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(The IWO logo fades onto the screen. It begins beating like a heart. Awww, such a cute little logo. Beating like a little heart. Awww. Isn't that precious? Wait a minute. OH MY GOD!!! THE LOGO JUST EXPLODED INTO FLAMES!!! OH MY GOD THIS IS DISTURBING!!!! SOMEBODY GET THIS LOGO A FIREMAN TO EXTINGUISHED THE FLAMES!! Oh good... the logo is stopping, dropping and rolling! GOOD LOGO! GOOD! IWO sends a message with this program, always stop, drop and roll when you are on fire! Anyway, we cut backstage... we see Neil Prettymen, the ETMU, shaking his hips like Ricky Martin on cocaine as he stands on his desk... wearing all pink.)

ETMU Neil: SHE BANGS, SHE BANGS... I BANGS, I BANGS MEN!!! T-HEHEHEHEHE!!! Momma always said I was her little women!!! Garsh, if only I would have found my homosexual side sooner!

(A knock at his door is heard.)

ETMU Neil: Well come right on in there, buttercup!

(The recent returnee veteran, "The Mysterious One" ?¿? charges into Neils office... ?¿? slams his fist on Neils desk.)

?¿?: Why the hell are there idiots always running around, ripping my character off completely? There's an idiot right now, that is getting an EXTREME TITLE SHOT for GODS sake, and he only got it by potraying my image! I'm sick of it.

ETMU Neil: I'm sooooo sorry. I'll make it up to you.

(ETMU Neil flickers his eyelashes passionatly. ?¿? is disgusted.)

?¿?: You are a stupid fucking moron. I'm NOT gay. I'm RETIRED. Got it? R-E-T-I-R-E-D. I'm not coming back. And to all of those oblivious jobbers out there that plan on returning with this mask on, they can't. This image is now officially trademarked as of midnight tonight.

ETMU Neil: Yippers! Care to celebrate, baby?

(ETMU Neil flickers his eyelashes passionatly again. ?¿? punches ETMU Neil in the face, and he falls onto his desk, out cold.)

ETMU Neil: Mercy!

?¿?: Asshole.

(?¿? begins to walk out, but runs into "The Mysterious Birdman" 0¿0.)

0¿0: KAW!!! WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING, YOU WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING, QUESTION MARKY!!!!

?¿?: Dumb ass.

(?¿? leaves ETMU's office. 0¿0 begins shaking his feathered arms in a fury, making papers on ETMU Neils desk blow all over the place. Neil awakens from unconciousness.)

ETMU Neil: HEY! MY PAPERS! I poop on those papers. :-(

0¿0: RIIIIIIGHT.

ETMU Neil: AND YOUR SUPPOST TO BE FIRED!!! OUT OF HERE!!!

0¿0: THAT'S WHERE YOUR WRONG MY RICHARD SIMMONS HUGGING AMIGO! I WAS HIRED BY THE IWO BLACK... NOW THAT THEY ARE ONE AGAIN, I AM BACK LIKE AIDS IN AFRICA!!!

ETMU Neil: ... well fuck me and call me Susan. What do you want now?

0¿0: I WANT A EXTREME TITLE SHOT. GIVE IT, OR I WILL PECK YOU FURIOUSLY WITH MY PLASTIC BEAK.

ETMU Neil: Oh, you do, don't you? Well... uhm... NO! SUCK MY DICK! HAHAHAHA!!

0¿0: KAW NO!!! YOU HOMOSEXUAL BASTARD!!! LETS GET HIM, BOYS!!!

(Suddenly, El Bastardo Loco, and a bunch of drunk Irish leprechauns begin beating down ETMU Neil.)

ETMU Neil: AHHH!!! PINK IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!!!

(ETMU Neil falls over, unconcious. Suddenly, Thomas Ford runs in...)

Thomas Ford: Neil, Neil? AH! Who the fuck are you?

0¿0: I AM THE OBJECT OF YOUR PET PARROTS MASTERBATION.

El Bastardo Loco: And I'm the fucker that follows him.

Thomas Ford: Where's ETMU Neil?

0¿0: I PLAN ON FEEDING HIM TO A NEST OF BIRDS, AND THROWING HIS BODY IN THE JAMAICAN OCEAN!!!

Thomas Ford: Eh, I never really liked him, anyway. He'd always play that Ricky Martin music during board meetings. Uhuhuhuh. Alright, I need a matter to discuss with an ETMU, a completely useless and crappy job... so since I don't wanna pick another homosexual, your the new ETMU.

0¿0: KAW YES!!!! KAW YES!!!!

Thomas Ford: Anyway, here is the matter I need to discuss. Should I wear these multi-colored socks with the toes, or these DELICIOUS bunny socks?

0¿0: GO WITH THE BUNNIES.

Thomas Ford: Thanks!

(Thomas Ford runs out of the room clicking his heels... 0¿0 looks at El Bastardo Loco.)

0¿0: KAW... THE FUN IS JUST GETTING STARTED!

El Bastardo Loco: HAIL YES!!!

(They begin ripping down all the Ricky Martin posters in Neils office as we fade to the sold out Monday Night Meltdown arena.)

GP: WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT MELDOWN!

JS: WE HAVE A BUNCH OF ANNOUNCERS HERE TODAY!

JT: YAY!

Nikki: WHOOOO!!!! I’M RICK FLAIR!

AK: I like rice.

GP: THIS IS NEIL’S LAST CARD!

Donnie Daze and Erik Blake: YAY!

(Cut to Neil)

EX-ETMU Neil: My plans are almost complete… IWO shall fall… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Commercial Break.)

(We cut backstage to see the one, the only. The Structure and the Method Kent Anthason making his way to Joey Malone’s locker-room. The fans in the audience immediately cheer for the former North American champion, as he smirks and takes off his sunglasses revealing his sharp, blue eyes.)

Kent Anthason: I may not be able to wrestle, but at least I can hang back here where I belong.

(Kent continues to walk as he is confronted by that countress… Julie Malone-Carson. She brushes past Kent, as Anthason whirls around.)

Julie Malone-Carson: That’s a mighty big bruise you got there, champ.

Kent Anthason: I would be the one to know.

Julie Malone-Carson: Joey doesn’t want to see you.

Kent Anthason: *I* don’t want to see you.

Julie Malone-Carson: You know, Kent. Joey doesn’t really like you, he just plays as your friend because
you got hurt by his mistake.

Kent Anthason: I’ll believe it when I hear it, Julie. Until then, I’d rather not hear your voice.

Julie Malone-Carson: I’m doing it for your own good. You’re just a kid, anyhow.

Kent Anthason: For my own good? It’s in your best interest, and your own good, that you get out of my way before I RUN you over, myself.

Julie Malone-Carson: Touchy, touchy. Fine then.

(Julie steps aside as Kent Anthason passes. She glares at him, then mutters under her breath.)

Julie Malone-Carson: You’ll see, Kent. Soon enough.

(Cut to ringside. Boy am I excited.)

GP- Welcome fans we have a exciting match for you coming up right now.

JT- For once GP..I am going to agree with you because we have Erik Blake
vs. Nuke and Donnie Daze tonight!

GP- What?!? That is not it!

JT- Yes it is.

GP- You said it like it is Erik Blake vs. Nuke and Donnie Daze. It is
Erik Blake vs. Nuke vs. Donnie Daze.

JT- Does it actually matters?

GP- Yes! Of course! Accuracy is a big thing. Especially in the time of
the Operation Clean Sweep!

JT- Eh...IWO Black and White merged. What a fantasy land.

GP- Well lets get on with our match!

Ring Announcer- Introduction first...from Chicago, Illinois...Eriiiiik
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

*"Purple Pills" by D12 f/Eminem plays on the P.A. and outcomes Erik Blake
with Dave by his side. Blake walks down to the ring and sits on the
announce table.*

GP- Um...Mr. Blake? Can you get up? I can't see.

Erik Blake- You should be happy. You don't get to see Donnie Daze or
Nuke.

JT- Good point.

Ring Announcer- Introductin second....from St. Lucie,
Florida....DOONIEEEEEEEEEEEE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZE!

*"Your Disease" by Saliva plays on the P.A. and Donnie Daze walks out to
the ring. He raises his hands as a fan shouts "YOU LAZY BUM!" and he
smiles. He rolls into the ring and hops around.*

*Erik Blake rolls into the ring and attacks Daze from behind.*

GP- BACK ATTACK! ERIK BLAKE IS ATTACKING DONNIE DAZE FROM BEHIND! WHAT A
COWARD! WHAT A PUNK!

JT- Will you please shut up with that? Sheesh...

GP- Erik Blake with a kick to the mid-section....he bounces off the ropes
and a bulldog by Blake.

JT- Wow...the match has started and we are missing Nuke!

GP- Gut-wrench powerbomb by Blake who is really dominating Daze.

*"Till Hell Freezes Over" by D12 plays on the P.A. and Nuke runs to the
ring. Blake sees this and tosses Daze on the outside. He motions for Nuke
to bring it on and Nuke slides into the ring and they both hit each other
with a flurry of punches. Nuke starts to get the upper-hand and bounces
off the rope for momentum. He attempts a flying clothesline but Blake
ducks it and grabs Nuke to execute a reverse painkiller submission.*

GP- What a great maneaveur by Blake. Blake has some raw talent.

JT- He is aight. Wait...there is Daze! Daze is on the top rope. He is
going for a leg drop.

GP- BLAKE MOVED! NUKE GOT HIT WITH THE LEG DROP. Daze goes for the
cover..
ONE.....
TWO....

JT- Break-up by Blake.

GP- Blake picks Daze up and hits him with a flurry of punches. He punches
him into the corner and gets on the second turnbuckle. He starts to punch
Daze but the crowd is silent.

Erik Blake Screaming- COUNT DAMMIT!

GP- Blake is relying on the fans too much here...

JT- LOWBLOW BY DAZE! LOWBLOW BY DAZE! BLAKE IS DOWN AND OUT. WAIT NUKE
FROM BEHIND....FALLOUT! FALLOUT BY NUKE! ITS OVER!

GP- He goes for the cover...
ONE....
TWNOOOOOOO!

JT- Daze breaks it up.

GP- Daze picks up Nuke and whips him into the ropes. Nuke comes back with
a clothesline but Daze ducks. Nuke slides between Daze's legs and pushes
Daze INTO THE REFEREE!

JT- DAZE JUST KNOCKED THE REF OUT! DISQUALIFY HIM! DISQUALIFY HIM!

GP- That was a accident!

JT- WAIT DAVE IS IN THE RING! DAVE I SIN THE RING!

