Thursday, May 4, 2000
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Buried Alive Match
Lance McNally -c- vs. Enfirno
Platinum Title Match
Silverchair -c- vs. Kurt Zoom
13 Ring O' Table Match
After all thirteen tables around the ring have been used, the man who drove his opponent throughmore wins.
J.J. Nuclear vs. LiGiL
Tag Team Title Match
Seduction and Destruction -c- vs. The Devastators vs. Love Triangle vs. Winds of Change
Vacant Atlantic Title Match
Special Time Machine Match
On special loan from High Flyer, pins count anywhere in time/history.
Guff Daddy vs. Cedric Cinder
Hardcore Title Match
Shawn Arrows vs. God -c-
Loser Leaves the IML2
The Snakehips Army vs. the Jersey Bros.
Navvy vs. Mac D.
Justin Payne vs. Will Rampage
#1 Contender to Tag team Titles
The Hunters vs. Eastsiderz
20 Man Newcomers Battle Royal
Winner revieves either Atlantic or Platinum title shot
Mac D., Axen, Drop Top, Jason Adams, Jason Blair, Justin Payne, Michael Porter, Raven Nevermore, Revolution, Ricky Coyote, Will Rampage, Navvvy, Paul Hanson, H2O, The Klassical One, Razorback, Nucking Futs, Fate, BJ Smith, Cross
(The IML2 Logo can be shown over the screen as "Cemetery Gates" by Pantera begins to play. Highlights from recent weeks past can be shown, including the feuds between Silverchair and Kurt Zoom, Lance McNally and Enfirno, as well as J.J. Nuclear and LiGiL. The camera then pans into the arena where Tom Baines, Duce Johnson, and Lorin can be shown in front of a capacity crowd outside of Death Valley.)
TB: THIS IS GREAT!
DJ: PAY PER VIEW TIME BAINESY!
Lorin: OF COURSE THAT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT!
DJ: ISN'T THAT ALL THAT COUNTS IN THE END?
TB: HE'S RIGHT THERE! HUGE PAY PER VIEW LINEUP TONIGHT! 20 MAN BATTLE ROYAL!
Lorin: TONS OF DEBUTS! TAG TEAM FOURWAY! GOD AND SHAWN ARROWS!
DJ: SILVERCHAIR AND KURT ZOOM LADDER MATCH, NUCLEAR AND LiGiL TABLE MATCH! AND THE BURIED ALIVE MATCH WITH MCNALLY AND ENFIRNO!!!
TB: LET'S JUST GET TO IT!
DJ: Why do we have to scream?
Lorin: It shows that the crowd is really into it!
DJ: But I'm not into it. I mean, sure, it's a great card, but half these people didn't even show!!!
TB: Who cares! All that matters is that we've got one hell of a show for everyone tonight! Let's go right to the opening rumble! 20 men, one ring it's insanity!!!
20 Man Battle Royal
Mac D., Axen, Drop Top, Jason Adams, Jason Blair, Justin Payne, Michael Porter, Raven Nevermore, Razorback, Revolution, Ricky Coyote, Will Rampage, Navvy, Paul Hanson, H2O, The Klassical One, Nucking Futs, Fate, Cross, BJ Smith
DJ: This night if going to be nuts, and the opening contest is going to be just that! We all know of H2O's current situation with Commissioner Jay Taylor
Lorin: And then there's 19 other men, going for that title shot they so deserve.
TB: They don't deserve a thing! Most of them have less charisma than Dean Malenko! And then most of them are about as talented as Duce is with a microphone
DJ: THEN WHY AREN'T THEY IN THE MAIN EVENT BAINSY!
TB: Ugh! It's called an insult! JEEZ! You can't get anything with Duce!
Lorin: Well, we hear "Cemetery Gates" by Pantera playing in the background as the superstars file into the ring. I guess they aren't deserving of their own music, are they?
TB: Not with as much skill as Duce.
DJ: I resent that!
TB: And you should!
Lorin: Stop bickering! We'll never get the show on if you guys continue!
TB: It'll be better than this no talent frauds fighting in the ring.
DJ:Hey! Where the hell is H2O!
Lorin:He probably wants to have some special entrance or something...
(The cameras open up to Commishioner Jay sitting behind his desk in his big leather office chair. He has a stern look on his face.)
Commish Jay: Listen up IML2 wrestlers. I have said week in and week out that if you don't follow the rules you will pay the price. And now I am sick and tired of all you little strappers trying to rise up and make a name for
yourselves, because in my eyes you are all nobodies, PEONS, wastes of semen. Not one of you will EVER make it to the IWO. None of you have talent, none of you have mic skills, YOU ALL BLOW! But what can you do about these harsh words? Well.....you can try to raise up against me like that stupid arrogant piece of shit H2O did, but look at him now.
(The camera pans over to see H2O badly beaten and crying in the corner.)
Commish Jay: Think that looks bad? It's not even close to H2O's final demise, which you will all witness tonight. But basically, all of you can't do ANYTHING about what I say and do. You gonna report me to Tom? He's my
bitch. You gonna tell Jamie on me? I've got him wrapped around my finger. I control the IML2, Tom just does the paperwork, I run this damn show now. So in the future, if anyone decides to give me any problems, let me introduce you to my insurance policy. Ladies and Gentlemen, the new enforcer around here, THE IWO WORLD CHAMPION.........PSYCHO JAY!
(Psycho Jay steps onto the camera with a smile on his face.)
Commish Jay: Jay my man, show the little people what happens when they try to rise up against the likes of me.
Psycho Jay: It'd be an honor. And H2O, I've been waiting to do this to your pathetic ass for a long fucking time!
(Psycho Jay grabs H2O by the head and drags him out of the corner as he whimpers. Psycho Jay lifts him up and tosses him into the wall, leaving a blood splat. H2O tries to crawl away, but Jay picks up a wooden chair and
breaks it over his leg. Psycho Jay picks H2O up again and puts him on top of Commish Jay's desk. Psycho climbs up along with H2O and shoves his head between his legs, Jay then hoists up H2O and SUPERBOMBS HIM RIGHT ONTO HIS HEAD!)
Psycho Jay: Whoops? Was that another Al Coholic mishap? How silly of me!
Jay Taylor: Well Psycho Jay, I believe H2O's neck may be broken. Would you like to check on it for me?
Psycho Jay: I sure would Commishioner.
(Psycho Jay goes over to H2O and grabs his hair. He pulls H2O's head up to about crotch level, as you hear bones crackling and H2O gasp for air. Psycho Jay then gets a firm grasp on H2O's head and BEGINS HUMPING IT!)
TB:PSYCHO JAY IS HUMPING H2O'S HEAD! PSYCHO JAY FROM THE IWO! H2O'S NECK IS BROKEN INTO A MILLION PIECES! HE'S DEAD! H2O IS DEAD!
DJ:Now this is quality entertainment!
Commish Jay: Well, that sucks for him.......but now you all can see what will happen when you try to defy me. Just remember, do your own thing, and as long as it doesn't piss me off, you'll be fine.
Psycho Jay: HAVE A GREAT DAY:-)
(The camera fades out..... back to the ring, where Nineteen people are just staring at one another.)
TB:FIGHT DAMN YOU!
DJ:Look! BJ Smith just tossed out Revolution by pushing him! Haha!
TB:BJ Smith is a nutcase, I'll say that right now!
Lorin:Look, Navvy and the Klassical One are battling it out in the corner... Mac D. comes over and tosses both of them over!!!
TB:Justin Payne... CLOTHESLINE sends Cross up and over the top!
DJ:Fate goes to eliminate Payne, but Payne ducks down, holding the top rope down, sending Fate over the top and to the outside!
Lorin:This is crazy! 6 men gone already!
TB:Look, Drop Top is chasing a hot dog salesman! He just went over the top rope and into the crowd, he just eliminated himself!
DJ:Paul Hanson is battling with Nucking Futs... Futs.. POWERBOMB OVER THE TOP SENDS HANSON OUT!
TB:This is crazy! 8 men gone in the matter of a minute!
Lorin:Fast pace action!
DJ:Axen charges Raven Nevermore... UP AND OVER GOES AXEN! Back body drop does the job!
Lorin:9 gone! And there goes Michael Porter! Thanks to Jason Blair!
DJ:And Ricky Coyote gets sent over top by BJ Smith, who just slapped Coyote across the mouth!
TB:11 gone already! We're down to Mac D., Jason Adams, Jason Blair, Justin Payne, Raven Nevermore, Will Rampage, Razorback, Nucking Futs, and BJ Smith!
DJ:Mac D. has Jason Adams... FALLEN ANGEL! Jason Adams flails as Mac D. sends him over the top!
Lorin:We're down to 8 men! Who's going to get the title show!
TB:Well... Raven Nevermore just sent Nucking Futs over the top, so it won't be him! From behind Nucking Futs is eliminated!
DJ:Down to 7 now! Who's your pick?
TB:I don't know, I think BJ Smith, because he's just lying in the corner, motionless.
Lorin:What about Razorback, he's been battling with Will Rampage all this time, and nothing has happened really...
TB:Wait... Razorback.. THE END! He has the dragon sleeper locked on.. and he just dropped Will Rampage into the mat!
DJ:Razorback grabs Will, and tosses him over the top!
TB:6! Six Men left!
Lorin:Jason Blair tosses Razorback over the top! But wait! Razorback lands on the apron and slides back in!
TB:Jason Blair is celebrating to the crowd... and Razorback tosses him over from behind!
DJ:BACK FIGHTER! BACK FIGHTER!
Lorin:Hahaha.. you would have done the same thing...
DJ:SO! I don't fight!
TB:Look! Raven Nevermore charges at Mac D... huge back body over the top eliminated Raven Nevermore!
DJ:We're down to Razorback, Mac. D, BJ Smith, and Justin Payne!
Lorin:Final four! The IML2's rookie final four! Razorback charges at Justin Payne, and look, Mac D. charges at a daydreaming BJ Smith!
TB:Brawl time! Razorback sends Justin Payne off the ropes, back off... Payne ducks under a clothesline... turned into an inverted DDT onto Razorback!
DJ:Payne starts stomping away at Razorback... Look, Mac D. just superbombed BJ Smith off the top rop!
Lorin:That wasn't a good position for them two to be in! I mean, it wouldn't take much to toss either man out!
TB:Payne is grabing at Razorback, and he's going to toss him out! No! Razorback lands on the apron.. and turns around! He grabs Payne from behind... INVERTED SUPLEX OUT OF THE RING! Justin Payne is gone!
Lorin:Look! Mac D. just nailed Razorback off the apron! We're down to the final two men!
DJ:Mac D. is resting in the corner, as BJ Smith is up...
(The lights go out in the arena... slowly, snow begins to fall... "Loco" by Coal Chamber is heard.)
TB:IT'S HIGH FLYER! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!!!!
DJ:Whatever it is, it involves BJ Smith! Let's listen in.
(The camera goes to a closeup view of Flyer and BJ Smith talking.)
Flyer:Hey man, you heard about my snow business...
BJ Smith:OF COURSE! I'd love to buy some!
Flyer:You would! Well, meet me in the back, and we'll discuss things around, ok?
Flyer:Ok! My first sale! This is great!
TB:Flyer just dropped off the apron... BJ Smith turns around... MAC D. CLOTHESLINES BJ Smith over the top and to the outside! Mac D. is your winner!
Chris Astro:You're winner of the newcomers battle royal.... MAC D.!!!!
("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit plays in the background as Mac D. has his hand raised. BJ Smith doesn't seem to care about the match, as he's following IWO Superstar High Flyer to the back!)
TB:I can't believe this! High Flyer has finally made a sale!
DJ:But it's to BJ Smith! Smith is a nutcase in his own right!
Lorin:You hear about Flyer almost being arrested for not registering the business! I know he has it registered now!
TB:But the big story is that Mac D. will get a title shot of his choosing! We've got to get to the next matchup!
("Come as you are" by Nirvana starts playing on the PA system and Brian Hunter, followed by Scott Hunter walks down the ramp and gets in the ring. "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill starts playing and Mike Stima followed by the End walks down to the ring. Each team moves into ther corners, and the bell rings.)
TB: It looks like this match is underway. Mike Stima and Scott Hunter are starting it off.
(Scott Hunter and Mike Stima lock up. MS uses all his power to force SH into a headlock. SH tries to move to his corner to make the tag, but MS puts his weight into it and keeps him from getting there. SH pulls MS bacfk into the ropes and shoves him off. MS bounces off the oppoite ropes and tries for a running big boot. Sh moves and MS gets caught up on the top rope. SH shakes the rope up and down forcing it into MS's MIDsection. SH bounces off the ropes and come back with a dropkick sending MS out of the ring. The End runs in, but is taken down with a spinning heel kick by Scott Hunter. Brian Hunter climbs to the top rope and dives off catching Mike Stima who is laying on the floor outside the ring with a Senton Bomb. Mike Stima lays lifeless on the ground as Brian Hunter kicks him repeatedly in the stomach.)
Lorin: Mike Stima has gotten off to a slow start here tonight.
DJ: He sucks. That's why. He's a fat ass.
TB: Well, all I know is the Hunters are dominating this match.
(Scott Hunter sets The End on the top rope and superplexes him onto the mat. Brian Hunter who was already perched on the top rope hits a frop splash on The End, and then rolls him out of the ring. The Hunters pose in the middle of the ring while the eastsiderz lay in pain on the arena floor. Mike Stima pulls himself up and climbs back into the ring. Scott Hunter tags Brian Hunter.)
TB: The 2 legal men now are Brian Hunter and Mike Stima.
(Brian Hunter whips Stima into the ropes and tries for a dropkick, but Stima moves out of the way and quickly lifts Hunter into the air with a goal post choke hold. Stima spins around and tosses Brian Hunter into his corner. Stima distracts the ref as The End chokes Brian Hunter with a camera chord. The End drops the chord and climbs into the ring. The End dropkicks Scott Hunter off the apron, sending him into the steel safety rail. The End climbs to the top rope, and Mike Stima grabs BH out of the corner. Stima lifts BH up into a suplex position, but the momentum takes BH on over. BH hits a neckbreaker on Mike Stima. Scott Hunter jumps onto the apron and shoves The End off the top rope. BH dropkicks the End who is sailing towards the ground. The End rolls out of the ring holding his stomach.)
Lorin: Well, it looks like the Eastsiderz' attempt at the Eastside jam was foiled by the Hunter's teamwork.
DJ: Yeah. They really screwed that up.
(Brian Hunter pulls Mike Stima into a powerbomb moveset. BH signals for the end as Scott Hunter climbs to the top rope. BH lifts MS up into a powerbomb position, and SH jumps off the top rope. Stima reverses and hits a
hurricanrana on BH. SH frogsplashes his OWN PARTNER!!! SH gets to his feet quickly as BH rolls to the outside. The End takes the opportunity and hooks a SharpsShooter on BH. SH and Mike Stima lock up.)
Lorin: This is an exciting match.
DJ: I've seen better.
TB: Well, have you ever saw 2 teams mess up their finishing moves? Back to back?
DJ: No, but I have seen 2 teams suck just as much as these 2. And believe me, these 2 teams suck!
TB: Whatever you say.
(MS whips SH into the corner, and powerslams him when he bounces out.)
(SH kicks out and scrambles to his feet. MS runs at him, but SH hits a belly-to-belly suplex. SH tries for the pin.)
(MS kicks out, throwing SH over top of the ref. SH rolls to the other side of the ring and gets to his feet at about the same time as MS. They run toward each other, and both of them try for a clothesline. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! The ref starts his count.)
(ON the outside, The End breaks the sharpshooter and slides into the ring. He Picks SH up and Tombstones him. TE makes a cover.)
(BH climbed into the ring and kicked TE. BH keeps kicking him until from behind MS grabs him. MS lifts him up, and HITS THE BOG BASTARD BOMB! Before he can capitalize on it, SH jumps up and powerbombs MS. TE gets up. It's down to The End and Scott Hunter.)
TB:The End grabs Scott Hunter from behind... GERMAN SUPLEX! With a bridge! 1-2-3! He caught Scott Hunter by surprise! The Eastsiderz are number one contenders to the IML2 Tag team championships!
DJ:The Eastsiderz! What's with the z at the end of their name???(Long pause)
TB: Next up we've got a match between two relative newcomers to the IML2, Mac D and Navvy.
DJ: I gotta go with Mac D in this one, just because Navvy is a stinky fisherman.
Lorin: Ewww, stinky fish smell.
DJ: Ha, like you're not familiar with that...
Lorin: I'm clean you ass hole, too bad you'll never find out.
TB: Hey can we stop bitch slapping Duce and get on with this match.
DJ: Yeah, hopefully it won't last that long I got some hookers waiting for me after this thing ends.
Lorin: Figures you'd have to pay for women you loser.
DJ: Yeah but why pay when I can have your ass for free...
Lorin: You'll never have me.
TB: Ok Ok OK! Navvy's on his way out.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall!!!! Introducing first, hailing from Liverpool, England, standing at 6'7" and weighing in at 324 pounds........here is...........NAVVY!!!!!!!
("Bound 4 Da Reload" by DJ Oxide and MC Neutrino plays as Navvy comes out. The fans boo him and throw trash at him.)
DJ: Jesus Christ that has to be the ugliest son of a bitch I've ever seen!
Lorin: That is sick.
TB: He's been living in the docks of Liverpool all his life guys, he's had a rough time.
DJ: Well he's in the IML2 now he should be able to afford plastic surgery, I mean come on even Lorin wouldn't touch him.
Lorin: For once I agree.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Irving, Texas, standing at 6'3" and weighing 235 pounds, here is..............MAC D!!!!!
("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit blasts as Mac D comes out to a big pop.)
TB: Wow the fans are really behind Mac D.
DJ: Well that's because Mac D actually conducted a few interviews this past week so the fans actually know who he is. This Navvy guy hasn't been heard from in weeks so all these fans are seeing is an ugly English guy with no teeth.
Lorin: Navvy may be disgusting, but he has a huge size advantage over Mac D.
DJ: How would you know?
TB: I think she was talking about physical size Duce, Navvy is 6'7", over 300 pounds, Mac D is 6'3" and only 235. WAIT! Mac D just attacked Navvy from behind! Navvy is backed into the corner with a series of rights and lefts from Mac! Navvy blocks a punch and grabs Mc by the head.....
DJ: DAMN! Navvy just tossed him half way across the ring by the throat!
Lorin: I told you Navvy has the advantage.
TB: Not anymore, Mac D just caught him with a nasty low blow! Now Mac D picks him up and sends him to the ropes, HURRICANRANA! INTO A PIN! 1..............2..............THREEEEEEENO!!! Navvy barely kicked out!
DJ: Damnit, just end this match and send Navvy back to England.
TB: It looks like he's going to! Mac D gets Navvy up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry! He's spinning him, THE FALLEN ANGEL(TKO)!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL!!! It's over! 1............2...............THREEEEEEE!!!!!!
DJ: Thank god!
Lorin: That sucks for Navvy.
DJ: Well Navvy should maybe try a little harder, but right now I'm glad! One step closer to my hookers!
TB: Navvy is still out on the ring. He really got TKOed. Mac D's already heading to the back with this victory under his belt. That was very impressive to take out the likes of the Navvy is such a short match.
DJ: Oh no! Look out here comes Commish Jay and the IWO World Champion Psycho Jay!
Lorin: Now he's someone I'd like to get to know better.
DJ: Gold digger.
TB: Commish Jay and Psycho Jay are in the ring, the Commish has a mic!
Commish Jay: Navvy.....you are PATHETIC! You are lucky enough to have a match signed at the biggest event of the month and you don't ever say a word about it? You are a waste of SPERM! I swear if Ford signs you to another match and your slacker ass doesn't conduct an interview your gonna be fishing for disease infested fish for your entire life! You don't even deserve to live, let alone be in the IML2! Now consider this a warning to you and everyone! If you can't hold your goddamn weight around here then get the hell out! Now, Jay, do your thing.
(Psycho Jay grabs Navvy's head and begins humping it vigorously! Navvy starts to struggle and Jay gets pissed.)
DJ: Oh no, he shouldn't have struggled.
TB: Navvy is the same size as Jay, but The IWO Champ is manhandling him!
Lorin: Ohhhhhh baby.
DJ: Oh god Lorin's about to cream herself.
TB: Is that possible?
Lorin: DEFINITELY! AAAHHHHHH.
DJ: Jay's beating Navvy unmercifully!
TB: He's dragging him to the top ropes.......SUPERBOMB! SUPERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH THE EBONICS ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!
DJ: Oh no! What are all the jiggas, hustlas, bustas, and homies gonna do now!
Lorin: He is so hot!
TB: Now Psycho Jay is humping Navvy's head again! This time Navvy's not moving, he's completely out!
DJ: OH MY GOD! JAY'S HUMPING THE EBONICS ANNOUNCER'S HEADS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TB: That is rather funny.
DJ: He's coming over here!
Lorin: ahhhhh <faints>
(Psycho jay starts humping Tom Baines' head!)
DJ: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEAH JAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Jay turns and humps Duce Johnson's head!)
TB: Not funny is it!
(Jay wakes up Lorin, whispers something in her ear and leaves.)
TB: Commish Jay is not messing around with this thing folks, he's got Psycho Jay to back him up too!
DJ: Damn straight, Psycho Jay's the man.
TB: Hold on, Mac D's just been attacked in the back!
(In the back BJ Smith and Mac D are going shot for shot! Security is trying to break them up but they're at each other's throats.)
TB: These two exchanged heated words recently and now they've crossed paths and are going nuts on each other!
DJ: Yeah that's a hot feud brewing. Hey Lorin what did Psycho Jay tell you?
DJ: Sure.....I think Lorin's gonna be walking bow legged tomorrow!
TB: Oh man.
Justin Payne vs. Will Rampage
TB:Well, welcome back to May Mayhem, we're ready for Justin Payne to go one on one with Will Rampage.
DJ:Didn't Rampage win the IML T.V. title before?
Lorin:Yeah, he gloats about it.
DJ:Then why is he in the IML2! I thought we were "lower" than the IML!
TB:Well, I don't know. Don't ask me!
Chris Astro:This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Indianapolis, Indiana... he weighs in tonight at 215 pounds, and is accompanied to the ring by Ashley Burrgen! He is the master of "Payne in the Neck," a top rope rock bottom! Here is Justin Payne!
("No Payne, No Gain," a IML2 remix starts up as Justin Payne walks out from the back, recieving a fairly good response for a debut. Payne slides into the ring.)
Chris Astro:And his opponent, hailing from Sacramento, CA... he weighs in tonight at 262 pounds, and is the master of the Perfect Image... another top rope rock bottom, turned around! Here is WILL RAMPAGE!
("Faith" by Limp Bizkit plays over the pa system as out from the back runs Rampage. He slides into the ring.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
TB:Rampage and Payne go at each other with rights and lefts! Rampage pushes Payne into the corner, and takes him up top after a few rights! He's going for the Perfect Image, but Payne turns it into Payen in the Neck!!!
DJ:Both men fall down, because I think Rampage turned it into a downward spiral type move on the way down! Both men hit the canvas hard!
Lorin:Already! Payne hit his finisher, but can't capitalize!
DJ:Tell me when it's over...
TB:Duce! You can't sleep on the job!
(Duce puts his head down on the announce table.)
TB:Damnit! Payne up to his feet, so is Rampage, right hands some more, and Rampage goes low! Rampage hits Payne with a northern lights suplex!
Lorin:Rampage is on the control, as he picks up Payne, sends him off the ropes, clothesline sends Payne down to the mat. Rampage bounces off the ropes as well, and drops a quick elbow onto Payne!
TB:Cover, 1-2-NO! Payne gets a shouler up! This is pretty early.
Lorin:And look at Duce, already sleeping. I mean, we saw H2O die, Flyer sell some snow! Psycho Jay, and he's over here sleeping!
TB:Well, he is an idiot...(Woosh) OW! Something just kicked me....
Lorin:Look! Payne just rolled up a gloating Will Rampage... 1-2-3! Justin Payne quickly defeated Will Rampage! Payne slides out of the ring and bolts up the entrance ramp, as Will Rampage, the former IML television champion is pissed off beyond all belief!
Loser Leaves IML2
Snakehips Army vs. The Jersey Bros.
TB: Well, after those astounding match ups, I am surely ready for this bout we are having next. President Ford has signed a hell of a match here, next!
DJ: Not really, I don't know what was going through that crazy fucker's head when he wrote up the contract for this match.
Lorin: You can't say that! That's the man that pays your salary!
DJ: Fuck him, and the vagina that squeezed him out!
TB: DJ, we all know it's a PPV and all but...don't you think you should tone it down a bit?
DJ: Tone it down!? TONE IT DOWN!? Are you fucking crazy!? This is the one night, where we can say totally fucked up shit, and there's not a damn thing anyone can fucking do about it!
Lorin: I know I can...
[Lorin reaches below the announcer's table and brings out a giant pink dildo that weights approxiamlty 200 pounds.]
DJ: WOW, LORIN! I know where THAT has been!
[Lorin then, knocks the ever-loving shit our of DJ with that huge dildo that weighs about 200 pounds! DJ gets knocked clear out of his cheer and back, about 5 rows into the stands.]
TB: HOLY SHIT! Where did you get that!?
Lorin: Christmas present...
TB: Oh, I see.
[DJ comes slowly walks up back to the announcer's table, holding his bloddy nose and slowly swelling eye.]
DJ: Damn woman! I'm glad that thing was vibrating, you may have killed me!
Lorin: The batteryes are charging...
DJ: Well Lorin, why do YOU of all people, need a dildo? You know, you can always ride my bologna pony.
Lorin: Sorry hun but, I got to feel SOMETHING!
DJ: Belive me woman, anyone that takes a ride on the "DJ Weapon", has never complained!
Lorin: That's because you pay them to keep their mouths shut about your 1¼ inch penis!
TB: I second that!
Lorin: Don't belive me?
DJ: That's bullshit! Belive me ladies, I do not have a 1¼ inch penis. I CAN ASURE YOU OF THAT!
Lorin: Oh really? Tony, roll the clip!
[Tony, the guy working the IWOtron, rolls some footage.]
Lorin: You'll love this.
[It's of DJ with a ruler measuring a very small apendage sticked out of his pelvis.]
DJ: SON OF A BITCH! 1¼ inches!?!?! That can't be!? What the hell is wrong here? That excersise shit isn't working! Just wait a minutes..
[DJ pulls out a book entitled, "You Penis And You".]
DJ- *from the book* To increase penis size...do 40 crunches twice a day for 3 monthes. Well shit, I have done that, and no results! This is bullshit!
[DJ throws down the book.]
Lorin: Ok Tony, that's enough.
[DJ is sitting with jaw on the floor with the entire arena laughing their asses off at him.]
DJ: That is...such horse shit! That wasn't me!
Lorin: Oh, it wasn't? Do I need to roll the footage again?
DJ: NO! NO! Ok, Lorin...this is illegal and let me tell you, I am going to sure your ass for the pennies that you earned on your street corner last night!
Lorin: That really hurts...stumpy!
TB: AHAHAHH! How's it hanging, DJ? Oh wait...I FORGOT! AHAHAHAH!!
DJ: You're not funny, TB.
Lorin: I thought it was pretty histarical.
DJ: You would...bitch.
[Then suddenly, Psycho Jay's manager, Vincent, steps out from under the IML2tron and walks down to the announcer's booth.]
Vincent: AHAHA! YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ASS CUNT HOLE BITCH MOTHER FUCKER HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING 1¼ INCH COCK THAT YOU FUCKING CAN'T EVEN MOTHER FUCKING SEE YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKING DYKE!
[Vincent then whips out his behemoth of a pecker, and begins to pound on DJ with it. It's all flopping
around and the fans are watching utter horror as DJ, begins to bleed from "prick shots" from Vincent's large cock.]
Vincent: YOU STUPID ASS BITCH FUCKING SLUT TRAMP MOTHER FUCKING WHORE. YOU NEED TO MOTHER FUCKING FUCKING LEARN THAT FUCKING VINCENT HAS A FUCKING HUGE ASS FUCKING PRICK AND THAT FUCKING YOUR FUCKING ASS BITCH FUCKING CLIT WILL NEVER FUCKING HAVE A FUCKING COCK AS FUCKING BIG AS FUCKING VINCENT'S!
[Vincent then slaps DJ in the head with the head of his penis and then walks back up the ramp.]
TB: Well, now, to the subject at hand. It's time for that "Loser Leaves IML2 Match" between The Snakehips Army, and the Jersey Bros.
DJ: Who gives a rat's lily gray ass?
Lorin: Well, I do. And anyways, what's your prediction for the match TB?
TB: Well, I would have to say...The Snakehips Army. G.I.Bro and Junior "Snakehips" Johnson make a great tag team, and with so much on the line tonight, I think that The Snakehips Army has this one in the bag.
Lorin: I have to agree with you there. I think the Snakehips Army is going to wrap this match up...quick.
DJ: I think that you can both suck my 1¼ errr...doh!!
TB: Sometimes you never seem to amaze me at home damn ignorant you can be. But anyways, let's get to the match at hand!
Announcer: Introducing first, from The US Army, and from NASCAR Racing...at a combined weight of over a metric ton and with a combined height of nearly 16'...G.I. BRO AND JUNIOR "SNAKEHIPS" JOHNSON....THE
["Grenade In My Pants" by the Cow Bench Pressers hits on the PA system and G.I. Bro and Junior Johnson walk
down the ramp with a good pop from the crowd.]
Announcer: And lastly. From New Jersey, at a combined weight of 494 pounds and a combined height of 12'8"...JASON BLUNT, AND MIKE NORTH....THE JERSEY BROS.!!!!
[Jason Blunt and Mike North step out from underthe IML2tron as "Supernova Goes Pop" plays on the PA. The two slowly walk down the ramp, and climb into the ring.]
*Ding, Ding, Ding*
Lorin: This match has started!! What's that!?! G.I.Bro has a...lead pipe!? WHAT IN THE HELL!? G.I.Bro just knocked the shit out of the ref, in the back of the head...with that lead pipe! And, the ref is out like a light!
DJ: DAMN! I have heard of cleaning someone's clock but jeez, G.I. Bro probably just literally, knocked the shit straight out of the ref!
TB: And now, G.I. Bro is going crazy with that lead pipe! He knocks the hell out of Jason Blunt! Now Mike North! Both of the Jersey Bros. are out cold! And look! Junior "Snakehips" Johnson, is reaching under the ring apron....HE BRINGS OUT A LADDER!!!
DJ: Oh yes. Busines...has...picked up!
Lorin: JSJ tosses that ladder in the ring and G.I.B. sets it up in the corner! JSJ now, he whips Jason Blunt into the ladder and gets down on his knees infront of Blunt. G.I.B. now, runs at JSJ and...springboard splash to Jason Blunt on that ladder!!
TB: And now, Mike North is back on his feet and he catches a shot to the stomach with that steel ladder,
followed by a shot to the face! North now, is a bleeding from a but in his forehead. And check it
out! Now, JSJ is below the ring apron again and he pulls out...a table...a box of matches, and a gas can! OH NO!!
DJ: Oh yes! FINALLY!
Lorin: The table is now set up in the ring and JSJ is covering it in gasoline. He stikes a match...WE HAVE BURNING TABLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!! Now, G.I.B. takes Mike North to the top turnbuckle...TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE BURNING TABLE!!! JEEZ!!
DJ: Ah....I love the smell of hardcore wrestling in the morning...
TB: Now, G.I.B. is choking Jason Blunt with that lead pipe, while Junior Johnson has that ladder and is slamming it on the face of Mike North! Both members of Jersey Bros. are now a bloody mess! Oh but wait, this isn't over!
DJ: Hell no it's not over! JSJ is under teh ring apron for a third time, and he pulls out...a roll of barbed wire!? YIPPE! THE BARBED WIRE IS OUT, THE TABLES ARE OUT, THE LADDERS ARE OUT...hold on...I feel
a tear coming...
Lorin: JSJ is wrapping that roll of barbed wire around Mike North and around Jason Blunt! Look at that
intensly sharp wire cut into their skin! It's almost unbearable! And now, JSJ is "whipping", if you will, both men, with that barbed wire!!
TB: Meanwhile, G.I. Bro goes outside the ring, and tosses in...a peice of the guard rail!? G.I.B. just tossed in a peice of the security railing!! And he sets it up in the corner. Now, JSJ Irish whips Mike North into G.I. Bro and, G.I.B. gives him a drop toe hold, directly onto that section of railing!
DJ: This is chaos! This is insane. This is, the IML2!!
Lorin: And now, G.I.B. rolls Mike North out of the ring and JSJ gives Jason Blunt, a spinebuster onto the
guard railing, and he bends right in half! The railing bent right in half, under the power of that slam!! And it makes me wonder...are Jason Blunt and Mike North even alive right now?
TB: More than lifely not. And now, G.I. Bro is starting to slam Mike North's head repeatidly on the ring and post and now gives him a hiptoss onto the floor at ringside! Now, G.I. Bro goes under the ring apron and brings out...THE GOOD OLE STEEL CHAIR!!
DJ: Bah! Steel chair! So, old now.
Lorin: But still effective because, G.I. Bro is beating Mike North to a pulp with that chair and...what is JSJ doing?
DJ: What does it look like wench? He is setting up that ladder inside the ring while, G.I. Bro holds that steel chair over Mike North's face!
TB: JSJ goes soaring off of the top of the ladder, and drop kicks that chair right into the face of Mike North! Now, Mike North, flips over the guard rail, and into the stands!!
Lorin: But wait, Jason Blunt is making a little bit of movement in the ring. Well, at least we know he is still alive.
Lorin: And now, JSJ is back in the ring with Jason Blunt, as G.I. Bro continues to beat Mike North like a read-headed-step child, outside the ring. JSJ now, is hammering away on Jason Blunt with right hands. And
he grabs the roll of barbed wire, and begins to choke Jason Blunt with it!!
DJ: Good strategy.
Lorin: What strategy is that?
DJ: Hurt your opponent as much as possible...
Lorin: *mumbles* What a total stupid ass...
TB: What a sec! G.I. Bro is bringing Mike North over here! What is G.I. Bro doing!?
G.I. Bro: Exucse me.
[G.I. Bro reaches beneath the announcer's table and brings out that giant dildo that Lorin had earlier.]
G.I. Bro: Just need it for a second!
DJ: Uh oh...I'm not sure I want to see this...
TB: G.I. BRO IS NOW, BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF MIKE NORTH WITH A GIGANTIC DILDO OF LORIN'S! MIKE NORTH IS NOW, JUST TOO WEAK TO MOVE! HE IS JUST LAYING THERE WHILE G.I. BRO BEATS HIM WITH THAT HUGE PLEASURE TOY!
DJ: Ahahahah! This is a hell of a sight to see.
Lorin: G.I. Bro tosses MY toy into the ring, and allows Junior Johnson to beat the shit out of Jason Blunt with it!! Blunt now, and Mike North...are knocked out from those shots with my giant dildo!!
DJ: I bet they enjoyed that...I know I would...
TB: And G.I. Bro is outside the ring, and he locks on a figure four leg lock to Mike North!! There's nothing North can do about it, the ref is still unconsious!
DJ: DID YOU HEAR THAT!? G.I. BRO JUST BROKE THE LEG OF MIKE NORTH!! THE BONE IS POKNG THROUGH HIS PANT'S LEG!!
Lorin: WAIT! NOW, G.I. BRO LOCKS ON A KEY LOCK TO MIKE NORTH!! HE ISN'T LETTING UP!!
Lorin: G.I. BRO JUST BROKE THE ARM OF MIKE NORTH!! THIS IS CRAZY! G.I. BRO JUST BROKE AN ARM AND A LEG OF MIKE NORTH! AND BRO IS IN THE RING AND GOING FOR JASON BLUNT!!
TB: BRO NOW, HE PUTS JASON BLUNT IN THE FIGURE FOUR!!!
TB: JASON BLUNT'S BONE IS JABBING THROUGH THE SKIN!! G.I. BRO HAS NOW BROKEN A BONE OF BOTH MEMBERS OF THE JERSEY BROS.!!!
DJ: THIS IS GREAT! Go Bro!!
Lorin: Not for the Jersey Bros., it isn't!! Junior Johnson lifts Jason Blunt up....G.I. Bro is on the top rope...he leaps...ARMY BITE!!!!! ARMY BITE!!!
TB: NOW, G.I. BRO SNAPS THE ARM OF JASON BLUNT WITH THE ARMY BAR!!! And, JJ wakes up the ref! The ref is staggering he sees Jason....JASON TAPS!!
DJ: WHAT A PUSSY!
Lorin: Jason Blunt taps, and the ref sees it! This match is over with! The Jersey Bros., are going to have to leave, the IML2!! That's unpresidented, the beating that The Snakehips Army just delivered to The Jersey Bros.
TB: It damn sure was...
[Vincent then walks down to the ring with the EMT's. The EMT's help Jason Blunt and Mike North onto stretchers.]
Vincent: YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING ASS BITCH FUCKING CUNT SLUTS! VINCENT'S GONNA FUCKING BEAT YOUR SORRY MOTHER FUCKING ASS RAPING CLIT ASSES BITCHES!
[Vincent then whips out his huge schlong and starts beating the hell out of Mike North and Jason Blunt.]
Vincent: THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET YOU FUCKING FUCK ASS BITCHES THAT LICK ON A DEAD FUCKING MONKEY CLIT YOU STUPID ASS BITCH WHORES!
DJ: Oh jeez...
Lorin: Wow! Did you see the size of that thing!?
TB: How could you not?
[Vincent walks over to Lorin.]
Vincent: HEY CUNT! LATER YOU CAN FUCKING SUCK ON VINCENT'S FUCKING HUGE ASS MOTHER FUCKING GIANT ASS COCK THEN, YOU CAN FUCKING GET FUCKED BY MY FUCKING HUGE ASS FUCKING PENIS UNTIL TO FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING PASS OUT!?
Vincent: FUCKING GREAT YOU FUCKING BITCH! VINCENT WILL FUCKING PICK YOUR FUCKING BITCH ASS WHORE SLUT ASS UP AT FUCKING 7 O' CLOCK O-MOTHER-FUCKING-K?
Vincent: ALL-FUCKING-RIGHT! HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING GREAT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUCKING DAY!
[Vincent then walks up the ramp, slamming his monstrous cock into the side of one of the EMT's that is helping Mike North and Jason Blunt, up the ramp.]
DJ: He just called you a "mother fucking whore" and you're going to go out with him?
Lorin: He knows how to treat a lady, DJ.
DJ: He just called you every name in the fucking book!
Lorin: Ok well, maybe he doesn't. But he has a giant damn dick so...
DJ: Oh, this is about that 1¼ inch thing isn't it?
Hardcore Title Match
Shawn Arrows v God
DJ:Here we are at the the hardcore title match at cemetary gates! This match should be phenominal! Shawn Arrows a former IML2 Gimmick champion to the IML2 takes on IML2 Veteran God!
TB:Well im going with arrows too he is upcoming and he can try to do anything to prove himself to his new federation, so i'm looking towards arrows to win this match-up here tonight.
Lorin:This match should be one to remember! Many suprises have been coming and going and i have a feeling something may happen in this match-up! For instance if the camera looks above, you will see a scaffold, that earlier Shawn Arrows and God met up and decided on! Check out the footage.
(In the back locker hours before the PPV Shawn arrows and god run into each other and have a confrintation.)
Shawn Arrows:Well why not up the anti? Hardcore Scaffold match eh, if your so hardcore?!
God:Oh what a beautiful sky, i guess i'll get closer! Your on!
Shawn Arrows:I'll prove i am the true Ironman!
God:God doesn't like wasting his time with petty mortals...
(With that Arrows throws a right punch and God throws one back as security gets to them before anything big starts up pre- match.)
Lorin:Thats some pretty heavy stuff' shawn arrows and god heating up and throwing fists before the match got off of it's feet. Lets cut to the top of the scaffold!
(The camera is on the scaffold, this scaffold is not normal. It is the size of a normal ring with various weapons on it. Under the scaffold in the ring are tables. the scaffold is 25 feet up and the wires holding it up are electrical barbed wire ropes.)
TB:WOW! These two men are sure in for a match of there lives! Lets go to the match!
(Ironman by black sabbath begins to play over the speakers, the fans get to there feet and begin to cheer.)
Announcer:Introducing first, the challenger, from greensburo north carolina, weighing in at two hundred and thirty four pounds, standing at six foot three inches, the mast of the arrow shot ddt! Shawn Arrooooooooooooows!
Lorin:And here is the rookie shawn arrows, he is pumped for this match!
TB:I can tell he has a lot of determination in him!
DJ:Yeah i have a feeling he means lots of business!
(Shawn arrows walks out and the fans go crazy he walks to the ring as he is presented with a rope as he climbs up to the scaffold and looks around on it, he gives a small chuckle.)
(Vudo Child by jimi hendrix begins to play as the fans boo.)
Lorin:And now here he is! The IML2 Extreme champ, he went through hell to get this belt!
DJ:Nice joke! That wasnt that funny though. God had a hard fought battle when he won this title!
Announcer:Introducing second! Your IML2 Hardcore champion! Hailing straight from the gates of heaven! Standing in at six foot eight inches! Weighing two hundred and seventy eight pounds! The master of The Big Leg Drop! He is Goooooooooooooood!
(The fans boo louder as he comes out smiling with a white trench coat on. They throw him a rop he has a cord as it appears he flies up but really doesn't. He takes his jacket off and drops it off. He looks at arrows and
laughs. Arrows looks around a flips the bird.)
Lorin:Before the match it's heated up big time. God throws the title to the ground as it falls on the table.
Ding Ding Ding
Lorin:God runs to arrows and is met with a drop toe hold onto the electric barbed wire! God is already busted open!
DJ:Ha ha, weve already got some blood! Bleed more damnit! God shakes his head as he tries to get up and is drop kicked in the back of the head by arrows! God hits the pole again and is almost off of the scaffold he is
hanging onto the pole! He's gotta be in emmense pain! God is hanging on by one hand! Shawn arrows walks over and is pushing on his hand god almost off!
TB:Arrows is letting up now and walks over to a chair! Arrows has the chair goed is pulling himself to the actually scaffolding God manages to get up to the scaffold! Arrows swings the chair god ducks! Look at god's hands! Theyre bloody too as is his face!
DJ:God with a superkick to the chair! Shawn arrows hits the electric barbed wire! God laughs as arrows has the chair on his face, dropkick to the chair! Arrows' back is bloodied up too! God picks up arrows and gives him a low blow! DDT! Arrows is out cold! God walks over to a table and sets it up He picks up arrows swings him picks him up, release northern lights suplex onto the table!
TB:Shawn arrows isnt moving, God picks him up he looks like he is going to throw arrows off, arrows with a low blow! Front face buster god and arrows are out. Arrows has part of his body hanging over the side! Arrows is
showing movement he gets up in the middle of the ring and hits a leg drop to god and lays back down!
Lorin:Arrows has a little bit left in him! Arrows is just starting to get up while god is still down, arrows picks god, PILEDRIVER ONTO THE CHAIR! Did you guys see god's neck turn when he hit?!
TB:God damn! Arrows is pushing god to the edge, god is out!
DJ:God wont get up for a while!
Lorin:Arrows is setting a table up. He climbs a top, leg drop from the table! Shawn Arrows might be more hardcore then we think he is! Arrows picks up god boot to the stomach, POWERBOMB ON THE TABLE! HE NAILED GOD WITH THAT ONE!
DJ:Arrows picks god up, he is swinging him!
