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(We fade in on a capacity-filled arena... but no pyro, no music, no nothing. Instead... Greg Parker... JT... Nikki...
they stand at the commentator's table, their eyes watery, their faces filled with sorrow.)

GP: ... Tonight is a night that has become marred with tragedy. Two hours before this program came onto the air,
we learned that Sam Potright and his wife, Beth, were in a car accident. Sam suffered no injuries, amazingly
enough... but... Beth...

(Greg stifles a sob... and quiets down.)

GP: I can't say it...

(Nikki coughs... closes her eyes for a long moment, fearing that the words she's about to say are too powerful to
come out.)

Nikki: Beth Potright passed away at 6:35 PM today, stemming from injuries in that car accident. She was 25 years
old... her whole life was ahead of her.

(Even JT's face is wrought with grief. This is no angle; this is real. Far realer than it should be.)

GP: From... from what we have heard... Sam Potright wi... will be making an announcement tonight.

Nikki: But... beforehand...

(The cameras dissolve to the stage. Several IWO superstars stand on it, their heads down. High Flyer and Kate
Young. Joey Malone and Keri Lindum. Syphon Fission and Quinn Morgan. Jamie Kosoy... Tom Ford... Evan
Levine. Scott Morris, known better as Al Coholic. Capital Punishment... Hardcore Isosceles Trapezoid. Donnie
Daze, flanked by Senate and Legion. Kent Anthason with Alyssa.)

GP: We... bring you this... video... *deep breath* tribute.

(Fade out... up comes a picture of Beth's face.)

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

(Home movies of a young Beth. In all these scenes, she's with Sam. She looks to be 15, 16 or so... a bright,
cherubic face, seemingly drawn down from heaven, smiles as she waves to the camera, hugging her best friend as
tight as she can. Another scene shows her diving into a pool, dragging Sam in after her. She gets lifted up above
the water most of the way, her hands held out like she's in flight. In another scene, she looks at the candles that
spell out "Sweet 16"... and she blows them out. She laughs when all but one is extinguished.)

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

(Shots of her at home... sitting on the back porch of her home, looking at the sunset, jean shorts and a shirt as
dark as the strict Navy uniforms that exist covering a tanned, sleek body. Her eyes are half-closed, relaxed yet
weary. She looks tired, but that may be a facade. There's definite beauty there. Shots of her eating pizza, part of
the cheese slipping off. She takes a finger and shoves the rest in her mouth, a smile on her face as she does so.
She waves to the camera shyly...)

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

(Her at work... cheering on her husband. Her involvement in Trick or Treat 2 is well broadcasted. As she claps and
slams the mat, trying to get the crowd provoked to cheer, trying to get a reaction out of everyone. She has such a
magnetism about her, we see...)

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

(Back at home again. She's picked up gracefully by Sam, swung around romantically. She's laughing, laughing
rather loudly, but the music overtakes all other sound. They rub their foreheads together, eskimo kiss...)

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling

(Her sitting at the gravestones of her parents. She has a tissue in her hand... she dabs away tears as she studies
the stones. The names. She runs one hand over them... looks down.)

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

(She and Sam getting married. December, 2000. She looks glowing in her bridal gown... her eyes are alit with life as
she goes through the words. When she and Sam kiss, she brings him down to her... showing power and a hunger
for this love.)

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

(Backstage, shooting the wind with other people. Hugging Kate Young. Pecking Rashard Clark, aka Syphon
Fission, on the cheek. Playing a major part of a rib on Jamie Kosoy, dropping a pie on his head. The good times,
the fun.)

cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

(We fade out... everyone is crying. And everyone holds a red rose in their hand... two by two, each takes the
flower and lays it down on the side of the ramp, creating a rose border to follow while going to the ring.)

JT: Now... the show... must go on.

(Fade out.)

(The IWO logo comes up. It does it's usual fade-in, fade-out movement in correspondance with a heartbeat... the
sounds are thick and muscley... this heart beats strongly. From the bright light of the letters to nothing more than
a shadow in the black colors of shadows... finally, it comes up once more, and the logo itself bursts into white-hot
flames. We fade to black.)

("Re-Hash" by the Gorillaz plays as we get a nice little review of the past week. Kent Anthason being told not to
wrestle again.)

Doctor: I’m only telling you this for your own good. If you even TRY to wrestle after the operation, your career
WILL be over. Final, this time, Kent.

Kent Anthason: How long before I can do surgery?

Doctor: As I said, depends on the state of your spine, and back. Sooner they heal, the sooner you’ll be done with
surgery, and out of here. I’m not saying you are supposed to go out here and wrestle, mind you. I’m saying
you’re doomed if you do.

Kent Anthason: I’ll take my chan-

Doctor: I’m warning you, Kent. I’m warning you.

(The Sherlock-Holmes/Tony Davis mystery...)

"Sherlock Holmes": SCHITZOPHRENIA!

(All of a sudden, Davis grabs Flyer, and nails him with the Equalizer.)


JT:Davis? What's going on?

(Joey manuevering Kent Anthason to be in his corner.)

Joey Malone: Kent, promise me you’ll become my number one man, my sidekick when you get out of
the hospital. Alright? Alright, one more thing. Julie is back.

(Long pause from the other end of the phone.)

Joey Malone: Kent?

(Loud explosion of laughter.)

Joey Malone: Kent, what’s so funny? Anty? KENT? What the fuck’s so funny? You can’t tell me? Well.
She’s here. I wish you’d stop laugh-Dude, Kent. I WILL kick your ass if you don’t shut up… Yes,
Kent… Yes… Yes, I know Rashard did a very good job at it already… You’re looking forward to seeing
her? Good. Well, I’ll call you back later after my match. Watch me, will you?

