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February 2, 2001
Live from the Cow Palace in San Francisco, California

(The opening montage from last night is shown. Hash with the Testicle Crush to Mikey Riggs is seen in slow motion, followed up by the Final Cut through four tables by Kent Anthason. We see Dante Jackson holding up the TV title in victory, then cut to the Pillsbury Doughboy hitting the Chocolate Chocolate Cookie Dance on one of the Southside Playaz... then 'Hush' by Deep Purple plays as 'Chaos' is shown in dark red letters. Pictures of Donnie Daze, Tom Taylor, Ash Robinson, the Winds of Change, the Suicide Kings and Simon Seaman are shown doing various actions, then we see '&' in a dark red and black color, as we now see Kent Anthason with Final Cut, Beef the Slightly Annoyed with the Beef Grinder, Dante Jackson with Amnesia, and Harold Hash with the Burnout. 'Carnage' is shown, which then explodes in a blast of fireworks as the montage ends with the scene opening up in a sold-out Cow Palace in San Francisco, California. Fireworks blast everywhere as the crowd pops big. Signs go up in a frenzy to get them shown. Stuff like 'PSYCHO JAY IS GOD', 'MEGA JOB ARE JOBBERS', 'DANTE JACKSON = NEW TV CHAMPION, MUCH TO OUR APATHY', and 'BRIAN FURY'S WIFE IS A WHORE'. We then cut to the ringside announcers, 'Big' Scott Weber and Johnny Shallow.)

BSW(Big Scott Weber): Welcome IML fans! Welcome to Chaos and Carnage!

(Johnny) Shallow: Woo.

BSW: Well, we don't exactly have anyone of authority running around right now, so let's go to our first match!

Shallow: Hooray for the opening match.

BSW: Err, be right back.

(Astro replaces BSW at the table.)

[The Match zooms in as the #1 contender four corners match is about to begin. All the wrestlers in the match are in the ring.]

[Ding, Ding, Ding]

Astro:This four corners match has begun.

Shallow:Thats right. Well the two wrestlers that will be starting it off are...Reaper and Mike Wallace!

Astro:Reaper goes right after Wallace....I have a feeling this will be a great match. Reaper is now just pummeling Wallace untill he is out cold...

Shallow:Yup, Wallace has no chance in this one as it looks right now. Wallace trying to make a comeback, but Reaper threw Wallace into the corner and the referee is there too and the ref is out now...

Astro:When something like that happens you know the it will be what the name of this event is CHAOS & CARNAGE! Styles & Smith are bringing in the chairs, but Reaper has a chair and knocks out every competitor in this match!

Shallow:The Referee is getting up slowly.... Reaper covers Wallace....the ref counts slowly 1.....2.... Kick out he can't beilive it...Reaper picks him up....CHOKESLAM!!! He covers 1...2... Styles breaks up the pin....

Astro:Reaper is clearing house. Chokeslams froms everywhere....Now Wallace is grabbed by the neck and here it comes...CHOKESLAM....He covers 1...2...3....

Shallow:We have a number one contender for the Television Title.....

BSW: We'll be right back!

* COMMERCIAL BREAK *

BSW: Welcome back!

(During the break Weber replaced Astro.)

Shallow: And here we are, a Fatal Fourway for the TV Title! I haven't been this excited since...

BSW: The last match?

Shallow: Quiet, you. Anyway, Erik Blake and The Watcher are already in the ring, and now here comes Dante Jackson!

['X' by Xzibit hits and Dante appears on the stage. He starts down the ramp, when...]

Shallow: TQ Smooth from runs out from backstage! There's a dropkick to Dante Jackson, and he goes down on that steel ramp!

BSW: Now The Watcher and Erik Blake are staring each other down in the ring...Erik makes a move, but no! Watcher ducks away and hits a bulldog on Erik!

Shallow: Dante and TQ are still brawling outside...DDT to TQ Smooth, and now Dante is sliding into the ring!

BSW: TQ Smooth is fresh off an injury, and it looks as though he might have just pulled something out there...

Shallow: Wait! Dante from the top rope, double knee drop on TQ Smooth! Dante is up, and he throws TQ into the ring!

