Carter with the needle in his neck! Shack has won, but the ref didn't see. Shack celebrating, jumping in the air with his hands up.
Shallow- Shack has won!
GP- No he hasn't! The ref didn't see it. Fenix is slowly getting up now, and turning around the referee. Fenix has the title, and Shack has his back turned jumping up and down. Shack turning around, BELT SHOT! FENIX NAILED SHACK! LAID HIM OUT!
JT- NO FAIR! SHACK HAD IT WON!
Shallow- Why isn't the ref ringing the bell?
GP- I think another official said that Shack had hit Fenix with the belt when the ref had his back turned. What is the final word?
Ref- THIS MATCH MUST CONTINUE, NO WINNER!
GP- What a call! Hey look at Carter, he's sleeping. That medicated needle is kicking in.
JT- Shack is rolling out of the ring, where the hell is he going?
Shallow- Into the back of course.
GP- Fenix is waiting in the ring with the Extreme belt. Suddenly, here comes Shack with a glass case! About 4 feet tall! What the hell is in there?
JT- I can't make it out. Shack is laughing, and Fenix runs out of the ring charging at Shack. Fenix thrown into the glass! Shack is opening the door to the glass jar, and is pulling out a .....bee hive? Oh please no....god damnit TAKE COVER!
Shallow- I'm stopping this shit, I am alergic!
GP- Shallow walking out towards Shack and telling him to put it inside. Shack is doing so, here comes Fenix, nails em! Shack closes the door but is stung in the process! Ouchies!
JT- Fenix grabbing Shack and throwing him into the isle. Fenix repeadidly kicking at Shacks forehead. Shack stumbling up to the guard railing and grabs someone's Corona bottle, bashes it over Fenix's head! Shack stumbling up the isle ramp, as Fenix grabs a piece of glass. He charges at Shack and stabs him in the back! Shack leashes out a scream and falls to the steel!
Shallow- This is extreme shit my friends.
GP- You got that right. Shack has a damn piece of 4 inch glass in his back. Fenix now lifting up Shack, and delivers a harsh boot to the mid-section. Lifts him up, face buster on the steel! Shack flops over onto his back with that glass digging inside of his back...gruesome.
JT- Fenix feeling a little woozy from loss of blood.
GP- That chain sickle Shack used getting the best of Fenix.
Shallow- Fenix falls to his knees and doesn't look very well. Shack is somehow getting up, he pulls out brass knucks and has a very pissed off look in his eye. Fenix turns around, and is met with a hard right hand by Justin Shack! Fenix falls to the steel instantly.
GP- Shack prancing down the isle, and pulling out two tables from underneith the IWO ring. He is bringing them to the top of the isle and setting them up. Shack has one set up, and now placing the second one right on top. Shack lifting up Fenix and placing him on top of the second table. Shack and Fenix standing on the second table, about 15 feet off the ground. About 5 feet above them is the top of the IWO-tron. They are pretty high up guys...
JT- Shack is pounding on Fenix's forehead knocking him out completley. Shack now jumping and JUST catching onto the bar, ontop of the IWO tron. Shack needs to get off of there before he kills em self.
Shallow- Shack is a basketcase. He is climbing up onto the top, and trying to get good balance.
GP- Hey guys, where is Shawn Carter?
JT- Um....I thought he was knocked out in the ring.
GP- Obviously not he is gone!
Shallow- Who cares! Fenix is about to get put threw 2 tables! Shack is on top of the IWO-tron and looks poised. WAIT! Fenix is getting up, Shack is pissed off. Wait a minute, Shawn Carter! He is on top of the IWO tron right behind Shack! He has a chair, and whacks Shack in the back with it! Shack tumbles off the IWO tron! NAILS FENIX ON THE SECOND TABLE WITH A THEZ PRESS! RIGHT THREW TWO TABLES! SHACK SMACKS HIS HEAD ON THE STEEL AND IS OUT COLD, AND SO IS FENIX!! SHAWN CARTER IS STANDING TALL ON THE IWO-TRON!
GP- GOOD GOD! A MID-AIR THEZ PRESS OFF OF A CHAIR SHOT, AND SHACK SMACKED HIS HEAD ON THE STEAL. I THINK HE'S DEAD GUYS!
JT- Shawn Carter is now climbing down the IWO tron, and is on the steel ramp way. Walking over to a knocked out Fenix and Justin Shack. Carter lifting up Shack and dragging him down the isle.
GP- No sign of movement from Shack.
Shallow- Carter throws him into the ring. He is yet again getting something from out under the ring. It's a damn cinderblock! Carter slides it into the ring and now is laughing at Shack.
JT- Shack is defenseless.
Shallow- Carter is senseless!
GP- AND DANGEROUS! Carter picks up Shack and drives his forehead into the turnbuckle. Shack lying in the turnbuckle out. Carter grabbing that cinderblock and is in a football position tackle. He charges at Justin Shack with that cinderblock and cracks it over Shacks head! Shack tumbles to the outside a bloody mess!
JT- It didn't break though, luckily. Carter is now celebrating. He has the Extreme title belt, and slides out of the ring. He grabs Shack and throws him into the ring. Carter is going to knock out the Champ from this match. Shack is on his hands and knees. Carter on the top rope with that Extreme title. He is gonna try a mid-air belt shot!
Shallow- Nice call.
GP- Shack scrambling around his hands, and grabs the cinderblock. Carter unaware, and is waiting for Shack to turn around. Shack turns around and Carter leaps off the turnbuckle, CINDERBLOCK SHOT TO THE BELT NAILING CARTER OUT COLD!
Announcer- Shawn Carter has been eliminated!
GP- Shawn Carter is lying out cold in the corner of the ring. That's one down.
JT- Fenix is slowly making his way towards the ring. He slides into the ring and Shack and Fenix brawling it out in the center of the ring! Fenix knocks Shack down, and Shack grabs the Extreme belt. He swings at Fenix but misses. Fenix with a boot to the gut, front face DDT! Fenix grabbing the belt, and wrapping it around his waist. Shack is a little dazed, and is up to his feet groggy...
Shallow- Fenix runs at Shack but Shack connects a flying clothesline, both men tumble to the outside.
JT- Fenix up, and throws Shack into the ring and Shack is searching for the Extreme belt! Fenix has it on the outside! He is in the ring and is smiling ear to ear. Shack is trembling, Fenix swings, and Shack ducks. Fenix turns, SHACKED 4 LIFE! THE SUPER KICK! NAILED IT! SHACK HAS WON! THE BELT NAILED FENIX! SHACK RETAINS THE TITLE!
GP- Shack still Extreme Champion!
*Suddenly....Justin Shack walks down the isle?*
JT- What the hell? Who is that....
*Suddenly another Justin Shack walks out threw the fans. Another Justin Shack comes from the other side, and the other side. 3 more are coming from the isle way*
GP- This is weird shit, what the hell is Justin Shack doing. Who is Justin Shack? They are all in the ring.
*The lights go out*
("Killing in the name of..." by Ratm. blasts as the lights come back on. Shack, well, is in the ring alone, just him, Fenix and a knocked out Carter)
Shack- *As "Killing in the name of.." hums down* Well, I guess you are all wondering what the hell Justin Shack is doing. Well, I'll explain myself. Let me just ask one question, can I be in the hall of fame?
*Pauses and smiles*
Shack- Come on Kosoy! I've been United States champion 3 times! HISTORY! 3RD EVER PACIFIC CHAMP! I/C TAG! AND NOW EXTREME! Those are Hall Of Fame numbers guys. I can be like The Raging One, who needs the World Title??
GP- What is Shack leading too?
Shack- Well...3 or 4 long years...I cannot remember the exact date I entered IWO. I remember...right after Fear the Darkness, that pay per view.
GP- That was a great night.
JT- Sure was.
Shack- Yep, I fought my very first couple IWO fights in one night. ICE AGE...The World Title tournament. A rookie...Havok right? Remember? Went all the way to the top, and lost...to Ken War. But don't worry, I got my revenge on War later. Hahaha....
Shack- Then I went on to beat Jason Nash for the United States belt, I'd win that 3 times. Me and Al taking over the IC Tag titles. Then I beat War for the Pacific a few days ago a year ago at this very pay per view. Heatstroke. Yep....it's been a wild ride for me in IWO. Justin Shack...the under-rated superstar that IWO never got to see. It's a shame. But It was fun while it lasted....but, things move on, people change. Justin Shack has other places to be, and other things to see. IWO, the ride was fun, and it was crazy. THIS time....Justin Shack isn't coming back.
Shallow- What? Can't be!
Shack- Soo...IWO...I guess this is goodbye.
*Shack places the Extreme title on Fenix, declaring HIM the winner. He walks out of the arena with a standing Ovation*
GP- Good bye Justin Shack...you will be missed.
*Shack turns around and waves as he exits the isle*
GP: Fans what a sad moment!
[All of a sudden the scene cuts to the back were we see William sitting around watching this!]
William: Well ..that sucks! But we cant have the Extreme title just handed to Finx .But then again Finx is a funny funny man ..hmmm OK I'll let that happen but im still going to give Carter a title shot at HT that seems fair enough!
[The scene cuts back to the announcers]
GP: FENIX CARTER HT!!! What a match!
JT: Yeah! No way it can get any better . Oh wait it can .We can not be here!
IC Tag Title Match
Tag Team Battle Royal
Jack Knight & Andrew vs. Joe Johnson & Hardcore Hoefel vs. The Winds of Change vs. Sticks and Stones vs. The Spaz Event
Shallow: Well look at this! All teams are already in
the ring and ready to kick each other's ass!
GP: Well this is certainly going to be a great match
as all of these teams get ready to fight for the IWO
IC Tag Team Championships. What's everyone's
prediction? I myself am going for Sticks and Stones,
an impressive young tag team here in the IWO.
JT: Sticks and Stones!? Those guys have cut the most
boring promos I have ever seen in IWO history, I don't
think it could get any worse, well having them as IC
Tag champs, I am going for Winds of Change!
Shallow: While you two are sitting there picking gay
ass loser teams, I am going to choose a great team, a
team that reminds me of... ME! Sex N' Ratings all the
JT: Shut your trap! All the teams are brawling and
this is going to be pretty exciting! Joey Malone and
Daniel Phillips are brawling with Sticks and Stones!
Spaz Event are beating on Jack Knight and Andrew! Sex
N' Ratings and Deadly Destruction! Everyone is
GP: Wiggey D has Joe Johnson, a HUGE POWERBOMB! Joe
Johnson is laying flat on his back and Wiggey D and
PaiN are double teaming Hardcore Hoefel.
Shallow: Joey Malone is beating on Adam Hunter!
Hitting him right between the eyes! Daniel Phillips is
showing Axel Stone the meaning of pain, as he
continues to bash his head in the turnbuckle!
JT: Sex N' Ratings have Hardcore Hoefel on the top
rope! He is trying to fight them off, but they
continue to hammer on him, WAIT! Joe Johnson is up and
getting on the second turnbuckle, he low blows BOTH of
Sex N' Ratings! This is great! They are both down, he
stands there proud and gives Hardcore Hoefel a high
five, but Hardcore hit Joe's hand so hard, HE FELL
OVER THE TOP! Deadly Destruction are out!
Eliminated: Deadly Destruction
GP: Certainly not a good way to go, but Sex N' Ratings
lay on the ground as the Spaz Event pound on Andrew
and Jack Knight. The Main Event has Andrew, and drops
him with a version of the Crucifix Powerbomb!
Shallow: Spaz locks on a version of the Million Dollar
Dream on Jack Knight! Knight looks like he is ready to
take a huge nap and never wake up! The Main Event
picks up Andrew, he goes to send him over the top, but
Andrew hangs on! Andrew is back in the ring and has
The Main Event by the back of the head, REVERSE DDT!
He puts The Main Event on the top rope, and dropkicks
him to the outside. Spaz seems mad as he exits the
ring, but not before takign Andrew down with a huge
Eliminated: The Spaz Event
JT: Andrew is checking on Jack Knight while the other
three teams break into one huge god damn brawl! LOOK
AT ADAM HUNTER! I SEE BLOOD!! YESSS!! IWO! IWO!
Shallow: Yes JT is right for once, Adam Hunter is
bleeding pretty bad, and Joey Malone is opening the
cut up more, with huge, stiff right hands! Joey Malone
kicks Adam in the gut, and nails him with a big gut
GP: While your looking at that, Wiggey D and Axel
Stone are setting up Daniel Phillips for something!
Daniel is down and Stone is on top. Wiggey D grabs his
hands and tosses him onto Daniel! Andrew comes flying
out of nowhere and plants Wiggey D with a HUGE
clothesline! PaiN sees this and charges after Andrew,
but is cut short by Jack Knight, who clips out PaiN's
Shallow: Daniel is out of it, but it appears that his
partner is being double teamed by Sticks and Stones!
Adam Hunter and Axel Stone are stomping away. Daniel
is trying to get up, but it doesn't look like he is
going to for a while, WAIT! Sticks and Stones are
trying to throw Malone over, Hunter comes off and
clotheslines him! IS MALONE OUT OF THIS MATCH!? MY
JT: Sticks and Stones are going after Sex N' Ratings,
and the team of Andrew and Jack Knight! The main
question is, is Malone out!? Wait! Malone held onto
the ropes! He pulls himself back in and charges at the
other three teams, knocking them all down! Malone is
stomping away on every member of every team! Andrew!
Jack Knight! Axel Stone! Adam Hunter! THE CUT IS
REALLY BLEEDING! Wiggey D! PaiN! Everyone is being
stepped on by Joey Malone! This could end their
wrestling career's as we know it, should Malone
continue this punishment!
