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IWO MONDAY NIGHT
MELTDOWN
The Night Of The Gimmicks


(A heartbeat. The IWO symbol. Another heartbeat... the IWO symbol. A
conjunction of sight and sound... it's alive. It's moving. The revolution
continues with a heartiness, a burning fire at it's heart. The world can turn
and change... but the IWO will always be there. Another heartbeat... and the
IWO symbol, blue, dark, a shield... flashes to darkness with a loud crack of
thunder. It's different from before... it's a new age for the IWO. The new
generation has a new opening.)


"My Only Enemy" by American Hi-Fi


(Words on a screen. In the middle is two words -- "Gimmick" and "Match".
They're small, tiny, seperated... but moving closer to one another. As they
get closer to each other, the clear white of them stains to red... and more
words fade in and clash into view. "Trick or Treat". "Mystery Death Match."
"Meat Locker Match". "Arizona Firewater Match". "Bat Deathmatch". "Graveyard

To Hell". "Hardcore Royal". These words continue, continue... and finally,
with a bright white flash, they disappear... and as the brightness falls to
darkness, we see a few have remained around the core two words. "Dueling
Tables", "Scaffold Match", "Steel Cage", "Submission", "Exploding Chairs",
"'Real Heel' Match", "Studio Match", and "Loser Leaves Town". They fade
away... they are tonight's matches, tonight's wars to be waged.)

(The music begins... Mall Brawl I is a still-shot masterpiece. Shaggy 2 Dope,
Ken War, CyberCyclone... they battle, wage the war for things that almost
never should be touched... like pure gold. As Shaggy takes out his own
partner and becomes the champion... the film fades to a negative print, and
goes from view.)

(Utter Obliteration 1999. The first Utter Obliteration match... Shaggy 2 Dope
vs. Dark Wolf, for the then-Cruiserweight Title. The most brutal, intense
match in IWO history... Titan vs. ?¬Ņ? for the IWO World Heavyweight
Championship, where the only way to win was spill your opponent's blood until
they could not continue any further. The ambulance... the
nearly-career-ending hurricanrana that left Titan out of the IWO for the
first of MANY times...)

I don't ever try
to keep the love alive
I've found the frequency
you sucked it out of me
I'm not the only one
to hold a smoking gun
you felt the gravity
you think you're finally free

(Ice Age I. Triple Threat TV Title "No Rules" match. Jack In The Box, Myth,
and Sane. The sleeper match of the original superevent. Clips of JitB jumping
from 30 feet up and taking out Myth through two tables, Myth pushing Sane off
the same stage that Jack had flown off of to take out Myth in what would be
later in the match at the moment being shown, Myth hitting The Jack, then
going for another one and getting his own finisher placed on him -- courtesy
of Jack In The Box -- just seconds prior to Jack becoming the first IWO
Television Champion. In a second after the pin, it's gone.)

i don't even know
which way it oughta go
get out before you drown
before they bring us down
it's all inside of me
my only enemy
you sucked it out of me
you fucked it outta me

(Desperate Measures 1999. Inferno. Ken War. The US Title -- a Triple Threat
Theatre Gimmicks match, involving cages and razorwire. The most brutal
moments, from the electric shocks they recieved in match one to the explosion
to end it at the end of match three are clipped together in less than fifteen
seconds. They're taken over by the "I Quit" match... Zombie... and the
Vietnam Veteran. Going from the arena to an under-construction building...
Katie Maquire kicking ?¬Ņ? and ¬ßa‚Ä an in their respective crotches... and
the
screwjob finish that left Zombie as #1 contender.)

watch the world turn on
watch the world turn on
watch the world turn on
my only enemy

(Beach Party 1. The wars that were waged... Ashton Cain facing six other
men... ?¬Ņ? and Ken War going at it for the Pacific Title... Phelen Kell
tearing down Zombie and vice versa, and the Kamikaze Kick from Joey
Rappaport
that cinched him the title. The USS Neptune went down... thanks to the USS
Titan II. The strangest IWO event in history, for sure...)

i want it all before you go
i want it all before you go
i want it all before you go

(Evan Levine and High Flyer appear on screen in front of a scaffold... they
fade out. LiGil and The Spaz Event are shown in front of a door that has
"EXIT" in bright red letters above it. They fade out. AWS Man and 0¬Ņ0 appear

in the middle of a studio. They're gone... Dane Matthews and Sam Potright are
in front of a steel cage... they disappear. Schitzo Tod and Simon Seaman are
right in front of a big "NO" sign with a steel chair behind it. They
dissolve... Zombie. Syphon Fission. And in between their pictures, a
screaming man in pain as a submission manuever is applied... finally, with
steel chairs in hand, Joey Legion and Matt Senate's first-ever "talent"
photos fade into view. Explosives are settled on the chair... and Joey
Malone's picture appears across from them.)

i don't ever try
to keep the love alive
I've found the frequency
you sucked it out of me
you sucked it out of me
you sucked it out of me
my only enemy, my only enemy
watch the world turn on
watch the world turn on
watch the world turn on
my only enemy, my only enemy
my only enemy, my only enemy
my only enemy
well fuck you, well fuck you

(Clips of Cyanide and Donnie Daze in action go by like wildfire. This is
intermixed with footage of all types of tables -- kitchen, buffet, banquet,
glass, china, coffee... and then, the footage is intermixed with the pouring
of thumbtacks onto a mat... of nails being driven through wood... of fire.
Burning, scathing, deadly fire. People are chokeslammed through tables,
piledriven... finally, a table spins around... and a graphic of the
thumbtacks raining out of a bag appears in motion right above it. A close-up
Cyanide's face fades in... followed by his body to the side of it. Daze's
face fades in... and his body follows, to the side, the IWO World title in
one hand.)

(As the music stops... there's laughter. Imminent, frightening laughter...
cackling.)

(We smash cut into the SOLD-OUT FLEET CENTER IN BOSTON, MASS.!)

GP: WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THE FLEET
CENTER! AND WELCOME TO
MONDAY NIGHT MELTDOWN!

JT: WE'RE SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF DRUNKEN IRISH PEOPLE!

Shallow: AND I'M ONE OF THEM!

(We go to the commentator's table. There's Greg Parker, JT, and Johnny
Shallow. Shallow has a mug of beer with him on top of his format papers.)

JT: Why are you drinking?

Shallow: CUZ I WENT TO THE B-AH!

JT: Oh god, HE'S TALKING BOSTONESE!

Shallow: I forgot where I put my cah. Now I can't get to Mahc's pahty.

GP: Let's hope he sobers up.

Shallow: I'm sobah enough. Trusssssssssttttt me...

GP: Um... anyway, we have A HUGE CARD TONIGHT! We've got everyone
here! Evan
Levine and High Flyer face off in a scaffold match!

JT: Hey, that's a lot of crap up in the rafters.

GP: Of course. We've also got a steel cage match with Sam Potright --

(The crowd bursts into cheers.)

GP: Am I on mic?

JT: Hold on a sec. Say his name again.

GP: SAM POTRIGHT!

(Cheers.)

GP: I guess I am. Well, Potright's got the hometown people cheering for him
tonight... he's from Salem, you know.

JT: Oh. No wonder he's so stupid.

(Boos.)

JT: MINE'S TURNED ON TOO?

GP: Well, anyway, Potright faces Dane Matthews in the cage! We've got the
Extreme Title match, the TV title match, a Loser Leaves Town match, a
submission match... and the big one, the IWO World title. We've got a huge
card, like I said, so let's go the ring!

(As is New England wrestling tradition, the bell rings to signify the
beginning of the card.)

Loser Leaves Town
LiGil vs. The Spaz Event

GP: None of these participants have been terribly active in recent weeks, so
I guess this is some form of cutting the fat on the roster?

JT: Whatever the reason, we have a match to call. Let's get down to Meygon
for the introductions.

Meygon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Loser
Leaves Town match. Making his way to the ring first, weighing in at two
hundred and fifty-four pounds, from Detriot, Michigan, LiGil!

["Suffocate" by Finger Eleven plays as LiGiL steps out to a medium pop. He
runs down to the ring and slides in.]

Meygon: And the challengers, at a combined weight of four hundred and ninety
pounds, Spaz and Steve Sullivan, the Spaz Event!

["Twist of Cain" by Danzig hits and the Spaz Event steps out on the stage to
a mixed reaction from the crowd. They stroll to the ring and slide in. LiGiL
tries to take advantage with a forearm to the head of Spaz, but Steve
Sullivan knocks him to the mat with a strong right hook.]

*DING DING DING!*

GP: This match is underway!

[Steve Sullivan starts off by whipping LiGiL into the ropes. LiGiL rebounds
and walks straight into Sullivan's scoop slam. Sullivan follows it up with a
DDT. As LiGiL gets up, Spaz hits a flying clothesline off the top rope. LiGiL
goes down, and Sullivan delivers a leg drop. Spaz and Sullivan simultaneously
Irish whip him into the ropes, and hit cyclone forearms when he returns. The
two go to opposite turnbuckles. Spaz hits a body splash and rolls away just
as Steve comes with a moonsault. Spaz steps up on LiGiL's chest while Steve
holds his shoulders to the ground.]

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

JT: LiGiL kicks out! Spaz goes crashing into Steve Sullivan!

[With Spaz and Steve tangled up together, LiGiL gets to his feet and waits.
Spaz gets up first, and goes down via side suplex. Steve gets up next and
hits a Russian leg sweep on LiGiL, but LiGiL reverses it into a tiger suplex.
Spaz dives at LiGiL with a clothesline and connects. Steve pulls LiGiL up and
sets him up in a t-bone suplex. Spaz hits a double knee drop, then goes for a
cover.]

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

GP: LiGiL kicks out again!

[Spaz goes to the top rope and connects with a missile dropkick, sending
LiGiL backwards into Steve Sullivan's arms. Steve whips LiGiL into the ropes,
he bounces back, and Steve throws him over the top rope. LiGiL flies out and
collides with the crowd barrier.]

JT: LiGiL must be in a lot of pain, now.

[Steve hops up onto the top rope and dives into the crowd, landing on top of
LiGiL. He picks LiGiL up and whips him into the barricade. LiGiL collides and
flips over onto the cement floor. Spaz delivers a flying shoulder block,
knocking the wind out of LiGiL. Steve hits a leg drop off the top of the
barrier. Spaz rolls LiGiL into the ring, and hooks his leg for a pin.]

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

GP: LiGiL kicks out again! This is incredible!

[A visibly angry Spaz takes LiGiL down with a strong crossover clothesline.
Steve picks LiGiL up and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. Spaz suddenly goes
into a rage, angrilly stomping at LiGiL. Steve lifts LiGiL to his feet, then
climbs the turnbuckle and spears him down.]

JT: There's the Event Horizon! Steve Sullivan's going for the pin!

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THREE!*

GP: This match is over! Looks like LiGiL is out of the IWO!

JT: Wait a second! What's going on up on the stage?

["Hail to ther Chief" plays as VP Ford steps out onto the stage, mic in
hand.]

JT: Looks like VP Ford's got something to say about this match.

Ford: Wait just a minute there, LiGiL! You're not going anywhere yet...in
fact, none of you are gone as of yet...because you three will be competing in
the May Mayhem match! That is all!

[VP Ford steps back through the curtain and vanishes while the three men in
the ring stare at each other incredulously.]

- Appropriately enough, a May Mayhem Promo -

[ ďI Am Your Boogie ManĒ by White Zombie starts
playing over the speakers as the fans erupt In a
*heat*
reaction. ]

JT: And how to start off a new night, with the awesome
President of the IWO... Evan Levine !!!

[ President Evan Levine walks down the ring In a black
suit and tie, along with a microphone... as he
carries a smile on his face, he walks up the steps and
enters the ring. ]

GP: Just what we need. President Evan Levine to start
Monday Night Meltdown off !!!

Shallow: Well, It Is *his* show !!!

JT: Yeah Greg !, show some respect. Respect against
Sarcasm for the Boss. Remember that !!!

GP: ......

JT: =)

GP: SHUT UP JT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT: Shutting up.

Shallow: LoL.

[ President Evan Levine brings the microphone to his
mouth as he speaks. ]

President Evan Levine: May I have your attention
please !?!?

*Crowd Heat*

GP: Fuck No !!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

President Evan Levine: I said... may I have your
attention please !?!?

*Crowd Heat*

GP: Fuck No !!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

President Evan Levine: Oh !... SHUT THE HELL UP
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP: Shutting up.

JT: =)

*Crowd Heat Lowers*

President Evan Levine: Thank you ! Now, If I can speak
over you Boston freaks, I would like to make an
announcement.

JT: Cool !

President Evan Levine: Introducing to the ring at this
time, the NEVER DEFEATED and STILL
EXTREME CHAMPION OF THE IWO... SABASTIAN CROW
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Crowd Heat*

GP: Oh ! This Is sick !!!

[ ďEnter SandmanĒ by Metallica blares over the PA
speakers as Sabastian Crow... wearing black KIK
pants, black tanktop, black boots, and dark shades
covering his eyes walks from behind the curtains... he
holds the Extreme Championship over his shoulder as he
makes his way to the ring, as people continue to
boo even heavier. ]

Shallow: Sabastian Crow ? Still the Extreme Champion ?

GP: Yeah !

Shallow: But, I thought Schitzo Tod was the new
Extreme Champion ?

GP: No ! Didnít you see Hostile Takeover ? Sabastian
Crow, simply screwed Schitzo Tod from the Gold.

Shallow: Oh... I must of missed that...

JT: No he didnít ! Sabastian Crow just took back what
was rightfully his. Sabastian Crow Is and still has
remained the Extreme Champion ! Un-defeated !

Shallow: Oh... I must of missed that too...

JT: Yeah ! Get your facts straight Greg !

GP: Whatever JT !!!

[ Evan Levine hands the microphone over to Sabastian
Crow as Sabastian Crow smiles In delight. ]

*Huge Crowd Heat*

[ Sabastian Crow brings the microphone to his mouth
and Is about to speak... ]

Sabastian Crow: For the night of May 11th, 2001...
last weekís Hostile Takeover, I showed the world why
I am simply the greatest remaining IWO Extreme
Champion In this organization today !!! For Schitzo
Tod, he might think he and Is still or was the
Champion of that belt, but he truly knows the rightful
owner, and that Is me... Sabastian Crow !!!

