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FEAR THE DARKNESS!


*The following is intended for a pay per view viewing audience. If you do not like Mature subject matters then please do not read*

(The scene opens up to a jam packed arena in Salem, Mass. The fans are going crazy and fireworks are going off. The camera cuts to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.)

GP - Welcome everyone to FEAR THE DARKNESS!!!

JT - Tonight is going to be huge!!!

GP - Tonight could be the biggest night in IWO history!!! We will crown a new world champion and EVERY title is on the line tonight!!!

Nikki - I don't know how tonight could get any bigger...

("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play. Titan makes his way out. He gets in the ring, he has a microphone. The crowd is cheering him.)

Titan - The reason why I came out here right now is to say this. Jamie put me in charge while he took a personal leave. Well... I'm sorry to let you down, but I can't do this anymore. Titan the VP... Titan the wrestler... Titan the hall of famer... This is it.. My last night... Goodbye IWO... Goodbye all my fans... and thanks for all the memories...

(Titan exits.)

************************************************************************
North American Title Match
Both men will wrestle in a pair of Titan's boxers. The only way to win is to
remove the boxers.
Capital Punishment -c- v. The Raging One w/NAACP

GP: Welcome back!

JT: We never left. This is a pay pew view moron. There are NO COMMERCIALS.

Nikki: No need to get hostile there JT.

JT: You wanna get hostile, eh? I'll go down on you like the two cent whore
you are right here, right now.

Nikki: JT, I like this, "wild" side of you.

GP: You're not gonna, SMACK him?

Nikki: Well...WHY NOT!?!? *SMACK*

JT: Oww...just like the good ole days.

GP: Well, up next we've got our North American Title match up. This one
pits Capital Punishment, our reigning North American Champion, up against the
Raging One.

JT: IF you ask me, both of these guys suck penis.

Nikki: I have to agree with that.

GP: You know who should be in this match?

JT: Who?

GP: Jack in the Box.

JT: That's a good idea.

GP: I know.

Nikki: I kinds like it myself.

GP: He is a two-time North American Champion.

JT: He did have the longest ever IWO North American Title reign in the IWO.

Nikki: And he did lose his title, to someone who wasn't even in the IWO at
the time of the match.

JT: How did that happen?

Nikki: I don't know, ask Jamie, it happened on Hostile Takeover.

GP: I can't even remember the last Hostile Takeover, it was SOOO long ago.

JT: Yeah, well, Jamie says he has stuff to take care of.

Nikki: What kind of stuff?

GP: I think I heard something like he and his wife were having marriage
"troubles."

JT: Whatever that means.

Nikki: Not enough "activity" under the sheets maybe?

JT: That'd be my guess.

GP: Point is, this match is pointless without Jack in the Box. Capital
Punishment? I mean yeah, he was good, back when the IWO BEGAN! Now he
stinks like the rest of them. And then we have the Raging One. Tries to act
crazy like all the other gimmick wrestlers who do the same thing. Jack in
the Box has just raw talent. No gimmicks, just skill.

Nikki: And a hell of a body.

JT: What about my body?

Nikki: What about it?

JT: Ouch...that one hurt Nikki.

GP: Well, while you two are, doing whatever it is that you two do, lets see
if we can get this thing...

(Suddenly, the camera shoots to somewhere in the inner walls of the arena.
Capital Punishment is seen walking through the halls and he is pissed. He is
spitting, and picking things up like tables and chair and HURLING them across
the room. He sees people and almost nails them with the flying debree)

Capital Punishment: I WAS good? I stink like the REST of them? Oh, I'll
show them. I'LL SHOW EM ALL RIGHT! I'LL SHOW EM THAT I'M THE BEST NORTH
AMERICAN CHAMPION THERE EVER WAS, IS, AND WILL BE.

(The camera then flicks to another hallway inside the core of the arena, and
we see the Raging One chatting with Jack in the Box and Joey Rappaport)

Raging One: Yeah, I think I can pull this one off tonight.

Joey Rappaport: I don't know. I haven't been here that long, but from what
I've heard, this Capital Punishment guy is pretty good.

Jack in the Box: You've faced him before! You've faced almost everyone here
before! Don't you get it Joey!?!?

JR: I still don't know what you're talking about Jack, but you're a cool
guy. Lets go grab a beer.

JitB: Sigh...all right.

JR: GOOD LUCK RAGING ONE!

Raging One: (under his breath) What a loser...

(The camera shoots back over to the announce booth. Everyone is sitting
their with blank looks on their faces)

GP: What the hell was that all about?

JT: I don't know, but Capital Punishment looks pretty much ready to deliver
here tonight.

Nikki: Yeah, the Raging One doesn't seem to pumped up back their. This one
could be pretty close.

GP: Either way, we've got a match to start here, so lets...

(Suddenly, "Back that Ass Up" by Whoever sings it plays)

JT: Who could this be?

GP: I dunno.

(Slowly emerging from the top of the entrance way, appears JACK IN THE BOX!
He is wearing his rap clothing. A backwards Ney York Yankees hat. A leather
jacket. His face is even painted black! The crowd is laughing! Jack in the
Box makes his way into the ring and calls for a microphone)

JitB: Yo yo yo JACK IN THE BOX IS IN DA HOOUUUUUUUUUSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!

(Crowd laughs)

JitB: Yo yo yo, now listen up. I'm heres to say one thing and then I gots
ta roll on outsa here.

GP: This guy is a moron.

JitB: I used to be tha NA champion. But now, we gots the jobers and the
losers steppin around with this here belt. I wants it back. And I gets it
back at Monday Night Meltdown. So, to the winner of this match, you betta
BACK YOUR ASS UP! CAUSE I'M A FINE MOTHERFUCKER!

(Jack in the Box leaves the ring and heads up through the back while the
crowd is cheering for his new gimmick. BUt will it last?)

JT: Well that was THE stupidest thing I've ever seen.

Nikki: I kinda like his new look. If only he could speak english while
doing it.

GP: Well, enough about all this. We have a match to start. And, if I'm not
mistaken, we've been trying to get it started for 15 minutes and we have had
no such luck. We have interuptions every god damned second. This was the
last one. This match will start now. If someone comes out of that entrance
way that isn't part of the North American Title match I will tear them apart.

JT: Calm down Greg.

Nikki: Yeah, seriously.

GP: And so, for the last time, lets see if we can get this match started.

(Suddenly, out of no where, from the top of the stadium, a man comes
parachuting down into the ring)

Man who parachuted down: YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! WHOOOOOOOO!

GP: We can't show this on tv, it promotes ruthlessness and self pity.

(Camera cut to a picture of Bill Clinton while the local authorities take
care of the man in the ring)

JT: This is gay.

Nikki: You're gay.

JT: I know.

GP: OK!

JT: Ever had sex with a hat on?

GP: Ummm...

JT: It's quite fun actually.

Nikki: And when do you get any action.

JT: If you must know, your mom was GREAT last night.

Nikki: My mom is a transvestite.

JT: ......

GP: While you two talk amongst yourselves, we're gonna try and get this
match under way here. Is that ok with everybody!?!?

JT: Yep.

Nikki: It's go time Greg.

GP: Ok then. Lets get the introductions under way.

Introducing first, he is the challenger, here is...The Raging One!!!!

(He comes out)

Introducing last, he is the reigning North American Champion, even though
EVERYONE knows that that cool guy Jack in the Box should be the champ...he is
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!!!

(He comes out, and beats up the ring announcer for saying such a RANDOM thing)

Referee: All right, I want a good, clean fight. Now touch fists, and LETS
GET IT ON!!!!

GP: Yeeeeeeehhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

*DING DING*

GP: THIS THING IS UNDERWAY BABY!!!!

(OOC: RO will mean RAGING ONE and CP will mean CAPITAL PUNISHMENT)

RO starts things off by running at CP. CP ducks and comes back with fists of
FIRE!

GP: FIRE! HAHAHAHA!!!

JT: Sigh.

RO hits the ground. CP now delivering kicks to the guy of RO. CP picks of
RO and throws him to the ropes. CP runs and flies and RO. RO hits the
ground hard. CP goes up top, hu jumps, RO moves, CP hits the ground hard.

Nikki: OUCH!

RO picks up CP, BRAINBUSTER! CP is out! RO goes up top, FROGSPLASH!!! THE
COVER!!! 1! 2!! NO!!! HE KICKED OUT! YAY! HE KICKED OUT! THE MATCH
CONTINUES BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO BE 12K!

GP: CP almost lost his precious title there.

JT: OH well, he's an ASS anyways.

Nikki: You're an ass.

JT: Are you as FINE ass MY ASS?

Nikki: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

JT: Bitch!

*SMACK*

JT: WHORE!

*SMACK*

JT: OK, I'LL STOP NOW.

CP and Ro up now and are brawling! RO knocks CP over the ropes. RO follows
over and picks up CP! HE throws him into the ring steps!!! BANG!! BANG!!!
OH YEAH THAT WAS SWEEEEET! RO has CP and he picks him up, tombstone onto the
concrete!! BOOYAH!! UA!!!

GP: What a match so far!

JT: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

RO goes up top...BIG ELBOW DROP INTO CP!!! BOTH MEN LAY MOTIONLESS ON THE
CONCRETE! RO is up first. He picks up CP, NO! reverse by CP! CP with a
snap suplex into the steel steps!!!! RO is out cold!!!

Nikki: PURE CARNAGE!

JT: YES, WE CAN SEE THAT WHORE.

*SMACK*

CP is majorly pissed off. He gets up, picks up RO, and throws him into the
ring. He picks RO back up, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!! TOTALLY INSANE!! CP with
the cover!!! 1! 2!!! 3!!! NO!!! HE GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!! HE GOT THE
SHOULDER UP! IF WE WERE AT THE 12k MARK HE WOULN'T HAVE, BUT SADLY TO SAY
THIS IS ONLY 9 AND A HALF K WHICH MEANS HE CAN'T BE PINNED YET!

JT: This match isn't really that bad.

GP: I told you!

JT: I WAS JUST KIDDING YOU LITTLE PIECE OF ASS SHIT!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nikki: Sigh...

The RO and CP are back up. RO has gone out of the ring and he has a chair.
The ref his yelling at him saying that if he usses that chair, he will burn
in hell. But of course, RO doesn't listen. He slides into the ring and is
met by kicks to the midsection by none other then CP. CP grabs the lose
chair. The ref never said anything about CP not using the chair did he!?!?!?
HAHAHAH!!! CP takes that chair and smacks it across the back of RO!!

JT: OH YEAH!

GP: FINALLY SOME HARDCORE SHIIIT!!!

Nikki: You two disgust me...literally.

JT: SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHORE!

*SMACK*

CP is still delivering chair shots to the back of RO's head. RO is taking a
merciful beating here ladies and gentlemen. Finally, CP throws the chair
aside, goes up top with RO, NO! Reverse by RO and a DDT OFF OF THE TOP ROP
ONTO THE MAT!!!

GP: HOLY SHIT!

JT: THAT WAS INSANE!!!

NIKKI: I AGREE!!

THE COVER!!! 1!!! 2!!! no!!!! FROM THE CROWD COMES JACK IN THE BOX AND HE
BREAKS THE COVER WITH A VICIOUS CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD OF THE RAGING ONE!!
JACK IN THE BOX DROPS THE CHAIR, TAKES CP, DOUBLE ARM DDT ONTO THE CHAIR!!!
HE PUTS CAPITAL PUNISHMENT OVER THE RAGING ONE! THE REF COUNTS!!

GP: 1!

JT: 2!!

NIKKI: 3!!!!!!!

WINNER AND STILL NA CHAMP: CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

GP: That match was insane!

JT: Jack in the Box wants this title, and he knows who he wants to take it
from.

Nikki: Why did he attack those poor men like that?

JT: Oh shut up woman.

*SMACK*

GP: To tell you the truth guys, I saw this coming. I mean Jack came out
here in the beginning in his rap get up. Trying to be all funny and coy with
the fans. No sooner does he come running out, and helps Capital Punishment
to victory.

JT: True. And there he goes. Jack in the Box is finally leaving the ring.
The crowd is booing him.

Nikki: I hate to see this happen to a face. He was a good little face too
wasn't he?

GP: Yeah, he was.

JT: Will you two shut the fuck up!

*SMACK*

JT: Exactly!

Nikki: Well now it looks like his fans have turned on him. They don't like
this display of hatred towards The Raging One and Capital Punishment.

GP: As we know so far, Jack in the Box will be facing Capital Punishment at
MONDAY NIGHT MELTDOWN! WHAT A MATCH THAT'LL BE!

JT: Now lets' get on with things.
****************************************************************
Phelen Kell v. King Sting

(King Sting makes his way out. Phelen Kell hits him from behind with a poodle. 1..2..3..)

Winner - Phelen Kell
****************************************************************GP: Fans, we have a goodin for you tonight!

JT: A goodin?

GP: A goodin!

Nikki: What's a goodin?

GP: When I was a small GP, I took Spanish. My teacher, Wilferdo Navidad,
always said things were a piece of gravy and a goodin!

JT: What are those things?

GP: I don't know. I think he was stoned at the time.

Nikki: Oh. Well that explains a lot.

GP: To this day, I can't speak Spanish.

JT: What were we talking about?

Nikki: Um, the next match I think!

JT: No, I think it was you sleeping with me.

GP: Now, as I recall.....

JT: SHE WAS SAYING SHE WANTED ALL MY MANLINESS!

Nikki: That doesn't sound like me.

JT: I heard it as plain as day! You wanted to suck my.....

*SLAP*

JT: AW!

GP: That sounds like Nikki! Fans, let's get to the ring!

Meygon: LLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages!
The IWO is proud to bring to you the IWO Pacific Title match of the
WORLD...the Pumpkin Patch Brawl!

GP: She should get sued!

JT: No she shouldn't! WHERE does she come up with all this great stuff?

GP: I'm not even going to acknowledge that question.

Nikki: Well fans, we're going to live footage from the IWO pumpkin patch.

JT: We have a pumpkin patch?

GP: Yeah! Didn't you get the memo?

JT: You get memos?

Nikki: Yeah. Didn't you look in you box? It was with your pay check.

JT: You guys get...paid?

GP: Uh, YEAH!

(The shot goes to the pumpkin patch. We see Benny the Cameraman sitting down
on the back of a hay wagon eating some pumpkin pie. You can actually hear him
getting fatter. Joey Rappopport then walks up.)

Rappopport: Benny, where did you get that pumpkin pie?

Benny: Mmmm, (With pie in his mouth.) Ma ma.

Rappopport: Who?

Benny: (With pie in his mouth.) Ma ma.

Rappopport: Swallow, then tell me.

Benny: (He swallows all the pie in his mouth.) Mad Max.

(Just then, Mad Max jumps from the top of the hay ride onto Joey Rappopport.
He starts nailing him in the face.)

JT: Ouch! That has to kill! Why isn't Benny helping him?

Nikki: It looks like he's too enthralled in his pie. Benny's a pie man.

GP: Back to the match, Max has got Rappopport by the hair and pounds his head
into the hay.

JT: It looks like Rappopport is in bad shape.

Nikki: WAIT! Max just knocker Benny's pie to the ground! They're ruined!

GP: It's go time!

(Benny just turns and looks at Mad Max. Benny's eyes go completely red with
blood. The sky begins to fill with clouds. Veins pop out of Benny's head.
Lightening starts striking everywhere in the pumpkin patch.)

Max: Um, oops.

Benny: You ruined my pie. NOW YOU MUST DIE!

(Benny looks at Max with a funny look. Max lifts into the air and starts
yelling.)

JT: Good God! Benny the Cameraman is possessed!

GP: I just think he really liked those pumpkin pies!

(Lightening hits the hay wagon. The hay catches on fire. Rappopport crawls
out of the wagon to safety. All of a sudden, lightening hits Benny and he
falls over. Max falls into the fire. The wagon then explodes.)

Nikki: MAX WAS IN THERE WHEN IT BLEW UP!

JT: HE'S DEAD!!

(All of a sudden, we say Mad Max run out of the fire with his hair on fire.)

Max: MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!

GP: Doesn't he know to stop drop and role?

JT: Maybe he missed that video in school.

Nikki: Rappopport walks over to Max and lifts him up. Side walk slam!

GP: Rappopport isn't going for the pin! What is he thinking?

JT: It looks like he's going to check on Benny. After all, he was struck by
lightening.

GP: Well, that makes sense.

(Rappopport crawls over to Benny and checks on him.)

Rappopport: Benny? Benny man? Are you okay? NO! YOU CAN'T DIE ON ME MAN! NO!

(Benny looks at Joey.)

Benny: I'm okay man. (Crying.) But he ruined my pie!

Joey: Don't worry! I'll get you some more pies!

Benny: (Crying.) Thanks man. YOU'RE THE GREATEST!

(Benny and Joey embrace. Just then, the sound of two children talking is
heard. Both Benny and Joey look in to see who it is. It is none other
than....LINOCE AND SALLY FROM "PEANUTS"!)

Linoce: I'm telling you Sally, the Great Pumpkin does exist!

Sally: No it doesn't! You probably just made the whole thing up!

(Just then, we see the leaves from one of the pumpkins lift up on its own. It
grabs Linoce by the neck and pulls him toward the pumpkin.)

Sally: LINOCE!

(Linoce is pulled into the pumpkin. He is slowly digested inside.)

JT: WHAT THE **** WAS THAT!?!

Nikki: THE PUMPKINS ALIVE!

GP: BUT HOW?

JT: I think the answer comes from the building next to the pumpkin patch.

Nikki: WHAT IS THAT?

JT: The IWO nuclear waste plant.

GP: WHAT!?!

JT: A nuclear waste plant! If you look in the river that runs by the pumpkin
patch, you'll see that they are dumping chemicals into the river and pumpkin
patch!

Nikki: Nice going Jamie! Now the live pumpkin is going to kill us all!

GP: Look! The pumpkin has Sally! It just ate her!

JT: How long is it before it gets Charlie Brown?

Nikki: Well, being the hero Rappopport is, he's gone after the pumpkin!

GP: Benny's with him!

Nikki: The pumpkin has Benny and its pulling him in! NO!

GP: RAPPOPPORT COMES RUNNING! KAMIKAZE KICK TO THE PUMPKIN! THE PUMPKIN HAS
BURSTED OPEN!

JT: YEAH!

Nikki: Pumpkin goo has covered the ground and Benny is lying in it. HE'S
STARTING TO EAT IT! I GUESS BENNY GETS HIS PUMPKIN AFTER ALL!

GP: WAIT! Mad Max jumps into the pumpkin patch! He and Joey are dukin it out!
Atomic drop by Joey! Max is down!

JT: Joey lifts Max up, jackhammer!

Nikki: Now all we need is a spear.

JT: You know, I've been wondering something.

Nikki: What?

JT: What is the Pacific Champion champion of?

GP: The Pacific!

JT: The Pacific what?

GP: Ummm, back to the match!

Nikki: Max gouges Joey in the eyes! This could be a turning point in this
match!

JT: Max sets Joey up, POWERBOMB!

Nikki: Max with the cover!

1......2.....NO!

GP: Joey is still in this!

Nikki: He's got to be tired. Killing that toxic pumpkin and all.

JT: Max pulls Joey up. CHOP!

GP: WHOO!

JT: CHOP!

GP: WHOO!

JT: CHOP!

GP: WHOO!

Nikki: STOP!

GP and JT: Okay.

Nikki: Max lifts Joey on his shoulders. DVD!

JT: Max with the cover!

1.....2......NO!

GP: Max is slow to get up this time. He pulls Joey up. Joey with a DDT out of
nowhere!

Nikki: Max is up, but Joey is in control. KAMAKAZI KICK! This could be all!

(Benny tosses back a handful of pumpkin seeds. It nails Joey in the back of
the head. He falls to the ground.)

Benny: OOPS! Sorry Joey!

GP: Benny just RUINED Jeoy's chances! He had it won!

Nikki: Don't worry! The match isn't over yet!

JT: Max is up and he grabs Joey Rappopport. Belly to belly suplex into another
hay wagon!

GP: He closes the door and Jeoy is in the wagon!

JT: Wait! Here comes a drunken dead beat farmer!

Max: HEY! Drunken dead beat farmer!

Drunken Dead Beat Farmer: Yeah.

Max: Drive me, um, some place!

Drunken Dead Beat Farmer: Okay.

(Max tosses Drunken Dead Beat Farmer the keys to the hay wagon. The Drunk
gets into the front seat of the car. Max jumps in and starts going after
Rappopport. The ref jumps in after them.)

GP: This match is going to the road!

JT: The driver of the car is drunk though!

GP: This could be....bad!

Nikki: They are now on the state highway. We've got our IWO helicopter
following them through this entire thing.

JT: It looks like the car is weaving from lane to lane at this point.

GP: WAIT! There's a police car. HE'S PULLING THE DRUNKEN DEAD BEAT FARMER
OVER!

JT: NO! THE DRUNKEN DEAD BEAT FARMER IS SPEEDING UP! WE'VE NOW GOT THE ENTIRE
STATE TROOPERS FROM MASSECHESUETS CHASING OUR WRESTLERS IN A HAY WAGON!

Nikki: WOW!

GP: Max has Joey up and lands a pile driver in the hay wagon. That is going
to change this match completely.

JT: NO! The State Troopers jsut drew their guns! They're about to open fire!

GP: THIS WILL KILL TWO HUGE IWO STARS!

Nikki: WAIT! Our IWO helicopter has opened fire on the Sate Troopers! They're
using machine guns on the cars!

JT: All the cars blew up! The hay wagon is being followed by a wall of flame!

Nikki: The Druken Dead Beat Farmer is speeding up! WAIT! The hay wagon
stopped!

JT: What happened?

GP: HE RAN OUT OF GAS!

(The wall of flame comes straight toward the hay wagon. Both wrestlers jump
out of the hay wagon and onto the ditch next to the road. The wall of flame
engulfs the car and the Drunken Dead Beat Farmer.)

Nikki: Well, this marks the end of the Drunken Dead Beat Farmer.

JT: He'll be missed.

Nikki: Well, Rappopport now has Max up, and a swinging neck breaker! Joey for
the cover!

................

GP: WAIT! THE REF WAS IN THE HAY WAGON WHEN IT WENT UP IN FLAMES!

JT: Joey't got to be mad!

Nikki: WAIT! Look at the helicopter!

(Suddenly, a ref jumps out of the helicopter. A parachute open on him and he
parachutes next to the two men. He's down for the count!)

1.....2.....NO!

GP: You know he would have gotten them if the count had been any sooner!

JT: We don't KNOW anything! We only think! We don't KNOW!

GP: I do!

Nikki: Well, here comes an eighteen wheeler. It stops by the two wrestlers
for some reason. I wonder why?

GP: Benny the Cammeraman just jumped out! He STOLE an eighteen wheeler!

JT: Stealer!

Nikki: Benny pops the back of the eighteen wheeler open and points Joey to
it. Joey grabs Max and throws him into the back. Joey jumps in afterward
followed by the ref. We've now got an eighteen wheeler cam!

JT: It looks like the back is filled with weapons! We've got chairs, bats,
and some needles. Phelen Kell would be at home in there!

GP: COME ON! Nothing was proven!

JT: You know the rule. Guilty until proven inocent.

Nikki: I think it's the other way around.

JT: SHUT UP!

GP: Well, Benny is driving, and it's pretty bumpy. WAIT!

(A chair flies into the camera and the screen goes black. We go to the
announce table.)

JT: Fans, the camera is out, but we'll be back when it comes back on.

GP: So.......

Nikki: Yeah.......

JT: You read any good books?

GP: No.

(The camera comes back to the two men fighting in the pumpkin patch. The
eighteen wheeler lays turned over in the pumpkin patch. Fire is covering it.
Benny is right back to eating the pumpkin.)

JT: WOW!

GP: Both men are back to just laying blows into each others heads. Max goes
down! Joey's signaling for the Kamikazi Kick.

(For no apparent reason, toxic chemicals are air dropped from the sky. They
all fall and Joey and he is knocked out.)

GP: Well.....

JT: DAMN!

Nikki: It appears that a weird green fungus is beginning to grow on Joey. I
don't know if he can breathe!

GP: Max covers him!

1.....2......NO!

JT: THAT WAS SO CLOSE!

GP: Something's happening to the fungus on Rappopport. It has covered him!

Nikki: It just split off of him!

(Suddenly, we see the unthinkable. TWO Joey Rappopports standing face to
face.)

JT: GOOD GOD!

GP: Both of the Rappopport clones are now fighting and Max is just watching.

Nikki: Um, Rappopport grabs Rappopport by the neck and starts choking him to
the ground.

JT: Rappopport with a low blow to Rappopport.

GP: DDT from Rappopport to Rappopport.

JT: Rappopport springs up. KAMAKAZI KICK FROM BOTH RAPPOPPORTS! BOTH MEN ARE
DOWN!

Nikki: Mad Max covers Rappopport. The ref goes down!

.............

JT: What?

GP: Look! The Rappopport Max is covering is desolving! It's has to be the
fake.

Nikki: Max gets up and turns around. BOOT TO THE FACE FROM THE REAL
RAPPOPPORT!

GP: Rappopport grabs Max, double arm DDT!

JT: Rappopport with a cover!

1......2........NO!

JT: Max reaches for a chair on the ground, and nails Rappopport with it!
Rappopport is down and bleeding!

Nikki: What is Max going to do?

GP: Max is yelling for something in the sky!

(Bat falls out of the sky and lands in Max's hands.)

Nikki: WOW!

JT: He's got Bat and starts driving it into Rappopport's skull.

GP: WAIT! Here comes Benny! He jumps up! Fame-ass-er on Max! That could have
crushed Max's skull!

Nikki: Rappopport and Max both lay next to each other side by side knocked
out.

JT: This is too much!

(Out of no where, an egg lands on Joey Rappopport. Then on on Mad Max.)

GP: IT CAN'T BE!

Nikki: THEY WOULDN'T!

JT: THEY'RE EGGING THE WRESTLERS!

(Some toilet paper lands on both men.)

JT: AND THEY'RE BEING ROLED!

GP: Rappopport leans over and covers Max!

1....2.....NO!

Nikki: BARELY!

GP: Both men have stagered up to their feet. HERE COMES BENNY WITH THE
PACIFIC TITLE BELT!

JT: He runs at Max and Max ducks!

Nikki: He just nailed Joey in the head with the belt! Joey is down and out.
Benny looks around and runs over to eat more pumpkin!

GP: WHY? HE JUST KNOCKED HIS MAN OUT!

JT: Max with a cover!

1.....2.......NO!

Nikki: SO CLOSE!

JT: Yet so far.

GP: Both men are visibly dazed from this match so far. They are sorta just
punching each other, although I think Benny could give a stronger punch at
this point.

JT: Both men just nailed each other in the face! Both fall down knocked out!

(Just then, rain begins to fall on both men.)

Nikki: Oh great! It's raining!

JT: I guess that match will have to finish at a later date.

GP: NO JT! We'll fight even in the rain! That's the IWO promise!

JT: I thought it was less commercials more sex?

GP: Ummm, shut up!

Nikki: Well, the rain is actually helping both men. They are to their feet
now.

JT: It looks like they have their second wind now.

GP: Both men are now fighting toward the nuclear waste plant!

Nikki: This can't be good!

GP: Not good at all!

JT: They are now in the sign in area of the nuclear waste plant!

(A secratery stands up at her desk in the front office.)

Secratery: Excuse me, but do you have an appointment?

Max: Shut up bitch!

Secratery: I take it you don't have an appointment then.

Max: Go to hell!

(The secratery runs off crying.)

Nikki: AW! Max hurt her feelings!

GP: Well, both men have battled onto the floor of the nuclear waste plant.

JT: Now, let me get this straight. The plant produces nuclear waste.

GP: Yeah.

JT: I don't see how that could make money.

GP: Well, Jamie owns it, so he must know something we don't.

Nikki: They are now on a scaffold ABOVE one of the vats of nuclear waste! If
they fall in, it could be bad!

GP: They'd glow!

JT: POWERBOMB BY RAPPOPPORT!

Nikki: Max is down and out!

(Rappopport looks in the nuclear waste vat in horror.)

Rappopport: Get a camera in there!

(A camera looks down into the vat. We see, the unthinkable. All the jobbers
of the past. Men like, Enrage and Chuckles the Clown being sturred up in the
nuclear waste.)

Nikki: THAT'S WHERE ALL THE JOBBERS GO!

JT: From behind Max pushes Rappopport over the edge!

GP: GOD! Rappopport is hanging onto the scaffolding with one hand! If he lets
go, he'll fall into the vat!

Nikki: HE LET GO!

(Rappopport falls, falls, falls. The end.)


(NOT REALLY! Out of nowhere, Benny the Cammeraman flies by in a mini
helicopter. Joey grabs on and Benny flies him to the scaffolding.)

GP: RAPPOPPORT IS SAFE! HE DIVES FROM THE HELICOPTER ONTO MAD MAX!

JT: What a move! He's now laying fists into Max's head.

Nikki: WAIT! Look at the helicopter!

(Apperently, Benny doesn't know how to drive helicopters. He crashes into a
beam. The helicopter crashes into the vat. Forutnently, Benny dove out at the
last second.)

Nikki: Thank God Benny is safe!

JT: BUT THE HELICPOTER IS IN THE VAT!

Nikki: What's wrong?

GP: IF ANY OBJECT GETS INTO THAT VAT, WE GO INTO MELTDOWN!

Nikki: BUT MONDAY IS TOMMOROW!

JT: NOT THAT KIND OF MELTDOWN! NUCLEAR MELTDOWN! THE BUILDING IS ABOUT TO
BLOW UP!

Nikki: That can't be good.

GP: NO, IT ISN'T!

JT: Both men are high tailing it out of the building! They are now outside
and heading for the pumpkin patch!


patch!&127;&127;*BOOOMMM!*

(A large mushroom cloud appears on the screen. Then it goes completely white.
We wait about five minutes, then we see a new scene. It is the same planted
area where the pumpkin patch wast, except all the plants are on fire. One
thing stays the same. Benny sits eating the remains of the toxic and now
nuclear pumpkin. We see both of our wrestlers lying around on the ground
roling around in pain. Rappopport is actually glowing in some places. Max
manages to role over on Rappopport for the cover! NO! REF! Just then, a
hummer appears with the IWO logo on it. A ref jumps out and counts.)

1.......2.........3!

Nikki: Are we back on?

GP: IT'S OVER!

JT: MAX IS THE NEW PACIFIC CHAMPION!

Nikki: HE'S THE CHAMPION OF THE PACIFIC!

GP: Well, we've seen some of America's most beloved cartoon characters eaten
by a toxic pumpkin, Benny the Cameraman shot by lightening, Joey Rappopport
taken out by toxic chemicals, a Rappopport clone, a nuclear blast, and not to
mention the death of the Druken Dead Beat Farmer and some State Troopers!

JT: WOW!

Nikki: LOOK AT BENNY! He's still eating the remains of the pumpkin!

JT: Isn't that toxic and nuclear pumpkin?

GP: I think Benny is an equal food eating man! WAIT!!!

("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begin to play. Titan makes his way out.)

Titan - New match!!! Mad Max you aren't the Pacific Champion, the title is vacant and we will have a match right now.. Mad Max against "Shrimp" Samuel Potright!!!

(Potright runs out. Max is out... Potright with the cover..1..2..3..)

Winner and new Pacific Champion - Samuel "Shrimp" Potright!!!

************************************************************************


Four-Way Free For All
G-Dogg v. Shane Andrews v. Ian Kain v. Sabbath

Meygon-Ummmm...This thing...

GP-Its called a match.

Meygon-Oh yeah this match is scheduled for one fall...Coming to the ring first..he comes from whats this word?

GP-Why did they ever hire this dumb b**ch?

Meygon-Hey I'm not that dumb. Anyway before Greg gave his uneeded two senses. Coming to the ring a big beefy hunky guy...Shane Andrews.

::"My Own worst Enemy" by Lit plays and he walks out to your typical burst of pyro technics with a mild pop from the crowd.::

Meygon-And next to the ring from..ummmmm..this word is too big.

JT-BUT YOUR BREASTS AREN'T!!!

Meygon-Thanks J!!! Anyway skipping the big words................IAN KAIN!!

::"Whatever" by GodSmack plays and he walks out to a burst of flames and few nice primetime hoes. He gets a mild pop from the crowd but most of the cheering is for the hoes. ::

Meygon-Next..blah...blah..big word....bigger word.....blah..blah...ugly guy named Sabbath come out!

::"Bum BUM Song" by Tom Green and he walks outto a funky flashy strobe light thing. He walks to round of boos and gets hit in the head with a can of surge.The Cmaera zooms in on the can of Surge.::

JT-BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!! BUY SURGE!!

Nikki-Got to get those endorsements in.

GP-Yeah its a crying shame.

JT-Pays the bills.

GP-Yeah....

Meygon-Next from the ghetto...or he likes to think so....he is the ghetto fabulous.......G-DOGG!!

::"Quit Storm" by Mobb Deep plays and he walks out to a burst of red pyro technics. He gets a huge cheer from the crowd along with few nice pair of panties thrown at him::

JT-Why can't panties be thrown at me?

Nikki-Cause your an ugly bastard.

JT-Says you...

Nikki-I'm the onyl one that counts.

GP-anyway folks...All four mean start off the match circling each other like a pack of dogs. Not one man seems to want to make the first move and leave themselves open for attack. Andrews takes a step towards Kain and Sabbath smacks him down to the ring with a lariet. But before he can follow up G-Dogg takes him down with a picture perfect spear! G-dogg laying the rights and lefts to Sabbath and Kain is stomping on Andrews. Kain picks up Andrews and tosses him tot he ropes. An old fashioned hip toss helps Andrews back down to the mat. Kain picks up Andrews and body slams him into the mat he follows up with a leg drop across the throat! G-dogg has Sabbath on the top turnbuckle and superbombs him onto the concrete outside the ring. G-dogg follows up with a moonsault! G-dogg picks up Sabbath and throws him into the steel steps. In the ring Kain is on the recieving end of a monsterous DDT from Andrews. Andrews goes for a pin but Kain quickly kicks out without even a one count. Andrews sends Kain flying outside and crashing into G-dogg like a human missle.

JT-It's raining bodies in this match.

Nikki-More like it raining men. Halelujah!

JT-Getting a little happy there.

Nikki-I know your happy about it raining men JT.

JT-Shut up! I don't curve that way...

Nikki-Yet.

Jt-Shut up you skanky hoe!

Nikki-::smacks JT::Your mom's a skany hoe.

JT-::rubbing his cheek::So what...

GP-And back to more important matter at hand besides the pointless abuse JT gets. Hold on....JT you should sue this B**CH!

Nikki-B**ch!

GP-Slap me and I'll sue you for abuse!