GP: PaiN grabs Malone's foot and Wiggey D hits a hard
kick to the ass! YES I SAID ASS! Daniel Phillips is
still out of it from that move earlier, and I honestly
don't think he is going to be moving for quite some
time! Wait! Phillips rolled under the bottom rope to
the floor! Is he out!?
Shallow: I don't think so, because it's an over the
top battle royal and one hell of a battle royal is I
must say so. Every team giving it their all and we
should expect some great stuff from them! Andrew and
Jack Knight are brawlign with Sticks and Stones,
opening Adam hunter up even more!
JT: Look at Sex N' Ratings! They got Joey Malone up
top! Wiggey D is behind Malone signaling for
something! WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE! There's one of
those damn Janitors with a broom, he smacks Wiggey D
over the back, and Wiggey D falls through the Midget
Eliminated: Sex N' Ratings
GP: Look at those short little men scatter! [A midget
kicks him in the shin for calling them short.] OUCH!
TAKE THE MATCH YOU GUYS!
JT & Shallow: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
GP: CALL THE DAMN MATCH!
JT: With only three teams left, expect the action to
heat up, well maybe not for Winds of Change due to the
fact that Daniel Phillips is on the outside, out cold!
Axel Stone, Joey Malone and Andrew are brawling on one
side of the ring while Adam Hunter and Jack Knight on
the other side! ADAM HUNTER'S FACE IS NOW COVERED IN
BLOOD! Adam Hunter is going crazy on Jack Knight and I
am suprised to see he is actually walking and moving
with the amount of blood he has lost in this match!
GP: Well it is pretty exciting to watch, Adam Hunter
losing blood, and it appears Jack Knight has a big
shiner right above his eye! He feels his face and
feels that it is puffed out, and gets an enraged look
on his face. He rapidly beats the living hell out of
Adam Hunter! Jack Knight is busting Hunter open even
more, and Hunter keeps hitting the black eye of Jack
Knight trying to bust it open! They are exchanging
Shallow: Black eye? Shiner? Make up your damn mind GP,
anyways, on the other side of the ring, Axel Stone,
Joey Malone and, where the hell is Andrew? He's layed
out! Stone and Malone are beating the hell out of each
other, Stone goes to punch Malone and Malone all of a
sudden ducks and hit his own version of the Rock
Bottom! Malone looks to the other side, charges them
and nails them with a double clothesline! Malone is
going crazy he has Andrew and Adam Hunter, he smashes
their heads together!
GP: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SICK SOUND!? WHAT IN GOD'S
NAME WAS THAT SICK FUCKING SOUND!? MY GOD! LOOK AT THE
RING! THE RING IS STAINED BLOOD RED! MY FUCKING GOD!
JT: Calm down there! OH MY GOD! [Camera Zooms in on
Knight.] JACK KNIGHT'S BLACK EYE BUSTED OPEN! THAT IS
SICK! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AND OUT! MALONE IS LAUGHING!
Shallow: That is indeed sick! Look at Malone, he goes
over to Andrew and Stone who are both on the ground,
but hitting each other, Malone is going up top, he
lands a splash on both of the downed men! He walks
back over to Jack Knight, picks him up and ARIZONA
HEATWAVE! Jack Knight is almost fucking dead! Malone
picks him up and tosses him over the top with ease!
Eliminated: Jack Knight and Andrew
GP: Two teams left, well one and a half, if you count
the unconcious Daniel Phillips. Axel Stone and Adam
Hunter are beating on the helpless Joey Malone! Malone
is fighting back, but it's not enough as they take him
down with a huge double suplex! They pick Malone up
and try to toss him over the top, but he won't go!
JT: They have Malone and are setting him up for the
BROKEN BONES! He's on top of Hunter's shoulders, and
Stone is up top, wait the ropes are moving and Stone
lands on his midsection!
Shallow: MY GOD! DANIEL PHILLIPS FROM THE DEAD!
CLIPPING THE LEG OF ADAM HUNTER! HE TOSSES HIM INTO
THE ROPES AND THE FATED HURRICANE(Spinebuster-Inverted
DDT Combo)!! MY GOD! MALONE RUSHES AND DROPKICKS STONE
OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE THE
NEW CHAMPIONS! MY GOD!
GP: They are handed their NEW IWO IC Tag Team
Championships, they both put the belts on and climb
the turnbuckles and raise their hands high in victory!
They shake hands, and raise each other's hand! This is
truly a great moment in IWO history!
JT: I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! AHAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU! [He
gets kicked in the shin by a midget] OUCH! DAMN LITTLE
FAG, COME HERE!
[JT Wanders off after the midget as the Winds of
Change continue to celebrate becoming new IWO
Intercontinental Tag Team Champions.]
World Tag Team Championship Matchup
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(High Flyer and Tony Davis) -c- vs. Total Chaos
GP: Fans, it has been a great night here at Heatstroke. And we still have
the Mall Brawl Main Event to come!
JT: But now we have to get ready for this tag team title match here. It
will pit the tag team that has gone real well over with the fans,
V.I.A.G.R.A., and the new formed team of Total Chaos that consists of Dane
Matthews and Mike Extreme. Two men who have both held IWO gold before. It
will be interesting to see what happens.
Shallow: This new team of Total Chaos seems like they'll be some real good
competitors. They might be giving Flyer and Davis a run for their money
JT: You've got to be kidding me! Flyer and Davis are both former World
Champs, together, they are unstoppable. Hey, does anyone know what
V.I.A.G.R.A stands for?
Shallow: Violent...wait, you're a commentator. You should know these things.
I'm not gonna tell you, so screw you!
JT: Greg, c'mon man. Fill me in.
GP: She's right man. You shoulda done your homework.
JT: Screw you guys then. I'm just gonna sit here.
Shallow: Finally, silence.
JT: Shut up!
Shallow: I knew you couldn't be quiet.
GP: Fans, let's go to the ring here with our next match!
Meygon: Fans, this next match here at Heatstroke is for the IWO World Tag
Team Championship! Coming to the ring first.....
("Memory Remains" by Metallica plays as Dane Matthews walks out from the
Meygon: He is the former IWO US Champion, he is "The Real Deal" Dane
(Dane comes to the ring and looks at the entranceway.)
Meygon: And his tag team partner......
("Higher" by Creed plays as Mike Extreme walks out from the back. The fans
begin to give a round of boos.)
Meygon: He is the former IWO Extreme champion.......he is "The Enforcer"
(Mike Extreme hops into the ring and high fives Dane Matthews. They make the
motion of their hands around their waists saying they are gonna win the
Meygon: And their opponents......
("Loco" by Coal Chamber plays as the fans go nuts throughout the arena. High
Flyer and Tony Davis walk out from the back with Kate Young. They have the
tag team titles around their waist and the pyro goes off all around them.)
Meygon: They are the reigning IWO Tag Team Champions, "The Snow Selling Time
Traveling Lunatic" High Flyer and "The Nads Selling Maniac" Tony Davis, they
are TEAM V.I.A.G.R.A.!!!!!!!
(Flyer and Davis run into the ring and starting trading licks with Matthews
*Ding Ding Ding*
GP: And here we go! Flyer and Davis have made their way into the ring and
are pounding away on Total Chaos. Davis and Flyer send Matthews and Extreme
into the ropes and they catch them both with a back body drop! Flyer tosses
Matthews out and Davis tosses Extreme out! These fans are going nuts!
Shalow: Flyer and Davis now take the tag team titles off and hand them to the
ref who throws them out of the ring. Matthews and Extreme are on the outside
holding their heads trying to figure out how they are gonna beat these two.
GP: But while they're thinking, Flyer and Davis fly over the top rope onto
Extreme and Matthews! What a move! Now Davis and Flyer go back to the inside
and wait on Extreme and Matthews.
JT: Well now Dane Matthews hops up on the apron and goes inside the ring.
Tony Davis steps to the outside and goes to his corner. Matthews goes for a
clothesline on Flyer, but is taken down with a dropkick by Flyer!
GP: Flyer goes to the ropes and nails a kneedrop on Matthews and then locks
on a front facelock. Matthews is not trying to get out. Dane gets to his
feet and nails an elbow to the stomach of Flyer. Dane is know loose from the
hold and he springs off the ropes and nails a cross body block on Flyer!
Shallow: Dane now picks up Flyer and sends him into the turnbuckle. He goes
for a clothesline by is caught with a boot to the face. Flyer now climbs to
the top turnbuckle. He dives off and nails a top rope dropkick on Matthews!
Now Flyer goes over and tags out to Davis.
GP: Davis now comes inside and nails Matthews with a clothesline. He picks
Dane up and sends him into the ropes. Matthews comes back and Davis catches
him with an arm drag into an armbar. Davis locks on the hold good and keeps
Matthews down. Dane now trying to fight it, he gets back up. He turns the
hold around and gets a wristlock on Davis. Matthews twists the hold once
more and puls Davis down by the hair. Davis pops right back up and reverses
the wristlock. He takes Matthews and kicks him in the stomach and DDTs him
right into the mat!
JT: Now Davis runs into the ropes and comes back with a falling headbutt.
Davis goes for the pin!
Shallow: Matthews gets up and low blows Davis! Now Matthews takes Davis and
executes a cradle DDT on him!
JT: Matthews is gonna try to tag out to Extreme. Unless Davis can stop him.
GP: Well Matthews goes for the tag but Davis is up and tries to stop him.
Matthews is almost to Extreme but Davis grabs the leg of Matthews! Dane gets
one last reach and tags out to Extreme. Mike Extreme climbs in the ring and
stomps on the back of Davis! Extreme now picks Davis up and sends him into
the ropes. Davis comes back and Extreme catches him with a spinebuster slam!
Extreme is now yelling at the crowd. He is pumped here!
JT: Well Extreme picks Davis up and lifts him up. He holds him and drops him
on his head with a brainbuster! Extreme now makes the cover.
Shallow: Extreme gets up and drops an elbow on Davis. He then goes to the
corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle.
JT: He's climbing real slow though.
Shallow: Well he's a big guy.
GP: Extreme reaches the top, but Davis up and he racks Extreme on the
turnbuckle! Davis now climbs to the top turnbuckle as well and superplexes
Extreme from the top turnbuckle! Now Davis picks up Extreme and nails a
couple of forearms to the head. Davis then runs to the ropes and comes back
with a low dropkick to the shin of Extreme!
Shallow: He sends Extreme down to his knees. Now Davis climbs to the top
turnbuckle. He jumps off and nails a bulldog on Extreme from the top rope!
Davis goes and tags out to High Flyer.
JT: Flyer now comes in and nails a dropkick on Extreme...but it doesn't send
the big man down. Flyer gets up and gets another dropkick but Extreme is
still standing. Flyer gets up and goes for another dropkick but Extreme
catches him with a powerbomb! Now Extreme goes into the ropes and comes back
with a big splash! He makes the cover!
Shallow: Barely, barely, kicked out there.
GP: Well now Extreme picks up Flyer. He takes him and goes for a t-bone
suplex, but Flyer reverses and gets a jumping DDT! Now Flyer picks up
Extreme and sends him to the outside. Flyer goes into the ropes and comes
back and jumps over the top rope onto Extreme! High Flyer now pounds away on
the head of Extreme.
JT: Matthews has gotten off the ring apron though and grabs a chair. He
folds the chair up and goes over towards Flyer and Extreme. Dane rares the
chair back and clocks High Flyer in the head!
Shallow: But Davis has comes over and nailed a clothesline on Matthews! Davis
grabs the chair and starts to wail away on Matthes, but Extreme is up and he
nails a forearm smash to the back of the head on Davis! Now Extreme has the
chair and he pounds on High Flyer!
GP: Extreme picks up Flyer and rolls him back into the ring. Extreme climbs
on the apron and looks around to the crowd. Extreme pulls himself over the
top and nails a leg drop on Flyer! He makes the cover!
GP: Davis grabs the leg of Extreme and pulls him to the outside! Davis takes
Extreme and executes the Equalizer on Extreme! Davis tosses Extreme back
into the ring! High Flyer is up and makes the cover....while Dane Matthews
knocks out Davis!
JT: Dane comes in and breaks up the count! Dane picks up Flyer and sends him
into the ropes, but Flyer catches Dane with a spinning head scissors
takedown! Now Flyer rolls Dane to the outside! Flyer climbs to the top
turnbuckle. He raises his hand to the crowd! The fans are going nuts!
GP: Now Flyer dives off AND HE NAILS THE FLYING MOON SHOT ON MIKE
EXTREME!!!!! FLYER MAKES THE COVER!!!!
*DING DING DING*
Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and still IWO Tag Team
Champions.....High Flyer, Tony Davis,.....Team V.I.A.G.R.A!!!!!!!!!
("Loco" by Coal Chamber plays as Flyer and Davis celebrate with their titles
inside the ring.)
GP: What a win by VIAGRA! Fans, it's time for our next match!
North American Title Match
Stone's Last Chance to Prove Himself?
Michael Dudley -c- vs. Scott Stone vs. Syphon Fussion vs. Scott Linx
GP: Ladies and gentleman our next match is for the IWO North American Title!! It's between our current champ Michael Dudley, and 3 other challengers.. Scott Linx, Scott Stone, and Syphon Fission!! JT, who is your pick??
JT: Hmmm. .I'm gonna have to go with the man MICHAEL DUDLEY! He has a big name here in the IWO and I don't think Scotty Stone, Scotty Linx, or Syphon Fission have the talent to beat him!!
GP: And how about you Johnny Shallow??
