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February 25, 2001
Live from the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio


(The red fireworks start blasting away as 'Hot to Death' by Everlast rattles the packed crowd's eardrums. The Hell and High Water logo is displayed on the IMLTron as the fans 'raise the roof'. The cameras pan said crowd, with everybody going nuts. As usual, there are the signs, the notables including 'I want to go Through Hell & High Water!', 'Crisp is scared of Kent', and 'El Bastardo Loco is your daddy!'. We go down to the IML announcers table, where Big Scott Weber (BSW) and Johnny Shallow (Shallow) are sitting, ready to go.)

BSW: HELLO EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO IML HELL AND HIGH WATER! The IML is putting on a great show for everybody tonight, including the superb main event! 10 men battle for a World Title shot in the 'Through Hell and High Water' match!

Shallow: That's true, and something else that's true is that we waste no time! It is time for the opening match. I guarantee this will be a match to remember with four upcoming wrestlers battling it out for honour, pride and dignity!

(As Terry Sawyer's music hits over the PA system Sawyer comes out pushing a laundry bin full of weapons. He wheels it down to the ring and places everything including the laundry basket in the ring. He walks over to the announce table and grabs a mic. He slides in the ring and absorbs the energy from the fans chanting his name. He waits a moment then begins to speak.)

Sawyer: Okay. It is time! DJ Hart, GroundZero and Joseph Knight. You guys have been running your mouth long enough so Knight you get your ass out her first because I wanna do what I promised so many of these people here - I'm going to go one step closer to becoming the champion! I have 6 trash cans here. 3 steel chairs. a Kendo stick. Another trash can with sticks in it! A red hot branding iron is in this bag here. I got tacks. I got a shovel. Hell, even a broken television. So now! now! Now! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!!!!!

(Joseph Knight's music hits the PA system. Knight steps out from behind the curtain with a trash can and weapons in it. Sawyer puts his hands in his pants to try and get something out. Knight runs down to the ring and slides in, he swings at Sawyer but Sawyer gets his hands out of his pockets and ducks it, Joseph Knight turns around and Sawyer staples him in the corner of the eye. Knight goes down in pain and Terry Sawyer sits on the top turnbuckle and waits for the other participants to come out.)

Shallow: This is gonna be great considering what just happened! It looks as if this match is now HARDCORE!

(DJ Hart's music hits the over the PA system and he walks out very slowly. He is holding a chair in one hand and he is dragging a table in the other. He gets down to ringside and lets go of the table, he stands on the second step and Sawyer grabs the chair off him. DJ Hart slides the table into the ring. Sawyer leaps off the turnbuckle as DJ Hart gets up and cracks the chair over his head.)

Shallow: Can you say contusion?

BSW: Contusion...

Shallow: Dammit! Don't make me punch you!

BSW: Yes sir, I'm sorry sir!

(GroundZero comes out and as his music starts up he slides into the ring and attacks Hart. Sawyer turns around and clotheslines them both but and then finally Knight re-enters the ring with a trash can. He hops in the ring and nails Sawyer with it. DJ Hart then turns and dropkicks the chair in Joseph Knight's face. Knight doesn't go down right away then GroundZero picks up Sawyer's chair and smashes it over Sawyer's head then he falls. Hart picks up the chain and wraps it around his fist then turns around fast to punch whoever is there and knocks down GroundZero. Knight gets to his feet finally and rolled out of the ring. He goes over grabs a lava lamp off BSW's part of the table.)

BSW: NO! My momma gave me that!

(Joseph Knight rolls back in the ring and waits for Sawyer to turn around then smashes the thick glass lamp over his head. Terry Sawyer falls down and begins to bleed! GroundZero grabs the paddle from the ground and cracks it in half over DJ Hart's head then chokes him with the remaining halve. Knight picks up the tennis racket and and breaks the tight wire over GroundZero's head. Knight picks him up and then Brainbuster DDT's him onto a trash can. Sawyer begins to move again and he gets to his feet and grabs the beer bottles with his hands. He stands up wobbling then walks up behind Knight and smashes them over his head. He picks him up and places him between his legs, He piledrivers Knight then picks him up again then gives him a power bomb into the turnbuckle and his back cracks over it. )

Shallow: This is Hell and High Water!!!!!

BSW: I'm scared!

Shallow: GET OFF OF ME!

(Terry Sawyer sets up the table that DJ Hart brought to the ring and picks up Joseph Knight. He grabs him from behind and lifts him up backwards on the turnbuckle so he is set up for a super backdrop. Sawyer stands on the top turnbuckle then looks back to make sure he is set up right then he grabs Knight from behind around the waist and throws him back with a releasing German suplex off the top. Joseph Knight comes crashing down through the table!!!)

Shallow: That could break his neck and his spine!

BSW: Wait, Look at this now!

(GroundZero is now behind Sawyer and he jumps up and turns around and gives Sawyer a DDT off the top down outside the ring and he plants him face first into a chair! GroundZero slides into the ring quickly and grabs a 2x4. He walks over to DJ Hart and breaks it over his back!)

Shallow: Hell already and we just started practically!!

(GroundZero grabs Sawyer's picture from the ground and is about to use it when Terry Sawyer slides in the ring out of desperation to get the picture. He trips GroundZero and he falls on top of Sawyer. Sawyer gets to his knees then mounts GroundZero and starts to punch him. He punches him about 20 times until GroundZero starts to bleed then he picks up the picture. He stalks Zero until he gets up. GroundZero wobbles to his feet then Terry Sawyer turns around and smashes the picture over Joseph Knight's head. The picture comes out of the frame as the glass shatters over Knight's head. The camera zooms in on it and it is a picture of the Spice Girls. Sawyer raises his arms in the air then clothes lines GroundZero. Sawyer goes into a trash can and pulls out another picture. He walks over to the camera man and holds up the picture and it is of the Samurai pizza cats!!!. He turns round and smashes it over GroundZero's head.)

Shallow: I love those little guys!!!

BSW: I like the Spice Girls too!

Shallow: I mean the Samurai Pizza cats! They rule!