(The main event. Sam Potright trying to wrestle the title from Joey...)







Chris Astro:Your winner, and STILL, IWO World Heavyweight Champion... Joey MALONE!!!

(We catch Julie Malone-Carson walking away to attend to her "business"... while Joey and Keri look on.)

(The HT logo comes up. It sits there for a few seconds, the dark, ominous eyes staring a hole through
the screen... and the official theme music of Hostile Takeover, "Clint Eastwood" by the Gorillaz, plays.
The eyes light up white... and we speed through them, into the perplexed brain that is an IWO's fan. It's
filled with imagery. Donnie Daze slamming down with Dazed and Confused on an opponent. Phelen Kell
and Syphon Fission battling on top of the Cell back at Conspiracy Theory... Sam Potright and HIT
battling in the rain in Trick or Treat 3, during Terminus... AWS Man & DPS Man holding up the World tag
team titles... the Suicide Kings acting stupid... Joey Malone hitting the Everlast Cataclysm on Daze,
dissolving into him holding up the World title... we head back out to the logo of HT... it bounces around,
we flash back to a close-up of the eyes, and pull back... to the logo, where it stands still.)

(We almost EXPLODE AND DIE as we head into Cleveland, Ohio! The arena's sold out! And the people,
although a bit down from the earlier announcement... are cheering.)


JT: Like I said.... the show must go on! And we have a huge card for you tonight! Joey Malone and
Sabastian Crow!

Nikki: ... a 4 way dance for the tag titles...

GP: We've got Doozer and BJ Smith in a Cleveland Pawn Shop match, the first since last September,
when Sam Potright --

(Nikki breaks out crying.)

GP: ... Ahem... won his first Extreme title from Fenix. Also, we have LiGiL and Billy Ray... and Shawn
Arrows squares off against the second-tier main eventer, Cyanide! All of this.... and more.


GP: Well... here's the first match of the night.

("Irish Drinking Song" by Less Than Jake plays... as Billy Ray comes out. The crowd throws non-alcoholic beer
at him in retort to his drinking ways... Billy, not knowing better, goes and bends over to take a swig of it.
Unfortunately for him...)

GP: HERE COMES LIGIL! LIGIL TAKES DOWN BILLY RAY! He saved him from drinking non-alcoholic beer!


Nikki: LiGiL throws Billy Ray into the guardrail! Kicks him in the stomach, and throws him on the ramp! LiGiL is
tearing Billy Ray apart! He has Ray again... he's finally taking him towards the ring area!

GP: In LiGiL rolls the Drunken Bastard!

JT: Say what?

GP: In LiGiL, rolls... the Drunken Bastard. Oh. That sounds like he ate him, doesn't it?

Nikki: Yep.

JT: LiGiL throws Billy Ray into the corner... he goes to the other corner, looks like a LiGiler splash!

GP: Would you mind pronouncing that again?

JT: Li-Gi-Ler splash! Got that?

GP: No... but, anyway, Billy Ray goes down to the mat. LiGiL picks him up off the mat... throws him into the
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT! He's thrown off the kneepad!

JT: The kneepad?

GP: The kneepad! This is it! Into the ropes, over Billy Ray, into the ropes again... LIGIL'S KNEE! LIGIL'S KNEE!
Hellacious! That cleaned Billy Ray's clock!


Nikki: Hey... that's not imitation! That's an original move!

JT: Oh, bullshit.

GP: Has the Rock ever done a kneedrop?

JT: ... God dammit.

GP: Well... LiGiL has Billy Ray... he props him up in the corner, sets him up... PALINDROME! PALINDROME! He
covers Billy Ray! One.... two..... three! And it's an easy win for the Colorado native!

(LiGiL kicks Billy Ray's body out of the ring. He stands in the middle... and raises his arms up in victory. That's
when petroleum jelly falls from the ceiling and covers him completely with... well... petroleum jelly. He yells and
screams and kicks at the ropes... before leaving the ring.)


GP: For our next match, we come to you live from a pawn shop about two blocks
away from the arena. I believe we have Chris Astro out there for the
introductions. Chris?

Astro: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it's for the
Internet Wrestling Orginization Extreme championship! Making his way to the
pawn shop first, the challenger, from Hershey, Pennsylvania, weighing in at
two hundred twenty-one pounds, BJ Smith!

["Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band plays as BJ steps into the room,
carrying a broom.]

Astro: And comming to the room next, from Fenway Park, Massachusets, he is
the IWO Extreme champion, Doozer!

["The Superman theme (Remixed)" hits as Doozer rushes in with a guitar in his
hands. He swings it at BJ's head, but he ducks, and Doozer swings around. BJ
takes the opportunity and slams down with the broom handle.]

JT: Broom handle slam!

[With Doozer laid out on the ground, BJ topples a big shelf of glass bottles
on him. BJ grabs the guitar off the floor and tries to hit Doozer with it,
but he rolls away and grabs it out of BJ's hands. With BJ stunned for a
moment, Doozer swings it at his head and hits. The guitar doesn't break, but
BJ's head seems to. He crashes to the glass-covered floor and yells out in
pain. Doozer brings the guitar down on BJ's ribs and it breaks in half.
Doozer then climbs up onto a counter and hits a somersault leg drop.]

GP: There's the Doozerman dive! Doozer's trying to end this one early!