GP- NUKE DOESN'T SEE HIM....HIGHLIGHTER BY DAVE! DAVE JUST GAVE NUKE A
HIHGLIGHTER! THAT IS BLAKE'S FINISHING MOVE!

JT- I guess it is like wrestler like manager huh?

GP- Nuke is laid out in the middle of the ring..Blake sees this and goes
to the top rope! What could he be doing?!?

JT- Oh no...I have a strange idea. His new move!

GP- What new move?

JT- I chatted with Blake over the phone and he said he was gonna bring
out a new move. He calls it the Final Flash!

GP- What could he do?

*Blake jumps on the top turnbuckle to have his back to nuke and does a
moonsault off the top rope. Then he quickly shifts his legs into a leg
drop and connects.*

GP- DEAR GOD! WHAT A MOVE! WHAT MOVE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! ERIK BLAKE WITH
A SPECTACULAR MOVE ON NUKE!

JT- He is celebrating too much...he has to finish him..

GP- WAIT! THERE IS DAZE! DAZE IS BACK UP AND IN THE RING! DAZED AND
CONFUSED! DAZED AND CONFUSED ON BLAKE! DEAR GOD! DAZE GOES FOR THE
COVER...

Crowd- 1.....2.....3.....4....5

JT- There is no one to take the count...

GP- Dave is in the ring! DAVE HAS A CHAIR. BUT DAZE SEES THIS AND GETS
UP.

JT- Daze caught him...they are staring each other down..

*A battered and bruised Nuke goes behind Daze and barely executes another
Fallout.*

GP- FALLOUT ON DAZE! FALLOUT ON DAZE!

JT- WAIT! DAVE JUST CLOCKED NUKE WITH THE CHAIR! DAVE CLOCKED NUKE WITH A
CHAIR!

GP- But it doesn't matter because the ref is still out right in front of
us!

JT- So the match has got to keep going!

GP- Wait! Blake is moving! He has a arm over Daze! But there isn't anyone
to count! Dammit! No one to count!

JT- Wait! Another ref is coming out! Another ref!

GP- The ref is in the ring!
ONE....
TWO...
THREENOOOOOOOO!

JT- DAZE KICKED OUT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! DAZED KICKED OUT!

GP- OH MY OGD I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THESE IWO SUPERSTARS ARE GIVING IT
EVERYTHING THEY GOT JUST TO ADVANCE IN THE GOLD AND GLORY TOURNEMENT!

JT- WELL BLAKE WANTS IT MORE THAN ANYBODY BECAUSE HE DESPERATELY WANTS
THAT BIG PUSH.

GP- All three of them are battered and moving! They are all trying to get
up. Nuke is the first one up and backs into the corner. Daze charges at
Nuke but misses and goes flying through the turnbuckle hitting his
shoulder. Daze looks Dazed and confused himself. he is backing up while
Nuke is going to the top rope!

JT- He may be going for the Nuclear Holocaust!

GP- He jumps but WAIT! BLAKE PUSHES DAZE OUT OF THE WAY AND EXECUTES A
HIGHLIGHTER ON NUKE! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

JT- JESUS H. CHRIST! HE TURNED A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST INTO A HIHGLIGHTER! I
DON'T BELIEVE IT!

GP- BLAKE GOES FOR THE COVER....
ONE....
TWNOOOO!

JT- Dazes breaks them up. Daze is setting Blake up for a Dazed and
Confused....BLAKE REVERSES IT! HE DELIVERS A FACE BUSTER ON DAZE!

GP- HE GOES FOR THE COVER
ONE.....
TWO...
THRNOOOOOOOOOOO!

JT- MAN! WHERE IS DAZE HIDING ALL OF HIS STRENGTH?!?

GP- Wait a minute...Blake and Daze are looking at Nuke. WHAT THE HELL?!?
THEY ARE DOUBLE-TEAMING HIM.

JT- THEIR GOING FOR A DOUBLE-SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP-ROPE!

GP- GOOD GOD! NUKE IS IN TROUBLE! NUKE NEEDS A MIRACLE!

JT- HERE IT COMES!

GP- GREAT CEASER'S GHOST! BUT WAIT...THEY BOTH PIN HIM?!?

JT- WHAT THE HELL?

GP- THEY BOTH PIN HIM. THE REF GOES DOWN TO COUNT...
ONE....
TWO...
THR-- WAIT!

JT: Blake just jumped up and pulled Daze off of Nuke! They're in some sort of argument...

GP: Well, it seems they made up with whatever they were fighting over as a quick hand-- HIGHLIGHTER! A QUICK HANDSHAKE LEADS TO THE HIGHLIGHTER! DAZE IS OUT AND LAYING RIGHT NEXT TO NUKE! BLAKE COVERS! ONE!!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!! ERIK BLAKE ADVANCES IN THE TOURNAMENT!!

JT: Wow, what a match...

GP: Fans, we'll be right back!

JD: WAIT A SECOND!

Jasmine: YEAH!

GP: What now?

JD: I WANT TO ANNOUNCE! I AM AN OLD IWO BLACK ANNOUNCER!

Jasmine: YEAH!

JT: Why Jasmine, you can announce… IN MY PANTS!

*slap*

*slap*

(Commercial.)

(Insert Sabastian Crow/DPS Man match here. Oh wait, DPS Man is dead… Holy Shit. This is going to fuck up the card. I better do something about it. Oh wait, what’s this? SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS! I LOVE THIS SHOW! I can finish MNM later, time to watch Sponge Bob.)

(The door to Joey Malone’s locker room slams open. Joey’s star name tag that hung on the steel door falls to the ground with a clack, and Kent Anthason storms into the dressing room, mad as a hornet. Joey Malone looks up at him contently, as he shines his boots.)

Kent Anthason: Something HAS to be done about your sister, Joey. She’s a maniac.

Joey Malone: I don’t think so. It’s just you, Kent.

Kent Anthason: She just slapped Keri, Joey. Blood was gushing out of her nose. Keri’s in the arena first aid station.

Joey Malone: What did Julie say?

Kent Anthason: She said it was an accident, but then I accused her and she confess-

Joey Malone: Then I believe my sister. She wouldn’t do a thing like that.

Kent Anthason: Joey, I stood there and watched it happen.

Joey Malone: Kent Anthason. What are you trying to pull? Are you trying to pull Julie away from me?

Kent Anthason: I’m trying to make you realize that Julie Malone-Carson is nothing but trouble.

Joey Malone: My SISTER is NOT trouble, Anthason.

Kent Anthason: Anthason? You call me by my last name, now?

Joey Malone: Shut up. I heard about what you’ve done, Kent. How you backstab people.

Kent Anthason: Backstab people?

Joey Malone: Shut up. And it’s not working, now, Kent. Our friendship is over.

Kent Anthason: You’re going to end our friendship because I’m telling the truth?

Joey Malone: You’re filling me with lies, Anthason. You’re jealous that I spend time with Julie. That I cared when she came to see me, somewhat about as equal as when you got hurt. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you much in the hospital, but Julie doesn’t come to see me often, and she’s in some trouble right now.

Kent Anthason: That’s not the point, Joe-

Joey Malone: The point is, Kent, that you’re pulling this conspiracy that’s trying to pull Keri away from me, and Julie away from me. I don’t know why, do you have something against me?

Kent Anthason: No, Joey, please… Real-

Joey Malone: SHUT UP, AND GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM, OR I’LL KICK YOUR ASS MYSELF.

(Kent turns around, and walks out the door way, slamming it behind him.)


GP: Just kidding.

(Fade back to more “Extras”)

[ “I am your Boogie Man” by White Zombie blares overthe PA speakers as the fans immediately begin toboo. ]

GP: Oh great ! Evan Levine has returned to MondayNight Meltdown.

JT: Awesome.

GP: Yeah, I guess you like this, JT?

JT: Of course.

GP: **Sigh** Pathetic.

JT: =)

[ Evan Levine walks out In a black business suit,carrying a microphone In his hand, and a notebook Inthe other, as he marks his way toward the ring. Heenters In between the ropes and folds out his arms tothe public, smiling at them, as they continue to booheavily. ]

GP: I wonder what In the Hell he wants.

[ The music comes to a fade as Evan brings themicrophone to his lips, and begins to speak... ]

Evan Levine: Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight Is a veryspecial night for the IWO. Tonight, yes indeed, wehave an awesome battle royal lined up for yourenjoyment. In this very ring, we will see 7 superstarsgoingat It until one last man Is standing. Once that lastman Is standing, next week on Monday NightMeltdown, he will be awarded a box. Now, I can’t tellyou what Is In that box, because It’s a surprise. But,tonight, they’re going to recognize, they’re all readyIn store for a surprise, hehe...

Shallow: What’s he talking about ?

[ “Fuck All” by Kid Rock starts to blare over the PAspeakers as the fans boo much heavier. ]

GP: Oh, great...

[ Sabastian Crow walks out onto the stage, wearing hisusual black KIK pants, loose black shirt, and darkshades, to cover his eyes. His black hair slings tohis shoulders, as he chomps on some chewing gum. Heholds a microphone In his hand as the music fades. ]

JT: It’s Sabastian Crow !!!

Sabastian Crow: Evan Levine, welcome back, son.

Evan Levine: What brings you out here, Crow ?

Sabastian Crow: Well, Evan. I sit back there, and Ilisten to your mouth run and run and run, about thisbig battle royal happening tonight, and, I’m not sureIf I heard correctly, because my ears are still beingclogged from Tennessee... but, did you say there’sgoing to be a surprise tonight ?

Evan Levine: Well...

Sabastian Crow: NOT ONLY a surprise... but a HUGEsurprise, at that !?

Evan Levine: Well, yeah. The winner of tonight’sbattle royal, get’s a box introduced to them on nextweeks, Monday Night Meltdown.

Sabastian Crow: Interesting. Yes, that’s what Ithought I heard. Now Evan, what If I told you Iapproachyou here tonight, with a mega surprise of my own ?

Evan Levine: What do you mean ?

Shallow: Yeah. What does he mean ?

JT: Hmmm...Sabastian Crow: What do I mean ? Well, Evan, I’m soglad you asked that question and to get things outof the way, let’s get this game started... LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN...

[ Crow turns to his side and points toward thecurtain. ]

Sabastian Crow: INTRODUCING BEHIND THE ONE AND ONLYIWO CURTAIN THERE IS...COMING ALL THE WAY FROM THE LONG JOURNEY HERE... THELOVELY, THEBEAUTIFUL... DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP: WHAT !?!?

Shallow: DISCORD ?!?!?!?

[ The fans erupt In a mixed reaction, not knowing whatto think. “Butterfly” by Crazy Town startsblasting over the speakers. ]

Come my lady...Come, Come my lady...You’re my butterfly...Sugar, baby...