(Terry Sawyer yells out 'it's time' then grabs Knight, he sets him between his legs then piledrives him. He picks him up again and gives him a powerbomb. Knight is folded up like an accordion. Sawyer picks him up and pulls Knight's arm around Knight's neck then puts the other hand between Knight's legs like a pump handle then pulls forward and piledrives Joseph Knight. Terry Sawyer goes for a cover 1..Knight sits up. DJ Hart grabs Knight by the hair and Knight and Hart lift up Joseph Knight then they whip him in the ropes and GroundZero lifts him up. Hart and Knight double Super Kick him while in the air and GroundZero, Joseph Knight and DJ Hart celebrate for the move. Knight turns round and clotheslines both DJ Hart and GroundZero.)

Shallow: Quit the beating Sawyer is taking!

(Sawyer slides outside the ring then the camera focuses in on the ring. GroundZero grabs Knight and shortarm clotheslines him down. DJ Hart grabs a trash can and smashes GroundZero in the face with it. GroundZero gets to his feet and grabs the TV Sawyer brought out. He picks it up and lifts it high above his head then as Hart gets up he smashes the TV down on his head and the screen shatters and Hart's face is now buried in the TV.)

Shallow: MY GOD!!

BSW: Just a second........Okay.....OH MY GOD!!! There you go *Burp*

Shallow: You been drinking?

BSW: No!.....Well.....ten beers but that's it!

Shallow: Haha!

(Sawyer tosses in two ladders. Sawyer crawls half way in the ring and pushes them in more then tosses in two more. He gets in the ring but is quickly knocked out again as GroundZero flies at him and they both fall outside. Knight is still not moving and DJ Hart is propped up in the corner of the bottom turnbuckle with a load of blood running down his face. He is sort of smiling then it is clear that his tongue is logged between his teeth. Another tooth is dug into his lip but it is detached from his gums. He gets to his face and spits blood and 3 teeth out. He grabs a ladder from when Sawyer threw them in and sets three of them up then GroundZero slides in but gets nailed with the forth ladder in the face sending him to the ground. Hart moves the three ladders and lines them up and places the last 18 foot ladder across all the three ladders!)

Shallow: I smell Hell!

BSW: I smell goat!

Shallow: Probably just you!

(Sawyer whips GroundZero into the steel steps and GroundZero tells Sawyer to hand him the steps. Sawyer does so then after he throws in both parts GroundZero tells him to do something but he doesn't hear it. DJ Hart has already rolled out of the ring and he walks over to the announce table and grabs a mic.)

Hart: Sawyer, *huffing and puffing* He said...... GET THE TABLES!!!!!!!!!!

(Sawyer smiles then looks under the ring and he hands GroundZero a table as they have time seeing that Joseph Knight is out. Sawyer slides in another table. DJ Hart puts one end of the table on one part of the steps then the other end on the other part then he places the other table on top of it. Then DJ Hart and GroundZero move the structure over in symmetry to the ladder structure. GroundZero goes to the top and faces the crowd and raises his hands. GroundZero looks back down the 3 foot drop before the tables. DJ Hart grabs Knight and pushes him up the ladder GroundZero puts Knight between his legs then lifts him up and powerbombs him off the ladders through the tables!!!! DJ Hart jumps down off the ladders and goes to hit a diving hurricanranna onto GroundZero but GroundZero blocks it and quickly powerbombs him.)

Shallow: This is amazing!!!!!

BSW: Man DJ Hart just got smacked in the 'No Daddy don't touch me there kinda way'.

Shallow: or something.....

(Sawyer is dragging GroundZero up the stage. he knees him in the gut then drags him over to the wooden part of the stage. He puts him between his legs then lifts him. GroundZero punches Sawyer down and the two lie there lifelessly. GroundZero manages to get up. He picks up Terry Sawyer and places his head between his legs then lifts him up and powerbombs him down and Sawyer goes through the stage!!)

Shallow: These guys are tearing up the place!

(DJ Hart holds his back as he gets up in obvious pain. Knight is still ontop of the ladder structure but is on his knees. Knight ascends the turnbuckle and leaps in the air and Hart looks up and gets clotheslined and he flips back, the structure falling on top of Hart. Knight lands on his feet but goes down when he lands. He gets up and grabs a kendo stick then waits as DJ Hart turns around and cracks him with it. Hart stubmles back and bounces off the ropes and get nailed again. He does it again and get samcked in the head again. He doesn't go down and get nailed again and it echos really loudly through out the arena. DJ Hart stays up and the stick is starting to split. Hart falls to his knees then Knight nails him again and the other half of the kendo stick goes flying into the fans and DJ Hart falls down as blood pours out like a fountain from his forehead.)

Shallow: This is brutal!!!

(GroundZero comes staggering back down to the ring as Terry Sawyer is out cold. Officials come out with a stretcher as Sawyer looks seriously hurt. They put him on it and wheel him out. GroundZero pulls out an ironing board from under the ring with cookie sheets on it. He tosses them in the ring then crawls in a bit and grabs the leg of one of the ladders. he sets up the ladder up against the apron he jams the ironing board in the rungs and make sure it is in there tight enough. He climbs the ladder and stands on the top. He flies off with a spinning wheel kick onto DJ Hart as he gets up. GroundZero gets up and grabs a bloody DJ Hart and throws him over the top rope. He is quick to follow. He places DJ Hart's limp bloody body on the ironing board and then ascends the turnbuckle. If he jumps down onto DJ Hart and makes impact it could kill him. Terry Sawyer comes out lying on the stretcher rolling down the aisle he gets to Hart and pushes him out of the way just as GroundZero jumps. Zero's ass hits the ironing board and it cracks and he falls down. Sawyer helps up DJ Hart and kicks him in the face. Then he rolls in the ring and grabs a chair. He nails GroundZero with it then he drops it and picks up Knight and tosses him out of the ring. Sawyer goes outside to and grabs Knight and GroundZero and grabs a bag from the ground and opens it, spilling thumb tacks all over a wooden table. Sawyer reaches under the ring and brings out a two by four wrapped in barbed wire. He puts it on the table too.)

BSW: This is gonna spell P-A-I-N-!

