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Thursday, May 4, 2000
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Friday Night Frostbite
June 2nd, 2000
Main Event
Kyle Kash & God vs. Kurt Zoom & Dustin Dachey

Mix Tag team match
Will the rookies be able to handle number one contenders?
"Reckless" Jack Harmen & Hiep Barmitzah vs. Enfirno & J.J. Nuclear

Razorback vs. BJ Smith vs. Nucking Futs
Donnie Daze vs. Douglas Howland
Kris Kanton vs. Ice
(IML2 is shown over the screen of your television set, as the words "I quit" are echoed throughout the background of the scene. "Hollywood" by P.O.D. begins as these words fade out. Donnie Daze is shown badmouthing Douglas Howland, as these two images are depicted on a split screen. Kris Kanton is shown on the left side, as Ice sits on a rock. BJ Smith is shown with the Platinum championship, as Razorback and Nucking Futs is shown from the prior week. Cut to Jack Harmen nailing Enfirno with the kendo stick, as Hiep Barmitzah is shown attacking J.J. Nuclear. Finally, Kyle Kash is shown with the Atlantic title, as God is shown on his back after Cemetery Gates. Dachey is shown in defeat after the tag team match, as Kurt Zoom is shown in disbelief when BJ Smith grabbed the platinum title. We fade into the ringside area, as thousands of fans are screaming like crazy. The cameraman pans down towards Tom Baines(TB), Duce Johnson(DJ) and Lorin.)


DJ: This sucks.

Lorin: What do you mean Duce?

DJ: I mean, I could be out on the town right now, instead of in here without the company of a fine lady.

Lorin: I'm not "fine" as you put it?

DJ: You slap me too much.

TB: People, we are on the air here!

DJ: Does it look like I care? I'm sick of this shit I put up with. I'm with Ford, I say we all quit and go out for dinner.

("Cemetery Gates" by Pantera begins over the pa system as the fans immediately cheer.)

TB: It's Ford! He's come back!

DJ: WHY! We have no clue why though!

(Chairman Jay Taylor walks out from the back. The fans don't know how to react to Jay, as he slides into the ring. He seems to be more astonished than having a game plan.)

Chairman Jay Taylor: IML2! Yeah! You know what, I was at first astounded by Ford's decision to leave his office…

DJ: What do you mean! He's still shocked!

Chairman Jay Taylor: But now I realize that this means I'm in total power! The IML2 will be run better than it ever has before. People like Enfirno, J.J. Nuclear, and Lance McNally won't be receiving pushes ANY time soon! And I'll be damned if Lance McNally walks out of Die Viehisch Tag with the World Championship! I am your god IML2! No one can stop me!

("Eary Morning Stoned Pimp" by Kid Rock f/Joe C. and Tino starts up over the pa system as the fans immediately pop.)

TB: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! What is going on!

DJ: Why is the front office airing its dirty laundry on television! That's a disgrace!

(All of a sudden a man dressed in a black suit walks out from the back.)


DJ: Who the hell is that?

Lorin: I have no clue!

TB: It's former IML3 President Eric Yun!!! Eric Yun is here in the IML2! DEAR GOD! THIS IS GOING TO BE INSANE!

Chairman Jay Taylor: Hey boy, this is my scene. You're not supposed to be here. You're not worthy of the IML2…

Former IML3 President Eric Yun: And why is that? Do you even have any idea who I am?

Chairman Jay Taylor: Who cares who you are! Just get off my television!

Former IML3 President Eric Yun: I'm Eric Yun, the former President of the IML3… and, according to some office paper work that was filed by none other than Tom Ford himself, I am the new Vice President of the IML2, and therefore, that makes ME, better than YOU!

Chairman Jay Taylor: NO! You stupid son of a bitch!

(All of a sudden, Psycho Jay comes out from the back, receiving a huge pop.)

TB: Psycho Jay is right behind Eric Yun! Turn around!

DJ: LOOK! Psycho Jay just threw Eric Yun down and is humping his head! HAHAHAHA! This is pretty funny!

Lorin: You would think that.

TB: This is a disgrace! Eric's first day on the job and he's getting his head humped by the IWO World champion Psycho Jay! Jay and Jay leave…

DJ: You think they're related?

Lorin: Just because they have the same first name doesn't mean they're related!

DJ: Still! I mean, Psycho Jay is helping Taylor out a lot.

TB: I wonder what Ford has to say to all this…

DJ: It doesn't matter, because simply put, he might as well have been fired!

