Roxx- WELCOME EVERYBODY TO ANOTHER EDITION OF THE TEDDY ROXX SHOW!!
Nikki- F*CK YOU TEDDY!! THIS IS THE IWO, NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL IMAGE ENHANCER!
BSW- SHE'S RIGHT ROXX!! WELCOME EVERYONE TO AUTUMN IN HELL '99!!! We've got quite the card lined up for you tonight.....some of the greatest matches in IWO history go down tonight!!
Roxx- I personally just want to see that Anti-Gravity match. Nothing like working on no G's to see who's the better man!!
Nikki- This card, for those who don't know, are dedicated to IWO wrestlers Ken War, Chris Anthony, and Reaper...all of which are retiring as of the end of this show!! We'll miss you three!!
BSW- Three great talents being lost here in the IWO, but we all know that at this coming Hostile Takeover at least 9 new faces will make their first apperances here to make up for the loss!!
Roxx- Yeah yeah, I don't care.
Nikki- Well let's not waste any time then! Let's get to the ring!!
BSW - Here we go!!! This one could and will probably go down as the
Roxx - I want to slap me some bare ass.
Nikki - I think all five of these guys have a great chance of LEAVING
BSW - That's just great..
Roxx - And I'm going to take a shit. You guys hold the fort down while
BSW - I think I can do that... Umm... I guess it is just me. All alone,
Nikki - I'm still here but I won't be paying attention Scott. Sorry man...
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She is painting them rainbow
BSW - You know good and well that's just going to bring you trouble.
Nikki - What do you mean?
BSW - That Neil Lutsky character...
Nikki - Oh, he isn't here... I can do whatever I want to with my feet!!!
BSW - Ok... But I warned you. Lets just get up to the ring announcer
Nikki - Do you think I should paint my big toe yellor or pink?
BSW - *rolls eyes*
("Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice begins to play.)
Ring Announcer - This contest is scheduled for WHO CARES!!! Five men
(Ozz Skyles makes his way out. He is dressed like a fly boy. He is dancing
Ring Announcer - I don't know his weight nor his height, nor do I really
(The crowd has gone to the concession stands, sadly Skyles isn't booed
BSW - Well... Ozz Skyles is out!!! He looks ready, I believe he is going
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes again.)
Nikki - Blue or red here???
BSW - I DONT CARE!!! STOP ASKING ME!!! I DONT PAINT MY TOENAILS!!!
Nikki - Oh come on... You can still tell me what color mine should be.
BSW - BACK TO THE RING ANNOUNCER!!!
("Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra plays.)
Ring Announcer - I HAVE A SMALL PENIS!!!
(Hybrid makes his way out. Boy what a good he is. I've never seen anyone
BSW - Hybrid doesn't look like he is ready to wrestle.
(The scene cuts to the back to Hybrid's dressing room. We see tons and
BSW - OH DEAR LORD!!! KIDS DONT TRY THAT AT HOME!!!
(Hybrid has his arms covered up. He must have all kinds of needle wounds
Ring Announcer - Well... Here comes Hybrid. Just look at how shitty
(Hybrid gets in the ring, he waves to Ozz Skyles. He then passes out
BSW - Nikki, Hybrid needs some help?
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes...)
Nikki - Orange here???
BSW - For the last time I don't care!!!
Nikki - I think dark red should go here, or purple...
(The camera pans to the ring. The ring announcer is drinking a beer.)
Ring Announcer - Contestant number three!!!
("I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys plays.)
Ring Announcer - Rob Lewis!!! IT IS YOUR TURN TO COME OUT YOU ASS WIPE!!
(Rob Lewis makes his way out. He looks like one of those N'Sync Degrees
Ring Announcer - Rob Lewis!!! He likes milk and has that little milk
(Lewis is in the ring. He is asking for a microphone.)
Rob Lewis - Are you ready to sing!??!? COME ON!!! YOU'RE THE MUSIC OF
(Just then out runs Rob Zombie!!! He has a satanic depth charger in
BSW - This is getting out of hand. I don't think this needs to go on
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She waves them at the camera.)
Nikki - Green??? How about green Scott?
BSW - DAMN YOU WHORE!!!
Nikki - Don't call me a whore!!! NOW GREEN!!?!?!
BSW - NO!!!
Nikki - What color then???
BSW - PAINT THEM ALL THE SAME DAMN COLOR YOU STUPID TOE SLUT!!!
BSW - Ugh...
("Steal My Sunshine" by Len begins to play. The crowd vomits because
Ring Announcer - Login Douglas!!! Login Douglas!!! A stupid moron is
(Login Douglas makes her way out. I mean his way out. LOL... He looks
Ring Announcer - Look at this dumb ass. He has no weight nor height
BSW - Login Douglas doesn't look prepared either. Maybe these guys need
(The camera pans down to Nikki's toes. She has finished painting them.
BSW - NIKKI!!! Aren't you going to stop him!?!?
Nikki - Nope!!!
(Neil continues to suck away... he is having TOO MUCH fun, if you know
(The camera pans down to the nail polish bottles. On the side it reads,
BSW - YOU KILLED HIM!!! YOU KILLED THE IWO's VERY OWN FOOT LOVER!!!
Nikki - Stay away from my toes!!!
(Neil's neck is starting to melt from the rat poison. It is a sick site.
BSW - WHY did you do that?
Nikki - Revenge for women everywhere!!!
BSW - Don't you realize your toenails could rot off after you put rat
Nikki - Nope, they wont!!! I put rat poison protection on them before
BSW - You smart slut you.. I wonder how Teddy Roxx is doing..
(The scene cuts to the bathroom. We hear funny noises coming from a
BSW - Doesn't sound to good...
Ring Announcer - Here comes the second IWO drunk!!! Too bad he didn't
("The Greatest" by Kenny Rogers begins to play.)
(the camera pans down to the floor where Nikki is putting her shoes
BSW - FOCUS ON THE RING DAMN IT!!! FOCUS!!! FOCUS!!!
(Jack Daniels makes his way out. He sucks.)
BSW - He is drunk. Just look at that sick bastard. What a dumb ass.
Nikki - My toes are all sticky now.
BSW - I guess so!!! You have rat poison on them!!!
Nikki - t-hehehehhehe
Ozz Skyles runs at Jack Daniels, he trips over Hybrid and falls onto
Eliminated #1 - Rob Lewis
Hybrid is starting to get up. He wants more heroin. Just then a bag
BSW - This is getting out of hand. We still have 4 men left. I don't
("Them Bones" by Alice in Chains begins to play.)
LOOK!!! Coming down the isle!!! It CANT BE!!! OH MY GOD!!! A BONE IS
BSW - IT IS HIM!!! HE IS BACK!!! DAN KORDIC IS BACK!!!
Nikki - MY TOES ARE ALL WET!!!
Dan Kordic (bone) gets into the ring. He swings himself and smacks Jack
Eliminated #2 - Jack Daniels
Dan Kordic swings himself at Hybrid!!! HYBRID TRIES TO INJECT A HEROIN
Eliminated #3 - Hybrid!!!
BSW - This is unreal!!! Dan Kordic could win yet ANOTHER match... the
Nikki - I think I need to go clean my toes off.. I'll be right back..
Dan Kordic is on a roll!!! Login Douglas grabs Dan Kordic!!! He bone
BSW - This could be it for Dan Kordic!!!
Login Douglas is pointing down at Dan Kordic!!! He is going for a flying
Eliminated #4 - Login Douglas
BSW - Two men left!!! Dan Kordic and Ozz Skyles!!! The loser will be
BSW - WAIT!!! I have no one to respond to me!!! WAIT!!! LOOK!!! WHAT
(A large sphere shaped object appears over the ring. A voice is heard.)
Voice - I thought I told you to stay away from these humans!!!
Dan Kordic - But I was asked to come back just for this one special
Voice - I DONT CARE!!! DIE!!!
(The large sphere shaped object blasts Dan Kordic... He explodes...)
BSW - OH MY GOD NO!!!
Voice - Now that he has been taken care of you... YOU ARE NEXT!!!
(The large sphere shaped object blasts Ozz Skyles... His head implodes
BSW - I don't believe this!!!
(The Ashes of Dan Kordic are forming together!!! THEY HAVE FORMED A
Winner - DAN KORDIC!!!
BSW - HE DID IT!!! HE WON!!! HE HAS WON TWO MATCHES IN A ROW!!! Dan
(Nikki makes her way back out. She looks a lot better than when she left.)
BSW - Do you feel better?
Nikki - Yes, my toes are all clean now!!! heheheh!!!
(Teddy Roxx makes his way out. He is walking funny as if he has something
BSW - Everything come out alright?
Roxx - Hemroids suck ass...
BSW - You missed it!!! All five men are gone from the IWO!!!
Roxx - AWWW!!! DAMN!!! SUCH A DAMN SHAME!!! BOO F'n WHO!!!
BSW- You're unbelievable Nikki.
Nikki- Watch out toelickers everywhere.....Nikki is on the case!
Roxx- You are so corny.
BSW- Let's get to the ring, ok? What a match we have next! A triple threat!
Nikki- But two of the three suck!
Roxx- Nuh uh!
Nikki- You do that to annoy me don't you??
Roxx- Yep yep yep!
Ring Announcer- And the next match.. scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. Standing 7'2, weighing in at 320 pounds, he is Jassssson Nasshhh!!!
["Blue Monday" by Orgy plays, as Nash walks to the ring, with Tallguy]
Ring Announcer- Introducing next. Standing 6'3, weighing in at 273 pounds, he is Dave "Da Bomb" Dexxxxterrr!!
["Holla Holla" by Ja Rule blares. Dave Dexter sprints to the ring, Cindy following behind]
Ring Announcer- Last. Standing 6'2 weighing in at 236 pounds, Dwight D. Nobodyyyyyyyy!
["Steamroller" by Kilgore starts. Dwight just sprints to the ring]
Ding Ding Ding!
BSW- Here we go! Dwight goes right after Nash! Big mistake! They are duking it out! Right by Nobody, Right by Nash! Another right by Dwight! Nobody grabs Nash's head and drives it into the turnbuckles!
Roxx- Ya see, Dexter there is smart. He lets the small guy wear down the big guy, and the small guy get worn out, then he attacks.
Nikki- Something smart from Roxx? Amazing!
BSW- Isn't it?? Well, Dwight stomps Nash a couple times. Nash being pulled to his feet. Dwight whips him off the ropes. Drop toe hold!Nash's head drove into it hard! Dexter runs in, legdrop to the back of the head! Nash has to be hurt. Dwight and Dexter now hammering away on each other. Dexter whips Nobody into the turnbuckles. Dexter runs in. Clothesline! Dwight stumbles out....Northern Lights Suplex! The bridge...
Nikki- Dwight has some skill.
Roxx- But Nash has a size advantage!
BSW- But neither are winnning right now are they?
Roxx- Good point!
BSW- Nash finally gets back up! He is ducked down behind Dave Dexter, who is waiting for Dwight to get up! Dwight runs. Spinning Heel Kick! Dexter backflips right over Nash! Nash rolls him up. No. Dwight breaks the pin. He pulls Nash up. Kick to the gut. Suplex! No blocked by Nash. Nash holds him.. holds him..and drives him to the mat with a vertical suplex/neckbreaker combo.
Nikki- How can these men take that sort of punishment? Being held 7 feet in the air, straight up, then have your neck drove into someone's shoulder? Amazing!
Roxx- Damn straight!
BSW- Nash picks Dwight up. Body slam. No.. He pulls him up. Gorilla press slam! But he throws him to the outside! He lands on the mats! Now Nash turning for Dexter. But Dexter is up. Nash meets a clothesline! He is still up! Dexter off the ropes. Another! He goes off! One more!Nash ducks! Overhead chokeslam! The cover!
3!! No! The Ref says he kicked out! Nash picks him up. Dexter reverses a whip into the turnbuckles. Dexter runs in. Knee to the chin! Dexter quickly sets him up top. Here it is! The top rope jackhammer! The Ground Zero!
Winner- Dave "Da Bomb" Dexter
Roxx- Dwight is already gone!
BSW- What a match! Dexter with an impressive win!
Nikki- Dexter moves up the ranks....but we've got to get to the locker room!
BSW- And here we are, showing the lockeroom of the America West Arena
Roxx- Hardcore rules!!!
BSW- As we see Killa coming to the ring, wait a second!!!! Its Thug
BSW- The bell is sounding, this hardcore match is starting in the
Nikki- This is disgusting
Roxx- So are you!!
BSW- There are wrestlers all around watching as they two men go at it!!
Roxx- OOOOOOO thats gonna leave a mark
Nikki- So will this
BSW- Both men are all ready busted wide open!!! They are slowly making
Roxx- Where are they??
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! Up there!! Look, Thug Life and Killa are on top of
Nikki- NO, NO!!!
Roxx- YES, YES!!!!
BSW- Thug Life is nearing the edge, OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Killa nailed a
Nikki- Good Lord!!!
BSW- Thug Life is lying motionless and bloody on the damn entrance ramp!!!!
BSW- He kicked out, he kicked out!!! Thug Life kicked ouit after falling
Roxx- How the hell????
Nikki- This is disgusting!!
BSW- Thug Life can barely stand!!! Killa picks him up and they head
Roxx- Now the fun starts!!!
Nikki- Shut up!!
BSW- He throws the can in the ring and grabs a 2X4 out of it. He winds
BSW- NO NO Killa kicked out of Thug's finisher!!!! Both men are down!!!
Roxx- Come on get up!!!
BSW- Both men are up, Killa for a clothesline but Thug ducks and nails
Nikki- What is that for??
Roxx- Maybe to mute you!!