Shallow: Hmm.. I am gonna have to go with JT and chose Michael Dudley..he's the veteran and he has the best talent out of all these wrestlers. If you can remember his BIG BIG win over Dane Wilt and Billy Larson just a few months back!!
GP: I don't think anyone has forgotten Johnny! And let's go back a year ago.. Scott Stone and his former Tag Partner Tyler Johnson were fighting Jason Nash and Titanic here at Heatstroke, and went on to win the match, and as for Michael Dudley.. well he was just winning the tag titles from Hostile Youth 2nd Coming as HY2 handed the titles down to the BHB. And as for Syphon and Linx.. they haven't been in the IWO that long.. so who knows what they were doing this time last year!
("Pretty Fly(For A White Guy)" begins to play..)
Ring Announcer: Coming to the ring first from Beverly Hills, California.. he is a former IWO World Champ and Tag Champ.. and current North American Champion...MICHAEL DUDLEY!!!
("Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down begins to play..)
Ring Announcer: Coming to the ring next from Scranton, PA...he weighs 240 lbs. and stands at 6'4", he is SCOTT STONE!!
("Stupify" by Disturbed begins to play as Syphon Fission comes out.. but Scott Linx is right behind him and nails him..)
*Ding, Ding, Ding!!*
GP: This match is underway ladies and gentleman!! Syphon and Linx begin to battle in the ring as Scott Stone is sittin there watching them.. he forgets about Michael Dudley and Dudley nails Scott from behind and knocks him to the outside!! Dudley is kicking away at Scott Stone as he grabs him and whips him into the guardrail!!
JT: Look at Linx and Fission battling it out! These 2 really really are gonna get hurt!!
GP: Well as we concentrate on those 2..Linx grabs Syphon and whips him into the guardrail, comes running off and Linx gets flipped over the guardrail!! Syphon stands on top.. and leaps off and lands on Scott Linx!! We go over to Stone and Dudley. Dudley grabs Stone and A PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! Stone is out!! Dudley climbs the guardrail and is going after Linx and Syphon Fission.. we see Syphon stomping away on Linx and here comes Dudley with a strong forearm smash and Syphon goes down.. Dudley is beating on Syphon Fission!! Here comes Scott Stone though!! He hops on the guardrail and jumps off into the crowd and lands on Dudley and a Scott Linx who was just about standing!! All four men are down and out!!
Shallow: Wow! This match is already exciting!! Scott Stone and Syphon Fission are going airborn!!
GP: Speaking of Syphon Fission he is the first one up following Scott Stone.. Stone grabs Syphon and throws him over the guard rail and Stone hops over as we see Linx and Dudley just getting up. Stone and Syphon throw punches at each other as they both make there way to the ring were the ref is finally ready and waiting.
JT: Remember...this is a elmination style match! REMEMBER THAT SYPHON AND STONE!!
Shallow: Shh! Your distracting them!!
GP: Stone and Syphon lock up as we see Linx and Dudley still battling it out on the outside! The ref goes to the outside as Syphon wins the lockup and does a quick DDT on Scott Stone!! He goes for the pin but there is no ref there!! Syphon notices and goes to the outside, grabs a chair.. he comes in the ring and times Scott Stone!!
GP: Stone is out cold!! Syphon whips the chair into the crowd and he yells to the ref!! He goes to pin Stone..1...2...THR! NO! Stone just barely kicked out!
JT: Damnit! We almost saw someone get eliminated quickly!
Shallow: Well Dudley and Linx will be eliminated real soon if they don't get there asses in the ring!
GP: The ref has now gone out side to take some order as he orders Linx and Dudley to take it into the ring! Linx swings at Dudley but misses and nails the ref!! This match has gone outta control!!! Linx notices what he has done and leans over to awake the ref.. Dudley grabs a chair and..
Shallow: Holy shit! He just nailed Linx twice in the skull with that chair!! Now both Linx and Scott Stone are bleeding from there head!! Back to the ring where Stone and Syphon Fission are still battling it out! Stone grabs Syphon and throws him over the top rope! Stone bounces off the ropes and jumps and lands right on Syphon Fission!!
GP: Stone leaps out of the ring.. and tell me JT.. what do you think of Scott Stone as of late? With big big wins over Syphon Fission twice, Capital Punishment, and Scott Linx.. what do you think of Scott Stone now?
JT: I think he has more potential than ever.. he is a better athelte than what he was a year ago.. but I still think he sucks..
GP: Well I think he's a young athlete that is turning into a overnight star! And if he wins tonight it will be the highlight of his long IWO career! And as we see Michael Dudley come over and axe handle smash Scott Stone!!
JT: HA! The highlight of his career was probably that minute he controlled the match! HAHA!
GP: Umm I don't think so JT..I bet he does really good in this match! Well as we look now we see Syphon Fission and Michael Dudley beating up Scott Linx and Scott Stone.
Shallow: Boy Scott Linx is taking one hell of a beating in this match..I doubt he is gonna win now!
GP: I dunno Johnny.. right now Linx is getting a little bit of energy!! Syphon goes to kick him but Linx catches his leg and throws him down with a take down!! He starts pounding away on Syphon Fission! Dudley see's this and Linx pushes him away.. Dudley gets back up and dives into Scott Linx's head and Linx just drops!!
JT: Ouch that had to hurt!!
GP: Yeah I bet it did!! Dudley grabs Linx and drags him into the ring!! Dudley back out and takes Syphon Fission...UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER! Syphon Fission is out!! Dudley takes Syphon Fission and drags him to the ring and now Fission and Linx are both out cold in the ring!
JT: Dudley get's out of the ring again and goes over to Scott Stone who is just getting up from the beating he was taking a few minutes ago. Dudley grabs him but Scott Stone with a cheap shot!! Dudley falls!!
GP: Scott get's up and hits Dudley with a big Axe-Handle Smash! And again! And again!! Stone picks him up and DDT on the outside!! Stone leaves Dudley alone and goes into the ring! He first grabs Scott Linx!! Whips him to the ropes and Stone with a clothesline on Syphon Fission!! He see's Scott Linx getting up and he kicks him in the stomach and Linx falls back down!! He grabs Linx and throws him to the outside!! Dudley see's him and grabs a chair!! The ref doesn't see him take it! Dudley walks over and with full force..
Shallow: Oh my god!! Linx just falls back!! Dudley throws the chair under the ring and goes back in!! He tells th ref and the ref will start the 10 count!! As the ref reaches 3 Dudley grabs another chair! He goes in the ring.. Scott Stone turns around and throws a punch at Dudley and it lands!! Dudley shakes it off and goe to hit Scott with the chair! But Scott ducks!! And.. IT'S SUICIDAL TENDENCIES TIME!!! HE HITS IT! DUDLEY IS GONNA BE ELIMINATED!!
JT: No he isn't!! The ref is still counting out Scott Linx!! He's on 8...9...10!! Scott Linx is eliminated!!
Eliminated: Scott Linx
Shallow: Now he has to over and count Dudley!! 1...2...THRE! NO!! HOW IN THE HELL!
GP: Michael Dudley just kicked out of the Suicidal Tendencies!! Syphon Fission get's up and he is climbing the top rope!! He leaps at Stone but Stone ducks and Dudley moves!! Stone grabs Dudley and throws him over the top rope!! He grabs Syphon Fission!! SUICIDAL TENDENCIES ON SYPHON FISSION!! 1...2...THR!! NO!!
JT: How did Syphon kick out!?!?!
Shallow: I dunno JT, but it sure isn't a surprise if its a Scott Stone move!!
GP: Well Stone is pretty pissed and he is now arguing with the ref! Wait, here comes Micahel.. he turns Stone around.. and a kick to the gut and a Diamond Cutter!! Stone is out! The pin! 1...2...THR! NO!! Stone just barely kicked out!
JT: Damn it! So close! So close!
GP: Dudley is flipping out! Here comes Syphon Fission and he nails Dudley and Dudley nails the ref by accident! Syphon grabs Dudley and whips him to the ropes...and a big boot to the face!! Syphon goes for the pin!! 1....2...THR!! NO!! Scott Stone flew off the top rope and landed on Syphon with a Senton Bomb!!
JT: Also known as "Stoned"!!
GP: Stone wakes up the ref! 1......2.....T-HR!! NO! SYPHON JUST BARELY KICKED OUT! And now Scott Stone can't believe it!
Shallow: This is one hell of a match!! Scott Stone, Syphon Fission, and Michael Dudley are the 3 men left and boy they are putting on one hell of a show!!
GP: I agree with you Johnny Shallow! Scott Stone and Michael Dudley lock up, Stone grabs Dudley and whips him into the ropes and Stone with a clothesline on Michael Dudley!! Stone quickly off the offensive attack and with a small leg drop on Dudley.. Stone leaves Dudley alone and grabs Syphon Fission, and throws him over the ropes!!
JT: Ahh c'mon Dudley get up get up!! Stone is going over to Dudley and he grabs him by the head to pick him up.. and Dudley with a cheap shot on Scott Stone!! Stone falls right to the ground. Hey wait.. Syphon is gettin up! DUDLEY..LOOK AT SYPHON!!
GP: Shutup!! Dudley does a slide tackle and nails Syphon was just about up outside the ring but Dudley connects and Syphon is out again!! Dudley goes back to Stone and lifts him up and sets him up for a powerbomb.. AND HE CONNECTS! Dudley is calling for the Black Thursday! He climbs the ropes and connects on Scott Stone!!
Shallow: Wait Syphon Fission is up!! Syphon Fission is up!!
JT: Dudley look!!
GP: Syphon comes in and nails Dudley with a steel chair!! The ref saw it but he isn't calling for the bell!?!?! Syphon throws the chair out of the ring and Syphon is now pounding away on Michael Dudley!!
JT: C'mon ref!! He just used a foreign object!!
Shallow: Where's Jamie when you need him.. god damnit!
GP: Syphon is now taking control of this matchup! He grabs Michael Dudley and throws him into the corner.. he comes running in and a Stinger Splash from Syphon Fission!! He climbs to the middle turnbuckle and is gonna do the ten punches to the head rutine! 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!!
JT: Wait there's Scott Stone behind him.. he hoists Syphon on his shoulders and Dudley climbs the top rope with whatever energy he has left.. he comes flying off to go for the bulldog but Stone moves on purpose and Dudley hits the mat hard, and Stone drops Syphon flat on his face!!
Shallow: Wait to take control Scotty Stone!! Stone picks up Syphon Fission..."SUICIDAL TENDENCIES" ON SYPHON FISSION!!! 1...2...3!! SYPHON FISSION IS OUTTA HERE!!
Eliminated: Syphon Fission
Shallow: Shit! It's down to the underdog Scott Stone and our champ Michael Dudley!! Scott Linx was eliminated by countout and Fission was eliminated by the "Suicidal Tendencies!"
JT: And not only that but it's down to two veterans that were fighting in this arena last year! Both in tag matches!!
Shallow: And what does that have to do with anything?
JT: I dunno I'm just tryin to make a point.
GP: Ok you guys enough. Stone waits for Dudley to get back in the ring as Dudley is tryin to find a way to get in without getting attacked...
JT: Why doesn't he just tell Stone to come outside.. HEY DUDLEY!! COME HERE! Hey, *whispers*tell him to come outside the ring!* Ok??......Good good.
GP: Well it's not like we didn't know what you told him JT! Cause Dudley is telling Stone to come outside the ring! Stone says no!! HAHA!! Dudley turns around and WAIT..STONE RUNS OFF THE ROPE AND LEAPS OVER AND LANDS RIGHT ON DUDLEY!!
GP: Stone is now pounding away on our North American Champion!! He grabs Dudley and throws him into the corner.. he runs and does a slide tackle under the bottom rope.. he trips up Dudley and he is gonna give him the Figure 4 around a ring post manuever!! He has it locked in and Dudley is screaming in pain!!
JT: C'mon ref break it up!
Shallow: Actually JT he can't.. it's a legal manuever!
GP: Actually Johnny.. he has five seconds to let go of the hold or its a automatic disqualification! So the ref starts the five count!! 1...2...Stone still not letting go..3...4...FI-I-I and Stone just let's go!! He hops back in the ring and is gonna destroy Michael Dudley's leg!! This isn't gonna be pretty!!
Shallow: Oh boy I agree Greg!!
JT: Stone starts to stomp away on the knee of Michael Dudley! HA that rhymed!
GP: HAHA! Stone picks up Dudley and sets up for a Russian Leg Sweep.. and he executes it!! He is going for another submission move!! He is going for...THE SHARPSHOOTER!! We have not seen this move here in the IWO in so long!! And Stone is using it on Michael Dudley!! Dudley is screaming in agony as he reaches the ropes!! Stone let's go of the hold and Dudley let's go. .he drags him back into the middle of the ring and he puts on the STF!! This is another submission move we have not seen in a long time! Will Michael Dudley submit!
JT: C'mon Dudley don't give up!!
Shallow: Wow look at him! He's screaming pain!! Scott Stone is really going bizerk here!
GP: Well if you watched the promo for this event you would have remembered.. "Scott Stone's last chance?" So he is really trying to prove himself right here right now!
Shallow: Scott picks up Dudley and is havin a hard time keeping him up....
JT: "SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!!" NOO!! SCOTT STONE IS GONNA WIN THE NA TITLE!!
GP: He's now goin up for the Senton Bomb!!
JT: Also known as "Stoned"!!
GP: AND HE CONNECTS! IT'S OVER IT'S OVER! We're gonna have a new North American Champion!!
GP: 1....2....3!! SCOTT STONE'S DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!
