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Dia Del NiŮo 2000


*The following is intended for a pay per view viewing audience. If you do not like Mature subject matters then please do not read*

(The words "Internet Wrestling Organization" appear on screen. Suddenly, a crash of thunder is heard and they light up in the IWO logo blue flame. The flames linger a moment, then fade out...)

("King for a Day" by Goldfinger plays over the Arena Mexico as the crowd springs to life. Fireworks go off everywhere. The crowd screams on and on and on for 5-10 minutes before they finally die down enough for the announcers, JT, Greg Parker (GP), and Johnny Shallow (Shallow) to speak.)

Shallow: Recepción cada uno a Dia Del Niño!! Tenemos una gran demostración para usted esta noche... tan muchos grandes emparejamientos en este acontecimiento!

GP: Eso correcto! Cada uno de Dudley contra Larson contra se marchita a Rogers uno en uno con Silencer, y todo mientras tanto!

JT: Ummm...guys?

Shallow: I can't wait to get underway! This crowd is electric!

GP: El primer emparejamiento es alrededor comenzar...

JT: GUYS!?

Shallow & GP: QUÉ?!

JT: You're speaking in Spanish!

Shallow: We're in Mexico you dumbass! They speak Spanish here!

GP: Yeah, get with it!

JT: But we're broadcasting to the American and English fans! Those guys over there are broadcasting in Spanish!

(The camera switches to two Mexican guys smiling and waving at the camera like lunatics. It then switches back to the American/English announce table.)

GP: Oh.

Shallow: *pouting* I was having fun too!

JT: You two babies...what would you do without me?

GP: Have fun?

Shallow: Jerk.

JT: Sorry! Sheesh, God forbid we let the fans understand what the hell is going on!

GP: Alright...well, lets start over and try this again. In English. Ok?

Shallow & GP: Ok.

Ike Rogers v. Silencer

GP: What a way to kick off Dia Del Nino! Nothing excites me more than
seeing two newcomers in IWO, fighting their hearts out to earn a respectful
spot in IWO!

JT: Nothing makes me sicker than rookies in an IWO ring! I mean, it's
the same ring Dane Wilt graces for God's sake! They don't even deserve
to breathe the air he breathes let alone wrestle in the same ring he
does!

Shallow: This may surprise you, JT, but at one time, Dane Wilt was a
rookie.

JT: He was not!

Shallow: Was too, JT. Even he had to start somewhere.

JT: Well....Dane Wilt's different. He's the Super Heel. He's the man
that made Hostile Youth. He's the motherfu*king man!

GP: Anyway, we're gonna kick off Dia Del Nino with two youngsters with
great potential! What are your thoughts Shallow?

Shallow: Like I said on my Real Audio show, both men are a great new
addition to the IWO. It's a toss-up really, but just for the hell of
it I'll go with Silencer.

GP: I dunno...I think I'll go with Rogers. JT?

[JT is nowhere to be found.]

GP: JT? JT!

Shallow: Calm down Greg. JT left a note.

[It says the following:]

"I don't give two s*its about these damn rookies! They can all kiss me
where the sun don't shine for all I friggin care! I'm going to the back
to take care of some personal business. -JT"

GP: What "personal business" could JT of all people have to take care
of?

Shallow: Probably means he's gonna try and pick up some chick.

GP: Maybe, well, with no futher adieu, let's get this match started!

[Camera gets a bird's eye view of the capacity crowd at Dia Del Nino,
then focuses on the entry way.]

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentleman this is the opening match for Dia
Del Nino, LIVE from Mexico City, Mexico!

[Crowd cheers.]

Ring Announcer: Introducing first...

["Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock plays as Ike Rogers comes out.]

Ring Announcer: He hales from Swanton, Ohio, weighs in at 265 pounds,
and stands 6'6 tall. He is the master of The Vindicator TKO, ladies and
gentleman, "The Vindicator" Ike Rogers!

[Ike Rogers enters the ring as he gets a nice pop from the crowd.]

Ring Announcer: His opponent...

["The X-Files Theme" plays as Silencer makes his entrance.]

Ring Announcer: He hales from Los Angeles, California, weighs in at 265
pounds. He is the master of Silenced, here is SILENCER!

[Silencer enters the ring with a nice pop from the crowd as well.]

*DING DING DING*

GP: Here we go! The first match of Dia Del Nino is underway. Rogers and
Silencer lock up. Rogers wins the tie-up with a headlock. Silencer sends
him to the ropes, Silencer connects with a shoulder block. Silencer hits
the ropes, Rogers hits an AMAZING frogleap, Silencer hits the other side
and nails Rogers with a dropkick!

Shallow: Rogers comes back with a kick in the gut and hard, hard, rights.
Rogers has him in the corner. With vengance, Rogers kicks Silencer in
the gut. Followed by the 10 right hands of doom!

Crowd:
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!

GP: Silencer is weary after those punches! What is Rogers gonna do now?

Shallow: Rogers grabs Silencer by the hand. He's climbing the turnbuckle!
Rogers leaps...ARMDRAG!

GP: Wow! a 265-pounder pulling off a move like that! What a athlete!

Shallow: Once again, disproving JT's theory that rookies aren't worth
anything here in the IWO.

GP: Speaking of JT, where is he?

[Camera cuts to the streets of Mexico. JT is trying to pick up some chick.]

JT: Hey bebé, cómo combate vamos hasta mi apartamento y hacemos amante
dulce?

Woman: Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

[JT walks away]

Woman (to her friends): Adelantado, consigamos lejos de este monstruo!
 

[Back to the action]

Shallow: Hey, I didn't know JT was bilengual.

GP: Yep, he's been cussed out in 54 different languages. It's in the
Guiness Book of World Records.

Shallow: Learn something everyday I guess.

GP: Back to the action ladies and gentlemen, Rogers is taking full control
of this match. He has Silencer neutralized in the corner. He has him
in the Tree of Woe. Rogers rushes in.....DROPKICK! Silencer feels the
effect of that one. He takes Silencer down....into the ropes...Clothesline
ducks...FOREARM by Silencer! Silencer picks Rogers up....CRUCIFIX! SILENCER
HAS ROGERS IN A CRUCIFIX! ROGERS IN PAIN! THIS COULD BE IT!

Shallow: Rogers flips out.....now it's SILENCER IN THE CRUCIFIX! NOW
IT'S SILENCER IN PAIN! SILENCER FLIPS OUT....LOW BLOW BY SILENCER! Followed
by a DDT!

Cover:
1..........

2..........

NO!

GP: Not quite enough. DAMMIT! We understand something's going on in the
back!

[It's Nikki and JT. Nikki has JT all tied up. They come out to the entrance
way. Crowd cheers. Nikki sits him down, then ties him to the chair. Nikki
leaves to the delight of the crowd.]

GP: So how's it going JT?

JT: Hmmmmmph!

Shallow: Cool. Silencer PUTS ON THE SILENCED! THIS IS IT Y'ALL!

Cover:

1............

2............

NO!

GP: Rogers kicked out! The man kicked out!

JT: Hmmmmmmmph!

Shallow: I like this kind of JT. Rogers calls for his move....VINDACTOR
TKO! AND NAILED IT!

Cover:

1..........

2..........

3!

Winner- Ike Rogers

GP: Rogers wins it! Both men put on a great showing!

Shallow: Yeah, both men have great futures in the IWO!

JT:Hmmmmmmmmph!

TV Title Match
Falcon v. J.C. Maliboo v. Sam Potright
GP: TV Title Match!

Shallow: Falcon, Sam Potright, and J.C. Maliboo!

JT: Falcon all the way baby!

Shallow: Hmmmmm.....I'm going with Sam on this one. He has the most experience.

GP: I like Sam as well. Let's go to the ring!

Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and
it is for the IWO Television Championship! (cheers) Introducing first...

[Sam Potright comes out.]

Ring Announcer: From Parts Unknown, weighing 207 lbs....SAM POTRIGHT!

[Sam Potright waves his I/C Tag Title in the air for all to see.]

Ring Announcer: His opponent....

[Surfin' USA by Beach Boys plays as J.C. Maliboo comes out.]

Ring Announcer: From Keywest, FL, weighing 249 lbs..J.C. Maliboo!

[J.C. Maliboo comes to the ring and makes surfing poses.]

Ring Announcer: His opponent.....

[Falcon comes out.]

Ring Announcer: From Kansas City, MO. weighing 220 lbs...the IWO TV Champion...FALCON!

JT: I wonder if he likes the ATL Falcons.

GP: Maybe.

*DING DING DING*

Shallow: And this match has begun. Maliboo and Potright double-teaming
the TV Champion.

GP: They send him to the ropes....DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

Shallow: And Maliboo clotheslines Potright! No friends in a three-way
dance folks!

JT: Indeed not...Maliboo goes up top...way too early for this...MAYBE
NOT! DOUBLE CROSSBODY! He covers both men!

1............

2............

NOT EVEN CLOSE!

GP: Look! They knocked him out of the ring!

Shallow: Now Potright and Falcon duking it out! What a brawl!

GP: Falcon picks up Potright....OVER HIS HEAD.....GORILLA PRESS!

Shallow: WATCH YOUR BACK FALCON!

JT: Too late for that warning Johnny, Maliboo got Falcon with a Missle
Dropkick! Maliboo now has Potright...Fireman's Carry...into a DDT!

Cover:

1..............

2.............

FALCON MAKES THE SAVE!

Shallow: Falcon protecting what may not be his by the end of this match,
that being the TV Championship.

JT: Falcon has Potright in a half-crab! Potright may submit! NOPE! Maliboo
prevents any of that with a right hand!

GP: Maliboo goes up top! Calls for High Tide! NAILS IT! We're gonna have
a new TV Champ!

1...........

2...........

POTRIGHT MAKES THE SAVE!

GP: Potright digs in his pockets...HE HAS BRASS KNUCKS! HE SIGNALS HE'S
GONNA NAILS POTRIGHT!

Shallow: Doesn't succeed! Falcon gets the knucks! He nails Potright!
Nails Maliboo! He puts Maliboo on top of Potright!

JT: He signals for the Steel Claw! NAILS IT ON BOTH! COVERS BOTH MEN!

1..............

2..............

3!

Winner- Falcon

GP: What a match!

JT: What are you talking about? That blew!

Shallow: Yeah, that was a suckfest.

GP: Yeah, I must admit, that was sorry. I hope the next match is better.

United States Title Match
Evan Levine -c- v. High Flyer

GP-Well fans we welcome you to the United States title matchup here tonight!!!!!!!

JT-Yeah yeah yeah!  This one will be like a dog crapping in the house on a Sunday morning, it always happens, and nobody likes it!  So my point of view these two wrestlers dont even deserve to be here in this matchup!  My View exactly!

Shallow-Weeeeeeell i think that this match will be an IWO great as we have high flyer who has held numerous titles, and Evan Levine who has also held titles!  But when it comes down to it I'm gonna go with High Flyer!  Just look at the guys technique!  He can literly almost do everything, and has done alsmot everything in the company of IWO!!

GP-Look at Levine on the other hand!  He took out the a very respected man in a match for the United States title, and that man being Al Coholic!  So when you look at Levine he can over come obsticles and he can pull off the big win, just to show you he is a great upcoming superstar!  And there is no doubt about that either!!

JT-And what i think, watch out for the pin to drop in this arena!  The crowd won't be into this thing!  These two guys in my book aren't anything special!

Shallow-Look at flyer!  Have you ever seen somebody as great as he is or even willing to take the risks that he does?!

JT-Yeah, a dime a dozen of these guys like High Flyer!  Like i say, he isn't anything special!  Just watch me and tell me what you think of this match-up, because you know that I'm right!

Shallow-Well if thats what you want to hear then thats what your gonna hear!  But it will not happen, you just watch me!

GP-Hmmmmmm how interesting these conversations get when we are all here and at the Pay Per Views!

JT-Yeah an argument over the two crappiest wrestlers ive ever seen in the entire IWO career!  So Johnathan please pipe up and just go sit in the corner and think about all of the wrongs and rights you have done today!  Then, when you come back be a good little boy and do the shitty announcing job we know you do!!!!!!

Shallow-Hmmmmmmm you know something?  I'm gonna laugh when High Flyer or Evan Levine comes down here and decides to kick your ass from one end of the mat to the other, then will you not be saying Johnathan SHallow, go into the corner and think about your right's and wrong's of the day!  Damn you just dont get it do you?!

GP-Boys will be!  Well lets go down to the announcer, for the start of this matchup!

Announcer-Introducing first!  Being accompinied to the ring by Kate young!  The Challenger, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania!  The Master of The Flying Moon Shot!  Standing at an even six-foot tall, he ways in at two-hundred and four pounds!  He is a former IWO United States Champion, he.....is....HIGH FLYER!!!!!!!!!!!!

("Loco" By Coal Chamber begins to play over the speakers as the fans begin to scream loud.  JT, GP, and Johnny Shallow look at each other as JT shakes his head as the match soon will be started.)

(The crowd gets louder and louder as Flyer steps out with Kate Young and a grin on his face.  Pyro's go off as he slowly walks to the ring.)

GP-God damn!  Listen to this ovation for Flyer! He is taking in all of this and pumping him up for this match!!!  Flyer has got to be loving this crowd right now!!!

JT-Wow maybe it's meygon with a mask on!  Because flyer doesn't get ovations!  When i come to the ring there are your ovations for ya, a biiiiiiig ovation!  The fans absolutely love me!  Im too sexy for me shirt too sexy for my shirt too sexy by faaaaaaaaaar!

Shallow-God damnit!  Put your shirt on man!

JT-IM a ma-model if ya know what i mean!  As i do my turn on the caaaaat walk!

(JT gets on the table and begins to turn on the table.)

JT-Oooooooon the cat walk if ya know what i mean!

Shallow-My eyes are scarred for life!

(GP gets down the table as JT and Shallow are both grabbing there eyes in pain as Flyer gets in the ring and goes to the ropes as the fans still are going nuts for him!)

Shallow-*sigh*Holy lord sweet mother of god!  I think i just pulled a muscle in my heart!

GP-A heart attack?!

Shallow(long pause)-No it's not like a heart attack!

JT-Thats very interesting there johnny!

Shallow-Thanks, i try to keep everything all good!

JT-Well happy for you because next is your IWO United States Champion Evan Levine!!!!!!!!!

(P.O.S. by head begins as the fans begin to boo. Evan Levine makes his way out towards the ring area as the fans boo even louder.)

Announcer-And now, your IWO United States Champion!!!!!!!  Being accompinied to the ring by Tara!  The United States Champion, and the master of the Game Time!  Hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!  Standing at six foot-four inches, and weghing in at two hundred and fourty seven pounds he is, EVAN LEVINE!!!!!!

GP-Listen to the fans hatred for this man!  Evan Levine is enjoying the fans boo him too!

JT-Damn, Tara looks good, man she's hott!

GP-Is that all you think about?

JT-No, but i do think of women quite a lot, becaus ei love women and women love me!

Shallow and GP-Hardly!

JT-Your just jealous!

(Levine walks up the steps and to the ropes as he takes off his belt and raises his arms in the air.  Flyer is stretching on the ropes as Levine and Tara get into the ring as Levine goes to the top rope and holds his belt up high then hands it to Tara, who goes outside of the ring.  Tara hands it to some lady who puts it on the table where the bell is located.)

GP-Im inching for this match to get started!  I want to see what Flyer has in-store and what Evan Levine has in store for Flyer!

Shallow-The tention is building as Flyer's eyes are just beaming at the ERvan Levine!

JT-Levine thinks he's great and Flyer thinks he's great!  If they were on Phyre i would run across the street to piss on em' but not the yellow pina colada!  Hell no!  A little mix of my own!

GP-Awwwwwww man!  Thats not right in anyones mind!

(We see Levines lips move mouthing something to flyer, who chuckles and mouth's something back.  Levine shakes his head and laughs.  The ref checks flyers boots for anything like he is frisking a guy.  He goes over to levine and does the same exact thing.  Levine grows an arrogant smile laughing at how pathetic Flyer is.)

GP-Levine's arrogancy isn't going to get him anywhere, except pinned by High Flyer and thats not what Levine wants either!

Shallow-Your damn right, all Levine has gotta do is stay focused and keep flyer grounded and he has the match in the bag, it's as easy as pie and thats how he's gotta approach.