BSW- Thug whips Killa to the outside and grabs the remote
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! That wasn't a remote, that was a detonator!!!! He
Roxx- I know you are!!
BSW- Thug is going to the outside and he is bringing Killa to the back
BSW- They have again fought to the lockeroom!! Killa grabs a coffee
Nikki- He must have 3rd degree burns
Roxx- Is that what he MUST have??
BSW- They are now in the bathroom!!! Killa tries to slam Thug into the
Roxx- At least now there are both burnt!!!
BSW- Thug grabs Killa, OH MY GOD!!! Tombstone piledriver into the toilet!!!!
Nikki- Thats intelligent!!!
BSW- Thug is calling the ref over!
BSW- Killa kicked out!!!
Nikki- Unbelievable!!! They are now moving outside!!! They are actually
Roxx- Run someone over!!!
Nikki- Shut up!
BSW- Thug grabs Killa and goes for the Burnout but Killa counters into a
bulldog onto the hood of a car!!!!!
Roxx- HEY!!!! THATS MY CAR!!!!!
BSW- Both men are standing on the top of Teddy's car, OH MY GOD!!! Killa
BSW- Thug life kicked out!!
Roxx- MY CAR!!!!
Nikki- Smash it some more!!
Roxx- Shut up b*tch!!
BSW- Killa grabs Thug and the two are headed back to the arena.
Roxx-(sobbing) MY BEAUTIFUL CAR!!!
Nikki- Quit complaining you baby!!!
BSW- The two are back out to the arena but they are not headed for the
Nikki- Uh oh
BSW- The two men are punching eachother as they make their way up the
Nikki- LOOK OUT!!
Roxx- ITS GONNA GO!!
BSW- Thug Life grabs Killa, Tiger Driver '91!!! The most devistating
twenty feet to the concrete floor!!!
Nikki- OH MY GOD!!
Roxx- They're dead!!!
BSW- Wait!!!! Thug Life is moving!! He lays his hand across Killa, the
BSW- Its over, its over!!! Thug Life has defeated Killa in an extreme
Nikki- What a match!!!!
Roxx- MY CAR!!!!!
Nikki- Oh get over it. You know the company buys you a new one every month anyway. It always breaks.
Roxx- Yeah, but it's my car.....
BSW- WHO CARES?! NEXT MATCH!
Nikki- Yes please! We now have a Nut House match, a place Inferno belongs in the way he's been acting the last couple of weeks.
Roxx: He was just being horny baby!
BSW: Does putting on penis suits and... wait a second...
Roxx: You see!
BSW: Well, let's go live via sattelite to the Nut House!
(Scene opens up to a nut house. Fugite is seen at one side of the "hospital for the mentally disabled" and Inferno at the other.)
BSW: Let's get it on. Fugite and Inferno have started off at opposite ends of the nut house.
Roxx: My question is why? They could have started off at the same place.
BSW: I have been told, Fugite is on the third floor, and Inferono on the first.
Nikki: It adds more effect?
Roxx: Well, since it's apparent, they won't find each other for a while, Nikki, how bout me and you, ya know.
Nikki: How bout, no!
BSW: Wait, Inferno presses the elevator button, and Fugite comes rushing out! Inferno and Fugite have started a brawl in the nut house. Fugite with a kick to the stomach. Fugite now whams Inferno into the elevator door. Fugite and Inferno now on the elevator up.
Roxx: The elevator doors open and a a nurse falls down!
Nikki: That nurse just went into total shock when she saw two men were fighting on the elevator, and look, that man in a straight jacket has just trudged his way out of a window!
Roxx: This is why I love the IWO.... hey that nurse has on no underwear... zoom in on that.
BSW: Let's not and say we did. Fugite has Inferno for a powerbomb, reversed into a back body drop. Inferno now picks Fugite up, DDT! Fugite is down, Inferno with a quick cover, one... two... kickout!
Roxx: ZOOM IN ON THE NURSE!
Nikki: Shut up! Inferno picks Fugite up and sends him flying into the receptionist desk!
(Phone rings, Inferno answers.)
Inferno: Hello? No, your daddy is not sane yet, he's insane, so shut up!
Nikki: Now that was pretty rude.
Roxx: From behind, Fugite low blows Inferno, Russian Leg Sweep!
BSW: Fugite now with a quick cover, one... two... kickout by Inferno.
Nikki: Fugite takes Inferno and throws him into a patient's room. The patient is...
Roxx: NO! DON'T DO THAT! IT JUST SHOWS YOU CAN'T GET NO REAL WOMEN!!!!
BSW: Now that's just sick. Fugite throws Inferno into the guy! Inferno has some of that.... you know... on him!
Roxx: Hey Nikki, I could really satisfy you like that guy just satisfied himself. What do ya say?
BSW: Fugite is just laughing. He takes Inferno and sends him back to the main lobby of the third floor. They are brawling it out and Inferno sends Fugite through a door and down a flight of stairs!
Roxx: That had to hurt. And now, Inferno rides the steel rail, and lands right on Fugite!
Nikki: I guess that's a butt splash.
Roxx: NO! ANAL SEX IS JUST GROSS!
Nikki: Will you please take sex off your mind?
BSW: Inferno now picks Fugite up and throws him down another flight of stairs, and hits another butt splash! AND HE DOES IT AGAIN!
Roxx: We are now on the main floor, Inferno in complete control. Inferno kicks, Fugite in the stomach, BACKDRAFT!!! IT'S OVER!
BSW: YES IT IS!! One... Two... NO KICKOUT!! FUGITE KICKED OUT!!!!
Nikki: Inferno can't believe it, he's stomping the hell out of Fugite!
Roxx: Hey, look at that nurse, she looks pretty shagadellic!
BSW: Inferno picks Fugite up, clothesline is ducked. LOST TIME!!! Fugite with a cover, one... two.... kickout!
Roxx: WOW, INFERNO KICKED OUT OF A FINISHER, HOW ORIGINAL!
Nikki: Inferno gets up and blocks a punch, and drop kicks Fugite out of the nuthouse. Inferno now runs up the stairs, Fugite quickly follows! Inferno goes to the second floor and locks a door.
Roxx: The door opens and Inferno comes out and spears Fugite, but he has on a penis suit!!!! That's just one horny bastard.
Nikki: HE'S INSANE!! NOT HORNY!!
BSW: Inferno takes the Penis suit off and throws it away. He picks Fugite up, backbreaker. Fugite comes back up and is clotheslined down. Inferno in complete control!
Roxx: Yeah baby, yeah!
Nikki: Inferno picks Fugite up, backdraft through the floor!!! That's some bad flooring, cus Fugite just went down a whole story onto the hard floor. Inferno jumps down after him and falls down!
Roxx: Why jump? Why not just take the stairs?
BSW: Fugite may be dead, and Inferno may have broken both of his legs, just another match in IWO PPV History.
Roxx: Inferno tries to get up but falls right back down!
BSW: Inferno crawling at Fugite, he makes a cover, one... two... three!!!! It's over, get some medics there right now.
Roxx: Why, they are already in a hospital.
BSW: Good point...
Nikki- Y'know, this pay per view is really messed up. We have a match in a nut house, a match in an anti-gravity chamber, and now we got one in French Maid Outfits? This match is gonna be sick.
Roxx- This match is gonna be cool! It is gonna be in some kitchen!
BSW- Yep! And they are both in french maid outfits! Even better!
Nikki- Why is that better??
BSW- Umm... Lets go live to the kitchen...
-[Camera shows the IWO screen thingy. A split of Shane and Shadow is show. They are walking. Shadow is going through a parking lot, and Shane is going through the dining room. Shane reaches the kitchen and waits for Shadow]-
BSW- Well, Shane is there first. This isn't the first time we saw Shane wearing that.
Roxx- Yeah. But Hostile Meltdown was funny! That man ran out and kissed him!
Nikki- Hahaha yes it was!
-[Flash to screen again. Shadow enters through a back door. As he does, a knive flys at his head]-
BSW- Shane throwing knives at Shadow! He throws two more! And Shadow is...pinned to the door? Shane has an incredible aim!
Roxx- I'd say! Most people have to go to some knive throwing school!
BSW- Shane running in. Running knee lift! He kicks Shadow. Shane grabs a metal spatula and swings at Shadow. Shadow ducks. He pulls the knives out, and ducks in time to get under a mule kick by Shane. Shadow grabs Shanes foot.Pushes Shane into the wooden counter top. Shane rolls on top of it. Shadow runs in. Splash! The counter cracked! Shane is pulled off by Shadow. Shadow sets him up on his shoulders. TKO onto the counter! It snaps! Shane is left in a pile of splinters. Shadow looking around for something.....waitaminute!! Psycho Jay!!! Psycho Jay is here!! He has a canoe?!?!
Nikki- What is Jay doing?!
Roxx- A canoe?!
BSW- Jay just nailed Shane with a canoe!!! Shadow didn't even see it!!! Jay is running away, but the damage has been done!!! Shadow is still searching!!!
Nikki- A canoe is bad...but this is gonna get brutal! Wait til they spot the deep fryers!
Roxx- No. They turned those off. That sucks.
Nikki- And I think thats what Shadow was looking for. He spotted them!
BSW- He has Shane now. Scoops him up. Body slam into the deep fryers! Shadow is wondering why Shane isn't frying... Shane reaches up and grabs him by the throat! Shane choking him!Shadow slips on the fat dripping off Shane! Shadow flat on his back! Shane rolls out of the fryer onto Shadow for the cover!
Nikki- Shane making typical rookie mistakes. Sloppy cover.
Roxx- Shut up!
BSW- Shane now back up. He has a plate from off the counter. Smashes it over Shadow's head! Broken glass all over the floor. Shane picks him up. Suplex onto the linolium floor! Shane hurt himself there too. Shane with a nip up. He walks along the counter, pulling stuff off it onto Shadow. Forks, spoons, napkins, a rolling pin, among other things. Shane covers again.
Nikki- Shane is getting mad!
Roxx- I'd say! He is beating Shadow with the rolling pin!
BSW- Shadow looks hurt. Shane stands him on the counter. He climbs up. Kick to the gut. The Prime TIme Death Drop (Top Rope DDT, well, ddt off the counter)! Shane just moves his arm over Shadow.
Winner- Shane Andrews
BSW- That was great!
Nikki- No it wasn't...
Roxx- Oh well! I just want to know what the f*ck Psycho Jay was doing there.
Nikki- So do I.
BSW- Ditto. Hopefully Hostile Takeover will shed some light. Right now, we have to get to ringside once again. This next match is important to Tony Davis, but extra special to CA.
Roxx- Davis wants the NA title once again...CA wants to leave the fed on a high note!
Nikki- Who will be the better man?
Ring Announcer - This match is the fight for Luscious.... winner gets the NNorth American Title match... coming to the ring... weighing in at 235 pounds... Chris Anthony!!
("Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'n' Roses plays as CA comes to the ring.)
Ring Announcer - And his opponent....
(Tony Davis walks out....)
Ring Announcer - TONY DAVIS!!!!
BSW - Well... the bell has rung...OH MAN...Davis just rushed Anthony and they are really going at it. They are exchanging right and lefts and neither wants to back down from the other man. Suddenly, both men go to rake the others' eyes and are both blindened from it for a second...
Roxx - HAHA..what a bunch of retards. Ouch...Tony Davis just grabbed Anthony and just flung him toward the other turnbuckle and Anthony hit hard. He now falls down and his back seems to be in severe pain. HAHA..get him Tony Davis...beat that moron up.
BSW - Shutup..here comes Tony Davis who picks up Anthony and whips him to the ropes. He then bends down and is about to catch Chris Anthony with a back body drop...but Chris Anthony sees it and kicks Tony Davis right in the face. Chris Anthony then walks over to him and kicks him in the gut. He then puts Davis between his legs and picks him up...AND DOWN with a humungous powerbomb!! Oh man...the crowd is going to crazy and Davis is hurt!!
Nikki - Chris Anthony then comes over and picks Davis up who is still feeling the pain and the after effect of that huge Chris Anthony powerbomb. Chris Anthony then punches Davis in the face and Davis punches right back. Chris Anthony then just thumbs Davis in the eye and picks him up and down hard with a bodyslam! CA then picks him up and whips him towards the rope...and on the way back Tony Davis ducks a clothesline and goes the other way...oh man..flying clothesline by Tony Davis as the crowd goes wild. He then comes over and picks up CA and whips him to the corner. He rushes right after him but Tony Davis moves out of the way and Anthony hits himself right in the chest...
BSW - Wow..and look at that...Tony Davis comes in from behind and rolls Anthony up...the count...1...2...NO! That was close but both men are right back up and are punching away right at eachother. They then lock up but Tony Davis gets the advantage and gets Anthony in a side headlock...but Anthony whips Tony Davis right into the ropes and catches him with a back body drop out of the RING on the way back!! WoW...what a move!!
Roxx - But wait a minute..that was nothing...look at this...here comes Chris Anthony....he whips himself off the ropes and hits Tony Davis with a suicide dive through the ropes to the outside!! WOW...what a move!! Both men are down but Chris Anthony gets up first and picks Tony Davis up but slams him right down to the mat..
Nikki - Wait a minute..what is that madman doing now? He is getting on the ring apron and starts running and JUMPS off the apron and down onto Davis with a huge, Mic Foley-type elbow drop! What a move!! Chris Anthony is crazy...but wait a minute..he walks right over and picks Davis right back up and slams him right back down...what the hell is he doing?!?
Roxx - Holy sh*t...he is going back up on the apron and goes all the way up TO THE TOPE ROPE!!! He looks at the crowd who are going crazy and jumps off the tope rope and to the floor attempting for a HUMUNGOUS ELBOW DROP! OH NO...Davis just moved out of the way...and Chris Anthony may have broken his own elbow with that unbeleivable move...man...Chris Anthony is in big trouble...
