Old News

Meltdown Preview
Hostile Takeover
Takeover Preview
Title History
Executive Board

Pay Per View
Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3
Desperate Measures
Desperate Measures Promo
PPV Archives
PPV Idiotesque Rants
PPV Promo Archives

Park Place
Phelen Kell Report

Real Audio
Returning Soon

Year-End Awards
History of the Fed
Hall of Fame

Awards We've Won
Link to Us

Site Map
IWO (Blue)
IML (Red)
IML˛ (Green)
IML3 (Brown)
IWO Indi (2002)


[The scene opens with a heart beating sound as IWO banner fades in as words fly all around it. Pride, Honnor pass the screen as the banner fades out. As it fades in the words Phelen Kell and Zombie fly around the screen to another heart beat. Then as a O flys across the screen we see the words Hate and Love fly around and fade in. With the last heart beat the O flys in with the names Mysterious One and Titan following it. Finally the IWO comes ablaze as the IWO symbole flys past it as it fades out.]

[All of a sudden "What If" By Creed starts to play as we fade in with scenes of last nights PPV.]

Voice(Syphon Fission): The Father is......Fisher Price!

[The scene cuts to Evan Levine attacking Carmon]

Voice(Evan Levine): You don't have the guts to be champ!

[The scene cuts to Evan getting hit with a car with Syphon as the driver.]


[Scene cuts to the PPV last night were we see Syphon taking Evan out as the fans go nuts. Then VP Tom runs into the ring and makes the count]

Voice(GP): FORD WITH THE COUNT!!! 1..........2.............3!!!!!!! HE DID IT SYPHON WINS!

Voice(JT): EVAN IS GONE........NO!!!!!!

[The screen color goes to red as it cuts to Jax Stone and Joey Malone fighting]

Voice(Shallow): These two are going to kill each other!

[The scene cuts to clips of Jax and Joey fighting over the NA title in one of the most hard hitting matches in IWO history! As "What If" plays on the scene cuts to a shot of The Spazevent rejoing and Adam Wars holding the IWO Pac title high in his hands with Daze on the mat only to have a scene of Daze holding the Extreme title high!]

Voice(GP) WHAT A PPV!!! PPV.......PPV....(echo)

[The scene fades out]

[The scene fades back in with a shot of the IWO symbol as it melts into the MNM symbol and then explodes as "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses starts to play. Then all of a sudden the scene cuts to a live feed from the Boston Fleet center and a sold out crowed of 28000 people. The camera pans all around as we see people going nuts and all on there feet as the camera cuts to GP, JT, and Shallow ready to announce the matchs for this MNM]


JT: Why the hell am I working this show....I don't do MNM anymore!

Shallow: Yea...why am I doing this show? It doesnt make any sence what so ever.

GP: Because all the other announcers are somewhere else and we were on the plane so they stuck us in here!

JT: Damn, the IWO has gone to hell since VP Tom took over.

Shallow: It hasn't been more then 24 hours since he took over.

JT: Yea, 24 hours of HELL!! I want Evan back...NOW!

GP: Fans we have one hell of a show for you tonight. We Have The Facts of Life vs Gunnar Smith and Sam Potright.

Shallow: Also Eddie Cheno will go into his second match here in the IWO to face Adam Wars for the Pac title! What a match that will be!

JT: Yea,and on top of all of that, We're supposed to see an IWO superstar come back for one night only and face off against......Dane Matthews

Shallow: I wonder who it is?!?!

GP: That and much more tonight on we need to...........

[All of a sudden "I am your Boogie Man" by White Zombie starts to play as the fans start to boo. The lights dim as the camera pans all around the building as it focuses on the enterice to see Discord walk out with Evan by her side.]

GP: What!!! I thought he was taken off TV!?!?

JT: Shut up!

[Evan walks into the ring and takes the mic out of Meygons hands as the fans start to toss things into the ring]

Shallow: Whats that in Evan's hand?

GP: Looks like a copy of IWO Rule book!


[The scene cuts to Evan who waits for the fans to shut up.]

Evan: Due to what people think, the reports of my demise are very very, NOT TRUE! Because I sand before you still in the IWO and, STILL THE IWO PREZ!

GP and Shallow: WHAT!!!!!!

JT: YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!! The IWO Rules!

Evan: Now, last night we saw Syphon Fission retain the IWO world title..

[Fans go nuts]

Evan: SHUT UP!!! You people woulnt know a good champ if it smaked you on the ass!

[Fans boo]

Evan: Now, the way Fission won back the title was something I consider wrong...and not a real count! Lets play the footage!

[The cameras go to the IWO TRON]

(Levine is shown blowing himself out with the fire
extinquisher, but the ring is still burning on one
side. Levine tries to get to his feet, as he sees
Kosoy going to make the count on a fallen AWS Man(Also
Known as Bill). Levine dives over, and pulls Jamie up
off the mat.)


(Evan hits Jamie in the head with the fire
extinquisher, knocking Jamie down to the mat, and out
of the ring.)


(Syphon grabs LiGiL, and picks him up from the mat.
Syphon backs into Levine, as he turns around. He sees
Levine standing there, still alive and no longer
burning, as Syphon kicks Levine in the gut, and
delivers one hell of a Death Plunge.)