Nikki: The only way to win this one is to find the Extreme belt hidden
somewhere in the pawn shop.

JT: Porn shop?


[Doozer runs to a shelf, throwing various objects to the ground in search of
the belt. Behind him, BJ gets to his feet and sneaks out behind the shelf. He
pushes his back into it and knocks it onto Doozer, who barely manages to roll
away before the shelf crashes to the ground. Doozer runs at BJ and takes him
down with a rolling clothesline. BJ goes down, and Doozer grabs two guitars
off of a rack behind him.]

GP: What's Doozer planning on doing with those?


JT: Conchairto with the guitars on BJ Smith!

GP: Doozer's still on his feet... BJ goes down! Down!

[Doozer hits a running elbow drop, then pulls BJ to his knees in a front
headlock. He sprawls down, and hits a spinning neckbreaker. With BJ down,
Doozer lifts him with a release German suplex. BJ lands on his knees, and
slowly works up to his feet.]

Nikki: Oh my God! How did BJ get up from that?

GP: BJ Smith, battling back with some strong right hooks... there's a leg
sweep! Doozer goes down!

JT: Hey, Nikki, wanna go down...


[BJ brings Doozer up and hooks in a collar tie-up. Doozer tries to fight
away, but BJ ducks under, scoots behind him, and pulls his arm in a Russian
armbar. Doozer reaches behind him with his free arm, and BJ grabs it in a
hammerlock. He releases the Russian armbar, slides down to the ground, and
takes him down with a cradle. He rests a few seconds, then releases Doozer
and steps back. Doozer goes for his neck, but BJ ducks under his arm and

GP: Incredible reversal by BJ Smith!

[Doozer gets back up, and BJ tries to take him down with a snap
belly-to-belly, but Doozer hits him with a forearm to the neck and BJ breaks
the lock-up. Doozer swings around with a hook kick to the back of BJ's head.
BJ falls flat on his face, and Doozer hits a leg drop to his neck, further
his face further into the glass-covered ground. BJ tries to stand up, but
Doozer snaps down on his neck with all his weight.]

GP: Dear Lord, that's two hundred and seventy-six pounds of pressure on BJ
Smith's neck! That is surely not a favorable position for BJ!

JT: Well, duh!

[Doozer gets up, and BJ immediatley slips out and hits a few snap jabs.
Doozer tries to block and counter with an armbar, but BJ escapes that and
takes Doozer down with an inverted powerbomb.]

GP: BJ Smith, with the Pandemonium! This one's GOTTA be over!

[Sure enough, BJ spots the Extreme title on a shelf and heads over to it.
Suddenly, out of nowhere...]

GP: What the hell?

JT: That's Nomar Garciaparra! With a baseball bat to BJ Smith's little BJ! Oy!

GP: Nomar's got the belt now, and he hands it to Doozer.

Astro: Here's your winner, and still IWO Extreme champion, DOOZER!

["The Superman Theme (Remixed)" plays once again as Doozer holds up the title
belt and shakes Nomar's hand. Suddenly, NOMAR ATTACKS DOOZER!)

GP: What the hell? Didn't I say that a few seconds ago?


GP: Wait... that's not NOMAR GARCIAPARRA! It's...

The Mysterious Birdman, 0¿0: CAW! CAW!

JT: The Birdman... is BACK!

(The scene fades to a break.)


GP:Hello everyone and welcome back to some killer
Hostile Takeover action, and the night is only just
about to get even more warmed up.

JT:You think? We've got the tag team titles on the
line in a match reminiscent of last year, however this
time, Team V.I.A.G.R.A. are the challengers in a match
they pratcially made famous inside the IWO walls, the
Viagra Fatal Fourway.

Nikki:That's right, and just like every other great
tag team out there today, V.I.A.G.R.A., as did the
Beverly Hils Brusiers, the Prep Kids, and Hostile
Youth all took it to the tag team division like a
bottle of fury and vengance, dismantling every tag
team that stepped in their way. Even more recently,
the Suicide Kings could possibly be added to that

GP:That is, if they win tonight here at Hostile
Takeover, live from Cleveland, Ohio!

JT:Cheap pop... but the Insane Klowns have been
through alot as tag team champions... They had to
split up at the latest pay per view, so AWS Man(Also
Known as Bill) could team with Syphon to take on
Sabastian Crow and Evan Levine, as well as Joey Malone
and Kent Anthason.

GP:Not to meantion they've taken out anyone who's
gotten in their way in their quest for tag team

Nikki:Enough talk!

Chris Astro:This next match, is scheduled for one
fall, and is for the World, Tag team Championship!

(Applause applause applause.)

Chris Astro:Introducing first, weighing in at a
combined 444 pounds, and the masters of the Natural
High, accompanied to the ring by Kate Young and Tammy
Cradle, here are High Flyer, Tony Davis, Team,

("I hope you Die" by the Bloodhound Gang hits the pa
system as the fans go nuts. Out from the back walks
High Flyer and Tony Davis, both slowly soaking in the
applause, as they make their way to the ring. Davis
seems to be looking over his back towards Arrows or
something to that degree. Instead of climbing into the
ring however, Team V.I.A.G.R.A. joins the announce

Tony Davis:Hey JT, still womenless?

JT:Shut up Tony.

Tony Davis:Oh, quick reply. must be because you're
used to hearing how you can't get a girl!


(Flyer and Davis slap high fives.)

GP:Don't you have a match?

Flyer:Don't you have a... crap. Davis, help me out
here. You got anything?

Davis:I got nothing.