BSW - JT is missing all of the hardcore action, and the blood!
Nikki - I'm glad that idiot isn't here.
Roxx - Davis just calmly walks over to Chris Anthony and picks him up...he moves him over to the ring post and puts him in a hammer lock and drives him SHOULDER FIRST into that steel ring post!! Chris Anthony is hurt but Davis picks him right up and wraps his arm right around the ring post and pulls as CA is screaming in pain because of his hurt arm...
Nikki - There you go...dislocate it...be RUTHLESS!! Davis then picks him up off the ground and rolls him right back into the ring. Davis gets in the ring very slowly and is beginning to act just a little bit cocky like he has CA beat...but that may be a mistake...CA is crazy...he may pull something off here...
BSW - You damn right its a mistake..but Davis comes over and is right back on top of Anthony..he is stomping all over his fallen opponent and is concentrating on the arm and elbow...he then picks Anthony up and whips him into the corner..he rushes in and catches him with a huge clothesline...Chris Anthony is in trouble..
Roxx - You damn right he's in trouble...Davis now picks Chris Anthony up and sits him on the top turnbuckle as the fans are going crazy when they see Tony Davis going up there with him. Tony Davis now hooks Chris Anthony and they come off the top with a huge SUPERPLEX!!! Unbeleivable...
Nikki - But both men are down and seem to have been hurt because of that last move...but wait a minute..Tony Davis is moving and covrers Chris Anthony..1..2..NO! Tony Davis seems shocked but gets up anyway with still a very shocked expression on his face as Chris Anthony seems to be laughing. What the hell? This guy is nuts..he likes pain...look at him...he is laughing...holy crap..
BSW - But Tony Davis isn't letting that distract him..he picks Chris Anthony up and puts him between his legs. He then picks him up..holds him up there..and down into a PILEDRIVER! Man..did you see Chris Anthony's head bounce off the mat there? Holy crap...Tony Davis covers him...1..2...NO!!!!!!!!! What the hell? Tony Davis is in shock and whips Chris Anthony into the ropes...
Roxx - But Chris Anthony ducks a clothesline and catches Davis with a cross body block on the way back to a huge pop from the crowd...here's the pin...1...2...NO! Almost...but not good enough..both men get up very staggered but have enough in them to start whacking at eachother with rights and lefts all over the place. Suddenly, Anthony gets the advantage and whips Davis into the ropes and catches him with a huge powerslam on the way back..cover...1...2...thr...NO!!! Unbeleivable...
Nikki - Now Anthony is shocked...he picks Davis up who rakes him in the eye...oh crap...here it comes...the Davis §lam is upon us..but Anthony gets away and is waiting on Davis from behind....there it is...that paralyzing submission maneuvre...sharpshooter....Davis is fighting it but Anthony has it on tight...but Davis gets to the ropes and CA breaks the hold...
Roxx - Davis still down from that hold. Anthony going under the ring again.... a TABLE!!! A TABLE!!! ANOTHER TABLE!!! THREE TABLES!!!! HE'S INSANE!!!! He's STACKING THEM UP!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!!! He thows Davis on top of all of them...... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Nikki - This is sick!
BSW - Chris Anthony going to the top rope, with Davis on those three tables, high up!! This is going to be suicide!! HE'S GOING TO DO A FLYING ELBOW DROP!!!! NO!!!!!! DAVIS MOVED!!! HE ROLLED OFF OF ALL THOSE TABLES!!!! CHRIS ANTHONY FELL THROUGH ALL 3 OF THOSE TABLES.... ELBOW FIRST!!!! ANTHONY IS OUT!!! Davis is kinda out. Davis gets his arm over Chris Anthony...... 1......
Roxx - 2.......
Nikki - 3!!!!!!!!!
Ring Announcer - The winner of this match... number one contender for the North American Title... and keeps Lucsious... Tony Davis!!
Nikki - MY GOD!!! THAT'S HARDCORE!!! The two are both out in the ring, and bleeding badly!
Roxx - That was pretty cool!
BSW - It was unbelievable.....Tony Davis is getting up slowly, as well as Chris Anthony.....Lucsious is not happy here...Davis hands her over to CA, and raises Anthony's hand up! What a sign of sportsmanship by Davis!!
Roxx- What a pansy.
Nikki- Tony Davis does something nice. What a guy. Next match please.
BSW- The men are all clearing the ring....so let's get to this next match!
Roxx - Between two men that pretty well suck.
Nikki - Hey, think of it, Teddy. If they sucked, how could they get the Telelvision Title, and TV Title shot?
Roxx - Well.... good point. Never thought of it that way.
BSW - HAHA!! Well, let's get to the intros.
Ring Announcer - This match is scheuled for one fall and for the TV Title.... making his way to the ring... weighing in at 257 pounds... SCOTT CUNIGAN!!
("Train of Consequnces" by Megadeath plays as Cugigan enters the ring.)
Ring Announcer - And his opponent.... weighing in at 276 pounds... being accompained by Lindley Taber.... the IWO TV Champion.... JOHN McRAE!!
("Mouth" by Bush plays as Lindley comes to the ring behind McRae and waits at ringside.)
*DING DING DING!!!!!*
Roxx - And there's the bell...and holy crap...this is strange...McRae just bumrushed Cunigan and knocked him right down with an immediately clothesline. John McRae now picks him up...runs to the ropes and takes the Cunigan down with a huge RIGHT HAND!!
BSW - WOW, these are unusual tactics from this usually techincal wrestler. And now, look at this, McRae picks Cunigan up and is about to throw him to the outside, but the Cunigan slaps his hand away and begins to punch McRae. A right, a left...and holy crap...McRae just gouged Cunigan in the eye and just punched him so hard that Cunigan went over the top rope and all the way to the outside!!
Nikki - I hope they don't come over here!
Roxx - WOW, McRae is really putting some power behind those blows and
he now follows Cunigan to the outside. As soon as McRae gets outside he
runs at Cunigan and clotheslines him right over the RAILING!
BSW - Damn..McRae is being vicious. He now looks at the fans and raises his hands as they continue to cheer. Cunigan now falls from the railing and is in tremendous amount of pain...
Roxx - Well, wouldn't you be in..oh MY BAD..you wouldn't..HAHA...
BSW - Shutup you retard.....
Nikki - Calm down boys....holy crap...McRae now walks over to the announcer's table and is grabbing a CHAIR! He now walks over to the fallen Cunigan and picks him up...OH MAN...only to knock him right back down with a vicious CHAIR SHOT!! McRae now goes up on the ring apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He is waiting up there with the chair still in his hand and is waiting for Cunigan to get up. Cunigan now gets up and OH MY GOD...VAMPYRE JUST HIT HIM RIGHT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!
Roxx - WOW!! That had to hurt!! John McRae is showing all of us here that he is a little more than just a technical Wrestler right here tonigth. He now drops the chair right beside Cunigan and picks the Cunigan up. He now rolls him back into the ring and follows him right in...
BSW - But look at that, the fans are starting a "CUNIGAN" chant and Cunigan seems a bit alive! The fans are really helping him out as Cunigan has a very intense look on his face. John McRae now picks him up and shoves him into the ropes and attempts a back body drop on the way back, but telegraphs it too much and Cunigan kicks him right in the chest. WOW! We heard that one all the way up here!!
Roxx - Shutup..they know that..so did they. Cunigan now walks over to McRae and whips him into the turnbuckle...he rushes in after him and splashes him in the corner!! As McRae triest to fall down, Cunigan picks him back up and climbs the turnbuckle...he begins to punch McRae...
(Fans count along as Cunigan pounds on McRae with punches: ONE..TWO..THREE..FOUR..FIVE..SIX.. SEVEN..EIGHT..NINE..TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Nikki - WOW..the fans are really into this one and are really behind Cunigan. Cunigan now picks McRae up and puts him in a side headlock, but John counters with a Belly to Back suplex and gets right up. John now gets down on the ground with Cunigan and turns him over on his stomach. He now puts Cunigan in the Armbar and will not let go...
Roxx - WOW...Cunigan is screaming in pain...his arm is breaking as we speak! But that retard won't give up! GIVE UP YOU MONKEY faced retard!! Well, after a minute, John finally breaks the hold and picks Cunigan up. He now whips Cunigan to the ropes and attempts a clothesline on the way back, but Cunigan ducks. BUT OH MAN..on the way back Vampyre catches Cunigan in an Abdominal Stretch...and Cunigan is now screaming in pain!!
BSW - Why do you two keep saying 'WOW'?
Nikki - 'Cause it's unbelievable.
Roxx - You said it too, Scott.
BSW - Yeah, Once!
Roxx - Well, that counts!
BSW - *sigh*
Nikki - Quit trying to be me!
BSW - Why in the hell would I wanna be a girl?!
Nikki - I don't know. But you sighed.
BSW - So. Doesn't everyone?
Roxx - BACK TO WRESTLING!! There's a Television Title match here.
Nikki - Look at that...Cunigan is not giving up...he is really showing me something here. In fact, he is showing all of these fans something as they are really getting behind Cunigan. He is still in pain but seems to be getting power from the fans and HIP TOSSES McRAE RIGHT OFF OF HIM!!!
Roxx - Cunigan now has a huge burst of energy and runs at McRae and clotheslines him right down to the mat! He know picks McRae up and whips him to the ropes, but McRae reverses it and whips Cunigan to the ropes. McRae misses a superkick on the way back, a clothesline on the next, BUT CATCHES Cunigan IN A SLEEPER HOLD THE THIRD TIME AROUND!!
BSW - WOW..what a sequence of moves between these two fine atheletes. But McRae seems to have Cunigan almost completely out cold! The referee walks over and raises Cunigan's hand for the ONE. The fans now begin to cheer Cunigan on. There's the TWO. Just one more. But the fans are going ecstatic and start that "Cunigan" chant as his hand DROPS for the third time..NO!!
Nikki - There... you said wow again!
BSW - OH F'N WELL!! I'm gonna say it all I want.
Roxx - WOW..Cunigan is now getting pumped by all of this crowd support! He is on his feet and turns it into a side headlock as he elbows McRae right in the gut. AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! He now gets out of the hold and runs towards the ropes..CROSS BODY BLOCK BY Cunigan..and there's the FIRST PIN OF THE MATCH..ONE..TWO..TH..NO!! John McRae kicks out..it definitely won't be that easy..this guy beat BRS and BUSTA BYRD in one WEEK!!
BSW - Well, you're right about that, but Cunigan is not deterred at all! He gets right up and knocks John McRae down with a clothesline. He now picks him up and kicks him right in the gut. He puts him between his legs..AND OH MAN..A HUGE POWERBOMB!!! Cunigan now covers John McRae..ONE..TWO..THR..NO!!!!!!!!!!! What a kick out!!
Roxx - Wow! Vampyre is tough. Both men get up and rush at eachother and THEY BUMP HEADS! OUCH! That could've hurt. The referee's count is up to 5 but Vampyre crawls over and covers Cunigan..ONE..TWO..NO!!! Both men now pull themselves up to their feet but McRae gets up first and walks over to Cunigan and begins to stomp him on the leg!
Nikki - OH MAN! We all know where this is leading. And he is still working on Cunigan's leg. And here it comes! THERE IT IS!! McRae is hooking it on and has it on..Cunigan is feeling the figure-four leg lock!! His leg is literally snapping. I don't' know how he is experiencing this humungous amount of pain!!
Roxx - I know what you mean..and look at him..he still ISN'T SUBMITTING! WOW..HE HAS GOT GUTS! AND LISTEN TO THE FANS..WOW!!
BSW - Folks, the fans here are going crazy and are chanting for Cunigan to get to the ropes. AND LOOK AT THAT!! Cunigan GETS TO THE ROPES AND McRAE IS SHOCKED!!! WOW!! THIS GUY IS TENCIOUS AS HELL!! But oh no..McRae breaks the hold and drags Scot Cunigan to the corner of the ring... McRae goes to the other side... OH NO!!! CUNIGAN UP.... McRAE RUNS.... SPEAR!!!! IT'S THE HEART PIERCING STAKE!!!! Lindley outside watching, cheering and claping. COVER FROM McRAE...... 1..... 2......3!!!!!!
Ring Announcer - Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, and STILL IWO Television Champion...... JOHN "VAMPYRE" McRAE!!!
BSW - Still IWO TV Champ... wow!
Nikki - See you said wow again!
Roxx - Hey, Nikki, that's only what whor.... uh-oh...........
*SLAP SLAP SLAP*
Roxx - DAMNIT!!
BSW - McRae is leaving the ring. Wait! Scott Cunigan has a mic! What could this be?
Scott Cunigan - Where do you think you're going, Vampyre!? You know that this isn't over! Now, get your ass back in here and face me like a man!
Roxx - What Scott said must've struck a nerve, because Vampyre's getting back in the ring. He's geting in the ring, and...RIGHT IN SCOTT CUNIGAN'S FACE!
Roxx - This place is going to explode if these two start back up!
BSW - Cunigan and McRae jawing with each other now.... What's this? Cunigan is backing up, and he has a smile on his face! I don't like the looks of this!
(The lights go completely out, and Breaking the Law by Judas Priest starts to play. The crowd is going absolutely nuts!)
Roxx - What the Hell is this!?
BSW - Would you shut the Hell up!? I think I can see some movement in the ring...
(The lights go back up, and we can see John McRae surrounded by AAA!!!)
BSW - IT'S AAA! THEY'VE GOT VAMPYRE ENCIRCLED! EVEN SPIDER AND JOHN SMYTHE ARE IN THE CIRCLE!