*Crowd Heat Picks Up*

GP: God ! Boston hates Sabastian Crow...

JT: Why ? This guy Is the coolest !!!

Sabastian Crow: Moving onto Thomas Ford...

*Huge Crowd Pop*

[ Sabastian Crow lowers the microphone and looks
around at the screaming fans. ]

GP: And they love Vice President Tom Ford !!!

JT: What idiots !!!

[ Sabastian Crow brings the microphone back to his
mouth and smiles... ]

Sabastian Crow: Yeah ! Thomas Ford... the Vice
President of the IWO... the big man backstage at
Hostile
Takeover. Yeah ! Like, whatever !!!, hehe...

*Crowd Heat*

Sabastian Crow: Thomas Ford ! You might of thought It
was cute when you paid off some lousy, sissy ass
actor from Hollywood to play my role last week. You
thought you out-smarted me, eh ? You thought you
were going to pay me back for my actions against you
eh ? Well Thomas, THINK AGAIN !!!!!!! Tom
Ford, you will have to understand, that I, and I have
shown the world, that NOTHING and I do mean
NOTHING gets past Crow !!!!!... Thomas Ford, not even
your worthless body will get past me, because
even If It trys to, Iíll just make It more
worthless... bone by bone.. flesh by... flesh...

[ Evan Levine laughs. ]

Sabastian Crow: You see Thomas Ford... thereís
something special about being me, as the IWO Extreme
Champion. Oh yes !, there Is something special. You
see, un-like some champions In the back... Iím
referring to such people as The Suicide Kings... AWS
Man... and of course, that low self of talent, World
Champion, Donnie Daze... un-like them, Iím not In the
back chomping down my McDonalds Burger and
French Fries... Iím out here, night after night, show
after show, paying my dues. Iím out here, busting my
ass for shows like these and you want to know why ?

[ Crow looks around at the audience In attendance. ]

Sabastian Crow: You want to know why ?

[ Sabastian Crow nods his head... ]

Sabastian Crow: All right, Iíll tell you why...

[ Sabastian Crow starts pointing around him at
everybody In the stands... ]

Sabastian Crow: Because Iím out here doing It, for you
guys ! Oh yes !, Iím out here doing It for the
*people*. The people who love and enjoy great IWO
Entertainment, Iím out here doing It for you guys...

[ Evan Levine nods his head as If It Is true. ]

Sabastian Crow: And what do I get In return ?

[ Sabastian Crow lowers his arm. ]

*Loud Crowd Heat*

Sabastian Crow: YEAH ! THATíS EXACTLY RIGHT !!!!... I
get nothing, but booís here and booís there.
Why ? Because Itís called no dis-respect. No respect
for a *true* champion anymore, Itís horrible. You
donít see World Champion Donnie Daze out here, doing
this stuff do you ?... OH HELL NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT: Yeah ! You tell them Crow !!!

[ Sabastian Crow narrows his head and shakes It, as
his eyes suddenly go into a gloom and strange
manner... a sick, sadistic smile comes across his face
as he begins to raise his head back at the audience. ]

Sabastian Crow: Well you know what ?... you all can go
fuck yourselves !!!!!!

Shallow: WHAT !?!?!?

GP: Oh my ! That was a little harsh...

Sabastian Crow: You and your worthless jobs...
construction workers, bell boys, grocery baggers...
you
idiots coming here and spending your hard earned money
to watch people get the shit beat out of them.
And what do I think about that ? Absolutely nothing !,
because you know, every cent of money you throw
out that has my name imprinted on It... or a ticket...
, most and some of that money comes to me. So, Iím
sitting back there, and Iím laughing my head off,
talking about how you people suck so much ass to get
to
where you are now ! Frankly, youíre nothing but
stinky, disgusting, low lifes who canít get laid for a
quarter chick on the street !!!

*Crowd Heat*

Sabastian Crow: And you women ?, HA !!!... dressing up
night after night to come to see these things,
holding your little signís about your favorite
wrestling men. Putting on your lip stick and showing
out
your breastís to the crowd... sheesh, I could get
better pussy on the street than you flee bag, skank
ass
hoes !!!!!

*HUGE Crowd Heat*

GP: Oh God ! Now thatís taking It too far !!!

[ Sabastian Crow laughs at his remarks... along with
Evan... ]

Sabastian Crow: Now, Schitzo Tod...

*HUGE Crowd Pop*

Sabastian Crow: =)

Audience: TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD !
TOD ! TOD ! TOD !

Sabastian Crow: Ah yes !, the great Schitzo Tod... the
man that I assassinated last Friday night on Hostile
Takeover...

GP: WHAT !?!?!?!?

Shallow: Oh my...

GP: He canít be serious !!!!

Sabastian Crow: Haha ! Yup, you see... after me and
Todís little joy ride In the ambulance, we payed a
little trip to the Cemetery...

[ The audience goes silent... ]

Sabastian Crow: And as I dragged his retarded carcass
from the ambulance, the fuck still had a little fight
In him. So, business, once again was being taken care
of... but though, It was not finished. As I picked up
thy bat, and I held It above my head, I struck It to
his skull and worthless body numerous times, until I
seen the blood drain from his face. For the smile that
came on my face, you will never know...

*Crowd Heat*

JT: Greg, are you catching this ?

GP: Yes ! Now JT, what do you think about your IWO
hero ?

JT: I donít know...

Shallow: Schitzo Tod Is dead ?

GP: Iím... not sure ?

[ President Evan Levine takes the microphone... ]

President Evan Levine: Whoa ! Hold It there Crow...

[ Sabastian Crow looks over at Evan... ]

President Evan Levine: I think they should see how It
all went down !!!

Sabastian Crow: =)

[ Evan gives the microphone back to Sabastian Crow...
]

Sabastian Crow: Yeah !, hehe... youíre right... ROLL
THE FOOTAGE !!!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIDEO FOOTAGE {AFTER} HOSTILE TAKEOVER WENT OFF THE
AIR:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(The main body to "Digustipated" plays in the
background. Over the blackness, we can see half od
Tod's
face. A large scar is seen under his left eye, along
with many bruises. We fade out from Tod and, still in
the blackness, see Sabstian Crow driving the
ambulance, with a Sadistic look in his eyes.)

"This. Is. Necessary. This. Is. Necessary. Life, feeds
on life, feeds on life, feeds on life, feeds on this.
Is.
Necessary. This. Is. Necessary. Life, feeds on life,
feeds on life, feeds on life."

(The ambulance pulls in a cemetery. The morning fog
rolls in as Crow outs of his door, and proceeds to
open the back, where Tod is. We fade to more black,
then fade back in to find Sabastian Crow leaning
Tod on a rock. He grabs a baseball bat and raises it
above his head. Fade to black, then back in again.
Crow is stomping away at a badly beaten Tod, who is
clutching his title with the last bit of strength he
has. Crow hits him again, and the title slips from
Tod's grasp. Crow garbs it, and starts to walk off.)

Sabastian Crow: Thanks for the title.

"This. Is. Necessary. This. Is. Necessary. Life, feeds
on life, feeds on life, feeds on life, feeds on this.
Is.
Necessary. This. Is. Necessary. LIFE, FEEDS ON LIFE,
FEEDS ON LIFE, FEEDS ON LIFE!."

(The last few notes tot he song are played. Tod shuts
his right eye, and the scene fades to black. The black
becomes white was we fade in to the bright lights of a
hospital. We find Joey Malone in a waiting room
talking with a doctor.)

Joey Malone: How is he?

Doctor: Not too good. Physically, he's doing a little
bit better. But mentally I don't think he's all there.

~~Scene Fades Out~~

Doctor: Hello everyone..

Schitzo Tod: Feeds on life Feeds on life Feeds on life


Joey Malone: How long has he been like this?

Doctor: He's been staring at that wall and saying
those three words ever since he woke up.

~~Scene Fades Out~~

(Malone bolts out the office and heads to his car. We
fade in to find Malone pulling up at an apartment
complex. He runs up a flight of stairs and comes to
Tod's apartment, he notices the door is wide open. He
enters, and finds things broken and trashed. Blood
stains can be seen on the carpet and on the
walls. Tod steps out of a room wearing black pants,
and a black tank-top. His skin is white, and his hair,
blacker then ever, has been let back. Black triangles
form under T od's eyes. And a big, black, smile is
painted over his mouth. Tod then puts on a black
trench coat and heads out the door until Malone stops
him.)

Joey Malone: Tod… What have you done to yourself?

Schitzo Tod: Tod?

Joey Malone: Yeah…

Schitzo Tod: That weak fool? I took care of him.

Joey Malone: Tod… You look different.

Schitzo Tod: Don't call me by that name. I hate that
name, Tod. It sounds pathetic. I don't need a name
like that.

Joey Malone: Tod, you aren't making any sense!

Schitzo Tod: Jester.

Joey Malone: What?

Schitzo tod: My name… It's Jester.

Joey Malone: Jester?

Jester: Yes, Jester…

(Tod grabd a pipe.)

Joey Malone: Where are you going with that?

Jester: …

Joey Malone: Tod, what do you need the pipe for?

Jester: …

Joey Malone: TOD!

Jester: It's necessary… I'm going to take care of
the man who attacked me.

Joey Malone: It was a random mugging, they don't know
who did it..

Jester: Random mugging? I don't think so. Sabastian
Crow was the one.

Joey Malone: Get serious, Crow wouldn't do that.

Jester: He wouldn't? Oh, I most certainly think he
would.

Joey Malone: Tod, I'm not going to let you go out
there and hurt anyone.

Jester: Crow stole my title, my pride.. And most of
all, Crow stole my dignity. For that, he shall pay.
You
see, the weak feeds on the weak. You friend Tod was
weak, and Crow knew this, so he attacked him. I
think it's time a returned the favor to crow.

Joey Malone: Tod… You'll regret it…

Jester: I won't regret a thing.

(Tod storms out of the apartment as the scene fades to
nothing.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIDEO FOOTAGE ENDS...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ Sabastian Crow Is laughing at what he has
accomplished... ]

*Crowd Heat*

Sabastian Crow: So you see !... Schitzo Tod, oh !, I
mean... JESTER, Is not dead after all... nah !, I let
him live this time, hehe...

GP: What an asshole !!!

JT: Haha ! This guy Is great !!!

Sabastian Crow: So as I end this tonight...

[ ďSoberĒ by Tool begins playing over the speakers as
Sabastian Crow and Evan Levine jump, and look at
the entrance, with a really scared look on their
faces... ]

GP: OH ! HERE WE GO !!!

Shallow: Looks like Sabastian Crow Is finally going to
get whatís coming to him after-all...

[ Suddenly, the music changes over and ďHail to the
ChiefĒ begins playing over the speakers... ]

GP: Wait a Minute ! Whats this ?

[ Suddenly, a little midget Tom Ford walks out from
the curtains... followed by a midget Schitzo Tod,
which Is hanging his lipís from the midget Tom Fords
ass. ]

JT: Wait a minute ! What the hell !?!?!?, HAHA...

GP: What Is this !?!?!?!?

Shallow: Haha... oh my God !!!

[ The two midgets get inside the ring as Crow and Evan
burst out laughing. The music comes to a stop as
the fans erupt In both boos and laughs... ]

Sabastian Crow: Oh my God !, look who It Is... Itís
Vice President Tom Bored with Schitzo Bitch !!!!

[ Crow and Evan break out laughing again. ]

Sabastian Crow: My, Tom Ford ! Schitzo Tod ! I didnít
expect you two to show up tonight !!!... what a
COMPLETE surprise, hehe...

[ Evan grabs the microphone. ]

Evan Levine: Hmmm... hey Crow, If you can get them to
stand up, maybe we can hear their comments ?

[ Crow takes the microphone. ]

Sabastian Crow: HAHA !!!... thatís a good idea Evan !
Letís try that, shall we ?

[ Sabastian Crow puts the microphone to the midget
Schitzo Tods mouth... ]

Midget Schitzo Tod: MMMM... I Love Executive Ass and I
donít know why...

Sabastian Crow: Ruhh ???

[ Sabastian Crow puts the microphone to the midget Tom
Fords mouth... ]

Midget Tom Ford: So, pucker up and suck It dry
!!!!!!!!

[ Sabastian Crow and Evan Levine once again, burst out
laughing... ]

GP: What a disgrace !!!

Shallow: What mockery !!!

JT: What genius !!!

[ Greg and Shallow both look at JT. ]

JT: What ?

[ Suddenly, ďSoberĒ by Tool plays over the speakers
again as both Crow and Evan look up at the stage.
The midgets release their actions and look up as
well... ]

GP: HERE WE GO ! NOW BUSINESS IS GOING TO PICK UP
!!!!!!!!

JT: Where have I heard that line before ?

[ All the sudden, Schitzo Tod runs from the back
wearing all black, with a ballbat In his hand... ]

GP: Itís Schitzo Tod !!!... Schitzo Tod Is here on
Meltdown and heís ready to kick some ass !!!!!

JT: Oh no ! This isnít good !!!

[ Schitzo Tod runs In the ring and swings for Crow,
but Crow picks up the Tom Ford midget and throws
him In front of Tod, as Tod hitís the Tom Ford midget
down... ]

JT: AHHH !!!... Schitzo Tod just struck down the VP
!!!

GP: Thatís not the IWO VP dillhole ! Thatís a midget
Tom Ford !

JT: Bullshit ! I never seen Tom Ford any other height
but that...

GP: Ugh ! Whatever...

JT: =)

Shallow: JT ! Just stop arguing !!!

JT: No ! Because I know Iím right.

Shallow: Why, If Nikki was here right now, she
would...

JT: Wait a minute ! Watch out...

[ Crow picks up the Schitzo Tod midget and throws him
at the real Schitzo Tod, as Schitzo Tod knocks
him across the head, making him fall to the mat In
mid-air. ]

JT: Schitzo Tod just wacked himself !!!

GP: What ?

JT: Errr...

Shallow: LoL !!!

GP: Now, Itís down to Schitzo Tod and Sabastian Crow
!!! Sabastian charges at Schitzo Tod now, heís
finally gained some spirit and he SPEARS TOD TO THE
MAT !!!!! Jesus Christ !!!!

