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Thursday, May 4, 2000
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Monday Night Melee
June 5th
Main Event
Elimination Style
Kyle Kash, Nucking Futs, & ??? vs. Razorback, Dustin Dachey, and Mac D.

World Title Specialty match
Guff Daddy vs. J.J. Nuclear
*The winner of this matchup fights the world champion last in the event, while the loser is the first man to fight him...

Hardcore Title Match
Shawn Arrows vs. Justin Blair
Shawn Arrows d. Justin Blair after a powerbomb off the top to the outside through a table.

Yobbo vs. Razorback
Azrael vs. Jack Night vs. Franklin Einstein
Mars vs. Will Rampage
Xtreme Force vs. the Outcasts
("Perry Mason" by Ozzy Osbourne is heard blasting in the background as the fans rise to their feet. MNM comes back to the building! The camera goes back to the back, where Chairman Jay is shown.)

Chairman Jay:Come on man, I want protection tonight. I don't want any screw ups...


Chairman Jay:Ok, come on...

(The camera fades back to the ringside area, back into Baines, Duce, and Lorin.)




TB:What's wrong?

DJ:I'm worn out... why not just not have commentary for most of tonight?

TB:That sounds good... after this segment let's get a burger...

(Music plays as Taylor walks out with Vincent.)

Chairman Jay:Eric Yun! You felt my wrath on Friday!

("Eary Morning Stoned Pimp" by Kid Rock f/Joe C. and Tino starts up as Yun comes into the ring.)

Eric Yun:Calm down Vincent, I don't want you to try to attack me, this is between me and Taylor. You see Taylor, what you did on Friday? It was plain stupid, and you know what? It's that stupidity that will bring down the IML2...


DJ:Hey Lorin! Isn't that yours?

Lorin:That's not a toy!

TB:He's just beating Eric Yun with a sex toy!

Lorin:That seriously isn't a toy...

("Cemetery Gates" by Pantera starts up as the fans cheer! Ford walks out from the back, as Flyer comes racing out from the back as well! He just knocks down Vincent with a steel chair to the back, as Vincent rolls out of the ring.)

**Commercial Break**

Mars d. Will Rampage after Rampage tripped on the outside steps, landed on his face, and was knocked out by the concrete.

Xtreme Force d. the Outcasts when Sam Potright was rolls up, after his wife Beth was getting mauled by Parental Advisory. Potright, enraged, injured both of the Xtreme Force.

Azrael v. Jack Night v. Franklin Einstein

TB: Well now, we're ready for our next match of the
night, Azrael versus Jack Night versus Franklin
Einstein. Any picks?

DJ: Their all rookies. Maybe we'll get lucky and
they'll all kill each other.

Lorin: Shut up, DJ! My pick is Azrael! I mean, Azrael
has the balls to accept the most feared match in all
of wrestling, a Mystery Death Match!

DJ: Which I may add, himself NOR Kris Kanton even
thought up! Their both two newbie posers!

TB: Shove it up your ass, DJ! If you had been paying
attention, you would realize that Kris Kanton didn't
even challenge Azrael!

DJ: Yes he did!

TB: That was a rumor!

DJ: But he did challenge him!

Lorin: Will the both of you please shut the hell up?
Let's get to the match!

[All three men are already in the ring.]

*Ding, Ding, Ding*

TB: Franklin and Jack start this match off, going neck
and neck with each other! Franklin lands an eye gauge
followed by a punch to the nose! Franklin now,
bounces off the ropes and lands a flying clothesline!

DJ: Real original there, Franklin...

Lorin: While Franklin show boats, Azrael makes his way
behind him, and lands a sleeping neck breaker! Now,
Azrael lifts both men up, and has them head butt each
other! He then lands a low blow to both men, followed
up by a double stunner! WOW!

DJ: I gotta give props to Azrael...that was pretty
damn sweet.

TB: Meanwhile, Azrael rolls Franklin over for an early
pin.......not even a one count before Jack pulls him

DJ: Nevermind. I stick with my earlier statement that
they all suck.

Lorin: Anyways, Jack and Azrael exchange blows. Jack
lands an uppercut to the gut followed by a snap
suplex! Jack rolls off and lifts Azrael up by the
head. Jack whips Azrael to the ropes. No! Azrael
reverses and bends over for a back body drop.

TB: But, Jack counters with a kick to the chest. But
wait! While Azrael is stunned, Franklin runs over and
lands a knee to the face! But as Franklin turns
around, Jack Night lands a clothesline! Is it just
more or, does it look like we have a match going on

DJ: It's just you.