GP-Flyer needs to use his speed and flying skills to show Levine that he can do it to try and beat Levine.  But if flyer doesnt do whats good, then he is screwed out of a match and a title at that.

*The ref signals for the bell.*

*Ding Ding Ding*

GP-We are now Underway with the match!  Levine and Flyer grapple, Flyer slips under Levines arm pit and has a twisting wrist lock.  Levine looks for an elbow and flyer ducks and goes for a pin already!
1.....kickout!

Shallow-It's way too early for a pin on Levine!  He barely even got the one count.  Levine and Flyer back up to point A, as Flyer and Levine grapple again and Levine puts Flyer into a side waist headlock.  Flyer look for a way out and reverses it into an atomic drop!  Levine on his knee's as Flyer runs to the ropes does a cartwheel and comes back with two feet to Levines face!

JT-That's impressive?  Hell i coulda done twent cartwheels within one inch and landed a better drop kick to the face then that!

GP-Noooooo you couldn't!

JT-(pause)YEAH!  Levine gets up and Flyer charges and goes for a clothes line not taking levine down!  Flyer knocks levine back to the ropes as Flyer runs and Levine back body drops him over the ropes to the floor!  Levine laughs at his pathetisism, and turns his back to the crowd and holds his arms up!  The crowd booing Levine!

Shallow-And those are the things that will lose Levine the match!

Crowd-Evan Sucks!  Evan Sucks!  Evan Sucks!

SHallow-The crowd doesn't like evan as he shrugs it, off still taunting.  Flyer hops right back up and goes into the ring and walks over to levine and goes for a rollup again!
1.....kickout!

GP-Flyer is going to try and win this match even though he has a fourty pound and four inch weight difference!  If flyer pulls out all the stops the match is set, and if he keeps trying pins he will get lucky and get one!  Lvine gets up as does Flyer whp nails a drop kick right on Levines nose!  Levine shoots back down face first!  Flyer goes to the apron spring board body splash onto Levine who grabs his back!

Shallow-Great move by flyer as he is taking it to Levine quickly!  Flyer picks Levine up from behind!  Levine's Nose is bleeding from that devastating kick he took!  Flyer with a Drop kick to the Back of Levines head!  Levine falls face first to the turn buckle!  Flyer sets him up on the third rope in the tree of woe!  Flyer runs over to the ropes then comes back with a slide tackle to Levines face, further injuring it for blood!

JT-Whoopidy doo!  But blood is the kinda stuff' i like to see and hear about!  Flyer Goes to the ropes and lands another!  Flyer takes Levines legs off of the ropes and whips him into the ropes, Levine reverse Levine goes to the ropes, jumping knee drop!  Flyer catches the knee, he puts it into a shin breaker!  Leavine goes down grabbing his right shin knee area!  Flyer stomps Levine in his face, then goes to his knee.  Flyer starts to set up for the figure four, he's got it locked in!  Levine is in pain!

Shallow-Flyer is showing us something already!  Levine isn't tapping out though!  Levine is grabbing his head, he puts his hands down and starts to the ropes Flyer lets off, as he gets up and picks up levines right leg and does a knee into the inside area, again!  Again!  Again!  Flyer jumps up and lands a knee to levines knee!  Flyer picks up Levine as they tie up!  Flyer with a spinning leg breaker, he holds on!  Another one!  Levine's knee is being worked on!  Flyer pulls levine over to the ropes and sets his right leg on the bottom rope.

GP-Flyer jumps up and lands one on levines leg, he does it again! Remember this though Johnny, Flyer was a three month US reigning champ, he still has what it takes!  Levine is grabbing his knee in pain, Fler keeps levines leg on the ropes and goes to the tope!  Flyer is looking to the fanatic crowd and he jumps off and Levine gets his leg away quick enough and flyer misses!

JT-He coulda broken Levines leg with that single solitary move right there!

GP-But he didnt luckily!

JT-Levine moving to the middle of the ring in pain still grabbing his leg, Flyer grabs his ass, as he looks at Levine.  Flyer slowly reaches his feet as does levine.  Flyer kicks levine in his knee as Levine goes down and grabs it, Flyer follows with a DDT.  Levine is sprawled out on the canvas as Flyer slowly gets to his feet, and starts up the figure four again on Levine!  Levine will not tap out!  The ref checks again, and Levine pulls the ref down and nails him!  The ref is out on the ground, and flyer releases the hold!

Shallow-Levine doing the smart thing and doing whatever it takes to win!  Flyer picks up Levine and does a frankensteiner!  Flyer pulls Levine over to the turnbuckle, he's signaling for it!  The Flying Moon Shot!  He jumps to the top ropes, looks at the crowd!

(Flyer does the Flying Moon Shot to Levine nobody is there to count.)

Shallow-The ref is out, nobody to count!

JT-Damn flyer is dumb!

GP-Damnit ref!

Crowd-1! 2! 3!

GP-Get up ref!

JT-He's starting to move!  It's alive!  It's alive!

GP-The ref is starting to count!
1........................2....................thr kickout!  Levine is still able to keep up and stay alive!  Flyer gets up and starts to push the ref to the corner out of anger!  Levine is slowly getting up Flyer is still arguing as Levine is able to recover.

SHallow-Look at levine though, he has a limp, but is still walking over to flyer!  How is Levine still alive after the pain he has taken?!  He grabs flyer from behind and gives him a boot to the stomach, GAME TIME!!!  LEVINE NAILED GAME TIME!!!!  Levine falls to the mat on top of Flyer the ref counts it!!!
1.........2...........3!!!!!  LEVINE DID IT!  Levine beat flyer with that one move of offense!  Flyer is out of it and so is Levine!

JT-Listen to these fans boo!  Flyer had the match won and Levine came in with one move and won!

(P.O.S. by head begins to play as Tara gets in the ring with the US title.)

Announcer-Your Winneeeeeeeer and STILL IWO UNITED STATES CHAMPION EVAN LEVIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!

*The fans boo even more*

JT-These fans hate levine!

Shallow-How the hell does Levine slip away with the victory?!

JT-Well tara is coming to Evan's aid he see's the title and shoots right up!!!!

GP-Look at him!  He's going crazy!  Levine limps out of the ring with Tara's arms around him helping him as Flyer lays limp in the middle of the ring!!!!!

JT: While they clean that mess up, lets go to something more fun...like...the EXTREME TITLE MATCH!

GP: How about that! It's the next match on the card!

Extreme Title Match
Lion's Den Match: The match takes place in a closed room. If the match runs longer than a certain unnamed time limit, 5 lions will be released into the room.
The Raging One -c- v. Fenix

JT: YES!!!! SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE EATIN ALIVE!!! BLOOD!!! GUTS!!! GORE!!!

Shallow: Al Gore would make a good president.

JT: How could you think about some boring ass presidential race when we're about to be treated to an Extreme Title Lion's Den match between two of the IWO's most extreme people in the entire federation!?!

Shallow: Well you're the one who said something about Gore!

JT: I ment Gore as in BLOOD! ESPECIALLY CLOTTED BLOOD!!!

GP: Eww! That's a nasty word.

JT: What?

GP: Clotted blood.

JT: No... These are nasty words. Vagina. PMS. P...

GP: STOP!!!!!

Shallow: Please!

JT: Yall are a couple of...

GP: The match is about to start!

Ring Announcer: The following contest is a Lion's Den Match and is for the IWO Extreme Title!!!!!!

(Crowd Pops.)

Ring Announcer: Weighing in at 246 lbs... from The Mojave Desert... "THE MYSTIKAL ONE" FENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

("Nastradamus" by Nas plays as Fenix makes his was out to the Lion's Den cage to a huge pop.)

JT: NASTY NAS THE ESCO TO ESCOBAR NAH HE IS NASTRADAMUS!!!! NASTY NAS THE ESCO TO ESCOBAR NAH HE IS NASTRADAMUS!!!! NASTY NAS THE ESCO TO ESCOBAR NAH HE IS NASTRADAMUS!!!! NASTY NAS THE ESCO TO ESCOBAR NAH HE IS NASTRADAMUS!!!!

Shallow: Like that song eh JT?

JT: Yeah biatch!

GP: Well Fenix is getting into the Lion's Den. We're now awaiting The IWO Extreme Champion The Raging One.

JT: Duh Greg. Gosh you're STUPID!

Shallow: Yeah. Just STUPID!

GP: You want me to open up a can of WHOOPASS!?!

JT: I'd like ta see you try!

Shallow: Yeah try!

JT: SHUT UP SHALLOW!!!!!

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, weighing in at 245 lbs... from Mt. Laurel, NJ, he is the current IWO Extreme Champion... THE RAGING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

("Keep Away" by Godsmack plays as The Raging One makes his way out to the entrance way to a huge pop.)

JT: The Raging One's gonna kick Fenix's ass!

Shallow: I disagree, Fenix will become the new IWO Extreme Champion!

GP: There's only one way to find out and that's to watch and be amazed!

JT: HEY, wasn't there supposed to be a certain time limit before REAL lions come out and enter the cage?

GP OH YEAH!

(GP picks up a slip of paper from off the table as the match begins.)

GP: After 15 minutes, if the match hasn't ended, 5 huge red meat fed lions will be released into the Lion's Den!

Shallow: WOW!

JT: yeah.

GP: Wait, they've already started fighting! Raging One and Fenix are throwing blows at each other like it ain't nothing! RIGHTS AND LEFTS AND RIGHTS AND LEFTS! Raging One get's' the upper hand and nails Fenix with a knee to the gut and an Upper Cut. He then RAMS Fenix's head into the den! Raging One is climbing the lion's den!!!!!!!

JT: What's he doing? You win by Submission dildo!

Shallow: He's been in so many Extreme matches he's gotta have a screw loose.

GP: He's got Nunchuks and throws the at Fenix! And a Kendo Stick! A GOOD OL FASHION STEEL CHAIR! He's throwing it all at Fenix!

JT: Whoa. Raging One wants to make sure this is Extreme!

GP: Raging One is jumping off the lion's den! FLYING BODY PRESS AND FENIX MOVED OUT THE WAY! HE LANDED ON THE STEEL CHAIR! Fenix grabs the Nunchuks and is waylaying the hell out of Raging One!

Shallow: That's a serious beat down!

GP: Got that right. He put the Nunchuks down and grabs Raging One, SNAP SUPLEX! Fenix takes the steel chair and CHAIR SHOT TO THE LEFT KNEE OF RAGING ONE! RAGING ONE IS IN EXTREME PAIN! Fenix grabs Raging One and whips him into the cage Fenix follows with a flying splash but Raging One ducks and Fenix goes head first into the lion's den! Raging One's got the Kendo Stick, HE STRUCK FENIX IN THE SHOULDER WITH THAT KENDO STICK!

JT: Did you hear that?

Shallow: Fenix has gotta have a dislocated shoulder! Raging One with a clothesline on Fenix. Fenix gets right back up and charges Raging One. Raging One ducks, grabs Fenix and TAZZMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT: RAGING ONE HAS THE TAZZMISSION ON FENIX!!!

GP: RAGING ONE'S ABOUT TO END THE MATCH RIGHT NOW! FENIX IS BECOMING DAZED!!! FENIX BACKS UP AND SQUASHES RAGING ONE BETWEEN HIM AND THE LION'S DEN! FENIX IS LOOSE!

JT: Boy that was almost over!

Shallow: Yeah, and before we even get to see the lions!

JT: Hell yeah! BLOOD, GUTS, GORE!

GP: Both men are down but Fenix is slowly getting up first Fenix grabs Raging One and a body slam! haven't seen one of them in the IWO in years!

Shallow: Niether have I!

JT: That makes three. He oughta be shot for using a GOTDAMN BODYSLAM IN A LION'S DEN MATCH FOR THE IWO EXTREME TITLE!!!!!

Shallow: Calm down JT.

JT: I CAN'T DAMMIT!

GP: Fenix sets the chair in the middle of the den in a standing position. Fenix grabs Raging One ans sets him up! FENIX IS STANDING ON THE CHAIR! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR IN A STANDING POSITION ON RAGING ONE! RAGING ONE HAS GOTTA BE OUT COLD! FENIX APPLIES A SLEEPER!!! RAGING ONE'S GONNA GO TO SLEEP!

Shallow: RAGING ONE LOOKS TO BE FADING!!!!!!!

JT: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! COME ON RAGING ONE! I PUT MY REPUTATION ON YOU!!!

Shallow: YES FENIX! PUT HIM OUT!

GP: RAGING ONE'S GETTING A SECONG WIND! MULE KICK LOW BLOW! RAGING ONE PUTS THE CHAIR FLAT ON THE GROUND! DDT RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!

JT: YES!

Shallow: damn.

GP: Raging One is going onto the top of the cage again. Wonder if he's got some more weapons.

JT: Knowing The Raging One i'm sure that's what he's after!

GP: Yeah and he's got another steel chair! Wait, he ain't throwing it down this time! HE'S FLYING! FLYING WITH THE CHAIR IN HIS HAND! RAGING ONE IS FLYING OFF THE TOP OF THE LION'S DEN ONTO FENIX WITH A STEEL CHAIR IN HIS HAND! FENIX GET'S HIS KNEES UP AND THE CHAIR GOES RIGHT BACK INTO THE FACE OF RAGING ONE!

JT: WHAT!?!

Shallow: Looks like it hurt Fenix too.

GP: Yeah Fenix is holding his knees. And Raging One is just flat out cold!

JT: Geez, wait a sec, how long we got left before the lions come out?

Shallow: Oh yeah, ya know I forgot that i the match wasn't over in 15 minutes both these guys were subject to death!

JT: Yeah! BLOOD! GUTS! G...

GP: JT SHUT THE FUCK UP!

JT: Whoa! Gettin a little bold aren't we? Don't make me beat the sh...

*PUNCH*

JT: OUCH!!!!! OH DAMN THAT HURT! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME!

GP: You've been getting on my last fucking nerves all pay per view and we're not half way done!

Shallow: Get um Greg!

*PUNCH*

Shallow: OUCH!

GP: YOU TOO!... Now, back to the match, Fenix is slowly getting up, he grabs The Raging One and there's a Double Underhook Suplex!!!!!! Fenix grabs Raging One's ankle ANKLE LOCK NO!!!! RAGING ONE QUICKLY WIGGLES HIS WAY OUT OF THAT! Raging One with a Low Blow! Russian Leg Sweep! Raging One is yet again climbing the top of the lion's den! This time he's got a HUGE black bag and throws it down. I wonder what's in it?

JT: *Still hurting* I hope there's something to extract blood!

Shallow: *Still hurting too* That's all you care about! Blood!

GP: Raging One is reaching into the bag and he's got a crow bar! DAMN HE JUST CRACK FENIX IN THE HEAD WITH THAT CROW BAR!!!!! And he just throws the crow bar down! He reaches in again and grabs some bug spray! He's spraying bug spray in the eyes of Fenix! And throws that down! Raging One has a simple headlock on Fenix now. I ain't seen that in a while either!

JT: Yeah!

Shallow: We saw a body slam and now a headlock!

GP: Fenix pushes Raging One into the cage but Raging One flips over! Raging One running at Fenix but Fenix with a Drop Toe Hold! Raging One's face just rammed right into the lion's den!! Raging One is busted open!!!!!

JT: FINALLY!!!!!! ALL THOSE EXTREME MOVES AND IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR SOMEONE TO BLEED!!!!!

Shallow: Yeah, GO FENIX!

GP: Fenix grabs Raging One and powerful headbutt! Fenix grabs the legs of Raging One, he's crossing them SHARPSHOOTER!!!!!!!!!

Shallow: Oh that's gotta be it! The Sharpshooter's gotta be the deadliest submission manuever in the wrestling world today!

JT: No way! The JT Stretch would kill the Sharpshooter!

GP: And what exactly is the JT Stretch?

JT: My next wrestling match i'll finish my opponent with it.

Shallow: JT You aren't a wrestler.

GP: And you've never had a wrestling match!

JT: That doesn't mean anything!

GP: Yes it does. Look! Fenix just released the Sharpshooter!

JT: Why the hell did he do that? He coulda had the match won!

Shallow: Maybe he wants to inflict more pain!