Roxx - That's not all! They've all got chairs! Well, except for Mad Max, but he has Bat! YES! YES! YES! THE RING IS ABOUT TO BECOME BLOODSOAKED!!
BSW - Only Scott Cunigan is outside of the circle. Check out that look on Cunigan's face! He's loving this!
Roxx - Wish I could say the same for John McRae. He knows he's trapped! Wait just one second....It's Lindley!
BSW - Lindley Taber is trying to get to the ring. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME!? IS THAT....?
Roxx - YES! BRITNEY SPEARS! BRITNEY SPEARS IS HOLDING LINDLEY BACK! What is she doing out here, anyways?
BSW - Ask Mad Max. Now that he's seen her, he's turned around and is waving to her! And...she's waving back? What's going on? Roxx?
Roxx - BLOOD... LESBIAN.... BRITNEY... BREAST IMPLANTS......
Scott Cunigan - Tonight is the beginning of a new era for the IWO. Tonight, one faction begins it's rise to prominance. That faction is AAA! If you remember my last interview, you'll remember that I made no guarantees about Max winning the world title tonight, but I did make a guarantee about the TV title. Guess what? It came true. Now, to show everyone what it's all about!
BSW - What it's all about? What does he mean?
Roxx - He's walking over towards Britney spears, who is stil managing to keep Lindley out of the ring. He's saying something to her without the mic. Britney lets Lindley go! LINDLEY TABER IS ENTERING THE RING! This is getting weird.
BSW - Lindley walks over to Scott, and HUGS HIM! LINDLEY TABER JUST HUGGED SCOTT CUNIGAN! IT WAS A SET UP!
Roxx - Listen to this crowd! They love it!
BSW - Lindley isn't done yet! She squeezes in the circle and stands
next to John McRae. She smiles at McRae, then says something to John Smythe.
She reaches into Smythe's trenchcoat, and pulls out.....
Scott Cunigan - Alright, Lindley. Time to show the world just what kind of man John McRae is! Cut the shirt off!'
Roxx - John McRae is standing there totally dumbfounded as Lindley Taber is cutting the Black Sabbath shirt off of him! McRae's upper body is exposed! Where's this going?
Scott Cunigan - Guys...DO IT!
BSW - AAA are raising the chairs above their heads! Vampyre is going to feel that cold metal on his bare flesh! This is just wrong!
Roxx - WHAT!? AAA just let the chairs fall behind them to the ground! Now, they're backing away!
BSW - Cunigan is walking up to him....THEY SHAKE HANDS! CUNIGAN AND MCRAE SHAKE HANDS! IT WAS A SETUP!
Roxx - Mad Max hands John McRae a AAA t-shirt...he puts it on! John Mcrae is now a member of AAA! Now, Max is handed the mic from Cunigan!
Mad Max - Doesn't he look better? Now he can play our game! In fact, so can the rest of the IWO! IT'S FUN TIME!!!!!!!
(As Mad Max drops the mic, Breaking the Law once again plays. AAA celebrate in the ring, as the crowd starts to chant TRI-PLE A! TRI-PLE A!)
BSW - Let's get to the next match.
Nikki: Ladies and Gentleman, introducing first, wieghing 238 and
"My Own Worst ememy" by Lit plays as Joey Rappaport walks out.
Roxx: AHH, I am scared of the dark.
BSW: What is happening. I hear noises but I don't see anything!
Roxx: Can't go to sleep, clowns will eat me, can't go to sleep......
*The lights go back on as Justin Shack and Ken War are seen beating on Joey*
BSW: Another violent attack from Violent Attitude.
Roxx: KICK HIS ASS!
BSW: Shack hit grabing a mic.
Shack: Ladies and Gentleman, he has been...SHACKED 4 LIFE!
Now, the pacfic
BSW: Benny The Cameraman hits Shack in the head with a his camera.
Roxx: Look, Benny is on the top turnbuckle!
BSW: Joey drags War onto Shack, Big Splash by Benny!
Roxx: POWER TO THE FAT MEN!
BSW: Bennys drags War outside and sits on him. Ih my god this is sick
Roxx: HE IS EATING BEANS! HE IS FARTING! HAHAHAHA!!!
BSW: Back inside the ring Joey is attacking Shack. Kick
to the stomach,
Roxx: Beans, beans the wonderful fruit, the more you eat the more
BSW: I'll try to ignore that. Joey Rappaport si just standing
Roxx: Ken War passed out.
BSW: Benny the Cameraman stumbles into the ring and clotheslines
BSW: Shack is tapping out, the ref calls for the bell.
Ref: The winner and new pacific chamipon..BENNY THE CAMERAMAN!!!
Rappaport: Congrats Bennys but you arn't in this match so you
Benny: I know, carry on.
BSW: Benny picks up Shack and holds this arms behind his back.
Joey with a
Roxx: BENNY FARTED! Joey and shack faint. Joey lands
ontop of Shack.
BSW: The whole aduience fainted. I feel dizy.
Roxx: Good ol' gas mask. More feds come out and Bennys
farts some more!
Winner And New Pacific Champion, JOEY RAPPOPORT!
Roxx: Oh no, Benny farts some more, my gas mask his melting, ahh!
BSW- What's the matter Nikki?
Nikki- What do you mean?
BSW- You've said like four words in the past 30 minutes. Anything wrong?
Nikki- I feel bad for that poor toelicker.....
BSW- Oh, now you regret it?!?!
Nikki- Can we just move on?!
Roxx- Yes, shut up and let's go on to the next match!
BSW- Well, looks like we are going to have another great match-up! This
Roxx- I am SURE that Foriegn Legion will win this! I know it!
Nikki- But, they are up against three other teams. The team with the
BSW- Say what you will. But I think that The Prime Time Soldiers have
Nikki- Lets just get this started. Down to the ring announcer!
Ring Announcer- The following match is scheduled for one fall, with
["Seek and Destroy" by Metallica begins to play. The team of Black Assassin
Ring Announcer- Next, One of the challenging teams. Being accompanied
[The British and Canadian National Anthems Mixed begins to play. Brother
Ring Announcer- The second challenging team. Being accompanied to the
["Anthem for the Year 2000" by silverchair begins to play. All three
Ring Announcer: And the final team.. being accompanied to the ring by
["Ambitions Az A Ryder" by 2pac begins to play. PTS and Ariana walk
BSW- Here we go! Black Assassin of The Crypt and Tyler Johnson are gonna
Nikki- This is carnage! Somebody has to break this up!
Roxx- Look at that pathetic ref. He couldn't break a Kit-Kat bar with
Nikki- Don't be so mean! Besides, I saw you in back trying to break
BSW- Foriegn Legion is brawling with both of the Prep Kids on the outside.
Roxx- I love this! The Crypt is dominating! And there are no count outs!
Nikki- Don't say anymore!
Roxx- That's why...
Nikki- I didn't think so!
BSW- Johnson is getting back up! The Crypt still attacking Brother Al.
Roxx- The ref isn't counting! He doesn't know who the legal men are!
Nikki- He is calling for security!
BSW- And here they come! They are breaking the men up! Forcing them
Roxx- Jordan Howitt better! I wanna see him get beat!
Nikki- Shut up Roxx!
Nikki- I told you not to talk!
BSW- And the other man in the ring is... Crazy Canuck! Canuck ducks
Roxx- Yes!! Lets go Can-uck.
Nikki- Did anyone ever tell you how...good you look?
Roxx- Why, no they haven't..
Nikki- No wonder! You don't!
BSW- Hehehe. Back in the ring, Cappy has tagged in Black Assassin, who
Nikki- And in comes McCloud to break the hold!
Roxx- No he was supposed to break HIS LEG!
BSW- Well, Howitt makes the tag. No! Assassin stops him from making
Eliminated- The Prep Kids
Nikki- See I told ya!
Roxx- It's elimination STUPID! All the teams have to be eliminated you hoe!
BSW- Brother Al now attacking Assassin, who somehow made a tag to Ruff
Roxx- Ouch.. that looked painful! He hit hard! Get up Al!
BSW- Ryder stomping away at Brother Al. Picks him up. Kick. Suplex!
Roxx- Yeah! Whoo! Go Canuck!
Nikki- Give it up! We all know Canadians can't wrestle! Take Lance Storm,
Roxx- Thats not true! They are some of my favorite wrestlers!
BSW- Give it up Roxx! Canuck off the ropes. He ducks a clothesline.
Nikki- Come on pin that Canadian!
Roxx- Shut up! Canadians are great wrestlers!
Nikki- No they aren't!
BSW- Ruff Ryder whips Canuck off the ropes. Northern Lights Suplex!
Eliminated- Foriegn Legion
BSW- Down to two teams. Crypt and Prime Time Soldiers. Ruff Ryder of
Roxx- Well that sucks for the Prime Time Soliders, doesn't it?! Hahaha!
Nikki- God that match just took too damn long. I want to go home already.
BSW- You've done hundreds of these mega events before, live with this one.
Roxx- Let's just get to the next match.
BSW: Here we go. This one is taking place in a desert. Yes, A DESERT. The winner will be the #1 Contender to the Extreme Title. These two guys are ready for a war.....
Ring Announcer: This is a DESERT HELL MATCH!!! IT IS FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE EXTREME TITLE! AND NOW, THE PARTICPANTS!
<Jax Stone walks out from a giant desert tent.>
Ring Announcer: He is a man that has arguably been Ken War's greatest nemesis... he has laid waste to War on many an occassion... HE IS THE ELIMINATOR.. FROM THE AAA, JAX STONE!
<Ken War steps out from the same tent.>
Ring Announcer: And his opponent......He has held every singles title in the IWO.... he is known as the most extreme man in the history of wrestling. One Half of Violent Attitude... The War Machine...... KEN WAR!
Roxx: War and Stone eyeing each other... Stone with a right hand. Another one, another, and one more rocks Ken War. Stone steps back, spinning heel kick takes the War Machine down! Stone stomping away at War's back, he picks War up, suplexes him down onto the sand. Stone now over to War, War with a fistful of sand to Stone's eyes!
BSW: War now in charge of this one, there are weapons literally all over this desert, War's located a trash can, he dents it over Stone's skull! War puts it down, Stone with a low blow! Stone setting up War, Northern Lights--- HOLY SH!T!!! COUNTERED INTO THE DAMNDEST DDT I HAVE EVER SEEN! Stone may be out! Cover by Ken War! 1, 2, Kickout!
Nikki: Jax Stone slowly attempting to get back to his feet there, War has managed to locate a chair, he waits on Stone, HE WAITED TOO LONG! Stone with a jump spinning back kick shoves the chair right back in War's face! He puts teh chair on the ground, scoops Ken War up, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE CHAIR! Jax Stone now stomping away at Ken War, and he drags War deeper into this goddamned desert!
Roxx: Ken War is on his feet, and he and Stone are brawling, War with a kick in the gut, Powerbomb! Stone stumbles backwards... AND HE PUTS ON THE BRAKES JUST BEFORE HE HITS THE CACTUS! Ken War digging for something... THAT'S HIS SCYTHE!!! WAR BURIED THE SCYTHE IN THE DESERT! HE SWINGS.... WAR MISSES, BUT HE CHOPPED THE CACTUS IN TWO! Stone rams the cactus into War's chest.. places it on the ground, spines up.......
BSW: ELIMINATION ON THE CACTUS!!!! The referee over to count, 1, 2, War escapes! War crawls over, he has the scythe again.. HE SLASHES STONE RIGHT IN THE FACE! Blood is pouring! Stone now severly ticked, he has War up on his shoulders, Samoan Drop! Ken War stumbling, he gets to his feet, grabs Jax, piledriver on the sand. How much effect will that have on sand? It's f*cking sand! War picks Stone back up, swinging neckbreaker!
Nikki: War looking around, he sees a barbed wire baseball bat up on a cactus. He carefully gets it.. Wait! Jax Stone is on a rock formation! He dives.... Hurricanrana! Stone now with the bat, War up, STONE NAILS WAR RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WUITH A BARBED WIRE BALL BAT! War went down in a heap! Stone locks on a figure four! Quite an unusual move in a hardcore match! War turns the figure four over! Stone reeling in pain, and he releases the hold! Both men up, Double Clothesline!
Roxx: War is up first, he's walking over to a stone area, no sand here folks.... Jax Stone is up, War with a kick, Stunner! Ken War has another chair, and he found a ladder! A ladder in the middle of a desert! Jax Stone slowly to his feet, Ken War with a chair shot! Kenny climbing that ladder...... wait, he's moving it... TOWARD THE END OF A 100 FOOT CLIFF! Jax and War now both climbing the ladder... Jax with a punch to War, War with one to Jax. War throws Stone's arm over his shoulder, he's signalling for the.. NO! HE CAN'T DO THAT!!! HE WON'T DO THAT!!!!
BSW: OF COURSE HE WILL!!!!! THIS GUY IS A PSYCHOPATH!
Roxx: NO!!!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BSW: HOLY MOTHER F*CKING SHIT!!!!! KEN WAR JUST JUMPED OFF THAT LADDER WITH JAX STONE!! THEY ARE FALLING TOGETHER AS WE SPEAK TO THE DESERT FLOOR 100 FEET BELOW!! WHAT THE HELL IS WAR THINKING?! WAIT A MINUTE... THE DROP! KEN WAR WITH THE DROP FROM 100 FEET IN THE AIR, BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER A WHOLE F*CKING LOT BECAUSE BOTH GUYS HAVE GOT TO BE DEAD!
Nikki: Both guys are lying motionless....this isn't good. Ken War just gave Jax Stone The Drop off of a 100 foot cliff, they both landed incredibly hard... there's blood everywhere.. I ...I...I.. honestly don't know what to say!
BSW: That's a first!