**Commercial Break**
TB: Our next match is between Kris Kanton and Ice!! Both these men are very
good and have been doing very good as of late and this one is gonna be one
hell of a match!! DJ, who is your pick for this match??

DJ: Umm..Ice all the way baby!!

TB: And how bout you Lorin??

Lorin: Hmm..my hunnie Kris Kanton will win this with ease!!

TB: Ok!! Both wrestlers are in the ring as they were introduced during our
bullshit convo!! So...

*Ding, Ding, Ding!!*

TB: And this match is underway!! Kris and Ice slap hands and they start!!
Ice is measuring up Kanton up, but Kanton isn't letting him set a move!! And
they lock up, Kris whips Ice to the ropes, and a back body drop!! Kris
Kanton gets up and a spear!!! Ice quickly gets up and gets clotheslined by
Kris Kanton!!!

Lorin: Kanton picks up Ice and whips him into the corner. He charges at him
but Ice puts his boot up and Kris Kanton falls back!! Ice climbs the top
rope and leaps off and lands on Kanton!! The pin!! 1...2...THR!! NO!! Kanton
and Ice both up quick and Ice with a clothesline!! Kanton up quick again and
Ice clotheslines him again!! Kris Kanton gets up quickly yet again, ducks
the clothesline, turns around and kicks Ice in the gut and powerbombs him to
the mat!!

DJ: C'mon Kris!! Kris Kanton pounding away on Ice, he lifts him up, and
starts to slam on his back. He whips him to the ropes, and locks him into a
sleeper hold!! Ice trying to find his way to the ropes..he stops, and A

TB: Wow, Ice isn't even letting Kris Kanton get his head into th game as he
is attacking him right after climbing into the ring. Stomping away on the
head of Kris Kanton is Ice!! Ice has him up on his feet now, and he whips
him into the far turnbuckle, and chases after him. Missing a HUGE avalanche
as Kanton slips out at the last second! Kanton dropping elbows onto the
chest that Ice just ran into the turnbuckle. Kanton is lifting up Ice now
from the mat, and Irish Whip into the ropes, and coming right at him with a
dropkick to the left knee. Kanton is using his smarts here, going after the
foundation of his bigger opponent.

DJ: Kanton back up now though and is blocking another attempted irish whip
by Ice!! Ice with clubbing left hands to the back of Kris Kanton and now
sending him with his own irish whip into the ropes, and catching Ice with a
MONSTROUS Powerslam! Kanton is holding his lower back, and now is holding
his entire body after that big splash by Ice!! The pin!! 1...2... and a
kickout by Kris Kanton!!! Ice grabbing him by the hair again, picking him

Lorin: Ice just punched him right in the face, and is filling him up even
more now. Kanton stumbling back into the corner trying to ward off those
fists. Ice is stalking towards him and looking out to the crowd as he does.
Kanton hoping onto the second rope and coming at the unaware Ice with a
clothesline to the throat. And Ice is down and down hard!! Kris Kanton with
the cover, 1...2..THR! Kickout by Ice!!!

TB: Kanton is realeasing that he is going to have to use a lot of force to
get his tag partner down, and he is trying to sneak up behind him now.
Kanton just hit a Side Russian Leg Sweep on Ice, and is bouncing right back
up into the fray. Kanton dropping a legdrop on Ice, and now another one!!
Kanton is grabbing onto Ice's leg, and he is trying to lock on one of the
biggest figure 4 leglocks I have ever seen!! WOW!! He has it hooked in now
and Ice is trying to break the hold! He is screaming and trying to roll
over. Kanton is doing his best to fight him though!!

DJ: And Ice turns him over!! Ice now back onto his feet shaking out his
knee, and grabbing Kris Kanton!! again. Big Vertical Suplex on Kanton!! Ice
has it!! with the cover, 1...2...THR!! NO! He kicked out!! MY GOD!!

Lorin: Kanton up, and nails Ice with a right hand, Ice is stumbled back,
and wait..The Fear Effect!! It's over!! HE CONNECTS!! And Ice is knocked out
cold!! 1..2..3!!!

TB: Here comes the stretcher!! I guess when The Fear Effect was put on Ice,
he must have landed ackwardly and hurt his arm!! They are taking Ice out on
a stretcher and hopefully we will have a update on him soon!!! Let's move

**Commercial Break**
Donnie Daze v Douglas Howland

TB: We have a great match next.

Lorin: Who?

DJ: Look at the sheet ya dumb slut!


DJ: Hey!


DJ falls over and quickly gets back to his seat.

TB: It' s Donnie "DD" Daze and Douglas Howland.

DJ: I hate newbies!