(Sawyer opens another bag and it is a....BLOW TORCH!! He pours liquid from the bag onto the table then lights the blow torch up and sets the tacked, barbed wire table on FIRE!!! GroundZero rolls in the ring with the paint can of Sawyer's and knocks him out of the ring with it. DJ Hart rolls into the ring. GroundZero kicks him in the ribs. GroundZero puts his head between DJ Hart's legs from behind ad lifts him up. Sawyer quickly climbs the turnbuckle and spears Hart off of GroundZero's shoulders. Hart looks broken in half so Sawyer has his back turned to GroundZero while checking if Hart is breathing. Sawyer stands up and gets kicked in the gut when he turns around. GroundZero lifts him up then powerbombs him through the flaming barbed wire tacked table!!!!!)

Shallow: As god is my witness SAWYER IS DEAD!!!!

BSW: He has gotta be broken in half....Literally!

(Sawyer rolls around in pain. GroundZero laughs but then is knocked down by Knight. Knight leans down to check on Sawyer, Sawyer says he is okay then Knight says 'Your a sick fuck you know that' Sawyer closes his eyes to rest up. Knight is the only man standing now. Joseph Knight picks up a key board from the ground when Sawyer brought it out. He waits for Hart to get in the ring then nails him with it. GroundZero slides into the ring from behind Knight and nails him with a guitar. Knight is out cold. Zero falls down and now all the men are lying out cold in the ring.)

Shallow: Back to square one!

(The ref looks on in amazement. Surprisingly Sawyer is the first men to get to his feet. He picks up a shovel and waits. GroundZero gets to his knees and Sawyer damn near takes his head off with the shovel as it cracks in half! Sawyer grabs GroundZero and ddts him. He then picks up Knight and ddts him too. Then last by not least he grabs DJ Hart and ddts him all three men lie lifeless as Sawyer is the only man standing in the ring. He looks down at the carnage. He picks up a chair and waits for Knight to get up then nails Knight in the back of the head with it. Hart gets up and grabs Knight. Sawyer falls over DJ Hart. The ref takes it as a count and counts!)

(1...)

(2...)

(3!!!)

BSW: Sawyer wins!

(Hart drops Knight and looks pissed. Hart grabs Sawyer and nails him with the chair. Then Hart nails GroundZero with the chair then Knight. Shallow: Well, Sawyer got the pin. Every man in the ring is soaked in the blood of four men.)

BSW: Can you say 'AIDS'?

Shallow: Hey, aren't we supposed to be going nuts?

BSW: Oh yeah.

Shallow: TERRY SAWYER WINS IT! DJ HART IS GOING PSYCHOTIC!

BSW: Give this man an academy award!

Shallow: Wait...what the...

BSW: It's Xperiment! He's out here a bit early, isn't he? I mean, the Watcher won't be coming down here for a good five minutes.

Shallow: I would say so. He's getting into the ring now...

BSW: WHAT?! HE'S ATTACKING THE FOUR MEN AS THEY TRY TO GET OUT OF THE RING! SAWYER IS UP AND GETS BLASTED IN THE FACE WITH THE TV TITLE!

Shallow: Hart as well! Knight and GroundZero escape and limp up the ramp to get away as Sawyer and Hart try to do the same! Xperiment showing the new guys who's boss around here!

BSW: President Gunnar had mentioned that the winner of this match might get a TV Title shot...right about now that's looking all the more likely.

Winner: Terry Sawyer

Shallow: Back in the parking garage, and we're still waiting for a few of the superstars set to appear tonight...wait a second! There's a green jeep! Who could that be?

BSW: The doors are opening...look at that! Our World Tag Team Champions, The Deadly Sins, are here! It looks like they're headed this way!

Shallow: Well, obviously. Where the hell do you expect them to go?

BSW: Never mind that, time for the next match. Xperiment, who just cleared the ring, defends the belt against The Watcher!

Shallow: Yep.

BSW: And now, Xperiment's still in the ring after beating those guys...

('Some Bad Music' by A Bad Band plays as the Watcher comes out to a bit of a reaction.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent... from some place... weight some pounds... HE IS THE WATCHER!

(The Watcher slides into the ring and tries to ambush Xperiment, but Xperiment dodges.)

(Ding, Ding, Ding)

BSW: And we're on the way!

Shallow: Xperiment with a kick in the gut... wait! He turns around and hooks the arms! HE HAS HIM UP! TERMINATION (Spinning Kudoh Driver)!

BSW: What the HELL!?

Shallow: Xperiment with the cover!

(1...)

(2...)

BSW: Well... um... that was... really quick... yeah...

Chris Astro: The winner of this match... and still IML Television Champion... XPERIMENT!

Shallow: That's the win. Next match.

BSW: Meanwhile, backstage - it's the Deadly Sins! It looks like they're planning something!

Shallow: They have sledgehammers! This can't be good for the Southside Playaz!

BSW: They're heading out to the garage...let's get a camera out there to watch this!

Shallow: While they do that, it's time for our Extreme Title match! El Bastardo Loco defends against former IML World Champion Harold Hash!

('The Chanting of the Porn Creed' booms over the PA and Hash comes out smugly. He gets into the ring, only to have Loco come out of nowhere and they have a staredown.)

BSW: Loco and Hash lock up. Hash throws Loco down to the mat. Loco gets back up and shoves Hash. They lock up again and Hash pushes Loco all the way into the corner.

Shallow: Hash just overpowering Loco there.

BSW: Hash takes Loco by the wrist and goes to whip him into the other corner. He follows through by running in that direction and connects with a clothesline to Loco's chest. This sends Loco staggers foward a few steps, slightly winded and stunned. Hash grabs Loco from behind and attempts a German suplex, but Loco breaks his lock and spins around behind Hash. Loco tries to pick him up, but Hash delivers some elbows to Loco's head and runs off into the ropes. He comes charging back, but the Extreme Champion quickly back body drops Hash over the top rope and onto the apron. Hash lands gracefully on his feet and-

Shallow: Hash? Graceful?

BSW: -and tries to deliver a series of punches to Loco's head. Loco blocks and gives some shots to Hash. As Hash is dazed and almost falling from the apron, holding on by one hand to the top rope, Loco jumps up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a plancha. They both end up on the concrete floor, with Loco on top of Hash. Loco gets back up and picks Hash up. He irish whips Hash into the crowd barrier at one corner of the ringside area. Loco then proceeds to jumps onto the barrier and start running in Hash's direction. He tries to go for another plancha, but Hash catches him mid air and BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES HIM INTO THE CROWD!!

Shallow: I had no idea that Hash had that in him!!

(The audience stands back as they watch Loco come flying at them. Hash climbs over the barrier.)

BSW: Hash shoves a fan off of their chair and folds it up. He holds it over his head and smashes it on Loco's back. Loco is sent down to all fours. Hash begins delivering more and more chair shots to the champ.

Shallow: He might not be the champ for much longer if Hash can keep up this offensive onslaught.

BSW: Hash grabs Loco by his hair and leads him over to the rail. He throws him over and follows back to the ringside area.

Shallow: Hey! Get outta here!

BSW: No! He smashes Loco's face into the anouncing table a few times, and thankfully rolls him up onto the ring apron and then back into the ring. Hash slides back in. He picks Loco up and delivers some knees to his gut.

Shallow: Kevin Nash eat your heart out!

BSW: Hash slams him back down onto the mat and starts climbing the turnbuckle. Loco immediatley stands back up and begins trading blows with Hash! Loco climbs up to the second turnbuckle, but Hash gains control and sets Loco up for a top rope piledriver!

Shallow: This could break El Bastardo Loco's neck! Oh the humanity!

BSW: NO! The Insane Luchador throws his body up and performs a top rope Hurricanrana!!! Hash lands on the mat with a massive thud! Loco walks over to Hash and performs a front flip senton right onto his midsection!

Shallow: This just keeps getting better!

BSW: He picks Hash up and throws him into the corner. He delivers some knife edge chops to his chest...

*CHOP*

Crowd: WHOO!

*CHOP*

Crowd: WHOO!

*CHOP*

Crowd: WHOO!

Shallow: Hash's chest has red marks all over it!

BSW: He whips Hash into the other corner, but Hash reverses halfway. Loco, in all his lucha libre glory, doesn't waste a second in jumping to the top turnbuckle without using his hands. He backflips over Hash and lands on his feet. Hash turns around and charges at Loco. Loco takes Hash down several times with an armdrag.

Shallow: Impressive!!

BSW: Loco picks Hash back up by his wrists, but Hash quickly grabs onto Loco's hands and gets into a sort of test of strength. Hash gets some knee shots in to Loco, but Loco tucks his head under Hash's arm and performs a Northern Light Suplex while maintaining the clutch. He backflips over Hash, who has his knees up allowing them both to stand back up. Loco pushes his feet into Hash and monkey flips him. He lets go, but jumps right back up.

Shallow: YES!! HERE IT COMES SCOTT!

BSW: The Extreme Champion pulls off the Jalapeno Popper!!

(The crowd pops like crazy as El Bastardo Loco goes for a pin.)

(1...)

(2...)

BSW: No! Hash gets his shoulder up! Loco pounds the mat and gets off of Hash. Hash stands up slowly, and Loco greets him with punches. With Hash wobbly, Loco quickly snapsmares him and performs a front flip neck snare. He slides foward between Hash's legs and goes for a pin!

(1...)

(2...)

Shallow: Nope!

BSW: Hash pokes Loco's eyes and Loco breaks the pin. Hash stands up and body slams Loco onto the mat. He delivers some kicks followed by an elbow drop. He picks Loco up and whips him into the ropes...Loco ducks under a clothesline attempt and quickly hooks himself around Hash into a crucifix!

(1...)

(2...)

Shallow: Hash won't stay down!

BSW: Loco clotheslines Hash as he stands up. Hash gets back up, but is met by another series of armdrags. Loco dropkicks Hash out of the ring. Loco runs over to the turnbuckle and gets ready to leap off like before, but Hash jumps to the apron and punches him in the gut a few times. Hash climbs up to the turnbuckle and hooks his arm around his head. Hash goes for a side Russian leg sweep to the outside, but Loco stops it by elbowing Hash in the face!

Shallow: Smart move by the champ, that move could have taken him out for good!

BSW: Loco jumps off into the ring and takes some steps back. He charges towards the corner and jumps up, trying to perform a top rope arm drag. Instead, Hash grabs Loco and in one fluid motion, RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!

Joey Styles: OH MY GAWD~!

BSW: Both men are down, almost knocked out by that move. After a few moments they both get up, stumbling as they walk. They begin to fight, their brawl flowing over into the crowd. The security keeps the fans at bay, but the fight goes over to the eagle's nest..

Shallow: An eagle's nest is an area for camera placement, for you uninformed.

BSW: They climb up to it, about 10 feet above the ground. Loco begins punching Hash until he's almost falling off of the side.

Shallow: I just don't have a good feeling about this...

BSW: Loco runs over to the other side and gets a running start in the direction of Hash. Hash ducks and catches Loco in a back body drop, but holding onto him. It looks as if Hash is going for a Backdrop Driver..

Shallow: Backdrop Driver? That's the Kryptonite Krunch, man! Also known as the Vinny Massaro Bitch Slap!

BSW: Exact same thing, Shallow. If Hash can hit this, it's definately over! Hash has a sadistic smile on his face...WAIT A MINUTE! HIS SMILE QUICKLY TURNS TO A LOOK OF 'OH SHIT!' AS LOCO WIGGLES FREE AND PERFORMS A SUNSET FLIP/AWESOME BOMB-TYPE MANEUVER TO THE GROUND, GOING THROUGH A STACK OF TABLES IN THE PROCESS!!!!!

Jim Ross: JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY! HAROLD HASH IS BROKEN IN HALF!! GOD BLESS HIS SOUL!!

(The crowd is on their feet, cheering like mad.)

BSW: Loco pins Hash in the middle of the table wreckage!

(1...)

(2...)

(3!!!)

Winner and still Extreme Champion: El Bastardo Loco

(Loco celebrates as the referee hands him the Extreme Title.)

BSW: Loco with another successful defense!

Shallow: Backstage again....is that the Southside Playaz' limo?

BSW: I think it is...wait, what is this?

(Jack Breaker and Jake Walker run out with sledgehammers and proceed to put a beating on the Playaz' limo. Then Jack reaches into the trunk of his jeep and pulls out several paint cans. He and Jake then take it upon themselves to repaint the glossy black limo with splashes of red and yellow.)

(Jack grabs a microphone from somwhere offscreen and, slightly out-of-breath, begins to speak.)

Jack: You see, Race? Brandon? You can't beat us, you can't out-think us, you guys are just rungs on our ladder to the top of the IML!

(Jake, who had snuck back into Jack's jeep trunk, emerges with a ladder draped over his shoulder, and uses it as a battering ram against the limo. Jack picks up his sledgehammer and continues smashing in windows.)

Shallow: Oh my God! Look at that damage! This is...

BSW: Great?

Shallow: I was gonna say madness, but great's a good a word as any.

BSW: Well, it's time for the US Title Match.

Shallow: Yay.

BSW: No kidding...I'll go grab us some soda or somethin'.

(BSW leaves quickly, and is replaced by Kyle Morris, backstage reporter.)

Astro : Ladies and gentlemen the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the IML United States HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Introducing first, making his way to the ring at this time, he is the IML U.S. Champion Scott Styles.

('Hell's Bells' by AC DC plays and Scott Styles comes out to plenty of boos.He struts his stuff down to the ring and stands up on the apron looking out to the crowd and fireworks shoot off.)

Astro: And his opponent...he comes down the aisle tonight he is....... Bryan Fury!!!!

('Rollin' by Limp Bizkit begins to play as Bryan Fury makes his way towards the ring.) Astro: The third contender in this match is a former IML Television Champion, Dante Jackson!!

('X' by Xzibit begins to play but at the entracne Dante isnt seen. Dante's music is played continuously but Dante doesnt show up.)

Johnny Shallow: What the hell where's Dante?

'Nitro Beaver' Kyle Morris: Good Question man. Where is this guy.

Johnny Shallow: Wait man someones telling me Dante's backstage laid out. Let's go to the scene.

(The camera fades as we see Dante Jackson laid out on a broken table and a baseball bat next to him.)

'Nitro Beaver' Kyle Morris : Wowe Dante looks pretty f--- up'd.

Johnny Shallow: You said it man. Now how will Dante be able to compete now. Who attacked him is the real question?

'Nitro Beaver' Kyle Morris: Oh well let's get to the match. Bryan Fury now in the ring and the bell sounds. This United States title match is underway. Bryan Fury comes into the middle of the ring and he wants to grapple but Scott Stylest runs at him and dropkicks him in the knee. Bryan Fury drops to his knees and now Scott Styles kicks him in the head. Bryan Fury goes down, face in the mat and Heart starts to rub his face into the mat. Scott Styles runs off the ropes, rebound, somersault and a leg drop onto the back of Bryan Fury's head. Scott Styles quickly rolls him over, hooks his leg, there's

(1...)

(2...)

Johnny Shallow: No, Fury Kicks out. A near two count here in the early goings of this matchup. Scott Styles certainly appears quicker and agile than Bryan Fury so far, and that could be the deciding factor here. Scott Styles pulls up Bryan Fury, gives him a few shots to the body and throws him into the ropes. Bryan Fury rebounds, Scott Styles leapfrogs him, Bryan Fury rebounds again, Scott Styles drops to the mat and Bryan Fury hops over, rebounds again and this time Scott Styles is right there to nail him in the kisser with a spinning heel kick! Bryan Fury goes down and Scott Styles jumps on top of him and whails away with punches into the face until the official breaks it up. Bryan Fury gets up in a short amount of time and now he's telling Scott Styles to bring it on. Heart calls for the grapple this time but Bryan Fury will have none of it.

'Nitro Beaver' Kyle Morris: Apparently Bryan Fury will not fall prey to the same tricks twice. Scott Styles still asking for the grapple though and Bryan Fury walks up to him now. Bryan Fury slowly raises his hand up and Scott Styles goes for a kick but Bryan Fury catches his leg! Bryan Fury has Scott Styles hopping on one leg and he spins Scott Stylest all the way around, goes for a clothesline but it's ducked, both men turn and Bryan Fury gets Scott Styles with a hard, hard clothesline into the head. Bryan Fury bypasses a cover and pulls Scott Styles right up. He irish whips him into the corner. Scott Styles flips up onto the top rope and now back down to the mat. Bryan Fury lets Heart come back out to the middle and he nails Scott Styles with a bulldog. Bryan Fury goes for the cover this time.

(1...)

(2...)

Johnny Shallow: NO!! Scott Styles out and Bryan Fury pulls him up. Bryan Fury rolls to the outside and he grabs a chair. He folds it up and he throws it into the ring. Now he goes to the timekeeper table and he is stealing the ring bell! Bryan Fury is about to make things a lot more violent if the referee doesn't stop this. Bryan Fury slides into the ring with the bell and he is waiting for Heart to get back up. Scott Styles is quite dazed but on his feet now and Bryan Fury comes at him with the bell but Scott Stylest dodges and Bryan Fury hits the referee with the ring bell. Scott Stylest grabs the chair and he hops to the top rope. Bryan Fury turns, Scott Styles throws the chair down at Bryan Fury, Bryan Fury catches and Scott Styles comes off the top with a missile dropkick into the chair, taking out Bryan Fury!

'Nitro Beaver' Kyle Morris:Bryan Fury could be finished if Scott Styles covers, and he does! Scott Styles has Bryan Fury down for the count but the referee is out! Scott Styles pounding on the mat but no response!

('X' by Xzibit begins to play as we see Dante Jackson coming out with his ribs and hands all bandaged up to the ring.)