Roxx: An ambulance is finally on its way to see if they can save these two guys... even for me, that has got to be the most horrific thing I have seen in my life.... The ambulance personell are getting stretchers out..... Stone is being picked up, as is Ken War....... They are being carried over to an ambulance..................
BSW: THEY'RE ALIVE!!!! AND THE JUIST EACH NAILED THE RESCUE SQUAD GUYS! War and Stone are bleeding from every place CONCIEVABLE, but they are still fighting! War with Stone, STONE HEAD-FIRST INTO TEH AMBULANCE! Stone reels backwards.. War with a inverted piledriver! He's not covering! He places Stone on a strectcher... He climbs up on to the amublance, he jumps, SENTON SPLASH ON STONE SENDING HIM THROUGH THE STRETCHER! Ken War makes a cover, the referee has arrived, 1, 2, kickout! Wow!
Nikki: Somehow these guys are both managing to stand, they take each other head first into the ambulance again. Now they are climbing up teh damn thing, Stone with a boot to the gut, Powerbombs War on the roof! Stone stomping a mudhole in Ken War! Stone lifts War to his feet, DDT! Jax Stone giving some sort of signal.... He has War again, DROP LIKE A STONE!!! DROP LIKE A STONE THROUGH THE AMBULANCE ROOF!!! THESE TWO PSYCHOS ARE IN A DAMN AMBLUANCE, AND THE DRIVER IS DRIVING THE DAMN THING!
Roxx: They are fighting in the back of the ambulance..... War has a bottle of rubbing alcohol, of course he does, that's a staple of a Ken War match, CRACKS IT OVER STONE'S HEAD!! THAT'S GOT TO STING! War hooks Jax's leg, Fisherman's Suplex! Referee counts, 1, 2, kickout by Jax! Jax is up slowly, and he rams War head first into the inside of the ambulance! War stumbling backwards......
BSW: Reverse DDT by Jax Stone! Jax Stone with a leaping elbowdrop! Drove
it right into War's heart! Stone hauls Ken War up, Tombstone Piledriver!
He has a first aidkit, cracks War in the skull with it! Cover, 1, 2, 3---NO!
WAR SOMEHOW GETS A SHOULDER UP!
Sign: Welcome to Nevada!
BSW: THEY'RE IN NEVADA!!!! THEY'VE LEFT THE STATE! THIS IS A FIRST!!
Nikki: They are still fighting in this ambulance......... Wait a minute... War's dousing the damn ambulance in alcohol.. oh f*ck.......... HE HAS A MATCH!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!!!!!!
BSW: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!!
Nikki: THE AMBULANCE HAS EXPLODED IN A FIREBALL!!! Stone is on fire!!! He grabs Ken War! It's a flaming bear hug!!! Belly to Belly FlamePlex! The fire is put out.. where in Nevada are they?
BSW: I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!
BSW: LAS VEGAS!!! PUPPY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! WOOHOO!!!!!
Roxx: YES!!! BSW IS RIGHT!!! WE ARE IN LAS VEGAS!!! Ken War and Jax Stone are fighting on the mean streets of Vegas! THEY WALK RIGHT INTO THE MGM GRAND!!! NO!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!! THIS BLOWS!!!!! BRITNEY SPEARS IS GIVING A CONCERT!!! GODDAMNIT! WAIT!!! STONE AND WAR ARE TALKING!!
Jax Stone: You know, I think it is time we did the world a favor....
Ken War: I agree....
Roxx: They charge the stage, War has Britney.. DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!! YES!!!!!! THAT WAS LONG OVERDUE!!!!!!!!!!
Roxx: WAIT A MINUTE!!! A 16 YEAR OLD FAN HAS HIT THE STAGE!!!! HIS NAME TAG SAYS MARK ON IT!!! HE'S FROM A WISCONSIN NUTHOUSE!!!!HE KICKS WAR IN THE GUT!!!! TOP ROPE PEDIGREE! THE SAME FOR JAX STONE!!!!!!!! HE PIKCS UP BRITNEY ANMD RUNS OUT, WITH THE WHITE PADDED ROOM GUYS IN HOT PURSUIT!
BSW: Ken War and Jax are up, WAR THROWS STONE THROUGH THE GLASS DOOR! THEY ARE BACK ON THE STREETS, AND IN ANOTHER CASINO!! Ken and Jax are brawling........ Ken War picks Stone up, running powerslam! LegDrop! They are fighting their way through the casino, up the stairs, War takes Stone head first into a roulette wheel on the second floor!
Nikki: These two guys have fought through two states, and now they are in a damn casino! Stone with a roll of silver dollars, he nails Ken War right in the skull! War beign setip for a piledriver, Back Body Drop by Ken War! War irish whips Stone into teh second floor railing! He places Stone on the railing.. he climbs up with him..... Oh no..... NOT AGAIN!!!!!!
Roxx: YES!!!!! HE CALLS THAT MOVE THE WAR MACHINE!!!! TIGER DRIVER '91 OFF THE SECOND FLOOR RAILING THROUGH A BLACKJACK TABLE! He covers, 1, 2, 3!!! Ken War has won!!!!!! NO HE HASN'T!!! THE REFERE SAYS STONE KICKED OUT!!! War with the referee!! THE DROP THROUGH ANOTHER BLACKJACK TABLE! Referee is down! Stone is down... BUT HE COMES BACK WITH A LOW BLOW! Now they re leaving! Where to now?
BSW: War and Stone exchanging right hands on the Strip! Stone picks up a brick, he nails Ken War right in the face! He covers, but the referee is still out from Ken War Dropping him through a blackjack table! Stone gets up, and backs up aaginst a door to someplace.. War is up........ HE CHARGES!!! SPEAR!!! HE SPEARED JAX STONE BACK THROUGH THAT DOOR! AND BOTH MEN GO BUMPITY BUMP DOWN A BIG @SS FLIGHT OF STAIRS! Where are they?!
<The camera goes back to the arena.>
Nikki: We have to get a camera down there, so please bear with us. The fans here are standing! What a match this has been!!! I'm getting word that we are getting our feed back, so we're going back to the Desert/Las Vegas Hell match!
Roxx: PORN MUSIC IS PLAYING!!! WE ARE IN A STRIP CLUB!!!
BSW; THAT'S EX VP JOHN!!!!!!!!! HE'S GETTING A LAP DANCE FROM ONE OF THE HOOKERS!!!!!
Roxx: Heh... well, these two guys are in this....... establishment.... War sends Stone into the pole and.......BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz....
<The Screen is Blue for a period of about five minutes. By the time it reappears both men are outside, blood stained.>
BSW: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! BOTH GUYS ARE IN A POOL OF BLOOD! War rolls over and covers Jax Stone! Referee is finally up from the Drop! 1, 2, Kickout! They are somehow standing now and exchanging rights and lefts! Kick by Stone, Double Arm DDT! Stone with a standing frog splash! He lifts Ken War up, ELIMINATION ON THE ROAD!! ELIMINATION ON AN ASPHALT ROAD! Jax Stone covers! 1, 2, Kickout!
Nikki: These guys are just brawling now! Right hands are flying everywhere! War scoop slams Jax, War steps back, he dive rolls, Senton Splash! War hooks the leg! 1, 2, kickout! Ken whips Stone into a street light.. Stone falling backwards, War with a German Suplex! He bridges, 1, 2, NO!!! War should have won the damn thing!!
Roxx: These two guys are absoultely spent.. they have nothing left.... Stone and War just fightign with what they have left..... Ken War and Stone now climbing up on a park bench.... They are exchanging rights and lefts.. Stone with a huge right! Stone signals the Elimination!!! Stone has him set.. He can't pull it off! His body can't do it!! Stone is almost unconsious! War now with Stone.. THE DROP!!! THE DROP OFF TEH BENCH ON A TRASH CAN! HE COVERS! 1, 2, 3!!! YES!! KEN WAR HAS DONE IT!!! WAR IS TEH #1 CONTENDER FOR TEH EXTREME TITLE!!
BSW: Lucky for Stone....War has retired!! So Stone is the number one contender anyway!!! What a great way for War to end his career!!
Roxx- Yeah yeah, enough with this mushy bullsh*t. Let's get to some violence.
BSW- Is a US title match enough blood for you?
Roxx- No, but it's probably up next anyway.
BSW- How right you are!
Roxx:: Ian Kain and Shawn Carter.. Carter being the champ has the edge I think..
BSW:: To me, I think Ian Kain will become the champion.. He deserves it. He was screwed out of it..
Nikki:: Shawn Carter, is the champion.. And he will remain the champion..
Ring Announcer:: This match is for the IWO United States Championship....
["Blind" by KoRn plays as Ian Kain comes down to the ring..]
Ring Announcer:: First coming down to the ring.. The challenger for this match.. "The Massochist" Ian Kain!!
[Crowd cheers as "PE 2000" by Puff Daddy f/ Hurricane G comes over the audio as Shawn Carter comes to the ring with the United States Title around his waist..]
Ring Announcer:: Coming down to the ring.. The challenger.. "HALF MAN, HALF AMAZING" SHAWN CARTER!!!
[DING DING DING]
Roxx:: Shawn Carter and Ian Kain! IWO United States Heavyweight Title Match.. Ian gets Shawn Carter in the middle of the ring.. Collar and elbow tie up.. Kain throws Shawn Carter to the ropes.. Carter comes back and clothelines Ian Kain!
BSW:: Ian Kaid grabs Shawn Carter by the hair and throws him down to the mat.. Shawn Carter gets right up.. Kain now scoop slams Shawn Carter.. Then follows up with a nice leg drop..
Nikki:: Kain grabs Carter by the throat and starts to choke him.. Carter is loosing air.. Finally the ref tells Ian Kain to release the hold after Shawn Carter got to the ropes..Kain really wants to win this match..
Roxx:: Yes I can tell. Kain runs the ropes and dropkicks Carter out of the ring.. And the ref starts to distribute the 10 count... 1....2...3....4...5...and Shawn Carter comes in the ring again..
BSW:: But, Kain meets him there with an inside larriot! NOW KAIN GOES DOWN AND STARTS TO HAMMER AWAY ON SHAWN CARTER.. KAIN IS DOMINATING!! But remember how Carter is indeed amazing and he can get up from everything!
Nikki:: Now Carter starting to get up.. And Kain stomps him back down.. Carter gets up and trips Ian Kain.. Carter gets up and a PUMP HANDLE SLAM!! IAN KAIN IS DOWN! SHAWN CARTER IS NOW IN THIS MATCH...
Roxx:: Shawn Carter grabs Ian Kain and DDT's him to the mat.. Carter now is in control of the match...The latteral press.. 1.....2...and Kain escapes barely..
BSW:: Yes barely is the key word here.. Kain now gets up and clotheslines Carter down to the ground.. Kain now drops an elbow.. Another one.. Now Ian Kain climbs the top rope and.. A 450 SPLASH ONTO CARTER!! MAN THIS IS GETTING GOOD..
Nikki:: Indeed.. I hope Carter wins.. He is sooo hot! Look at that body!
BSW:: Now Carter... Is UP! AMAZING!!
Roxx:: He is Half Amazing Half Man! Carter now gets Kain and drops him on his back! Now Carter runs the ropes and follows up with a big splash. 1.....2....and NO KAIN KICKS OUT AGAIN!!
Nikki:: Carter runs up to Kain and pokes him in the eye.. Boot... PILEDRIVER!! OUCH!!!! RIGHT ON THE NECK!! KAIN WON'T BE GETTING UP FROM THAT ONE!! I ASSURE YOU OF THAT!!
BSW:: Now Shawn Carter, in hopes of keeping the IWO United States Title,
gets Ian Kain up.. AND DELIEVERS ANOTHER PILEDRIVER!! I DON'T GET IT!!
HE IS TRYING TO END THIS MANS CAREER...
Roxx:: Carter gets Kain up again.. PUMP KICK!! NOW HE PINS HIM!! 1.....2....THREEEEEEE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IAN KAIN GOT THE SHOULDER UP! HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE DO THAT!!! THIS MAN IS AMAZING...
Nikki:: Even more amazing then Shawn Carter at the time..
BSW:: I don't know about that.. Carter is hitting excellent moves on Ian Kain.. "The Massochist" is a crazy person.. He is in line for this shot.. And possibly he will be champion after this occasion!
Roxx:: Now Carter sends Kain to the corner.. Ian reverses it.. And Carter rams straight into the ref.. Their heads collided! THE REF IS OUT COLD!!! Ian Kain slides out of the ring.. He is half dazed...
Nikki:: Carter is up.. Against the ropes... Kain swings.. Carter moves.. THE CHAIR HIT THE ROPES AND IT FLUNG BACK AND HIT HIM SQUARE IN THE HEAD!! KAIN IS OUT COLD!! CARTER SEE'S HIS CHANCE!!
BSW:: The cover!! THE REF IS GETTING UP!!! 1.........2..................SHOULDER UP!!!! CARTER MUST BE REALLY MAD RIGHT NOW!! THIS IS BULL CRAP!! CARTER IS GETTING SCREWED OVER!!!
Roxx:: Carter pushes the ref.. HE GETS KAIN UP.. THE BLACKOUT(Inverted Powerbomb)!! The ref gets up and Carter makes the pin! THE REF WON'T COUNT!! HOW FAIR IS THIS?!
Nikki:: Carter gets The ref BLACKOUT!! He is hammering away on The ref.. Wait Kain gets up.. He grabs Carter.. INFERNO(Twisting Piledriver)!!! THERE'S NO REFEREE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!! THIS IS A SCREW JOB!!
BSW:: KAIN NOW WITH THE PIN! THE REF IS UP! 1.........2....NO NO DON'T TELL ME!! 3!!! IAN "MASSOCHIST" KAIN IS THE IWO UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!