GP: I'll bet that's exactly what he wants to do! Look! He's reaching into that huge bag and pulls out a WEED WACKER!!!!!!! He's got a WEED WACKER!!!! Raging One immediatly gets up and decks Fenix before he can turn it on! Raging One gets up grabs the weed wacker. He just turned it on! HE WACKING FENIX!!!! BLOOD IS SPLATTERING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

JT: HELL YEAH!!!!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!!!!

Shallow: I can't believe that! Fenix doesn't even look like Fenix anymore! He looks like a red... man!

JT: Shut up Johnny!

GP: Raging One mounts on top of Fenix and is pummeling Fenix! He must be trying to pummel him into submission! Fenix with a rake to the eyes! Raging One falls off of Fenix! Fenix gets up and there's a Spinning Neckbreaker! Fenix grabs the legs of Raging One and there's a Wishbone Leg Splitter!!!

Shallow: Ouch!

GP:  Fenix reaches into that huge bag again that Raging One brought down and pulls out a... Raw Steak!?!?!?! What's that all about?

*DING*

GP: WAIT A MINUTE!!!! THE 15 MINUTES IS UP!!!!!! THERE ARE THE 5 HUNGRY RED MEAT FED LIONS AND THEY'RE GOING STRAIGHT AFTER FENIX BECAUSE HE'S GOT THAT RED MEAT IN HIS HAND!!!!!!!

JT: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! FENIX IS RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE!!! HE'S CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF THE LION'S DEN NOW!!!!! RAGING ONE IS UP THERE ALREADY AND IS TRYING TO STOMP FENIX BACK DOWN TO WHERE THE LIONS ARE!

Shallow: Fenix manages to get to the top of the Lion's Den! They're brawling on the top of the Lion's Den!

GP: I have a feeling the first person to fall off the top of the lion's den will lose this match! If you're caught in the Jaw's of a bunch of Lion's! YOU'RE DAMN SURE GONNA TAP OUT!!!!!!

JT: That's one thing I agree with you on Greg.

Shallow: Raging One and Fenix are just exchanging rights and lefts like mad men!

GP: That's because they know that if they fall off the top, they're gonna be mauled by Lion's! Raging One's getting the upper hand! He's gonna try and toss Fenix off! No! Fenix blocks it, FENIX WITH A TIGER SUPLEX!!!!!! RAGING ONE IS FLYING OFF THE LION'S DEN!!!!!!!!!! THREE OF THE LIONS ARE GOING AFTER HIM AD FENIX IS CELEBRATING!!!! FENIX SLIPS ON A THAT RAW STEAK THAT HE CARRIED TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FELL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE LION'S DEN!!!!!!! THEY'RE BOTH BEING MAULED!!!! WHO'S GONNA GIVE UP FIRST!!!!!!!

JT: HANG IN THERE RAGING ONE!

Shallow: HANG IN THERE FENIX!

GP: FENIX IS GIVING IT UP! FENIX IS GIVING IT UP! FENIX GAVE UP FIRST! TRO IS STILL THE  IWO EXTREME CHAMPION!!!!!!!!

Shallow: DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

JT: YES!!!!!!!!!

GP: Somebody get some help into that ring for those guys!!!!! Those lion's aren't letting up!

JT: ALRIGHT! BLOOD! GUTS! GORE!

Shallow: Oh my god, i'm gonna hurl!

(Johnny Shallow barfs all over the set.)

GP: Uhh let's cut to a promo of the main event! And clean this shit up! Shallow, you've gotta be the sorriest no good son of a bitch i've ever seen!

JT: DAMN THE STINCH!!!

*Cut to a Promo of the IWO World Title Match; Michael Dudley -c- vs. Billy Larson vs. Dane Wilt*

Return Match
Winner gets a shot at Creeping Death at a date TBA. Special Guest Ref: Creeping Death
?¿? v. Ken War

JT: this next match, is possibly the bloodiest match of the night, I mean ?¿? and ken war are gonna tare into each other in this one.

Shallows:  Yes, ken war and ?¿? last match was so violent and so close that ken war almost did the impossible and defeated the ?¿? right in the center of the ring, only to loose eventualy to chris anthony.

GP:  hold on guys, I am getting word from the head guy on this.  Yes I have jamie kosoy on the phone right now, he is saying that he wants the match between ken war and ?¿? to be a combination of the tripple dome of terror, hells dungion, war machine, and scafold death match.

JT: holy shit that is violent, these fans are gonna get treated with a bloodbath.

*5 minutes go by*

Shallows:  The cages have been stacked on each other, the scafolding is laying past the cages, all the carnage is set up for the hells dungion, the weapons are scattered on the three levels, and it is now time for ken war and ?¿? to destroy one another in the cage.

JT: hold on to your asses boys this one will get messy.

GP:  If any fan in the tv audience has a weak stomach please go to another room, because this is shaping up to be the most violent match in IWO history.

Announcer:  This next match is  RETURN MATCH BETWEEN TWO OF THE IWO'S TOP ICONS, WINNER GETS TO FACE CREEPING DEATH AT THE NEXT PPV, FIRST COMING TO THE ASILE, HE IS A FORMER WORLD, NORTH AMERICAN, PACIFIC, EXTREME, US, AND TELEVISION CHAMPION, HE IS KEN "THE WAR MACHINE" WAR!!!!!!

( The place goes dark, and the fans rise to their feet and cheer at the top of there lungs.  "Whereever I may roam" by metallica (the live S&M version) is heard and as the pyro goes off ken war walks down to the ring with weapons in hand, he enters through the bottom cage, and through the razorwire strands and waits patiently for ?¿?)

announcer:  HIS OPPONENT, HE IS A FORMER FWL WORLD CHAMPION, IWO WORLD AND PACIFIC CHAMPION, HE IS THE MYSTERIOUS ONE!!!!!!!

( "Sad but true" by metallica is heard as the lights fade and ?¿? walks to the ring, he too has weapons in hand, he enters the cage and dumps his weapons)

GP:  Well ken war isnt waiting, and he gets a running leap and goes right over the top rope with a sommersault plancha into ?¿?.  Ken war grabs what apears to be a jagged and razorsharp knife, and starts to rake the forehead and mask of the ?¿?.  ?¿? is already bleeding and he apears to be screaming, ken war really wants this victory!  Ken war has the upper hand, as he picks up the bleeding ?¿? and starts to rake his face on the bottom razorwire strand.  Ken war is also standing next to the lemon juice pit as well.  Ken war has that knife again and is cutting the ropes to ?¿?'s mask.  ?¿? is trying to fight it, but ken war doesn't care, ken war stomps on the crotch of ?¿? and rips the blood drenched mask off of ?¿?.

Shallow: Too bad that ?¿? is bleeding too heavily to actually be able to distinguish his facial features.  ?¿? has a fire light under his ass now, and picks up ken war throwing him into the ring over the top razorwire strand, but war nicks his forehead on the top strand.  Ken war now is busted open.  Shit the skin that was on his forehead, is now on the top razorwire strand, and war is bleeding all over the place now.  This is sick.  ?¿? rolls underneath the bottom strand, but the pyro is set to go off in 5 seconds, and ?¿? is sitting on top of ken war and is punching and with digging into the wound of ken war.  Ken war is now a crimson mask, and ?¿? isnt far behind either.  Oh shit the pyro just went off over both ken war and ?¿?. ?¿? felt more of that then ken war, and ken war is on his feet now.  His face is bleeding heavy, but as we all know ken war doesn't let blood loss flaw him.  Ken war now goes for the scythe, ken war's signature weapon of choice, and wile sitting on ?¿? chest, is raking the forehead of ?¿? even more and now ?¿? looks about as bloody as ken war is, only ?¿? is burned badly as well.  Ken war gets up off of him, and throws him over the top strand onto the landmine pit.

Landmine: boom!!!

Shallow:  Ken war gets a running start.  SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP INTO A MOONSAULT ONTO ?¿? AND KEN WAR LANDS FACE FIRST ONE OF THE SPARED LANDMINES!11

Landmine: BOOM

JT: oh god!!!!!

GP:  That had to have killed him

Shallow: nope, ken war is screaming now at the pain, but has a smile on his face as well.  Both men are out on the outside now.  Jesus christ stop this match, we have audience members puking in the asiles right now.  ?¿? is pulling himself to his feat now, his back is all messed up and burned from the landmines, and ken war's face has been blown off, just like the vietnam vets a good year ago from today.  ?¿? picks ken war up and drags him to the second floor, with this version there are pyro machines on each level of the cages, and it has reached the time, but the pyro went off on the oposite end of the cage, and both men are spared.  ?¿? has grabbed a large scimitar and is digging into the stomach of ken war, he is setting out to disembowel ken war in the cage, ken war rakes the badly burned back of ?¿? and gets to his feet, jesus look at ken war's face.

JT: BARF!!!!

GP: I will take over from here shallow, ?¿? is now getting his face kicked in by ken war now.  Both of these men have kicked each other's ass tonight, it is amazing that no one has died yet.  Ken war has a weedwhacker and has it turned on.  OH GOD HE IS RUNNING IT OVER THE BURNED BACK OF ?¿?, ?¿? IS SCREAMING RIGHT NOW AT THE PAIN, THOSE BURNS ARE BEING RIPPED APART, AND ARE BLEEDING LIKE HELL.  KEN WAR HAS A SICK LOOK ON HIS FACE AS THAT IS RUNNING.  KEN WAR PUTS THE WEEDWHACKER ON THE GROUND. DRAGS A PIT OF CACTUS OVER TO THE BLOODY BODY OF ?¿?, LIFTS ?¿? UP BUT THE POWERBOMB IS REVERSED INTO A HURACARANA, AND KEN WAR GETS A CACTUS UPSIDE HIS HEAD. Ken war is now puntured with multi cactus holes in the burn .  Ken war is also a mass of blood.  But they don't care, ken war gets right back up and starts to exchance punches on the second cage.  This is fucking brutal.

Shallow:  Ken war has my respect, he is taking everything ?¿? is giving him, and giving him just as much.  Ken war has climbed to the third teir of this mass of chainlink fencing and solid steel. The scafold is right next to and goes over the third teir like a catwalk.  ?¿? is on the second teir looking up at ken war.

Ken War: come on you misterious bitch, you have come this far, I dare you to carry your burnt ass up to this motherfucker.

Shallow: ?¿? is getting to the third teir now, and upper cuts the nutsack of ken war.  Ken war falls to a heap.  ?¿? grabs the pit of rubbing alcohol and atempts to drag ken war to it. But ken war is fighting it. ?¿?is using all of his strenght to get ken war to this mess. Ken war and ?¿? have lost some major blood, and have been burned badly in this one.  ?¿? goes for a brainbuster but ken war reverses it.  Ken war with a ligerbomb right into the RUBBING ALCOHOL, BOTH MEN ARE IN THEIR NOW, AND ARE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS, THAT HAS GOT TO BURN LIKE CRAZY.  BOTH MEN ARE SOKED FROM THE ALCOHOL, AND ARE SCAMBLING OUT OF THERE.  Ken war starts to drag himself to the scafold, and ?¿? is following him up to the top of the scafold, as you all know in a scafold match the only way to win is to throw your opponent from the top of it.  I think the entire IWO roster is situated at the top of the rampway watching this carnage unfold.  ?¿? and ken war are now brawling on the scafold, they have worked their way right over our announce possion, and ken war is starting to weaken a little bit. And so is ?¿?.  ?¿? puts ken war's head inbetween his legs, and atempts a powerbomb off of the scafolding.  But ken war grabs onto the back of ?¿?'s head and they both fall 20 FEET OFF OF THE SCAFOLD, HITTING AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME, KEN WAR LANDED ASS FIRST THROUGH OUR TABLE, AND ?¿? LANDED ON HIS HEAD.  BOTH MEN ARE OUT COLD.

Announcer: this match is a draw.

Fans: BOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jamie:  hold it just one fucking minute.  This cannot be a draw, it says so in the contract.  So you know what fans, I have one of two choices to make, I can either fire this announcer, or we can continute this match, which is it.

Fans: STREET FIGHT, STREET FIGHT, STREET FIGHT!!!!

Jamie:  ok then, Ken war and ?¿? I am ordering you two to pick your sorry asses up out of that table and continute this shit, I am going to the back to be with the hooker I payed for earlier tonight!!!!!

Shallow: what a turn of events here, even kosoy came out for an apperance.

GP: I am amazed by you jt, I figure you would be having an orgasm by now!!!

JT: there is just so much, this is just brutal excuse me a secondÖ BARF!!!!!!!!!!

Shallow: well this is a first, anyways, ken war and ?¿? are back up now. But they are out on their feet, ken war has a chair and he is chasing ?¿? up the rampway with it, the roster moves out of the way, as ken war just brutalizes ?¿? with that chair.  They are now at the consession area, and ?¿? has had enough and rakes ken war's burn with a pair of tonges. And starts to brutalize ken's face even more now.  Jesus christ this one might just take us off of the air.  Ken war is loving this, but he is bleeding like hell, and ?¿? is just as bad.  Ken war and ?¿? are now fighting in the hallway at the first floor coming close to the stairs to the second floor.  Ken war and ?¿? have entered the stairs, and are exchanging punches up those stairs.  Ken war has a knife and ?¿? has those tongs, and both men are just puntureing the hell out of each other with their respected instraments, there havent been any pinfall atempts, there havent been any sumbission attempts.  ?¿? tried to throw ken war off of the scafold, but ken war grabed ?¿? by the head so that was nutralized, so both men are now just beating the fuck out of each other going to the second floor of this three story arena.  They are now in view of the fans from the second story.  They are on the same level as the scafolding was.  Ken war has ?¿? on the proverbial ropes now as he tries to throw ?¿? over the side, but ?¿? drives those tongs into the EYES OF KEN WAR, KEN WAR HAS TO BE BLINDED, ?¿? NOW TRIES TO THROW KEN WAR OFF OF THE BALCONY NOW, BUT TO NO AVAIL, KEN WAR CUTS THE HAND OF ?¿? AND TAKES THE TONGS.  KEN WAR GRIPS ?¿? BY THE NUTS, AND ?¿? FALLS TO HIS KNEES.  THIS IS REALLY GROSS PROBABLY THE SICKEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
Jt: THIS MATCH IS FUCKING AWESOME, BUT I AM FEELING SICK AGAIN!!!!
 

Shallows: Ken war now drags the bloody and battered ?¿? to the top floor now, there is no more farther to go now.  ?¿? is getting a 5'th wind now, and hits ken war in the balls now, and THROWS HIM DOWN THOSE FLIGHT OF STAIRS, BUT KEN WAR JUST SAILED INTO THE WALL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAIRS.  HELL HE HIT THE FUCKER HEAD FIRST.  KEN WAR IS OUT COLD.  THIS MATCH HAS TO BE DONE, BUT ?¿? ISNT FINISHED YET, HE DRAGS KEN WAR THROUGH THE DOOR, TO THE VERY CATWALK CLOSE TO THE CEILING OF THIS ARENA.  KEN WAR HAS REGAINED CONTIOUSNESS, AND PULLS A SPIKE OUT OF HIS BOOT.  HE DRIVES IT RIGHT INTO ?¿?'S EYES, AND ?¿? IS SCREAMING, BLOOD IS SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES, AND KEN WAR HAS COME BACK TO LIFE.  KEN WAR IS BRUTALIZING THE EYE OF ?¿?. HE LOOKS TO THE FANS AND GIVES THE SIGNAL FOR THE DROP. THESE FANS ARE GOING NUTS.

GP: DON'T TELL ME HE IS GONNA GO FOR THE DROP FROM UP THERE!!!!!

JT: OH MY GOD!!!!!

SHALLOW:  KEN WAR PLACES HIMSELF ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CATWALK, HE IS RIGHT OVER THE SCAFOLDING, AND A FLAMING RAZORWIRE AND GLASS TABLE, THAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE FOR THE SCAFFOLD PORTION OF THIS MATCH.  KEN WAR PICKS ?¿? UP AND LIFTS HIM FOR THE DROP, BUT HIS FOOT SLIPPED, OH MY GOD!!!!! KEN WAR LANDED HEAD AND BACK OF HIS NECK FIRST ON THE SCAFFOLD, HE AND ?¿? BOTH FELL THROUGH THE SCAFOLD AND THROUGH THAT TABLE.  KEN WAR IS BEHEADED, AND BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE, KEN WAR IS BASICLY DEAD AND ISNT MOVING, THE FANS HAVE SHUT RIGHT UP NOW!! WE ARE SEING THE DEATH OF ONE OF THE IWO'S GREATEST PERFORMERS RIGHT NOW, AND NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  KEN WAR'S FALLEN BODY IS RIGHT ON TOP OF ?¿? THE REF
DOESN'T COUNT IT.  THE AMBULACES ARE PLACING KEN WAR IN A BODY BAG, WITH HIS HEAD RIGHT ONTO OF HIS CORPSE.  ?¿?'S HEAD HAS TO BE FRACTURED, HE WILL BE OUT FOR A GOOD LONG TIME BECAUSE OF THIS.  THEY BOTH ARE BEING WHEELED OUT OF THIS.