JT and Shallow: NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner...and NEWWW IWO NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION..SCOTT STONE!!
GP: Scott Stone has done it! He finally won the IWO North American Title!!
JT: Damnit! What the hell.
GP: Too bad JT!! Let's move on to our MAIN EVENT!!
World Title Match
Mall Brawl 2000
The IWO World Title
Al Coholic -c- vs. Vietnam Veteran vs. Nicholas Kain vs. LiGiL vs. Fugite vs. Rob Kestler vs. Capital Punishment vs. Evan Levine vs. Phyre vs. Michael Dudley
[The scene cuts to the back were we see Jamie and Evan talking about something.]
GP: looks like the bosses still have something up there sleves!
JT: I ALWAYS KNEW THEY WOULD COME BACK!
GP: Here we are!! The start of our Mall Brawl!! The 11 wrestlers are all inside Camp Snoopy and are ready for battle!! JT who do you predict to win this??
JT: Well, I'm gonna have to go with my man Evan Levine or Michael Dudley! The 2 true heels here in the IWO!!
GP: And how about you Johnny Shallow??
Shallow: Ya know.. something has never happened.. at the time of Mall Brawl.. the current IWO champ has NEVER walked out of the Mall Brawl still the champ.. last year ?¿? was the champ and he was beat out.. now this year Al Coholic tries to end that trend tonight and well, I think he will.. my pick is Al Coholic!!
Referee #1: Wrestlers ready??
(Everyone shakes there head yes..)
Refree #2: FIGHT!
GP: And we are underway!! Everyone immediately goes after Al Coholic!! Nicholas Kain, the Veteran, Michael Dudley, and Phyre all pounding away as Al falls to the ground!
Shallow: Oh come on this is not fair!! Ref do something please!
GP: HA! Sorry Johnny it's all legal! Fugite grabs Al Coholic and a Spike Piledriver!! He grabs him and throws him onto the Merry-Go-Round!! And Nicholas Kain is playing with the speed controls!! The Merry-Go-Round is flying! Al tries to escape but his arm gets cought on the bar you drop the coins in!! And you could here Al's arm snap!! He might have a broken arm!!
Al Coholic: AHH I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!!!
Eliminated # 1: Al Coholic
Shallow: WHAT?!?! Al??
GP: WHAT!?!?! LOOKS LIKE WE ARE HAVIN A NEW CHAMP TONIGHT!! Everyone notices that Al is gone and they all seperate!! The Veteran, Nicholas Kain, LiGiL, Fugite, and Rob Kestler all leave and go into Victoria Secrets while Cappy, Evan Levine, Phyre and Michael Dudley all go into Spencers! Umm what'ya say we go to Spencers!
JT: Spencers!??! Isn't that the store that sells Dildo's!?!?
GP: Yes it is!!
JT: And the exploding golf balls and the nude posters?!?!
GP: Yes that's Spencers alright!
JT: YES!! NUDY POSTERS! DILDO'S! AND EXPLODING GOLF BALLS!! YAY!!
Shallow: Nude posters!??!
GP: Alrgiht you two calm down! Cappy and Levine are fighting while Phyre and Michael Dudley fight! Dudley grabs Phyre and throws him into a shelf..Phyre screams in pain as a sharp metallic object stabbed him!! Wait. .Cappy grabs a Didlo and nails Levin with it! You can here the smack across the face!! He gets another dildo and whips it at Phyre and it nails him right in the head!! Dudley get's one thrown at him to but he ducks and Cappy breaks a glass container.. Dudley grabs a metallic object and whips it at Cappy nailing him in the stomach! Cappy loses his breath and falls to the ground!!
JT: Dudley walks over and picks up Levine.. he grabs him and slams his head off the shelf, everything falls and covers Phyre! Cappy barely up and comes running at Dudley! Dudley moves out of the way and Cappy runs into a shelf!
GP: Let's go over to Victoria Secrets now where we see Rob Kestler trying on guy thongs!
Rob Kestler: Hey Vet do I look good in this?? Or should I get silk?
Vietnam Veteran: Shutup and fight!
GP: OOH!! The Vet just punched Kestler in the face and Kestler drops! We move over and see Nicholas Kain slamming LiGiL's head off the dressing room and we see Fugite flirting with a sale's rep.
Fugite: So what's your name?
Hot Lady Sales Rep.: I'm yours.
Fugite: Ohh really.. well I lost my phone number can I borrow yours??
GP: Look out Fugite!! Nicholas Kain nails Fugite with one of those manikans!
Hot Lady Sales Rep: Oooo your cuter!!
Nicholas Kain: Wow you must have a keg in your pants cause I sure wanna TAP that ass!!
Hot Lady Sales Rep: Touch it if you want, I have a $4.99 Victoria Secrets Sheer Thong on underneith! It's black!
Nicholas Kain: May I see??
Shallow: Look out Kain!!
JT: Ouch! LiGiL just nailed Kain with a axe-handle smash over the head and Kain drops to the ground..you can see him looking under the ladies skirt!! I think he has a woody!!
GP: HAHA!! Well let's switch camera's to Olympia Sports.. there we have Evan Levine, Vietnam Veteran, and Fugite all gettin ready to battle it out!!
JT: Now this is one dangerous store!! They have skateboards, Ice Skates, Ski's, WEIGHTS!! This is gonna be one hell of a store to fight in!!
GP: Wel Levine finds Fugite first! He grabs him and whips him into a shelf full of rollerblades! The rollerblades all fall on top of Fugite!! But here comes the Vet and he has a weight in his hand!! He nails Levine right in the head and we see Levine fall right to the mat! And now we see Nicholas Kain running and he see's The Vet beating on Levine! Here comes Nicholas Kain!! He grabs a skateboard! He comes up The Vet, taps him on the shoulder..
Shallow: Oh my god! The Veteran was just nailed with that skateboard right in the face! The Vet falls down!! Nicholas Kain grabs a refreshed Fugite and throws him into a shelf full of sneakers! The sneakers all fall as we leave Olympia Sports and go to a near fountain where Rob Kestler is getting a drink of water..
JT: And he still has those freaky thong underwear on!! Here comes Phyre though and nails Kestler with a Ski!! Kestler screams in agony! Phyre grabs the ski and chucks it down 4 levels...
Some Guy: Ah what the fuck was that!?!?
GP: Well obviously he just hit someone with that ski! And we see Kestler running into American Eagle!!
JT: God damnit whats wrong with Kestler! There's no weapons in there!!
Referee #3: Umm Rob.. what are you doing??
Rob Kestler: I'm buying boots! I can't walk around in JUST a thong.. geez!
Referee#3: You have 10 seconds son to get those boots and run out of this store.. or else your outta here!!
Rob Kestler: SHIT! HURRRRY UPP!!
Refree #3: 1...2....3....4....5....6...4 more seconds Rob!!
(Rob Kestler see's the lady coming and runs up and grabs the boots, throw's them on without tying them and runs out the store.. but trips!!)
JT: HAHA! Rob just tripped!!
Shallow: Look now at Nicholas Kain, Vietnam Veteran, Phyre, and Michael Dudley! They are in The Cutelry!! Kain grabs a wooden chair and nails Phyre with it and Phyre goes down!! The pin!! 1...2..THR!! NO!! Phyre just barely kicked out!!
GP: Michael Dudley and the Veteran are once again going at it as The Vet grabs Dudley and whips him into the corner of The Cutelry!! The Vet grabs a lance and nails Dudley over the back with it and Dudley is in pain! You could still see him limping from his last match with Scott Stone!!
JT: Well The Vet takes that lamp again, and runs and nails Nicholas Kain with it! Kain falls to the ground and Phyre gets up and swings part of that lamp that just broke off at The Vet and The Vet falls and is out!! Phyre going for the pin!! 1...2..THR!! NO!! So close!!
Shallow: That was a close call there JT and The Vet is very reluctant! Phyre up and goes after Michael Dudley now.. Dudley and Phyre lock up and Phyre throws Dudley across the place and Dudley tripps over a couch!! We leave this to go to Circuit City Express were Cappy, LiGiL, and Rob Kestler are fighting!!
GP: Wow look at these 3 go at it! Kestler with a right hand to Cappy, LiGiL with a left to Kestler, Cappy with a right to LiGiL!! Cappy blocks a LiGiL punch, but Kestler nails him with a punch! LiGiL grabs Cappy and throws him into a ton of computers!! Kestler grabs a HTML for Dummies...
Rob Kestler: I bet Jamie has this book!! Oh and look, CGI for Dummies!! I bet he has the whole "...for Dummies" collection!!
GP: Good lord! LiGiL just nailed Kestler with a CD Burner! LiGiL is stomping away on our friend Rob Kestler! But here comes Cappy and nails LiGiL with a big speaker!! LiGiL falls right down! But who's entering now!?!?! It's Michael Dudley!! Dudley comes running in and grabs a T.V.!! He goes to hit Cappy with it but Cappy turns around and shoves it back in his face!! Dudley falls back and lands on a shelf full of Computers!! The ref goes over to Dudley to check up on him...he drops his arm once! Twice!! And a third time!! Dudley is elimnated!!
JT: DUDLEY GONE ALREADY!?!?
Eliminated #2: Michael Dudley
Shallow: We are now down to the Elite 8!! The Vietnam Veteran, Capital Punishment, Evan Levine, Nick Kain, LiGiL, Phyre, Rob Kestler, and Fugite! Fugite, the Vet, Cappy, and Kestler split into the Runkel Brothers American Garage!! Kestler gets a kite and wraps it around Cappy and starts laughing.. but here comes Fugite with a Unicycle swings it at Kestler but misses and nails the Veteran!! And Cappy and the Vet are on the ground!!
GP: WOW! Kestler goes at Fugite with a quick left hand and Fugite falls!! We now move on to the Food Court were Levine, Phyre, Nicholas Kain and LiGiL are all standing!
Evan Levine: Ya know Phyre, I wonder what those other 4 wrestlers are doing now..
Phyre: Shut up.
GP: OUCH! Phyre just threw a hot juicy steak from Stake Escape! Levine wipes it off his face and is pissed off!! Phyre starts to run and he runs into Oshman's Sports Superstore!! Phyre grabs the other ski.. the matching one that he threw!! He walks in and he swings at Levine but misses! Wait who is that behind him..
Man: YOU!! Your the one that hit me with a ski!!
Phyre: NOO!! It wasn't me!!
Man: Yes.. it was! You have matching ski!
JT: HA! That guy is huge!! He has that other ski in his hand!!
Shallow: If Phyre were smart he would run!!
Man: You! Get over here...NOW!!
GP: Oh my god!! That man just hit Phyre across the back with that ski, and the ski broke in half! That's 3 layers of fabric! Wood, plastic and P-Tex!!
Man: Evan Levine! Pin him! NOW!!!!!!
Evan levine: Sorry sirr...
GP: 1...2...3!! PHYRE IS ELIMINATED!!
Eliminated #3: Phyre
GP: We are now down to our final 7 men! Just get that list from a few minutes ago and subtract Phyre from it! We now go to Sears were Nicholas Kain, The Vet, LiGiL, Fugite, Kestler, and Cappy are all at...Levine is tryin to find everyone! In the sports department of Sears we have LiGiL and Capital Punishment, in the clothing we have Nicholas Kain, Fugite, and Rob Kestler, and the Vet is waiting by the entrance for Evan Levine!!
Shallow: Let's go look at what LiGiL and Cappy are doing! Cappy doesn't know that LiGiL is hiding on top of a shelf.. Cappy comes by were LiGiL is hiding, and LiGiL leaps off!! He knocks over 3 shelves while doing so!! And Cappy goes down!! Both men are out cold!!
JT: Our camera's switch to The Vet waiting for Evan and Evan is still nowhere near Sears..
Evan Levine: Hey man you see any IWO wrestlers??
Man #2: Umm. .not since they were in Victoria Secrets.. and tell me who was that stud wearing that thong?? It looked mighty fine!!
Evan Levine: Are you gay?
Man #2: Only if you want me to be..
JT: HAHA! Evan Levine just nailed that gay guy right in the face!! He see's the big Sears sign and starts running for it!! He's running real fast!! Wait he doesn't see The Vet! The Vet outta knowhere tackles Levine and starts pounding away on him!
GP: We cut to where Kain, Fugite, and Kestler are at!! Kestler nails Fugite and Fugite flies backwards!
Shallow: This is coming out to be one of the best matches in IWO
Who is gonna come out the IWO World champ??
GP: Look at this!! Fugite has Kestler thinking he's hurt..Kestler is
at some glass containers and Fugite gets up!! He grabs a big glass
GP: Oh my god!! Kestler just got nailed with that big glass container!!
Kestler is bleeding from all over!! Someone get the paramedics!! DAMN!
MAYHEM! That's the only way I can explain this! TOTAL F*CKING MAYHEM!
GP: DAMN! TOTAL MAYHEM! That's the only way I can explain this! TOTAL F*CKING MAYHEM!
JT: Sears has turned into a total MADHOUSE! Everyone is brawling is Sears!
Shallow: Let's see...Nicholas Kain and LiGiL are going at it, as are Rob Kestler and Fugite, and Capital Punishment and Vietnam Veteran!
GP: Fugite just delivered a low blow to Nicholas Kain! That will DEFINATELY weaken you! Fugite has Kain up...he slams him onto a bed on sale at Sears! Fugite is on top of the bedpost.... Kain MOVES! Fugite has broken the bed!
Shallow: Damn this is going to cost the IWO a lot of money.
JT: No sh*t.