Flyer:Oh well...

(Flyer pulls out Game Boy Advanced and begins to play
Super Mario Bros. 3. Davis does the same.)

Chris Astro:Introducing next, weighing in at a combied
weight of 350 pounds, and the master of the Wrath, as
well as Degrees of Sin, accompanied to the ring by
Aubrey Gibson, here are Jack Breaker and Jake Walker,

("Space Suit" by They May be Giants his the pa system,
as the Sins walk out, recieving a rather good amount
of heat from the crowd in general. The Sins slowly
make their way down, and climb into the middle of the
ring to discuss cereal brands.)

GP:Has anyone else noticed our entire tag team
division is infested with loons?

High Flyer:DAMN LUDVIG KOOPA! With your classical
music and castle, I'm going to SO beat you up!

JT:I think you mean the entire IWO Parker.

(The Sins climb out from the ring, and walk over to
the announce booth, as they both rip the Game Boy
Advances out of Flyer and Davis' hands.)

Davis:HEY! I was playing that!

(The Sins now slide into the ring, and begin to play.)

GP:Uh, aren't you going to go chase them and get those
toys back?

Flyer:I would, but I forgot how to walk...

GP, JT, & Nikki:....

Chris Astro:And their opponents...

("Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach hits the
pa system, as out from the back walk the Suicide

Chris Astro:Hailing from New York, New York, and the
masters of Flip the Switch, Jeff, and Ryan King, the

Flyer:Hey, are they the Kings of Suicide?

Davis:Kings of Comedy... Good movie.


(The Kings walk to the ring, and then get into their
own corner. Then, "The Graduation Song" by Vitamin C
hits the pa system, as the fans get a little shocked.
All of a sudden, Vitamin C walks out with a microphone
singing. Her head then explodes. DPS Man(Also Known as
Bob) and AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) walk out behind
her, as DPS Man(Also Known as Bob) almost falls.)

Chris Astro:And the champions, they are DPS Man...
wait, how the hell can I say what's in those silly
paraentheses! It makes no sense! Someone stop this

(A seagull swoops down and begins to peck Chris Astro
in the head. He falls over. AWS Man(Also Known as
Bill) and DPS Man(Also Known as Bob) climb into the
ring, and the bell rings.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

Flyer:Oh my God! Vitamin C's breasts are still fully
in one piece!

Davis:They are SO mine!

Flyer:Not if I get there first!

(Flyer and Davis immediatly rush out from the
announcers booth and try to run up the apron. However,
the Seagull gets there first, and is all gwar and
won't let Flyer and Davis grab the breasts. They sigh,
and return towards the ring.)

GP:I guess we're going. It's going to be Ryan King and
Jake Walker starting this match off here, as they lock
up in the center of the ring.Walker grabs King's left
arm and locks him in an arm bar, as King grabs Walker
and pushes him down to the mat, however, since Ryan's
arm is hooked, he falls down with him.

JT:Haha, he's all dumb.

Nikki:That's not a surprise...

GP:King and Walker are up fast, as they tear into each
other with rights and lefts. King throws Walker
towards the ropes, as Flyer makes the blind tag.
Walker bounces back, as King ducks down and nails a
huge back body drop, as just as King is coming out,
Flyer knocks him down with a huge springboard missle

Nikki:Flyer immediatly on the attack, and throws King
into the corner, as AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) tags
himself in. Flyer charges from the other corner,
cartwheel backflip... AND AWS MAN(Also Known as Bill)
LOCKS IN A FULL NELSON! Full nelson SLAMS Flyer into
the mat!

GP:AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) on top for the cover,
one, no, kickout quick by Flyer. Flyer gets to his
feet quick, as AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) KNOCKS HIS

JT:Flyer falls and Jeff King tags himself in. Jeff
King charges AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) and takes him
down with a textbook dropkick.

GP:AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) and Jeff King get
quickly up to their feet, as AWS Man(Also Known as
Bill) catches King in the throat with a shot. Then,
AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) tags in DPS Man(Also known
as Bob).

Nikki:DPS Man(Also Known as Bill) climbs into the
ring, and immediatly goes after King with a couple of
shots to the back of his head. King tries to get back
to his feet, hammering DPS Man(Also known as Bob) in
the gut with shoulder shots, and now King lifts him
Man(also Known as Bob) hits hard on this head!

JT:Jeff King is slowly climbing up top, and he tags in
Ryan King. Ryan dives in towards DPS Man(Also Known as
Bill), and holds him down, as Jeff comes flying off
the top with a huge frogsplash! Ryan dives on top as
Jeff knocks AWS Mans(also Known as Bob) off the apron,
1-2-3! The tag team champions have been eliminated!

GP:And right into the ring comes Tony Davis! Davis
grabs Ryan King, and lifts him up for the Equalizer!
DEAR GOD! NO! JEFF KING just pushed Ryan off of the
move, and nails Davis with a stiff neckbreaker!

JT:Wait... it's... Shawn Arrows? What the hell is he

GP:Whatever it is, he seems to be on the way to
wanting to destroy this team... Last Monday Night, he
nailed Davis with the Equalizer after Davis went into
his trance and took out his own partner.

Arrows:Hey DAVIS!

GP:Ryan King is slowly going over to his corner, Davis
is climbing to his feet...



GP:Flyer races out of the ring and he's chasing Arrows
up the rampway! Is Arrows that hypnotist?!?! Is Arrows
the one who put these two friends up against one

JT:You are SO naive!