Shallow: Wait a minute ! The fight isnít over yet...
Sabastian Crow Is hammering Schitzo Todís head...
Crow brings Schitzo Tod back up and hits a vertical
suplex !!!! Sabastian Crow reaches to bring Tod back
up, but YES !... Schitzo Tod hit a low blow on Crow...
Crow down, Tod takes advantage and hits a DDT !

JT: Oh no !, I canít believe this Is happening...

GP: Better believe It, hehe...

Shallow: Schitzo Tod picks up Crow and flys him over
the ropes to the outside... now, Evan Levine Is left
In the ring, Evan doesnít know what to do... Schitzo
Tod has a ballbat and heís threatening Evan with It
!!! No !, donít do It Tod, donít get yourself
suspended, WHOA...

GP: Crow back In now, he kicks Tod to the gut and hits
a swinging neckbreaker. Now Schitzo Tod Is
down, Crow takes advantage and... whats he going for
?... OH MY !!! THEREíS THE SUBMISSION
DEATHLOCK ! SABASTIAN CROW HAS IT HOOKED
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT: Yes ! Yes ! Yes !

Shallow: Ok ! JT Is having a orgasm... Crow has the
Submission Deathlock hooked on Schitzo Tod...
Schitzo Tod canít break free, Crow gots It hooked on
tight. Tod Is screaming In pain... my God, theres
some refereeís, theyíre coming In the ring now...

GP: The referees and officials are going to try and
free Schitzo Tod from Sabastian Crowís painful
Submission Deathlock. Can they do It ? Theyíre trying
to talk some sense into Crow now... and yes !
Crow breaks the Submission, but wait !!! NO ! THATíS A
REFEREE !!!!!... CROW JUST GRABBED
HOLD OF THE REFEREE, HE HAS HIM TURNED OVER, AND
AHHH... CROW HAS THE
REFEREE IN THE SUBMISSION DEATHLOCK... THE REFEREE IS
TAPPING OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!

Shallow: The referee isnít a wrestler !!! Crow has
lost It here !!!!!!

JT: This Is great ! The other officials are trying to
break Crow away from the referee...

Crowd Chant: TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD !
TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD !
TOD ! TOD ! TOD ! TOD !

GP: The crowd Is on their feet ! Theyíre chanting for
Schitzo Tod !!! Come on Tod, make the save !!!!!

Shallow: And wait a minute, Tod Is up !!!... Crow
releases the referee and slides out of the ring with
Evan...

[ Crow looks eye to eye with Schitzo Tod... Tod, who
Is still In the ring... ]

GP: Crow and Tod are looking eye to eye... wait a
minute, Tod just grabbed the microphone from
Meghan...

Schitzo Tod: CROW ! Enough Is Enough ! First me, now
this ? Forget It Crow, I came back tonight for
one thing and that one thing Is *MY* Extreme
Championship Belt !!!!

[ Crow Is out of breath, as he continues to listen...
]

Schitzo Tod: So Sabastian Crow, tonight... that belt
Is going to be on the line, and It will be me -vs- you
!!! ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE CROW !!!!

Sabastian Crow: OH YEAH !, I ACCEPT !!!!!

[ ďEnter SandmanĒ by Metallica blares over the PA
speakers as Crow startís backing up the rampway. ]

GP: Oh my ! Schitzo Tod -vs- Sabastian Crow for the
Extreme Title, TONIGHT !!!!!!

JT: This Is going to get out of control, I can feel It
!!!!

[ A last shot of Schitzo Tod looking down at Sabastian
Crow Is shown before the scene fades off and we
go to commercials. ]

- Commercial -

(as the camera cut from the action in the IWO ring the camera head to
the
pack where there is the Prez of the IWO Evan walking down the hallways
as he
finally gets in front of the newly reinstated Billy Ray and the
Bartender's
locker room Evan has an evilish smile on his face as Evan kicks open
the
door there is Billy Ray drinking a can of coke and the Bartender is
taking a
nap)

Evan: Well well well it seems you guy are really sober!

Billy Ray: Ya I told ya we were. We went to AA and all that bull shit
that
you wanted us to do.

Evan: Well fine then you guys have proven yourselves. You guys will
be
booked on HT I will inform Tom tonight about that decision.

The Bartender: Sounds good to us Evan.

Billy Ray: Thanks a lot Evan I cant wait to get back into that ring!

Evan: Ya ya enough with the thank yous. All right boys see you guys
Friday
Night on HT.

(as VP Evan closes to door he heads out as Billy Ray and the Bartender
begin
to laugh out loud as Billy pulls out a fifth of JD and pours it into
his
coke can)

Billy Ray: What a moron!

(as the scene fades with Billy Ray and the Bartender both laughing at
VP
Evan and mocking him)


(We return from the break, and Sam Potright is pacing around the backstage area... he's alone... and his
face seems well, a little more twisted, a little more unsettled. He's worried... wouldn't you be? He is
missing his wife...)

Potright: Christ... I'm in my home arena, and yet... there's no one here to help me.

Matthews: I'll help you, my good man!

(From behind a corner, Matthews appears, his speed insanely fast, and he clips out the knee of Potright
with what appears to be a 2 x 4!)

GP: HE JUST TOOK OUT POTRIGHT'S KNEE! AND THE BASTARD IS ATTACKING HIM WITH IT!
SMASHES IT OVER POTRIGHT'S KNEECAP! GOOD GOD! HE HAS THE PIECES... HE'S CHOKING
THE MASS NATIVE WITH THEM! CHOKING HIM!

(Matthews, choking Potright, leans his head in closer.)

Matthews: I'm getting closer to your wife... Potty... whether you like it or not.

(He gets up and leaves. We fade to the ring...)

GP:Fans, we are going to get a special preview of May
Mayhem right here tonight, in what can be considered a
battle of the greats. A returning Evan Levine takes on
High Flyer in a scaffold match.

JT:This has legend all over it Parker. I mean, Flyer
and Levine, they've had countless battles and so much
history. It's almost like they've been joined at the
hip.

Shallow:And both of them are making their returns to
the IWO ring after some off time. Flyer has only had
the one match advantage, but that's easily countered
by the shear aspect of this match, and the injury to
his knee.

GP:This will be on to remember...

(The lights dim, as blue, red, green, and yellow pyro
shoots from each turnbuckle in a rotating fashion.
Slowly, it stops, and then bursts all at one,
illuminating the arena. "See Thru All" by Staind
begins to play over the pa system, as out from the
back walks Flyer. He makes his way out, and quickly
comes to the ring, not really feeling the effects of
the brawl from last Friday. He slowly slides into the
rin, and grabs a microphone, not yet climbing up the
scaffolding.)

Flyer:Fans... IWO... I would like to say to all of
you... that my baby boy, has been born on Saturday,
May 12th, 2001. (cheers) He's a healthy baby boy by
the name of Allocca. I know, it's a great day to be
me, and I feel as good as I did on the day of my
wedding. I am truely on some sort of wonderful high...
but then again, the depression that follows is just...
Tony? If you're in the back, I want you to please stop
ruining my sisters life. You've ruin her stability,
and you've ruined everything about her family! Tony...
I can't beleive you would go to such bounds, but I
guess it's more her fault than yours...

(Flyer drops the microphone, as he climbs up to the
scaffolding. Meygon grabs the microphone.)

Meygon:This next match, is a scaffold match.
Introducing first, from Bethlehem, PA, and weighing in
at 204 pounds, the master of the Flying Moon Shot,
High Flyer!

("I am your Boogieman" by White Zombie hits the pa
system as out from the back races Evan Levine. He
immediatly makes his way up the ladder as fast as he
can.)

Meygon:And his opponent, from Philadelphia, PA, the
master of conceptual Perfection... Evan Levine!

(Evan immediatly gets to his feet as Flyer and Evan
begin to brawl high atop the stadium.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:And this match is on! Preview of Mayhem right here!
Levine knocks Flyer down with a huge right hand! And
Flyer back up and goes back down again!

JT:Flyer up, and Levine goes for another, but Flyer
blocks it! Flyer hooks his arm, and goes for a single
arm ddt, but Levine blocks that as well! Levine hooks
Flyer for a northern lights, but Flyer flips out of it
and down the back of Levine!

Shallow:Fast and crazy! Flyer turns Levine around and
KICKS HIM DOWNSTAIRS! And Flyer with a huge knee to
Levine's face, sending him crashing down to the
scaffolding.

GP:Flyer grabs Levine, and goes to throw him off! No!
Levine catches Flyer with a shot to the gut, and then
a uppercut to the face. Flyer backs off, as Levine
comes with a clothesline of his own, sending the
neighborhood lunatic down to the scaffolding!

JT:Levine grabs Flyer, and clubs the back of his neck
with his forearm. Flyer falls down to the scaffold
hard, as Levine picks him back up. Evan with a
side-head lock, wrenching it in, and he's going to
suplex Flyer!

Shallow:No, Flyer with a couple of swift shots to
Levine's gut, breaking the side headlock, as Flyer
leaps up, and nails Levine with a huge hudaconrada!

GP:That scaffolding is shaking rather heavily from
that blow, as Levine gets to his feet. Flyer rises up
with a dropkick, which catches Evan staggering. Flyer
back to his feet again, as Flyer grabs Levine's neck
by the palms! He's going for Cold Snow!

JT:No! Levine shoves Flyer off, as Flyer staggers, and
Levine kicks Flyer in the gut, and nails him with a
huge snap suplex. Levine holds on though, as he gets
to his feet, and delievers another one! And Levine is
climbing to his feet one more time, and ONE MORE FOR
GOOD LUCK! GO EVAN! YOU DA MAN!

GP:It's called journalistic integrity...

Shallow:And he lost it years ago...

JT:HEY!

GP:Levine is gloating high above the Fleetcenter, as
he picks Flyer back up off of the mat. Levine grabs
Flyer up off of the scaffolding, and grabs him by his
neck... both hands, and rises him off of his feet!

JT:Yes! Dear god! Levine's going to throw Flyer off of
the scaffolding by his Throat! Classic!

GP:Flyer is kicking Levine in the gut, trying to block
it, and eventually releases the hold. Levine bends
over, as Flyer hooks him, HYPOTHERMIA! RIGHT ONTO THAT
ROCKY SCAFFOLDING!

Shallow:Levine is down, Flyer is down trying to regain
any air he can from that choke by Levine. Flyer is the
first to his feet however, as Levine is to his knees.
Flyer is going for a side neckbreaker, but Levine
resists the hold, causing Flyer to land heavily on his
back!

JT:Wicked, Flyer almost pushed himself off the
scaffolding there!

GP:And Levine is going to go for the attack. Flyer is
getting to his feet, as Levine wraps him from behind,
and takes him over with a nice german suplex.

JT:Flyer was folded up like an accordian!

(GP and Shallow just stare at JT.)

JT:WHAT! He was!

GP:And Levine picks Flyer up off of the scaffolding,
and begins to hammering him back down with right hand,
after right hand. Now, Levine kicks Flyer in the
gut... He's going to hit him with his old finisher!
He's going for the double underhook no rise
piledriver!(Pedigree)

JT:If he hits this! The match might as well be over!

Shallow:AND EVAN NAILS IT! RIGHT ON THAT SCAFFOLDING!
FLYER IS LAID OUT LIKE A SPANISH HOOKER!

(GP and JT just look at Shallow.)

Shallow:Forget you.

GP:Evan is slowly rolling Flyer off of the
scaffolding... but then... wait! Evan, he's deciding
he doesn't want to end it this way!

JT:Evan's picking up Flyer! He's going to hit
Conceptual Perfection on him! YES! WE HAVEN'T SEEN
THIS MOVE IN MONTHS! Evan picks Flyer up onto his
shoulders...

Shallow:NO! Flyer begins to struggle, and palms Evan's
neck! COLD SNOW! COLD SNOW OUT OF CONCEPTUAL
PERFECTION ONTO THE SCAFFOLDING! EVAN LEVINE IS DOWN!

GP:Flyer grabs Levine up off of the scaffold, and now
Levine with a shot to the gut! Levine is going to
powerbomb Flyer off of the scaffold!!!

JT:YES! YES!

Shallow:NO! FLYER REVERSES INTO A HUDACONRADA! FLYER
GRABS ONTO THE SCAFFOLDING WITH HIS HANDS AS LEVINE
COMES CRASHING INTO THE RING AND ONTO THE TABLES SET
UP! FLYER HAS WON!

GP:But... what the... who's that on the scaffold?!?

JT:It's Syphon Fission! Dear god! How the hell did he
get up there!

(Syphon stares down at Flyer, who's barely holding
onto the scaffold by his hands. Syphon then stamps his
foot hard onto Flyer's left hand, putting Flyer in a
bad situation.)

GP:What the hell is Syphon trying to prove!

JT:DO THE OTHER FOOT! NOW! YES! NOW!

(Syphon presses down with his foot onto Flyer's other
hand... as Flyer is stuck between the scaffold and
Fission's foot. Fission releases his foots tomp, as
Flyer plumets through the tables stacked in the ring.)

GP:DEAR GOD! FISSION JUST DESTROYED FLYER! I... I
don't know what the hell is going on, but we're ready
for a commercial...

("Meaning of Life" by Disturbed kicks into the pa
system, as out from the back walks Tony Davis,
carrying a Freakin' chainsaw.)

JT:OH YES! BLOOD!

GP:Dear God! You don't think Davis would actually...
You don't think...

(All of a sudden, Tammy comes racing out from the
backstage area, and immediatly tries to stop Tony from
doing what he wishes to do. She begs with him, as she
gives him a sweet sensual kiss on the lips. Flyer
doesn't know what to do, as he's trying to get back up
to his feet. He sees the chainsaw, and bails out
quickly to avoid the ever changing mood of Tony
Davis.)

GP:Flyer being smart, leaving the ring with that
meniacal crazy lunatic with the chainsaw.

JT:AWH! BLOOD :-(

**Commercial break**

(We fade into the arena, backstage, as we see an image
of Tammy Cradle, walking the backstage area alone.
Tony Davis is not by her side, as neither is Kent
Cradle.)

