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Thursday, May 4, 2000
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Events
Monday Night Melee
"Operation Clean Sweap"
Main Event
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Lance McNally defends once again against Evan Noce
McNally recently won the title from Noce, let's see if it wasn't a pure fluke as two IML2 greats battle it out for the World Heavyweight championship. Let's find out who's the better man!

Atlantic Championship Matchup
Four Corners Elimination Match for the vacated title.
Chris Page vs. Mystic Tragedy vs. Myst vs. Kurt Zoom

Hardcore Title UnVacate Match
V-Day Blowout
They will fight inside a ring shaped like a giant heart, except it will not be a ring. There will not be ropes, but it will be more like an inground swimming pool. First person to escape the pool wins. Oh yeah, once again, weapons line the ringside area and, hey, if you want one, we'll toss it to you, but of course, it won't be your normal weapons. The weapons will be related in some way or another to FEB. 14. The pit is about a good ten feet down, and therefore they will need a ladder to get out. Also, once both men get into the empty ring, they have twenty minutes to leave the pool, or else they shall be blown up by C-4!
Hardcore Harry Hood vs. The Drunken Bastard Billy Ray
At the PPV on the 20th, there will be a battle royal with all the newcomers. The winner of that recieves the Hardcore title shot THAT Night! These two are grouped together due to what their names say. It seems they are both Hardcore, so why not give them a title shot!

RP OR YOUR FIRED!
The Chairman vs. Excaliber
Irish Michael Sullivan vs. Alex Reynold
Dan Shepard & A Mystery Partner vs. The New Sensations
=====================================================================
(The camera pans around the Gund Arena in Cleveland Ohio as the fans are going crazy! "Sway" by Coal Chamber is blasting over the pa system as the camera pans around the crowd. They are holding up such signs as "Infrastructure Man rules!", "Dane Matthews turned his tail running!, "Tom Ford sucks", as well as the infamous "Where is G.I. Bro." The camera pans around the MNM ring and rests apon the commentary booth where president Tom Ford, VP Keegan, and Tom Baines, all wearing suits, black, white, and gray respectfully.)

VP Keegan:IML2! We have the last card before the huge pay per view Vengeful Encounters. It's going to be in the Main Event, right now, Evan Noce defending against Mystic Tragedy, Myst, and what was supposed to be Dane Matthews!

Baines:As you saw on Melee last week, Dane Matthews retired from the IML2 to focus on other aspects of his life. He has given up his Atlantic championship, and that will be decided tonight in the four corners elimination matchup!

Prez Ford:Booked by me! I booked this entire card, and I've been the one to decide what is going on with these championship belts.

Baines:And what about the Hardcore title situation! Christain Livewire was the champion, but in a match with you a week and a half ago forced Livewire out of the IML2!

Prez Ford:Well, I've decided that tonight it will be Hardcore Harry Hood going against the Billy Ray.

VP Keegan:I believe that's The Drunken Bastard by the way.

Baines:And what about the main event! The new IML2 World Heayvweight champion Lance McNally fights Evan Noce for the championship! This match could have a drastic effect on the IML2 Pay per view event Vengeful Encounters! If Noce wins, the main event is as is! But is McNally wins, that matchup could become odd.

VP Keegan:In reality, we could have McNally defending the championship against a different competitor, or going into that match and making it a four corners. We have the president here, what's going on with the pay per view?

Prez Ford:Well, I'll decide as the night goes on. It depends on what goes on. We might as well go to the first matchup of the evening... The Chairman versus Excaliber

The Chairman vs. Excaliber

VP Keegan:What is this all about?

Baines:Well, it's Chairman and Excaliber fighting one another in a matchup that has an odd stipulation. Decide by president Ford. Why don't you tell us that now?

Prez Ford:Well, the odd stipulation is that the loser of this matchup is going to have to watch twenty hours straight... of sixty minutes

Baines:60 minutes? I liked that show. That's not really a punishment...

VP Keegan:Of course YOU would, but I'm sure Excaliber or the Chairman do not. You care to go to the ring?