GP: THIS IS NUTS, I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED THAT KEN WAR WOULD DIE IN ONE OF HIS MATCHES, EVEN IN DEATH HE KINDA WON, BUT WHAT ABOUT ?¿? HIS SKULL MAY BE FRACTURED, BUT SINCE HE IS LIVING HE HAS TO BE THE WINNER.

JT: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE STRANGEST AND SICKEST THING EVER TO HAPPEN IN THIS COMPANY'S HISTORY. THE MOST HARDCORE MAN IN THIS COMPANY IS DEAD AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE!!!

FANS: KEN WAR, KEN WAR, KEN WAR, KEN WAR, KEN WAR, KEN WAR

SHALLOW: THE FANS ARE CHEERING THE SCAFOLDS GOING OUT OF THIS ARENA, BUT THEY ARE MORE SO CHEERING FOR THE NOW DECEASED KEN WAR!

Pacific Title Match
Scott Stone -c- v. "The New Sensation" Allan Gallant

(President Jamie comes out to ringside.)

Jamie Y'know...Scott Stone taking on two guys in a night is a little harsh, considering he's champion. That's no fun...so, let's give our champ a break and have Gallant and Kestler duke it out for the right to fight Stone later tonight!!

JT: So much for Stone versus Gallant.

GP: Jamie is a well known advocate for trying to keep the titles around the waists of champions for long periods of time. He strongly believes in credibility for a champion, so he's trying to set it up so Stone will have an easier win!

Shallow: Well, this is as good a way as any to get it done.

GP: Well this next match is a big match that will determine who will fight Rob Kestler later on tonight for the Pacific Title!! It's between Pacific Champ Scott Stone and newcomer Allan Gallant!! This is gonna be one great battle ladies and gentleman!!

("Opposite of H20" by Drag On begins to play..)

Ring Announcer: Coming to the ring first, the challenger, weighing 246 pounds and stands at 6'4", he is ALLAN GALLLLANT!!

(Now a different music start's to play..not Scott Stone's..)

GP: IT'S PREZ JAMIE KOSOY'S MUSIC!!! WHAT'S HE DOIN OUT HERE!??!?!

(Jamie gets in the ring and grabs a microphone.)

Prez Jamie: Ok, I think I made a little bit of a mistake here. See Allan, I want this Pay-Per-View to have the biggest buyrate possible!! But you fighting Scott Stone first, no, I don't think that will draw a big enough buyrate..SO therefore Rob Kestler, COME ON DOWN!!

("Stayin Alive" by Ozzy Osbourne begins to play..)

Rob Kestler: Ok, what the hell is this all about?? I thought i was supposed to face the winner!!

Prez Jamie: Now Rob, before you have a hissy fit, I want you to calm down, and face Allan Gallant for the right to face Scott Stone later on in the night!!

Rob Kestler: WHY!?!

Prez Jamie: CAUSE I SAID SO!!

("Scott's A Dork" by Reel Big Fish starts to play..)

JT: IT'S SCOTT STONE!! WHAT'S HE DOIN OUT HERE

Shallow: He's comin over to the announcer's table with us!!

JT: YES!!

GP: Oh god.

JT: Hey Scott whats up champ??

Scott Stone: Oh I'm great. After that announcement that Prez Jamie just made, I figured I'd come down here and talk to my good friends Johnny Shallow and JT!! Greg Parker is a little bit on the edge with me..so he could go...

GP: HEY! I wish Stinkey was here right about now. Well the bell has already sounded and Gallant charges at Kestler and takes him down with a clothesline!! Gallant pounding away on the veteran and former United States Champion Rob Kestler!!

Shallow: Well look at Kestler, he is taking a very big amount of punishment isn't that right Scott??

Scott Stone: Oh I can't wait to step into the ring with one of these two goof balls. I mean you got the jobber in Rob Kestler and you got a rookie in Allan Gallant!! I mean who out there actually thinks I'm gonna lose to one of these two??

GP: Well Scott you are known for being to over confident in yourself!! So let's just concentrate on this match!! Gallant still handing out punishment as he powerslams Rob Kestler to the mat. He picks Gallant up and whips him into the ropes, he ducks down, but Kestler stops, AND A LEG DROP FROM ROB KESTLER!! HE'S FINALLY GETTING SOME MOVES IN ON THE ROOKIE ALLAN GALLANT!!

JT: He has Gallant up, Gallant tries hitting him but Kestler blocks, whips him into the ropes and a cross body block from Rob Kestler!! WHAT A MOVE!!

Shallow: Oh who cares JT, you get happy over anything!!

JT: Yeah shutup you cry baby. I listen to your show "Shallow Thoughts" and all I gotta say is SQUIRT SOME!!

Shallow: Well...

Scott Stone: HAHA I love these two!! They are like Beavis and Butthead!! HAHA!!

GP: Yes, now you know what I am put through!!

Scott Stone: Was I talking to you??

GP: No..

Scott Stone: THEN SHUTUP! Now I'll take over, Rick Kestler is beating up Alex Gallant..

GP: It's ROB Kestler and ALLAN Gallant.

Scott Stone: You'd be quiet if you know whats good for you! Now look at Kestler take care of Gallant. It proves to show rookies are all talk..no show! Gallant is gonna lose this match, then I'm gonna go out and kick the sh*t out of Rob Kestler!! See, Kestler picks up Gallant, and what's he gonna do?? Kestler puts him down and whips into the ropes!! Gallant comes off, and Kestler with a back body drop that sends the roookie over the top rope, right onto the matted floor!!

GP: Now Kestler to the outside, and a body slam on the hard, unforgiving mats. Those things cover nothing but concrete!!. Kestler going onto the ring apron, and my god is he crazy? Kestler coming off and he goes for a guillotine legdrop from the apron, but Gallant moves out of the way!!!

Scott Stone: Oh wonderful.

GP: Gallant now rolling Kestler inside of the ring, and Allan Gallant is going to go up top!! And Gallant  hits an amazing top-rope splash!! What a move from this young rookie!!

JT: And the pin!! 1..2..THR!! NO!! Kickout by Rob Kestler!!

GP: Gallant lifts the Usual Suspect by the hair, and sends him into the ropes. Leapfrog by Gallant. Keslter comes back, again, and my god!!! Gallant just hiptossed Rob Kestler right over the top rope!!! Gallant goes to the outside, and whips Kestler into the guardrail. Gallant runs at him, and Kestler reverses it with a back body drop into the crowd, that knocks over a fan at ringside!!

Scott Stone: MY TURN!! Kestler now follows Gallant into the crowd, and this is gonna get ugly!! Kestler dragging Gallant by the hair up the stairs!! And Kestler just threw Gallant down the stairs here in The Arena in Mexico City!! Gallant goes tumbling, and tumbling, and he reaches the bottom!! And Kestler is laughing at him!! And look who stands up!! Elian Gonzalez..KESTLER'S SON!! They are huggin!! Elian has the biggest smile on his face!! AHAHAHA!!

Shallow: Kestler makes his way down to find Allan Gallant, and he can't find him!! Where did Gallant go, wait look out!! Gallant from behind and nails Kestler with a chair!!

JT: YOUR WRONG!! Kestler ducks! Hahahaha! What an athlete!!

Shallow: Shutup.

GP: Gallant now follows it up with a superkick that sends Kestler to the floor. Once again, Gallant sliding into Kestler into the ring, and going to the top, he's gonna come off with a flying elbow!! Gallant gets some major air, but Kestler moves out of the way! Kestler moves!!!

Scott Stone: Think we heard you!!

GP: These are exciting moments, Stone. I'm expressing my feelings!! Jeez. Anyways, back inside of the ring, Kestler plants Gallant with a german suplex. He bridges...1..2..THR!! NO!! Gallant kicks out, and both men reach their feet. Gallant walks blindly into Kestler, and Kestler picks him up into a Death Valley Driver. Bear planted Wretch with that DVD, and he goes for another cover!! 1..2..THR!! NO!!!! GALLANT KICKS OUT ONCE AGAIN!!

Shallow: A few punches by Kestler send's Allan Gallant near the corner, and Gallant sits himself on the turnbuckle. And now Kestler is going for a tornado DDT, but Allan blocked it!!!

JT: Yes! Go Kestler!!

Scott Stone: Kestler can't get Gallant over, and Gallant has him hooked!! Suplex off the top rope by Allan Gallant, and he covers!! 1...2...THRR!!! NO!!

JT: Gallant goes back to the drawing board, and climbs to the top. And my god!!! Gallant nails Kestler with a 450 Splash! It's gotta be over!! 1..2..THR!! NO!! KESTLER IS STAYING ALIVE!!

GP: Gallant with a whip into the ropes, and goes for a flying forearm. My God!!! Kestler ducks and Gallant nails the referee!!! This referee is out cold, and Allan Gallant can't believe what he's just done!!! And Kestler goes outside and is bringing in a steal chair!! He taps Gallant on the shoulder!! AND NAILS HIM HARD WITH THAT CHAIR!!

Shallow: BUT GALLANT DOESN'T FALL!! AND HE NAILS HIM AGAIN!! OH MY GOD!! He is goin for the pin!! BUT THERE'S NO REF!! HAHA!!

Scott Stone: And what a mistake!! Kestler is going over to wake up the ref!! Now watch, Gallant's gonna get up, and grab the chair and nail Kestler.

(There is a pause...and a ton of bangs.)

GP: How'd you know!!

Scott Stone: Cause it's happend millions of times!!

GP: Ah, right. Now Gallant goes into the ropes, and a bulldog brings Kestler crashing head-first to the mat. Kestler stumbles back up to his feet, and heís met with a vicious chop by Allan Gallant!! The audience starts doin the WHOO from that one!! AND ANOTHER CHOP BY GALLANT!! AND ANOTHER WHOO FROM THE CROWD!!

Shallow: Gallant goes to chop again, but Kestler ducks under it, and shoves Gallant sternum first into the turnbuckles. Gallant comes back out, and heís caught with a neckbreaker from the Rob Kestler. Kestler stomping away at Allan Gallant now, forcing him to roll over, and he drops a knee onto Gallant's back!!

GP: Kestler seems to have chosen his target for this match, as he applies a camel clutch to Gallant, working on his back. AndÖhey, thatís not fair! Kestler's got a fist full of hair, and heís tugging on it to wrench Gallant's neck back!! Well, the official disagrees, as he starts putting the five count on Rob Kestler, and he releases the hold. He picks up Gallant, and lifts him into a suplex position, but Gallant slips out of it! Gallant behind Kestler, and he drops him with a reverse DDT. Gallant goes for the cover!! It could be over!! 1...2...THR NO!!! MY GOD!

Scott Stone: I think itíll take a lot more to make either of these two men lose in this match. The stakes are high here, I mean the winner gets the opportunity to get there ass kicked by me!!

GP: Gallant Irish whips Kestler into the ropes, but Rob Kestler reverses it, and he tosses Allan Gallant to the outside with a massive back body drop! Gallant getting back to his feet as Rob Kestler slides to the outside. Kestler grabs Gallant and sends him back first into the ring post. Thatís the second time this match heís used that post.

JT: Gallant lurches away from the ring post into the arms of Kestler, who powerslams him onto the floor. The official is warning Kestler to bring this match back into the ring, and Kestler agrees here, picking Gallant up by his hair and tossing him back into the ring.

Scott Stone: Kestler going up top, waiting for Gallant to return's to his feet. Gallant's up now, and Kestler comes off the ropes, looking for a hurricanrana here!!

GP: And Gallant plants Kestler with a powerbomb! Gallant clutching at his back, and that took its toll, right there. Gallant has Kestler up, and heís guiding him towards the turnbuckle. Kestler grabs the back of Gallantís head, and heís ramming it into the top turnbuckle!!

Shallow: Gallant keeps hold of Kestlerís head, and now heís walking him towards the opposite corner. And again, Kestlers head meets the turnbuckle, and the crowd chanting along once more!

GP: Gallant finishes up in that corner, and he walks Gallant out to the middle of the ring, but he seems to be, well, confused I guess.  Kestler now with an elbow to Gallant's gut, and another, and the third causes Gallant to release Kestler. Gallant spins around, and sends Kestler into the ropes, and thatís a spinning backbreaker to Rob Kestler!!

Scott Stone: Ya know! Don't stop look look!!

GP: Kestler rocking here, trying to increase the pressure, but I donít think heís going to get a submission out of the rookie Allan Gallant, not with his hair on the line!! The referee goes down, and heís counting Gallant's shoulders to the mat!!! This could be it!! 1...2...THR! NO!! The crowd thought it was over as Gallant releases the hold just in time to lift his shoulder!! Gallant, almost cost himself the match!! Gallant scoops up Kestler, and thereís a Michinoku Driver. Heís calling for the 450, and going upstairs!!

Scott Stone: I bet you this is it!!

GP: Gallant off the top with his 450 splash, and heís hooking the leg!! An upset!?!?! 1..2..THRE!! NO!! A SPLIT SECOND AWAY!!

Shallow: Ksetler gets back to his feet, and thereís a right! And another! And another! Kestler who is taking control is knocking the rook silly, and he doesnít seem to be stopping anytime soon. Kestler snap mares Gallant down, and thereís a dropkick to the back of his head. Kestler for the win!! 1...2...THR!!! NO GALLANT KICKS OUT!!

GP: And he connected!! Kestler with the presence of mind to put an arm over Gallant, 1...2...NO!! And both men getting back to their vertical bases here. Allan Gallant rushes at Rob Kestler, and Kestler catches him with the dreaded DDT!!Good god, not the drop toe hold! This one might be over!! And Gallant reaches the ropes and the two are going to there respective corners!!

Scott Stone: What's this?? These two are such slackers!! Keep fighting!!

GP: Kestler is now asking Gallant if heís ready, and the Gallant nods, and charges at Kestler again, and Gallant gets a leg lariat for his troubles!!! Kestler picks up Allan Gallant, and he brings him up for a piledriver!! But wait!! Kestler's back just gave out, and Gallant reversed the move!! Gallant leaps into the air a bit, and brings Kestler's head crashing into the mat with his own version of a piledriver!! Gallant for the win!! 1...2...THR!! NO!! And Rob Kestler kicks out! He doesnít seem to have a whole let left in him, but he kicked out!!

JT: Allan's starting to get frustrated in there, and Iím not sure he knows what to do next. He just does not know how to put this man away.

Shallow: Faggotsaywhat??

JT: What??

Shallow: HAHAHAA!!

GP: Iím not so sure about that. Kestlerís backing off, letting Gallant get back up to his feet, and now he superkicks him back down. Did you see Kestlerís head snap back? But Gallantís not done!! Heís heading up top, and he comes off the top rope with his legs extended. Guillotine Legdrop! Guillotine Legdrop! Kestler with the cover, hooking the near leg!! 1...2...THR!! NO!!

Shallow: And look, Allan Gallant is furious!!! Heís nailed the 450, the superkick, and the Guillotin!! What else can he do??!?!!

GP: Gallant pulling Kestler back to his feet by his hair, and thereís a European uppercut. Another one backs Kestler in the corner, and Gallant's now ramming his shoulder into Kestlers midsection, holding onto the ropes as he does so!!

JT: Whatís this? Kestler get's up and just dove over Gallant, catching him in a sunset flip!! It's over!!! 1..2..THRE!! NO!! MY GOD!! WHAT IS GOIN ON!?!?!

GP: JT is right, what in the hell is going on?!?! Both men up, and Gallant grabs a fist full of hair, and tosses Kestler over the top rope! Now why does he need to do something like that?

Shallow: Smart move!!  If youíd been paying attention!! You might have noticed that Gallantís been able to control the vile, wicked, Kestler on the outside, and it looks like heís going to continue that trend.