BSW: Now Erik Blake has the upper hand on The Watcher, and he whips him into the ropes...Tilt-a-Whirl Sideslam by Erik! There's a cover..One! Two! Th-

Shallow: And Dante Jackson breaks up the three count. Now Dante has TQ Smooth up, and he whips him into the corner - No! The ref just stepped in the way, and now he's knocked out!

BSW: Looks like Erik Blake is out of the ring now, looking for a weapon...what the hell is that in his hand? It looks like...

Shallow: My God! The dreaded Steel Owl Statue!

BSW: Now he's up on the apron...here comes Dante...high flipping dropkick, and Erik's knocked out in front of our announcer table here.

Shallow: And Dante picks up that steel owl...

BSW: The Watcher is up! There's a right hand to Dante..wait! Dante counters and swings with that steel owl! The Watcher goes back down!

Shallow: Dante continues to assault The Watcher with that owl...Erik Blake is still knocked out in front of our table...oh my God! here comes TQ Smooth...from the top rope..Guillotine Leg Drop to Erik! Now TQ's setting him up on our announcer table! He's calling for a Dragon Suplex..wait! Dante Jackson's out on the apron...springboard moonsault to TQ! How the hell did he manage to reach that far!?

BSW: Erik rolls off the table...now Dante has TQ up...japanese powerbomb! Standing him up again...Pump Handle Drop! Dante throws him back in the ring...now he's up on the apron!

Shallow: From the top rope...450 Splash! Now he's got him in..what the hell hold is that?

BSW: My God! That's the old Indian Deathlock! Looks like it's over for TQ Smooth!

Shallow: No! The Watcher, from behind, with that damn steel owl! He's got a cover on TQ!

BSW: One! Two! Three! Four! Where the hell are you, ref?

Shallow: The ref's still knocked out! And The Watcher grabs that owl again..wait! Erik Blake, from behind! Tiger Suplex! Now Erik's got the owl!

BSW: Enough with the damn owl, already! Erik Blake, with a vicious owl to the head of TQ Smooth! Now to Dante Jackson! Wait! The Watcher from behind...Bulldog!

Shallow: Looks like the ref's just getting up...about damn time, too.

BSW: All four men are on the ground, now. The ref's starting the count...

Shallow: Erik Blake, struggling to his feet first, and The Watcher gets up next...the two exchange right hands... but Erik counters into an Arm Breaker! The Watcher goes back down!

BSW: Looks like Dante Jackson is the next man up...i think he may have injured his ribs with that 450 Splash..

Shallow: What makes you say that?

BSW: He's clutching his chest right now screaming, 'OH, MY RIBS!'

Shallow: Oh.

BSW: Erik hits a swinging neck breaker on Dante, and TQ Smooth is now up! He's climbing to the top rope...

Shallow: And Erik throws him down! Now it's just him and Dante in the ring! Dante advances...Erik turns around..boot to the face of Erik Blake!

BSW: Dante gets a cover! ONE... TWO... NO! Erik, somehow manages to kick out! And with authority, I might add!

Shallow: Dante goes for a front kick, but Erik counters! Mandara hineri! Dante goes down!

BSW: Erik locks in a Katihajime on Dante...and Dante, wisely grabs that bottom ro...no! He can't reach! Looks like this one's over...

Shallow: Dante Jackson taps out! Erik Blake is our new TV champion!

BSW: Looks like Dante's about to pass out! Erik's not yielding! Oh! My! God! Dante just passed out! The carnage!

*Ding, Ding, ding!*

Chris Astro: The referee has stopped this match... the winner of this match... and NEWWWWWW INTERNET WRESTLING ORGANIZATION MINOR LEAGUE TELEVISION CHAMPION.... ERRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKK BLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEE!!!!

BSW: Well, we've just witnessed one hell of a Television Title Match...

Shallow: Aw, geez. I hate when this happens.

<'Ride the Lightning' by Metallica starts to play.>

Shallow: Well, it's a good song..

BSW: HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER GUY WITH ACTUAL NAME RECOGNITION!