[ Discord walks out from behind the curtains, wearingblack leather pants and a black baby T angel 4 lifeshirt. She also holds a microphone In her hand, as shestares down at Evan... Evan can’t believe what he’sseeing... ]

Such a sexy,sexy pretty little thing Fierce nipple pierce you got me sprung with yourtongue ring And I ain't gonna lie cause your loving gets me high So to keep you by my side there's nothing that I won'tt ry Butterflies in her eyes and looks to kill Time is passing I'm asking could this be real Cause I can't sleep I can't hold still The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal

GP: I don’t believe what I’m seeing !!! Discord hasreturned to the IWO !!!!

JT: Oh, no !! What has Sabastian Crow done !?!?!?

GP: Look at Evan Levine’s face, he can’t believe It!!!!

[ With **the look** on Discords face, she continues tostare down Evan Levine, as Crow stands besideher, smiling at Evan, with a cocky look on his face. ]

I can feel too much is never enoughYou're always there to lift me up When these times get rough I was lost Now I'm found Ever since you've been aroundYou're the women that I want So yo, I'm putting it down

[ The music fades as Discord brings the microphone toher mouth. But, cameras switch over to Evan, andhe’s all ready beaten her to the punch. ]

Evan Levine: DISCORD !? WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOINGHERE !?!?!?? ... GET YOUR ASSOUT OF THIS ARENA, NOW !!!!!!

[ Crow smiles. Discord looks over at Crow and smilesas well... she pays her attention back to Evan. ]

Sabastian Crow: Whoa. Now Evan, calm down there, son.Don’t get yourself all bundled up into a heartattack now, just take It easy...

Evan Levine: ......

Sabastian Crow: Now, If you’re calm enough to listen,I’ll tell you how Discord got here. You see, a littlewhile back, Discord came to me In a distraught...since, you walked out on her, she was helplessingloss...so, well, I decided to take her In... then, we finallystarted to realize how much of a internationaljackass,you really were !!!

[ Audience pops some more. ]

JT: What !?!? Has Crow lost his mind !?!? He can’t saythat about Evan !!!

Sabastian Crow: Now, Evan, with me not being the bossor anything of a multi billion dollar franchise,known as the IWO... we had to have a little helpgetting her back In here... so, Evan, please pay yourrespect to the IWO Tron because this next thing, Is ashocka’, hehe...

[ Crow and Discord, both turn to there sides and lookup at the IWO Tron. ]

GP: What’s going on ?

**IWO Tron Footage**

[ On the footage, we see Sabastian Crow sitting behinda desk. He’s wearing black KIK pants, a whiteunderneath shirt, and a opened, un-buttoned Levi’sshirt, with brown Lugz boots. A paper lays on the deskas he has his feet plopped up onto the desk. ]

Sabastian Crow: Hey, Evan ! You know, If you’rewatching this right now... then, you’re probably Inthering, staring me down, with that strange look In youreye, thinking,

“- Just what the Hell does SabastianCrow think he’s doing !? -”,

hehe... or, either that,I could’ve caught your attention at a bad time whileyou were sexually molesting The Mysterious One’smonkey, while eating chicken poo. LoL. Anyway,Evan, here to answer all your questions Is, of course,myself... Sabastian Crow... and my own personallawyer, Jack Coats... Jack ?

[ The camera zooms out so we can focus on both, Crowand Jack. Jack Is wearing a black business suitand tie. They shake hands. ]

Sabastian Crow: Hello, Jack.

Jack Coats: Hey there, Crow...Sabastian Crow: Now, Jack... In front of me, I hold upa piece of paper...

[ Crow grabs the sheet of paper that laid In front ofhim and starts looking at It. ]

Sabastian Crow: Now, do you mind explaining to me whatthis Is all about?

Jack Coats: What’s there to explain, Crow ? You simplyall ready know what It’s about.

Sabastian Crow: No, No, No... you don’t get what I’masking, Jack. Do you mind explaining to thepeople, including Evan Levine, what this Is all about?

Jack Coats: Oh, sure. You see, Crow, what thissincerely states... Is that, I am Jamie Cosoy’s lawyerandfrom what he has drawn up here on paper, Is of course,Discord’s contract back inside the IWO.

Sabastian Crow: Oh? Interesting.

Jack Coats: But, not only does Discord get a contractback inside the IWO... but, she also cannot be fireduntil this 5 year notice Is disconnected. Now, In thebottom right here, It also says...

[ Crow looks up at the cameras and nods his head, likehe understands everything... Jack runs his fingertoward the bottom of the contract. ]

Jack Coats: It also states here, that you, Crow, getto choose 1 match of your choosing !!!

Sabastian Crow: Wait a minute ! One match of mychoosing !?!?

[ Crow looks over at Jack, then back at the paper, Insurprise... of course, he knew all this from thestart. ]

Jack Coats: That’s what It says...

Sabastian Crow: Wow. This Is tight... well, thank youJack, and have a good day !

Jack Coats: You too.

**Exit IWO Tron Footage**

[ Cameras take us back to Evan, who Is standing In thering, steamed. Cameras go back to Crow. ]

Sabastian Crow: Now, you see Evan... Discord has beenCONTRACTED back into the IWO... but, I aswell, get to choose a match of my choice... one match,one show... hmmm, what should It be....[

Cameras keep pacing back to Evan and Crow... thistime, It’s Evan... ]

Evan Levine: Hold up there, Crow !!! If you get tochoose one match, then what shall It be, that Is thequestion, yes ! But, It has to go through me first...

Sabastian Crow: Hehe... funny, Evan... but, It neversays anything about that In the contract...

Evan Levine: ......

Sabastian Crow: Hell, I should just make myselfCommissioner... then, this show will really getinteresting !!!!

Evan Levine: You just watch It, Crow !!! Idiot, I’llget to you In a moment... Discord, what In the Hell doyou think you’re...

Discord: Evan, I’ve waited for a long time to say thisand now I can... shut the FUCK up !!!!

[ The audience pops louder. ]

Discord: You see, Evan... for years, I have been byyour side... I have gave you my support... I have gaveyou my love... and then, you broke my heart... soEvan, It’s payback time, BABY !!!!!!

[ The audience pops even louder. ]

Shallow: Uh oh !!!

Evan Levine: Grrr...

Sabastian Crow: Two against One, Evan... but, the funhas yet to begin.

[ “Fuck All” by Kid Rock blares over the PA speakersas Discord comes behind Crow and wraps her armsaround him, moving her hands up and down his chest...teasing Evan... Crow gives Evan a cocky smile asEvan stands there, steamed, too pissed to move, justthinking of ripping Crow’s head off. ]

GP: My, God ! Tonight Is going to be a war !!!

(Suddenly, "Duel Of the Fates" starts up as Two masked men, resembling the build of Schitzo Tod and Mad Max, run down tot he ring leading the ENTIRE POPULATION OF MEXICO!)

JT: AHHH!!!!!!

(The all beat everyone up. Fade to Neil.)

EX-ETMU Neil: Ha, that'll show them not to have non-homosexual stuff on my show.

(Commercial… Where the fuck are all the matches?)

GP: Well, here we go for our next match.

Nikki: Jack Breaker will be taking on Jeff King.

GP: King is one half of the Suicide Kings.

Nikki: Yep. Breaker is one half of the Deadly Sins.

JT: Yep. I bet this match is going to be boring.

GP: Already you're complaining. What about predictions.

Nikki: I'm going with King.

JT: That means I'm going with Breaker.

GP: Lets go to the ring announcer.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The IWO is proud to present, this match with no significant stipulations, or even excitement. This match is set for one fall. Introducing first, JACK BREEEAAAAAAAKER!!!!!!!!!

(Jack Breaker comes to the ring)

JT: Yep. I'm putting my money on him in this one.

Nikki: No one asked you.

JT: Actually, I think Parker did.

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, JEFF KIIIINNNG!!!!

(Jeff King comes to the ring)

*DING DING DING*

GP: Here we go.

Nikki: The two men are squaring off. This should be a great match.

JT: Actually, it's going to be very boring. Horribly boring.

Nikki: So why don't you leave.

JT: I'm too tired. Is there a coffee vender around here?

GP: I don't think there is such a thing at an IWO event. You can find beer though.

JT: That'll make it worse. I need something to wake up.

Nikki: Breaker and King lock up. Breaker is pushing King into the corner.

JT: He hits some...zzzzZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

*SMACK*

JT: Thanks... he hits some knees to King's stomach area.

GP: He lets up. King is holding his stomach. He stumbles out of the corner and Breaker hits a bull dog.

Nikki: King is stumbling to his feet. Breaker throws him to the ropes and knocks him down with a huge clothesline.

JT: Breaker picks him up over his head. He slams him to the mat with a gorilla press slam! That looks like it hurt a lot.

GP: I can bet that it did.

Nikki: Breaker picks him up again and throws him into the corner! He reverses it and whips Jack into the corner. King runs at him and hits him with a clothesline. It looked like Breaker's head hit the metal post!

GP: Breaker comes out of the corner dazed. King runs him over with a clothesline. Jeff picks him up and kicks him in the chest. He hits a DDT! One, two, kick out!!!

Nikki: Both men are getting up. They tie up! Breaker kicks King in the stomach and suplexes him. Jack gets up and picks Jeff up again. He hits a snap suplex.

JT: King is lying on the mat. Breaker hits a leg drop! He pins him! One, two, kick out! Another kick out for King!

GP: Breaker looks to get getting frustrated.

Nikki: King is getting up. Breaker steps on his hand. That looks like it was very painful.

JT: Breaker picks him up by his hair. He picks him up and hits a scoop slam.

GP: Breaker picks him up again. He gets behind him. He hits a release german suplex.

Nikki: Damn. This is getting ugly.

JT: Jeff King is pushing himself up.

GP: Jack Breaker is putting Kign between his legs. He picks him up for a powerbomb. He can't get him up. He is holding Breaker's legs. Jeff King back drops Jack Breaker!

Nikki: He's now laying the boots into Jack! King has Breaker hooked! He gets a fisherman's suplex on the guy! One, tw... kick out!!!

JT: Breaker is getting up! King is rushing at him! Breaker ducks and flips him over the top rope to the floor! Breaker is leaning against the ropes. It looks like he's trying to catch his breathe. On the floor, Jeff is holding his arm. It looks like he may have hurt himself.

Nikki: Breaker is going to the outside. He grabs Jeff King and throws him into the steel steps shoulder first!!! The steps just flew off!

GP: They're right in front of us now! Breaker is setting him up for a powerbomb! He lifts him and powerbombs him through the announce table!!!!!!!!!

JT: God damn! I don't know what to say about that. It happened right in front of us. Breaker is pretty damn strong! He slammed King down like he was nothing!