GP: Now Gallant goes out and Kestler rolls in, Gallant goes in but Kestler rolls out!?!! Kestler is pointing to his head in brilliance and and Gallant slides and nails Kestler! Kestler off the ropes and a cross body from Allan Gallant!! He is going for the pin!! 1...2...3!! ALLAN GALLANT HAS WON AND WILL FACE SCOTT STONE!!

Scott Stone: Hell, that's all I needed to know. Later fellas.

(Scott Stone leaves.)

Grudge Match
Zombie v. Psycho Jay

GP:Guys, what can we say about this next match? These two hate each other
with a passion and now they get their chance to settle in the ring here at
Dia Del Nino.

JT:Which two guys would that be?

Shallow:Look at your damn itenerary! What's the next match on the list dumb
ass? PsychIWO Man vs.Zombie! How'd you ever get this job in the first place?

JT:I know how you got your job. You played around in the dooty chute a
little bit didn't ya?

Shallow:That is absolutely sick man. You ought to be hung and beaten just
for saying that.

GP:Anyway, let's go to the ring.

*Ding Ding*

Ring Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is a special grudge
match and will pit two of the IWO's greatest stars one on one. And because
of the importance to determine a winner in this match, this match has been
declared a no holds barred, no DQ match! Coming to the ring first.....

("Divine" by Korn plays as PsychIWO Man walks out. The fans are on their
feet cheering.)

Ring Announcer:From South Philadelphia, PA, weighing in at 323libs. and
standing in at 6'8". He is....PsychIWO Man! And his opponent.....

("Forty-Six and Two" by Tool plays as Zombie walks out. The boos fill the
arena.)

Ring Announcer:From Manhatten, NY. Weighing in at 350 lbs. and standing
6'11"...he is the former IWO Heavyweight World Champion....he is Zombie!

*Ding Ding Ding*

PM=PsychIWO Man

GP:There's the bell and we're off. Now as you heard, this match is now no
DQ, so anything can happen.

Shallow:Yea, JT could actually get laid for once. But...maybe not anything
can happen.

JT:I'm about ready to come out of this chair and beat the crap of you.

Shallow:I'd shove my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will
quench your thirst.

GP:Anyway, PM and Zombie are trading licks here. PM kicks Zombie in the
midsection and gets a swinging neckbreaker. PM stomps on Zombie several
times. But Zombie pops back up and kicks PM right in the nuts.

Shallow:Now that's how you win a match!

JT:What? Having a part of your body touch another man's nuts? Is that how
you like it?

Shallow:I'm about to have my foot land in your nuts. We'll see how much you
like it.

GP:Now Zombie picks up PM and slams him to the mat. Zombie runs to the
ropres and comes back with a big legdrop. He covers PM but PM kicks out
immediately. Now Zombie picks him up and sends him into the ropes. He
catches PM with a big powerslam. Now several punches to the head of PM.
Zombie grabs PM's arm and pulls on it with an armbar. PM stands up and rolls
out of the move and tosses Zombie down.

Shallow:PM now runs to the ropes and gets a running knee lift onto Zombie.
PM goes over to the turnbuckle and...what the hell is he doing?

GP:I believe he's taking the turnbuckle pad off.

JT:With that exposed turnbuckle, somebody's ensured to bleed. PM picks up
Zombie and throws his head into the exposed turnbuckle!

GP:But Zombie's not cut. PM, though, makes the cover on Zombie.

1...

KICKOUT!

GP:Now PM picks up Zombie and throws him to the floor. PM climbs the
turnbuckle. Zombie is on his feet, but is taken down again with a top-rope
double axehandle by PM. PM reaches under the ring apron and pulls out a
ladder. Zombie is up and he clotheslines PM in the back of the head. He sets
up the ladder and begins to climb it. PM is up but Zombie is at the top. PM
kicks the ladder over and Zombie lands on the guardrail!

JT:PM picks up the ladder and throws it on top of Zombie. Now PM grabs
Zombie and DDTs him right to the floor. PM is now up on the apron and he
dives off with an elbow drop.

GP:Zombie is now feeling real pain. PM picks Zombie up and whips him into
the opposite end of the guardrail. PM runs in for a clothesline but Zombie
executes a kick to the face on PM. Now Zombie and PM are battling up the
entrance way.

Shallow:I don't think this match is happening anymore in the ring.

GP:I think your right Shallow. They are official in the back. Zombie tosses
PM into that tool box back there. Now he grabs a huge wrench and nails PM
over the head. PM is up though and tackles Zombie. PM picks up the tool box
and throws it on top of Zombie.

JT:PM now picks up Zombie and grabs him by the stomach. He sends him through
the table with a belly-to-belly suplex! PM goes over and covers Zombie.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

GP:Now PM elbow drops Zombie and gets up and grabs a dumpster full of
garbage. He reaches through the dumpster and pulls out...a toilet seat, a
pizza pan, an air conditioner, and a broken TV. He also goes over and grabs
one of the ladders. He picks Zombie up and nails him with the pizza pan!

Shallow:Now PM sits up Zombie. PM grabs the air conditioner and nails Zombie
over the head with it. PM goes over and sets up the ladder in front of the
dumpster.

JT:Now he's picking up Zombie and carrying him to the top of the ladder. He
goes for a vertical suplex, but Zombie reverses it and gets a powerbomb from
the top of ladder into the dumpster! Zombie pulls PM out of the dumpster and
covers him for the pin.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!!

Shallow:The head humper kicked out there!

JT:Ahem! I believe that's former head humper.

Shallow:Shut the hell up brown nose.

GP:Zombie grabs the broken TV and throws it on the stomach of PM. Zombie
then follows in with a double stomp on the stomach of PM. He picks PM up and
carries him back to the locker rooms. They go inside one of the locker
rooms. Zombie tosses him up against a locker and starts to send several
combinations to the stomach and head of PM. He presses PM over his head and
drops him onto a bench!

JT:Check it out. Zombie is breaking open that locker. He pulls out a towel.
Now he goes over and starts to choke PM. PM is struggling to get loose, but
he just can't do it. Zombie lets go of the hold.

GP:Now Zombie goes back to the locker and rips off the locker door. He sets
it up against the wall. Zombie picks up PM and tosses him into the door.
Zombie is pulling PM up by the hair, but PM gets a low blow on Zombie. He
down to his knees. PM gets a kick to the face on Zombie. He looks over in
the locker and finds a roll of tape. PM tapes up his fists. He now goes over
and starts sending rights and lefts to the face of Zombie. Now PM tosses
Zombie out of the locker room.

Shallow:Zombie is stumbling down the halls to that door over there.

JT:PM is right behind them. They are heading right into the parking lot.

GP:PM comes and gets a double axe-handle from behind. He whips Zombie right
into the side of that car and follows in with a shoulderblock to the stomach
of Zombie. He now takes Zombie's head and sends it right through the side
window of the car. PM jumps inside the car and finds the keys. He opens up
the trunk and throws Zombie inside it.

Shallow:What in the hell is this idiot doing?

GP:He starts up the car and takes off flying the parking lot. He does a
complete 180 and shifts into reverse.

JT:No, he couldn't possibly be doing this.

GP:He stomps on the gas and sends the back end of the car into the side of
the building! The trunk where Zombie is, is just crushed! PM gets out of the
car and opens the trunk.

Shallow:Oh my God! Zombie looks mangled! I guess Zombie got a crash course
in hardcore wrestling. No pun intended of course.

JT:Ha ha, very funny. (Under his breath) loser.

GP:PM pulls Zombie out of the trunk and covers him. It's over.

1....

2....

Thr....NO!!!

GP:ZOMBIE KICKED OUT! ZOMBIE KICKED OUT!

Shallow:I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT I THOUGH PM HAD IT WON THERE!

GP:I guess not! Zombie, with all his energy kicked out after he had been
crushed in the trunk of a car! That takes true intensity!

JT:Damn straight. Zombie is just not willing to quit.

GP:PM picks up Zombie and slams his head on the hood of another car. They
are fighting towards the highway over there!

Shallow:Looks like we may have a freeway brawl here. PM runs Zombie into the
light post and he falls into the street.

JT:Cars are swerving out of the way! They don't want to hit Zombie. PM goes
into the street as well and gets a kneedrop on Zombie.

GP:A car just stopped in the middle of the road. PM takes Zombie onto the
top of the car. He picks him up, high above his head. He holds him there and
drops him with a brainbuster onto the windshield! He broke that windshield
clean.

Shallow:Ha! Look at this! A little old lady is getting out of the driver's
side. She is hitting PM with her purse!

Little Old Lady:You young punk! You trash my brand new Buick!

JT:PM can't even defend himself from this sweet old lady, how's he expect to
win this match?

GP:I don't know but Zombie just got up and rolled PM up from behind. The ref
is making the count.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

GP:Zombie is up again and ready to fight! PM is off the car, but Zombie
dives off onto PM. He starts to punch PM rapidly, but he pushes Zombie off.
Zombie though, gets a dropkick on him. He picks up PM and carries him across
the street into that Mexican Bar. He sends him through the glass window!

JT:The owner is now yelling at them to get out.

Shallow:Zombie doesn't care. He picks up PM and suplexes him through one of
the tables. He grabs one of the beer mugs and breaks it over the head of PM.

JT:This match just keeps getting better and more intense.

Shallow:Now Zombie picks up PM and takes him behind the bar. He stands him
up and starts grabbing bottles of liquor and breaking them over the head of
PM. There's one bottle, two, three, four, five, six!

GP:Six bottles broken over the head of PM! That's what I call hard liquor.

Shallow:Give it up man. Don't even try to be funny.

GP:Sorry, anyway, Zombie picks up PM and tosses him on top of a pool table.
He grabs a pool cue and breaks it over the chest of PM. He then takes a rack
of pool balls and drops them on top of PM. Zombie covers him!

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

Shallow:Will this match ever end?

JT:It'll have to sooner or later.

GP:PM is up and he kicks Zombie in the midsection. He tosses Zombie out the
door and back out into the streets. They battle back and forth down the
highway and take a turn onto....what's that street sign say?

JT:I believe it says Market Street.

GP:Must be because there are several fruit stands and stuff down there. PM
fights with Zombie down to the middle of the street. He grabs a watermelon
of a stand and smashes it over the head of Zombie. PM covers Zombie.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

Shallow:Now PM grabs a bucket full of apples. He dumps it onto Zombie and
then stomps him several times. He starts to pick up Zombie, but Zombie gets
a low blow onto PM! Now Zombie grabs some Italian bread and beats PM down
with it.

JT:Question here...why do they have Italian bread in Mexico?

GP:Guess it was on import.

Shallow:Or they've got a black market somewhere.

JT:Shhhhhh....Shallow, don't say things like that. That'll get us in trouble
with other countries.

GP:Now Zombie picks up PM and executes a Zombieplex onto one of the fruit
stands and breaks it down! But he doesn't make the cover!

JT:Dumb move on Zombie's part.

GP:He picks up PM and carries down the street some more. There is a Mariachi
band down there and they break them up! Zombie grabs the guy's guitar and
breaks it over the head of PM. He covers him.

1....

2....

Thr...KICKOUT!

GP:But now the guy with the guitar jumps on the back of Zombie and chokes
him! Zombie tosses him over his shoulder and executes the Zombie drop on the
Mariachi player! PM is up and grabs the bongo drum. He nails Zombie with it!

Shallow:PM picks up Zombie and carries him up the fire escape of the side of
a building. He takes Zombie all the way to the roof. They are punching back
and forth, but Zombie gets the advantage and gets a DDT on PM! Zombie now
picks up PM and sets him up for a Zombieplex, but PM reverses and gets out
of the move! He kicks Zombie in the stomach and sets him up for a powerbomb.

GP:PM goes to the edge of the building and Superbombs him off the building
onto one of the fruit stands! HE COVERS ZOMBIE!!!!

1....!!!

2....!!!

3.....!!!!!!!!!!

(From inside the arena.)

*Ding Ding Ding*

Ring Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, PsychIWO Man!!!!!!!!

GP:PSYCHIWO MAN DID IT! HE DID IT! HE BEAT THE VETERAN ZOMBIE!

Shallow:I am in complete shock! I never thought it would happen!

JT:Hey guys, I say Zombie deserves a hand though. He put up one hell of a
fight and deserves it. He was crushed in the back of a car.

(All three of them stand up and clap for Zombie.)

GP:But you have to give kudos to PsychIWO Man. He overcame the odds and won
the match. That's a feat in itself. What a match! I don't know how we could
follow this one. I guess we'll try to top it with our next match.

Pacific Title Match
Scott Stone -c- v. "The New Sensation" Allan Gallant
'
GP:Fans, it's time for our Pacific Title match here at Dia Del Nino. Earlier
in the night, as you saw, Jamie ordered for Allan Gallant to face off with
Rob Kestler for the number one contendership of the Pacific Title, rather
than having two title matches. Allan Gallant of course won and now is facing
the reigning champ, Scott Stone. Guys, what are your predictions for this
one?

Shallow:I'll have to go with Stone, because Gallant is a newbie. Even though
he does come from the IML, I am against all newcomers and I say Scott Stone
will take the win.

JT:Yea, I'll have to go with you on that one Shallow. The rookies don't
derserve to be treated with respect until they prove themselves, and Gallant
has that chance tonight. But I think Stone will take the win.

Shallow:You're just agreeing with me so you don't get on my bad side and I
kick your ass.

JT:Shallow, you couldn't kick your own ass, let alone mine, so quit talking
big, shrimp.

Shallow:You want to step outside?

JT:Bring it on!

GP:Guys, guys. Calm down. We'll do this later. Right now we have a match to
call. Now let's get down to the ring and have ourselves a Pacific Title
match.

*ding....ding*

Ring Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is for the IWO Pacific
Championship. It is set for one fall...coming to the ring first...

(Some music plays since I don't know Gallant's theme music and Allan Gallant
walks out.)

Ring Announcer:Weighing in at...um...standing 6'......um....from the IML, he
is Allan Gallant! And his opponent.

("Scott's a Dork" by Big Reel Fish plays as Scott Stone comes out from the
back. He has the Pacific Title around his waist and Ariana is with him.)

Ring Announcer:Accompanied to the ring by Ariana, weighing in at 240lbs. and
standing 6'4". He is the reigning IWO Pacific Champion....."Suicidal" Scott
Stone!

(Scott gets inside the ring. He takes the Pacific Title and hands it to the
ref. The ref holds the title up and the bell rings.)

*Ding Ding Ding*

SS=Scott Stone
AG=Allan Gallant

GP:SS and AG are now circling each other. They lock up and this match is
underway. AG is pushing SS back to the corner and they break. SS is back out
again and he locks up with AG. This time SS pushes AG back to the corner and
the ref makes them break...but SS slaps AG on the chest. SS and AG lock up
again and SS gets an arm drag takedown and holds him there with an armbar.
AG is getting up and he punches SS. AG is now loose.

Shallow:Now SS runs into the ropes and comes back but AG catches him with an
armdrag of his own. AG goes and gets a front headlock on SS. This new rookie
is showing some real skills here.

GP:Now AG leans forward to put more pressure on that neck, but SS is
starting to move and get up. SS is on his feet and he elbows Gallant in the
stomach. Into the ropes and gets a flying shoulderblock on AG. SS goes to
the feet of AG and gets a side leg lock. He is yanking on that leg. AG is
trying to pull himself to the ropes but SS refuses to let him go. AG is
reaching, but SS lets go of the hold and pull AG back to the center of the
ring.

Shallow:Now SS picks up both legs and turns him over for a boston crab! SS
gets the hold on and leans back with all his might! The ref asks AG if he
wants to quit, but AG says "no way". But looks at this! AG is pushing
himself up and out of the move! Will he be able to? YES! He did it! He got
loose from the Boston crab!

JT:Now AG kicks SS in the stomach. He runs to the ropes and comes back and
gets a knee lift. AG goes to the head of SS and gets an Eastern stretch on
him.

Shallow:Eastern stretch? How do you know it's called that? It looks like it
hurts.

JT:I'm a commentator. I know my moves.

Shallow:You just know all the moves cuz your brown nosing and want to look
good for Jamie and them.

JT:Hey, just because you suck at commentating, doesn't mean you have to take
it out on me.

Shallow:Man, you are about two seconds and a sentence away from me beating
the crap out of you.

JT:Please Shallow, I'd hit you so hard your grandkids would come out
bruised.