Shallow: THE FORMER IWO WORLD CHAMPION CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS HERE! HE CHARGES DOWN THE RAMPWAY! HE RUNS DOWN DANTE JACKSON WITH A CLOTHESLINE! The Watcher takes a swing at Cappy, Punishment ducks, kick to the gut.....IMPEACHMENT! (Pedigree) T.Q. Smooth off the ropes.....clothesline......No! Cappy catches the arm.......DEATH PENALTY! (Rock Bottom)! Eric Blake being backed into a corner by Cappy.....he double underhooks Blake.......CRIME AND PUNISHMENT (Double Arm Brainbuster)! Capital Punishment has laid out four men! And he's got a mike!

Capital Punishment: Well.......I never expected to be here. But, I am. It's amazing what a restructuring of bosses does to your attitude. Let's be honest, I've lost something off my A game. I know it, you know it, hell, the lockerroom here knows it. But, along with that..every damn member of that lockerroom DREAMS about being for ONE MATCH where I was for TWO YEARS. For two years......I was at the pinnacle of this industry. I won the IWO North American Title SIX TIMES. I won the Tag Titles. I won the I/C Tag Titles twice. I won the Extreme title. And, I won the IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. TWICE. And I did that aganst half-decent competition. Who knows what I can do here? Well, I'm going to start from the bottom with the TV Title. It's gonna be mine. And there isn't a damn thing anyone can do about it.

(Capital Punishment drops the mike and leaves.)

Shallow: I'd say that Cappy is here.

BSW: Duh.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK *

BSW: Number one contenders match for the TAG TITLES, baby!

Shallow: Yes! Donnie Daze's Managers, Southside playaz, and Deadly Sins!

BSW: All of them are in the ring. Southside Playaz and Deadly Sins are staring each other down whilst Donnie Daze's Managers just kinda, sit there. With a content look in their eyes.

Shallow: And all hell breaks loose. Jake Walker with a stiff right to Race Smith. Brandon Smith is now slinging Jack Breaker into the ropes... Swinging neckbreaker! That was freakin' cool!

BSW: Brandon Smith with a leg drop to Jack Breaker, but looks who's up top! It's Jake Walker! Missle dropkick to Brandon Smith. And Deadly Sins are lying on the mat.

Shallow: Donnie Daze's Managers don't seem to be doing anything at all, except for just watching.

BSW: Well, Matt Senate pulls the toothpick out of his mouth, and flings it out into the crowd.

Shallow: Where have I seen that before?

BSW: I don't really know. Looks familiar. But anyhow, They're staring each other down now... Joey Legion with two lefts and a right to Race Smith! Matt Senate kicks Brandon Smith in the solar plexus and then gives him a double-armed DDT.

Shallow: Now the Southside Playaz are down. The only ones up are DD's Managers! Wow.

BSW: Not for long. Both tag teams are getting up. Matt Senate and Joey Legion spear the Smith's to the out side, they then divert thier attention to Deadly Sins. Joey Legion gives Jack Breaker a hard right, and then sets him up... Hard piledriver to Jack Breaker. Matt Senate is giving lefts and rights to Jake Walker. Joey Legion kicks Jake Walker in the back, turns him around, and sets up for an inverted powerbomb. Matt Senate then grabs the head of Jake Walker... Inverted Powerbomb with an X-Factor to top it off. Great move by Donnie Daze's Managers...

Shallow: It looks as if The Managers aren't done with them yet. Jack Breaker is being sit on the top turnbuckle... Now Jake Walker is being sit on a turn buckle... The Managers go to different corners, with a different guy. The Managers are running toward each other! IRISH WHIP BETWEEN THE TWO. AND THE TWO MANAGERS DO FLYING BODY PRESSES TO THE DEADLY SINS! YES! THAT WAS AWESOME...

BSW: All tag teams are out on the floor now... Is there no countouts? This doesn't really look like a tag-match... It's just them beating everyone up...

Shallow: No, I guess not. But I don't have a problem with it.

BSW: Alright... The Managers, and the Southside Playaz are getting back in the ring. The playaz don't hesitate, and run full force at the Managers. Race Smith gives a kick to the mid-section... Joey Legion goes down... Race is punishing him with kicks to the side. Brandon Smith gives a good, old fashoned, karate chop to the likes of Matt Senate... Brandon Smith makes his way around Matt Senate, and gives him a slingshot suplex...

Shallow: Look here! The Deadly Sins have chairs! Jake Walker to the top rope. Jake jumps and slams his chair onto the top of Race Smith's head. Ouch...