JT-Yeah smack me b**ch and I'll sue your skany a$$!

Nikki-Grrrr....I HATE MEN!!

JT-And I hate b**ches!

Nikki-SHUT UP.

JT-What are you going to do?

Nikki-um.....

Gp-NOTHING SO LET ME GET BACK TO THE MATCH! Kain and G-dogg are exchanging punches on the outsside of the ring while Sabbath and Andrews fight their way up the ramp way. Sabbath pile drives Andrews into the steel grating and follows up with a few quick stomps. Sabbath now dragging Kain up to the top of the rampway..WHAT THE F**K! ANDREWS HAS JUST BEEN SENT FLYING INTO OUR ANNOUNCING TABLE!! G-dogg pulls Andrews up by his hair and smacks down to the floor. G-dogg reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. He sents the table up and lays Andrews on it. G-dogg On the apron and is climbing to the top turnbuckle. G-dogg goes for a moonsault but Andrews rolls off the table and G-dogg crashes through it!OH MY GOD!!! SABBATH JUST THREW KAIN OFF THE TOP OF THE RAMP WAY! HE WENT SREAMING ALL THE WAY DOWN WITH A SMACK!! DEAR GOD!! KAIN MAYBE DEAD!! HOLY S**T!!

Nikki-That is just horrible!

JT-I love it voilence! More! More! KIll this b**ch next to me!

NIkki-Your one sick bastard!

JT-It's all because of my idol Jerry the King Lawler!

Nikki-Whatever...your lucky I can't smack you...you...you...PRICK!

JT-Yeah whatever!

GP-Andrews is slamming G-dogg's head into the ring pole over and over again! He pulls G-dogg's head back and shows it to the camera blood is streaming from his forhead.

JT-Blood got to love it!

GP-Andrews with a Brain buster on the outside that could have broken G-doggs neck. The ref has lost all sorts of control and is now just sitting in the ring playing a game of solitare. I wonder where he got cards from? Anyway Kain catches Andrews in the back of the head with a steel chair. Andrews goes down like a sack of bricks! Kain is smashing Andrews ribs over and over again with round edge of the chair. G-dogg gets to his knees and gets a chair shot between his eyes as a reward for his trouble. Kain throws the chair down and rolls Andrews into the ring. Kain throws Andrews into the ropes....Andrews coming off the ropes with a flying head scissors that takes Kain down for a split second. Kain is back up Andrews whips him around with an arm bar to the mat. The ref stills has his card game going and looks like he is about to win. Kain's back up lickety split and Andrews cataches him with a drop kick to his chest. Andrews is just exploding with engery despite whatever damage is done to his ribs its not seeming to phase him. He picks up Kain and delivers a swinging neckbreaker Andrews picks up Kain and delivers a Somoan Drop! Andrews follows up with a elbow to Kain's ribs.

Nikki-Andrew has a lot of vitality...that could be useful.

JT-Skank! Slut!

Nikki-Whatever but I'll be happy this night while you think about stuff that can fit up you...

GP-NIKKI KIDS STILL WATCH THIS SHOW!

Nikki-Well you two started this with this whole lawsuit thing.

GP-Well you need anger management just try to refrain from saying things like that.

Nikki-Like what!

GP-SAYING THAT JT STICKS STUFF UP HIS DIRTY A$$!!OH F**K!

Nikki-Good job thanks..at least I didn't say it.

JT-I DON'T PUT ANYTHING UP MY A$$!!

Gp-Yeah whatever.....G-dogg has finally gotten to his feet and is climbing the apron. Andrews sees G-dogg on the apron and takes advatage by throwing Kain into the ropes and G-dogg.G-dogg flys off the apron and smashes his back against the safety rail. Kain bounces into a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Andrews goes for the pin..but he ref isn't counting!? He's too busy in his game of solitaire to even notice the pin attempt by Andrews.Andrews stands up and walks over to the ref he kicks the cards away sending them flying everywhere. The ref looks pissed off...

JT-What's the poor baby going to do?

Nikki-Don't hurt his man meat!

GP-The ref with a low blow!? The ref low blowed Andrews!? What the hell!

NIkki-Damn it you hit the man meat! WHY THE MAN MEAT!

JT-Why do you call it such a dumb name?

Nikki-Shut up.

JT-Why should you can't smack me.

GP-Well no that I think about she can slap you because she can say it was self defense...

Nikki-ALL RIGHT::she starts smacking the s**t out of JT::

GP-BUT HE HAS TO TRY TO ATTACK YOUR FIRST!

Nikki-Damn...

JT-My aching jaw...

Nikki-Maybe that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.

GP-Kain has the upper hand in the ring right now and is slamming Andrews head into the turnbuckle. Kain with a Irish whip into the corner which he follows up with a big splash. Andrews is staggering on his feet and Kain capitalizes with a Northern Lights Suplex. Lays his boots into Andrews tender ribs a few more times. Kain goes for the pin and hooks the leg...1....2....NO G-DOGG BROKE UP THE COUNT!! G-dogg has hollow steel pipe in his hands like a baseball bat and he just hit a home run with Kain's head. G-dogg is now playing golf with Andrews battered ribs. Andrews is....oh this is gross...he's coughing up blood.

JT-That's not gross its great! I live for this kind of stuff.

GP-That makes your gross then.

JT-No it makes me a typical wrestling fan...WE WANT BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOOOOOOD!

Nikki-The first gay vampire.

JT-Shut up! I said I don't roll that way!

Nikki-So you say...some people call that denial.

JT-Shut up I don't want to here this!

GP-G-dogg throws aside the blood covered steel pipe and pins the battered Andrews. But before the ref can count one kain breaks it up. Kain and G-dogg are exchanging lefts and rights like Hollyfield and Lennox Lewis. Kain with a kick to the gut into a running tiger bomb. But he only gets a one count before G-doog kicks out of the pin. Kain picks up G-dogg and Gorrilla Press Slams him into the corwd. He lands in a row of empty chairs. Kain climbs out of the ring and goes after G-dogg. G-dogg is up on his feet and he catches Kain with chair to the head as he climbs the safety rail. kains forhead is busted open and more blood starts to pour out. G-dogg picks up Kain and powerbombs him onto the concrete.WHAT A SICKENING SPLAT!

JT_I'm loving every second of this match.

Nikki-You would.

GP-G-dogg picks up Kain and power slams him onto the concrete. G-dogg looks up and Andrews's flys at him with a Corkscrew PLancha. G-dogg is completely leveled and the crowd is going wild. Andrews picks himself up along with G-dogg. Andrews delivers a back breaker across the safety rail to G-dogg. Andrews pulls G-dogg off of the rail and pile drives him onto a steel chair. Kain makes his way to one knee but is droped by a dropkick from Andrews. Andrews takes a chair and sandwiches Kain's ankle between it. Andrews jumps up and down on the Chair.Kain is screaming in pain...OH MY GOD! DID YOU HEAR THAT! KAIN'S ANKLE HAS JUST BEEN BROKEN BEFORE OUR EYES! HOW SICK ARE THESE MEN!

Nikki-This match is getting way ouy of hand.

JT-No its just getting good. More blood! More injuries!

Nikki-Your really a sadistic little man.

JT-The way you like it baby.

Nikki-F**k the law suit sue me if you want.::she slaps JT::

JT-Ow! You just wait!

Nikki-Yeah. yeah.

GP-Andrews has now buried Kain in a mound of steel chairs. He picks up G-dogg and throws him over the guard rail. Andrews picks up part of the steel steps and slams it into the back of G-dogg. Andrews picks up G-dogg and Irish whips him..no G-dogg reversed it somehow and sends Andrews face first in the the ring post. Andrews staggers back as G-dogg jumps on the apron. G-dogg leaps to the middle rope and delivers an asai moonsualt to the staggering Andrews. G-dogg pulls himself up and rolls Andrews into the ring. G-dogg rolls into the ring and Andrews kicks him in the back of the head. Andrews chokes G-dogg with his boot..he lets up G-dogg gasps for air.

JT-Kill! Kill! Kill him! I demand blood! I must have blood!

Nikki-I swear your Satan himself.

JT-Well it is halloween...you never know...

Nikki-Stop it.

JT-Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha....maybe I want your soul...

Nikki-JT your scaring me...Greg make him stop.

GP-I can't control him. He's a naturaul born sicko.

Nikki-Still maybe we should get him commited.

GP-Nah that would be a waste of money and time. It is just his nature to be that way.

Nikki-Well I guess you hvae a valid point there.

GP-So just slap him and endure him because JT will never change.

JT-Damn skippy.

Nikki-I choose the first choice.

JT-Huh?

Nikki-To slap you!!::smacks JT again::

JT-......I really hate you.

Nikki-Yeah whatever.

GP-In the ring Andrews is trying to put G-dogg away with a sleeper hold. G-dogg is barely on his feet and struggling to stay awake. G_dogg looks like he is going down but bursts with a shot of energy and elbow to the bruised and maybe broken ribs of Andrews. Andrews coughs up some more blood and drops to one knee. G-dogg sends him to the mat with a jumping knee into his jaw. G-dogg picks up Andrews and delivers a massive Shoulder breaker.G-dogg spins Andrews around with a huge short arm clothesline that could hvae taken off his head.

JT-That would be a great way to end this match.

Nikki-Yeah another murder is what this company needs.

JT-Now your seeing the light.

Nikki-I was being sarcastic jacka$$.

JT-Oh well..you should still see the light.

Nikki-And what would that be?

JT-That blood, guts, and gore f**king rock! And without that the IWO would be as boring as those other feds.

Nikki-Whatever your still sicko that needs mental help.

Jt-Whatever you say it changes nothing and the fcat is that you want me bad.

Nikki-No that is the biggest joke I've heard of yet.

JT_Don't deny it.

Nikki-Deny this!::smacks JT::

JT-Ow....

GP-Back to the same ole smae ole I see.

Niki-yeah nothing like the classic slap to get rid of tension.

GP-It looks like G-dogg is using the smae therapy as you because he is slapping the s**t out of Andrews. Now G-dogg is bad mouthing Andrews as he gives him a few more shots to his tender ribs. Did you guys hear what he called his mom?

JT-Now that mean.

Nikki-Yeah.

JT-Even I couldn't say that to someone...now that was a harsh insult.

Nikki-I can't belive he kisses his mother with that mouth.

GP-Well anyways G-dogg is stomping a mud hole in Andrews as he lays in a heap in the corner. G-dogg picks up Andrews and sends him bouncing into the ropes..Spring Board DDT!! What skill it takes to preform a move like that! Wow! G-dogg with a lateral press....1....2...3! G-dogg wins this match and seems to be lucky to survive it.

JT-This match has been great blood, gore, and everything I love in a match.

Nikki-Loook at all the EMT's rushing out to pick up Kain, Andrews, and the badly injured Sabbath.

JT-Anmd the crowd is cheering madly because this has been a great match in a great pay per veiw.

GP-And there is only more greatness to come JT.

JT-Yeah I just hope the rest of the card is just as good as this bloody gorey match.

************************************************************************

GP: Well, here we go! It's time for a Trick or Treat match!

JT: What the hell is a trick or treat match?

Nikki: I think we are about to find out....

<The camera pans outside to Dan Hopkins and Sam Potright. They walk to the
match's location.>

Nikki: Good God... that's a cemetary! And a razorwire cage is lowering around
them!!

Meygon: THIS CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, IT'S FOR THE IWO TV TITLE!
AND IT IS A GRAVEYARD TO HELL TRICK OR TREAT MATCH!

JT: I LOVE THESE THINGS!

Meygon: TO WIN, YOU MUST PUT YOUR OPPONENT THROUGH A FLAMING GLASS CASKET IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE GRAVEYARD! AND NOW, THE PARTICIPANTS!

<Potright steps into the middle of the graveyard.>

Meygon: First, the challenger! From Salem, Massachusetts, he is the Shrimp,
and the #1 Contender to the TV Title, SAMUEL POTRIGHT!!!

<The GOOD Boy raises his TV Title over his head.>

Meygon: AND NOW, HE IS THE IWO TV CHAMPION, FORMER IML EXTREME CHAMPION, THE
MASTER OF THE GOOD ENDING, HE IS THE GOOD BOY, DAN HOPKINS!

<DING DING DING>

GP: And here we go! These two guys fighting in a match invented by our IWO
North American Champion, Capital Punishment. He fought Dunn Gone for a NWF
National Title Shot, and then Inferno defeated Dunn Gone for the National in
this thing,a nd since then, we haven't seen one!

JT: Shut up Parker! It's time these guys get it on! And Samuel Potright
strikes with a left hand! Another! Another! And the Shrimp sends the TV Champ
down with a standing clothesline! Sam now drops an elbow, gets back up, and
drops another! Potright scoops Hopkins up, slams him onto the cold earth!
He's dragging a casket over, Hopkins with a short right from behind, Back
Suplexes Shrimp to the ground!

Nikki: Hopkins opens up the casket, picks Potright up to his shoulder,
Running Powerslam into the coffin! Hopkins slams the lid shut, and is now
trash talking Sam! Wait! Sam with a double legged kick rocketing the casket
lid right back into the face of Hopkins! He puts the lid back on the casket,
picks up the GOOD Boy, Piledriver! Potright just piledrove Dan onto the
casket lid! Potright climbing up onto a tombstone, Moonsault! Shrimp going
over to one of the razorwire tombstones, a signature of this match, he hauls
it up, Hopkins crawling to his feet, SHRIMP DECKED HIM WITH IT! A 100 LB
TOMBSTONE JUST CRASHED INTO THE TV CHAMP'S HEAD!

GP: Hopkins head is busted open early in this one, as he grabs hold of
Shrimp, scoops him up, Powerbomb! He almost put Potright six feet under with
that one! He hooks Sam, DDT! Drives Shrimp's head into the dirt! Hopkins
swings, duck by Potright, Potright with a double leg takedown, He hooks the
legs, he locks on an elevated Boston Crab! He's wrenching back with it!

JT: Hopkins is now up on his hands, trying to break the hold.... he powers
out, shoots Sam through! It's a pinning combonation, but that doesn't matter!
The loser must go through that flaming glass coffin! Hopkins looking around,
he sees the graveyard mauseloum, the cage, and the funeral plots... he drags
Sam by the hair, snapmare takeover! They are near those plots, Potright with
a drop toe hold, he grabs a wooden chair, where the hell..... HE'S GOING TO
THE FLAMING GLASS CASKET! HE SETS THE CHAIR AFIRE!

Nikki: Oh damn... Potright walking back to Hopkins, AND HE JUST BROKE A
FLAMING CHAIR OVER THE CHAMP'S CRANIUM! HOPKINS LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AND UTTERLY
DEAD! He is picked up by Shrimp, Backbreaker! Potright smiling! Legdrop! He
has gotten the living CRAP kicked out of him! Sam now with a standing
moonsault!

GP: This is absolutely and utterly ridiclous....Potright is standing over
Hopkins, Hopkins with an inside cradle! Hopkins is at a sever disadvantahge
in this one! He's a technical wrestler! The only hardcore match he was ever
in involved heroin, and no, I am not kidding! Hopkins draws out a pair of
knucs! Sam leans down to pick him up, and Hopkins with those brass knuckles
right between the eyes!

JT: Hopkins finally back in control! He rams a shoulder into Potright! Again!
Northern Lights Suplex! Hopkins rolls through, hooks Potright again, Head N
Arm Suplex! Rolls through, RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! POTRIGHT SAILS INTO AN OPEN
GRAVE!! BOOM!! A C2 EXPLOSIVE! ANOTHER SIGNATURE OF THIS MATCH! THAT C2 WAS
IN THE OPEN GRAVE, AND THE SHRIMP HAS TO BE FRIED AFTER THAT ONE!!
HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Nikki: That's sick..... Potright picking his charred body up out of that
grave, he has a ticked look on his face, he spins, grabs his opponent, double
underhook, PEDIGREE! Pedigree from Samuel Potright! Hopkins down, Sam has a
steel chair, he places it standing up, he runs, springboards, High Leg
Clothesline! Off the chair again, Twisting Moonsault! Potright is erupting!
He grabs the chair, tosses it to Hopkins! Hopkins catches it, MISSILE
DROPKICKS THE CHAIR BACK INTO HIS FACE!

GP: Potright is running on all cylinders, he picks up the TV Champ, BATTER
FRIED!!! BATTER FRIED (Standing Tornado DDT) ON HOPKINS DRIVINF HIS SKULL
HARD THROUGH THE WOODEN CASKET LID! THESE GUYS LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN IN A
DAMNED CAR ACCIDENT! Hopkins is pissed! Hopkins blocks a punch, another, he
opens up with a right hand! Brawling in the middle of the Graveyard!

JT: Hopkins with a right! A left is blocked, and countered with a throat
thrust by Shrimp! Shrimp hooks Hopkins, Diamond Cutter! No! It's blocked!
Tries again, Blocked again! Shrimp springs off of a tombstone.. ACID DROP!
ACID DROP! ACID DROP!! THE SHRIMP TOOK HOPKINS DOWN! Sam can see the TV Belt
in his grasp! He picks it up off the graveyard floor, AND DRILLS HOPKINS WITH
IT! He scoops a prone GOOD Boy up, TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE IWO TELEVISION
TITLE!

Nikki: Shrimp stands a Casket up on end! What the hell...... HE CLIMBS TO TEH
TOP OF THE DAMN THING! SPRINGS OFF THE CASKET, STRADDLES, MOONSAULT! SPLIT
LEGGED MOONSAULT FROM SAMUEL POTRIGHT! The casket is teetering.. tottering..
IT FALLS! OH MY GOD! IT BROKE OVER SAM POTRIGHT'S SKULL! POTRIGHT IS DOWN AND
OUT! THE GOOD BOY IS DOWN AND OUT!

GP: Potright and Hopkins stumbling over to the edge of this graveyard... they
are in the vicinity of that razorwire cage! They are opening up the cuts on
each other's skull's with big right hands, blood is gushing everywhere!
Potright takes Hopkins head first into the razorwire! He steps back..
charges... SPEAR! POTRIGHT SPEARS HOPKINS THROUGH THE RAZORWIRE CAGE! THEY
ARE OUTSIDE NOW! BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

<BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM! BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT THE BOOMS
MEAN!>

JT: C4 EXPLOSIVES!!! THIS PLACE WAS PERIMETER MINED WITH C4 EXPLOSIVES!
SHRIMP AND HOPKINS ARE DEAD!!!! WAIT... NO THEY ARE NOT!!! THEY'RE STUMBLING
BUMBLING AND RUMBLING!!! WAIT.... HOPKINS AND SHRIMP IN THE VICINITY OF THE
CASKET! HOPKINS WITH A GUT SHOT!!!! A GOOD ENDING! A GOOD ENDING THROUGH TEH
FLAMING GLASS COFFIN!!!! HOPKINS HAS WON!

Meygon: Winner of fall one of the Trick or Treat match is Dan GOOD BOY
Hopkins!

Nikki: FALL ONE?!

Meygon: FALL TWO! A CHAMBER OF HORRORS MATCH!

Nikki: Oh no.. more blood... these two guys dragging themselves back to the
arena, exchanging punches the whole way! They stumble into the basement, and
the door is locked! To win one of these things, you must find the right key
that will unlock the right chest! But the keys are atop fricking ladders!

JT: Shrimp has piece of glass stuck into him... He pulls one out and is
trying to stab Hopkins! This is great! Shrimp with Hopkins, kick, PileDriver!
Piledriver on the cement! Hopkins slowly getting up, Shrimp whips him into
the concrete wall... Hopkins bounces back, Shrimp flapjacks Hopkins....
POTRIGHT PLUNGE (Flapjack/Diamond Cutter)! Shrimp is going up a ladder!

GP: Dan Hopkins sees Shrimp coming up the ladder, He grabs a foot, Shrimp
kicks him away! Potright has the key! He sees Hopkins... Jumps, HURRICANRANA!
HE BURIED HOPKINS' HEAD IN THE CEMENT! He goes over to a chest.... Low Blow
from the GOOD Boy! The GOOD Boy hooks him, PumpHandle Powerslam! Onto one of
those five chests! Hopkins reaching for the key... Drop Toe Hold by Samuel
Potright! Potright leans up.. Indian DeathLock! Slapped on Hopkins!

Nikki: Shrip reaching for the keyhole, he places the key in.... turns it....
No key! But he does find a bag of thumbtacks! Shrimp releases the Deathlock!
He's pouring those thumbtacks down... their coating the floor over by the
ladders... Shrimp has a chair, He swings, misses, Hopkins snatches the chair,
CRACKS IT OVER SHRIMP'S SKULL! GOOD GOD! The Good Boy now heading for the
ladders!

JT: Potright has a ladder of his own.... HE RAMS IT INTO HOPKINS' STOMACH!
HOPKINS SCREAMS OUT IN PAIN! Potright now sets the ladder down on the floor..
he picks Dan up, MICHINOKU DRIVER! ON THE METAL LADDER! Hopkins is down, and
quite possibly out! Shrimp takes his ladder to the side, he climbs it,
springboards off the wall... AND RIDES THE 100 LB LADDER DOWN ACROSS TEH GOOD
BOY'S FACE!! YES!! CHAOS!!! MAYHEM!! BLOOD!!!

GP: Damn... The GOOD Boy's done... no way he survives that....The Shrimp is
climbing a ladder.... wait! DAN HOPKINS HAS DRAGGED HIMSELF UP!!! HE'S
CLIMBING ANOTHER LADDER! HOPKINS HAS A CHAIR IN HIS HAND! HOPKINS DECKS
SHRIMP!! HE WON'T GO DOWN! SHRIMP FIRING OFF RIGHT HANDS! THEY ARE EXCHANGING
BLOWS.. THEY DIVE FOR THE KEY!!!!! HOPKINS HAS IT!!!! SHRIMP GRABS HOPKINS IN
MID AIR!! FACEBUSTER ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!!!!! THESE GUYS HAVE TAKEN AN UNHOLY
AMOUNT OF PUNISHMENT!

Nikki: THIS IS INSANE!! THESE TWO HAVE BEEN BRAWLING FOR ABOUT 25 MINUTES!
Hopkins drives a faceful of tacks into Shrimp's eyes! He uses his key to
unlock another chest, he finds a barbed wire baseball bat! He winds up.....
NUMBER 71! RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES! Dan Hopkins desperately trying to win fall
two.. we have been told this is Two out if Three Falls, so if Hopkins wins,
he retains his Television Title!

JT: There's three more keys up top there...... Hopkins has a ladder.. He uses
it to knock the keys down!!! Brilliant strategy by Hopkins there! He reaches
for a key... Shrimp has a roll of quarters!!!! Shrimp with a low blow with
the quarters! The GOOD Boy can't be feeling too good after that! Shrimp dive
rolls, he grabs the key, Unlocks a chest.... IT'S......
IT'S.........AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!! IT
IS!!! IT'S A......

GP: IT'S A TAKEOUT SHRIMP PLATTER FROM RED LOBSTER!!! SHRIMP IS INCENSED!!!
HE CRACKS IT OVER HOPKINS HEAD!!! DDT ON THE CONCRETE! PICKUP! BACKBREAKER!!
CLOTHESLINE! SHRIMP UNLOADING ON HOPKINS! LOU THESZ PRESS!!! FISTS O' FIRE
FROM THE CRUSTEACEAN! HE ROLLS OFF, LEAPING KNEEDROP!!! POINT OF THE KNEE
WENT RIGHT INTO HOPKINS' THROAT!!! SHRIMP GRABS ONE OF THE TWO LAST KEYS!

Nikki: HE UNLOCKS A CHEST... AND A HANDFUL OF POWDER FLIES OUT!! SHRIMP IS
BLINDED! WAIT!! JACK WALKNER GETTING OUT OF THAT CHEST! HE'S POUNDING ON
SAMUEL POTRIGHT!! DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM TO HELL!! POTRIGHT IS BEING SCREWED
OUT OF HIS OPPORTUNITY AT THE TV TITLE!!!

JT: Dan Hopkins taking his time now... he realizes he has it in the bag! He
opens up with right hands, and Jack Walkner is joining him! Hopkins doubles
over Shrimp, A GOOD ENDING! Shrimp's head smacked the concrete! AND NOW
WHAT?! They are sitting down to eat that shrimp platter!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! Walkner and Hopkins enjoying some shrimp while Shrimp is
lying practically unconsious on the ground!

GP: These two guys still eating shrimp.. if you ask me, these two guys are
severely underestimating Potright... he's one of the few guys that can say he
defeated Joey Rappoport cleanly, he can get out of this! They are having fun
just sitting there eating... the basement is a mess, thumbtacks are
everywhere, ladders are down, chests are down, and Samuel Potright is down,
compliments of A Good Ending.

Nikki: Jack Walkner going over to Shrimp... he's slapping around Shrimp..
SHRIMP REACHES UP!!! HE GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT! CHOKESLAM!! CHOKESLAM!!!
Shrimp picks Walkner up, FLATLINER! WALKNER IS FLATLINED! SHRIMP IS LAUGHING
HIS HEAD OFF!!! AND HE'S.... HE'S.... HE'S TAKING OUT A BOTTLE OF TEQUILA!
HEY, MAS TEQUILA!!!

JT: WHY THE HELL ARE THESE TWO GUYS UNDERESTIMATING EACH OTHER?! POTRIGHT IS
HAVING A TEQUILA... WAIT!!! HE GOES TO TEH FINAL CHEST! UNLOCKS IT, THERE IS
THE BASEMENT KEY!!! HE GRABS IT, AND HE IS HEADED FOR HOPKINS FROM BEHIND!!!
THIS IS GREAT! HOPKINS DOESN'T SEE A BLASTED THING!!!

GP: POTRIGHT HAS THAT BOTTLE OF TEQUILA!!!! CRACK! RIGHT OVER DAN HOPKINS
HEAD!!! SHRIMP INCHING TOWARDS THE DOOR!!! HE CRAWLS...FIVE FEET!!...FOUR
FEET!!!.......THREE...........TWO..........ONE...HE'S THERE! HE REACHES UP...
HE HAS THE KEY IN THE LOCK!!!! HE TURNS IT!!! PUSHES THE DOOR OPEN... SHRIMP
CRAWLS OUT!!! HE HAS WON THE SECOND FALL!!! IT IS ALL EVENED UP!

Meygon: THE WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL, SAMUEL POTRIGHT!! ONCE THESE GUYS GET
TO THE RING, THE ARMAGEDDON MATCH WILL BEGIN!

Nikki: Armageddon Match? Well, these two guys still brawling in the back...
they are both out of the room, and its a dogfight, these two guys are just
punching each other out... Hopkins takes Shrimp head first into the wall,
Shrimp down, Dan with a legdrop. Hopkins gets a chair, he sets it up in the
Hallway.... Shrimp charges, Dan goes for a Drop Toe Hold... DIVE ROLL BY
SHRIMP! OVER THE CHAIR AND LANDS ON HIS FEET! Grabs Hopkins, FACEBUSTER ONTO
THE CHAIR!

JT: They're going up the aisleway now! Shrimp takes Hopkins head first into
the guardrail! Hopkins with a kick, vertical suplex! They are approaching the
ring, and....... WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD?!

GP: THE RING IS LOWERING!!!! THE RING IS DROPPING BELOW THE SURFACE!! A
TRAPDOOR HAS COME UP AND SEALS THE GAP!!!! BOTH MEN WALK ONTO IT!! WHAT THE
HELL?! WHAT THE HELL?! WE HAVE A SCAFFOLD NETWORK LOWERING!!!! THERE ARE
THREE SCAFFOLDS AT VARIOUS HEIGHTS, NOW A CAGE LOWERING AROUND IT! NOW HERE
COMES A HELL IN A CELL!!!!! IT HAS A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM... AND OFFICIALS ARE
RUSHING TO FUSE IT TO THE CAGE! THE TV TITLE!!! THE TV TITLE IS ATOP THE HELL
IN A CELL, WHICH IS ATOP A SCAFFOLDING AND CAGE! THESE GUYS STEPPED ONTO THAT
SCAFFOLD, WHICH NOW HAS TO BE THIRTY FEET UP!! THIS THING IS HANGING HERE
LIKE A GIANT TIME BOMB...........GOOD GOD! IT IS A TIMEBOMB!!! TIMED
EXPLOSIVES ARE ON THIS THING SET FOR TEN MINUTES!

JT: Well, one way or another, this thing will end in ten minutes!!!

Nikki: Goddamn whoever made this thing.... They are fighting atop the first
scaffold, surrounded by a cage... Kick to the gut by Shrimp.. Stunner!
Stunner on Dan Hopkins! The TV Champ is reeling! Shrimp rams him into the
cage! The cage shakes, it doesn't have a bottom! Everyone here is looking up
petrified! Hopkins trying to get back up to his feet, kicked by Shrimp.

JT: This is a great fight..... Hopkins with a low blow! FAMASSER! The
RockerDropper! Dan now opens up with lefts and rights to Shrimp's gut! He
sets him up.. PILEDRIVER!!! PILEDRIVER SHAKES THE ENTIRE SYSTEM! Potright
with a single leg takedown.. he clamps on a figure four?! WHAT A F*CKING
IDIOT!!! THIS THING EXPLODES IN EIGHT MINUTES! DUMB@SS!!!

GP: Shrimp must have heard you.. Jawbreaker! He and Hopkins to the next
scaffold. Exchanging blows atop it! Shrimp takes down Hopkins, delivering
fists to Hopkins' skull! The Shrimp is going berserk! DDT on the scaffold! He
hauls Hopkins to his feet.. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!! HOPKINS THROWN UP TO THE
NEXT SCAFFOLD TIER!

Nikki: This is insane...... beyond belief... they are fighting on the top
scaffold.. its only a jump to the Hell in a Cell.. T-Bone Suplex by Hopkins!
Hopkins swings, Shrimp ducks, Atomic Drop! Shrimp hauls Hopkins up, TombStone
Piledriver! The Shrimp now climbing that cage on the side.... FROG SPLASH OFF
A SUSPENDED CAGE ONTO A SCAFFOLD! Samuel Potright giving this match his
absolute all! Potrgiht with a double underhook...POWERBOMB! PLANTED HIM WITH
A DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB! THE SCAFFOLD JUST CRACKED!!! THERE IS A HUGE
CRACK!

JT: That crack is immense! Shrimp with an Asai Moonsault off the side of the
cage! That scaffold cracks more! Shrimp is up.....SINGLE ARM DDT!! THE
SCAFFOLD HAS GIVEN WAY!!! IT PLUMMETS DOWN THIRTY FEET! SHRIMP AND HOPKINS
CAUGHT ONTO THE CAGE WALL!! Hopkins with a right! Shrimp with a right!
They're teetering on the brink of disaster!!! They climb up.... climb up.....
THEY ARE IN THE CELL!!! Hopkins locks the trap door!

GP: Well, we are in the closing stages of this match..... They are in this
Hell in a Cell.. Potright hooks The GOOD Boy.. Knee TO Face! Good Boy bounces
to his feet, Lariat by Potright! Nearly took his head off! The GOOD Boy
desperate.... LOW BLOW!!! BIG TIME LOW BLOW! Dan Hopkins now... A GOOD
ENDING!!! A GOOD ENDING! Hopkins hit A Good Ending! But he is too out of it
to capitalize!

Nikki: This is just getting ridiclous..... three minutes remain! Hopkins is
acending the cell.. so is Shrimp! They crawl through a hole in the ceiling!
They're now going trade blows atop this cell!! They're 50 feet up! Rights and
lefts atop the cell! Hopkins with Shrimp.....MICHINOKU DRIVER!!! Shrimp
almost got planted through the cage! And now Hopkins looks to the center....
he sees the TV Belt in the middle of the roof....

JT: Hopkins is walking towards his prize.. he's approaching the belt... he
is within five feet.. he see sit.... AND WHAT THE HELL?! BETH IS SWINGING
DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE ARENA! SHE LEAPS ONTO HOPKINS!!! SHE'S TRYING TO
CLAW HIS EYES OUT!!!! HOPKINS IS TICKED! SHRIMP WITH A CHOP BLOCK!!! Beth
grabs teh TV Belt! OH MY GOD! FIVE SECONDS.........
FOUR...........THREE..........TWO............ONE...............ZERO!!!

<KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The entire giant structure blows up!
Fortuantely for the crowd and announcers, a giant screen came up protecting
them from the blast.>

GP: Are we all alright? God.. what a blast! Samuel Potright is lying here on
the ground... he could be dead... Dan Hopkins down.. Beth is down.. clutching
the TV Title! He drops it! Hopkins is up! Potright up... WHAT THE HELL?! THE
GOOD BOY GRABS BETH! He GRABS A MICROPHONE!

Dan Hopkins: Alright Shrimp..... I don't want to have to do this.. but if you
don't let me get that belt... something bad will happen to Beth. Now that
wouldn't be GOOD, would it?

Samuel Potright: ........Go ahead, take it... you rotten bastard.

GP: Dan Hopkins grabs the Tv Title Belt.. he wins.. but this is just plain
sick...

Meygon: YOUR WINNER, AND STILL IWO TELEVISION CHAMPION, "THE GOOD BOY" DAN
HOPKINS!!

Nikki: The crowd is absolutely booing their heads off... after such a
wonderful match.. not like this... Potright is standing there......he has
been completely and utterly jobbed here tonight at Fear the Darkness... Beth
is lying there. She has tears in her eyes...

Beth: I'm sorry Sam......I cost you the TV Title.....

Sam Potright: It's okay......no way in hell that bastard was going to hurt
you. I'll have my day... I'll have my--

<Beth kisses him, not letting him finish as the crowd erupts. After they
finish, they walk to the back, hand in hand.>

************************************************************************
Ladies Title
Tits... I mean Battle Royal. If the guys can do it, so can the ladies.
Lindley -c- v. Ariana v. Caren Dudley v. Sensual Cindy v. Luscious v. Kelli v. Katie v. Kristi v. Crack Whore v. Sonya v. Kate Young vs. Monica Dudley

JT - Finally a match where we can just sit back, watch, and masturbate!!!

Nikki - You know JT, I don't think I want to be out here for this match. It isn't my job to call lesbianistic tendencies. I'll see you guys once this whore fest is over!! And by the way, the ladies title is a damn joke...

(Nikki takes off her headset and gets up. She walks to the back. The crowd has no clue what is going on.)

JT - PMS?

GP - Probably so...

JT - Oh well, atleast we get to see breasts!!! This is going to be awesome!!! Can you feel it in the air Greg? This could turn out to be simply the greatest match in IWO history!!! Do you know what could go on? This is pay per view!!! We could see all kinds of shit!!! I hope we see some strap on action!!! WOOO!!!

GP - You know, I hate to agree with Nikki, but she is right. Titan has just turned this into a big lesbian orgy. Sure people want to see it, but it is tasteless and only done for ratings.

JT - Shut your mouth and know your role bitch. This is about me being happy. So I think you better reckognize!!!

GP - Oh great, stealing WWF phrases now... How nice of you.

JT - Hey man, watch it... Remember DTA... DONT TRUST ANYBODY!!! And that's the bottom line...

GP - You are just so damn gay JT.

JT - Thanks buddy!!!

GP - Weirdo...

JT - Can we get to the breasts now? Are you scared of the breasts? Do you even know what breasts are? Have you ever seen breasts?

GP - Yeah, your moms and sisters last night.

JT - Oh.. Mr. Greg getting a smart ass!!! You must be brave you dick head.

GP - You wanna fight me bitch?

JT - Yeah... sure...

GP - Ok.. lets go.. right now...

JT - COME ON!!!

GP - No.. lets see breasts!!!

JT - YAY!!!

(Porn music begins to play.)

JT - This is going to be so good!!!

(Meygon is in the ring dressed up as a whore. She is celebrating Halloween.. OH wait.. she dresses like this everyday.)

Meygon - Our next match is the ladies hardcore rumble match!!! It is for the IWO Ladies Title!!! The match features the IWO's finest slu... I mean women... Introducing first...

(Sonya comes out. She is wearing a red bikini to match her red hair. She comes out jiggling her breasts. The crowd is going crazy. She heads up to the ring.)

JT - Well, I'd fuck her.. What about you Greg?

GP - Yeah, I like red heads.

JT - I hear Red Heads have red pussy hair.

GP - Some of them actually do and they give good head too.

JT - I can honestly say I've never fucked a red head in any way.

GP - You should try it.

JT - I will one day.

Meygon - SONYA!!! Contestant number two... She is Al Coholic's sister... I give you CRACK WHORE!!!

(Crack Whore makes her way out. She is wearing all black. She is wearing a torn black t-shirt that says "Satan is my fucking co-pilot". Her black bra can be seen through one of the tears. She is wearing black pants. She gets to the ring. She looks like she has been doing crack.)

JT - Now that is one chick I wouldn't want my dick near with a damn ten foot pole. There's no telling what kind of vaginal disease that crack girl has.

GP - I don't know JT... If she is on crack you could do just about anything to her and she probably wouldn't care!!!

JT - True.. But I don't want crabs on my dick...

Meygon - And now here is High Flyer's valet.. KATE YOUNG!!!

(Kate Young comes out wearing actual wrestling gear. The fans boo her!!!)

JT - Now this is just not right. I thought there was a dress code for this match!!!

GP - This is horrible... I agree...

Meygon - And here comes Monica Dudley, Caren Dudley's sister!!!

(The crowd boos as the twin with black hair makes her way out. Her big breasts are jingling.)

JT - Now look at this bitch. She is just like Caren except with Black hair. I mean just think about fucking them both at the same time. It would be awesome!!!

GP - But they hate each other. I don't think they'd be in the same bedroom with each other.

(Sensual Cindy is coming out right behind Monica. After all they are semi-lovers. Sensual Cindy is just damn hot looing.)

GP - Now I think you could get Cindy and Monica in bed at the same time. It would be great!!!

JT - A black head and a red head on my big dick. Oh baby!!! I can see it now!!!

GP - This is great!!! I love being a man!!! I love having a penis!!! that controls me!!!

Meygon - And here comes The KKK!!! Katie, Kristi, and Kelly!!!

(THe KKK make their way out. They are dressed up as cheerleaders. The crowd is going crazy as they make their way out cheering.)

GP - OH YES!!! CHEERLEADING WHORES!!! GET ON MY PENIS NOW BITCHES!!!

GP - RAH RAH REE!! FUCK'EM UP THE ASS!!!

JT - YEAH BABY!!! NOW BITCHES!!!

(They get to the ring. They get up on the ring apron, bend over and pull up their skirts to reveal their red, white, and blue panties. The crowd goes crazy.)

JT - LOOK AT THOSE ASSES!! I WANT TO HUMP THEM BITCHES!!!

Meygon - And here comes The IWO Ladies champion along with her followers... Here is Lindley, Ariana, and Luscious!!!

JT - OH..

GP - MY...

Jose Canseco - GOD....

(Luscious and Ariana are buck naked and down on their knees. They have on dog collars and Lindley has leashes. They are leading her to the ring. Lindley is wearing a black top and black bottoms and black boots. The IWO Ladies title is over her shoulder. The crowd is in shock, trying to catch a glimpse of the nude Luscious and Ariana.)

JT - Well...

GP - This is different...

JT - THEY ARE NAKED!!!

GP - YES!!!

JT - COME OVER HERE SO I CAN SEE THAT DAMN BALD KITTY!!! LET ME PET THE KITTY!!!

GP - MEOW!!! MEOW!!!

Meygon - And here comes... CAREN DUDLEY!!!

(The crowd explodes!!! Dudley makes her way out in a tight bikini. She is waving to the crowd.)

JT - THERE SHE IS!!! THE ONE I WANT!!! The one I'm picking to win this thing because she is the hottest one out here!!! Look at those damn breasts Greg!!!

GP - She is totally awesome. The fans love her.

JT - As do I!!!

GP - I guess this makes everyone for the Women's Hardcore Rumble!!!

JT - LETS GET IT ON!!! LITERALLY!!! I wanna be the refree!!!

GP - We can be double refrees!!!

Meygon - Fans... I'm being told that we have another person that wants to be in this match!!!

GP - Who could this be!?!?

JT - You mean even more breasts!!!

GP - I don't have this on my list... Who is this???

(NIKKI!!! NIKKI MAKES HER WAY OUT!!! She is dressed just like she was when she left. She gets to the ring and grabs the microphone from Meygon.)

Nikki - Ladies, I've been sitting in the back, and this is making me sick. Do you have any ideas what these sickos are saying about you? *pointing to GP and JT*

(The laides look shocked.)

Nikki - They've been saying the most sick things about you. They think all you are are pieces of meat.. MEAT... I know some of you want to be known like that, but others... You know you aren't made to be treated this way... I think it is time to do something about their damn attitudes!!!

(Some of the ladies look angry. They are turned to JT and GP.)

Nikki - Lets get them ladies!!!

(Kate Young, Crack Whore, Sonya, and Nikki get out of the ring and go over to the announcers' table.)

GP - uh-oh...

JT - Not good...

(GP and JT stand up.)

GP - We are sorry, we don't want any problems...

Nikki - Too late for that now Greggie Poo!!!

JT - Oh my, what are you going to do to us?

(Two big dudes appear behind JT and GP. Nikki smiles and points behind them. They turn around and the big dudes pick them up and start carrying them to the back!!! JT and GP are screaming!!! Nikki, Sonya, Crack Whore, and Kate Young all follow the screaming JT and GP to the back.)

Pause for announcer.. No announcers =(
wait... here we go!!!

(From the back appears Potty Mouth Clown, Hung Lou, and Tugboat Buffoon make their way out. They go over and sit at the announers' table. They put on the head sets.)

PMC - YEAH!!! Now this is what I fucking call a fucking good ass bitching time!!!

Hung Lou - Hey man, have you ever seen a penis the size of mine?

*camera pans down to Hung Lou's 2 inch penis.*

PMC - That's one of the smallest little fucks I ever have seen in my fucking damn life!!!

Tugboat Buffoon - YOU BOTH CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

PMC - I don't know how the hell this mother fucker works but I guess we better damn well fucking see how the bitch is going to fucking go down.

Hung Lou - I can't get over how big my dick is. Damn... I should be a porn star.

Tugboat Buffoon - YOU BOTH CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

PMC - HEY dumbass bitch!!!

(PMC squeezes a whoopie cushion in the face of Tugboat Buffoon.)

PMC - THAT WAS FUNNY AS HELL WASNT IT BITCH ASS???

Tugboat Buffoon - YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play. The crowd gets up. Titan makes his way out. The crowd is going crazy. He has a microphone.)

Titan - HELLO NURSES!!! Why am I out here you ask? Well, that question is easy to answer. I see all these nice ladies in the ring. They all are going for one prize.. They all want the IWO Ladies title... And since I know that ladies can get crazy from time to time, I'm calling on TWO... count'em... TWO special guest refrees for this match!!! I give to you... Refree number one... Your ring announcer.. MEYGON!!!

(Meygon waves to the crowd and pulls off her skimpy skirt to reveal refree panties and then pulls off her top to reveal a refree bra.)

Titan - And the second guest refree for the match... I give to you a man that needs no introduction... NEIL "TOE-MAN" LUTSKY!!!

("The Toe Song" from the upcoming IWO music CD begins to play. Neil Lutsky makes his way out dressed up as a refree.)

Titan - Now... The match can get started!!!

(Titan hands the microphone to Neil Lutsky and he heads to the back.)

Neil Lutsky - Ladies... Ladies... Ladies... Before this match gets started we all have to get one thing straight... I see that some of the bitches have left the ring already, that's fine... But the ones that are left... That means you Lindley, Ariana, Caren Dudley, Sensual Cindy, Luscious, Kelly, Katie, Kristy, and Monica Dudley.. OFF WITH YOUR SHOES!!! They are illegal objects in this match... SO TAKE THEM OFF NOW OR YOU WILL BE THROWN OUT OF THE MATCH!!!

Potty Mouth Clown - What a dumb ass bitch. He is a fucking idiot in my damn bitching mind.

Hung Lou - Can imagine what this thing would do to a woman's vagina?
*looking at his 2 inch (when hard) penis.*

Tugboat Buffoon - YOU BOTH CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

(The women take their shoes off. All except Ariana and Luscious who have no shoes on anyway.)

Neil Lutsky - Now that is much better!!! Now you can get it on!!! YEAH!!!

*DING*

Caren Dudley charges at Monica Dudley and takes her down to the mat. She starts clawing at her face. Neil Lutsky is running up to the ring. He pulls a camera from his pocket. He starts taking photographs of... well... if you don't know by now then you need to ask Neil Lutsky for yourself... Sensual Cindy runs over and grabs Caren Dudley by the hair and slings her down to the mat. She starts pounding away on Caren Dudley!!!

Hung Lou - I can honestly say I've never seen anything this big in my entire life.

PMC - What do you get when you cross 9 whores, one title, and two refrees?

Tugboat Buffoon - I'LL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES!!!

PMC - You get tits, dicks, bitches, shits, fucks, asses, ass lickers, and shit like that bitch!

Hung Lou - Damn this is a monster.

Monica Dudley has huge claw marks on her face. Blood is coming from one of the marks. She is lying on the mat crying, holding her face. Sensual Cindy is now ripping at Caren Dudley's hair. Meygon goes over and warns Sensual Cindy to get off of Dudley or she'll throw her out of the match. Cindy is pissed but she gets off.

Hung Lou - If it gets any bigger I might have to call it one of the seven wonders of the world.

Lindley is on the outside of the ring barking out orders to the ALL NUDE Ariana and Luscious. They are trying to take out the KKK but it isn't working. Kristi has Luscious over the ropes choking her. Kelli has Ariana down on the mat. Katie is jumping on here doing various cheerleader cheers. Ariana is screaming out in pain.

PMC - Looks like these stupid bitches really know how to fuck up each other with their damn bitch ass vicious fucking ways shit.

Sensual Cindy pulls Caren Dudley up. She slings her into the ropes. Sensual Cindy tries a vicious slap, Dudley ducks and bounces off the opposite ropes. She comes back and hits a cross-body on Sensual Cindy. Meygon down to make a quick count..1..2..3!!! FAST COUNT!!! FAST COUNT!!!

Eliminated #1 - Sensual Cindy

Typhoon Buffoon - I'M GONNA KICK SOMEBODY'S ASSES!!!

PMC - That was a damn bitch ass shit fuck fast count!!! What a fucking damn ass bitch shit rip-off.

Sensual Cindy pops up and gets in Meygon's face. She shoves Meygon!!! Meygon shoves her back!!! Cindy takes a swing at Meygon... NO!!! Caren Dudley grabs Cindy by the hand.. She slings her around to face her... DUDLEY FLIPS CINDY OFF... KICK TO THE STOMACH... BIG BREAST STUNNER!!! Cindy is out!!! The crowd erupts!!! Caren pulls Cindy up and tosses her over the top rope.

Hung Lou - One word... GIGANTIC

Caren Dudley goes back over to her sister Monica. She pulls her up... WAIT!!! MACE TO THE EYES!!! MONICA JUST SPRAYED CAREN IN THE EYES WITH MACE!!! Caren is screaming out in pain holding her eyes. Caren drops to her knees. Monica's face has scratch marks all over it. Monica throws the mace out of the ring so no one sees it. Monica pulls Caren up. She LOCKS ON A SLEEPER HOLD!!! Monica is trying to take Caren out by putting her to sleep!!! Meygon knows she has to check Caren to see if she is out... She raises her arm.. It drops once... she raises it again... IT DROPS TWICE... A THIRD TIME... OH MY GOD!!! CAREN DUDLEY IS STILL IN THIS!!! She makes a fist and drives her elbow into Monica's stomach, Monica lets go. She doubles over holding her stomach... CAREN WITH A TWISTING NECKBREAKER... Monica is down.. WAIT!!! LINDLEY IS GETTING IN THE RING!!! She has the IWO Ladies belt!!! SHE BASHES CAREN DUDLEY IN THE HEAD WITH IT!!! Meygon is calling for the bell!!!

eliminated #2 by Disqualification - Lindley

PMC - SHE ISNT THE MOTHER FUCKING BITCH CHAMPION ANYMORE!!!

Tugboat Buffoon - I'm gonna kick BOTH YOUR ASSES!!!

Lindley still has the belt. Caren Dudley is out. Lindley looks right at Meygon. Meygon looks back. LINDLEY FLIPS HER OFF!!! Lindley drops the Ladies title belt down on the ground... WAIT!!! MEYGON PICKS IT UP!!! SHE TAPS LINDLEY ON THE SHOULDER!!! LINDLEY TURNS AROUND.. BAM!!!! LINDLEY IS DOWN!!! SHE SMACKED HER RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!! Meygon grabs her crotch and spits down on Lindley.

Meygon - Take that you damn lesbian!!!

Kristi is now working over Luscious in the corner. Kristi climbs up to the second turnbuckle and stats punching away on Luscious. Luscious is naked. Kristi gets down. She looks right at Luscious, grabs her breasts, jiggles them, and slaps her in the face!!! Luscious falls to the mat. Kristi rolls Luscious over and goes for the cover. Neil Lutsky makes the count...1....2...3!!!

Eliminated #3 - Luscious

PMC - Down to just 6 slut ass bitches whores.

Hung Lou - I can't get over this thing. I mean come on... I'm gifted, what can I say?

Tugboat Buffoon - IM GONNA KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES!!!

(The scene cuts to the back. We see that GP, JT, and Jack in the Box are tied up to a big ass pole. Nikki, Sonya, Crack Whore, Kate Young, and the two big dudes are standing to the side laughing at GP, JT, and Jack in the Box.)

GP - UNTIE US!!!

JT - YOU BITCHES!!!

Jack in the Box - TERD!!!

(Nikki pulls out a boombox and turns some porno music on. A door opens in front of the pole and out walks two 400 pound old women. They are all dressed up. THEY START STRIPPING IN FRONT OF GP, JT, AND JACK IN THE BOX!!!)

JT - OH GOD!!! OH GOD!!! IM GONNA GO BLIND.. OH GOD!!!

GP - NOOOO!!! IT IS LIKE IM 10 ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

JACK IN THE BOX - OH BABY!!! BRING IT ON!!!

(The two fat women walk right up to the tied up JT and GP and start giggling their 100 pound fat breasts in their faces.)

Jack in the Box - WHERES MY ACTION!?!

(GP and JT start throwing up.)

*back in the ring area*

Kelli, Kristi, and Katie are triple teaming Ariana. The bare asses Ariana is being pounded. Kelli puts Ariana in the corner... Katie rushes in... BRONCO BUSTER ON ARIANA!!! THE CROWD IS GOING CRAZY!!! Katie gets up... Kristi runs in... BRONCO BUSTER!!! Kristi stays down with her crotch buried in Ariana's face. She pulls her panties back and exposes her FEMALE ORGAN to Ariana!!!

Kristi - LICK IT BITCH!!!

(The crowd is going crazy.)

Kristi gets up. Ariana is out. They pull Ariana to the center of the ring. Kelli jumps on top of her. She jumps up and down on her!!! Ariana is out... She isn't moving. She needs some help. Neil Lutsky looks concerned. He is thinking about calling the bell. NO!!! Katie just tackled Neil!!! He is down!!! She starts punching away on him!!! Neil is calling for the bell!!!

Eliminated #4 by DQ - Katie

Kelli and Kristi pull Katie off of Neil. Katie is pissed. She gets in the center of the ring, stands over Ariana. Her skirt is over her face. She pulls her skirt up and REMOVES HER PANTIES.. WAIT!!! ARIANA!!! SHE JUST REACHED UP AND SHOVED HER FINGER INTO KATIE'S *****!!! Ariana has the Vaginal Claw on!!! Ariana is slowly getting up. Kristi and Kelli are just watching on... Ariana still has it locked IN. Katie's eyes are closed!!! Ariana takes her other hand and starts rubbing Katie's ****!!!

PMC - I CANT CUSS NOW!!! IM TOO DAMN HORNY!!!

Hung Lou - My 2 incher is all 2 inches for sure!!!

Kelli has seen enough. She gets out of the ring. She goes over and grabs a steel chair!!! She gets back in the ring... SHE SMACKS ARIANA with the chair!!! Ariana releases the "hold." Ariana falls to the mat... Katie opens her eyes and sees what happened. She looks pissed. She starts yelling at Kelli. She grabs the chair away from here... She is still yelling... Kelli yells back.

Kelli - I thought you said we weren't going to be fucking lesbians!!!

Katie - There you go bitch... You always ruin the fun...

Kelli - It isn't me...

Katie - FUCK OFF!!!

(Katie flips Kelli off... SMACK!!! RIGHT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!! Meygon looks up and sees what went on... She is calling for the bell.)

Eliminated #5 by DQ - Kelli

PMC - HOW THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING FAIR BITCH??? THAT SLUT WHORE BITCH KATIE BITCH WAS FUCKING ALREADY SHIT OUT.

Hung Lou - My two incher is about to release out about 1/2 millimeter!!!

Monica Dudley AND Caren Dudley are slowly getting up. Caren sees the scratches on Monica's face. THEY START BRAWLING AGAIN!!! Caren kicks Monica in the personal place!!! Monica drops to her knees... CAREN WITH A VICIOUS SIDE KICK RIGHT TO MONICA'S FACE!!! Monica is down... THE COVER!!! 1...2....3!!!

Eliminated #6 - Monica Dudley

Ariana, Caren Dudley, and Kristi remain...

Neil Lutsky has started sucking on Katie's toes. Katie is out cold. KRISTI IS BEHIND NEIL WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!! SMACK!!! NEIL IS OUT!!! Meygon saw her hit Neil!!! She is calling for the bell!!!

Eliminated #7 by DQ - Kristi

Tugboat Buffoon - IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!

PMC - I THINK THESE FUCKING DAMN FUCK ASS SHIT KKK HAS BEEN FUCKING CHEATED.

Ariana is slowly getting up. Caren Dudley sees she is the only one left. Caren Dudley pulls Ariana up... NO!!! WAIT!!! ARIANA.. SHE REACHES HER HAND UP.. AND...OH MY GOD!!! THE VAGINAL CLAW!!! Caren to the mat with her legs spread... Caren doesn't know if she should fight it or go with it... Ariana is going deeper and faster!!! Caren has a flush look on her face... The crowd is chanting "ORGASIM", "ORGASIM", "ORGASIM"... Caren screams out... WAIT!!! SHE JUST KICKED ARIANA RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!! SHE DOES IT AGAIN!!! Ariana breaks the hold!!! Caren fixes her panties!!! SHE IS GETTING UP!!! SO IS ARIANA!!! ANOTHER KICK!!! Caren grabs Ariana, she slings her into the corner... She goes charging in!!! BOOB TRAIN!!! Ariana falls face first to the mat... The crowd is going crazy... Caren is now cupping her breasts and listening for the crowds approval... SHE RUNS OFF THE ROPES... BIG LEG DROP!!! SHE ROLLS ARIANA OVER!!!!! 1......2.....3!!!!

WINNER AND NEW IWO FEMALE CHAMPION - CAREN DUDLEY!!!

PMC - WHAT A FUCK FEST BITCH ASS SHIT FEST MATCH!!!

(The scene cuts to the back. GP and JT are slowly walking to the entrance to the walkway to the ring. They look sick. Nikki is right behind them laughing...)

GP - you stupid bitch.

JT - I hate you...

(PMC, Hung Lou, and Tugboat Buffoon exit the ring area. GP, JT, and Nikki take their spots back at the announcers' table.)

JT - you're gonna pay bitch...
*************************
UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH
TRIPLE THREAT LADDER MATCH
High Flyer <c> vs. "Vampyre" John Mcrae vs. Havoc


GP: We're back folks! If you're just joining us then...

JT: If you're just joining us then your an f'n PUTZ!

GP: Well that's true because so far Fear the Darkness has been amazing and
it's about to get even more insane with our next match!

Nikki: That's right it's gonna be a Triple Threat Ladder Match to decide the
United States Champion! And all three of the man in this match will do
absolutely anything to win.

JT: So that means MORE BLOOD! YES!

GP: Do not change to another channel! We are in the midst of the best damn
Pay-Per-View in wrestling history and you don't wanna miss it!

Nikki: Greg, don't forget that all three of these guys are gonna be in the
BIGGEST MATCH IN IWO HISTORY. The HUGE Hardcore Royale later on tonight in
our main event.

GP: That's right Nikki, the wrestlers who are only fighting in the Hardcore
Royale have a distinct advantage over the others who will have already done
battle.

JT: Hey guys, can you shut up so we can get to the match? I want more BLOOD!

*SMACK*

Nikki: Don't tell me to shut up.

JT: Sor...

*SMACK*

GP: Yeah, don't tell me to shut up either!

JT: Oh, so now your ganging up on me huh? Parker if you ever hit me again
I'll take you into the ring and make you my bitch. And Nikki, I know your
used to gang bangs but it doesn't mean you can GANG up on me.

*SMACK*

GP: I think he deserved several smacks there Nikki, he really took your
heart.

*SMACK*
*SMACK*

Nikki: Why don't you both know your roles and shut your mouths so we can get
this next match underway. Jabronis.

JT: Ok Rocky.

*SMACK*

Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next match is very special. Why? I'm not
really sure why, but I think it's pretty cool because it's a ladder match and
a triple threat match combined and it also it for the United States
Championship!!!

JT: what?

Meygon: Introducing first, standing at 6'5" and weighing in at 289
pounds!!!! Here is................"VAMPYRE" JOHN MCRAE!!!

("Mouth" by Bush blasts over the sound system as John McRae comes out through
the curtains. He has Lindley Taber by his side. McRae gets in the ring
and....just stands there because his opponents haven't arrived yet.)

Meygon: Ummm, our next contestant is Havoc. He weighs around 200 pounds or
something like that and he doesn't have any height. Oh, here he comes!

("Block is Hot" by Lil' Wayne plays as Havoc makes his way out and the crowd
boos him intensely.)

JT: BOOOO!

GP: Why are you booing?

JT: Everyone else is doing it, I figured I'd join in!

Meygon: And lastly, standing at 6'0", 204 pounds, he is the INTERNET
WRESTLING ORGANIZATION'S UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!!!! Here is........HIGH
FLYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

("Biggest and the Best" by Clawfinger blasts over the speakers as High Flyer
comes running down to the ring.)

GP: Here we go! High Flyer just slid into the ring, but he's met with stiff
boots from McRae and Havoc.

Nikki: They wanna soften up the champion first Greg, I guess they'll worry
about the belt later.

JT: Screw that, I'd throw them both out of the ring and grab the belt real
quick.

GP: It's not that easy JT. Now Havoc and McRae send High Flyer to the
ropes, they go for a double clothesline, Flyer ducks, comes back with a
spinning heel kick on them both!!! McRae goes flying out of the ring and
Havoc hits the mat hard. High Flyer picks up Havoc and sends him to the
ropes, SPINNING HEAD SCISSORS SENDS HIM OUT OF THE RING!

Nikki: The crowd's going nuts!

JT: How did that little bastard toss them out of the ring. I can take him.

GP: Oh gimme a break JT, High Flyer is a very talented athelete. Flyer is
calling for both men to get in the ring. McRae hops on the apron, Havoc
pulls him down. McRae tries to get in the ring again, but Havoc yanks him
back again. BANG! McRae just decked Havoc with a roundhouse right! Havoc
springs up and tackles McRae, they're brawling on the floor. Both men to
their feet now, they're going blow for blow!

Nikki: What's High Flyer doing?

JT: Jesus!

GP: High Flyer runs up the turnbuckle and leaps off with a suicide plancha
onto Havoc and McRae! High Flyer grabs Vampyre and runs him into the steel
steps! Flyer turns around! OH!! HE WAS LEVELED BY HAVOC WITH A FOREARM
SHOT! HAVOC GRABS HIM, BRAINBUSTER!!! BRAINBUSTER ON THE CONCRETE!

JT: Yeah! Blood!

Nikki: More likely a broken neck, Havoc drilled him with that.

GP: Damn right he did, but Havoc isn't done. HANGMAN ONTO THE APRON! I
think he's loosening High Flyer's head to maybe tear it off later.

*CRACK!*

JT: HOLY SHIT! I THINK JOHN MCRAE WANTED TO TAKE HAVOC'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT
CHAIR SHOT!

Nikki: Havoc's down and out. Now Vampyre's using the chair on High Flyer's
knee.

JT: Now that's smart, he can't be a "high flyer" if he's got no legs to jump
with.

GP: Havoc's back up, he's got a chair of his own! He taps McRae on the
shoulder, McRae turns around and Havoc SMASHES MCRAE'S OWN CHAIR INTO HIS
FACE WITH HIS CHAIR! High Flyer is starting to hobble down the aisle towards
the ladder. He grabs it, folds it up and makes his way back to the ring.

Nikki: I sense something coming on!

JT: An Orgasm?

*SMACK*

GP: I think she meant that! Ouch, High Flyer just ran and nailed Havoc and
Vampyre with that ladder. He slides it in the ring now and sets it up. High
Flyer's on his way up already! He's half way there.

JT: Damn that little fucker's fast.

Nikki: Here comes McRae! Havoc's on the top ropes! McRae runs and Havoc
leaps!

GP: OH MY GOD! THAT WAS INSANE! VAMPYRE DROPKICKED THE LADDER OVER JUST AS
HAVOC CAME OFF WITH A MISSLE DROPKICK ONTO MCRAE! AND HIGH FLYER LANDED ON
THE TOP ROPES MANHOOD FIRST! IT'S CARNAGE IN THE RING!

JT: No blood yet? REFUND, REFUND! REFUND! COME ON CROWD! REFUND! REFUND!

(JT gets hit in the head with a soda.)

Nikki: HAHAH! That's what you get for saying stupid stuff.

JT: Shut up whore.

*SMACK*

JT: Ow that was right where I just got hit with the soda you dumb slut!

*SMACK*

JT: Ahhh! Same spot again! Quit it skank!

*SMACK*

GP: I think you should just forget it JT. Now High Flyer is pulling himself
to his feet after that vicious blow to his baby maker.

JT: Baby maker?

GP: DICK ALRIGHT! HE GOT NAILED IN THE BALLS! ARE YOU HAPPY! HUH! ARE
YOU HAPPY!

JT: Um, I kinda liked Baby maker.

Nikki: High Flyer picks up the ladder and slams it down onto McRae! Now
High Flyer is climbing up top!

GP: Wait! Here comes Havoc. He punches High Flyer several times and climbs
up the turnbuckle alongside him. No! Vampyre is still underneath the
ladder! HAVOC WITH A SUPERPLEX ONTO THE LADDER! JOHN MCRAE IS DEAD! HIGH
FLYER'S DEAD!

JT: That was an f'n awesome move.

GP: Havoc's not done yet. He's heading up top, WATCH OUT! MOONSAULT! HIGH
FLYER MOVES! MOTHER OF GOD! HIGH FLYER MOVED AND HAVOC CAME CRASHING DOWN
ONTO THE CHAIR AND JOHN MCRAE!

JT: These guys are sick......I F'N LOVE IT!

Nikki: They'll do anything to entertain.

JT: Screw entertainment, they just like hurting themselves! A trait I
always look for in a woman.

Nikki: Pig.

GP: Now High Flyer pulls Havoc to his feet. He hangs him upside down in the
corner! TREE OF WOE! High Flyer is stomping Havoc's ribs! Now he's
grabbing the ladder. BATTERING RAM INTO HAVOC'S FACE WITH THE LADDER!
HAVOC'S BUSTED WIDE OPEN!

JT: WOOOOOWHOOOOO! BLOOOOOOOD! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

GP: High Flyer backs up, HE RAMS HIM AGAIN! HAVOC IS DEAD! FLYER'S GOING
FOR ANOTHER ONE!

Nikki: No! Vampyre just kneed him in the back. Flyer drops the ladder and
McRae plants him with an inverted DDT! Havoc's still upside down in the
corner.

GP: McRae picks up High Flyer, they're on top of the ladder! OH NO!
POWERBOMB ONTO THE LADDER! THAT ONE HURT!

JT: Make him bleed McRae you Vampyre pussy!

(McRae casts a dark stare at JT, who looks away like he said nothing.)

JT: Lalalalalalala, lalalala, la la la.

Nikki: You wuss.

GP: I think McRae is listening to you JT. He just picked up High Flyer
again! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE LADDER! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE LADDER! WHAT THE...

JT: FUCK! I JUST SAW BLOOD SQUIRT ACROSS THE RING AND HIT A FAN IN THE
CROWD!

Nikki: That's sick, but very interesting.

GP: John McRae doesn't seem to care. Now he's going over to Havoc. HAVOC
JUST GRABBED MCRAE BY THE NECK WITH HIS LEGS AND FLUNG HIM OUT OF THE RING!
HAVOV WAS PLAYING POSSUM! Now Havoc hops to the top turnbuckle! He jumps
off! SPINNING HURRICANRANA SENDS VAMPYRE INTO THE CROWD! McRae gets up and
Havoc flies over the guardrail and nails him with a clothesline!

Nikki: A fight in the crowd, we haven't seen that before!

JT: Crowd fights are always good! LOOK! McRae just DDTed Havoc onto a
fan's chair and broke it!

GP: The fan is getting in Vampyre's face! Is he nuts? McRae turns his
back, HEART PIERCING STAKE! VAMPYRE JUST NAILED THE FAN WITH THE HEART
PIERCING STAKE!

Nikki: Poor guy, he's gonna be eating food through a tube for a while.

JT: No shit! Mcrae speared him out of his boots.

GP: Now Vampyre and Havoc are going shot for shot along the guardrail. HIGH
FLYER FROM INSIDE THE RING! SPRINGS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND INTO THE CROWD!!!!
HE TAKES THEM BOTH DOWN WITH A FLYING CROSS BODY PRESS!

Nikki: Awesome! He went at least 15 feet!

JT: High Flyer's an animal! He pounding on both of them! McRae just kicked
him off so hard he went back over the railing!

GP: Great leg strength. Now Mcrae's after High Flyer. McRae's climbing
over the railing. NO! HAVOC CAME FROM BEHIND WITH A 2x4! HE SMACKED IT
ACROSS VAMPYRE'S BACK! High Flyer grabs him from the other side and suplexes
him over the guard rail! Havoc hops over the guardrail and CATCHES HIGH
FLYER WITH A TORNADO DDT! Havoc rols in the ring and sets the ladder up!
He's heading for the belt! High Flyer just pulled another ladder out from
under neath the ring!

JT: MULTIPLE LADDERS EQUALS MORE BLOOD!

Nikki: It also means more insane moves. High Flyer just used the ladder as
a pole vault and headbutted Havoc off the top of the ladder as he was about
to grab the belt!

GP: That's High Flyer's belt and he's got to protect it from two different
people at the same time. Now Flyer's setting his ladder up. He's heading up
top! One rung, two rung, three rung!

Nikki: John McRae's got a third ladder! He slides it into the ring!

GP: 4th rung! 5th rung!

JT: VAMPYRE JUST THREW THE LADDER AT HIGH FLYER, KNOCKING HIM OFF! High
Flyer hits the top turnbuckle. He's stunned! MCRAE BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES!
HEART PIERCING STAKE!

GP: He knocked High Flyer out of his boots! LITERALLY!

Nikki: One of High Flyer's boots got sent into the crowd! His other one is
hanging on by a shoe lace!

GP: McRae grabs the boot off of High Fkyer's foot. Here comes Havoc! McRae
turns and nails him with High Flyer's boot!

Nikki: That's a new way to kick someone in the face!

JT: I think he just broke Havoc's nose! I heard a snap!

GP: Now McRae turns around and High Flyer's waiting for him! He nails him
with a dropkick, BUT DOES A BACKFLIP AND LANDS ON HIS FEET! VAMPYRE STUMBLES
TO HIS FEET AND HIGH FLYER LOCKS HIM INTO A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! HE
CONNECTS, BUT HOLDS ON! ANOTHER ONE! HIGH FLYER STILL HOLDS ON, HE'S GOING
FOR A THIRD, HE CONNECTS ONTO A LADDER AND BRIDGES!

Nikki: Here comes Havoc off the top ropes with a senton bomb onto High
Flyer! Nice ass move!

JT: McRae rolls out of the ring. Havoc picks up High Flyer.

GP: HE'S GOING FOR THE DEATH WARRANT! NO! High Flyer reverses it into a
Morning Star suplex! John McRae's back in, he's got two chairs! He sets the
both up! McRae clothesline Flyer from behind and picks him up. VAMPYRE WITH
A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX THROUGH BOTH OF THE CHAIRS! NOW MCRAE IS GOING BACK
TO HIGH FLYER'S KNEES LIKE EARLIER IN THE MATCH!

Nikki: Havoc's heading up top again!

JT: That sneaky little bastard!

GP: HAVOC LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE, BUT VAMPYRE CATCHES HIM WITH A POWERSLAM
ONTO A LADDER! DAMN!

Nikki: Now Flyer and Havoc are laid out and McRae's climbing for the belt!
McRae is half way there. High Flyer is getting up! McRae's within inches of
the belt!

GP: FLYER LEAPS UP AND CRACKS mCRAE WITH A CHAIR! VAMPYRE LEANS OFF AND IS
HANGING ON WITH ONE HAND! HIGH FLYER JUMPS TO THE THIRD RUNG AND SLAMS MCRAE
DOWN WITH A CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB ONTO THE OTHER CHAIR! VAMPYRE IS DEAD!!

JT: I know his head is busted to all hell after that. Look at the blood on
the chair! YES!

Nikki: That was a vicious move!

JT: You're telling me you herpes having, cocksucking, skank slut whore!

(Nikki gets up and leaves, JT shrugs.)

GP: Now High Flyer is heading up the ladder! Havoc's set up another one and
he's heading up! High Flyer is kicking at Havoc. Havoc kicks back. Vampyre
is setting up the third ladder! Mcrae is up, he grabs Havoc and Flyer and
bashes their heads together! McRae is reaching for the belt. Havoc and
Flyer jump over to Mcrae's ladder! ALL THREE MEN ON ONE LADDER! THE OTHER
TWO LADDERS FALL! ALL THREE MEN HITTING EACH OTHER. THE LADDER IS STARTING
TO TIP! DAMN!!! ALL THREE MEN COME CRASHING DOWN ONTO THE OTHER LADDERS!
VAMPYRE WAS UNDERNEATH THE THIRD! HE'S DEAD!

JT: THEY'RE ALL F'N DEAD!

(Just then Nikki comes back with a 3 by 4 foot cork board and smashes it over
JT's head! JT is out cold.)

GP: Damn Nikki, what was that for?

Nikki: He called me a herpes having, cocksucking, skank slut whore.

GP: Oh ok.

Nikki: Now what did I miss? Everyone looks dead!

GP: I think they are! No wait, High Flyer's moving! He's on his feet! The
crowd is going nuts! High Flyer picks up a ladder and starts climbing.
Havoc is going up the other side!

Nikki: I can see something bad happening now!

GP: Both men trading lefts and right at the top of the ladder. It looks
like it's down to them two, Vampyre is still out. High Flyer is rocking
Havoc back. HOLY CHRIST! FLYER JUST CRACKED HAVOC ON THE JAW WITH A SPIN
KICK AND STILL STAYED ON THE LADDER!

Nikki: The ladder isn't underneath the belt or he'd have the belt right now!

GP: He damn well would! Now What the hell is he doing! Is he gonna jump
for the belt? NO! HIGH FLYER LEAPS OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND COMES DOWN
ON JOHN MCRAE WITH THE FLYING MOONSHOT! FLYING MOONSHOT ONTO MCRAE AND TWO
LADDERS!

Nikki: High Flyer jumps and raises his hand in the air. The crowd's going
nuts but this match isn't over yet! Havoc is up! He spins High Flyer around!

GP: DEATH WARRANT ONTO THE LADDER! High Flyer got his face drilled into
that ladder!

Nikki: Now Havoc's going up top! Hey, don't things seem nicer now that I
took out JT?

GP: I guess. John McRae is finally starting to stir. That Flying Moonshot
might have woken him up because he was out like Rip Van Winkle!

Nikki: Now that was a corny line!

GP: So what! McRae is setting a ladder up! He's starting to go up. Havoc
sees him. HAVOC DIVES OFF HIS LADDER AND CATCHES MCRAE WITH A FRONT-FACED
DDT ONTO A CHAIR!!!

Nikki: High Flyer's up now! He stomps Havoc a few times and grabs his legs.
He's putting on a sharpshooter!

GP: No wait! Flyer drops back and locks onto Havoc's head! FLYER SPECIAL!
FLYER SPECIAL! HAVOC'S IN SERIOUS PAIN NOW!

Nikki: John Mcrae is heading up top! That's 6'5" nearly 300 pounds of man
up there! He's coming off with a flying elbow drop!

GP: HIGH FLYER RELEASES THE HOLD AND ROLLS AWAY! VAMPYRE DRILLED HAVOC IN
THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT ELBOW SMASH!

Nikki: Now High Flyer's waiting for McRae!

GP: Vampyre turns around and he gets smacked with a flying leg lariat!
Vampyre stumbles into the turn buckle! WHAT THE HELL, LINDLEY TABER JUST
HANDED MCRAE THE RING BELL!! HIGH FLYER RUNS TOWARDS VAMPYRE! NOOO!

Nikki: Vampyre just smashed High Flyer with the bell! Flyer's out like a
light!

GP: You talk about my corny lines?

Nikki: Hey, I got another bulletin board with your name on it.

GP: Sorry! McRae sets up a ladder now! He's heading up, there's nobody
there to stop him! McRae's almost there! Just one more step to go! We
could have a new United States champion!

Nikki: Look! Havoc's grabbed onto the lower rung of the ladder, he's
shaking it! McRae can't grasp the belt! Mcrae falls backwards off the
ladder! HIGH FLYER CATCHES HIM WITH A NECKBREAKER ON THE WAY DOWN!

GP: Where the hell did High Flyer come from? He was just laid out with the
belt!

Nikki: Now Havoc's got the belt!

GP: He swings it at High Flyer! FLYER DUCKS AND BOOTS HAVOC IN THE STOMACH!
HAVOC DROPS THE BELT! FACEBUSTER ON THE RING BELL!! HIGH FLYER NAILED HIM!

Nikki: High Flyer just set up a ladder! He's going up top. He's right
underneath the belt! Mcrae is going up the other side!

GP: Vampyre is punching Flyer! They're going back and forth. WHAT THE?
LINDLEY TABER JUST SLID INTO THE RING. SHE GRABS THE RING BELL AND TOSSES IT
TO MCRAE! HIGH FLYER SEES IT COMING AND INTERCEPTS IT! HE NAILS MCRAE WITH
IT!

Nikki: High Flyer is gonna grab the belt!

GP: NOOO! HAVOC GOT UP AND KNOCKED THE LADER OVER! High Flyer went neck
first onto the top ropes! Havoc's now going up a ladder! Vampyre's going up
the other side! Dejavu!

Nikki: It's not dejavu, it's not the same people going up.

GP: Shut up.

*SMACK*

GP: Sorry. Vampyre shoves Havoc off the ladder! Havoc and High Flyer look
at each other! The each grab one side of the ladder and carry it to the
ropes! OH MY GOD! THEY SEND VAMPYRE JOHN MCRAE OUT OF THE RING AND RIGHT
THROUGH THE SIGN LANGUAGE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!!!!

Nikki: No! Not the sign language announcer's table!

GP: Yes, all deaf people must use closed captioning now!

Nikki: Look at Lindley Taber trying to help Vampyre.

GP: No, look in the ring! HAVOC JUST BLINDSIDED HIGH FLYER WITH A BULLDOG
FROM BEHIND RIGHT ONTO ONE OF THE LADDERS! NOW HAVOC'S GOING UP TOP!

Nikki: Nobody's wasting any time going for that belt Greg.

GP: All three men are badly beaten and just want this thing to end. Havoc's
nearly there. High Flyer's up! HE SPRINTS UP THE LADDER WITH A CHAIR AND
BLASTS HAVOV WITH IT! NOW HIGH FLYER SETS HIMSELF! OH MY.....GOODNESS!

Nikki: Goodness?

GP: 540 SPLASH! 540 SPLASH OFF THE LADDER ONTO HAVOC!

Nikki: I think I'm dizzy after all those spins.

GP: That was simply amazing Nikki. Now High Flyer is heading to the top
ropes. The ladder is still set up in the ring. John McRae is back up! He
enters the ring! McRae catches High Flyer off the top ropes with a Gorilla
Press and throws him into the ladder!

Nikki: Nice power move. Move over Lindley, Nikki's takin' over.

GP: Nikki pay attention to the match. Look, JT's waking up!

JT: <coming up from behind the table> Mommy? Where's fluffy?

Nikki: You're lucky I don't know you out again you ignorant prick.

JT: Mommy? Is it breast feeding time yet?

*SMACK*

Nikki: Snap out of it JT.

JT: Huh? Wha... BLOOD! LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD! YES!!!

GP: He's back. McRae is setting up a ladder. High Flyer and Havoc are up.
MCRAE BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES! DOUBLE HEART PIERCING STAKE!!!!

JT: Damn, he would have knocked High Flyer out of his boots if they weren't
already off! HAHA!

Nikki: That's right, Flyer's been fighting almost this whole match in bare
feet!

JT: Good thing it's not a thumbtack match.

GP: McRae is going up the ladder again. Havoc and High Flyer are up again!
Vampyre sees them. HE'S GOING FOR ANOTHER HEART PIERCING STAKE! THEY CATCH
HIM! DOUBLE DDT!!! MCRAE IS DONE!

JT: Look! MORE BLOOD! Drink that you Vampyre bastard!

GP: You're lucky he just got his head planted into the mat or he might have
heard that.

JT: So what, I can kick his ass!

Nikki: Yeah right, you can't even get a piece of ass.

JT: I had your ass last night.

*SMACK*

GP: Now High Flyer whips Havoc to the ropes! THEY DROPKICK EACH OTHER!

Nikki: They don't have much energy left. Flyer and Havoc are both setting
up ladder's now! They're climbing slowly to the top.

JT: Come on! Speed it up you slackers!

GP: John McRae is up! He's got the third ladder! He's heading up top too!
Now all three men nearly at the belt! They're all pounding on each other at
the tops of their ladders! Havoc on the left, Flyer in the middle and McRae
on the right! McRae is getting double teamed by Flyer and Havoc!

Nikki: Mcrae's tipping over!

JT: HOLY SHIT! MCRAE'S GONE! HIS LADDER FEEL AND HE WENT FLYING THROUGH
THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!

GP: THE LADDER BOUNCES BACK AND HITS FLYER AND HAVOC! BOTH OF THEM START TO
FALL! THE LADDERS TOPPLE OVER AND HIT THE ROPES! HAVOC CAN'T HOLD ON, HE
GOES THROUGH THE EBONICS ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!

Nikki: High Flyer holds onto the ladder, it springs back off the ropes!

GP: FLYER REACHES UP AND GRABS THE BELT!!! HE SNATCHED THE BELT AS HE WENT
BY! HE'S COMING THIS WAY!

JT: SHIIIIT!!!!!!!!!

Nikki: AHHHHHH!

*CRASH*

(High Flyer grabbed the belt but the ladder kept going and sent him over the
top ropes right through the American announcer's table!)

GP: Folks, I think we're still live here! The connection wasn't broken!
HIGH FLYER IS THE WINNER AND STILL THE US CHAMPION!

JT: OW MY HEAD!

Nikki: Mine too.

JT: So you admit you have more than one head? YOU'RE A MAN!

*SMACK*

JT: Don't smack me bitch!

*SLAP*

Nikki: Screw you!

*SMACK*

JT: OK!

*SMACK*

GP: OK settle down children! We don't even have an announcer's table
anymore.

JT: Let's steal someone elses!

GP: They're all broken. Hopefully the ring crew can salvage another one
from somewhere so we can continue!


***************************************************************
Extreme Title Match -Haunted House of Hell Match- Match takes place in a
Haunted House with various IWO superstars dressed up as scary things. The
only way to win is to escape the Haunted House ALIVE!!!

Chrome Thunder -c- v. Jax Stone

GP - Now this would normally be the place where I would welcome you back to
our program, however, we have no commercials tonight cuz it's a PPV!!!
MUWHAHAHA!!!

*smack*

Nikki - Calm the hell down GP. You are starting to sound like JT!!!

GP - (pauses for a second) OH DEAR GOD NOOOOO!!!!!

JT - It's not that bad really, you'll enjoy it in my world!

GP - (looks at JT for a second pondering what he said) NOOOO!!!!

Nikki - hehehe

JT - Ohhh.

GP - Please never scare me like that again! Anyway, we are here in Salem in
front of this sold out crowd! This is great! Almost as great as our next
match. Unfortunately, this match does not take place here.

(crowd boos)

GP - Don't worry, it takes place in an extremely dangerous haunted house!

Nikki -Right you are! This is the Haunted House of Hell Match for the
extreme title! The only way to win is to escape. The trick is that neither
man may escape. alive!!!!

JT - How the hell do you two know all this tuff? All I am told is who is
wrestling!

Nikki - That is because you are an insignificant male prick!

JT - (whispering) We already discussed not talking about the size of my
cock!

GP - Thank God this is a PPV, or that would have been all over TV!

JT - Wait a second. my mic is on? SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING ASS WHORE!!!

GP - Yet another reason why pay-per-views are good! Anyway, our competitors
tonight are, as you all know---

JT - STOP!!! This is the only thing I know, so I'm saying it! Chrome
Thunder, our Extreme Title Champion will be in the battle of his life for
his title against a man who has proved himself over and over again. This
man is Jax Stone! What an epic battle this shall be!

GP & Nikki - Whoa.

JT - And that is why the fans love me!

Nikki - However much I hate to say this, JT is right! (JT starts laughing)
This will also be a messy match, no doubt!

JT - WHOO-HOO!!! All they need is blood and sex all will ok!!!

*smack*

Nikki -Not this early, you little bitch!

GP - Whoa, Nikki using harsh words there! Let's get to Meygon who is in the
ring ready to introduce our fighters!

Nikki - I find it morally degrading to women everywhere that Meygon is still
announcing this match, though the two men are not even in the ring! They
are miles away in a haunted house for goodness sakes! Why must she prance
around on stage for all these men?

GP - Nikki, shut up for once in your existence. Remember, Titan is in
charge now, so all your bitching goes unheard!

(Nikki is in shock. She can neither speak, or for that matter slap!)

JT - Damn dude you sure told her! Anyway, Meygon bends over and. yes!!!
Her dress rips! Thank you Titan for providing all the female attire
tonight!!! It rips enough to see that.

GP - Oh dear God, yes.

JT - MEYGON IS NOT WEARING ANY PANTIES!!! WHOO-FUCKIN'-HOO!!!!! BEND OVER
AGAIN!!!

*smack*

Nikki - I do not stay in shock long!

GP - Obviously! Anyway, I'm being told that we have to let Meygon start
doing the introductions now!

(the camera cuts, thankfully, to the ring, where we can all see the lack of
panties on Meygon! The men and many women in the audience are cheering.
IWO has picked up many lesbian fans, since Lindley came out of the closet!
Meygon, seeing he shredded clothes shrugs and jus rips the skirt off!
WHOO-HOO!!! A HALF-NAKED WOMAN IN WRESTLING! Wait a sec, that happens all
the time! OH WELL!! We're seeing it happen again! Anyway, JT has passed
out from shock, and Nikki is just shaking her head in disgust. However, she
does keep looking up at Meygon)

Meygon - Introducing first, our champion! He is. well. pretty tall, I
guess, and I guess he doesn't weight that much. Anyway, he is the two-time
Extreme Title Champion! He is CHROME TTTHHHUUUNNNDDEEERRR!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers wildly! So loud that you can not hear his music blasting
across the PA system in the Salem Civic Center! The roar grows louder when
Chrome's picture is shown on the TIT-Tron! He is pacing back and forth
cracking his knuckles, anxious to start the match off)

Meygon - Now coming to the ring. Wait a second. He's not coming to the
ring, why did I say that? Uh-hah! Oh well! I guess it's the blonde hair!
Anyway, waiting in the Haunted House is our competitor! I actually remember
his stats! He's my second hero, other than Titan! He stands at 6'6", and
weighs in at 256 pounds! He is the master of the Elimination! Isn't that a
basketball game? Oh well, it's what they tell me! He is JAX
STTTTOOONNNEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers loudly again, btu this time, you can hear the music!
"Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie blasts across the speakers, getting the
crowd pumped up for this match, and we see Jax Stone, going crazy in his
section of the Haunted House, waiting for the bell to ring. This house is a
mansion, so it makes it harder for them to find each other)

Meygon - AND HERE WE GO!

(the crowd participation grows even louder as Meygon bends down and gets out
of the ring!!! They don't even watch the TIT-Tron until she sits down by
the bell ringer)

JT - (on his knees) Thank you God for this lovely sight!

*ring ring*

GP - This match is officially under way! Jax is informed of this by the
ref, and he goes crazy rushing out of the room he is in! He rams into the
ref on his way out, knocking the man out! Chrome does basically the same
thing, except he takes a much calmer approach to it. He's being smart,
conserving his energy for when they actually meet. Jax is going psycho,
looking for his opponent!

Nikki - Right you are! He begins kicking in every door looking for his
opponent! OHMIGOD!!! That door was booby-trapped! A huge guillotine blade
just dropped down, almost slicing of Jax's leg!!! He better be careful, and
remember not to stick his neck in first!

JT - DAMMIT!!! That would have definitely had blood! DAMMIT!!!

Nikki - You really are a sick, sick man. Anyway, Chrome is also looking in
the rooms for Jax. He better be careful or he might get something chopped
off!

JT - Hehehe!!!

Nikki - What? What was funny?

JT - Nuthin! Just keep talkin!

Nikki - Chrome keeps knocking on the doors and putting his head to them
listening for noises inside. He goes up to this odd metallic door at the
end, knocks on it, and AHHH!!!! The door just shot spikes out of it like
four inches!!! Chrome's hand got speared by one of those deadly blades!!!
He is bleeding heavily!!!

JT - I knew I would love this match! BLOOODDDD!!!!! And it's only like
five minutes into the match!!! WHOO-HOO!!!

*smack*

JT - AHHH!!! Why the hell did you do that?

GP - I don't know, something just came over me!

JT - DAMMIT! Now I have to worry about two bitches slapping me!

Nikki - I'm a bitch then?

JT - No---

*smack smack*

JT - Ohhh.

GP - There has already been a near amputation, and bloodshed and the men
have yet to find each other yet! If this is any indication of what will
happen during the match, then we are in for a treat!

JT - Trick or treat, lick my tweets or give me some pussy to eat!!
Hehehe!!!

*smack*

Nikki - Good God, why did you have to born?

JT - So I could sit here and entertain the fans! Just like you were born to
show off your beautiful body!

Nikki - HEY!!! Well. yes, but that's still no excuse!

GP - Hahaha. Anyway, Jax is still running around this mansion like crazy
looking for the man he is facing! He is being smart now; he kicks at the
door only long enough to open it. In one room, he sees. dear God.

JT - HAHAHA!!! He sees Lindley and Ariana dressed up as dominatrices!!!
They are starting to do the dirty bird in a dirty way, if ya know what I
mean! Jax lingers for a few seconds, until Ariana yells at him and goes
over and slams the door shut! He now has a big smile on his face, and the
whole crowd is on their feet cheering their asses off! That's what they
wanted to see!!! We all knew silly slut Lindley wouldn't shut the door!

GP - You got that right!

GP & JT - (slap hands together a la SNL) SCORE!!!

Nikki - One for you, (slap to GP) and one for you! (slap to JT)

GP - Damn, that hurt! Anyway, Chrome is also still hunting for his
opponent. He wanders around to the kitchen and sees Harlequin, juggling
knives in a bulky clown costume! What a friggin idiot!!!

JT - (chanting) Drop em, drop em, drop em!!!

Nikki - Uh yeah. Anyway, Chrome is also chanting "drop em" and is
transfixed by the sight. THERE HE IS!!! Jax just passed by the kitchen and
glanced in. He stops short and looks again! He sees Chrome, and rams him
into Harlequin who drops the knives---

JT - YAY!!!!!

Nikki - ---right into the arms of Jax! OH MY GOD!!! THAT HAS TO HURT!!!

GP - Of course it hurts, it's a fuckin extreme match! Chrome stands up and
shakes himself off. He turns and looks at Jax who is trying to pull the
knives out of his body!!! He pulls one out and lets out a horrendous
screama s blood shoots out from the hole!

JT - HEHEHE!!! Only two more to go!!

Nikki - The poor man keeps yanking those things out of his body while Chrome
Thunder. what is he doing?

JT - It looks like he's cookin something! He must be hungry!!! He is
cooking something in that frying pan anyway! NOOO!!! He isn't cooking
anything!!! HAHAHA!!! He takes that superheated frying pan and slams it
onto Jax's wounds and lets it stay that way!!!

GP - Oh my God! He is cauterizing Jax's wounds without any drugs to knock
him out! It'll be a wonder if Jax can continue this match with all those
burns!!!

JT - Hehehe!! You got that right! Chrome throws away the frying pan which
hits Harlequin on the head knocking his clowny ass out!!! Chrome ties to
pick Jax up, but that wound on his hand won't let him!!! Ohhh, how sad! He
just picks up the man with his other hand and goes for a Russian leg sweep!

Nikki - Oooh! Jax counters! Chrome goes down hard onto the floor!

GP - Jax is going for the cover!!! What the hell? Why is he doing that?
You don't pin your opponent, you just leave the house!!! What a friggin
asshole!!!

JT - Yeah, really! Makes sense! He is part of those stupid bastards in the
AAA!

GP - Yeah, I know. He needs a life!

(A fan in a AAA shirt with Eric written on it jumps the post goes over, and
kicks both GP and JT in the nuts! HAHAHA!!! Both men go down to the
ground in pain! Eric takes a couple of bows before getting dragged to the
back to be beaten down by the security guards)

Nikki - HAHAHA!!!! What stupid bastards!!!

GP & JT - (moan loudly)

Nikki - I guess it is up to me to call this match! Jax is up, but he is
heavily favoring his left arm, where those three knives landed. However,
there seems to be nothing wrong with his legs! He keeps kicking Chrome
harder and harder in the chest, seemingly breaking every bone in his cage!!!
He grabs Chrome's arm with his good arm and drags him over to the
refrigerator! He looks in side for something to eat, and gets a drink of
some fresh squeezed OJ. He looks harder and finds some Fruit by the Foot!!
Fruity candy for fruity men!!! Jax takes a huge bite, turns to the camera
and smiles!!! What a shameless plug for the company! After he is finished
eating, he grabs the fridge and turns it over onto Chrome who was just
beginning to get up!!! That coulda killed him, but luckily most of the food
fell out first!! Finally!!! (JT &GP are trying to get back on the
announcing booth chairs) I hate doing this by myself! Hurry up!

JT - .stupid.bitch.

*smack*

GP - (finally getting back in position) Ooh, and Nikki knocks him down to
the ground!!!

Nikki - Dem's da breaks!!!

GP - Right you are! Any way, Jax has gone wandering again, looking for the
door. Chrome is still buried underneath all that rubble of the fridge!!!

Nikki - Jax seems to be getting lost, he can' find his way to the door,
however Chrome is starting to OHMYGOD!!!

GP - OHMYGOD is right!!! Jax almost got killed!!! He must have stepped in
a wrong place or something because five spears just shot out of the wall!!!

JT - WHOO-HOO!!! ONE SPEAR JUST CUT ACROSS THE CHEST OF JAX, KNOCING HIM TO
THE GROUND AND LEAVING A VERY BLOODY GASH ACROSS HIS CHEST!!! OH HAPPY
DAY!!!

Nikki - Jax is trying to get up, but is having a hard time seeing as how his
arm is burnt all to hell and his chest is spilling blood like crazy! In the
meantime, Chrome has gotten up, and is running, somehow, to the place where
he heard Jax scream from!

JT - Yes!!! He found him! He begins to kick at that slice on Stone's
chest!! More and blood spills out!!! Bone crack and snap with every kick!!
Stone is just laying there taking the---OOHHH YESSS!!! CHROME MUST HAVE
TRIPPED ANOTHER SWITCH BECAUSE A BIG MACE JUST SWUNG THROUGH KNOCKING HIM
BACK ABOUT 10 FEET, AND PUTTING MAJOR MARKS ON HIS FACE!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!
EVERY MATCH SHOULD BE LIKE THIS!!!

GP - This is sick! That's what it is! I thought it was supposed to be
haunted, not booby-trapped!

Nikki - Yeah, really! I mean if it is a haunted house, we should see some
ghosts or something!!!

GP - That would make sense, but wait a second! It's the IWO, nothin is
supposed to make sense!!!

JT - I love this company!!!

Nikki - Both men are struggling to get to their feet! Exactly how many
actual wrestling moves have we seen here tonight? One, I think. Where is
the wrestling? The booby-traps are hurting them more than the fight!!!

JT - Who cares? They're getting their asses kicked around like little rag
dolls!!! I don't care who is doin it!

GP - Chrome is the first to his feet!!! He begins kicking Jax to the
ground, and he is now dragging the man to the top of the stairs on the
second floor!!! What's he gonna do?!?

JT - I think he's gonna hurt him Parker.

GP - I know that! He sets him for a powerbomb! He lifts him up and OOOH!!!
He just powerbombed Stone down the stairs!!! Jax just rolls down the stair
from where he hit! Jax Stone could very well be dead now!!! Jax is not
moving, as Chrome starts down the stairs to get to his opponent!!! WHAT'S
THIS?!?

Nikki - Someone just pulled the rug from under Chrome's feet and he goes
down to join his victim!

GP - But who did it? I don't see anyone!

JT - (making scary noises to taunt the two) Oooh. Scary ghost is gonna get
ya! What idiots!!!

*smack smack*

Nikki - Shut the hell up, you little bitch!!!

JT - Ohhh.

Nikki - Anyway, Jax is not dead as my overexcited colleague said. He's
actually beginning to move!!! How that is possible after that move, the
world may never know, but he is one tough SOB!!! That's all I know!!
They're finally on the first floor and Jax sees the door! He begins to
stumble towards it, but slowly!! Too slowly because Chrome catches up to
him, and knocks him down again! Both men go down with the force of the
blow! In the background, you hear cheering and hollering as you see Zombie
and Vampyre watching the replay of the World Series!!! Zombie is dressed up
like Boston Red Sock, and Vampyre is dressed up like a Back Street Boy.
AHHH!!! Two scary things, and we all know how much Zombie loves the Red
Sox!!!

GP - Haha! That's an understatement! Anyway, Jax and Chrome are both
struggling to get to the doorknob! This match could go either way! Jax
finally gets to his feet and grabs the doorknob, but no!!! WHAT THE HELL
JUST HAPPENED?!? JAX AND CHROME HAVE DISAPPEARED DOWN WHAT SEEMS TO BE A
TRAP DOOR!!! OUR FAIFTHFUL CAMERAMAN HAS JUMPED DOWN THE HOLE AFTER THEM!!!
Oh wow!!! It went right to the basement!!! They now have to fight their
way up the stairs to get out of the house!!! Luckily for them the landed on
some old matresses! Chrome is screaming, however, because he landed on some
rusty spring! That has to hurt!!!

JT - That spring is cutting right through his fuckin' flesh! How gruesome!
I LOVE this match! Every card should have one as bloody and deadly! If
someone doesn't break something and bleed, it's not a match!!!

Nikki - JT, for once in your life, could you show some compassion?

JT - Not until you show compassion to my cock!

*smack elbow to groin smack*

Nikki - How's that for some fuckin' compassion?!?

JT - Oooohhhhh...

GP - Yes well before I'm next, we should really get back to the match! Jax
has gotten up and is kicking Chrome over and over in the gut! EWW!! He
just pulled him off that spring and blood shoots out from the hole!

JT - YESSSS!!!!

GP - OOOOH! Jax with a major facebuster onto the concrete of that basement!
He is just beat the living hell out of Chrome!!!

JT - You know you can say living shit, right? I mean it is a pay-per-view!

GP - Yeah. but I just don't feel. comfortable.

JT - I do! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck shitty son of a cocksucking whore!

*smack*

JT - HEY!!! Not you! Some other cocksucking whore!!!

Nikki - Oh. ok!

GP - GP - Anyway, Chrome is trying t battle back now! Jax had him in a
major sleeper hold, but Chrome is slamming elbow after elbow into the solar
plexis of Jax! He finally lets go and Chrome jumps up with a super knee
into the face of Jax! Jax goes down hard, and Chrome is right back on top
of him! He slams his head again and again into the floor! Jax's skull is
cracked open people! Blood is pouring out, but Chrome keeps banging it
harder and harder into that floor! Somebody stop this!

JT - If someone stops this, I'll kill them! The Blood is going everywhere!
Harder Chrome, harder!!!

Nikki - Thank God! He finally finished! He gets up off the beaten man and
walks up the basement stairs. He has this match won, definitely! He
reaches the top and grabs the handle. OHMIGOD!!! He gets shot back fifty
feet and smashes into the wall of the basement!!! The door is
electrified!!! They are trapped in this basement!!! Geez, his body is
smoking! He is seriously hurt people! He may never wrestle again!!!

JT - Oh yah, right! When has that ever happened? Anyway, Jax is starting
to twitch now! It's kind of funny actually!

GP - There's nothing funny about it! Jax is getting up and stumbling back
and forth as he too struggles to get up the stairs. NO GOD NO!!! He
reaches for the handle! WAIT! He looks back at Chrome whose body is still
smoking from that shock. He quickly puts two and two together and pulls his
hand away from it!

JT - DAMMIT!!!

Nikki - You really need help man.

GP - Jax is looking around the room, looking for a way out. Wait, I think
he sees something! There is no other door in here that I can see. What can
he be looking at?

Nikki - I have no answer to that Greg. He gets off the stares and runs to
the wall near where he came through. He looks up and sees.. no he can't be
thinking that. could he?

JT - I don't know, but the blood is still pouring down his face. If he's
gonna do something, he better do it now before he passes out!

GP - That IS what he is thinking! He sees a window folks! A window like a
foot above his head! He's gonna have a hell of a time getting up there with
his arm the way it is! He jumps and knocks it open! He reaches up and
begins to climb up the wall while holding on to the window with one hand!
He's gonna win this one folks!

Nikki - Wait a second! Chrome is getting up! He's moving a bit and moaning
as he shakes his head! Jax takes his eyes off the window for a second and
someone from outside slams the window on his fingers! NOOO!!! Jax falls to
the ground again and Chrome is getting up and moving towards the window! He
tries to pulls himself up onto the window as well, but it slams shut again!
I think Jax has an idea! YES! He picks Chrome up and slams his arm into
the window where it promptly slams shut again! He begins to pull himself up
on the window again and gets up on the ledge to it! He picks up the rest of
Chrome and slams him into the window, shattering it! He tosses the limp
body of Chrome Thunder onto the floor of the basement and climbs out of the
broken window! YES!!!

GP - JAX HAS WON!!! HE IS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, AND WE HAVE A NEW EXTREME
CHAMPION!!! JAX HAS WON!!! JAX HAS WON!!!

WINNER - Jax Stone

JT - HAHAHA!!! Look at that, blood s still pouring down his face and he
passes out on the ground as the ref runs from the front of the house and
raises his hand! He hands him the title, and Jax is out! I don't know how
the hell he plans on competing in that Hardcore Rumble tonight, but he'll be
there folks!

("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begin to play. Titan makes his way out.)

Titan - NO... NO... Jax Stone as we all know is leaving the IWO so he can't take our belt and leave with it... So my ruling is that Chrome Thunder is STILL THE EXTREME CHAMPION!!!

Extreme Champion - CHROME THUNDER

************************************************************************
Someone will Burn!!!
Zombie v. Dane Wilt


GP: Alright ladies and gentlemen this next matchup is one to keep your eyes
on. It pits
"Genetic Perfection" Dane Wilt, the former North American Champion, against
former
two time world champion, the man known as Zombie.

JT: I really don't know who to root for here. I'm torn between two assholes!
They both
have that one good quality.

Nikki: I don't even really want to watch this match. I hope they burn
eachother to death. it
doesn't matter to me....scum bags.

JT: Oh your just mad cuz both of them have been in your pants and didn't come
back for
seconds skankbag.

Nikki: Oh....no you did NOT!

JT: Oh....yes I DID! AND WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

::Nikki winds up for a slap. JT ducks his head.::

JT: Oh dear god please don't hurt me. Not this early in the pay per view
already.

Nikki: Hehe...you little weiner. I guess all the beatings you've recieved
over the past year
have gotten to you huh JT?

JT: No, I just don't wanna get your coodies!

::JT sticks his tounge out in a childish fashion. Nikki retaliates by
grabbing his tounge and
slapping him across the face.::

JT: OUCH! DU B*TCH! DU MADE MA BIT MA TOUNGE!

Nikki: Serves you right. Why are you so mean all the time anyway?

JT: Well lets see...I was beaten as a child, neglected by friends, ignored by
teachers....I
never learned to read....my favorite actor is that guy that used to star on
that TV show
"Hermans Head"....need I go on?

Nikki: No....now I feel bad for you.

JT: And you SHOULD!

GP: Are you serious about all that stuff?

::JT leans over to Greg parker.::

JT: Actually....most of it was fabricated...but I am a big fan of that guy
that starred on
"Hermans Head" HE ROCKED!

::Nikki looks at JT.::

Nikki: What'd you say?

JT: Uh...I said that you looked very lovely tonight to Greg here and he
agreed with me.

::JT gives an obviously fake smile.::

Nikki: Aw...thats so sweet. So odd...its coming from the antichrist of sports
entertainment.

JT: GRRRRR......hehe.....oh gee Nikki...your SOOOOOOOOO funny.

Nikki: I know. You don't have to tell me.

JT: <Under his breath> Little b*tch I'll fix you!

GP: Ugh...does the fighting between the two of you never cease? JT....do you
have this
kind of effect on ALL women or something?

JT: Hey....I'm a sex machine. Women love me.

Nikki: AHAHAHHAHAHA! yeah right! And if you believe that....then you'd
probably
believe that JTs wanker is more than maybe two inches long. HAHAHAHA!

GP: I'm not even gonna think about that....I'll pretend I didn't hear it.

JT: HEY B*TCH! I'l have you know at full attention lil' JT is a good eight
inches!

::JT turns to the camera.::

JT: And to all you ladies out there who'd like to find out the truth...my
number is 555-25-

GP: JT! Don't give your number out!

JT: Oh yeah...good point. I might have some woman come up to my door that
looks like
something straight out of "The Wolfman" or something. Thats all I need is a
flashback to
my junior prom. YICK!

Nikki: Hey, alot of men find full figured women to be quite lovely.

JT: Yeah, well I don't find fat hoochies that damn wonderful. So sue me!

Nikki: You really are a putrid little man aren't you?

JT: Yes I am.

GP: Anyway...we've wasted ALOT of unnecessary time listening to the two of
you jabber
back and fourth. It is now time to take you to the ring where the next bout
will take place.
Thats right ladies and gentlemen it is time for the Flaming Pit of Death
Match. The object
of this match is to throw your opponent into the flaming pit of fire that
will be placed at
the ringside area. Now, lets give this over to Meygon to announce the
competitors!

**DING DING DING***

Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen...the following is a special attraction
match.....it is "The
Flaming Pit of Death" match! The object of this match is simple...to throw
your opponent
into the firey pit....and be deemed the winner. Now...introducing
first.....hailing from
.....hell I don't know....umm.....some rotted out old coffin infested with
bugs.......he is a
former two time IWO World Heavyweight champion, and tonight in the main event
he
looks to reclaim that gold. Ladies and
gentlemen....ZOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!

::"One Man Army" by Our Lady Peace begins to play as Zombie makes his way out
and to
the ring with his usual wonderful attitude just reeking off of him.::

Meygon: And his opponent....the leader of the Billion Dollar Promotion....he
is a former
IWO North American Champion....."Genetic Perfection" DAAAAAAAANE
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILT!