GP:LiGiL is up on his feet, as Syphon turns around,
kick to the gut... DEATH PLUNGE ON LiGiL! DEATH PLUNGE


(All of a sudden, a man jumps out from the crowd,
referee shirt on, as he slides into the ring.)



GP:Does that mean the company is Ford's now?!?

JT:Where the hell did he come from?!?

("Synthetic" by Spineshank blares over the speakers as
Syphon Fission realizes he's defended his championship
in a grueling match. Ford walks over, and hands
Fission the world title, as Fission seems to just give
him in a weird look. Ring crews begin to spray out the
fire that started. He is the only man left in the
ring. Just then, the music dies out. )



[The scene cuts back to Evan]

Evan: IM SICK TOO!....Infact I can't stand to think about it. Jamie you might think you stopped me....Syphon you might think your great....FORD!!!!!! You might think your the boss, well your NOT!

[Fans boo]

GP: What?

Shallow: Odd.

Evan: Thats right....I said your not the boss...I AM! I am still prez of this federation. And I challenge anyone who says other wise!

[All of a sudden "Hail to the Chief" plays as the fans come to there feet. NEW IWO President Tom Ford makes his way out from the back. The fans going nuts as Ford looks around with a mic in hand]

GP: There he is the NEW! IWO President!

JT: The prez job swiches so much would think were WCW!

[Ford looks out to the fans as they are still going nuts]

Ford: Levine, consider yourself challenged!

[The fans pop]

Evan: OK!!! OK!!! How about this, the fact that you NEVER....signed the contract to be in the match meaning your count that you made just doesnt count! MEANING...Syphon never won....MEANING...I STILL RUN THE FED! HA!

[The fans boo as Ford just looks at Evan]


[Ford still looking at Evan as if he doesnt know what to say.]

Evan: Well....

Ford: OK win this one.


Ford: But your forgetting one can't fire me due to my clause in my contract. And as long as im here as VP you will NEVER be able to toy with people again!

[The fans go nuts]

Ford: And I will be waiting...and watching and once you slip up I will be there to take back the IWO President job...AND BRING IT BACK TO THE PEOPLE!

[The fans pop!]

Ford:Think of this as a simple fair warning Evan...

JT: Who is he the Rock, people my ass!

Shallow: They pay your bills!

JT: There good people!

Ford: Now...Evan..........


[Fans boo]


[Fans get louder as Evan just looks at them]

Evan: Tom, the only question I have for you is, how you going to stop me when you can't even get into the building?

Ford: Huh?

[All of a sudden 5 gaurds walk out and grab Ford by the arms.]

Evan: Ford you can either be with me, or fight me, and we all know what the easyer way is!

[The fans scream FIGHTING!]

Evan: Tom, I can do this to you every damn night if I need to, I might not be able to fire you but I sure as hell can kick you out of my buildings! GET HIM OUT OF HERE BOYS!

[The guards pick up Ford, and physically takes him out of the building as the camera cuts back to Evan in the ring]

Evan: Now...before I leave, I want to clear up the fact that no one was pinned at due to that fact, I will play it nice and let Syphon retain BUT, he must face Dane Matthews this Friday on HT for that belt!

[The fans pop]

Evan: Cheer all you want...but I will not rest till Syphin Fission is NO LONGER THE CHAMP! Have a nice day, I know your Real Heel will!

["I am your Boogie Man" plays as the fans boo and Evan starts to leave the ring]

GP: This is just we need to take a break will be right back with our opening match!

[Cuts to a BHBB3 recap]

[The scene opens in the back were we see Donnie Daze walking into the building with a huge Pop]

GP: There is the new Extreme champ!

JT: Right.

[As Daze walks in, we see Sabashtian Crow standing there.]

Daze: What the hell you looken at?

Crow: That belt will look nice in my hands.

Daze: *Laughs* You think you can beat me, don't you?

Crow: Maybe,but maybe not, I think you're nothing but a waste of time.

[Daze smiles and walks away as Crow comes from behind and nails him over the head with a chair.]


[The refs hit the scene as they break up the two and the scene cuts back to the ring]

GP: Fans welcome back to MNM, we saw one hell of a opening with Evan Levine still the IWO Prez and VP Ford escorted from the building, the night has only just begun!

JT: Man, Evan is the shit, and there is no doubt that he will bring the IWO back to greatness!

Shallow: The IWO is great, Evan is killing it if anything.

JT: Shut your mouth fool!

Shallow: I was only talking about Evan.

JT: You Damn right!

GP: Will you two shut up!

JT: Sorry

GP: Fans were ready for our first match of the night, Gunnar Smith and Sam Potright vs The Facts of Life! This one should be.....

JT: Time killer.

Shallow: Yea, The Facts of Life are just well, there just bad.

JT: Word up!

GP: Don't get me wrong when I say this...but the facts of life can pull out with the win in this one if they can work on Gunner and Potrights week points.

Shallow: What week points?

GP: Beats me...lets go to the ring and Meygon!

Meygon: Ladies and Gentalment WELCOME TO MNM!!!!

[Fans pop]

Meygon: Our first match of the night is for one fall...INTRODUCING FIRST! From TV LAND!! They are the team of Toodie and Blair. THEY ARE THE FACTS OF LIFE!