Lorin: I actually have to argee with him on that. They usually don' t take
their time and go too fast.

DJ: That' s other type of wrestling.


DJ: Geez it' s not my fault you're a whore!


DJ: Sorry, Sorry.

Pardon Me by Incubus plays and Donnie makes his way to the ring. The song fades
and Make Me Bad by KoRn plays as Douglas runs to the ring.

Lorin: Told you their fast.

DJ: That isn' t the only thing fast over here.


TB: Will you two grow up. I actually WANT to keep my job.

DJ and Lorin: Sorry

Douglas runs in and starts trading punches with Donnie. Donnie ducks a punch
and scores an Atomic Drop. Douglas tries to get to his feet, but Donnie trips and
him and applies an Indian Death Lock.

DJ: Just watching that move in action bothers my back.

Douglas is starting to power out by pull Donnie' s arms away from his head.
Douglas twist into a Test of Strength between the two.

TB: Old School Wrestling is Back!

DJ: Urgh.

Donnie is losing and begins to falls to one knee. He slowly regains the
standstill. Douglas knees him in the gut and Northern Lights Suplex w/ Bridge.

Ref: 1…2…kickout

Lorin: Thought we had another rookie quickie.

Doulgas picks him up and Snap Suplex. Douglas hangs on for a second try and
reversal by Donnie. Snap Suplex. Douglas is getting up first but is stopped by a
foot sweep by Donnie. Donnie grabs his legs and drags him to center of the ring
and applies a Figure Four Leg Lock.

Ref: Do you submit?

Douglas: Do you have hair?

Ref: No.

Douglas: There' s your answer retard.

Douglas is starting to turn over, but Donnie is trying to fight it. Douglas
reverses it. Donnie reverses it. Douglas reverses it again and locks in a Scorpion
Death Lock. Douglas while locking the move walks to the center of the ring.
Donnie is going in the opposite direction and grabs the ropes. Douglas pulls his
wraps his arms on his legs and yanks Donnie off the ropes to the center of the
ring. Douglas pulls off a Giant Swing.

TB: I' m lovin this.

DJ: And I' m hating it. Gimme some High Flying.

Lorin: I' m liking the submissions.

DJ: I' ll make ya tap out. Hehehe.


Lorin: Dream On.

Douglas after using the Giant Swing holds on to Donnie' s legs, flips forward
for a Pin with Bridge.

Ref: 1…2…kickout. Douglas picks Donnie up. Donnie delivers a thumb to Douglas'
eye. Donnie turns to the ropes and Doulgas stumbles forward and Mule Kick.

Lorin: Dammit. That part of the body is only meant to be loved….by me!

Donnie turns around attempts a hurricanranna, but Douglas reverses it to his
finisher, Emergency Room Trip Required {Powerbomb turned DDT.}!

Ref: 1…2…3!

Announcer: And your winner is Doulgas Howland!

TB: Both of these guys have a bright future ahead of them in the IML2!

**Commercial Break**

TB - OK, here we go it's going to be BJ Smith, Razorback and-

DJ - Fuc-!


DJ - What the f-



Lorin - I wouldn't advise you to go any further.

DJ - OK...

TB - Whoa. He shut right up.

DJ - ... ... ... ...

Lorin - Razorback, BJ Smith and Nucking Futs will all go at it here tonight, in a triple

TB - Razorback is going to win this, no questions asked.

Lorin - Why do you say that?

TB - Well it's simple math, he's just the better athlete, I think.

DJ - But the guy's-


DJ - Ahhhhhh....

[The camera cuts to the ring where the announcer stands with a mic.]

Announcer - And making his way to the ring at this time, he is,

[Razorback comes in to a pretty good crowd pop.]

Announcer - And now, here is BJ SMIIIIIIIIIIIITTHHH!!!!

TB - BJ Smith and Razorback are going at it already!!

Announcer - Now, here comes NUCKING FUTS!!!!!!

[Nucking Futs runs in and jumps into the battle right off.]

Lorin - Razorback falls behind and Futs dominates Smith, and he's bleeding already!!
His nose is bleeding!


TB - Now Razorback still isn't doing anything, he's just hanging around the corners with
Futs fights Smith. Futs goes off the ropes for a clothesline... Smith ducks... BACK

DJ - C'mon Futs!

Lorin - They're both back up and Smith decks Futs across thew face and he goes down
hard again, but kicks Smith in the Futs! I mean, nuts!

TB - Futs gets to his feet quickly and stomp Smith in the face, then picks him up and
hits the MISTAKEN IDENDITY!!! IT'S OVER!! Wait a sec...