Lorin: Nope. There is definitly a match going on!
Now, Jack picks Franklin up and sends him into the
turnbuckle, and mounts a 10 count punch. Wait!
Azrael is back up, and he lands a low blow to Jack
Night who is on the middle turnbuckle! As Jack is in
pain, Azrael gives him a press slam from the second

TB: Franklin though, runs behind Azrael and lands a
bulldog! Now, Franklin covers
Azrael.......1........Jack Night breaks up the count!
Jack and Franklin Einstein are now exchanging punches!

DJ: Jeez! Will they PLEASE get this over with!?

Lorin: No, don't! This is a great matchup!

DJ: No, it's boring as hell. I need to have some damn
medicine just so I can keep my fucking eyes open!

TB: Why don't you just go to sleep, DJ?

DJ: Because, I get paid by the hour. And, President
Tom will dock my pay if I sleep. I've already tried.

TB: Oh.

Lorin: Well back to the match, Azrael is now back in
full control as he has tossed Jack Night outside of
the ring, and is now kicking a helpless Franklin, in
the head. Now, Azrael jumps to the top turnbuckle and
launches a springboard drop kick to Jack Night!

TB: It doesn't land! Night dodged the dropkick, and
Azrael is laying on the concrete, grabbing his hip!
That HAD to hurt!

DJ: No shit. He jumped from fifteen feet in the air
and landed on concrete. It MAY hurt...

TB: Bite me.

DJ: Blow me. Oh wait, that's Lorin's job. Speaking
of which Lorin, how did your date with Vincent work

Lorin: The porn tape will be out in the middle of

DJ: What?

Lorin: Just kidding. Late July.

DJ: Yeah, right.

Lorin: Whatever.

TB: Back to the match at hand, Jack Night and Franklin
Einstein are now stomping on Azrael who is backed into
a corner. Jack lifts Azrael up, and gives him a
piledriver! But, as Jack stands up Franklin lands a
drop toe hold, converted into a reverse STF!!

Lorin: Ouch. Luckily for Jack, he reaches the ropes.
Franklin now, picks Jack Night up to his feet, and
lands a mean tiger driver
pin..........1............2..........AZRAEL BREAKS UP

DJ: Ya know, Franklin was pretty damn close to winning
the match there. Hold on a sec! Look!

Lorin: What is it?

DJ: Nothing, I'm sorry. My bad.

Lorin: You dick!

[Lorin reaches below the announce table and pulls out
that gigantic dildo from Cemetary Gates!]


[Lorin begins to beat DJ into a bloody pulp on the
floor, with the huge dildo. After that large amount
of pain that she delivered, DJ lays on the floor, in a
pool of his own blood.]

TB: Was that neccesary?

Lorin: Yes.

TB: Lorin now, what have we discussed?

Lorin: Not to hit DJ with the giant dildo no matter
what he does. Sorry...

TB: It's ok, Lorin. It's...ok.

Lorin: Well, can we get back to the match?

TB: Yeah. As of right now, Azrael is up on the top
rope, and he leaps off and lands a suicide plancha to
Franklin Einstein! But, as Azrael turns around, he is
met with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Jack
Night...into a pin!

Lorin: One.........two........wait a minute! Jack was
using the ropes for leverage! THREE!?! The ref
counted to three! He can't do that!

[Just then, another referee from the back, came out
and began to talk the situation over with the referee
that was working the match.]

Announcer: Due to the fact that Jack Night was being a
little cheating bastard, the referee has decided that
the match will continue as planned!

TB: Woah. That hasn't happened in a while.

Lorin: Yeah, a total shock to me. I thought ref's
never came out and told the other ref that one
wrestler was cheating.

TB: Beats me.

Lorin: Anyways, the match is continuing!

TB: Yep, Jack Night is now arguing with the ref, as
Franklin Einstein gives Azrael an implant DDT. No,
wait! Azrael reverses the implant DDT, into a
fisherman's suplex! One..........two........Jack
Night breaks up the count!

Lorin: Damn. That sucks. Oh well. Azrael shoots at
Jack, who locks on a headlock to Azrael when he shot
in. We don't see that very much.

TB: No, we don't.

Lorin: Well, wait! Azrael picks Jack Night up, and
gives him a spinebuster from that position! Awesome

TB: That was VERY impressive. Azrael now, goes for
pin, wait! Franklin Einstein jumps on top too!.........one...............two............three!!
Azrael wins! Azrael wins!

Lorin: Ya know, I have the feeling Azrael has some real potential.

TB: Yeah, he does.

Lorin: Well, looky here. DJ is back up...

[DJ gets up, with a very bloddy nose and a black eye.]

DJ: Mommy?

Lorin: Ooooooooh no.

DJ: Where am I?

Lorin: At the show DJ, don't you remember?

DJ: Who are you?

Lorin: Oh boy.

TB: I second that.

Chris Astro:Your Winners! Franklin Einstein and Azrael!!!


DJ:That's odd! What happened!

Lorin:Just go back to sleep...

