Hostile Takeover 5/4/01|
Live from Newfoundland, Canada
*Mature Audience Only. Please, Stay back if you own a pacemaker or like fried Rice.*
(We see the new IWO logo slowly appear onto the screen, the same sharp logo that once graced the web page. Slowly, it melts into a picture of "Edward Wilson, 1976-2001." This slowly fades out to an arena shot, as we see the sold out crowd in Newfoundland, Canada, risen to their feet. Every IWO wrestler is out surrounding the ringside area, standing around the ring, together, as one unit. Each man also has on an arm band, one stating "Ed" on the side, much like Owen Hart. Slowly, we fade into the ring, to see none other than Jamie Kosoy standing in the ring, microphone in hand.)
Jamie Kosoy:We are here today, to honor a man, that has affected this sport like no other. We are here tonight, to express our condolences to his family, and to everyone in this business that has been touched, reached out to, or helped by one Edward Wilson. A friend, and a family member to all... his passion and dedication was matched by no other, and without him, the community is at a loss as a whole. And although he may be gone, he will not be lost in the etches of time. He impacted too many lives for something like that to happen. A doctor, and the CWL's fed owner, from an fWo handler, no one will forget the name Edward Wilson. And although these words can not express what Ed meant to this world, we hope to pay as much of a tribute as we can...
(Jamie bows his head, as we see images of the wrestlers bowing as well. A bell slowly begins to ring, as we capture expressions from such wrestlers Sam Potright and Joey Malone, all the way to people like the Black Phantom and Bob Job. Each of them have an etched look of pain on their face.)
(We fade into an image of Ed, pictured above a date reading 1976-2001. We slowly fade out to silence...
("Alive" by Pearl Jam brings us straight into a view of Papa Roach, with Coby Dick screaming "Kill, kill, KILL" in silence on one half of the screen, while Hardcore Isosceles Trapezoid walks into a graveyard. We cut to Dexter Freebish playing "Tomorrow" as Sam Potright jumps from behind a grave marker, beginning Trick or Treat 3.)
Son, she said, have I got a little story for you
What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen
Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked...
(The Final Destination Match's plane explosion, the exchange of submission holds, and the finale with HIT out-witting Potright comes into plain view of the viewing audience... and it fades to black while the words "One Title" appears on the screen.
Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
(The beginning of the street fight. The battling back and forth as they lead themselves towards a small, intimate gym in the middle of nowhere... darkness takes over quickly, while "One Match" comes up exactly like "One Title"... and that too disappears.)
Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room
She said I'm ready...for you
I can't remember anything to this very day
'Cept the look, the look...
Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare...
(Hell On Earth's dramatic interference by Joey Malone, where he took Potright down to the gym floor with a ladder on top, and the suicide dive that nearly killed HIT.. are shown. This is quickly followed with another section of the street fight, and we enter right into CLT2... before there's that fading to black again. "Two Men" are the words that take it's place.)
I, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Hey I, boy, I'm still alive
Hey I, I, I, I'm still alive, yeah
Ooh yeah...yeah yeah yeah...oh...oh...
(CLT2 -- from the nearly jaw-breaking blow that HIT gave to Potright to the crucifixion of HIT to end the match, it's jammed together in a few perilous, almost overbearing seconds. Clips and pieces of what there was attacks the senses... and the words "Eight Falls..." are quick to take over the place of the footage once that disappears.)
Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers...
(The Pyramid of Peril... the insanity within it. We get to re-live it. Jell-O, ?Ņ?, the interference that would later come into play by President Levine... and the inteference by Donnie Daze that cost Potright the match. Kicking into high gear is the sudden and decisive victory by HIT... just moments before they enter the building for Terminus. Blackness "A War" and blackness again.)
I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Yeah I, ooh, I'm still alive
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(Potright looking up into the sky, rain soaking his face... the interference of Titan, Capital Punishment, Billy Larson, Satan, Ken War, and most of the legends of the IWO goes on... before fading into HIT and Potright holding onto the briefcase as the wire snaps... and they fall to the scaffolding. Hitting it hard... darkness again, the moment of impact. "From The Peak of Heaven..." a replay of them hitting the wood... "To Hell's Uncharted Levels". Blackness... an instrumental version of the song begins... as we watch the sudden ending to the EIGHTH fall... Evan's screwjob idea... it all going to hell... the tearing of the divorce papers... and it all ends with Potright raising the world title high in the air... Beth in his arms...)
(We fade into the arena, as the fans are standing on their feet, cheering, and holding up signs such as memorials for Edward Wilson, and cheering on their favorite superstars. Playing loudly in the background is none other than "Tolerate" by Staind is heard over the pa system, as we fade around to Greg Parker and JT, both standing and in suits, holding microphones.)
JT:WELCOME TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!
GP:Hey! That's my line jerkass!
JT:You shoulda been quicker on the ball Parker. Tonight, I CAN NOT BE SLAPPED! Nikki is NOT Here!
GP:Yes, she's at home recooperating from the trials of the past couple of weeks. She did return one week after being burnt, which is hellacious in it's own right.
JT:But I'm free to do whatever I want!
GP:As part of the IWO, I would definitly like to send out my personal condolences to the Wilson family, and the entire CWL. Ed, you will be missed.
JT:Same here... Ed was a great guy.
GP:But with that said, we must go on with whatever we can...
(The scene fades backstage in the parking lot, where we see the yellow lamborghini pulling in. The motor comes to a stop as the door opens, out steps Sabastian Crow wearing his usual black KIK pants, white underneath shirt, and black IWO opened silk shirt, oh, and the shades cover his eyes. As he shuts the door behind him and grabs his gym bag from behind the seat. He continues to chomp down heavily on his gum as he smirks a smile and walks toward the opening doors of the arena where he is greeted by 2 security guards. Crow stopís in front of them and begins questioning. ]
Sabastian Crow: You mind getting out of my way ?
Security Guard #1: Iím sorry sir, but we have strict orderís to keep you out tonight.
Sabastian Crow: Strict Orders? Whoís trying to keep me out ?
Security Guard #1: Well...
Sabastian Crow: Is It Tom !?!?!? Arg! (Censored) this (Censored)... let me through...
[The guards stop Crow as he tries to walk through them... ]
Security Guard #2: Weíre sorry sir, but we have strict orders, and I do mean, STRICT orders not to let you in tonight...
[ Crow stands there and breaths...]
Sabastian Crow: Arg! I donít believe this (Censored)...
Security Guards: ......
[ Crow looks at the guards... ]
Sabastian Crow: (Censored), well, can you at least go get me Tom ? Tell him to put down the sugar cubes and talk to Crow...
Security Guard #2: Yes sir!
[ The second guard goes into the arena leaving the first guard standing there still as the camera zoomís in on Crow... ]
Sabastian Crow: This is un-believable!!!
(Crow angerly leaves, as we open up to another backstage area, as we see a yellow 2001 Lotus, tinted out windows, and the works, pulling up into the parking lot. It stops in a convienent spot, and shuts off. The lights dim, and door opens, and out steps a beaten, bruised, and bandaged up High Flyer. Immediatly, a pop is heard, as the fans come to their feet for the Snow selling lunatic. Flyer slams the driver's side door shut, as he slowly walks over to the entrance to the main backstage area, taking his time and showing off the pain it takes to put pressure on his left leg. His limp is much more noticable than it was at Warcry, as he slowly makes his way to the back. He makes his way over to a security guard, as he shows him his pass and identification. One Joey Malone stands behind the guard, almost as if behind prison doors.)
Joey Malone:Hey Flyer.
Flyer:I can't believe this thing with Ed, it's just shocking.
Joey Malone:It's evil, it's so evil. You going to beat up that meanie-head Davis?
Flyer:Nah man, I've got something else planned... I've gotta go, I'll catch you after the show.
Malone:See ya snow man!
Malone:I wonder if it involves Deepwithinthefuckingundergoundah?
(Malone walks off singing "Freebird," as we fade to the ringside area.)
GP:It seems that High Flyer is in peak condition, or at least able ability...
("Your Disease" by Saliva begins to blast throughout the arena. The crowd gets on their feet and begins to heavily boo. Suddenly, IWO World Heavyweight Champion, Donnie Daze appears at the entrance. His managers, Joey Legion and Matt Senate are each at a side. Donnie has the IWO World title around his waist. He looks over the crowd with a smile on his face, then walks towards the ring. He flashes smiles to the hateful fans, and even attempts to slap the hand of a young fan, who quickly moves it out of the way. Donnie continues to smile as he gets into the ring. Legion and Senate each lean against a corner. A member of the ring crew tosses Donnie a microphone. He taps on it, then begins to speak)
Donnie: Alright. Cut my music.