Johnny Shallow: The man is a competitor, and right now he's running on 100% adrenaline trying to make it to the ring. Dante Jackson makes it to the ring to find Scott Styles is waiting for him. Once Dante enters through the ropes Scott is kicking him relentlessly sending Dante back out onto the floor. Scott goes out onto the floor. His body has got to be drained because of the beating that he already took backstage, but the energy here keeps him going. Scott Styles pulls up Dante Jackson and rolls him into the ring. Scott Styles grabs the steel chair that still remains in the ring and he goes to the top rope once more. He waits for Fury to come to again. Dante stands up eventually and turns around. Scott throws the chair down at him and Dante catches it on instinct. Scott comes off but Dante moves and Scott misses the kick. Dante swings the chair but Scott ducks it, turns and nails Dante with a superkick and the chair goes flying!!! Scott heads outside of the ring and grabs the chair. Brings it in. Fury begins to get up. Whack to the back up the head a few times then goes over to Dante and whacks him a few times with the chair. Scott takes Dante puts him on his side, then he takes Fury and puts him right ontop of Dante. Scott goes over the the refferee and wakes him up. Scott then goes over to Fury and Dante. Scott picks up Dante drags him in the corner. Is this is it is Scotts finisher. Scott picks up Dante in a powerbomb position. Sets him up TRIP TO HELL, TRIP TO HELL on Dante who lands on Fury. Scott goes for the cover.

Ref Counts: (1...)

(2...)

(3!!!)

('Hells Bells by AC DC begins to play as Scott Styles is handed the IML U.S. belt and celebrates in the ring.)

Astro: Winner via pinfall & still IML United States Champion, Scott Styles!!

(BSW comes back with a Mountain Dew for Shallow, a Dr. Pepper for himself, and a thing of nachos.)

BSW: Did I miss much?

Shallow: Not really.

BSW: What's now?

Shallow: Here's the IML World Tag Team match. The Deadly Sins and The Southside Playaz are both in it. This is has been a big three way battle since MegaJOB lost the titles to the Sins.

BSW: Yes, and the Southside Playaz, led by Dante Jackson, thought they'd capatilize on the arrangements so far. Let's see how this rivalry ends up at our Pay-per-view.

(Astro get's into the ring, and grabs a microphone.)

Astro: First to the ring... They are the number one contenders for the IML Tag Titles! Led by Dante Jackson, they are... THE SOUTHSIDE PLAYAZ!

(The Playaz, and Jackson make thier way down to the ring. As they get many a boo from the crowd.)

Astro: Next to the ring, they are your IML WORLD TAG CHAMPIONS... THEY ARE THE DEADLY SINS!!!

(The Sins fly down the ramp, and make it into the ring. And instantly attack the Playaz.)

*Ding Ding Ding*

BSW: Instantly, Race and Brandon Smith attack the champions Jake Walker, and Jack Breaker.

(Brandon Smith grabs Jake Walker and gives him a mean knee to the gut. Jack Breaker and Race Smith go to their places.)

Shallow: Alright, all the guys are in thier places. Brandon and Jake are in the ring, now.

(Brandon gives Jake a right, and then a left. Brandon swings again, but Jake grabs his arm, and gives him an arm-bar take down.)

BSW: Arm-bar takedown, by Jake Walker.

(Jake Walker slings Brandon Smith into the ropes, and leans down for a back body drop. No avail. Brandon Smith with an inverted DDT. Brandon Smith drives his knee into the ribs of Jake Walker. Brandon tags to Race. Race and Brandon sling Jake Walker into the ropes. They go for a double- clothesline. Jake Walker ducks, and turns Brandon Smith around. Powerslam to Brandon Smith by Jake Walker. Jake Walker reaches out for Race Smith. But Race gets him in a standing full-nelson.)

Shallow: Looks like they're going to double team.

BSW: They've been doing that for a while, Shallow.

(Brandon Smith gives chops to the chest, lefts, rights everywhere to the body of Jake Walker. Race lets go, and Jake falls to the mat. The Ref makes Brandon Smith go to the outside.)

Shallow: Looking bad for Jake Walker.

(Race slings Jake Walker into the ropes. Race Smith gives Jake Walker an elbow to the face. Race brings Jake Walker to his feet. He slings Jake Walker toward the ropes. Irish Whip. And Race Smith goes to the turnbuckle.)

BSW: That's the side of Brandon Smith! Jake better take care.

(Jake to the middle turnbuckle, he starts to pound away at the face of Race Smith. Race makes a tag while Jake isn't looking. Brandon goes to the top, and jumps over Jake Walker to deliver a top-turnbuckle neckbreaker. Race follows up with a middle turnbuckle leg splash.)

Shallow: Wow, what a move. They seem to be focusing on Jake Walker. You know. Like every other tag match in the history of Wrestling.

(Race and Brandon take Jake to the ropes. Jake hits the ropes and holds on. Jake jumps on the second rope as the Playaz are running toward him. Springboard Bodypress to both parts of the Southside Playaz!)

BSW: JAKE WALKER WITH A SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT STRIKE. He's going for the tag!

(Jake Walker ducks and rolls, he gives a tag to his team-mate Jack Breaker. Jake then collapses to the outside of the ring.)

Shallow: Jack Breaker is taking it to Race Smith!

(Jack punches Race in the nose, as blood starts to pour from Race's nostrils. Race collapses to the ground! Jack then turns his attention toward Brandon Smith who is just now getting to his feet. Jack knees Brandon in the solar plexus. Brandon bends over and grabs his stomach. Jack then doubles up both fists, and slams them down on Brandon's neck. Brandon falls to the mat.)

BSW: JACK HAS IT RAPPED UP. JACK HAS IT. JACK PINS! JACK PINS!

(1...)

(2...)

Shallow: NO. DANTE JACKSON hits the ref from behind. Dante gives the ref a powerbomb, and rolls to the outside.

(Jack Breaker leans over the ropes, and curses out the laughing Dante Jackson. But Race Smith rolls Jack over for a school boy pin.)

(1...)

(2...)

Shallow: Kick out, by Jack Breaker.

(Jack makes his way up, as does Race Smith. Brandon Smith is still lying un-concious on the mat, blood trickling out of his nose. Jack Breaker gives Race a kick to the mid-section, and then flips him over for a swinging-neckbreaker. Jack then goes to the top. Double Somersault Headbutt!)