GP: Capital Punishment and Vietnam Veteran, the veterans in this match, still doing battle. There battle has spilled over into Baggage's! Capital Punishment has two WM 2000 game covers! He claps them over the Veteran's ears! The Vet's head is definitely ringing right now!
JT: As we look into Camera 1, we see the two young guns in this match, Nicholas Kain and LiGiL going at it! Fans, we're going to try our best to keep you abreast of Mall Brawl, but it's just so damn hard with all this action going on! Anyway, Kain and LiGiL have just entered Footaction USA! Kain has the upper edge on LiGiL as of right now. Kain with a boot to the gut, and....POWERBOMB ON ONE OF THOSE BENCHES! Those benches people sit on to try on shoes, he broke it along with LiGiL's body!
Shallow: I think Kain is spending too much time jaw-jacking with the fans here at Footaction, because LiGiL is regaining his composure! LiGiL has a spray can sneaker shiner. He turns Kain around.... he sprays a load of it into Kain's face! Kain has been blinded! He can't see a thing! That may hurt his chances of winning this thing!
GP: We now look on at Camera 2, Kestler and Fugite going at it now! They are at Blockbuster Music! Kestler just irish-whipped Fugite into a stack of CDs! My GOD this is chaotic!
JT: DAMN KESTLER! HE JUST RUINED PERFECTLY GOOD 3 DOORS DOWN CDs! DAMN HIM!
Shallow: While Fugite is trying to regain his composure, Kestler takes time out to listen to some music. It seems like he's listening to....Michael Jackson?
GP: CUZ THIS IS THRILLLEERR! THRILLER NIGHT!
JT: Damn Greg. Didn't know you had it in you.
GP: Yeah...well...BACK TO THE MATCH! While Kestler is listening to Michael Jackson, in the background, we see Capital Punishment and Vietnam Veteran going at it! Capital Punishment has The Vet in a gorilla press! My GOD! His body is over a balcony! MY GOD! THE VET WAS TOSSED OVER A 75 FOOT BALCONY MY CAPPY! GOODNIGHT VETERAN!
Shallow: But wait....what is Cappy doing?
JT: MY GOD! CAPPY IS ON TOP OF THE BALCONY! DOES HE REALIZE HOW HIGH UP HE IS?!?
GP: HE'S 75 FEET IN THE AIR! HE LEAPS! MY GOD! HE LANDED ON TOP OF THE VET! GOOD LORD! THE REF COUNTS: 1......2.....3! THE VET IS OUT!
Eliminated #4- The Vietnam Veteran
Shallow: MY GOODNESS! THE VET MAY HAVE INTERNAL INJURIES AFTER THAT ONE! This could be the end of his career for good!
JT: Well, Capital Punishment isn't faring too well either. Holding his ribs, he's looking for someone on the lower level to take on! And he just found someone! Evan Levine! From behind attacked Capital Punishment! Hold up...I'm being told we must shift to Camera 3!
GP: Nicholas Kain and LiGiL are at Chick-Fl-A now! Nicholas Kain and LiGiL are behind the counter now!
Shallow: Uh-oh...somebody's gonna get hurt BADLY!
JT: That's what the IWO is all about, right?
GP: That's right! Nicholas Kain now shoves some chicken in LiGiL's mouth. And LiGiL spits it right back in Kain's face! LiGiL now....OH MY GOD! HE STUFFED KAIN'S FACE IN THAT CHICKEN GREASE!
Shallow: GOOD LORD! KAIN'S FACE HAS GOT TO BE FEELING LIKE S*IT!
GP: We'll check back on Kain and LiGiL later. Right now we're going to check in with Evan Levine and Capital Punishment. Right now they're at Spencer's! Cappy just picked up a glass lamp and crashed Levine's head over it! Damn this is wild!
Shallow: Cappy just stole someone's CD player! He just bashed Levine's head with it!
JT: But wait! From behind! Look! It's Rob Kestler!
GP: Rob Kestler has a baseball bat! We just NAILED Cappy with it!
Shallow: Obviously he's been at Wall's Sports!
GP: Levine comes to. He covers....1......2.....3! Cappy is gone!
Eliminated #5- Capital Punishment
JT: Now left are LiGiL, Nicholas Kain, Rob Kestler, Evan Levine, and Fugite! Who's going to come out on top?
GP: So far, only the Good Lord knows...
Shallow: Speaking of Fugite, where the hell is he?
(We go to Camera 1. We see Fugite at Friedman's Jewelers. He's looking at some watches.)
Fugite: Hmm....these watches are looking MIGHTY good...I'll take these please.
Jeweler: Fine choice, my man, fine choice...
GP: WAIT! NICHOLAS KAIN AND LiGiL! Their fight has spilled into Friedman's Jewelers!
Fugite: Sorry, buddy, but you don't wanna see this fight!
JT: FUGITE JUST DECKED THE JEWELER! Fugite now has that Rolex around his knuckles! Here comes Nicholas! Down he goes! LiGiL tries his luck! He goes down too! Both men stagger up! Both men get clotheslined! Fugite is in firm control here! Fugite has Nicholas Kain...HE JUST THREW KAIN THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW!
Shallow: That's gonna be expensive!
GP: HELL YEAH IT IS! NICHOLAS KAIN IS NO STUNTMAN FOLKS! KAIN IS CUT ALL OVER!
JT: And lif LiGiL thought he was going to get away with punishment, he's dead wrong! Fugite has LiGiL......POWERBOMB THROUGH THE JEWELER'S DESK!
GP: Damn...first being Powerbombed through the bench at Footaction...now this!
Shallow: Yeah. Poor guy.
GP: Now we're going to see what's up with Evan Levine and Rob Kestler! Evan and Rob have left debris all over the Mall of America! Now they're at Bath & Body Works!
JT: Evan Levine just let the shelf of soap fall on Rob Kestler! It just towered him!
Shallow: It seems like Evan is in control right now! He lets Rob Kestler up. He throws a bar of soap at him....KESTLER CATCHES IT AND THROWS IT BACK AT HIM! LEVINE GOES DOWN! Kestler drags Levine to the bath tub...and they have water in the tubs! Oh no!
GP: Kestler has Levine up....NO! Levine catches him with a headbutt to the gut....BACK BODY DROP! KESTLER FALLS INTO THE TUB!
JT: And look at Levine! He jumps in! He's trying to drown Kestler! MY GOD! Levine dunks Kestler!! But here comes Nicholas Kain!! He jumps in and lands right on Levine! Kestler gets up and they are all battling it out in a bath tub HAHA!!
GP: This is sickening!! LiGiL and Fugite are beating each other into an oblivion in Macy's!! Fugite grabs a few coat hangers and whips LiGiL!! LiGiL is screaming in agony! Fugite throws the hanger and they are now in the Electronics department of Macy's!! Fugite grabs a CD, rips it open and has a hold of it!! He swings at LiGiL and.. HE SLICED HIS ARM OPEN!! LIGIL WITH A DEEP CUT ON HIS ARM!!
Shallow: Eww!! Look at it!! The skin is like hanging off!! LiGiL is holding his arm in agony!! Fugite grabs LiGiL and throws him onto a couch and LiGiL just lays there bleeding!! Someone get the paramedics here!! QUICK!!
GP: Fugite is now looking for Nicholas Kain! He goes into Bath and Body Works and see's that Kestler is playing with a rubber ducky in the bathtub!!
Fugite: Rob..what the fuck are you doing?
Rob Kestler: Playing with Herman Sputnick.
Rob Kestler: *Pointing at Rubber duck* HERMAN SPUTNICK!!
Fugite: Your sick! And where did Nicholas Kain go??
Rob Kestler: What's that Herman?? Oh.. Herman said Nicholas is looking for you.. like right behind you!
GP: OHHH! Nicholas Kain obviously was at the home and garden section as he just nailed Fugite with a shovel!! He grabs Herman off of Rob Kestler and flings it across the Mall!! Rob with a serious look on his face gets up and nails Kain in the face with a right fist, then a lift, and he grabs him and a REVERSE DDT ON THE CONCRETE!! The pin!!!! 1....2....THR!! NO!! KAIN JUST BARELY KICKED OUT!!
JT: Kestler looked really really angry just then! Kestler grabs Fugite and body slams him to the concrete floor.. Kestler is now looking for Evan Levine!! Wait there's Fugite behind him!! Kestler turns around and Levine nails him with a bike crank!! Kestler falls!! Evan now stomping away on the funny man Rob Kestler!
Shallow: Levine is really pissed and really really wants to win this match! It's a dream of his!
GP: Well that dream might just come true tonight Johnny Shallow! Levine picks up Kestler and lays him on a weight bench.. he picks up the bell-bar and HE DROPS IT RIGHT ON ROB KESTLER'S CHEST! ROB KESTLER GASPS FOR AIR AND PASSES OUT!! That could have just collapsted Kestler's lung's!!
Shallow: What are you thinking Levine!?!?!
JT: That's the Real Heel baby!!
GP: Rob Kestler is bleeding from the mouth as Levine goes to pin him!! 1...2...THRE!! NO!
JT: WHAT THE F*CK!?!?! KESTLER KICKED OUT!!
GP: And Levine can't believe it!! He is flipping out at the ref!! But wait.. here comes LiGiL who's arm is all bandaged up with a leather skirt! He grabs Levine from behind, kicks him in the gut and a DDT!! LiGiL is on a rampage as he is looking for Fugite! He see's Fugite getting ready to get up and LiGiL pulls out a CD!! He swings at Fugite but he ducks! He swings again but Fugite dodges it..LiGiL kicks Fugite in the nuts and he slices his forehead right open!! Fugite just falls over and lays there. .and LiGiL flings the CD!!
JT: These people are insane! They are practically killing each other!!
Shallow: The local hospital is gonna be busy tonight!! I know almost every IWO wrestler has taken a trip there besides these men ..simply cause they aren't done wrestling yet! But I know damn well LiGiL, and Fugite are going there.. and Rob Kestler!! Nicholas Kain and Evan Levine have yet to get a serious serious injury on themselves!
GP: Well you mighy have just jinxed them cause now Kain and Levine are going at it again! Levine grabs Kain and whips him out of Macy's and into the hall.. they are throwing punches and connecting with left and rights.. these 2 men are really really pissed off!! They both reach Deck The Walls and Evan takes a picture off the wall.. AND HE SMASHES IT..GLASS AND ALL..OVER NICHOLAS KAIN'S HEAD!! Kain falls down!!
JT: Damn you Shallow..you jinxed Nicky Kain!!
Shallow: Oh well..
GP: Now we see LiGiL tryin to find Evan Levine.. he walks into Deck the Halls and REALLY gets decked by another picture.. and LiGiL falls down and he and Kain are out cold!! Levine leaves Deck The Halls for the Pro-Wrestling shop!!
Evan Levine: Excuse me sir but do you carry any IWO equipment??
Clerk: Sir we carry all the latest.. we have "Goopy the Monkey", The Kansas City Kid, The Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid, and even a autographed picture.. just signed last night by Ken War!!
Evan Levine: Latest?? First off Goopy hasn't been seen in months, The K.C. Kid retired after LAST YEARS Mall Brawl, HIT is a Geometry teacher, and Ken War died like 4 months ago dumbass!!
Clerk: Oh. Well I could get you a Mad Max trading card!!
GP: Wait that's Nicholas Kain behind Levine and he nails him with a steel chair that was smashed over HHH's head!! Kain goes for the pin on Evan Levine!! 1...2...THRE NO!! Kain is now on a rampage as he is looking for Kestler and Fugite whom are battling it out in The Yankee Candle Store!! Kestler is getting the candles and throwing them at Fugite, Fugite tries blocking them but Kestler just throws to fast!!
Kestler: Come on Fugite.. whats a matter to slow to catch em?? AHHAHAHA!!
JT: Kestler look out behind you!! NOO!! Kain just nailed Kestler with a BIG BIG Yankee Candle! And Kestler falls.. Kain stares down Fugite and he charges at him.. Fugite stops out of the way, Kain stops behind Fugite, and superkick from Nicholas Kain executed on Fugite!
GP: What a move!! LiGiL now moving on into Barns and Noble with Evan Levine following him, and Nicholas Kain making his way there as we put our "electronic map" out! Kestler is just getting up and Fugite is out cold!!
Shallow: This is turning into a IWO Classic!! I can't wait to see who comes out the winner of this!!
JT: I still think the Real Heel is gonna win it!!
Shallow: Well my pick is gone. .so I'm saying Rob Kestler or Evan Levine!
GP: Well let's just find out! Levine grabs Nicholas Kain as all 5 wrestlers are now in Barns and Noble!
Rob Kestler: Hey is there any sales rep's in here.. and I wonder if Jamie is in here looking for the new "DHTML For Dummies Part 88/1,000"
JT: Kestler is really a ball buster tonight as he STILL has that damn thong on!!
Shallow: I think you like it JT!!
GP: HAHA I think he does to! HAHA! Well let's look at the opposition.. Levine and Kestler are in Barns and Noble, Nicholas Kain, LiGiL, and Fugite are all in Spencers gifts fighting. were we will go now!! Back to Spencers!! Boy this place is a mess from before! Fugite grabs LiGiL and throws him into the corner, but Nicholas Kain comes running and grabs a poster of a naked Jenna Jameson and smashes it over Fugite's head!!
JT: God damn these people! They are always trying to kill each other!
GP: Well JT, they are fighting for the most prized possession in the sport! The IWO World Title! What would you be doing right now??
JT: Havin sex with Jenna Jameson...