[The fans give...0 reaction as The Facts of Life make there way to the ring.]

JT: Damn I always liked this show...then these people come around.

Shallow: Blair was hot...but not this one!

["Respect Walking" by Pantara starts to play as the fans go nuts. All on there feet the fans start a chant as Gunnar Smith and Sam Potright make there way out to the ring]

Meygon: Comming to the ring at this time.....the team of GUNNAR SMITH AND SAM POTRIGHT!

Shallow: Listen to the reaction from the fans on this one....they might be heels but the fans sure as hell love them!

JT: Yea....damn fans!

GP: MY God are the fans into it tonight.

[Gunnar and Sam get into the ring as the Facts of Life get out]

GP: This match is all ready to lets get things rolling!


[The bell sounds and Toodie gets into the ring and is met by Sam Potright. Potright smiles at Toodie as he runs at her. She runs away screaming as Potright just laughs.]

GP: OK this is a slow start.

[The ref yells at Toodie for running away as the two lock up and Potright wins it and sends Toodie into the corner...OH BIG SPLASH!!! Now Potright is kicking a hole in Toodies chest]

JT: How many times is he going to kick her?

fans: 1.....2.........3..........4........5..........6........7.........8........9.......10!!!

[The ref pulls Potright off of Toodie as he runs to the other side of the ring and now runs at Toodie...OH!!!! Smashs his knee right in Toodies face. Potright picks her up now and sends her into the ropes....OH SPINE BUSTER!]

Shallow: What a move and the pin 1........2.......NO!! Potright picked Toodie up!

[The ref yells at Potright as he body slams her into the fat and drivs a hard elbow into her chest. Bord now Potright tags in Gunnar. Gunnar jumps right in and goes to work right away on Toodie...left right left right left right...KICK TO THE BALLS! Toodie who aparently has some falls to the mat holding her balls. The fans go nuts as Gunnar runs into the ropes and comes off with a diving drop kick to the face of Toodie! Gunnar gets right up and picks Toodie up with him....SUPLEX!!!]

GP: This is just sad...there has been no offence on the side of Toodie what so ever.

[Gunnar just now sits there looking at Toodie dead on the mat.]

JT: This is boring.

[Gunnar now just bord picks toodie up and walks her over to her corner and taks the hand of Toodie and tags in Blair for her.]

GP: What the hell?

[Blair wanting no part of this jumps down to the floor and starts to run but is met with a hard hit to the head by Potright. Gunnar and potright having enough toss Blair into the ring and are getting ready to end this.]

GP: Well this was a waist of air.

[All of a sudden from the back run Spazevent. The fans start to react as they hit the ring and run over Gunnar and Potright!]

GP: Sapzevent is killing Potright and Gunnar.

[Beating down on them the ref tries to break it up but cant and is pushed away. With that the ref calls for the bell]


GP: Well this one is over....its going to be a DQ!

[Spaz gets out of the ring and picks up s steel chair and tosses it to Kevin and gets one for himself.....They then set up Gunnar as he stands up.]


[Gunnar stands up and is hit from both sides of his head with a steel chair. The fans not the happyest people in the world react as they do the same thing to Potright.]

Shallow: MY GOD!!!! This is not even funny...

[Sapz and Kevin drop the chairs and get out of the ring as the refs hit the scene to check on Gunnar and Potright.]

Meygon: Here is your winner by DQ....the team of.....GUNNAR SMITH AND SAM POTRIGHT!

[ The scene cuts to the back were we see the IWO Television Champion Ben Archer is walking backstage. ]

Ben Archer: Being TV Champ rules.....

JT: WAIT! THERE'S WHY! WHY JUST NAILED THE TELEVISION CHAMPION IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR! Why picks the fallen Archer up, front facelock, and he takes him vertical for a suplex.......AND SPINS HIM AROUND INTO A STUNNER! A VERTICAL SUPLEX INTO A STUNNER! He calls that move the Questioning Mind!

~[Why]~ Archer..........your title shall be mine.....

[The scene cuts to a Nads add]

(Scene opens to the back where Evan Levine is sitting...watching tapes of himself in his younger IWO days..)

Evan Levine: Wow, I remember that match! I crushed Tyler Johnson!

*Knock Knock*

Evan Levine: Jeez WHO IS IT!?

Voice: It's me!!

Evan Levine: Oh that really helps. Get in here!

(Scott Stone walks in..)

Evan Levine: What the hell do you want? I thought you retired..

Scott Stone: Umm..nope. But it may seem like it! Anyway, Evan your the man I have to come to. And you owe me a few..favors..

Evan Levine: Wait wait, what do you mean, FAVORS, what have you done for me??

Scott Stone: Well back when we were in a stable together. Remember all those beatings I took, just for you. And well, now your the president, and you owe me..BIG TIME! So I am asking..NO..DEMANDING a title shot!!

Evan Levine: Scott, since you came back what is your record??

Scott Stone: 1 win 7 losses.

Evan Levine: I think I've proven my point, you can have a match Scott, and if you win, you will get a #1 contender's shot for any title you damn well please! And your! HAHA!

Scott Stone: Why???

Evan Levine: Cause I said so!

Scott Stone: Noo who is Why?

Evan Levine: Oh..haha silly me. He's your opponent now..go face him!!