(The music fades out)
Donnie: Alright. Here we go. As all of my loving fans know, I left WarCry last Sunday, with the IWO World Heavyweight title around my waist. I don't know if you inbred hicks could see, but it's clearly around my waist.
(The fans boo)
Donnie: Fine. I was just making sure. I figured you drunks would have blurry vision already. But hey, it looks like I underestimated you. You wanted to be sober long enough to see your favorite wrestler, Donnie Daze, come out here and cut his little promo.
(The fans heavily boo again)
Donnie: Yep. Speaking of me, did any of you poor bastards shell out the thirty bucks to watch me kick Sam Potright's ass to take his title on Pay-Per-View? I doubt any of you can afford it. Convienience store paychecks don't exactly allow you people to have all the luxuries of life, that say a sanitation engineer can afford.
(The fans begin their assault on the ring, but throwing their beers at Donnie)
Donnie: Are you sure you want to throw those beers you stupid drunks? You people probably care more about that beer than your personal hygeine.
(The beer throwing stops, but "Ass Hole" chants start)
Donnie: Yeah, real original. Anyway, who's up for watching Joey Malone getting his ass kicked?
(The footage begins to play)
JT: THE REFEREE IS ALIVE AGAIN! HE MAKES THE COUNT... ONE..... TWO.....THREE!!!
*ding, ding, ding*
GP: What the hell!? What a travesty of justice! Joey Malone should have won the match!
JT: YES! YES! YES! YES! DONNIE DAZE IS STILL THE MAN!
Meygon: The winner of the match, and STILL IWO World Champion...DONNNNIIIEEEEE DAAAZZZZEEEE!!!!
(The footage ends)
Donnie: There you have it. That just proves that there is not one wrestler in the IWO worthy enough to get a shot at the World Heavyweight
title. Not one.
(Suddenly "Shame" by BT begins to blast throughout the arena. The crowd gets on their feet and gives a huge pop.)
Donnie: Haven't you learned your lesson already!
(Matt, Joey, and Donnie all lean on the rope towards the entrance, except for one problem. Joey Malone floats, defying physics, from the rafters to the ringside area. He grabs a microphone while the music plays.)
Joey Malone: Oh, Donniiieeee!!!
(The three of them start looking around, wondering where Malone is. The music stops as it is noted that they don't think to look behind them.)
Joey Malone: Hey, look behind you, stupid.
(They three all get this shocked look on their faces and turn around.)
Joey Malone: I couldn't help but notice that you're starting your party without me. That wasn't very considerate of you, Donnie. It's bad
enough that you literally stole the title from Samuel, made a mockery of the IWO and its fans, then manage to defend the title against me, while CONVENIENTLY forgetting the one thing that happened before the pinfall...
(Joey points at the IWO Tron, where it shows Donnie Daze perched on top of Malone in the corner. Malone grabs Daze's arms and crosses them...)
GP: MEMORY LANE! THE MEMORY LANE BY JOEY MALONE! IT'S OVER! IT HAS TO BE OVER! MALONE JUST OBLITERATED DONNIE DAZE WITH IT! That's it! We're gonna have a new champion! But the referee is still down! And what the hell!?
Nikki: Joey Legion and Matt Senate are in the ring and they have chairs! Malone's just now getting to his feet...
JT: OH MY GOD! A CONCHAIRTO DOUBLE CHAIRSHOT BY LEGION AND SENATE! MALONE IS DOWN AND LEGION ROLLS THE UNCONSCIOUS DONNIE DAZE ON TOP OF MALONE!
(Back to Joey and Daze.)
Malone: Now, Daze... is that any way to make yourself look better than you really are? By showing the fanbase a piece of badly edited footage?
I sincerely doubt that the IWO fans are as stupid as you want them to be. Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, Daze? It's worth
about two cents, anyway.
Daze: What the hell is your problem, Malone? Ever since the Real Deal Tournament, you've been hung up about your money. Shit, Malone, are you going to continue to be hung up in your small change? Because I'm up in the big bucks, Malone. Somewhere you'll never be at...
Malone: Whatever, Donnie. That kind of excuse... it's for those who see nothing wrong in stealing. And it's quite obvious, from your actions at WarCry.
Daze: Hey, FUCK YOU, Malone. Whatever you say, I still hold that win over you, so as far as I'm concerned, you'll never... EVER face me for this *holds up World title* strap.
GP: Uh oh, is that a challenge?
Malone: Why don't you just regrow your sack and face me, then?
Daze: I have NOTHING to prove in kicking your ass again.
Malone: Try me.
(Malone drops the microphone.)
Daze: *laughing* Do you... heh heh... seriously believe you're better than I am?
(Malone turns, then drops Daze with a right hand. Legion and Senate start double-teaming Malone at this point.)
GP: MY GOD! MALONE JUST KNOCKED DOWN THE WORLD CHAMPION!
GP: Senate and Legion attack Malone! Double irish whip!
(Malone counters by dropping down, throwing his own momentum forward and sending Legion and Senate both into the ropes. Malone flips around to his back.)
GP: Kipup by Malone! RIGHT INTO THE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! LEGION AND SENATE ARE ROLLING OUT! DAZE IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!
(The fans pop like hell.)
JT: Nooo! Turn around!
GP: Malone turns Daze around! Right hands! Now he irish whips Daze in, but Daze holds on to the ropes and slides out!
("Shame" by BT blares out as Malone stares down Daze. Daze begins to back off, along with Legion and Senate behind him. They stare each other down, as the camera fades to a commercial break.)
GP:I can't believe what we just saw! Joey Malone and Donnie Daze almost broke out into a pure fist fight out here!
[Cameras hit the backstage lockerroom area, of one Sam Potright, former IWO World Heavyweight champion. He's sitting down drinking a cup of water with another former IWO World champ, Dane Matthews.]
Matthews- Man, how you doing?
Potright- Pretty good actually for being put through hell just six days ago..Yourself?
Matthews- Same (Censored), new day...
Potright- Yeah. The days of our partnership... alot has changed.
Matthews- That was some crazy (Censored) when you think about it. It ended up being me and Capital Punishment as the World Tagteam champions and then you and Gunnar Smith came out the I/C tag champs, weird shit.
Potright- Yeah, it's a weird life we live...
[Someone comes to the door, when they walk in you can tell its an IWO commentator..]
Commentator- Hey Sam, we need you for a minute..Do you mind?
Potright- Go ahead..Dane excuse me..
Matthews- Go ahead man..
(Potright leaves Matthews' side, still bandaged and torn. He walks out of the backstage area, as we fade to the ringside.)
JT: Well, this next match looks like it's really gonna heat up. As you may recall, last Sunday at Warcry, our next two teams really tore into each other. They were merciless, they were...well, let's go to a replay.
[The scene cuts to a film clip of the high points of the Deadly Sins vs. Suicide Kings match at Warcry. The chair shots, the tables, the fire... cut back to the ring.]
Meygon: The follwing match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, from New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing in at two hundred and sixty-two pounds, he is one half of the Deadly Sins, Jack Breaaakerrr!
["Where It's At" by Beck plays and Jack steps out on the ramp to a good-sized pop. He runs out to the apron and raises his arms to acknowlege his fans, then flips over the top rope and into the ring. He starts to warm up
as Meygon continues.]
Meygon: Comming down to the ring next, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred and eighty-nine pounds, Jake Waaallllkkkeeerrr!
["Mexican Radio" by Wall of Voodoo plays as Jake steps out and poses at the top of the ramp. The crowd pops huge after his fantastic bump through the flaming table at Warcry. He runs down to the ring, flips in over the
ropes, and approaches Jack. They whisper to each other for a moment, then shake hands and move to opposite corners.]
Meygon: And their partners, they are the IWO World Tag Team Champions, Jeff and Ryan King, the Suicide Kings!
[Jeff and Ryan step out to the ramp and pose with their belts. The crowd pops as they stroll down to the ring, pose on the turnbuckles with the belts, then hand them to the ref and step over to their respective partners.]
GP: How long do you think these teams are gonna last?
JT: I know what you mean. Ryan King drove Jake Walker through a flaming table on Sunday! Now they have to somehow coexist against their own partners, Jack Breaker and Jeff King! What the hell was VP Tom thinking?
*DING DING DING!*
GP: This match is on!