Prez Ford:Not really, I mean, this is going to pretty much bore the IML2, but let's go.

Baines:Actually, we have to go to a commercial break first.

*Commericial Break**

Loser has to watch twenty hours straight of Sixty Minutes
Excaliber vs. Chairman

Baines:Welcome back to MNM. We have here Excaliber and Chairman, as both men has made their way to the ring.

*Ding, ding, ding*

VP Keegan:I can't stand this. Tell me when it's over.

Ford:Well, it seems like Chairman is going for the legs of Excaliber, trying to pull Excaliber down to the canvas, but it's not working. Excaliber jumps out of the way.

Baines:Chairman dives again, and Excaliber drops back and bounces off the ropes, falls forward and lands on top of Chairman with an elbow. Chairman falls down to the mat hard, as Excaliber is lying on top of him.

Ford:JEEZ! Come on! Somebody get up! We all know you're out of shape form not wrsetling in two months but get your lazy asses up!

Keegan:I heard yelling... is it over?

Baines:No, but it may as well be, after an elbow. Wait, look, we have motion. Excaliber is up and picks up Chairman. Excaliber throws Chairman into the corner, as he charges in. Chairman ducks down for a back body drop, no, Excaliber kind of goes over, but is lying on top of Chairman, who is now standing. Chairman can't support the weight and falls backwards.

Ford:But Excaliber is on top of Chairman, 1-2-NO! Kickout by Excaliber! Chairman gets a shoulder up. Chairman and Excaliber are both up, and are now pounding away at each other with rights and lefts. Brawling in the center of the ring.

Fans:BOR-ING!

Keegan:HAHA! They got that right!

Baines:And we see Chairman go down from Excaliber. Now Chairman, down on the canvas, drives his shoulder into the legs of Excaliber.Excaliber falls down as well, as Chairman with a cover, 1-2-NO! kickout by Excaliber.

Ford:Somebody win soon, or else I'm going to make everyone watch sixty minutes, even the fans.

Keegan:That's just wrong!

Baines:Anyway, Chairman has Excaliber up, and now goes for a piledriver, and drives Excaliber into the mat. But Chairman falls backwards and hits his head on the bottom turnbuckle. This is just pathetic right about now. I've been watching wrestling for over ten years now and I can't believe this!

Ford:Wait! What the hell! In from the back comes a black man dressed in army pants! And here comes another man that's about as tall as a redwood! The black man slides in and grabs Chairman, arm bar!

Keegan:And look! That huge man has Excaliber, and picks him up above his head, SNAKE EYES! That must have been at least a good ten foot drop from the elevation that this huge man gave him! The referee is calling for the bell!

Baines:Does that means this is a double disqualificaiton?

Ford:I believe it does, and you know what that means?

Baines:What does it mean?

Ford:Both of them are going to have to watch sixty minutes! HAHAHAHA! This is great!

Keegan:Shut up! I want to hear who the hell these guys are!

(The ebony man has grabed a microphone and begins to speak. He has a crew cut along with army pants and camoflouge shirt. The works. The other man has on a Nascar racing shirt as well as Blue jeans, and has a gray crew cut.)

Ebony Man:Listen here! The IML2 is nothing but trash! There is not one man in the back that could defeat either one of us, and if they even try, they better run for petes sake, before they get the back rake. They may pray for a choke, but all they are going to get is an eye poke. They may want to shop at the gap, but all that they are going to be paying for is the Intimidation slap, and they better run away to their car, before G.I. Bro locks on the Army Bar!

Ford:It's G.I. Bro! And that must have been the Army bar!

Other man:With all my years of nascar, I have yet to see a man who is as tough, or as strong as myself. I challenge any of you fans out there to bench press a cow and milk it at the same time! I challenge you to punch out a horse, and I dare you to take a grenade, pull the pin, stuff it in your pants, and take it like a real man!

Baines:That's just sick!

VP Keegan:I wonder if he can still have kids.

Other Man:Because Junior "Snakehips" Johnson is a real man, and he's done all of the above! Now, hit the music for the Snakehips Army!