(He continues to swing him around and throws him off landing below onto all the tables crashing down, dust flies up as a few tables break and fall.)
Lorin:Oh my god! Arrows has won god could be injured!
(Ironman by black sabbath plays, but the lights go out when arrows is presented the title. The fans go wild.)
DJ:Awwwww, waaaaa waaa waaa!
(Lights come back on!)
Lorin:OH MY GOD! THATS PHYRE FROM THE IWO!
DJ:He's attacking arrows!
TB:Arrows called himself the Ironman! Phyre hits a Phyreplex! Arrows goes down! He landed in the tables!
(Ironman plays again!)
Lorin:Listen to these fans they are erupting!
(EMT's come out to help both men!)
Lorin:Phyre is smiling!
Announcer:Your winner and new IML2 Hardcore champion Shawn Arrows!
Lorin:The damage is done!
Winner-New IML2 Hardcore Champ Shawn Arrows!
13 Ring of Tables Match
J.J. Nuclear vs. LiGiL
TB: What a night it has been here at Cemetery Gates, and it's only going to get hotter!
DJ: How can it get any hotter! It's got to be at least ninety in here! And look what's sitting next to me...
Lorin: Hey, that was a decent compliment. No sexist remarks, nothing.
DJ:Well, I'm trying not to get slapped right now... this heat does a number on you skin.
Lorin: I know! My makeup probably looks horrible right now...
DJ: That's not your makeup...
DJ: DAMNIT! Stupid impulsiveness!
TB: GUYS! Even though you two bickering all night would probably get more ratings than the IML2 wrestlers can, let's get on with the show!
DJ:He's right you know, they tune in to see us.
Lorin:You me to see me...
TB:GUYS! We've got Nuclear and LiGil ready to get it on! They are waiting on us!
DJ & Lorin:Sorry...
(Fade into the ring. Chris Astro stands there in a black suit with the mic.)
Chris Astro:This next match at Cemetery Gates is a 13 Ring of Table elimination matchup! The winner of this match is the man who drives his opponent through more of the 13 official tables sitting around ringside than his opponent. Introducing first, from parts unknown.. and weighing in at 260 pounds... the master of the time Bomb... give it up for J.J. Nuclear!
("Time Bomb" by Godsmack begins to play as out from the back walks Nuclear. He recieves a luke warm response, as Gunnar Smith follows him. They get into the ring.)
Chris Astro:And his opponent, he is a former IML2 Atlantic Champion, and now competes in the IWO... he hails from Portland, Oregon and weighs in tonight at 245 pounds. Here is the master of the Palindrome... here is LiGiL!!!
("No Leaf Clover" by Metallica plays as LiGiL walks out to a warm response from the fans. He makes his way out to the ring, as Nuclear jaw jacks with him.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
TB:And there's the bell, as LiGiL slides in. Nuclear charges at LiGiL with a forearm shot, but LiGiL ducks. Nuclear turns around, right hands by LiGiL, shoot off the ropes... back off, Nuclear ducks a forearm of LiGiL, off again, ducks under a back elbow, double clothesline by Nuclear and LiGiL!
Lorin:Fast fury of fighting between the two competitors. Nuclear to his feet a step quicker than LiGiL, pushing LiGiL into the corner. Nuclear layes it in on LiGiL with a huge chop to the chest!
DJ:I heard that all the way up here!
TB:Nuclear grabs LiGiL, irish whip out of the corner, no, reversal by LiGiL. Nuclear gets sent in, LiGiL charges. Jump over by Nuclear, waist lock on LiGiL, attempt at German suplex, no go, block by LiGiL.
DJ:Go behind by LiGiL, into a inverted headlock, reverse ddt by LiGiL sends Nuclear into the canvas!
TB:LiGiL slides outside, going for the lumber early. LiGiL grabs one of the tables and throws it into the ring. Nuclear is slowly getting to his feet, as LiGiL slides in.
Lorin:Both up at the same time, Nuclear charges at LiGiL, LiGiL goes for a hip toss through the set up thrown in table, but Nuclear counters, drops LiGiL's head down and flips off of it!
TB:Nuclear showing somes skills, but LiGiL grabs Nuclear and knocks him square down into the canvas with a huge short arm clothesline!
DJ:LiGiL is mad about something, as he fully sets up the halfway set up table. LiGiL throws the table into the corner, so that it's hanging on the top rope.
Lorin:LiGiL has Nuclear, but Nuclear nails LiGiL with a sharp eye gouge. Nuclear grabs LiGiL, northern lights suplex! Opposite way of the table. Nuclear is now in control!
TB:Nuclear goes over to LiGiL, and picks him up. He's going to whip him into the corner, but LiGiL reverses it, Nuclear another reversal by grabing LiGiL by the midsection... LiGiL in mid-air... SPINEBUSTER THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 1, LiGiL 0!
DJ:NUCLEAR IS AHEAD A FALL!
Lorin:You mean a table!
TB:LiGiL is definitly hurting, and see! Nuclear slides out of the ring! He's going to try to put LiGiL in a hole, and capitalize on a prone man!
DJ:Nuclear slides in another table that was set up on the outside of the ring. It's caught on the top rope.
Lorin:LiGiL is still down in the rubble of table in the corner.
TB:Nuclear slides back in, and he's signaling for it! He's setting up the table parrellel to the turnbuckle, and now picks up LiGiL. A couple of shots, and he sets the wobbly LiGiL in front of the table...
DJ:Nuclear hops up to the top... TIME BOMB(Moonsault turned inverted DDT) POSSIBLY!
Lorin:THAT'S IT! TIME BO.. NO! LiGiL caught him! Almost like a tombstone... WHEELBARREL SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE!
Chris Astro: J.J. Nuclear 1, LiGiL 1
TB: And we are all tied up once more!
DJ: It's like a brand new match!
Lorin:But this brand new match has both men out in the ring! They are both down, and it's no wonder why!
TB: LiGiL is slowly trying to get to his feet, and he wisely doesn't go out for another table... He picks up a prone Nuclear, and... drops him stomach first onto his knee!
Lorin:Rib breaker I guess.
DJ: LiGiL drops a quick elbow onto Nuclear, and now is just punching Nuclear repeatedly. When a man's down, punch him...
Lorin:That's not very fair.
DJ: But it's effective.
TB: And you have to realize that Nuclear would do it if LiGiL was down, so you have to stay one step ahead of this game.
DJ: Nuclear shoves LiGiL off. LiGiL goes for a quick elbow, but Nuclear rolls out of the way. Nuclear is regaining his senses, as LiGiL charges... leap frog by Nuclear, back off, belly to belly suplex by J.J. Nuclear!
TB: LiGiL is holding his back as J.J. grabs his arms, and goes for another irish whip. LiGiL reverses it, and sends Nuclear off the ropes... back off... BACK BODY DROP UP AND OVER TOP!
Lorin:LOOK! Nuclear held on to the top rope, saving himself from going through a table. He doesn't want LiGiL to have the advantage this early in the match!
DJ:Nuclear is getting to his feet, LiGiL hasn't seen him, but Nuclear grabs LiGiL from behind in an inverted ddt fashion, but what the hell is he going to do?
TB:J.J. Nuclear is going for an inverted suplex over the top and through a table on the outside no! LiGiL won't let him, as he's blocking the suplex. LiGiL is using all his strength, and pulls Nuclear up and over the top! Nuclear lands on his feet though, and runs off the other side, back off, shoulder block!
DJ:Neither man budged!
Lorin:Nuclear back off the ropes, shoulder block, again, neither man budges!
TB:Nuclear is sick of this, kick to the gut of LiGiL, pushing him into the ropes, and back off. LiGiL off the other side, underneath a clothesline from Nuclear, back off, crossbody block! Nuclear tosses him off, and gets up quickly arm drag takeover into an arm bar.
Lorin:I think Nuclear's wined, and needs to rest up before he mounts some more offense.
DJ:No, why else would he do a rest hold? Slut .
DJ:OW! That hurt! I'm just trying to keep the audience entertained!
Lorin:Oh, ok, I got you now. So, calling me names is entertaining
DJ:Well, it gets the IWO's ratings up, doesn't it?
TB:Guys! Nuclear is out of the rest hold position, and has LiGiL in a side headlock bulldog on the IWO Superstar LiGiL!
DJ:Nuclear is in firm control but LiGiL is up from behind waist lock floatover german suplex!
TB:Nuclear landed on the back of his head there!
Lorin:LiGiL is up, and grabs the recovering Nuclear from behind, and LiGiL JUST TOSSED NUCLEAR OVER THE TOP!
TB:Nuclear just went through a table! Nuclear went through a table!
DJ:This is chaos! LiGiL is still trying to recover his wind in the ring, as Nuclear lays in table wreckage outside the ring
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 1, LiGiL 2!!!
Lorin:The big thing is that LiGiL is up a table!
TB:That's true! He's lucky Nuclear went through one of the official tables. It has to be the official tables outside of the ring. Other tables don't count.
DJ:Look! LiGiL slides out of the ring, and picks up Nuclear kick to the gut POWERBOMB THROUGH ANOTHER TABLE!!!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 1, LiGiL 3!
TB:LiGiL has just gone up two tables on Nuclear in the matter of seconds!
DJ:If LiGiL keeps dishing out the punishement, then we know for sure that he's going to win .
Lorin:LOOK! It's G-Dogg Gunnar Smith! They're fighting this Sunday at May Mayhem, but Gunnar isn't waiting till then! Gunnar grabs LiGiL . DOGGINATOR THROUGH A TABLE!!!
TB:Wait! Does that count as a fall for Nuclear!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 2, LiGiL 3!
DJ:There you go Bainsy! LiGiL's just up a table, but it sure doesn't seem like he is up that much at all!
TB:Can you believe this though? High Flyer, Psycho Jay, Vincent, and now G-Dogg! All here at Cemetery Gates! The IML2 is getting huge!
DJ:Hell, Cedric Cinder, the Klassical One, and Silverchair all got into the IWO!
Lorin:Where the hell did Gunnar go anyway? The fans popped for him after that happened!
TB:I don't know! All I know is that he came here and did his damage, just like Psycho Jay, and well, I don't know if Flyer CAN do damage anymore
DJ:Look! It's High Flyer! He's trying to sell some more snow!
TB:He's looking at the fallen men, and he shrugs his shoulders, and he's leaving through the crowd!
Lorin:Nuclear is slowly getting to his feet, and I don't think he even knows what just happened here! He sees a dead LiGiL on the outside, and goes to him He picks up LiGiL, onto his shoulders DVD THROUGH A TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 3, LiGiL 3!
TB:Look! Nuclear is looking around wondering how the hell he has three falls! And look! Nuclear is pulling out another table!
DJ:Is this an official one?
TB:I don't think so, but he's setting it over an official one
Lorin:NO! Before he could put it on top of the official one, LiGiL low blows Nuclear! Nuclear is hunched over BRAINBUSTER BY LIGIL THROUGH THE UNOFFICIAL TABLE!!!
TB:But that doesn't count!
TB:He doesn't know that's unofficial! Nuclear drug it out! Remember?