GP: Oh geeze. Well Kain grabs LiGiL and throws him over the desk.. he grabs one of those lighters and some lighter fluids and tries lighting LiGiL on fire but LiGiL pushes it away and the lighter goes flying! LiGiL punches Kain in the face, hits him in the gut and a scoop slam onto the counter!!
Shallow: Fugite is getting up! He LiGiL and throws him right through the glass front of the store!! And LiGiL is out and bleeding very badly!! The pin on LiGiL!! 1....2....THR!! NO LIGIL KICKS OUT AGAIN!! What is LiGiL made out of?? Yes!
GP: Well LiGiL really really wants that gold around his waist!! He is a young tough competitor!! We now move to Barns and Noble were Kestler and Evan Levine are fighting!! Kestler grabs a big text book and smashes it across Levine's face!! Levine now just starting to bleed as he is bleeding from the nose!! Levine grabs a staple gun! He is shooting staples at Evan Levine! HAHA!!
JT: Child games.. grow up Kestler....
Shallow: HAHA! I find this amusing!!
GP: Well JT doesn't so I dunno what to tell you Shallow. Kestler grabs Levine and whips him into a book shelf as the books fall on top of Levine! I wonder how much money we are gonna owe the Mall of America.. last year the bill was really really high!!
JT: Yes it was.. but this year there's twice as much damage!
Shallow: Well Jamie will tell me.. I'll inform you guys as soon as I find out!!
GP: Gee thanks. We now move back to Spencers were Fugite and Nicholas Kain are gone.. they are going into Victoria Secrets!! AGAIN! Kain walks in and tries to hit on the lady again, but Fugite pushes him away.. but the lady laughs and brushes them off!!
Fugite: You dummy! You see that! You just made her lose interest in me!
Nicholas Kain: In you?? Man what about me? She liked me way more than you!! *Shoves Fugite*
Fugite: Don't push me bitch! *Shoves Kain back*
Nicholas Kain: NOW IT'S ON!!
GP: And Kain spears Fugite to the ground...this isn't now wrestling match anymore! This is a fist fight!! Kain has the upperhand as he is unloading on Fugite!! But Fugite rolls him around and he is now unloading on Nicholas Kain!! Kain gets up and grabs Fugite by his shirt and hangs him on a underwear rack! He grabs a leather garter belt and is gonna whip Fugite with it!! He starts to whip him!!
Nicholas Kain: WHO YO DADDY!! WHO YO DADDY BITCH!!
Fugite: I give..I DON'T GIVE UP!!
GP: Fugite shouldn't have dont that!! Now Kain is taking harder and more angrier strokes!! Fugite's body is all red and bleeding!!! This is sickening!! But wait...here comes LiGiL!! He comes in, grabs the last manikan and smashes it over Kain's head!! Kain collapses and LiGiL helps Fugite down, only to set him up for a piledriver!! AND HE CONNECTS!! The pin!!! 1...2...THR!! NO!!
Shallow: Let's go over to Barns and Noble were Rob Kestler and Evan Levine are still battling it out!! This is one hell of a match!!
GP: Kestler and Levine are still battling it.. Kestler keeps throwing books at Levine while Levine tries to get a clear cut shot at Kestler...and wait.. oh no he almost had it! Kestler throws one.. Levine catches it and throws it back at him nailing him right in the nuts!!
JT: Ohhh Kestler falls right down!! HA now he won't be laughing anymore!!
GP: Kestler gets picked up by Levine, Levine scoops him and hoists him high above his head and drops him right down!! Kestler is out cold!! Levine goes for the pin!! 1...2...THR NO!!
JT: Damnit how'd he kick out!!
Shallow: I dunno but he sure had a big gust of energy!
GP: Well that's maybe all Kestler will get.. wait no Levine is sitting on a chair getting a breather.. what is he doing!?!? He's letting Kestler gain his energy!!
Shallow: Personally Greg I DOUBT Kestler is gonna get his energy back.. simply cause he had weights dropped on him earlier in this match! So I dunno!!
JT: Well Kestler is on one knee tryin to make his way up.. and he is up but a little bit wobbly. .he gets up bleeding from his mouth and the top of his head. .looking around for Evan Levine!!
GP: These 5 wrestlers are beaten, bruised and battered!! They all deserve a whole shit lode of credit!!
JT: Levine slams Kestler into the stand for the four Harry Potter books! My lord! Some of the younger children watching this spectacle have begun to cry!
Levine: Oh come on! They're just books! Kids like you shouldn't be reading anyway! Shouldn't Mommy be teaching you how to free base?
GP: Levine is just brutal! Let's catch up with what is going on with Fugite, LiGil, and Nicolas Kain.
JT: Wow! All three men are battling it out in the middle of a Victoria Secrets store! Kain and Fugite are laying the boots to LiGil who is wearing a teddy over his wrestling uniform for some reason!
Shallow: SWEET! It may have taken hours of waiting but we finally got to see a wrestler forced into wearing a silk teddy! Who needs hardcore wrestling action when you've got entertainment like this!
GP: Kain picks up LiGil and whips him into the side...no, quick reversal! LiGil sends Kain into the A cup bra holder! Little Asian women are running away everywhere!
Shallow: You figure it's because of seeing LiGil in a teddy or from their bras getting cooties from Kain?
JT: Probably neither. But you never know. Fugite grabs Kain and begins to rub his face into the floor. He slowly picks Kain up...blinded by LiGil! LiGiL picked up a bargain rack and nailed both men with it! Kain and Fugite are out!
GP: LiGil grabs Fugite and drags him out of Victoria secret...He throws him into the Wizards of the Coast store!
Shallow: Now THAT'S convenient placement! Putting Victoria Secrets right next to a store for 12 year olds! But I'm saddened that we won't get to see women's under garments now.
(Shallow makes a sad puppy dog face.)
JT: Fugite with a kick up from the ground hitting LiGil in the stomach! Small package cradle by Fugite! 1...kick out! Fugite to his feet. He's going for a case of Star Trek adventure game cards! LiGil grabs onto the Magic the Gathering stand next to him...It's a stare down.
GP: Fugite acts first as he throws a bunch of starter packs at LiGil! LiGil is countering with some Booster packs! It's a literal food fight of sorts. Chucking cards back and forth!
(Some guy dressed as Spock walks up.)
Spock guy: Come on guys. Why take out your frustrations on our poor little store? Please my friends, you can handle this civilly. Live long and prosper.
(The guy grabs onto his fingers and spreads them out into the Vulcan symbol.)
Shallow: What's this joker doing?
GP: Wait! Kain from behind! Tilt a whirl into a spin buster on the Spock wanna be! How odd. Kain runs into Wizards of the coast and grabs the table of Pokemon cards and joins in on the fighting between LiGil and Fugite.
JT: Man, Kain is really laying into everyone with those packs of Pokemon cards! This is crazy! He's even nailing some of the customers in his rush to get those things airborn. LiGil get Kain with a pack to the forehead! Kain is pissed!
GP: He's dropped the cards and....running lariat onto LiGil! They begins to roll on the floor and exchange blows. Fugite just continues to pelt both of them with cards! Good move on Fugite's part in a way. He's in the spotlight but yet not exchanging blows so he's giving his body a rest.
JT: Smart at least until the other two realize that he's pelting them with cards!
GP: That's true too. Wait! Fugite isn't waiting any longer! He's joined in on the battle! Fugite grabs LiGil by the hair and pulls him into the hallway. Where is he taking LiGil? It looks like they're going for the food court! This could be trouble.
Shallow: The only trouble in the food court is if you're actually stupid enough to pay three bucks for a pop! Face it, they don't know what's going on!
JT: LiGil breaks free and the two begin to exchange blows. LiGil grabs Fugite and throws him over the counter at the Great Steak Escape!
Shallow: Poor immigrant workers now have to deal with wrestlers too? Good thing they work for pennies or else that would break some kind of fair employment act.
GP: Whatever Shallow. Good lord! LiGil is trying to shove Fugite face first onto the grill! Reversal by Fugite! Elbow to the gut followed with a reverse Russian leg sweep. Kain is running onto the Scene!
JT: Flying cross body by Kain onto Fugite! He picks up LiGil and throws him out onto the main area of the food court! LiGil is stumbling on his feet...FATAL FACIAL! FATAL FACIAL ONTO LiGiL by Kain! The cover! 1........2......3!!!
GP: Good effort by LiGil as we're down to 4 men! Nicolas Kain and Fugite here and Evan Levine and Rob Kestler. In fact, let's check in with Kestler and Levine in Barnes & Noble.
(Camera switches to Barnes and Noble which is completely trashed.)
Shallow: Fitting, Levine spears Kestler through the homosexuality section of the store! The IWO is the home of homophobia so what better to see than 2 sweaty men in tights rolling around on top of piles of gay literature?
GP: Let's concentrate on the real action here.
Shallow: Are you saying that gay literature doesn't contain action?
GP: Oh come on now Shallow.
JT: Evan puts a half crab submission on Kestler. He's really wrenching it on! Wait! Kestler is able to power out! Levine releases the move!
GP: What's Evan going for? NO! Levine has grabbed a pot of coffee from the in store coffee shop! Kestler had better watch himself. Kestler's up and Levine turns...Kestler grabs a copy of Sex for Dummies and hits the pot back into Evan's face! Levine is down!
Shallow: Hey Greg, Sex for Dummies. A subject your lacking on and in a form you can understand!
JT: Oh lord. Give it a rest Shallow. Kestler is on top of Levine and pounding him in the face! Levine is trying to block off the punches with his forearms. Wait...Kestler is stopping. What is he doing?
(Kestler walks over to the one remaining standing shelf and it happens to contain his own book on it. One copy is missing from the pile.)
Kestler: Come on peoples! We need to keep this store properly upkept and stocked now. This display should be stocked up again so that it's pleasing to the eye. Golly, you would think that they've never had to deal with selling an unauthorized autobiography of Rob Kestler.
GP: Kestler should be thinking about this match and not product placement! What a tard muffin! Levine has gotten the coffee off of his face...running bulldog onto Kestler through the display! They've completely destroyed this place! Levine pulls Kestler to his feet and sends Kestler out of Barnes and Noble.
JT: Both men are brawling once again as they makes their way down the escalator....OH MY GOD!!!
GP: LEVINE WITH A CLOTHESLINE KNOCKING KESTLER DOWN TO THE NEXT FLOOR! THAT HAD TO BE AT LEAST A 15 FOOT DROP! I DON'T KNOW IF KESTLER IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO CONTINUE!
Shallow: At least that's one less person we have to worry about.
GP: At least you have human feelings.
Shallow: Damn skippy.
JT: Evan is just looking at Kestler sprawled out on the concrete below as he goes down the escalator. What?! We have to switch back? Damn it!
(Camera shows Nicolas Kain and Fugite throwing each other around an old navy store.)
GP: Kain grabs Fugite. Cradle DDT. He now going for a Texas cloverleaf like submission hold. He's pulling back on it! Fugite is on the verge of tapping! He's reaching out! Wait! He grabs a porcelain statue of the Old Navy dog and hits Kain with it! Kain releases the move!
JT: Kain is reeling. Fugite to his feet. What's he doing? He's got the cargo pants off of the shelf...he using the ropes on the pants to choke out Kain! This is vicious but not a vicious as that fall by Kestler. Levine is a cold blooded bastard! Fugite lets go of the choke and is searching the store over for something.
Shallow: Maybe he is looking for Ben Verine?
GP: We're all looking for Ben Verine.
JT: Kain stumbles to his feet. And Fugite is...looking at tech vests? Kain runs towards him! Drop toe hold by Fugite! That was the most obvious attempt at playing possum in the history of the great practice of playing possum! Fugite is locking in the Stasis! He's got Kain's neck and he's pulling back hard! This is BRUTAL! He's not tapping! Kain is out cold!
GP: Fugite is letting go. Fugite with the cover....1........2.......3!!!! Fugite pulls it out! Three men left, three men left! Fugite looks to be getting a bit of a rest here now as Levine and Kestler are battling it out.
(Camera switches to Levine pulling Kestler up off of the concrete.)
JT: Kestler is trying some weak punches at Levine but he's still heavily out of it after that fall. Levine with a short handed gut buster on Kestler. This should be over. Levine should end this soon. Levine is got Kestler back to his feet. He's got Kestler in the air. This is a good show of strength as Kestler has probably 50 pounds on Levine. He's got Kestler in position for his Conceptual Perfection move!
GP: This is going to be it! Levine signals! Kestler is starting to struggle...INVERTED DDT REVERSAL BY KESTLER! THAT WAS AMAZING! LEVINE'S SKULL HIT HARD ON THE FLOOR! BY ALL RIGHTS BOTH OF THESE MEN SHOULD BE DEAD NOW!
JT: Both men are just laying on the ground. Hardly any movement at all. Kestler is starting to move towards Levine. It looks like Kestler is putting Levine into an arm bar submission hold. He pulls back and Levine taps? Well, it was a hard fought battle. There wasn't a better man here, just a more fortunate one! And then there was two! It's down to Rob Kestler and Fugite. Now both men will meet in Camp Snoopy in the middle of the first floor. This should be interesting.
(Rob Kestler is helped to his feet by some EMTs as is Evan Levine. Kestler walks down to the first floor. The camera switches to Fugite standing in the middle of Camp Snoopy. Kestler stumbles onto the scene, collects himself and walks and stands face to face with Fugite.)
GP: Dear god folks! This is all that's left! Rob
Kestler and Fugite stare each other one on one in the
middle of Mall Brawl!
JT: Kestler probably doesn't even know where he is...
(Kestler hugs the big giant inflatable Snoopy, as
Fugite just stares at him with widened eyes.)