Nikki: Breaker is back in the ring. He is sitting in the corner of the ring. It looks like he's trying to regain some of his momentum.

JT: Yeah. Beating the tar out of King must be a lot of work.

Nikki: King is actually getting up. He is crawling back into the ring.

GP: That was a hell of a bump he took.

JT: Jeff King slides back into the ring. Breaker is letting him get up.

GP: Jeff King is up! Breaker is going for a clothesline! King hits a drop toe hold! Breaker's down! Jeff has a crossface on Breaker!

Nikki: Phyre is trying to reach the ropes! He's too far away!

GP: Breaker is pulling himself towards the ropes!

JT: He reaches!!! Breaker reaches the ropes!!!

GP: Breaker is pulling himself up. King is rushing at him.

Nikki: Breaker hits King in the chest with an elbow. He wasn't ready for that!

GP: Breaker sets him up and hits a piledriver. He's going for the pin!

Nikki: One, two, three!!!

GP: It's all over. Jack Breaker wins!

Ring Announcer: The winner of the match, Jack Breaker!

JD: Again… Why am I not commentating?

AK: YEAH!

(Commercial.)

(Keri Lindum taps slightly on the door of Kent Anthason’s door. She steps inside to see Kent sitting there, head in his hands, crying.)

Keri Lindum: Something has to be done.

Kent Anthason: I agree.

Keri Lindum: Kent, I need your help. Julie is trying to split me and Joey apart, but Joey won’t believe it. She’s even trying to convince Joey that I’m on your side, and that I need to be done away with.

Kent Anthason: Here’s the plan. Stay as far away from Joey as you can. I need to sort things out with him, alright? If he approaches you, walk away.

Keri Lindum: Alright. But what are you going to do?

Kent Anthason: This might resort to violence, Keri. And I don’t want you getting caught in the middle of it. I told Alyssa to keep her distance.

Keri Lindum: Alright. I’ll stay away.

(Meanwhile, in Joey’s room. Julie attends to Joey.)

Julie Malone-Carson: Joey, I’m telling you. Kent is against you. And now you know.

Joey Malone: Yeah, he’s trying to tear us apart. Brother and sister. He’s wrecking our family. I even think he’s trying to pry away Keri from me.

Julie Malone-Carson: You HAVE to get rid of Kent Anthason. If you want Keri back.

Joey Malone: I have to talk to Keri, first. She might be a way to fix this thing.

Julie Malone-Carson: I wouldn’t recommend that…

Joey Malone: Why, not?

Julie Malone-Carson: Trust me, Joey. It’ll only turn out for the worse.

Joey Malone: It already is bad, Julie. It can’t get much worse.

(Fade back to the arena.)

GP - And we're back!

Nikki - Those IWO Black commentators really piss me off...

JT - I hear ya, Nikki! One of them was lookin' at my ass when I was bending over... I think it was that Jasmine hoe! She's one naughty women! I'm gonna go make casual conversation...

(JT walks over to the other announcers table, only to get slapped 5 ways from Sunday. JT walks back.)

JT - If only she would have slapped me just a little bit lower...

GP - Face it JT, I'VE had more women then you. And I lost my penis in 'Nam. Anyway, our next match is another round to the Gold & Glory tournament, between Schitzo Tod and Cyanide.

***DING DING***

Ring Announcer - This next match... is the first round, in the GOOOOLLLD AND GLLLLOOOORRRRY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUURRRRRNAMENT!!!!!!

(Loud pop*******)

Ring Announcer - Making his way to the rin-

(Suddenly, Mortimer Snerd, former IML commentator, hits the ring announcer with a chair. Everyone begins booing, since Mortimer is probably the worst announcer this side of Michael Cole. Mortimer's co-worker, Ziggy, the biggest ditz in the entire world, walks into the ring as well.)

MS - IT IS TIME.... FOR AN IML INVASION!!!

(Everyone boo's as unpopular IML wrestlers that nobody knew, from Clem Rocky to Zane Owens, walk out from the curtains. The crowd leaves to get refreshments.)

Ziggy - IT'S TIME TO ZIGGY ZIGGY ZZZZZZZIGGGGY!

MS - Shut up, women! Now listen IWO... IML was better then you! IWO sucks! IML rules! And that's the way its always-

(OH MY GOD!! The IWO announcers enter the ring!! AND THEY TAKE OUT MORTIMER SNERD AND ZIGGY!!! THIS IS INSANELY STUPID!!! GREG GRABS MORTIMER!!! PARK PLACE (Rock Bottom)!!!! NIKKI GRABS ZIGGY!! NIKKI NIKKI NNNIIKKIII (Hurric Anna)!!!! THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST THING EVER SEEN ON IWO TELEVISION!!! THE IML WRESTLERS RUN AWAY, WITH POOP IN THEIR PANTS!!!! THE ANNOUNCERS RETURN TO THE TABLES!!!)

GP - I am sooooooooo pumped!! YEEHAW!!

Nikki - We kicked some ass, Greg! *high fives Greg*

JT - And I sat here and watched it!

(Greg and Nikki are silent...)

JT - ... oh, screw you guys.

GP - Anyway, we do have an announcing job to uphold, so lets get this match underway!

(The Jett Jackson theme music plays as Schitzo Tod walks down to the ring. Tod is confused...)

Schitzo Tod - I'M NOT JETT!! NOR AM I FAMOUS! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS! WHYYYYYY!

(Suddenly, Cyanide jumps out from the crowd with his trio of supermodels and begins beating Tod down. The bell rings, and the match begins.)

GP - Cyanide nails Tod to the jaw! And those supermodels, along with Cyanide, are stomping on Tod's special area! Ouch! Stop this maddness! Stop!

JT - WAIT A MINUTE!! HERE COMES FORMER IML CHAMPION DARK WOLF!! HE ATTACKS ONE OF CYANIDES SUPERMODEL HO'S AND THROWS HER OVER HIS SHOULDIER!!

GP - Cyanide grabs Dark Wolf!! PILEDRIVER!! PILEDRIVER TO WOLF!! WOLF IS DEAD!!! CYANIDE JUST KILLED DARK WOLF!!

Nikki - Tod is back up!! Cyanide doesn't even know it!! Tod grabs one of those supermodels!! YES!! AN ENTIRE SUPERMODEL!!! AND HE SMACKS CYANIDE WITH HER!!! HERE'S THE PIN!!!

1... 2... 3!

Ring Announcer - YOUR WINNER, AND ADVANCING IN THE TOURNAMENT... SCHITZZZZZZOOOOO TOOOOOOOOD!!

GP - What a match!

JT - That was fast.

Nikki - Oh well! We'll be right back!

*commercial break*
KissMyCharm: GP - And we're back!

Nikki - Those IWO Black commentators really piss me off...

JT - I hear ya, Nikki! One of them was lookin' at my ass when I was bending over... I think it was that Jasmine hoe! She's one naughty women! I'm gonna go make casual conversation...

(JT walks over to the other announcers table, only to get slapped 5 ways from Sunday. JT walks back.)

JT - If only she would have slapped me just a little bit lower...

GP - Face it JT, I'VE had more women then you. And I lost my penis in 'Nam. Anyway, our next match is another round to the Gold & Glory tournament, between Schitzo Tod and Cyanide.

***DING DING***

Ring Announcer - This next match... is the first round, in the GOOOOLLLD AND GLLLLOOOORRRRY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUURRRRRNAMENT!!!!!!

(Loud pop*******)

Ring Announcer - Making his way to the rin-

(Suddenly, Mortimer Snerd, former IML commentator, hits the ring announcer with a chair. Everyone begins booing, since Mortimer is probably the worst announcer this side of Michael Cole. Mortimer's co-worker, Ziggy, the biggest ditz in the entire world, walks into the ring as well.)

MS - IT IS TIME.... FOR AN IML INVASION!!!

(Everyone boo's as unpopular IML wrestlers that nobody knew, from Clem Rocky to Zane Owens, walk out from the curtains. The crowd leaves to get refreshments.)

Ziggy - IT'S TIME TO ZIGGY ZIGGY ZZZZZZZIGGGGY!

MS - Shut up, women! Now listen IWO... IML was better then you! IWO sucks! IML rules! And that's the way its always-

(OH MY GOD!! The IWO announcers enter the ring!! AND THEY TAKE OUT MORTIMER SNERD AND ZIGGY!!! THIS IS INSANELY STUPID!!! GREG GRABS MORTIMER!!! PARK PLACE (Rock Bottom)!!!! NIKKI GRABS ZIGGY!! NIKKI NIKKI NNNIIKKIII (Hurric Anna)!!!! THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST THING EVER SEEN ON IWO TELEVISION!!! THE IML WRESTLERS RUN AWAY, WITH POOP IN THEIR PANTS!!!! THE ANNOUNCERS RETURN TO THE TABLES!!!)

GP - I am sooooooooo pumped!! YEEHAW!!

Nikki - We kicked some ass, Greg! *high fives Greg*

JT - And I sat here and watched it!

(Greg and Nikki are silent...)

JT - ... oh, screw you guys.

GP - Anyway, we do have an announcing job to uphold, so lets get this match underway!

(The Jett Jackson theme music plays as Schitzo Tod walks down to the ring. Tod is confused...)

Schitzo Tod - I'M NOT JETT!! NOR AM I FAMOUS! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS! WHYYYYYY!

(Suddenly, Cyanide jumps out from the crowd with his trio of supermodels and begins beating Tod down. The bell rings, and the match begins.)

GP - Cyanide nails Tod to the jaw! And those supermodels, along with Cyanide, are stomping on Tod's special area! Ouch! Stop this maddness! Stop!

JT - WAIT A MINUTE!! HERE COMES FORMER IML CHAMPION DARK WOLF!! HE ATTACKS ONE OF CYANIDES SUPERMODEL HO'S AND THROWS HER OVER HIS SHOULDIER!!

GP - Cyanide grabs Dark Wolf!! PILEDRIVER!! PILEDRIVER TO WOLF!! WOLF IS DEAD!!! CYANIDE JUST KILLED DARK WOLF!!

Nikki - Tod is back up!! Cyanide doesn't even know it!! Tod grabs one of those supermodels!! YES!! AN ENTIRE SUPERMODEL!!! AND HE SMACKS CYANIDE WITH HER!!! HERE'S THE PIN!!!

1... 2... 3!

Ring Announcer - YOUR WINNER, AND ADVANCING IN THE TOURNAMENT... SCHITZZZZZZOOOOO TOOOOOOOOD!!

GP - What a match!

JT - That was fast.

Nikki - Oh well! We'll be right back!

(Commercial.)

(We go backstage where Keri Lindum is heading toward the outside, as Joey Malone approaches her.)