Lorin:LiGiL is wondering what the hell is going on but he now sees what happened LiGiL is piised! He just stacked official tables on top of one another! And look! Another one on top of that! Three on top of one another! Dear god!
TB:LiGiL is crazy! He just realized what happened with this entire match! LiGiL throws Nuclear back inside the ring, and look, he's looking under the ring for something!
DJ:It's . BARBED WIRE! Barbed wire! LiGiL slides in, and he just clotheslined Nuclear with the barbed wire!
Lorin:Dear god! LiGiL has a temper!
TB:LiGiL picks up Nuclear, and he's going up top . PALINDROME THROUGH THREE TABLES! PALINDROME THROUGH THREE TABLES! DEAR GOD! DEAR GOD NO!
DJ:Oh my lord!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 3 LiGiL 6!!!
Lorin:If Nuclear gets driven through one more table, LiGiL is the winner of this match!
TB:It doesn't matter! Both LiGiL and Nuclear are out after that huge move through three tables!
DJ:Wait! Look! LiGiL is slowly getting to his feet but I don't think he knows where he is!
TB:Oh now he does! LiGiL grabs another table, and is trying to rest his own body. He grabs Nuclear, and sets him up on top of it. LiGiL climbs up to the apron, and he's going to splash Nuclear through the table!
Lorin:NO! Nuclear is off, and he grabs LiGiL's foot, pulling him off the apron, and THROUGH the table!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 4 LiGiL 6!
TB:Nuclear is fighting for his life, when in reality, LiGiL should have won already!
DJ:Too late for shoulda's Bainsy.
Lorin:Look, Nuclear is going over to get a table of his own, and he picks up LiGiL off the wreckage
TB:Low blow by LiGiL, he's going to powerbomb Nuclear through the table! He lifts up Nuclear, no! Nuclear is fighting, and slips behind him. Waist lock from behind by Nuclear, Nuclear going for a bulldog, no! LiGiL tosses him, and somehow, Nuclear jumps over the table, but lands crotch first on the guardrail!
DJ:OW!!! Dear god! That's a lot of pain!!!
Lorin:You bet it is!
DJ:How would you know women!
TB:LiGiL has another table, and just tosses it at the prone Nuclear that is on the guardrail. He falls into the crowd.
DJ:LiGiL is going to try to put Nuclear away. LiGiL grabs Nuclear, and he's going to suplex Nuclear over the guardrail and through the table!
TB:NO! Nuclear is hooking onto the guardrail! You can see the guardrail rise, and now Nuclear shoves the guardrail into the stomach of LiGiL. Nuclear up onto the guardrail TIME BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!
Lorin:NUCLEAR HIT THE MOONSAULT DDT THROUGH A TABLE ONTO LIGIL!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 5 LiGiL 6!!!
TB:Nuclear has just made this match that much closer! LiGiL has to be shaken up!
Lorin:LiGiL has to be worrying about the match as well! He's just given up two quick table falls!
DJ:That's if he even knows there's a match going on!
TB:Duce is right. LiGiL's brain has to be rocked after that Time Bomb!
Lorin:Nuclear is getting to his feet, and he has a table set up on the guardrail and he whips LiGiL into it! Crashing!
Chris Astro:J.J. Nuclear 6, LiGiL 6!
TB:Oh boy! It's all tied up now!
DJ:I can't believe this intensity!
Lorin:Look! Nuclear has a smirk on his face
DJ:It's GUNNAR SMITH! What the hell is he doing out here! He's talking with Nuclear, and Nuclear grabs another table! What is going on! Nuclear takes LiGiL and sets him up on the last table!
TB:Don't tell me!
DJ:Vice President Gunnar Smith is going to drive LiGiL through the table!
Lorin:What's the difference between the VP and the wrestler?
DJ:Don't ask me Lorin! I just call the matches!
TB:Look! Gunnar is up on the top rope! He's pretty high up!
DJ:Nuclear is holding LiGiL in place for the high flying Vice President!
TB:Gunnar flies! WAIT! LiGiL slides off and pulls Nuclear onto the table, and holds him there!
Lorin:DEAR GOD! Vice President Gunnar Smith just drove J.J. Nuclear through a table with a top rope elbow! Dear god!
Chris Astro:Your winner, with a seven to six fall score LiGiL!
DJ:Gunnar Smith just cost J.J. Nuclear the match! When Nuclear comes to, he's not going to care for Gunnar that much anymore!
TB:I don't think anyone does much anymore!
DJ:Gunnar is trying to revive Nuclear on the outside as LiGiL walks away, victorious.
Lorin:Nuclear is getting to his feet, and he can't believe that LiGiL won because of Gunnar!
TB:NUCLEAR JUST GRABBED GUNNAR BY THE SUIT AND LIFTED HIM UP!
DJ:He's going to try to punch the Vice President!
Lorin:Look! It's Lance McNally to calm things down! He's got that huge match later tonight too! The buried alive match is going to take a lot out of him!
DJ:Nuclear drops Gunnar, finally! Some sense shown by Nuclear!
TB:NUCLEAR JUST COLD CLOCKED LANCE MCNALLY!
Lorin:AND NUCLEAR JUST SPEARED GUNNAR! Right hands over and over to the face of Gunnar Smith! I guess the New Era is done!
TB:Here come the security guards, all too soon if you ask me! Gunnar Smith deserves this!
DJ:Whatever the case, we're still got a pay per view to sell Next month that is
(The camera fades out to a preview for next months pay per view event. Camera's show footage from World War II, mostly from Germany, and Hitler's rise to power in black and white film. Nazi's are shown saluting to Hitler, as we see many men being brought into some type of chamber. "Die Viehisch Tag" pops onto the screen, as the entire camera feed cuts out.)
TB:Die Viehisch Tag? What does that mean!
DJ:Well, if you didn't know, that means the Brutal Days, in german of course Bainsy.
Lorin:What a fitting title to the next pay per view live from Berlin, Germany. Well, we know it's going to be Germany, Berlin however could still change if we can't have our needs accomidated
Vacant Atlantic Title Match
Special Time Machine Match
On special loan from High Flyer, pins count anywhere in time/history.
Guff Daddy vs. Cedric Cinder
DJ: Welcome back everyone... we are ready for our next match which is going to be a first in the IML2.
TB: Yes, it's going to be a Special Time Machine Match that the two competitors can go anywhere in time and have the match take place there.
Lorin: If they want to go back to the Stone Age with Dinosaurs... go right ahead!
DJ: Now, let's get to ringside.
["Devil's Dance" by Metallica plays loudly over the PA system, and Cedric Cinder makes his way down to the ring area. He makes it to the ring and pulls himself in. The crowd cheers slightly.]
[Rage Against the Machine's "Guerilla Radio" now plays... and the crowd waits for his arrival. He comes out from the backroom wit his manager JayDogg and walks down to ringside. He takes a look at the time machine and
then to Cedric Cinder. He hops into the ring and waits for the bell.]
[DING, DING, DING!]
TB: Here we go.
DJ: They lock up... and a headlock by CC. Guff takes him to the ropes and pushes him off. CC comes back with a clothesline, but reversed by Guff Daddy with a neckbreaker. Guff Daddy picks up Cedric and plants him with a
clothesline. Guff then goes a leg across the throat of Cedric.
Lorin: Cedric grabs his neck in pain. That must have hurt like a bitch.
TB: No kidding. Guff picks up Cedric, but Cedric pulls on the tights and he pulls him out of the ring. Cedric follows him out and then grabs a chair. Guff Daddy slowing picks himself up and WHACK! with the chair by Cedric Cinder. Guff falls to the floor!
Lorin: Oh no! Not yet! Geez... Cedric takes a look at the time machine. NOOOO! I don't want them to go anywhere!
DJ: Cedric picks up the body of Guff and whacks him in the head again. Guff falls to the floor and then is dragged across the ground to the time machine. WHACK again to the face of Guff.
Lorin: Cedric takes a look at the machine and sets it to 1812. Cedric throws Guff into the machine and then follows Guff in. He shuts the door, and POOF!
[Cedric and Guff end up in the time of the War of 1812. Cedric looks up from the myst, and he sees bullets flying, people falling, and loud yelling.]
Cedric Cinder: Now, this is what I am talking about, man!
Lorin: All right, we finally got a cameraman there.
TB: Cedric pickls up Guff, but LOW BLOW by Guff. Cedric drops to the ground. Guff finds an used gun near by with blood all over it, and points it to the head of Cedric.
DJ: He has his finger on the trigger. I can't watch.
TB: This is the coolest thing ever to be in the IML2.
Lorin: Guff pulls the trigger! OH MY GOD! I can't look!
TB: What the hell.
[Guff pulls the trigger but nothing happens!]
DJ: It's empty!
Guff Daddy: FUCK!
Lorin: Thank god. But, now Guff is taking the gun to the head and shoulder of Cedric Cinder. He's beating him senseless with the damn thing. EWWW!
TB: There is a huge cut in the forehead of Cedric.
[Guff Daddy takes a look around to find the time machine and drags the limp body of Cedric overe to it and he sets the machine to 2325.]
DJ: Good plan! We can finally see what the future is like.
[The machine starts to beep.]
TB: Get down guys! It's gonna blow!
[Guff quickly sets the machine back to May 21st, 2000. He throws Cedric in and jumps in himself. The cameraman jumps in as well. Suddenly, the two are back in the IML2 arena. The machine beeps loudly and loudly. Guff jumps out of the way and BOOM! The machine blows up!]
DJ: That thing just blew up. Oh my god.
Lorin:Wait! It blew up, but it has no damage!!!!
TB: Guff recovers from the blow and then goes over to Cedric. He has the gun in his hand, and CRACK! on the head of Guff. Guff falls to the floor and then Cedric brings him back to the huge IML2-tron and he sets a table
DJ: He takes the gun to the head of Guff again and lays him on the table. Cedric tries to climb up the IML2-tron and successfully does it. Cedric is at the top. He looks to the crowd and they go NUTS!
Lorin: He's gonna do it. This is history in the making folks. He jumps off! He flies down to Guff... but GUFF SLIDES OUT FROM THE TABLE AND CEDRIC LANDS STRAIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! CEDRIC HAS TO BE DEAD!
TB: Guff... puts his arm on the body of Cedric.
The referee counts...
TB:NO! Who the hell is that!
DJ:It's... DUSTIN DACHEY! WHERE THE HELL DID HE JUST COME FROM!
Lorin:He just grabed Guff Daddy... SPIRAL POWERBOMB!!!
TB:The referee is counting! 1-2-NO! LOOK! It's Kyle Kash! He won't let Dachey win the Atlantic title!
DJ:That's his stable mates belt, remember that!
TB:Look! Kyle Kash grabs Dachey, TOO LATE! KYLE KASH JUST LAID OUT DUSTIN DACHEY!
Lorin:Look! Kash is looking at Cedric Cinder, and he's trying to pull him on top of Guff!
DJ:Devon Dice is in this picture, and he just cold clocked Kyle Kash!
Lorin:Look! Kash landed on Guff! 1-2-3! NEW ATLANTIC CHAMPION!?!?!?!
TB:What the hell just happened!