(Scott runs out..)

Evan Levine: Stupid jobber...

[A worker walks in]

Worker: Mr. Levine?

Evan: WHAT?!?

Worker: I was told to tell you that Daze and Crow got into a fight.

Evan: So?

Worker: I don’t know sir…that’s what I was supposed to tell you.

Evan: Okay…well do this who ever told you that…go back to them and tell them to book Crow and Daze one on one for the Extreme title tonight!

[Fans pop]

Worker: Yes Sir.

Evan: Oh…and after he books it…tell him he's fired!

Worker: Huh……uh….yes sir!

[The worker runs out]

Evan: It's good to be the boss.

[cuts to a break]

GP: This next match was sanctioned by President Levine after Scott Stone demanded Evan Levine for a title shot, but our beloved President didn't think Scott deserved one cause of his 7-match losing streak!

JT: So why does Scott have to fight Why?

GP: I'm not done! So that brings us to this match, Scott Stone vs Why! IF Scott wins, he recieves a #1 contenders match at Hostile Takeover, if he loses, well..he loses..and both men are already in the ring, so..LET'S GO!

*Ding Ding Ding*

GP: And this match is underway!!! Why charges at the veteran Stone and knocks him over, Stone back up quickly and Why clotheslines him down!! Stone up again, and takes out Why with a spear!!

Shallow: Why up and swings at Stone but Stone ducks! And a kick to the gut, and a DDT on Why delivered by Scott Stone!!

JT: C'mon Scotty! Beat this damned rookie!!

GP: Scott bounces off the ropes, and Why up quickly and a big clothesline and Scott flips in air!! Why is a powerful powerful man!! Why stomping away on the chest of Stone, he picks up Stone and hoists him on his shoulders, and throws him up and slams him! Stone is out!!

Shallow: Why get's up, and stomps on Stone numerous times, the ref has to remove him!!

JT: This can't be over already! This would be eight straight losses by Scott Stone!!

(Scene cuts back to Prez Levine's office where it's on his T.V...)

President Levine: I just let Scott Stone in my office didn't I?? Damn. I don't want this guy to win, let's go Why!!!

(Scene cut's back..)

JT: HAHA! Obviously nobody likes Scott Stone anymore! He's a worthless jobber! Even a rookie Why is beating him!

Shallow: Anyone can beat Scott, even you can JT!! Right Greg?

GP: Umm.. This is insane! A rookie..wait Stone turns it around, Stone 'SUICIDAL TENDENCIES'....CONNECTS!!! IT'S OVER!! 1..2..THRE!! NO!! How did he kick out!?!

Shallow: Umm Greg, about everyone has kicked outta the Suicidal's not a powerful move anymore..

JT: Yeah that move is as powerful as my grandma's home-made Lemonade!

Shallow: That was so corny JT!

GP: Scott up and is a little pissed, grabs Why by the hair and whips him into the corner, runs and GETS A BOOT TO THE FACE!!

JT: Ouch that had to hurt! Scott falls right to the floor and Why goes to the top rope, jumps and connects with a frog splash! The pin! 1...2..kickout by Stone!!

Shallow: Almost lost! Stone almost lost! It would have shocked me!!

JT: I wouldn't care! Wait! Stone up and Why is setting him up, he runs and goes for a spear but Scott blocks, DDT!! Pin by Stone! 1...2....THR! NO!!

GP: Oh, ok. Scott is now arguing with the ref, two times in a row he was jipped!! Why turns around, notices this, turns Scott around!! FLAP JACK ON SCOTT STONE!! The pin!! 1...2...3!!!!!! WHY HAS JUST DEFEATED SCOTT STONE!! MY GOD!!

(Cuts back to Levine's office..)

Evan Levine: HAHA. What a loser..

Shallow: Why has defeatead Scott Stone!! That makes it eight losses in a row for the former 2 time IWO Tag and North American Champion!! What a bad way to end his career..

GP: He isn't retiring dipshit..he just is a official...jobber!! Let's move on!

GP: I don't know what else we're going to be able to expect from this wild, Monday Night Meltdown..

JT: I'm not sure Phelen, but what I do know, is our IWO World Champion is stuck in Paris, France without his passport!

Shallow: I know, thats going to cause some major problems..

[ "Memory Remains" by Metallica begins to play around the arena, as the fans get up and begin booing...A rather confident, and cocky Dane Matthews begins walking down to ringside..]

GP: Here he comes! Here's the REALDEAL DANE MATTHEWS!

JT: YOu know, I was tagteam champ with that bastard before!

Shallow: Then, you retired because you couldn't take it..

GP: Ouch! LowBlow!

JT: Shut up and listen to what Matthews has got to say..

Dane Matthews: Faggots, Retards, Lesbians and all Homosexuals alike..*Fans begin Booing* That is right..Your IWO World Heavyweight Champion has arrived on the scene right here! *Fans begin shouting Syphon* NONONO! Stop that right damn now! This isn't about Syphon Fission! This is about ONE DANE MATTHEWS!

GP: Boy, this young man, is rather cocky tonite! I like it!

JT: You would!