Joey Malone: Keri, we need to talk.

(Keri turns her head, and walks the other way. She starts to head out the door but Malone puts his hand on her shoulder and twirls her around.)

Joey Malone: Keri, what’s wrong.. What’s going on?

Keri Lindum: Joey, I think you’re a bit out of hand. Julie has gotten to your brain. It’s either her, or me.

Joey Malone: You’re making me pick you or my sister?

Keri Lindum: Yes, Joey. She’s hit me. Kent told me to stay away from you, and I agree. You need time to plan what you’re going to do, by yourself.

(The words that Julie Malone-Carson said about Kent flash through his mind once again. "… And Kent… You’ve known Kent. He’s a liar, a cheat. He could manipulate you at any second, Joey, and take you for a ride. He’s doing it-")

Joey Malone: Keri, please, don’t go. We can sort things out!

Keri Lindum: Not with her, around.

(Keri runs off, as Joey tries to catch up, but fails as Keri jumps in her car. Joey turns around angrily and stalks back into the arena.)

(We fade into the backstage area, as we see Shawn Arrows and Ben Archer slowly walking into the arena. The crowd gives them both a mixed reaction.)

Ben Archer: What.. What do you have planned Shawn? Come on, let me in.

Shawn Arrows: Listen Ben, it'll be more of a shock. This could hurt both of us if it gets out, and I can't risk that. Just wait, and you'll know when the time comes.

Ben Archer: Come on Arrows!

Shawn Arrows: *holds up finger* In due time....

(Arrows leaves, as Archer stands dumbfounded at being "Shot down.")

GP - ... and we're back!

JT - Duh, lame ass. They know when we're back when they see your ugly mug on the television, making a excited Bozo the Clown face, like you have something to live for or something.

GP - :-( that was harsh.

Nikki - Poo on you, JT.

JT - The truth hurts. Anyway, our next match is between BJ Smith and Syphon Fission. Rumor has it that BJ Smith sucks, and Syphon Fission is a fucking former world Champion, and rumor also has it that I have a longer cock then a moose. Begin match.

("Something" by Somebody plays as Syphon Fission walks out to the ring, with a determined look on his face.)

GP - Look at Syphons determination! He is gonna go all the way in this!

("Polka Power" by Weird Al Yankovic plays as BJ Smith begins to walk out, but then ex-ETMU Neil leaps onto the steel ramp and does the macarena.)

Neil - Oh baby! ERRRIC YUUUUN! I GOT SOMETHING WAITING FOR YOU BACK AT MY HOTEL ROOM :-*

BJ Smith - AHHHHH!!

(BJ runs into the ring and lays down.)

BJ Smith - PIN ME PIN ME PIN ME PIN ME!!!

(Syphon covers BJ Smith. 1... 2... 3.)

Ring Announcer - Er, the winner of this match, AND ADVANCING IN THE G&G TOURNAMENT.... SYYYYYYYYYPHON FISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSION!!!

(BJ Smith frantically runs away as Neil chases him with a look of mischievious in his eyes.)

GP - Uhm, okay. What the fuck was that.

JT - This is why gay people shouldn't run MNM.

Nikki - Touche.

High Flyer *from another realm* - THATS MY WORD, BITCH!!!

Nikki - Oh, sorry.

GP - Ummm... we'll be back with more Monday Night Melton action, hopefully.

(Into the arena walks Team V.I.A.G.R.A., as the entire crowd gives a pop. High Flyer seems a little aggitated.)

Davis: Come on Flyer, please, just let me appologize.

Flyer: What do you mean? How can you not remember?

Davis: I can't remember a thing! It's like I'm drunk, but I don't get that enflated boost of self esteem!

Flyer: Fine... Davis, listen, I'll trust you as far as I can throw you...

(Flyer goes to try to throw Davis. Davis instead, goes with him and goes flying about five feet.)

Flyer: Hmmmm... Five Feet. Not bad.

(Flyer walks off, as Davis gets to his feet, walking out of view.)

(Commercial)

JT: Our next match should be an interesting one, after all of the things that have been happening between these two lately. Shawn Arrows, revealed to be the man thats turned Tony Davis into, well, more of a nutcase than he usually is, has to step into the ring with Davis' tag partner, High Flyer.

GP: The last time these two were in the ring against each other, High Flyer walked out with a seemingly easy win, this time, I've got a feeling things may be a bit different. Shawn Arrows has taken his game up a notch preparing to climb back up to the top of the ladder where he feels he belongs, and I think he may be able to put Flyer's shoulders on the mat for the three count here tonight.

Meygon: This next match, is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, from Greensboro, North Carolina. Weighing in at 234 pounds, and standing 6'3...Shawn..Arrows!!

["IronMan" by Black Sabbath begins to play throughout the arena as Shawn Arrows walks slowly to the ring, smiling as the crowd boos to their hearts content.]

Meygon: And his opponent, from Bethlehem, PA. Weighing in tonight at 204 pounds, and standing 6' even, he is..HIGH FLYER!!!

['Loco[Snow Edit]' by Coal Chamber plays throughout the arena as High Flyer rushes down. The crowd goes wild as they see him. He slides in the ring and pops up, immediatly getting into Arrows' face, and starting a shoving contest.]

GP: This match is off to a jump start, as these two men are shoving each other back and forth.

JT: Oh yea..really exciting this is.

Shallow: Flyer shoves Arrows, and Arrows comes back off the ropes. Arrows goes to shove Flyer, but changes his mind, and takes Flyer down with a clothesline.

GP: Arrows got the first real shot in, and he's laying boots into the back and head of Flyer.

JT: Arrows seems determined to come out on top this time. He's driving Flyer's head down onto the mat repeatedly with that foot.

Shallow: Arrows picks Flyer up, and swings him to the ropes. He catches him coming back with a knee to the gut, and drops a quick leg drop down onto the face of Flyer.

GP: Arrows grabs the leg, and pulls it up, and the referee drops down to make the count.

1..

JT: That was an easy kickout for Flyer, but I think it might have hurt his head a bit more, thanks to the position of Arrows' leg.

Shallow: Arrows pulls the leg back over, and he's going for another pin.

1..

GP: I don't know what Arrows is trying to do here. I know he doesn't actually think he can get a pinfall this quickly.

JT: I think he knows that. He just seems to be trying to wear High Flyer down.

Shallow: Arrows gets up, and he's pulling Flyer up. He just planted him with a right hand, and put him right back on the ground.

GP: Arrows lifts Flyer back up, and kicks him in the gut. Arrows hooks Flyer, and goes for a DDT, but Flyer's fighting it. He's trying to over power Arrows. And it seems to be working.

JT: Flyer's got Arrows up, and he just tossed him away with a released Northern Lights Suplex.

Shallow: Flyer picks Arrows up, and drives him down with a brainbuster.

JT: Finally, this match is starting to take more of a high impact road.

GP: Flyer picks up Arrows, and nails a quick DDT. I think he's trying to prove to Arrows that he truely is the better man here.

Shallow: Arrows doesn't seem to be taking to nicely to that DDT, as he's pushing himself up, and he's back to staring Flyer eye to eye. Arrows shoves Flyer..Flyer shoves Arrows.

JT: Stop the boredom!!!

GP: Arrows shoves Flyer back, and nails him with a leg sweep before he can regain his balance.

JT: Arrows has Flyer's leg locked, and he seems to be wrenching back on it, trying to wear him down.

GP: Flyer's trying to crawl towards the ropes to get away, but Arrows is pulling back towards the middle of the ring. Flyer can't get to the ropes, and Arrows is tearing that leg away from the rest of the body.

JT: Arrows is getting up, twisting on the knee, and he just dropped an elbow onto it. He pulls himself up again, but Flyer hops up onto one foot, and catches Arrows in the head with his free leg, sending him crashing face first into the ground.

Shallow: Arrows just dove face first into the ground, and Flyer seems to have gained the advantage. Flyer picks Arrows up, and swings him to the ropes. He catches him coming off..Sleeper!!!

JT: BORING!!!!!

GP: Arrows is falling, and Flyer's still wrenching that sleeper in. He's putting Arrows to sleep.

Shallow: It looks like the treatment Arrows gives people through his promos is now coming back to haunt him.

JT: Yea...Seriously. This is geat. Come on Arrows...go out like a light!!

GP: Arrows' promos are a slight bit boring, but thats because he concentrates on his matches, not trying to be funny. Right now, his concentration towards matches doesn't seem to be paying off.

Shallow: Arrows is down, and the referee's checking in on him. He raises his hand once..it falls. He raises it again, and Arrows locks ahold of Flyer's head.

GP: Arrows is fighting back to his feet, and he just dropped down. He just dropped Flyer's chin on his head, and Flyer's down as well!!

JT: Arrows falls back and hooks the leg, and he's going for another pinfall.

1..

2..

Shallow: High Flyer kicked out again. Arrows seems a bit ticked off. He gets up, and he pulls Arrows up to his knees. Kick to the head!

GP: Arrows goes back for the cover.

1..

2..

JT: And again High Flyer kicked out.

GP: Arrows is getting really pissed off at Flyer because he keeps kicking out, and now Arrows is kicking Flyer in the head, ramming his foot down his forehead.

Shallow: Arrows picks Flyer up and swings him to the ropes, he charges in. Clothesline!!

JT: Flyer's down in the corner, and now Arrows is using his foot to choke out Flyer.

Shallow: The referee is trying to warn Arrows to break the choke, but Arrows just flipped him off, and went back to choking.

GP: The referee just pulled Arrows away from High Flyer, and now Arrows is yelling at the referee. Flyer's getting time to pull himself back up, aqnd Arrows has his back turned. Arrows turns around, and Flyer catches him with a sleeper. Flyer drops down, and drops Arrows on his back.

Shallow: He's got him set up perfectly for a move off the top rope, and I think High Flyer knows it. He's going up to the top, and he's looking down at Arrows. Flyer leaps!!!

JT: FLYING MOON SHOT!!!

Shallow: He landed it!!! He landed it!!

GP: Flyer's going for the pin, but Archer's coming down the entrance ramp. Flyer doesn't see him, and Archer just pulled him out of the ring. Archer spins Flyer around. ArC!!!

JT: Archer rolls Flyer in the ring, and right at Arrows' feet!

Shallow: Arrows picks Flyer up. Arrows-Shot DDT!!! He makes the cover!

1

2..

3..

Shallow: Arrows walks away with the win tonight, thanks to Ben Archer, and Team VIAGRA once again gets shafter by Arrows and Archer.

(Commercial)

(the camera fades back in to a screaming IWO crowd.)