BSW: That's not all folks... Jack Breaker taps on Brandon Smith's shoulder. Slam! Chair shot as soon as he turns around. And now the two other tag teams are on the mat, yet again!

Shallow: The Irony.

BSW: You're telling me... What's that noise, by the way?

Shallow: Why, it sounds like a whole foot ball team running toward the arena... Why do you ask?

BSW: Oh, no reason. Except for the CLEVELAND BROWNS ARE RUNNING TOWARD THE RING AS THE TAG TEAMS ARE GETTING UP.

Shallow: The Cleveland Browns are invading the ring! And all three teams make their way out of the ring!

Tim Couch: Hey, guys! Since we can't win a single game in the whole fucking season, let's turn to professional wrestling!

BSW: Bad saying from couch, the whole team has taken off thier helmet and are beating him severly. Tim Couch doesn't look like he can take much more of this punishment.

Shallow: Them? Just look at our tag teams, they're standing outside the ring, just staring stupidly at the Cleveland Browns...

BSW: Matt Senate has gotten his wits back, it looks like. He's shaking his head violently screaming something to the effect of... 'CAN'T LET THEM TAKE OVER MY BRAIN!'.

Shallow: Matt shakes Joey, and Joey snaps out of it also. They both grab the chairs that Deadly Sins had before. They jump in the ring, and proceed to slam the chairs on the Brown's heads. All of the Browns are leaving except for Couch, which is lying in a heap of blood in the middle of the ring.

BSW: All the teams are back in the ring now, making a circle around Couch. Couch is turning over and staring at all the wrestlers...

Tim Couch: God... no! Please! God! NO!! NOOOOOO!!!! *CRUNCH*

BSW: Oh jesus, they just took Tim Couch, and broke both of his legs.

Shallow: And now they're dragging him over to the edge of the ring. Brandon Smith slings off the ropes, and baseball slides Tim Couch out of the ring...

BSW: Well, what a waste of time that was... Let's get back to the match...

Shallow: Side Russian Leg-sweep by Jake Walker to Race Smith. And there's Jack Breaker slamming fists into Donnie Daze's managers. Race, and Brandon Smith are talking to a few lady friends in the crowd. The Managers get the best of Jack Breaker, and Matt Senate jumps to the outside. Matt Senate has just grabbed Brandon Smith by the hair.

Matt Senate: Hey there, foxy lady, he'll be right back with you...

BSW: Senate just slammed a fist into Brandon Smith's face! Knocking him out. But Jack Breaker slammed his arm into Senate's back. Senate turns around, knees Breaker in the stomach, picks him up, and gives him a powerslam to the concrete floor. Senate then jumps in the ring.

Shallow: Race Smith creeps up behind Joey Legion, and gives him an inverted spine buster.

BSW: Wow, cool move. Race Smith puts his knee down on Joey Legions back and pulls back on his chin. Trying to make him tap out. There's no one to break it up! Everyone's outside the ring battling back and forth... Wait! Who's that?

Shallow: It's the PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY! He's going behind Race Smith! FRESH BAKED BROWNIES! ... Twist of Fate ...

BSW: The Pillsbury Doughboy just took Jack Breaker's arm, and lays it over Race Smith!!!

(1...)

(2...)

BSW: Wait! Brandon Smith just slid in the ring, and is running to break up the count!

Shallow: But, there's Jake Walker! Jake, being the faster of the two, slams into Brandon Smith before he can reach Race, and Joey.

(3!!!)

BSW: DONNIE DAZE'S MANAGERS GET A SHOT AT THE WORLD TAG TITLES! THEY FACE MEGA JOB: THE EPIC TAG TEAM!

Shallow: But look at this! The Doughboy hasn't had enough! He's on the outside with Daze's Managers!

BSW: FINAL GIGGLE... rock bottom ... to Joey Legion! THE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE COOKIE DANCE... the worm ... to Matt Senate!

Shallow: And look over there! It's Mega Job on the IML-Tron!

Beef (The slightly annoyed): Janito! I smell evil! And NO! It's not my armpits!

El Janito (The Mexican Stereotype): Yes, Beef! It's Deadly Sins!