DJ - HAHA! Razorback is distracting the referee!!!! He ruins around him and then Futs
goes and trips onto the ref!!! They're both down... ha... the ref hurt his balls!

TB - Futs is attending to him, while Smith gets back uo and start fighting Razorback.

Lorin - Smith hit Razorback with the Platinum Title! He's out cold after doing nearly
nothing the entire match!!

DJ - The ref is back up, and walking funny, HA HA! Smith pins Razorback!

TB - The ref counts!!




Lorin - BJ SMITH WINS!!!!

Announcer - And your winner, BJ SMIIIIIIIITH!!!

TB:LOOK! Nucking Futs helps up Smith, as Futs grabs Razorback... MISTAKEN IDENTITY! Razorback is down and out!

DJ:Here comes Kyle Kash! Kash slides in, and Futs, Kash, and Smith all hug! Or dear god! This isn't good for Razorback!

Lorin:VP Eric is quick to respond! Razorback and Nucking Futs, Die Viehisch Tag, two out of three falls matchup! We've got to get to a commercial break!

**Commercial Break**

Mix Tag Team Partner Match
Jack Harmen & Hiep Barmitzah vs. Enfirno & J.J. Nuclear

TB: Well, we've got a great match up now, mix tag team match, Enfirno and Nuclear against newcomers "Reckless" Jack Harmen and Hiep Barmitzah. We saw Enfirno and Nuclear get taken down on Melee last week!

DJ: The rookies did do a pretty big number on the veterans.

Lorin: We might as well get to the ring…

Chris Astro: This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a tag team match up. Introducing first, from the rookie side of things. He hails from Philadelphia, PA, and weighs in at 200 pounds. He is the master of the HARMENIZER! Here is "Reckless" Jack Harmen!

("I'm Broken" by Pantera plays over the system as Jack Harmen walks out from the back carrying a kendo stick in one hand. He raises it up to the crowd, receiving mostly boos. Harmen slides into the ring.)

Chris Astro: And his tag team partner, He hails from ____________ and weighs in at ____ pounds. Here is HIEP BARMITZAH!

("____" by ??? starts up as Hiep walks out from the back, receiving a good response. Hiep slides in, as he stares down Harmen.)

TB: This is going to be great. These two men's skills will be shown to pure perfection today here. Enfirno will definitly have to get along with Nuclear though!

Chris Astro: Their opponents. Introducing first, he is the modern day IML2 TIME bomb! Here is J. J. Nuclear!

("Time Bomb" by Godsmack starts up as J.J. Nuclear walks out from the back. He receives boos like crazy, as Nuclear slides in.)

JT: Harmen and Barmitzah jump Nuclear! What a move!

*Ding, ding, ding*

TB: Harmen grabs Nuclear, and whips him off the ropes, double back body drop by Hiep and Jack! Barmitzah grabs Nuclear, and throws him into the corner. Hiep grabs Jack by the arm, and throws him into the corner as well, but Jack, cartwheel turned back flip back elbow!

DJ: Nuclear falls down in the corner, as Harmen grabs Nuclear, overhead belly to belly suplex!

("Mysery" by ??? starts up over the pa system as the fans burst in cheers. Enfirno races out from the back, and pulls Hiep Barmitzah out of the ring underneath the bottom rope!)

DJ: He can't do that!

TB: He just did! Enfirno rights and lefts on Hiep, whips him into the steel steps! Enfirno slides into the ring... CANDLE-STICK ONTO JACK HARMEN! Harmen is down and out, as Nuclear is just getting to his feet!

Lorin:Enfirno is forced into his corner, as Hiep is trying to get up. Nuclear grabs Enfirno from behind, german suplex, 1-2-NO! Harmen gets his foot tangled in the rope.

TB:I don't think that was intentional. I think he was completely out of it. Nuclear can't believe it, as he tags in Enfirno. Nuclear grabs Harmen... holding him for the candle-stick...


Lorin:Hiep clotheslines Enfirno down to the mat. Hiep grabs Enfirno, and throws him off the ropes... picks him up, BRAINBUSTER! BRAINBUSTER!

TB:Harmen is up, Hiep grabs Enfirno, whips him off the ropes... picked up for a flapjack, Harmen turns it into a facebuster! Hiep with a cover, 1-2-3! Hiep and Harmen win! Nuclear charges Harmen, HARMENIZER!

TB:LOOK! It's Lance McNally! He grabs that singapore cane, and CRACKS it over Hiep Barmitzah's head! And one for Enfirno and Nuclear as well! McNally leaves the ring as the fans cheer him on.

