(The scene fades to the arena entrance. Schitzo Tod wearing a richard Nixon mask walks up tot he guard.) |
Guard: May I help you?
Tod Wearing Richard Nixon Mask: Yes, I'd like to get into the arena... My name is Kosoy... Garret Kosoy.
Guard: Um... No.
Garret Kosoy: What are you talking about?! Look at my face, I am a Kosoy!
Guard: First off you are wearing a Richard Nixon mask... Second... Garret Kosoy is a little kid...
Garret Kosoy: How dare you!
Guard: Look sir, you cannot enter without clearence. See this pass that I am taking off my neck to show you? This is what you need. Now, you are just some dude in a Nixon mask and I'm going to have to arrest you.
Garret Kosoy: Well... The thing about that is... YOINK! (graps badge) RUN AWAY!!!!
(Tod runs into the arena, the guards looks dumbfounded. We fade completely out to blackness. We hear a small heartbeat, as we see an actual heart beating on the screen. It beats rather slowly at first, and then gradually build up it's beats until it somes to full throttle. We see is all of a sudden stop, and lying in the midst of the screen, as we see a huge lightning bolt come down from the upper left, bursting the heart into pieces, and revealing the IWO Logo.
"Jenny Says" by Cowboy Mouth plays softly in the background, as we see the events of Monday Night Meltdown, replayed on the screen. We can see President Evan firing Tod, just his mouth moving, and Tod not backing down. We see Syphon Fission holding the World title, as a faded image is shown of Ben O'Connor counting down Seaman's Shoulders. Slowly we fade inside the arena.
"Father's Eyes" by [minus] is heard over the pa system, as we see pyro, fans, and signs. Yeah, it looks really cool because there's lot of people there, and it's probably a fire hazard. We fade into the announce booth, seeing none other than Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki.)
GP:WELCOME TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!
(All of a sudden, a firework comes out of nowhere and catches JT in the face. It explodes in his face, as he falls down. His clothes caught in a blaze.)
Nikki:STOP DROP AND ROLL JT!
JT:I'M ALREADY DOWN YOU BITCH!
(Nikki goes over and smacks JT, which puts JT's fire out, however catches Nikki's arm on fire.)
GP:It's going to be one hell of a long night.
(Nikki frantically waves around her arm, trying to put out the fire that JT once had. JT gets to his feet, a little burnt, and laughs.)
JT:Haha, you're on fire and stuff.
(Nikki slaps JT with the ablazed arm, as Greg Parker hits both people with a fire extinquisher.)
Nikki & JT:Thanks Greg.
(Nikki gets composure, and begins to whip away the sut and ashes that the fire caused.)
Nikki:So, what's in store Greggy Pay?
JT:Yeah Greg, you seem to be the only sane one.
GP:Well, I was the only one who wasn't lit on fire.
JT:Oh boy, that'll change before the end of the night.
GP:Is that a threat Mr. JT?
JT:It would be if I didn't have first degree burns right about now.
(JT begins trying to treat himself, as Parker and the rest of the announce team sit. The rest being Nikki of course :0)
GP:With that said...
(Suddenly, Stupify by Disturbed plays over the speakers. The fans are
puzzled, as are the announcers. )
JT: What the?
GP: Somebody is coming out.
(From the back comes, Carmen Jackson, Syphon Fission's former valet. She looks bloated. She is holding her stomach as she makes her way to the ring.)
GP: Carmen Jackson? I thought she left!
Nikki: What the hell happened to her, did she eat too many snack cakes?
(She gets in the ring, and has a microphone. She tries to silence the fans.)
Carmen: Please everyone, I must ask for your complete silence.
(The fans decide to pipe it down a little bit.)
Carmen: Thank you. Anyway, as many of you might remember, Syphon and myself were lovers. But, we broke off. Now, since I have been trying to get a hold of him but been unsuccessful, I think it is time to spread the good
GP: What the?
(Carmen's face lights up as she speaks.)
Carmen: I am pregnant with Syphon's baby! I have been for eight months! And soon, he will be a father!
(The fans start to boo, for a reason I can not remember.)
Carmen: No, what is wrong. I am so happy! I can not believe that we will finally be together,
(Suddenly, "Cosmonaut" by At The Drive In blares over the speakers. The fans are puzzled, until they see Syphon's IWO-Tron video play over the IWO-Tron. Syphon walks out in his normal attire with the World Title over his shoulder. His face is puzzled.)
GP: It looks as if he does not agree. This could turn ugly real fast.
(Syphon gets in the ring as the people go loud and start chanting his name. A microphone in hand, he begins to talk to Carmen.)
Syphon: I have something to ask you, HOW IN THE HELL IS THAT MY CHILD?
Carmen: I just have a feeling,
Syphon: Have you had blood tests? Have you any proof that the baby is mine?
Syphon: Then why are you making outlandish statements? Why? You should have told me!
(Carmen's face becomes angry as she starts to yell.)
Carmen: I TRIED TO GET A HOLD OF YOU! YOU WERE NEVER THERE!
(She is getting into Syphon's face and yells some more.)
Carmen: THAT LITTLE TRAMP, QUINN MORGAN, SHE BRAINWASHED YOU! SHE MADE YOU FORGET ABOUT ME! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! THIS BABY IS OURS! WE SHOULD BE HAPPY TOGETHER!
(Syphon, not liking this, decides to yell right back.)
Syphon: THAT KID IS NOT MINE! IT NEVER WAS! YOU WERE ALWAYS KNOCKING ME DOWN! YOU SEEM TO THINK I SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT YOUR HAVING A BABY! I HAVE NO PROBLEM, BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS NOT MINE!
Carmen: IT DAMN WELL IS!
Syphon: Look, I am not going to take this from...
("I Am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie blares over the speakers as the fans begin to boo. Syphon's head shoots toward the entrance ramp, as does Carmen. Evan Levine walks out in a business suit, microphone in hand.)
Evan: Well, isn't this cute. Two honest to god pieces of gullible shit decide to take time up on my show. Syphon, get the hell off my stage!
Syphon: This does not concern dyslexic jackasses suck as yourself Evan. Why don't you go into the back, crawl into some hole, and die!
(The fans cheer the thought of no Evan. He just smirks and walks down the ramp.)
Evan: See, I think it is time to get your ass kicked. And I have tried a lot of things to get the World Title off you. But I have learned that you can not send boys to do a man's job. It's time you got the ass kicking you have
deserved for a long, long time!
(Syphon begins to laugh.)
Syphon: Evan, we fought once, and it consisted of me kicking your ass for a hearty twenty minutes. You make me laugh, but if you want some, come get yourself some!
(Evan gets in the ring.)
Evan: Syphon, do you really think that you can beat a former two time IWO world champ, a Hall of Famer, AND YOUR BOSS?!?!?
Syphon: Beat,no... DESTROY!?! YES!
[Evan and Syphon get face to face, each looking into one another's eyes, hatred burning.]
GP: IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!
JT: HA, Evan will SO kick his ass! He's a IWO Legend!
[Staring down one another Syphon and Evan remain deadlocked on each other. Then as the fans are going nuts, as Evan spits right in the face of Syphon who right away goes to town on Evan]
Nikki: HERE WE GO!!!
GP: Left, right, left, right! Syphon has Evan in the corner. Syphon gets ready to send Evan into the other corner..
JT: NO!!! Evan turns it around and now Syphon is in the corner...and Evan is going nuts on him. HES STOMPING A MUD HOLE IN HIS STOMACH!!!
Nikki: Thank you JR!
JT: Blow me!
JT: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Nikki: Trash mouth!
GP: Evan is going to kill Syphon!!! He is beating the holy Hell out of him!
[As Evan continues to kick Syphon in the corner, Carmen runs over and jumps on Evan's back]
GP: Is she nuts?
[Pulling on Evan's hair she gets Evan away from Syphon and into the middle of the ring. Evan with a pissed off look pulls her off by flipping her over his back]
GP: MY GOD SHE'S A WOMAN EVAN!!!!
[Pissed off at Carmen and with Syphon out in the corner Evan looks at Carmen lieing there in the middle of the ring. Evan smiles at her as he picks her up and starts to scream in her face.]
Evan: YOU WANT TO WALK INTO MY RING!!! AND TAKE MY AIR TIME FROM MY SHOW TO ANNOUNCE SHIT LIKE THAT.... WELL FUCK YOU!
[Evan pulls Carmen under his arm and hits, Conceptual Profection!!!!!!]
GP: NO, MY GOD!!!
Nikki: OH NO!!
JT: HOLY SHIT!
[The fans start tossing trash in the ring and giving major heat to Evan as Carmen lays on the ground in great pain screaming all while holding her stomach.]
GP: THERES SOMETHING WRONG, GET THE EMTS DOWN HERE NOW!
[As Evan stands over Carmen smiling Syphon gets up and spears Evan and the two get back into it]
Nikki: MY GOD SYPHON!!! Help Carmen!!!!!!
[Syphon, beating the crap out of Evan, stands him up and sends him into the ropes, but Evan grabs the rops and slides under escaping from Syphon. As the two stare each other down Syphon looks over to Carmen and screams for EMTS as she falls to her side.]
GP: My god fans...this announcer has no words to explain what just went down here.
JT: I got one word.......Inhuman.
[ EMTS run out from the back as the fans are all silent. Evan standing at the top of the stage looks on as they load Carmen on the cart.]
GP: Just think whats going though the mind of Syphon.
JT: A moment of relief?
Nikki: That wasn't even called for JT.
[The camera focuses on Evan as he starts to smile and laugh at whats going on. He then leaves as the EMTS and Syphon run up the ramp to the back]
GP: Fans we need to take a break. Will be right back
[Cuts to a BHBB3 Promo, and then a commercial.]
[The show comes back on the air with a shot of Carmen getting put into the back of the meat wagon and Syphon getting in there with him. Then all of a sudden, Quinn comes running out.]
Quinn: SYPHON WHERE YOU GOING?!?!
Syphon: I need to be with Carmen right now, stay here I'll call from the hospital!
Quinn: Shes not your responsibilty any more, come on baby, please stay here!
Syphon: No... I can't. I'll explain later, just go back to the room and don't let anyone in, UNDERSTAND ME! NO ONE!!
Quinn: But Syphon.........
Syphon: NO ONE IN!!!!!
[Syphon shuts the door as the ambulence pulls out of the building with Quinn standing there. Then all of a sudden, Evan walks onto the camera and stands behind Quinn as we cut back to the ring]
GP:Well folks, I'd like to welcome you all back from the commercial Break, as we are just about ready to have our first battle royal!
JT:That's right, the "Fish Bulb" team will do battle, with one of the 15 or so men going on for a shot at Ten Thousand dollars and a Shot at Syphon Fission!
Nikki:That's right JT.
JT:Yeah, 10,000 dollars could get a hell of a lot of blow jobs, right Nikki?
JT:I live for that noise.
GP:Guys, I think it's time we get down to the ring. I mean, there are 15 people, it'll be a hell announcing everyone.
JT:Let's just load everyone into a balloon and drop them from a cliff. The survivor wins and gets his shot at getting a World Title shot.
GP:But what if there were more than one survivor?
JT:Oh, there wouldn't be.
GP:And why would the IWO want to kill all but two of it's wrestlers?
JT:Hey! I didn't say my ideas were thought through at all, but it's better than whatever YOU suggested Mr. "Let's have them play Pin the Tail on the donkey" Parker!
GP:I never said that JT, now you're just making things up.
JT:No, seriously, I have it recorded. Remember the meeting we went to?
(We hear an audio tape played, as it seems to be Greg Parker's voice.)
GP:Well, we could have them all play pin the tail on the donkey, that would be cool. I used to rock at that game.
(A click is heard, as a struggle ensues.)
GP:Give me that tape JT before I strangle you with my bare hands!
Nikki:GUYS! We're on television, and you just took up five minutes.
JT:Is that good or bad?
(Nikki slaps her own forehead, as we fade into the ring. The ring today is shaped much like a heart, however there's a break in the middle, but not all the way down to the bottom. It's a rather cool looking ring, as Meygon stands, straddeling the two pieces of the heart. She, of course, is wearing bright red edible underwear, barely covering her body and making her beautiful curves bounce pratically out onto the screen with full emotion. She has her microphone in her hand, which she seems to be using as a sexual suggesstion, if you catch my drift.)
Meygon:Oh... we're on. Anyway, guys, I would like to introduce to you fifteen or sixteen wrestlers that will fight each other, sweat, bleed, and turn you female fans on, just for a shot at the World Championship. Introducing first, from Los Angelos, California... here is Simon Seaman!
("Feels so Good" by Mase hits the pa system as Simon Seaman walks out, United States Title around his waist.)
Meygon:Introducing next, from Chicago, Illinois, here is Jax Stone!
("Get on Top" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers hits the pa system as out from the back walks Jax Stone. Jax gets into the ring and stares at Simon Seaman.)
Meygon:Introducing Next, from Pittsburgh, PA, here is Billy Ray!
("Family Traditions" by Hank Williams Jr. hits the pa system as Billy Ray walks out from the back, holding a beer bottle in his hand. He makes his way into the ring. We fade out to a commercial Break.)
(Returning from the commercial Break, we see many of the superstars in the ring, all surrounding Meygon, and all inside the capacity of this Heart-shaped ring. The only man who doesn't seem to be in the ring is the one member from Franks and Beans.)
GP:Well, it seems like we're a wrestler short right about now...
("Why do Birds Suddenly Appear" by the Carpenters hits the pa system, as the fans immediatly get to their feet cheering.)
JT:You... you don't think...
Meygon:And the final participant, hailing from where the money runs short, and birds bombard you with their droppings... here is the MYSTERIOUS BIRDMAN! 0¿0!
(The Birdman walks out from the back, wearing his customary bird costume. He makes his way to the ring, as the fans are cheering like hell.)
GP:THE BIRDMAN IS BACK!
JT:I TOLD YOU TONIGHT WAS GOING TO BE INSANE GREG, BUT NO! YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!
(The Birdman climbs into the ring, as immediatly all 15 or so men just go at each other.)
**Ding, ding, ding**
GP:They didn't even wait for the bell to ring! It's like chaotic!
JT:It's Hardcore Trivia Pursuit Greg, and I've got the Hourglass!
GP:What the hell are you talking about?
(We see a split screen, trying to cover as much action as possible. Dane Matthews has immediatly gone over to Donnie Daze, as they hammer one another with right hands repeatedly. On the other side, we see O' Connor and Seaman battling it out, as Seaman catches O'Connor in the eyes.)
Nikki:These four men will battle each other at the Pay Per View, Broken Hearts, Broken Bones, but they don't want to wait that long!
(We see Seaman clotheslining O'Connor down to the mat, as the other split screen shows Jax Stone coming out of nowhere, kicking Daze in the gut, and going for his patented Droped Like a Stone, but Daze just rips his head upward, causing Stone to fly off his feet, and down to the mat.)
GP:Early counter by Daze on Jax Stone, Matthews grabs Daze from behind and locks him in a full nelson though!
(We see Erik Blake and Sephiyra Reign battling it out on another split screen, as then another switches view. We see Gerrard Heart, a returning Gerrard Heart, up on the shoulders of the Mysterious Birdman.)
JT:Birdman's going to eliminate Heart! This early! Both of these men recently made their IWO comebacks, I think as early as this match, and Birdman could have the advantage on Heart!
GP:Heart's fighting it though, he's trying to hang on for his life, for his shot at the World title!
JT:Look! It's Ben Archer! Out of nowhere! Archer just flipped both the Birdman and Gerrard Heart up and over the top!
Nikki:Archer thinks he's just won something, but he doesn't realize that the Birdman didn't fall to the ground on the outside!
Meygon:Eliminated, Gerrard Heart!
GP:Heart's the only one that was eliminated, as the Birdman slides back in. The Birdman turns Archer around, SHADES OF JACK NIGHT! THE CAVITY SEARCH ON BEN ARCHER! BEN ARCHER IS GASPING FOR AIR!
JT:Tod, with that Richard Nixon mask of his, he goes right after Jeff King! NO! They hug! What the?
(Tod and Jeff King head over, but Sephiyra Reign stops them in their tracks. He takes a shot at King, as Tod helps King out. Tod and King lift Reign up, and then drop him down into a flapjack type move.)
GP:This ring is cluttered with people, it's chaotic!
(We cut over to Matthews, Stone, and Daze, as Daze has just been pounded by Stone and Matthews with rights. All of a sudden, Daze low blows Matthews, and grabs Stone.)
GP:FURTHER PARALYSIS! THE CRADLE DDT! HE JUST LAID OUT JAX STONE!
JT:Matthews back together, he grabs Daze from behind... DOWNTOWN EXPLOSION!
Nikki:Dear god! Daze and Stone are laid out, Matthews is trying to realize where he is...
(Erik Blake comes out of nowhere, and attempts to throw out Matthews, but Matthews holds on. Matthews kicks Blake in the gut, and attempts to throw him out as well. They both don't work well at all.)
GP:Ryan Remedy comes out of nowhere, and MATTHEWS AND BLAKE BOTH SEND REMEDY UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Meygon:Eliminated, Ryan Remedy!
(The camera zooms in on Remedy, who seems to be clutching his knee.)
GP:This doesn't look good at all for Remedy, we'll help him back to the back, but we've got fast paced action going on in the ring!
JT:LiGiL, first time we meantioned that name, is battling it out with Billy Ray. They're hammering one another, as Ray gets in a nice clean shot.
(Ray walks over to the upper part of the heart, and grabs something that was sitting there. It's a beer bottle, as he goes to smack it over LiGiL's head. However, all of a sudden, we hear "Smoke 2 Joints" by Sublime hit the pa system. Cheno comes racing out from the crowd!)
GP:EDDIE CHENO! CHENO GRABS THE BOTTLE OUT OF RAY'S HAND! Ray can't believe it, as Cheno SMASHES IT OVER RAY'S HEAD! RAY'S DOWN! RAY'S DOWN!
JT:CHENO OUT OF NOWHERE! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!
Nikki:Ray is back up! He doesn't know where he is, Jeff King grabs Ray, and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP! BILLY RAY, THE DRUNKEN BASTARD IS OUT!
Meygon:Eliminated, Billy Ray.
GP:Ray is gone! Three are down, 12 are left! Jeff King looks at his work, as LiGiL catches King from behind with a huge clothesline! King falls down to the mat hard, as LiGiL begins to stomp away at him.
JT:O'Connor and Seaman seemed to be paired at the hip, as we can see them battling it out at the bottom of the heart-shaped ring. O'Connor is hammering Seaman with rights, causing Seaman to begin to be realing. Seaman however ducks a right, which sends O'Connor into the corner! And now Seaman unloads with punishing right hands!
(The camera switches over to see Tod. He just kind of flips over the top rope, and lands on the ground.)
GP:What the hell did Tod just do!
JT:The hell if I know, Tod's one hell of a dumbass.
(Tod is shown grabbing the ring bell, as he slides back into the ring. He knocks down LiGiL with the bell, and immediatly goes to town on LiGiL once more.)
JT:GET HIM OUT OF THERE! HE'S OUT! He's not in the match anymore!
GP:I don't have a clue what's going on here. Tod just left the ring, and came back to do some more punishment? I'm lost.
(Referees begin to come down to the ring, as Tod catches Matthews with the bell as well. The referees climb in, and pull Tod out of the ring.)
JT:Haha, Richard Nixon is being pulled away from the ring and thrown in cuffs. It's SO fitting.
GP:JT! You're talking about the deceased! Show SOME respect.
JT:But I'm not a crook!
GP:Shut up, that was pretty lame.
Nikki:Yeah, I'd think better of you.
GP:Fans, we've got to head to a commercial Break, we'll be back, and we'll try not to have you lose anything.
(We see Billy Ray and Cheno fighting to the back now, as the camera slowly fades out to a commercial Break)
(We fade back into Hostile Takeover, as we see the brawl inside the ring.)
GP:Fans, you didn't miss much during the commercial break, but you did miss a crucial elimination, as one of the favorites, LiGiL, was thrown over the top by none other than Donnie Daze...
(The camera shows a split screen, as we see Daze hitting LiGiL with a superkick, causing LiGiL to fly over the top, and down to the outside.)
GP:LiGiL was eliminated during the break, and therefore, we're down to Donnie Daze, Dane Matthews, Jax Stone, Kevin Martin, Sephiyra Reign, Erik Blake, Ben Archer, Simon Seaman, Ben O'Connor, the Mysterious Birdman, and Jeff King.
JT:LiGiL! He was a favorite! He almost was my pick to win this thing!
GP:What is your pick JT?
JT:My pick? Oh, that was easy. I'd say Jax Stone, but now we've got the Birdman back, I'm not sure. One of the two, I know that for sure.
(We fade into a split screen, as we see Matthews and Stone pounding away at one another. On the other side, as see Reign hooking Blake and throwing him down with a huge DDT.)
Nikki:Massive move, especially considering the moveability inside that ring, it's damn tough.
(We split over to another screen, as we see Ben O'Connor charging Simon Seaman. Seaman ducks, and back body drops O'Connor over the top.)
GP:O'CONNOR! NO! He fell on the apron! He grabs Seaman, and he's trying to suplex Seaman invertedly over the top!
JT:Seaman's fighting it, he's not going down with out a fight!
(Seaman wriggles free, and catches O'Connor in the gut. Ben Archer comes out of nowhere, and goes for a drop kick, but O'Connor drops down onto the apron, avoiding the blow. Seaman comes flying, and baseball slides O'Connor off the apron.)
Meygon:Eliminated, Ben O'Connor!
GP:O'Connor's gone, via Simon Seaman, and you obviously know that that will just add flames to the fire of this war they are entrenched in.
(O'Connor heads to the back, as Seaman turns around. He recieves a vicious kick to the face by Erik Blake.)
GP:Dear god! Seaman could have just lost a tooth!
JT:Lost a tooth? I think he just ate one!
(Daze and Matthews are shown going at it, right hands towards one another, as Stone comes back, and catches Matthews with a huge inverted DDT.)
GP:Jeez, these three men have just been beating the hell out of one another!
JT:What the hell?!?
(The camera turns over to the Mysterious Birdman, as he seems to have lost a feather.)
JT:This isn't good.
(The Birdman immedatly goes after Archer, as he clotheslines Archer down to the mat.)
JT:FEATHERLINE BY THE BIRDMAN!
GP:What the hell is going on.
(The Birdman comes over and knocks Blake down with a huge right hand. He hammers Seaman back down to the mat, as he does the same to Donnie Daze.)
Nikki:The Birdman's tearing it up in there, but just because he lost a feather from his costume...
GP:Jeff King goes to silence the Birdman, but the Birdman catches him.... MYSTERIOUS BIRD DRIVER! JEFF KING POPS UP WOBBLY AS HELL! FEATHER-LINE AS JT WOULD SAY! JEFF KING IS GONE!
Meygon:Eliminated, Jeff King!
(Kevin Martin is shown, as he seems to be reading a book on Ghost hunting.)
Kevin Martin:Damnit, I should have done THAT before Conspiracy Theory... Oh well.
(All of a sudden, the Birdman climbs up into the face of Kevin Martin. Martin clocks the Birdman with the book, knocking him down to the canvas.)
GP:Martin just silenced the reign of terror by the Mysterious Birdman, as Martin grabs the Birdman off the canvas. Martin throws the Birdman into the curved ropes, as the Birdman bounces off, and Martin knocks him back down with a huge dropkick!
JT:COME ON BIRDMAN!
(Stone is shown trying to regain his breath, as Erik Blake walks into him. Blake turns around, and is met by a kick to the gut from Jax. Jax leaps up, and nails him...)
GP:DROPPED LIKE A STONE! DROPPED LIKE A STONE! ERIK BLAKE WAS JUST DROPPED LIKE A FREAKIN' STONE!
JT:I think we get the picture there Greggy.
Nikki:Archer comes up from behind Stone, and grabs him into a Full Nelson, and Slams him forewards, reverse Russian Leg Sweep Style!
(Archer seems to be very confident as he gets to his feet. Daze grabs Archer from behind, and nails...)
GP:DAZED AND CONFUSED! ARCHER JUST FELT DAZED AND CONFUSED, AND HE'S DAMN SURE DAZED AND CONFUSED RIGHT ABOUT NOW!
JT:Not this again..
GP:Archer is wobbly, as Daze with a HUGE dropkick sends Archer UP and over the top rope! Dear god!
Meygon:Eliminated, BEN ARCHER!!
GP:Archer, a talented rookie, has been eliminated, but he's obviously not taking this too well...
(Archer climbs up onto the apron, and begins to shout at the people still in the ring. Reign comes over to hit Archer, as Archer ducks the blow. Simon Seaman charges and clotheslines Reign up and over the top rope.)
GP:ARCHER HELPED ELIMINATED SEPHIYRA REIGN! WHAT IN THE HELL!?!?
Meygon:Eliminated, SEPHIYRA REIGN!
JT:Reign is up, and he isn't happy at all! He's shoving Archer, and they are just fighting tooth and nail on the outside right now!
Nikki:Here come the Zebra's to break it up, it's CRAZY out there!
GP:AND IT'S CRAZY INSIDE! DAZE WITH A MISSLE DROPKICK KNOCKING DANE MATTHEWS DOWN TO THE MAT!
JT:K-Mart is back up, as he has that book still with him. Erik Blake up to his feet, and K-MART JUST CLOCKED HIM WITH THAT BOOK! BLAKE BACKS UP AND FLIES UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Meygon:Eliminated, Erik Blake!
GP:We're down to Kevin Martin, Jax Stone, Donnie Daze, Dane Matthews, Simon Seaman, and the Mysterious Birdman!
JT:One of these six men will have a shot at getting a shot to become World Champion!
GP:And each of these men are alone, staring at one another. The tension is like a hot knife cutting through butter, each man wanting what another wants.
JT:Martin charges at Seaman, Daze goes right for Matthews, as Stone and Birdman hook up.
Nikki:Now it's like three one on one matches!
JT:Good work Nikki, now tell me how many fingers I'm holding up.
JT:AH! YOU BROKE MY MIDDLE FINGER YOU BITCH!
(Seaman hooks Martin and Bodyslams him down. Seaman climbs up to the top, and delieves a leg drop. We see Stone and the Birdman battling, as the Birdman goes for the Mysterious Bird Driver, however Stone wriggles free. Stone back body drops the Birdman, who lands inside the ring.)
GP:Almost eliminated the Birdman, as if Stone had a different angle, the Birdman WOULD be gone right now.
JT:But he didn't, so my pick's still in there... Ow, Nikki, that really hurt!
(We fade over, as we see Martin having the advantage over Seaman. Martin looks to be hitting Seaman with a powerbomb, but Martin keeps running!)
GP:Martin's going to powerbomb Seaman over the top, but Seaman gets out of the grasp of Martin! Martin turns around, kick to the gut by Seaman, as Seaman delievers a BEAUTIFUL vertical suplex!
(Seaman grabs Martin, and begins to hammer at him with right hands. Martin tries to hammer back, and then delievers a kick to the gut, and then one to the face, sending Seaman down to the mat.)
GP:Wait! The Birdman grabs Kevin Martin from behind, and he THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING! DEAR GOD!
(Parker and the announce team vacate the scene, as Martin flies through the announce table.)
GP:MARTIN JUST TOOK FLIGHT FROM THE BIRDMAN! DEAR GOD! WHAT AN ELIMINATION!
Meygon:Eliminated, "K-Mart" Kevin Martin!
JT:He's the Birdman I tell'z Ya!
Nikki:Seaman is back up, and he's resting in the corner, the Birdman turns around, as we see Matthews attempting to hit him with the Downtown Explosion! The Birdman caught him, but Seaman comes out of nowhere! He almost eliminated the Birdman...
(Seaman tackles the Birdman into the ropes, as Stone reaches underneath, and goes to eliminate both men. Seaman flies over the top first, as the Birdman flies over, and lands on the apron.)
Meygon:Eliminated, Simon Seaman!
GP:SEAMAN'S GONE! AND THE BIRDMAN IS ALMOST GONE!
JT:NO! COME ON! GET BACK IN!
Nikki:NO! Jax kicks Birdman in the head, as the Birdman falls off the apron!
Meygon:Eliminated, The Mysterious Birdman!
GP:Dear god! We're down to Jax Stone, Dane Matthews, and Donnie Daze! All three of these men hate each other, as Matthews and Daze are battling it out in the other side.
(Stone walks over, and smacks their heads together. Daze falls down, as Matthews wobbles around. Stone goes after Matthews, but Matthews ducks out of the way, and catches Stone in the back of the head with an elbow shot. Stone falls to his knees, as Matthews kicks Stone square in the head.)
JT:VICIOUS! DAMN! I pick Matthews, I think he's the most fresh out of everyone!
GP:Matthews grabs Stone up, and goes for a tilt-a-whirl piledriver, but Stone counters! Stone turns it into a piledriver of his own!
JT:Nice move by Stone. Jax going for desperation, as he's definitly tired. Daze is back to his feet, as he catches Stone from behind, DONNIE DROP! JAX'S HEAD JUST BOUNCED OFF THE MAT!
GP:Jax is back to his feet, and he doesn't know, and DAZE ELIMINATES STONE! DAZE ELIMINATES STONE!
Meygon:Elimination, JAX STONE!
JT:Daze is celebrating! He's down on his feet, doing his custom taunt! NO! MATTHEWS GRABS DAZE FROM BEHIND AND TOSSES HIM OVER! DAZE FLIES OVER THE TOP, AND DOWN TO THE OUTSIDE!
GP:Wait! The referee was busy with Jax! Jax climbed up on to the apron, and was trying to get at Matthews! He didn't even see him! What in same hell! Daze slides back in, and THROWS MATTHEWS OUT!!! WHAT THE HELL!
**Ding, ding, ding**
Meygon:Eliminated... Dane Matthews. Your winner... DONNIE DAZE!
JT:WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?
GP:I have no idea JT, I have no idea!
(Scene opens up in Jax Stone's locker room. Keri is still tied and gagged, while Jax Stone is talking to Mike Marchese.)
Jax Stone: Mike.
Mike Marchese: Yeah, Jax?
Jax Stone: Keep an eye on her while I go kick her fucking boyfriend's ass, will you? If you let her out of your site, my fucking fist is gonna be buried in your fuckin' face.
Mike Marchese: Eeep! Alright, alright!
(Jax leaves. The guy in the trenchcoat shows back up.)
Guy in Trenchcoat: He's a meaniehead.
Mike Marchese: Yes, Skip. He is. But I don't want him to hurt me. :-(
[The scene cuts to the back were we see a phone ringng. A hand picks it up as we hear Syphon's voice.]
Syphon: Quinn, you ok?
Voice: Uh huh.
Syphon: Good,but well, the baby died from complications. The docters said that the hard hit to her from Evan killed the baby.
Voice: Good, I'm glad that damn thing is dead!
Syphon: WHAT?!?! Quinn thats my baby were talking about, it's a life and Evan killed it!
Voice: And I couldn't have done any better!
Syphon: Quinn, my god how can you be....
[The phone is hung up as the camera pans up to see Discord standing over the phone with a smile on her face. The camera pans around her to show Evan standing in the back with Quinn all tired up.]
Evan: Good work baby, now get the trap ready. He'll be rushing back to see whats wrong.
Discord: Right away baby!
Evan: HAHAHAHA you said baby, LIKE THAT DEAD ONE!!!
[The scene dies out with both Discord and Evan laughing as the camera gets a close up of Quinn with tears coming from her eyes]
(We fade into President Evan's office, as no one seems to be there. Eddie Cheno comes bursting in, bong in hand.)
Eddie Cheno:YO MANG!
Eddie Cheno:Mang?!? Ev-Mang? Where da Funk you be dawg?
(President Levine comes out from a back room.)
President Levine:Oh, it's you. What the hell do you want, I'm a very busy man.
Eddie Cheno:I wanna fight mang! I wanna HIT Ray mang! Ray is pissin' me da funk off.
President Levine:Is that so? Well, you know what, I'm a busy man, therefore, you're going to fight tonight in the other battle royal, and you're going to also fight WITH Ray on Monday against the Super Martin O-Brothers. That way you get to hit him when you tag him, you got that Cheno? Now get "da funk" out of my office before I make an orphan out of you.
(Cheno just kinda stares at President Levine, and doesn't do anything.)
President Levine:I SAID LEAVE YOU IDIOT!
Cheno:Yo Mang... why you be frontin...
(Cheno leaves, and slams the door behind him. We now go backstage to where we see IWO Interviewer Eric Saddler standing with one of the competitors for the “Smokey Dinner Song Team” Battle Royal, this man is Sabastian Crow. ]
IWO Eric Saddler: I am standing here now with one of the competitors who will face off with 16 other opponents coming up next in our “Smokey Dinner Song” Battle Royal, this man is none other than Sabastian Crow, Crow, what are you’re thoughts about this match ?
[ Sabastian Crow is standing in blue jeans and brown boots, no shirt, as he throws back his head and pours some water over his face with a water bottle as he shakes his head, and awaits to answer... ]
Sabastian Crow: Eric, i’m just going to tell you man. The night has come, the night is ready, and the night is mine, tonight I will go into that ring with 16 other men and square off for the Main Event challenge. Telling you man, i’m placing full faith in myself tonight, oh yes, tonight is my night, and i’m more determined than ever to win this thing...
[ Sabastian Crow takes a drink from his water bottle,wipes his mouth, and takes off leaving as he continues to get ready for the match as the scene fades off. ]
GP: And we're back!
JT: AND it's time for the Fish-Bulb Team Battle Royal!
GP: Hooray, hooray!
Nikki: All of the men, except a few, are in the ring...!
("Rock the Casbah" by the Clash begins to play throughout the arena, as the fans get to their feet and boo "Wal-Mart" Walter Martin, who comes out wearing his long yellow wrestling tights and labcoat, as well as large-framed glasses tinted yellow. He poses for a moment, lifting his arms in the air,...then laughs off the fans' boo-yure, and runs to the ring.)
JT: And here comes on half of our tag team champions!
GP: More like Tag Team chump-ions. Heh heh,...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
JT: That wasn't funny.
GP: But Nikki thought it w,...
Nikki: It was stupid, Greg.
(Wal-Mart is followed behind by the nine-member Dallas, Texas SWAT Team, who are all holding their rears as they run out. After all nine have made it to ringside, "K-Mart" Kevin Martin appears at the entranceway, holding a cattle prod and pointing at them, laughing,...then he walks backstage.)
GP: NOW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
JT: Well, even IWO champions need protection too, G,..
Nikki: But don't you think this is taking a little to the extreme, JT?
JT: Are you trying to come on to me again?
GP: Well, it seems that the SWAT Team are huddled in a corner at ringside, as Walter has gotten into the ring and is officially in this Battle Royal!
(Then, suddenly, the lights drop, the spatula spins, the earth rocks, the clock stops, the earth rocks, the surf talks, and the crowd pops and "Shame" by BT plays after a gigantic explosion at the entryway. Joey Malone comes out on a pogo stick.)
GP: ...what... the hell... is that... idiot... doing?
JT: He appears to be coming to the ring on a pogo stick, Doctor Parker.
GP: I KNOW THAT.
Nikki: Wow. That pogo stick is shiny.
GP and JT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Nikki: Shut up.
(Malone gets off of his pogo stick and enters the ring.)
(Then, "Smoke Two Joints" by Sublime plays as Eddie Cheno comes out, bong in hand, to a big pop.)
GP: Ooh. Drug addicts.
JT: Hooray for drug addicts!
Passing maniac: CHENO IS GOD!
(Cheno gets in the ring and proceeds to smoke some major pot.)
(And then, finally, "Hemmorage(In My Hands)" by Fuel plays as the lights go completely black and then Sam Potright comes out to a half-cheer/half-boo as he makes his return. He walks to the ring and gets in.)
GP: And we're underway!
Nikki: Malone charges right into Sebastian Crow and starts wailing on him with various rights and lefts!
JT: Yeah, Malone is ready for this match, I guess.
GP: Wait a minute! Cheno still has that bong, and Carter comes over to him!
Carter: Hey, man. You got a smoke?
Cheno: Hey, mang! This be mine, yo!
GP: MY GOD! CHENO JUST KNOCKED CARTER OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH THAT BONG! HE'S GONE!
** Eliminated: Shawn Carter **
JT: ...that was relatively quick.
GP: I know.
Nikki: Adam Wars is unleashing all hell with those right hands to Brian Blade's forehead! Wars tries a suplex, now, but Blade flips over Wars! German suplex! But Martin breaks it up with a double axehandle to the chest of Blade!
GP: Martin picks up Wars and drops him with a DDT, but now Chris Mezz comes over and knocks him down with a clothesline! But look who's behind him! It's Potright! And Potright's insane, man!
JT: DUH. What gave you that clue?!
GP: Potright grabs Mezz and sends him off the ropes! Stungun to Mezz! Now Brian Blade lifts Mezz over and out! Chris Mezz is outta here!
** Eliminated: Chris Mezz **
Nikki: Scott Stone attacks Malone from behind! Stone goes for Suicidal Tendencies... no! Malone blocks it! Elbow to the back of Stone's head! Malone kicks Stone in the gut! Swinging neckbreaker!
GP: But this gives big Sebastian Crow a chance to revitalize! He grabs Spaz! Goodbye, Spaz! Spaz was just press-slammed over the top rope and on top of Chris Mezz!
** Eliminated: Spaz **
JT: My god! A quick exit for the former North American and Television champion!
GP: "My god" is my holy trademark, JT. I'm afraid you'll have to be terminated.
JT: Shut up, Greg.
Nikki: Anyway, Crow rushes at Malone, but Malone nails him with a VICIOUS running lariat! That knocks the big man down!
JT: Mac D with a clothesline to Brian Blade, meanwhile! Now Mac D with various stomps to Blade!
Nikki: Here comes AWS Man (also known as Bill), the number one contender!
JT: Mac D rushes at AWS Man (also known as Bill), who catches him with a VICIOUS Samoan Drop! Mac D's down!
GP: ...and down PERMANENTLY, after that Swanton Bomb by Potright!
Nikki: Blade's back up on his feet and he grabs a wandering Jonny Trip from behind! THERE'S THE CAREER KILLER(Hangman's Neckbreaker into DDT)! THE CAREER KILLER TO TRIP!
GP: That one came out of left field, all right!
JT: Mad Hatter charges in on Wars! Wars with a backdrop to Hatter, to send him over the top rope and GONE!
** Eliminated: Mad Hatter **
Nikki: Now Wars goes after Brian Blade again! He backs him into one of the corners of this heart-shaped ring! Right hands! Right hands! Repeated right hands to the skull of Brian Blade! Wars will face Blade at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3, after all!
GP: Quit yer shillin', missy!
JT: Anyway! Walter Martin is getting the upper hand on Potright! Vicious right hands to Potright! Potright may be in trouble! Potright gets in a forearm shiver to Martin's stomach! Now Potright pulls Martin into the post! Martin went shoulder first into the post!
GP: Meanwhile, Malone's gone back to the big man, Crow! But Crow with a headbutt to Malone to send him down!
Nikki: And meanwhile still, Christian Douglas is beating the hell out of the downed Jonny Trip!
GP: Douglas is grabbed from behind by Mac D! RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE(Samoan Neckbreaker)! RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE TO DOUGLAS! MAC D PUTS HIM BACK IN THE FIREMAN CARRY POSITION! AUGH!
Nikki: Douglas used his leverage to get Mac D out of the ring, over the top! Mac D and Christian Douglas are teetering on the edge!
GP: HERE COMES AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! CLOTHESLINE! MAC D GETS CAUGHT, BUT DOUGLAS GETS A SHOULDER IN ON THE INSANE ONE!
JT: MAC D IS GONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
** Eliminated: Mac D. **
Nikki: Mac D's gone, and Christian Douglas keeps himself alive with a springboard backflip into a released German Suplex! Nice move by Douglas!
JT: And it keeps him in the match!
GP: But look at the measurement that Brian Blade is giving Douglas! WAIT! THERE IT IS! THE CUTTING EDGE! THE CUTTING EDGE! AND IT KNOCKS DOUGLAS OUT OF THE RING AND OUT OF THE MATCH!
JT: Chalk another one up for Blade.
** Eliminated: Christian Douglas **
Nikki: Blade caught Douglas sleeping with that one!
JT: Yeah yeah...
GP: Meanwhile, Malone is now brawling with Adam Wars!
Nikki: Wars and Malone are exchanging right hands here! Wars ducks a Malone roundhouse right... but walks right into Scott Stone! SUICIDAL TENDENCIES?! NO! WARS TURNS IT INTO A FUJIWARA ARMBAR! But Stone's saved by Eddie Cheno!
GP: Cheno picks up Wars! Cheno with a gutwrench suplex on Adam Wars! Now Cheno floats over into right hands! Meanwhile, Stone is getting the crap stomped out of him by Joey Malone!
JT: Here comes Walter Martin! Martin grabs Malone and nails him with a DDT!
Nikki: Stone gets up and pulls Martin right into the waiting arms of Potright! And there's a VICIOUS double arm DDT by Potright!
JT: Stone grabs Potright! SUICIDAL TENDENCIES(Rock Bottom)! SUICIDAL TENDENCIES! Stone gets up and celebrates!
GP: ......and walks right into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Eddie Cheno
Nikki: Here comes AWS Man (also known as Bill), finally! He grabs Jonny Trip! DROP YOU ON YOUR FREAKIN FACE(Emerald Fusion)!
GP: Jesus Christ, Trip is like a punching bag out there!
JT: And AWS Man (also known as Bill) casually dumps Trip to the outside of the ring!
** Eliminated: Jonny Trip **
Nikki: Trip's gone... as AWS Man (also known as Bill) does the Chicken Dance!
JT: ...uh... but I think AWS Man (also known as Bill) should turn around!
GP: CROW! CROW WITH A CHOKEHOLD! CHOKESLAM TO AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER IS DOWN!
Nikki: Malone catches Blade from behind with a bulldog! Blade's down! Now Malone waffles him with various right hands, as the SWAT team of Walter Martin looks on!
GP: Speaking of Walter Martin, he's over trying to get Sebastian Crow out of the ring, with Adam Wars. But Crow's fighting out of it! Headbutt to Wars takes him down! Headbutt to Martin! Crow rushes at Scott Stone
and nails him with a clothesline! Now Crow tries to pick up Stone, but Stone gets him with a low blow!
Nikki: Now he stumbles aimlessly to the mat!
JT: And meanwhile, still! Malone gets Brian Blade down with a jawbreaker!
GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) charges in on Sam Potright... BUT POTRIGHT JUST CATAPULTED HIM RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LITERALLY INTO THE FOURTH ROW OF THE ARENA!
JT: OH MY GOD! THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER WAS JUST ELIMINATED! HE WAS JUST ELIMINATED BY POTRIGHT!
** Eliminated: AWS Man (also known as Bill) **
JT: Scott Stone is getting to his feet, and he goes after Malone! Clothesline to Malone! Stone picks up Malone... and now Stone with an irish whip, Malone reverse! Elbow to Stone to rock him! Stone stumbles back in Malone's general direction! WAIT! THERE IT IS! ARIZONA DEATH DROP(Flapjack DDT)! ADD! STONE IS OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
GP: Stone was PLANTED in the middle of the ring!
Nikki: But Wars comes to ruin the fun with a baseball slide dropkick to the recovering Malone's face! Wars jumps on the top rope! He's looking for it! Yes! There it is! THE FINAL FLIGHT(Shooting stars frog splash) OFF THE TOP ROPE AND TO SCOTT STONE!
JT: Who dedicated Stone the new punching bag of this match?
GP: Oh wait! Brian Blade just picked up Wars and threw him out! What a cheap, dirty tactic by Blade!
Nikki: Hold on, Greg! Wars went THROUGH the ropes! He's not eliminated!
GP: Oh. Well, Blade's celebrating like he just eliminated Adam Wars!
JT: CHENO WITH THE NEEDLE JAB(Superkick)! CHENO JUST KNOCKED BLADE'S TEETH LOOSE WITH THAT KICK THAT SENT AN ECHO LIKE NO OTHER THROUGHOUT THIS ARENA! BLADE COLLAPSES IN A HEAP!
GP: Cheno picks up Blade and tosses him out like yesterday's garbage! Brian Blade is gone! Out of here, even!
** Eliminated: Brian Blade **
Nikki: Malone is getting to his feet, again, as Cheno grabs him for the Bong Hit! But Malone slips out! Malone slipped out and gets a release Northern Lights Suplex!
GP: But Malone walks right into a VICIOUS missile dropkick from Potright!
JT: Potright now crotches Adam Wars on the top... SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK TO SEND HIM OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR! ADAM WARS IS GONE, TOO!
** Eliminated: Adam Wars **
GP: Crow now comes over and rushes at Malone and nails him with a clothesline! He picks Malone up and tries for a powerbomb, but Malone gets out of it with a backdrop! What strength! And look at the feisty Potright, diving on Crow with various right hands to Crow!
Nikki: Crow shoves Potright off of him, and now Crow gets back up, but Malone springs off the recovering Eddie Cheno... JERKEROLIZER(Springboard Diamond Dust)! JERKEROLIZER TO SEBASTIAN CROW!
JT: Malone struggles to his feet, and Scott Stone grabs him! He goes for Suicidal Tendencies, again, but Malone grabs the arm! Kick in the gut... oh dear god... EVEREST CATACLYSM(Double arm Inverted Emerald Fusion)!
STONE IS OUT!
GP: Now Cheno picks up Stone's body and throws him out!
** Eliminated: Scott Stone **
GP: Malone is getting to his feet, but Walter Martin cuts him off!
GP: What the? Oh, no! Folks, it seems that the SWAT Team is going to try to help Walter eliminate Joey Malone!
JT: Oh, no. What a tragedy. Heh heh.
GP: Will you just sit back and laugh at this,..this,...tragedy?
JT: Didn't I just do that?
Nikki: I think he did, Greg.
GP: ....shut up! I'm the head of this announce team, and you don't contradict me!
::The tallest member of the SWAT Team is taking his time getting on the apron, so he misses Malone, who has just been tossed into the ropes by Wal-Mart, completely.::
Nikki: And Malone now sends the green IWO superstar into the ropes, and...the SWAT Team member eliminates him? OH MY GOD! Wal-Mart has been eliminated.
JT: You sound suprised.
Nikki: And why shouldn't I be?
GP: Because he's a jobber!
** Eliminated: Walter Martin **
GP: And then there were four!
JT: But Potright grabs Malone! WAR WITHIN A BREATH! WAR WITHIN A BREATH TO MALONE! Malone's out! But Cheno makes the save with a flying forearm to Potright! Cheno lays it in to Potright with right hand after right hand! Cheno picks up Potright! HE GOES FOR THE BONG HIT! But Sebastian Crow from behind with a clubbing forearm! He picks up Cheno! POWERBOMB! POWERBOMB TO CHENO!
GP: Malone is crawling to one of the sides of this heart-shaped ring! He's got... he's got... OH JESUS! HE'S GOT PEN!
Nikki: THE GREAT EQUALIZER!
JT: POTRIGHT WALKS OVER TO MALONE, BUT PEN JUST BITCHSLAPS THE TASTE RIGHT OUT OF POTRIGHT'S MOUTH!
GP: PEN IS VICIOUS TONIGHT! CHENO BACKS AWAY, BUT CROW'S NOT AS SMART! PEN BITCHSLAPS CROW TO THE CANVAS!
Joey Malone: Yeah! Who's yo' daddy, Crow?!
Crowd: *chanting* PEN! PEN! PEN! PEN! PEN!
GP: THE SPATULA IS OVER!
JT: Oh! But Cheno takes Pen from Malone!
GP: PEN JUST BITCHSLAPPED CHENO!?!?
GP: Pen slides out of the ring!
JT: Potright's getting to his feet, and he charges at Malone! Malone drops down and grabs the ropes! POTRIGHT FLIES OVER THE TOP! HE'S GONE!
** Eliminated: Samuel Potright **
(Suddenly, a flying saucer flies into the arena.)
JT: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!
Nikki: It's a flying saucer! And it's flying over Cheno!
GP: What the hell's that light that's shining down on Cheno!?
Alien: GREETINGS, HUMAN. WE HAVE COME TO ABDUCT YOU. SUCKS TO BE YOU!
JT: OH MY GOD! CHENO'S BEING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!
(The aliens drag Cheno off the ground, into their spaceship, then the ship flies away.)
** Eliminated: Eddie Cheno **
GP: We're down to Malone and Crow, and Crow's getting to his feet! Crow lumbers over to Malone, who ducks behind a clothesline! Release Dragon suplex by Malone! I can't believe the *power* it took for Malone to
lift that big man up with that move!
JT: Dude, Malone is a physics-defying weirdo! I'm pretty sure that with work being force through the distance, Malone said "FUCK IT" and took Crow over.
GP: Brilliant logic, JT.
JT: Thank you, Greg.
Nikki: Malone goes for the Everest Cataclysm, but Crow's blocking! Crow LIFTS MALONE UP FROM THAT POSITION! Is he going to eliminate him like that?! No! Malone slips out! Backslide?!
GP: Crow flips Malone over his back and right in front of him! He grabs Malone! Sambo suplex to Malone! Malone can't take TOO many shots like that!
JT: Crow picks up Malone and has him hooked up! Standing tiger powerbomb!
Nikki: Malone's dazed right now, as Crow signals that it's over! He's looking for the Submission Death Lock! And he's got him turned over! He has it locked in!
JT: TAP! TAP DAMN YOU, TAP!
GP: There's no submission in this match, dumbass!
Nikki: Malone's not tapping, and he's not giving it up!
GP: How long can he take this hold?! There's no rope breaks! WAIT! Look at Malone fighting it! Malone's ACTUALLY ROLLING TOWARD CROW! THAT BROKE THE HOLD! WHAT THE HELL!?
Nikki: Crow is VERY frustrated, now! He goes for a press slam! HE'S GOING TO TRY AND THROW HIM OUT WITH THAT! MALONE SLIPS OUT FROM BEHIND!
JT: Malone sends Crow into the ropes, who hooks into the ropes! Malone charges... AND THEY BOTH GO OVER THE TOP!?
GP: Hey, what the hell!?
JT: Both men went over the top rope!
GP: We need an offical decision from somebody at ringside!
(We cut to Chè Clikoob, standing with a fan.)
Chè Clikoob: Hey, asshole. Who do you think won this thing?
Fan: Erm, well, they both landed at the same time, so...
Chè Clikoob: ...so, you can go to hell. Back to the assholes doing the talking.
(Back to Greg and the Gang.)
GP: Uh, thank you, Mr. Clikoob...
Meygon: The winners of the battle royal... JOEY MALONE AND SEBASTIAN CROW!
GP: Rapture. But what does this mean for our Main Event Tonight?!?
JT:I think we'll find out Greg, don't we always?
GP: Folks, it seems that we have something going on in the parking lot,...
::The screen splits to show Walter Martin with a cattle prod, talking to a young girl resembling young Cindy Brady. Wal-Mart has on a Mysterious One mask with the Wal-Mart logo all over it.::
Wal-Mart: Don't worry, Cindy. You'll see daddy real soon.
::Wal-Mart knocks out Cindy with the blunt end of the cattle prod,..then places her body in the back of the Martinbulance. Walter laughs maniacally as he jumps in the passenger side door of the Martinbulance, and it drives away.::
Nikki: That was disturbing.
GP: Folks, it seems that the Martin Bros. didn't have the Dallas Texas SWAT Team with them after all,...
Nikki: What do you mean?
(JT snickers at Nikki for not having put it together yet)
GP: Well, Nikki, they had nine masked individuals of varying height and weight,...and that was Cindy Brady whom Walter Martin just placed in the back of his vehicle!
Nikki: Oh. Ha ha ha,...(looks down to breasts) you guys are supposed to help me figure out this stuff, you know. (looks up and laughs, as Greg joins her in the light humor)
JT: ,...yeah, she sure did pay enough for you, y,...
GP: Back to the action!!
JT: Yes, yes! We are, we are!
GP: Well, up next we've got...
(Suddenly, "Welcome Burden" by Disturbed plays as the fans go absolutely freakin' WILD for Team CGI. Joey Malone and Donnie Daze come out as the fans go even louder. Both are wearing their wrestling gear. Malone and
Daze both climb into the ring and go to opposite corners to raise their hands. Pyro goes off and whatnot. Malone grabs a microphone.)
Joey Malone: You know... there's a lot of not-silly fun things in the IWO. I mean, think about it... you've got no-talent hacks like Scott Stone, boring losers who TaLk LiKe ThIs, SuCh As RyAn ReMeDy; and then you've got Jax Stone. Stonity Stonity Stone, or should I call you the Muffin Man? I guess I shall call you the Muffin Man. Jax, being the Muffin Man is NOT cool, dude. You jump through our windows and are all "HI, BILL, I'VE COME TO ROB THIS PLACE OF YOUR MUFFINS". Then you rape the households of our blueberry and strawberry muffins, then rush to your chariot of Keebler Elves and ride off into the sunset. Well, I'm not going to stand for it, Muffin Man! You and your damn side of fries! I shall take vengence upon you, because you, the Muffin Man, have raped my household of my girlfriend, and...
(Daze quickly takes the microphone from Malone.)
Daze: Dude, Joey. That has to have been the *worst* comparison of what Jax Stone did to you that I've *ever* heard!
(Malone gets another microphone.)
Malone: Meesa sowwy. =(
(And with that said, "Get On Top" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers plays as Jax Stone comes out to a chorus of boos. Behind him is Mike Marchese, and by his side is Keri, Joey Malone's girlfriend. Keri's hands tied to
her back and her mouth gagged. Stone forces her on her knees as he grabs a microphone. Malone is, how you say, pissed.)
Jax Stone: Hey, take another step closer and I'll find John Smythe and have him do his worst.
(Malone just pauses at the side of the ring that's the closest to the entryway.)
Jax Stone: Malone, see, that's one of the best chapters in "Heeldom for Dummies"! Always keep the faces in the ring and distract them just long enough for the President's henchman to jump the both of you from behind with an iron pipe!
(And with that said, Dane Matthews runs from out of the crowd. Donnie Daze turns around and ducks a pipe shot from Matthews, knocks the pipe out of his hands, and brawls with him. Jax Stone leaves Keri with Marchese, who takes her to the back, and rushes to ringside to brawl with Malone.)
GP: My god! These guys are all brawling with each other! Madness!
JT: Daze and Matthews are just exchanging right hands after right hands! Malone and Stone are just beating the hell out of each other on the other side! Matthews tries a roundhouse right! Daze ducks... CLOTHESLINE
OVER THE TOP AND TO THE OUTSIDE!
Nikki: Malone with an irish whip into the ropes... Daze comes in, too, but Stone puts on the brakes and slides out of the ring!
GP: There's something going on between these guys, I'm telling you!
(Then, suddenly, "I Am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays as President Levine comes out to an even louder chorus of boos than Stone and Matthews got. He has the mike.)
President Levine: Ah. Four little sheep in dire need to shear each other. How quaint. Malone, you want Jax Stone so damn bad... you've already got him at the pay-per-view. But let's up the ante. Screw the Lake of Fire match. That... isn't enough. I had a look at some old tapes, recently. Some stuff that happened a few years ago with your
trainer, Malone. One match caught me with quite a bit of interest. So Malone... you... and Stone... will face each other... in your match... an Arizona Firewater Death Match!
GP: What the hell? What the *hell* is that?!
President Levine: Malone, you remember this structure, right?
(The IWOTron shows a picture of a rather fearsome looking structure. Two cages... the inner cage with barbed wire wrapped around it and various weapons... the outer cage an Hell in a Cell with four ladders that go to hatches on the top. Between the inner and outer cages is a moat of water with floating mines in it.)
GP: Oh my GOD.
President Levine: See, Malone. I chose this match because it'll be the fastest way to end your damn career. I chose this match because Jax Stone is just that better than you. So at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3, Jax Stone's gonna put an end to your stupidity once and for all.
(Levine pauses. Malone leans against the ropes with his microphone.)
Joey Malone: Hey, Levine. Is that a clip on tie?
President Levine: *flabbergasted* ...sh... SHUT UP!
Joey Malone: =(
President Levine: As for the battle Royal Perdicament, I'm sure that the fans want something to be fixed. Tonight, in this ring, it will be Donnie Daze, against Joey Malone...
(Malone and Daze gasp at one another.)
President Levine:... against Sabastian Crow, versus Dane Matthews, and to make things intresting, Jax Stone. All the men involved in this contraversy will be in the ring, and the WINNER, will get Ten Thousand Dollars, along with their shot at the World Title. I hope you all enjoy this, because YOU, brought it apon yourself!
* COMMERCIAL BREAK *
GP: And we're back.
JT: Greg. Who's "we"? I think you should say "And the IWO is back!" instead of "We're back"!
GP: Shut up, JT.
("Memory Remains" by Metallica plays as the IWO Extreme champion, Dane Matthews, comes out to a chorus of boos.)
Meygon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... making his way to the ring... from Albany, New York... weighing in at two hundred and forty-three pounds... he is the IWO Extreme Champion and the master of the Downtown Explosion... ladies and gentlemen... he is DAAAAANNNNNEEEE MAAAAATTTTTTHHHHHEEEEEEWWWWWSSSSS!!!!
(Dane Matthews climbs into the ring and gives all of the fans the finger or something like that to make the fans boo him some more.)
GP: Well, Dane Matthews certainly didn't expect this match to occur.
("Memory Remains" fades out, and then "Get On Top" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers plays as Jax Stone, accompanied by no one, as Stone asked Mike Marchese to keep an eye on Keri for him.)
Meygon: And his opponent... hailing from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at two hundred and fifty-eight pounds... he is a former IWO North American, Extreme, and Television champion... he is the master of the Drop Like A Stone... HE IS JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX STTTTTTOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(Jax Stone climbs into the ring and does some stuff to make the fans boo at him some more.)
JT: Man, Jax Stone has that psychological edge over Joey Malone, though.
GP: Oh man. Jax and Dane are seriously going nose to nose, because Jax is still pissed at Dane for taking the title from him.
JT: Matthews just shoved Stone out of his face!
Meygon: And their opponents...
("Your Disease" by Saliva plays as the fans go NUTS over Donnie Daze. I
mean, it's just insane. Both Stone and Matthews stop shoving each other
and look toward the entryway. Pyro goes off and the fans go nuts some
more! Then Daze comes out and the fans are nearly climbing the walls.)
Meygon: First... from Port Saint Lucie, Florida, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds... he is the current IWO Pacific Champion and a former IWO United States Champion... he is the master of Further Paralysis and Dazed and Confused... ladies and gentlemen... he is DOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE
(Daze waits outside the ring for Joey Malone.)
GP: I wonder what Levine's game is?
JT: Who knows.
(As quickly as these words are spoken, the lights go out, the spatula spins on the video wall, then the pyro literally EXPLODES just as "Shame" by BT plays as the crowd goes apeshit.)
Meygon: And his opponent... from Phoenix, Arizona... weighing in at two hundred and fifty-two pounds... he is a former IWO Pacific, United States, World Tag, and Intercontinental Tag Team Champion... he
is the master of the Everest Cataclysm and the Arizona Death Drop... ladies and gentlemen... he is JOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(Malone rushes to the ring, Daze joins him, and all four men start brawling.)
GP: And here we go!
JT:Crow's not even allowed to get to the ring!
Nikki:Crow may be at a disadvantage, but then again, he could be a very high advantage instead. One pinfall, he can lie back and wait until the rest of the men beat themselves to hell.
("Enter Sandman" by Metallica hits the pa system as the lights go out. It's obvious that the men in the ring are still going at it, as the slowly dim purplely on. Sabastian Crow makes his way out to the ring, and climbs in, as he sees the four men battling. The lights fully turn on now.)
GP:This match is huge! I feel it! I feel it!
JT:Of course you do! Malone catches Stone with a huge right, Matthews body slams Daze. Daze gets up quickly, as he clotheslines Matthews up and over the top, flying over with him.
Nikki:This isn't battle royal rules, it's first pinfall in the ring wins. That makes this match no Disqualification I guess.
GP:Stone throws Malone off the ropes, as he comes back. Malone gets caught with a huge back body drop, as Stone gets out of the move. Crow grabs Stone by the neck, and Nails him with a HUGE jawbreaker to his left!
JT:Like Danny Doring! Stone pops up, as Crow dropkicks Stone up and over the top!
GP:Malone back to his feet, as he hooks Crow from behind, and hits a HUGE full nelson slam!
Nikki:Action is fast and furious, I can't even keep up! Daze whips Matthews into the corner on the outside, and charges in himself!
JT:Malone has Crow, and he's going for the Everlast Cataclysm! AND HE HITS IT!
(We hear a loud explosion, which catches the announcers off guard.)
GP:DAMN! I totally forgot about the C4 Explosive stipulation! Dear god! Crow is screaming in pain in the ring, as Malone goes for a cover...
(The ref counts 1, 2, and then Stone hits Malone in the head with a chair, knocking him off the pin.)
JT:AND JAX STONE SAVES THE FALL!
Nikki:He was TOTALLY down after Everlast Cataclysm, especially with that explosion!
GP:Stone has Malone, and sets him into the ropes. Stone leap frogs over Malone, but Malone stops, and hits Stone with an inverted neckbreaker!
(The camera switches to the outside, where Dane Matthews has the steel steps, which are brightly colored Red. He charges at Daze, who's perched against the ring, and Daze moves.)
GP:DAZE OUT OF THE WAY! And Matthew's slams that into the ring, hurting himself!
JT:Daze with a dropkick sends Matthews down to the mat!
Nikki:Daze slides back in, as Malone is on the cover on Stone...
GP:1-2-NO! Daze picked Malone up?!? These two men are good friends, tag team partners, what could happen here!
(Daze and Malone are shown getting face to face with one another, as all of a sudden, Dane Matthews comes flying in. He gets in the middle.)
GP:What the hell is Dane doing!
JT:Malone kicks Matthews... Daze quickly up top, INTERNET ELIMINATION! THE SPIKED PEDIGREE!
Nikki:MATTHEWS IS OUT! BUT STONE HAS THAT CHAIR! HARD SHOT TO DAZE SENDS DAZE DOWN TO THE MAT! Stone throws the chair down... DROPPED LIKE A STONE ONTO THE CHAIR! MALONE IS OUT! MALONE IS OUT!
GP:Cover by Stone, 1-2-NO! Sabastian Crow comes in for the save! It's going to be hard to put all five of these men into a one man standing position!
Nikki:Crow hooks Stone, and nails him with a HUGE inverted Suplex! Dear god! Stone's face just bounced off the canvas. Crow grabs Stone by the head, and he's locking the Extreme Veteran into a Buffalo Sleeper.
JT:Idiot, you can't win the match via submission! Pins only!
GP:Daze is slowly climbing back onto the ring apron, and he sees Crow and Stone locked in a submission hold. Daze climbs up top, and leaps off with a huge missle dropkick to the back of Crow's head! Dear god! Crow falls over, grasping his had, as Stone is on top?!?
JT:COVER! 1-2-NO! Daze breaks it up! Daze throws Stone off, and covers himself, 1-2-NO! Kickout by Sebastian Crow.
Nikki:Crow is resilliant, he's not taking this brutal punishment without keeping up.
(We see Malone get to his feet, as he sees a fallen Jax Stone. Malone, bleeding from the head, looks down at Stone.)
GP:Malone must be bleeding from the Dropped like a Stone by Jax Stone.
(Malone pulls out Pen, which gets an immediate reaction from the crowd. He then begins to horse whip the fallen Jax Stone with it.)
Nikki:Stone falls outside of the ring, as he's trying to regain his composure. Stone slowly tries to get away, as Malone is... chasing Stone with a Spatcula?!?
GP:That's Pen Nikki.
Nikki:With a Pen? It makes no sense Greg...
GP:Just call the match.
JT:Well, Crow, Matthews, and Daze are the only three people left inside the ring, as Matthews is up, and battleing with Daze. Matthews GOES low! That's the type of move I like to see! Matthews sets Daze up on his shoulder, and hits a BEAUTIFUL shoulderbreaker!
Nikki:Crow is back up, as he has Matthews from behind. He nails a perfectly executed inverted DDT...
GP:DEAR GOD! Matthews was just exploded by Sabastian Crow.
JT:Matthews is down, Crow with the cover, 1-2-NO! Daze dives in for the save! At the last moment! Dear god!
Nikki:Daze grabs Crow, FURTHER PARALYSIS! CROW'S BEEN HIT WITH DAZE'S MOVE! COVER BY DONNIE DAZE! IT'S OVER!
GP:1-2-NO!?!? SABASTIAN CROW KICKED OUT?!? WHAT IN SAM HELL!?!?
JT:Haha! You were wrong slut!
JT:I love that sound...
GP:Dear god! Crow took Further Paralysis from Donnie Daze, and wasn't pinned! What in sam hell!??
JT:Daze has Crow once more... DAZED AND CONFUSED! HE JUST NAILED SABASTIAN CROW WITH IT! DEAR GOD! THIS IS OVER!
Nikki:Daze is celebrating in the ring... BUT MATTHEWS GRABS DAZE FROM BEHIND! DOWNTOWN EXPLOSTION! DEAR GOD!
GP:DEAR GOD! IT REALLY BLEW UP! MATTHEWS DIVES ON TOP OF DAZE, ONE... TWO... THREE! DANE MATTHEWS HAS DONE IT! HE'S WON THE TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR BOUNTY, AND A SHOT AT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE 30TH! DEAR GOD FOLKS! THIS IS NUTS!
(Matthews gets to his feet, as the referee walks over, and grabs a briefcase. He hands it to Matthews, as we hear the announcement.)
Meygon:Your winner, and reciever of the World Title Shot... DANE MATTHEWS!
(A look of pure joy comes over the face of Matthews, as he can't believe what's happened. Scene cut to the back, where Jax Stone is leading Joey Malone into a boiler room.)
Jax Stone: Come in and play, Malone!
Joey Malone: Hey, get out of there! