(Heartbeats... in, out, in, out. Continuous... burning in it's own private,|
comatose way. Once, twice, and on the third try, the logo bursts out into a
mighty flame-filled spectacle... before fading to black.)
"Enemy" by [minus]
If I can not decide what I will wake up and look like
The rest of my day is spent tearing me in my departments
Left no choice but to do what I didn't think was possible
Anchored reality finds me bothered in pieces.
(The starting point of the IWO... October 1998, the original Fear The Darkness...
the opening PPV for the IWO. A still-shot of the main event, the Mall Brawl that
saw Shaggy 2 Dope overcome his opposition to name himself IWO World
Heavyweight Champion. We fade to black...)
Enemy decides who I will be
Now I'm penalized and lost
Can't find the end of me
I've got one life to live in this world I've sinned in.
(Joey Rappaport surviving a beatdown of immense proportions by Justin Shack
and Al Coholic, all the way back in the first Ice Age, gets the still-shot
treatment like FTD did. The main event, Shack vs. Ken War, is shown in the
clips and pieces that were the match.)
Charred, broken yellow teeth, softened kiss seduces me
Can be that easily taken by what is left to see
I know my inner pride is cause for my skin to hive
Damaged behaivor leaves me no room for mercy.
(Flash forwarding a year later, to Ice Age 2... where Dane Wilt and Phelen Kell
went to the limit with The Genetic Perfection Match, where Chrome Thunder
busted through the steel staging, where the Billion Dollar Promotion appeared to
be on the top of the world...)
Enemy decides who I will be
Now I'm penalized and lost
Can't find the end of me
I've got one life to live in this world I've sinned in.
(Evan Levine pinning Psycho Jay at Utter Obliteration 2000 shows us the new
changing of the guard... and we see the rising of new stars, like Syphon
Fission, Sam Potright, and Spaz to a higher level, preparing for another
changing of the guard down the road.)
I've got one you don't
You let them know
I see you
You're a liar
You felt good.
(That changing comes at Conspiracy Theory... the giant fall by Syphon Fission
and Phelen Kell moments before the end of Kell's final reign flashes by us, as
well as Matthews pinning Fission, Fission winning the title back, Potright taking
the title from Fission, Daze from Potright, Potright getting it back, and Daze
taking it back ONCE AGAIN from Potright...)
Enemy decides who I will be
Now I'm penalized and lost
Can't find the end of me
I've got one life to live in this world I've sinned in.
(We notice the IWO is spun on it's ear. Joey chasing down Daze with a golf
cart... Zombie taking President Evan Levine out by slapping on his
Tazmission... High Flyer showing off a picture of he and Tammy, Tony Davis's
own love, together... everything is spinning and tossing and going... it's dizzying
in the depth and width of it... the world's intensely different.)
Can't find the end of me
Can't find the end of me
Can't find the end of me
Can't see the enemy.
(A flash of the Monday Night Meltdown logo, and we have a flash-cut to
Chicago's Odeum... a small arena, yes, but there is no Phelen Kell to sell out
the All-State Arena elsewhere in the city. The fans are happy anyway, as we
see a thousand different faces, all holding up signs and cheering, chanting, and
so on... "Flyer! Flyer!" "F' em up Zombie, F' em up", "Daze is an Ass", and
other chants fill the air.)
GP: WE'RE HERE IN THE ODEUM, IN CHICAGO!
JT: I'm getting cramps. This place is TOO SMALL.
JT: Are you gay or something?
Shallow: I didn't say anything of the sort!
JT: You said "ass". What's a gay man's favorite part of the anatomy?
Shallow: I wouldn't know... that's for YOU to know, JT.
JT: Yeah, it -- CRAP! DAMMIT! He spun it around on me!
GP: It's your own damn fault, man.
GP: We have a great card for you tonight... and...
("Shame" by BT interrupts Parker, as the fans go apeshit over Joey
Malone, who comes out through the usual lights out, explosion, and
standing-at-the-entrance... entrance. Malone comes out with Keri Lindum
and they walk to the ring. Joey Malone grabs a microphone.)
Joey Malone: Heeeyyyy Chicago!
(Cheap pop, thumbs up.)
Joey Malone: Look now, look here... as everyone knows, I'm just around
for the hell of it, and I'm around, not because Zombie is all GROWL and
wants to kick various asses. Actually, I'm just here to get my
titleback. You know, the title that President Evan STOLE from me last
month? I believe it's the North American title... well... I want it
back, Cyanide. Sorry... and speaking of sorry, gee, Donnie, I'm SO sorry
that you lost to Schitzo Tod in a non-title match last week. I mean,
it's not my fault or anything, I thought it was pretty hilarious,
(Joey is cut off by "Your Disease" by Saliva starting to play.)
Joey Malone: Aww, fudge.
(The fans immediately start to boo the hell out of the man that owns the
song as a theme, and that man is Donnie Daze. The fans watch as Donnie
slowly limps out onto the entrance from the help of two crutches. He has
his coveted IWO World Heavyweight title around his waist. He is follow
by his managers Joey Legion and Matt Senate. He slowly makes his way
towards the ring with a somber look on his face. He stops in front of
Donnie Daze: Joey, I'm NOT in the mood right now.
Malone: Aww, whazzamattah, Dazey Wazey? Did the big bad Schitzo Tod give
you a nasty little boo boo?
Daze: Very funny, ass hole. If only you knew the truth.
Malone: That Schitzo Tod beat you all over the ring on Hostile Takeover?
Daze: It didn't happen like that at all! After you attempted to murder
me with the golf cart, I stubbed my toe! It threw my whole game off. I
could barely walk. I had to limp around the ring. I still managed, WITH
ONE LEG, to almost beat the very lucky Schitzo Tod. Actually, Joey, that
brings me to my next point... I've come because... I have a warrant for
Daze: Let's go back to Hostile Takeover. I'm sure these Chicago fans
don't have the greatest attention spans...
(The IWOTron shows the golf cart incident. Malone is confused about
that, and Daze speaks into the microphone with the sincerest clarity.)
Daze: Joey, that incident has allowed me to call my lawyer and file for
your arrest, under the charge of attempted vehicular homicide.
GP: What the FUCK!?
Daze: So officers, kindly beat the fuck out of Mr. Malone with your
nightsticks and then take him downtown. Thank you.
(At least sixteen police officers go after Malone, and Malone, being
ill-prepared to deal with the situation, is beaten unconscious. The
police take him and stop in front of Donnie)
Daze: Think about this as you're being anally raped by about fifteen
(Donnie takes one of his crutches, sets up, crow hops, and smashes it
over the head of Malone. He has a huge gash on his head. Blood streams
down his face. He is then carried off. Keri follows in the confusion.
The scene cuts to the backstage area, where Malone is being thrown into
a police car. Keri tries to follow, but an officer blocks her.)
Officer: Sorry, ma'am. I have strict orders not to allow you to come
Keri Lindum: But...
Officer: No buts! Take him away!
(The car drives off. The camera swings around to the front of Keri's
shocked face, and behind her is Donnie Daze.)
Daze: So, Miss Lindum... that leaves just you and me...
(Keri, now stunned, turns around, and looks at Daze, who drops his other
crutch and moves closer towards her. She seems frightened.)
Daze: Aww, come on... I won't hurt you... too bad...
(Keri starts running away.)
Daze: Heh heh heh... this should be fun...
(Scene cut back to the announcers.)
GP: Oh god... Daze has arrested Joey Malone and Keri Lindum is left
behind! What's gonna happen?!
JT: I don't know, but I feel like eating chicken. With that, here's a word from our
- Commercial Break -
[The Scene opens up with Evan Levine sitting in his
hospital bed watching the T.V. set insulting JT. Then his
door opens and it is Blake peeking through.]
Evan Levine- What do you want?
Erik Blake- Um....I need a bodyguard.
Evan Levine- Go to the IML and get one...now get out
of my office. Don't you have a T.V. Title match to get
Erik Blake- Well yea but...
Evan Levine- Then go get ready then!
Erik Blake- But I wanna buy an IWO Wrestler's
Evan Levine-.......(Hysterical Laughter)
Erik Blake- I'M FRIGGIN SERIOUS!
Evan Levine- Who are you yelling at?
Erik Blake- YOU! LISTEN I HAVE A BILLION DOLLARS IN MY
BANK ACCOUNT AND I WANNA BUY A FRIGGIN CONTRACT!
Evan Levine- A billion Dollars? Whose contract you
[Just then Eddie Cheno walks in]
Evan Levine- Dammit Cheno! I told you to knock before
you come in here.
Eddie Cheno Shakey- I know mang....but I need a match
for tonight. Let me fight Syphon Fission. I'll make it
worth yer funkin' wild mang.
Evan Levine- He is retired you idiot!
Erik Blake- Oh Evan!
Evan Levine- What?!?
[Erik Blake's eyes point to Eddie Cheno and Evan
laughs a bit and slams his hands on the table.]
Evan Levine- DEAL!
Eddie Cheno- What?
Evan Levine- Eddie Cheno....you now belong to Erik
Eddie Cheno- Dat be some funked up shiznit...
Evan Levine- He has purchased your contract. Now get
out of my office. Blake he is all yours...
[Erik Blake starts to laugh as he leaves the office
and Eddie Cheno is still in Levine's office yelling
Evan Levine- Security!
[Security comes inside his hospital room and restrains Cheno
out of the office and Evan Levine does an evil laugh
until the screen fades to black.]
GP: I didn't think you could hire security for your hospital room.
JT: Well, with the IWO... why wouldn't you?
(We fade into the locker room of one Tony Davis, as we
see Tony Davis strapping a knee brace on. Tammy is
there as well, putting on some cosmetics. Then, we
hear a knock on the door.)
Davis:Can you get that?
(Tammy gets to her feet, and, of course, answers the
door. She opens it, as we see our neighborhood Postal
Man standing there.)
Postal Man:Package for Mr. Davis.
Tammy:Who is it care of?
Postal Man:Uhhh... *Checking Package* Doesn't seem to
say. I'd stay away from this with a ten foot pole, but
it IS your package.
Tammy:I'll sign for it.
(Tammy signs the paper, as she takes the package,
which looks like a small video tape. She walks over to
Davis, and hands it to him.)
Tammy:I wonder what it is...
Davis:Only one way to find out.
(Davis unwraps it from the paper, and then sticks it
into a small VCR combo near his changing area. What
plays is what seems to be old footage of High Flyer,
wrestling in a match, as we see a young Tammy on the
outside... cheering him on? Davis immediatly gets
enraged, and then just bolts out of the dressing room,
not saying anything.)
Tammy:Tony! Come on! Let me explain!
(Davis slams the door behind him, as we can pratically
hear him growl as he leaves. Tammy just kind of sulks
down, as we hear a knock at the door.)
(The door opens, as we see none other than High Flyer,
wearing his wrestling attire.)
Tammy:What are you doing here Flyer?
Flyer:I... I don't know what to say to you right
now... but I want to work things out.
Tammy:I... I don't know... It's just a really bad
situation right now.
Flyer:I understand... remember, you can always talk to
(We hear someone returning.)
Davis' Voice:I'm sorry I burst up, it's just the
(Davis walks into the room, and sees Flyer standing
there, talking to Tammy. Davis immediatly tackles
Flyer and begins to pound away at him, as we see a
bunch of officials come in and seperate the two. Flyer
is pulled away as Davis is held back from lounging at
Davis:COME ON SNOW MAN! GET BACK TO WHAT CONCERNS YOU!
(Fade out to the ring, as Shawn Arrows' music hits... and he walks out. Like, duh. Of course he would.)
GP: Here comes Shawn Arrows, the man going up against some of the greatest
wrestlers the IWO has known...
(JT stifles and snorts and giggles.)
JT: Oh, nothing... hee hee.
(Arrows gets in the ring. "Sucks To Be Me" by The Eye Suk Constitutional
Band plays... as Eye Suk comes out to about as much of a pop as diluted
soda. The crowd has NO reaction as he walks to the ring... save the
occassional soda can that gives him a nice DING on the side of the head.)
Eye Suk: Ow...
GP: Eye Suk in the ring, Arrows stomps him... one, two, three!
JT: Wow... he really DOES suck.
("It's ALIVE!" is repeated over and over... as Frankenjobber makes his way out
to the ring.)
GP: Now, here's Frankenjobber.
JT: I'll be asleep if anyone needs me.
Shallow: Can I join you?
JT: SICK! NO!
GP: Frankenjobber gets in there, he dodges a kick from Arrows, and he's
running... and running... and running! Oh, is this embarrassing. Frankenjobber is
running from Arrows... around and around and around...
Shallow: I'm a little dizzy.
GP: Frankenjobber trips, falls, Arrows lands on top of him, and
FRANKENJOBBER TAPS OUT! FRANKENJOBBER ELIMINATED!
("Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor plays... a spotlight appears on stage... it's DAN
JT: Wha? WHA? HEY, IT'S THE PINKY OF DEATH! DAN KORDIC'S PINKY IS
GP: The pinky gets in there, Arrows goes for a legdrop!
GP: By george... he missed it! The pinky countered the legdrop! Unbelievable!
Arrows goes for a suplex on the pinky... pinky reverses, ANKLELOCK!
ANKLELOCK BY DAN KORDIC'S PINKY! ARROWS TRYING TO GET IT
OFF... HE THROWS THE PINKY THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE!
JT: Wow... Arrows doing better than most wrestlers, like Garrett Kosoy, have
done against this pinky! Arrows gets ready... he jumps over the top rope to the
floor, AND THE PINKY MOVED!
Shallow: Arrows hurt! Arrows hurt! Dan Kordic's Pinky up, pinky shot to the
stomach, JOBBED-COLD STUNNER TO ARROWS ON THE OUTSIDE!
GP: ... Wha?
Shallow: It's my new catchphrase.
GP: Oh. The pinky climbing to the apron... going for a pinky butt smash!
JT: Do pinkys have butts?
GP: They have a space between the fingernail and skin...
JT: I don't think that counts.
GP: It doesn't? What about that folded up skin area in the middle?
JT: I'd label that as a nut-sack, myself.
Shallow: What the hell are you guys talking about?
GP: Which part of the pinky is the butt.
Shallow: Oh, you see, it's the part of the pinky you stick UP YOUR BUTT...
GP/JT: ... ANYWAY...
GP: Kordic's Pinky missed the pinky butt smash! Arrows rolls him... er, it... in,
takes the Pinky, picks it up, BRAINBUSTER!
JT: Pinkys don't have brains, stupid!
GP: Oh, let's say they do, for the sake of the name! Arrows covers... one, two,
Shallow: The Pinky of Death is gone!
(Chuckles the Clown's ashes drop from the ceiling. Arrows begins gathering all
them up... and pins them.)
GP: Well, that was quick.
("Full House Theme" plays as "Full House" Danny Videos makes his way to the
Danny Videos: MWA HA HA! I AM DANNY VIDEOS! MASTER OF THE
JT: What the hell's the "Clean-Clean-Cleaner"?
GP: Don't ask me... Videos gets on the ring... Arrows takes the ashes and rubs
them into the mat!
Danny Videos: NO! DIRT! ASHES ON THE RING!
(He gets in the ring... bends over to clean up the stuff... and Arrows stands in
front of him.)
Arrows: You ever sucked dick for crack?
Videos: You haven't had a problem unless you've sucked --
Arrows: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!
GP: ARROWS POWERBOMBS VIDEOS! RIGHT INTO THE ASHES! INSULT
TO INJURY... HE COVERS! ONE... TWO... THREE! AND NOW THE
MYSTERY MAN WILL HAVE TO FACE ARROWS!
JT: Well...? Who is it? Arrows mopped the floor with these guys. Except for
Dan Kordic's pinky... that was a tough match. But... anyway... GET HIM OUT
(And more... until, finally, we see an massive array of fireworks go
JT: ... Oh shit.
GP: What in the name of…
(A old song blares as guitars and added sound fills the air.)
Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed but
I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin
GP: This song is…familiar…HOLY SHIT!!!
Shallow: PAPERCUT BY LINKIN PARK!!!
GP: HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Out of the back, as blue fireworks shoot on the stage, walks a man.
about six feet, six inches tall. He has a very muscular build. As he
out, his head is pointed downward. The man is wearing a pair of
baggy blue jeans with frayed bottoms, a leather trench coat, which
ground, a tight black shirt, and a pair of black ADIDAS shoes. )
JT: There is no way…
GP: LOOK AT ARROWS! LOOK AT HIM! HE IS SHAKING!!!!
(As the music blares, the fans mildly cheer. That is until the man
GP: SYPHON FISSION!!!! SYPHON FISSION!!!! THE LEADER OF THIS
(Syphon’s dirty blond hair is soaking wet, and his goatee is longer
His face is clean shaven other then on his chin. His eyes are fixated
ring as the fans go freakin’ insane. Behind him comes Quinn Morgan,
a pair of black flares, a tight black shirt that shows off her nice
is wearing a pair of black high-heeled boots. Her now colored dark
is done up in a One Loop, Four Drapes style. )
Shallow: I think Arrows just pissed himself…
(Syphon chuckles as he walks to the ring with Quinn right behind
walks slowly. )
GP: Fission is the mystery man! He is the mystery man!
JT: SHUT UP YOU DAMN BROKEN RECORD!!!
(Syphon gets in the ring and rushes right into the middle. He stares
Arrows, who is not all too chipper about facing the man. )
GP: Arrows shoves Fission. HE BARELY MOVES! FISSION SHOVES
HARD! THE FANS GO NUTS!!!
JT: COME ON SHAWN!!!
Shallow: Fission now picks up the dazed and confused Shawn Arrows. He
hammering him with rights and lefts…Arrows falls down. Fission is not
working hard in this.
GP: Fission picks up Arrows again…SUPER KICK! One of his trademark
ARROWS MIGHT BE OUT!
JT: NO…ARROWS SOMEHOW GETS UP…KICK TO THE GUT…DEATH
GP: SYPHON PICKS HIM UP AGAIN…DEATH PLUNGE!!!! JESUS CHRIST!
Shallow: FISSION PICKS HIM UP AGAIN! INVERTED DEATH PLUNGE!!!!
DEATH PLUNGE!!! THREE DEATH PLUNGES IN A ROW!!! FISSION
Meygon: YOUR WINNER….THE MYSTERY MAN…SYPHON FISSION!!!
(Syphon, having barely broken a sweat, raises his hand in victory.
in the ring and is ecstatic. )
JT: NO!!! THAT SON OF A BITCH MURDERED SHAWN ARROWS!!! FIRST
IN THAT RING!!! ARREST THAT BASTARD!!!
Shallow: Man…he looked possessed…
GP: THE TWO TIME IWO WORLD CHAMPION IS BACK IN THE GAME!!! HE
SHORT RETIREMENT! HE RETURNS ON LEVINE’S SHOW!!! THERE IS
PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!
(Cut to a commercial as Papercut plays in the background with an
Syphon Fission, arms in the air.)