Dane Matthews: Last night at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3, we saw a screw job occur, when Syphon Faggot came down to the ring and allowed Donnie Daze to become IWO Extreme Champion..Obviously your "Champion" as you call him, is nothing more than a Coward..A slimball, a BackFighter somebody NONE of you should be looking up to..And where is YOUR Champion might I ask? After defending that World Title so GREATLY, where is the little faggot?! Want to see where he is..Backstage, role last nights clip!

( The IWO-Tron appears and re-plays last nights event.)
(Suddenly, "Memory Remains" by Metallica plays over the speakers. The
fans begin to boo.)

GP: No…


(The IWO-Tron shows a picture of Dane Matthews, in Syphon Fission's
locker room. The fans begin to boo as he talks. )

Dane: Hello Syph. Seems you like to screw people…huh.

(Syphon, off his turnbuckle, looks at him and shrugs his shoulders.)

Dane: Screw me out of the Extreme Title will ya? I was going to let
you survive until Hostile Takeover…where I would end your IWO World Title

(The fans boo more. Syphon laughs. Dane gets pissed. )

Dane: Yeah…mister Champion…well…

(He lifts up a passport. It belongs to Syphon Fission, obviously. )

Dane: Now…mister champion…you prevent me from being champion…you have
to make it to Hostile Takeover. Well…I would like to see you try with out a…

(He rips the passport to shreds and lights it on fire. Syphon's eyes
become as large as water melons. )

Dane: See you Friday…if you're lucky…Champ…

(The IWO-tron fades as Dane Matthews laughs. Syphon throws the World
Title belt to the mat as he goes ballistic. )


Shallow: Dane Matthews burns Syphon's passport.

GP: What a climax to a great night. But how will Syphon Fission make
it to Hostile Takeover to defend his title?



(As the IWO-Tron ends showing what happened last night on Broken Hearts,Broken Bones 3, the camera pans back to Dane Matthews, who is standing there in the middle of the ring recieving some MAJOR heat.)

Dane Matthews: YOUR Champion, is currently stuck in Paris, France..Which leaves me asking this ONE question for you all..Where is the coward going to be when Hostile Takeover comes around? Where is YOUR Champion going to be when that Son of a Bitch has to defend the "Championship" against THE REALDEAL?! Where's Team CGI's leader going to be? Who's going to help Donnie Daze get ANOTHER win against the King of the IWO? That's right he's NOT going to be here to help ANYONE of your sorry ass'. Friday Night, on Hostile Takeover your going to see the beginning of a NEW Revolution. But, we're not worried about Hostile Takeover right now..It's about whats going on here right fucking now! What's going to happen with Syphon Fission gone, and out..
PK: What the hell's he talking about?

JT: Bring WHO OUT?!

[ The French National Anthem begins to play, as the French flag waves over the IWO-Tron, the French Ambassador, walks out towards the ring and is holding onto some sort of paper work.]

Dane Matthews: Read off the rules Frenchie..

French Ambassador Guy: This here paper, states that if ONE doesn't have there passport they shall not be able to leave the country of France. Without your passport, your nothing more than an unknown citizen. For those without passports, it takes about thirty five days to claim another passport.

Dane Matthews: Here that people? Your FORMER IWO World Heavyweight Champion, Syphon Faggot is NOW nothing more than a FRENCH CITIZEN! *Fans begin booing like crazY* Thank you for time Faggots and Germs a like..YOUR NEW IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION has spoke his mind!

["Memory Remains" by Metallica begins to start up again, as Dane Matthews make his way towards the backstage area recieving a HUGE chorus of boo's.]

GP: Oh My God! Matthews is going to become World Champ! Syphon's screwed!

JT: I don't know..Syphon knows how to pack some major fight..

Shallow: I don't care what you say, without a passport we've got nothing!

*Cut to Commercial!*

(The scene opens in the IWO Green House, since there was no white paint
available. Sitting at his desk with a flag of the United States on each
side of him, we see Simon Seaman, still the IWO U.S. Champion and YOUR

Simon-"Ladies and gentleman. Yesterday at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones, I
did what I promised to do and kicked some foreign 'bootay' if you will. I
once again proved to all you Americans that Simon Seaman isn't out for
himself, Simon Seaman is out for you.


Simon-"Last night at the Pay-Per-View, 'Pop n' Fresh' Ben O'Connor learned
that the hard way. You do not mess with me, you do mess with my people.
You do not mess...with the United States. I am here on your televisions
screens to prove people a point. I will not stop fighting to please each
and every American on earth. If you don't believe me, I present you with a
cheque for $1,000,000 as a token of my love for this country."

(The cameraman puts the camera down and whispers something into Simon's

Simon-"On second thought, I present you with..."

(He looks around his desk to find something.)

Simon-"A pez dispenser! Why you say ? It's because I care."

(Simon stands up and salutes the American flag.)

Simon-"So as I leave you here tonight, I would like to show my appreciation
to this great country. For I am your president. For I am the IWO United
States Champion. So without further or do, maestro if you will..."

(The 'Happy Days' theme song plays as Simon salutes the flag.)

Simon-"That's so beautiful. God bless America. Go Richie Cunningham go!

VOICEOVER-"Simon Seaman. Smarter than George W. Bush. A better taste of
women than Bill Clinton.

(Back to Meltdown.)

GP:Fans, Adam Wars is just over twenty four hours from
recieving his Pacific Championship off of Donnie Daze,
and he puts it on the line tonight against a very
worthy competitor.