GP:Oh will the two of you quit being little babies and help me call this
match! AG still has the Eastern stretch on SS, but SS has pulled himself all
the way to the ropes and he puts his foot on the bottom rope. AG lets go of
the hold. AG kicks SS and sends him into the ropes. SS comes back and AG
executes a textbook back body drop on SS. Now AG chokes the throat of SS.
The ref is threating disqualification but AG does not care.

Shallow:You can't care if you want to make it in the IWO.

GP:AG lets go of the hold and picks up SS, but SS gets a low blow and is now
in control of this match. SS jumps and gets a dropkick on AG. He takes the
legs of AG and gets a figure-four leglock! AG is screaming in pain.

JT:Ya'll noticed this is really been kind of a submission match?

GP:They'll turn it up a notch here in a sec. There just trying to wear each
other down.

Shallow:Well they better. I want to see someone get their ass kicked.

GP:AG is trying to turn it over, but he just can't do it. AG shoulders are
to the mat.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

GP:AG gets up and now he has the fire in his eyes. He wants out of this
move! He starts to turn it over but SS is trying to fight it. AG, though, is
succeeding quite nicely and he turns it over completely. Now SS is on the
other end of the pain. SS rolls loose. SS is up and he lands a haymaker
right in the kisser of AG but AG comes back with a left of his own. They are
now exchanging punches. Lefts and rights going back and forth but SS now is
getting the advantage and he sends AG into the ropes. AG comes back and SS
gets a head scissors takedown on AG.

JT:SS is now stomping away on AG. He picks up AG and sends him into the
turnbuckle. SS follows in and puts AG on the top turnbuckle. SS is up top
and he gets a Hurricurana from the top turnbuckle! He makes the pin!

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

GP:AG is up and is pissed. He runs and clotheslines SS over the top.The ref
has started the count.

1....

GP:AG picks up SS and gets a huge scoop slam on him. AG now pulls back the
protective mat that covers the concrete.

2....

GP:AG picks up SS and executes a huge piledriver! SS is just plain out of
it.

3....

Shallow:But AG is not done yet. He grabs a chair and sets it up. He picks up
SS and DDTs him right through the chair.

4....

GP:AG now throws SS back into the ring. He covers him.

1...

2...

KICKOUT!!

GP:Close one. AG picks up SS and gets a Manhatten drop on him. Now AG grabs
the leg of Stone and tugs on it with a wishbone split. SS is close to the
ropes though and he grabs a hold of them. AG lets go of the hold. AG waits
for SS to gets up. He runs in and gets a clothesline on him. AG climsb to
the top rope and gets a kneedrop from the top.

JT:Looks like your prediction might be wrong Shallow.

Shallow:Shut up numbnuts, it was your prediction too.

JT:Oh yea. Well....your still wrong.

Shallow:Oh! Good one there.

GP:Shut the hell up! Look, AG is on the outside and he grabs a table. He
shoves the table inside the ring and hops back in. AG picks up SS and
presses him above his head. He holds him there and just drops him to the
mat!

Shallow:Now AG sets the table up square with the turnbuckle. He takes SS and
sets him on the top turnbuckle. AG is up on top and is going for a
superplex, but SS reverses it and pushes him onto the table and it breaks
clean in half! SS stands on the turnbuckle and flys off with a flying
headbutt and connects! He covers AG.

1....

2....

KICKOUT!

GP:SS grabs AG's head and just starts to pound away on him! He is now
slamming the man's face into the mat! He stands up AG and SS runs into the
ropes and comes with a clothesline and sends AG over the top rope! Scott
Stone springboards off the ropes and sails over landing on top of AG! The
ref has started the count.

1....

GP:SS runs AG's head into the guardrail. SS tries an irish whip into the
guardrail but AG reverses it and whips him into the guardrail. AG follows in
and goes for a big splash but SS moves. Ooooooo! AG's mouth landed right on
that metal.

JT:I think I saw some teeth fly on that one.

2.....

Shallow:SS takes AG and gives him a swinging neckbreaker. Now SS turns
around and gets a standing moonsault on AG.

3.....

GP:SS now looking under the ring again for some more weapons. He pulls out a
2x4. He rares back and nails AG across the stomach. SS tosses the 2x4 inside
the ring. He picks up AG and DDTs him right into the floor.

4.....

GP:SS picks up AG and tosses him back inside the ring. SS picks up AG and
lifts him up. He holds him and falls back with a vertical suplex! SS climbs
the turnbuckle and waits for AG to stand. AG is up and SS dives with a
corkscrew plancha on AG! He covers AG.

1....

2....

Thr...KICKOUT!

JT:This rookie will just not give up.

Shallow:I'm still 100% sure that Scott Stone will walk away.

JT:Your hunches are about as good as Silencer being world champing.

Shallow:Ha! I may have to agree with you there. But your still a complete
moron.

JT:Hey, screw you man.

Shallow:Sorry, I'm not like that.

JT:You wish.

Shallow:Yea, that's it.

GP:Fans, please ignore the ignorant ones that sit next to me. As we see now,
SS has gotten a sleeper hold on AG. The ref checks in on AG, but there is no
response. He lifts AG's hand. It drops.

Ref:1!!!

GP:He lifts it again, but it doesn't drop. AG is up and he elbows SS in the
stomach twice. He runs into the ropes and nails SS with a cross body block!
He covers Stone!

1....

2....

3....NO!!!

JT:Almost had a new champ there. Now SS is up and is furious. He kicks and
punches AG several times. He sends AG into the ropes and catches him with a
huge powerslam! He is ready to end this one. He picks up AG and goes for the
Suicidal Tendencies! But AG elbows SS in the head. AG goes to the ropes and
comes back with a clothesline. AG climbs to the top turnbuckle and goes for
a moonsault...but SS moves out of the way!

GP:SS picks up AG and goes for the Suicidal Tendecies! But AG turns it
around and gets a DDT! Now AG picks up SS and gets.....Reality Check! He
gets a Reality Check onto SS! There's the cover!

1....

2....

3....!!!!!

*Ding Ding Ding*

Ring Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and NEW...IWO Pacific
Champion, "The New Sensation" Allan Gallant!

Shallow:What the hell? How could Scott Stone get beat by this rookie?

GP:I don't know, but he did it and he's champion. And he definitely deserved
it.

(AG grabs the belt and leaves the ring.)

GP:It's time for our next match.

North American Title Match
Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid -c- v. Al Coholic

(The Camera shows Shallow walking backstage as it cuts to a backdrop were Jonny Shallow walks into)

Shallows:: Hello everybody, so far tonight.. Dia Del Nino has been such a treat.. And now I have with me..

{Al Coholic walks in}

Shallows:: Al Coholic... Sup kid?

Al Coholic:: Nothing, you?

Shallows:: Same old..

Al Coholic:: Cool...

Shallows:: Very cool.

{They both begin to chuckle}

Al Coholic:: Well, it's coming time for my big match..

Shallows:: The HardCore Isosceles Trapezoid, what a character.. He has made your life a living hell.. On Hostile Takeover beating your ass and now this.. What comments do you have for HIT?

Al Coholic:: The HardCore Isosceles Trapezoid is a suttle person. He can't beat me, he won't beat me.. Al Coholic, myself, will walk into the ring tonight, show the crowd what I got, and then beat his little sorry ass from ring post, to damn ringpost, to the outside, wherever it takes.. And then, I will force him into eternal bleeding, just like I did to our good ol' friend...Chrome Thunder.. If you recall at Ice Age II what I did to his ass. Do we have fotage of what I did to him? And yes, the Billion Dollar Promotion!

::Fotage Starts::
GP: LOOK! COHOLIC JUST HIT THUNDER WITH THE CHAIR TOO!

JT: Coholic pulls Chrome up! HAPPY HOUR (Brainbuster)!

Coholic: You see Thunder! YOU SEE! Your losing this match is no coincidence. I COST YOU IT! And just like you lost this one, you're going to lose your extreme title to ME at Ice Age!

::Fotage Ends::

Al Coholic:: Ohhh, and then it continued..

::Fotage Starts::
Shallow: HE'S STUMBLING TOWARD THE TIT-RON! HE WANTS MORE!

JT: IF THERE WAS EVER A QUESTION THAT CHROME THUNDER IS THE NEW EXTREME ICON, IT'S JUST BEEN ANSWERED!

GP:The EMT's are telling him not to, but Chrome Thunder is climbing up after Coholic!

Shallow: HE IS BLEEDING ALL OVER! EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES HAS BLOOD ON IT!

JT: HERE HE GOES! HE CHARGES COHOLIC! COHOLIC MOVES! THUNDER FLIES OFF AGAIN!

*CRASH!*

Shalllow: HE JUST CRASHED THOUGH A TABLE!

GP: THEN ONTO CONCRETE!

JT: WE'VE GOT A TRAINER DOWN THERE CHECKING ON HIM! HE APPERENTLY LANDED ON HIS NECK AND HE ISN'T MOVING! HE COULD BE PARYLIZED!

Shallow: HE'S FULLY CONSCIOUS TOO! THAT'S WHAT SCARES ME!

GP: Coholic is climbing down and going after Thunder!

Thunder: AHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T MOVE!

::Fotage Stops::

Al Coholic:: and that my friends, is what will happen tonight.. Later Shallows.. I gotta go to the ring..

Shallow:: Good luck to you Al Coholic and your opponent for the IWO North American Title..HIT..

{Camera Goes TO The Ring}

Gp: Well fans we shall be moving on with are next to last match....It is for the IWO North American Title! And while we wait for Jonny Shallow to make his way back to the ring lets go to you JT!

JT: Yep....Time for the drunken one to gain the gold back! Al will go all the way tonight and he will win back the NA Title!

(Shallow sits down and talks)

Shallow: God please....both of you make this out to be a good match.....You two have got to be kidden me! God.....

GP: Well nevertheless.....We have are next match that is...Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid -c- v. Al Coholic! this should be a classic.....But only time will tell...

JT: Yea...only time will tell that Al Coholic will be the NEW!!! IWO Na champ!

Shallow: Please Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid is one of the greatest current champs we have out there! So......lets look back into reality and see HIT as the NA champ now and for a long while!

GP: Good point.....Well, with that said and done...I will put my money on HIT.....he has the better of the two and he is also the champ right now....its a lot harder to win a belt then to lose it!

Shallow: Thats what im saying.....HIT doesnt have to win...Al does!

GP: with that said and done....LETS GO TO THE RING!!!

Ring Anouncer: Ladies and Gentalmen.....this next match is for one fall.....AND IT IS FOR THE IWO NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!!!! Introducing first! He is the challenger... From....Myrtle Beach, SC...weighting in at..269 lbs....AL COHOLIC!!!!

[The Pyro goes off and the fans start to boo as "Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine starts to play....Al walks out with a bottol in hand and a smile on his face....he gets into the ring and takes a drink out of the bottol and waits for Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid to make his way!]

Ring Anouncer: And his opponet!!! From A Piece of Notebook Paper, Salt Lake City, UT....weighting in at...a unkown weight!!!...He is the current IWO North American Chamption.....HARDCORE....ISOCELES......TRAPEZOID!!!!!!!!!!

[The Pyro goes off and the fans go nuts as "I'm Gonna Whoop Yo' Ass: Remix #412.53" by HIT plays....Your hero and mine...Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid makes is way to the ring....]

GP: Well both men are in the ring and we are just about to get going....!

JT: Yea just about to see Al beat the shit out of HIT!!!

Shallow: Dont make me hurt you...and you know I can!

JT: YA!

GP: Please....keep the sanity!!!!

DING DING!!

GP: Both men start things out slow...they take a look at each other and make there advancements! HIT goes right after Al Coholic's legs....Al Coholic falls hard to the mat as HIT jumps on him and uploads rights and lefts on by one...on the face of Al Coholic! The ref who has seen enough pulls HIt off of Al Coholic and gives him a warning..Al Coholic is to his feet and runs at HIT....OH SPEAR!!! HIT hit hard now Al Coholic is dealing out the lefts and rights!!! These two men are just toying with each other!!!

JT: YES...YES....You get him AL.....Go AL....GO AL!!

Shallow: The Ref once again breaks it up as the fans boo....HIT is to his feet and now both men are looking at each other agian!!! Will the fun never end?

GP: This match might start out slow but I have a feeling were in for a long night....AND THERES THE ADVANCEMENT AGAIN!!! This time both standing there ground dealing out a left and a right....HIT wins the fight and is puching Al Coholic back to the ropes....Al Coholic is now pressed up on the ropes....HIT takes AIM and...

JT: HE MISSED!!! Al Coholic ducked it and just nailed Hit in the back of the head sending him over the top....THATS MY BOY!!! GO AL!!

Shallow: Shut up JT...HIT is on the floor as he takes sometime to regroup...Al Coholic gets to the top and jumps right onto HIT....The fans are going nuts...Al Coholic gets to his feet and goes over and grabs a TV wire....He is CHOCKING HIT WITH IT!!!

JT: YA!!!

GP: The ref is trying to stop this....He is starting a 5 count....1.....2......3.....4....HE LETS GO!!!!

JT: Oh dont get DQed man.....Thats not going to help a bit...

Shallow: HIt is gasping for air as Al Coholic is now looking for something else....HES GOT A CHAIR!!! The ref is telling him to put it down....Al Coholic pushes the ref out of the way and goes to nail HIT...

JT: NO!!!!

GP: NO!!! The ref just took the chair out from the hands of Al Coholic....Al Coholic turns around and advances on the ref.......HIT IS UP!!! He picks up the chair that Al Coholic was going to us....

JT: NO!! AL LOOK OUT!!!

Shallow: Al Coholic turns around to meet steal head on!!! The fans are going nuts...The ref tells HIT to put Al Coholic back into the ring.

GP: HIt rolls him in....and covers..1....2....NO!! He kicks out...HIt gets right to his feet runs to the ropes and back....DOWN...nails a big elbo!!! He covers..1...2....NO!! HIT getting a bit mad yells at the ref...This gives Al enough time to get to his feet...HIT turns around and. Kick the the midsection....DDT!!! AL covers...1.....2.NO! HIT kicks out with force! The fans are going nuts as AL gets to his feet....Made Al goes to the top ropes....He takes aim....and....

JT: NO NO....DAMN!!!

Shallow: HIT was playing dead and rolls out of the way just in time!!! The fans are going nuts....Al is in pain as both men are getting to there feet right away....Al Coholic goes for a closeline and misses...He turns around and meets the boot of HIT...DDT....HIT gets right up....Al Coholic is down....HIT is saying its all over!!! The fans are going nuts....HIT climbs to the top......he takes aim....Times Height!!! Times Height! The fans are on there feet!

JT: No...No...this cant happen...AL is the man!!  Al Coholic cant lose!

GP: HIT covers for the 1
2.............
......
......
3.........NO!!!!  Al Coholic kicked out....AL KICKED OUT OF THE ELBOW DROP!!! MY GOD MY GOD!

JT: YES HES STILL IN THIS ONE!!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!!

Shallow: HIT nor the ref can understand why...or HOW...Al kicked out of that....HIT very pissed of Picks up Al....He moves him over to the ropes...He puts him on top! Hes with him here it comes!!!

GP:The Prove Statem.........

JT: NO!!! AL BLOCKS....HE BLOCKS...He now puches him off of the top...HIT hits hard.... The fans are going nuts...Al is on top now...he takes AIM!!! BIG SPLASH!!!! He covers...1................2....
NO!!! HIT KICKS OUT!!! The fans are in the one 100%

GP: Al gets right to his feet and pulls HIT with him!

JT: Hes setting him up for the happy hour!!! Hes got him up.....DOWN...HAPPY HOUR!!! HAPPY HOUR!!! HAPPY HOUR!!! He covers.......................Where the hell is the ref!!!

Shallow: ITs Jessica Holly!!! Shes distracting the ref.....What the hell...Al gos over to get the ref.

GP: Look theres Levine...Hes got the bear bottol that Al came to the ring with...Hes handing it to HIT....The fans are going nuts!!! HIT IS TO HIS FEET!!!! The fans are going nuts....Al turns around and walks right over to HIT....

JT: NO!!!

Shallow: YES.....HIT CRACKS THE GLASS ON THE HEAD OF Al Coholic! The fans are going nuts!!! HIT is going up top!!!

JT: NO!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!