Nikki:Wait... The Sins and the Kings are in the ring,
it looks like Team V.I.A.G.R.A. has been counted out
of this match! Flyer is coming back down to check on
Davis, who's down here on the announce table.

GP:Look! The Sins are both in the ring, and they pick
up a recoorperating Ryan King... DEGREES OF SIN!

JT:Jeff King is anything but happy, as he charges...

Chris Astro:Your winners, and NEW, IWO World Tag Team
Champions... Jake Walker, Jack Breaker, th DEADLY

(The Sins are handed their titles as they rejoice by
walking up the apron. Then, Flyer grabs Parker's

Flyer:Someone get a damn ambulance out here! Get some
God Damn help!

(A bunch of EMT's come racing down as they tend to

GP:We better get to break so that Davis can be
attended to... We'll be right back.

**Commercial Break**

(We return to Hostile Takeover, as we see Ben
Archer drinking water at a water cooler. Then, Shawn
Arrows comes rushing up.)

Shawn Arrows:Yo Arch! We gotta run! Davis is injured
and Flyer probably wants my head!

Ben Archer:What the hell are you talking about!

Shawn Arrows:You didn't see? I was that hypnotist!
Davis is injured because of me, and Flyer wants my
head. Let's get out of here.

Ben Archer:Hey Shawn, I have no point in this. I can't
ruin Major Push by leaving the arena now.

Shawn Arrows:Huh?

Ben Archer:You're trying to ruin my push to get you
rown. I'm not goint to play that game Shawn. Just go
to the ring and wrestle your match.

(Arrows leaves, kind of angry at what just went down.)
(After the match DPS Man (also known as Bob) goes out of the ring. He grabs
the microphone and leaves the ring. He goes to the Titan-tron and starts to
climb up. When he gets to the top he looks down at everyone.)

JT: Man what is the loser doing up there?

GP: I don't know but he has microphone maybe he will shine some light on the

JT: And then maybe you will say some more obvious statements and we all be
happy for you.


Nikki: Don't be sarcastic.

DPS Man: You all might be wondering what the funk I am doing. Well you
people have to step into the mind of DPS Man's head. I came to this
federation for one reason. To be the IWO World Tag Team Champions. Now that
I have been the champs and also lost them I don't have anything else to do
here. Don't start with that try to win them back lip. So with that I have
no reason to be here. And I feel that I will never do anything else so I
could quit, but that would be funkin normal. And I am against normal so I
have chosen to do this.

(With that DPS Man (also known as Bob) jumps off and lands on a spork that
for some reason was laying around. It goes threw his body and comes out his
back with his heart on the end.)

Nikki: WOW, that is definitely not right. I would have never thought that was
going to happen. There is seriously something wrong in his mind.

JT: Correction, there was something wrong with his mind. Nothing is going to
go on with his mind anymore.

GP: Very true JT, that is true.

(The EMTs comes out and grabs DPS Man's body and carries him to the ambulance
and then the ambulance drives off.)

(Sam Potright walks out through the curtains. People are silent... they simply watch him head between the rose
pathway and towards the ring. His walk is dazed, lost... pained. He has blood over the crotch and down one leg of
his jeans, which he wears along with a black tee shirt that has smears of makeup and eye shadow on it. Her blood.
Her eye shadow. Her makeup. He steps into the ring... and accepts a microphone. He raises it to his lips...)

Potright: ...

(One giant sob racks his body. He drops the mic... and covers his face, the tears raging one more time. Blindly, he
stumbles back, not caring who or what he falls into. He slides into the corner... and slips down it, his body rested
on the bottom buckle. His body shivers with his crying.)

GP: This is just terrible... he should have never even tried to promise anyone that he would be here tonight. He
doesn't need to be... he shouldn't have made the decision. He's lost his wife... he's too unstable.

(People cheer as someone comes down the aisle... it's Fission. Fission gets into the ring, and looks at Potright,
who still has his face covered up. Fission takes a step towards him, and bows down. He tries to remove Sam's
hands from his face... Sam pulls away as best he can. Fission shakes his head... extends a hand towards Sam...
Sam slaps it away and stands up. Tears still racking him... he takes a step towards Fission. Fission stares at him...
Potright SLAPS FISSION! He takes Syphon and pushes him to the mat... and begins laying boots to him. He gets
down next to him, starts laying in forearms. The man has snapped. People gasp from random spots in the crowd,
watching as Sam tries to take Fission apart. Finally, Potright, still crying, rolls from the ring and heads up the
ramp. Fission gets on his hands and knees... and watches him. A look of pity distinguishes Fission from the face
filled with shock that is written among the crowd.)


GP : Next up, we've got Cyanide and Shawn Arrows locking it up, and
it's sure
to be a doozy!

JT : No it's not. This match will suck.

Nikki : JT, you always say that!

JT : But this time I mean it! It really will suck. What has Shawn
Arrows done
lately in the IWO?

Nikki : Well, he's been ... uh ... named ... Shawn Arrows?

JT : My point exactly.

GP : I think his attention may be more focused on that RP God 2
being held outside the IWO, and that may be why his IWO performance is

(Pause for several seconds.)


GP : OW! JT, what was that for?

JT : Huh? Oh, I dunno.


JT : Ow!

Nikki : Don't smack Parker for no reason!