BSW: Wow, what a move by Jack Breaker. Jake Walker is up on the ropes, now.

(Jack rips Race Smith to his feet, and pulls him into a half-nelson, revealing Race's whole raw side. Jake Walker with a missile drop-kick to the side of Race Smith. A loud crack is heard, and Race grabs his side.)

Shallow: It's Deadly Sins all the way now. They have this match won. Brandon is out with a hit to the nose. And Race is out with a huge dropkick. The sins are now looking at the carnage. Pin, by Jake Walker!

(1...)

(2...)

Shallow: AND THERE'S DANTE JACKSON AGAIN. Can he get anymore annoying?

(Dante rips Jake off Race and starts to assault Jake Walker.)

BSW: Why isn't the ref calling this? He's just standing there!

('Voices' by Disturbed rips out of the speakers, as Prelude to Destruction, (Danny Suran, and Jase Flarin) fly down to ringside. Both go in on different sides. The crowd cheers for the friends of Kent Anthason. Danny flings Dante to outside, and they roll out. Jase picks Dante up for a face-first powerbomb, and Danny goes to the front of Jase... SECOND HAND SECRETS (Sitting Inverted Powerbomb by Jase, while Danny tops it with an X-Factor.)

BSW: DANTE IS NOW OFFICALLY OUT OF THIS MATCH. YES. JACK BREAKER WITH THE PIN TO RACE SMITH.

(1...)

(2...)

(3!!!)

Astro: Your winner, and still IML World Tag champions: Deadly Sins!!!

BSW: With a little help destorying Dante Jackson, from the PtD, Deadly Sins pick up their win. And a rightful win at that. What a match.

Shallow: Yeah, but look at this. the Prelude is leaving, but Deadly Sins is following.

(Jack Breaker spins Danny Suran around. And shouts in his face. Danny just pushes him backward a little, and continues walking toward the exit. Jack comes back, and shoves Jase. Jase turns around and tells Jacks something. Jack turns around to see the Southside Playaz taking apart Jake Walker. Both of them are now up, and killing Walker.)

BSW: Look at this!!! LOOK AT THIS. The Playaz are back up, and are taking apart Walker while Breaker was out annoying the Prelude.

Shallow: This isn't over. The Playaz are still in this. And now we have Kent Anthason's boys, the Prelude to Destruction in on this. Even if they aren't wrestling. Heh heh.

BSW: This could intensifiy, but hey... The Sins retain their titles.

Shallow: You bet.

BSW: Finally fans...it's time for our big main event!

Shallow: Ten of the top IML wrestlers will duke it out to try and win a shot against the World Champion at the currently unnamed PPV in March. The wrestlers are all in the ring, somehow able to keep from starting this thing early.

Astro: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to our main event!

(Crowd cheers.)

Astro: For those of you who still don't know what this match is about, just look. Fire will soon raise up around this ring (but not the ringside area, so you lucky fans in the front row have nothing to worry about) and high above the ring hangs your ticket to the March PPV main event!

(Crowd cheers some more, and Astro leaves the ring. The bell sounds and the flames slowly creep up to about the same height as the middle rope.)

BSW: And here we go! The ladders are standing up towards that scaffold, but these ten guys are smart enough not to attempt to go all the way up right away.

Shallow: Are they? Or are they stupid enough to not realize that's the way to victory?

BSW: Either way, they're staying in the ring. Capital Punishment and Mad Max trade blows, Harold Hash and Kent Anthason go right for each other, El Bastardo Loco and Bryan Young battle in the corner, Psycho Jay wails on Anthony Giorgetti, and Scott Styles combats The Reaper!

Shallow: Intense action to start things off, indeed.

BSW: Styles sends Reaper flipping backwards over the top rope to the floor, and soon Capital Punishment joins him courtesy of Mad Max!

Shallow: They're both lucky they didn't catch on fire. The fire is still fairly low, however, about midway between the top and middle ropes.

BSW: Now Reaper and Punishment start brawling! They act like they're not even interested in this match anymore! They brawl outside the ring and are gradually working their way back up the ramp! They disappear backstage!

Shallow: Odd. I would think that they would want the IML World Title, but maybe I'm wrong.

BSW: Mad Max now...he sits in the corner of the ring and looks at the fire?

Mad Max: Fire pretty!

Shallow: What is he doing?! He's pulling out his IWO action figures!

BSW: OUCH! Titan with a Titan X-Press off the bottom turnbuckle onto ?┐?...and it breaks his neck again! Max rips off the Mysterious Doll's head and tosses it into the fire! He now pulls out the rest of the action figures of the wrestlers who were in IWO back when IWO was actually better than IML!

Shallow: Mad Max having his own little PPV event in the corner!

BSW: Back to the real action, now, as Psycho Jay sends Giorgetti into the ropes, and catches him coming back with a Samoan Drop! Jay drops an elbow onto his chest!

Shallow: Scott Styles now noticing he's the only person who isn't in the middle of a brawl (well...besides Max). He starts climbing up one of the ladders, and is just about to the scaffold!

BSW: Bad move, Styles! Kent Anthason decks the tired-as-hell Hash and runs over to the ladder!

Shallow: Pushing it over would send him right into the flames!

BSW: Instead, Anthason puts his back to the ladder and reaches up, and drops Styles in a Liger Bomb!! Outstanding maneuver by the man who by all means should have faced the Cult Icon tonight for the World Title.

Shallow: Agreed. Now Anthason starts to climb up the ladder!

BSW: El Bastardo Loco superkicks Bryan Young, and starts up the other ladder! HE LEAPS OFF AND TAKES ANTHASON OFF THE LADDER WITH A FLIPPING NECKBREAKER! Bryan Young runs over to attack Loco again but he's cut off with a big boot from Psycho Jay! Jay picks Young up, and puts him on the turnbuckle!

Shallow: No question what's coming next...

BSW: SUPERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE!! BRYAN YOUNG'S PRONE BODY GOES FLYING THROUGH THE MALAYSIAN ANNOUNCERS TABLE!! Giorgetti climbs up onto the turnbuckle and grabs Jay, and delivers a sick Superplex! Jay's lower body landed on part of the ladder, knocking it over! Giorgetti up now, not noticing that the ladder is laying across the top rope! Loco springboards and does a splash onto the ladder, sending the cold metal straight into 'The Extremist's face!