Beef: WE HAVE PLANNING TO DO! TO THE JOB CAVE, JANITO!

El Janito: YES, TO THE JOB CAVE! HEY, DOUGHBOY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE AND HELP US THINK OF WAYS TO RID THE WORLD OF EVIL!

BSW: And there goes the Pillsbury doughboy! Great match, don't you think?

Shallow: Please... If it wasn't for that doughboy, The Southside Playaz would have won!

BSW: Well, Deadly Sins win and will face Mega Job next week! Woo!

* COMMERCIAL BREAK *

BSW: Shallow, this next match, is a rather odd one.

Shallow: It's definitly reminiscent of the old IWO days, especially with the circus that's going to be surround the ring. We've got the Pillsbury Doughboy as the Enforcer, the Referee being Rob Kestler, of all people, and Vincent timekeeping the match.

BSW:Not to meantion former two time IWO hall of Famer Psycho Jay, going up against Brian Fury. I know Fury's a talent, but I'll be damned if Fury gets the duke over Jay. I just don't see it happening.

Shallow:Duke? HA! You should be surprised if he survives, let ALONE get's the duke.

(We fade into the ring, as we see none other than a man dressed in a while lab coat with a scraffy white beard, and a hair style kind of like Krusty the Clown.)

Shallow:Dude! That's Dr. Wily!

BSW:It's not, but it's not Chris Astro, I can tell you that. That's not Dr. Wily Shallow, he was a made up video game character.

RA(Bad Russian Accent):Folks, this next match up is scheduled for one fall. Coming first, from the IML television title division... here is BRIAN FURY!

(Fury walks out, his music playing.)

RA:And his opponent, from Philadelphia, PA, no intro needed, here is PSYCHO JAY!!!

('Divine' by KoRn hits the pa system, as out from the back walks Psycho Jay, accompanied to the ring by Rob Kestler. Kestler is sporting a middrif referee shirt, as Vincent seems to be trying to walk away from Kestler. They all take their positions, as Kestler slides into the ring. He scratches his head.)

Shallow:This would be the part where you ring the bell Rob...

(Jay walks over and grabs Rob's hand, forcing him to ring the bell. The bell rings, as Fury immediatly tackles Jay to the mat.)

BSW:Fury knows he's going to have to hit hard, and hit fast.

Shallow:Jay turns Fury around, and just starts smacking him across the face.

(Jay mounts over Fury, and begins to viciously hump Fury's head into the mat.)

Shallow:HEAD HUMP-O-CITY!

BSW:Fury doesn't stand a chance. This is one of the IWO's best in the ring...

(Jay grabs Fury, and tosses him out of the ring, right into the hands of Vincent... so to say.)

Shallow:NO! COCKSLAM! COCKSLAM ON THE ARENA FLOOR!

BSW:What has this company turned into?!?

(All of a sudden, we see a man dressed in a blue outfit come running down the stage. The gray haired announcer seems rather petrified.)

Shallow:That's SO Mega Man! And you said he didn't exist!

BSW:....

(Mega Man gets into the ring, as the ring announcer, confirmed to be Dr. Wily, gets off his seat. He presses a button, as we see Cut Man, Flash Man, and Proto Man appear in the ring.)

Shallow & BSW:...... What in sam hell.

(Mega Man goes ready for his buster, as we see Psycho Jay come out of nowhere and just grab all three robots onto his shoulder. He climbs up top, and hits his patented superbomb on all three. Mega Man jumps out and grabs their weapons, as Jay grabs Mega Man and nails him with the Humpinator. Dr. Wily goes over to gloat over a fallen Mega Man, as Jay just kicks him in the head, knocking, and possibly killing Dr. Wily. Jay climbs back in, as Fury is awaiting him.)

BSW:Dear god, what in sam hell is going on? I think Jay just destroyed the Mega Man series!

Shallow:Ah! But I wanted to play Mega Man 20!

BSW:Fury catches Jay with a few right hands, and sends Jay off the ropes. Jay comes back, as Fury hits a huge standing dropkick, sending Jay off his feet!

Shallow:Fury's going to try to get some offense going, as he quickly jumps to the top. Fury comes flying off with a double ax handle attempt, but Jay CATCHES HIM! OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX ON BRIAN FURY!