Shallow: Fugite is getting very angry about this whole
situation! The world title is on the line, and Rob
Kestler is humping Snoopy!
JT: I don't think he's humping him... but Fugite
doesn't really care.
Shallow: Fugite immediatly grabs Kestler from behind,
and pushes his face even further into the big gigantic
GP: Fugite tosses Kestler down to the cold marble
floor, as Kestler immediatly grabs at his back. Fugite
goes right for the kill with a splash, but Kestler
rolls out of the way!
Shallow: Kestler rolls up Fugite, 1-2-NO! Fugite
pushes his body weight out of the pinning predicament.
Fugite gets up, and grabs Kestler by his hair and
GP: Dear god! Fugite just tossed Rob Kestler through a
department stores glass window! I think that was Pizza
Hut, inside the Camp Snoopy Food Court!
JT: Kestler is broken in half! Fugite with the cover,
1-2-NO! Kestler gets a shoulder up!
Shallow: This is for the big prize JT, he's not giving
up that easy, whether or not Kestler knows what the
big prize is, he's not giving it up to Fugite, that's
GP: Fugite can't believe that Kestler, after all that
has happened tonight, is still alive after that huge
shot! Fugite grabs Kestler, and begins to throw him
out of Camp Snoopy. They are heading into the West
Wing of the Mall!
Shallow: Fugite is pounding away at Kestler, as Fugite
climbs up the benches inside the Mall! Fugite has
Kestler, and nails him with a huge tornado ddt off the
GP: Kestler is down in the West Wing, as there is a
cover, 1-2-NO! Kickout! Barely gets the shoulder up as
Fugite can't believe it.
JT: Fugite is heading into San Francisco Music Box
Company store, as we all know what he has in store.
Kestler is trying to regain his senses, as Fugite
walks out of the store with a guitar in hand!
GP: Fugite with a big windup, and Kestler moves out of
the way! Fugite busts the guitar onto the bench, as
Kestler grabs Fugite, and with the top half of the
guitar, hooks it for a strong russian leg sweep!
JT: Wait! Look! Kestler seems to have some infatuation
with a store called Mary Engelbreit?
Shallow: That doesn't seem like a provacative name!
JT: I don't think that matters with Kestler.
GP: Kestler is heading into the store, and he seems to
be... trying on dresses as we speak?
JT: Don't ask me, I just report it.
Shallow: Fugite regains his senses, and his wind, as
he asks the referee to know where Kestler went. Fugite
just stares annoyingly as he heads into Mary
JT: KESTLER JUST PUT FUGITE IN A DRESS! HAHAHA!
GP: Fugite is enraged, and immediatly spears a
laughing Kestler off a ladder! Fugite just speared the
ladder down, as Kestler landed right onto a table of
women's sweators! Kestler doesn't seem to have taken
much of the fall, well, at least that table didn't
give at all!
Shallow: Fugite is choking Kestler with that sweater,
as he rips off that dress that Kestler made him put
on. Fugite is irate, as he drops an elbow. Another one
right across the neck of Rob Kestler.
JT: Fugite isn't fun and games, he's all business.
Kestler on the other hand probably doesn't even
realize that there's a match going on right now.
Shallow: Fugite grabs Kestler and begins to drag him
out of Mary's whatever and whatever. Fugite sends
Kestler into one of those mini-carts filled with
pretzels and food. Fugite goes back inside the music
shop, as Kestler is regaining his senses.
GP: That's not all Shallow, he's gaining himself a
soft nacho cheese pretzel!
JT: There's always time for food, and I guess Kestler
is a firm believer in that.
Shallow: Fugite heads out of the Music stand with the
guitar in hand, but Kestler is nowhere to be seen.
Fugite is mad as ever, as he begins walking down the
hall. He doesn't realize Kestler was in the car,
making a pretzel!
GP: And there Kestler is, just waiting for his
pretzel. Kestler grabs it, and begins to chow down.
JT: Boy is Kestler a fast eater!
GP: Wait! Kestler sees Fugite, and races down the
hall! He nails Fugite from behind, sending him into
the Sunglass Hut! Sunglass go flying everywhere!
(Kestler is grabing a pair of sunglasses, as he puts
them on his head. He shakes his head, and grabs
Shallow: Now what in the hell is he doing!
GP: I think he's going for that modern day Cow Life
Look, but these shades just do a number on the size of
your face. Kestler's finding that out, not finding a
pair he likes.
JT: Kestler has just burried Fugite under a pile of
sunglasses, as Kestler takes a left down the hall.
Does he even know where he's going?
GP: Kestler is wandering down a storeless hall, I
don't think he's really supposed to be back there to
Shallow: Fugite is stiring under the pile of
sunglasses as the referee urges him to get to his
GP: Fugite gains his ground, as he begins to wander
down the same hall Kestler just went down. Fugite
takes a right turn again, heading down a new hallway.
JT: Wait! Kestler's over there talking on the public
Kestler: Yeah Mom! I've got a real good shot at
winning the World Title tonight... YES I CHANGED MY
UNDERWEAR! I know... it does feel good.
GP: Wait! Fugite doesn't see Kestler on the phone!
Kestler nails Fugite in the back of the head with that
Kestler: Mom... I'll call you back.
(Kestler hangs up the phone, as he grabs Fugite, and
throws him into the female bathroom.)
GP: Wait... Kestler grabs Fugite, and tosses him
straight into the sink! Head first bounces Fugite off
the porcelain sink.
JT: Kestler grabs Fugite and catches him up in the
air, SPINEBUSTER IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!
Shallow: Kestler is climbing up top on the sink? What
the hell is he doing?
Kestler: I AM SINK MAN!
GP: KESTLER WITH A DIVING ELBOW ONTO FUGITE OFF THE
JT: Kestler with a cover, referee in position, 1-2-NO!
Fugite barely got a shoulder up!
Shallow: Kestler grabs Fugite, and goes to throw him
into the bathroom door, but Fugite reverse it, sending
Kestler through the door and onto the bathroom toilet!
JT: Haha! Kestler's on the john...
GP: That's not very funny... more childish than
Shallow: Kestler is trying to get up, as Fugite slams
the door right down onto Kestler once more! Kestler
gets back up to his feet, as Fugite does it again!
JT: Kestler doesn't seem to know when to quit, does
Shallow: I guess not.
GP: Fugite grabs Kestler, and picks him up over his
head. He drops him with a side vertical suplex onto
the long one place sink. Kestler is sincerly lying on
top of a sink!
JT: Fugite turns the sink water on! He's going to try
to drown Rob Kestler!
Shallow: Fugite has the cover while Rob Kestler is
submerged in water, 1-2-NO! Kestler somehow got out of
JT: I can't believe it myself. Kestler could hear that
GP: Don't bother asking me... Fugite is irate himself.
Kestler is getting under the skin of Fugite time in
and time out. Fugite grabs Kestler, and throws him out
of the women's bathroom.
Shallow: Finally. Maybe we'll see something really
GP: Fugite nails Kestler with a huge clothesline,
sending the door crashing open, and Kestler falling to
the outside parking lot.
JT: Man! Look at how huge that parking lot is, and how
empty it is!
Shallow: Fugite goes right after Kestler, who leaps up
over Fugite. Kestler lands on his feet, as Fugite
stops in his tracks. He reaches behind and catches
Kestler, right into a neckbreaker!
JT: Right onto the cold hard concrete... How did these
men get out of the building Greg?
GP: What am I! The Main Official! That's Larson's job,
and for all I know, he could be dead!
Shallow: Or recieving everlasting pleasure head from
JT: Awh man... Larson is so the man!
GP: Would I remind you two that we are in the waning
moments of Mall Brawl? And I think I see Fugite
argueing with the referee about god knows what. While
that's going on, Rob Kestler is shimming up the drain
pipe! He's headed to the top of the Mall of America!
Shallow: That idiot realizes he's going to fall over
and kill himself, right?
JT: Fugite turns around, and starts up chasing after
GP: This is like one of those old high school races,
to the top of the rope climb!
Shallow: Not really Greg... but both men seem to have
superb rock climbing skills.
GP: Fugite caught up to Kestler, and he's trying to
grab Kestler's foot! They are about twenty five feet
up in the air, with nothing but concrete down below!
Fugite is trying to throw Kestler off of the side of
the Mall of America!
JT: But, technically they can't win it unless it's
inside the Mall, am I right?
JT: OH! Point for me!
GP: Kestler brings his body up onto the roof, as grabs
Fugite in a side headlock! KESTLER WITH PURE STRENGTH
GRABS FUGITE AND PULLS HIM UP IN A SUPLEX FASHION TO
JT: But Fugite lands on his feet to the side of
Kestler. Fugite with a swift side kick knocks Kestler
down on the roof, of the Mall of America!
Shallow: That was desperation! Fugite is down,
clutching his chest. Both of these men have endured
battles that will live on in imfamy for the rest of
these days to come!
GP: Fugite is slowly getting to his feet, as he grabs
Kestler onto his shoulders! He's going for Lost time,
but Kestler wriggles free, and nails Fugite with a
JT: These two are dangerously high! I mean, these two
are fighting four stores up in the air! That's how
high this Mall is!
Shallow: Kestler grabs Fugite, and kicks him in the
gut. He double underhooks him... going for the Call
from beyond! NO! Fugite won't let him, picks Kestler
up onto his shoulders... LOST TIME! WAIT!
(The roof collapses, sending both men flying into the
multiplex on the fourth floor.)
GP: Oh..... My...... GOD!
JT: FUGITE JUST BROKE THE MALL!
Shallow: I can't believe it! Fugite just sent himself
and Rob Kestler through the roof of the Mall of
America! Fugite is dead! Rob Kestler is dead, and that
couple next to them seem to not even notice!
GP: I can see the rubble from the rooftop, just
scattered all around the movie theater. Rob Kestler is
lying on top of Fugite, as two twelve year old boys
come into the theater...
Boy #1: Hahaha, you know what would be funny?
(The boy whispers into the other boys ear.)
Boy #2: Do it!
Boy #1: No, you do it!
Boy #2: Come on, I do everything...
Boy #1: Alright...
GP: Wait... what are they doing?
(The boy goes over to Kestler, whereas the boy grabs
Kestler's hand and puts it onto Fugite's posterior
end. The boys snicker off.)
GP: Well, I guess there are people in the mall!
JT: Hey, I just had my theory Greg!
Shallow: What was that?
JT: That the IWO just hijacks the Mall of America by
breaking in, they don't actually allow us in...
Shallow: Nice theory, fits Jamie nicely.
GP: You want to lose your jobs? If you don't, I
suggest you two quiet your mouths! Fugite is starting
to stir, unbelievable, but he is. Fugite draps an arm
across Kestler's chest... but there's no referee!
JT: Yeah, a referee would climb to the top roof of the
Mall of America, and follow them down from the Lost
Time! Get real Greg.
Shallow: Well, even though Fugite executed the move,
Kestler really landed full tilt onto Fugite, causing
Fugite to be in just as much pain as Rob Kestler right
GP: Well, in any case, Fugite should rightfully be the
world heavyweight champion! He had Rob Kestler down
for the count!
JT: Fugite is getting to his feet, realizing that the
referee may have cost him the title, we have a new
referee, heading down to the theater as we speak,
since many are just positioned throughout the mall.
Shallow: That doesn't allow Fugite to become World
champion, does it? NO!
GP: Fugite did have Kestler beat, but he's not getting
the world belt right now. Fugite grabs Rob Kestler,
and hammers him with right hands. Fugite grabs Kestler
and tosses him right through the movie screen! Kestler
just went flying through the screen into the giant
JT: Fugite grabs Kestler once more, as they begin to
battle up the stage and out of the theater. I think
they're going down a leval to the third stage of the
Shallow: Fugite just tossed Kestler off the elevated
struction down to the third stage! Man! Kestler barely
stayed on the level. Imagine if he fell straight down
into Camp Snoopy!?!
GP: Fugite leaps down himself, as he nails Kestler
back down with a double ax-handle smash from the top
leval to the third leval! That's a good ten feet leap!
JT: I've been better... I can do better too... because
Shallow: Fugite grabs Kestler and tosses him into
Caribou Coffee shop! Fugite layes Kestler onto a
table, as Fugite is climbing up the counter!
Kestler: OOH! Free Expresso!
GP: KESTLER MOVES! FUGITE GOES FLYING THROUGH A TABLE!
JT: And Kestler drinks coffee at a time like this?!?
Shallow: There's the referee! If Kestler was smart,
which we all know he isn't, he would just pin him
Kestler: Hey Ref! This Expresso is great! You should
GP: And now the referee is getting his own expresso.
JT: The IWO's going to die.
GP: Howso JT?
JT: Well, we either have Mr. Serious boredum dude in
one corner, or we have the complete opposite, but yet
again, he's the biggest goof in IWO history!
Shallow: Fugite is slowly regaining his senses, as
Kestler throws a cup of expresso onto Fugite! But
Fugite feels nothing, as the cup must have been cold
coffee! Fugite grabs the coffee machine, and BREAKS IT
OVER KESTLER'S HEAD! Fugite drops down, the referee
puts his expresso down, 1-2-NO! Kestler gets a
GP: What in Sam hell is it going to take to keep one
of these men down!
JT: Fugite is angry, as he grabs Kestler. He takes him
out to a railing, but Kestler grabs Fugite, and
crotches him right onto the metal hand railing!
GP: OW! That's got to hurt, as Kestler works over
Fugite. Kestler, what balance, stands up on top of
that metal railing. A slip either way, and it could
mean the end of someone's career!