JS: Welcome back, Ladies and Gentlemen!! This next match is gonna show both Black and White wrestlers what this game is about!! DOOZER V. THE MYSTERIOUS ONE!!! It does NOT get any more heated then this! ?¿? comes back from his long retirement with a new unusual and quirkey style to take on the Man That Has 10 Nicknames for Every ONE of Nikes Foreign Child Slaves, the IWO's Extreme champion, DOOZER!! This could EASILY be one of the most controversial matches on the card. For one thing, someone went into Neils office earlier in the program and claimed that he was the real Mysterious One! I suspect a fake.

MR: Also, I noticed that it wasn't ?¿?'s normal style! The long, boring promo's he used to do have been shortened and humor was thrown into it!

AK: All I know is that it smells like fish in here. Who's been eating fish?

JS: I don't think anybody has, Ashkins. In a completely unrelated subject, Oprahs panties just arrived in the arena in a bulletproof titanium casing, so John Maples doesn't break into the case and haul them down to his masterbation quarters. Now that we got the runner up prize, it's time to start this match!!

("Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana plays as ?¿? stands at the curtains of the entrance. He starts making unusual cow noices on the microphone.)

?¿?: Can anybody guess what this farm animal is?!

(Everyone begins screaming "COW! COW! COW!". ?¿? grabs his weapon for tonights match, which happens to be...)

?¿?: ... THE SEVERED HEAD OF BOB SAGET!

(Yes! The head of Bob Saget! Returning to the Extreme ring yet again! Most people at the announcing team are disgusted.)

AK: WHY GOD! Why Saget! He was an inspiration to me as a child! He was the object of my masterbation! I remember those cold and lonely nights... when I would watch previously recorded footage of Full House... oh Saget, how you've-

JS: Enough about your sexual yearning of Bob Saget! ?¿? is awesome now!

?¿?: First the beheading of Saget!! NEXT, IT WILL BE YOU, COSBY!!! ALL CORNY TELEVISION STARS WILL FALL TO THE MYSTERY!! YOU WILL ALL MEET A MYSTERIOUS FATE-

MR: Oh lord! Doozer just snuck up and hit ?¿? in the back with a bag of Purina One dog chow! That is his weapons for tonights match! A BAG OF FREAKIN' DOG FOOD! HOW HARDCORE CAN YOU GET?!

JS: I've caughed up more hardcore shit then that!

AK: Doozer throws ?¿? over his shouldier and begins carrying him to the cage! He throws him in through the cage door! ?¿? tries to climb to his feet again! BUT DOOZER SLAMS THE CAGE DOOR ONTO ?¿?'S HEAD! THAT MASK JUST CRACKED!! Alright, this AIN'T the real ?¿?!! ?¿? WOULDN'T WEAR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP ?¿? HALLOWEEN MASKS MADE OUT OF CHINESE PUBIC HAIR!!

JS: Doozer throws tacs all over the ring! HE LIFTS UP ?¿?!! BOOM!! POWERBOMB ONTO THOSE TACS!!! ?¿? is wincing in pain!!

AK: Doozer is gonna use the cage to his advantage now. He lifts up ?¿?'s head. And he smacks it into the cage wall! ?¿? falls to the ground, out cold! Doozer places ?¿?'s head in the door! HE SLAMS THAT DOOR SHUT WITH ?¿?'S HEAD STILL IN IT!!

MR: Doozer re-alligns ?¿?'s head!! AND HE SLAMS THAT DOOR AGAIN INTO THE MASK OF ?¿?!!

JS: ?¿? is out of it! There is something wrong here! He's not fighting back! What the hell is he doing?! Throwing the fight?!

AK: Doozer lifts up ?¿?!! BUT ?¿? SNEAKS IN A QUICK LOW BLOW!! DOOZER IS DOWN!! AND ?¿? IS CLIMBING UP THE CAGE!!!

JS: ?¿? looks like he's running from Doozer!! What the hell is going on?!

AK: Doozer is back on his feet! And begins climbing after ?¿?, with bag of dog food in hand! Doozer and ?¿? are both halfway to the top of that cage! DOOZER SLAMS ?¿?'S HEAD AGAINST THE CAGE MESH WALL!! AND ?¿? FLIES OFF THE CAGE AND LANDS ON HIS HEAD ON THE RING BELOW!! ?¿? could have permanent neck damage! STOP THIS SHIT! NOW!

MR: Hehehehehehe! YES! CRIPPLE THAT BASTARD! I hate him!

JS: Wait a minute... a ducks webbed foot just busted from the boots of ?¿?!! What could this mean?!

MR: DOOZER LEAPS OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!! AND LANDS ONTO ?¿?!!! A THREE FLIPPED MOONSAULT TO ?¿?!!! BOTH MEN ARE OUT!!!!

JS: That was insane!! Both men are out!!

?¿?: IIIII... can't.... move.... must..... reveal... true.... IDENTITY!!! KAW!!!

MR: OH MY GOD!!! THE ?¿? MASK FLIES OFF!!! AND IT'S... WHAT THE FUCK?!

Richard Nixon: Habababababa. I am not a crook! *slaps himself* KAW DAMN IT!!! WHY'D I HAVE TO DOUBLE MASK?!

(Richard Nixon rips off his face!! IT'S....)

MR: THE MYSTERIOUS BIRDMAN!!! THAT DUMB ASS!!!

0¿0: KAW DE KAW KAW! I'M BACK, AND GAHHH-

JS: Doozer hits 0¿0 with a bag of dog food!! 0¿0 falls off his feet!! Doozer covers!!!

1.... 2.... KICKOUT!

JS: Damn it! How the hell did he manage that?!

MR: Doozer sets up 0¿0 for a Doozer-bomb!!! DOOZER-BOMB!!! DOOZER-BOMB TO 0¿0!!! Doozer pins!

1..... 2..... THHHR- kickout!

MR: Damn it! Another kickout by 0¿0!! Doozer throws tacs all over the ring this time!!! HE SETS 0¿0 UP FOR ANOTHER DOOZER-BOMB!!! AND BAM SHIZZAM!! ANOTHER DOOZER-BOMB TO 0¿0!!! ANOTHER PIN!!!

1....2.... THHR- KICKOUT!!

JS: THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!! How does he do that?!

MR: 0¿0 is a jackass, a moron, a fuckhead and above all a wife beater... but he is hardcore. That's why he's here at IWO.

AK: Doozer looks a little shocked. Kicking out of TWO Doozer-bombs!

JS: Doozer spreads dog kibble over the ring!! HE SETS IT ON FIRE!!! HOLY SHIT DOG CHOW IS FLAMMABLE!! Dooz grabs the motionless 0¿0!! Another Doozer-bomb!! AND ANOTHER!! AND ANOTHER!!! THREE MORE DOOZERBOMBS IN A ROW!! HOW MUCH MORE CAN HE TAKE?!?!

AK: DOOZER GOES FOR A COVER!!! BUT WAIT!!! A CHAIR JUST FELL FROM THE TOP OF THE ARENA AND SMACKED DOOZER IN THE FACE!!! DOOZER FALLS INTO THE FLAMES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! DOOZER IS ON FIRE!!!

MR: 0¿0 ROLLS OVER ON TOP OF DOOZER!!! A PIN!!

1....2....3!!

*DING DING DING*

Winner, and NEW Extreme Champ: "The Mysterious Birdman" 0¿0

JS: Holy shit!! 0¿0 WINS IT FOR A SECOND TIME!!

0¿0: KAW... DOOZER... EVIL ALWAYS WINS!! MUWAKEKEKEKEKEKE!!

JS: Wait a minute... THOSE BALLONS ARE FALLING TO THE RING!! THOSE DEADLY BALLOONS WE'VE SEEN IN MYSTERY DEATH MATCHES IN THE PAST!!! THEY'RE EXPLODING FLAMING TACS!! DOOZER SMACKS 0¿0 WITH THE EXTREME TITLE!!! 0¿0 AND THE EXTREME TITLE ARE TRAPPED IN THAT CAGE!! DOOZER LOCKS THE CAGE DOORS... 0¿0 IS TRAPPED!! Doozer runs to the locker rooms, pissed, as El Bastardo Loco breaks threw the door and saves THE EXTREME TITLE, then goes back in and saves 0¿0!

0¿0 *as he lays on the concreat floor, with burns all over his body*: Kawwwwww.... KAW KAW KAW!!! I AM THE ETMU!!! I WILL NOT TAKE THIS SHABBY TREATMENT!!! AS OF NOW, I PLACE MYSELF IN A THREE MATCH SERIES... THREE EXTREME TITLE MATCHES IN A ROW!!! GOLD & GLORY!!! IT'S 0¿0 v. THAT JOBBER COLIN GEAR.. IN A FIELD OF DAISIES MATCH!! TAKES PLACE IN A FIELD OF DAISIES.... FIRST MAN TO FIND THE EXTREME TITLE SOMEWHERE IN THE FIELD OF DAISIES WINS!!! 0¿0 V. IWO BLACK REGECT ASH ROBINSON, IN A LITTLE RED RIDING YO MAMA MATCH (RULES TO BE ANNOUNCED).... KEKEKEKEKE... HE SHALL BE AN EASY NIPPLE TO PLUCK!!! AND FINALLY, YOUR REMATCH, 0¿0 v. DOOZER.... IN A MYSTERY BIRDCAGE MATCH!!! AND ANOTHER THING!!! FOR NOW ON THERE WILL BE AN EXTREME TITLE MATCH EVERY CARD!!!! KAW!!! NOW IT'S TIME TO CONTINUE MY STATE OF UNCONCIOUSNESS!!! *keels over*

AK: Holy crap! He wants to be a fighting champion, odviously...

JS: That was certainly an interesting match! But we got more IWO entertainment on the way, so stay tuned!

(Cut to commercial break.)

JT: Finally the main event.

GP: That's right. JT is correct for some reason...he probably didn't mean
to. But The main event is coming up right now. We have some of the biggest
stars in the IWO fighting it out in a "Thrilla in Manillia" Match!

JT: YEAH!! LET'S GO ALI!!

Nikki: Wha?

JT: Ali vs Frasier, in Afrika right?

*SMACK*

Nikki: You're an idoit.

JT: *while rubbing his cheek* Oww!

GP: Actually...he has a point.

Nikki: He does?

JT: I do?!?!

GP: Yeah, that was the name given to the match when Ali fought in Afrika or
whatever. I really don't see how this relates to wrestling.

JT: Well what do ya know.

Nikki: I guess I'm sorry then.

JT: Sorry don't cut it. *begins to unzip his pant* You're gonna have to...

*SMACK* *SMACK*

GP: Nice backhand Nikki.

Nikki: Thank you :)

GP: Anyway, the rules for this match are...well it's fought in the Bronx
Zoo.