["Blind" by KoRn plays as Kain jumps up and down in the ring with the US Title..]
Roxx- A new US Champ?! GREAT?! WHO GIVES THE F*CK?! IAN KAIN IS NOW THE MID CARD CHAMPION!
BSW- You couldn't be any ruder if you tried.
Roxx- Well I never cared about this match anyway.
Nikki- Yeah right! We saw you yelling and screaming at the ref the whole time.
Roxx- I was pretending to be interested so the time would go by faster.
BSW- We've got the World Tag Team Title Match coming up now!!
Roxx: I have been waiting for this match all night. The Tag team competition is heating up in the IWO, with many tag teams.
BSW: Whatta' bout Violent Attitude, they strechered out The Bruisers, and the Outcasts on Hostile Meltdown.
Nikki: That's right Scotty, they are no tag team to be messed with, but with Ken War's retiring, what can that spell for Shack?
Roxx: Would he go alone?
Bsw: Oh I don't think...would he?!
Roxx: I don't know...we may find out tonight!
[Ding ding ding!]
Announcer: This next match is set for ONE FALLL....and it is for the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORRRRRRLLLLLDDD!
[Fans go wild!]
Announcer: Introducing first....the challengers, with a combined weight of 564 pounds! Samuel Potright.....PAULLLLL HANSON....THEEEEEE OUTCASSSSTSSS!!!!
["The Beautiful People" by Marylin Manson begins to play as the Outcasts make there way to the ring]
Announcer: Annnnnd there oppponents. Hailing from Beverley Hills! MIKE, AND BRIAN DUDLEY....THE BEVERLEY HILLS BRUISERSSSSS!!!!!
["Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by Offspring blasts through out the arena as the Bruisers walk to the ring with the gold around there waists but the Outcasts meet in the isle...]
BSW: And this thing has started in the isle! Shrimp going after Mike Dudley! Brian Dudley matching with Paul Hanson! Hard rights and lefts from all four! Paul Hanson whips Brian Dudley into the steel railing! Mike Dudley with a big boot to the face of Shrimp! Goes over to Hanson, LOW BLOW! DDT! From Brian Dudley! Now Mike grabs Shrimp, and slams his head into the steel steps! Now throws Shrimp into the ring. Brian Dudley dragging Hanson to the top of the isle, now nailing him with hard right hands! Can you hear those shots?! A big boot to the gut of Pauly, swinging neck breaker on the steel!
Roxx: Ouch! In the ring Mike Dudley has shrimp, picks him up, POWERBOMB! On the neck! Mike Dudley now stomping away! Brian Dudley runs into the ring, and is kicking along with Mike. Shrimp is out! They pick him up, whip him into the ropes, double elbow! Now Brian gets him up boot, Shrimp caught it! And throws him out of the ring! Shrimp swings wildly behind him, and misses Mike, Mike catches him, BELLY TO BELLY! What impact!
Nikki: Paul Hanson finally getting up, and looks pissed! He goes to the crowd and grabs a crutch! Oh no! He's walking to the ring, and Brian Dudley is on the outside on his knees favoring that head from falling out of the ring. Paul Hanson holds the crutch up, [CRACK!] To the back of the head! Brian Dudley falls face first to the ground! Repeated shots to the back of the head of Brian Dudley with that crutch!
BSW: Mike Dudley in the ring with Shrimp, has his back turned to all this. Paul slides into the ring, winds up, [SMACK!] Right to the back of Mike Dudley! Mike falls into a Shrimp FLOATOVER SUPLEX! 1....2....NO! Kicked out!
BSW: Now Shrimp gets him up, quick tag to Paul Hanson, Hanson charges with a huge clothesline! Knocking Mike Dudley to the mat! Brian Dudley crawling up on the apron, but Sam Potright nails HIM WITH A HEELKICK AND THEY BOTH COLLIDE TO THE GROUND! Whatta' move from the shrimp!
Nikki: Now Mike Dudley managing to get up, but Paul Hanson with a hard right hand! Another! Another one knocking Mike Dudley to the mat. Hanson picks him up, and whips him into the ropes, UH OH! Hanson has that big hand wrapped around Mike's next, PICK UP....WAIT. He's going over to the ropes with Mike in the air, CHOKESLAM TO THE OUTSIDE! MY GOD! NAILING THE STEEL ISLE! Mike Dudley is out cold! Now Brian Dudley has the shrimp on the outside, RAMMMS HIS HEAD INTO THE STEEL POLE! Paul Hanson climbs out of the ring, and is now kicking at Mike Dudley.
BSW: Brian Dudley has Shrimp, SUPLEX!
Roxx: ONTO OUR TABLE! OH GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT SMACK! Luckily this thing held up, Shrimp is on the ground favering that back. Brian Dudley has a steel chair, and holds it up high above his head, [Smack!] To the back of Shrimp!
Nikki: Paul Hanson has Mike Dudley, boot, lifts him high above his head, GORRILA PRESS! HEAD FIRST GOES MIKE DUDLEY INTO THE SET OF STEEL STEPS! My god!
BSW: Now Paul slides into the ring! Brian Dudley right in front of us, about to attempt another chair shot, Paul Hanson baseball slide, NAILS Brian DUDLEY! Watch out Roxx!
[No talking for a minute]
BSW: Sorry folks, Brian Dudley flipped over our announcing table! And now Hanson throws Shrimp into the ring, and goes after Brian Dudley! Paul Hanson pummling Brian Dudley to the ground!
Roxx: Yeah, and in the ring Mike Dudley crawling into the ring, and meeting a few stomps to the head from Shrimp. Shrimp gets him up, and sends him into the ropes, COMES OFF WITH A HUGE FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY MIKE DUDLEY! COVER! LOOK PAUL! 1...2..NO!
Nikki: Paul now in the ring, and both double teaming on Mike Dudley. Hard right hands from both men of the Outcasts, ref has really no control in this match. Paul Hanson sends him to the ropes, POWERSLAM! Followed up by a effective leg drop to the throat of Mike Dudley.
BSW: Paul Hanson grabs Mike Dudley by the neck, LIFT UP....CHOKESLAM! Damnit! Mike Dudley is out! Shrimp going to the top, LEG DROP! MY GOD! Mike is out! Cover! Wait, Brian Dudley in the ring, CLOTHESLINE ON HANSON! NAILS SHRIMP OFF OF MIKE, GRABS EM, GUTRENCH TOMBSTONE! Cover! 1....2...hard kick to the back of Brian Dudley from Hanson. Hanson picks him up, SHOULDER BREAKER!
Roxx: The Bruisers are being manhandled.
Nikki: Yes they are. I've never seen em like this.
BSW: Paul Hanson directing traffic, in there.
Roxx: Hanson has Brian dudley, POWERBOMB ON THE NECK! Mike Dudley gets nailed by Shrimp! Shrimp going to the top, 450 SPLASH!!! NOOOO!!!!!! HE MISSED!!! MIKE MAKES THE COVER!!! 1.........2.......3!!!!!!
Nikki: OH MY GOD! THE BRUISERS HAVE WON!!!
BSW: WHAT THE HELL?!
Announcer: THE WINNERRRSSS......AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS......BBBB HHHH BBB!!!
BSW: I cannot believe that!
Roxx: They wanted it more...
Nikki- What a GREAT match that was!!
Roxx- Yeah, but this next one is even better.
BSW- The first ever Anti-Gravity match!! This one was invented by IML2 prez Neil in an effort to have some fun.....and we liked it so much here that we stole it from him and put it on our own PPV!! What great fun!!
Roxx- Win by submission only, and no gravity at all!!
Nikki- Let's get to the chamber!!
BSW - Extreme Title Match!!!
Roxx - NO GRAVITY!!!
Nikki - THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE!!!
(The cameras cut to the ring where we see the IWO ring crew putting
BSW - I guess we are supposed to stall for time while the ring is being
Roxx - Yeah, we don't need flying shit everywhere!!! And besides, I'm
Nikki - You are such a perv Teddy!!!
Roxx - You wear Teddies? Can I see you in a hot red one???
Roxx - Gee, thanks a lot!!!
Nikki - Thats for you wanting me to wear a red one!!! I don't even like
BSW - I'm being told that we are going to the back and we are going
(The cameras cut to the back. We see GP and JT sitting behind a table
GP - The cameras are back here now!!! We are here talking to the people,
JT - YEAH!!! And remember to send me porn.
GP - And if you are up in Canada give us a call at 1-CANADASUCKS...
JT - YES IT DOES!!! Everyone in Canada likes anus!!!
GP - Now lets take you back out to the arena and the introduction for
JT - ANTIGRAVITY!!!
(The scene cuts back to the arena. We see the huge ass anti-gravity
BSW - This one is going to get crazy!!!
Roxx - I like crazy Scotty Pie!!! I hope we see blood out the ass in
Nikki - You are sick Teddy. First a red teddy now red blood!!! You must
Roxx - =(
(One pair of anti-gravity boots have been placed in the box and are
BSW - I think it is time to bring out the guys involved in this match.
Roxx - Boy she is hot!!! Especially when compared to three hound dogs.
(Vanna White enters the anti-gravity chamber. She floats to the top
Vanna White - I am a bitch!!! I mean... I am here to bring out the men
("Lightning Crashes" by Live begins to play.)
Vanna White - The Challengur.. I mean challenger!!! He stands six foot
(Chrome Thunder makes his way out. He is dressed to kill and looks dangerous
BSW - I think he is prepaid for this!!! He looks like he is going to
Roxx - I like seeing asses being midevials on!!!
Vanna White - Who is next??? I LOST MY CARD!!! DAMN IT!!! WHERE IS MY
(Just then Chrome Thunder enters the big ass thing anti-gravity box.
Vanna White - I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! IM
(Chrome Thunder bitch slaps Vanna White. He grabs her by the face and
BSW - WHAT IS THIS?!?! HELP ME!!! DAMN IT!!! HELP ME!!!
Roxx - Hey, did someone stick heroin in me!?!? THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS
Nikki - What are we going to do???
BSW - Die?!?!?
Nikki - NO!!!
(Vanna White floats up to the top of the arena. She is bleeding pretty
BSW - HELP US!! MY GOD!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
(Phantom comes floating. He is trying to find Chrome Thunder. He SEES
Phantom grabs Chrome Thunder by the hair, but Chrome Thunder shoves
BSW - HELP US!!!
Nikki - OH IM GOING TO VOMIT.
(The vomit goes up to the ceiling and splats against Chrome Thunder's
BSW - I THINK I AM GETTING CLOSER TO THE MOON!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
Chrome Thunder bounces off of Big Scott and goes floating down towards
BSW - HELP US!!!
Chrome Thunder bounces back first off the floor and goes flying up towards
(The scene cuts over to where Vanna White has died. Pat Sajak is standing
Phantom and Chrome Thunder reach the floor.. They smack it and bounce
BSW - HELP US!!!
Nikki - MURDER!!!
Roxx - HEROIN!!!
Jamie floats up to Big Scott and whips him.
Jamie - Be my bitch!!!
BSW - HELP ME!!!
Roxx - HAHAHHA!!!
Jamie floats back to the dressing room.
The refree is finally getting over to where they are floating!!! He
Winner AND NEW EXTREME CHAMPION - CHROME THUNDER!!!
(Chrome Thunder refuses to let go!!! He is going to KILL Phantom!!!
BSW - Ouch...
Nikki - Pain...
Roxx - Heroin...
(IWO ring guys come out and start taking the anti-gravity thing down.
Nikki- We're winding down here at this PPV!! As usual, we've had an excessive amount of death and decay...we're getting used to it here!!
Roxx- That's sick...and funny at the same time.
BSW- Let's get to ringside for the NA Title match.
Nikki- Both of these men deserve it, but only one can have it, who will???
Roxx- OOOOO that was pretty good!!!
BSW- There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this match
*Flashback to Heatstroke*
Nikki- Many thought that David Thorne would win that match.
Roxx- Well, he didn't so boooo fricken hooooo!!
Announcer- Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is schedualed for 1
(Milennium by Robbie Williams begins to play and Throne comes out to
Announcer- and now making his way to the ring, he the IWO North
(Crazy Train by Ozzy begins to play and Jack comes to the ring)
BSW- We are all set to go here!!!
Nikki- This is sure to be a great match!!
BSW- The match is underway and the two men lock up, Thorne nails an
Roxx- WOW This is exciting!!!
Nikki- Oh shut up!!!
Roxx- You shut up woman!!!
BSW- They lock up again, Jack whips Thorne to the ropes and nails a
Roxx- Did he actually think he would pin Thorne with that??
Nikki- Obviously he did!
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne and sends him to the ropes, he goes for a clothesline
Roxx- These guys are retarted!
Nikki- Look whos talking!!
Roxx- You are talking!!
BSW- Thorne runs off the ropes and nails a dropkick. He signals for
Roxx- Close call!
BSW- Jack is up and he rakes the eyes of Thorne. He then turns around,
Nikki- What the hell did he do that for???
BSW- He picks up the ref and nails a piledriver!!! The ref is out!!!
Nikki- Good lord!!
Roxx- Now the fun starts!!
BSW- Jack motions to Sonya, she throws him a pair of brass knuckles!!
BSW- Thorne picks up Jack, Dragon Suplex!!!!! There is no ref!!! WAIT,
BSW- Jack kicks out!!!
Nikki- This match was almost over before it started!!!
BSW- Both men are up and Thorne goes for a clothesline but Jack ducks
Nikki- He is insane!!
Roxx- And you're ugly, whats your point??
BSW- Jack pulls Thorne to the outside. He whips Thorne into the guard rail!!
Roxx- OOO That hurts
Nikki- So does this......
Roxx- What was that for???
