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Hostile Takeover
Live from the American West Arena in Phoenix, AZ
June 1st, 2001

Main Event
North American Title Match
Shawn Arrows v. Kent Anthason -c-
Arrows had a successful preformance in Mayhem, lasting up until the Final Four. Now, he recieves a one on one shot for the North American Title. We figure, why not?

Non-Title Match
Barbed Wire Teddy Bear Match
A giant plush teddy bear, wrapped in barbed wire, sits in the middle of the ring. Wrestlers will brawl and use that as a weapon.
Nuke v. DPS Man (also known as Bob)
DPS Man is fresh off taking the tag titles off of those pesky Suicide Kings, while Nuke is fresh off of retaining the Unified title against Rob Kestler. So in tradition, WCW "throw darts at wall and see what sticks" fashion, we book them in the third most dangerous match in IWO history!

Extreme Championship Match
Dog Collar Match
Schitzo Tod -c- vs. Cyanide
Schitzo Tod pulled off an upset victory over the near-unstoppable former Extreme champion in Sabastian Crow, at May Mayhem. Now the Extreme champion goes one-on-one with the Lord of the Beaches, himself, Cyanide.

We're Better Than You 2 (Potright and Fission) vs. Tony Davis and Dane Matthews
WBTY2 formed at the conclusion of May Mayhem, now let's see them at work against a former IWO World Champion in Matthews, and Tony Davis, a man who is going through a lot right now, but at least we're nice enough to tell him that he's in a tag match. Yay.

#1 Contendership to the Extreme Title
Stairway to Hell Match
Sabastian Crow v. AWS Man (also known as Bill)
Crow lost the Extreme title the other night, but this is his new opportunity to take back the title. The problem is that AWS Man (also known as Bill) wants to Grand Slam, and the Extreme title is another title he has yet to capture. So we put two-and-two together, and... yeah.

Beverly Hills Bruisers vs. The Suicide Kings
After BHB made their return, they attacked The Suicide Kings. Now, Jeff and Ryan will attempt revenge.

No 1 Contender to the Television Title
Alexander Korvics vs. Brian Blade
Brian Blade is a penguin, Alexander Korvics is a new guy. AWS Man (also known as Bill) is bored and needs a new playmate, so the penguin and the new guy will compete with one another to decide who becomes his new playmate! Or something. I'm tired, sue me.



---



(A heartbeat...)

("IWO" pops up once... it fades... another heartbeat...)

("IWO" pops up again... it fades again... a third heartbeat...)

("IWO" pops up again, and there's a crack of thunder, and as that occurs, it erupts into blue flames. It fades away, and then, "Life" by Our Lady Peace begins playing...)

How many times have you been pushed around?
Is anybody there?
Does anybody care?

(The May Mayhem logo fades in... clips are shown. Clips of Arrows/Archer are shown, of them beating the holy hell out of each other, in a match that should've stolen the show...)

How many times have your friends let you down?
Is anybody there?
Did anyone stare?

(Then clips of Sabastian Crow versus Schitzo Tod are shown. The words "Ambulance Match" appear beforehand. Tod's hurricanrana through a table, Crow's DDT off a ledge and through a bunch of tables, vicious steel chairshots from both men to each other, Crow locking in the Submission Deathlock, Crow flying right through the roof of an ambulance, and the match ending with Tod falling over on Crow and scoring a huge upset pin for the Extreme title...)

How many times have your friends let you down?
Just open up your heart,
Just open up your mind...

(Two words float by at this point... "Mayhem Match". Many things are shown. Kestler's feet hanging performance, Potright hitting a Fall From Grace off of the Hell in a Cell on High Flyer, the Janet Jackson Inflatable Sex Bot's interference, and Simon Seaman using a leafblower to eliminate Billy Ray.)

How many many times has your faith slipped away?
Well, is anybody safe?
Does anybody pray?

(More scenes from Mayhem are shown. AWS Man (also known as Bill) superkicks Syphon Fission off the scaffolds; Potright's Fall From Grace on Flyer through the cell's trap door, which ends up knocking Shawn Arrows and AWS Man (also known as Bill) off the scaffolds, and finally, the Christ Air that sends both Potright and Flyer through the scaffold itself, landing in the ring. Both men are declared the winners.)

Oh, life, is waiting for you...
It's all messed up, but we're alive...

(A word flies by... "Life". Clips are shown from the night's main event. Malone's second rope Van Daminator dropkick, the "Elmochaku" incident, Daze's Further Paralysis off 123 Sesame Street and through Big Bird's Nest...)

Life, is waiting for you...
It's all messed up, but we'll survive...
Doo doo doodoodoodoodoo, doo doo, doodoodoo...
Doo doo doodoodoodoodoo, doo doo, doodoodoo...

(Another word flies by, "Death". Clips are shown from the main event. Malone hitting the Jerkerolizer through a table, Daze hitting a spectacular Floridan Facebuster through a table from the top rope to the floor, Malone hitting the ADD into explosives, Daze piledriving Keri Lindum, Malone hitting a chairshot in the corner for more explosives, Phillips's interference with the Fated Hurricane, and the iron man-tying Everest Cataclysm...)

How many days have you just slept away?
Is everybody high?
Is everyone afraid?

(The last word flies by... "Endurance". The lowering of the double cages... Arizona Firewater. More things are shown. Malone's sick see-saw face rake legdrop on Daze, various weapons getting involved, Malone missing Bad Moon Rising, Malone and Daze crashing through the cage, Daze hitting a corkscrew bodyblock on Malone while he's hanging from the roof of the cage, Daze crashing through the roof of the cell into the mine-infested moat, Daze hitting Dazed and Confused for two, Malone hitting the Everest Cataclysm for two, Malone countering a Tomikaze which leads to Malone hitting a third and final Everest Cataclysm... for three...)

And how many times have you wished you were strong?
Have they ever seen your heart?
Have they ever seen your pain?

(The scene of Malone holding the title in the air, while being propped up by his girlfriend, Keri Lindum, is shown, as the screen suddenly breaks like glass, into the PACKED American West Arena, in Phoenix, Arizona. Being that this is Joey Malone's hometown, a lot of pro-Malone signs are in attendance. Pyrotechnics display their power, exploding right in front of the entryway of Hostile Takeover. As the scene pans around to look at the screaming fans attendance, you can see the various signs, most of which show positive "WBTY2", "Joey Malone", "Samuel Potright", and "High Flyer" signs. The camera pans down to the announcers... Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.)

GP: WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!! We're here live from the packed American West Arena!

JT: Who are you yelling at?

GP: I don't know!

Nikki: Neither do I!

GP: What I do know is that this is the hometown of our NEW IWO World Champion, Joey Malone, who overcame an hour and a half of what could be one of the greatest matches we've ever witnessed, in Life, Death, and Endurance!

JT: I'm still not happy about losing a thousand dollars, thanks to that bastard...

Nikki: Yeah, but how is the IWO North American Champion, Kent Anthason, going to do against Shawn Arrows? Anthason barely survived facing Cyanide at the pay-per-view!

JT: And speaking of Cyanide, he's getting a shot against Schitzo Tod for the Extreme title in a dog collar match!

GP: Yeah, and what's with the crazy stipulation matches? The Barbed Wire Teddy Bear Match? Stairway to Hell?

JT: And We're Better Than You 2 takes on the admittedly thrown together team of Tony Davis and Dane Matthews!

(And wasting no time with that, "Shame" by BT begins playing, as the fans give one of the loudest pops you'll EVER hear, because Joey Malone's music is playing. The lights dim, the music eventually turns from its guitar chords to the lyrics, and as soon as that occurs, a HUGE explosion rocks the entryway, and as soon as it clears, the lights turn back on, and standing there, World title around his waist, as well as several bandages around his head and shoulder, is Joey Malone. Joey's wearing his common street clothes, which would give him a big pop in its own right, considering that they're Arizonan. Keri Lindum follows behind him, wearing a white sundress and one of those white wide, circular hats that they wear to keep sunlight out of their face. They head to the ring.)

Nikki: Looks like Malone has stuff to say...

GP: Where's We're Better Than You 2? I thought they'd be out here with Joey...

(Joey grabs a microphone.)

Joey Malone: Wow... it's like déjà vu all over again... haven't I been here before?

(The crowd pops, big time.)

Joey Malone: You know, I was sitting back and I was watching the hell I went through on the replay of the show. After the match, I couldn't help but notice that Syphie really didn't want anyone there to help me celebrate. I don't like that. I mean, I heard Shawn Arrows bitch and moan about it a little afterwards... and I was slightly annoyed. Like Beef.

(Beef the Slightly Annoyed climbs in, dances the funky chicken, and gets chased off by security.)

Joey Malone: I mean, yeah, I'm better than they are, but that doesn't mean I'm cold, heartless, and mean. I'd like to offer a few apologies at this time. Number one. I'm sorry to Ben Archer and Shawn Arrows, for being stopped by my comrades in WBTY2. I further apologize to Shawn Arrows for his recent development of Alzheimer's Disease. Get well soon, Shawn. I'd like to apologize to Evan Levine for both the Dragon Suplex and the "You're My Bitch" that he took. I don't readily remember what a "You're My Bitch" is, anyway, but I've had one too many chairshots to my head, so forgive me for forgetting. I'd like to apologize to our poor and crippled IWO VP, Thomas Ford, for the Death Plunge and Sweet Serenity that he took, which probably means that his face has been erased. Sorry, Tom, but take solace in knowing that Donnie Daze can hear you out on that, at least.

(Scene cut to Ford in his body cast.)

VP Ford: Mmmmppphhh!!!

(Scene cut back to Joey.)

Joey Malone: I'd also like to apologize CEO Jamie Kosoy for having his skull nearly caved in by a Conchairto by Anthason and Potright. Trust me, Jamie, I know how that feels.

(Joey paces around the ring, obviously trying to think of something else to say. He then pulls out a large sheet of paper.)

Joey Malone: With apologies out of the way... I'd like to give my thanks to the following, in this list of people that I've written out.

(Joey begins reading it.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank the Xerox people for making the fine paper that I used to write my thanks upon.

JT: Oh god.

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank the people at Bic for making the fine writing utinsil with which I used to write this list...

JT: *THIS* is our IWO World Champion? Oh man, now I wish Dane Matthews was the champ again...

(Keri comes over and whispers something in Joey's ear.)

Joey Malone: *turning to Keri* Whattya mean nobody cares about the people who made the stuff I made my list with? Er, oh well, thanks... ANYWAY... I'd like to thank JT for his WONDERFUL commentary upon my title reign.

JT: Uh, oh shit...

Joey Malone: And I assure him that I won't let Dane Matthews down, as he'll probably still remain the worst IWO World Champion on record.

(Somewhere in the world, Gunnar Smith is dancing.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank my girlfriend, Keri Lindum, for not going completely insane from all of the stuff that's happened to her since she became my manager. And for being insanely sweet for the entire time. :-)

(They hug, and after they finish embracing, Joey moves on.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to also thank Kent Anthason, for his hard work, dedication, flying hamster collection, his baseball glove, and the idea to start using Sesame Street characters as weapons of destruction. Thanks, Kent. I'd like to thank the guys in Our Lady Peace for the lovely song I came out to last Sunday. I'd like to thank Samuel Potright, because even though I might have to hurt him some time this month, he's finally forgiven me for that whole Trick or Treat III incident. In a way, that's also an apology. I'd like to thank Jack Breaker for his hospitality, despite the large number of times he struck me over the head with a large fish. I'd like to thank High Flyer for selling me some snow before I went and nearly killed myself on Sunday against Daze.

(Joey pauses, basking in the sheer number of face pops he's been getting.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank Syphon Fission for putting up with me over the last few months. Lord knows, I've been a bastard, but at least I do it in style. I'd like to thank Schitzo Tod, for letting me borrow his Best of Freddy Joe Floyd tape, which I will return to him, because I'm not a bastard who doesn't pay things back, like Donnie Daze is.