Meygon : The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first,
hailing from the beach ... weighing 299 and 3/4 lbs, and standing at
6'8" ...
the official lifeguard of the IWO ... LIIIFFFFEEEGGGUUUUAAARRRRDDD

("Current of Love" by David Hasslehoff plays as Cyanide runs out in his
typical slow motion, Baywatch-style entrance. Cyanide shields his eyes
the "sun" and scans the crowd for potential drowning victims, and then
continues his run down to the ring, carrying his floaty. He sets the
down in the corner of the ring and looks back towards the entrance

Meygon : And next, hailing from Greensboro, North Carolina ... weighing
in at
a certain amount of pounds and a certain weight, which I don't know
Shawn is a lazy, lazy bastard ... the ... guy named Shawn Arrows ...

("Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins playing. Arrows makes his way down
to the
ring, looking a bit pissed that Meygon called him lazy ... even though
he is.
Shawn rolls into the ring, where he is met by repeated boots from
before he can even get up. The bell rings.)

GP : There's Cyanide starting right off the bat with boots to Arrows,
even letting Shawn get to his feet.

Nikki : Cyanide has made it quite clear that he plans to dominate
Arrows in
this match, for being "the most useless wrestler in the IWO." And it
like he's doing a pretty good job of it at this point.

(Arrows has rolled over onto his back now, and Cyanide drops down and
him in a chokehold. The referee administers the five count, and Cyanide
releases it. He then immediately re-administers it, and again lets go

GP : Cyanide sure is focused on ripping Arrows apart.

JT : I'll say!

(Arrows quickly staggers to his feet, to be met by a big right hand
Cyanide. Cyanide continues unloading rights on Arrows, backing him up
to the
turnbuckle. The lifeguard grabs Arrows and sets him on top of the
Shawn climbs up after him and grabs him to deliver a top-rope DDT.)

Nikki : Arrows really needs to mount some sort of offense here.

JT : I'll say!

(Cyanide drags Arrows to his feet and whips him into the ropes. As
comes back, Cyanide tries to run him over with a stiff clothesline, but
Arrows ducks underneath it and delivers a diving inverse DDT.)

GP : Well, Arrows finally got a move in.

JT : I'll s-


(Instead of following up his advantage, Arrows turns to the crowd and
while Cyanide gets right to his feet. Arrows turns to be lifted up and
dropped with a military press slam. Cyanide stomps on Arrows a few
times, and
then rakes his face with his boot.)

Nikki : Wow, that offense sure didn't last long.

GP : It was Arrows' fault. You can't afford to waste your time when
you're in
there with a guy like Cyanide.

Nikki : Well put.

(Cyanide lifts Arrows up, but Shawn brushes him off and nails a few
to the face. He then kicks Cyanide downstairs and plants him with a
Cyanide gets back to his feet, where Arrows is waiting with a dropkick.
big Cyanide staggers back into the ropes, and Arrows bounces him off to
him across the ring. Cyanide reverses, though, and as Arrows comes back
throws him up in the air as for a pancake, and slams him down hard with
hand. Really hard.)

GP : Ouch! That was one of Cyanide's newer moves, Another One Bites the

JT : I always liked that song. (Starts singing ... badly) ANOTHER ONE


GP : How did you not see that one coming?!

JT : See what coming?

GP : Oh, never mind.

(Cyanide lifts Arrows up and hooks him from behind for a reverse DDT,
lifts him up with a type of reverse-Snowploughy reverse Snowplough.)

Nikki : Wow, that's another of Cyanide's rarely seen signatures, the
Nightmare in Blue. Cyanide must be really ticked off at Arrows'

JT : It is kinda annoying...

GP : You know, Arrows IS a heel, JT.

JT : What?! Oh man, this sucks!

(Cyanide covers after the Nightmare in Blue.)

Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3-

(Arrows gets the shoulder up. Cyanide, quite pissed, grabs Arrows by
the hair
and starts pounding him in the face. He jerks Arrows up by the hair and
throws him over the top rope to the outside.)

JT : You know, that would've been illegal, back in the day. Cyanide
should be

GP : But that was back in the day, like you said. Besides, that's never
illegal in the IWO. We're EXTREEEEEEEME!!

Nikki : ...Greg, what the hell was that?

GP : Sorry, I must've been possessed by the ghost of Mike Extreme there
for a

Nikki : But Mike isn't dead. In fact, he's in IWO Black.

GP : Oh yeah. Then it must've been that burrito I had for lunch.

(Cyanide steps over the top rope and grabs Arrows as he tries to stand
up. He
pounds Shawn's head into the safety barrier three times, then a couple
for good measure. Shawn collapses to the ground. Cyanide, meanwhile,
over to a chair and folds it up. He waits for Shawn to stand up, and
swings, but Arrows rolls out of the way at the last second.)

JT : That cheater! Disqualify him!

Nikki : But the chair didn't hit Arrows. And it was on the outside,

JT : Quiet, woman! Arrows needs all the help he can get!


Nikki : Don't call me a slut!

JT : ...I didn't.

Nikki : Oh. Sorry, then.

(Cyanide raises the chair to strike again, but Arrows once more kicks
down below. Cyanide bends over, and Arrows slides him into the ring.
gets onto the apron and scales the turnbuckle. When Cyanide gets up,
launches and connects with a flying reverse elbow. Arrows dives on for

Ref : 1 ... 2 ...

(Cyanide kicks out with force. At this moment, a man begins running
down the

GP : Hey, look who's coming down to ringside!

JT : It's Ru-Paul!

GP : Um ... no, not at all. It's Cyanide's old manager and IWO rogue
reporter, Angry Johnson! He's been missing for over four months!

JT : He wears rouge? Hee hee, fruit!


Nikki : Not rouge! Rogue, you moron!