Ford:YES! Junior Johnson and G.I. Bro have made their IML2 debut! The Snakehips army is here!

("Grenade in my pants/G.I. Bro Anthem" by the Cow Bench Pressers plays over the pa system as G.I. Bro and Junior Johnson make their way to the back and leave. Ford makes his way into the ring.)

Ford:Oh, I'm so sorry that both of you had to be victims to the Snakehips Army but the stipulation said, and now you have to uphold it! You two will now watch twenty hours straight of sixty minutes!

Chairman:What the hell are you talking about! We never agreed to that!

Ford:It's called reading! Ever try it? Now get these people in the back right now!

Excaliber:And what if we refuse!

(Ford snaps his fingers as about four cops come walking out from the back. Ezcaliber and Chairman reluctantly make their way out to the cops, who escort them into the back.)

**Comercial Break**

Baines:We are back here on Monday Night Melee, as we have witnessed the debut of the Snakehips Army. We have also seen Tom Ford force both Chairman and Excaliber to watch twenty straight hours of sixty minutes! What could be next!

Keegan:Well, up next, Dan Shepard and a mystery partner go head to head with Zero Casulaties. I'm wondering who the mystery man could be?

Baines:Maybe it's G.I. Bro or that Junior Johnson character.

Ford:First off, I changed it to the New Sensations... and second off... Baines, shut up. You know nothing of the legend of G.I. Bro, Junior Johnson, and the Snakehips army.

Baines:Care to explain?

Ford:Well, Junior Johnson is a former Nascar owner turned wrestler. He's been known to punch out horses and bench press cows at the same time. One time in the vietnam war, he took a grenade that had the pin pulled and put it in his pants, and took it like a real man. Junior Johnson is 99 percent muscle as well, and weighs well over 700 pounds. G.I. Bro met Johnson in the army after Bro was the head of Johnson's patrol. They met, clicked, and now are a tag team that wrecks havoc on many different organizations.

Baines:Whatever, let's go to the ring where both of the new Sensations have made their way into the ring.

(The camera goes back to the ring when "Loser" by Beck plays over the pa system. Out from the back walks Dan Shepard wearing a tiger jump suit? Is that an eighties flashback or what? He's has a sweatband around his forehead as well as a pair of thick glasses with tape in the middle. Shepard gets into the ring. Ford climbs in as well.)

Shepard:Hey Ford! Who's my gosh dang linolium partner?

Ford:Shepard, since your name seems to be of a herder, the only partner I could think of is....

("Sheeps R Us", an IML2 remix plays over the pa system as out from the back security carries a sheep. The security guard sets the sheep into the ring.)

Ford:Enjoy.

(Ford leaves as both of The New Sensations start hammering on Shepard.)

Dan Shepard and a Sheep vs. The New Sensations

Baines:What is going on in your mind Ford! A sheep! Get real!

Keegan:NS has Shepard and whips him off the ropes. Shepard comes back as both members of NS elbow Shepard in the stomach, double jumpiing knee to Shepard knocks him down.

Baines:How come the referee isn't getting New Sensations out of there! There should only be one person in the ring at all times.

Ford:Well, as you can clearly see, the sheep has the referee distracted! The sheep just won't get to it's corner either! That's why it's a double team by NS! New Sensations have Shepard now, and whip him off the ropes, back off, huge back body drop by NS!

Baines:Shepard rolls out of the ring to catch his breath. Wait, Eric Chandler Flies over the top rope and down to the mat below! Shepard crashes down on the oustide. Eric Chandler grabs Shepard, and throws him back into the ring.

Keegan:Shepard is hurting, as the other guy turns him around, kick to the gut, huge sit down powerbomb on Dan Shepard! 1-2-NO! Shepard kicks out! the other guy tags in Eric Chandler, as the other guy locks Shepard into an arm bar. Eric Chandler from the top rope flips in mid air and grabs his arm, and smashes it over his shoulder on the way down! Shepard grabs that arm in pain.

Baines:Eric Chandler dropkicks Shepard down to the mat, as he holds his face. Eric Chandler grabs Shepard, Mahistrol cradle, 1-2-NO! Dan Shepard gets a shoulder up! I don't know how he did. Shepard quickly makes it over to his corner, but he realises it's just a sheep!