(The crowd boos/cheers as "Come As You Are" by Nirvana kicks in... bringing out the
IWO's first "ultra-heel", Zombie. He walks to the ring... and snatches a mic from
someone's hand so quickly that it's a blur. He turns it on...)
Zombie: Chicago... Illinois! Home of the great Phelen Kell! Home of the guy whose ass
I kicked SO MANY DAMN TIMES, IT'S RIDICULOUS!
Zombie: C'mon, people... you know it's true. But, even though I beat Phelen Kell a
bunch of times... he put up a good fight every single chance he got. Which is more
than what I can say for today's IWO champions. Let's roll the pictures, people!
(He points to the IWO's MNM Tron, which brings up a picture of the World Tag Team
Champions, the Suicide Kings.)
Zombie: Now, if this doesn't look like two pieces of crap, I don't know what is. Ryan
and Jeff King... from some state, from some town... and quite frankly, that town's
embarrassed to have them as their wrestling representitives. I won't even bother
talking about these two... let's go to the... TV champ!
(AWS Man's picture pops up.)
Zombie: Now, look at him! This title's been held by legends that have long since
passed by the IWO... and now it is in THIS MAN'S hands. Can you say degradation?
The guy has a nude manager and lives in a porn shop! That might very well be the
dumbest possible thing out there. Although, I guess a porn shop can have the
advantages that living in a normal house couldn't... especially when you look at him. I
mean, he probably couldn't get the whores that I can. He probably couldn't get a rat to
nibble his (silenced) for five cents!
(Unified Champion Simon Seaman's picture comes up.)
Zombie: Ugh. That's all I've got to say. Ugh. This is what has happened to our Pacific
and US titles? They got put around the waist of THIS GUY? Who made the booking
decision on that? Quite frankly, this guy doesn't look like a star... and definitely
doesn't wrestle like one. This is shit, to tell the truth.
(Sabastian Crow's image, with the Extreme Title on his shoulder, comes up quickly. The
Zombie: "Under the crap, dum dum dum dum, under the crap..." every time I hear this
guy's name, that's what I think of. That damn Little Mermaid crab... now, let's move on.
(Cyanide with the NA title comes up.)
Zombie: *Flushing sound* There goes the North American title's prestige.
(Finally... the crowd boos as Donnie Daze, the World champ, appears on screen.)
Zombie: Now, here's a guy with potential... but right now, he still sucks. This is the
guy that holds MY title, MY gold. That thing belongs to me... sooner, not later, I'll
have that back. I'm sick and tired of seeing guys like these people hold onto the titles...
and I guess since I'm the only vet with the BALLS to kick around these dingbats, it'll
be my job. Thank you, Chicago, your baseball team sucks, and you all stink like cows...
(He waves... and turns the wave into a middle finger, elicting a boo/pop from the
crowd. He leaves the ring...)
- IWO Action Figure Commercial -
(We fade into an image of Kate Young, who seems to be very much so pregnant. Eight months with a baby in the womb can definitly do that to a women. We hear a knock on the door.)
(The door opens, as we see none other than Tony Davis. He walks in, and comes over to Kate's side.)
Kate:How are you doing Tony...
Tony:Well, I could be better... I need to talk to you about Tammy and Flyer... do you know anything?
Kate:Well, nothing of use really. It's just one of those things that happen...
Tony:And you allow this?
Kate:Allow it? I can't really stop it Tony.
Tony:So you just let them?
Kate:What else am I going to do Tony? I love Flyer... I wouldn't come between them....
(Davis just gets up, not getting the answer he was looking for. He leaves the locker room.)
GP: Well folks, coming up next we have a handicap match pitting Bob Job against the IWO Tag team champions, the Suicide Kings..
JT: No shit sherlock!
JT: Eh? That's not fair, Nikki isn't even here yet still you smack me!
Shallow: Oh well.
GP: Lets go to the ring.
Meygon: This match, is a two on one handicap match. Coming down to the ring first, from Birmingham, England and weighing in at 141 pounds. He is BOB JOB!!
("Superman" by Goldfinger begins to play throughout the arena as the fans give a mediocre pop for Bob Job. He skips to the ring waving his arms about in the air like an eccentric 5 year old. He then rolls into the ring and awaits his opponents with a glum look on his face.)
JT: Where's Spatula? He's without Spatula!!!
Meygon: And his opponents, the IWO World Tag Team champions, Jeff and Ryan.. THE SUICIDE KINGS!!!
("Between angels and insects" by Papa Roach begins to play throughout the arena as the Suicide Kings walk out to a standing ovasion of cheers. A guy in the front row is holding up a sign that reads "Jeff King is a kid!", but Jeff just laughs at the sight of it. Ryan King takes off his belt and hands it to his brother before sliding into the ring.)
GP: Bob Job goes for a drop toe hold on Ryan King but Ryan just laughs in his face and leg drops him to the back of the neck.
JT: Bob is wriggling around in agony as if he was just hit with steel moose!
Shallow: Steel moose!?
(Ryan King grabs Bob by the hair and sets him up for a powerbomb, but Bob counters with a wrench to the eye as Ryan stumbles over to his brother and tags him in.)
GP: Jeff King is now the legal man, he charges at Bob Job and sends him flying over the top rope with a vicous closeline sending himself rolling over it too. He picks Bob up by the hair and slams his head down on the announcers table..
JT: Go Jeff King!
Shallow: Jeff King is a face you retard!
GP: Oh my god, what's this?
JT: A nipple cripple, Bob Job just nipple crippled Jeff King!! Is that legal?
GP: I presume so.
(Bob charges at Jeff King in attempt to hurt him most likely but Jeff King powerslams Bob Job onto the concrete floor outside of the ring. Jeff King then rolls Bob back into the ring before rolling in himself to just beat the count out. Ryan King then climbs up on to his near by turnbuckle as Jeff King holds Bob over his knee.)
GP: Ryan King goes up top and flies off leg drop to the head of Bob Job.
Shallow: Great double team move..
JT: The Suicide Kings are really showing no mercy on Bob Job who has been forced to fight these guys all by himself by the greatest IWO President ever, Evan Levine!
GP: Oh stoip kissing his a**will you!?
Shallow: Anyway, Jeff has now tagged in Ryan who whips Bob Job into the ropes and sends him flying to the ground once again with a well executed missile drop-kick. Ryan King goes for the cover..
3.. no! Ryan King breaks up his own pinfall and just laughs, as does Jeff King.
JT: What was the point in that? It could and probabaly would have been one of the quickest victories in IWO history!!!
GP: Ryan King now picks up Bob and drives him to the canvas with a german suplex, and another, and another, and another. He goes for the cover..
JT: This time the midget kicks out. Ryan King picks him up by the hair and lifts him up over his head before dropping him to the ground. He lays several kicks to the stomach and head of Bob Job before tagging in his brother, Jeff.
(Jeff King climbs up the turnbuckle and flies off with a neatly executed 450 splash. He goes for the cover but Bob Job kicks out on two. Jeff King then picks up Bob Job and delivers a fast release dragon suplex followed by a
standing senton splash. He picks up Bob once again and throws him backwards with a northern lights suplex, he locks in the pinfall.)
Shallow: 1.. 2.. Bob kicks out once again!
GP: Bob is on his feet, and so is Jeff King who whips Bob into the ropes and goes for a closeline but Bob ducks and runs off the opposite ropes and spears Jeff King .....Jeff King doesn't go down, instead Bob does as Jeff climbs the turnbuckle on one side of the ring and Ryan climbs the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the ring. What are they gonna do to poor Bob Job who's lying in the middle of the ring helplessly?
JT: BOTH MEN LEAP OFF THEIR RESPECTIVE TURNBUCKLES AND HIT BOB JOB WITH IDENTICAL..................elbow drops!?
GP: Elbow drops!?
Shallow: Elbow drops?
JT: After all that hype we just built up for their double team move all they could deliver was a double elbow drop!!?
Ryan King: WOO!! ELBOW DROPS RULE!!!
(Jeff King then steps onto the outside of the ring simply because he IS the legal man, which makes no sense but nobody would have noticed the difference anyway. Regardless, Ryan King whips Bob into the turnbuckle knocking the referee down.)
JT: The irony.
GP: The referee is down, Jeff King is in the ring, both Kings are in the ring. Jeff King grabs Bob Job by the arms as Ryan King charges at the helpless rookie.. but Bob Job moved!! Bob Job MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND
RYAN KING JUST KNOCKED OUT HIS BROTHER!!!
Shallow: With a boot to the face?
GP: Well, maybe he didn't knock him out but it sounds far more dramatic if I say so.
(Ryan King turns around but is nailed with a right hook to the face.)
JT: Bob Job is on the offence.. holy crap!
(Bob Job hits Ryan King with a right hook to the face, Ryan King falls down but immediately gets to his feet only to be knocked down once again. He gets straight back up again but this time he's knocked down with a kick to the
GP: ON THE HAIR OF MY SHINNY SHIN SHIN!!! ON THE HA..
JT: We heard you the first time!
(Bob starts to make circular movements with his right hand around his right ear whilst pulling something out of his left hand pocket.)
GP: Ryan king gets to his feet.. here it comes, THE LUCKY PINFALL!
(The Ref comes around and see's Bob with his Mahistrol cradle.)
JT: NO! Haha...I knew it.
Shallow: What the hell?
GP: Bob just hit himself over the head with a foreign object, why did he do that!? He's doing it again, what in the world is he hitting himself with and why!!?
JT: OH MY GOD!! SPATULA.. IT WAS SPATULA; THE POSSIBLY EVIL PEN!!!
GP: Bob just almost gave himself a concussion by hitting himself over the head with a pen!!! What is the world coming to I ask? What is the world coming to? He's still doing it...but why? Is this what he calls interference?
JT: Look at the Kings, they're just laughing.. and now Bob is bleeding!
GP: The Suicide Kings charge at Bob Job from behind and hit a double face crusher. Simultaneously they climb opposite turnbuckles .....DOUBLE FROG SPLASH!!! They both go for the cover.
3.. They did it!
JT: The Suicide Kings have come away with probabaly the most difficult victory of their career! Oh the sarcasm.
Meygon: Your winners, the IWO World Tag team champions....Jeff and Ryan, THE SUICIDE KINGS!!!
("Between Angels and Insects" begins to play as the Kings celebrate like they've actually won something important. On the other side of the ring, Bob Job raises and throws Spatula out of the ring and shoves the Kings)
Bob Job: You no win fair poopit!
Jeff King: Sowwy
Bob Job: Well.. erp. It's o-tay! Just let me touch the shiny titles.
(For no reason Bob Job touches the tag titles and the 3 hold their arms up as the fans cheer and they exit the ring to the back)
GPI think we've got something else on Keri's situation right now.
JT: Ooh, more!
(The scene cuts to the backstage area, where Keri Lindum is hiding
behind a wall, trying to keep away from Donnie Daze. She is very scared,
because Joey isn't there to protect her this time. She turns to the
camera, which is panning away from the wall.)
Keri Lindum: Oh... where... did he go?
(A hand comes up from behind Keri and grabs her shoulder. Keri lets out
a yell, loses her already precarious balance, and falls back.)
(She turns suddenly, then breathes a sigh of relief when she realizes
that it's Kent Anthason. Anthason jumps back as well.)
Kent Anthason: Geez, geez... you scared me half to death...
Keri: *I* scared *you*!?
Anthason: I was just wondering where your boyfriend was.
Keri: He... he was arrested. Were you not here for it?
Anthason: I just got here. I don't know why you're so jumpy... geez...
(Anthason walks away. The scene pans around to behind Anthason. As it
does so, it pans over behind the wall Keri was hiding behind. Donnie
Daze stands there with an arrogant look on his face.)
Donnie Daze: My dear Keri...
(Keri jumps again, this time REALLY scared, as the person she was hiding
from is there.)
Daze: Your friend, Anthason was right... you really are jumpy...
(Keri takes off down the hall.)
Daze: Aww, don't go! Heh heh heh...
-- Commercial --
("Bodies" by Drowning Pool plays as LiGil makes his way out to a cheer/boo combo
that leaves you reeling... not really... he gets in the ring quickly.)
(The lights go out at this moment... and there's a long, demured silence... the words
"Black Phantom" appears on screen... when the lights return, Phantom is behind
LiGil.... LiGil doesn't see him.)
JT: TURN AROUND, LIGIL! TURN AROUND!
(Phantom stands there... stands there... suddenly, he grabs LiGil... and slams him down
with an inverted DDT. LiGil's head damn near pierces the mat...)
GP: OW! GOOD GOD! Phantom covers.... one.... two.... three....
(No music, no nothing... Black Phantom leaves the ring. Everything is quiet, save for
the soft sound of people muttering about this man... who appeared out of nowhere and
just took out an IWO veteran. Phantom doesn't take notice of the fans... he goes
through the curtain and disappears.)
Shallow: I'm spooked. Genuinely.
JT: Don't tell me you wet your pants.
GP: Hey... guys... you smell something?
JT: AWWWW, YOU DID! YOU SICK WUSS!
Shallow: SORRY! All that silence was creepy!
- Commercial Break -
(The scene switches to the back where IWO World Champion, Donnie Daze, is
walking, looking for Keri Lindblum. Suddenly as he rounds a corner he comes face to
face with the Suicide Kings)
Donnie Daze: What the fu-
Jeff King: AHH! MY VIRGIN EARS!
(Jeff rolls on the ground as Ryan sighs and lifts him back up)
Donnie Daze: What do you wastes of space want?
Jeff King: You think your cool and stuff just because you laid us out last
week when we were plotting to lay you out which means it was a double kick
reverse ollie grind plot to lay someone out!
(Daze smacks Jeff)
Ryan King: Hey!
(Ryan raises his fist back)
Donnie Daze: AH AH AH! Hold on a second there sparkplug! You do realize who
you are threatening with that fist raised!?
Ryan King: Yeah... so?
Donnie Daze: I am the world champ buster... if you hit me... I can pull
strings in the back. And we all know how much that precious May Mayhem match
means to you two. I can have you left out...
(Daze snaps his fingers)
Donnie Daze: Just like that...
Jeff King: Damn... we need to get us one of those titles.
Donnie Daze: Heh, not while I'm holding you won't!
So let me get this straight.... WE can't hit you!?
Donnie Daze: DING DING DING! Correct, get him a cookie people!
But.... HE can!
(Daze's eyes get big as he slowly turns around....SMACK! The IML 3 Millennium
title smashes into his face, but with little force and Bob Job stands there
Donnie Daze: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bob Job: EEP!
(Bob Job spins around and burns rubber as Daze grunts and growls and turns
back around to confront the Kings but they are gone. The scene shows them
walking down a hallway laughing)
Jeff King: AHAHAHAHAHA! That ruled!
Ryan King: Yeah, Daze never saw it coming! Teehee, we're masters of the
plotting! Let's go get someone else!
(Scene fades back to commercial)
Meygon: This, is for the IWO Extreme championship... First to the ring, he weighs in at
235 pounds. Standing tall at six feet, two inches... He is...
("Prison Sex" by Tool blasts throughout the arena as the lights flash on and off. At
the ramp we see the man known as Schitzo Tod. The man poses for the crowd as the
reaction he gets is almost defeaning.)
GP: Schitzo Tod. The man that upset Donnie Daze at Hostile Takeover.
JT: I hate this guy. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Schitzo Tod is extremely
annoying, and stupid.
GP: And you're not?
(Tod's music fades out.)
Meygon: Ladies and gentleman... He weighs in at two hundred and seventy pounds,
standing tall at six feet, seven inches... He is the IWO EXTREME CHAMPION... HE IS
("Enter Sandman" by Metallica plays as Sabastian Crow makes his way down the ramp
to a mixed reaction. He has the Extreme title draped over his shoulder, as he proceeds
to get in the ring and stand on a few turnbuckles.)
GP: Extreme title on the line. Both men are standing in front of each other, waiting for
the bell to ring.
JT: My bets are on Sabastian.
GP: Mine are on Tod.
JT: Because you suck.
*Ding, Ding, Ding*
(Sabastian and Tod lock up. Tod gains the upper hand and slings Crow into the
turnbuckle. Crow comes back, and Tod nails him with a cross body. Crow reverses it
into a power slam immediatly.)
GP: Ouch. Tod's not off to a good start.
(Tod gets up fast and sends a fist at Crow. Crow blocks and nails Tod sending him to
the mat. Crow goes to the ropes and comes bouncing back with a closeline when Tod
stands back to his feet.)
GP: This is all about power. Tod is a high flyer... Crow is the bigger, stronger
JT: Cut the crap, GP. Get back to the match.
(Crow pulls Tod up and whips him into the ropes. Tod slides underneath Crow's legs,
he stops there, and gives Crow a low blow with his knee. Tod slides from underneath,
and runs to the ropes while Crow is bent over. He jumps on Sabastians back and rides
him around like a horse for a while.)
JT: TOD IS RIDING CROW LIKE A HOG! HEY, THAT ISN'T FAIR.
GP: Extreme rules, JT. Heh heh heh.
(Crow stands up straight, dropping Tod back down to the mat. He grabs Schitzo Tod
and slams a chop into his chest. Crow then drops Tod with a german suplex. He stands
back up, and grabs Tod once again, setting him up for a powerbomb.)
GP: Big powerbomb by Crow, in just a few seconds.
(Crow pulls Tod up about to deliver the powerbomb, but Schitzo Tod wraps his legs
around Crow's neck. Crow's face goes white as Tod flips backwards giving him a hard
Rana onto the mat. Tod pins. 1... Kickout by Crow.)
GP: That was great. Go, Tod! GO!
JT: That was lame. Go, Crow! GO!
(Tod climbs back to his feet, and grabs Crow by the hair. Crow gives him a low blow
before picking Tod back up and flinging him out of the ring. Tod lands on the outside
mat hard, and starts to stand back up again. Crow makes his way out of the ring, and
grabs a monitor. He flings it at Tod, Tod ducks however and delivers a hard kick to
Crow's back, sending him to the outside mat.)
GP: They're on the outside now. No countouts, of course. This match has been back
and forth. Both men are fighting like nothing before.
JT: Yeah, let's hope for some blood, you know. Nothing like a good ol' extreme blood
bath. Ah, those were the days.
GP: What are you talking about?
(Tod picks Crow up by the hair, and drags him over to the steel steps. He pulls the
steps from their placement, and sits it in front of the ring. He takes Crow and slams his
head off the corner of the steps. Crow falls unconcious, as Tod leans him over the
stairs. Crow's body is limp over the peice of steel as Tod goes to the top rope.)
JT: NO! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. CROW IS SUPPOSED TO WIN!
GP: Tod, looks for a high risk move!
(Tod leaps to go for a moonsault splash, but Crow awakens and moves before he can
land it. Tod hits the stairs hard with his stomach and falls over the side, wrenching in
GP: OH MY GOD!
JT: Beautiful. Really, it was.
GP: You're really sick, JT. Do you know that?
(Crow grabs Tod by the neck, and sets him up. Crow slams Tod down with a Bridging
Suplex. Crow picks up Tod, and hits him in the face. Tod turns around and starts to
walk off hands to his face. But Crow grabs him and turns him around to nail another
hit. He does so and Tod hits the floor. Tod inches his way to the ring, reaches under
and holds something.)
GP: This could mean big trouble for Crow!
JT: Crow, DON'T BE STUPID! TOD HAS SOMETHING IN HIS HANDS!
(Crow reaches to Tod, he leans down to pull Tod up but Tod lands a nice slap in the
face to Crow with a steel pole. Tod gets up as Crow is staggering around, trying not to
fall. Tod jumps on the back of Sabastian Crow and belts him time after time with the
lead pipe to the back of the head and to Crow's face.)
GP: Tod makes the come back with the steel pipe.
JT: That cheating loser. I hate Tod's guts.
GP: You didn't say that when Crow cheated on his other matches.
JT: Well, that's different, I guess.
(Crow grabs behind him for Tod and flings him foward. Tod lands hard on the edge of
the ring, he slumps and slides to the outside mat. Crow picks Tod up and puts his arms
in the ropes. He pulls the second rope up and ensnares Tod so that he can't move.)
JT: Big trouble for Tod indeed, GP.
GP: Shut up, JT.
JT: Ow, what's the "Thwap" for?
(Crow delivers random slaps to the chest of Schitzo Tod. Crow then punches him in
the face hard enough so that Tod flips back over the ropes and lands back in the ring.
Crow follows him in, and begins his assult of punches on Tod while he's still down.
Crow picks Tod up and begins to give him lefts and rights in the face.)
GP: Crow is really, really punishing Tod. Even the most schitzo of schitzophrenic
people couldn't take this schitzo abuse.
JT: You're freegin' schitzo.
(Tod all of a sudden get's a really mean looking look on his face and begins to block all
of Crow's punches. He starts batting them off with one hand, at that.)
JT: Here goes Tod's matrix stuff again. God, I hate this.
(Tod jumps onto the turnbuckle and does a backflip off of it, kicking Crow in the face
twice. Tod begins to round-house kick, heel kick, and bicycle kick Crow over and over
again. Crow's being beaten senseless. Crow then lands another kick hard into the solar
plexus of Sabastain Crow which sends him flying to the outside. Crow slams into the
guard railing, breaks a peice of it off, and keeps right on going until he hit's Johnny
Johnny Cochran: Damn it, Sebasstian! I'm going to take you to court, you!
GP: I wonder where O.J. is.
JT: Probably in jail.
Schitzo Tod: THAT'S IT, CROW. IT'S #ENDGAME TIME AND STUFF FOR YOU,
MAN. I'M, LIKE, DOING YOU IN SO TO SPEAK, NOW!
(Tod jumps on the turnbuckle, then jumps off of it. He reaches a very, very high point
in his jump... Everything goes really slow for a moment, but then speed up a
milli-second later as Tod's feet land right on to Crow's jaw.)
JT: Aww. Poor Crow. That has to hurt!
GP: Heh heh. He deserves it.
(Crow gets up from his position, cracks his jaw back in place and runs toward the back.
Tod follows. Tod makes it to the hallway where concessions are being sold. He grabs
a popcorn bag from a persons hand and finds Crow. He slams the bag over Crow's
Sabastian Crow: That's supposed to hurt?
Schitzo Tod: No, but this is.
(Tod pulls out a popcorn making machine, he slams it down on Crow's head. Glass and
pop corn goes everywhere.)
JT: Yeah, look at that pansy Tod run, too. He's just leaving Crow all battered and beat
up in the middle of a crowd!
(Tod runs off. We cut to a golf shop, Tod runs in.)
Schitzo Tod: Nine Iron, please? Twenty bucks? No problem.
(We cut back to the concession stand hallway, as Crow is standing around looking for
Tod. He looks around frantically in the crowd. A scream emits, and Tod slams the Nine
iron on Crow's head.)
GP: How'd he do that?
JT: I really don't know, GP. Maybe he's like, weird or something.
GP: Could be.
(Tod cracks Crow again with the Nine Iron and Crow goes down. Schitzo Tod hops
over the concession stand, he grabs a bottle of soda, he pops back up and looks
around. Crow is no where to be seen.)
GP: Where'd Crow go? He was right the--
(A bottle flys out of nowhere and nails Tod in the head. He falls over and Sabastian
Crow runs up, grabs the bottle out of Tod's hand, and busts it over the fallen head of
JT: There's my man, Sabastian Crow back in action.
(Crow picks up Tod and lands a back breaker on him in the middle of the concession
stand hall way. Tod gets up off the floor and scampers away.)
Sabastian Crow: You can run, Tod! But, you can't... Uhh? What was it again?
Sabastian Crow: Exactly. YOU CAN'T HIDE, TOD! Hey, where'd you go anyhow? Are
you hiding from me, Tod? Come out and play!
(Crow runs down the hall after Tod, he sees him turn the corner and Crow follows. It
leads them down into the lower sections of the Arena. It's dark, darkish, dark under
there and Crow approaches with caution.)
JT: I wouldn't go down there, Sabastian. Who knows what that freak could be doing
(Crow steps into the darkness. He trips over a chair or something. He stumbles. Alittle
above him, where he can't see. Tod has a mop and is mopping the floor. Crow stumbles
over it and falls on his face. Tod mops his face and runs off into the darkness.)
Sabastian Crow: Little prick. Where's the light switch around here?
(Crow searches around for a light switch. He finds on and flips it on. The lights pop
on, and in front of him is a horrifying sight. Schitzo Tod has a huge water gun.)
Schitzo Tod: Hey, Crow... What do you get when you have a watergun full of honey,
and a nest of rats?
(Crow leans to the side to peer behind Tod. Behind him, there are a million rats. All
with red beady eyes, staring at him.)
Sabastian Crow: Do I want to know?
(Tod squirts him all over. Crow starts to run, but Tod chases him. He finally catches up
with him and kicks Crow in the back of the leg, sending him to the floor. The rats are
Schitzo Tod: So, what'll it be, Crow? Get eaten by a bunch of rats, or give me your
Sabastian Crow: HERE. TAKE IT! JUST LET ME GO!
Schitzo Tod: Doesn't work that way. Lean back onto the floor.
(Crow does so, and Tod puts a foot on his chest. A ref comes from no where. 1... 2...
GP: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WE HAVE A NEW IWO EXTREME CHAMPION!
(Schitzo Tod takes his foot off, and laughs at Crow. Crow has a weird look on his face,
as Tod picks up one of the mice. He pulls off it's skin, and there's a little race car with
red lights on the front. All of them are like that.)
Sabastian Crow: YOU BASTARD! You set me up!
(Tod pulls out his little remote control.)
Schitzo Tod: And I got away with it too. Even with you meddling birds.
(Tod throws the control at Crow who steps back in surpise. Tod takes off back
upstairs, and runs out to the arena. He grabs his extreme title, and takes back off to the
backstage. Crow comes limping out after Tod is gone.)
Sabastian Crow: WHAT ARE ALL YOU LOOKING AT?
(The IWO-Tron appears to show re-runs of the whole match.)
Sabastian Crow: Oh.
(Outside the arena, Tod runs out to the parking lot, waving the Extreme Title in the air.
He's so happy... when suddenly, AWS Man comes out of nowhere! He slaps the
Smack The Freak Around on Tod. An unknown man joins AWS Man, climbing atop a
car. He has AWS Man's mask on... but has blue jeans and a green wife beater.)
GP: Oh my god what is AWS Man (also known as Bill.) doing? Why is he
slapping Tod the freak around?
JT: He just is, can't you ever except things for what they are? Why does
everything have to mean something? What if this masked man that looks just
like AWS Man (also known as Bill) except for the clothing hits Tod? Does
that mean it has something to do with the screwing of Tod? No it means that
he likes hot dogs!
JT: What the hell was that for bitch?
Shallow: That was for calling me a bitchâ€¦and the first one was for making no
JT: I think it did make sense but you're just on your period and can't figure
Shallow: I'M A GUY!
JT: And you HIT LIKE A GIRL!
GP: Okay guys let's just get back to the match.
(The AWS Man guy is on the top rope. He jumps off and does the Neck Cutta (a
450 degree leg drop.) to Tod. AWS Man stands up and shakes his finger at the
AWS Man: That is not what was too happen. Everyone knows that the plan was
for you to run down and beat him with a fluffy pillow! What the freak
happened to the pillow?
??: Some hobo stole it for meâ€¦lets just do the BOOYAH AND THEN THEY HAD
(You would like to know what that move is wouldn't you? Well to fucking bad!
(AWS Man and freak little man go up top on opposite turnbuckles. They do the
BOOYAH AND THEN THEY HAD CAKE!)
JT: What the fuck was that!
GP: IT WAS THE BOOYAH AND THEN THEY HAD CAKE! BOOYAH, CAKE,
BOOOOOOYAHHHHH!! CAKKKKKEEE! CRACK COCCAINE IS WHAT I AM ON!
JT: We are not letting him be by himself ever again!
(JT and Nikki both nod, then Nikki slaps him for no reason other then it is
AWS Man: Yeah that was the BOOYAH AND THEN WE HAD CAKE! It is the most
lethal move ever. A lot better then that move that Tod and me had. What was
the name for that? Oh yeah the menstrual flow. Pfft what was that all about
(AWS Man puts the slap the freak around Tod again. Yelling out loudâ€¦"what
did it mean! What does it mean! I never like our entrance musicâ€¦I lied! I
had no idea how the hell that sound like!")
??: Now that he has lost his mind I will take over now. Funk, yes funk.
What do you do when people kidnap you and take you to funky town? Well what
do you do? You sit there and ride the funky monkey while playing Dr. Mario
on the game boy color! I know I was funking there! But you wouldn't know
what that is aboutâ€¦well a lot of people don't know what the hell that was
about. To tell you the truth I bet half of you don't even know who I am.
Well I will tell you.
(?? Guy turns around and AWS Man has gotten a hold of some can cheese and
beating the ever living crap out of Tod. AWS Man puts a cheese mustache on
his face and a beard! Guy takes AWS Man off of Tod and kicked Tod out of the
ring. The two guys stand next to each other.)
??: Well I will tell you it now. I am AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s twin
brother DPS Man (also known as Bob) and there is something odd about thatâ€¦We
are twins yet some how AWS Man is 5 years older then me! How the hell did
our mom stay in labor that long?
(AWS Man shrugs and then makes a smiley face on his paint ball mask, and
pants with the can of cheese.)
DPS Man: Okay that was not right at all. You should have put the cheese on
the post and farted on itâ€¦then we could have said who farted on the cheese!
AWS Man: It is who cut the cheese numb nutsâ€¦what the freak is wrong with you?
Can't you get anything freakin right?
DPS Man: Our mom was funkin right last night.
AWS Man: I know I was there.
DPS Man: No you were not, Pen was there and WHOO don't ever get pen mad he
will do the inanimate bitch slap on your ass and make it red like the dickens!
AWS Man: No cussing, you know I don't like words like dickens and red and
don't get me started with the letter e. That slutty letter, we don't need no
stinking E. We can do just find with out it.
DPS Man: What ever, that is not important. What is important is that
everyone saw the BOOYAH AND THEN WE HAD CAKE! (If you really want to know
won't tell you.) That is the most pain full and evil mover everâ€¦not as bad
as FUNKbomb (DPS Man jumps off the top turnbuckle and stomps with all his
weight on the mans nuts.) but it is mean. So beware Suicide Kings, we are
coming and whomping some ass. We will take you down. And you know why?
Cause not only are we the Insane Clowns (also known as the also knowns) but
cause we are the first tag team to have our own limerick! That is right. So
lets say it AWS Man before we leave.
AWS Man and DPS Man: We are the Insane Clowns who don't take pounds. We like
to beat the people the freak around. Faygo and freak juice is what we drink.
Crazy thoughts what we think. In a match we will do BOOYAH AND THEN WE HAD
CAKE to keep you down.
DPS Man: Thank you very much you have been a wonderful audience. (Our move
is when I do the Neck Cutta and AWS Man does the win the freakin matchifier.)
JT: Well that was interesting, we have two retards now and they are leaving
the ringâ€¦I hope your happy Nikki, I know this is all your fault.
(As they are leaving AWS Man kicks Tod.)
AWS Man : STAN!
- Commercial -
(Scene cut to the backstage area. The scene has switched to the outside
of the locker room of AWS Man (also known as Bill). Keri Lindum runs
quickly on the scene, looks quickly around her, and then knocks on the
door. AWS Man (also known as Bill) answers it.)
AWS Man (also known as Bill): Who the freak are you, and do you have
Keri Lindum: I'm Keri, Joey's girlfriend...
AWS Man (also known as Bill): Joey? Who the freak is Joey? Do you mean
that motherfreaker, Joey Malone? He's my arch-freakin-nemesis, though. I
can't freakin' help you.
(He slams the door. Keri then runs to the next door, this one marked
"High Flyer". Keri knocks on it. High Flyer answers it.)
High Flyer: Huh? Oh, hi, Keri. What can I do for you? *Flyer's speech
gets faster* Do you want to buy snow? *And faster...* Do you like snow?
*And faster...* What would you do with the snow? *Until his lips are a
blur* I like snow. Snow is very nice and happy and shiny, and I can do
nifty things with snow, you see, and...
Keri: Flyer, please!
Flyer: Oh, sorry.
Keri: Could you... help me hide from Donnie Daze?
Flyer: I'd love to, but I have to fight the Mysterious Birdman. Sorry.
(Flyer shuts the door as the screen pans out slowly, until we see Donnie
Daze standing directly behind Keri.)
Donnie Daze: Now is that any way to treat a friend?
(Keri gasps, turns quickly, sees Daze, and runs straight for her
dressing room, slamming and locking the door.)
Donnie Daze: Playing hard-to-get, are we...?
[cameras hit the dressing room of the Potrights... Beth Potright is holding a crystal
rose...She's staring in the mirror, in amazement of what she's been given..But, from
Beth Potright [Reading the paper attached]: Your my love....My dream....My
[The door opens, and Sam Potright walks in.]
(Beth tries hiding the Rose behind her back)Beth Potright: Um, HI Sam!
Sam Potright: Hi....What are you doing? Why are your hands behind your back?
Beth Potright: Oh no reason...
Sam Potright: No, show me....
[ Sam walks closer towards Beth, until she shows him the Crystal rose.]
Sam Potright: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
Beth Potright: I.....I....Dont know.
Sam Potright: Who the HELL GAVE YOU THIS?!
Beth Potright: I don't know Sam! Please beleive me!
Sam Potright: and whats that letter?
[ Sam walks up to the counter near the mirror, and grabs the piece of paper with the
poem on it..]
Sam Potright: BULLSHIT!
[Sam walks out of the room, but before leaving he takes the Crystal Rose with
him...Beth begins crying after what Sam's done.]
Beth Potright:(Sobbing) Sam come back!!!!
[camera's cut to a promo for Hostile Takeover]
GP: We're back, and Sam Potright is looking for the mystery admirer!
(Potright storms through the halls... he bumps into Dane Matthews.)
Matthews: "Beth, what can I do..." hey, Sam.
Potright: Dane... this ain't the time.
Matthews: I see. Looking for this admirer guy?
Potright: You're fucking right. This guy deserves to be hurt badly for what he's doing.
Matthews: Well... some people just can't figure stuff like that out.
(Potright keeps on walking...)
Matthews: "Beth, I hear you calling, but I don't know what to do..."
(Potright stops in his tracks... he walks right up to Matthews... and SMASHES the
Crystal Rose over Dane's head, knocking him down.)
Potright: YOU! YOU SON OF A BITCH!
(Potright picks up Dane and throws him into the wall, and begins punching him.)
Potright: HOW DARE YOU!
(He throws Dane into the other wall and gives him a hard kick to the face.)
Potright: YOU SON OF A BITCH!
(He picks Dane up and throws him into a chair cart.)
Potright: DON'T YOU EVER, EVVVER GET NEAR HER! YOU GOT ME? I WILL HUNT
YOU DOWN... AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
(Potright storms off, leaving Matthews battered... Beth walks into the hallway. She
picks up the note, which is stuck under a shard of the Crystal Rose... she picks the
shard up, a piece of the flower... looks at the note... looks at Dane... stifles a sob... and
walks away, her head hung low, her shoulders slumped.)
-- Commercial Break --
(Potright walks into the locker room...)
Potright: Beth, you would not believe it --
(He looks around. The room is empty... and Beth's bag is gone.)
Potright: Beth? Beth? Oh, dammit...
(He leaves the room, heads back to the hallway where he beat the hell out of Dane...
he's gone. And so's the note.)
Potright: What the hell...?
(He realizes something. It hits him like a ton of bricks.)
Potright: He couldn't have... could he? She couldn't have... no way. No. I don't believe
(Fade to the announcers...)
JT: OW! TOO CONFUSING! MY HEAD HURTS!
GP: So... let's get this straight... first off, Schitzo Tod wins the Extreme title from
Sabastian Crow. Then, as Tod leaves the arena... AWS Man, whose match was
cancelled tonight, ends up taking down Tod with the help of his BROTHER, DPS Man.
Looks like a new tag team... after that, Keri Lindblum is having the same crappy luck
finding a safe haven from our World champion... and IN ANOTHER locker room
incident, Sam Potright has just found out that DANE MATTHEWS is the one that has
been after his girl... and now, both Beth and Dane are gone! What else could happen
in this ONE SEGMENT?
JT: Not much.
- May Mayhem Promo -
(We fade into the locker room of Davis, as we see
Cradle, who seems rather dejected at this entire
situation. We hear a knock on the door.)
(Tammy get to her feet, and answers the door, as
standing there is a man who seems to be in his mid-to
early twenties. He has chestnut brown hair, and is
wearing a suit and tie.)
Man*English Accent*:Honey, I've so missed you...
(Tammy gives Kent(Not Anthason jerkies), a kiss on the
lips. It seems rather cold, but yet passionate as
Tammy:Kent, what are you doing here?
Kent:Well, I haven't seen you very much lately with
your wrestling manager career taking off again, and I
wanted to surprise you at the arena.
Tammy:It's not really that good of a time Kent...
(We see Tony Davis walking in, as he seems to be
rather strangely looking.)
Tammy:Oh, hey, Kent, this is Tony Davis, the guy I
manage.. and Tony, this is my, husband Kent...
Tony:Oh, nice to met you...
(Tony gives the guy a hand shake, as he gives a quick
glare over to Tammy's direction.)
Tony:Listen, I've got to get going, you know where to
reach me Tammy....
Kent:What a nice young chap.
["Why Do Birds..." by The Carpenters plays over the speakers.]
Meghan: Introducing to the ring first, he Is... The
Mysterious 0¿0 !!!
[ The Mysterious 0¿0 comes down to the ring In a mild
Shallow: This match going to suck ?
JT: I don’t know. Our writer’s haven’t wrote It yet.
GP: What ?
JT: Our writer’s haven’t wrote It yet.
GP: What writer’s ?
JT: The one’s that coordinate this match ?
GP: What coordinators ?
JT: The people backstage ?
GP: The IWO Crew ?
JT: No. The writers. You know, Jamie Cosoy and other
GP: Oh whatever !... the IWO has no writers.
JT: You sure ?
GP: Yes !, we are 100% real folks. There are no
writer’s In the IWO... JT, you must be thinking about
old WCW ?
JT: Oh. Might of been...
GP: I think so.
["I Like Snow" by Santa's Snowmen plays over the speakers. ]
JT: YaY !, It’s the Snow Man !!!
*Crowd Pops Heavily
[ High Flyer runs from the backstage curtains and
slides into the ring. ]
JT: Power and the Money... Money and the Power...
Minute after Minute... Hour after Hour...
Shallow: What ?
JT: Oh. Sorry...
[ JT takes off his headset. ]
GP: Were you just listening to Gangsta’s Paradise ?
Shallow: Coolio ?
JT: Uh huh !!!
GP: Cool. There’s a song people haven’t heard for a
JT: Want me to sing It ?
GP/Shallow: NO !!!
[ The bell rings. ]
GP: Ok !, It looks like we’re ready to go. The
Mysterious Birdman and High Flyer tie up, High Flyer
the advantage... headlock, he runs Birdman across the
ring... Birdman counters though, he sends High
Flyer to the ropes, High Flyer comes back, leapfrog
!!!... High Flyer bounces off the ropes again, Birdman
turns around and High Flyer... with a kick to the gut,
High Flyer off the ropes again, coming back and hits
a beautiful DDT.
JT: I see the light at the end. But whenever I take a
step, It gets dim...
[ GP and Shallow look over at JT. ]
GP: What now ?
Shallow: Let me guess... you were singing another song
JT: Uh huh...
GP: What now ?
JT: “Hellbound” by D12...
JT: OUCHIES !!!... what was that for ???
GP: Sorry, my hand slipped.
Shallow: Anyways, back to the match. Birdman has High
Flyer In the corner... hard slap to the chest,
another hard slap... Birdman with a Irish Whip, but
wait, High Flyer counters the whip... he sends
Birdman to the turnbuckle... High Flyer comes back and
hits a clothesline. High Flyer now, with a
headbutt straight to the Birdman, but wait, he isn’t
done... High Flyer climb’s the turnbuckle and here we
Crowd Chant: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8...
[ High Flyer looks around at the people and smiles. ]
GP: High Flyer landing those shots to the forehead
Crowd Chat: ... 10 !!!!
JT: That was good and...
[ High Flyer jumps onto the ropes, wraps himself
around the Birdman, and hits a spinning DDT to the
JT: OH SHIT !!!
GP: The Mysterious 0¿0 has been laid out !!!! High Flyer is standing tall... WAIT!
TONY DAVIS IS IN THE RING! Flyer moves out of the way! Davis has a steel pipe!
Good God, he nearly took out Flyer!
[Flyer escapes to the outside as Davis holds the steel pipe at him. 0¿0 begins to get to
his feet... Davis clocks him HARD with the pipe, taking him down.]
JT: Ouch. Maybe that'll make 0¿0 think he's human again...
GP: Davis is dangerous with that pipe... he's been trying to take Flyer out all night.
[Flyer tries to get into the ring, and Davis takes a wild swing at him. Flyer shakes his
head and gets down... he grabs a mic.]
Flyer: Tony! TONY! You think you're all big and bad with that steel pipe... well, guess
[Tony blinks... turns around... and sees nothing. Just then, some twelve pounds of
snow fall on his head. He begins screaming and cursing as Flyer laughs, walking
around the ring and up the ramp...]
GP: Well, Flyer gets one up on his ex-Team V.I.A.G.R.A. partner! But Tony's just
gonna be more sadistic, plus he still has the pipe! This could get even more
(Scene cuts to Joey Malone's locker room, which is presently occupied by
his girlfriend, Keri Lindum. Keri is very scared by now, being chased by
Donnie Daze all this time. She has finally pioneered a phone and is
calling a lawyer or somebody.)
Keri Lindum: *sniff* Hello?
Lawyer on Phone: Yes?
Keri: I'd like to file a restraining order...
Lawyer on Phone: I see, who against and what for?
Keri: Donnie Daze for stalking me after beating up my boyfriend...
Lawyer on Phone: Ah, I see. Please hold.
(The scene cut to Donnie Daze's locker room. Joey Legion is on the
Joey Legion: Ah, I see. Please hold.
(Matt Senate can be heard chuckling in the background. He grabs a phone
on a seperate line. He prepares his best "Keri Lindum" voice.)
Matt Senate: *in Keri voice* Hello, Mr. Lawyer?
Actual Lawyer on Phone: WHO DARES CALL THE HOUSE OF SATAN?
Matt Senate: *in Keri voice* I am Keri Lindum, and I'd like to file a
Lawyer: AGAINST WHICH PUNY MORTAL?
Matt Senate: *in Keri voice* *low mumble, barely audible for the fans to
hear*, for, um...
(Donnie Daze comes over and whispers something in Matt's ear.)
Matt Senate: *in Keri voice* Ah, yes! For attempted homosexuality with a
dash of goat sex on the side!
Lawyer: I SEE. THE PAPERS ARE BEING PROCESSED NOW. WHAT IS YOUR FAX
Matt Senate: *in Keri voice* 555, 555-5555, I guess.
Lawyer: IT IS SENT. HAVE A HORRIBLE, MISERABLE DAY.
(The lawyer hangs up as a fax is sent through. Legion puts on a
trenchcoat quite similar to Tony Davis's number, making sure to keep his
face veiled. He picks up the fax and leaves the room, the camera
following, Legion meets the first person he sees, a lowly IWO ring
Joey Legion: Hey, buddy.
Ring Technician: Yeah?
Joey Legion: I'll give ya ten bucks if you'll run this piece of paper
down to Miss Keri Lindum and have her sign on the dotted line.
(Legion gives the technician the money. The technician takes the fax.)
Ring Technician: Sure, no problem.
Joey Legion: Excellence...
(Fade to announcers.)
GP: It's time... for the main event! Let's go!... Cyanide faces off with his North American
title on the line against Kent Anthason!
("Engine #9" by the Deftones plays as Kent Anthason makes his way to the ring... he
climbs in and preps himself up, the music fading... and "Broken" by Nine Inch Nails
replaces it. This is not the normal music of Anthason and the approaching champion,
Cyanide... but it fits.)
GP: Here we go! Cyanide slides in the ring, and Anthason hits a boot to the back of
Cyanide's head! Cyanide pops up, he and Anthason are going at it, fists back and
forth, back and forth! Cyanide pushes Anthason back, picks him up, slams him into a
corner, and gives him a hefty kick to the side of the head! Anthason takes it hard!
Cyanide picks the rookie sensation up... throws him to the opposite corner, and
MISSES A SPLASH!
Shallow: Anthason has Cyanide in the corner, drops him down with a huge boot to the
back of the head! Kent has Cyanide... drops him on the second turnbuckle, he's set up
right in the corner... Kent backs up, SPEARS CYANIDE'S BACK! The body doesn't
bend that way!
JT: It does now! Cyanide to the mat, Anthason pulls him towards the center of the
ring, he covers... one... two... Cyanide with a kick out! Anthason picks up Cyanide,
straddles his neck over the top rope! Kent wants this title badly! Anthason running
Cyanide's face against the top rope... he gives him a hearty throw into the corner, takes
Cyanide, DDT! Goes for another cover! One.... two... nope! No go! Cyanide still strong
enough to keep on going... Anthason picks him up by the hair again, Cyanide picks up
Anthason, Death Valley Driver takes down Anthason!
GP: Cyanide to his feet... he takes Anthason by the legs... turns on an inverted Boston
Crab! A Lion Tamer, you could say! Anthason trying to twist out of it, he's putting
more pressure on his back! Cyanide simply turns it right back to the original spot!
Anthason in a sticky spot.. but Cyanide lets go. He takes Anthason... brings him to his
feet... and a standing clothesline takes Kent down quickly!
JT: Cyanide with a cover... and Kent with a kick-out.
Shallow: Now Cyanide needs something different... he takes Kent, sets him up for
Testicular Termination... but Kent slips out of it, gets Cyanide, belly-to-belly! Cyanide
pops right back up, slips up behind a rising Anthason, and delivers a sterling Dragon
Suplex that lays Anthason out like a dead body! Down goes Anthason!
JT: Cyanide goes for a cover...... one........... two........ Kent kicks out again! Cyanide
shakes his head... and drops a knee on the chest of the former NA champ. Cyanide
picks him up, Implant DDT, another cover! Anthason, however, kicks out again!
Cyanide getting pissed... he takes Anthason, throws him into the corner, and follows it
up with a dropkick to Anthason's gut -- AND A LOW BLOW WITH HIS BOOT! OW!
Anthason falls forward, Cyanide with a cradle... one............. two.............. AGAIN,
KENT KICKS OUT! Cyanide doesn't like that, and he's right in the face of the ref!
Good idea. Change his decision...
GP: Cyanide pushes the ref... THE REF PUSHES HIM BACK! Cyanide is jaw-jacking
with the official... Anthason right behind him... DRAGON SLEEPER INTO A REVERSE
SUPLEX! Kent sits up, rolls, covers.... Cyanide with a kick out! Anthason with an
elbow drop onto Cyanide's throat, another cover, and another kick out! Cyanide not
stopping after a few hard knocks... Anthason takes Cyanide to his feet, droops him
over his shoulder, and Kent delivers a spinebuster! Cyanide down... Anthason hooks
both legs, covers Cyanide, but Cyanide still kicks out!
Shallow: Anthason pulls Cyanide up again... fireman's carry by Cyanide, the NA
champ has his challenger by the arm, he steps over, CAMEL CLUTCH ON
ANTHASON! Cyanide wrenches back...
JT: Hey, look who's here! Syphon Fission! And he brought a cane! The referee is
checking on Anthason...
GP: Fission on the outside, he's got the cane... Cyanide lets go... he sees Fission!
What's going on? The ref trying to take Cyanide away from Fission... Fission on the
apron, HE TAKES OUT THE REF WITH THE CANE! AND THIS CROWD LOVES IT!
Cyanide looking at the ref's fallen body... he shrugs, goes over to Anthason,
Anthason with a low blow! HE TAKES CYANIDE, TOMBSTONES HIM! CYANIDE
DOWN! ANTHASON COVERS, BUT THE REF'S OUT! Fission is to blame for that!
Kent shrugs... he takes Cyanide, picks him up for another Tombstone, but Cyanide
with a reversal, TOMBSTONE TO ANTHASON! Anthason is down!
Shallow: The referee is starting to wake up... Cyanide has Anthason... FISSION IN, HE
SNAPS THAT CANE OVER CYANIDE'S HEAD! CYANIDE GOES RIGHT DOWN! He
puts Anthason on top!
JT: Why is this crowd cheering this? HELLO! HE'S DOING HEEL THINGS!
GP: The crowd loves him anyway! We are in the Odeum, aren't we?!
JT: True... the ref crawls over............ one.............. TWO........................... NO! Cyanide
kicks out! Fission looks at the cane... he tosses it into the audience! He doesn't need
it... Anthason looks at Fission... Fission looks back at him... and now Fission is
slapping his hand on the mat! The crowd's joining in...
GP: This is weird. Cyanide picked up by Anthason... Cyanide takes Anthason,
TESTICULAR TERMINATION! HE GOT HIM WITH T2! Cyanide covers Anthason!
One... two... FISSION PULLS CYANIDE OFF! DAMMIT! And the crowd cheers this...
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? They're still clapping! Cyanide is yelling at Fission,
the ref's trying to seperate them... SAM POTRIGHT CAME OUT OF THE CROWD!
He's on the apron... he must want something to do with Fission... he pushes Fission
out of the way, the two get off the apron! Cyanide turns back to Anthason...
POTRIGHT JUST TOSSED ANTHASON SOME BRAS KNUCKS! What the hell!
WHAT THE HELL! ANTHASON HITS CYANIDE SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH
'EM! He throws those weapons into the crowd... this is insanity!
Shallow: Cyanide holding his face... Anthason covers! Fission points this out to the
ref... one.................................. TWO............................ NO! CYANIDE KICKS OUT
JT: Listen to this crowd boo that...
Shallow: Spooky. Potright and Fission are still fighting... something odd is going on...
JT: Well, DUH, Shallow. Of course there is.
GP: Anthason mad... he picks up Cyanide... TILT-A-WHIRL POWERBOMB! He takes
Cyanide, picks him up again... HE HIT SWEET SERENITY! THAT'S IT! ONE...............
TWO................ THREE! KENT ANTHASON BECOMES NORTH AMERICAN
CHAMPION AGAIN! Cyanide only held it a week! Potright and Fission roll into the
ring... maybe we can find out what the HELL is going on.
(Fission grabs a mic as the ref awards the NA title to Anthason.)
Shallow: Cyanide took a helluva beating! He kicked out of a cane shot, a brass knucks
shot, and some damn hard hits! What a competitor...
JT: What a loser.
Shallow: Maybe someone should give him a World title shot!
GP: No, really... maybe he should.
Fission: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... aw, that gimmick sucks... let me explain
this. What you see is me, the teacher... Kent, the student... and... Sam Potright. He has
his own explanation for things... which will come later, trust me. Wait until HT... all will
be explained, on his side. But, the question is... why, Syphon, why? Why return to the
IWO after retiring? Why take Kent Anthason as your "student", so to speak? Why do
anything like this?
It's simple... we live to entertain. We live to make the fans happy. We're here to give
the fans what they want... and that's a group of guys THAT DOES ANY DAMN
THING THEY WANT TO!
(The crowd pops.)
GP: Oh ho...
Fission: We knew you wanted weapons... we know you want assholes... we know you
want to see three fabulous athletes perform FOR YOU, instead of AGAINST you!
We're Mass Media Movement... M3 for short... and we're FAN-FRIENDLY SOB'S!
("Cosmonaut" by At The Drive In hits... but fades quickly as something comes up on
(We return to Davis' locker room, as we see Kent and
Kent:Shouldn't you be in the ring Tammy?
Tammy:Well, Tony isn't wrestling tonight... so my job
is rather easy.
Kent:Well, I hope to spend alot more time with you
Tammy:What do you mean?
Kent:Well, I want to come out on the road with you
Tammy. I want to go where you go, experience what you
experience. I want to be one with you... again.
Tammy:Well, I'm not sure....
Kent:Oh, it'll be marvelous!
(Kent hugs Tammy, as Tony returns to the ring from the
beating that he gave out to Flyer.)
Tony:What's goin' on?
Kent:It looks like we'll be roomin' buddies ol' chap!
(Kent raises his hand in a high five mannor, but Tony
just stares at it. He shakes his head, as he takes a
Tony:*Rubbing skull* This is not happening....
(Fade Out. Scene cut to Keri Lindum, again, who is sitting around, still shaken up
from Daze's stalkage. A knock on her door causes her to jump.)
Keri Lindum: Wh... who is it?
Ring Technician: Miss Lindum, some guy asked me to get these papers to
you to sign.
(She gets up and walks over to the door. She opens it, and the
technician hands her the paper. She sits down, grabs a pen, and signs
her name on the dotted line. She hands it back to him, but a hand
snatches the thing from his hand. Keri steps back, scared again. It's
Donnie Daze, along with a police officer.)
Donnie: *non-chalantly* Well, well, Miss Lindum. Filing restraining
orders, I see...
(He walks closer to Keri. Keri steps back until her back is to the wall.
Daze puts his arm right beside her head and above her shoulder, to where
Daze is staring a hole right throug her.)
Donnie: Too bad that this restraining order isn't against me...
Keri: Wha... what?
(Daze takes the restraining order and reads it aloud.)
Daze: To whom it is concerned. The one named Joey Malone has been hereby
allowed to be no less than fifty feet from Keri Lindum. Should he enter
this radius, he will be severely punished, from up to a few nights in
prison to heavy fines.
(Keri breaks down and starts crying.)
Daze: Hey, I don't know why you'd sign a restraining order against your
own boyfriend, either.
(Daze turns to leave, as he does so, he hands the order to the police
Daze: Your boyfriend made a BIG mistake when he messed with me...
(Daze leaves, leaving Keri alone to cry... fade to black. We go back to the ring.)
("My Own Prison" by Creed plays... as IWO wrestlers make their way out, in two
single-file lines. Donnie Daze leads... he casts a weary eye at the three in the ring...
Cyanide is sitting on the steps at the outside... guys like Bob Job and The Spaz Event
and Suicide Kings are there... Zombie's out there... everyone. The entire IWO roster.
President Evan Levine appears on the IWOTron, live from a hospital bed. He coughs.)
Levine: Well... now that I understand that the IWO is all out there... I guess it's time for
the announcement. What it is... is that, next Monday... the roster will be involved in a
bevy of gimmick matches... because next week is not a Night of Champions... BUT THE
NIGHT OF GIMMICKS!
After watching tonight's happenings....... *cough*... from a hospital, thanks to
(The crowd cheers for Evan being in the hospital.)
Levine: ... I've already got a card shaping up. Lemme see here... in a Dueling Tables
match... for the World title...
(Daze's face droops when he hears "dueling tables" and "for the world title" in one
Levine: After watching Cyanide put on a fight... he gets a shot at the World title! Daze
In a submissions match... it's Syphon Fission versus Zombie! And Zomb-o... you
know you deserve it!
In a steel cage... um.... since Sam Potright shoved the divorce papers down my throat...
how about we put you in a match against Dane Matthews? Yeah, that's good. He
deserves to get a good shot in against you after you attacked him earlier tonight.
Now... since Joey's got that restraining order against him... and since Daze is already
filled in for next week... how about an "Explosive Chairs" handicap match? Just so
Malone feels how Daze will feel... it'll be Joey Legion and Matt Senate taking on Joey
Malone! You'll find out how chairs explode later.
Extreme title match... how about the "Real Heel" match? Yep... it's named after me.
There's only one rule... NO WEAPONS! You touch a chair, a table, anything, you lose
the match! Tod defends against... um...... Simon Seaman!
Lemme see... TV Title... TV... how about a "Studio" match for the TV title, eh, AWS
Man? Match takes place in a television studio. You and The Mysterious Birdman.
Yep... that sounds nice.
In a "Loser Leaves Town" match... yep... that damn LiGil, the Black Phantom... Jade O'
Dell... and The Spaz Event! All in one match! First pinfall made means the guy that's
under that other guy's body... GOES BYE BYE! MWA HA HA! *Cough cough*
Now... for everyone else... hmmm... who knows. You got the night off. Be happy... be
content... and most of all... SEND ME "GET-WELL-SOON" CARDS! AND TAKE A
CRAP IN ZOMBIE'S BAG IF YOU CAN! GOOD-NIGHT! *Cough*
(The view of Evan fades... wrestlers begin filing towards the exit, when the lights go
out... and "We've got the fire to burn this motherfucker down!" is shouted through the
arena. The lights return... and there's the symbol of ?¿?.)
~ Finé ~