GP:After the bombshell that Tammy dropped last week, I
wonder what's going through her mind right now. After
everything that's happened, and what just happened out
in that ring...

JT:Oh yeah, just make it even more dramatic why don't
you?

(All of a sudden, Kent Cradle walks over to Tammy,
almost startling her to death.)

Tammy:Jeez Kent, you scared me to death.

Kent:Sorry Tam, but I was in a rush to see you. I got
here early and your ol' chap Tony wasn't here...

Tammy:Listen, I've got to tell you something.

Kent:What is it darling? You can tell me anything...

Tammy:... this is hard for me to say, but... Kent....

Kent:Yes? What's troubling you?

Tammy:I... I want a divorce...

(Kent stands in awe-struck, as he just collapses to
the ground. Tammy drops down, and goes to his side.)

Tammy:Kent! Are you... SOMEBODY GET SOMEONE TO HELP
HIM HERE!

GP:Dear God! She wants to get a divorce, and Kent has
just passed out! Someone get some medical attention
back there!

(We slowly fade out of it.)

- Commercial Break -

GP: And we're back!

JT: Oh, what a bore.

GP: Yeah, well...

("Your Disease" by Saliva plays as the entire crowd begins to erupt in
boos. The opening distortions end with the guitar riffs, which is where
the pyro explodes. Donnie Daze comes out, World title around his waist,
to an even bigger chorus of boos. Joey Legion and Matt Senate, both
wearing their fighting gear, stand side-by-side behind Daze. They all
head for the ring, and a ring technician hands Daze a microphone.)

Donnie Daze: You know, week after week, I have noted this one thing. The
IQs of the crowds that I perform in front of seems to drop even lower...
and lower... and lower. Hell, I'm pretty damn sure that you stupid
Bostonians couldn't even COUNT to your single-digit IQs.

(The crowd boos.)

Daze: Yes, this is the most pathetic fucking bunch ever. Just like Joey
Malone. Malone, I'm really sick of you, your mouth, and whatever else.
Tonight, I'll be much too busy beating the EPIC talent that is *snicker*
Cyanide, so since Joey Legion and Matt Senate are so bored, they'll kick
your ass for me.

("Shame" by BT kicks up...)

Shallow: Oh, bloody hell. Joey Malone has heard enough.

(...the video wall starts playing the usual Joey Malone images: Clips
from Arizona Firewater, clips from Arizona, clips from Joey beating up
on the Evil Gnomes from Deepwithinthefuckingundergroundah, clips of
hitting various people with the Everest Cataclysm, clips of Joey defying
physics, and clips of Joey eating a pie. Joey Malone, however, doesn't
come out.)

GP: Where IS Malone? Daze, Legion, and Senate are all looking for
Malone, but he's not anywhere around!

JT: Damn it, Malone's scared!

GP: WAIT! FROM THE CROWD! MALONE, AGAIN! MALONE HAS A STEEL
GOOSE!

*SMACK!*

GP: Legion's down from behind! Senate turns and he takes a shot,
himself! Malone is standing face to face with Donnie Daze, and he just
threw the steel goose out of the ring!

JT: FIGHT BACK!!

GP: Daze with a right hand, but Malone blocks! Right hand! Right hand!
Right hand! Repeated right hands to the head of Donnie Daze! Malone
takes a step back, SUPERKICK! Daze goes tumbling to the outside! Malone
has cleaned house!

(The two managers and the IWO World Champion regroup on the outside, as
Joey Malone grabs a microphone.)

Joey Malone: Aww, running off so soon, Dazeywazey? I was just getting
started.

(Daze still has the microphone.)

Donnie Daze: Started? Hah... I haven't even bothered to get out of the
starting gate... if you're looking to take the world title from me,
bitch, dream on. I beat you fair and square at WarCry.

Joey Malone: Yeah, square alright... square as in a square double
chairshot to my skull. Daze, how about I make a deal with you...

Daze: I'm afraid to ask.

Malone: How about, if I beat those two retards you call managers later
tonight, I get my title shot against you at Mayhem, and that restraining
order is called off.

Daze: Huh? That all works in YOUR favor. What do *WE* get if Legion and
Senate beat you?

Malone: They won't, but if they should, I'll agree to the "I'm Your
Bitch" rules.

Daze: YES! HAH HAH! PERFECT! You're SO screwed, Malone... and you WILL
be my bitch, be it Mayhem, or tonight...

Malone: As opposed to your two managers?

(Legion takes the microphone.)

Joey Legion: Hey, FUCK YOU, Malone. You're going down, tonight, and
that's all there is to it.

("Your Disease" by Saliva plays as the three walk away.)

GP: My god, tonight, Malone is fighting for his shot at the World title
at Mayhem, and his future with Keri Lindum, or be branded with "I am
Donnie Daze's bitch" on his ass! More tonight, folks!

(Commercials.)

GP: Here's the steel cage match that was supposed to be Dane Matthews and Sam
Potright. But since Dane took out Sam's knee earlier, we don't know what's happening.
The steel cage is still above the ring, waiting.

Shallow: Dane's a stupid one, I tell you. He just sits around in the backstage
while everyone else fights...

(Meygon steps into the ring, microphone in hand.)

JT: Well, something's going on here.

Meygon: This match is set tonight... for a steel cage match... coming to the
ring first is the master of the Downtown Explosion itself... He's former IWO
World Champion... DDDAAANNEEE MMMAAATTTHHHEEEWWWSS!!!

("The Memory Remains" by Metallica plays as Dane comes down to the ring.
The cage is being slowly lowered. Matthews runs, and slides into the ring before
the cage hits the ground. He makes a few rounds inside the cage, from
turnbuckle to turnbuckle... That is, until "Hail to Chief" kicks in. And out walks
VP Ford, mic in hand.)

VP Ford: Matthews, Since you're such a lazy person... Trying to kill off your
competition so you can easily relax in the back won't work. So I have a
proposition for you...

("Aenema" by Tool kicks in, and the lights dim.)

VP Ford: You'll be taking on the Rising Star himself, Kent Anthason. Part of the
Mass Media Movement, which you just took a third out of... Oh yeah, and
Dane? Welcome back.

(VP Ford walks back to the back. Dane's looking at the ramp, waiting for
Anthason to make his way out. A loud fog horn is heard from around the ring.
Dane looks around the ring immediately, until the fog horn itself hits Dane in the
back. The lights return to normal, as Dane looks up. He see's Kent Anthason
crouching on the top corner of the cage. Anthason leaps and lands a huge Rana
on the former world champ.)

GP: Woah! The North American champion is taking on Dane Matthews, and
after a huge Rana like Kent just pulled, it should be a fast match.

JT: Holy shit.

(Kent get's back up, as he grabs Dane by the hair and whips him into the ropes.
Dane comes back and meets a hard knee to the solar plexus. Kent grabs Dane
before he falls to the ground and plants him with a single-arm DDT. Kent gives
Dane a standing leg drop.)

Shallow: Kent Anthason taking it to Dane Matthews.

JT: No! Dane should win this. That isn't fair! IT ISN'T FAIR! Stupid, Ford.

GP: Heh heh. Let's not get all hostile, JT.

JT: Shut up!

(Dane slowly gets up, as Kent falls back to the ropes. Anthason takes to
sprinting at Matthews. Dane makes it up just in time to meet a Jumping
Roundhouse Kick.)

JT: Woah! That was awesome.

Shallow: PORK RIND INFINITY, better known as the TWILIGHT TO INFINITY! I
haven't saw that since the IML days.

GP: Nice...

(Kent pulls Dane up and set's him up for the Sweet Serenity, but Dane gives
Kent a hard back body drop, and then collapes on Kent, punishing him with left
and rights while Kent lies on the ground. Dane stands back up and kicks Kent
hard in the jaw. Blood slowly trickles from the edge of Anthason's lip.)

GP: Dane is going insane!

JT: Heh heh, stupid white rapper.

GP: ...

JT: What? You rhymed! White boy!

(Dane picks Kent up and slams him back down with a full-nelson suplex. He
then goes to the ropes, and leaps off for a splash. He drills it onto Kent. Dane
takes to the ropes and comes back with a springboard splash on Anthason.)

GP: Dane back in the match, and punishing Kent.

(Dane picks Kent up and nails him in the jaw with a fist. Kent nails one of his
own. Dane lands one. Kent lands one, Kent lands another, and takes Dane to
the ropes. Dane comes flying back, and Anthason pulls closeline. Matthews
hits the mat hard, and Kent takes to the cage.)

JT: No! Grab him, Dane! NO!

Shallow: Dane looks like he couldn't pull an apple off a tree, JT.

GP: Too bad he's moving.

Shallow: What?

(Dane stands back up slowly, grabbing his head for a few minutes. He notices
Kent on the cage. Matthews hops to his feet, and jumps on the top rope, while
he springs in the air he grabs Kent around the waist and falls back into a
German Suplex. Kent hits and flips backwards, he doesn't move.)

GP: THAT COULD'VE KILLED KENT ANTHASON! NO!!!

JT: YES!

(Dane goes to the ropes, and comes back with an elbow drop. He shoves Kent
into the turnbuckle, he savagely kicks Anthason in the side, and delivers chops
to his chest. Dane then finally gives one to Kent square in the jaw. Anthason
slumps down in the turnbuckle. Dane takes to the cage.)

JT: Dane Matthews is going to the cage side. He's trying to get out. Kent's
starting to move, also. Go, DANE! HURRY!

GP: No. Kent's getting up. How do these two do this?

(Kent reaches up to the rope, and pulls himself up. He see's Dane on the top
rope reaching for the top of the cage. Kent jumps up on the top turnbuckle, and
then spears Dane to the other turnbuckle. Matthews' back hits against the edge
of the turnbuckle, he then falls to the outside, and hits his head on the side of
the cage.)

GP: MY GOD! THESE TWO ARE KILLING EACH OTHER. DANE'S BLEEDING
FROM THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. KENT'S BLEEDING FROM HIS MOUTH.

(Kent jumps to the outside. He begins to viciously attack Dane Matthews with
punches, until he brings Matthews to his feet once again and slams his face
into the cage. Kent then shoves Matthews back in the ring, where Dane stands
up slowly. Kent makes his way back in and nails Dane with a kick to the jaw.
Kent delivers two more kicks to Dane's stomach and chest, and tops it off with
a spinning heel kick. Dane hits the mat, hard.)

GP: Kent assults Dane with a series of kicks, that leave Matthews almost
dead.

JT: Gah. Get the fuck up, Dane!

Shallow: Dane Matthews gives me the willies.

JT: ...

(Kent goes to the side of the cage and starts to climb out. Dane crawls on his
feet to the side of the cage, he follows Kent. Anthason makes it to the top, but
Dane grabs him before he makes his way back down the other side. Both stand
on the small top of the cage. They start to exchange punches. Kent throws one
that Dane ducks for. Kent about falls off the cage and to the outside, but Dane
catches him and sets him up before driving him back to the mat with a huge
spinebuster. Both men hit the ring hard, and lie bloody, and hurt.)

Shallow: There's no way these guys can take much more of this, both of them
are all sweaty and beat up. It's funny how a single steel cage can take out two
people.

JT: This isn't Philosophy 101, Shall-o.

Shallow: Shut up, JT.

(Both men are struggling to get up. Dane makes it up first, before he looks at
the slain Kent Anthason. Dane grabs his side, and looks over at the side of the
cage. He limps over to the turnbuckle, and climbs onto it. Dane grabs the steel
cage, and pulls him up. One hand slips and Dane falls back to the floor. Kent's
still lain out, and Dane grabs the cage once again and pulls himself up, up and
to the top of the cage. He stands on the top, and admires Kent from above, until
that is... The fans go absolutely nuts.)

Dane Matthews: I didn't know I was that popular.

(From nowhere, swings Sam Potright on some sort of cord. He scoops up
Dane. Dane squirms in the grasp of Potright, but he's too tired to fight out of it.
Potright waits until they're aligned with the turnbuckle. Potright let's go, and
Matthew's falls a good thirty feet onto the turnbuckle. His back bends in a weird
position.

GP: OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT? DANE MATTHEWS JUST FELL ON
THAT TURNBUCKLE BACK FIRST! HIS SPINE HAS TO BE BROKEN! HE'S
NOT MOVING! NEITHER IS KENT ANTHASON!

JT: And that stupid putz, Sam Potright is swinging over the cage.

(Sam makes a hand gesture to someone up in the rafters, all of a sudden Sam
drops extremely fast before stopping jerkily before hitting the ground. Potright
looks up and gives the finger to the rafters before unfastening himself.)

GP: What's Potright doing now?

Shallow: Hopefully nothing stupid.

JT: That's an understatement about Potright.

(Potright turns around and glares at JT, before opening the cage door, and
pulling out Kent Anthason. Kent awakens and Sam helps Kent to his feet. They
walk up the rampway. Potright hands Kent a brand new 3M shirt, and slaps him
on the shoulder. They make their way to the back.)

GP: KENT ANTHASON WINS BY THE HELP OF SAM POTRIGHT! THAT WAS
AN EXTREMELY GOOD MATCH.

("Cosmonaut" by At the Drive-In sounds, as the IWO-Tron turns to colour bars,
and the words "Mass Media Movement" fade in.)

JT: God, the EMT's are here to help Dane.

Shallow: The cage is being lifted, also. Stupid Cage. Too much violence, these
days.

(The EMT's help Dane up. He's awakened. They try to put him on a stretcher,
but Dane refuses. Matthews' wipes the blood out of his eyes, before walking up
the ramp way. About half way up, he turns around to look at the ring. We can
see him mumble "Fucking Potright." softly, before turning back around, and
leaving.)

**Commercial Break**

(The camera opens back up to the Fleet Center in Boston.. the crowd is buzzing
because they are about to witness the returns of two major stars in the history of the
IWO... Zombie and Syphon Fission...)

GP - HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME BACK TO THE IWO'S MONDAY NIGHT
MELTDOWN *LIVE* FROM THE FLEET CENTER!

JT - YES! I cannot wait for this! Zombie is going to come out and totally destroy
Syphon Fission! ZOMBIE IS THE MAN!

Shallow - I totally disagree. Zombie was never the athlete that Syphon Fission is, and
Syph is going to lay out the big dead asshole.