[Jack and Jeff start arguing over who's going to start. Jack shoves Jeff off the apron and steps in against Ryan King, who slides in at the same time. They lock up, and Jack starts off with a boot to the stomach, followed by a DDT. Ryan pops back up, and Jack catches him with a clothesline. Jack goes to the top rope, pauses for a moment as a few cameras in the arena flash, then hits a 450 body splash on Ryan. Ryan makes a blind tag to Jake, and Jack grudgingly tags in Jeff.]
JT: Well, there's some real heat brewing between these two teams.
[Jake and Jeff start brawling in the ring, trading rights and lefts,until Jeff connects with a hook punch, knocking Jake off his feet. Jeff goes for an elbow drop, then hops up on the top rope and hits a leg drop.]
GP: Jeff King is taking an early upper hand in this match...but wait! Where's Jack going?
[While Jake and Jeff continue to brawl, Jack jumps off the apron and reaches under the ring for a weapon, but is intercepted by Ryan King. Jack knocks him down with a snap jab, and grabs a barbed wire baseball bat from under the ring. As he slides into the ring, Jeff King jumps out and gets a chair. As Jack brandishes the bat dangerously, Ryan King comes at him from behind, but Jack ducks and sends Ryan over the ropes and into Jeff.]
JT: The Sins are looking for revenge from Warcry!
[Jeff slides back into the ring with the chair. He swings at Jack and connects weakly with his chest. Jack stabs out with the bat and catches Jeff in the ear. The ref calls for the bell.]
GP: Looks like this one's a no contest.
[Jack slams Ryan King in the face with the bat, while Jake slides out and grabs the ring bell. He slams it directly on Jeff's face.]
[Jack drops the bat and goes for a table. He slides it into the ring and Jake sets it up. He grabs another and slides it in as well, and Jake stacks it on the other table. Jack climbs into the ring and drags in a ladder, which he sets up next to the tables. As Ryan starts to get to his feet, Jake flicks a match into the tables, which subsequently go up in flames. Jack charges at Ryan and hits a Clockwork DDT (Jumping Tornado DDT), bringing Ryan down to the mat. He and Jake drag Ryan up the ladder...]
GP: This is it! The ultimate revenge for that flaming table at Warcry! Two flaming tables!
[Jake stands cautiously on the top step of the ladder, and sets Ryan up in a military press. He starts to lose his balance and wobble, then quickly drops Ryan onto the tables as the ladder collapses and Jake falls safely to the mat. Ryan drops through the two tables, screaming the whole way down. Jeff pulls him out of the fire, and charges at Jack, limbs flying. He pummels Jack into the corner and starts stomping away, while Ryan crawls slowly out of the ring. Jake comes to Jack's rescue, catching Jeff in the back of the head with a boot.]
JT: What a great matchup!
[The Sins stand in the ring and survey the carnage around them as we cut to Donnie Daze's locker room.)
Donnie Daze: God dammit! He can't do that!
Joey Legion: Jesus, Donnie. Calm down, man. It's just Joey Malone.
Matt Senate: Yeah, if you need to beat him, it's as easy as one, two, conchairto.
Daze: It's the principle of the matter, Matt. I'm gonna go get some air, being cooped up in this fucking locker room is a drag...
Legion: You think he's stressed?
Senate: As stressed as a string attached to a bowling ball over a cliff, Joey.
Legion: I agree.
(Scene then cuts to Joey Malone, watching the action on a monitor.)
Joey Malone: Heh heh heh... Dazey Wazey gonna go walk, eh? Perhaps I should give him a lift...
(Keri grabs him by his shoulder.)
Keri Lindum: Joey, I have a bad feeling about this.
Malone: Aww, it'll be fine...
(Malone walks out of the locker room.)
Keri: Sure, Joey...
[Camera's are once again in the lockerroom of IWOer Sam Potright, who's accompanied by his lovely wife Beth Potright..]
Beth- This is crazy whats going on with Donnie Daze..That belts gone to his
Sam Potright- Oh yeah, he''s just been given the ego rise of a lifetime, winning the championship at such a tender age.
[A knock is heard at the door, and a man walks in with a box full of hand made, imported choclates, he hands these to Beth, Sam is left with a look on his face of displeasement.]
Beth- These for me?
Man- Yes, from a mysterious lover..
[Camera cuts back to ring announcers.]
JT- Someones trying to bone Beth Potright! How much better does this get?
GP- Sam Potright does NOT like this ONE bit!
("The Final Countdown" by Europe hits as the crowd cheers.)
Meygon: The next meatch is a non-title match. Indrocducing first, from Dublin, Ireland, he weighs in at 267 pounds, the challenger... Jade..O'Dell!!!!
(Jade O'Dell steps through the curtains receiving several cheers from the audience. He makes his way to the ring, and waits ofr his music to die down. The referee checks him for weapons and other crap.)
Meygon: And now... He is your North American Champion.... Weighing in at 315 pounds... He is.. CYANIDE!!!!
(The crowd pops as "Current of Love" (Theme to Baywatch) by David Hasselhof hits. Cyanide's three models- Callista, Stephanie, and Lydia all run out on to the entrance platform wearing baywatch style bathing suits. Then, out steps Cyanide wearing red swimming shorts and holding onto a red, baywatch floaty. The crowd lets out a huge pop as Cyanide rasies one hand to his brow, searching the audience for anyone drowning. The three supermodels all run down the ramp, Cyanide soon follows. They all run in slow motian like on the show, so we can see the supermodel's boobs bounce around.)
GP: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is not for the title, however- If Jade O'Dell can beat the champion, he might recieve a shot.
JT: Forget about that, Greg! I see supermodels out here! In BATHING SUITS!
GP: Calm down JT...
**DING DING DING**
GP: And the match is underway! Jade O'Dell, starting out with a few ounches to Cyanide, and Irish Whip to the ropes, and what a nice takedown by O'Dell!
JT: You know.. I wonder if any of those supermodels would accept money for sex...
(Jade O'Dell starts kicking away at Cyanide.)
Callista: Don't worry Cyanide! I'll help you out!
(Callista hops into the apron.)
Callista *talking to ref*: Hey big boy...
Referee: Nope, that's not going to work! You can't phase me woman!
(Butt Thrilligan hops out of the front row.)
Butt Thrilligan *talking to ref*: Howdy... Partner....
Referee: Why.. Hello there!
(The ref walks away leaving Cyanide and O'Dell in a corner.)
GP: O'Dell's about to throw a huge right... BUT HE WAS COUNTERED! CYANIDE JUST THREW SAND IN HIS EYES!
JT: Where did THAT come from?!
(Cyanide grabs his baywatch floaty and naild Jade O'Dell in the head with it.)
GP: CYANIDE JUST TOOK DOWN O'DELL WITH THAT FLOATY! THE REF ISN'T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION.
Referee: Oh yeah, so.. How's about we meet someplace?
Butt Thriligan: Sounds great to me... Honey Buns.
(Cyanide throws the floaty back into the corner, he then does some type of Suplex to O'Dell. Cyanide then points at his floaty. The crowd gives no repsonce. Cyanide points to again. Still, no responce. He points to it again and looks around the arena. No responce... Suddenly, some stange guy who happens to be nude runs by with a sign.)
Nude Guy- Sign: He's about to use the floaty you assholes!
(At this, the crowd lets out a huge pop.)
(Cyanide runs for the Floaty, but is taken down by a dropkick from O'Dell. Cyanide gets to his feet, and then lands back on his head, after a reverse Russian Leg Sweep by O'Dell. He pins Cyanide.)
Referee: Yeah, I love ass...
(I said he PINS Cyanide...)
GP: One... Kickout.
JT: ...I have this odd feeling that the referee is gay.
GP: Gee JT, what makes you say that?
(We cut to the ref, who is playing cat's cradle with Butt Thriligan.)
JT: I don't know... It's just this odd feeling I have...
GP: Well.. Your feelings suck!
(Jade O'Dell does another one of those Irish Whips to Cynide. This time, Cyanide counters with a clothsline.)
GP: O'Dell is down.
(Cyanide helps Jade to his feet, then flings him into the ring post. Cyanide grabs the FLoaty and uses it to start choking O'Dell out. The ref eventually says goodbye to Thrilligan, and forces Cyanide to stop choking O'Dell.)
JT: Yay, justice is served!