JT: Kestler with a double underhook on Fugite...
(Kestler and Fugite fall off the side, as a quick
camera change shows them landing right on top of the
huge air filled Snoopy.)
GP: CALL FROM BEYOND! RIGHT OFF THE RAILING AND ONTO
THE SNOOPY! THAT HUGE INFLATABLE SNOOPY IS NOT
DEFLATING! Kestler is hammering away at Fugite with
Kestler: I LIKE MIDGETS!
(Kestler jumps off the falling down Snoopy, and heads
over to the Nine West Store. He grabs out Nicholas
Kain's new "Make-O-Matic," as he begins to produce
wave after wave of midgets, dwarves, and elves.)
GP: Dear god! Rob Kestler has about twenty midgets,
dwarves, and elves attacking Fugite on an inflatable
Snoopy! Now I've seen everything!
JT: Wait, Fugite is getting up, and grabs one of the
dwarves! He begins swinging him around, knocking down
other midgets and dwarves and the such.
Shallow: What the hell!
GP: IT'S VAGROND!(Cheap Pop) Vagrond is devouring the
JT: I think Kestler forgot to feed Vagrond while
preparing for this matchup! Dear god! I don't think
that thing chews!
Shallow: Kestler quickly gains to his feet and tries
to stop Vagrond's rampage. He's run out of midgets and
JT: Fugite is up, and knocks down Kestler from behind
with a dwarf!
GP: And Vagrond eats the dwarf right out of Fugite's
hands! Fugite goes for a wild right to Kestler, who
ducks it, full nelson by Kestler, no, Fugite ducks
free out if it, and grabs Kestler by his arm, whipping
him into the "Sox Appeal" Shop set up in Camp Snoopy!
Kestler: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME DO THAT! Stopping
Vagrond from eating is one thing, but destroy Snoopy!
Shallow: Fugite catches Kestler right in the jaw with
a huge kick, and now knocks Kestler down with a huge
GP: I can't even see Kestler right now... and
Fugite... he's going to tip over Sox Appeal! Sox
Appeal was just tipped over and landed right on Rob
JT: Now that must have knocked the wind out of you...
Fugite: NOW TALK YOU LITTLE PRISSY BOY! Come on you
moron! TALK SOME TRASH NOW!
GP: VAGROND TACKLES FUGITE! VAGROND JUST TACKLED
JT: SOMEBODY GET THAT LIZARD OUT OF HERE!
Shallow: I don't think that's going to happen, but
here come the officials, heading down to break up
Vagrond. They are going to take Vagrond out of here.
GP: But Kestler is still under that Sox Appeal booth!
Fugite could have the match won right here, but there
isn't a referee in site to count it!
(All of a sudden, Billy Larson comes from nowhere,
tipping back over Sox Appeal. Kestler grabs at his
JT: Larson just took that Sox Appeal off of Kestler's
GP: Well, he's trying to be fair, and that wouldn't be
to fair to lose like that, would it?
Shallow: No rules Greg Parker... No rules means
JT: Wait! Fugite grabs Kestler and throws him into the
rollar coaster ride! Fugite boards on himself, and
begins to pound him with rights and lefts.
GP: That rollar coaster just took off! Kestler and
Fugite are battling up top a moving rollar coaster!
Shallow: Fugite seems to be having the better of the
exchange Greg. Kestler is just lying there limp,
holding onto his midsection.
JT: Kestler charges with a desperation shoulder block,
but Fugite side steps... and KESTLER CATCHES THE SIDE
OF THE CART! DEAR GOD!
GP: Kestler should have fallen off, it's luck that
saved him right there!
Shallow: That was the wildest thing I've seen!
GP: Look at Larson! He's just staring up, as Fugite
has a huge smile on his face!
Shallow: He could be the next World Champ Parker, of
course he's happy!
JT: JUST STEP ON HIS FOOT FUGITE! DON'T TAUNT THE MAN!
(All of a sudden, the cars come to an abrupt halt,
forcing Fugite flying forward onto the car front.)
GP :WAIT! FUGITE AND KESTLER ARE HANGING ON FOR DEAR
JT: AMERICAN GLADIATORS! AMERICAN GLADIATORS!
Shallow: KESTLER WITH A SWIFT KICK! FUGITE FALLS OFF
THE CART! HE LANDS HARD ON THE COLD MARBLE FLOOR!
GP: KESTLER HAS NOWHERE TO GO! HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING...
BUT HE FALLS! HE LANDS DIRECTLY ON TOP OF FUGITE WITH
A HUGE SPLASH, AND HOLDS HIS MIDSECTION HARD!
JT: YOU HAD THE PIN YOU MORON! STAY ON TOP OF HIM!
GP: The fans are rallying behind Kestler! We are in
his hometown for god sakes!
Shallow: Larson has the 10 count started... what a way
to end the pay per view.. no one wins! NO WORLD
GP: EVAN LEVINE! EVAN LEVINE JUST NAILED BILLY LARSON
WITH ONE THE GOD DAMNEST HARD CHAIR SHOTS I'VE EVER
HEARD! LARSON IS DOWN! HE'S OUT!
Shallow: Levine is grabbing the referee shirt off of
Larson's back, and puts it around his neck. I guess
you can wear a referee shirt like that! He's starting
his own count, as Fugite is slowly getting to his
JT: Fugite has the match won! Kestler must have busted
his own self with that leap!
(Levine kicks Fugite in the gut and nails Conceptual
GP: WHAT IN THE HELL!
JT: LEVINE JUST NAILED FUGITE WITH CONCEPTUAL
PERFECTION! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
GP: LEVINE JUST COST FUGITE THE WORLD TITLE! QUIET
(Kestler rolls over and draps the arm over Fugite.)
GP: COVER! LEVINE! 1-2-3! DEAR GOD! ROB KESTLER JUST
WON THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE... with the help of
Shallow: I don't think I see it happening! Kestler and
Evan do NOT get along!
(Levine goes over to the fall Larson, and pulls out
the IWO world title from his gym bag. He helps Kestler
up, and hands him the title.)
GP: Kestler is looking up at Levine, I don't think he
realizes what just happened!
(Kestler shakes Evan Levine's hand, and hugs him right
in the middle of Mall Brawl.)
JT: I guess Kestler wasn't as stupid as I thought!
GP: ROB KESTLER IS HUGGING THE MAN HE CALLED GAIM TYME
ON NUMBEROUS OCCASSION! THE MAN WHO WAS HE BUTT OF HIS
EVERY JOKE, is now his alli?!?
(We fade out of Mall Brawl, into the Target Center in
the backstage area where Psycho Jay is going haywire
in his dressing room. He's destroyed pratically
everything in there as he hurdles a bench across the
Psycho Jay: WHAT THE HELL! GOD DAMNIT! I knew he had a
soft spot for shiny things, but THAT'S MY WORLD TITLE!
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LOST IT! AND TO THINK HE JOINED UP
WITH EVAN LEVINE OF ALL PEOPLE!
Vincent: THAT'S MOTHER FUCKEN MESSED THE FUCK UP.
Psycho Jay: That guy can't outspell a spelling bee!
What the hell is Kestler on! GOD DAMNIT!
(Jay grabs the camera off the Cameraman's shoulders,
and smashes it against the wall. We fade back into the
Mall of America, where Rob Kestler is celebrating with
Evan Levine still.)
GP: Fans it has been one hell of night and I for one am glad to see it over!
JT: We did see it all .. who can ask for more out of a PPV?
Shallow: Could have had more of me in it!
GP: Well, fans for JT and
[[All of a sudden "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland starts to play! The fans boo as VP William and Commish Tom make there way out to the ring!]
GP: Here we go again!
JT: YEA THE NEW BOSSES!!
Shallow: IM all for it if it ant John I like it!
GP: Well Williams got the stick!
William: Well fans I hope you enjoyed MY SHOW!!! I for one thought it to be a winner!!! Took us a while to get to were we wanted to be ..but we got there!! And now that Jamie and Evan are out of the picture the IWO will run much much better .just how John would have wanted it!
William: So with that said and done I would like to congratulate Rob Kestler on a match well done and I hope you enjoy that belt for the time you have it because come HT it will be with Dudley!
[Fans boo again]
GP: That ant right
JT: Shhh the boss is talking!
William: Now ..
[All of a sudden "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses starts to play and Jamie along with VP Evan come out!]
William: Jamie! Come to surrender?
Jamie: Hardly William .Ive come for one and only one reason!! To take back what is ours!! THE PPV AND THE IWO!!
William: Really .Do you think your words will hold up in court?
Jamie: William I ant talken about court im talken about your ass IN THAT VERY RING!!!!
[Jamie drops the mic and along with Evan rush the ring! Both get in and the board is going at it!!!]
JT: AHHHH THE BOARD IS GOING AT IT!!! THE WORLD IS OVER AS WE KNOW IT!
Shallow: DON'T HURT JAMIE!!!
GP: William has Jamie and ..Oh! Kidney punch!! This isn't a wrestling match it's a fight!!!
Shallow: Can no one bring sanity to the board?
[All of a sudden the lights flicker and go out the fans are going nuts as smoke fills the rung and the building!!! Two spot lights hit the stage as "Take the Power Back" By Rage Against the Machine starts to play! The fans go nuts as someone in a ?¿? mask walks out on to the stage!!]
GP: IT CANT BE!!!! MY GOD MY GOD!!!
JT: Oh lord!
Shallow: YES HES BACK!!!! THEY MYSTEROUS ONE!!!!
[The man in the ?¿? runs down to the ring gets in as the lights come back! All the board members in the ring stop and look at him!]
JT: Don't he look a bit too big to be ?¿?!
Shallow: Now that you mention it he does look bigger!
GP: The man dressed in ?¿? mask looks at the board members with dead eyes .he then puts his head down and runs at all 4 of them in the ring!! The man in the ?¿? mask pulls out a black bat and points it at each board member! William shacking pushes Tom out at him!! Tom gets nailed by the man and knocked out!!! VP Evan and William both jump the man but are pushed away and then taken out by the bat!!! Jamie stands alone in the ring with this man!!
JT: HAHAHAHA, KILL HIM!!!
Shallow: NO! NOT JAMIE!!!
GP: Jamie backing up as the man in the ?¿? mask gets closer!!! All of a sudden Jamie turns and runs .NO!!! THE MAN HAS JAMIE!!! He pulls Jamie into the ring and .OH!!! Hits him in the gut and now the head JAMIE IS OUT!!!
JT: Who is this guy?
Shallow: Hes got some balls!
GP: The board lie on different sides of the outside as the man in the mask stands in the middle!! He drops the bate and starts to take off the mask!!
JT: WE'RE FINNALY GOING TO SEE WHAT THE MYETERIOUS ONE LOOKS LIKE!!!
Shallow: I don't think its him He was never soo big!!!
GP: Hes took off the mask!
JT: WHO THE HELL IS THAT!!?!?!
GP: I have no idea! hes asking for the mic .lets give it to him!
::The large beast of a man stops and stares at the audience whom has no clue of his name or origin. He pulls his long black hair back in to a ponytail and is handed a microphone. He begins pacing around in the ring.::
Unknown Person: None of you know who I am....but at the same time...most of you know me. My name is Trent McFarlane. You might not recall.....so I will explain......I'm sure your all quite familiar with the name.....Phelen Kell...
::Crowd errupts into cheers.::
Trent: Well Phelen Kell, is my mentor...he trained me....he showed me what to do. Shortly after I first debuted in the IWO some months ago...which seems like an eternity ago....after Phelens retirement...he realized that I simply wasn't ready for the ring yet...which I will agree....I wasn't. Its the plain honest truth. So....during this time away...I lived with Phelen...and I trained...Phelen bought out the Hostile Youth Gym which he, Ashton Cain, and Dane Wilt all had shares in...and we all moved into a huge mansion on the outskirts of Chicago. Phelen had a huge mansion built with the money he got from the movie "Phelens War". There we continued my training...and I found some interesting things...which have altered my life completely. I found a fondness for Death Metal...and Black Metal music...and I've made quite a style change...which you'll notice in time.
Trent: I'm quite far off from the shiney shirt wearing, tan skinned, bleach blonde, happy go lucky buffoon I once was...which explains to you why you had no clue who I was. How I've grown. Anyway....now that I've explained myself....its time to explain why I am here.
::Trent walks to another side of the ring.::
Trent: I've watched the IWO from afar. And I've seen how it has changed. And I've watched Jamie Kosoy and Vice President William feud for power....and quite honestly...if they continue on with this power struggle, then the IWO will simply crumble, and a dynasty will end. ........I can't let that happen. SO....I am here...to keep together, what kept my mentor together during his bad times. I owe him this much. So Jamie Kosoy....William....Evan.....I will be watching you...I will be watching you all. Don't mess up something that has made a difference in so many peoples lives....don't mess up a thing that means so much to many. Because if you do, the price you pay will be heavy. I promise you that...I promise you that. I'm not the bad guy here...I'm watching out for something I care deeply about. But if need be, I will show my evil streak...do not force me go to peak that level.
::Trent drops the microphone and walks out of the ring and through the audience.::
GP: TRENTS BACK!!!!!
JT: With out Kell .
Shallow: MY GOD!!! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK THE SAME!!
GP: Fans were out of time!!!
JT: Oh damn took long enough!
GP: For JT and Johhny Shallow I'm GP thank for joining us and tune in for HT on Friday!!!
JT: GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!
[The scene dies out with Trent walking though the fans and Evan, Jamie, William, and Tom all standing around the ring with there jaws wide open!!!!]