GP - This should be very interesting ladies and gentlemen.. will these men have the
ring rust that many have thought them to possess in their returns? Especially
concerning Zombie. Who knows what to expect from the big man? Will he be out,
intense and unforgiving as usual, or will we see a different, tired Zombie who can
barely throw a right hand? I mean, this isn't exactly a scared Evan Levine he's in the
ring with, it is Syphon Fission.

Shallow - But in turn, Syphon Fission could also be experiencing some significant ring
rust. We all know he still knows how to perform the Death Plunge after he killed Shawn
Arrows with it a short while back, but can he do much else?

GP - This is going to be a very interesting match to watch. When at their best, these
two are perhaps the two best. They both represent the IWO! Zombie, the cornerstone
at the start! Syphon Fission, the foundation now! Two very distinct styles! Two
differing personalities! BOTH former two time IWO World Champions! SUBMISSION
MATCH! AND IT'S COMING AT YOU NOW!!!!!!!!

(The crowd is buzzing with anticipation of the match they are about to witness..)

Shallow - My goosebumps have goosebumps!!

Ring Announcer - Introducing first...

("Come As You Are" by Nirvana hits.. the fans immeadietley start to boo..)

Ring Announcer - Standing at 6'11" and weighing in at 350 pounds.. he is a former two
time IWO World Heavyweight Champion and is the MASTER of the ZombiePlex...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

(Zombie steps out from the curtain to deafening jeers. He lifts both middle fingers in
the air and smiles smugly. He walks down the aisle and steps over the top rope into
the ring, and hits the top turnbuckle, raising his arms into a crucifix. The fans hate
him.)

GP - The fans hate him more than ever! What a reaction for the monster!

(The crowd has died down and now awaits his opponent....they are prepared to go
nuts..)

Ring Announcer - And his opponent!

("Papercut" by Linkin Park begins to play and THE CROWD HAS LOST IT! They are
going nuts!)

Shallow - WAIT! Zombie has just clotheslined the ring announcer! He is stomping
away at our poor ring announcer and he throws him over the top rope! Zombie grabs
the mic!

Zombie - Syphon, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE! NO MORE SHIT, NO MORE GAMES,
IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED!

(Syphon Fission RUNS OUT! THE CROWD IS GOING INSANE!)

GP - Look at Zombie's face! He is anticipating this greatly! He is begging Syphon to
get into the ring, and Syphon looks determined as ever! WHAT A MOMENT!
ZOMBIE V. SYPHON FISSION!!!

(Syphon slides into the ring..)

*DING DING DING*

Syphon slides into the ring but Zombie grabs the top rope for leverage and stomps the
hell out of Syphon. Zombie turns Syphon over so he is on his back and fires away
with stomps to his stomach. Syphon grabs Zombie by the ankle and trips him up,
enabling Syphon to get up. Syphon off the ropes, flying forearm takes Zombie off his
feet! Syphon grabs Zombie by the hair and hits a huge uppercut, sending Zombie into
the turnbuckle. Syphon backs up and runs, but Zombie moves, and Syphon goes in
sternum first! Zombie comes off the ropes, HUGE CLOTHESLINE THAT NEARLY
DECAPITATES SYPHON!

GP - Zombie is one tough, brutal son of a bitch..

JT - Syphon can't handle much more! GO ZOMBIE GO!

Zombie stops and soaks in all the boos the crowd is raining down onto him. He then
goes back to the assault, falling down on Syphon with a double ax-handle to the back,
sending Syphon back down, and Zombie is sitting on Syphons back and pounding
away at the back of his head with lefts and rights as Syphon tries to cover up. The
referee goes to pull Zombie off, but Zombie pushes him down!! Zombie continues to
destroy Syphon with punches! Zombie jerks Syphon up by the hair, and whips him
into the ropes, Syphon reverses, Syphon ducks a clothesline, Syphon.. pokes Zombie
in the eye and the fans love it! Syphon KICKS ZOMBIE RUT IN THE NUTS AND
ZOMBIE IS YELLING IN PAIN! Syphon off the ropes and catches Zombie in a
bulldog! Syphon is now on Zombie and shelling him with huge right hands to the
exposed forehead!

GP - Unreal!! Syphon is taking it to the big man!

Shallow - I told you guys! Zombie doesn't have the athletiscism that Zombie has!

Zombie pushes Syphon off of him and he looks really pissed off.

JT - BUT SYPHON DOESN'T HAVE THAT BULLY MENTALITY!

Zombie runs and hits a big boot that nearly kills Syphon. Zombie quickly picks
Syphon back up and hits a side suplex. Zombie off the ropes, quick elbow to the ribs.
Zombie is stomping away at the shoulder of Syphon Fission and he looks to be in a bit
of pain. Syphon is up on his feet, and Zombie kicks him in the gut, and tosses him
between his legs.. HUGE POWERBOMB!!!!! SYPHON MAY HAVE SNAPPED IN
HALF!

GP - OH MY!!! ZOMBIE WITH ONE OF HIS SIGNATURE MOVES AND SYPHON'S
SHOULDER IS IN TROUBLE!

Zombie throws Syphon into the corner and squashes him with an avalanche! Off the
re-coil, Zombie hits a falling neckbreaker. Zombie gives the finger to the crowd and
continues to kick Syphon's shoulder. Zombie pulls Syphon into posistion, puts him on
the second rope.. SECOND ROPE SAMBO SUPLEX!! SYPHON LANDED WITH
TREMENDOUS FORCE ON HIS SHOULDER!

GP - Zombie just might be too strong for Syphon to overcome!

JT - Zombie is beating the absolute hell out of Fission and that punk deserves it!

Zombie is calling for Fission to get up.. Syphon is wearily up.. ZOMBIE CHARGES!
SPEAR! HE JUST DROVE ALL 350 POUNDS INTO THE RIBS OF SYPHON AND
SYPHON IS HURT!

GP - I guess we can put to rest all the rumors of rust! These two have come to kill each
other!

Zombie nows ascends to the top rope!!

Shallow - What is the fatass doing????

ZOMBIE OFF THE TOP ROPE, BIG SPLASH CONNECTS WITH SYPHON AND
SYPHON IS ROLLING AROUND HOLDING HIS RIBS!! THE CROWD HATES
ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE IS LAUGHING WHILE POINTING AT SYPHON! Syphon looks
really angry! Syphon forces himself up, Zombie charges looking for the knockout
blow, Syphon ducks, Syphon backs up, Zombie charges again, SUPERKICK OUT OF
NOWHERE NEARLY TAKES ZOMBIE'S HEAD OFF!!!! SYPHON JUST HIT THE BIG
MOVE HE NEEDED TO GET HIM BACK IN THIS MATCH AND THE CROWD
LOVES IT!!

Shallow - This is it guys! This is where Syphon Fission takes over the match!

Zombie is stumbling around like Jake "The Snake" on a Saturday night.. Zombie on his
feet as Syphon is doubled over, sucking in air.. Syphon CHARGES, ANOTHER
SUPERKICK! ZOMBIE HITS THE MAT LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! THE CROWD IS
100% BEHIND SYPHON! Syphon slowly picks Zombie up.. DDT! Zombie's head
bounces off the mat! Syphon now grabs Zombie's leg, and brings it down hard onto
the mat! Syphon grabs Zombie's leg!! FIGURE FOUR IS APPLIED! Zombie in extreme
pain!

Shallow - Syphon has got it!! Syphon has got this match won!

JT - Who are you kidding?

Zombie is up barely, Syphon is really wrenching away, Zombie nails Syphon in the
head with a hard right hand which forces him to break the hold.. Zombie is up barely,
and grips Syphon across the neck, CHOKESLAM! Zombie has just swung the tide of
this match in his favor with that chokeslam that was performed pretty much on one
leg! The crowd is going crazy! Zombie has got it now! The killer look is in his eyes!
Zombie slides to the outside of the ring and grabs a steel chair and slides back in and
this is only trouble for Fission! Syphon is on all fours.. Zombie spits on Syphon's
back, DEVESTATING CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK AND SHOULDER! Zombie
stands above Syphon and brings the chair DOWN HARD into Syphon's injured
shoulder again and again and again! AND AGAIN!

GP - STOP!! HE'S GOING TO END HIS CAREER!

JT - DAMN RIGHT!

But Syphon is on his knees!!!

Shallow - Hey JT, look, it's you last night!

Syphon is trying to get up.. Zombie looks at Syphon with disgust and lifts the chair
over his head, and SLAMS IT DOWN OVER SYPHON'S FOREHEAD WITH A LOOK
OF ABSOLUTE INSANITY IN HIS EYES! THE CHAIR IS BROKEN AND STAINED
WITH SYPHON'S BLOOD! A small cut has opened now on Syphon's forehead and
Zombie is punching it, opening it up. Syphon is wearing the crimson mask! Zombie
laughs as he sees Syphon's blood on his hand. But look at Syphon! He sees the blood
on his face and LOOK! Syphon is on his feet! With one arm, he drills Zombie in the
head with a fist!

GP - Syphon Fission is tired of being bullied by Zombie! And now he looks to take
over!

Zombie looks stunned! Syphon is fighting with everything he has, drilling Zombie
with his good arm! Syphon kicks Zombie in the gut, rocker dropper! Syphon is back up
quick and he goes to the top rope... GULLOTINE LEGDROP ACROSS THE THROAT
AND ZOMBIE IS GASPING FOR AIR! Syphon off the ropes, big time shoulderblock
sends Zombie off his feet! Zombie is down and may be out! Syphon prepares for
another shoulderblock! He goes off the ropes, ZOMBIE UP AND CATCHES SYPHON
WITH A SPINEBUSTER THAT SHOOK THE RING!!!!! SYPHON AND ZOMBIE ARE
BOTH DOWN!!!

JT - That is why Zombie is the great wrestler that he is!

Zombie and Syphon are both wearily getting up! WHICH WRESTLER CAN DO IT??
Both men are up, inches away from each other.. Zombie cocks his arm, SYPHON HITS
FIRST, he's faster than the big man! Syphon peppers Zombie with fists to the head,
and dropkicks his leg out from under him! Syphon goes right back to the leg! THE
FANS ARE GOING BESERK! SYPHON PUTS ON THE FIGURE FOUR AGAIN AND
THIS MAY BE IT FOR ZOMBIE! Zombie is screaming in pain!

JT - NO! ZOMBIE!!!

Shallow - We haven't seem Zombie in pain like this before! Syphon is in control!

Syphon's face and hair are caked in blood! He looks determined as ever as he
wrenches Zombie's leg! The camera zooms into Zombie's face and he is in an extreme
amount of pain! How can he escape the figure four! Zombie grabs the steel chair...
AND SITS UP, AND HE BREAKS THE SEAT OVER SYPHON'S HEAD! SYPHON
SLUMPS DOWN UNCONCIOUS AND ZOMBIE IS ROLLING AROUND HOLDING
HIS LEG!

GP - ZOMBIE IS ABSOLUTELY VICIOUS! HE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO
WIN THIS MATCH!

Zombie is calling for the end of this match! He lifts up Syphon Fission and gets him
into posistion.. the crowd is buzzing... SUPERNOVA (Backdrop Driver)!!!!!!!!!!
SYPHON HAS BEEN DESTROYED BY THE SUPERNOVA~!!!!! THE CROWD IS
BOOING AS ZOMBIE STANDS ABOVE SYPHON AND DOES THE CRUCIFIX!

GP - The Supernova is a devestating move that could have just decided this match!
BUT WAIT! Zombie is rolling to the outside and he grabs a microphone!

Zombie rolls back into the ring and stands above Syphon Fission, who looks like he
was hit by a truck.. his limbs folded over his body and his face stained with blood.

Zombie - I TOLD THE WORLD I WOULD DESTROY SYPHON FISSION! No one
believed me! NO ONE! AND I HAVE PROVED YOU ALL WRONG! Because of your
idiocy, I'm not just going to end this match.. I'm going to end your care

SYPHON RISES UP! TESTICULAR CLAW! ZOMBIE DROPS THE MICROPHONE!
SYPHON GRABS IT AND RELEASES THE CLAW, AND SLAMS THE
MICROPHONE INTO ZOMBIE'S HEAD AND THE FANS GO NUTS! SYPHON
SIGNALS FOR IT! HE KICKS ZOMBIE! DEATH PLUNGE~!!!!!!!! DEATH PLUNGE~!
ZOMBIE IS STILL MOVING BUT BARELY! Syphon is standing, in huge pain, holding
his shoulder, but he is calling for Zombie to get up! Zombie is up.. DEATH PLUNGE
#2~~!!!!

JT - No!! No!! Come on Zombie!!!! GET UP!

GP - AMAZING AMAZING MATCH!

Syphon has got to go back to that leg if he wants to win this match! Syphon is still
hurting from the Supernova... he picks Zombie's leg up and the fans are going insane!
Syphon grabs the mic!

Syphon - *huff*.. Zombie, I told you that you, *huff* weren't as talented as I am.. only
I CAN DO COMMENTARY DOING MY OWN MATCHES!

(THE CROWD POPS BIG TIME!)

Syphon - Now, *huff*, I'M MAKING YOU TAP OUT!

Syphon twists Zombie's legs, but Zombie sits up, and kicks Syphon head over heels,
Syphon goes upside down back first into the ropes, BUT COMES OFF WITH A
SPRINGBOARD ELBOW AND ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THAT
MOVE??

Shallow - SYPHON! SYPHON!!

Zombie has some life but not much left... Syphon yells! He charges, Zombie scoops
him up into A MAMMOTH SHOULDERBREAKER! HIS SHOULDER WAS
PROBABLY JUST DISLOCATED! ZOMBIE JERKS HIM UP, TAZMISSION
APPLIED!!!!!

JT - IT'S OVER NOW!!! IT IS OVER!!!! ZOMBIE HAS GOT SYPHON FISSION BEAT!!
FORGET ABOUT IT!

ZOMBIE IS TOSSING SYPHON AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL WHILE PULLING HIM
BACK BY HIS SHOULDER IN THE TAZMISSION! SYPHON IS SCREAMING IN
PAIN AS THE BLOOD IS TRICKLING DOWN ALL OVER ZOMBIE'S HUGE ARMS!!
SYPHON NEEDS TO BREAK THE HOLD! HE CAN'T! Zombie is too strong! Zombie
drops down and wraps his legs around Syphon Fission! Syphon's shoulder is being
ripped from it's socket!