Shallow:A man who just got his contract a little over
twenty four hours ago. Until then, he was simply a
manager, and now, he's a full fledged IWO superstar.

GP:Eddie Cheno, bong in hand, defeated Billy Ray to
get his contract, and just one day later, he steps
into the ring against the Pacific Champion...

JT:I hope he has an extra bong...

(We fade into the ring, as we see Meygon standing
there, microphone in hand.)

Meygon:This next match, is scheduled for one fall, and
is for the Pacific Championship...

("Smoke two Joints" by Sublime is heard as the fans
get to their feet in cheers.)

Meygon:Introducing first, from Baltimore, Maryland,
and weighing in at 235 pounds, here is the Bong Toker
himself... EDDIE CHENO!

(Cheno steps out from the back, and holds the six foot
glass bong high in the air.)

GP:And you would think the PTC would be after us for
showing this, but they aren't.

JT:They only care about naked women, it's a conspiracy
against people like myself I tell you.

Meygon:And his opponent, he recently won the Pacific
Title against Donnie Daze, and weighs in at 222
pounds... here is ADAM WARS!

('Dragula' by Rob Zombie is heard, as Adam Wars walks
out from the back. He holds the title high in the air,
as he makes his way to the ring.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

(Wars hands Meygon the Pacific Championship, as Cheno
looks on. He takes a hit from his bong, and sets it in
the corner.)

GP:Is this drug use needed to be shown?

JT:It's a ratings graber...

(Wars looks over at Cheno, as Wars extends his hand.
Cheno doesn't seem to really know what to do, so he
just takes his hand out and lets Wars' shake it.)

Shallow:Not smart! Wars pulls Cheno in and
clotheslines him back to the mat!

JT:That's inexperience in the ring.

GP:Cheno quickly to his feet, as Wars sends him off
the ropes. Cheno comes back, ducks a clothesline, back
off, and he goes for a cross body, but Wars' moved out
of the way!

Shallow:Wars anticipated the move, and Cheno, a rookie
in the ring, didn't expect to fall on his face.

JT:Wars doesn't let Cheno out of the ring, as he
immediatly hits a snap mare takeover on Cheno. Wars
leaps and dropkicks Cheno in the back of the head,
sending Cheno down holding exactly what was kicked.

GP:Wars is not letting up on the onslaught, as he
grabs Cheno by the head and the neck, and flips over,
cracking Cheno's neck.

Shallow:Wars is just taking it to Cheno right now, as
we see Adam picking up Cheno. Cheno is fighting back
with a couple of rights, but Wars clobbers him in the
back of the neck with a huge elbow shot. Wars hooks
Cheno in a side headlock, and slowly begins to climb
up the top rope.

GP:Wars is signaling for a tornado ddt, and he
STAYS THE COVER, 1-NO! Wars gets a shoulder up!

JT:I don't think Wars expected that out of Cheno! Wars
is back up, as is Cheno, as Wars sends Cheno back down
with a huge dropkick.

Shallow:Wars grabs Cheno back up, and sends him into
the corner. Wars with a HUGE chop to the chest of
Cheno, and now Wars rips off Cheno's tank top, and
nails him with ANOTHER huge chop!

GP:Cheno fights back, a couple right hands to Wars,
sending him backwards, as Wars fires back with a huge
chop. Wars goes back towards Cheno in the corner, but
Cheno ducks down and slams Wars' head into the corner

Shallow:Smart move by Cheno, as Cheno goes behind
Wars. He's going for the Bong hit!

GP:NO! Wars lifts Cheno upward, and DROPS Cheno on his
head with an Emerald Fussion type move! Cheno is
folded like an accordian! Cover by Wars, 1-2-NO!
Kickout barely by Eddie Cheno.

JT:You think Cheno can feel pain?


JT:I mean, he's probably stoned out of his mind, he
probably can't think straight, you think he can feel

Shallow:You're a complete dumbass JT.

GP:Wars is up to his feet, as he's waiting for Cheno
to get to his feet. Cheno rises up, as Wars goes for a
dropkick, but Cheno sidesteps him!

JT:Cheno saw it coming, and I guess he's maturing as
we speak... Wars landed flat on his face, as he's
trying to regain his sense.

Shallow:Cheno is waiting on Wars, as Adam gets to his


JT:ONE... TWO... NO! WARS' foot was on the ropes!

GP:We almost had a new Pacific Champion out of

Shallow:Cheno can't believe it, he thought he had Wars
beat, as Cheno picks up Wars off the canvas. Cheno
kicks Wars in the gut, and takes him up for a
powerbomb... but Wars wriggles free.

JT:Wars is going for the Aftermath! Full Nelson, but
Cheno breaks out of it and ducks behind Wars! He locks
him in an inverted Headlock! Cheno is going for the
Bong hit!

GP:NO! Wars chops Cheno in the gut, and ducks behind

Shallow:Wars covers Cheno... One... two... THREE! Wars
defeats Cheno and retains his Pacific Championship!

Meygon:Your winner, via Pinfall... and STILL, IWO
Pacific Champion... ADAM... WARS!!!

Amy: And coming to the ring first a newer guys here in the IWO Jeff King.