**Commercial Break**

Main Event
Kyle Kash & God vs. Kurt Zoom & Dustin Dachey


DJ: This is by far the worst main event I have ever saw! Why is Kyle Kash
and God teaming up together?

Lorin: Well....

DJ: And why is Kurt Zoom and Dustin Dachey teaming together?

Lorin: You see the thing is ....

DJ: What was that? You sort of trailed off there didn't you? You know I'm


Lorin: Why don't you shut up and listen to some Kid Rock or something?

DJ: Eww ... Kid Rock?

TB: All right, I think I've heard enough of this, let's just try to call
this match.

("Vudo Child" by Jimi Hendrix starts to play as God comes out.)

DJ: Here comes GOD! OH YEAH!

Ring Announcer: The following match-up is scheduled for ONE FALL and is TAG
TEAM ACTION! First coming down to the ring ... at 278 pounds, GOD!!!

Lorin: I can't believe this guy. This guy seriously believes he is god.

TB: It is out there. After all, he is at 6 foot 8 inches, and everybody
knows that humans evolved to become taller. In fact back in the day of Adam
and Eve if a guy was more than 5 feet he was tall. So theoretically, if God
made people out of his image, then he had to be about 3 feet.

DJ: Ummmm .... how bout them Lakers?

Lorin: Lakers? Pacer's all the way!

DJ: B*TCH! What the hell you smoking?

Lorin: Don't call me a b*tch! Anyway, who cares about baketball? I can't
believe the Flyers lost.

TB: Hockey? Heh.

Lorin: Hey, why don't you go figure out the exact height and weight of God

("Never Dies" by Creed starts to play as Kyle Kash starts walking out.)

DJ: Boo! Kash USED to be good, but Foray is out! Plus he's interuppting
Lorin b*tching out TB!

Lorin: OH will you be quiet? Kyle Kash is the best!

Ring Announcer: AND HIS OPPONENT ... at 245 pounds, KYLE KASH!!!

TB: Wait a second Kyle Kash and God are talking in the middle of the ring.
I think they're arguing about who should start this match up.

("Total Devestation" by Slip Knot starts up as Dustin Dachey runs to the ring
with a two by four.)

TB: Here comes Dustin Dachey with a 2 by 4. He nails Kyle Kash in the back.
Ducks a clothesline from God, 2 by 4 right to the face of God! That thing
just shattered! Oh jeez, God might have splinters in his eyes!

DJ: Here comes Kurt Zoom now walking from the back. He pulls Kyle Kash out
of the ring. Irish whip right into steel turnbuckle! THAT COULD DISLODGE

*Ding Ding Ding*

Lorin: Well the match just started. God and Dachey are in the ring right
now. God and Dachey lock up, God gets Dachey in a headlock, Dachey sends him
off to the ropes, clothesline by Dachey.

DJ: God right back up, Dachey with a drop kick. God staggers to his feet,
Dachey pulls him up, vertical suplex! Dachey comes over to his corner by
Zoom, tag ....

TB: NO! Dachey pulled his hand back just as Zoom was about to tag it. Zoom
is mad there. Whichever team cooperates better will be the winner. God
takes advantage of the words between Dachey and Zoom and has tagged in Kyle

Lorin: Here he comes, from behind Dachey, GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridge, One ...
Two ... kickout. Dachey back up Kash with a kick to the gut, DDT! Kash
picks Dachey up, and throws him into his turnbuckle. Kash makes the tag to

TB: God and Kash working well together, double brainbuster! Cover, one...
two... kickout by Dustin Dachey. That was a close one. God sends Dachey to
the ropes, Kurt Zoom makes a blind tag on Dachey's shoulder!

DJ: Zoom comes on and throws Dachey right over the top rope! That's what I
like to see! He blocks a punch from God and delivers a HARD right to God.
God is down. Zoom is stomping the hell out of God. The ref pulls Zoom off,
Zoom pushes him down.



DJ: MAC D! He's running in from backstage. He rolls into the ring, big
clothesline on Smith. Kyle Kash with a chair ...


TB: Mac D is down! Dachey has come back into the ring Kash hits him right
across the face with the chair. Kash now starts pounding the chair right
into Dachey's leg! That could injure's anybody leg!

DJ: Zoom from behind God, he turns him around, 100%! Zoom with the cover
.... the ref counts ... ONE! TWO! THREE! Zoom and Dachey wins ... but I
think Dachey's knee is shattered!

TB:We've got to go! Get ready for Monday Night Melee!

(Fade Out)
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