JT - YES YES! DESTROY HIM!

Shallow - n...n... no!! Come on Syphon!

GP - Can he escape?!?

Zombie continues to wrench away.. Syphon can't stand the pain anymore and he is
trying desperatley to reach for the ropes! The crowd is chanting "SYPHON SYPHON"
but it's to no avail.. Syphon is not quitting!!!! Syphon is trying to fight it.. SYPHON IS
FORCING ZOMBIE TO HIS FEET!!! ZOMBIE IS SHOCKED! SYPHON WITH A
TEXAS BACK KICK, LOW BLOW!!!! ZOMBIE RELEASES THE HOLD! SYPHON
BITCH SLAPS ZOMBIE RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE! THAT WOKE ZOMBIE UP!
ZOMBIE RUNS OVER SYPHON WITH A CLOTHESLINE AND NOW ZOMBIE
LOOKS LIKE HE IS GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY! Syphon up, SYPHON MY GOD
OUT OF NOWHERE THE DEATH PLUNGE #3~~~!!! SYPHON AND ZOMBIE ARE
BOTH OUT!!! THE REFEREE ADMINISTERS THE DOUBLE COUNT!!!
1....2..........3...........4.....

JT - NO! GET UP ZOMBIE!!!

Shallow - GET UP SYPHON!

GP - WHAT A MATCH!

5.............6.......Zombie is stirring......7........Syphon is stirring!.....8....Zombie on one
knee...9.....ZOMBIE AND SYPHON BOTH FALL BACK DOWN UNCONCIOUS..10!!!

*DING DING DING*

Winner - Draw, double KO

GP - WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE MATCH WE HAVE JUST SEEN! ZOMBIE AND
SYPHON FISSION JUST TORE THE HOUSE DOWN IN UNBELIEVABLE FASHION!
INCREDIBLE!!!!

(EMT's rush out to attend to Syphon Fission's shoulder and massive cut... Zombie is
up and looks to leave under his own power.. BUT ZOMBIE ISN'T FINISHED! HE
LOOKS ANGRIER THAN EVER! ZOMBIE GRABS SYPHON, PILEDRIVER!! ZOMBIE
RE-APPLIES THE TAZMISSION AND THIS COULD BE CAREER ENDING! EMT'S
ARE PRYING ZOMBIE OFF OF FISSION BUT IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE! SYPHON
AND ZOMBIE HAVE KILLED EACH OTHER HERE TODAY!)

GP - ZOMBIE IS A SICK SON OF A BITCH!

Shallow - You know that these two will hook it up again, maybe in a PPV main event,
and next time, Syphon will come out on top!

JT - YOU WISH!

(The fans are on their feet and applauding the efforts of these two men as the camera
fades to commercial...)

**Commercial Break**

Schitzo Tod -vs- (c) Sabastian Crow
{- Extreme Championship Title Match -}

[ ďSoberĒ by Tool plays over the speakers as the fans
erupt In a *pop* reaction. ]

Meghan: Introducing to the ring at this time, he Is
the challenger... SCHITZO TOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP: Finally ! We are down to a re-match between Crow
and Tod. The Extreme Championship Title Is up
for grabs ladies and gentlemen, and only one of these
two men, are going to walk away the winner.

JT: Itís defintantly going to be Crow ! Like Crow said
earlier tonight, nothing gets past him. And since
Schitzo Tod Is merely nothing but a weak sibling, like
Tom Ford...

GP: Hey ! You better watch It...

JT: Whatever !

[ A ďCrow SucksĒ chant starts going... Tod looks
around at the chanting audience and smiles... ]

Shallow: The crowd Is chanting Sabastian Crowís
name...

GP: Yeah ! Though, this Is just ringing to his ears.

JT: Ha ! Thatís so true Greg...

[ ďEnter SandmanĒ by Metallica blasts over the PA
speakers as the fans stop chanting and begin booing. ]

Meghan: And introducing the champion, he weighs In at
a straight weight of 300 pounds and stands at
6í7... all the way from Los Angeles, California...
accompianed by none other than, President Evan
Levine... SABASTIAN CROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Sabastian Crow walks out with the Extreme Title with
Evan behind him... ]

GP: Schitzo Tod -vs- Sabastian Crow. The re-match...
we are now seeing It...

JT: *Yawn*

GP: Sleepy JT ? I thought Sabastian Crow was your all
time IWO hero now ?

JT: Yeah ! But Itís just so boring to know the fact
that Sabastian Crow Is simply going to destroy Schitzo
Tod, less than a second, so why bother watching ?

GP: Well, maybe because Schitzo Tod just speared Crow
on the rampway ! And this match Is under-way...

JT: What !?!?!?

*The Bell Rings*

GP: Hardcore Rulez ladies and gentlemen. And Itís all
for the Extreme Championship, In which our
champion Is now, or so he claims, Sabastian Crow...

Shallow: Wait ! Tod just reached out In the crowd and
grabbed something, Itís a trash can lid !!!

JT: Who had that ?

Shallow: Beats me ! But Tod just struck the trash can
lid over the top of Crowís head... Crow Is down, and
so Is the trash can lid... Tod picks Crow back up and
slams his face into the guardrail... but Crow Is still
walking, heís stumbling though, Tod goes to attack
Crow from behind, but Crow turns around and hits a
hard punch to Todís face. Crow grabs hold of Tod and
throws his face onto steel !!! Crow just threw Todís
face onto the steel rampway, as Tod lies there...

GP: Exciting stuff eh JT ?

JT: Yeah ! Like I said, Crow will destroy Tod...

GP: Crow brings Tod back up now and hits a running
bulldog... holy !, did you just see that... with the
ability of Sabastian Crow, he just ran himself up to
the steel rampway, ramming Todís face into the steel
as well with a running bulldog !!! Amazing stuff...

JT: Thought you didnít like Crow, Greg ?

GP: I donít ! Itís just his ability right now, that
was great...

Shallow: Crow brings Tod back up now and walks him to
the curtains... where are they going ?

GP: I donít know... but from what Iím told, our
cameras canít follow them !?!?

JT: Why not !?!?

GP: Beats me... but wait a minute, look on the
rampway...

JT: Huh ?

[ The Tom Ford midget walks down to the ring and grabs
a microphone. ]

JT: Oh no ! Not this guy again...

Tom Ford Midget: ITíS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL ! ITíS A
SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL !
ITíS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL... ITíS A SMALL - SMALL -
WORLD !!!!!!!

GP: Hey JT ! Check It out, this midget sings that song
better than you can !!!

Tom Ford Midget: Hehe, now for my next number. I will
sing ďThe Bum Bum SongĒ and continue to
shake my butt at the crowd...

Drunk Fan In the Audience: AHHH SHUT THE HELL UP
!!!!!!!

[ A flying beer bottle soars into the ring and strikes
down the midget Tom Ford. ]

Tom Ford Midget: OUCHIE !!!!!

Lawnmower Man In the Audience: Donít worry ! This
wonít hurt a bit...

[ A lawnmower runs into the ring and slices up the Tom
Ford midget as blood spews everywhere. ]

JT: Whoa !

GP: Two very disturbing fans just assassinated the
midget Tom Ford !!!!

JT: Blood Is cool !

Shallow: Yeah...

[ The Schitzo Tod midget runs out and sees the Tom
Ford midget... ]

Schitzo Tod Midget: OH MY GOD !!!!!

[ The Schitzo Tod midget starts crying, as he drops to
his knees... ]

Schitzo Tod Midget: WHY !?!?!? WHY !?!?!?!?

Paul Bunyon In the Audience: INCOMING !!!!!!!

[ Suddenly, a ax comes flying In the ring and chops
the midget of Schitzo Todís head off. The head falls
on the mat, as the body tips over. ]

JT: Whoa...

Shallow: Talk about your Gladiator out-look...

JT: Yeah...

GP: Ok ! This Is getting disgusting...

Shallow: Yeah ! Anyways, IWO Cameraís have now tracked
down Schitzo Tod and Sabastian Crow...

[ We now go outside to a parking lot where we see
Sabastian Crow and Schitzo Tod fighting In front of a
bunch of cars. ]

JT: Whoa ! Itís that squared circle thingy...

GP: What ?

JT: Yeah ! Remember that match between Ken Shamrock
-vs- Steve Blackman ?

GP: ......

JT: Ugh ! Oh, whatever...

GP: Hmmm...

JT: What ?

GP: Well, If youíre talking about WWF. Then they
probably copied It off us first...

JT: Oh yeah ! Those assholes !!!

GP: Uh huh...

Shallow: That Is so sad. Anyways, back to our match
now. Crow just slammed Tod down onto the hood of
a car, heís now pounding away at his face, but Tod
pushes him off with a hard kick to the chest. Crow
lands against a steel post, Tod gets up and runs into
Crow with a hard clothesline. That didnít take the big
man down, but wait... Crow going for a powerslam...
can he hit It ? And he done It !!! Schitzo Tod just
landed Sabastian Crow straight on concrete !!!

JT: Schitzo Tod goes for a cover... the referee jumps
to make It...

1...

KICKOUT !

JT: YaY ! Sabastian Crow kicked out of Todís cover...
I knew he would !!!

GP: Schitzo Tod walks away from Crow, trying to find
something to fight with It looks... Crow gets back
up, Tod turns around, and Crow hits Tod with a loud
smashing superkick to the face !!! Ouch ! Tod falls
back against a car and Crow rams his elbow into Todís
chest. Crow liftís Tod up now and sidewalk slam.
Straight to the concrete...

Shallow: Now, Crow Is going for a cover... can he
retain the title now ?

1...

KICKOUT !

Shallow: Ah hell no ! Sabastian Crow kicks out as
well...

GP: Sabastian Crow lifts Schitzo Tod back up now... he
tosses him onto the hood of a car, he jumps up
onto the car as well, he lifts up Todís head and... oh
my God...

JT: Yes ! Heís going to throw Schitzo Todís face into
the windsheild of a car again !!!

Shallow: Uh-oh...

GP: Sabastian Crow goes to throw Todís face into the
windsheild, but the glass doesnít break... Crow
grabs hold of his head again, but out of desperation,
Tod throws his head up and headbuttís Crow straight
In the chin... Crow stumbles back on the hood some...
Tod Is able to turn over, and he sends a targeted
low blow straight to Crowís groin area !!!!!!

JT: Oh no ! This isnít good...

GP: Sabastian Crow goes down, for the second time
tonight !!! Schitzo Tod rises back up, he places
Crowís head under his arm... DDT COMING UP !!!!... NO
WAIT...

[ Schitzo Tod flys up into the air and slams back down
with the ADD. ]

JT: WHAT ! Thatís Joey Maloneís move !!!

GP: Schitzo Tod just struck Sabastian Crow with the
Arizona Death Drop !!!

JT: Joey Maloneís own move...

GP: Schitzo Tod turns Sabastian Crow over... sheesh !
Look at the dent In that hood !!!

Shallow: I think weíre going to have and call for a
machanic !!!

GP: Schitzo Tod makes the cover on Crow... he could
have him !!!

1...

2......

KICKOUT !!!

GP: NO !

JT: I guess he doesnít, hehe...

Shallow: Sabastian Crow kicked out of the Arizona
Death Drop, but heís practicually still knocked out.
If
Schitzo Tod was smart enough, heíll try to cover Crow
again, and he might just become the new Extreme
Champion. But no, Tod lifts Crow back up and tosses
him to the concrete ground... Crow Is crawling on
the concrete, trying to get back up... Crow stands
back up, but Tod lifts up a Toxic Waste Barrel...

JT: What !?!? That thing better be empty...

Shallow: Crow turns around, Tod slams the Toxic Waste
Barrel at Crow... but Crow catches the barrel,
both Tod and Crow are holding It, theyíre going face
to face, trying to fight off the pressure of each
other... but suddenly, Crow kicks Tod In the gut, Crow
takes the advantage with the barrel and slams It
down onto Todís head. Tod falls to the concrete...
Crow, still with the Toxic Waste Barrel, just tosses
It
straight onto the chest of Tod.

GP: Tod Is screaming In pain !!!

JT: Sheesh ! What actually, do those things weigh ?

GP: A ton of pounds just landed on Schitzo Tod...

JT: Well, that explains It...

GP: Sabastian Crow kicks the Toxic Waste Barrel to the
side, he lifts up Tod, he sets him up... whatís this
going to be ?

*SMASH*

GP: Oh crap ! Sabastian Crow just powerbombed Schitzo
Tod, straight onto that Toxic Waste Barrel...
and whoa ! The Toxic Waste Barrel busted from the
impact, and now toxic waste Is pouring from the
sides...

JT: Damn ! I guess that thing wasnít empty after-all
!?!?

GP: Schitzo Tod Is feeling the pain from the impact...
he moves the sides, and off of the Toxic Waste
Barrel. Sabastian Crow lifts Tod back up and runs him
into the door, Sabastian Crow turns the knob on
the door and kicks It open. He sends a punch to Todís
face... only to throw Tod into the room later on...

JT: Where are they going ? IWO Cameraís are following
Crow and Tod through the room... and wait a
minute, Is that a balcony ??? Holy Shit !, how far up
was that parking lot ?

GP: Thereís a balcony on this arena... not the roof,
but a balcony... Crow leads Tod there, but wait a
minute, Tod Is fighting back... he sends a elbow to
Crows chest, Tod charges at Crow with a clothesline,
but Crow blocks It... he kicks Tod In the face with a
huge boot... Tod falls back against the railing, but
Crow grabs hold of Tod again, CHOKE HOLD !!!!
Sabastian Crow lifts Schitzo Tod up In the air,
holding onto his throat, slams around and throws Tod
straight into the wall. Tod falls back against the
wall, landing on the ground... Schitzo Tod appears to
be out of It !!!

Shallow: Sabastian Crow Is leaning over the railing...
trying to get a breath of air, man ! That balcony
must be stories up, because the height of those
buildings and stuff... Itís markable...

JT: WAIT ! Sabastian Crow just went down In pain !!!