Ford:HAHA! This is great! Shepard is pissed. You can't do anything Shepard!

Keegan:Eric Chandler turns Shepard around and throws him off the ropes. Shepard comes back off and recieves a diving elbow shot to the head. Shepard hits the mat hard, as Eric Chandler tags in his partner.

Baines:the other guy comes in, and measures up the fallen Shepard. Huge leg drop! 1-2-NO! Shepard continues to get the shoulder up!

Ford:I don't know how! Shepard sucks!

Baines:the other guy whips Shepard into the corner, and now they are about to finish Shepard off. I can feel it! SC2 tags in his partner, as they are setting Shepard for their finisher

Ford:NO! Shepard wiggles free, and dives, and he just tagged in the sheep!

Keegan:HAHAHAHA! That sheep is probably a better wrestler than Dan Shepard!

Baines:The sheep comes in, as both of the new sensations are looking at each other in hysteria! They are both laughing like crazy! And the sheep charges, Huge hoove shot by the sheep!

Ford:WAIT! The New Sensations are dead! They've just been killed by this sheep! This sheep is just stomping away at what was once the New Sensations! Eric Chandler, dear god they are both dead! This must be a ratings increase!

*Ding, ding, ding*

RA:And your winners, via default, Dan Shepard and a sheep!

(Shepard grabs a microphone.)

Shepard:You know what! IML2! I'm sick of this! I QUIT!

Ford:HAHAHA! You sucked anyway!

Baines:Look! That sheep is enraged! He just charged and spears Shepard down to the mat! Shepard is out cold! The sheep is on top, the referee with the count, 1-2-3! The sheep just beat the shepard!

Ford:HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is great! The sheep just defeated Dan Shepard!

Keegan:Dan Shepard is out cold, we have to go to break, we'll be right back!

**Commerical Break**
Irish Michael Sullivan vs. Alex Reynold

Baines:And once again I welcome each and everyone of you to Monday Night Melee! Up next we have the Irish man Michael Sullivan going against Alex Reynolds.

Keegan:Too bad we can't get to that Valentines day pit death match! I heard there's some revision to those stipulation!

Ford:Well, they have twenty minutes to get out or else I'm just pulling the trigger, and they are both going to fry!

Keegan:Please tell me that match is next! I just want to get to those title matches!

Baines:Well, it is Evan Noce fighting Lance McNally for the championship. Hopefully we'll see some great wrestling.

Ford:Actually, I believe the next matchup after this is the four corners Atlantic matchup.

Baines:We should be in the ring. Both Michael Sullivan and Alex Reynolds have made their way to the ring, and this match is under way.

*Ding, ding, ding*

VP Keegan:Are there any special stipulations to this matchup as well?

Ford:Hmmm... sure! Why the hell not! Let me think of something, give me a second.

Baines:While Ford is thinking, Sullivan just back body droped the charging Alex Reynolds. Reynolds gets back up off the canvas.

Ford:I've got it! The loser of this matchup has to walk around the town of cleveland wearing a pro Art Modell t-shirt! Yes!

Keegan:They are going to get their asses kicked!

Baines:Sullivan just pulled brass knuckles out of his pocket, and he just hit Alex Reynolds in his head! Reynolds hits the mat hard, and wait! Sullivan just decked himself too! What the hell is going on here! Irish Michael Sullivan just knocked himself out!

Ford:Figures, he is an irish man. They are drunk twenty four seven.

Baines:Not all irishmen are drunk all the time! That's a stereo type!

Keegan:Then what explains this bottle of gin in his enterance coat pocket?

Ford:SEE!

Baines:Wait, what the hell are the going through Michael Sullivan's coat for?

Keegan:Wow! His real name is Mitchell Sacksivan Gonzales. He's from Puetro Rico! His natural hair color is gray, and he's fifty six years old! And ... HAHAHA! Look at his picture!

Ford:HAHAHAHAHA!

Baines:Why you two were talking about Sullivan's drivers liscense! In the ring, the referee has reached his ten count! Both men have lost!

Ford:HAHAHAHAHA! That drivers license is funny! Just look at him!

Baines:I'm fair and objective... HAHAHAHA! I can't even stand it!

Ford:Hold up good sirs, I need to give these two men their respective stipulation!

(Ford gets into the ring and grabs a microphone.)

Ford:Hey Reynolds! You awake there buddy?

(Ford takes that gin which still has some liquor in it and pours it onto Alex Reynolds, awaking him.)

Ford:Reynolds, you just lost this matchup, and if you read the contract for the match, it stated that if you lost, you would have to wear a pro Art Modell t-shirt around the streets of Cleveland! And Gonzales! Wake up Drunkie! You lost too! You'll both have to do it, and if you don't, you shall both be sued to the fullest extent of the law. Good day.

(Reynolds pulls himself up as Sullivan gets up but falls right back down the canvas.)

**Comericial Break**

Baines:Fans of the IML2! Right now we are going to cut to the backstage scene where we will see Excaliber and Chairman starting to watch their twenty straight hours of sixty minutes.

(The camera goes back to the back where a fifty year old projecter of shown playing sixty minutes. They are both cuffed and chained to their chairs with their eyes taped open! They can't stop it either!)

Chairman:NO! NOT MORE Mike Wallace! Somebody please shoot me!

Excaliber:I wish I had some of that beer that Sullivan offered us earlier! Then I could at least fantasize about that women anchor.

Chairman:You are sick man! She's an ugly ho!

Excaliber:But it's nothing that a six pack and a light switch won't cure!

Chairman:You're wrong....

Excaliber:Hey, for the little action I get though, I don't know if I would want the lights off!

Chairman:Don't make me throw up on myself! Sixty minutes is enough to do that, but you and yor sex talk with her! Of all people!

Excaliber:I wonder if I can sleep with my eyes open.

Chairman:I already tried... I'm going to go insane.

(The camera goes back out to the arena.)

Baines:I never thought that Sixty minutes was that bad! I like sixty minutes.

Keegan & Ford:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ford:That's gold!

Keegan:That is too! I can't believe someone admitted that they watch sixty minutes on national television.

Baines:I thought we went to a commercial? DAMNIT! CUT NOW!

**Commercial Break**

Keegan:And we're back at Melee, with up next the four corners Atlantic Championship matchup! This is for the vacant belt! We've got a former world champion in there in Myst, as well as a number one contender for the World Championship in Mystic Tragedy. Mystic Tragedy looks to be fighting the world champion one on one this weekend at Vengeful Encounters!

Ford:That's right, as of now, he's slated to fight the winner of the main event. This is due to this being both Myst and Evan Noce's last match. We've been losing a lot of our talent as of late, but we just sign a few great IML2 wrestlers, along with some more coming soon!

Baines:What's the deal with the pay per view? It seems to be kept hush hush and confidential.

Ford:You want a pay per view card? Main Event, Mystic Tragedy versus either Lance McNally or Evan Noce. If Noce loses today, that will be his last match, but if he wins, he'll have to defend the title this sunday against MT! If Mystic Tragedy walks out of here tonight, that matchup will be a title for title match!

Baines:A title for title!?!

Keegan:I'm pulling for Mystic Tragedy. A title for title match would rule!

Ford:Right now, it'll be either Hardcore Harry or the Drunken Bastard defending the hardcore title against Chris Page! And if Page wins this matchup later tonight, that matchup will also be title for title!

Keegan:I hope it's either Page or Mystic Tragedy! But what happens if someone else wins the title, like Myst?!?!

Ford:Well, they will defend it against a newcomer on a evaulation notice basis.

Baines:That's pretty good...

Ford:Then we are addressing the tag team championship situation! We have signed four new tag teams, and they will be squaring off in a single evening four team single elimination tournament for the gold.

Baines:We drastically need tag teams. Four tag teams? That's a great large amount!

Ford:We've also got a Hardcore Battle Royal, where most of the new talent signed will fight each other for a shot at the Hardcore title in a week's time, the Melee a week after the Pay per view! So you'll see that either Hardcore Harry or the Drunken Bastard will have a tough schedule ahead!

Baines:We should get to the ring. We've missed Kurt Zoom's introduction, as well as the former World Champion Myst's introduction as well! Four Corners Atlantic title matchup!

Atlantic Championship Matchup
Four Corners Elimination Match for the vacated title.
Chris Page vs. Mystic Tragedy vs. Myst vs. Kurt Zoom

RA:And their opponent. Hailing from and weighing in tonight at ???.(I need your app again) Here is Chris Page!

("Chris Page rules", and IML2 remix plays as out from the back walks Chris Page. He has a focused look on him, as he slides into his corner.)

RA:And their opponents. He hails from Parts unknown and weights in tonight at 350 pounds! Here is the number one contender for the World Heavyweight championship... Mystic Tragedy!

("Wait and Bleed" by Slipknot plays over the pa system as out from the back walks Mystic Tragedy. He gets a huge pop from the fans, as he slides into the ring. He immediatly attacks Myst in the corner, nailing him with rights and lefts.)

*Ding, ding ding*
Baines:Mystic Tragedy is hammering away at Myst with rights and lefts and sends Myst into the corner. Myst gets whipped into the other corner, as MT comes running in with a splash, but Myst moves out of the corner.

Keegan:Myst caught off guard looks towards Chris Page for a tag, but Page turns around and ignores Myst!

Ford:Now Tragedy has Myst again, and nails him with a huge release German Suplex, sending Myst into the corner of Kurt Zoom!

Baines:Myst is getting up, and looks towards Zoom for a tag, but Zoom turns away as well! Myst is pissed!

Baines:And Mystic Tragedy has tagged in Chris Page. Myst turned around, RIGHT INTO THE __________(Page's finisher) Myst is out cold in the middle of the ring! Chris Page covers Myst, 1-2-NO... YES! 3! Myst has been pinned by Chris Page! I think Myst could have gotten a shoulder up, but decided not to!

Ford:Myst slides out of the ring, and flicks off the wrestlers! I wonder if our censors care to edit that!

Keegan:Myst is leaving the Gund Arena pissed as all hell! And now Kurt Zoom attacks Chris Page in the middle of the ring. Kurt Zoom hammers Page with a huge right hand, sending him down to his knees. Zoom goes for a gutwrench something, but Page just drives his body into Zoom's midsection, and sends Zoom to the mat.

Baines:Page tags in Mystic Tragedy, who begins hammering Zoom with kicks to the midsection. Mystic Tragedy throws Zoom off of the corner into the other corner, and then charges in with a huge running shoulderblock! Zoom wobbles out, as MT comes off the ropes and nails Zoom with a bulldog!

Ford:Mystic Tragedy quickly covers Zoom, 1-2-NO! Foot on the ropes from Zoom. Zoom is clutching his head, as Mystic Tragedy picks him up on his shoulders, WHAT a crucifix bomb!(Razor's edge!!) Zoom is laid out! I think the back of his neck may have landed ackwardly.

Keegan:Mystic Tradegy climbs up top, and nails him with a huge tennesse jam leg drop off the top. Mystic Tragedy with a cover, 1-2-3! That's it! When MT dumped Zoom on his neck, that was it.

Ford:Tragedy celebrating, but Chris Page comes charging in and lays a huge elbow shot to the back of Tragedy, sending Tragedy crumbling down to the mat. Page climbs onto Tragedy's back, and locks him in a huge camel clutch. It's almost as if he's standing while applying that.

Keegan:Wait, Page leaned back to far, and Tragedy was able to stand! Tragedy has Page on his shoulder, ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! Tragedy just threw Page down face first in from of him. Tragedy has this match in firm control!

Baines:I think Tragedy is going for his finisher... he picks Page up, AND THERE IT IS! THE _____________!!! Mystic Tragedy covers Page, 1-2-3! And we have a new Atlantic champion in Mystic Tragedy! Mystic Tragedy is the new Atlantic Champion!

Keegan:That means that it will be title for title main event at the pay per view. Wait! Here comes Lance McNally! McNally hammers away as Mystic Tragedy who was holding the Atlantic title high in the air!

Ford:Wait! There's the Drunken Bastard! He runs out fromt he back and starts pounding away at Chris Page, the number one contender to the Hardcore Championship!

Baines:Somebody better stop this.

Ford:And here comes someone with a barbed wire baseball bat? It's Hardcore Harry! Double H has the barbed wire bat and slides in. He swings and nails the Drunken Bastard with that barbed wire board! Lance McNally books out of there, as Hardcore Harry has a microphone.

Hardcore Harry:You know what Drunken Bastard. I've walked down to this ring once, and once is enough for one night. And Bastard, I want our match NOW! Don't worry about the commercials! Me and you NOW!

(The Drunken Bastard backs off as Hardcore Harry chases him.)

Baines:We desperatly have to get to a commercial break. If something happens we'll be sure to update you fans on it!

**Commericial break**
Baines:Welcome back to Melee!

Keegan:Dear god! I can't believe what just happened! Harry and Billy Ray haven't even gotten to the ring, but Hardcore Harry just threw the Bastard Billy Ray from our IML2 Video and into a dumpster full of weapons, and then jumped down himself!

(The show replay on the left, while live feed is on the right. They are still in that dumpster.

Ford:That didn't happen to long ago, as both Harry and Ray are still down. Wait, I see a hand! It's Hardcore Harry! He starts climbing out of the dumpster and drags Ray with him. Harry throws Ray off the platform and into that ring shapped like a valentines day heart! There already is a ladder in there, and a couple of chairs, but Hardcore doesn't think that's enough.

Baines:Look at Harry! He grabs a stop sign and chucks it in from the platform. Harry grabs, is that a fire extinquisher? And a radio He throws the fire extinquisher into the ring, and I think I heard a crack.

Keegan:Those things are surprisingly strong. Harry also grabs, is that a nintendo? I loved those things! R.B.I Baseball two ruled!

Ford:But they were never better than the Mega Man series!

Keegan:Mega Man was good when it came out, but there were too many...

Baines:Shut up! Harry is in the ring now, and there's the bell! They have twenty minutes to get out of there before the ring exploades!

Ford:I've been informed that both Michael Sullivan and Alex Reynolds have been taken to the local hospital after being forced to wear Art Modell shirts around Cleveland. Sorry we couldn't show that for you fans.

Keegan:Look, Harry from the top of that ring now actually! You saying he went in Baines! Harry flies and cracks that bom box over the head of Billy Ray! Ray is down on the mat!

Ford:And now Hardcore Harry has a hankerchief? What the hell? That's long! He draps one half onto Billy Ray, and then picks up the other half. Wait! Harry has a lighter, and he lit the oil soaked rag! Billy Ray is on fire!

Baines:Someone get in there now!

Keegan:Look! He's trying to put him out!

*From ring*Hardcore Harry:Stupid pin!

Ford:Haha! Harry can't get the pin out! Stop drop and roll Billy!

Keegan:I wonder if Ray is drunk too!

Ford:Wouldn't be a first.

Baines:And now Harry pulls the pin and starts putting the fire out, but he's blinding Billy Ray in the process with that fire extinquisher! Billy Ray is out! Hardcore Harry is calling to the referee.

Harry:Give me a VCR... and a microphone, it hurts to yell!

Ford:And the referee's ablige. A vcr comes down in a box of padding, along with the mic.

Baines:And he picks up the microphone.

Hardcore Harry:You know what's funny Drunken bastard? That the IML2 would throw you to the wolves, the wolves meaning me! Why don't you quit, we can end this now!

Billy Ray:Where am I?

Keegan:And Harry knocks Billy Ray back down to the mat with a huge mic shot! Ray is down, as Harry grabs the nintendo, and now sets the VCR on top! Harry picks up Billy Ray, and he's going to powerbomb him onto the VCR and Nintendo in one shot!

Ford:NO! Back body drop by Billy Ray sends Harry crashing onto the VCR and NES! And now Ray grabs the microphone!

Billy Ray:Hey! Get me a beer, and a frog!

Baines:A frog? I can see the beer, just crack it over Harry's head, but a frog?

Keegan:He's drunk, what can we say.

Ford:And here it comes. Billy Ray quickly goes over and grabs the beer. He opens it? And he starts drinking it! He's an alcoholic!

Keegan:Al Coholic?

Ford:NO! Alcoh... nevermind.

Baines:Hardcore Harry is up, and he grabs the beer bottle out of the hand of Billy Ray! Ray turns around, HUGE bottle shot cracks the bottle over Billy Ray's head! He is out cold!

Ford:And now Harry calls for a table, which the referee's throw. Harry sets the table up, and puts Billy Ray on it, and body slams him on it!

Keegan:It didn't break! Usually it would break!

Baines:Harry doesn't care, he's setting up that ladder. He's going to win this matchup! Harry is climbing up it, and he's at the top. All he has to do is leave the ring!

Ford:HARRY JUST DOVE FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND ONTO BILLY RAY! THROUGH A TABLE! Both men are out cold in the ring!

BainesWe'll be right back!

**Commercial Break**
Baines:Welcome back fans, and as you just saw, Hardcore Harry just put Billy Ray through a table ten feet up! And now Harry is slowly climbing the ladder once more. Harry is nearing the top, and Billy Ray is climbing up the other side with the frog! Harry is up top, so is Ray, as they stare each other down. Billy Ray shows the frog to Harry, who swats it away! The frog just fell ten feet into a pile of stuffing! Billy Ray leaps back down for the injured frog! What is going on!

Keegan:Billy Ray is an idiot! Hardcore Harry, HE LEAVES THE PIT! We have a new Hardcore champion in Hardcore Harry!

Ford:The name says it all!

("Enter Sandman" by Metallica starts up as Evan Noce comes charging out from the back. He gets into the ring.)

Evan Noce:Screw these intros! I want my IML2 World Championship back, and you better get your ass down here before the count of ten!

Baines:We have footage of the sixty minutes quickly while Evan counts!

(The camera goes ot the back showing both Excaliber and Chairman going crazy. They are jumping around with the chairs, as Excaliber falls out of his chair. That's why the show is called sixty minutes! No one can stand anything longer! The camera fades back to the ring.)

Evan Noce:3-------2-----1-------

("Take On Me" by Reel Big Fish starts up over the pa system as the "Skater" Lance McNally makes his way out with the Heavyweight championship around his waist. He quickly slides into the ring as Noce uploads on him with rights and lefts.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

Main Event
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Lance McNally defends once again against Evan Noce

Baines:And this match is under way! Noce and McNally start off brawling as the referee drops the IML2 world title to the outside. Noce picks up the advantage and whips the skater off the ropes.

Keegan:Noce goes for a clothesline but McNally ducks under it. McNally off the other side, ducks under a back elbow, and now, HUGE double cross body by both men sends them both down to the mat.

Ford:This is it, the huge prize. Who goes to Vengeful Encounters! Who could it be! They both are slowly getting up, as McNally grabs Noce in an arm bar, and nails Noce with a jaw breaker out of now where. Noce hits the mat hard. McNally races off the ropes and lays down a quick elbow onto the neck area of Noce. Cover by McNally... 1-2-no!

Keegan:This is going to go back and forth for a while. McNally grabs Noce and whips him off the ropes, but it's reversed by Noce, and Noce nails McNally down to the mat with a short arm clothesline!

Baines:Wait a second! It's Mystic Tragedy! Noce does see him, and MT has the belt, TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF NOCE!! Noce goes down hard, as McNally never saw it! McNally picks up Noce, JUST ROCKED! The Powerbomb neckbreaker by McNally! Cover, 1-2-3! And Lance McNally will go the Vengeful Encounters to fight Tragedy!

Ford:You know he did this so he could keep the title match a one on one encounter!

Baines!:We are pressed for time! For Keegan and Ford, good night everybody!

(The camera fades out with McNally holding the belt high in the air)
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