JT : Oh yeah, she was the hot X-Man. Man, I'd like to mop her like a

Nikki : I give up.

GP : Well, speaking of the X-Men, Angry seems to have dual tazers
strapped to
his hands, Wolverine-style.

(Johnson stops at ringside and just looks on. Arrows doesn't seem to
noticed him. He backs Cyanide back up into the turnbuckle and begins
delivering right hands. After about the fifth right, Cyanide suddenly
sand into the eyes of Arrows. Where he got the sand, no one knows.)

JT : Hey, cheating! Where'd he get that sand, anyway?

GP : He's a lifeguard.

JT : Yeah, but that doesn't explain-

GP : (Firmly, in a voice that brooks no argument) He's a lifeguard!

JT : Whoa. That brooked no argument.

(Arrows staggers back, as the referee comes forward and begins
Cyanide on the virtues of not throwing sand into your opponent's eyes,
if you can make it magically appear. As the ref is distracted, Angry -
I just
like saying that as a name - reaches up through the ropes and tazers
in the ass. He falls to the ground and flops like a fish a few times,
lying still.)

JT : Interference! Blatant interference!

GP : Heh heh, yeahhh. It's fun to be a hypocrite.

Nikki : Isn't it, though?

(The referee turns around now and finally notices Angry Johnson. He
yelling at him now, leaving Cyanide free to grab his red floaty and
climb to
the top rope. He scans the arena with his hand quickly, before leaping
delivering a frog splash with the floaty. This is shown in
slow motion over the Tit-ron.)

GP : The Lifesaver! The Livesaver!

(Cyanide covers as the ref turns back around.)

Ref : 1 ... 2 ... 3!

(The bell rings. Cyanide leaps up and has his hand raised in victory.)

Meygon : Your winner, and still ... Cyanide ...

(Angry Johnson slides into the ring and begins ruthlessly tazering
Arrows in
the groin.)

Nikki : Now how come Cyanide got mad at Murdoch Hitler for doing this
same thing, but he seems to have no problem with Angry doing the exact

GP : One of the many mysteries of the universe...

(Cyanide and Angry Johnson make their way to the backstage : more
specifically, the Wild Boars' locker room, where the Boars will
with ice cream and cake, by which, of course, I mean porn and more

GP:Wait a second, why are we looking at Ben Archer in
the back?

(Shawn Arrows gets to his feet, and begins to watch
the IWO-Tron.)

Ben Archer: What's Shawn trying to pull... trying to
out shadow me... man...

JT:I don't know... but oh dear God! It's Flyer! Look
out Arch! Turn around!

Ben Archer: I shouldn't be doing tag work, I should be
fighting Fission for the North American title.... not
playing second banana to Arrows...

(Arrows turns around, as Flyer catches him just as he
does with a sledgehammer shot to the skull. Archer
falls down to the concrete, and begins to bleed from
the forehead.)

Flyer:Your friend wants to play mind games with us? He
wants to (Censored) with our friendship, well, all's
fair in this game, and you're fair game...

(Flyer stares into the fallen Archer, and gets up and
leaves. Arrows immediatly goes racing to the back, as
the camera's follow.)

Shawn Arrows: Where is he... where...

(Arrows turns the corner, only to see a fallen Archer.
Medics begin to rush to the scene as well.)

Arrows:Oh (Censored)... Don't worry Arch! Revenge will
be ours!

(Arrows immediatly goes running, as we cut to a
picture of Flyer rushing through the parking lot. Kate
Young and Tammy Cradel are shown in the distance
inside the Lotus, getting ready to leave, as Arrows
comes into view, chasing Flyer down. Flyer gets to the
Lotus first however, and jumps into the backseat. Kate
pulls out, as Arrows barely catches the car, being
able to simply kick the back bumper as they leave.
Arrows immediatly becomes incensed, and smashes a
nearby Ford Probe's window in anger. Arrows then walks

**Commercial Break**



Chris Astro: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a non-title match, and the MAIN EVENT for Hostile Takeover!

(Crowd pops, but stops popping because "Fuck Off" by Kid Rock plays as Sabastian Crow comes out to a huge chorus of boos.)

Chris Astro: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California. He weighs in at three hundred and thirty-six pounds. He is a former three-time IWO Extreme Champion, and the master of the Submission Deathlock... ladies and gentlemen... HE IS SAAAAAABBBBBASSSSSSSTIAAAAAAANNNNNNN CROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

(Crow gets into the ring and continues to get booed.)

GP: This guy looks pumped.

JT: You always say that.

GP: :-(

Chris Astro: And HIS OPPONENT...

("Fuck Off" fades out, and then "Shame" by BT hits and the crowd literally goes bananas. Meaning that we might have a crowd of monkeys in the crowd. The lights go out, the song gets past the opening guitars, and the entryway explodes as the lights come on. Standing where the explosion was is Joey Malone. He heads to the ring, but they start giving a mixed reaction when Julie Malone-Carson heads to the ring behind him.)

Chris Astro: ...From Phoenix, Arizona... he weighs in at two hundred and forty-nine pounds... he is a former IWO North American, Pacific, United States, World Tag, and Intercontinental Tag Team champion... he is accompanied to the ring by his lovely sister, Julie Malone-Carson... he is the master of the Everest Cataclysm among many other moves... ladies and gentlemen, he is the IWO World Heavyweight champion... HE IS JOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY MAAAAAAAALLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!

(Joey climbs into the ring, takes the belt off from around his waist, and holds it up. The fans give another mixed reaction.)

Nikki: The fans must not like Julie Carson that much.