GP: He takes AIM....Times Height!!!!!!! Times Height!!!!!! HE COVERS!!! 1....................................
...........
2....................................
...........
..........3!!!!!!! ITS ALL OVER!!!! ITS ALL OVER!!!! Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid comes out of this one still your NA champ!!! Fans this one will go down in the books!

JT: Damn you Evan Levine!! Al would have had HIT...if Evan Levine didnt come down here and put his nose were it doesnt belong!!!

Shallow: You know I heard Evan say something intresting to HIT when he handed the bottol to him....Evan said..."You owe me!" Now what that means I dont know....What I do know is...That Thanx to Evan and Jessica.....Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid is still are NA CHAMP!!!

World Title Match
Michael Dudley -c- v. Billy Larson v. Dane Wilt

*BACKSTAGE*

(President Jamie is seen talking to somebody.)

Jamie- Dane Wilt is in this building tonight...we know that. Now, I haven't brought the police we're past the border...so I can't have him arrested. More paperwork to bring him back to the US...so we'll hold off on that for tonight. Now, we've had our differences in the past...but if you do your job I'll guarantee you you'll get a shot at that World Title...

*RINGSIDE*

World Title Match
Michael Dudley -c- v. Billy Larson v. Dane Wilt

JT: Who was Jamie talking to, and what was that about?!

GP: Who knows!?

Shallow: Who cares?! All those other matches we had were just killing time, brewing up to this moment folks! Dudley puts his World Title on the line against Dane Wilt and Billy Larson! It gets no better than that!

JT: Dudley has got to have the disadvantage in this match. First, you've got the fact that this is a one fall match. That means if Larson pins Wilt or vice versa, Dudley lost his title and he never even got pinned! Add in that PsychIWO Man (*cough cough Psycho Jay cough*) has been nipping at Dudley's heels for the past couple months, serving as a major distraction, and you know that Dudley has his work cut out for him.

GP: Plus, let's not forget what happened at Conspiracy Theory, when Dane Wilt was scheduled to fight a mystery opponent!

*REPLAY FOOTAGE OF CONSPIRACY THEORY*

(Dane Wilt makes his way out. No music plays. He has the world title on his
shoulder. The crowd is semi-cheering him. Since I don't know if someone is
good or bad I just put semi-cheer. K...)

GP - Well... Here he comes. I guess he is going to come down here. I told
you so Johnny.

(Dane gets in the ring. He has a microphone.)

Dane Wilt - So who is it? Jamie... John... Who is it? Who is this Mister To
Be Announced? Is it Zombie? Is it Cappy? Is it Larson? Is it Kell? Who is
it??? Send his ass out here so I can send him back crying.

(All of a sudden Johnny Shallow stands up. He starts laughing. He heads into
the ring.)

GP - What is he doing?!?!

(Shallow gets in Wilt's face.)

Dane Wilt - Look who it is! Davey Swallows!!! What are you doing in my ring?
Are you "To Be Announced?"

Johnny Shallow - Damn it Dane... You never learn... You see I've been
talking with IWO officials AND the lovely Greensboro police and we have all
come to an agreement.

Dane Wilt - WHAT???

Johnny Shallow - Tonight is going to be YOUR worst night EVER. You see Dane.
I told you I would get you... And this is my revenge!!! Come on and get him
boys!!!

(The Greensboro police make their way out. Dane and the fans are in shock.)

Johnny Shallow - Yeah.. He is the one.. He did it officers. Take his ass away...

(The police get in the ring. They handcuff Dane Wilt. He doesn't put up a
fight. Because he has no clue what is going on. President Jamie is now
making his way out. He has a piece of paper in his hand.)

JT - This doesnt' look good for Dane Wilt.

(Jamie gets in the ring. The police are reading Dane his rights.)

GP - No... It doesnt' look good.

(Shallow is laughing. Dane is mad. Jamie has a microphone.)

Jamie - I hate to do this to all the IWO fans.

(The crowd still has no clue what is going on.)

Jamie - I hate to do this to you Dane. But as of RIGHT NOW... You are no
longer the IWO World Champion..

(The crowd is in shock. Dane is mad. Shallow is laughing.)

*END REPLAY FOOTAGE*

Shallow: I love that! Play it again, please?

GP: No. That footage shows that Dane was the undisputed champion before...he could very well become that again tonight.

JT: Either way, he's the biggest asshole I've ever laid eyes on.

Shallow: Ditto.

JT: One last point that ought to be brought up about this here match...this is Billy Larson's biggest shot of his career! Never before has he main evented an IWO PPV for the World Title! The adrenalin has got to be pumping in that SOB's veins.

Shallow: This match can go any of a thousand ways...it's gonna be a helluva fight!

(the bell rings)

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled to be a three way one fall match for the IWO World (big pop starts) Heavyweight Title!!!

(the crowds roars turn into a full chorus of boos and Spanish curses as "All Right (Oh Yeah)" by Local H starts to play throughout the arena. The crowd's overwhelming distaste is deafening. Dane comes out with a determined look on his face, carrying a mic.)

Announcer: Introducing first...

Dane: Shut the f*ck up! Y'know...you stinky bastards are only here booing me because all the other REAL federations are having their Pay Per Views on other dates in different places! Who would want to have a venue in Mexico anyway? Only a cheap bastard like Jamie Cozey would buy this worthless place for the night! Of course, since the PPV card itself is equally worthless, who really gives the sh*t?! I'm here for one reason, and one reason only...to go out on the top of the f*cking so-called wrestling world. All you gotta do is play two more songs, have two more f*cking IWO losers come out, let me kick their asses, and we'll call it a career. So shut my music off and play their sh*tty songs so I can kick their faces in!

Shallow: Dane's having PMS.

JT: I'll say!

GP: But he certainly is focused tonight.

JT: I hope Larson and Dudley slaughter him. I hate his guts.

(Dane's music fades out. In it's place comes "Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit. The crowd gives a huge pop...they no longer care if Larson is a heel or a face, they just want to see Wilt get his ass kicked. Larson stalks out with a mic in his hand.)

Larson: Curse off the IWO all you want Wilt, tonight is my shining moment! If you want to talk about how good the competition is compared to the IWO, be my f*cking guest...but you're up for the IWO World Title, which means your up against me...and that means, whether or not you give the sh*t, I'm going to f*ck you up right f*cking now!

(Larson charges at the ring to a huge pop. He rolls in and he and Wilt start to duke it out.)

GP: The World Title match has started before the champion has even arrived on the scene!! Dane and Larson are going toe to toe!! Exchanging blows!!

JT: No one expected this match to be anything less than an all out brawl, and that's exactly what we're getting!

GP: Larson nails Dane!! Dane staggers!! Larson nails him again!! Again!! The crowd is on their feet!! Larson hits him agai-NO, DANE DUCKS IT!! GO BEHIND ON LARSON, RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! LARSON IS DOWN!! THE CROWD IS IN AN UPROAR AGAINST DANE WILT!! SECURITY IS DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO HOLD THE FANS FROM STAMPEDING THE RING!! DANE IS JUST SMILING!!

Shallow: Larson underestimated Wilt early on. That german suplex might have done him in after the first 45 seconds of this match!!

GP: Dane pulls Larson to his feet, LOW BLOW!!! LARSON CAUGHT WILT RIGHT IN THE SOFT SPOT!! LOOK AT THE LOOK ON DANE'S FACE!! LARSON GETS TO HIS FEET, AND JABS DANE IN THE FACE! AGAIN! DANE REELS BACK TO THE ROPES!! LARSON RUNS BACK, FLYING SHOUDER BLOCK AND BOTH MEN GO FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE!! THE CROWD IS GOING COMPLETELY NUTS!!

JT: Dane was just wiped right out by Larson! Larson put everything he had into that shoulder block, sending both men careening over the top!

GP: Dane and Larson are both getting to their feet on the outside...and now they're brawling again!! The crowd is chanting Larson's name...I don't think I've ever seen a crowd this much behind Billy Larson!! Larson punches, Dane blocks, and decks Larson down!! He's going to the crowd now for a chair...he just stole a chair from a fan!! The fan is yelling at Dane...DANE LEVELS THAT FAN WITH THE CHAIR!! THE FAN IS BUSTED OPEN!! I CAN'T BELIEVE DANE!!

("Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" by Offspring starts to play, and the crowd cheers as Michael Dudley comes flying down to ringside. He throws the belt on the entrance ramp and goes straight after Dane Wilt.)

JT: DUDLEY!!

GP: DANE SEES HIM-- LOOK OUT!! DUDLEY, WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM, JUST GOT DEMOLISHED BY THAT CHAIR!! LARSON IS GETTING UP, DANE NAILS HIM WITH IT AS WELL!!

(the bell rings to officially start the match)

Shallow: This match is underway, and unfortunately it already looks like Dane is going to win!

GP: Dane rolls Dudley into the ring...cover! 1...kickout by Dudley to a tremendous pop!!

JT: A chairshot is not gonna be enough to win the World Title!

Shallow: Dane dropped that chair right on Larson's back...you can bet your ass that Dane will be eating that chair as soon as Larson gets his wind.

GP: Larson is just starting to come to...Meanwhile, Wilt sends Dudley to the turnbuckle and charges in with a spear, sending the champion to the ground. Wilt is now choking Dudley with his foot!! The ref is warning Wilt to stop, but he just flips the ref the bird!

JT: He's such an asshole!

Shallow: But a smart asshole, give him that credit! Wilt has been the champ before, he knows that the ref won't disqualify him for BS like a choke...not in a World Title match. As much as we all agree that Dane Wilt deserves to rot in hell, he knows his way around the ring and will use every tactic he can to win that belt!

GP: Wilt is smacking Dudley around now...just humiliating Dudley to death!! LARSON IS IN THE RING WITH THAT CHAIR!! The crowd is cheering!! Larson charges Wilt with the chair, WILT KICKS THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO LARSON'S FACE!! LARSON GOES DOWN AGAIN!

JT: THE F*CKING CROWD WARNED HIM ABOUT IT! I HATE PEOPLE!

GP: Wilt grabs Dudley by the throat...and lifts him right off his feet!! Wilt is trying to choke Dudley out!! Dudley is fighting for air!! Dudley kicks him in the stomach, AND USES THE MOMENTUM TO BRING WILT DOWN WITH A DDT!! RIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE!! WILT IS DOWN!! DUDLEY COVERS!! 1...2 AND WILT GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Shallow: It wasn't a close 2 count, but it was a 2 count. Wilt was almost beaten just like that! *snaps his fingers*

JT: How sweet would it be to watch that stupid f*ck get his ass pinned by one of these two. Wilt would have to hide away in humiliation after all the crap he's spewed from his mouth about the IWO!

Shallow: I'd love it.

GP: We all would, that we agree on. All three men are getting to their feet now...the chair is still in the middle of the ring...Dudley gets up first, and he kicks Wilt right back down! Dudley is helping Larson get to his feet now!! What a surprise this is!! Dudley and Larson nod at each other...they're going to team up on Wilt!! Larson grabs the chair again...Dudley picks up Wilt and is holding him in place...the crowd is roaring again!! Larson aims and nails Wilt square on the head!! Wilt slumps right down to the ground!! Larson rears the chair back and DECKS DUDLEY AS WELL!!! LARSON JUST INTENTIONALLY NAILED DUDLEY RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THAT CHAIR!!

JT: Hahahaha!! Give credit to Larson...Dudley was a dumbass to trust anyone with the World Title on the line!!

Shallow: Larson with the cover on Wilt!! 1...2...3NO! That was a damn f*cking close count!

GP: Wilt was just an instant away from losing Dudley's World Title to Larson!! Larson gets right to his feet. He pulls Wilt up...whips him to the ropes...leap frogs over him- NO!! DUDLEY GRABBED LARSON'S LEG AS HE WAS GOING FOR THE LEAPFROG!! WILT JUST RAN RIGHT INTO THE VERY LOW ABDOMEN AREA OF LARSON!!

JT: Larson hits the ground, holding his nuts!! How embarassing!!

Shallow: Dudley just pulled off a great move there! He put both Wilt and Larson back on the ground, and now it's the champs turn to capatilize!

GP: Dudley gets to his feet and grabs the chair. He wedges it between the top and middle turnbuckles...uh oh, this could do some serious damage! Dudley pulls Larson up to his feet...and throws him full force into that turnbuckle!! Larson richochets back from the velocity of the throw, and Dudley follows right up with a front face bulldog!! Cover!! 1...2...Wilt makes the save!!

Shallow: So close!

JT: The crowd is booing Dane more than ever now!! Everybody hates his guts now!!

Shallow: Well if he wants to talk sh*t about the IWO, why doesn't he just leave?! If he wants to compete for the title, it's obvious he at least cares a little about it!

GP: That was a really nice move Dudley pulled off. I don't think I've ever seen a front face bulldog before.

Shallow: These guys are gonna come up with moves that don't even exist to win that title. Contrary to Dane's belief, this is the IWO and the prestige that goes with that title is unparalleled!

GP: Very true. Dudley and Wilt are both getting back to their feet now. Dudley gets up first and smashes his knee right into Dane's face, keeping Dane on his knees. A fierce right hand stuns Dane a little longer...Dudley with a standing blockbuster!! As odd manevuer as I've ever seen!! Cover on Dane!! 1...2...Larson makes the save!! The crowd is now booing Larson out of the building!!

JT: The fans just wanted to see Dane get pinned, they could give the sh*t who is champ and who isn't!

GP: Dudley is pulling himself to his feet...

(Suddenly, "Divine" by Korn begins to play. PsychIWO man comes out with a clipboard and pencil, writing things down. As he walks down the entrance ramp, he notices the World Title. He picks it up and continues walking, as the crowd, for the most part, boos him.)

JT: I can't understand why the crowd would boo PsychIWO man!! He follows all the rules, he does exactly what they want to see!

Shallow: It looks like he's heading over this way.

(PsychIWO Man grabs a headset and sits down.)

PsychoIWO Man (PM): I just couldn't resist the temptation of watching the greatest wrestling federation displaying their greatest three fighters in a great match for the IWO World Title!

JT: Who could?

PM: I must say though, I'm quite disappointed! I've been watching in the back, and all I see is chair shots, choke holds, and low blows! The referee for this match is not doing an adaquete job of officiating!

Shallow: *shaking his head in disbelief* True...

PM: But it gets worse!! The announce team is just out here blurting profanity right and left! There are little children watching, you are corrupting their defenless minds! Shame on you! Shame!

GP: Can I call the match?!

PM: Are you going to curse?

GP: No.

PM: Ok, you may speak.

GP: *sarcastically* Thank you! Michael Dudley has totally lost focus on this match folks. He's calling out Psycho Jay...er...PsychIWO Man to get step into the ring.

PM: I would, but that would be interferance, and that's against the rules! You should really pay attention to the match, Michael!

GP: Larson from behind with a rollup on Dudley!! 1...2...kickout by Dudley!! Both men quickly to their feet, clothesline by Larson which Dudley ducks, Dudley across the ropes but Dane gets up quickly and gets right in the way for a shoulderblock! Dudley hits the mat and gets right back up!! Larson charges Wilt from behind and nails him in the back of the head! Wilt staggers right into Dudley's arms, BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!! WOW!!

Shallow: That's the LAST move you'd expect to see Dudley pull off! He's really opening his arsenal up for tonight!

GP: Larson quickly capitalizes and runs over Dudley with a clothesline!! Dudley goes up and over the top!! He's right in front of us now!!

PM: I won't touch him, I promise!!

GP: Larson is going to the outside after Dudley...wait no, he goes back inside! He grabs the chair and nails Dane on the back with it for good measure!!

PM: CHEATER!

GP: Larson has that chair now...he heads to the outside with it!! Larson standing over Dudley...he raises the chair and PSYCHIWO MAN GRABS IT FROM HIM!!

PM: DON'T CHEAT!!

GP: PSYCHIWO MAN IS ACTUALLY SAVING MICHAEL DUDLEY!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!! LARSON IS YELLING AT PSYCHIWO MAN, WHO IS YELLING RIGHT BACK AT HIM...DANE WILT FROM ON TOP WITH A MOONSAULT LEVELS LARSON RIGHT TO THE GROUND!! EVERYBODY IS DOWN!!

JT: What are you doing PsychIWO Man!?! I thought you hated Dudley!!

PM: Cheating is illegal!! I won't let anyone cheat in this match!!