Nikki- I am sure you will piss me off later
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne, tombstone piledriver!!!! He covers, but the
BSW- Thorne got the shoulder up!!! MY GOD!!!! Jack just picked up the
Nikki- What is his problem!!
BSW- Jack is going nuts!! He grabs Thorne and drags him to the back.
Nikki- This is disgusting
Roxx- So are you!!!
BSW- Security tries to restrain Jack but they are met with rights and
BSW- Thorne just nailed Jack in the back of the head with a chair!!!
Roxx- I guess you could say he just got his gl-ass kicked!!!
Nikki- You get gayer and gayer ever month!!!
BSW- Thorne grabs Jack, OH MY GOD!!! Powerbomb onto the broken glass!!!!
Nikki- I am feeling sick
Roxx- Yeah, well you ain't looking to good either!!!
BSW- They are heading to the exit!!! They are outside!!! Thorne and
Nikki- You can say that again!!
BSW- Thorne is looking around, he spots a souvenir shop across the street!!
Roxx- AW, he missed
Nikki- I won't
BSW- The get to shop, it says closed, OH MY GOD!! Thorne just threw
Roxx- Like a pig??
BSW- Shut up!
BSW- Thorne enters the store and looks around, but as he is looking,
Nikki- This is gross!!
Roxx- Speak for yourself!!
BSW- Jack goes over to the desk and spots a box of Arizona pins, he
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne and they head back to the arena, they cross the
Roxx- I can do that
Nikki- I bet you can!!
BSW- He gets in and is aiming for Jack!! OH MY GOD, Thorne is going
Roxx- Kids, let this be a lesson to you, always wear seatbelts!!
BSW- Thorne is lying, a bloody mess in the parking lot while Jack can
Roxx- Lets go Jack!!
Nikki- Come on David!!!
BSW- Jack is going into the ambulance, OH MY GOD!!!! He has a
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!!!! Jack just shocked Thorne with the difibrilaters!!!
Nikki- This is the most brutal thing I have seen in my life!!'
Roxx- Don't you just love it!!??
BSW- The two men are heading back to the arena, both are a bloody mess!!
Roxx- Come on Jack, put him away!!
Nikki- You can do it Thorne!!
BSW- The two are back in the arena and in the ring. The two refs are
Roxx- OH YEAH!! This is gonna be good
Nikki- Shut up!!
BSW- He grabs Thorne and goes for a powerbomb but Thorne somehow reverses
BSW- Its Sonya, Sonya grabed the ref!!! Damn her, that Jezebel!!!
Roxx- Three isn't enough!!!
Nikki- Shut up!
BSW- Jack grabs Thorne, powerbomb!!! Wait, he still has him hooked,
Nikki- I can't watch!!!
BSW- He has Thorne on the top rope!!!! He is going for the Drop!!!!
Roxx- NO NO!!!
Nikki- WHAT HAPPENED??
BSW- Thorne is on top of Jack, another ref is running down!!!
BSW- MY GOD!!! Sonya just nailed the referee with a chair!! Damnit!!
Roxx- What the hell are they doing that for??
Nikki- So that bitch wouldn't interfere anymore
Roxx- Speaking of bitches, Nikki.....
BSW- Jack and Thorne are lying, motionless in the ring!! Yet another
BSW- Both men are getting up
BSW- Both men are back on their feet, Thorne goes for a superkicks but
Roxx- Still not enough!!!
Nikki- You are an idiot!!!
BSW- Jack grabs a motionless Thorne, he is setting him on the top rope.
Another ref is coming down to the ring!!!
BSW- No damnit no!!!
Roxx- YES YES!!!!!
BSW- OH MY GOD!!!! THE REF STOPPED THE COUNT AND FLIPPED OFF
JACK!!!!! THE REF STOPPED THE COUNT!! HE GOT SICK OF SEEING ALL HIS
Roxx- That damn ref!!!
BSW- Jack gets up and takes a swing at the ref but the ref ducks, WAIT
BSW- NO NO NO, JACK KICKED OUT!!!! Jack grabs Thorne, he is going for
Roxx- NO NO!!! Come on JACK!!
Nikki- YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!! Go David!!!
BSW- THORNE HAS JACK LOCKED IN THE ZION KNEEBAR IN THE CENTER OF THE
Announcer- Your winner, and NEEEEEEWWWWWW IWO North American champion,
Nikki- Thorne did it!!!
Roxx- (weeping) NO NO NO!!!
BSW- Oh hell yes!!!!!!
Roxx- Dammit!! I didn't want to go into this match with Thorne as NA Champ!
Nikki- Bad Omen for your World title pick?
Roxx- Yeah, you could say that.
Nikki- Who do you think will win?
Roxx- I'M NOT SAYING!
BSW- Ok....let's just get to the match then! *AHEM* And here it is...
Tonights main event. What some are saying could be
Roxx - The key to this match is that it is a four corners match. Someone
Nikki - How can you say someone could get lucky? Three men have to be
Roxx - Oh come on Nikki. Don't sit there and say you don't see someone
BSW - I don't know how you can possibly say that. We've all seen what
Roxx - But this match... It is a REGULAR four corners match. It has
BSW - Teddy... You just don't understand.
Roxx - Yes, I do...
("Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam begins to play. President Jamie makes his
BSW - Well, lets see what Jamie has to say!!!
Jamie - Hello fans!!! I hope you've enjoyed the show so far tonight...
(The crowd cheers.)
Jamie - I was sitting in the back and I was listening to the guys do
(The crowd cheers.)
Nikki - Who is it!?!
BSW - I don't know!!!
Jamie - I give to you... the only man that can get the job done!!! THE
("Outshined" by Soundgarden begins to play as Titan makes his way out.
Jamie - Titan... You will make the call.. You will call the match like
(Jamie hands the microphone to Titan.)
Titan - Thank you Jamie... I will make sure this is FAIR!!! I will call
Jamie - What do you mean oh man of great mind?
Titan - Well, oh powerful wise one, I mean that the match doesn't have
Jamie - A proper title?
Titan - Yes, a proper title!!!
Jamie - well... What should it be?
Titan - Well, there are four men involved.
Jamie - Yeah?
Titan - The pay per view is Autumn in Hell.
Jamie - Yeah?
Titan - I GIVE TO YOU... FOUR MEN IN HELL!!!
(The tit-ron shows a logo for "FOUR MEN IN HELL"... It looks really
Jamie - That is a great name!! You are so good!!
Titan - NO!!! You are good!!!
Jamie - But so are you!!!
Titan - we both are good then!!!
Jamie - YEAH!!!
Titan - Think we should bring out the guys yet?
Jamie - Yeah, lets do that!!!
("The Dolphins Cry" by Live begins to play. Just then former Co-VP John
BSW - WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!?! I THOUGHT HE WAS FIRED!!!
(John gets into the ring.)
Jamie - Hey Titan, look, it is fairy boy and his little daisy tinkerbell.
Titan - Hey fag, long time no see.
(John has a "high" smile on his face. He offers the single flower to Jamie.)
John - this is my peace offering brother.
Jamie - What the???
John - I've learned a lot since the last paid television programming.
Titan - My mistake?
Jamie - My mistakes?
John - Yes... You disrupted my being, yet now I have come to a conclusion
Titan - What???
Jamie - Him???
John - I follow him now and he tells me that your sins of the past are
Titan - Let me guess, this "him" is heroin, right?
John - *sigh* Sadly Titan my mindless yet strong friend... You are sadly
("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play... The arena goes dark...)
BSW - What in the hell is this?
Roxx - The last time the lights went out your ass was put out on Hostile
BSW - Don't remind me ROXX...
Roxx - HAHAHAHA!!!
BSW - You faggot.
Roxx - Watch it bitch.
(The tit-ron starts flashing bright red... A picture of a large dragon
Nikki - ...
BSW - ...
Roxx - HAHAHAHHHA!!!
(Standing next to John is... is... RICHARD SIMMIONS!!!)
Richard Simmions - Ok now Jamie, Titan, John here has told me all the
Titan - Shut the fuck up dumb ass...
(TITAN PUNCHES RICHARD SIMMIONS!!! HE GOES DOWN TO THE MAT!!!)
John - THOU HAVE SINNED!!!
(John goes after Titan!!! Titan grabs John by the throat.. CHOKESLAM!!!
Jamie - That was really cute.
Titan - Yeah right... Now where were we before we were so rudely interupted?
Jamie - We were about to bring out the guys for the main event!!!
Titan - Oh yeah, I almost forgot!!!
("Future Breed Machine: HY Edit" by Meshuggah begins to play. The crowd
Titan - Coming out first... He wants to be called Genetic Perfection.
Jamie - I think so...
Titan - Ok.. So come on down Dane "I hope my penis doesn't do this during
(Dane Wilt comes walking out. The crowd was expecting Phelen Kell with
BSW - Boy, we have a couple of great ring announcers for this one.
Roxx - They are pretty damn funny except for that Cozie ass.
Nikki - This is uncalled for.
(Dane Wilt looks pissed at his introduction.)
Titan - Touch me, I'll throw your ass out of the match dickless.
(The crowd goes "ooooh"!)
Jamie - Can I do the next one?
Titan - I guess you can!!!
Jamie - Hit the music!!!
("Got the Life" by Korn begins to play. The crowd starts going crazy.)
Jamie - Now here comes one drunk bastard. He drinks all day and all
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - Extreme Champeen!!! and.... Two time, two time...
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - North American Champeen!!! He drank through Floyd, and it wasn't
(Al Coholic comes walking out. He looks ready for the match, but pissed
BSW - They aren't making any friends are they?
Roxx - Nope... But who really cares???
Nikki - They better care when they get their asses jumped by these guys.
Roxx - AWWW!!!
(Al Coholic is not getting in the ring. He is pissed.)
Titan - MY TURN!!! MY TURN!!!
Jamie - Can't I bring this guy out??? Cause you actually like him and
Titan - Ok!!! But this is just a favor!!!
Jamie - I'll pay you back my brotha!!!
Titan - OK!!!
("The Frayed Ends of Sanity" by Metallica begins to play. The crowd
BSW - Here comes the nut!!!
Roxx - Yeah, he is a NUT!!! I just hope he stays his ass away from me.
Jamie - Look at this freak. He is a two time.. two time...
Titan - TWO TIME!!!
Jamie - Extreme CHAMPEEN!!! If you look at him you'd say he is about
(Mad Max makes his way out. The crowd gets deafening.)
Nikki - Listen to this!!! They love him!!!
BSW - WHY!?!
Roxx - They all are insane Scotty. You know that by now, right?
BSW - NO!!!
Roxx - YES!!!
(Mad Max doesn't care about the introduction. He and bat go to the ring.
Titan - Calm down big guy.. the match is about to start. Don't squeeze
Mad Max - WE LOVE YOU!!!
Titan - Yeah.. how sweet, aww, all that other corny shit.. Anyway...
("Baptism of Fire" by Glenn Tipton begins to play.)
Titan - What the hell music is this?
BSW - What is this?!?!?!
Titan - I don't know what this is but I guess this would be the world
Jamie - TWO TIME!!!
Titan - CHAMPION OF DA WORLD!!! I give to you a man that is in an elite
(Harlequin comes walking out first...)
Titan - Hold up, where the hell is the champ.
(Sue-Anne comes out next!!! The crowd is going crazy!!!)
BSW - Kell's life got a lot better now that she is back!!! He is focused
Roxx - Don't be so sure about this Scotty.
BSW - Stop calling me Scotty, whore.
(Sue-Anne is followed by Phelen Kell. He has the world title belt over
Nikki - This is the loudest I've heard it tonight. I can't believe they
Roxx - These idiots forgive people too easily.
(Kell stops... Sue-Anne stops... Harlequin stops... They all three look
Titan - Awww!!! How fucking sweet, a nice little family reunion between
(Kell storms the ring. He goes right after Titan!!! He gets right in
Titan - Woah, big man... We talked earlier... You are to be on your
(Kell backs off.. He shakes his head.)
Titan - NOW!!! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!! I want a clean fight and may the
(Titan signals for the bell. It goes DING.)
All four men are just looking at each other. Only Kell, Max, and Wilt
BSW - This one is going to be hard to call. Just bare with us fans.
Mad Max is now chasing Al Coholic around the ring with bat. Al Coholic
Roxx - I guess he is going under there to get him a cold one.
Mad Max is looking around. He sees nothing fun so he gets back in the
Nikki - They are assaulting him with his very own weapon!!!
Mad Max isn't moving... Now Wilt hands bat to Kell.. Kell looks at bat..
BSW - He is beating his former partner and best friend!!!
Roxx - It is for the damn world title.. It is every man for himself!!!
Nikki - Where the hell did Al Coholic go?
Wilt pulls Kell up and slings him into the corner. Wilt charges in with
BSW - That was unreal. How did he not feel that???
Roxx - That was sick sounding...
Al Coholic swings the 2x4 barbed wire thingie again!!! It crashes into
Nikki - I've never seen anything like this...
Al Coholic swings again... NO!!! This time Mad Max feels it!!! He stands
BSW - SICK!!!
Mad Max takes the barbed wire 2x4 over to Dane Wilt. He swings it down
Roxx - It is at a stand still... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN???
Blood is all over the place in the ring. Just then Titan pulls a remote
Titan - I see blood from all four of you morons... This isn't any fun
(The crowd is confused.)
Titan - cut the tit-ron on and show the boys what I mean!!!
(The tit-ron shows just outside the arena in the desert.)
Titan - Now over in Egypt they have lots of Pyramids. I figured since
(Titan pushes the remote... The earth starts shaking as a large pyramid
Titan - But be warned boys... This thing is like a damn maze inside.