**Commercial Break**

Hardcore Title Match
Shawn Arrows vs. Justin Blair
Shawn Arrows d. Justin Blair after a powerbomb off the top to the outside through a table.

("Time Bomb" by Godsmack plays over the loud speakers as J.J. Nuclear steps
out of the curtain.)

DJ - JJ is going to win this match up! No contest!

TB - I don't know...Guff Daddy could pull the upset here.

Nikki - Just look at the way JJ Struts, like he already knows he is going to

TB - He shouldn't be too overconfident...remember that the winner of this
match faces the champ last, while the loser...

DJ - The LOSER, as in Guff Daddy...

TB - The loser faces the champ first!

Nikki - Look at that! Guff Daddy just came out of the crowd and attack JJ
from behind! Guff Daddy with the low blow. Guff grabs JJ's arm and throws
him into the stairs! BANG!

DJ - He could of broken his shoulder! Ref, do something!

TB - Guff rolls him into the ring and pins him quickly. 1, KICKOUT!

DJ - Come on, JJ, You can do it!

Nikki - Guff tosses JJ into the ropes, GD goes for the clothesline, JJ ducks
and connects with the spinebuster. JJ grabs GD around the neck and begins to
choke him. The ref starts the count 1..2..3. JJ breaks the hold.

DJ - JJ is the rightful champion and deserves his shot.

TB - He may deserve his shot, but he has to fight for it just like everyone
else. GD staggers up to his feet. JJ grabs GD and tries to execute the Belly
to Belly suplex but fails. He tries again, this time GD reverses it into a
Belly to back suplex, bridge pin! 1, 2, KICKOUT!

Nikki - Oh man that one was close! GD almost had victory.

TB - JJ gets up quickly and throws himself against the ropes. He is quickly
met by a Big Boot by GD. GD takes advantage of this and applies the
Figure-four leglock onto JJ. JJ winces and grits his teeth together as he
slowly inches for the rope.

DJ - Grab the rope, JJ!

TB - JJ is about to get to the rope! He almost has it! GD pulls him back
into the ring! It is only a matter of time. The ref goes to look at a
disturbance outside the ring as a fan tries to run in. Hey DJ where are you

Nikki - What the hell? DJ, don't do that! DJ has just pulled JJ to the ropes
and he has grabbed them. The ref turns around and forces GD to let go of the
hold. The crowd erupts in boos.

DJ - Now that is how is should be!

TB - Why did you do that? You know we are not suppose to interfere in these
type of matches! GD is arguing with the ref. JJ with the Low blow. JJ gives
GD a few lefts and rights. JJ is going to the top rope WITH GD. This could
be it!

DJ - YES JJ Do it you have it won!

Nikki - JJ goes for his finisher from the top rope! We have never seen this
before! Wait a minute! GD is fighting back! GD Reverses it into a S my DDT

DJ - NO!!!

TB - Both wrestlers are down. GD has this one won if he can get his hand on
top of JJ. GD is slowly inching over and he has his hand on him! The ref
begins the count.1..2..3!!!! GD has won!

DJ - Nooo! How could this happen?

Nikki - Wait a minute, JJ has his foot on the rope, but GD did not notice


TB - JJ is getting up...low blow to GD, JJ with the triple Powerbomb! Both
men are down again and the ref starts the count.1...2...3...4...5...

DJ - Get up JJ get up!

Nikki - JJ is up! He kicks GD in the groin and lifts him up. He I taking him
to the top rope! HE HIT THE NUCLEAR BOMB! JJ with the pin!



DJ - WHAT THE HELL? Who pulled JJ out of the ring?

TB - It's ENFIRNO! They're on the outside now...Enfirno with a left, a
right...be backs away! The crowd is nuts! Could it be...YES! CANDLESTICK

Nikki - There's his just desserts!!! Enfirno rolls him into the ring, and
Guff Daddy with the S MY DDT! HE PINS!!!




DJ - NO!!!

TB - Yes! With the help of Enfirno, Guff Daddy goes on to face the champ

Nikki - And JJ Nuclear faces him first!

DJ - Oh, this is terrible! We'll be right back, folks!

**Commercial Break**

Main Event
Elimination Style
Kyle Kash, Nucking Futs, & ??? vs. Razorback, Dustin Dachey, and Mac D.
Dustin Dachey never showned up, recieving the count out. During the show, it was revealed that newcomer Fletcher Jamison was the newest member of the stable called "Parental Advisory," as he teamed with Kash and Futs. Razorback was the next man eliminated, as Mac D. was all alone. Mac fought back, as he eliminated Nucking Futs, but Kash and Fletcher were just too much, as BJ Smith could be shown hitting Mac D. in the head with the platinum title, causing Kash/Futs/Fletcher to win as MNM went off the air.
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