DJ:I have no clue in the world!
Chris Astro:Due to a referee's decision, the winner, and NEW Atlantic Champion... KYLE KASH!!!
TB:WHAT! Devon and Dustin can't believe it... TOTAL DEVASTATION ONTO KYLE KASH! The new Atlantic Champion didn't have time to celebrate, did he!
DJ:I don't think Cedric will be in the IML2 for some time. He doesn't want to deal with this while being in the IWO!
Lorin:This is just confusing! Let's get this cleared up and get ready for the next match!
(The satellite feed cuts, as the date "August 13th, 2000" is shown across the screen in white letters. It shatters, as it goes to complete black. Cut back to the arena, where the fans are on their feet.)
Platinum Title Match
Silverchair -c- vs. Kurt Zoom
TB:What the hell was that! First off, Kyle Kash wins the Atlantic Title, and then, all of a sudden, the feed gets cut, and we see this August 13th, 2000 thing on our monitors! What the hell is going on at Cemetery Gates!
DJ:It's chaos, complete and utter chaos Bainsy. This is what the IML2 is all about!
Lorin:It seems like it's been a long night, but it's not as long as most IML2 nights!
TB:True, but we've still got the Platinum ladder match, and not to meantion the tag team title match scheduled for later tonight, directly after this match!
DJ:What about the world title match! Buried Alive, McNally is going to bury Enfirno alive, I can feel it!
TB:Well, earlier today, Silverchair gave up his Platinum title, and Zoom gave his to the referee's. Those belts are now suspended from a wire cable, only reachable by a ladder. The man who grabs both belts is the winner!
*Ding, ding, ding*
Chris Astro:This next match is scheduled for a ladder match, and is for the platinum championship!
("Wasting Time" by Kid Rock (IML2 Edit) cuts him off, as BJ Smith walks out from the back.)
TB:What the hell is he doing here! He lost the rookies battle royal earlier in the evening!
DJ:I have no clue Tom, but he's gotta do something cool!
Lorin:BJ Smith is walking down towards the ring with Ladder in hand! He throws it into the ring, and look! Chris Astro flees!
TB:BJ Smith starts climbing the ladder, and grabs the two platinum championships!
Lorin:BJ Smith has the two platinum championship belts! And he's running through the crowd!
DJ:HAHAHA! This is pretty funny! Silverchair and Zoom race out, and start getting pissed off with the time keeper!
Chris Astro:Uhh.... BJ SMITH! Your new Platinum Champion!
TB:HAHAHAHA! None to Silverchair of Zoom's delite, BJ Smith is the new Platinum Champion! This is great! This is hillarious!!!
DJ:Silverchair has a microphone.
Silverchair:I don't need this bullshit... I quit!
Lorin:Zoom goes chasing after him through the crowd! Where the hell is he!
TB:This is funny as all hell!
DJ:We've got to get to the tag team title matchup now...
Tag Team Title Match
Seduction and Destruction(Kyle Kash and Chris Briggs)-c- vs. the Devastators(Dustin Dachey & Devon Dice) vs. the Love Triangle(Steve and Pete Love) vs. The Winds of Change(Riot Phillips and Tempest Malone)
TB: Well we got another great match coming up for you right now.
DJ: TAG TEAM TITLES ON THE LINE!
Lorin: Seduction and Destruction all the way! FORAY IS SO GREAT!
DJ: For once Lorin, I'll have to agree with you.
Lorin: Oh ... um, Love Triangle all the way!
DJ: Yeah, that's right. Change your opinion bitch!
TB: Children, children, let's stop the arguing.
DJ: Shove a sock in it Tom.
TB: WHY YOU LITTLE--
(TB is cut off as the lights go black. "Total Devestation" Slip Knot starts to play. The fans gives a mild reaction. The lights come back up as the Devestators, Devon Dice and Dustin Dachey walk to the ring.)
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen ... THE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH! First coming down to the ring, at a total combined weight at 614 pounds, "THE DESTROYER" DEVON DICE AND "THE DEMORTILIZER" DUSTIN DACHEY, THEY ARE THE DEVESTATORS!!!
(The Love Triangle suddenly jump from the crowd and starts attacking the Devestators from behind.)
*DING DING DING*
TB: Here we go. Love Triangle takes the early advantage with the sneak attack. Steve Love starts it off with Dustin Dachey. They tie up, Dustin throws Steve off to the ropes. Steve off the ropes, clothesline, ducked by Dustin, from behind Devon nails Steve.
DJ: That's all good and great, but where the hell are Winds of Change and Seduction and Destruction?
(Scene suddenly cuts to the locker rooms.)
Lorin: In the locker rooms Riot Philips and Tempest Malone are beating the hell out of Kash and Briggs! They are brawling toward the ring entrance. And here they are! They are fighting on the ramp now.
DJ: Pete Love and Devon Dice see this and they rush over to get into the action. We have a big brawl here on the ramp.
Lorin: Meanwhile, Steve and Dustin are doing some actual wrestling in the ring. Dustin with a headlock, Steve sends him to the ropes, shoulder block. Dustin gets back up, clothesline by Steve Love. Steve up to the second rope.
TB: FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Dustin is down. Cover, one.. two.. kickout! On the ramp Kash is starting to show why he's the leader of such a powerful stable. He takes Devon Dice and throws him off the ramp into the crowd.
Lorin: LOOK OUT! PETE LOVE OFF THE RAMP AND HITS A MISSLE DROP KICK ON THE FALLEN DEVON!
DJ: Stupid move. Both of those guys are pratically out of the match now.
TB: Winds of Change or double teaming Chris Briggs. They throw him into the ring. FATED HURRICANE RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!
Lorin: WINDS OF CHANGE PICK UP DUSTIN DACHEY! FATED HURRICANE!
DJ: Steve charges Tempest Malone, back body drop out of the ring! Riot Philips covers CHRIS BRIGGS! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! SEDUCTION AND DESTRUCTION HAVE LOST!
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match and NEEEEEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! WINDS OF CHANGE!!!
TB: Wow, what a match!
Buried Alive Match
Lance McNally vs. Enfirno
DJ: Well wrestling fans around the world its time for the main event.
TB: This card has been amazing and its only going to get better.
Chris Astro:This next matchup.. is the MAIN EVENT! It is for the IML2 World Heavyweight championship!
("Witching Hour" by Myzery begins over the pa system.)
Chris Astro:Introducing first, the challenger, from Pittsburgh, PA. He weighs in tonight at 235 pounds, and is the master of the Candle Wax! Here is Enfirno!!!
(Enfirno walks out from the back recieving a pretty good reaction from the crowd. Enfirno walks to the ring, and slides in.)
Chris Astro:And his opponent...
("Take On Me" by Reel Big Fish starts up over the pa system.)
Chris Astro:He is currently the IML2 Heavyweight champion. Some people have called him the greatest wrestler to ever step into the IML2 ring, and not make the IWO. He weighs in tonight at 225 pounds, and is the master of Just Rocked! He is ALSO from Pittsburgh,PA... here is Lance McNally!!!
(Lance McNally walks out from the back recieving boos like crazy. He holds up the IML2 world heavyweight championship, only to get more boos. McNally walks to the ring, and climbs in through the middle ropes. He hands the belt over to the Referee.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
Lorin: This is going to be some match both men have no love loss for each other.
DJ: Both men come out of the respected corners and they meet in the center of the ring.
TB: It looks like Mcnally is trying to convince Enfirno to play some sort of Mercy game.
Lorin: Enfirno is looking to the crowd to tell him what to do, they are all telling him to do it.
DJ: Both men raise there hands up high and wait!
TB: Oh what a cheap shot by Lance, he just kneed him in the stomach, and is now taking the advantage.
Lorin: Lance Mcnally starts to fire off shots right at Enfirno.
TB: Man is he hitting hard the sound of Enfirno is amazing. Enfirno is trying to get away from Mcnally he is starting to back up into the corner.
Lorin: He's in the corner and I dont think he can see anything. Mcnally just gave him a thunderous right hand to the face.
TB: Man Enfirno is stuned.
DJ: Whats Lance doing. He's going into the oppisite corner. He's waiting there for a moment.
Lorin: He starts running out of the corner. Mcnally!
DJ: Big splash
TB: No he misses with the big splash I cant believe it Enfirno got out of the way right in time.
Lorin: Mcnally just hit off turned around and is stunned walking out of the corner.
DJ: POW! What a clothsline by Enfirno that took the champ right off his feet.
TB: Mcnally is back up andother great clothsline by Enfirno.
DJ: He gets back up again thrid straight clothsline.
Lorin: He cant stand up anymore, and look at Enfirno he is telling him to get back up!
TB: I have never seen either of these men this siked for a match!
DJ: Look Enfirno just went through the middle rope and onto the floor. He's going over to the crowd.
TB: Is he trying to get away from Mcnally? Is he running?
DJ: No he's asking on of the fans for a chair. And look the fans giving him the chair.
Lorin: And he just took another guys beer!
TB: He going to hit Lance with it, thats what they do down in ECW!
Lorin: NO! He just through the chair in the ring and he is now drinking down the beer!
DJ: Look, he through the chair so light Lance cought it and is now going up to the top rope!
TB: With the chair. This is right in front off us!
Lorin: Mcnally just threw the chair and hit Enfirno in the leg!
DJ: Bad move now Enfirno now's he up there. But he doesnt have the time!
TB: Mcnally from the top rope!
LORIN:!!!!!Oh my god!!!!!
DJ: Enfirno just moved again and Lance just went right through are damn table!
TB: Oh my god Lance isnt moving!
Lorin: Can you blame him he just went through a table.
DJ: But look Enfirno isnt showing him any mercy! He looking under the ring for something..
TB: Good lord he just pulled out another table! And he just set it up just a few feet from where Lance and are table are or were in this case!
DJ: I dont like this at all!
Lorin: He's now walking over the brokemn table and he picks up a fallen Lance Mcnally and he drags him over to the table.
TB: He picks him up and he slams him right onto the table!
DJ: The table didnt break, Lance is laying on it. And Enfirno just went up on the ring apron!
TB: Yeah but he just turned around from Mcnally and is talking to the people! But now he goes to the top rope!
Lorin: Look Lance is up, he is going up on the apron and they are both fighting on the apron!
DJ: No Enfirno is up top!
TB: And here comes Mcnally theis is a fight for survival both men are hurt and they are on the top.
Lorin: Mcnally has the control. He just took Enfirno god nO!
DJ: He just tossed Enfirno off the top rope and through the table right next to the one he was thrown through!
TB: Mcnally is now back in the ring waiting for Enfirno to get up, this is giving him some time to rest.
Lorin: Well Enfirno is looking like his i about to get up!
DJ: Hes up, Wait what the Hell is Lance doing.
TB: He just went off the oppisite ropes, and he just ran and dived through the middle rope and just once again took at Enfirno.
Lorin: What a move, but I think he hit his own head thats why he's down as well.
DJ: I think your right. Both men are hurt.
TB: Look at Lance his busted open from the dive. He is bleeding all over the floor.
Lorin: Enfirno is up, and he waste no time to kick Lance right in the face!