(Wilt, Kell, Max, and Al Coholic all look startled by this addition
BSW - Wilt needs some help. He can't go into the pyramid like that...
(Paramedics rush out with a stretcher. Titan stops and turns back to the ring.)
Titan - No no no... Let the boy get up himself. If you put him on the
(Titan starts walking again... The three men right behind him itching
Roxx - That Titan is one cold hearted bastard isn't he?
BSW - Yes he is. Thats why everyone hates him being the vice president.
Roxx - Well your former VP came out dressed up as a homosexual and then
Nikki - John was a great VP... He just fell into the politics of the IWO.
BSW - In case you are wondering, we are stalling for time until they
Roxx - Oh joy... fun!!!
(The camera is still following the three guys headed for the pyramid.
Titan - I guess i'll just wait for Dane out here... You guys have fun!!!
(Titan slams the door!?!?)
The cameras cut on inside of the pyramid. The guys are looking around
BSW - This is just f'n freaky.
Roxx - It is like we are back in ancient times...
Nikki - Can I be Cleopatra?
BSW - NO!!! I WANT TO BE!!!
Roxx - CleoScotty...
BSW - FaggotRoxx...
Roxx - You got to come original.. you got come original.. all entertainers
BSW - IMMA KID ROCK UP AND DOWN YO BLOCK!!!
Roxx - Sure... You are weird...
Nikki - START AN ESCORT SERVICE FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS!!!
BSW - COWBOY BABY!!!
(Dane Wilt is now starting to come to in the ring. He is looking around,
BSW - He doesn't look good guys.. He can't go on..
Roxx - But he is stupid and he will go on.
(Wilt is slowly going to the back.)
Back in the pyramid... We see that Phelen Kell has a dull sword in his
Nikki - This is dangerous... There is no telling what else is in this
Mad Max has walked through a door. He is in another part of the pyramid.
Roxx - This guy is a damn nut. He is getting carried away here.
Mad Max finally finds the right door. He goes through it and ends up
BSW - I dont think I can call this match anymore.
Dane Wilt is almost to the pyramid. Titan sees him and motions for him
Roxx - WHAT THE HELL?!?! I've never in my life seen anything like this!!!
BSW - What is he doing!?!? How do they win!?!?
The pyramid is all the way down in the ground except for the top part...
Titan - There is only one way out and it is up here... The first person
(Titan walks away laughing.)
BSW - HOW ARE THEY GOING TO GET OUT!??! THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE!!!
Nikki - It is Titan!!! Of course it is going to be INSANE!!!
All four men are not paying attention to each other, but are looking
(Other side of the bottom pyramid floor.)
Al Coholic is facing a wall. A vine is hanging down from somewhere up
BSW - This COULD be the way out. We don't know. Al Coholic could win
Roxx - I can't see him winning!!! PLEASE NO!!! Let that vine snap!!!
Al Coholic is up about 20 foot from the floor. He is moving at a fast
Nikki - He shouldn't panic. He will eventually find the door in all
Dane Wilt is now busting all the mirrors and... WAIT!!! He finds another
Roxx - Screw the world title, he could get him some fuzz tonight!!!
Nikki - Who the hell is that slut anyway?
She is down on the ground making funky movements. Wilt is about to drop
BSW - What the hell is that!?!? And where is it taking poor Dane Wilt???
Roxx - Who cares, I just want to see the naked woman again!!! YEAH!!! TITS!!!
Phelen Kell has run back into the main room of the pyramid. Mad Max
Nikki - Where is everyone???
The camera switches to a different room. It is Al Coholic coming up
BSW - ???
Nikki - What happened guys?
Roxx - It is dark. How the hell am I supposed to know?
Back down at the bottom floor of the pyramid we see Phelen Kell. He
BSW - I'm lost. I'm confused. I need help.
Roxx - Yeah, we know you need help Scotty.
BSW - DONT CALL MY SCOTTY.
The cameras cut to another room. We see Al Coholic lying on his back.
BSW - guys... Apparently Al Coholic fell into this room!!! He could
The naked woman is now walking into another area. She comes back with
Roxx - I think I need to go take a piss right about now.
The mummy starts wrapping the bandages around Dane Wilt. His naked woman
Back somewhere else in the pyramid. Mad Max has found some more stairs.
BSW - If you are just joining us... TURN OFF THE TV NOW!!! This has
Nikki - Yes it has...
The mummy has Dane Wilt completely in the bandages... He is now Mummy
Roxx - How can they breath in that stuff? Won't they just die?
BSW - DONT SAY THAT!!! KIDS ARE WATCHING DAMN IT!!!
Roxx - Well then why do they let a fat ass gay whore like yourself do
BSW - You stupid son of a bitch, I ought to break my ass over your face.
Nikki - that didn't sound right.
BSW - Hey, it is one in the morning and I only had like 4 hours of sleep
Phelen Kell walks through the door into the room where we last saw Mad
Nikki - I can't read egyptian writing, can you guys?
BSW - Not me...
Roxx - I used to could.
BSW - Yeah right you ass...
Roxx - Don't make me kick ya'lls asses now bitch.
BSW - That's funny Roxxy.
Kell heads off to the left door. He goes through the door and looks
BSW - I guess you could call this Mad Max and The Last Crusade.
Roxx - I hope that rock stomps somebody.
The rock finally stops once it reaches the bottom of the steps. As we
Nikki - SOMEONE WIN ALREADY DAMN IT!!!
Roxx - Yeah, like I said earlier, I gotta piss.
BSW - I think you can hold it a little while longer.
Roxx - I didn't piss all day. Come on Scotty, give me a break.
BSW - Why don't you piss into your cup there and then drink it you dumb bastard.
Roxx - I don't like the taste fatso.
Nikki - YOU TWO STOP IT NOW OR ILL GO F'N INSANER!!!
BSW - Insaner isn't a word. It would be more insane.
BSW - Boy am I TIRED!!!
Kell has found some kind of stick with fire on it (a torch). He is walking
BSW - I don't think anyone has a clue how to get out of this damn thing.
Roxx - Me...
BSW - Yeah right you fag.
Roxx - I'll kick your ass Scotty.
Nikki - Please, stop it you two.. I'm too tired to listen to the crap.
Phelen Kell has reached the end of the tunnel. He has arrived at the
BSW - WHO IS THAT MUMMY AND WHY IS HE HERE?!?!
Roxx - He's yo mamma and she is here cause you a bitch ass.
BSW - That's it you damn fag boy!!!
(Big Scott takes a swing at Teddy Roxx. Roxx dodges it and tackles Scott
Nikki - Thank you!!! For the first time ever I'm glad to see you JT!!!
JT - Awww.. It was nothing Nikki. By the way Scott, you owe me fifty
BSW - Oh gee, thanks a lot...
Kell is still carrying the naked woman. He is running through parts
Phelen Kell - Ok... Here's the deal... You really do what I say or this
Naked Woman - FUCK YOU!!! I'll never talk!!!
Phelen Kell - No... Wrong answer bitch!!! I may be nice to all my fans.
Naked Woman - FUCK YOU!!!
Phelen Kell - Ok... You made your decision.
Kell goes over and grabs an axe!!!
BSW - Oh my god he is going to chop her head off!!!
Kell walks over to the naked woman.
Phelen Kell - Now, I'm going to shove this up your ass. I'm going to
Naked Woman - Why don't you just shove it up my...
Kell covers up the woman's mouth.
Phelen Kell - Don't say that kind of stuff!!!
The woman bites Kell in the hand!!! He gets pissed. He is about to ram
Naked Woman - YOU IDIOT!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT???
Kell looks around and heads out of the room without saying a word. The
JT - The mummy deserved it!!! He shouldn't be doing this costing people
Nikki - But he doesn't have to die!!!
Kell is running back through the pyramid, looking for an escape...
BSW - Mad Max just fell like Al Coholic did!!! Oh my god!!! Phelen Kell
JT - But he can't find the way out!!!
The cameras cut to the room where we last saw Al Coholic and Dane Wilt.
Nikki - I hope they all like close spaces... If not they will die.
BSW - Don't say that...
Phelen Kell is still running through the pyramid. He gets back to the
BSW - He is going to win it!!! No one else can stop him!!! Mad Max is
JT - It is all just bull. He shouldn't be the champion. He shouldn't!!!
Nikki - It isn't over yet guys.
JT - Yes it is.. No one can stop Kell...
Kell grabs the vine and starts climbing up. He is headed up to win the
Dane Wilt is still trying to break out of the mummy outfit. WAIT!!!
Titan - NOW!!! DO IT NOW!!!
The cameras cut up to the top of the vine. We see the naked woman. She
BSW - Why is Titan doing this!!? Why does he not want Phelen Kell to win!!!
JT - Kell sucks!!!
Titan has all three men free and up!!! They have no clue what is going on...
Titan - LOOK!!! Damn it... you can't let him win. He isn't championship
Titan hands all three men a map.
Titan - This is the way out... One of you three will win the damn match,
Titan walks off laughing.
BSW - I can't believe him!!!
Nikki - He must really have something against Phelen Kell.
Mad Max, Al Coholic, and Dane Wilt all just look at each other. Then
BSW - They are going to kill each other for that title.
JT - Let them do it... I like seeing blood and gore and all that kind
Nikki - JT, you may have saved Scott from Teddy Roxx, but you sure are
JT - THANKS!!!
(Teddy Roxx is getting up. He starts yelling at JT. He shoves JT...
BSW - As long as they aren't bothering me I don't really care what happens.
Nikki - Lets just concentrate on the match and leave those two out of
Al Coholic and Mad Max are running through the "maze" like pyramid looking
BSW - where the hell are they going???
Nikki - Who knows... After all Titan is the one that give them the map...
Phelen Kell is slowly getting up back in the main part of the pyramid.
BSW - He still has a chance!!! My god that's unbelievable!!!
Nikki - Titan has to be pissed!!!
The cameras cut to some unknown room in the pyramid. We see Titan and
Titan - How the hell could Dane Fuck Myself Wilt let Kell get that damn
Titan and the naked woman exit the room and venture off into the pyramid.
BSW - Kell is in a race against Titan and his opponents. He has all
Kell has made it to the door that Al Coholic and Mad Max just went
Mad Max reaches some stairs, Kell is just two rooms behind him. Mad
Nikki - Mad Max is going to be the world champion!!! It is going to
Mad Max sees the exit!!! A rope is hanging down, all he has to do is
Titan - You aren't going to f'n win this thing!!!
The woman has those same big ass cuters she used earlier!!! She cuts
BSW - HOW CAN ANYONE WIN NOW!?!?
Nikki - They can't!!!
Titan - Now no one can win damn it... Especially your sorry ass!!!
Titan spits down onto Kell. Kell is pissed. He is looking around to
BSW - He has lost his mind!!!
Nikki - For once I agree.
Mad Max is slowly getting up. Kell and him are not brawling!!! They
BSW - I don't know what they are going to do. Where the hell did Titan go???
The scene cuts to Titan and the naked woman back in the same room we
Nikki - The man is sick and doesn't need to be the vice president of
Phelen Kell is leaving the room!!! He is headed back down the stairs!!!
BSW - This can't go on much longer. Someone has to be dead tired. If
Nikki - I wonder where Phelen Kell went?
BSW - I have no clue...
The camera cuts to the main part of the pyramid. Kell is helping THE
BSW - WHAT?!?!
The camera cuts to Titan's room. He sees what Kell is doing. Titan can't
Titan - WHAT THE...
Kell is now unwrapping the mummy all the way.. IT IS TITAN'S BROTHER
Titan - DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM!!! ILL KILL HIM!!!
Titan and the naked woman get up again and head out of their little room.
BSW - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!
Kell is now running back to where everyone else is. He is at the first
BSW - DAMN HIM!!! He can't keep doing this!!! Someone has to win.
Nikki - But he doesn't want it to be Kell.
Kell is trying to push up!!! He can't find the strength to do it!!!
BSW - He just came out here to set Titan straight!!! Titan is out and
Kell is almost out!!! He grabs the top of the pyramid... and... and...
BSW - Mad Max or Phelen Kell will win it!!!
Nikki - They need to get up!!!
Kell grabs the stilts... He is putting them on... Mad Max is starting
Winner and STILL IWO World Champion - "The Legend" Phelen Kell!!!
BSW - He did it!!! He did it!!! He won what had to be the most complicated
Nikki - I can't believe it!!!
(Kell is out of the pyramid. An IWO official hands him the world title
Titan - YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH... FUCK YOU.. FUCK YOUR TITLE... I'm
(Kell tackles Titan to the ground!!! He is beating the hell out of Titan!!!
BSW - ?¿? is just walking awawy AGAIN!! We have carnage everywhere!!!
Nothing is settled between Mad Max and
Nikki - Where is Jamie at!??! He could stop this!!!
Mad Max is up somhow....he pulls out a rope... He wraps it around Phelen
Kell's neck!!! WAIT!!!
BSW - GOD NO!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS!!!
(The Black Assassin begins moving the truck!!! THIS COULD BREAK PHELEN
Nikki - CUT THE DAMN CAMERA OFF THAT!!! KELL COULD BE DEAD!!!
(Kell is being slung around by his neck by the monster truck... WAIT!!!
BSW - OH...
Nikki - MY...
God - Yes?
(Carnage!!! CARNAGE!!! The Black Assassin went flying through the
BSW - IT'S A UFO!!!
Nikki - IM SCARED!!!
(The UFO locks a beam down onto the pyramid.... The Pyramid floats up
Green Man #1 - We come in peace...
(Just then the US Government sends out three "death" planes... They
BSW - FANS!!! We are out of time!!! Phelen Kell is still the World Champion
Nikki - I'm scared!!!
BSW - Fans... We will see you Friday night for Hostile Takeover!!! And