(Joey continues reading off the paper as if he was at the Academy Awards.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank the Dooze for his support and magical pants, even though he doesn't know who the hell I am. I'd also like to thank Thomas Ruble for the lovely can of whoopass that he so graciously got Janitor Nine for his birthday. He's enjoying it well, Thomas! I'd also like to thank Daniel Phillips for finally remembering that he could've run in on any Donnie Daze match he wanted to, and that he made said realization at Mayhem.

(Joey Malone eventually gets to the end of the list.)

Joey Malone: I'd like to thank Onslaught for being our locker room punchline. And finally, I'd like to thank Bob Job, because he has a funny name. :-)

(Joey throws his list into the crowd, whereupon they try hard to catch the damn thing.)

Joey Malone: And, oh yeah, I'd like to thank all of my fans, because that's something that I just have to do. :-)

(The crowd pops, huge. Joey looks at the watch around his wrist.)

Joey Malone: You have got to be kidding me! Nobody came out to interrupt me and make me feel depressed and empty? Disappointing! *sigh* Oh well.

(Joey leaves the ring, and Keri follows.)

JT: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the actions of Joey Malone, in which he has effectively lowered everyone's IQs with that speech.

GP: Oh, shut up, JT. It's time for the opening match.

*ding, ding, ding*

Meygon: This next bout is scheduled for one fall and it is for the number one contender for the IWO TV Title. Coming to the ring first the Russian of the IWO Alexander Korvis!

(as the curtains open Alexander comes out and slowly walks his cocky strut down to the ring)

Meygon: And coming to the ring next his opponent from San Francisco California weight in at a weight of 245 pounds Brian Blade!

(as the curtains open Brian Blade comes running out of the back and slides into the ring and get chin to chin in the face of Korvis)

GP: And these two bad boys are ready to go at it. The winner gets a shot at AWS Man(also known as Bill) for his IWO TV Title next week.

JT: Who are these guys anyways? Brian Blade? Who the hell is he? The guy from the movie Blade? What we got a fucking vampire here in the IWO now.

Nikki: Shut up JT Blade was very impressive for a rookie at the May Mayhem PPV. And he is getting his just due here on HT against Korvis. Blade has to be the favorite here and I think everything is ready to go.

*ding, ding, ding*

GP: And this match is under way with Blade slapping Korvis in a headlock and hip tossing him to the mat. Blade is hitting with a couple of closed fists there in the ring I think as he lets go of the head lock and Korvis and Blade are both back up on their feet.

JT: Korvis is a new comer to the IWO and I think we can expect big things from him in the near future. Korvis and Blade lock up in the middle of the ring and Blade quickly gets behind Korvis hitting a suplex and we have a count…….

1………….

2………….

KICK OUT

Nikki: Korvis gets out of that fall attempt by Blade.

GP: Plain and simple Blade isn’t going to finish off Korvis that quick. This is the IWO got to wear everyone down in the ring before you go for that fall!

JT: Ya you actually have a point there GP for once in you life.

Nikki: Will you both shut up and lets get back to the action in the ring. Blade has control of this match so far he has Korvis up by the hair. Blade with a knee to the skull of Korvis knocking him back wards.

GP: Wow what a blow by Blade knocking the big man Korvis backwards against the ropes and Blade comes running and backs up the knee with a flying clothesline and I think that hurt both Blade and Korvis as Blade rolls out of the ring holding his elbow against his chest.

JT: I just wana see Blade suck this dudes Blood so he can get strong like in the movie!

Nikki: You are a moron this isn’t Blade from the movie Blade. This is Brian Blade from CA a wrestler ok the IWO.

JT: Ya ya whatever same thing to me. Back to the action. Korvis is the first guy up here and he is going to the top rope and Blade isn’t paying attention Korvis jumps off of the rope hitting a missile kick knocking Blade over the guard rail into the crowd and Korvis is going over to finish Blade off!

Nikki: Korvis pulls Blade back over the guard rail and throws Blade into the ring breaking the officials count out he had going. Korvis slides into the ring and picks Blade up PILEDRIVER!! Wow Blade is down and Korvis is going for the cover this could be it ladies and gentlemen!

1…………..

2………….


KICK OUT

GP: Brian Blade still has some juice left in him today and Korvis cant believe it. He picks Blade up and throws Blade off of the ropes. Korvis is running at Blade oh no this could be lights out!!

JT: WOW what a move by Blade he just slid right in between Korvis legs SMALL PACKAGE ON KORVIS!!!!!!!!

1……………


2………….


3…………..

*ding, ding, ding*

Nikki: It is over!! Wow what a turn around by Brian Blade he just caught Korvis off guard. GREAT WRESTLING ACTION HERE IN IWO WHITE!

GP: Lets go to Meygon for the official announcement.

Meygon: And you winner and NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE IWO TV TITLE BRIAN BLADE!

JT: Yay!

GP: Hooray!

[ We fade backstage In the hallways where we see Sabastian Crow, with a tape bandaged onto his forehead, from last Sunday’s “May Mayhem”. Suddenly, a IWO jobber approaches him, named No Limit. ]

No Limit: Hey Crow !, I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t want to do It. Please, don’t be mad at me.

Sabastian Crow: What the Hell are you talking about ?

No Limit: I was a guy behind a mask last Sunday at May Mayhem. I helped Schitzo Tod with the tacks and ladder...

Sabastian Crow: Oh ?

No Limit: Yes ! Please, I beg of you. Don’t hurt me for my sins !!!

Sabastian Crow: No problem.

No Limit: Oh, thank you, Crow... Thank you !!!

[ Suddenly, Sabastian Crow pulls back his arm and punches the guy down to the ground. ]

No Limit: OUCH !!!!!!... WHAAA...

[ Sabastian Crow looks down at him. ]

Sabastian Crow: Hehe...

No Limit: Wha-- ?

Sabastian Crow: =)

No Limit: I thought you said you werent going to hurt me.

Sabastian Crow: No. I just agreed to not hurt you because of your sins...

No Limit: ?

Sabastian Crow: I didn’t say nothing about your stupidity. Hehe.

No Limit: =(

[ Suddenly, Evan Levine pokes his head out of his Office, which Is halfway down the hallway. ]

Evan Levine: CROW ! Come on man !, get In here !!!

Sabastian Crow: I’ll be right there...

[ Crow continues to look down at No Limit. ]

Sabastian Crow: Jobbing piece of shit, hehe. You’re worse than Bob Job.

No Limit: =(

[ Sabastian Crow walks off toward’s Evan Levines Office as we go to commercials. ]

JT: Stupid jobbers! Let Crow put them in their place! HAHAHAHA!!

Nikki: Meaniehead.

JT: =(

GP: Wow... so, uh, we'll be back with the tag team match, AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS!

JT: AHHH! COMMERCIALS! EVIL! SATAN!

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

[ We fade back into Hostile Takeover where we see Sabastian Crow sitting on a black leather couch, getting his cut from Mayhem looked at by a nurse. Evan Levine sits behind his Office Desk. ]

Evan Levine: Looks like you suffered a pretty bad cut last Sunday.

Sabastian Crow: Ah, It’d heal.

Evan Levine: Yeah. Well, let’s just hope you don’t go into another large concussion.

Sabastian Crow: Agreeable.

Evan Levine: So... what do you plan on doing on getting It back ?

Sabastian Crow: Heh !, getting It back ? Well first, Evan, I’m going to kick AWS Man’s ass. That’s what I’m going to do first at getting It back. Then, I’ll go off to face whoever It Is next week... or Beach Party 2001... or Gold and Glory... or whenever !, It doesn’t matter. AWS Man will wish he was never born !!!

Evan Levine: That Wanking Spider.

Sabastian Crow: AH ! *A* Wanking Spider !

Evan Levine: =)

Sabastian Crow: So, what’s this I hear about the Tag Team Turnoil, Monday night ?

Evan Levine: 6 or so teams are going at It In probably, will be, one of the most talked about
matches of 2001.

Sabastian Crow: Sounds good to me.

Evan Levine: The winners get a Tag Team Title Shot against The Insane Clowns.

Sabastian Crow: Great...

Evan Levine: In fact, two of the participates are colliding now !!!

[ Evan Levine picks up the TV remote and presses “POWER”, as we see ringside footage. ]

Evan Levine: Hehe... this should be interesting.

Sabastian Crow: =)

[ We fade to ringside. ]

GP: Ladies and gentlemen, here comes our first ever Garage Match!

JT: Honestly, what kind of idiot made this match?

Nikki: It says... Intern Guy Marc? Who the hell is that?

GP: I dunno.

{"Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" by the Offspring starts to play. The OTHER Dudley Boys, Michael and Brian, enter, arms thrust in the air. The fans boo the hell out of them.}

Ring Announcer: The following contest is a GARAGE MATCH!

GARAGE MATCH
The match starts out in the ring, but pinfalls are only counted in the garage. Participants have a weapon of their own choice, just for more fun.

Ring Announcer: First, from California, Michael and Brian Dudley, the BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS!

{The Bruisers slide into the ring, golf clubs and thrust their arms into the air, eliciting an even louder cheer from the crowd. "Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach kicks in, and they receive a huge pop. They dash to the ring with steel chairs, as the fans start to chant "Suicide Kings! Suicide Kings!"}

GP: And here we go! Jeff King is after Brian Dudley, and Michael Dudley is beating down on Ryan King! This match is going to be a classic!

JT: Yeah right.

{Ryan King ducks an axe-handle from Michael Dudley, just as Jeff King superkicks Brian Dudley! The Kings attempt the Conchairto, but Michael Dudley lifts up his driver and smashes it into Ryan's chair while jumping out of the way! He then smashes Jeff King in the head with the club! The crowd is on its feet after this series of moves!}

GP: OH MY GOD! MICHAEL DUDLEY HAS JUST SINGLEHANDEDLY DESTROYED THE SUICIDE KINGS!

JT: DAMN! I HATE BHB!

Nikki: Dumbass! Michael is hot!

JT: What'd you call me, you little whore?

*SUPER ULTRA MEGA SMACK!*

Nikki: That's right!

GP: Anyway, now Brian has gotten back to his feet, and the Suicide Kings are in dire straits! The Bruisers are tossing them both out of the ring now, and they're following. AND A BRUTAL SPIKE POWERBOMB TO THE PRONE JEFF KING! Now they're dragging both the Kings backstage!

Nikki: YAY! GO BHB.

JT: Owwwwww...

GP: Well, now, the Kings are somehow fighting back! Ryan King is punching away on Brian Dudley, Michael Dudley trying to tear him off, but Jeff King grabs him from behind, and WHAT A MOVE! Jeff King just nailed a release dragon suplex off the stage onto a shopping cart!

Nikki: NO! NO! NO!

JT: Owwwww!

Nikki: Damn right!

GP: Ummm, it looks like the Kings are in the backstage area! There it is! The garage!

Nikki: Already? That was quick!

GP: Yeah it was!

{Camera cuts to Joey Malone.}

Joey Malone: Heheheheheh!

{Camera cuts back to GP and Nikki. JT has been taken away after the world's biggest bitchslap.}

GP: Jeff pins Michael Dudley!

1!

2!

GP: And a frying pan just fell on Jeff's head! Now Michael and Jeff are battling out as Ryan and Brian face each other!

{Just then, trout starts to rain down on the wrestlers. They all panic and run around.}

GP: Who the HELL triggered that?

Nikki: WAIT! THE DEADLY SINS ARE COMING OUT THROUGH THE CROWD! THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET!

*SMACK!*

JT: WALKER WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO JEFF KING!

(Walker drops the chair in the center of the ring, as Breaker grabs Michael Dudley and goes to the turnbuckles.)

GP: JACK BREAKER GRABS MICHAEL DUDLEY! CLOCKWORK DDT TO THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION! RIGHT ON THAT STEEL CHAIR!

(Ryan King gets back up, but Walker and Breaker grab him.)

JT: Walker and Breaker grab Ryan King! THERE'S THE WRATH! THE WRATH TO RYAN KING!

(The Sins get to their feet and grab chairs, just as Brian Dudley gets back up.)