JT: Get it right, it's Julie MALONE-Carson.

GP: Well, whatever.

*ding, ding, ding*

Nikki: No doubt, Crow has the power advantage on Malone...

(Malone and Crow lock up and Crow easily overpowers Malone into the corner. He tries a overhead punch on Malone, but Malone ducks behind and lays in the right hands on Crow.)

JT: Luckilly for Malone, he's a lot quicker than Crow.

GP: He's probably also a lot smarter.

JT: ...Joey Malone's the guy calling himself "The Village Idiot". I really doubt he's smarter.

(Crow grabs Malone and tosses him over to the corner. He pounds Malone with right hands and Irish whips him into the farside corner. He gets a head of steam and charges into Malone, but Malone gets both feet up and stops Crow's momentum.)

Nikki: Malone with a boot in the face of Crow, now he's up on the second rope! But Crow quickly grabs him and jerks him off from there!

GP: Crow's going to have to stay vertical for this one, because Malone's a mat technician and stuff.

JT: Crow picks Malone up from the ground and sends him off the ropes! Malone ducks the clothesline! A kick in the gut! DDT! Malone with a DDT to Crow! He goes into the cover! One... two... thr-NO!

GP: Almost three!

Nikki: Malone picks up Crow again, and he sends him off the ropes! Crow reverses! Clothesline's ducked! Malone goes for another DDT, but Crow counters with a sidewalk slam! Crow picks Malone up again!

JT: Another Irish whip! And Crow catches Malone with a tilt-a-whirl sideslam! Crow goes for the cover! One... two... thr-NO!

GP: Crow picks up Malone again and he picks him up for a vertical suplex!

Nikki: What power by Crow! He's holding Malone up with a delayed vertical suplex! All that blood rushing to Malone's head!

GP: And he drops him right down with it! Crow goes for the cover! One... two... th-NO!

JT: I don't think you'd beat Malone with a vertical suplex, considering that he DOES have the stronger endurance of the two.

Nikki: Crow goes to the legs! He tries to lock in the Submission Deathlock, but Malone gets an inside cradle out of it! One... two... NO!

JT: That just made Crow even madder! A kick right to Malone's face! And now Crow takes Malone to the top rope! This'll REALLY finish Malone! He's going for a superplex! Yeah!

Nikki: Malone fights it! Malone fights out of the superplex and Crow falls to the mat! Malone climbs to the top! FROG SPLASH! MALONE WITH A FROG SPLASH! HE STAYS ON FOR THE COVER... ONE... TWO... THR- NO! Crow kicked out!

JT: This just defies reason! How can Malone mount a comeback NOW?!

GP: I don't know, but Malone's got a second wind! He battles back on Crow with right hands! Irish whip, reversed by Crow, Malone slides through Crow's legs! Malone goes for a superkick, but Crow ducks it! Crow goes for a clothesline, but Malone ducks and catches the arms! WAIT! STRAIGHTJACKET SUPLEX! MALONE HOLDS ON! HE'S HITTING THE MAD COW DISEASE!




Nikki: How in the hell?

JT: Malone picks up Crow again, but Crow gets in a low blow, and the referee doesn't see it! Crow with the double leg pickup, and he's locking in the Submission Deathlock! YES! MALONE WILL TAP! I CAN FEEL IT!

GP: He has Malone in the center of the ring with it! There's nowhere for him to g- WAIT! Malone rolls through! MALONE JUST ROLLED THROUGH AND BROKE THE DAMN HOLD!


Nikki: Crow picks up Malone again and sends him off the ropes! He goes for another tilt-a-whirl sideslam, but Malone reverses in midair and lands on his feet! Crow tries to clothesline Malone, but Malone ducks it! Malone with a kick in the gut! He's going for the Cataclysm, but Crow backdrops out of it, but Malone holds on into the sunset flip! One... two... thr-NO!

GP: And Crow gets in a clothesline to knock Malone back down again!


JT: How in the hell?!

GP: Crow's getting frustrated... he's going outside the ring and he's got a chair!

Nikki: The referee is bitching at Crow to gt him to get rid of the chair, but Crow shoves him away! Crow lines up for a chairshot! But Malone sidesteps it and Crow chairshots the turnbuckles! Malone hooks him from behind! GERMAN SUPLEX! WITH A BRIDGE! THE REFEREE IS BACK UP! ONE... TWO... THR-NO! CROW KICKED OUT!

GP: The chair's in the middle of the ring, and Malone is back up! Crow's got the chair again, but Malone's up on the second rope! Crow turns to Malone...





JT: Malone can't believe it, and neither can I! That cheating bastard!

GP: Malone takes a step back! Crow's to his feet! Another superkick, but Crow catches the foot in midair! Dragon screw! HE'S GOING FOR THE SUBMISSION DEATHLOCK AGAIN, BUT MALONE SHOVES CROW BACK WITH HIS FOOT!

Nikki: Malone kips up...

(Mark Madden comes in.)


Nikki: That's not a spinnarooni...

(Mark Madden spontaneously combusts.)

JT: Crow goes for a clothesline, but Malone catches the arm! BACKSLIDE! ONE... TWO... THR-NO!

GP: Crow's back up and hit him with that elusive clothesline! Now the big man's going upstairs!

Nikki: Malone's slowly to his feet... Crow leaps... MALONE CATCHES HIM WITH A SUPERKICK! HE COVERS! ONE... TWO... THREE!!!

*ding, ding, ding*

Chris Astro: Your winner... JOEY MALONE!