(O'Dell gets to his feet, then brings his right hand back for a punch. The chorus to "Current of Love" starts up (you know how it goes- I'll be there!), and we go into the slow motion thing. O'Dell brings in his punch, but Cyanide blocks. Then O'Dell gets one in to Cyanide's stomach. Cyanide then retaliates with a knee to O'Dell's mid-section, followed by a DDT. With O'Dell down, Cynide points to his floaty, the crowd cheers. We are, by the way, still in the slow motian thing. Cyanide grabs his floaty, then climbs the turnbuckle . He hops off, perfmoring a frog spash with the floaty on his shoulder. He lands on O'Dell, and the slow motian thing ends.)
GP: Here is Cyanide, covering O'Dell! One.. Two.. Three!!! CYANIDE WINS!!!!
JT: Thanks to the Lifesaver, the brilliant finisher of his!
("Current of Love" ends as we see Cyanide jump into the air and some freeze fame thing happens. We fade to commercial Break.)
(We fade back into the ringside area, as we see Parker and JT sitting, talking about the next matchup.)
GP:Well, I can't wait for Archer and Seaman. This is a showing of two of the youngest, brightest talents we have...
("See Thru All" by Staind is heard blasting over the pa system, as the fans immediate reaction is to rise to their feet in cheers. The lights dim to a snow grey, as we see red, blue, green, and yellow pyro shoot off from the ring posts in a circular fashion, speeding up as they go. They stop, turning the arena pitch black, as then they are shot off at once, encapsing the arena in light once more. Standing at the top of the arena rampway is High Flyer, his hair colored red and blue, and dropped down to his chin. His attire is nothing more than his old wrestling tights of the Snow and Time Man, along with an IWO jacket. He slowly makes his way down to the ring, and then climbs in, slowly, trying not to re-destroy his ankle.)
GP:It must be hell and high water for Flyer in this case. This will be the first time he truely utters a word since his accident three months ago.
(Flyer gets into the ring fully, and asks Meygon for the microphone, which she easily complies. "See Thru All" fades out, as Flyer clears his throat.)
Flyer:A miracle of medical science.... I stand here because of the advances of human technology, and boy does it feel good.(Pop) Four months ago, all the doctors in the land were telling me that I would be lucky to be able to sit anywhere outside of the handicap section. Now... at the end of my journey to recovery, I have proved them all wrong.
(Flyer raises his hand in the air with three fingers up, his thumb, index, and middle, spread apart. He incites a cheer from the crowd.)
Flyer:Maybe this is the end of another journey for me. Maybe that was a sign from God telling me to hang up my boots...(A chorus of boos are heard.) Maybe this is truely the last chapter in my book, but I promised myself, for as long as I lived, my last chapter would not end like it did on January fifteenth, 2001. Looking back into the haze that is that car crash, I will make sure, that one Tony Davis, never forgets his mistake....
(Flyer looks around to the crowd, as he hears them cheering.)
Flyer:Now, I may go off on a tangent here, but please, just bear with me. For all my life, I've been treated as someone without a chance in the world. People told me I was to small to be in the ring, but I proved them wrong. People told me I would never amount to anything in this business, but they were wrong again. And people told me I wouldn't be standing in this ring right now, in front of all you fans here in Newfoundland(cheers), and here I am... proving the critics wrong once more. Now, it's time to fulfill my promise, my desire, my quest begins, and ends, in the total destruction and obliteration of Tony Davis. The man who destroyed my life, mangeled my career, and almost killed me, will have his life destroyed, have his career ended, and his life, will damn sure come to an end... And Tammy, the nerve of it all. The nerve of you to destroy your family values. You shall pay the ultimate price. You will pay a fate worse than death. You, Tammy, shall live in a liftime of hellfire and brimstones. May God have mercy on your soul Tammy... May God have mercy on your forsaken soul...
(Flyer reaches a breaking point, almost reaching into cheers, attempting to stop his crying. Then, "Meaning of Life" by Disturbed is heard over the pa system.)
GP:As one person I repect a great deal would say... BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
(Tony Davis walks out from the back, microphone in hand. His hair clutters his face, almost changing his personality entirely. He seems like he has turned sinister since his return.)
Davis:Now, Flyer, I know you may be jealous of my relationship with Tammy, but that is no reason to banish her to Hell. Love triumphs Jack, and whether you know this or not is not my problem. But what I have, is that you actually believe that you can defeat me. Jack, you're a crippled. You never were talented to begin with, and you'll be lucky to survive the next time we're in the ring together. I know your weakness, and exploiting it will be my game.
Flyer:Listen Davis, you don't get what's behind Tammy...
Davis:I get it just fine. For once in your life, you're jealous of me. Well, get used to that feeling Jack, because my days won't be fueled by my destruction, but by my actions, destroying those around me.
(Tammy walks out, as Davis puts her arm around her. She almost feels ackward.)
Flyer:Listen Davis! You don't get it! You just don't get the fact that you and Tammy aren't what you seem to be!
Davis:What the hell are you talking about! Just get your thoughts out of your head Flyer before I knock them out for you!
Flyer:Listen... Tammy... she's...
Davis:I don't need to hear your insults Flyer... Just realize that you're going to be eating your words. Damning my women to hell won't get you brownie points, but it will help me point my game plan to your death... I'll catch you later Flyer... when you realize that you're not what you once were...
(Davis and Tammy leave, as Davis laughs almost meniacally. We fade to a commercial Break.)
[ We go back to the parking lot where we see Sabastian Crow still waiting with his gym bag in his hand...]
Sabastian Crow: Why Is this taking so long !?!?!
[Suddenly, cameraís go to the doorway of the arena ,where we see Tom Ford walking out with a paper in his hand. Crow catches his view, as Tom confronts Crow.]
Sabastian Crow: Whatís this shit all about Ford!?!?!?!
VP Ford: Whoa, hold up big guy, I'll get to that in just a second.
[Crow gets In Tom Fordís face and goes eye to eye with him. ]
Sabastian Crow: Then tell me, exactly! What is this all about?!?
[ Tom Ford smiles, he waits a minute and chuckles...]
Tom Ford: What are you going to do Crow?
Sabastian Crow: ......
Tom Ford: Exactly, but I will tell you this. If you do, do something, then I will suspend you from the IWO in a grand length of time!!!
Sabastian Crow: Oh? Is that so?
Tom Ford: Yes Mr. Crow, that is so. Now if you excuse me, I got a show to get back too...
[Tom Ford turns around and trys to leave but Crow grabs him by the arm and spinís him around. He grabs hold of his collar and makes eye contact yet again. ]
Sabastian Crow: You never answered my question on why I got you down here !!!
Tom Ford: Ok! What do you need ?
Sabastian Crow: Donít act dumb Ford! I want to know, why am I not allowed in the arena tonight ?
Tom Ford: Why? You want to know WHY YOUíRE NOT ALLOWED IN THE ARENA TONIGHT ?
[ Crow nods his head... ]
Tom Ford: Well, Iíll tell you why, because since Hostile Meltdown, I noticed you and Evan are mingling on the same page! Since this is MY SHOW, there isnít going to be any damage from either of you! So this way, Iím keeping out Evanís friend, and Evan won't throw his weight around like he tries to do.
[Crow lifts Tom up a bit and slamís him into the wall. Crow lookís deeper into Tomís eyes with anger.]
Tom Ford: And let me remind you Crow, If you lay another hand on me after this OR if you enter thearena tonight, there will be consequences!
Sabastian Crow: Grrr...
[ Crow lets Tom go as Tom brushes off his suit... ]
Tom Ford: Smart Man... now take your luggage and head back to the hotel because Iím sure you donít want to sit out here all night...
[ Tom Ford straightens up his suit, turns around, and headís back inside the arena as we get a last shot of Crow... We fade into the arena, as we fade to Greg Parker.]
GP: Fans, we're ready for our next match, and what a match it should be.
GP: It's for the Unified Title, it should be pretty good.
JT: Yea, ok. Simon Seaman, and Ben Archer..big whoop.
GP: You weren't saying that Sunday Night when Archer ran the Mysterious One into a wall, now were you?
JT: That rocked, but, this is for the Unified Title, as you said, and I doubt Ben Archer is just going to run down Simon Seaman, and give up his
shot at the second, and third belts in his climbing of the IWO ladder.
GP: True, I really doubt Archer is that stupid, but lets go ahead and..wait, I've been told there is something going on backstage.
[The camera cuts back, and into a lockerroom. You can quickly tell, that this is the personal locker room of Shawn Arrows. He seems to be sitting up in his chair, with a mixed look of fear, and hatred on his face, as he watches the television. We can hear by the voices coming through the television, that Shawn Arrows is watching a replay of The Mysterious One, getting smashed into a wall, by Ben Archer and a truck.]