Nikki: Brian Dudley's back up, but the Sins have chairs!

*SMACK!*

GP: DOUBLE CHAIRSHOT TO BRIAN DUDLEY!

JT: This isn't exactly the return match that the Bruisers were looking forward to!

Nikki: Why are the Sins out here?!

GP: I don't know, but they're leaving!

(Meygon gets on the stick.)

Meygon: Ladies and gentlemen, due to a double knockout, this match has been declared a DRAW!

GP: That's not fair!

JT: What IS?!

GP: Well met.

[ We fade backstage again, inside the Office of Evan Levine as we zoom off the TV and back to Crow & Evan. Crow Is wrapping tape around his wrists. ]

Evan Levine: Nice match.

Sabastian Crow: They were good. But we’re better.

Evan Levine: =)

[ Sabastian Crow stands up. ]

Evan Levine: To be better, you got to beat to win. Now, go out there and win back your Extreme Title Shot !!!

Sabastian Crow: I will do.

[ Sabastian Crow walks out of the Office as Evan sits back In his chair, flops his feet on the desk, and relaxes as we fade to commercials. ]

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

GP: Well, we're back, and...

(He's cut off, as you, the fans, are treated to the ending of the Triple Decker Tables Match from May Mayhem.)

JT: But Dane clocks him with an axehandle! Beth Potright's in the ring! She's got a crystal rose in her hands... SHE THROWS IT AT DANE! HE DUCKS! AND IT HITS POTRIGHT! POTRIGHT... DANE PULLS HIM PAST HIM, JUMPS IN THE RING, AND POTRIGHT GOES THROUGH THE TABLES!

Nikki: NO! NO NONONONONONONONONONO! LOOK AT BETH! SHE... SHE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Meygon: YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH... DANE MATTTTTTTTHEWWWWWS!

GP: GOD DAMMIT, NO! SHE COST HER HUSBAND THE MATCH! AND NOT ON PURPOSE!

(Beth puts her face in her hands and sobs.)

JT: HA HA! THAT WHORE GETS TO HAVE A NEW CLIENT! MATTHEWS HAS HER BY THE ARM, HE PULLS HER OUT... PICKS HER UP! HE'S GOT A MANAGER NOW, AND HER NAME IS BETH POTRIGHT!

GP: Sam doesn't even know she's being carried off! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! DAMN! THIS SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED! NOT LIKE THIS! SHE BELONGS TO MATTHEWS NOW, AND THAT JUST IS SICK! SICK, I TELL YOU!

Shallow: Unbelievable... IT CAME DOWN TO HER COSTING HER MAN IT ALL!

GP: Maybe there'll be some retribution for Potright in the Mayhem match. Matthews will be back... so will Potright. If anyone wakes him up...

(We get a close up of the unconscious Potright laying in the wreckage of the three tables as we fade to a promo for Beach Party 5.)

("The Memory Remains" by Metallica plays. The crowd boos... as Dane Matthews walks out, dragging Beth Potright behind him like a dog. He raises one fist in the air, happy about his glorious victory over Sam Potright... and walks the rest of the way to the ring, pulling her along. Beth tries to tug away -- she doesn't want to be with him, it appears to be that for sure. Dane forces her to follow him into the ring. All the while, he laughs.)

Dane Matthews: HELLO, IWO FANS!

(Boos. Massive ones. Like those huge pretzels, only the boos are sprinkled with curse words.)

Matthews: And meet the new team of Dane Matthews... and Beth Potright!

(You know what? They're still booing. Really, really, really... badly.)

Matthews: Now that I have removed her husband from the equation... which was, as it turns out, HER FAULT *pointing a finger at Beth*... I suppose the truth must come out. You see, several weeks ago, I saw Beth Potright, and saw something very deep and mysterious about her... not to mention that she was damn hot. She still is. I knew I wanted that flesh so badly... it was a sin, I know, BUT I NEEDED IT! And... as it turned out...

(He turns towards Beth, stares at her with hungry eyes. She's got her head hung down.)

Matthews: ... SO did she.

GP: Hold on a second. What?

(Beth looks up. She's got a smile on her face. Matthews hands her the mic.)

Beth: It's true... you see, he just wasn't around as much as I deserved to have him around! And, also... how do I put this... "Shrimp" was a rather effective nickname for his "size"... if you know what I mean. What I did at Mayhem... was on purpose.

Nikki: That... WHORE!

Beth: Excuse me?

(She looks right at Nikki.)

Beth: You shouldn't be talking, "Nickel".

JT: HAW HAW HAW! THAT'S A GOOD ONE! Nickel! I like it!

GP: This is just sick.

Beth: I found a real man... and his name is Dane Matthews. And he's definitely no "Shrimp".

JT: I knew this girl had smarts.

(That's when the lights are cut.)

JT: HEY!

("The Space Between" by the Dave Matthews Band plays. A spotlight appears on Beth and Dane... they're looking around.)

You cannot quit me so quickly...
there's no hope in you for me...
no corner, you could squeeze me..
but I got all the time for you, love...

The Space Between
The tears we cry
is the laughter that keeps us coming
back for more
The Space Between
the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep
safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like "will it rain today?"
We waste the hours with talking, talking,
These twisted games we're playing...

(Beth is smiling at Dane, since he seems to know how much she loves the song. However, when the lights return, there's Sam Potright, standing at the HT stage. Her look goes from contentedness... to a sourness. Sam, however, is beaming. He raises one hand in the air...)

Potright: So... who likes my new theme music?

(The crowd pops.)

Potright: And how do YOU, Beth, like it? I know you love the song... but I know that you're going to start hating it real soon.

(Dane takes the mic from Beth.)

Matthews: Real funny, Potright!

Potright: What's so funny about it, Dane? Just because it took HER for you to beat ME... means nothing. You haven't been able to touch the level I've been at... you never will.

Matthews: BS, Potright. BS. You know I'm better than you... I mean, I got your wife in on the "Dane Train", the only one that DOES NOT PULL INTO THE STATION, AND KEEPS ON GOING FOR AS LONG AS SHE WANTS!

Potright: First of all... your name isn't Sting, so we know you can't go 12 hours... second of all, your name is Dane, so we know you can't even last 12 MINUTES...

(Laughter. Matthews is rightfully pretty pissed at that comment.)

Potright: And third... you never beat me fair and square.

Matthews: Who cares? There's no fair and square when there's no rules, you know.

Potright: I CARE... since no one ever said that crystal roses could come into play.

Matthews: You're fulla it.

Potright: Am I? Or are you outta options? That's my wife, Dane... she's still mine, whether you like it or not... and I think I deserve a chance to win her back.

(Beth takes the mic.)

Beth: Like I'd want YOU back!

Potright: You can deny it... but, how many women in the audience would like some of me for a night?

(High-pitched screaming. Who knew Potright was a sex symbol?)

Potright: Well, I've got a wide expanse of women out there for me... all you've got is your "Dane Train". But, oh well... I just came out here to say, really... that this isn't over. Nope. Not by a long shot. NOW HIT THE MUSIC!

("The Space Between" plays again, and Beth covers her ears. Potright raises his arms and soaks in applause as we fade to a break.)

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

~IWO~ Instant Replay--:

Courtesy of IWO Online
May Mayhem - Last Sunday

Shallow: Crow Is pounding away at Tod’s forehead. Tod Is hanging onto the cage... he gets a leg lifted over the cage... Crow can’t balance himself long enough to go sideways and... Tod hits a low blow... CROW IS STUMBLING !!! CROW IS STUMBLING !!! TOD GRABS HOLD OF CROW... HE PULLS HIM FORWARD, THEN PUSHES HIM BACK... OH MY GOD !!!!!!!

*CRASH*

(- *HUGE - HUGE - HUGE* Audience Pop -)

GP: OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD !!!!

JT: SHIT ! THIS IS BAD...

Nikki: *Gasp*

GP: SCHITZO TOD JUST PUSHED SABASTIAN CROW OFF THE CAGE... AND SABASTIAN CROW, SOMEHOW, HE LANDED RIGHT THROUGH THE HOOD OF THE AMBULANCE !!!!!!!!!

EXIT ~IWO~ Instant Replay

GP: What a terrific, well fault battle, Sabastian Crow and Schitzo Tod had this past Sunday. I got to admit. These two gave It everything they had.

JT: Yeah. But, Sabastian Crow had to lose.

Nikki: I got to admit though. Crow gave It his all. So did Schitzo Tod. I’m agreeing, It was one Hell of a match.

GP: And again, It will be one Hell of a match tonight, when Sabastian Crow takes on AWS Man, In a Stairway to Hell match to determine, the #1 Contender to the Extreme Title.

Sabastian Crow -vs- AWS MAN (- Also Known as Bill -)
(- Stairway to Hell Match to Determine the #1 Contendership at the Extreme Title -)

[ “Fuck All” by Kid Rock starts blaring over the pa speakers as the words (- CROW -) come onto the IWO Tron Screen, followed by fire blazing over the text. Then we see the cameras speeding through a large hotel parking lot, through the city of Los Angeles, California. ]

[ Through the arena, the lights are dimmed as stroll lights from above start flickering on and off. From green to red to yellow to blue to many other different colors. The fans erupt In a heat reaction. ]

Meghan: Introducing first to the ring, he weighs In at 300 pounds, all the way from Los Angeles, California... SABASTIAN CROW !!!!

[ Sabastian Crow walks out to the ring, getting booed at by the dozens of fans In attendance. ]

GP: This should make you happy, JT. Next Monday night, we’ll be In Los Angeles, California. Sabastian Crow’s home state.

JT: YAY !!! That means, If Crow wins that huge Tag Team Turnoil next Monday night, along with Evan Levine. Then, they and the fans, actually got something to cheer about.

GP: I guess so.

Nikki: I’m sitting here wondering. How’s Sabastian Crow’s condition tonight, anyway ?

GP: Oh. That’s going to be a big factor In this match, I think. Sabastian Crow’s pretty much been In a concussion all week, so that might have a slight effect on him. We don’t honestly know how 100% fit he Is here, tonight.

Nikki: Exactly.

JT: That could be bad.

[ “Three Point One Four” by The Bloodhound Gang starts playing over the speakers as the fans erupt In a huge pop. ]

Meghan: Introducing next... he Is one half of the IWO Tag Team Champions... all the way from North Carolina, weighing In at 235 pounds... AWS MAN (- ALSO KNOWN AS BILL -) !!!!!!!!!!!!

[ AWS Man walks out reading a Playboy magazine. Well, probably not reading, more of looking than anything. ]

JT: Hey ! He has Playboy !!!

GP: AWS Man Is bringing porn to the ring ?

JT: =)

Nikki: *Sigh* Males...

JT & GP: =)

GP: And wait a minute ! Sabastian Crow now, he gets In a right hand on AWS Man.

*Ding - Ding - Ding*

GP: Crow grabs hold of AWS Man again and rams another right hand. Crow now tosses him into the guard rail, now sending his face to the steel. My God !, Crow Is on fire tonight. Crow grabs hold of AWS, and runs him across the rampway, straight into the side of the ring. AWS Man slides In now, as the ladder already stands In the middle.

Nikki: Sabastian Crow lifts up the ring apron and goes looking for some toys to play with. Trash Can Lid. Trash Can. Steel Chair. He tosses them all into the ring... Crow slides back into the ring now, AWS Man Is up, and Crow smashes that trash can lid over the head of AWS Man. Crow brings AWS Man back up and sends him for an Irish whip, AWS Man goes into the turnbuckle, Crow with the trash can again, he charges toward AWS Man and... NO ! AWS Man got a boot to the lid, and the lid just smashed into Crow’s head. AWS Man climbs up at top, Crow stumbles, and AWS Man hits a missile dropkick straight to the trash can lid. Crow falls back as AWS Man continues with an elbow smash.

JT: Question, why Is the ladder already standing In the ring ?

GP: I don’t know, why ?

JT: Isn’t It supposed to be standing In the aisle or something ?

Nikki: Yeah, that’s a good point. Why isn’t It, Greg ?

GP: Beats me.