(Fury lands on top of a monopoly game in the other ring corner, a game Kestler was playing with himself.)

Kestler:AWH! Why did you do that!

(Kestler draws a card, that says 'Get out of Jail Free' on it. Kestler immediatly raises his hands, and jumps out of the ring. He rips off his striped shirt.)

Kestler:I'M FREE! FREE I'S TELL YA! FREE!

(Vincent steps in front of Kestler's way, as Kestler drugendly makes his way back to the ring.)

BSW:In the ring! Brian Fury has a full nelson locked in on Jay! Jay was busy lookin' at Kestler, but Jay slips out of it! Fury, angerly charges at Jay, who picks Fury up in a bear hug, and SLAMS HIM DOWN! FERICIOUS POWERBOMB BY JAY!

Shallow:Fury has tried to gain the upper hand all match, but it doesn't seem to be working. Fury rolls out of the ring, as Vincent is close by. Fury grabs something under the ring, a ladder? Fury tosses the ladder into the ring, as he follows suit, just getting out of the grasp of Vincent's penis.

BSW:You say that like it's nothing Shallow...

Shallow:Fury has the ladder, and charges at Jay, hitting him in the midsection. Jay doubles over, as Fury slams the ladder down onto Psycho Jay's back!

BSW:Fury climbs up the ropes to the second leval, and comes down with a huge leg drop on the ladder, pushin' Jay into the mat, and the back of the ladder into the back of Psycho Jay's face!

Shallow:Fury's turned it around with that ladder, and he seems rather confident. Jay gets to his face, almost red in anger. Fury turns around, as Jay kicks him in the gut, and picks him up!

BSW & Shallow:HUMPINATOR ON THE LADDER! DEAR GOD! DEAR GOD!!!! FURY IS DEAD!

(Jay grabs Kestler away from his now game of hop scotch, as Jay makes the cover.)

BSW:Kestler counts! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! And Jay has won his match against Brian Fury!!!

(Chris Astro is shown back out, as he kicks a fallen Dr. Wily.)

CA:Your winner... PSYCHO JAY!

* COMMERCIAL BREAK *

Extreme Title Match Celing of Barbed Wire Match Ecstasy -c- v. El Bastardo Loco

(This match was never finished by the writer, so here's a rundown of what happened. When the writer finishes, I will resend the card with his match.)

Ecstasy dominated to start, until his head gets caught in the celing. Loco fires back with right hands and gets a brainbuster for two, a fisherman's suplex for two, then hits the Deportation, but Loco can't take advantage as he, himself, gets caught in the barbed wire. Ecstasy recovers to hit a low front dropkick and a DDT, then hits whatever the hell his finisher is, but then Bumblefuck comes in and wallops him with Ted the Sack of Doorknobs for two. Loco gets up, hits the Jalepeno Popper, then hits the Aero Extremo for the win and the title.

Winner: El Bastardo Loco.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK *

BSW: And now, it is time, for the main event.

Shallow: About time, that is.

BSW: Enough! Harold Hash will be defending his title against Jon Crisp, and what a heated matchup this is expected to be.

Shallow: You're an astute one, aren't you?

BSW: Sigh....Hash and Crisp attacked each other at A Cold Day At Hell, and this match was signed immediately following it as a result! Let's go to the ring, for the introductions!

Astro: Coming to the ring at this time, the IML Heavyweight Championship Challenger...he is the Cult Icon of the Wrestling World...Jon Crisp!

BSW: Crisp coming down to a very loud reaction here...he appears to be extremely focused on the task at hand.

Shallow: As much as you are on a buffet table with nobody around.

BSW: Ha, that's pretty funny there.

Astro: Ahem.

BSW: Sorry.

Astro: Good. Now, coming to the ring, he is the IML Heavyweight Champion...Harold Hash!

BSW: Here comes Hash, and he looks extremely confident himself! He looks like he thinks this will be a cake walk!

Shallow: Probably will be, too.

BSW: I don't know...Crisp is very talented, and could take Hash to the limit very easily.

Shallow: Crisp has no talent. What in the hell are you smoking?

BSW: Not a damn thing. Hash in the ring now, presenting the title to the crowd...and now, he stares at the Icon, who does not seem impressed. The two get right in each others faces...and the bell rings!