GP: Arrows looks like he's ready to just kill himself.
JT: I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into, when he got in Archer's face at War Cry.
Shawn: What the hell have I gotten myself into? Ok, so now it's obvious, I have to get rid of Archer, before he decided it's time to get rid of me.
[Cut back to the announcers.]
JT: What the heck is Shawn Arrows planning to do?
GP: I don't know, but it's time for us to get this match going!
Meygon: This match, is for the IWO Unified Title. Coming to the ring first, the challenger, weighing in at 243 pounds. He's from Belper England...and he is the Master of The ArC!! Here is..Ben..Archer!!!
["The Unforgiven 2" by Metallica begins to play throughout the arena, as the fans, boo to their hearts content. Archer runs down to the ring, and slides in, testing out the ropes.]
Meygon: And now, his opponent, and the IWO Unified Champion. Weighing in at 238 pounds, he is from Burbank California, and he is the Master of The Silencer!!..Here is, Simonnnn Seaaman!!!
["Enjoy The Silence" by Failure blares through the arena, as Seaman runs to the ing, sliding in, and charging right at a waiting Ben Archer, who quickly takes him down with a drop toe hold, slamming his neck on the bottom rope.]
GP: And this match is off with a jump start, as Seaman made a mistake by charging right at Archer. Archer, picking Seaman up, and he just locked im an arm bar. He's hooking his leg over the arm of Seaman, and he just kicked Seaman in the face. Archer with a sit down, and theres a leg drop on that arm as well.
JT: Archer, taking the action right to Seaman here, and it's obvious he wants to win that title, and get back to training for whats to come with
GP: Archer gets back to his feet, and sends Seaman into the turnbuckle, charging in. Seaman lifts up his leg, but Archer slides on the ground, and kicks Seaman's other leg, sending him crashing down.
JT: Archer picks Seaman up by his leg, and pulls him up so he's standing on the other, nailing a Fisherman Suplex, and going for the win!
GP: Seaman kicked out! Archer looks pissed, and he's still got ahold of that leg, pulling Seaman back up!! Another Fisherman Suplex, and Another!!!
JT: He kicked out again!!
GP: Archer looks even more pissed, and he's again pulling Seaman up, but Seaman gets his other leg up, and nails a low blow on Archer!
JT: Yeaa...thats the way to get the advantage!!! Seaman gets his leg free, and grabs Archer, lifting him up into the air, and coming down quickly with a brain buster.
GP: Seaman picks Archer back up and swings him to the ropes, catching him coming back with a clothesline, and then dropping a quick elbow drop on Archer.
JT: Seaman jerks Archer up, and locks on a sleeper hold, trying to get Archer worn down, but Archer quickly reveres it with one of his own, and
then just as quickly sits down, slamming the back of Seamans head into the mat.
GP: These two have quickly been taking the action to each other, as Archer pulls Seaman up to his feet, and knees him in the gut. It looks like Archer is going to take a move out of Arrows' play book here.
JT: Archer bounces off that middle rope, springing around, and you're right, he just landed that Super-Shot DDT perfectly!
GP: I'm sure Archer did that, just to try and make Arrows mad, and to prove that he can do, everything, Arrows can do, better.
JT: Archer, picking Seaman back up, and he just threw him into the turnbuckle again, but Seaman popped up onto the top rope. Archer, trying to stop himself, and Seaman's going for the Silencer!!!!
GP: Wait a minute, Archer just caught him, and drove him down with a brain buster!!! Archer keeps ahold of Seaman, and picks him up again!! Archer spins him around, and nails The ArC!!!!
JT: Archer goes for the cover!!!
GP: Noo!!! Shawn Arrows just came out through the crowd, and threw a chair in the ring and pulled Archer out of the ring. Arrows rears back, and he just nailed Archer in the head with that steel chair, and just rolled him in the ring!!!
JT: Arrows seems to seriously have a grudge with Archer here, and it doesn't seem like it is going to settle down anytime soon.
GP: Arrows, walking to the back, as Seaman is getting up. Seaman, on the top rope, and Archer is slowly getting to his feet. Silencer!!!
GP: Thats it!!! Thanks to help from Shawn Arrows, Ben Archer has lost his shot at the Unified Title, and Simon Seaman wins another match!
JT: Archer's getting up, and he just shoved Seaman down!! Archer's storming off backstage, and it's obvious he's going to go get a peice of Shawn Arrows!!!
GP: After what happened to the Mysterious One, thanks to Ben Archer, if I was Arrows, I wouldn't be going backstage trying to get away from him.
JT: Yea, well, he did, and now Archer is backstage as well, and we've got a camera following him!! He's heading towards one of the security personel backstage!
Archer: Wheres Arrows? Where did he go?!?
Security: He went out back, and into the parking lot. He looked like he was in a hurry to get out of here.
Archer: Yea, well, he better be. He better hope I don't find his cowardly ass back there hidding.
GP: Dear god, what the hell is Arrows thinking?!?
JT: Archer just went out into the parking lot, and he's looking straight ahead, at Shawn Arrows, in his viper.
GP: No he's not...
JT: Arrows looks like he's about to show Archer just what it feels like. Wait a second!!!! Someone just nailed Archer from behind with a chair, and sent him crashing to the ground!!
GP: Thats...Kaysey Arrows! He's back as well!!
JT: Thats right. Kaysey Arrows, just nailed Ben Archer with a chair, and now he's getting in the car with Shawn!!
GP: Archer's actually getting up, and he just jumped in his car, and he's chasing after the Arrows Brothers!!!!
JT: What the hell are Shawn and Kaysey thinking here?
GP: Fans, we've lost track of them, now that they have left the building, but we'll be sure to bring you an update on what happened after they left
[We fade back into the arena, as ďEnter the SandmanĒ by Metallica starts playing over the speakers as the fanís give a mixed reaction... Simon Seaman is still standing around the ringside area]
GP: Uh-oh, It looks like we got company...
JT: Wait a minute, I thought Tom Ford told this guy to stay out...
GP: Well It lookís like heís not staying out!
[Sabastian Crow comes running down the rampway with a steel chair as he slides into the ring.]
JT: Simon Seamon wants to take a chance, he charges at Crow with that belt, but Crow ducks the shot, Seamon turns around and Crow kickís Seamon in the gut, Seamon falls into the turnbuckle, Crow releases the chair, he places Seamon at top and, OH NO, Crowís not a high flyer...
GP: Heís going to try a risked move and...
[Sabastian Crow setís Simon Seamon on the top turnbuckle In a twist of fate position... ]
GP: Oh my God, is Crow going to try ďThe Twist Of FateĒ, and...
JT: He just done it !!!
GP: Sabastain Crow, first time, delivered a Twist of Fate to Simon Seamon straight from the top, oh thatís got to hurt!
(Simon Seamon holds onto his neck as he trys to roll out of the ring, Crow kicks him In the side, as Simon fallís off the apron to the ground... Crow paces around the ring smiling as fanís continue booing,heavily. Crow asks Meygon for a microphone, and she complies)
GP: I wonder what Crow has on his mind!?!
Sabastian Crow: Tom Ford, let me just say, that if you think youíre going to ban me from Hostile Takeover, then youíre in the wrong spot of town! You see Ford, there is no way in hell you will EVER ban me from any show, nor the IWO itself because as most people should know by now...
[Crow leans on the ropes.]
Sabastian Crow: I do what I want and when I want! Now Ford, I might do something if I like to do something, yeah, but being suspended from the IWO ? NUH UH! THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
[Crow starts pacing around the ring some more as the fanís continue booing him, throwing trash at him and stuff.]
Sabastian Crow: You see Tom, there is no way in Hell you will EVER ban me from Hostile Takeover,there is no way In Hell you will EVER ban me from the IWO... and of course, there Is no way In Heaven, you are going to interrupt any more of my matches because Iím so God damn sick of It... Tom, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! NOW!
JT: What!?!?! This is unbelievable...
GP: Sabastian Crow is calling out Vice President Tom Ford!
JT:I canít believe this is happening! First off, Vice President Ford trys to keep Crow out of Hostile Takeover, .next, Crow interrupts Hostile Takeover, and now, we might be seeing Tom Ford versus Sabastian Crow AT Hostile Takeover !!!
GP:Oooh boy, this is going to be a classic! One thing you donít do is piss off the big man Crow, and I think Tom is going to feel that tonight...
[Crow brings the microphone back to his mouth.]
Sabastian Crow:Tom, I donít got all night! You have two options, you can come out here or I can come back there and I doubt you want that to happen!
[Crowd continues to boo.]
Sabastian Crow: Too much of a chicken (Censored) to show, I knew you couldnít face me right now, I might as well...
[ ďSuffocateĒ by Finger Eleven starts playing over the speakers as the fanís jump up from their seats giving a huge pop. Crow quickly payís his attention to the rampway lowering the microphone.]
[LiGiL runs down the rampway in high pursuit as he slides into the ring.]
GP: LiGiL has found Crow!
Shallow: LiGiL with a knock down, Crow back up, and LiGiL hitís him with another hard knockdown. The fans are going nuts here!
GP: LiGiL brings Crow back up, he backs him against the ropes, Irish whip, NO! Crow reverses the whip and sends LiGiL to the ropes, LiGiL comes back and Crow hits him with a hard powerslam to the mat!
JT: Crow has the advantage, LiGiL should have never messed with the big man, Crow tryís to bring LiGiL back up, but LiGiL gets In a lowblow...
Crow goes down, LiGiL grabs the steel chair and...
JT: HE LAYS OUT SABASTIAN CROW !!!!!!!
[LiGiL throws the steel chair onto the body of Crow as ďSuffocateĒ by Finger Eleven begins playing over the speakers]
GP: Sabastian Crow has been laid out by the hands of LiGiL! Oh my God! What else can happen here tonight!?!
[LiGiL exits the ring with the fanís cheering him on.Crow lays motionless on the mat as we go to commercial. ]
(We fade into the backstage area, as we see VP Ford sitting at his counter, obviously angered.)
VP Ford:The nerve of Sabastian Crow! Can't he listen to what I say!
Secretary*Over Intercom*:Mr. Ford, Exx is here...
VP Ford:Send him in.
(Exx walks in, obviously ready for some sort of fight or what not.)
VP Ford:Listen, Exx, it seems to be that Crow is a pain in my hair, ever since you've been brought onto the scene. He seems to want a piece of me... so, next week, it'll be me and you, against Crow. But first, since Crow wants to attack innocent by-standers, Crow will have to face Seaman in a non-title match. That sound good Exx?
(Exx nods his head in agreement. Ford sticks out his hand, and Exx shakes it. The scene cuts to a backstage part of Hostile takeover, as we see Tony Davis. He's sitting down, contemplating his next move, as we hear a background noise of something like a shower. Then, a knock on a door is heard. Davis gets to his feet, and walks to the door. He opens it, as we see none other than a UPS Man.)
UPS Man:Package for Tony Davis.
(Davis just stares at the man.)
UPS Man:Are you Davis?
(Davis stares even more of a hole into the man.)
UPS Man:How about you just sign here and take this off my hands.
Davis:Who sent this...
UPS Man:I don't know, it wasn't said on the package.
(Davis signs, as the UPS Man hands him a small package, almost the size of a manilla folder. Davis stares the man down, as the UPS Man leaves, a cold shudder going down his back. Davis slams the door shut, as we see Davis begin to unwrap the package. Out from the shower walks Tammy, who's wearing nothing but a towel. Her beautiful curves are shown, as her long blonde hair is dripping wet.)
Tammy:Who was that?
(Davis finishes unwraping the package, as he sees a picture of Flyer and Tammy, Flyer's arm around Tammy's shoulder. The picture seems to be at least a few years old. Davis immediatly gains a shocked look.)
Davis:What the hell is this?!? HUH!
Tammy:What?!? It's nothing! It means nothing Tony!
Davis:This doesn't look like nothing! Damnit!
(Davis throws down the picture and walks out of the dressing room, incensed. The scene cuts to the parking lot, where Donnie Daze is standing around. He is trying to relieve his stress by kicking an empty trash can.)
Donnie Daze: FUCKING Joey Malone... why the FUCK does he have to FUCKING get in my FUCKING business...
(A motor is heard. Daze pays no mind.)
Daze: Malone's gonna pay for this...
(Suddenly, a GOLF CART, driven by Joey Malone, starts showing up on the screen. Daze doesn't see it.)
Daze: I'm gonna rip his guts out...
(The gold cart is running at full speed, at least fifteen miles per hour. By now, the golf cart is near Daze. Daze finally turns around and steps to the side, and the golf cart runs right into the trash can.)
Joey Malone: ...Shoot.
Daze: What the hell are you doing?
Malone: Erm... well...
(Malone leaps off the golf cart and starts brawling with Daze.)
GP: MY GOD! MALONE IS ATTACKING THE WORLD CHAMPION!
(The referees finally run out like water to seperate the two.)
GP: Daze has a match NEXT!
(Fade to black.)
("I am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie hits on the loudspeaker and the fans immeadietley erupt in boos. The President of the IWO, Evan Levine, walks out and the fans just hate him. He laughs at all the boos and makes his way into the ring.)
President Levine - Before I get to the fact that I was ROBBED at WarCry..
President Levine - Who is there to stop me now? NOBODY! Nobody can oppose President Levine! The Trapezoid? I kicked his ass at WarCry! High Flyer can't even pass a sobreity test sober, and Malone got whupped by Donnie Daze! WHO IS THERE TO CHALLENGE ME?
(The lights go out. The fans start to cheer, not knowing who it is.)
GP - WHO IS IT? WHO COULD IT BE???? WHO WILL CHALLENGE THE PRESIDENT??
(An image starts to blink on the IWO-Tron... a man, starting from his boots, going all the way up to his neck.. but before the face is shown, a familiar guitar riff hits and the fans are in disbelief.)
GP - NO!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!
JT - YES YES YES!!! IT CAN IT CAN!!!!!!!!
("Come As You Are" by Nirvana blasts on the loudspeaker and the fans BREAK OUT into a huge overture of boos.)
GP - THE SOUND IS DEAFENING IN HERE! IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!
(YES! BUT IT CAN!!!!! ZOMBIE STRUTS OUT ONTO THE RAMP!)
JT - HOLY SHIT!!!! IT IS HIM!!! I DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE WOULD SHOW UP! IT'S ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GP - FORMER TWO TIME IWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION AND HALL OF FAMER, ZOMBIE HAS RETURNED HERE TO THE IWO AT HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!!!
(The fans are booing like crazy! They can't believe Zombie is back! Zombie struts down the ramp, wearing his traditional steel toed boots, black
jean shorts, and an old NWF 2000 shirt. His long, black hair is tied up in a ponytail and he looks nuts as ever. He gets up onto the apron and does his trademark crucifix, to which the fans boo like hell! Zombie steps over the top rope and into the ring!!!!)
GP - How much can the people hate one man that they boo him when he comes to challenge President Levine?!?!
(Levine is going apeshit in the ring. He gets right up in Zombie's face and is yelling at him.)
President Levine - *muffled* You get the fuck out of this ring right now or I'll have you arrested!
GP - Oh my God, what does this monster have planned???
(Zombie looks around and the fans are booing the hell out of him! Zombie EXTENDS A HAND TO PRESIDENT LEVINE! LEVINE GOES FOR IT AND THE FANS ARE GOING APESHIT!)
GP - NO!
JT - YES!
(ZOMBIE PULLS BACK AND DECKS LEVINE! THE FANS HATE BOTH OF THESE MEN AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK! ZOMBIE KICKS LEVINE IN THE STOMACH.. DDT!!! LEVINE'S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE MAT!!!! Zombie rolls to the outside and grabs a steel chair and slides back in, and SLAMS THE CHAIR INTO THE SHOULDER OF LEVINE! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!! HE IS NOW SLAMMING THE CHAIR INTO LEVINE'S STERNUM! LEVINE IS HOLDING HIS SHOULDER, WHICH IS HANGING LIKE A WET NOODLE! ZOMBIE LIFTS UP LEVINE, AND THROWS HIM BETWEEN HIS LEGS! MASSIVE POWERBOMB! ZOMBIE JERKS HIM UP, TAZMISSION ON THE PRESIDENT!)
GP - MY GOD!!! THE FANS ARE STUNNED! ZOMBIE IS GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE ON OUR PRESIDENT!
(Zombie continues to wrench away at Levine's shoulder before letting go of the hold. Zombie grabs the chair and continues to work over Levine with shot after shot to his prone body. Zombie lifts up Levine.. SUPERNOVA (Backdrop Driver) ONTO THE CHAIR AND LEVINE'S NECK MAY HAVE JUST BEEN BROKEN! Zombie picks up the dented chair and continues to destroy Levine with it! Zombie puts Levine on the top rope.. OH MY GOD! ZOMBIE CHOKESLAMS LEVINE OFF THE TOP ROPE THRU THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! LEVINE IS OUT COLD! Zombie is laughing devilishly and the fans are booing the shit out of him! He grabs a microphone!)
Zombie - Here's ZOMBIE!!!
(The fans are throwing stuff into the ring.)
Zombie - The obvious question to me is "why Zombie"? Why are you back here in the IWO after doing it all? Why are you back after beating each and every single star the IWO had to offer and the being the MAN in this federation for two years? The answer is as obvious as the question.
(He looks around and flips the bird.)
Zombie - IWO President Jamie Kosoy talks about ushering in the golden age, something this pathetic federation has been trying to do for the past year and a half, and he's going to do it with WHAT star headlining his federation? Sam Potright? What, are you kidding? The HIT? Fuck no! Bottom line, this federation wants me, this federation loves me, this federation NEEDS ZOMBIE and that is all that you shits in the audience need to know.
Zombie - You also might ask, why President Levine?
(EMT's are out and are loading Levine onto a stretcher to take him away. There is a huge gash on his head and his face is a literal crimson mask. His shoulder is hanging off his arm.)
Zombie - Because he's the power in this federation. And let me let everybody here know something: *I* am the power. To all you newbies who weren't around when I was the man need to get something in your heads.. I run the show. I hold the power, not anyone else. And I came back to stake my claim as the dominant power here in the IWO, and NOONE is going to be able to stop me, and trust me when I say that nobody is safe.
(The fans are throwing shit into the ring.)
Zombie - Remember IWO!!! I might not be the strongest... I might not be the fastest.. and I might not be the champion... yet... BUT DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR AND
(He holds the mic to the crowd and they say "FEAR ME!".)
Zombie - Goodnight, IWO. Your golden age has arrived.
(He drops the mic and does the crucifix, and then exits the ring. The camera feed begins to fade out..)
GP:I can not believe the night we've had. Zombie has returned, Davis is incensed with a photo of Tammy and Flyer together, and Joey Malone just tried to run down Donnie Daze in a golf cart! This night WILL not end!
JT:Well, we promised we would get official word from someone down wherever the Mysterious One is stationed, and we're going to that right now, right Parker?
GP:Yeah, we're going to be going down live to the hospital where the Mysterious One is located...
(The image cuts to a hospital, as we see reporter Busta Hymen standing there, microphone in hand.)
GP:Busta, can you get us a condition on the Mysterious One?
Busta Hymen:Sure, I've been hearing that his room has been rather quiet all day, and I've yet to actually see the Mysterious One,but everyone out there is going to see his exact condiiton, right when I open this door here.
(Busta Hymen pushes the door open, as we see the camera look at an empty bed, the covers seem to have not been used, and the room looks like an empty hospital room. However, there is one difference. The far window is opened just a crack.)
Busta Hymen:Where... Where the hell is the Mysterious One?
GP:There's... are you sure there isn't a sign of the Mysterious One Busta?
Busta Hymen:I... I don't know! I just don't know! He's not here! He's not around here!
GP:Well... that's rather odd...
GP:I guess that's the word that could be used... Fans, we've got to figure out where the Mysterious One has gone, and once we figure that, we will pass that imformation to you as well... Until then, it's time for a commercial break...
GP:Fans, tonight, Donnie Daze will have to go up against Schitzo Tod, in Tod's first actual return matchup from Japan. We don't know what to expect from Tod in this contest.
JT:Probably alot of jokes about poopsex.com along with a couple of jokes about Butt Thrilligan. He's such a homo.
GP:Not that there's anything wrong with that.
(The crowd goes silent, as the music of "Prison Sex" by Tool blasts throughout the arena. The fans hop to thier feet and give a standing ovation to Schitzo Tod, who is now standing on the stage in his penguin costume. He throws both hands up and gets a bunch of cheers from the crowd. He makes his way down the rap, where Meygon is standing in the ring.)
Meygon: Standing at 6 feet, 2 inches. He weighs in at 235 pounds. He is the Tod of Schitzodom. He is... SCCCHHHIIITTTZZZOOO TTTTOOOOODDD!!!!!
(Tod gets in the ring, as his music fades out and "Your Disease" by Saliva plays as the pyros go off for the IWO World Champion. Several boo's emancipate from the crowd, as Donnie Daze comes out to the stage with both arms up. An even louder shriek of boo's overwhelms the stadium. Donnie shrugs it off, and walks down to the ring.)
Meygon: Next up. He stands at 6 feet, 3 inches. Weighing in at 225. From Pt. Saint Lucie Flordia. He is.... MASTER OF THE DAZED AND CONFUSED... DOOOOOONNNNIIIIEEEEE DDDDAAAAZZZZEEEE!!!!
(Donnie gets in the ring where he stares down the anxious Tod. They look at each other for a moment or two, before the lights come back on and they both lock up.)
GP: Donnie Daze and Tod lock up. Donnie gains the overhand and slams Tod into the ropes. Tod comes back with a body press into the cover.
(Tod covers. 1... Kickout.)
GP: This is going to be intense, JT. Tod's going at Daze non-title.
JT: No kidding, dipshit.
JT: Just call the match.
GP: Daze stands back up, and they lock up again. Tod gains the upper hand and throws Daze to the ropes. Daze keeps on to Tod's hand. They both stop at the same time. TOD JUMPS AND LANDS A RANA ON DAZE.
JT: Wow, that was unexpected.
GP: Daze stands back up extremely fast, but Tod meets him with a drop kick. Tod runs over, and jumps on the second turnbuckle before jumping and grabing Daze by the neck. HARD DDT by Schitzo Tod to Donnie Daze.
JT: Daze looks kinda hurt. Donnie makes his way back up, but Tod is there. Tod slings Daze into the ropes. Daze comes back and lands Schitzo Tod with a closeline. Daze reaches down and pulls Tod up by his hair. He lands a punch to Tod's face. Tod goes back down. You see, GP? Daze is my hero.
GP: How can YOU have a hero? Your ever changing mind keeps you ignorant to real talent these guys have.
JT: Stop using big words.
GP: Alright. Daze goes to the turnbuckle, and jumps off the top rope. He goes for a diving closeline, but Tod grabs him by the arm in mid air and slams him to the mat, wrenching on his arm. Tod has a full arm lock on Daze.
JT: The ref is checking Daze's condition. Daze isn't tapping out. Daze pulls himself foward with his other arm, and reaches for the rope. But Tod grabs the other arm and locks it. TOD JUST LOCKED BOTH ARMS. HE PULLS BACK AND PULLS DAZE BACK FOR A SURFBOARD SUBMISSION. Daze would tap out, but noen of his arms are free.
GP: Wait, Daze is screaming. Tod let's go, and pins immediately.
(Tod covers. 1... 2... )
GP: Kickout, by Daze. Daze rolls out of the ring, and starts to leave.
(Daze leaves the ring, but Tod jumps on the turnbuckle and drops on Daze with a top rope suicida missle drop kick! Tod grabs Daze and flings him back in the ring. He continues assulting Daze with kicks to the side.)
GP: Tod punishing Daze with a series of kicks to the side. Tod's going to the ropes now!
(Tod jumps on the ropes and does a springboard bodypress to Daze. Tod then rips Daze to his feet and slings him to the ropes. Tod leapfrogs Daze, and when Donnie comes back, he nails Daze with a spinning heel kick.)
JT: Augh, that stupid Tod. Spinning Heel kicks. Ptth.
GP: Better than how you'd stand against Daze.
(Tod reaches down and pulls Donnie up. Daze lowblows Tod and hits a standing leg drop mat slam. (Fameasser.)
GP: Wow, Daze back in the game with a low-blow.
(Daze slings Tod back into the rings and nails him with a knee to the mid section. Tod rolls over grabbing his stomach. Daze kicks him hard in the side, before picking him up and planting him with a body slam.)
JT: Yes! GO DAZE... GO DAZE... GO DAZE...
Donnie Daze: Shut the hell up, JT. Don't you know no one--
(Blam! Tod nails an inverted drop toe hold. Daze goes flying backward to his back. Tod covers. 1... 2... Kickout, by Donnie Daze.)
GP: Near fall, by Schitzo Tod. Tod's really taking it to the World champion. Too bad it's non-title.