JT: Oh well.

GP: AWS Man brings Crow back up and hits a knuckle to the forehead. AWS Man holds onto Crow’s hair, but Crow kicks AWS Man In the gut, Crow grabs hold of AWS Man and OH ! Crow just threw AWS Man, straight into the ladder. The ladder falls over, and AWS Man goes along with It. Crow grabs hold of AWS Man’s head and slams his face first into the steel !!! Crow brings AWS Man back up... Crow places his head under his arm... WHAT’S THIS !?!?!?

JT: Look’s like a Twist of Fate !!!

GP: Indeed It Is ! Crow hits a Twist of Fate on AWS Man. Crow now has a perfect opportunity to reach the sky and become the #1 Contender for the Extreme Gold... once again !!!

Nikki: Once again Is true !!!

JT: Sabastian Crow starts climbing the ladder, but wait, AWS Man Is back up. He grabs hold of Sabastian Crow and hits a suplex off the ladder !!! AWS Man kicks Crow In the jaw and starts climbing up the ladder now, but wait, Crow this time, he grabs hold of AWS Man’s foot and pulls him off. Crow stands up and hits a powerslam on AWS Man. Crow picks AWS Man up and tosses him to the outside.

Nikki: This isn’t good. AWS Man has just entered Sabastian Crow’s territory.

GP: Sabastian Crow climbs out of the ring and walks toward a fallen AWS Man. He brings him back up and slams his skull, straight into the ring post. AWS Man Is still walking, Crow grabs hold of AWS Man, Crow with an Irish whip, he sends AWS Man to the steel steps. Shoulder First !!!

JT: He might need to get that looked at after this match Is over.

Nikki: Sabastian Crow grabs a steel chair by the guard rail. He walks over to AWS Man, he goes to nail AWS Man with It, but NO ! AWS Man rolls out of the way and Crow hit solid steel. AWS Man back up, he grabs a steel chair from a fan, and he wacks It over Crow’s head !!! Crow Is still standing though, AWS Man with the steel chair again... and again, he wacks It over Crow’s head !!!

JT: Jesus Christ ! Nothing can put this big man down ! He’s still standing.

Nikki: AWS Man knows It’s going to take more to bring Crow down !!! AWS Man with a kick to the gut on Crow, Crow looks back up, and AWS Man flys into Crow’s face, smashing him with the steel chair. Finally, AWS Man took Sabastian Crow down !!!

GP: AWS Man back up, he throws the steel chair onto Sabastian Crow. AWS Man smirks a smile, as long as he gots Sabastian Crow down on the ground, he’s got a good chance. AWS Man rolls back into the ring and approaches the ladder. He stands It back up and starts climbing...

Nikki: AWS Man could very well have It here !!!

JT: Don’t think too soon. On the outside, Crow stands up... AWS Man Is still climbing the ladder, but Crow searches under the ring for something...

Nikki: What’s he going for !?!?

JT: AWS Man almost to the top now but WAIT ! AWS Man was just hit by a trash can !!!! AWS Man flys off the ladder, and hits the mat hard !

Nikki: Ouch. That has to be ruff !

JT: On the outside, there stands Sabastian Crow, smiling and chuckling to himself. He rolls back inside the ring now and folds up the ladder. AWS Man stands back up and Crow rams the ladder straight into AWS Man’s gut. AWS Man bent forward, Crow lifts the ladder above his head, and smashes It over AWS Man’s back. AWS Man Is down, once more...

GP: Sabastian Crow tosses the ladder into the corner. He brings AWS Man back up, he goes for an Irish whip on AWS Man, but WAIT !, AWS Man reverses the whip and sends Crow flying backwards onto the ladder. My God !

Nikki: The ladder slants down a bit. AWS Man brings Crow back up, he goes for a powerbomb... but NO ! He can’t get the big man up... Crow executes the move and sends AWS Man flying backwards onto the ladder, with a back body drop. AWS Man Is drenching onto his back with pain, Sabastian Crow, looks like he’s hardly feeling the impact he received. He’s just smiling ?

GP: That’s sadistic. Sabastian Crow enjoys pain. He enjoys seeing others hurt. That crazy nut !!!

JT: =)

GP: Sabastian Crow grabs hold of AWS Man and tosses him off the ladder. Crow picks up the ladder and stands It back up. He starts climbing back up the ladder... maybe this time, Crow will get the barb wire. But wait !, THERE’S AWS MAN. AWS Man runs to the other side of the ladder, he starts climbing up as well.

Nikki: They’re both climbing up the same ladder !!!

JT: They get to the top now... they’re battling away. Hitting each other with right hands. Right hands. Right hands. Crow uppercuts AWS Man, AWS Man stumbles back, but NO ! Crow grabs hold of AWS Man... and THE BARB WIRE !!! He wraps It around AWS Man’s neck and ties It tight. Hehe, YES !, I wonder what Crow has In store for AWS Man !?!?

GP: I don’t know. But this can’t be good. We never know anymore what’s going through Sabastians mind. Sabastian Crow finally has that barb wire tied around AWS Man’s neck. AWS Man Is trying to fight back, but before he can get a good shot In, Crow goes for a low blow !!! AWS Man Is tending to his...

JT: BALLS !!!!!

GP: Exactly.

Nikki: What’s Crow doing ? Crow Is walking down the ladder, and he knocks It over !!! AWS MAN IS HANGING FROM THE BARB WIRE !!!!!

GP: WHAT !?!?!?

Nikki: SABASTIAN CROW WAS PLANNING ON HANGING AWS MAN WITH THE BARB WIRE !!!!!

GP: THAT IS SICK !!!! TWISTED MIND...

Nikki: And look at Crow... he’s just looking up at AWS Man. He’s smiling, he leans against the ropes and watches AWS Man gag for his life.

JT: Hehe. I knew Crow had something planned for AWS Man. This Is genius.

Nikki: I don’t know how much longer, AWS Man can last up there !!! He’s running out of breath...

GP: And Crow Is still laughing !!!

JT: This Is why Crow *Is* Extreme !!!

Nikki: WAIT A MINUTE !!! AWS MAN IS TUGGING AT THE BARB WIRE, HE’S TRYING TO LOOSEN IT !!!... AND HE DOES ! AWS MAN FALLS STRAIGHT TO THE MAT...

[ AWS Man starts coughing. ]

Nikki: AWS MAN HAS BEEN RELEASED ! AND CROW DOESN’T LIKE IT ONE BIT...

JT: Crow charges for revenge In high frustration ! He kicks AWS Man In the side of the face and takes the barb wire off his neck. He slams It down into his face and gets AWS Man bleeding...

Nikki: Crow brings AWS Man back up... he knocks him against the ropes... Irish Whip... Crow bounces off as well... AWS Man comes back and both men knock each other down with a clothesline !!!

GP: : This has been a hard-fought match by both competitors. I really can't say who I think has the advantage ... Hey, wait, who's that coming down to the ring ?

Nikki : It's Simon Seaman and Lifeguard Cyanide, and they both look like they've got revenge on their minds!

GP : But for who?

JT : For AWS Man (also known as Bill), you dumbass. He and Seaman have been enemies for a while now, and because of AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s spatula Pen, Cyanide isn't North American champion right now.

Nikki : Wow, JT, that almost sounded like you knew what you were talking about.

JT : Yeah, almost!

[ Seaman and Cyanide both grab chairs on the outside of the ring and slide in. They stand on either side of the rising Insane One, looking for a
Conchairto. ]

GP : Hey look, AWS Man (also known as Bill)'s friends, DPS Man (also known as Bob) and Bob Job, are running down to the ring, but it looks
like they're going to be too late!

[ AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes his way to his feet, and both Seaman and Cyanide swing ... but in mid-swing both turn and nail Crow,
who'd also just gotten up. ]

GP : What the?!

Nikki : They hit Crow?

JT : I'm confused.

GP: Crow is down, and AWS Man goes for the cover! One... two... NO! NO! NO! CROW KICKED OUT!

JT: AWS Man can’t believe It’s true !!!

GP: DPS Man is back in, now, he brings Crow back up, but Crow kicks DPS In the gut and knocks him to the mat. Seaman jumps Crow with a 2x4 from the back, but Crow swings around and knocks over Simon Seaman ! Cyanide now jumps into Crow’s way, but CROW ! CROW GRABS CYANIDE BY THE THROAT ! WE’VE NEVER SEEN THIS DONE... CROW CHOKESLAMS CYANIDE TO THE MAT !!!!!

Nikki: SABASTIAN CROW, HAS JUST TAKEN OUT EVERYBODY BUT AWS MAN !!!

JT: AWS Man charges at Crow and knocks him back down with the barb wire !!! DPS Man and Seaman are back up, all 3 start beating down Crow. Cyandide Is still down from the chokeslam...

[ “I Am Your Boogie Man” by White Zombie blares over the pa speakers. ]

JT: WAIT A MINUTE !!!!

GP: It’s Evan Levine !!! Here comes Evan Levine. Evan Levine Is running down the rampway.. he charges inside the ring and jumps Simon Seaman !! He starts a war with Seaman !!! Cyanide Is back up now, he starts fighting off Evan. Crow sits up AND HE GRABS THE THROATS OF AWS AND DPS MAN !!!! They’re choking for air !!!

Nikki: Evan Levine Is trying his hardest to fight off both Simon Seaman and Cyandie... but Crow, Crow stands up, and chokeslams both AWS and DPS man to Hell !!! That’s 3 Chokeslams In one night ! Sabastian Crow Is on fire here !!! Crow grabs hold of Simon Seaman and head butts him to the mat... now Evan tosses Cyanide into the corner and begins sending kicks to the gut !!!

JT: Sabastian Crow brings AWS Man back up and Irish whips him to the ropes... he hits a sidewalk slam on AWS Man. AWS Man Is still out from that chokeslam... Crow goes for a cover...

1....

2.......

3.......!!!!!!!!!!

*Ding - Ding - Ding*

[ “Fuck All” by Kid Rock starts blaring over the pa speakers as Crow rises up and Is declared the winner. ]

GP: SABASTIAN CROW, IS THE NEXT #1 CONTENDER FOR THE EXTREME TITLE !!!!

Nikki: Yeah. But look at this carnage. This carnage has hushed the crowd. AWS Man and all these other guys, working on the same page ? I don’t believe It...

JT: WAIT ! THERE’S DPS MAN !!!, HE TURNS CROW AROUND AND...

*SMACK*

JT: HE LAYS OUT SABASTIAN CROW WITH A CHAIR SHOT !!!... CROW IS OUT OF IT !!!

[ DPS Man (also known as Bob), AWS Man (also known as Bill), and Cyanide get back up. The three standing men nod at each other, then all go to separate turnbuckles and climb to the top. Cyanide grabs his life preserver before climbing. DPS Man (also known as Bob) hops up onto the apron and climbs onto the remaining turnbuckle. ]

GP : What the hiz-ell's going on?

JT : Don't try to be cool, Parker. Just ... don't.

GP : Rats.

[ Crow once again stands up, but as soon as he fully rises, Seaman leaps with the Silencer (top rope Blockbuster). As soon as Crow hits the ground, Cyanide leaps with the Lifesaver (frog splash with life preserver). Lifeguard Cyanide immediately rolls out of the way, so AWS Man (also known as Bill) and DPS Man (also known as Bob) can hit BOO-YAH! ... And Then We Had Cake (shooting star press and 450 leg drop). ]

JT : Man ... they BLEEPed him up.

Nikki : JT! You can't say BLEEP on Hostile Takeover!

JT : Oh yeah. BLEEP me.

GP: My god, Crow's just DESTROYED after that! Evan Levine pulls Crow out of the ring now and walks him up the rampway... well, he’s trying too... everybody else, they start getting back up as the fans, are still In silence...

Nikki: Hehe. AWS Man Is arguing with DPS Man about his loss. Appears that AWS Man should of won this match, but the Crow-Evan saga continues on.

[ Crow and Evan finally get out of site as AWS Man grabs a microphone. ]

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Freakin! What the freak happened? Argh, oh well... although, In case some of you freakin' haven't figured it out yet ... we tricked you! Ha ha, ha ha, ha! Don't you feel freakin' stupid?!

[ All the men in the ring point at the audience and laugh. The audience is shame-faced. ]

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Seaman and I were never enemies! And neither were DPS Man (also known as Bob) and Cyanide! And neither were Bob Job and Delta Burke!

[ Bob Job taps AWS Man (also known as Bill) on the shoulder and whispers something to him. ]

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Oh ... well, that last freakin' one was real. But all the other ones were fake! Isn't that freakin' funny? And we did it all so we could play a joke on someone, who turned out to be Crow! I'm sure he'll find it freakin' hilarious when he comes to. I know I would if it happened to me.

[ Seaman walks up and takes the mic from AWS Man (also known as Bill). ]

Seaman : Yes, this was quite a hilarious joke. But the best part is, the joke isn't over yet. The five of us are going to keep on administering painful "jokes" to the entire rest of IWO White. It'll be such great fun! And what shall be the name of this group of jokesters? Why, the Pack of Wild Boars, of course.

[ Seaman starts to hand the mic to Bob Job, but sees that Bob has curled up in the corner to sleep. He does that a lot. So instead, Seaman hands the mic to DPS Man (also known as Bob). ]

DPS Man (also known as Bob) : You all think that we are just one of those people that spent time working this all out didn't you guys? Well your wrong. Dead funkin wrong. We just threw darts at a board that had HT, MNM or Beach Party on it...an low and be-funkin-hold it landed on HT...We plan nothing! Oh yeah funkin we are going to funk you all up when it comes to MNM...cause we are full of pep and vinager!

[ DPS Man (also known as Bob) hands the mic to Lifeguard Cyanide. ]

Lifeguard Cyanide: I realize that you're bound to be asking yourselves, "What the Sam Hill is Cyanide doing with these wrestlers?"...I know I would be...After all, they're not professional lifeguards.

[ He pauses. ]

Lifeguard Cyanide: However, even someone who isn't a professional lifeguard can still save a life or two, so that's why this is happening. As we all know, the correct way to save a persons life, is to administer a beating. That way, there's no chance of the beaten person going down to the beach because of the condition they'll be in following that beating...

[ He motions to the three of them in the ring. ]

Lifeguard Cyanide: ...And while they might not know the fundamentals of how to run across the beach properly, or the correct use of a floaty when saving a person's life...These three men *do* know a vast amount about administering a beating to another human being, after all...they're wrestlers.

GP: How observant.

Lifeguard Cyanide: So you see, as far as I'm concerned, while they might not think of it that way, they are indeed saving a life every time they get into the ring and rip right into the opposition., no matter who that may be.

[ Lifeguard Cyanide points to the back, appearing to be talking about Sabastian Crow. ]

Lifeguard Cyanide: Now, you might be thinking..."Poor Sebastian Crow. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time."...

GP: That certainly seems the case.

JT: Please ! Sabastian Crow killed there asses and still got away with the #1 Contendership !!!

Lifeguard Cyanide: ...But you see, that is indeed incorrect, because when you look at it properly, you would really say "Lucky Sebastian Crow...He was in the right place at the right time, and I'd give my right arm to be where he was"...Because despite what it may look like to the uneducated, tonight the four of us saved Sebastian Crow's life...

[ He pauses. ]

Lifeguard Cyanide: ...And he'll thank us for it in the future, yes he will.

[ Cyanide hands the microphone back to AWS Man (also known as Bill). ]

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Well, that about freakin' sums it up. And oh yeah, because of Blade's "no talking to faces" rule, I'm not allowed to freakin' talk to any of you but my brother. But I don't see how that could possibly be a problem.

[ The five men leave the ring, after AWS Man (also known as Bill) wakes up Bob Job. ]

GP : Well, that was certainly ... interesting.

Nikki : That's the word for it, alright. That or "problems." Lots and lots of problems, in the head.

JT: I’d just hate to be the guy closest to when Sabastian Crow wakes up. There is definitely going to be Hell to pay, we all should know that...

GP: Not a good sign.

Nikki: Uh, we'll be back after this?

GP: MY LINE! MY LINE! I'M SUING!

Nikki: =(

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

Meygon: The following match is a standard tag match. Making their way to the ring at this time, We're Better Than You 2!

["Hemmorage (In My Hands)" by Fuel hits and Sam Potright steps out on the stage, followed by Syphon Fission. The crowd pops huge.]

Meygon: And their opponents, the team of Tony Davis and Dane Matthews!

["Meaning of Life" by Disturbed hits, and Tony Davis steps out and makes his way to the ring, followed by Dane Matthews, accompanied by Beth Potright. They rush into the ring and get to their places. Syphon Fission steps in and gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Tony Davis. Tony Davis places Syphon Fission on the turnbuckle and executes a front-layout suplerplex. The bell rings, and Tony Davis scales the turnbuckle. He jumps off with a flying bodypress on Syphon Fission. Tony Davis tags Dane Matthews. Dane executes a corkscrew legdrop on Syphon Fission. Fission slowly gets to his feet, then springs up and vertical suplexes Dane Matthews to the mat. Syphon Fission climbs to his feet. Dane Matthews gets back to his feet.]

JT: This is quality sports entertainment!

*Slap!*

JT: Ow...what was that for?

Nikki: Saying something normal.

[Dane hits a running sommersault legdrop on Syphon Fission.]

GP: Dane and Tony seem to be putting their personal differences beside to really dominate this matchup.

[Dane Matthews puts Syphon Fission in the cobra clutch. The ref is checking for a tap out... Syphon Fission manages to escape, and makes the tag to Sam Potright. Syphon begins brawling with some right hands to Dane while Potright short clotheslines him.]

JT: The double team - secret to tag team wrestling!

*Slap!*

[Tony Davis climbs in and pulls Syphon out of the ring. Potright gets distracted, and Dane sneaks up behind him with a full nelson. Sam breaks out and punches him in the gut. Sam tags Syphon Fission. Dane Matthews goes off the top and hits a flying sitdown splash on Syphon. He tags Potright back in. Sam Potright picks up Dane Matthews and delivers a tilt-a-whirl suplex, and follows up with a reverse neckbreaker.]

GP: Sam Potright, trying to gain the upper hand. He's a hell of a competetor.

[Dane Matthews gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Sam Potright runs in with a knee lift, and executes a series of hard chops.]

GP: Dane Matthew's ribs are looking pretty bad.

JT: His ass is another matter though. Eh, Nikki?

*Slap! Slap! Kung Fu Slap!*

JT: Owchi-wow-wow...

[Sam Potright hits a koppo kick on Dane Matthews. Dane gets up and sears Potright. Sam Potright gets back to his feet, and Dane takes him to the floor. The ref starts to count. Tony Davis runs up and swings a steel chair at Potright, causing some blood to spill.]

GP: My God! What a match!

*ONE!*

[Dane Matthews climbs onto the apron and nails Potright with a flying axhandle smash. Sam Potright climbs back to his feet, as the ref gets to two. Sam Potright pins Dane Matthews against the ropes and chokes him with his forearm.]

JT: Follows up with a forearm choke. Boring. Make with the chairshots!

Ref: Three!

[Dane Matthews gets back into the match with a jumping neck snap on Sam Potright. The ref counts to five. Sam Potright takes Dane Matthews into the ring and legsweeps him. Dane gets up and is taken down by Potright's knee. Sam Potright catches Dane in a full nelson, and says something to Syphon Fission. Syphon climbs the turnbuckle and hits a perfect missile dropkick on Dane.]

GP: Oh my God! Dane Matthews just got broken in two!

JT: These guys are almost as good as me. Wouldn't you agree?

[Dane Matthews makes a blind tag to Tony Davis, and gets dropped by Potright with a Gorilla Press Slam on the mat. Potright tags in Syphon Fission, and stomps on Davis's back as he steps onto the apron. Fission puts Davis in the achilles tendon hold, but Davis gets to the bottom rope quickly. Fission gets up and hits a shooting star press. the ref counts the pin.]

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

GP: Tony Davis kicks out!

[Tony Davis gets back to his feet. Syphon delivers a spinning backbreaker, then a corkscrew legdrop on Tony Davis. Tony Davis stands up, and walks right into Syphon Fission's piledriver. Syphon Fission goes for a power slam on Tony Davis, but Tony reverses and hits an Aztecan suplex. Tony Davis and Syphon Fission get to their feet at the same time. Syphon Fission takes Tony to the mat with a chokehold, then measures him up and drops a closed fist. Syphon climbs to his feet and hits a diving elbow smash on Tony. Both men get back to their feet, and Tony Davis grabs Syphon's head and DDTs him to the mat.]

GP: Nice DDT by Tony Davis!

[Tony Davis stands up and armdrags Syphon Fission to the mat. He jumps down to the floor and pulls Syphon with him. The ref starts to count. Tony Davis chokes Syphon Fission with a microphone cable, then piledrives him into the floor.]

*ONE!*

[Tony Davis swings a steel chair and hits Syphon Fission. Syphon starts to bleed. Tony Davis executes a flying headbutt. Davis gets to his feet and takes Syphon Fission into the ring.]

JT: Syphon Fission is getting the crap beat out of him!

[Dane Matthews gets tagged in by Tony Davis. Syphon Fission executes a weak headlock on Dane Matthews. Dane breaks the hold, and climbs to his feet. Syphon Fission tags in Sam Potright. Dane Matthews gets thrown into the corner and gets boot choked by Sam Potright. Dane Matthews goes for a brain buster but Sam Potright reverses the attack and hits a Exploder suplex on Dane Matthews. Dane staggers to his feet. Sam Potright is up.]

GP: Potright is getting pretty aggressive.

[Potright applies a kneelock submission. the ref asks Dane if he quits... Potright tightens the hold... Dane Matthews gets to the bottom rope. He gets back to his feet. Sam Potright goes for a stomachbreaker but Dane Matthews dodges. Sam Potright sends Dane Matthews to ringside.]

GP: Dane Matthews is actually a lot safer at ringside. Potright can't get a pin there.

[The ref starts the count. Sam Potright hits a few hard chops on Dane Matthews.]

*ONE!*

[Sam Potright hits Dane Matthews with the back of his elbow, but Dane blocks it and executes a huge gutbuster on Sam Potright. Sam Potright and Dane Matthews move back into the ring. Sam Potright executes a headlock takedown. Potright grabs Dane's arm and twists it hard.]

GP: Dane Matthews's arm is just being TWISTED by a strong arm grapevine by
Sam Potright!

[Dane Matthews stands up. Sam Potright springboard DDT's Dane Matthews onto the mat! Sam Potright gets back on his feet.]

GP: What a match!

[Dane Matthews stands up and jabs Sam Potright. He pauses to catch his breath, then tackles Sam.]

JT: Football tackle! Mind if I practice that move on you in your dressing room, Nikki?

*Slap! Slap! Slap!*

[Dane Matthews tags in Tony Davis. Tony hits the flying legdrop across Sam Potright's neck. Tony Davis takes Sam Potright down to the floor. The ref starts the count Tony Davis throws a chair at Sam Potright.]

*ONE!*

[Tony Davis rolls onto Sam Potright, connecting with a knee. Potright gets up.]

*TWO!*

[Sam Potright executes a jumping sidekick on Tony Davis. Tony Davis gets up again.]

*THREE!*

[Tony Davis brings Sam Potright down with a Mexican armdrag takedown. Potright gets up, and they fight into the aisle. Potright hits a strong right forearm on Davis, sending him reeling. He drags him back to ringside, and throws him back into the ring. Potright hits Davis with an elbowdrop. Tony Davis gets up. Potright tags in Syphon Fission. Fission goes for a superkick on Tony Davis, but Davis reverses with a double leg takedown.]

GP: Nice takedown by Tony Davis!

[Syphon Fission is back on his feet. Tony Davis tries for a vertical suplex but Syphon Fission counters it with a backflip and a Dragon suplex. Fission executes a snapmare and locks in a sleeper. The ref is checking for a tap out... Tony Davis tries to escape...]

GP: Tony Davis breaks the hold!

[Syphon Fission goes for a super fisherman buster but Tony Davis dodges the attack. Tony Davis hits Syphon Fission with a belly-to-belly suplex. Tony Davis tags Dane Matthews. Syphon Fission gets knocked on the ground and Dane flips onto him. Dane climbs to the second turnbuckle and moonsaults onto Syphon Fission.]

JT: Gotta love the double team!

[Fission is whipped into the ropes and clotheslined. Dane drops a knee off the second rope and kicks Syphon Fission to the mat. Dane pauses for a moment, then executes a perfect Tiger Driver `91.]

GP: There's the Equalizer!

JT: Davis is going for the cover! One... two... THREE! YES! DAVIS AND MATTHEWS WIN!

Meygon: Here are your winners, Tony Davis and Dane Matthews!

GP: My god, I can't believe it! What does this mean for WBTY2?!

JT: I... dunno.

GP: Well, um, we'll be right back!

JT: NOOO!!! NOT MORE COMMERCIALS! AHHH!!!

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

GP: Alright this next it’s time for the Extreme Title match up.

JT: Yes!! Blood!!

Nikki: You don’t know if there’s going to be blood.

JT: You don’t know how many STD’s you have so there!

*SMACK*

Nikki: Pig.

Meygon: Now coming to the ring, weighing in at 299.75 pounds!...master of the “Dark Side of the
Moon”...IWO’s very own lifeguard...CYYYYYAAAANNNNIIIIIIIIIDE !!!!

[ "Current of Love" by David Hasselhoff blares over the PA system, as Cyanide comes down to the ring, and steps over the ropes. ]

Meygon: And now coming to the ring...the current IWO Extreme Champion...weighing in at 235 pounds....SCHIIIIIIITZZZZOOOO TOOOOOODDDD !!!!

[ “Current of Love” fades out, as "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by the Smashing Pumpkins hits the
arena speakers, and Schitzo Tod comes down to the ring, with the Extreme Title draped over his shoulder. Tod gets into the ring, buts rest by the corner, while the officials get the dog collar
and chain they will be using for this match. ]

GP: Alright. It seems were are just about ready to get this match started. Would you like to explain the rules to this match JT?

JT: Sure. Well both men will be strapped in by the neck with dog collars, and attached to each other by a 20 foot chain. There’s now escaping you’re opponent in this match. First one to get the three count wins!

[ The refs lock the dog collars on Tod and Cyanide, and signal to the ring official they are ready to begin the match. ]

*ding ding ding*

GP: And here we go! Cyanide hits the first offensive move, with a punch to the face of Tod. Cyanide then slams down on Tod with a heavy double-axehandle to the back!

JT: Tod just went down hard. Cyanide now kicks Tod repeatedly in the ribs. Cyanide lefts Tod up, and gives him a Manhattan Drop!

Nikki: He just busted Tod’s nuts!

JT: And I’m sure you’re very familiar with men busting nuts on you, eh Nikki?

*SMACK*

Nikki: Shut up you asshole.

GP: Cyanide rips Tod to his feet, and whips him into the ropes! Tod goes bouncing off the opposite side! No! Told holds on to the ropes.

JT: Looks like Tod’s taking a breather.

GP: No for long! Cyanide rips on the chain!! He pulls Tod toward him, and hits him with a nasty clothesline! Tod’s down again.

JT: Cyanide pulls Tod to his feet again, and...no! Tod catches him with a knee to the gut. Cyanide is bent over in pain! Tod giving him a swinging neckbreaker.

Nikki: Wow. I thought Tod was out of it.

JT: Don’t think anymore Nikki. You might get a cramp or something.

*SMACK*

Nikki: Shut up. I’m very smart.

JT: Oh yeah!

Nikki: Yeah! I’ll even call some of this match! Hmmm...Tod is stomping down on Cyanide. Tod gives Cyanide a standing elbow drop. Tod now goes for the top rope. He’s gonna fly here! He sets up for a top rope move...no! Cyanide runs into the turnbuckle crotching Tod in the corner!

GP: Good job Nikki.

Nikki: Thanks Greg. I’m glad *someone* thinks I do a good job :P

JT: Oh I think everyone knows you do a good job. Good blow jobs, good hand jobs, good foot jobs...

*SMACK*

Nikki: Shut up!

GP: Foot job?

JT: Hey, ask Nikki. I’m not the slut here.

*SMACK*

Nikki: I told you to shut up!!

GP: Cyanide is going for a superplex...no! TOD PUSHES HIM OFF!! TOD THEN JUMPS DOWN FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!! HE’S ADDING PRESSURE TO CYANIDE’S THROAT, WITH THE DOG COLLAR!! CYANIDE CAN’T GET FREE!!

JT: Tod keeps pulling at the dog collar from the outside, but Cyanide to stuck in the corner. Tod’s gonna choke him out!!

Nikki: Cyanide’s turning blue.

JT: Maybe someone should give him CPR!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

GP: ...

Nikki: ...

JT: Ok com’on. That was funny.

GP: Suuuure. Tod’s still pulling...wait!! Cyanide is able to free himself from the corner, and leaps over the top rope, with a flying crossbody onto Tod!!

JT: Awww. I thought Tod would choke out Cyanide.

GP: Cyanide’s returning the favor. Cyanide takes the chain he and Tod are connected to, and wraps it around his neck! Tod is struggling for air!

JT: Tod frees himself, by giving Cyanide an eye rake. Tod and Cyanide get back into the ring. The start exchanging punches in center ring.

[ “Fuck All” by Kid Rock starts blaring over the pa speakers as the words (- CROW -) come onto the IWO Tron Screen, followed by fire blazing over the text.Then we see the cameras speeding through a large hotel parking lot, through the city of Los Angeles, California. ]

[ Through the arena, the lights are dimmed as strobe lights from above start flickering on and off. From green to red to yellow to blue to many other different colors. ]

GP: Oh boy. Look’s like we got company.

JT: This Is cool !

Nikki: Not really. What’s Sabastian Crow doing back out here ?

JT: He’s coming for Cyandie, that’s what !!!... or, Is It Schitzo Tod he’s after ?

[ The fans begin giving the arena a huge *heat* reaction as Sabastian Crow walks out from the back. He makes his way down the rampway and around the ring to the commentators table... Cyandie keeps his eyes focused on Crow... ]

JT: Hey ! Crow Is joining us !!!

GP: I got a bad feeling about this.

[ Crow grabs a chair from the side and stands it up. He turns It around and sits down, as he grabs a headset from the commentators table, as he sits by Nikki. ]

JT: Just put those things on, Crow.

[ Crow places the headset on. ]

Sabastian Crow: What’s going on !?

JT: Hey Crow ! Nice to have you out here.

Sabastian Crow: Well, I’m glad to be out here. After Cyandie pulled that little stunt with his buddies while go, I figured I’ll get a first shot look, at what makes this guy so great.

GP: Is that all your intentions are for Crow ?

Sabastian Crow: Absolutely.

GP: Well I hope you stay true to those intensions. I’d hate to see this match end in interference.

Sabastian Crow: I’m sure you would.

[ Schitzo Tod was distracted by Crow’s entrance. He turns to the announcers table, as if making sure Crow stays out of his match. Cyanide takes advantage with a huge spear catching Tod off guard. Cyanide then goes for the cover...]

1...

2...

Kick out by Tod!

GP: Tod got lucky with that one. Cyanide lifts Tod to his feet, and Irish whips him toward the ropes, but jerks at the chain hard, and Tod slams back first to the mat! Cyanide’s really taking control here.

JT: Yeah, yeah so what. We have Sabastian Crow here!! So Crow, how’s your head ?

Sabastian Crow: My what ?

JT: Your head ! Noticed that you’ve been In a concussion mostly all week... and was just drilled out by Cyanide earlier on !!!

Sabastian Crow: Oh right, my head. Well JT, ever since my amnesia attack... and that chair shot done by Cyanide earlier on, I don’t know what to say about my head.

Nikki: Remember anything ?

Sabastian Crow: Do I, what ?

Nikki: Do you remember everything ?

Sabastian Crow: I remember everything. Took me a while to recognize that Schitzo Tod Is the Extreme Champion and I’m not, but that will all change soon.

JT: Yeah, heh. Thanks to that grueling battle with AWS Man(also known as Bill) earlier on, eh ?

Sabastian Crow: Oh, don’t remind me. Though, Evan and I trashed those jerkoffs. That damn Wanking
Spider, he should’ve never met up against Sabastian Crow, nor Evan Levine.

JT: =)

GP: Geez, I didn’t know you were such a hardcore Sabastian Crow fan JT.

JT: Yeah well, I am. Tod pulls himself up to his feet...but Cyanide jerks at the chain again!! pulling Tod toward him!! Cyanide cleans Tod’s clock with a clothesline.

Nikki: He almost took his head off.

JT: Ah geez. You know things are bad when Nikki starts using figures of speech.

Nikki: What was that?

JT: Ah...didn’t you have something to ask Crow?

Nikki: Oh yeah. Well I was just sitting here thinking, you know Crow, If you become Extreme Champion one more time... you’ll be a current 3 Time Champion In the IWO Title History.

Sabastian Crow: That I will be. Hey !, I’m sitting here listening to you two.. Nikki... JT... but It came to my attention that Greg Is talking... Greg, what’s up man ?

GP: Nothing much Crow. Just trying to call this match.

Sabastian Crow: Sheesh ! Is that all you do ? Hell, nobody likes you. Why don’t you just get up and go grab us a cup of coffee and let some professionals handle this !!!

GP: Fuck off, Crow !!!

Sabastian Crow: What ?

GP: ...nothing

Sabastian Crow: That’s what I thought. Why ? Because you are nothing !!!

JT: That’s what I keep telling him, Crow. But he never listens.

GP: Shut up JT !!!

Sabastian Crow: Hey, leave JT alone, you fag packer !!!

JT: Haha ! Fag Packer, that’s a good one.

Sabastian Crow: Thank you.

GP: (under his breath) no it wasn’t...

Sabastian Crow: Excuse me?

GP: Nothing! Cyanide with a cover.

One...

Two...

ThrNO!

GP: Tod kicks out! Tod pops back up to his feet...Tod with a kick to the gut...GUTWRENCH
POWERBOMB ON CYANIDE!! TOD THEN GOES OVER TO CYANIDE, AND LOCKS IN A CAMEL CLUTCH WRAPPING THE CHAIN AROUND CYANIDE’S NECK, AND PULLING WITH ALL HIS MIGHT!! IT COULD BE OVER FOR CYANIDE RIGHT HERE!!

JT: Look at him try to fight it. Cyanide’s flailing his arms, in a vain attempt to knock Schitzo Tod off of him, but Tod’s not having any of that. He applies more pressure! Cyanide’s gonna have to do something soon, or he’ll loose this match.

GP: Cyanide tries to knock Tod off of him, but his attempts are futile. He then makes a desperate reach for the rope!! HE GRABS THE ROPES!! The ref’s making Tod release the hold! Tod grudgingly complies.

JT: Tod lifts Cyanide to his feet...no! Cyanide with a punch to the gut of Tod! Cyanide gives Tod a brainbuster! What’s he doing now?

GP: It looks like he’s dragging Tod to the corner. Cyanide’s going to the top rope. He’s gonna go for the Lifesaver!!

JT: I hope he has enough slack on the chain to pull that move off.

GP: That’s why he pulled him closer. CYANIDE LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE!!...LIFESAVER(frog splash) CYANIDE LANDS THE LIFE SAVER ON TOD!! HE HOLDS ON FOR THE COVER!!

1...

2...
....................3!!!

JT: We have a new Champion!!

Meygon: Winner and your NEW IWO EXTREME CHAMPION...CYANIDE!!!!!!

GP: Oh my God ! Can you believe that... after winning the Extreme Title last Sunday, Schitzo Tod has lost It here tonight.

Sabastian Crow: Well, I’ll be damned.

JT: So, are we seeing Sabastian Crow -vs- Cyanide soon?