BSW: The two are staring each other down...and Crisp pushes Hash, backing him up! Hash gets right back in there and pushes Crisp, knocking him to the mat! I don't believe it! Harold Hash showing tremendous strength! But here comes the Icon, right back up, and now HE decks Hash to the ground!

Shallow: Wow, could we speed this up? I'm getting a bit tired.

BSW: Hash back up, and now the two lock up...Hash gets the upperhand, but Crisp brings him to the ropes. Crisp whips him across the ropes...missed clothesline attempt from Crisp...Hash across the ring, off the ropes...Hash takes off with a crossbody, catching the Icon offguard! Here's a cover! ONE... TWO... no! Crisp kicks out! Hash picks up Crisp, and whips him into a turnbuckle! But wait! Crisp leaps up onto the top turnbuckle, and Hash hits the deck! Crisp plants himself, and takes off with a splash of his own...and CONNECTS! Here's a cover! ONE... TWO... THRE...NO! Hash is up!

BSW: Crisp picks up Hash, and whips him into the ropes...Hash bounces off...and Crisp tosses him over the top rope, and down to the outside!

Shallow: Alright, now this is beginning to pick up!

BSW: Crisp down onto the mat now, and he picks up Hash, and places him on the Spanish Announcers table...what is he planning on doing?

Shallow: He's going to give him an Easter basket, idiot.

BSW: What?

Shallow: You heard me. You're a total idiot.

BSW: Crisp is climbing up to the top rope...what is he going to do now? What's going to happen!

Shallow: He's going to leap off, duh!

BSW: Yes, but with what? He takes off...with a 450 splash! And Hash ROLLS OFF! Crisp lands on the announcers table, and destroys it! Holy shit!

Shallow: I told you. Hash has got the brains to win this.

BSW: Hash now picks up the Icon, and he locks him in for a suplex...onto the steel steps! Oh man, that's got to hurt! Hash picks up Crisp once again, and he lifts him up...JACKHAMMER! He goes for a cover on the outside! ONE.. TWO.............CRISP GOT A SHOULDER UP! How did that happen??!!

Shallow: That proves again that WCW and their finishing moves suck.

BSW: Hash now, tossing Crisp back into the ring...and Hash now climbs to the top rope. What is HE going to do?!

Shallow: He's going to try some crazy stunt. Do you EVER watch wrestling?

BSW: Don't you have anything IMPORTANT to say?

Shallow: No, not really.

BSW: Great, then shut up. Hash now lining up the Icon...he takes off...and goes after a 450 splash of his own! And he NAILS IT! Here's a cover! ONE... TWO... NO! NO!!! Crisp got a shoulder up AGAIN! Hash looking rather pissed off here...he's looking for something else to do...he gets Crisp's legs, and he's trying to lock him into a figure-four...but Crisp senses it, and kicks Hash away. Hash falls into the ropes...he bounces off, and goes for a legdrop...and Crisp rolls away from it!

Shallow: How do guys hurt themselves from missing a legdrop?!

BSW: I have no idea, but they do! Hash now grabbing his leg...he might have pulled something...Crisp is back up...and he kicks the leg out from under Hash! Hash falls to the mat! Crisp stomping away at that leg now.

BSW: Crisp picks up Hash, and he throws him into the ropes...Hash comes back, and there's a kick to the gut! Crisp locks in Hash...for a powerbomb! Here's a cover! ONE... TWO... NO! Hash kicks out! And Crisp is furious! He thought he had that three count!

Shallow: It's ok. Your time is coming Jon. You'll lose soon. Trust me.

BSW: The way it's going, either one could easily walk away the winner! Crisp lifts up Hash, and locks in both arms...DOUBLE ARM SUPLEX! Here's another cover!

BSW: 1!

BSW: 2!

BSW: And Hash kicks out! What a fight between these two!

Shallow: This is all-out, I will give them that.

BSW: Thank you. Crisp lifts up Hash, and tosses him into the ropes...and Hash stops short on the ropes! And now Crisp is charging him...Crisp takes off with a splash, but nobody's home! Hash dropped down, taking the top rope with him! Crisp flies over the top! What can happen now!

Shallow: Hash has got to get the offensive back right now.

BSW: And it looks like Hash is trying to do so...Hash now on the apron...he's climbing to the top rope...he sets himself up...and there's a flog splash! And he connects! But it looks like he's hurt!

Shallow: He didn't land right.

BSW: Both men are on the ground, and the ref is beginning to count both men down!

Ref: 1!

Ref: 2!

Ref: 3!

Ref: 4!

Ref: 5!

BSW: Hash is beginning to get up, and he's favoring his neck a bit...

Ref: 6!

BSW: And Crisp is attempting to get up!

Ref: 7!

Ref: 8!

BSW: Hash is up now, and he picks up Crisp...the two are brawling, and Hash gets the upper hand! He's bringing him this way!

Shallow: Oh, that's all we need.

BSW: Indeed. Hash bringing Crisp over here...Hash going for a DDT, but it's blocked! Reverse! Crisp with a neckbreaker! Hash appears to be really hurt now! What will Crisp do now?!

Shallow: He's going to try to put him away!

BSW: Crisp picks up Hash and tosses him onto the apron...he lifts him up, and hooks the arms from behind...he lines up our table, and picks up Hash......and takes flight with a.......HO--- S--H----!

Shallow: ....HOL....SHIT!

BSW: ........I........DON...........BEL..........IT!

Shallow: M......GO........

BSW: Can........any.........one.......he......ar........us?

BSW: CRISP WITH A TIGER DRIVER '91 ONTO OUR FUCKING TABLE! I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS! Both men are down! But Crisp is getting back up...what will he do now?! He's picking up Hash.....he's hooking him back up...for...no, don't do it! I don't believe it!

Shallow: ANOTHER HOLY SHIT!

BSW: SUPERDRIVER 99! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THE FANS ARE IN AWE! Both men are down! Crisp has this won! All he has to do is cover him!

Shallow: I didn't think Crisp could pull off either move! I'm amazed!

BSW: Crisp is trying to get over and make the cover...and now he does!

BSW: ONE... TWO...............

Shallow: .............

BSW: ............

BSW: KICKOUT! KICKOUT! HASH KICKED OUT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Shallow: INCREDIBLE!

BSW: The fans are chanting IML now, cheering hard for both men! They're still down, but Crisp is slowly getting up! He picks up Hash! He tosses him into the ring! Crisp slides in...and signals for the Icon! The Icon is coming! He picks up Hash!

Shallow: This has been an amazing match!

BSW: Wait! Hash blocks it! He is battling back! What a fighting champ! I don't believe it!

Shallow: Where's Hash getting the strength?!

BSW: Hash kicks Crisp in the gut! He lifts him up! GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! Hash nailed it! Here's a cover! One... two.. NO! NO! CRISP KICKED OUT! And Hash is back up! He lifts up Crisp...and signals for the Burnout! If he hits this, it's over!

Shallow: How can Hash even attempt the Burnout! Where can he get this?!

BSW: He lifts him up...and nails the thrust kick! Hash picks up Crisp, and signals for the piledriver off the top! But wait! Crisp fights it! And...BACKDROP FROM CRISP! CRISP BACKDROPPED HASH OFF THE TOP! Crisp climbs to the top...MOONSAULT! CRISP WITH A MOONSAULT! WHERE IN THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!

Shallow: Out of thin air!

BSW: Here's a cover! One... two... thr-NO! Hash kicked out again! I don't believe it! I do NOT believe it!

Shallow: Crisp and Hash slowly get to their feet! Hash with a right hand! And another! Hash is fighting back! Clothesline to Crisp! Hash picks Crisp up... but Crisp reverses and sends Hash to the outside! Hash is up and he's got a steel chair! Crisp doesn't even know it! He's gesturing to the crowd!

BSW: Stupid! Why does he go for the chair when he has the win!?

Shallow: Hash slides into the ring and tries a chairshot!

*SMACK!*

BSW: Hash hit Crisp! The referee is calling for the bell!

*ding, ding, ding*

BSW: DAMMIT! Hash couldn't beat Crisp on his own, so he hit him with that chair!

Chris Astro: The winner of this match... by disqualification... Jon Crisp!

Shallow: Hash is leaving the ring, with the title!

BSW: Fans, we're out of time! See you next week!