DJ: Oh my god did you see the blood that just flew from Lance after he got kicked in the face!
Lorin: Man that hurt now Enfirno picks up Lance Mcnally and throws him back into the ring.
TB: He knows he cant win the belt on the floor. He picks up Mcnally scoop slam and Mcnally is down!
DJ: That was a nice slam. Now Enfirno is following it up with what looks like to be his own versiion of the Boston Crab!
Lorin: Its hook on good, and if Lance Mcnally doenst find a way to the ropes or a way to over power it this match is going to be over!
TB: Mcnally is trying so hard to get to the ropes!
DJ: And his oppenent is trying so hard not to let him do that!
Lorin: If he wants the belt he will make it over to the corner!
DJ: Look he's getting closer and!
TB: Yes he has the ropes. And being a veteran he holds onto the ropes so Enfirno has to get away.
Lorin: The ref makes Enfirno go to the corner but not before Enfirno hit's Mcnally in the back with a kick.
DJ: Mcnally must be hurting, that move takes a lot out of your back!
TB: Now Lance is back up to his feet and Enfirno charges right out of the corner!
DJ: Mcnally see's it and runs after Enfirno Lance ducks the clothsline both men turn around kick to the gut DDT and down goes Enfirno!
Lorin: What a spike DDT by Lance that hurt.
TB: Look! Lance is going to take Enfirno to the grave!
DJ: The match could be over!!! NO! Enfirno kicked McNally in the gut!
Lorin:McNally is pissed as he throws Enfirno out of the ring.
DJ: Mcnally is now backing the ref up into the corner showing the ref that he thinks Enfirno's action was illegal!
TB: The ref is yelling back. Why dont these 2 just fight!
Lorin: Enfirno is up and he is sneeking into the corner behind Lance Mcnally, he takes him!
DJ: German Suplex held for the cover.
TB: That hurt Mcnallys back and neck he just landed on it!
Lorin: Shut up hes going for the win!
DJ:But there's no covers!!!
Lorin:McNally powers out...
DJ: Man what a match!
TB: Lance is up and he is going out side of the ring and he just got a table and threw it into the ring and look on the other side.
Lorin: Enfirno just threw a table into the ring.
DJ: Both men have a table into the ring. They both get back into the ring and they start firing shots at each other!
TB: Mcnally once again low blows Enfirno, and sends him down with an amazing left hook to the face!
Lorin:Look! The ref's getting in the face of McNally! Haha!
DJ: Now McNally is taking the time to set up the table he brought into the ring into the other corner!
Lorin: That punch was so hard Enfirno is still down.
TB: I think Lance just saw the table his oppenent brought into the ring, and he is now setting that up?
Lorin: What the hell? Right next to the other table?
DJ: I dont understand what the hell this guy has in mind but I dont think it looks good for Enfirno!
TB: Speaking of Enfirno he is back up and is waiting for Lance to turn around he turns around drop kick and down goes Lance!
DJ: I dont think that hurt Lance that much he's up again and there is another drop kick right to the face, that one found its mark and he's now not only bleeding from the head but also from the nose!
Lorin: Enfirno is leaving the ring and is asking for something, someone just gave him a chair!
DJ: Lance is back up, but if I was him I wouldnt turn around!
TB: Hes not you and he turned around back chair shot to the face.
Lorin: More blood and I think Mcnally is going to pass out from blood loss!
TB: But he's so tuff he only went down to one knee!
DJ: Look Enfirno picks him up, puts him through his legs!
Lorin: Power bomb but the tables didnt break!
TB: Enfirno isnt wasteing anymore time he is going right to the apron and is going up to the top rope!
Lorin: He's up but Mcnally is down!
DJ: That power bomb hurt him!
TB: He is set he leaps!
Lorin: Frog Splash and Enfirno goes through Mcnally who goes through the tables!
DJ: Unreal! Mcnally is hurt and I think Enfirno might have a had a stinger on his rib cage!
TB: Enfirno is on Mcnally!
DJ: Right hands galore from Enfirno!
Lorin: McNally pushes Enfirno off of him!
TB: Enfirno cant believe it, but he is to tired and hurt to argue.
DJ: Enfirno is up, and he picks Mcnally up with him.
Lorin: He throws Mcnally through the second rope, and goes onto the floor with him!
TB: Lance is firing back now. He blocks a hit and throws him over the guard rail, and both men are now fighting in the crowd. Lance is running up the stairs!
Lorin: He's going into the hallway with all the ucked!
Lorin: Lance is now trying to run but to much blood lose has slowed the poor guy down.
TB: Enfirno has the club and is going after him, he swings!
Loring: Another miss and Lance kicks him in the leg and Enfirno falls down!
DJ: Lance is running and he makes a left.
TB: Enfirno is back up but no golf club around, people are telling him where Lance went he turns into the hall..
Lorin: Lance Mcnally just hit him right in the chest with that golf club and down goes Enfirno.
TB: Mcnally is looking in his pocket and he pulls out a dollar?
Lorin: He goes over to the coke machine and is buying a soda my god! But look the machine is not working..
DJ: What an idiot, he is giving Enfirno some time to get up.
TB: Yeah he's now up!
Lorin: He has Mcnally from the back and throws him into the machine!
DJ: Look there goes the soda!
Lorin: Look now Enfirno has a soda, he opends it..
TB: he is pouring it all over Mcnally.
DJ: He get's Mcnally up and they start fighting again!
Lorin: They finally look like they are heading back out to the ring.
DJ: Mcnally just threw Enfirno through the curtian and they are back on the stage..
TB: They are fighting on the stage, and they are going more towards the rings..
Lorin: Lance punches him once in the face throws him back into the ring and goes under the ring and quickly pulls out a table!
TB: He throws it into the ring, and is now going under and he got a chair and throws that into the ring.
Lorin: He takes the chair and wacks Enfirno in the face and now Enfirno looks like he is busted open.
TB: Lance Mcnally is now setting up the table in the middle of the damn ring and this doesnt look any good.
Lorin: Enfirno is almost up and Lance see's it!
DJ: Lance quickly gets the chair and gives him another shot right in the nose!
TB: That is amazing! Enfirno didnt go down Lance takes the chair once more and gives him a home run swinging shot and Jesus he is bleeding just as bad as his opennent.
DJ: Lance just now finnishes settiug up that table!
Lorin: Now he picks up the fallen Enfirno. He set's him sup for a suplex and bang that table did snap!
DJ:Look! McNally grabs Enfirno, and he just throws him out! He's going to bury Enfirno!!!! PUT HIM SIX FEET UNDER McNALLY!
TB:McNally just tossed Enfirno into the pit!!
Lorin:And now he's buring Enfirno in that pit!
DJ:Wait! Enfirno gets out! And he's hammering with McNally!
TB: Enfirno is looking around and he found a chair!
Lorin: Pay Backs a !!!!!!
TB: Right in the back of the head.
Lorin: Oh my god what a mess.
DJ: Look Enfirno just threw McNally into the pit! Enfirno is not throwing dirt onto the heavyweight champion!
TB: But McNally is crawling out once again! Enfirno can't believe it! What resilancy from both men!
DJ: Enfirno is now getting Lance back to his feet kick to the gut, and .
Lorin: Spike DDT plants Mcnallys into the grave! That's all she wrote for Mcnally we have a new champion.
DJ: The fans are standing!
TB: Enfirno is throwing dirt into the grave, but McNally is trying to fight it! McNally just pulled Enfirno into the grave!
DJ: You have to be kidding me he just broke out of that DDT!
Lorin: The fans are going nuts for both men who are giving it there all!
TB: Enfirno catches McNally with a square right hand, picks Mcnally up and he throws him into the corner of the grave!
DJ: He comes charging and Mcnally moves Enfirno just hit the SHOVEL! Enfirno just got thrown straight into the shovel pretruding from the ground! Enfirno is now down on the ground!
Lorin: Mcnally is wasteing no time he's up on the top rope!
DJ: Frog Splash from the top right onto a fallen Enfirno. Thats all folks.
Lorin:Too bad he has to bury Enfirno! Enfirno has to be clear out of it to be buried!
TB: Before McNally can get out, Enfirno grabs him back in!
DJ: Lance Mcnally goes to wait in his corner and Enfirno get's up into his corner both men look at the crowd and the whole crowd stands up and starts to clap!
Lorin: Enfirno and Mcnally go back into the center of the grave and Mcnally gets the control, he takes Enfirno throws him out of the ring! McNally jumps out, and he's going for a table! McNally just threw the table into the grave!
TB: Enfirno is getting up now...
DJ: Enfirno get's the chair throws it at a bloody Lance Mcnally!
Lorin: Mcnally is hurt he cant see nothing right now.
TB: Enfirno sneeks up on him.!
Lorin: He is setting him up!
DJ: CANDLE WAX!
Lorin: Through the table!
TB: Thats it we have a new champion!
DJ:INTO THE GRAVE!
Lorin: Wait why did the bell ring at 2?
Chris Astro: Ladies and Gentlemen we have reached a time limit draw!
DJ: Oh man!
TB: Listen to the people booing like crazy!
("Cemetary Gates" by Pantera plays as Tom Ford comes out to the ramp!)
Tom Ford: No! That's not how it's going down! This match will have a winner! I'm not going to screw these fans over! Ring that damn bell!
(He leaves, but wait!)
DJ:Enfirno is setting up another table in that grave!
TB:GUNNAR SMITH! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING!
DJ:He just levaled Tom Ford with the chair! With the steel chair! McNally is up, and Enfirno should rightfully be the heavyweight champion!
TB:Look! McNally catches Enfirno in a full nelson... Gunnar with that chair...
Lorin:HE JUST HIT McNALLY!
DJ:GUNNAR CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
TB:Look, Ford has the chair... and HE JUST COLD CLOCKED VP GUNNAR SMITH!!!
Lorin:Look! Enfirno has McNally...CANDLE-WAX!
DJ:NO! McNally slips out... TURNED INTO JUST ROCKED THROUGH THE TABLE!
TB:McNally grabs the shovel.. and he's burying Enfirno in that six foot deep grave!
*Ding, ding, ding*
Lorin:Lance McNally is the heavyweight champion! He just defeated Enfirno!
DJ:Look! Lance is looking towards Gunnar, as Gunnar is backing off...
TB:McNally grabs him and he's going to hit VP Gunnar!
Lorin:Out from the back is Nuclear! He's going to calm down McNally just like McNally did minutes ago...
DJ:Nuclear gets Gunnar out of the grasp of McNally....
(Nuclear kicks Gunnar in the gut)
TB:WAIT! Nuclear sets him up for a powerbomb... McNally... JUST ROCKED COMBINATION MOVE! DEAR GOD! VP GUNNAR IS OUT!
DJ:Look! Ford is up in Gunnar's face! With a mic!
Ford:Gunnar.... YOU'RE FIRED!
Lorin:Dear god! Tom Ford just fired Gunnar Smith, we saw McNally defend the heavyweight title, this night has been huge! We've got to go! For the IML2, I'm Lorin, GOODNIGHT!
(The camera fades out...)
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