JT: Damn right it's non-title. Daze isn't going to lose, anyhow.
(Tod picks up Daze and stands him tall. Schitzo then goes to the ropes and flips over Daze grabbing his neck on the way down. Tod slams a neckbreaker on Donnie Daze.)
GP: You were saying?
JT: NICE NECKBREAKER BY SCHITZO TOD! *claps*
(Tod goes to the ropes. He goes to the top, and leaps off. Tod tries to land a double moonsault splash on Daze, but Daze moves and Tod hits the ring mat hard with a sickening thunk.)
GP: Jesus! Tod just killed himself... LOOK! TOD'S BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE! HE LANDED FACE FIRST!
(Tod brushes his index finger over his nose and see's the blood. He stands back up slowly, along with Daze. Daze throws a punch, but Tod blocks and gives Daze a spinebuster. Tod back up to the ropes, and bounces off, slamming his knee into the throat of Donnie Daze.)
GP: Standing knee drop to Donnie Daze by Schitzo Tod. Tod's punishing Daze now, extremely bad.
(Tod is on top of Daze slamming fists into the face of Daze. At one point, Tod busts open Daze's eye. Blood gushes from the wound now made in Dazes eyes. Tod gets up, but not before flicking Daze in the eye extremely hard.)
Schitzo Tod: Now whattdya say? Whore?
(Tod pulls Daze up, and cracks a fist into Daze's face. Daze comes back with a hard right of his own, laying out Tod. Daze then grabs Tod by the arms and gives him an underhook suplex. Daze grabs Tod, taking him to the top rope. Daze looks as though he's going to powerbomb Tod to the mat, he hooks Tod's head between his legs.)
GP: This looks like it's going to be painful for Tod.
(Schitzo Tod immediately slams his head to the groin of Donnie Daze. He pulls himself from the powerbomb position, and pulls Daze between his legs. He then plants a piledriver ON THE TOP ROPE. The top rope snaps and Daze's chest catches on the metal turnbuckle pole, pulling off some skin.)
GP: OH MY GOD.
JT: That was...
(Tod picks up Daze from the mat and slams him back down with a German suplex. Tod then goes out of the ring and into the crowd.)
GP: Where is Tod going?
JT: Who knows? Who cares?
(Tod comes back with a box of popcorn. He dumps all the popcorn out and grabs the salt from the bottom of the bag in his hand. He spits on his hand, and mixes the saliva together. He then rubs it on the open wound on Daze's chest. Daze starts screaming in pain.)
GP: Dude, that's like... Gotta hurt and stuff.
JT: No shit, GP. Who taught you in Pain 101?
GP: Mr. Lindum.
JT: I had him for seventh period study hall in high school!
GP: I was kidding.
(Daze hops up to his feet, and slams a fist down on Tod. He slams another one, and another. Tod falls to the ground, and Daze slams a foot down on him. Daze then picks him up, and hooks him for a facebuster. He lands it and Tod falls to the mat.)
GP: Looks like trouble for Tod.
(Daze pulls up Tod, and grabs him by the neck, lifting him up for a chokeslam. But Tod begins to slam kicks in Daze's face. Daze lets go, but Tod remains suspended in air. Schitzo Tod begins to bicycle kick Daze repeatedly in the face. Until he flies out of the ring.)
JT: Woah, did you see that?
GP: Looks like something off the matrix.
(Tod hops out of the ring, and starts to run at Daze. He picks up speed, and picks up speed. Daze looks frightened, and Schitzo Tod passes right through Donnie, and stops behind him. Daze turns around and Tod leaps up in the air, before landing a kick to the face of Donnie Daze.)
GP: ... I really, really don't believe that.
JT: Neither do I, but I have to admit. It was much cooler than the Matrix itself.
GP: For once we agree.
(Tod grabs Daze and throws him back in the ring. Daze leaps to his feet, and looks at Tod.)
Schitzo Tod: I know Kung-Foo Wrestling Maniac Schitzophrenic Cool Stuff.
Donnie Daze: Prove it.
(A split second later Tod is behind Daze, arm pulled backward, repeatedly kicking Daze in the back.)
Donnie Daze: You're just kicking me in the... OW... the... OWWW... THE BACK!
Schitzo Tod: THERE IS NO SPOON, BITCH. THERE IISSS NOOOO SPPOOOONNN!
(Daze pulls his arm out, and turns around to Tod who's standing there laughing at Donnie. Donnie reaches foward and grabs Tod by the neck. Tod kicks Daze in the stomach hard, and he flies to the outside. Tod follows.)
GP: This is way crazy. I think Donnie's up to his ears in trouble.
(Daze reaches under the ring and begins to fling random objects like chairs, and TV monitors, and buckets at Tod. Tod leans back further and futher to avoid the peices of metal, but before he knows it, Daze is standing over Tod's laid back body, and gives him a hard leg drop over the neck onto the concrete floor.)
Donnie Daze: That'll teach you.
(Daze slings Tod back into the ring, and follows. He picks Tod up and slams him back down to the mat with a full nelson drop. Daze then picks up Tod with one arm and walks foward a few before slamming him back down with a
sidewalk slam. Daze covers. 1... 2... Kickout, by Schitzo Tod.)
GP: Near fall, I don't know how Donnie's walking with that last part that Tod just played on him.
JT: I'm surpised Daze is moving at all.
(Daze picks up Tod, and slings him into the ropes. Daze boots Tod in the face, then slams a fist into the chest of Schitzo Tod.)
JT: Tod's taking some punishment, the bitch. I hope he dies.
GP: Uhh. You're stupid, JT.
(Daze picks Tod back up and pulls him back down with an Arm Drag Takedown. Daze wrenches on the arm hard. But Tod won't give up, he stands back to his feet, and kicks Daze hard in the gut. Daze bends over, as Tod stares at Donnie intently.)
GP: What a look Tod has on his face. WAIT. HE'S HYPNOTISING DAZE! OH GOD!
Schitzo Tod: STOP PLAYING LIKE YOU'RE HURTING, and plug your nose, Daze. And cover your ear. That's right. Do it, and walk around.
(Donnie does so, and with Tod laughing hystarically.)
Schitzo Tod: Now, I want you to STOP, AND DO THE MACARENA! DO IT!
(Donnie does the Macarena over and over again, until he Tod lets out a shriek. A "War Cry" and stomps hard on Donnie's shin!)
GP: Tod Annihilation Maneuver!!!! TAM!!! TAM!!!
(Donnie bends over and grabs his shin, which is bleeding from the kick that Tod just gave it. Donnie looks up, but Tod has placed Donnies arm around his neck! Tod is about to do a vertical suplex to Donnie! But Donnie reverses it into a cradle DDT.... DAZED AND CONFUSED!)
JT: DAZED AND CONFUSED! HOLY SHIT, YES! DAZED AND CONFUSED, DAMMIT! GO DONNIE!
GP: MY GOD!
(Donnie Daze covers... 1... 2... DAZE BEGINS TO HOVER OVER TOD!)
GP: This match continues to get weirder and weirder.
(Donnie floats back, and Tod stands straight up without even moving a muscle. Tod grabs his collar of his shirt, and twists his neck around until it cracks. He then double roundhouse kicks Daze, sending him to the mat. Tod jumps in the air, he continues to leap, and suspends in mid air before bringing his leg down to a leg drop.)
GP: OH MY GOD! TOD COVERS! TOD COVERS!
(1... 2... Donnie moves...)
Schitzo Tod: Stop...
GP: Schitzo Tod WINS! SCHITZO TOD WINS!
("Prison Sex" by Tool plays as Tod goes to a turnbuckle and celebrates. Tod immediatly leaves the ring, almost jumping for joy-like. Joey Malone is shown at the top of the entrance-rampway as he is shown, actually laughing at Daze and his failure. Daze begins to throw a fit into the ring, stomping around, and tugging at the top rope like a mad-man. The camera pans to a picture of Daze, his face beaten and dejected, but angry none-the-less.)
GP:IN A NIGHT WHERE SCHITZO TOD BEATS DAZE, ZOMBIE RETURNS AND LANDS PRESIDENT LEVINE IN THE HOSPITAL, AND MALONE CHASES DOWN DAZE WITH A GOLF CART, THERE IS NOTHING BUT CRAZINESS BOUND TO HAPPEN! FOR JT, AND FOR THE RECOVERING NIKKI, I'M GREG PARKER!
JT:And I like to type in all caps...
GP:Shut up JT...