::"Glory" by KMFDM begins to play as Dane Wilt makes his way to the ring with
a cocky
ass smile on his face. He steps into the ring.::

Dane Wilt: HELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....it is I....YOUR ROLE
MODEL....the one the little kiddies want to be like.....the one that force
feeds you your
Genet-O's every morning....."Genetic Perfection" Dane Wilt. And I can tell
you one thing
about Zombie...he is-

:ZOmbie charges.::

GP: OH! And Zombie isn't waiting for the match to begin he's going after Wilt
already.
The referee has just lit the fire in the pit outside the ring and this match
is officially under
way. And it starts with Zombie taking the lead. He has Dane Wilt down in the
corner and
is pounding away on the former North American champion with knees to the
face. He now
presses his boot across Wilts face. This match is sure starting off with a
bang.

JT: Zombie looks determined here tonight. But then again who wants to get
some burnage
on their body the same night they're getting a title shot ya know?

Nikki: Yeah. Zombie just doesn't wanna get screwed up before his big match.

GP: Well I'd think you could call this match important, after all someone
will probably go
away on a stretcher and miss the main event if those flames are as hot as
they look to be.

JT: This is true. I can't wait. Mangled bodies, mangled bodies! WOOHOO!

Nikki: UGH!

GP: What the hell man?

JT:......WHAT? What'd I say?

GP: Anyway...back to the match. Zombie has picked Dane up and into a Firemans
Carry.
And is walking toward the fire pit! Could this end this early?!?!?! NO! Dane
has rolled off
of Zombies back and drop kicks him over the top rope! My god! Zombie is going
in! No
he isn't! He hung on! Dane bounces off of the far ropes, Zombie stands and is
met by a
SPINNING HEAL KICK! Dane isn't even CLOSE to being out of this one yet!

Nikki: Even though they are both scum I must say that move was quite
impressive.

JT: Damn right it was. Lets see pussy boy Phelen Kell do that!

Nikki: He could!

JT: YEAH RIGHT!

GP: Actually he has before JT.

JT: NAH! It was a stunt double. Trust me. I can tell.

Nikki: How can you tell?

JT: I CAN TELL!

GP: Dane now with the upper hand goes to the outside apron. Zombie stands up,
Dane
bouncing off of the ropes and into a HURRICANRANNA! He immidiately jumps to
his
feet and goes off of the ropes again, he drops and slides into Zombies side!
Wilt is taking
control of this match! Amazing!

JT: WAIT! Zombie is up already! Wilt is standing on the ropes showing off to
the crowd!
Zombie grabs him from behind! CRUCIFIX BOMB(Outsiders Edge)!!! Zombie now back
up! OH! A CRUNCH TO THE GENITALIA! That could hurt Danes chances of banging
some hot chick tonight!

Nikki: ugh...men!

GP: Zombie is now lifting Dane to his feet and hooks him in for a Snap Suplex
into the
mat. Dane is clutching his back! Zombies face is stone cold! He wants this
match! Dane is
standing up. Zombie meets him with a boot to the face. Dane may be "Genetic
Perfection"
but Zombie is two of him in size! And it is showing now with Zombie giving
Dane a back
breaker! Dane down on the mat again. Zombie walks to the ropes, bounces off
and slams
down with a knee across Danes face. Ouch! Thats gotta hurt!

JT: Oh man...I don't know who to root for in this match. Damn it!

::JT flips a coin.::

JT: AH! Heads...I'm rooting for Zombie.

GP: Thats just great JT. So glad you made your choice finally. Anyway back to
the action,
Dane is being taken to the cleaners here. Zombie takes him to the top rope.
SUPERPLEX!
Dane is rolling to the outside to try and gain his composure. Zombie is now
going to the
top again as Dane stands. OH! DANE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! ZOMBIE JUST
WENT THROUGH THE PRODUCTION CREWS TABLE! HE IS DOWN! DANE IS
DOWN!

Nikki: They both deserve to lose anyway.

JT: SHUT UP NIKKI! GET UP ZOMBIE! I FLIPPED THE F*CKIN COIN FOR YOU
MAN!

GP: Dane is the first man to his feet and it looks as though he's grabbing a
chunk of the
splitted wood. Dane now going for Zombies face! Hes' jagging it into Zombies
face! The
blood is starting to show folks! Zombie rolls him over! Hes' doing the same
thing! Both
mens faces are being bloodied here! Zombie begins head butting Wilt! WILT
WITH A
LOW BLOW! OH MY GOD! Zombie is pissed! He's up already! He is a bull thats
just
seen red! He spears Wilt into the guard rail at ringside! The fans are going
nuts! Zombie
stands and slides into the ring. Dane now coming slowly to his feet.

JT: YEAH BABY! COME ON ZOMBO! YOU CAN DO IT!

GP: Zombie is taunting Wilt now!

Zombie: COME ON WILT! EVEN KELL PUT UP MORE OF A FIGHT THAN THIS!
GET UP YOU WUSS! HARLEQUIN WAS MORE OF A FIGHT! YOU GIRLY MAN!
COME ON!

GP: Wilt does not look enthused by the situation. He has ripped one of the
metal legs of
the table off and is storming into the ring. He is met by stomps from Zombie.
But Wilt
stands! He clips Zombie from behind the kneecaps! Zombie is down! Dane is
smashing
him with the metal bar! Oh man! Wilt is going crazy! Wilt picks Zombie up and
throws
him to the ropes. Zombie is coming back now and is met with a metal bar to
the face
which sends him to the mat! Dane is going to the top now. He shakes him money
maker
and screams to the ladies in the crowd and comes off with a SHOOTING STAR
PRESS!

JT: NO! NO! NO! YES! YES! YES!

GP: HE MISSED! ZOMBIE MOVED! ZOMBIE MOVED! Dane is clutching his rib cage
from that massive impact! Oh my god! Amazing! Amazing! Zombie now pulling
himself
up falls in with an elbow to Danes stomach and repeated punches to his face.
He stands
and lifts Dane Wilt up into a Pump Handle Slam!!! He lifts him up again and
into what
looks like Torture Wrack! But Dane refuses to give up! He will not quit!

JT: Hell he can't quit! This match only ends with someone going home flaming!

Nikki: How can you tell?

JT: I CAN TELL!

GP: What the hell is that all about? Ah nevermind I don't wanna know. Zombie
now drops
Dane on the mat and begins kicking him. Dane grabs his leg and sweeps the
other out
from under the massive man. Dane immidiately wraps on a Figure Four Leg Lock!
Zombies eyes light up with pain as Dane wrenches on it. This is a magnificant
match ladies
and gentlemen! Both men are giving their all here tonight! And think about
it, one of these
men could very well leave the world champion!

JT: Hopefully one of them WILL!

Nikki: PHELEN KELL ALL THE WAY!

JT: He's married wench. Your not gonna get some of his Submarine.

Nikki: Damn.

JT: HEHE....I knew it.

Nikki: Oh well I'm still rooting for him alot!

GP: Dane now pulling it on even harder! But Zombie powers out and to the ring
ropes.
The hold is released and Dane stands going to work right away stomping on
Zombie!
Zombie grabs his foot and flips him over the ropes! THATS WHERE THE PIT IS!
BUT
DANE IS SAVED! HE HOLDS ON AND JUST BARELY SINGED HIS BOOTS!
LUCKY MAN!

JT: DAMN IT!

GP: As Dane flat foots onto the inside of the ring he is met by Zombie who
comes with a
clothesline! Dane ducks and flips Zombie over INTO THE PIT! NO! ZOMBIE IS ON
THE APRON! HE SUNSET FLIPS DANE! DANE HOLDS HIM! DROPS ON
ZOMBIE AND BEGINS THROWING LEFTS AND RIGHTS! ZOMBIE AND DANE
ARE BOTH CUT OPEN!

JT: Oh maaaaaaaan...come on Zombie. Fight back damn it! GET UP! YOU HAVE TO
WIN! I DON'T LIKE TO BE WRONG MAN!

Nikki: Is that all you care about?

JT: Well....yeah. Duh. Obviously ya ditz.

Nikki: Enough already.

JT: Hey you started it Queen Skankzilla.

Nikki: Oh bite me!

JT: You'd like that wouldn't ya? Hehe.

Nikki: NO! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

*SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP*

Nikki: Wuss boy you had that coming to you!

JT: Geez....ouch....I MEAN WELL! REALLY I DO!

GP: Come on lets get this back in order. Dane and Zombie are now standing toe
to toe.
The lock up. Dane with a DDT to ZOmbie now he is grinding his thumb into the
open
wound on ZOmbies face. The blood is begining to pour profusely from Zombies
head.
This is crazy! Zombie now poking Dane in the eyes. Dane closes his eyes and
bites
Zombies fingers! He continues grinding now!

Nikki: Wha? HEY LOOK! LOOK WHO IT IS!

JT: Oh f*ck me!

GP: ITS PHELEN KELL! PHELEN KELL IS STANDING ON THE RAMP WAY! HE
IS COMING TO THE RING WITH A GLASS BOTTLE IN HIS HAND! DANE SEES
PHELEN COMING! HE GOES TO THE SIDE OF THE RING LOOKING TOWARD
THE RAMP AT PHELEN!!!

Dane: What the hell do you want?

Phelen: What do I want?.......I want something more than I could ever get
from making
you lose a match Dane.

Dane: Oh yea what would that be?

GP: ZOMBIE FROM BEHIND! HE LIFTS HIM UP! ZOMBIEPLEX! ZOMBIEPLEX!
DANE IS OUT! KELL LEAPS INTO THE RING! ZOMBIE COMES AT HIM! OH MY
GOD! MY GOD! MY GOD! PHELEN SMASHED THAT BOTTLE OVER ZOMBIES
HEAD! HE SMASHED IT OVER ZOMBIES HEAD! ZOMBIES FACE IS COVERED
IN BLOOD! HE IS COVERED IN BLOOD EVEN MORE THAN DANE MADE HIM!
KELL IS TALKING TO DANE! HE HAS A MICROPHONE!

Phelen: Yeah thats right....what I want is something more than just making
you lose. But
for the time being.....it will just have to due. Have fun in the emergency
room Dane.

GP: NO! NO! NO! NO! KELL HAS ROLLED DANE INTO THE FIRE PIT! DANE IS
ON FIRE! HE'S TRYING TO CRAWL OUT OF THE PIT! HE'S ON FIRE! THE
BELL HAS RUNG! ZOMBIE WINS! ZOMBIE WINS! ZOMBIE WINS! KELL IS
SMILING.

Phelen: Don't like that huh? Well....just imagine how the flames of hell
will be when I
send you there. Good day to you.

GP: Kell is leaving!

JT: YES! KICK ASS! WAY TO GO PHELEN! EVEN THOUGH YOU SMASHED
ZOMBIE OVER THE HEAD! YEAH!

Nikki: Phelen doesn't look happy.

GP: This night just keeps getting better and better. Ladies and
gentlemen.....we aren't
even CLOSE to being done yet! Lets get the final word from Meygon!

Meygon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR WINNER OF THE FLAMING PIT OF
DEATH
MATCH....ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMBIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE
E!!!!

GP: Oh no...ladies and gentlemen...the medics have arrived...they're pulling
Wilt out of
the fire....he doesn't look so hot at the moment...hehe....so
hot....wait....thats just wrong.
Sorry about that. Dane Wilt is on a gourney...they're carrying him out, and
the pit is being
filled in to prepare for the next match. But damn it...what a show those two
men put on
for us here tonight.

************************************************************************

GP: Well, after that war... I guess it's time for us to move on to the 4
Corners World Tag Team Title/ Intercontinental Tag Team Title Match. The
Beverly Hills Bruisers... the tag team champions since Heatstroke 1999, after
"defeating" Hostile Youth 2... and the Prep Kids, who recently earned the IC
Tag Titles from the Crypt. Now, four teams... two titles... the winners will
walk away the representives of the IWO's superb tag team division, and the
ones that lose to those will be considered the second-best... let's go to the
ring.

JT: How sickening was that? I mean, it sounded all sentimental and crap.

Nikki: I'd have to agree with JT.

JT: Really?

Nikki: ... NO!

(Nikki laughs on and on as we head to the ring.)

Meygon: The following matchup, is the DOUBLE TAG TEAM TITLE FOUR CORNERS,
SINGLE-ELIMINATION, WORLD AND INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS BOUT!!!!

("Got The Life" by KoRn blasts as Al Coholic makes his way out. He's alone.)

Meygon: Introducing first... one-half of one of the challenging teams... here
is the former World Title contender, who could very well walk out the IWO
World Champion after tonight's Costume Ball Hardcore Royal... AL... COHOLIC!!!

(Even for his drunken self, Al seems focused. "Got The Life" fades away...
and "Kiss My Ass" by Ted Nugent hits.)

GP: Isn't that Ken War's music?!

JT: Yes, IT IS!

Meygon: And his tag team partner... the first man to ever win the IWO Pacific
Championship outside of ?┐?'s footrace... here is the man that considers
himself the one-time King Of Mid-Carders... and claims he'll be the King Of
The World... here is the master of Shacked 4 Life... JUSTIN.... SHACK!!!!

(Justin Shack makes his way out, as the Salem fans just go off. A quick pyro
display blasts as Shack walks down the aisle and enters the ring... and
stands next to his sometime-friend sometime-enemy and tag partner Al.)

JT: They seem ready for this. Well, Al's as ready as a lifetime drunk can be.

GP: These two are two in their prime...

Nikki: Uh, Greg?

GP: What?

Nikki: Quit with the seriousness.

GP: I'm the play-by-play man... I have to be serious.

Nikki: No, you don't.

GP: Yes, I -

(He's cut off as "The British/Canadian Anthem Mix" by the IWO Orchestra hits.
Out walks the Foreign Legion.)

Meygon: AND THE SECOND TEAM IN THE MATCH... ONE IS CANADIAN, AND IS
PSYCHOTIC... THE OTHER, FROM BRITIAN, AND IS A SNOB - ER, ARISTOCRAT... HERE
IS THE CRAZY CANUCK AND BROTHER AL, THE FOREIGN LEGION!!!

(Canuck and Al enter the ring, and immediately get into a staredown with
Al/Shack. Their music fades... and Silverchair's "Anthem For The Year 2000"
blasts from all the speakers, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. The Prep Kids
stand out to a HUMUNGOUS pop.)

Meygon: PLEASE WELCOME OUR THIRD TEAM... THE CURRENT, REIGNING IWO
INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, HERE IS JORDAN HOWITT AND RANDALL
MCCLOUD... HERE IS THE PREP KIDS!!!

GP: THIS CROWD IS ELECTRIFIED!!!!

JT: DAMMIT!! WHEN DID THIS GET SO FRIGGIN' LOUD?!!!!

(The Prep Kids get onto the apron... they walk to opposite ends of that side
of the ring... and climb the turnbuckles, raising the IC Tag gold high above
their heads with both hands. The crowd gets louder.)

JT: I'M COVERING MY EARS, GREG!!!

Nikki: WHAT?!!!

JT: SUCK MY DICK!!

Nikki: WHAT?!!

JT: I SAID, SUCK MY DICK, YOU STUPID WHORE!!!

*SLAP!!!!*

JT: OW!!! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

Nikki: YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D HEAR YOU?!

JT: NO!!!!!

("Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by The Offspring cuts off the Prep Kids's
music... the crowd's cheers turn to boos quickly and suddenly.)

Meygon: AND THE DEFENDING AND LONG-REIGNING WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE
IWO... FROM BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA... ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY NONE
OTHER THAN CAREN DUDLEY, HERE IS MICHAEL AND BRIAN DUDLEY... THE BROTHERLY
DUO KNOWN AS THE BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS!!!!!!!!!

(As the BHB make their way out, beer cans and several other objects are
lobbed at them by drunks and others.)

JT: Disrespect to the Tag Team Champions of OUR world.

GP: JT?

JT: Yes, Greggy-poo?

GP: Just shut the f*ck up for once.

JT: Bring it on, tubbaguts.

GP: WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!

JT: TUBBAGUTS!! LARD-ASS!!!!

GP: YOUR MOTHER BLOWS DEAD RATS!!!!!

(JT shuts up...)

GP: ... better.

(The Bruisers get into the ring... and the match starts.)

GP: Al and Shack going straight for the Bruisers! And the Foreign Legion
attacking Shack and Coholic! And the Prep Kids... they're just sticking back
and enjoying the show. Smart move by our IC Tag Champions.

JT: They're just chicken.

GP: JT... don't make me pull out another insult.

JT: OOOOH, SCARY FAT MAN!!!

GP: Okay... want a hurts donut?

JT: Sure. Can it have glaze on it?

GP: No, but it can have...

(Greg punches out JT. He opens his palm to reveal a roll of quarters.)

GP: SOME MONEY!! HAHAHAHA!!

Nikki: Good, you knocked out JT! Now do your job! Play-by-play!!!

GP: Okay... Prep Kids still hanging back, and Canuck has Shack by the head.
And he has Ol' Bessie! And... ONCE!!!... TWICE!!!.... THRICE!!! Al goes down
after Ol' Bessie rearranges his skull!!!!!

Nikki: I'm not sure, but that could have sobered him.

GP: Yeah, right. Since when could anyone sober Al Coholic? And why isn't
Canuck going for the pin?

Nikki: He's staring at Bessie's imprint in Al's skull!

GP: And now Shack sees this... and lays a european uppercut to Canuck!!
Canuck staggers back, and... BEARBACK!!!

Nikki: Bearback?

GP: You know, the midsection stunner.

Nikki: You mean Danny Doring's move?

GP: Who's Danny Doring? Anyways, Shack picking up Canuck again. Justin's a
veteran of this organization... he'll use that to his advantage during the
match. Irish whip... and he hits an inverted atomic drop!!

Nikki: He'll feel that cum winter.

GP: Did you say...?

Nikki: "Come". I said "come winter".

GP: Alllllll-righty then... now, Shack hits an inverted DDT on Canuck... and
it looks like the ref got this organized. Coholic and Brother Al are right
across from each other, so the match could change pace quickly. Canuck tags
in Brother Al... and a heavy-hitting double flapjack from the foreign
fanatics!!

JT: Booooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggg........

GP: DAMMIT, STAY DOWN!!!

(Greg punches JT with his roll of coins again. This time, JT pops back up.)

JT: I AM INVINCIBLE!!

GP: SHUT UP!!!!

Nikki: Sigh... well, I'll be doing play-by-play. Okay, Brother Al... such a
hottie. NOT!! Well, he's beating down on Shack with stomps... grabs Shack by
the hair... SHACK HITS A LOW BLOW!! Dammit, I was heading for their dressing
room after this! Oh well... there's still Canuck.

GP: WOULD YOU F*CKING SHUT YOUR F*CKING MOUTH?!

JT: NO!!!

Nikki: Brother Al bent over in pain, and Shack hits a Rocker Dropper! Tags in
Coholic, and they lay the boots to Britian's favorite IWO wrestler.

(The crowd is starting to chant "Boooooooring.... Booooooooring...". It
appears Al has picked up on this.)

Nikki: Where's Al Coholic going?

(Al's leaving the ring... and he's going under it... out comes...)

Nikki: Is that a beer keg? And a rubber ducky?

GP/JT: Huh?

Nikki: While you two CHILDREN argued... there hasn't been much happening.

JT: So we didn't miss anything?

Nikki: Nope.

JT: Not even you masturbating over Brian Dudley?

*SLAP*

JT: Woo-hoo... GOING FOR THE RECORD TONIGHT!!

GP: I'll take the reins of PBP. Thanks, Nikki.

Nikki: Anytime, you big hunka man.

JT: Wait... are you allegating...?

Nikki/GP: NO!!!!!!

GP: Well, back to the action. Al's grabbed a few more things, including... a
toilet? I'm not even going to ask. Well, Al rolls them in. Brother Al is on
his knees... and he gets a dry swirly from the most electrifying drunk in
sports-entertainment! Wait... AL, NO!!!

*CRACK BANG WHIZZIE!!!!*

GP: OH, GOOD GOD!!! AL JUST SLAMMED A NINETY-POUND BEER KEG THROUGH A
LINOLEUM TOILET WITH BROTHER AL'S HEAD INSIDE!!!

JT: YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!!!!!! I'M IN HEAVEN
RIGHT NOW, AND LATER TONIGHT, I'LL BE IN NIKKI!!!!

*SLAP!*

JT: Oochie poochies...

GP: Brother Al is out of it. He might be out of wrestling. The human head
isn't supposed to take punishment like that... hell, it isn't supposed to be
put into a toilet in the first place. Now what's Al doing? He's picking up
that beer keg... is he? WAIT!!!! Jordan Howitt IN! HE GRABS THE BEER KEG, AND
BANG!!! GOODNIGHT, AL COHOLIC!!! HAVE SOME SWEET DREAMS OF BEER!!! BUT AL
LANDED ON BROTHER AL!!! THE REF IS TRYING TO GET HOWITT FROM THE RING!! AND
HERE COMES MICHAEL DUDLEY TO ASSIST THE REF!!!! HE ATTACKS HOWITT!!! BRIAN'S
IN!!! HERE COMES SHACK AND CRAZY CANUCK!!! IT'S ALL PSYCHO IN THE RING!!!
McCloud going to the top... and, MISSILE DROPKICK!!! HOWITT ROLLS UP JUSTIN
SHACK!!! THE REF...

(1... 2... SHACK GETS THE SHOULDER UP!)

GP: Shack survives a tight situation caused by our IC Tag Champions! And he's
up again, and back in the battle!!!

JT: Imagine the fatigue later tonight in the Hardcore Royal for these guys.

GP: Good point JT. Wait... did I just say that? To JT?

Nikki: Well, it's Halloween... it IS JT's, and every other freak's, night.

JT: Well, it sure as hell is - HEY!!!

GP: Well, JT hasn't suddenly changed. I can hardly tell what's going on in
there... McCloud... HITS A ROARING ELBOW ON MICHAEL DUDLEY!!!

(1... 2... OOH!)

GP: A PINKY-HIT AWAY FROM THERE BEING NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AT THE END
OF THE MATCH!! But Jordan Howitt isn't in such a comprimising position... it
looks like Crazy Canuck is going to hit a charging avalanche with a chair.
This is not good... not good... HOWITT GOT THE FOOT UP!! CANUCK IS STRUCK
WITH HIS OWN CHAIR!!!! HE STUMBLES... PICTURE-PERFECT DDT!!! HOWITT COVERS!!!

(1... INTERRUPTED!)

GP: CAN WE GET ORDER IN THIS MATCH?! BRIAN DUDLEY SAVES CRAZY CANUCK FOR A
REASON I DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HOWITT AND DUDLEY STANDING EYE-TO-EYE! AND THIS
RIVALRY EXPLODES!!! IT'S PUNCHING TIME BETWEEN JORDAN HOWITT AND BRIAN
DUDLEY!!! BRIAN GOES DOWN!!! FISTS OF RAGE!! FISTS OF RAGE!! HOWITT LOOKS
LIKE A DOMINATING UFC FIGHTER!!! MICHAEL DUDLEY... BOOT TO THE FACE!!! BUT...
wait, McCloud's on top again... SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! HE CONNECTED
PERFECTLY!!!

(1... 2... SAVED BY...)

GP: ONCE AGAIN, SOMEONE SAVES AN OPPOSING MEMBER OF A TEAM!!! THIS TIME,
BROTHER AL SAVES MICHAEL DUDLEY FROM DEFEAT!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO ORDER IN
THIS MATCH!!! BROTHER AL DOESN'T NOTICE... AND HE'S HAVING A HAPPY HOUR WITH
AL COHOLIC!! COVER!!!

(1... 2... 3!!!)

Meygon: THE FOREIGN LEGION'S BROTHER AL HS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

GP: Well, the first elimination of the match.

JT: Greg, the guy's a technician!!! You expect him to survive with all the
bullsh*t in the ring, PLUS the crooked referee?

GP: What crooked referee?

JT: OH, ALL THESE SALEM MASSACHUSSETS IDIOTS ARE BIASED AGAINST BRITISH
PEOPLE!!!

GP: THEY HAVE GOOD REASON, TOO!!! Lousy redcoats. Anyways, the Foreign Legion
has a chance in this thing. BOTH members of a team must be eliminated for the
team itself to be taken out. Crazy Canuck looks like he has a lot of stamina
in him. He's lost, it appears though... and there's... a... a...

Nikki: What the hell... is that?

GP: Looks to be... I don't know. All I know is that Shack has it... and he's
trying to figure out what it is. Who threw that in, anyways?

Nikki: I think.. it was Brother Al.

JT: I hope it doesn't hurt the next IWO Champion...

GP: You seriously think Justin Shack has a chance in hell of... FIRE!!!

JT: WHAT?!

GP: THAT WAS A FIREBALL!!!! THAT... THING JUST SHOT FIRE INTO THE EYES OF
JUSTIN SHACK!!! HE CAN'T SEE, AND HE GOES DOWN!!! 9021ELB0 FROM JORDAN
HOWITT!!!!!!!!!

(1... 2... THAT'S AMAZING!!!)

GP: JUSTIN SHACK KICKED OUT BLIND!!! A DESPERATION MOVE BY THE FORMER PACIFIC
CHAMPION!!! AND AL COHOLIC GRABS HOWITT!!! HE'S SIGNALLING FOR THE HAPPY
HOUR!!! ONCE!!! HE'S PICKING UP HOWITT AGAIN!!

(Al yells something!)

Al Coholic: YOU FRIGGIN' ASSHOLE... YOU BURNT BY BARSTOOL BUDDIE'S EYES!!!
HOW WILL I GET DRUNK AND LAID WITH AN EYELESS COMPADRE?!!!!!

JT: Good point... although Nikki will still bang him.

*SLAP*

JT: That's what... three?

*SLAP*

Nikki: Four.

GP: Shack is still stumbling around... HE HAS AL!!!! SHACKED 4 LIFE ON AL
COHOLIC!!! JUSTIN SHACK JUST LAID OUT HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER!!! AND HE COVERS,
BLINDED STILL!!

(1... 2... WHAT THE HELL IS THE REF DOING?)

GP: THE REF REALIZED THAT JUSTIN WAS COVERING HIS OWN PARTNER... HE'S TELLING
SHACK THAT NOW!!!

Justin Shack: YOU WERE GOING TO COUNT MY OWN F*CKIN' PARTNER OUT WHEN I HAD
HIM PINNED? YOU LITTLE -

(SHACKED 4 LIFE ON THE REF!!!)

GP: OH!!! PERFECT!!!! NOW THERE'S NO REFEREE!!!

JT: THIS GETS BETTER BY THE MINUTE!!!!

GP: MICHAEL AND BRIAN GRAB THE BLINDED SHACK... SUNSET IN BEVERLY HILLS!!! NO
REF THOUGH!!! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... HELL, SHACK KICKED OUT!! SHACK KICKED
OUT!!!

JT: Calm down, Greg poo poo. There's no ref... of course he kicked out.

GP: WELL, DAMMIT, NO ONE'S KICKED OUT OF THE SUNSET IN BEVERLY HILLS!!!

JT: I think someone has.

GP: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!! SHACK GRABS MICHAEL DUDLEY... SHACKED 4
LIFE!!! AL COHOLIC IS UP.... HE GRABS SHACK?!!! HAPPY HOUR!! HAPPY HOUR ON
HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER!!! HERE COMES A REF!! JORDAN HOWITT COVERS!!

(1... 2... 3!)

Meygon: JUSTIN SHACK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

GP: SHACK IS UP!! HE'S YELLING AT AL COHOLIC!!! AL'S YELLING BACK!!! SHACK
PUSHES HIM!!! AND JUSTIN SHACK IS LEAVING THE RINGSIDE AREA... AL CURSING AT
HIM!

JT: Well, that little tag team exploded, didn't it?

Nikki: Yeah, just like your sex organ exploded when you watched lesbian sex.

JT: Well, yeah... I'm still not suprised that you were able to play TWO
different gender roles in that same film.

*SLAP!*

JT: That would be... five.

GP: Well, it looks like there's order back in the match... the Dudley Boyz
are on the outside now.

JT: They're THE BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS, GREG!!!

GP: I DON'T CARE!!! I'M THE PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN, AND I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT!!

JT: No you can't.

GP: Shut up, JT. It looks like Crazy Canuck is back in the ring, facing
Randall McCloud. They tie up... Canuck pushed into the corner. Canuck pushes
out... and he swings at McCloud. McCloud dodges... and hits an elbow to the
gut.

JT: MOVE IT, JACKASSES!!!

GP: JT just asking for trouble... and Canuck thrown into the ropes. Back-body
drop... no! Canuck has him up, POWERBOMB!!! He flips off the Bruisers, and
the Bruisers want in! Jordan Howitt scaling the top rope, waiting for Canuck
to turn around... BUT MICHAEL DUDLEY RUNS OVER AND SHAKES THE ROPES FROM THE
OUTSIDE, AND HOWITT IS CROTCHED!!

Nikki: Looks like there won't be any Prep Babies!!

GP: Howitt stuck on the top-rope... Canuck grabbing a chair, setting it up in
a sitting position on the canvas... he heads to the other corner... runs...
jumps... DDT!! NO!!!! HOWITT!!! TOP-ROPE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!!!

JT: THEY'RE HEADING STRAIGHT FOR -

(All the headsets are cut off as Jordan Howitt and the Crazy Canuck fly
through the table, which literally EXPLODES in an orgy of wood and assorted
materials. Greg Parker has been shot like a bullet into the
How-Me-Chow-Sum-Yung-Guy announce table, his flab breaking that table. JT...
is unconscious, his head having struck the guardrail... and ironically
enough, Nikki's head has landed in his crotch in a rather sexual position.
Howitt is knocked out. Canuck is knocked out. McCloud is to the outside,
checking on Howitt. So is the ref. Out comes VP Shaun. He has a microphone.)

VP Shaun: Ladies and gentlemen, Jordan Howitt went through that solid-wood
table head-first... paramedics are on their way. Also, Crazy Canuck appears
to be in need of medical attention as well. The match WILL continue, however.

(Michael Dudley and Al Coholic step into the ring. Al and Michael start
trading blows, back and forth. Tie-up. Michael Dudley goes into the ropes...
and is back-body dropped to the outisde. Al follows him to the outside, and
throws him over the guardrail.)

Nikki: It appears I'm the only one awake... Howitt, McCloud, and Canuck are
right next to me. Right now, Al Coholic has thrown Michael Dudley into the
raging fans of Salem... and the two are going someplace. Brian Dudley heading
after them, within seconds of that suprise intermission, we have pandemonium.

JT: Huh.... huh... whazza? Are we on?

Nikki: Yes, JT, we're on.

JT: Are we getting it on?

*SLAP!*

JT: Ouch... where's the action?

Nikki: It's up in the stands... no, the concession booth. It looks like Al
Coholic is drinking.

JT: Isn't he always?

Nikki: Yes, he is. Al grabs a beer keg from behind the stand... and BLASTS
MICHAEL DUDLEY WITH IT!!!

JT: You suck as the PBP woman... or should I say man?

*SLAP!*

JT: Alllll right..... 7. Now where's Greg?

(Paramedics finally start heading out. They have brought stretchers... and
Greg is still laying on the How-Me-Chow-Sum-Yung-Guy table's remains.)

JT: Well, we know where lard-ass went...

Nikki: We've lost view of Al Coholic and the Bruisers.

JT: WHAT?! How could we?

Nikki: They just disappeared, although - that'll be later, honey, just give
me the info - I'm getting word that the two are in the PARKING LOT!!!

JT: Really?

^^Parking Lot^^

Nikki: Al Coholic drives Brian Dudley into the trunk of a car!!! Michael
Dudley... where'd he go??

JT: He's at his limo... AND THERE'S A TIRE IRON IN HIS HAND!!

Nikki: He's gonna hit Al with it... LOOK OUT!

JT: MICHAEL DUDLEY JUST HIT HIS OWN BROTHER WITH A TIRE IRON!!! OH NO!!!!

Nikki: THAT ONE MISTAKE COULD COST THE BRUISERS THE TAG TEAM TITLES!!! AL
COVERS!!!! NO REFEREE, AGAIN!!! HERE COMES PREZ TITAN!!! TITAN!!!! HE HAS A
REFEREE SHIRT ON!!! HITS MICHAEL DUDLEY!!!

(1... 2... DAMMIT!)

Nikki: SO CLOSE!!! Howitt is being taken away as we speak... along with Crazy
Canuck. This is bad... real bad. Titan's our referee now... that makes TWO
MATCHES that he's officiating, because we still have Phelen Kell vs. King
Sting still to come. This entire frickin' match is off the hook. Brian Dudley
has Al by his head...

JT: The head like mine? Y'know... that one that you want to grab?

*SLAP!*

JT: 8.


8.&127;&127;*SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP
!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!
**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!*
*SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**
SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**S
LAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SL
AP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLA
P!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!**SLAP!*

JT: OOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! That'd be 88.

*SLAP!*
*SLAP!*

JT: An even 90...

(JT collapses. Again.)

Nikki: Owwwwwie... my poor widdle hand. Well, during my slap-a-thon, Brian
and Michael Dudley have taken control of this match. SUNSET IN BEVERLY HILLS
TO AL COHOLIC!! Titan going for the count...

Titan: One... pinky down. Two... ring finger down. Three... my middle finger
is extended. F*CK YOU, BRUISERS!!!

Nikki: TITAN GRABS MICHAEL DUDLEY... PUTS HIM ON A CAR... TITAN X-PRESS TO
ONE-HALF OF THE IWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! HE PUTS AL COHOLIC ON TOP!

(1-3!!!)

Meygon(Waaaaaaay back in the arena): ELIMINATED... MICHAEL DUDLEY!!

Brian Dudley: What about TWO?!!!!

Titan: I COUNT THE WAY I WANT TO COUNT!!! SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BITCH!!!

(In the background, we see Jordan Howitt being put into an ambulance. Brian
heads after the ambulance... BUT CRAZY CANUCK!)

Nikki: CRAZY CANUCK HITS BRIAN DUDLEY WITH 'OL BESSIE!! The ambulance is
pulling off... AND THERE'S RANDALL MCCLOUD!!! HIS PARTNER MAY BE OUT OF IT,
BUT HE'S STILL FIGHTING ON! RANDALL MCCLOUD HITTING ANYTHING IN SIGHT...

Titan: HEY!!! YOU -

Randall McCloud: SHUT UP!!!! YOU SUCK AS PRESIDENT!!

Titan: Oh, I do?

Nikki: Titan grabs McCloud... CHOKESLAM!!!

Titan: Hey, BITCH DUDLEY... CRAWL YOUR OVERWEIGHT, OUTTA-SHAPE ASS TO THIS
LITTLE ASSHOLE'S BODY!!!

Nikki: Titan using his mouth to lay the smackdown tonight.

JT: Like how you lay the suck-down on everyone's dick?

*SLAP!*

JT: 91. Ugh. Gettin' closer to the big One - Oh - Oh...

Nikki: Both McCloud and Brian Dudley are laid out by Titan... and he's
mocking them. What kind of President does this?

JT: I'll tell you what... A GOOD ONE!!!!!

Nikki: Neither McCloud or Dudley is moving... wait... here comes the Crazy
Canuck! HE COVERS RANDALL MCCLOUD!!!!

(1... 2... 3!!!)

Nikki: There WILL BE NEW INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TONIGHT!!

Meygon: Now eliminated.... RANDALL MCCLOUD!!!!

Nikki: Al Coholic is stumbling around... he grabs a trash can... AND GOES
AFTER THE LIMP BODY OF BRIAN DUDLEY WITH IT!!!! That car.. it's moving!! LOOK
OUT!!!

*BAM!*

Nikki: SOMEONE HIT AL COHOLIC WITH A CAR!!!! DAMN....

*Sounds of food leaving the body via the mouth*

JT: Ewwwwie gooieeeee....

GP: Am... am I on?

JT: GREG?!

GP: That's right, the Park is back in the game!!! What'd I miss?

JT: Well, Nikki gave me a blowjob, and -

*SLAP!*

JT: Oo-oo... ninety-two!

GP: Well, who cares. Anyways, it appears that Al Coholic has been hit with
something hard!

Nikki: IT WAS A C-C-C-C-CAR!!!

(Nikki continues vomiting.)

GP: Why is she getting so terribly sick?

JT: I think I shoved it a little too -

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-three... lucky me!

GP: Well, JT seems to be OK. Who hit him? IT WAS JUSTIN SHACK!!! JUSTIN SHACK
HIT AL COHOLIC!!!

Justin Shack: You little piece of no-good ****, your ****in ****er-***king
Daddy-****ing piece of trash loser ass!!! NOBODY, BUT NOBODY, TAKES ME OUT OF
THE MATCH! ESPECIALLY A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A DRINKER LIKE YOU!!

GP: Justin Shack has turned on Al Coholic... AGAIN!

JT: BIG suprise.

GP: Crazy Canuck sees Al lying there... pins him!

(1... 2... 3!)

Meygon: AL COHOLIC... HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

GP: AND THEN, there were two. Crazy Canuck... and Brian Dudley. Can the
Bruisers retain the World Tag Team Titles? Brian grabs Crazy Canuck, and...
BRAINBUSTER!!!

(1... 2... 3.)

Meygon: CRAZY CANUCK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED... THE WINNERS OF THE BOUT, AND
STILL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS -

Titan: HOLD ON A DAMN SECOND!

GP: Titan has grabbed a microphone. Where did that come from?

JT: Who cares? The President of this glorious company is speaking!

GP: You are such a butt-kisser.

JT: At least I don't lick Jamie's balls!

*PUNCH!*

JT: Oh, now I have to keep count of two different attacks?

Titan: Brian Dudley... NOT EVERY TEAM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Brian Dudley: What the f*ck are you talking about?

Titan: NO ONE pinned Jordan Howitt... the Prep Kids, are STILL in this
matchup!

GP: AN AMAZING ANNOUNCEMENT BY PREZ TITAN!

Titan: So what that means, is that your "I make love to a G.I. Joe" ass MUST
get to the Emergency Room at Salem County Hospital, and YOU... MUST BEAT
JORDAN HOWITT! NOW GO GET YOUR HOMOSEXUAL ANTICS AND GET DOWN THERE!!!

(Both the Dudleys get into the car. Titan walks over to the passenger's side
and pulls out Michael Dudley!)

Titan: And where do you think YOU'RE going? You were eliminated. Go back to
your f'n dressing room and make love to Chrome Thunder or something.

(He throws Michael Dudley onto the concrete. Brian peels out of the garage,
and Titan climbs into his limo.)

Titan: Kelly...

Kelly: Yes my commander of the oh-so-powerful cock?

Titan: FOLLOW THAT CAR!!! Katie... GIVE ME HEAD!! Kristy... JOIN HER!!!

Kelly: What about me, my lord of the meatpole?

Titan: If you follow that car, you'll get me all to yourself.

(The limo burns rubber out of the parking lot. We go back to the announce
table... or what's left.)

GP: Well... that was surely the strangest thing I've ever seen.

JT: Damn, the KKK is HOT!

Nikki: It's just three sluts.

JT: They're whores, not sluts, Nikki. I would figure you would know the
difference, considering you're both.

*SLAP!*

JT: What was that... ninety-four? This is hardcore.

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-five... I feel the vibe.

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-six... she's getting her quick sex fix.

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-seven... she made love to some guy named Evan!

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-eight... my cheeks will be gone at this rate.

*SLAP!*

JT: Ninety-nine... she's wet as wine!

*SLAP!*

JT: One hundred.... uh... dammit. I can't think of anything.

Nikki: Good.

GP: Where are those cars now?

(We go to a view of Salem County Hospital. We watch as Brian Dudley's car
screeches into the parking lot of the hospital, closely followed by Titan's
whore-mobile... er... okay, IT IS a whore-mobile. So sue me.)

GP: Brian Dudley hops right out of the car... and he's in the hospital!!!

(Brian runs straight to the front desk.)

Brian Dudley: I'm looking for a Howitt, first name Jordan?

Front Desk Lady: OH MY GOD!!! ARE... ARE... you... BRIAN DUDLEY?!!!

Brian Dudley: Yes. Now where is Jordan Howitt?!

Front Desk Lady: AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! YOU'RE MY
FAVORITE!! YOU'RE SO HOT... SEXY...

Brian Dudley: AND YOU'RE A FAT WHORE WITH FACIAL HAIR!!! NOW F*CKING TELL ME
WHERE JORDAN HOWITT IS!!!!!!!!

Front Desk Lady: Anything... for you, honey. He's in the E.R. Ward... being
checked for a neck injury.

Brian Dudley: Thank you, and f*ck off.

(Brian runs off... and in walks Titan.)

Titan: Did you see a fat homosexual walk in here?

Front Desk Lady: ARE... ARE YOU... TITAN?!

Titan: YES, YOU FAT BITCH!!!

Front Desk Lady: AIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!!!

Titan: (I can't take this much longer...)

(Titan grabs the Front Desk Lady.... TITAN X-PRESS!!!)

JT: YOU GO MR. PRESIDENT!!!!

GP: Titan once again harming innocent people. The more things change, the
more they stay the same. *Sigh*

JT: You sighed. Is Nikki giving you head under the table again?

*SLAP!*

JT: 101... YAHOO!

Nikki: Shut up for once, JT.

GP: Titan roaming the halls... Brian Dudley roaming the halls... at some
point, everyone's going to meet up, and boy, it's going to get messy.

(Brian walks through hall after hall...)

GP: On the right side of your screen, folks, there's Dudley. On the other
side, there's Titan...

Titan: Son of a bitch... where are they?

(We hear a door open... it's the BACKSTREET BOYS!)

BSB Nick: Hey, look, it's that stinking Phelen Kell's buddy! GET HIM!!

(All the Backstreet Boys go after Titan...)

GP: It looks like the wussiest boy-band group of them all wants a piece of
Mr. Millenium. There goes one... I think he's called A.J.?... into a bunch of
janitor's crap! There goes another one, Brian, or whatever, through the wall!

JT: IWO!! LIKE NOTHING ELSE!!

GP: This match is pure INSANITY! TITAN IS BEATING UP EVERY TEENAGE-GIRL'S WET
DREAM!!! THERE GOES THE REST OF THEM!!!! Titan continues on... meanwhilst, we
still have Brian Dudley looking for Jordan Howitt.

(Brian turns the corner... opens a door...)

JT: FINALLY!!! HE FOUND HIM!!

Nikki: What are you so excited about?

JT: THERE'S A REALLY, REALLY HOT NURSE ATTENDING TO HIM!

Brian Dudley: FOUND YOU, MOTHER F*CKER!!

GP: AND BRIAN DUDLEY IS ATTACKING A HOSPITALIZED JORDAN HOWITT!!! LAYING IN
FISTS OF FIRE ON THE UNCONSCIOUS BODY OF THE PREP KID!!

JT: FINISH HIM OFF!

GP: NO!

JT: YES!!! KILL THE STINKIN' KIDDY!! BLOOD! BLOOD!

GP: NO BLOOD!!!

JT: YES BLOOD!

Nikki: Why do I have to get this job?

GP: NO BLOOD... wait. Brian Dudley is taking Howitt and throwing him on a
stretcher... he's pushing him out of his room! He's aiming towards a flight
of stairs!! NO, BRIAN, DON'T!! NO NO NO NO GOD DAMMIT NO!!!!! JORDAN HOWITT
JUST GOT PUSHED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS ON A STRETCHER!!

JT: He flew for the first few seconds there!

GP: JT, THIS IS SERIOUS!! Now Brian Dudley is going after the body of Jordan
Howitt... I think he wants to humiliate and break every bone in Howitt's
body. What a sick SOB.

JT: He's my new favorite wrestler!

GP: And JT's sicker. Dudley now has the broken body of Jordan Howitt... wait.
Is he... NOT AGAIN!!!!

JT: YES! GORILLA PRESS THE SUCKER DOWN THE STAIRS!

GP: NO!!! NO NO!!!

JT: OH... HELL... WHAT THE HELL?!

GP: RANDALL MCCLOUD!!! RANDALL MCCLOUD JUST HIT BRIAN DUDLEY WITH A 9-IRON!!!!

JT: NO, DAMN YOU!! I HATE KIDS!!

GP: Randall checking on his fallen partner... and now he's attacking Brian
Dudley!! Wait! THERE'S MICHAEL DUDLEY!!! THERE'S THE FOREIGN LEGION!! SHACK
AND AL, BACK TOGETHER... AGAIN!!! AND IT'S A PIER SIXER ON A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
IN A HOSPITAL!!! BRIAN DUDLEY GETS HIT WITH THAT 9-IRON AGAIN!! RANDALL
MCCLOUD IS ON THE TOP STEP!!! 9021elb0!!! HE PUTS HOWITT ON BRIAN DUDLEY!!!
THERE'S TITAN!! HE HAS THE SCALPS OF THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!

JT: THOSE GUYS SHOULD BE CALLED THE BACKDOOR BOYS!

GP: HE SEES HOWITT ON DUDLEY!! ONE... TWO... THREE! NEW WORLD TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS!! WE HAVE NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, OF THE I-W-O!!!! HELL
YEAH!!! TITAN BROUGHT ALONG THE TITLES!!! HE HANDS THEM TO MCCLOUD!!!

Meygon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS OF THE MATCH... AND
NEEEEEEW IWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE -

Dane Wilt: HOLD ON, TITAN!!

(Dane Wilt and Chrome Thunder, the other members of the BDP, walk out. Dane
has about all of Titan's Whores.)

Dane Wilt: SOMEONE HOOK THIS UP TO THE P.A. IN THAT HOSPITAL, 'CUZ TITAN,
I'VE GOT A... proposition... FOR YOU!

(We hear Dane's voice relayed into the hospital.)

Titan: WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU FAT, BALD, UGLY SKANKASOURUS?!

Dane: Well, Titan, I have your good 'ol whores here... now, unless you'd like
to see them handle my ten-inch dick and get sent straight into a coma like I
sent little Sue-Whore Kell, YOU WILL HAND THOSE TITLES BACK TO EVERYONE'S
FAVORITE TEAM... THE BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS!

Titan: ........ fine.

GP: DAMMIT, NO!! THE PREP KIDS HAVE JUST LOST THE WORLD TAG TITLES BACK TO
THE BHB!!! THIS SUCKS!!!

JT: HAHAHAHAHA!!! TITAN GOT ONE PULLED OVER ON HIM!

(Titan hands over the titles to Michael Dudley.)

Michael Dudley: HA HA, YOU BIG FAT IDIOT!!!

GP: TITAN GRABS MICHAEL DUDLEY BY THE NECK!!! PUTS HIM ON THE STAIRCASE...
TITAN X-PRESS!!!!!!!

Titan: F*CK OFF!

(Titan walks off, shaking his head.)

Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners, and STILL IWO World Tag Team
Champions, by a reverse decision... the BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS!!!... and
still the IWO Intercontinental Tag Team Champs... THE PREP KIDS!!!!

GP: Dammit... the Prep Kids got screwed, plain and simple. Can the Bruisers
defend the titles without having some cheap trick up their sleeve?

JT: The Bruisers are STILL the IWO Champions Of Our World. I couldn't be
happier.

Nikki: You are such a poser, JT.

Nikki: And you're a whore!

*SLAP!*

JT: Uh... um... SHIT! I lost count!

************************
GP:HERE COME'S THE MATCH EVERYONE WANT'S TO SEE! FINALLY WE WILL HAVE A NEW
IWO WORLD CHAMP! WHO ARE YOU PREDICTIONS?

JT:Stop yelling your starting to hurt my ears...I think the only logical
winner would be Phelen Kell...it seems no matter what happens he always wins!
This guy is amazeing!

Nikki:I have to agree with you on that one Phelen Kell has gone all out!

GP:I would say it is Dane but I have my dobuts since he was injured earlier
in the night when Kell attacked him. My new prediction would have to
be...hmmm for once I don't have one. This is one match that it really could
be anyone!

Nikki:AMAZEING! For once you don't have a prediction!

JT:Yes I am as shocked as you! Let's go down to the ring for ring
introductions!

Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen the following match up is a hard core
elimination match for the IWO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! This match will contain
every single IWO superstar! Introduceing first he stands 6'7 and weighs in at
221 lbs. he is accompanied to the ring by his long time manager Jack
Daniels...he is everyone favriote drunk wrestler other then Jake Robberts
here is AL COHOLIC!

::"Got the life" by Korn begins to play as Al Coholic walks to the ring as
the crowd cheers him on. He rolls into the ring and points to the ceiling
and suddenly gallons upon gallons of beer falls from the rafters into the
crowd. The fans are going totally nuts.::

GP:Yummy beer!

JT:GREAT ENTRANCE!

Ring Announcer:Up next are the former IWO I/C tag champs the Foreign Legion!
Accompanied by the Brainiac! Here are Brother Al and the Crazy Cannuck!

::"The british and Canadian anthems mixed" begin to play as both flags fall
from the ceiling and the two enter the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Up next is the man with one of the lamest names in IWO history
here is Capital Punishment!

::Capital Punishment runs out but trips over a banana peel in the aisle.::

JT:AHAHAHAHA! WHAT A DORK!

::The crowd starts lauging at him.::

Capital Punishment:SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'LL GUT ALL YOU LITTLE WHORES!

::The crowd keeps lauging.::

Capital Punishment:THAT'S IT!

::Capital Punishment grabs a hockey mask and a chain saw.::

Capital Punishment:DIE!

::Capital Punishment jumps into the crowd and begins to cut up everyone and
anyone in his way....severed heads go flying everywhere.::

JT:WOW! He's killing people...this isn't good.

GP:No it certainly isn't.

Ring Announcer:Coming up next a man who doesn't even deserve to be in the
IWO, we all hate him, he is certainly a cum shot that should have been
swallowed...here is Chris "I suck 13 inch dick" Calhoun!

::Chris Calhoun doesn't come out.::

Ring Announcer:I said CHRIS "I SUCK 13 INCH DICK" CALHOUN!

::Doesn't come out.::

GP:OH SICK! WE HAVE A CAMERA IN THE BACK AND...OH MY GOD!

::The scene cuts over and you see Chris Calhoun bent over and you see behind
him Dave Dexter and they are...ummmm....let me think of a way to put it
nicely....haveing hot gay anal!!!!!!!::

Dexter:YEAH! WHO'S YOUR DADDY WHO'S YOUR DADDY!

Calhoun:FUCK ME HARDER! YEAH I AM YOUR BITCH! FUCK ME HARDER!

Dexter:YEAH THAT'S RIGHT CUNT!

GP:OH MY GOD!

JT:<pukeing everywhere>

Nikki:See! it's sick when two men have sex but you love to see two women have
sex!

GP:This is just wrong!

Ring Announcer:Ummmmm...introduceing next another worthless jobber here is
Chris Wyndorf!

::Chris Whyndorf walks out...he see's a hot dog stand in the crowd so he runs
over and sits down and eats.::

Ring Announcer:Coming up next...the man who makes Hogan look young
CyberCyclone!

::CyberCyclone walks into the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Introduceing now...a very GOOD wrestler....probabley the
newest GOODEST...he has a GOOD chance of winning this match...here is "the
good boy" Dan Hopkins!

::Dan Hopkins walks out. The camera pans the crowd and you see their are
some huge fans of the Good Boy. Dan Hopkins walks out and red and green fire
works shoot up he walks up and rolls into the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Up next...wait no Dave Dexter is getting ass...so up next the
man who can make really good chesse burgers Fugite.

::Fugite walks out...nothing special.::

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring now G DOG!

::Walks out nothing special.::

Ring Announcer:Up next a man with a really chessey name and an equally
chessesy gimmick here is High Flyer!

::High Flyer comes out flying in a helicopter he lands it in the center of
the ring...everyone ducks but the ref who gets....yep decapitated. The
chopper then flys off.::

JT:Dah, dah, dah...another one bites the dust...dah, dah, dah, another one
bites the dust!

Ring Announcer:Up next Havoc!

::Havoc runs to the ring and signals for Fugite.::

Fugite:What do you fucking want man?

Havoc:Wanna play me in a game of Trouble real quick?

Fugite:Trouble? No way! Let's play Sorry!

Havoc:Fine, Fine...

::The two pull the board game out from underneath the ring and they begin to
play.::

Ring Announcer:Next up...the Massosachiset...I mean the Massocistst...er the
Masochissttss...URGH! IAN KAIN!

::Ian Kain runs out to "The babby Elephant Dance".::

Ring Announcer:Jack in the box get out here...

::Jack in the Box comes out as "YMCA" by the Village people play.::

Jack in the Box:Hey come on now I ain't Dave Dexter or Chris Calhoun!

Ring Announcer:Up next straight from Mortal Kombat Jax Stone!

::That really neat Mortal Kombat theme begins to play as Stone walks out.
Stone enters the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Up next...Joey...I wish I could say his last name!

::Joey walks out as fire works shoot up and Joey enters the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Introduceing now the vampire of the IWO...everyday is
halloween in his world John McRae!

::John McRae comes out...but suddenly a group of villagers run out of the
crowd with stakes, garlic, and crosses::

Villager 1:Their is the life sucker!

Villager 2:Let's end his ville life!

McRae:FUCK!

::They chase McRae into the crowd.::

Ring Announcer:Uhhhhh...up next we have IWO's IC tag champions the Beverly
Hil...I mean the Prep Kids!

::Jordan Howitt and Randal McCloud walk out to "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"
by Offspring::

Jordan:DAMNIT!

Randal:SOMEONE IS GONNA GET AN ASS KICKING! WE'RE NOT BHB DAMNIT!

Jordan:I am gonna fuck them up next time I get the chance!

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring at this time the man who has an attitude
about as bad as Ken Shamrock's here is Justin Shack!

::Justin Shack comes out as "Buddy Holly" by Weezer begins to play. Shack
walks to the ring and slides under the first rope.::

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring now he is the only TRUE psycho here is Mad
Max!

::Mad Max doesn't come out.::

Ring Announcer:I said Mad Max!

::Still doesn't come out.::

Ring Announcer:Oh please don't tell me he is haveing anal sex too!

::Scene cuts to the back and you see Mad Max walking around dressed up as a
ghost. However, much like on the halloween special for South Park he looks
alot more like a KKK member. He is carrying a plastic pumpkin in front of
him that is overflowing with candy. Mad Max walks up to a locker room door
and knocks on it. Ruff Ryda and Thug Life answer the door.::

Max:TRICK OR TREAT!

Thug Life:Aww...ain't dat cute....HOLY SHIT! Nigga lock da door we got da KKK
afta us!

::The door slams on Max's face.::

Max:DRATS! Oh well still many more people to get candy from...the night is
young!

Ring Announcer:Oooookay...Coming out at this time he is one half of the
Outcast's THE PHREAK PAUL HANSON!

::Paul Hanson comes walking out when suddenly an anvil falls from the ceiling
on his head and drives him like a rail road spike into the ground. The
entire arena laughs.::

JT:AHAHAHAHA! I bet he wishes he had his umberella with him today!

Ring Announer:hehe...Coming to the ring now....Dane Wilt's biggest and most
loyal fan...Psycho Jay!

Psycho Jay:WHAT I'LL KILL HIM!

::Psycho Jay runs to the ring and grabs the ring announcer.::

Psycho Jay:You little peice for shit! What the fuck are you doing? I'll kill
you!

Ring Announcer:S...s...s...sorry Jay...h...h....he paid me alot of
m...m...m...m..money!

Psycho Jay:Shutup bitch!

::Jay grabs the ring announcer sits him on the top rope and superbomb to the
floor. Another Ring Announcer runs out.::

Ring Announcer:At this time I would like to introduce...TRO....THE RAGEING
ONE!

::TRO walks to the ring and rolls under the second rope.::

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring now...he's either black or thinks he's
black here is Ruff Ryda!

::Ruff Ryda comes out, but as he comes out a rival gang drives up and they
start to bust caps at each other.::

Ring Announcer:Coming up now here is Phantom (of the IWO)

::Phantom runs out through the cross fire real quick and luckely doesn't get
hit.::

Ring Announcer:Up next we have Sabbath!

::Sabbath runs through the crossfire...he then runs up to the ring and jumps
in.::

Ring Announcer:Coming out next...the man who is about the size of one of my
bowel movements here is The Shrimp Samuel Potright!

::The Shrimp comes out and runs through the cross fire quick. He then looks
at his tag team partner underneath an anvil and laughs. The Shrimp then runs
and slides underneath the first rope of the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Up next another of the IWO's brothas here is Thug Life!

::Thug Life runs out with his 9 and begins to cap away at the rival gang with
Ruff Ryda.::

Ring Announcer:Up next the wrestler who has probabley the most common name in
any fed here is Shadow!

::Shadow runs through the crossfire and is about to go to the ring...then he
grabs his stomach runs back through the cross fire and to the back. You see
him running grabbing his stomach. He finally runs into the mens bathroom and
you here a HUGE explosion.::

Shadow:Awwwwww...YEAH! Remind me never to eat those 20 bean barritos before a
PPV again!

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring now Shane "If I would die the entire IWO
would laugh because I suck a whole hell of alot" Andrews!

::Shane Andrews walks to the ring.::

Ring Announcer:Out now the man who has sucked on more nads then Dave Dexter
and Chris Calhoun combined here is Tony Davis!

::Tony Davis runs out to the ring and rolls inside.::

Ring Announcer:Out now Tyler Johnson!

::Tyler Johnson runs out with his gun and begins to fire at his old tag team
partner Ruff Ryda.::

Ring Announcer:Coming to the ring at this time...he is the one that strikes
fear into the hearts of everyone in the IWO. He claims that he will be the
winner of this match. He represents everything that is evil in todays
soceity. He is a really big fan of little Debby snack cakes here is Zombie!

::Zombie comes out with duel rocket launchers he turns and blows the rival
gangs car away and sends Tyler Johnson flying. Ruff Ryda and Thug Life
cheer, then Zombie turns and sends them flying too. Zombie then runs into
the ring as the crowd boos him wildley.::

Ring Announcer:Introduceing at this point...he is the LEGEND of the IWO...he
is the founding father of Hostile Youth...the man who is a two time tag team
champion and also a two time world heavy weight champion. He likes
pretzels...here is Phelen Kell!

::"Fucking Hostile" by Pantera plays asPhelen Kell walks out to the cheers of
the crowd. Kell walks calmley to the ring and rolls under the second rope.
Kell then goes to each cornor and raises his arms in victory. Kell jumps
down and stares at the entrance way waiting for Dane Wilt.::

Ring Announcer:And our final praticipants here tonight...they claim to be the
richest men in the world today. They are known and hated world wide. First
from parts unknown the self-proclaimed "New Extreme Icon" Chrome Thunder!
Followed by from Beverly Hills California the current IWO Tag Team Champions
here is Brian Dudley and Michael Dudley the Beverly Hills Bruisers! And
introduceing lastley he is from the mean streets of Hollywood California he
is a former IWO tag team champion and a former North American champion the
man who claims he made Phelen Kell...the man who claims he IS Phelen Kell
here is "Genetic Perfection" Dane Wilt!!!!

::"Money" by KMFDM begins to play. Fake hundred Dollar Bills with Dane
Wilt's face on them fall from the ceiling. Chrome Thunder walks out with
bandages on from his extreme match earlier on in the night. The Beverly
Hills Bruisers walk out with Carren Dudley. And Brian Dudley has a mic.::

Brian:Hey Kell...I hope your happy! You injured Dane Wilt earlier on in the
night! <crowd goes nuts> It's not funny! Dane could be seriously hurt and all
you jack asses wanna do is laugh?!?! Well Kell guess what I plan on winning
this little gig tonight in honor of Dane Wilt...so Kell get ready this is the
night you LOSE at a PPV!

::The Billion Dollar Promotion runs out to the ring all except Dane Wilt who
is injured.::

(Titan says Dane Wilt has to be in the match so he will be.)

***BAD SATELLITE FEED***
PART 1 OF THE RUMBLE WAS CUT OUT BECAUSE OF A DAMN SATELLITE.
***********************************

*DING DING*

GP- Well ladies and gentlemen, we are back and all I can say is, WHAT A DAMN MATCH!!!

JT- You said it man, I have seen pay pver views shorter than the first part of our main event!!!

Nikki- IWO RULES!!!!

GP- OH HELL YEAH!!!!!! Lets go to the ring

*Ring*

Meygon- Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed the first part of what is surely, the greatest match in IWO history!!!! Some men are gone, and as they say, "Only the strong survive!!!" Standing in the ring, are 31 of the toughest SOBs the IWO has ever seen!!! Here they are, in alphabetical order

Nikki- These 31 men may be the best wrestlers ever!!

JT- DIDDO

Meygon- Al Coholic, Brian Dudley, Brother Al, Capital Punishment, Chris Calhoun, Chrome Thunder, Dan Hopkins, Dane Wilt, G-Dogg, High Flyer, Havoc, Ian Kain, Jack in the Box, Jax Stone, Joey Rappoport, John McRae, Jordan Howitt, Justin Shack, Mad Max, Michael Dudley, Phantom (of the IWO), Phelen Kell, Psycho Jay, Raging One, Randal McCloud, Ruff Ryda, Sabbath, Samuel Potright, Shadow, Tyler Johnson, and Zombie!!!!!

Nikki- That was a mouthful!!!

JT- So is my d*ck!!!

*SMACK*

GP- HAHA!!!!

*DING DING DING*

Nikki- HERE WE GO!!!

GP- All 31 men sprint to the center and start brawling!!! MY GOD!!! Its like a dogpile in there!!!

JT- Speaking of dogs, Nikki how are you today??

*SMACK*

GP- Security has come out to try to get some air in there!!! Wait!!! Rappoport, Thunder, Raging One, Brother Al, Calhoun, High Flyer, Kell, and Ruff Ryda just went flying out of the ring to the floor!!!!

*Outside*

JT- MORE BLOOD!

GP- That huge group begins brawling!!!! Thunder is on Kell, High Flyer is on Rapps, Al is on TRO, Calhoun is on Ruff!!!!! This is chaos!!!!!

Nikki- This is sick!!!

JT- Damn right!!

GP- And there are still 23 men in the ring!!!!!

*Ring*

GP-Michael and Brian are double teaming Jax Stone!!! They nail a spike piledriver!!!

1....

2...

NO!!!

GP- Cappy and Shack make the save!!!! What the hell??? Shack and Cappy are now attacking eachother!!!! Zombie just nailed Tyler Johnson with the Zombieplex!!!

1...

2...

NO!!

GP- Sabbath with the save!!!

GP- How is that nice little brawl on the outside doing???

*Outside*

GP- WHAT THE????? WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GO????

JT- Jesus!!!! That huge pack of wrestlers are gone!!!

Nikki- While you two were drooling about the action in the ring..... you failed to see the men brawling to the back!!!

GP- Lets get a damn camera back there!!!

*Back of Arena*

JT- There we go!!!

GP- Chrome and Rapps are double teaming Kell!!!

Nikki- Trying to get the former champ out early!!!

GP- WAIT!!!!!! Calhoun has a chair!!!!

*SMACK*

GP- Down goes TRO and Ruff Ryda!!!!

*SMACK*

GP- There goes Al and High Flyer!!!!

JT- YAHHOOOOO!!!!

GP- Wait!!! Chrome grabs Calhoun, Rapps is going for the Kamikaze Kick!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Cahloun moved!!! Chrome gets nailed with the Kamikaze kick!!!! Cover by Calhoun!!!!

1.....

2.....

NO!!!!

GP- Rapps breaks the count!!! He grabs Calhoun, DDT!!!

Nikki- These men are sick!!!

GP- Lets see what is going on in the ring!!

*Ring*

GP- Well, as with the back, its total chaos in the ring!!!! Watch OUT!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! Jax Stone, Coholic, Cappy, G-Dogg, Havoc, and Potright just got tossed from the ring through the Spanish Announce table!!!!!!! All 6 men are lying in a pile of rubbish!!

JT- Santo De la Mierda!!!!!!

Nikki- And what does that mean???

JT- Ask yourself if you really want to know that!

Nikki- Good point!!

GP- So now we have wrestlers all over the place!!! In the back are Chrome, Brother Al, Calhoun, High Flyer, Rapps, Kell, TRO, and Ruff. Lying in a pile of Spanish announce table rubbish are Al Coholic, Cappy, G-Dogg, Havoc, Jax Stone, and Potright!!! Everyone else is in the ring kicking eachothers ass!!!

JT- I have an idea!!!

Nikki- Does anyone care???

JT- We should split up, that way we can just report from where ever we are!!

GP- OH MY GOD.......... JT, that is the first good idea you have ever had!!!

JT- Everyone has one and one time or another!!

Nikki- Lets go.

GP- I will stay at the ring, JT, you go in the back, and Nikki, you cover the rubbish pile!!!

JT- Will do!!

Nikki- Cool!!

(they go to their respective places and GP begins to speak)

GP- Finally, some peace and quiet!!!

GP- Well, lets see what is going on in the ring!!! It seems the Shack and Dane have just double clotheslined eachother and both men are down. Brian and Michael Dudley have headed to the back to join that bunch of psychos!! Hopkins, Kain, and Jack in the Box are brawling in the corner!!! McRae is lying in a pool of blood, my sources tell me that Max introduced him to a kendo stick!!!! Howitt just DDTd the crap out of Phantom!!!

1....

2...

NO!!

GP- Psycho Jay nailed Howitt with a leg drop!!! WAIT!!!! I am getting word that something big is happening back by JT!!!

*Back of arena*

JT- OH MY GOD!!!! Rapps just nailed Phelan with the Kamikaze Kick and got a two count when out of no where, Sabbath came from the ring with a pane of glass and smash it right over Rapps head!!!!! Rapps's head is busted WIDE open!!! OH MY GOD!!!! Chrome ran at Sabbath and got stabbed with a piece of that glass by TRO!!!! Chrome's arm is sliced!!!! He is screaming in pain!!! Wait, High Flyer grabs Chrome!!! POWERBOMB through a table!!!!! Chrome is a bloody mess!!! He is almost out!!! High Flyer isn't covering!!! What the hell!!! WAIT!!!!! Its the Beverly Hills Bruisers!!! They are in the back!!! They have 2X4s!!!!

*SMACK*

JT- There goes Brother Al and High Flyer!!!

*SMACK*

JT- Good night Calhoun!!!!

*SMACK SMACK SMACK*

JT- Bye bye Rapps, Kell, and Ryda!!!

JT- WAIT, TRO from behind!!! He has a flaming towel!!! OH MY GOD!!! He is going to throw the towel at the BHB, WAIT!!!! Chrome is up!!!! He grabs the towel and shoves it into TRO's face!!!! He is seering TRO's face!!! He spins TRO around, DDT!!!!

1....

2....

NO!!! NO!!

JT- TRO kicked out and is being mugged by BHB and Chrome!!! Everyone else is lying on the ground after those chair shots!!

JT- WAIT!!! I am getting word that something big is happening over by Nikki!!!

*Spanish anounce table*

Nikki- GOOD LORD!!! The men have finally gotten up!!! Its not pretty!!! Every single man is bleeding from somewhere!!!! Some from the face, the arms, the legs, even the chest!! WAIT!!! Coholic grabs G-Dogg!!!! HAPPY HOUR!!! AL NAILED THE HAPPY HOUR!!!

1...

2....

3no!!!

Nikki- OH MY GOD!!!! Potright and Havoc just broke the count with dual planchas from the top to the floor!!! These men are truly insane!!! Whats that???? GP says that something huge just happened!!!

*Ring*

GP- GOOD LORD!!! Tyler Johnson went for a hurranacannrana and got caught and powerbombed by Shadow!!!!

1....

2....

3!!NO!!

GP- NO NO NO!!!! Max splashed onto both men at the last possible second!!! Well, not too much going on here, lets send it back to......... WAIT!!!! Dane Wilt just nailed the Facelift on Kain!!!! Kain got knocked right into the waiting arms of Zombie!!! WAIT!!!! Zombieplex!!!!!! Zombie hit the Zombieplex on the former North American Champion!! He covers!!!

1...

2...

3!!!!!!!

GP- Kain is out!!! Ian Kain has been eliminated!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain

GP- WHAT?? I am getting word that some unusual weapons are being used over by JT!!!

*back of arena*

JT- OH MY LORD!!!! High Flyer somehow found a barbwire bat and smashed Sabbath smack dab in the mouth!!! Sabbath's mouth is busted WIDE open!!!! He is screaming in pain!!! Rapps grabs Chrome, he has him up!!! Tiger Driver onto a garbage can!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! Chrome has got to be dead!!!

1....

2....

3NO!!!!

JT- Brian Dudley breaks the count!! I never would have guessed that Ian Kain would have been eli.......... OH MY GOD!!!! Phelan Kell just threw Michael Dudley right throught a door!!!! The door just ripped right off its hinges!!! Phelan is going after Michael, WAIT, from behind!!!! Its Justin Shack!! Shack has a lead pipe!!!!

*WHACK*

JT- WOW!!! Shack just slammed the pipe into the left knee of Phelan Kell!!! Phelan is down!!! From behind!!! Brother Al rolls up Shack

1.....

2.....

NO!!!

JT- Shack kicks out!!! Nikki is telling me that more blood is being shed by her, I gotta see this!!!

*Spanish table*

Nikki- Well guys, it seems as these men could not fight in the arena anymore, so they decided to take the fight outside!!!! To recap, fighting in my area are Al Coholic, Cappy, G-Dogg, Jax Stone, Randal McCloud, and Potright, and joining us are Shadow and Dan Hopkins!!! This is wild!!!

Nikki- Jax, G-Dogg, and McCloud are fighting on top of a BMW!!!!!! Jax nails the Elimination on McCloud!! OH MY GOD!!!! The hood caved in on impact!!!! They just ruined a brand new BMW!!! Jax covers!!!

1....

2... NO!!

Nikki- OH MY LORD!!!!! Cappy just jumped off the roof a Ford Explorer onto Stone!!!! Porting just inverted DDTd G-Dogg on the cold, hard concrete!!! G- Dogg is really bleeding now!!! I am getting word that GP has some action going on at the ring!!

*Ring*

GP- It almost seems that Tyler Johnson and Jack have formed a partnership!!!! They have Zombie up!!! WAIT!!!! From the back, here comes Chris Calhoun!!! He has a chair!!!! He swings at Zombie but Zombie ducks and nails the Zombieplex!!!!!! He covers, but Dane runs over and whips Zombie out of the ring!!!! Dane grabs the limp Calhoun, FACELIFT!!!!! He hit the Facelift on Chris Calhoun!!!! He covers!!!

1....

2....

3!!!!!

GP- Its over!!! Calhoun is gone and Max has jumped Dane!!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun>

GP- Two down, and five to go!!! JESUS!!! Look at Max, he is beating the living hell out of Dane Wilt!!! WAIT!! McCrae grabs Max!!!! Sidewalk slam!!! Down goes Max!!!! Jordan Howitt grabs Dane, backbreaker!!! Dane is really hurting. Zombie grabs Johnson!!! He is going for the Zombieplex, but Johnson with a small package!!!!

1...

2....

3!NO!!!!

GP- NO, NO!!! Zombie kicked out at the last second!!! I am getting word that something UNBELIEAVBLE is happening over by JT!!!

*Back of the arena*

JT- OH MY LORD, GOD, JESUS!!!! EVERY SINGLE MAN IN THIS MATCH IS INSANE!!!!! THEY HAVE NOW ALL CLIMBED UP TO THE RAFTERS OF THE SALEM CIVIC CENTER!!!!! TRO, Chrome, BHBs, Brother Al, High Flyer, Rapps, Shack, Kell, Ruff Ryda, and Sabbath are all battling way the hell up in the rafters!!! I gotta get up there!!!

(JT slowly climbs a ladder and finally reaches the top)

JT- God DAMN!!! These men have to be nuts!!! I am getting sick just looking at how high up we are!!! LOOK OUT!!!! Chrome just dropkicked High Flyer and he just about hell off the damn rafter!! Chrome goes for a kick, but Flyer catches him, DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP!!!! These damn rafters are gonna break!!! Rapps grabs Ruff Ryda, inverted DDT!!! WAIT!!! The BHB have TRO, spike powerbomb!!! AHHHHHHH The DAMN RAFTERS ARE SHAKING!!! Sabbath goes a a superkick but Kell ducks and nails a low blow and DDT!!!! WAIT.... something big is happening outside!!!

*outside*

Nikki- Well guys, all I can say, is that this is the MOST HARDCORE match that you have ever seen!! While you were gone, Al and Cappy double clotheslined eachother and they both did a full flip and landed on the pavement!!! They are both down! G-Dogg grabs Potright, piledriver on the concrete!!!!!

1.....

2.....

NO!!!

Nikki- Shabow elbow drops G-Dogg!!! That was close!!! What the hell??? McCloud went back into the arena and has brought out a table!!! He grabs Jax Stone, Spine buster on the concrete!!!! MY GOD!!!! Jax Stone's head just bounced off the damn concrete!! He is hurt!!! McCloud puts Jax on the table!!! WHAT THE, OH MY GOD!!!!!! McCloud is on top of a conversion van!!!! NO, NO, JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! Randal McCloud went for a frog splash off the roof of the van on to the table, but Jax moved!!!!!! McCloud went straight through that table to the cement!!!! He is busted open and bleeding everywhere!!! Jax grabs him, ELIMINATION!!!!!! Jax hit the Elimination on McCloud!!!

1....

2...

3!!!!!

Nikki- Randal McCloud is out!!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun, Randal McCloud>

Nikki- This is the bloodiest thing I have ever seen!!! Coholic and Cappy are both lying on the concrete with huge gashes on their foreheads!!!! G-Dogg has a large scrape on his elbow that is bleeding!!!! Jax Stone must have had some of the table debree hit him because he is bleeding from the ear!!! Potright may have internal bleeding! His mouth is full of blood!!! This is disgusting!! They are telling me to send it to GP!!!

*Ring*

GP- This is the craziest thing I have ever witnessed!!!!! There are bodies and blood all over the damn ring!!! Zombie and Phantom knocked eachother senseless, Dane Wilt is beating the living crap out of Jordan Howitt, Mad Max and Jack in the Box are duking it out, and Tyler Johnson just nailed McCrae with a Asai moonsault!!!!

1....

2....

GP- LOOKOUT!!!!!! Dane Wilt grabs Johnson and nails the Facelift!!!!! He covers, but McCrae is up, he grabs Dane!!!! Death Valley Driver!!!

1.....

2....

3!!NO!!!!

GP- Jack in the Box just nailed a flying elbow drop on Johnson. OH MY GOD!!!! Look at the power!!!! Jack has Tyler up in a guerilla press!!! JESUS CHRIST!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! Jack just tossed Johnson out of the ring and through a table!!!! My god!!! The table is completly destroyed and Johnson is lying motionless!!!! Jack is sick!!!! WAIT!!!!!!!!! Phantom is up!!! He grabs Jack and goes for a powerbomb, but Jack reverses into a hurracanranna, he has Phantom hooked!!

1....

2...

GP- LOOKOUT!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

GP- Jack had Phantom's legs hooked and Mad Max just smashed Jack right in the face with a chair!!!! He couldn't protect himself because he was holding on to Phantom's legs!!! Jack falls, limply to the mat and Phantom covers!!!!

1......

2.......

3!!!!!!!!

GP- THATS IT!!! Jack in the Box has been eliminated!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun, Randal McCloud, and Jack in the Box>

GP- That is a big upset in my opinion!!! WAIT, I am getting word that we should turn it over to JT!!

*Rafters*

JT- MY GOD!!!! This has to be the sickest...... and BEST damn match I have ever seen!!! We are a good 25 feet above the crowd and its a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way down!!!! Chrome Thunder has Sabbath, fisherman's buster!! UH OH!!! We are starting to shake again!!! I need to get on some level ground!!

(JT quickly runs over to an empty scaffold)

JT- I just have a feeling that those rafters are going to break!!! TRO has Phelan Kell!!! Piledriver on Kell!!!!

1...

2..

NO!!

JT- Rapps makes the save and grabs TRO, he goes for the Kamikaze Kick, but TRO ducks and nails a faceslam on Rapps!!! Ruff Ryda just nailed Justin Shack with a tombstone piledriver!!!

1.....

2...

3!!!!NO!!!NO!!

JT- NO, NO!!! Shack got the left shoulder up at the last second!! My GOD!!! WAIT!!!! What the hell???? Its, its, its ZOMBIE!!!!!!!! He came from the ring!!! He is in the rafters!!! He has a chair,

*SMACK*

JT- Good night Phelan!!!

*SMACK, SMACK*

JT- Later Sabbath, bye bye TRO!!!

*SMACK*

JT- I hope nobody needs Brian Dudley for awhile cuz he is out!!!! Zombie goes to hit Chrome, but Chrome ducks and sweeps Zombie's leg!!!! Zombie drops the chair and Chrome grabs it!!! He turns around, TRO is getting up!!! Chrome slams TRO's back with the chair!!! He sets the chair on the ground!!!! He is signaling for something!!! WAIT, this might be his new finishing move!!!!! IT IS!!!!! He hits TRO with the Rain DROP(fisherman's ddt) on the chair!!!!!!!!!! He covers!!!!

1.......

2......

3!!!!!!!

JT- Thats it!!!! The Raging One has been eliminated!!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun, Randal McCloud, Jack in the Box, and The Raging One>

JT- WHAT A MATCH!!!! WAIT, I just recieved a message saying that there will be two more eliminations before the break!!!!! I wonder who it will be???? Lets go to Nikki!!

*Outside*

Nikki- IT World War 3 out here!!! Everyone is barely able to stand!!!! Look, Cappy just nailed Jax Stone with a powerbomb through the cloth roof of a Jeep!!! My GOD!!! WAIT!!!! LOOK OVER THERE!!!! COMING FROM THE BACK, ITS MICHAEL DUDLEY!!!! HE HAS A GARBAGE CAN FULL OF WEAPONS!!! He grabs a nightstick!!! He smashes G-Dogg right in the face!!! WAIT, Potright has a kendo stick!!!

*CRACK*

JT- OOOOOO, Thats gotta hurt!!! Dudley just caught a forehead full of kendo stick!!!! G-Dogg covers!!!'

1......

2.....

3!!!!NOOOO!

Nikki- NO, NO, Havoc just nailed G-Dogg with a bat!!! He covers G-Dogg!!!

1....

2....

NO!!!

Nikki- Dan Hopkins just grabbed Havoc and nailed a DDT on a chair!!!! He isn't covering him!!! This could be a mistake , he goes over to the garbage can, OH MY GOD!!!!! Psycho Jay!!!! Psycho Jay is in the garage can!!!! He must have gotten in it while we were watching G-Dogg's pin attempt!!!!! Jay grabs Hopkins!!! Chokeslam onto the concrete!!!!!

1......

2...

3!!!! NO, NO, NO!!!

Nikki- Hopkins somehow, someway, got the shoulder up!!!! He must REALLY want that title!!!! Pyscho Jay grabs a reel of barbwire!!! He grabs Shadow from behind!!! OH MY GOD!!!! He is raking that barbwire on Shadow's nose!!!! Shadow's nose is completly sliced!!! He is screaming in pain!!! WAIT!!! From behind, Al Coholic, grabs Jay!!!! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!!!!!

1.....

2.....

NO!!

Nikki- Jax Stone smashes Al with a whiskey bottle!!!! Well, at least Al has his favorite beverage!!!! WAIT, something big is happening by GP!

*Ring*

GP- ......off the ropes!!! Mad Max nails a spinning heel kick on John McRae!!! Tyler Johnson is just now getting back into the ring after that viscous gureilla press slam through the table!!! WAIT, WHAT THE HELL!!!!! Look up there!!!! Its the Fan Man!!!! The guys who parachutes in on major sporting events!!!! He is slowly floating down to the ring!!! He lands in the ring and all of the wrestlers stop and stare at him!!! WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!! That is Phelan Kell!!!!!! Kell grabs Tyler Johnson!!! German suplex with a bridge!!!!

1.....

2....

3!!!!!!

GP- YES, YES!!!! Phelan Kell dressed as the Fan Man eliminates Tyler Johnson!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun, Randal McCloud, Jack in the Box, The Raging One, and Tyler Johnson>

GP- As soon as one more man gets pinned, they will have the 5 minute break!!! Whose it gonna be!?!?!? Mad Max grabs Dane!!! He hits a t-bone suplex!!!! He grabs Dane for another but Dane blocks it!!! FACELIFT, FACELIFT!!!!!! DANE NAILED MAD MAX WITH THE FACELIFT!!!!!

1...

2....

3!no!!!!!

GP- NO NO NO!!!! PHANTOM NAILED DANE TO STOP THE COUNT!!! Phantom grabs Dane and whips him out of the ring!!! Howitt just nailed a topŔ con hilo on McRae who is on the outside!!!! Everyone in the ring or outside it, is down!!! WAIT, it seems the something is going on, high above the ring!!!

*Rafters*

JT- ......are you kidding me!!!! Brian Dudley just got a Diamond Cutter from Ruff Ryda!!!!!

1....

2....

NO!!

JT- Chrome elbows Ryda to stop the count!!! Wait, from behind!!! Zombie grabs Chrome, ZOMBIEPLEX!!!!! ZOMBIE HIT THE ZOMBIEPLEX!!!!!

1....

2....

3!!NO!!!

JT- NO, NO, NO!!!! CHROME KICKED OUT OF THE ZOMBIEPLEX!!! ZOMBIE IS SHOCKED!!!! From behind, Sabbath grabs Zombie, dragon suplex with a bridge!!!!

1....

2....

NO!!!

JT- Brother Al pulled Sabbath off!!! High Flyer grabs Al!!! Hurrancannranna!

1....

2...

3!!NO!!

JT- Al somehow escaped the hurrcanranna!!!! Wait!! I am getting a message that something huge is happening with both GP and Nikki!!!!

(it goes to a three way split screen)

GP- Look at this!!!!! Mad Max hits a seated chokeslam on Howitt!!!!

Nikki- OH MY GOD!!! Jax Stone nails the Elimination on Cappy!!!!

JT- GOOD LORD!!!! High Flyer with a seated spinebuster on Brother Al!!!!!

(all three at the same time)1....

2....

3!!!!!!

GP- Howitt is out!!

Nikki- Cappy is out!!!

JT- Al is out!!! What the hell!!! Only one man can be eliminated!!!! Who is out??

Nikki- Yeah!!! Who is it!!

GP- Lets go to the replay!!!

(replay shows that Al was pinned a split second before the others)

JT- Brother Al has been eliminated!!!!!!! Al is out!!! Howitt and Cappy are still in!!!

<Eliminated- Ian Kain, Chris Calhoun, Randal McCloud, Jack in the Box, The Raging One, Tyler Johnson, and Brother Al>

*DING, DING, DING*

GP- There is the bell for the five minute break!!!!! This match isn't even half over yet!!! Can you believe it???

JT- Not me!!!

Nikki- Me neither!!!

(camera shifts around and shows all of the remaining wrestlers getting treatment for injuries and getting water and resting)

{5 minutes later}

*DING, DING, DING*

(the annoncers have returned to their booth)

GP- This is the match of all matches!!!

Nikki- Got that right!!!

JT- Unbelievable!!!

GP- All of the wrestlers are back in the ring and we are ready to start again!!


GP- Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. This is, without a doubt, they greatest match I have ever seen!!! We started with the whole IWO roster, and now, we are down to just 25 of the greatest wrestlers in the history of wrestling. These 25 men are going after one thing, that is, the IWO world title!! I belie......

JT- YAHOOOO!!!!!

GP- Damnit JT, I was in the middle of an emotional speech!!!

Nikki- JT, you are a jerk

JT- And you are a skank!!

*SMACK*

GP- Now as I was saying, this match will forever be remebered as the greatest match!!! The 25 men are standing in the ring, lets go to Meygon

*RING*

Meygon- Ladies and gentlemen, we had over 50 wrestlers just a short time ago, now we are down to 25!!!! They are, in alphabetical order

Al Coholic

Brian Dudley

Capital Punishment

Chrome Thunder

Dan Hopkins

Dane Wilt

G-Dogg

High Flyer

Havoc

Jax Stone

Joey Rappoport

John McRae

Jordan Howitt

Justin Shack

Mad Max

Michael Dudley

Phantom

Phelan Kell

Psycho Jay

Ruff Ryda

Sabbath

Samuel Potright

Shadow

and Zombie

Meygon- These 25 men, in my opinion, are the best damn wrestlers in the world, and they are competing injured, battered, and bloodied, all for one thing, the IWO World Title!!!!

(crowd cheers)

*DING DING DING*

Nikki- Here we go!!!!

GP- All of the men just start punching whoever is next to them!!!

JT- I can't wait to see all of the blood in this one!!!!

Nikki- I can't wait to see you leave!!!

JT- (muttering) bitch

*SMACK*

GP- Wait, look at that!!!! The Dudleys, G-Dogg, John McRae, Joey Rapps, Phelan, Jordan Howitt and Sabbath just got sent flying over the top rope!!! They are brawling on the floor!!! GOOD LORD!!! Over there!! Chrome Thunder, Al, High Flyer, Ruff Ryda, Shadow and Zombie just got tossed out on the other side of the ring!!! There are bodies all over the place!!!

JT- Just the way it should be!!!

Nikki- You are so gross!!!

JT- Look whose talking!!!

*SMACK*

GP- Cappy, Hopkins, Dane Wilt, Havoc, Jax Stone, Shack, Max, Phantom, Psycho Jay, and Potright are left in the ring!!! They are all brawling with eachother!!

GP- OK, it was a lot easier when we each covered one section so who wants to go where!!!

JT- I will go with the Phelan's group!!

Nikki- I will go with Chrome Thunder's people!

GP- I will stay at the ring then!

(JT and Nikki leave the booth and go to their respective areas)

GP- In the ring are some of the craziest wrestlers I have ever seen!!! Mad Max, Justin Shack, and Dane Wilt to name a few!!

GP- Shack and Wilt are trading punches!! Max and Cappy are duking it out and Jay is beating on Potright!!!

GP- Personally, I don't think Potright should be here!! He is too inexpirienced for this type of wrestling

GP- Look at that!!!! Shack grabs Dane, and goes for a powerbomb but Dane reverses into a hurracanranna!!!!

1..

2..

NO!!

GP- Cappy clotheslines Dane from behind!!! Wait, Jax and Hopkins are brawling, Hopkins grabs Jax, flatliner!!!!

1...

2..

NO!!

GP- Jax kicks out!!!

GP- These men have to be drained!!! They have been fighting for nearly an hour!!! Jay grabs Potright, he goes for powerbomb, but Potright rolls through into a sunset flip!!!

1...

2...

3!!!NO!!

GP- WOW, Max just nailed Potright in time on that one, WAIT!!!! Look!!! Its Phantom!! He has a shopping cart full of weapons!!!! We forgot about him!! He grabs a bat!!! He runs in!! He nails Cappy in the knee and he goes flying down to the canvas in pain!! He slams Potright in the back of the head!!! OH MY GOD!! He smashes Max in the head and the bat breaks in half and Max is laughing!!! He is laughing for Christ's sake!!! Max is in human!! He grabs Phantom, tiger bomb!!! Good Lord!!!! He covers, but wait!!! Havoc has grabbed a chair out of the shopping cart!!!

1....

2...

*SMACK*

GP- MY LORD!!!! Havoc just cracked Max in the skull!!! This time, Max isn't laughing!!!!! Havoc covers!!!!

1....

2..

3!!! NO!

GP- NO, NO!!! Max got the shoulder up at the LAST....... POSSIBLE......... SECOND!!! WHAT A DAMN MATCH!!! This is unbelievable!!!!

GP- Wait!!! Hopkins grabs some sort of stick and a small bottle out of the cart!! What the hell is that??? WAIT!!! He is lighting the stick, OH MY GOD!!!!! He drinks whatever the hell is in the bottle and he just blew fire on to Jay!!!! My GOD!!! Jay is screaming out in agony!!! Hopkins grabs Jay, seated powerbomb!!!!

1....

2...

NO!!!

GP- Dane came off the rope with a seated dropkick right to the face of Hopkins!!! Hopkins is grabbing his nose!!! JESUS!!!!! Hopkins nose is broken!!! Blood is pouring from it!! Its like a damn faucet!! Medics are rushing down to the ring to help Hopkins!!! WAIT!!!! Hopkins grabs a medic, jackhammer!!!! He grabs another, German release suplex!!!! Hopkins won't let them fix his nose!! Wait, my sources tell me that something is going on out by Nikki!!

*Outside*

Nikki- Well, unless you are blind, you are noticing that we are again outside the Salem Civic Center, only this time, they aren't just staying in the parking lot!!! As you can see Chrome Thunder, Al, High Flyer, Ruff Ryda, Shadow and Zombie are all beating the living crap out of eachother out here!!! Look over there!! Chrome is picking up High Flyer, he hits the Rain DROP!!!! He laid out High Flyer with the Rain Drop!!!! My GOD!!! He covers!!!!

1.....

2....

3!!NO!!

Nikki- Al breaks the count!!! These men are starting to fight and move! My god!!! We are moving closer to the street!!! Oh NO!!! These six men are crossing the damn street!!! They are fighting in the middle of the street!!!! WAIT!!!!! Where the hell is Zombie???? Zombie is missing!!!! There are only five men here!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! A truck is coming!!! WHAT THE HELL?? Chrome grabs Shadow and throws him in front of the truck!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANK GOD!!! Shadow somehow rolled out of the way!!! Chrome is dimented!!!

Nikki- Well, we have finally crossed the street!! Thank god no one is injured!!!! WAIT!!!!! SOMEONE is coming!!!! ITS G- Dogg!!!! G-Dogg has come over!!!! He is attcking High Flyer!!!! He grabs Flyer, inverted DDT!!!!!

1....

2....

NO!!!

Nikki- Ruff Ryda grabs G-Dogg!!! Piledriver!!!!! He hit a piledriver on the concrete!!! GOOD LORD!!! OH NO, look where we are headed!!!!!

(the camera shifts to a sign saying Salem YMCA)

Nikki- MY GOD!!!! WAIT!!!!! Chrome grabs Shadow!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! He just threw Shadow through the glass, front door of the YMCA!!! MY lord!! Shadow is bleeding profusily!!! They are all inside the damn YMCA!!!! They are nuts!!! WAIT, I am getting word that something is happening over by JT...

*Outside*

JT- WHOOOOOO!!!! Look at this!!! These men have left the parking lot and are on I 45!!!! They are heading out of Salem!!! And they are brawling all the way on this side of the highway!!! Look!!! Kell has McRae!!! powerbomb into a ditch!!!! JESUS!!! Kell is insane!!! McRae isn't moving!! Wait, from behind!!! Rapps grabs Kell!!! Kamakaze Kick!!!! My GOD!!! The kick send Phelan flying into the ditch!!! Phelan is out!!!! WAIT!!! McRae is moving!!! He drapes his arm across Phelan!!!!

1.....

2....

3!!!

JT- He did it!! NO, NO, NO!!!!!

JT- The ref is saying that Phelan got up at 2 7/8!!! Phelan JUST barely escaped defeat!!! Look over there!!!! My god!!! THE HELL'S ANGELS!!! THEY ARE COMING DOWN THE ROAD!!!! LOOK OUT!!! THE BHB HAVE SABBATH!!!! JESUS H CHRIST!!!! THEY JUST THREW SABBATH IN FRONT OF THE HELLS ANGELS!!!! They all come to a screaching halt!!! WAIT, there leader is standing up!!! He is huge!! He has all black leather on and a black helmet with a black visor!!! We can't see his face. He walks over to Sabbath and extends his hand!! He helps Sabbath up!! They are shaking hands, WAIT!!!! He removes his helmet!!!!!!! ITS ZOMBIE!!! ITS ZOMBIE!!!!! ITS ZOMBIE!!!!!! ZOMBIE GRABS SABBATH!!!! ZOMBIEPLEX ON THE CONCRETE!!!!!!

1.....

2.....

3!!!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath>

JT- OH MY GOD!!!! ZOMBIE ESCAPED FROM CHROME'S GROUP AND SOMEHOW HOOKED UP WITH THE HELL'S ANGELS!!!!! Wait!!!! The BHB attack Zombie!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! The Angels are getting of their bikes!!! They start to brawl with the men from the IWO!!!!! Its complete chaos out here!!! WAIT!!! Someone is telling me that weird stuff is happening over by GP!!!

*Ring*

GP-MY LORD!!!! They are still grabing weapons out of that shopping cart!!! Jax has a bat and Max has a chair!!! The run at eachother!!!!

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

GP- MY GOD!!!! They just laid eachother out!! Both men are unconscious on the mat!!!! Wait, Dane has an ice sicle!!! OH MY GOD!!!! He is jamming it into Cappy's eye!!! CAPPY IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!!!! DANE IS LAUGHING WHILE JAMMING THE SICLE FARTHER INTO THE EYE SOCKET OF CAPPY!!! DANE IS INSANE!!! WAIT!!! Psycho Jay has some........................ puddy it looks like??? Ladies and gentlemen, I have no idea what the hell Jay has, wait he has some wires or something?? O...................................................MY.................................................GOD!!!!!!!! That is C-4!!!! Jay has a bomb!!!!!! Good lord!!!! He whips it into the ring!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP- NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!!! PSYCHO JAY JUST THREW A SMALL PIECE OF C-4 EXPLOSIVE INTO THE RING AND DETONATED IT!!!! EVERY MAN IN THAT RING IS DOWN AND IN PAIN!!! THERE IS A LARGE BLACK SPOT IN THE RING!! ALL THE MEN ARE DOWNA AND JAY IS LAUGHING!!!! HE IS COMPLETLY NUTS!!!! Now they are telling me to switch over to Nikki!

*YMCA*

Nikki- MY LORD!!! Jay is nuts!!! Although, these men right here aren't too sane either!!! They have split up now all around the YMCA!!! And while we were gone it seems that Phantom and Justin Shack have made their way over by us!!! As you can see, Chrome, Shack, and Al are fighting in the weight room!!!

*Weight Room*

Nikki- Al grabs Chrome, HAPPY HOUR through the weight bench!!!! GOOD GOD!!! Chrome is busted open!!!

1.....

2.....

NO!!!

Nikki- Shack grabs AL!!!!! Shacked 4 Life onto a barbell!!!!! AL is busted!!!!!!!

1.....

2....

NO!!

Nikki- Chrome is up!!! He grabs Shack, Rain DROP onto a 40lb plate!! All three men are bleeding and exhausted!!! They are all lying, motionless on the floor!!! Lets shift over to the sauna!!

*Sauna*

Nikki- As you can see Phantom, Ruff Ryda, and Shadow are brawling in the sauna!!! Phantom grabs Shadow!!! Powerbomb through the wooden bench!!!!! JESUS!!!! He covers!!!!

1....

2....

NO!!!

Nikki- OH MY GOD!!!!! Ryda grabs a fire stone and jams it into Phantom's back!!!!!! JESUS LORD IN HEAVEN!!!!! Phantom's back in burnt to a crisp!!! He is screaming in pain!!!! WAIT!! I am getting word that something HUGE is happening at the pool!!!

*POOL*

Nikki- OH LORD!!!! G-Dogg is battling with High Flyer high above on the high dive!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! High FLyer is on the edge!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! G-Dogg just threw Phantom off of hte high dive!!!!! Flyer goes crashing threw the water!!!! G-Dogg dives off the board to the pool!!!! He covers High Flyer underwater!!!!!!!

1.....

2.....

3!!!!!

Nikki- High Flyer is out!!!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer>

Nikki- That has got to be the most insane match in the history of wrestler, now they are telling me to switch over to JT!

*HIGHWAY*

JT- Well, two things, 1. These men are completly nuts and 2. My feet hurt from all this walking!!! WAIT, what does that sign say!?!?!?!

(points to a highway sign)

JT- WELCOME TO BOSTON!!!! NO FU**ING WAY!!!!! I cannot believe that we are in Boston fu**ing Massachusetts!!! These men are completly nuts!!!! Brian Dudley has Rapps, spinebuster on the concrete!!!!! Rapps's head just bounced off the damn concrete!!! Michael Dudley has Phelan, sidewalk slam on the concrete!!! The Beverly Hills Bruisers are really taking control here!!! Wait, Howitt and McRae come from behind, double superkicks on the BHB brothers!! They highi five eachother, WAIT!! Zombie from behind with a stop sign!!!!

*SMACK*

JT- Down goes McRae

*SMACK*

JT- And down goes Howitt!!! Zombie takes the sign

*SMACK*

JT- O GOD!!! He just busted that hard, aluminum sign over Howitt's head!!!! Howitt is out cold and bleeding like a pig!!!! Zombie grabs a large rock, OH MY GOD!!!!! Zombieplex onto the rock!!!!

1......

2.....

3!!!!

JT- Thats it!!! Howitt is gone!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer, and Jordan Howitt>

JT- They are telling me to switch over to GP!!!

*RING*

GP- Ladies and gentlemen, just now are the men getting up after that C-4 explosion that nearly blew them all up!! Everyone wounded and tired, except for Jay who detonated the explosion!! Hopkins grabs Jay, double legged powerbomb!!!!

1.....

2....

NO!!

GP- Dane grabs Hopkins and whips him to the outside!!! Havoc has Jax, tiger bomb!!! Cappy is still on the ground after getting spiked in the eye!!! There is complete chaos here int he ring, Nikki, lets go back to you!!!

*YMCA*

Nikki- Well, there isn't much less chaos here GP!!! Everyone has finally assembled and are brawling by the pool!!! Chrome, G-Dogg, and Phantom are all up on the high dive!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! They are brawling near the edge!! NOOO!!!! All three men have fallen off of the high dive into the pool!!!! MY LORD!!! The three men thankfully come up and out of the pool!!!!! Al attacks Chrome and goes for a powerbomb but Chrome somehow reverses and back body drops Al into the pool!!!! MY GOD!! WAIT!!! Shack grabs G-Dogg!!! Piledriver on the pool's tile floor!!!!! G-Dogg is out cold!! He is not moving!!!! Shack grabs a megaphone!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! Shacked 4 Life onto the megaphone!!!!

1.....

2.....

3!!!!

Nikki- Its over!!! G-Dogg has been eliminated!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer, Jordan Howitt, and G-Dogg>

Nikki- This is just disgusting!!! I mean, the lengths people will go to just for the world title!!! Good god!!!! What the hell????? OH MY GOD!!!!!!! ITS...........ITS.........ITS PHELAN KELL!!!!! Phelan is here!!!! He must have slipped away from the others!!! Phelan is inside the YMCA!!! He has a flaming bat!!!! He runs at Ruff Ryda!!!!

*SMACK*

Nikki- JESUS!!!!! Ruff just got woloped with that flaming bat!!!! Ruff is down and screaming in agony!!!!! WAIT a minute!!!! Chrome grabs Ruff, Rain DROP!!!!! He hit Ruff Ryda with the Rain DROP!!!!! He covers!!!

1....

2...

3!!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer, Jordan Howitt, G-Dogg, and Ruff Ryda

Nikki- Ruff is out, wait, Al grabs Shadow, Happy Hour on the tile floor!!!! He isn't done!!! Powerbomb onto the floor!!!!! Shadow is almost out!!! WHAT THE HELL???? He is signaling for Phelan to come over!!!! NO, NO!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! Al held Shadow and Phelan hit him in the face with the flaming bat!!!!! Shadow is screaming at the top of his lungs!!! OH NO!!! PLEASE GOD...... NO!!!! Phelan and Al just nailed a spike Happy Hour on Shadow!!! Al covers!!!!!

1....

2..

3!!!!

Nikki- Shadow is out!!!!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer, Jordan Howitt, G-Dogg, Ruff Ryda and Shadow>

Look at Phelan!!! He threw the bat in the pool and grabbed a pool skimmer!!!!!!!!! He runs up behind Phantom!! OH GOD!!! He just tripped Phantom and Phantom's head bounced off of the tiling!!!! Phantom is grabbing at his head in agony!!! He is bleeding from the back of his head!!!! What is Kell doing now??? He is on the springboard with Phantom, OH GOD, OH GOD NO!!! He is setting him up!!! Nooooooooooo POWERBOMB!!!!! WAIT!! The board didn't break!!!! Phantom bounced off of the board and into the water!!! Kell dives in after him!!! He brings him up and throws him onto the deck!!! Phantom is unconscious!!! There is no nead for this!!!! Phelan is going into the storage room, he comes out with................................. a 20lb diving block!!! OH LORD!!! One of those blocks that you put on the bottom and retrieve!!! You have got to be kidding me!!!! Phelan sets it on the tile, he grabs Phantom, WAIT!!!! Chrome runs at Kell, he clotheslines him and both men go flying into the pool!!! Phantom just falls to the floor unconscious and Shack runs over, Shacked 4 Life on the diving block!!!!! He covers

1....

2...

3!!!!!

Nikki- Phantom is out!!!!!!

<Eliminated- Sabbath, High Flyer, Jordan Howitt, G-Dogg, Ruff Ryda, Shadow, and Phantom>

(the bells in arena go off)

*DING, DING, DING*

GP- Thats it, five minute break!!!!

(during the five minutes, its shows everyone going back to the arena, Zombie hitches a ride with another motorcycle gang, others steal cars, or hitchhike. The men at the YMCA slowly walk back over to the Salem Civic Center. All of the men are battered and bruised and a good portion of them are bleeding.

As they are making their way back, the camera begins to show clips of how all of the eliminations happened. This goes on for about another minute, and then the camera cuts to the arena.)

Meygon- Ladies and gentlemen we are down to the final 17 men who all are vying for the IWO World Title!!!!!

(crowd is going nuts)

Meygon- I will now announce them one by one as they make their way to the ring



Al Coholic

Brian Dudley

Capital Punishment

Chrome Thunder

Dan Hopkins

Dane Wilt

Havoc

Jax Stone

Joey Rappoport

John McRae

Justin Shack

Mad Max

Michael Dudley

Phelan Kell

Psycho Jay

Samuel Potright

Zombie

(the 17 men enter the ring)

Meygon- These men are possibly the best wrestlers in the world and they are all after one thing, the IWO World title!!!!!!!

Good luck men.

(the camera then shifts up to the announcers booth)

GP- I wonder where JT is????

Nikki- I was just thinking the same thing!!!!

(the camera then shows an exhausted JT walking in the back. He can hardly stand and is completly out of breath)

JT(huffing and puffing)- I......... am..........almost.........there.

(JT finally reaches the announce booth)

JT- I am glad its all over

Nikki- Um........ JT......

GP- There are still 17 men left in this match!!!!

(we see JT slowly fall to the floor)

Nikki- HAHAHAHAHAH

*DING, DING, DING*

GP- Here we go!!!!!!

*MORE BAD SATELLITE FEEDS*
*WE MISSED PART 4*

Men remaining:
Al Coholic,Capital Punishment,Dan Hopkins,Havoc,Jax Stone,John McRae,Mad Max, Michael Dudley,Phelen Kell,Psycho Jay, and Zombie

GP - The five minute period is up!!! We are about to get down to the LAST part of this match... We are about to see just who the next IWO World Champion is going to be!!!

("Down" by Stone Temple Pilots begin to play. The crowd gets up. Titan appears from the back. The guys in and around the ring are confused. Why is Titan out here? He has a microphone.)

Titan - You know, I've been in charge of this place for almost a month now. I watched as you guys, you guys in the ring put forth a hell of an effort. I saw what you were all made of...

(Titan pulls a list from his pocket.)

Titan - Here are the guys that I want in this ring... The guys that I want to see in the last part of this match. And I don't really care if you have already lost. If you hear your name, get your ass back out here because you have a second chance!!!

(Titan looks at the list.)

Titan - Phelen Kell... Zombie... Hopkins... Mike Dudley... Capital Punishment... High Flyer... John McRae... Shrimp Potright... Havoc... and lets see who I didn't call that's still out here.. Psycho Jay... I guess you can stay... Jax Stone... this is your last night.. If you win I strip your ass of the title.. but feel free to stay... Al Coholic... You make me sick... Here's what I want you to do.. Go to the back, get me some beer, wash my car... And maybe.. JUST MAYBE I'll think about giving you another title shot... NOT A WORLD. Some OTHER shot... but... for now... GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING... You don't deserve the title belt!!!

(Al Coholic is in shock.)

Titan - And you... Mad Max... Maxy... Max... Hey... GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE RING... YOU AND AL HAD YOUR CHANCES LAST MONTH AND YOU BLEW IT... BYE BYE.. START WALKING... SEE YA ON THE WAY TO THE BACK... Go do something useful.. Like bother someone other than world title contenders!!! So... In the ring or around the ring should be... High Flyer, Shrimp Samuel Potright, Capital Punishment, Dan Hopkins, Havoc, Jax Stone, John McRae, Michael Dudley, Phelen Kell, Psycho Jay, and Zombie... Now.. Lets see who the World Champion will be!!! YAY!!! Oh and by the way... I have a MAJOR announcement after this match is over... So I suggest you all sit at the edge of your seats.. Now let the game begin...

*DING*

High Flyer, Shrimp Samuel Potright, Capital Punishment, Dan Hopkins, Havoc, Jax Stone, John McRae, Michael Dudley, Phelen Kell, Psycho Jay, and Zombie are all around the ring area or in the ring...

GP - Everyone is confused by Titan's ruling. Why did some of the guys already eliminated get to come back and get a second chance?!?!

JT - Who knows... Who cares.. Just let the best man win!!!

Nikki - I agree with Greg here, I don't think it is fair at all.

---
Abbreviations for the Wrestlers:
High Flyer - High Flyer
Sameul Potright - Shrimp or Potright
Capital Punishment - Cappy or Capital Punishment
Dan Hopkins - Hopkins or Dan Hopkins
Havoc - Havoc
Jax Stone - Stone or Jax Stone
John "Vampyre" McRae - McRae or John McRae
Michael Dudley - Mike Dudley
Phelen Kell - Kell or Phelen or Phelen Kell
Psycho Jay - Jay or Psycho Jay
Zombie - Zombie
refree - ref
---

Shrimp and High Flyer are getting into an arguement. They are on the outside of the ring. Shrimp is saying HE is the only High Flyer in the IWO. High Flyer shoves Potright back. Potright gets right back in his face and they start jawing again... WAIT!!! IN THE RING!!! Jax Stone comes running and he flies over the top rope and lands right on both High Flyer and Potright!!! They are all three down!!!

Zombie is slowly pacing. FROM BEHIND!!! Psycho Jay nails Zombie with a steel chair!!! ZOMBIE JUST TURNS AROUND!!! He grabs the chair from Jay. Jay is backing off... FROM BEHIND JAY!!! HAVOC HAS A CHAIR!!! NO!!! JAY DUCKS.. HAVOC SWINGS... ZOMBIE SWINGS.. The chairs smash together... It sends Havoc back and down to the floor. Zombie doesn't care about Havoc so he starts beating the shit out of Psycho Jay with the chair.

Phelen Kell and Capital Punishment have locked up. Capital Punishment sends Phelen Kell into the ropes. Kell comes back and is leveled by a vicious clothesline from Cappy. Cappy pulls Kell up he sets him up.. suplex down to the mat!!!

JT - OH MY GOD!!

GP - A wrestling move!!!

Nikki - AMAZING!!!

Mike Dudley and John McRae have found each other on the outside of the ring. They are throwing punches back and forth at each other. Dan Hopkins just pulled the ring apron up. He is looking under the ring. He pulls out a ladder!!! The crowd sees the ladder and goes crazy. He sets the ladder up but... McRae slings Dudley into the ladder!!! The ladder and Dudley meet face to face and Dudley goes down. The ladder falls towards the ring and lands on the ring ropes. Hopkins picks the ladder up and slings it down onto Dudley. Hopkins and McRae are now double teaming Mike Dudley!!!

Jax Stone is beating away on High Flyer. Shrimp is looking around the ring area for some weapon. He looks over and sees the ring bell. He grabs the ring bell and heads back over to where Stone and High Flyer are. Jax Stone has no clue where Potright is. Potright is right behind him!!! He has the ring bell!!! *DING* HE SMASHES JAX STONE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! JAX STONE FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!! Blood comes rushing from the back of Stone's head. Shrimp drops the bell and goes for a cover!!! 1....2....3!!!

Eliminated - Jax Stone

GP - That was a quick exit here in the final part for Jax Stone. And I believe that this was Jax Stone's last match here in the IWO guys!!!

JT - This was a LOT of people's last match here in the IWO. But Stone could be hurt. He might need some help.

Nikki - You actually sound like you care JT.

JT - Actually I don't... I just hate to see someone leave NOT on a stretcher... hehe

GP - Sicko...

Nikki - Yes...

Havoc has crawled under the ring. Apparently he too is looking for some kind of weapon to use. Zombie still is beating the living hell out of Psycho Jay. Jay's head is busted open from the steel chair. Zombie is now driving the chair into Psycho Jay's knee. Jay is yelling out in pain. Havoc comes back out from under the ring and he has some barbed wire!!! The crowd is going crazy. He runs right at Zombie with the barbed wire... NO!!! Zombie swings the chair and smacks Havoc and the barbed wire!!! This shoves the barbed wire into Havoc's face!!! Havoc screams out and falls to the floor. The scene is horrible and part of the barbed wire has gone into Havoc's right eye.

GP - This doesn't look good. Havoc could be blind for the rest of his life after that!!!

JT - Oh well, life's a bitch and then you can't see.

Phelen Kell picks Phelen Kell up and sets him on the top turnbuckle. He goes up to the second turnbuckle and looks to be setting Kell up for a superplex. NO!!! Kell blocks it... Kell is fighting with Cappy on the top!!! WAIT!!! HE HAS HIM!!! POWERBOMB FROM THE TOP!!! Cappy is out!!! Kell is going for the cover!!! The three refs are all out of the ring!!! No one is there to count!!! Kell is pissed. He gets up. He pulls Capital Punishment up and tosses him over the top rope.

GP - Well, the ring is empty now.

McRae and Hopkins are now brawling with each other. Mike Dudley is still down. McRae slings Hopkins into the guardrail. McRae runs in at Hopkins, but Hopkins bends over sending McRae flying in the first and second row of fans. The fans start screaming out.

JT - This can't be good!!!

Nikki - we could get sued again!!!

McRae is trying to get up. The fans are trying to get him up. Hopkins reaches over and grabs McRae by the head... Dudley is getting up though!!! He looks around... He grabs the ladder!!! He goes over.. HE THROWS THE LADDER AT HOPKINS!!! The ladder bounces off of his head and it falls into the crowd hitting McRae and a few other fans!!! They all scream out in horror.

Shrimp is chasing High Flyer to the back with the ring bell. High Flyer exits into the locker room area. He goes into the showers!!! Shrimp is right behind him. High Flyer turns the showers on and water is going everywhere. Shrimp throws the ring bell *DING* it smacks against the wall. Now without the ring bell, High Flyer charges at Shrimp. He spears him down onto the shower floor. The back of Shrimp's head hits hard. Blood is coming out from the back of his head!!! High Flyer has him down but there isn't a refree in the showers!!!

GP - Things aren't looking good for Samuel Potright in this match guys.

JT - AWWW... POOR DUMB ASS!!!

Nikki - you are SOOO mean.

Paramedics are out to check on Havoc to see if he is alright. He isn't. They are slowly removing the barbed wire from his eyeball. Havoc is still screaming out in pain. Meanwhile, Zombie and Psycho Jay, are still going at it. Zombie has completely taken out Jay's knee. Zombie looks around. He sees a refree. He grabs the refree by the collar and jerks him over. He grabs Jay by the leg... HE LOCKS ON A ZOMBIE KNEE LOCK SUBMISSION HOLD OF DOOM!!! Psycho Jay is screaming out in pain!!! Psycho Jay is tapping out!! He can't take anymore!!!

Eliminated - Psycho Jay...

Remaining: High Flyer, Shrimp Samuel Potright, Capital Punishment, Dan Hopkins, Havoc, John McRae, Michael Dudley, Phelen Kell, and Zombie

High Flyer is choking Potright with a soap on a rope. Potright is still bleeding from the fall he had earlier. High Flyer is dragging Potright out of the showers and into another locker room. He is looking through people's bags. He pulls out a metal spiked dildo from Lindley's bag. He smacks Potright over the face with it. Potright is now bleeding from the front of his face. High Flyer pulls Potright up and slings him into a locker. It leaves a HUGE dent in the locker. Potright is down and out. High Flyer picks Potright up and heads back out to find a refree.

GP - I don't think Samuel Potright will be able to continue in this match. Just like I don't think Havoc will be able to continue either!

JT - I don't really give a damn about Havoc or Potright. We both know they don't stand a chance in hell of winning this title!!!

Nikki - What a bastard you are JT.

Zombie is laughing at Psycho Jay as paramedics are tending to his knee. He looks over and sees paramedics are also working with Havoc. Blood is all over the floor. Havoc's eye could be permanetly damaged. Zombie goes over and he grabs one of the paramedics by the throat and slings him out of the way. The other paramedics run away and hide. Zombie goes after Havoc. He rips off the bandage from around his eye. He looks around and sees the other barbed wire. He grabs it... and.. JABS IT RIGHT INTO HAVOC'S EYE!!! HAVOC IS YELLING OUT IN PAIN AGAIN!!! HIS ENTIRE EYE IS COVERED IN BLOOD AND IT LOOKS TO BE RIPPED!!!

GP - This is sick!!! Someone needs to stop this!!!

PHELEN KELL!!! He grabs Zombie from behind!!! Zombie turns around... BAM!!! Punch to the face!!! Zombie stumbles back. Kell reaches down and grabs the barbed wire from his hand and shoves it back against Zombie's chest. Zombie falls back more grasping his chest. Phelen Kell is looking over a fallen Havoc. He is yelling for some help. Havoc isn't moving and blood is everywhere. CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS UP!!! He goes over and grabs Kell and slings him back into the guardrail!!! Cappy covers Havoc!!! 1...2....3

Eliminated - Havoc

High Flyer comes from the back still carrying Samuel Potright. He drops Potright just as they get half way down the isle. He grabs the stretcher that the paramedics are going to put Psycho Jay on. He drives the stretcher down onto Potright.

Dudley, Hopkins, and McRae have brawled their way to the back. Dudley slings Hopkins into the ladies bathroom. McRae has a broom in his hand. McRae smacks Dudley in the back with the broom and it knocks Dudley into the ladies restroom. The door closes... AND MCRAE JAMS THE DOOR SHUT WITH THE BROOM HANDLE!!!

JT - Uh-oh, I hope their isn't any ladies in there.

GP - I can't believe you said that!!!

JT - Oh yeah.. COME ON TITS!!! I'm just too tired right now to care. This night has been too damn long guys... Give me a break...

We have a camera in the ladies room. We see Dudley and Hopkins continuing their brawl.. WAIT!! SOME BIG FAT 400 POUND WOMAN JUST CAME OUT OF ONE OF THE STALLS!!! SHE GRABS HOPKINS!!!

Fat Lady - I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!!

She jerks him into the stall and slams the door. Hopkins is screaming out. Dudley doesn't know what to do. He is getting sick from the smell and the sound. Just then we hear a gun shot. The stall door busts open and out falls Hopkins. The Fat Woman falls on top of his dead. Richard Simmions appears from the toilet with a gun and some scuba gear.

Richard Simmions - Just doing my part to make sure my fat ladies don't get out of line!!!

He goes back down the toilet and vanishes. Dudley rolls the dead fat lady over and grabs Hopkins. He rams his head hard into the bathroom door. It breaks the broom handle and the go crashing out... McRae is waiting. He has a kitchen sink!!! He drives the sink into the back of Dudley's head!!!

GP - THIS ONE IS GETTING CRAZY!!!

High Flyer has the ladder once used by Hopkins, McRae, and Dudley. He sets it up in the middle of the walkway isle. HE CLIMBS IT... HE JUMPS DOWN ONTO THE STRETCHER... DOWN ONTO POTRIGHT!!! HE MAKES THE COVER!!!
1...2....3

Eliminated - 'Shrimp' Samuel Potright

Remaining: High Flyer, Capital Punishment, Dan Hopkins, John McRae, Michael Dudley, Phelen Kell, and Zombie

Kell, Zombie, and Capital Punishment are rumbling.

In the back: McRae is driving the kitchen sink into Mike Dudley. Dudley can't cover up from the shots. Hopkins has apparently escaped the wrath of the sink.. WAIT!!! HERE HE COMES BACK!!! HE HAS THE TV TITLE BELT!!! HE SMASHES MCRAE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! McRae goes crashing down to the floor. Hopkins grabs the sink and starts driving it into McRae. A refree comes running to the back. Hopkins pulls McRae up... DDT INTO THE SINK!!! 1..2....3!!!

Eliminated - John 'Vampyre' McRae

Dan Hopkins leaves Mike Dudley behind and heads back out to the ring area. He meets up with High Flyer. He grabs High Flyer by the head and jerks him down to the floor. Hopkins starts stomping away on him. Capital Punishment comes charging over and tackles Hopkins. From the back appears Mike Dudley. He comes running out and tackles Capital Punishment down. All 6 men left are around the ring fighting with each other!!!

GP - THIS IS WILD!!!

JT - GROOVY!!!

Nikki - Cool!!!

-inject with heroin-

(A weird noise is heard. A blue british telephone box appears right next to the brawling men. The door of the box opens up. Out walks a man with curly hair, a brown coat, a brown hat, and a long scarf. Just then Phelen Kell slings Zombie into the box. Kell follows him in. Hopkins goes in followed by High Flyer.. Dudley and Capital Punishment brawl their way in... The man is yelling at them to get out. He goes back in, the door closes, and the box disappears.)

GP - ummm...

JT - Well...

Nikki - I think we are just too tired and we are seeing things. I guess the match is actually over... but who won!?!

GP - NO ONE!!! WHATS GOING ON!?!?

**The camera cuts back in time to the FWL**

JR: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the FWL Arena in Philadelphia!!!! This
promises to be a huge night of action as the FWL World Title is at stake in a
Battle Royale!!! Funny thing is, Nikki, there are no fans in this arena. And
I really don't understand why. Did Eric order this to be a house show just
televised on TV? I don't get it-Is anyone here?
Nikki: JR, guess who's here-the Mouth!!
Mouth: That's right boys and girls!! The Mouth is back!! Taking JT's spot for
the night and promising to bring you a great night of action!!!!!
Nikki: Ok, shutup!! What a night this promises to be. It will certaintly be a
night that goes down in infamy in the FWL, as anything that can happen most
likely will happen.
JR: Well, here come the participants in the FWL Battle Royale. I guess
they're doing this for their own satisfaction then. Here they come--Dark
Angel, Badboy Brian Smith, A1, A2, Chris Anthony, Bill Iceberg, Too Sexy Ryan
Bailey, the 69 Kid, The Sensation, Charlie Haddigan, The Reaper, the Lost
Soul, A-Maze, Ken War, White Thunder, Red Wolf, Dark Wolf, and Black Thunder.
They're in the ring. Where's Cybercyclone?
Nikki: Here he comes!! The last one on his way out to the ring!!! Look!!
That's President John coming down right behind him!! What is this all about?
Oh my GOD!! PRESIDENT JOHN IS HOLDING CYBERCYCLONE AT GUNPOINT!!!
JR: Jesus!! Get some security out here!! John has lost it!!! He wouldn't!!
Cybercyclone is trying to get him to put the gun down!!
(**Shots ring out, as the announcers stand there shocked. Cybercyclone falls
to the ground after being shot in the head.)
JR: Get some security!! Arrest the President!!!
Mouth: But there's no security JR. Remember, there's no need for it-there's
no fans... Here come the EMTs though. They are, John is telling them to
leave him there!!! They're backing out of there!! And there goes John, making
an exit!!!! FWL wrestlers in the ring are shocked!!!!! And here comes
Executive Eric with a microphone!!!
Eric: Ok guys, ok. I'll take care of this. I'm sorry Cybercyclone died, but
I have police following John, but I think he may have gotten away. Just go on
with the Battle Royale, ok? And guys, I'm sorry. I have two words for you
all--SUCK IT.
And if you don't understand that, I've always got a little sign language for
you:
(Eric gives them all the double bird) Have fun assholes!!! I'm getting out of
here!
JR: Something is fishy!! I sure hope Eric did that in his Horseman
character!!!
I am getting out of here!!! Nikki, come with me!!!! The bell has rung!! Action
has begun!!!! Mouth, you coming?
Mouth: No, no!! I'm taking this show over!!!!
JR: Suit yourself, Idiot.
(JR and Nikki make their way out, as cameras follow them out of the arena.
Cameras flip back to the ring, where the battle royale continues.)
Mouth: Look at all this action in the ring!!!!! This is nuts!!!!!
(A Slight rumbling can be heard)
Mouth: What is that??
(Cameras fade into Eric, John, and Jeff sitting in a limosine outside the
arena. Eric has a remote in his hand.)
Eric: I told you that we would blow the roof off the FWL Arena in
Philadelphia. Here it goes.
(Camera goes back inside)
Mouth: Hahaha!! Eric is such a character!!!! Whoa!!!! White Thunder with a
big clothesline on Red Wolf!!!!
(Eric's voice can be heard over the speakers from his car phone)
Eric-BOOM.
****THE BLUE TELEPHONE BOX APPEARS IN THE CENTER OF THE RING. ERIC LOOKS CONFUSED... OUT WALKS MICHAEL DUDLEY, DAN HOPKINS, PHELEN KELL, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, ZOMBIE, HIGH FLYER, AND THE MYSTERIOUS MAN****

Eric - What the fuck!?! I SAID BOOM!!!

*nothing happens*

Phelen Kell, Dan Hopkins, Michael Dudley, Capital Punishment, Zombie, and High Flyer all beat the hell out of the other guys in the ring. They clean the ring out and only those six guys are remaining.

Eric - BOOM!!!

The mysterious man with the scarf makes the six guys get back in the blue box. They get back in and the box disappears.

**camera cuts back to Salem, Mass.**

(The blue box appears in the center of the IWO Fear the Darkness PPV ring. All six guys walk out.. but...)

Eric - What the hell is this?!?! Who are these people???

Jamie - I don't know but they sure look like morons!!!

Nikki - This is so weird!!!

(The mysterious man with the scarf is asking for a microphone.)

Man with scarf, hat, and coat - I'm terribly sorry to interupt but it seems as if we have just a small problem. See, we went back in time in my TARDIS here and we changed history. The FWL arena never blew up.

Jamie - WHAT!?!

Eric - HOW DID HE KNOW WE WERE GONNA DO THAT?!!

Man with scarf, hat, and coat - Oh, by the way, you can call me the doctor. But anyway... Where was I.. oh yes.. would you like a jelly baby?

(The crowd is getting angry.)

The Doctor - Ok.. Ok.. I'll fix it.. give me a moment...

(The doctor steps into the TARDIS. It disappears again... All of a sudden everything reverts back to normal.)

GP - WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!

JT - IM CONFUSED!!!

Nikki - Haven't I been here before???

(All 6 men start brawling.)

Phelen Kell and Capital Punishment lock up. Kell throws Cappy over the guardrail and into the crowd. Kell follows him over. Kell grabs a fan's purse and smashes Cappy over the head with it. Cappy goes down to the floor. Phelen opens the purse up.. AND IT IS A BRICK!!! WAIT!!! THATS SUE-ANNE!!! Phelen with a cover!!! 1...2....3

Eliminated - Capital Punishment

GP - 5 MEN LEFT!!! This is going to get incredible!!! AMAZING!!!

(Flying Monkeys come into the arena. They are eating people's head. Everyone is screaming. One of the Flying Monkeys grabs Mike Dudley by the head and flies him up to the nose bleed section of the arena. There Dudley is mobbed by redneck fans. He is beaten down with a pitchfork and sent rolling down the stairs at the top of the arena. He rolls down to the second level of the arena where one of the flying monkeys pick him and carries him back to the ring. Dan Hopkins with a cover...1..2...3...)

Eliminated - Michael Dudley

JT - FOUR GUYS LEFT!!! This is getting WILD!!!

GP - YES!!! AMAZING!!!

High Flyer goes over and grabs Zombie. He slings Zombie into the wooden goat. Zombie goes down hard. High Flyer jumps up and down on Zombie. Phelen Kell rushes over and smashes High Flyer with a cucumber. High Flyer goes down to the floor next to Zombie. Dan Hopkins sees his chance. He gets a running start and leaps out of the ring down onto High Flyer and Zombie. He is going for a cover!!! 1...2...NO!!! Phelen Kell jerks Dan Hopkins up. He slaps him in the face with the trout and sends him tumbling down into the cactus. Phelen Kell puts some anti-cactus gloves on and drives a cactus into the back of High Flyer. High Flyer screams out in pain as the cactus poisions High Flyer's body with cactus disease. High Flyer immediately turns green and starts throwing up. Doctors rush out and inject High Flyer with the cure for Cactus Disease. High Flyer smiles and attacks Phelen Kell from behind.

GP - This one is getting Wild!!!

JT - So damn incredible!!!

Nikki - YES!!! Amazing!!!

A jack ass appears from the farm and viciously kicks Dan Hopkins in the wrist. Hopkins' wrist could be broken. He gets up and grabs the jack ass by the horns and slings him down into the quicksand. The jack ass fades away into the quicksand. Hopkins leaps over the quicksand and goes to work in the kitchen with Zombie. He grabs a rolling pin and smashes it across Zombie's gut. Zombie screams out in pain. Dan Hopkins pulls Zombie up and tries to shove his head in the oven. He turns the oven on back and listens as Zombie's head roasts. He pulls Zombie's head back out and it is brown. Zombie is yelling out in pain as he grabs a shovel and smashes Dan Hopkins in the groin with it. Hopkins goes down hard and begins to cry. Just then his mom walks in to comfort him and stop him from crying.

GP - This is exciting!!!

Burt Reynolds walks in and is killed by Phelen Kell. Kell is choking away on High Flyer with a ball and chain. High Flyer can't take it anymore. He passes out from the choking. It is almost over for High Flyer. I can feel it in my cheeks. Phelen Kell pulls High Flyer up and shoves his head up a cow's ass. The cow moo's as aliens come down and cut it up. High Flyer escapes but falls prey to a reverse Kell DDT...1..2....3..

Eliminated - High Flyer

GP - JUST THREE MEN LEFT!!!

JT - AMAZING!!!

Nikki - WOOOO!!!

Zombie grabs Dan Hopkins and slams him hard against the railroad tracks. He grabs some rope and ties Hopkins to the tracks. A big ass train is coming this way. Hopkins is trying to escape but he can't. The train comes by and.. NO!!! Zombie couldn't watch someone die before his eyes. He unties him... ZOMBIEPLEX!!! 1.....2....3

Eliminated - Dan Hopkins...

-heroin wears off-

GP - This is it fans... We are down to these two men.. A feud that really has never ended... Phelen Kell and Zombie... And one of these men will be the world champion!!!

JT - This is going to be the biggest match in IWO history.

Nikki - I can't wait to see if Phelen Kell will once again be crowned the IWO World Champion or will Zombie walk away as a champion once again???

GP - You have to realize that these men are no strangers to the title. They are ready to get their hands on the belt once again.

JT - But why couldn't someone new get the belt?!?

GP - Good question JT...

World Title...
Zombie vs. Phelen Kell
Let the games begin...Phelen Kell vs. Zombie
Winner takes all

(Kell and Zombie are in a stare down with each other. They start jawing with each other.)

JT - These two are clearly the best in IWO history. Of course that doesn't include ?┐? and Titan.

Nikki - Hey, you remembered how to do the upside down question mark!!!

JT - Heh...

GP - Oh without question. This match is going to be the biggest match that the IWO has seen in a LONG time. Phelen Kell defeated Zombie just a few months ago to become the champion. Now he has to get rid of Zombie again.

Nikki - This match is going to be very difficult for Phelen Kell. Zombie has back up and Kell knows that. Kell is all alone and that gives Zombie a HUGE advantage. I don't think this one can be fair.

GP - You do have a good point Nikki. But I think Titan should have added the stipulation that if anyone interferes they are gone from the IWO or something along those lines.

JT - Now come on Greg. That would just take all the fun out of things if that were to happen.

Nikki - But it would be fair JT.

JT - Screw fair...

GP - Who's fair?

Nikki - *sigh*

GP - Well, there he is, the man that stands in Zombie's way. And Kell looks ready. There is no denying that he can beat Zombie and become the World Champion here tonight.

JT - Stop saying all these good things about Phelen Kell. Kell is a nobody. He is just like his little friend Harlequin. Kell held the damn belt for what, one year? He hasn't been heard from since. He is busy crying to a therapist or something because Zombie beat his ass. Zombie will put Kell on the couch right next to him and I'm gonna say I TOLD YOU SO when it happens.

GP - Umm... That didn't make any sense.

Nikki - Well JT, I know you like Zombe because of him being dead, but I think you just went a little too far there.

JT - Yeah, we will see Nikki. Kell is a nobody.

(Phelen Kell is in the ring ready for Zombie to get in.)

(Zombie is getting in the ring. Kell sees him and runs at him. Zombie backs off and starts yelling at Kell.)

GP - I guess this match is about to get underway.

(The ref is trying to back Kell up. Zombie is standing on the ring steps waiting to enter the ring. He looks at the IWO World Title belt. He tries to get in the ring again. Kell charges again. This time Zombie goes to the floor. He is yelling at the ref to back Kell up.)

GP - This is just like Zombie to back out of this. He should just get in the ring and fight.

JT - Phelen Kell is being an ass by doing this... He is just scared to meet Zombie face to face.

Nikki - Yeah, whatever JT. Nice little fantasy world you live in...

(The ref is now holding Phelen Kell back. Zombie is now trying to get back in the ring. Kell throws down the ref and heads over to Zombie. Kell gets out of the ring. Zombie grabs a stick man and puts him in front of him.)

JT - Look at Kell, trying to hit a damn stick man!!! What a jerk he is!!!

GP - Oh give me a damn break.

(Kell is threatening to hit the stick man. The ref is getting up. He starts yelling at Kell. Kell turns and looks at the ref... THE STICK MAN KICKS CAIN IN THE GROIN!!! He goes down to his knees. HE then slaps him in the face. Zombie then punches him clean in the face sending him all the way down to the floor. Zombie pulls him and rolls him into the ring. Zombie follows. The ref signals for the bell.)

*DING DING DING DING DING*

Zombie jerks Phelen Kell up and slings him into the corner. Zombie charges in and nails Kell. Zombie pulls Kell up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Zombie goes up to the second turnbuckle... SUPERPLEX!!! Zombie goes for a quick cover...1...2...NO!!! Kell kicks out.

JT - That should have been over. The ref counts so damn slow. I can't believe it!!! He was ROBBED!!!

GP - ROBBED!!! You are crazy. The match has JUST started.

Nikki - yeah really.

JT - Zombie is great...

Zombie is up. He pulls Kell back up. He throws him over the top rope and to the floor. Zombie follows him out. Zombie is looking around. He grabs a chair and takes it over to Kell. He drives the chair into Kell's throat. Kell grabs his throat in pain. Zombie starts jawing with the fans at ringside. One of them throws a coke on him. He hits them in the face with the chair. IWO security guards come running out. They grab the fan and take him away. Zombie is laughing. He is too busy watching the fan being taken off to realize that Phelen Kell is getting up!!!

Nikki - Zombie has put his guard down. That could cost him the World Title. It was a stupid move on his part.

GP - Yes it was...

JT - It wasn't stupid. That damn fan was just being an ass.

Kell grabs Zombie from behind and locks him in a sleeper hold. Marvin Fleet jumps on the back of Kell. Kell lets go of Zombie and tries to get Marvin Fleet off of his back. He walks over to the ring post... HE RAMS HIM BACK FIRST INTO IT!!! MARVIN FLEET LETS GO AND FALLS TO THE GROUND!!!

JT - THE SON OF A BITCH!!! I CANT BELIEVE HE WOULD DO THAT!!!

Nikki - He was in the way JT.

Zombie goes insane when he sees what has happened. He grabs Kell by the head and slams him very hard into the guardrail. Kell somehow manages to fight back. He gives Zombie a quick elbow to the stomach. Zombie backs off. Kell turns around and charges at Zombie with a vicious clothesline. Zombie falls down, landing on top of a big breasted whore. Phelen Kell goes over and grabs that chair Zombie had. Phelen Kell grabs Zombie's arm and puts it up on the ring steps. HE BASHES THE CHAIR INTO ZOMBIE'S HAND!!! Zombie screams out jerking his hand away. Kell pulls the big breasted whore up!!!

JT - IF HE HITS HER I SWEAR...

He swings the chair at the big breasted whore!!! HE NAILS HER RIGHT IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! SHE GOES DOWN TO THE FLOOR AGAIN!!! PHELEN KELL IS LAUGHING!!! He jerks Zombie up and rolls him into the ring. Just then Al Coholic comes running out!!! He heads over to look at the big breasted whore to see if she is alright. Phelen Kell sees Al Coholic and he starts jawing with him. Al Coholic gets up on the ring apron and yells back. The ref is now telling Al Coholic to get down. Al Coholic turns and points to the big breasted whore. Just as he does, Kell charges at Al Coholic with that chair in his hand. He nails Al Coholic in the back with it sending him flying off the ring apron, down to the floor. He hits hard and lands on a giant spike. He is dead.

GP - Atleast he is going to keep this match fair.

JT - HE SHOULDNT EVEN BE ALLOWED IN THE IWO!!! HE HIT THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH THAT CHAIR!!! THE SON OF A BITCH!!!

Nikki - JT!!! Control yourself!!!

Kell puts the chair down in the center of the ring. He pulls Zombie up. He sets him up for a piledriver... ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Zombie's forehead is busted open. Kell rolls him over and covers him...1!!!2!!!! NO!!!!!!! Zombie gets his shoulder up!!!

JT - COME ON ZOMBIE!!!

Kell gets up. He picks the chair up and drives it into Zombie's chest. Zombie clutches his chest. Kell pulls Zombie up and sets the chair down again. This time he is setting Zombie up for a DDT onto the chair... Zombie shoves Kell back. Kell kicks Zombie in the stomach. He picks him up and slams him down onto the chair. Kell drops an elbow and goes for a quick cover..1....2.....NO!!! Again, Zombie kicks out.

GP - It looks like Zombie might be the wannabe champion after this match JT.

JT - SHUT UP!! When did this match turn into a no DQ match anyway? That chair is costing him so far.

Nikki - Well, Zombie got the chair in the first place.

On the outside of the ring, Mad Max is out. He tries to go over and help the big breasted whore. WAIT!!! PRESIDENT JAMIE IS OUT!!! He has what appears to be a tazzer. He goes over to Mad Max... HE IS SHOCKING HIM!!! HE BLOWS UP!!! MAD MAX IS DEAD!!!

GP - WHAT THE HELL!!!

Jamie is laughing as he continues to shock the fallen body of Mad Max. He stops and walks over to the camera.

Jamie - That's for causing John to leave!!!

Jamie turns, spits on Mad Max's carcass, and walks off. JAX STONE COMES RUNNING OUT WITH A BASEBALL BAT!!! JAMIE DOESNT SEE HIM!!! JAX STONE NAILS JAMIE IN THE HEAD WITH THE BAT!!! WAIT!!! NO!!! IT WAS A FAKE JAMIE ROBOT!!! THE BAT CAUSES JAX STONE TO DIE FROM ROBOT EXPLOSION!!! JAX STONE IS DEAD!!!

JT - This is insane...

Nikki - For once during this match, I believe you JT.

the big breasted is slowly getting up. It appears her face has been busted open, just above her eye. She gets up on the ring apron and starts yelling at the ref. The ref goes over and tries to get her off the ring apron. Dr. Boucher sees this. He grabs his history book and gets into the ring. The ref doesnt' see him, neither does Phelen Kell. HE NAILS KELL WITH THE HISTORY BOOK!!! IT BROKE OVER HIS HEAD!!! KELL FALLS TO THE MAT!!! Dr. Boucher pulls Zombie on top of Kell... He and his history book get out of the ring. the big breasted whore gets off the ring apron. The ref turns around and sees Zombie on top. He has no clue what has happened. He has to make the count...1...2...3!!!

JT - YES!!!

GP - NO!!!

Winner and IWO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD - ZOMBIE!!!

(Dr. Boucher gets the world title belt and gets in the ring and hands it to Zombie. He is raising Zombie's hand. The crowd is booing. Phelen Kell is lying in a pool of blood in the center of the ring.)

Nikki - I don't see how this match was fair at all. Phelen Kell was cheated out of the IWO World title.

JT - No he wasn't!!! This was a great match.

(President Jamie is slowly walking out, again. He sees the carnage in the ring. He looks very pissed. He slowly goes over and gets a microphone.)

President Jamie - This isn't going to work.. I saw what went down in the back.. I'm back and I don't want a cheater as MY champion. Kell.. The decision is reversed... Phelen Kell is your NEW IWO WORLD CHAMPION!!! AND BESIDES.. I THINK HE DESERVES IT MORE THAN ANYONE!!! AND SO DOES TITAN BECAUSE I TALKED WITH TITAN AS HE WAS LEAVING... GOODBYE TITAN... The IWO starts a new dawn in November and Phelen Kell is our champion... But for how long!?!?!?

NEW IWO WORLD CHAMPION (again) - PHELEN KELL
GP - WHAT A NIGHT!!! KELL IS THE CHAMPION AGAIN!!!

(The scene cuts to the back where we see "The Prep Kids" taking off their costumes. IT IS FOREIGN LEGION!!! THEY ARE THE REAL IC TAG CHAMPIONS!!! IT WAS ALL JUST A HALLOWEEN GAG!!! AND LOOK!!! THE PREP KIDS WERE DRESSED UP AS FOREIGN LEGION!!!)

("Pruno" by Stone Temple Pilots begins to play. JOHN!!! OH MY GOD!!! JOHN MAKES HIS WAY OUT!!! He gets in the ring and grabs the world title belt.. HE HANDS IT TO ZOMBIE!!!)

John - HE IS THE CHAMPION!!!

Jamie - NO!!!

John - YES!!!

Jamie - YOU DONT HAVE THE POWER!!!

John - TITAN GAVE ME THE POWER!!!

Jamie - NOT AGAIN!!!!

World Champion - Phelen Kell or Zombie!?!??!
NA Champion - Capital Punishment
World Tag Champions - The Beverly Hills Bruisers
IC Tag Champions - Foreign Legion
US Champion - High Flyer
TV Champion - Dan Hopkins
Extreme Champion - Chrome Thunder
Pacific Champion - "Shrimp" Samuel Potright