GP: What happened ???

Shallow: Sabastian Crow turns around and... and...
Itís a Midget Onslaught ?

GP: Whatís that prick doing there ?

Midget Onslaught: I Hate You !!! You ruined me Crow...
you ruined me !!! I am the Greatest, ya hear ? I
am the Greatest !!! WHOOOOOO !!!!!

Sabastian Crow: ARG !!!...

GP: Wait a minute ! Sabastian Crow has the Midget
Onslaught, he lifts him up In the air and...

Sabastian Crow: ... Later Dip Shit !!!!

GP: WHOA ! Sabastian Crow just tossed the Midget
Onslaught over the balcony...

Midget Onslaught:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!

GP: The Midget Onslaught has to be dead after that
fall !!!!

[ Sabastian Crow laughs and brushes off his hands... ]

(From Below the Building) Midget Onslaught: Iím Ok !!!

GP: Guess not...

Shallow & JT: =(

Sabastian Crow: Huh !?!?

[ Sabastian Crow looks over the edge... ]

(From Below the Building) Midget Onslaught: Haha ! You
canít kill me !!!

Sabastian Crow: Grrr...

GP: Wait a minute ! Now, what Is Sabastian Crow doing
???

Shallow: He pulls a penny from his pocket and tosses
It over the railing.

[ 2 Seconds Later... ]

(From Below the Building) Midget Onslaught: AHHHHHH...
*ugh* (Dies)

Shallow: Now heís dead...

GP & JT: =)

GP: But wait ! From behind Crow, Schitzo Tod Is back
up and he has barb wire In his hands... he wraps It
around Crowís neck... Crow Is holding onto the barb
wire, trying to get Tod to release, but Tod Is simply
choking the life out of Crow...

JT: Dammit ! Thatís illegal...

GP: Is not ! This Is a Extreme Title match !!!

JT: Oh yeah...

GP: Idiot...

Shallow: Blood Is pouring out from Sabastian Crowís
neck... Crow Is coughing, Schitzo Tod wonít
release the wire !!! But wait, Crow gets It released a
bit, he places Tod In a headlock and pulls him closer
to him... Crow Is still coughing, but he chokes Tod In
that headlock... Tod releases the barb wire from
Crow, Crow sends a back hand to Todís face, he pushes
him forward and Tod lands against the railing
and WHOA ! Tod almost went over...

GP: Yeah ! But Crow caught him, he grabs hold of the
barb wire, and places It around Todís neck...
Sabastian Crow Is choking Schitzo Tod now !!!

JT: But not anymore ! Sabastian Crow just delivered a
reversed running bulldog !!! Sabastian Crow now
goes for a cover... he might have It...

1...

2......

KICKOUT !!!

JT: HOLY CRAP !!!!!

GP: Sabastian Crow kicked ou... I mean, Schitzo Tod
kicked out !!! That Is just too hard to believe, both
these men have gone through some heavy punishment, and
theyíre still going !!!

Shallow: Sabastian Crow grabs hold of Schitzo Tod
now... he walks him into the parking lot again, but
wait, Crow kicks In another door and tosses Tod In
there... WAIT ! OUR CAMERAS CAUGHT WHERE
THAT DOOR LEAD !!!.. Crow just tossed Schitzo Tod down
a flat of stairs !!!

JT: This Is great ! Sabastian Crow Is leading Schitzo
Tod back to the ring !!!

Shallow: Not so good... look at the damage Crow has
already caused Schitzo Tod... now, he just threw
him down a flat of stairs !!!

GP: Tod finally lands at the bottom of the stairs...
heís motionless ! No !, Schitzo Tod Is still moving,
heís
crawling, trying to find something so heíll stand back
up.

JT: Here comes Sabastian Crow though... he grabs hold
of Schitzo Tod and tosses him through the curtain
and onto the stage... THEYíRE BACK !!!!!

[ The fans go nuts. ]

Shallow: The fans are loving the action !!! Sabastian
Crow grabs hold of Schitzo Tod once again, he runs
him into the ring and slams his face onto the apron...
Greg, I think Tod has had It !!!

GP: Iím not too sure of that yet...

JT: I think so ! Sabastian Crow rolls Schitzo Tod into
the ring... Crow gets into the ring as well, the
referee slides In... Sabastian Crow smiles and falls
over a bloody Schitzo Tod... thereís the cover...

1...

GP: This canít be !!!

2......

GP: No ! Kickout Tod, come on !!!

3......... !!!!!!

[ ďEnter SandmanĒ by Metallica blares over the PA
speakers as the fans begin throwing objects into the
ring, booing at the champion. ]

GP: NO !!! This Is bullshit !!!

[ Sabastian Crow gets on one knee and shakes his
head... as blood pours from him as well... ]

Meghan: The winner of this match... and STILL EXTREME
CHAMPION OF THE IWO... SABASTIAN
CROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shallow: Greg, you got to admit though ! Both men gave
It there all tonight...

GP: Yeah ! But I think this Is still, far from over...
no matter how much of a good match that was !!!

[ Suddenly, ďHail to the ChiefĒ starts playing over
the PA speakers. ]

GP: WAIT A MINUTE !!!

JT: Now what Is going to happen !?!?!?

(VP Ford walks up onto the stage, angered, with a
microphone.)

VP Ford:That's it, I am sincerly sick and tired of
everything that's been going on. On Hostile Takeover,
Schitzo Tod, and Sabastian Crow, will square off
against the Suicide Kings for the tag team titles! And
if they try to lose, or hit one another, they WILL be
FIRED!

GP: SABASTIAN CROW AND SCHITZO TOD !!!!! I donít
believe this !, they will be competing this
Friday night for the Tag Team Titles !!!

JT: I didnít even see this coming !!! How could I have
missed this ?

Shallow: Sabastian Crow and Schitzo Tod -vs- The
Suicide Kings this Friday night on Hostile Takeover...
and If they try to lose, theyíre both FIRED !!!!!

JT: God ! I canít miss this...

GP: What a match !!! And wait a minute... Crow turns
around, and thereís Schitzo Tod !!!... Schitzo Tod
hitís yet another, one of Joey Maloneís famous
ADDís... Arizona Death Drop !!!! Sabastian Crow goes
down, he has been laid out !!!

[ Schitzo Tod stumbles back up and holds himself
against the ropes for leverage... ]

JT: Oh no ! How are these two ever gonna excist !?!?!?

[ ďSoberĒ by Tool blasts over the PA speakers as
Schitzo Tod rolls out of the ring... Meghan has the
Exteme Gold In her hands, but Schitzo Tod swipes from
her and holds It above his hand... the fans go
nuts... ]

JT: Wait a minute ! Thatís Sabastian Crowís Gold !!!

[ Schitzo Tod smiles and starts walking away with the
Extreme Title... ]

GP: Oh my ! Schitzo Tod has just captured the Extreme
Gold from Sabastian Crow !!!

JT: Captured ? No ! Schitzo Tod has simply stole
Sabastian Crowís property !!!

GP: And heís walking away with It... Crow Is still
laid out In the center of the ring, thanks to the ADD
!!!

Shallow: God ! We have to go to commercials...

[ Commercial Break. ]

[ We open up backstage to where we see a black limo
parked. Coming from the parking lot, we see Evan
Levine and Sabastian Crow, Crow with his gym bag and
Extreme Title In hand, as they laugh about their
damages. ]

Sabastian Crow: Man ! Did you see that shot ? I mean,
Iím talking about *BOOM* !!!!!!!!!

President Evan Levine: Haha !!! Those two dicks didnít
even see It coming...

Sabastian Crow: Hehe, so true...

[ Sabastian Crow opens up the door to the limo as Evan
Levine steps inside. He sits down on the couch, as
Crow Is about to get In as well until a official
approaches the limo. ]

IWO Official: Yo Crow !, wait a minute...

[ Crow waits and looks at the official. ]

Sabastian Crow: What do you want ?

IWO Official: You canít leave the arena tonight !!!
You got a match against Schitzo Tod, defending the
Extreme Championship !!!!

Sabastian Crow: Oh !, thatís right... I do got a
match, I completely forgot...

[ Crow looks In the limo at Evan. ]

Sabastian Crow: Did you remember about my Extreme
Title match ?

President Evan Levine: Nope ! Been so busy, I forgot
everything...

Sabastian Crow: Yeah, me too ! Oh well... you see, as
IWO Extreme Champion, I donít really feel like
defending my Gold tonight, so you go tell Schitzo Tod
that, mmmk ?

IWO Official: But you have to defend It ! You canít
leave this arena until you do...

Sabastian Crow: Oh yeah ?

IWO Official: Yeah !

Sabastian Crow: =)

IWO Official: ......

Sabastian Crow: Watch me !

[ Sabastian Crow gets In the limo, shuts the door, as
the limo drives off, leaving the IWO Official out
there... ]

IWO Official: Ah boy !, I got to tell Tom Ford...

[ The IWO Official runs off to Tom Fords office as the
scene fades off. ]

(Scene cuts to Keri Lindum, in the locker rooms, who is sitting with
Kent Anthason and the Suicide Kings, because she can't get to Joey's
locker room or the women's locker room next to Joey's, due to the
restraining order between the two. Keri is wearing a long-sleeved silk
black shirt and a dark red skirt, while Anthason and the Kings are
wearing their wrestling gear, despite not being booked. She seems really
down for some reason, and it probably has to do with last Meltdown.)

Jeff King: Hey, don't look so unhappy. Sure, your boyfriend is a
complete loser, but that doesn't mean you should be depressed.

Keri Lindum: Gee, Jeff, thanks for the moral support.

(Keri just falls forward, covering her beautiful face behind her arms.)

Jeff King: I'm sorry, geez...

Kent Anthason: All Jeff is saying is that you shouldn't be sad. Joey'll
get that restraining order overturned.

Ryan King: Yeah.

Keri Lindum: I hope so. I'm going to go get something to drink.

(Keri leaves.)

Ryan King: ...why does Joey get all of the pretty chicks?

Jeff King: I have no idea, bro.

(Fade to announcers.)

GP: Yay, we're back.

JT: Yeah, yeah, well, I just want to see Malone lose this one. Stupid
bastard...

GP: Well, Joey Malone has his work cut out for him, because tonight,
it's his shot at the world title and the cancellation of the restraining
order between himself and Keri Lindum, against his own self-humiliation
via having "I'm Donnie Daze's Bitch" branded on his rectum.

Shallow: The ring technicians are busy putting the exploding chairs in,
so we'll check with Joey Malone, standing by with IWO reporter ChŤ
Clikoob.

(Scene cut to the backstage, where Joey Malone stands with ChŤ Clikoob.)

ChŤ Clikoob: Joey Malone, you're just moments away from one of the
biggest matches of your career, a match where your future with Keri
Lindum, your shot at the IWO World Title, and your shot at a perfectly
safe ass are all on the line. How do you feel?

Joey Malone: I'm not sure. Should I feel happy and shiny? Should I feel
irritated and annoyed? Should I feel like chicken tonight? I guess the
only way you're gonna find out how I feel is if I beat the rice pudding
out of my opponents tonight. Good day.

(Joey leaves, fade to the announcers.)

GP: Umm... ooookkkaaaaayy.... our ring's all set up, so let's get to the
ringside announcements!

*ding, ding, ding*

Meygon: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a handicap
exploding chairs match!

(Crowd pops.)

Meygon: First...

("Your Disease" by Saliva plays as the crowd just boos the hell out of
Joey Legion and Matt Senate, before they even come out. Hell isn't the
only thing booed out of Legion and Senate, because they come out and get
more boos. Legion and Senate are both wearing anti-Boston T-shirts, and
just getting booed to relentlessness because of it.)

Meygon: From Port St. Lucie, Florida... at a total combined weight of
three hundred and eighty-five pounds... they are the managers of Donnie
Daze, and they are being accompanied by Donnie Daze... ladies and
gentlemen, they are Joey Legion, and Matttt Senate!!

(The two managers climb into the ring and get ready for their match.
"Your Disease" stops playing.)

Meygon: And their opponent...

(The lights go out, and the guitar chords of "Shame" by BT start up. The
fans give an unearthly pop, the kind TNN has long searched for, but
never will get. The guitar chords segue into the song itself, and this
causes a huge pyrotechnic explosion right at the entryway. Joey Malone
stands where the explosion happens, literally three milliseconds after
it occurs. The crowd just goes bananas, and one has to wonder when the
monkeys will come by to take those bananas back. He heads to the ring.)

Meygon: He's from Phoenix, Arizona... weighing in at two hundred and
forty-nine pounds... he is a former IWO North American, Pacific, United
States, World Tag, and Intercontinental Tag Team champion... he is the
master of the Everest Cataclysm and the Arizona Death Drop, ladies and
gentlemen... he is JOOOOOOEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY
MAAAAALLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!

(Malone walks calmly to the ring and gets in, and Legion and Senate jump
him.)

*ding, ding, ding*

GP: And already, Legion and Senate are double-teaming Malone! There's a
double irish whip, but Malone ducks the double clothesline by Legion and
Senate... and there's a double clothesline of Malone's own! Malone just
took down Daze's managers! Legion's back up, and Joey knocks him back
down! Senate's up! Senate's down!

JT: WEST SIDE!

GP: Shut up.

Shallow: Malone picks up Senate again and irish whips him in! No, Senate
reverses! And...

(Daze hits Malone in the back as he comes into the ropes.)

GP: HEY! Damn you, Daze!

JT: Yes! And now, Senate nails Malone with a DDT! Senate covers, one...
two... NO!

GP: Now Legion's back up and he goes to irish whip Malone into the
exploding chairs, but Malone reverses!

*BOOM!*

GP: AND LEGION MIGHT BE DOWN FOR GOOD!

JT: Malone, though, just left himself open for a Russian legsweep by
Matt Senate! Now Senate goes up top! Yes, this could be that Flipping
Legdrop move he was talking about! Senate leaps!

GP: But Malone moved out of the way in the nick of time! Senate just
landed right flat on his ass!

Shallow: Legion's back up, but he's still shaking from the explosion
earlier! Malone's getting to his feet, Malone kicks Legion in the gut!
Double underhook! He's going to hit Everest Cataclysm on Legion!