JT: Why the Bronx Zoo?

GP: I dunno, it just is. And somehow all the people involved in this match
have been taken to the Bronx Zoo. Even those you fought earlier tonight.

Nikki: Isn't that impossible?

GP: Yes, but realism isn't one of IWO's strong points.

JT: Hey, uhmm...correct me if I'm wrong but isn't DPS Man(also known as
Bill) dead?

GP: Yes he died right before our eyes.

JT: What is he doing on the card?

GP: That's...odd, but I guess if it's on the card, it has to happen. Enought
small talk, we have cameras all over the Bronx Zoo already set up, and the
wrestlers are already there awaiting. By the way the wrestlers in this match
are:

Cyanide
Sabastian Crow
Schitzo Tod
BJ Smith
the currently deaceased DPS Man(Also Known as Bob)
Jeff King
Jack Breaker
and...

Nikki: What is it GP? Who's the next guy?

GP: I don't know...I'm gonna assume Syphon Fission.

JT: But he's in the back?

GP: Oh fuck all this, let's start this thing already

[ The view cuts to the Bronx Zoo, where all the wrestlers are awaiting the
begining of the match, they are all currently at the ticket booth to the
Bronx zoo. Crow and Cyanide match up, as does Tod and Smith and King with
Breaker. ]

...

GP: Wheres the bell?

JT: Since when are there bells in a zoo stupid.

GP: ...oh yeah.

[ The ref smacks a cow in the ass... ]

*MOOOOO*

GP: I guess the match begins!

[ King charges at Breaker with clothesline, but Jack ducks it, and grabs him
in a sleeper. King elbows his way out of it, and shoves Jack aside.
Meanwhile Crow and Cyanide lock up Crow wins the lock up and strikes with a
knee to the gut of Cyanide. ]

JT: He kneed him in the abs!

GP: He has Cyanide in positions for a high impact move, but he really should
look out for the other wrestlers.

[ Schitzo Tod, sneaks up behind Crow. Just as Crow is trying to lift up
Cyanide, Tod nails him in the testicles with a nasty mule kick. Crow's eye's
go wide in pain, then he collapses to the ground. ]

JT: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Right in the nutz!

GP: Nuts with a 'z'? What are you a "hip hopper" now JT?

JT: Shut up!

GP: Heh heh. Anyway, Schitzo Tod is pretty pleased with what he has done.

Nikki: I'd say. He's dancing like a maniac.

[ Schitzo Tod does a Deion Sanders touchdown dance, then high jacks a lama
at gun point!...well he just put his fingers in the form of a gun, but the
lama was so afraid of getting jacked, he didn't talk back. Schitzo Tod then
rides the lama out of the Zoo, and disappears across the horizion, with
confused wrestlers and zoo goers looking on. ]

JT: What the fuck?

Nikki: Does this mean he's eliminated?

GP: We'll have to check with the ref with that one.

[ The camera then focuses on the ref at the zoo, who is stupified by what
Schitzo Tod has done. ]

Ref: Ah...fine he's out!

Elminated: Schitzo Tod

GP: We're down to seven people, but one of them doesn't know they're
supposed to be in this match, and the other one is rotting in hell. This
should be interesting.

[ Crow still seems a bit hurt from the kick to the gonads, administered by
Schitzo Tod, and is slow to his feet. Cyanide takes advatage, and gives him
a standing leg drop sending him face first into the ground. ]

GP: Cyanide's on the offensive!

[ Cyanide pulls Sabastian Crow to his feet, and puts him in a standing head
sissor. Cyanide then grabs Crow by the tights and falls backwards, slamming
Crow's head into the ground. ]

GP: Nice Pulling Piledriver by Cyanide.

JT: And he's still attacking him! HAHAHAHA!! KILL HIM!

Nikki: Ah...JT?

JT: What?

Nikki: Aren't you the "heel" annoucer?

JT: ...True. LET'S GO CROW!!

GP: I'm sure he heard that, being that he's ALL THE WAY IN THE BRONX ZOO
DUMBASS!

JT: So. Sound can travel.

Nikki: What the hell is BJ Smith doing?

[ BJ Smith ducked out of the fighting, and is out of site for the time
being. ]

GP: That's odd.

[ Jack Breaker and Jeff King are still brawling by the ticket booth. Jeff
lands a hard right hand to Jack's jaw, then takes him down with a snapmare.
Jeff stomps down on Jack a few times, then rips him to his feet. Jeff Irish
whips Jack Breaker through the swinging turn style thingys of the ticket
booth, and runs in after him. ]

GP: Jeff is looking to follow up his whip with a bulldog! Wait! Jack held
onto the turn style,a nd swing around! Jeff missed him! Jack swings right
around and sends Jeff King flying with a drop kick to the back! They have
just entered the Zoo!

JT: That was a new move. Cyanide is still beating the living hell out of
Crow. Cyanide again puts Crow in a standing head sissors, and lifts him onto
his shoulders. He's going for a Razors Edge!

GP: You mean "Outsiders Edge".

JT: What ever. Either way, Crows neck is gonna be fucked up! Wait! Crow
slide down Cyanide's back! Crow takes Cyanide down with a revese DDT from
behind!

GP: Nice move. But Cyanide pops right back up to his feet. Crow and Cyanide
are exchanging punches. Meanwhile Jeff King and Jack Breaker are still
duking it out just inside of the Zoo. And BJ Smith...well I haven't the
slightest clue where he went.

Nikki: There he is! And he's carrying a hand full of...Moutian Dew?

[ BJ Smith walks over to were the other 4 men are fighitng, with his hands
full of Moutian Dew. ]

JT: What's he saying?

GP: I don't know. Let's go to a mic in the zoo.

[ The auido cuts to a match, which just so happens to be around BJ Smith,
and could hear Greg tell it to listen in on what he's saying. ]

BJ Smith: HEY GUYS!! THIRSTY?

Cyanide: Why yes I am.

Sabastian Crow: Hey, get back here.

Jeff King: Oh shut up you big meaniehead. Pass me a soda!

Jack Breaker: Me too!

BJ Smith: COMIN' UP!

[ BJ Smith tosses everyone one, a can of soda. ]

GP: Well I...guess we're on a soda break.

JT: Awww! There's nothing violent about soda :(

GP: Stop pouting JT.

JT: I'm not pouting :(

Nikki: Oh, that's so sweet. BJ Smith, stopped to give everyone a drink. He's
such a great guy. I love BJ. I really REALL LOVE BJ!

JT: Giving BJ's or reciving BJ's

*SMACK*

Nikki: How could I reicive a BJ?

JT: I dunno. Let's find out.

[ JT then burries his head in Nikki's lap. ]

Nikki: GET OFF OF...well on second thought...

GP: Oh Jesus Christ!! Com'on guys, no oral sex on the card.

Nikki: *while panting heavily* Just.......a....second.

GP: Oh geez.

[ We go back to BJ Smith, and the rest with their cans of Mountain Dew. ]

GP: Well it looks like they're gonna enjoy their little break.

[ Cyanide, Crow, Jack Breaker, and Jeff King open up their Moutian Dew cans,
and the EXPLODE INAND FIZZ IN THEIR FACE!! Did that really deserve to be in
all cap? WHO CARES! ]

BJ Smith: HAHAHAHA!!

GP: BJ Smith fooled them all!! They are blinded with Moutian Dew fizz!
JT...JT STOP THAT!

Nikki: *close to climaxing* One.........more............sec....ond!!

GP: You've reached a new low Nikki. Cyanide, Sabastian Crow, Jack Breaker,
and Jeff King, are all staggering blinded by Moutain Dew. BJ Smith takes
advantage! HE HAS A PEPSI CAN IN HIS HAND!

*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*
*CRACK*

GP: BJ SMITH JUST WIPED OUT ALL THE WRESTLERS IN THIS MATCH WITH A PEPSI
CAN! HE PILES THEM UP! HE COULD WIN THIS WITH ONE PIN!

[ BJ Smith jumps on top of the pile of laid out wrestler, and tells the ref
to count. ]

1...

Kick out by all!

[ BJ Smith is thrown 10 feet away. ]

GP: They kicked out. Did BJ Smith really think a Pepsi can could put down
these four men?...huh Nikki?

Nikki: OOOOH!1

GP: NIKKI! YOU'RE ON TV!!

Nikki: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!! ....AHHHHHH!!

[ JT pulls his head back out of Nikki's crotch. ]

GP: I'm disgusted!!!!

Nikki: *in a relieved tone of voice, while smoking a cigerette* That's
exactly what I needed.

JT: Hey that's odd? I burried my tounge as far down as I could, but I
couldn't find a penis?

GP: ...

Nikki: ...

JT: What?

GP: Ah...we're gonna go one with this match, as if that disturbing statment
hadn't taken place. Jeff King and Jack Breaker take off inside of the Zoo.
Crow and Cyanide do the same. BJ Smith is once again left alone. Jeff King
and Jack Breaker are headed toward the aquirium(sp?), and Crow and Cyanide
are headed toward the Safarri.

JT: Where's the other two?

GP: I don't know...wait hold on *picks up a cell phone*
Hello?......ok.....huh uh....alright then I'll tell them....bye.*hangs up*

Nikki: Who was that?

GP: The boys upstairs, they say Syphon Fission is on his way, and their
digging up the body of DPS Man(also known as Bob) as we speak.

Nikki: That's sick.

GP: Like what you and JT were doing just a second ago wasn't?

Nikki: I didn't see it that way.

[ The IWO-Tron flickers on and we see several men in white suits, digging up
DPS Man(also known as Bob). ]

Digger#1: Geez, why are we doing this?

Digger#2: He's on the card, so whether he has a pulse or not, he has to
fight.

[ They continue to dig up his grave. ]

GP: This is really...wrong. Anyway, Syphon Fission is headed toward the
Bronx via bullet train. Don't ask how, or why.

JT: I won't. Jack Breaker and Jeff King are going at it in the aquirium.
Jeff King rushes at Jack Breaker, and turns him inside out with a
clothesline. Jeff King then follows that up, with a standing flip splash. He
lifts up Jack Breaker and whips Jack into a fiber glass window where people
can see the whales and sharks and shit. Jeff King then locks in a Cobra
clutch on Jack, useing the glass to suffocate him!! COOL!!

GP: What the hell is Jack Breaker doing now?

[ Jack Breaker uses the a free hand, and taps on the glass rapidly. ]

JT: What is he doing? He'll get choked out, if he doesn't fight out of this
hold.

GP: I think I know what he's doing. Taping pisses the hell out of the fish
in the tank. If he keeps tapping the glass maybe a shark will distract Jeff
King or something?

[ Jack Breaker keeps tapping. A killer whale becomes irrated at this and
charges the glass!]