Shallow: Dane Wilt pulled off a moonsault, proving even further that everyone wants this title!

GP: Indeed, a very impressive move by Dane.

JT: He's still an asshole.

PM: NO CURSING!!!

JT: SORRY SORRY!!!

GP: Dudley has rolled himself back into the ring...Wilt goes in after him. Larson is still on the ground in front of us. Dudley gets up, but Dane is quick to hit him with a double axhandle, sending the champ back to the mat! Dane pulls Dudley to his feet, whips him to the ropes...Dudley ducks a clothesline, FACE LIFT!!! DANE JUST HIT DUDLEY WITH THE FACE LIFT!! THAT'S IT!! IT'S OVER!! COVER!! 1...2...LARSON PULLS THE REFEREE OFF AND OUT OF THE RING TO THE DELIGHT OF THE FANS!! JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!! LARSON GRABS THE REF AND KNOCKS HIM OUT COLD!!

PM: I won't stand for his cheating anymore!! I'm going to stop this right now!!

(PsychIWO Man takes off the headset.)

GP: PsychIWO Man still has the World Title in his hands...he's yelling at Larson about cheating...Larson looks confused...PSYCHIWO MAN JUST LEVELED BILLY LARSON WITH THE WORLD TITLE!! LARSON WAS JUST KNOCKED RIGHT OUT!! PSYCHIWO MAN IS PICKING UP BILLY LARSON AND CARRYING HIM TO THE BACKSTAGE AREA!! WHAT THE F*CK IS HE DOING?!

JT: Meanwhile, Dane is just having his way with Dudley!! Dudley is still feeling the effects of that Box Office Smash!!

GP: PsychIWO Man has disappeared with Billy Larson in the back area somewhere...meanwhile, Dane Wilt is setting Dudley up on the top turnbuckle!! He gets there on the top rope with him...SUPLERPLEX-NO!! DUDLEY BLOCKS IT!! HE SHOVES DANE OFF THE TOP!! BLACK THURSDAY!! BLACK THURSDAY!! THE CROWD IS ROARING!! DANE WILT JUST GOT NAILED WITH THE BLACK THURSDAY!! THE REF HAS PULLED HIMSELF BACK INTO THE RING!! 1...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... BILLY LARSON HAS SOMEHOW BROKEN FREE!! HE'S FLYING BACK TORWARD'S RINGSIDE!! PSYCHIWO MAN IS CHASING AFTER HIM WITH THE WORLD TITLE BELT IN HIS HANDS!!
2...... ...... ...... ...... ......
NOOOO!!! LARSON JUST BARELY MANAGES TO GET IN THE RING AND STOMP THE REF, STOPPING THE COUNT A MILLISECOND SHORT OF THIS MATCH BEING OVER!!

Shallow: I can't believe it!! I just can't believe it!!

JT: LOOK OUT!!

GP: PsychIWO Man has entered the ring!! He levels Billy Larson with the title!! Dudley is getting up slowly...he sees PsychIWO Man!! He's yelling at him to get out of the ring!! PsychIWO Man is yelling back!! Dane Wilt is getting up behind Dudley!! The crowd is on their feet!! PsychIWO Man rears the World Title back and swings! DUDLEY DUCKS!! DUDLEY DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY!! DANE WILT JUST GOT WAFFLED WITH THE WORLD TITLE!! PSYCHIWO MAN CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! DUDLEY GOES FOR THE COVER!! PSYCHIWO MAN IS JUST STANDING THERE!! A NEW REF IS RUNNING DOWN TO RINGSIDE!! 1....2....3NO!!! LARSON NAILS THE REF JUST BEFORE THE THREE COUNT!! UNBELIEVABLE!!

JT: PSYCHIWO MAN IS FURIOUS AT LARSON!! HE NAILS LARSON ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT WORLD TITLE!! PULLS HIM TO THE TURNBUCKLE...SUPERBOMB!!! SUPERBOMB!! PSYCHIWO MAN HAS JUST WIPED LARSON OUT!! LARSON IS OUT COLD!!

GP: TWO REFS ARE DOWN...DUDLEY AND DANE WILT ARE BOTH GETTING BACK TO THEIR FEET...THEY'RE DUKING IT OUT!! PSYCHIWO MAN IS GOING RABID ON LARSON'S CARCUS!! WILT NAILS DUDLEY, SENDING HIM REELING BACK TO THE ROPES...FACE LIFT!! THATS THE SECOND TIME HE'S HIT IT!! WILT PROPS  DUDLEY STANDING UP...HE GOES TO THE TOP!! BOX OFFICE SMASH!! NO REF IS THERE TO MAKE THE COUNT!! DANE HAS HIM DOWN, THE CROWD IS BOOING THEIR BRAINS OUT!! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5....HERE COMES A REF!! HERE COMES A REF!! HE RUNS TO THE RING, SLIDES IN, 1...2...NO!?!?!?! PSYCHOIWO MAN JUST HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE WORLD TITLE!!

JT: WHAT THE F*CK?!?!

GP: DANE WILT IS GETTING UP IN DISBELIEF!! PSYCHIWO MAN LEVELS HIM WITH THE WORLD TITLE!! HE PULLS DANE BACK UP...SUPERBOMB ON TOP OF LARSON!! DANE WILT IS DOWN!! DUDLEY IS GETTING UP....HE GOES TO THE TOP...BLACK THURSDAY!! BLACK THURSDAY ON BOTH OF THEM!! PSYCHIWO MAN IS JUST WATCHING!?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Shallow: PSYCHIWO MAN GRABS ONE OF THE REFS HANDS AND MAKES THE COUNT!! 1...2...3!!! MICHAEL DUDLEY RETAINS THE TITLE!!?!

GP: BUT WHY WOULD PSYCHIWO MAN HELP HIM?!!

JT: AND EVEN MORE, WHY WOULD HE CHEAT?!?!

("Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" by the Offspring plays as Dudley gets up and starts to celebrate. After a few minutes of that, PsychIWO Man hands him the title belt.)

GP:  I can't believe Michael Dudley is still the champion because of PsychIWO Man!

JT:  Michael Dudley is the man, but I have no clue why that rule-following suck up PsychIWO Man would help him out.

Shallow:  We're about to find out, PsychIWO Man's got a mic!

(PsychIWO Man is standing in the middle of the ring holding the IWO World Title, with Michael Dudley standing across from him.)

PsychIWO Man:  Who would have thought it?  Honestly Mikey, whodathunkit?  After all our matches, all our brawls, backstage and in the ring, who in their right mind would have ever thought that I'd be doing this right now? Even after this past Hostile Takeover when I beat you down and admonished you in front of the world.  Well honestly it doesn't matter who could have thought this up, and who believes it.  But even better is...who would've thought President Jamie would ask me to do it?! As the rule-enforcer of the IWO, I have decided to endorse you as a great champion.  Heck, you don't take crap from anyone, your a hell of a wrestler, and you've got a lovely woman by your side.  So what if you break a few rules, your the champ, you're allowed to.  I, PsychIWO Man, the superhero of the Internet Wrestling Organization, give you permission to break all the rules you want.  But nobody else.  No one else can break the rules set forth by President Kosoy, just Michael Dudley.  So how do you feel about this Michael?

Michael Dudley:  Well, not that I ever needed your permission Jay, but....

PsychIWO Man:  Not Jay, it's PsychIWO Man.

Michael Dudley:  Whatever, PsychIWO Man, it's good to see that you've finally seen the light and are on my side.  This just may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

PsychIWO Man:  Now let's not get all lovey dovey here Michael, the fan's don't need to see that.  The fans want to see the two top wrestlers in the IWO together at last!  Right fans?

(The crowd erupts into boos and begins throwing trash into the ring.)

PsychIWO Man:  What?  HOW DARE YOU ALL!  I have worked day ina nd day out to make this federation a better place and you have the audacity to throw trash at me and the World Champion?

Michael Dudley:  Hey!  Screw you all!  You can all kiss my rich ass!

PsychIWO Man:  Settle down Michael, I know how to calm them.  Hey!  Who wants free Michael Dudley cookies?

(The crowd continues to boo.)

PsychIWO Man:  How about a PsychIWO Man poster with the rules of the IWO imbedded on it?

(More booing and more trash.)

PsychIWO Man:  We're not gonna get these hooligans on our side, but before we leave Michael, I have something to take care of, and your welcome to stay since you have my back now.

Michael Dudley:  Sure, I'll stay.

PsychIWO Man:  Now everyone has seen in the past couple weeks, that some ingrate, some waste of human life has been going around in a Psycho Jay mask and humping the heads of innocent fans, wrestlers, announcers, and even your intern Mark the Intern!

Michael Dudley:  It's disgusting!

PsychIWO Man:  Now this masked man is the referee in my match with Evan Levine on Monday Night Meltdown, but I don't wanna wait until then to find out!  I want the masked man to get his head-humping disgusting BUTT out here right now!

(The crowd pops for the head humper?!?!)

Shallow:  This is amazing.  The crowd boos the world champion....

JT:  But cheers for a masked head humper!  HAHAHAA!  You gotta love the IWO's fans!

GP:  Well it doesn't look like PsychIWO Man or Michael Dudley are leaving until this masked man shows himself.

PsychIWO Man:  I'm not playing around you disgrace to the world.  You will come out and face me right now.  We're not leaving until you show yourself!

Michael Dudley:  Yeah, so hurry your ass up!

(Suddenly, footage of the recent head humping incidents appears on the big screen and the man wearing a Psycho Jay mask steps onto the ramp!)

PsychIWO Man:  Ha, ha, ha, very funny!  But I'm not impressed.  Show some guts and get your HINEY to the ring!

(The masked man looks at the crowd, who cheer him on.)

GP:  They're encouraging the masked head humper!

PsychIWO Man:  That's it you head-humping hoodlum!  Listen to these fans, get down here NOW!

JT:  Here he comes!  The masked man's heading to the ring!

Shallow:  He's getting in PsychIWO Man's face!

GP:  Michael Dudley grabs the masked head humper from behind!  He's holding him for PsychIWO Man!  The masked man is caught in a full nelson, he's struggling to get free!

Shallow:  PsychIWO Man's going for the mask!

JT:  Oh my god!  IT'S VINCENT!  VINCENT WAS THE MASKED HEAD HUMPER!!!

GP:  Vincent hasn't been seen in over a month!  Ever since PsychIWO Man locked him up in the basement of his house and forced him to watch all of Michael Dudley's interviews back to back!  PsychIWO Man is shocked!!!!

PsychIWO Man:  V-V-Vincent?  Umm, hey look buddy, sorry about locking you in the basement all that time.  But it was for your own good.

Vincent:  FUCKING FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKING COCKHEAD FUCKING WHORE MAKING VINCENT FUCKING WATCH THAT FUCKING SHIT FUCKING MICHAEL DUDLEY'S FUCKING SHIT ASS FUCKING SLUTTY WHORE FILLED FUCKING INTERVIEWS FUCKING MAKE VINCENT FUCKING PUKE UP FUCKING CHUNKS.

PsychIWO Man:  Hey, calm down Vince.  I said I was sorry for locking you down there, but that doesn't mean I won't kick your vulgar butt!

Vincent:  FUCKING BRING IT ON MOTHER FUCKER!  FUCKING YOU FUCKING GOT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HEAD UP FUCKING BITCH ASS JAMIE KOSOY'S FUCKING ASS FUCKING SELLOUT RULEFOLLOWING QUEER ASS BITCH PUSSY CUNT!  FUCKING PUNK.

PsychIWO Man:  Don't push me pal.  It was for your own good.  You can't just go around cursing like that, it's un-called for.  I will not tolerate it.

Vincent:  FUCKING TOLERATE VINCENT'S FUCKING COCK IN YOUR FUCKING FACE FUCKER!

(Vincent is about to whip out his infamous massive penis, but PsychIWO Man stops him.)

PsychIWO Man:  No!  Don't do that Vincent!  We can settle this like men!

Vincent:  FUCKING FINE!

GP:  Oh my god, we're gonna have PsychIWO Man taking on his manager and best friend Vincent right here!

JT:  Kill him Vincent!  KILL HIM!

(PsychIWO Man rears back and swings at Vincent, who ducks.  Vincent then swings at PsychIWO Man who ducks.  They both stare at each other.......AND THEN THEY HUG!!)

Shallow:  Wait a second!  They're hugging!

GP:  What the hell......VINCENT AND PSYCHIWO MAN JUST TURNED AND LEVELED MICHAEL DUDLEY WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!!

JT:  Oh shit, they turned on him!

Shallow:  Now they're putting the boots to him!

GP:  Here come Chris Davidson and Rob Kestler.....AND VAGROND!!  This is wrong!  All 4 men are stomping a mudhole on Michael Dudley!  While Vagrond is holding Caren Dudley back!

JT:  This is great!

GP:  No it's not!  Vagrond seems to be molesting Caren Dudley.

Shallow:  He's a 600 pound Gorn, she can't escape!

GP:  Now Kestler grabs Dudley.....CALL FROM BEYOND!  PsychIWO Man picks him up and Davidson nails him with the SEVEN SECOND DELAY!  PsychIWO man tears off the Jamie Kosoy mask and IWO cape!

JT:  Psycho Jay is back!  I knew PsychIWO Man was a fake!

Shallow:  Psycho Jay grabs Michael Dudley's head.....HE'S HUMPING HIS HEAD!  PSYCHO JAY IS BACK AND HUMPING MICHAEL DUDLEY'S HEAD!

GP:  Here comes Gunnar Smith!  He's cut off by Davidson and Kestler!  They toss him out of the ring!  Psycho Jay brings Dudley to the top rope!  SUPERBOMB!  Dudley is out!  G-Dogg can't get into the ring!  Now Vincent grabs Dudley's legs and slaps on the Vincentlock!

JT:  I don't think the body is supposed to bend that way!

Shallow:  Now Jay's got the mic again.

Psycho Jay:  Dudley, you stupid fucking prick.  How the hell could you ever trust me?  After all the shit we've been through, you think I forgot?  You think I ever forget anything?  You almost got me fired because your a scared little fairy.  Acting all big and bad now that your the champ, but what happened when I posed a threat to your little ego?  When you realized I was better than you, and all the thoughts raced through your empty head.  "Oh no....I always called Jay a jobber, but now he's gonna win the World Title before me".  "I'll look stupid if Jay becomes more successful than me!"  Well Dudley, who the fuck looks stupid now?  You thought you could hold me down, but guess what dickhead, I'm ready to come after your sorry ass.  You really think that you can hide behind the World Title huh?  You think your untouchable?  Hell, you must think it because I heard your stupid ass say it the other day.  Well guess what Mikey Boy, you have been touched!  I own you little man.  The IWO World Title?  That's mine!  You'll never be a worthy champion, you'll never be ANYTHING!  You try to act like a bad ass, but you're nothing but a poser!  I....HATE.....POSERS!

(Jay kicks Dudley in the face.)

Psycho Jay:  I tried to be a nice guy.  I tried to follow the rules.  But that didn't get me anywhere!  Jamie acted like he cared, but it's obvious now that Jamie only cares about himself.  So since our "beloved" president doesn't care about anyone else, NEITHER DO I!  Fuck you Dudley, this is about me now.  Psycho Jay is back, no more superhero nerd, this is the new beginning of the HEAD HUMPING ERA!  So Mikey Boy, remember this beating I laid on you.  Remember it because you'll still be feeling it next month.  Remember it because I am the biggest threat to your precious World Title since you won it.  This is far from over Dudley, so until we meet again....HAVE A GREAT DAY.....in the hospital!

(President Jamie runs out. He gets in the ring.)

Jamie: Jay you bastard!! What the f*ck do you think you're doing? Your job was over with making sure Dane didn't win the title...I didn't say make sure Dudley wins, or that to kick his ass afterwards!

Jay: I didn't care!

Jamie: Well you should f*cking care, cause it's your job on the line asshole!

Jay: My job...your life!!

GP: Jay levels Jamie with the World Title belt!! Jamie is down!! What on earth is going on?!! I have no idea!! But we're out of time, we'll see you later!!

(fade out)


OVER 30 OF THE IWO'S BEST
A NETWORK OF SCAFFOLDS HIGH ABOVE THE RING
ONLY ONE CAN WALK AWAY THE WORLD CHAMP

SUNDAY, MAY 28TH, 2000
MAY MAYHEM II