GP: WAIT! THAT DAMN DAZE IS IN THE RING! MALONE PICKS LEGION UP FOR
THE
CATACLYSM, BUT DAZE JUST PULLED LEGION OFF OF MALONE'S SHOULDER!

JT: Daze goes for a right hand, but Malone ducks it! Dammit, no!

GP: Malone hooks Daze in for a katihajime, but Legion and Senate are
both up and they both club Malone in the back to make him release Daze!
Now Legion and Senate both pick up Malone! Double back suplex! Senate
covers Malone! One... two... NO! Malone kicks out!

Shallow: Now Legion picks up Malone and holds him up on his shoulders!
Senate is heading to the top rope, again, but Malone is fighting out of
the shoulder mount! Malone lands behind Legion, and shoves him into the
corner!

*BOOM!*

JT: OWWWW!!!

GP: Legion just got blown up AGAIN, and Senate gets crotched in the same
corner! Senate's testicles might not be the same after that! Malone is
climbing up the ropes, he's looking for something off the top!

(Malone hooks Senate like he's going to go for a Sky High.)

JT: NO! DON'T DO IT! NOT THE ARIZONA DEATH DROP!

Shallow: But Daze just attacked Malone from behind, again! Daze picks up
Malone for that shoulder mount! Senate's climbing back up to the top!

JT: YES! YES! MISSILE DROPKICK BY MATT SENATE TO JOEY MALONE ON
DAZE'S
SHOULDERS! WE'RE GONNA SEE A BRANDING AFTER ALL!

GP: Malone is down, and Senate goes for the cover! One... two... thr-NO!
MALONE KICKED OUT!

Shallow: Hey! Who's that heading to the ring?!

GP: It's Keri Lindum! But that would violate the restraining order!

JT: Daze doesn't see her, but she's well within that fifty foot radius
of Malone, now! Senate is meanwhile irish whipping Malone into another
damn corner!

*BOOM!*

JT: AND DING-DONG, MALONE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!

GP: Senate goes for the cover, one... two... thr-NO! Malone kicks out
again! Now Senate's getting mad! Senate is setting Malone up on the top
turnbuckle, and he goes for a super rana, but Malone is punching Senate
right off the top rope! Senate lands on his feet on the canvas, and...

Shallow: WAIT! KERI LINDUM JUST THREW A CHAIR INTO SENATE'S HANDS!

*SMACK!*

GP: MALONE WITH A DROPKICK INTO THE CHAIR! SENATE'S OUT! DAZE
CAN'T
BELIEVE IT!

JT: Malone doesn't cover Senate! He's still wobbily from the explosion
earlier, but Legion is just now getting to his feet! Malone kicks Legion
in the gut! Double underhook... DAMMIT, NO!

GP: EVEREST CATACLYSM! RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL FUCKING CHAIR FROM
THE
DROPKICK! MALONE JUST DESTROY JOEY LEGION WITH IT! MALONE COVERS!
ONE...
TWO... SHIT! DAZE PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!

Shallow: Daze is beating the hell out of the referee, but look at
Malone! Malone leaps over the top with a tope con hilo! Now Malone is
just beating the hell out of Daze with right hands! Now Malone gets back
into the ring, again! Another referee is out! Senate is back up and he
charges in on Malone! But Malone hotshots Senate up and over his
shoulder!

*BOOM!*

Shallow: RIGHT INTO THE LAST EXPLOSIVE CORNER! MALONE CALLS FOR BAD
MOON
RISING! MALONE IS GOING UP TOP!

(Malone climbs up to the top rope, raises the old "Rings of Saturn"
signal, leaps off, and spreads his arms out, landing the swandive
headbutt on Matt Senate.)

JT: NOOO!!!

GP: Yes! Bad Moon Rising to Matt Senate! Malone puts an arm over Matt
Senate! One... two.... THREE! YES!

*ding, ding, ding*

JT: DAMMIT! THAT STUPID KERI JUST COST MY HEROES THE CHANCE TO
BRAND
MALONE! DAMMIT!

(Keri runs into the ring and nearly crushes Malone with a simple hug.)

GP: Malone's the number one contender to the IWO World Title! The
restraining order has been lifted, and Donnie Daze is sitting on the
outside in complete shock! Folks, we'll be right back!

(We fade into the backstage area, as we see Flyer
trying to recover from the Scaffold match from earlier
in the evening. He is at the water cooler, filling up
his drink, when Tony Davis walks by, and bumps him.
Flyer and Davis both turn around, and both stare each
other down, when Tammy Cradle comes out from a side
direction.)

Tammy:Guys! Calm down! Can you please just put this
aside... for sake of family?

(Flyer and Davis continue to stare a hole through one
another, not budging from each other, standing face to
face.)

Tammy:Listen, can't you guys just let bygones be
bygones? For the sake of me?

(Flyer and Tony both begin to let their guard down.)

GP:Tammy is loved by both Flyer and Tony... something
is bound to break down that hatred, and I think that's
the only person that could.

JT:Yadda yadda yadda.

Tammy:Please... do you think you guys... could maybe
go back to the old days? The days of Team
V.I.A.G.R.A.? The days when you two were... Friends?

GP:Do you think? Do you think we could be
witnessing... a REBIRTH!?!

Shallow:I... I wouldn't know what to say....

Tammy:Please... for me?

Flyer:Listen... if you want me to let bygones be
bygones, just have him appologize, and this entire
thing will be done and over with... okay Tammy?

Tammy:Tony... will you do that? For Me? Please??

Davis:Flyer... I don't like you, and I probably won't
ever again, but I appologize, simply for the sake of
family.

Flyer:....

(Flyer extends his hand to Davis, who in return
applies a handshake. They break apart, as Flyer slowly
walks away, his own direction.)

Shallow:TEAM V.I.A.G.R.A. IS BACK! DEAR GOD! I can't
believe it!

JT:BUT HOW LONG WILL IT LAST?!?

**Commercial Break or something**

("Current Of Love" by David Hasselhoff plays as Cyanide makes his way to the ring...)

GP: HEY! HEY HEY! I DIDN'T GET TO SAY WE'RE BACK! Asses in the production
truck... I oughtta...

JT: ... Lose some weight.

GP: Excuse me?

(Shallow laughs.)

JT: Lose some weight. Lose the poundage. Shrink down.

GP: You think so?

JT: HELL YES!

(Cyanide has gotten in the ring. "Your Disease" by Saliva plays, the crowd boos, and
we've got a World champion heading down to the ring.)

GP: Is it the stripes?

JT: NO! You're just FAT. Live with it.

GP: Is it the white clothes? Black makes you thinner...

JT: YOU'RE FAT! OKAY?! FAT FAT FAT! F-A-T FAT!

GP: :-(

JT: The truth hurts sometimes.

GP: Well... anyway... Donnie Daze is in the ring... and there are TABLES
EVERYWHERE. We've got them stacked everywhere, there are tables behind us, in
front of us...

JT: I feel like this is Table-Land and I am God of Tables.

(A long silence...)

Shallow: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!

GP: Um... Daze and Cyanide lock up. Remember... they can put each other through
table after table after table, but they need to do something more extreme with them to
win it! Daze and Cyanide push up against each other... hold, on, Daze breaks it off!

(Donnie reaches out and waves a hand to Meygon. When she gets close enough -- he
snatches the mic from her hand.)

Daze: Cyanide... can I just say something?

(He looks around.)

Daze: YOU STINK! Geez, did you go swimming in the Boston Aquarium? Christ! I
know that this town smells bad enough as it is... BUT YOU TAKE THE CAKE!

(Cyanide gets pretty pissed. This COULD effect his lieguard duties, you know, if he
smells. He charges Daze, and Daze drops the mic...)

GP: DAZE BACKDROPS CYANIDE TO THE OUTSIDE! THROUGH THE TABLE!
GOOD GOD, GOOD GOD! CYANIDE JUST MADE THE TABLE RIGHT IN FRONT OF
US EXPLODE! HE MIGHT BE OUT... and Daze simply smiles and raises his arms in
victory. Ain't that just POI-FECT.

JT: You're from New York, Greg?

GP: No..

JT: So why'd you go POI-FECT?

Shallow: He's got a good point.

GP: Can't I talk in whatever accent I want to?

JT: No, you can't!

Shallow: Geez... JT is really riding Greg tonight.

JT: Are you saying I'm gay, Shallow?

Shallow: No! What's with you and homosexuality?

JT: Well, everything in the IWO seems so GAY lately.

Shallow: What the HELL are you talking about?

GP: Oh, shut up, both of you. Daze comes to the outside and picks up Cyanide by his
hair... and throws him into the ring. Daze goes and gets a table... but Cyanide's on his
feet again!

JT: That was a quick recovery! What the hell! Cyanide backs into the center of the
ring, Daze has the table in his hands... he can't even see outside of it! Cyanide dives
through the ropes, SUICIDE DIVES HIMSELF THROUGH THE TABLE TO GET
DAZE! COOOOOOL!

Shallow: Painful! Cyanide and Daze are right in front of us, down, probably out!
Cyanide's head was the first thing that hit that table... Daze is stirring from behind the
wreckage... he tosses some parts of that table off of him! He's on his feet... woozy...
now he's got his hands on our table, as he regains his composure... he coughs...

JT: QUIT CALLING EVERY GODDAMN THING HE DOES!

Shallow: I CAN DO THAT IF I WANT TO! Daze back to his senses, gives Cyanide a
quick kick to his face! This brings Cyanide awake, and now Daze is picking him up...

GP: Cyanide... HE GRABS A PIECE OF THE TABLE AND GUT-CHECKS DAZE WITH
IT! GRABS DAZE BY THE HAIR AND SLAMS HIM WITH FORCE ON OUR TABLE!
AGAIN! HE THROWS DAZE INTO THE GUARDRAIL, AND CONNECTS WITH THE
HARDEST DAMN SWING OF A FOREIGN WEAPON I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY
LIFE! DAZE IS ONLY STANDING UP THANKS TO THE GUARDRAIL!

JT: WOW! Cyanide throws Daze into the post! Daze falls to the ground... Cyanide
reaches under the ring, pulls out a... bag! And what a bag it is!

Shallow: It's sand!

JT: How can you tell?

Shallow: It says "sand" right on the side, blind boy! Cyanide picks the bag up... and
Daze moves out of the way! That could have cracked his neck! Suppressed it! Cyanide
goes for another swing... it hits the post! Cyanide 0-for-2 on "Hit The Daze"! Daze
from behind, trips Cyanide, Cyanide into the bag of sand! All that dusty dirty sand...

JT: Dusty? Dirty? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S SAND!

Shallow: Sand can be bad.

GP: Daze pulls Cyanide out of the sand bag, takes him to a table... he sticks Cyanide
between his legs... picks him up... OUTSIDER'S EDGE TIME! WE HAVE BARELY
EVER SEEN THIS IN WRESTLING ANYMORE! HE'S GOING TO PUT HIM THROUGH
THE TABLE WITH THAT! But Cyanide slips down! Turns Daze around, kick to the
stomach, Daze goes up, and OUTSIDER'S EDGE BY CYANIDE PUTS DAZE
THROUGH A TABLE!

JT: Cyanide claps for himself... he pulls Daze out of the table wreckage, throws him
into the ring... this has been crazy so far. Cyanide in after him, stomp to the gut, stomp
to the head, and Cyanide goes right back out... grabs a table, and goes right back in...
he sets it up inside, goes, grabs the sand... OHHHH! I get it! He's gonna use the sand
as the "something extra" to take Daze out with!

Shallow: Cyanide grabs Daze... sets him on the table... he's going up to the top... this is
irregular for Cyanide. Very irregular... hold on, Daze up! Daze is up! He's climbing up
the top rope... he's up there... SUPERPLEX, BUT CYANIDE TURNS ON TOP OF HIM!
WHAAAA-BAMMM! BOTH MEN THROUGH THE TABLE!

*DING DING DING!*

GP: WHO WON? WHO WON? CYANIDE OR DAZE? NEW CHAMP OR NOT?

JT: I DON'T KNOW! THIS IS STRANGE!

(The referee gets outside the ring... he talks with Meygon.)

Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has informed me that Donnie Daze... is...
STILL THE IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

GP: DAMMIT!

JT: YESSSS!

Meygon: Therefore... here is your winner... AND STILL IWO CHAMPION... DONNIE
DAZE!

GP: Well... this rule may have to be taken account for...

(There's a replay of the finale. Cyanide flips on top of Daze... which means that
Cyanide put Daze through the table.)

GP: See? Cyanide technically put Daze through the table...

(The ref gets in the ring. Daze is still down... Cyanide gets in the face of the ref.)

JT: He lost, fair and square. There's no denying it.

GP: Yeah, well... that ref's a punk! Look at the long hair!

Shallow: I've actually never seen that guy before...

(The ref says some smart-ass comment.)

GP: CYANIDE KNOCKS THE REF FOR A LOOP! ... WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! WAIT
A GODDAMN MINUTE, HERE! THAT'S.... THAT'S MATT SENATE! DONNIE
DAZE'S OWN MANAGER WAS REFEREEING THIS CONTEST! Daze is up! DAZED
AND CONFUSED ON CYANIDE! He grabs the sand bag... and DROPS IT ON THE
HEAD OF THE SHOULD-BE IWO CHAMPION! What the hell! WHAT THE HELL!

(Daze picks up the bag, and prepares to drop it again... when the arena goes black. The
crowd pops, 'cuz blackouts are cool.)

GP: WE'RE STILL ON! WE'RE STILL ON!

(There's the sound of thunder crackling... and some familiar words...)

Fred Durst: Death... comes in mysterious ways... MOTHER FUCKERS!

("Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit hits, and the crowd goes apeshit. The lights return... and
Daze looks at the stage. On the screen... there's the symbol of the one... the only... ?Ņ?.)

JT: HE'S A GERIATRIC FOOL! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

(There's a rumbling sound... continual... and the IWOTron smashes to tiny pieces.)

GP: HOLY SHIT!

(A flag floats where the glass of the IWOTron once stood... it's the old IWO symbol,
the blue-flamed logo, rather than the blue shield. A cloaked figure stands there... is it
The Mysterious One? Or is it... someone else?)

-Fin-