GP: Shamo is charging the fucking glass!! THE KILLER WHALE JUST BUSTED THE
GLASS OPEN!! WATER AND FISH FLOOD THE WHOLE PLACE!! JEFF KING HAS TO LET GO!
THAT WAS PURE GENIOUS ON JACK BREAKER'S PART!

JT: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! There's fish all over the place!

GP: Jack Breaker has a trout in his hands!

JT: Oh, Jack's a bad man when he gets himself a fish.

GP: That made no sense, but ok. Jeff King is burried under a swordfish, and
Jack Breaker has two Trouts in his hands! He's doing that ninja nunchuck
thing with them. Jeff King is in for a world of pain.

[ Jack Breaker advances on him, and begins beating the hell out of Jeff King
with the trout in his hands. The view cuts to Cyanide and Sabastian Crow
fighting in the drive through Safari. Cyanide and Crow lock up, while cars
honk their horns at them, and swerve not to hit them. ]

Driver: Out of the way idiots!!

[ Crow pauses a second to flip the driver the middle finger, and Cyanide
grabs him in a Half-Neslon from behind. Crow struggles to get free. Cyanide
then dumps him over in a Head-Arm Suplex. Cyanide pulls Crow to his feet,
but Crow is able to shove him off. Crow gets back to his feet, but Cyanide
catches him with a elbow to the face. ]

GP: Cyanide and Crow are still brawling in the Safari! Crow recovers from
Cyanide's elbow smash, and strikes back, by slamming Cyanide's face into the
hood of a car. The driver seems pissed off.

Driver: DIDN'T I TELL YOU PRICKS TO FUCK OFF!!

JT: He just cussed out Sabastian Crow! HAHAHAH!!

GP: Crow goes over to the driver side window, and pulls the driver out of
his seat! Right in fron of his kids too! Crow's reaching into the car! He
pulled out "The Club"!! CROW GOES OVER TO CYANIDE, SAFTY CLUB IN HAND!!
HE'S GONNA BASH HIM UP WITH THAT THING!! NO! CYANIDE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!
AND CROW BASHES IN THE CARS HOOD! BUT CROW FOLLOWS UP, AND SMASHES THE CLUB
ON CYANIDE'S BACK! CYANIDE GOES DOWN!

JT: Crow then flips him over on his stomach, and locks in a camel clutch
using the club to lock it in. Cyanide's gonna have to tap out!! HAHA!!

GP: What are you Nelson? "HA HA"? Forget it. The ref is over to the site.
He's checking to see if Cyanide wants to tap. Cyanides refusing!! He's
saying something about drowning, Baywatch, and not to go swimming after you
eat.

[ Crow cracks up the hold, but ONE OF THE DEER ON THE SAFARI HEAD HIS WAY!!
THE DEER BASHES INTO CROW'S RIBS!! HE BREAKS THE HOLD!! Wow. Safed by a
dear. Cyanide gets back up, and pulls Crow to his feet. Cyanide gives Crow a
devastating Gutwretch Powerbowb! Crow is grabbing his back in pain. Cyanide
picks Crow up again, and he lifts Crow up to his feet. Cyanide grapples
Sabastain Crow, then lifts him up vertically in the air. Cyanide holds it
like that for a few seconds... ]

JT: What a show off.

[ Then Cyanide slams him down belly first onto the concrete! ]

GP: Hey, that's K-Kwik's move!!

JT: K who?

GP: ...Forget it. Cyanide's not done yet. Cyanide climbs on top of a
car...he's on the hood! HE'S CALLING FOR HIS FINISHER!! CYANIDE LEAPS OFF
AND LANDS THE LIFESAVER(frog splash) ON TOP OF CROW!! THIS HAS TO BE OVER.

JT: Hey, I wonder what the deer was running away from?

[ Just as Cyanide is about to cover, we find out. A pack of ravenous lions,
devour the referee. ]

GP: THE REF'S BEEN EATEN!!

JT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Nikki: How can you laugh at that?

JT: Like this...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

GP: Cyanide doesn't notice yet.

[ Cyanide is still covering, and doesn't notice that the lion's are circling
him. ]

Cyanide: What the heck is going on here?

[ Cyanide looks up and finally sees the lions. ]

GP: That's not good.

[ Cyanide takes off, as does Crow who just recovered to his feet, and run
the opposite direction, with the lions nipping at their heels. ]

GP: Oh man. This isn't gonna be good.

JT: Why's the IWO-Tron flickering again?

[ The IWO-Tron goes on again. And we see a bus carrying the coffin of DBS
Man(also known as Bob), and Syphon Fission. The bus rumbles right into the
Zoo busting through the entrance. The door opens, and someone tosses DPS
Man(also known as Bob)'s corpse out of it as Sypho...no Harold Hash hops
out. ]

GP: What's Harold Harsh doing out here?

JT: I guess he took Fission's place.

GP: I can't believe, they actually dragged the dead body of DPS Man(also
known as Bob) to the Zoo. It is a low day in IWO history.

JT: Oh, we've done worst. Anyway Harold Hash jumps the turn style and heads
inside the Zoo looking for other wrestlers. And DPS Man(also known as Bob)'s
body rolls lifelessly into the Zoo. This is kinda fucked up. HAHAHAHAHA!!

GP: Well Hash heads over to the monkey exhibit, where BJ Smith as been all
this time.

[ Camera's cut to the monkey exhibit. ]

BJ Smith: Ah...monkeys. Monkeys are good.

Monkey: Oh oh AH AH OH!!

BJ Smith: You said it buddy.

Harold Hash: Hey, are you in this ma...what in the name of...

BJ Smith: What? You don't like monkeys?

[ BJ Smith charges at Hash, and nails him with a mean knee lift to the gut.
Hash doubles over in pain. BJ Smith then gives him a fame-ass-er! ]

GP: HE GAVE HIM A FAME-ASS-ER!! HASH COULD BE OUT OF THIS!

[ BJ covers ]

1...

2...

No kick out!

JT: Hash is up!

Nikki: I haven't said anything in a while.

GP: That was random. But anyway, Hash is up to his feet. BJ Smith swings for
his head, but Hash ducks, and grapples BJ Smith. Hash puts BJ Smith in a
front face lock, and gives him a Front Suplex, slamming him down on his
belly. BJ Smith scrambles back to his feet, but Hash stays on the attack,
running at BJ and taking him down with a running Hurricanrana!

JT: Hash has BJ Smith right where he wants him! Hash puts BJ Smith in a
standing head sissors, nad lifts up up in powerbomb position...wait! BJ
Smith turns it into a Hurricanrana! BJ Smith starts the stomp the shit outta
Hash!! Hash can't take this assult! He might get stomped to death!

GP: Wait a second...Hash reaches back...HE PULLS OUT A MONKEY FROM WITH IN
THE CAGE!! THE BARS ARE TOO WIDE APART!! HE JUST CLOACKED BJ SMITH WITH A
MONKEY!! THIS IS INSANE!! HE TAKES ANOTHER MONKEY AND THROWS IT AT BJ!! BJ
NOW WITH A MONKEY!! THEY ARE DEULING WITH MONKEY'S! THE MONKEY'S ARE GETTING
PISSED OFF!!

JT: Please. What are monkeys gonna do.

[ As if they heard JT, and wanted to meet the challenge, they pull out Roman
Candles out of their ASS!! THE LIGHT THE ROMAN CANDLES AND START SHOOTING AT
HASH AND BJ SMITH!! ]

Nikki: Where the fuck is the realism in this match?

GP: I have no idea! But those monkeys are on the rampage. They're shooting
off their Roman candles, which...they....got.......somehow, and are
successfully taking down Hash and BJ Smith. How are the primates leading
such a calulated attack?

JT: Well...you ever seen planet of the apes?

GP: Shut up. Hash and BJ Smith are getting the hell out of here, and monkeys
are chasing after them!

JT: Here comes Cyanide and Crow being chased by a pack of lions!

GP: And somehow a school of sharks have escaped their tanks, and are chasing
after Jeff King and Jack Breaker, using their fins as legs! Look at them go!

[ Jeff King, Jack Breaker, Cyanide, Crow, BJ Smith, and Harold Hash all
being chased by monkeys armed with Roman candle(a tube like firecracker,
that shoots out flamming balls), sharks running on their fins, and a pack of
lions which already killed an IWO ref. The all head toward the exit of the
Zoo. ]

GP: They're getting the fuck out of there! and fast! There are almost
out...WAIT!! THEY TRIPPED OVER DPS MAN(ALSO KNOWN AS BOB)'S DEAD BODY!! THEY
DIDN'T SEE IT THERE!! THEY ARE TRIP UP AND FALL DOWN!! THE WIND BLOWS DPS
MAN(ALSO KNOWN AS BOB) ON TOP OF ALL OF THEM!! HE COULD WIN THIS!!

1...
2...
THE...NO!! KICK OUT BY ALL OF THEM!

JT: Dude. I feel sorry for someone who can't kick out, from a dead body.

GP: Well they are surrounded by walking sharks, monkeys with Roman candles
and lions. Everyone is up...besides DPS Man(also known as Bob), theya re all
circling eachother. WHO'S GONNA WIN!!

[ Suddenly, Harold Hash takes off his Harold Hash mask.. HEY! IT’S SYPHON FISSION! SYPHON FISSION! HE DOES SOMETHING! 1… 2… 3… HE WINS! SYPHON RULES!!!!!!!! ]

(We go backstage where Joey Malone catches Kent Anthason, also making his way to his car, getting ready to go home. Kent doesn’t see Malone duck behind a crate. Joey grabs a large metal pipe, then goes behind Kent quickly, and slams it on his shoulder. Kent instantly falls to the ground, clutching himself. Joey points the pipe at Kent.)

Joey Malone: KENT ANTHASON, how could YOU do this? You’re trying to get me away from Julie, and NOW you’re brainwashing Keri into breaking up with me? YOU ARE THE SADDEST MAN ALIVE.

(Joey thwacks him in the side, once again. Kent curls up into a ball.)

Joey Malone: I SHOULD KILL YOU, Kent. I should take you apart. I should break BOTH of your shoulders. And then LAUGH about it. But I’m nice Kent. I’ve always been a nice guy. But you seem to lack those virtues.

(Joey nails Kent in the ribs once again.)

Joey Malone: I SHOULD KILL YOU.

(Joey drops the pipe on the ground, and walks off. Kent is trying to get himself together as he lies on the floor. We zoom over by the door way and see Julie Malone-Carson staring, at what Joey has done.)

Julie Malone-Carson: Good, it’s working. He’ll be done with both of them, very soon. They’ll BOTH out of my way… And, then. It’ll be smooth sailing… All family business…

(Fade.)