(as the curtain opens Jeff King comes out of the back raising his arms in
the air like he is some kind of a champions here in the IWO as he gets into
the ring he is ready for spaz)

JT: What a comple putz this Jeff King guy is get him out of there Shallow
get in the ring you have a better chance than King!

Shallow: Ya no shit I do!

GP: You guys are both morons how did I get paired to announce with both of
you…..well back to Amy Spaz is about to come to the ring.

Amy: And coming to the ring next a man who has won many titles here in the
IWO he is Sppaaaaazzzzzzzzzz!!

(as the curtains open Spaz comes running out and running right for the ring
and he stills looks beat up from last nights PPV)

JT: Spaz is going to wipe the mat with this punk.

Shallow: No shit he is going to!

GP: Oh well off to the action in the ring!




JT: Well Spaz and Jeff King are both squaring off in the ring as King goes
to throw a punch and he misses Spaz and Spaz hits an inverted Neck Breaker
on King stunning him to the floor of the mat.

Shallow: And Spaz lands an elbow on top of King but King rolls right to his
feet and Spaz is surprise at this guys mobility in the ring and King is
ready to go again. As King charges at Spaz and Spaz trips him up with a toe
drag move.

GP: That was a very nice move by Spaz but I think he has just made King
even madder. And King is right back up and calling Spaz towards him and
Spaz answers the call crushing King with a fore arm right across his face
and King is bleeding and might have a broken nose.

JT: Spaz now has King up in a power bomb and hits that right in the middle
of the mat and Spaz is now playing with the crowd a bit waving his hands at
them and flicking them off as Spaz laughs it off a bit then goes back to the
action in the ring.

Shallow: Look at Spaz he is just taking it to Jeff King tonight on MNM wow
what a way to come off of a PPV with a great match like this! I love it
Spaz could be going to the top with a performance like this!

GP: I totally agree with you Shallow…….Spaz could be going to the top of
his game tonight and to the top of the rankings if he continues to punish
Jeff King like this!

JT: Hold on here who is that coming to the ring?

GP: It is Sam Potright and Gunnar Smith……..

Shallow: What the hell do they want?

JT: Revenge for what Spaz did to them last night at the PPV!

Shallow: And Spaz don’t see them oh no…….

(as Sam Potright and Gunnar Smith both jump in the ring and begin to beat
the shit out of Spaz as they Power Bomb Spaz onto the concrete on the
outside of the ring as they both laugh and leave the ring to the back)

Amy: And this match has been ruled a NO DECISION!!!!!

GP: What the fuck Spaz had a great night till those two asses ruined it
fuck them!

Shallow: Right……

GP: Fans we need to take a break will be right back!

[cuts away]

("Your Disease" by Saliva begins to blast throughout the arena. The crowd gives a huge pop as Donnie Daze makes his way to the ring. He has his Extreme title around his waist. He walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. Then he catches a microphone thrown to him from a member of the ring crew as his music fades out)

GP: I wonder what Daze is doing here.

JT: He's probably here to stink up the place.

Shallow: He managed to pick up the win from Dane Matthews for the Extreme title Sunday at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3.

JT: Oh course Syphon Fission had to interfere.

Shallow: It's the Extreme title! No DQ my friend.

JT: He still needed help.

GP: Calm down guys.

(Daze taps on the microphone. Then begins to speak)

Donnie: I'm sure everyone saw Broken Hearts, Broken Bones on Sunday. Yours truly went in a champion, and left a champion. With two different titles being involved. I came in the Pacific Champion, and managed to lose a chair duel to Adam Wars.

(The crowd boos)

Donnie: Then I made it to the Extreme title match with Dane Matthews. Everyone was on in this match. I kicked his ass all over the ring. When it was said and done, my loyal Team CGI buddy Syphon Fission was there to help me out. But also on the show, was a little number one contender's match. It was between Sabastard Crow and the awesome Mysterious Birdman for a shot at my Extreme title. Sabastard picked up the win, and now it's time to show me what he has. Why don't you come out here and get your ass kicked!

(Daze throws the microphone down, leans on the front of the ropes and stares at the entrance)

GP: There we have it! Daze just called out Sabastian Crow.

JT: Crow will come out here and kick Daze's ass.

Shallow: It should be a good match.

(Suddenly Sabastian Crow slides into the ring behind Daze. He has a chair in his hand)

GP: Holy crap! Crow is in the ring!

JT: He's got a chair.

Shallow: It's the Extreme title, what do you expect.

GP: Daze doesn't even realize it.

(Crow runs up to Daze and smacks him in the back with the chair)

GP: What a shot by Crow!

(Daze falls to the mat. Crow drops the chair and begins to lay boots into Daze. He stops and picks up Daze. Then he irish whips him to the ropes. Daze comes off the ropes and Sabastian takes him off of his feet with a back elbow. A referee slides into the ring and positions himself. He rings the bell)


GP: It looks like we finally have a referee.

JT: And an official Extreme title match.

Shallow: That elbow shot could have broken Daze's nose.

JT: It should have. He's got a huge nose! It's like an elephant's trunk!

GP: Just call the match.

Shallow: Now that you mention it...

GP: For the love of god call the match!