Sabastian Crow: You’re damn right, we are. The winner and next Extreme Champion, Sabastian Crow.
But for now people, I got to take care of some last minute business.

GP: Oh no ! I knew this match wasn’t going to turn out good...

[ Sabastian Crow takes off the headset and slides In the ring with a steel chair. ]

GP: Crow Is In with a steel chair now... Cyanide turns around and...

*SMACK*

GP: THE NEW EXTREME CHAMPION JUST GOT CRACKED !!!!! Sabastian Crow has laid out Cyanide with that steel chair !!!

*Ding - Ding - Ding*

[ Sabastian Crow grabs the microphone from Meygon... the fans are giving a slight *pop* reaction. ]

Sabastian Crow: 1 Down. 4 To Go. Insane Clowns... AWS Man & DPS man... you’re NEXT !!!!!

[ Sabastian Crow throws the microphone on a fallen Cyanide as “Fuck All” by Kid Rock starts blaring over the speakers. Sabastian Crow climbs over the ropes and exit’s the ring as he walks up the rampway. ]

GP: Sabastian Crow has just taken out 1 member from The Pack of Wild Boars !!!

JT: And he said The Insane Clowns are next !!!

GP: PAYBACK - IS - A - BITCH !!!!!!

Nikki: We’ll return from this commercial break.

GP: STOP STEALING MY LINES!

Nikki: AHHH!!!

*Commercial Break*

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

JT: And their off!

GP: DPS man with a punch to Nuke!

Fans: Ooh!

Nikki: Punch back by Nuke!

Fans: Ahh!

GP: Geez, the fans like this!

(DPS Man starts laughing, and kicks Nuke in gut! The fans boo at DPS man! He puts Nukes head between his leg and tries to do a piledriver, but Nuke lifts him up over him, flipping him to ground!)

GP: Ouch!

JT: Damn it! It's not fair!

Nikki: Get a grip!

JT: Shut up!

*Smack*

JT: Ouch! =(

(Nuke lifts up DPS man and the fans cheer for him! He grabs DPS man and body slams him hard to the mat! Then, Nuke goes to the giant teddy bear! He starts to lift it up, and the fans cheer! But as he turns around with it DPS man low blows him! The bear falls on him, crushing him!)

JT: Damn! That's gotta hurt!

GP: Yeah, that's why this is IWO's third most dangerous match ever!

Nikki: Yeah!

JT: Did you know I like Cookies?

(Suddenly, the Cookie Monster appears)

Cookie Monster: Do you say Cookie?

JT: Yes. NOW GO!

Cookie Monster: What a cookie…

(Scene switches back to where Nuke is crushed by the Barbed Wire Teddy Bear of Death! Nuke tries to get up, but the Barbed Wire cuts into his skin! He grits his teeth as DPS man laughs, and tosses the bear off, and lifts up Nuke! Then, he starts to smack Nuke around! The fans boo as he continues to front and back hand Nuke!)

JT: Brutal set of…

Nikki: It's just slaps!

JT: So?

*Smack*

JT: Damn =(

Nikki: Shut up, will you?

GP: Yeah!

(DPS goes for the final smack, but instead it is reversed into an Armbar! But DPS man grabs the ropes! Then, Nuke starts to kick DPS man, and DPS starts to say 'Ouch! That's hurts, you psycho!')

GP: Go nuke!

Nikki: Yeah!

JT: GO DPS MAN!

*Smack*

JT: DAMN!

*Smack*

JT: Ok, I'll shut up now…

GP: And DPS man is trapped!

(DPS man is kicked several times! Then, he is lifted up, and Irish Whipped INTO THE TEDDY BEAR! The fans pop! DPS man is then pinned!)

Ref: 1…

Ref: 2…

Ref: Uh….

Nuke: WHAT?

Ref: What's after 2?

Nuke: 3, idiot!

Ref: Oh yeah…3! Wait!

(DPS got his shoulder up at last second!)

GP: Wow! Didn't know refs are THAT stupid!

(Suddenly, Nuke hits the Ref with Fallout!)

GP: Oh my god! Nuke did Fallout on the Ref!

Nikki: That's not good…

(Nuke spins around, only to be running DDTed by DPS man! DPS man then slides out of the ring, and grabs a chair! He then carries it and slides back into the ring! The fans start to boo as DPS is about to strike Nuke, when he hears a THUMP from behind!)

GP: What the…?

(DPS Man turns around to see a HUGE figure above him: THE TEDDY BEAR OF DOOM!)

DPS Man: What?!

(Teddy Bear grabs DPS Man and lifts him off the ground!)

Teddy Bear Of Doom: Hmmm….DINNER!

DPS Man: NO!

TBOD: BWAWAWAWA!

(TBOD starts to bear hug the life out of DPS man!)

GP: Dear lord!

Nikki: That's not good!

JT: Duh

*Smack*

JT: Ouch!

Nikki: Quiet!

GP: Yeah!

(Suddenly, "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim plays as Beef the Slightly Annoyed races down the ramp!)

Beef: Don't worry! I'm coming to save you!

(The Spandex wearing Jobber-Hero slides into the ring, and tries to hit TBOD with a plunger! But TBOD laughs, and smacks Beef into the turnbuckle!)

Beef: Ouch…

(Suddenly, El Janito jumps onto TBOD's back! He starts to pull out hairs!)

El Janito: AYYYYY-ARGH!

(El Janito is grabbed by TBOD and lifted above the ground!)

TBOD: How DARE you?!

(TBOD starts strangling El Janito as the fans boo on at the monster! Suddenly, a second voice is heard:)

Voice #2: Hey, J, what's happening?

TBOD: What do you mean?

Voice #2: Why is the guage turning red and saying "Meltdown"?

TBOD: WHAT?!

(Suddenly, DPS man and El Janito are dropped at the Teddy Bear of Doom explodes into itty bitty pieces! Much of the Barbed Wire that surrounded it is surrounding the ring! The fans cheer! Suddenly, they see who the two guys we're…)

Janitor One: What the hell?!

Janitor Four: I dunno, One.

Janitor One: Yes, well, I AM the Clean Minion from Hell, so I know what happened!

(Fans boo at One and Four!)

J1: I think the gears malfunctioned….

J4: Duh!

J1: Time to clean the mess!

(Suddenly, "We are not the champions" by the IWO Jobbers plays over the PA system, and the fans look confused. Then, Janitor Nine comes out to a HUGE pop from the crowd! (Note: This is the actual J9, and NOT the Zombie J9 for those of you that remember who ZJ9 is. If not, ignore this :) )

Janitor Nine: Yay! =)

J1: What the….? I thought you were dead!

J9: Guess not! =P

(Suddenly, the Zombie Janitor Nine comes up from behind J4! He taps him on the shoulder!)

Zombie Janitor Nine: Ssspppppppllllllleeeeennnnnnss….. =)

J4: OH MY GOD! AHHHH!!

(ZJ9 punches into J4's chest, and rips out his spleen! But J4 is STILL alive!)

J4: That hurt!

J9: Yes! Because you're a….

Fans: MEANIEHEAD!

J9: Awww…. =(

(Suddenly, J1 grabs J4's spleen, and tosses it back into him! Magically, the wound inflicted by ZJ9 dissappears and then J4 and J1 start running up the rampway to a chorus of boos! Then, J9 and ZJ9 high five each other!)

J9: YES! =)

ZJ9: Sssspppppllllleeeeennnnssss…. :=D

El Janito: Ouchie!

Beef: Yeah…

El Janito: Thanks, J9!

Beef: Zombie J9, your cool with us!

ZJ9: Sssspppplllleeeennnnnssss =)

(Suddenly, ZJ9 runs out to the crowd, and attacks an innocent bystander! Beef, J9 and Janito follow to stop him from attacking more people!)

DPS man: What the….?

Nuke: I dunno either….

(Ref gets up)

Ref: BACK TO FIGHT!

(DPS man nods, and kicks Nuke in the groin! Then, he grabs a piece of Barbed Wire and starts to strangle Nuke with it! But Nuke grabs the barbed wire before it can cut his neck! His hands start to bleed, and he slams his head into DPS man's face! DPS man is angry, and looks at Nuke!)

GP: Wow!

Nikki: Great Janitor scene…

JT: And now its DPS man winning!

Nikki: No he isn't…

JT: Yes he is!

*Smack*

JT: Ouchie =(

Nikki: Shut up!

(DPS man tries to go for Nuke, but Nuke reverses the kick made by DPS man, spinning him around!)

GP: Oh oh…

JT: Yeah!

(Nuke catches DPS man as he returns back, and does Fallout on DPS man!)

JT: FALLOUT ON DPS MAN!

GP: ON BARBED WIRE!

Nikki: Dear lord!

(Nuke gets a pop!)

Ref: Well?

(Nuke lifts up DPS man again! He does Fallout again!)

Ref: Going to pin or what?

Nuke: Yeah, yeah…

(Nuke goes for the pin!)

Ref: 1…2….

(Reversal!)

Ref: 1…2…3! Wait!

(Reversal!)

Ref: 1…2…3!

(Bell Rings)

Meygon: Here is your winner, NUKE!

GP: Wow, what a match.

JT: Uh, that was pretty fucked up, there.

GP: Agreed. And we'll be back!

** COMMERCIAL BREAK **

GP: We're back, and here's the main event, everyone. This is for the North American championship of the IWO. Shawn Arrows and Kent Anthason are battling it out.

JT: Yeah, Arrows had some harsh words for Kent earlier. But Shawn has my bets for this match. Anthason is a cocky motherfucker.

Nikki: Shut up, JT. He's kinda cute.

JT: This coming from the woman who single handedly was Titan's sex pleasure every night?

*SMACK*

(Meygon steps in the ring and holds the microphone up to her lips.)

Meygon: This match is scheduled for ONE FALL... Coming to the ring first, the challenger... He hails from Greensboro North Carolina. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty four pounds! Infamous for his Arrow Shot DDT... He is..... SHHHAAAWWWNNNN AAAARRRROOOOWWWWSSSS.

("Iron Man" by Black Sabbath hits as several fireworks go off at the hard instrumental part of the song. Shawn Arrows makes his way out to the ramp with his regular attire on, Samantha and Kaysey Arrows by his side. He makes his way down to the ring, and takes in a few mixed reactions, before going to a turnbuckle and trying to grab a few camera flashes there. He hops back down, and Meygon starts to raise the mic to her lips again.)

Meygon: Next up... He is being escourted to the ring by the WBTY2 Team... He's from New Orleans, Louisiana... Weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds.... Known for his multipule vicious attacks such as the Malediction, Double Helix, and Sweet Serenity... He is IWO North American Champion... KKEEENNNTTT AAANNNTTHHHAASSOONN!!!

(The lights dim, as "aenema" by Tool starts to play. The hard lyrics and guitars start to slam as multipule bursts of fireworks shoot out. Kent Anthason makes his way out to the stage with Alyssa Cleeda by his side. He gets in the ring and stands on a turnbuckle and several flashes of cameras go off. Fission, Malone, and Potright start to make thier way down to the ring behind Kent, Shawn looks a little uncomfortable. Before that happens, however... Evan Levine jumps from the crowd, microphone in hand. He stops the WBTY from going any further.)

Evan Levine: CUT THE MUSIC! Do you all think you're smart or something? I'm not letting ALL THREE OF YOU RUIN THIS MATCH. KENT ANTHASON! CHOOSE WHICH WBTY MEMBER YOU WANT TO HAVE AT THE RING, if ANY OTHER OF THE THREE INTERRUPT THIS MATCH, YOU WILL ALL BE FIRED!

(Kent points at his buddy Syphon Fission. Syphon walks down the ring and brushes past Evan. He stands at ring side, keeping an eye on Arrows.)

Evan Levine: YOU TWO! Malone! Potright! To the back, things are even, now!

(Malone and Potright leave ringside with discontent looks on thier faces. Kent takes off his sunglasses and hair berret. Arrows and Kent circle each other. Syph eyes Alyssa weirdly. Alys notices this, and moves somewhat away from him. Kaysey and Samantha eye both of them before Anthason and Arrows lock up.)

GP: Here we go. The lock up. Arrows gains the upper hand sending Kent into the ropes.

(Arrows sends Kent into the ropes. He comes bounding back, and Arrows hits the ground. Kent jumps over him, but stops as he does. Shawn Arrows stands, and Kent delivers a horrendous round house to the jaw of Shawn Arrows. Kent then takes Arrows to the ropes.)

GP: Kent starts things out with a roundhouse kick. Anthason takes Arrows to the ropes.

JT: Comeon' SHAWN! You can DO THIS!

(Arrows bounds back at Kent, and jabs an elbow into his chest. Kent loses his air, and Shawn capatilizes with a single armed DDT. Shawn gets up and drops back down on Kent with a leg drop over the neck.)

Nikki: Arrows comes back to Kent hard.

GP: Yeah, He's picking up Kent, now, and sending him into the ropes once more.

(Anthason hits the ropes, but does a baseball slide to Arrows' knee. Shawn Arrows hits the mat with a thunk, and Kent starts to kick in the knee of Arrows. Kent pulls Shawn up, and whips him to the ropes once more, he comes back and nails Shawn with a knee to the sternum. Shawn goes down, as Kent goes to the ropes.)

GP: Kent's working on that knee of Shawn Arrows. He's to the top rope, now.

JT: DEAR GOD! NO!

(Kent jumps and stiffly lands in an upright position on Shawn's knee. Shawn screams in pain before Kent pulls both legs to him, and applies a sharpshooter. Shawn screams some more, as we see Kent yelling something like. "Come on, Shawn-ee! Tap out!" Shawn refuses.)

GP: Kent has a sharpshooter on Shawn Arrows. Shawn refuses to tap out. Wait, Kent is using his free leg to hold his other in place... Don't tell me... KENT ARCHES BACK AND PULLS THE CHIN OF SHAWN ARROWS BACK!!! KENT ANTHASON IS USING A PHELEN KELL FINISHER! MALICIOUS INTENT! MALICIOUS INTENT! ARROWS IS ABOUT TO TAP OUT!

(Samantha Arrows goes to the apron and leans over the ropes. The Ref goes to tell her to get off the ring, as Kaysey Arrows pulls Shawn's hand to the rope. Shawn has a hold of the rope. But Alyssa comes behind Samantha and gives her a hard Back Drop Suplex to the outside. The ref turns around and sees what's happening. He makes Anthason let go of the move.)

JT: That was way too close for comfort.

GP: You're telling me, Arrows about fell to a finisher that's not even Kent's. Kent Anthason is pulling Shawn Arrows to his feet... LOW BLOW from Shawn, Shawn stands limply on one leg, and drops Anthason with a snap suplex. Shawn takes to the ropes, and comes bounding at Kent.

(Kent grabs the leg of Shawn before he does anything and drops him to the mat. Kent rests Shawns hurt leg on his shoulder and locks the chin of Shawn Arrows. Kent pulls hard, wrenching the leg and neck in an odd position.)

GP: Yet another submission move by Kent Anthason. We haven't seen this one around much, but Shawn still isn't tapping out. Where does Anthason pull this stuff from?

JT: I don't know, but SHAWN BETTER PULL OUT OF THAT MOVE!

(Shawn uses his free leg to kick Kent hard in the side. Kent lets go, and pulls back. Shawn gets to his feet, but Kent plants him again with a closeline. Kent then goes to the top rope, where he awaits Shawn to stand.)

Nikki: What is Kent doing? Don't wait for Arrows to get up!

GP: Too late, ANTHASON LEAPS!

(Kent leaps in the air at Shawn. But, Shawn catches him in mid-air!)

GP: SHAWN ARROWS LIFTING KENT HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD FOR A GORILLA PRESS! INTO A DDT! SLAM! SHAWN
ARROWS JUST LAID KENT ANTHASON OUT WITH THE ARROW-SHOT DDT! ARROW SHOT DDT! OH MY GOD! SHAWN
ARROWS PINS!

(The Pin.... 1..... 2..... Kickout, by Kent Anthason.)

GP: WHAT?! My GOD! He kicked out of the Arrow Shot DDT! He just saved his own ass right there!

JT: He hasn't saved it much longer. Shawn is to his feet, well... Foot, almost. He pulls Kent up.

(Shawn drives Kent to the mat again with a piledriver. Shawn steps up on the second rope, and awaits Kent to stand. Kent doesn't, so Shawn jumps off and elbow drops Kent over the chest. Shawn then pulls him back up and flings him toward a corner. Anthason reverses with an Irish whip. Shawn lands into the turnbuckle, and Anthason follows.)

GP: Arrows in the turnbuckle, Kent Anthason runs to slam into him, but Arrows moves and grabs Kent's head slamming his shoulder into the METAL POST OF THE TURNBUCKLE. Kent bounces back and hits the mat!!!

(Kent tries to sit up, but he grabs his shoulder and falls back down. Arrows tiredly limps over to Kent.)

Nikki: Shawn lightly lifts up Anthason and takes to the ropes. Arrows comes bounding back, he's leaning over for a spear!

GP: NO! ANTHASON SLAPS A HAND ON ARROW'S CHEST AT THE LAST SECOND AND HOISTS UP! ANTHASON WITH THE ARM BETWEEN THE LEGS CLAMPED ON THE BACK!!! MALEDICTION! MALEDICTION!!! (Inverted Clenching Slam)

JT: Aww. It's all over for Shawn. Anthason goes for the cover. But doesn't! ANTHASON HITS THE MAT HARD! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

(Kent looks behind him to see Kaysey Arrows. Kent stands and looks over at Shawn's brother menacingly.)

GP: WAIT!? THAT'S SYPHON FISSION LYING ON THE MAT BELOW KAYSEY! I THINK KAYSEY JUST NAILED SYPHON AFTER HE STOPPED KENT FROM THE PIN. BUT WHY?

JT: I don't know, but Kent doesn't look to happy. He's leaning over the ropes.

(Kent all of a sudden flies backward as Shawn rolls him up with a school boy Pin! 1..... 2... KICKOUT, by Kent Anthason.)

GP: Hmm. Kent immediately get's up...

(Anthason slaps Arrows hard and whips him into the ropes. Arrows comes back, and Kent gives him a hard powerslam. Anthason pulls at Arrows until he comes up. Kent plants him with an Underhook Brainbuster Suplex. Arrows goes down hard, as Kent then leans over the ropes to yell at the now standing Syphon Fission.)

GP: Syphon acts as though he has no idea what's going on. Kent turns around to see Arrows coming after him. Anthason grabs the top rope and pulls down. Shawn flips over Kent and to the outside. Anthason tries to follow but the ref grabs him.

JT: Yes, but wait! SYPHON FISSION HAS SHAWN ARROWS! HE HOOKS THE ARMS AND GIVES SHAWN A HARD DEATH PLUNGE ON THE OUTSIDE!

GP: Syphon just rolled Shawn Arrows back to the inside. Kent looks confused, as do I, probably.

Nikki: You always look confused, Greg.

GP: NOT NOW, NIKKI! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH!

(Anthason pulls Arrows to his feet. He turns him around and places Shawn's arm over his neck...)

GP: KENT ANTHASON SETTING UP FOR HIS MAIN FINISHER. KENT PULLS UP FOR THE BACK DROP SUPLEX... AND HE HITS THE SWEET SERENITY WITH EXTREME FORCE! WE JUST SAW THE SWEET SERENITY! KENT ANTHASON WITH THE COVER! KENT GOES FOR THE COVER!

(Kent Anthason covers... 1....... 2..... 3!!!!!!! Meygon enters the ring, as Kent stands back up.)

Meygon: YOUR WINNER, AND STILL IWO NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION.... KEEEEENNNNNTTTT
AAAANNNNTTTTHHHHHAAAASSSSOOOONNNN.

(Alyssa Cleeda jumps into the ring, and hugs Kent. Syphon makes his way there also. Alyssa lets go, as Kent walks over to Syphon. Kent puts out a hand to shake Syphons...)

GP: Syphon reaches out, but instead of shaking... HE PULLS ANTHASON IN! SYPHON KICKS KENT IN THE STOMACH... DEATH PLUNGE BY SYPHON FISSION TO KENT ANTHASON! KENT IS OUT, AND ALYSSA LOOKS HORRIFIED. Syphon looks at her... No, this can't be. What's goin' on?

JT: I dunno, but I like it!

Nikki: The WBTY2 guys are here. Malone jumps in the ring, as does Potright. Malone grabs Anthason and pulls him back. Malone grabs a mic and looks at Syphon... This could get very, very intense.

(Joey Malone starts to speak. Alyssa grabs Kent and helps him limp to the back. Anthason seems out of it.)

Joey Malone: Rashard, what the HELL are you doing? You just laid out your friend, Kent Anthason, of all people. Just let me ask... WHAT THE HELL?

GP: Syphon hits Malone just as he finishes the sentence. Syphon grabs Malone for the Death Plunge... But POTRIGHT INTERCEPTS. HE NAILS SYPHON FISSION HARD WITH A SUPERKICK. Potright hauls his way up the ramp. He beckons for Joey to come along, but Malone stays.

(Syphon grabs a mic.)

Syphon Fission: Ever since we started this gig, Malone. I've been trailing you. Ever since I lost that World title to you, Sam Potright, I've been trailing Malone. Now you're world champion, and I'm stuck here in the dust. Malone, I want my shot. And I want it, now!

(The crowd erupts as Joey looks up completely surpised.)

GP: WE COULD BE GOING INTO SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME!

(Joey shakes his head and grabs the mic he had before. Joey rolls out of the ring, and starts sliding his index finger side to side as he makes his way backward up the ramp.)

Joey Malone: Not tonight, Rashard. You're not ready. Sure, I accept. But you better check your egocentric self and prepare. Next Hostile Takeover, it's you and me. You want to act so big and bad? Huh, Rashard? Like you're some damn big shot just because you can lay out my friends? You know better than that, Rashard. Oh yes, you know...

(Malone throws down the mic, as Syphon begins to laugh. Joey makes his way to the back, along with Sam Potright. Syphon follows. He makes his way up the ramp to a chorus of boo's from the crowd. Syphon gets to the stage and turns around, he waves at the crowd who erupts into hard shouts of dismay.)

GP: There you have it. Short and simple. Malone and Fission at Hostile Takeover.

(Fission starts to make his way to the back, but out of no where comes Kent Anthason. He nails Syphon hard with a lead pipe. Syphon hits the stage floor. Kent pulls him up, and pulls him to the edge of the stage.)

Nikki: Oh, god.

GP: NO, KENT! DON'T DO IT!

(Kent looks down at the numerous speakers and such. He pulls Syphon toward him, reaches between the legs and lifts up...)

GP: OH MY GOD! THE MALEDICTION BY KENT ANTHASON! SYPHON FALLS TWENTY OR SO FEET TO THE FLOOR OF THE ARENA! RIGHT ONTO A SPEAKER! SPARKS FLY EVERYWHERE! SYPHON FISSION COULD VERY WELL BE DEAD!

(Kent laughs, and looks down once more.)

JT: Wait, a minute. What's he doing now?

GP: KENT ANTHASON LEAPS INTO THE AIR WITH A CORKSCREW SOMERSAULT SPLASH! THE DOUBLE HELIX! KENT FALLS TO FISSION WITH THE DOUBLE HELIX! FISSION MOVES AND KENT ANTHASON HITS THE SAME SPEAKER AS SYPHON DID! THEY'RE BOTH OUT! THEY'RE BOTH OUT! OH MY GOD! BUT THE WBTY2 LIVES WITH SAM POTRIGHT AND JOEY MALONE. POSSIBLY AN INJURED KENT ANTHASON.

(We see NUKE come to the aide of Kent while the EMT's make thier way ringside.)

GP: What's Nuke doing out here?!

JT: I don't know!

GP: Wait, we're out of time?! DAMMIT! Well, uh, for Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki, we say so long, I guess!

(Fade to black...)