Shallow: Loco in a bit of a predicament now, wouldn't you say? He's trapped outside the ring.

BSW: Obviously not! Loco throws the ladder under the bottom rope, which knocks the flames down long enough for him to roll in! He rolls on the mat a little to make sure that he isn't on fire, and resumes fighting by attacking Anthason!

Shallow: El Bastardo Loco basically gives the middle finger to Hell right there.

BSW: Giorgetti staggers to his feet and is met with a clothesline from the US Champ! Scott Styles picks Giorgetti and drops him back down with a Cradle Piledriver! Psycho Jay grabs El Bastardo Loco and attempts a DDT, but Loco reverses it into a release Northern Lights Suplex! Loco goes for a Springboard Asai Moonsault, but he falls back onto his back, blowing on his feet! The edge of his boots are singed from being so close to the fire!

Shallow: Hell gets revenge on Loco.

BSW: While all this has been going on, Anthason is at the top of the ladder! Styles notices this and dropkicks the ladder over!

Shallow: Whoa! Anthason grabs the edge of the scaffold and is trying to pull himself up!

BSW: Loco and Giorgetti climb to opposite turnbuckles, almost in the fire. They both leap off to try and Spear Kent off of there, but Kent pulls his legs up and we literally have a head-on collision! Both men slump to the mat, and Anthason makes it all the way up onto the scaffold! A firehose kicks on and blasts 'the Stellar', but Anthason basically hugs the structure and stays on.

Shallow: Meanwhile, the overflow of water puts some of the fire out, and drenches Jay and Loco, bringing both back to consciousness! Styles is in the process of setting the ladder up again, and Loco puts the other one back up while Jay notices Max is still in the corner playing with his IWO action figures. Jay sighs and shakes his head, and walks back over towards the ladders.

BSW: Giorgetti starting to regain consciousness now, as Loco and Styles climb their respective ladders. Instead of pushing one or both over, though, he starts climbing up on Loco's.

Shallow: That probably isn't smart.

BSW: You're right! Loco at the top, as is Styles. Styles starts to climb up onto the scaffold, fearing the jets of water that will inevitably come, while Giorgetti climbs up to the top and starts to hit Loco! Loco ducks a punch, and gets the Extremist onto his shoulders...DEPORTATION OFF THE LADDER!! Giorgetti is out of it! Scott Styles and Kent Anthason are battling on top of the scaffold!

Shallow: Hey...I just realized something.

BSW: Yeah?

Shallow: What happens if the ladder is knocked off the scaffold?

BSW: It's bolted to the scaffold, don't worry.

Shallow: Ohhhh.

BSW: Styles slams Anthason's face against the un-moving ladder and then gives him a Diving Inverted DDT! Styles starts up the ladder, but Anthason gets to his feet and climbs up behind him. He grabs Styles by the head, hooks it, and nails an amazing Reverse Suplex! Styles is down! Anthason is down!

Shallow: Jay is about to hurt somebody!

BSW: Loco and Jay are on the top rung of each side of a ladder! Jay punches him in the stomach, and Loco doubles over! He starts humping Loco's head! Sweet Jesus! WAIT! HE HOOKS HIS HEAD BETWEEN HIS LEGS...SUPERBOMB OFF THE LADDER! LOCO GOES THROUGH THE RING! EL BASTARDO LOCO HAS TRULY BEEN THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER TONIGHT AS HE NOT ONLY ENDURES THE EXTREME TITLE MATCH BUT NOW THIS!!

Shallow: That's gonna be sore in the morning, I can tell you that much.

BSW: Psycho Jay starts back up the ladder, but suddenly 'Jamie is a Wej' by Tom Ford and High Flyer (note: Tom told me about his song, so don't blame Jay or the IML staff) blares from the speakers. Out runs IWO President Jamie Kosoy! He rushes the ring, going through the unlit part and pulls Jay off of the ladder!! Jay laughs at him, and Jamie hits him with a dreidle! Jay goes down hard!

Jamie Kosoy: NO! NO JAY IN IML!

(Security runs out and drags Jamie away yelling about how Jay will never wrestle in IML.)

Shallow: He got hit in the head with a dreidle! A CGI-powered dreidle at that!

(Jay is back up, and picks up a mic and starts yelling all sorts of Jew-bashing insults and other comments linking Jamie to Hitler but luckily the IML production crew cuts the mic before he gets too far into it.)

Shallow: Meanwhile, on the top of the scaffold, Anthason has Styles down after a vicious Backdrop Driver! Anthason climbs to the top of the ladder, and the belt is within reach! Wait a minute....THE BELT IS RAISING! ANTHASON CAN'T REACH IT!

BSW: AND A FORCEFUL BLAST FROM A FIREHOSE SENDS ANTHASON FLYING OFF THE SCAFFOLD COMPLETELY!!! HE ACCIDENTALLY PERFORMS A CROSS-BODY BLOCK ON PSYCHO JAY!! SCOTT STYLES IS CLIMBING UP THE LADDER, AND THE BELT IS RETURNED TO NORMAL! HE REACHES UP AND GRABS IT! ANTHASON IS SCREWED OVER ONCE MORE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!

Winner: Scott Styles

Shallow: Breathe.

BSW: *big deep breath* WHO DID THIS TO ANTHASON?!

(A voice booms over the PA system.)

'The Cult Icon' Jon Crisp: I'll give you three guesses.

BSW: OH MY GOD! IT WAS CRISP WHO SCREWS OVER KENT ANTHASON! THAT SHOT SHOULD BE ANTHASON'S, BUT IT INSTEAD WILL GO TO SCOTT STYLES!

Shallow: Kent Anthason rolls out of the ring and attacks Crisp! He's furious! He slices Crisp's lip open and security pull them apart! The two men are staring holes through each other, while Styles is receiving his US Title in the ring! We're out of time, see you next Friday on Chaos & Carnage where we might just find out why Crisp did it!!! Good night!!!