(Crow picks Daze up and grabs him from behind. He lifts him and connects with an atomic drop. Daze falls to the mat holding his tailbone)

Shallow: Daze is on the mat. Sabastian is picking him up again.

GP: Crow whips him to the ropes.

(Crow picks Daze up and whips him to the ropes. Crow attempts a clothesline, but Daze ducks it and stops. Crow turns around and Daze begins to connect with some jabs to the face of Crow)

JT: The momentum seems to have shifted to Daze's favor.

Shallows: He's connecting with some hard shots to the face of Daze.

(Daze stops punching him and Crow stumbles around dazed. Daze picks up the chair and smacks Sabastian in the face with it. Daze drops down and makes the pin)

JT: One, two, kick out!

Shallow: I don't think there was any way a hungry young star like Sabastian Crow would be beaten that quickly. Give him a few more minutes.

JT: He's better than that piece of crap Daze.

(Daze picks Crow up and whips him to the corner. Daze gets into the opposite corner and rushes Crow. Crow moves out of the way as Daze attempts a smash. Daze smacks into the corner. Crow gets behind him and hits a falling back drop)

GP: That mistake could cost Daze dearly.

JT: Sabastian is going for the pin!

(Sabastian hooks Daze's leg)

Shallow: One, two, kick out!

(Sabastian gets on his knees and raises Daze's head. He holds his head and lays some punches into Daze. Then he throws Daze's head down to the mat hard and pins him again)

GP: One, two, kick out!

Shallow: Both men still have a lot more in them.

(Sabastian picks Daze up and whips him to the ropes. Daze comes back and knocks Crow down with a flying clothesline. Daze gets back up and picks up the chair. He rushes at Crow, but Crow quickly gets up and drop kicks the chair back into Daze's face. Daze falls over the top rope to the floor. The chair lands next to him)

GP: Wow. It looks like Crow was playing dead for a few moments there.

Shallow: Yeah. Daze was going back to rearrange his face a little with the chair.

JT: Boy did that backfire. Daze is on the ground while Crow is able to recover in the ring.

(Daze begins to get up. He leans against the ring apron. Crow hits the opposite ropes and baseball slides right into Daze's face. Daze flies back and goes over the steel guard rail)

JT: Holy shit! Crow is really working Daze.

Shallow: Daze must be tired from his match at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones.

GP: Can't be that, because Sabastian Crow had a very tough match against the Mysterious Birdman.

JT: Well, Crow is on the outside now. He throws Daze back onto our side of the guard rail.

(Crow picks Daze up and whips him back first into another part of the guard rail)

GP: Crow isn't showing Daze any mercy.

(Crow picks him up and attempts to whip him into the steel steps, but Daze reverses it and sends Crow shoulder first into the steps. Daze stumbles over to the announcer's table and grabs a chair)

Shallow: Daze seems to like chairs a lot lately these days.

GP: He sure does.

JT: It'll backfire. It always does.

GP: Crow is getting up. This should be interesting.

Shallow: Daze is making his way, slowly, to Crow.

(Daze walks up to Crow and waits for him to get up. Crow gets up and Daze smashes the chair over his head. The chair has a huge dent in it, so Daze throws it to the ground. Daze picks up Crow and throws him back into the ring)

GP: I don't know if that was a good decision. Daze probably could have pinned him on the outside, rather than throwing him back into the ring.

Shallow: Good point.

JT: That's the whole thing. Daze is a jackass. He doesn't know any better. He's stupid.

GP: Why don't you tell him that after the match?

JT: I think I might.

(Daze sets Crow up. Then he goes to the top rope)

GP: Oh, I see now! Daze is going for the Daze Blaze!

Shallow: This is going to be it! Daze has this won!

(Daze raises his arms to the crowd, but Crow quickly gets up and shoves Daze off of the top turnbuckle. He flies off of it and hits upper front part of the announcer's table causing it to break partially on top of him)


Shallow: Wow. That sucks for Daze.

(JT looks towards Daze)

JT: Daze, do you realize that you're a stupid jackass, who is about as dumb as a rock?

GP: Why don't you wait until he regains consciousness.

JT: He's conscious. He's just afraid of me.

Shallow: I'm sure that's it.

(Crow comes to the outside and picks up Daze. He begins to punch Daze, but Daze blocks it and punches him. Then Crow punches him. Crow grabs him and throws him over the guard rail into the crowd. He jumps the rail and continues to exchange punches with Daze. They go deeper into the crowd and eventually we lose track of them)

GP: I guess the match is over, and will be a no contest.

JT: That sucked.

Shallow: I guess they'll have other chances to beat each other senseless.

(We fade into the backstage area, as we see Dane Matthews wondering the halls. All of a sudden, we see a brawling Donnie Daze and Sabastian Crow come flying into the hallway.)

Matthews:What the hell?

GP:CROW AND DAZE! They're still fighting in the backstage area!

(Matthews heads off the screen, as Crow and Daze continue to battle. We see Daze hit none other than Dazed and Confused, as Crow falls down on the arena floor.)


Matthews:Hey Daze... tell your buddy Syphon that I'm waiting for him, if he ever gets out of France....

(Matthews kicks Daze in the gut.)

Matthews:Oh yeah, you still aren't better than me...

(Matthews leaves as we see Daze and Crow down on the ground. The camera fades out to the words Fin.)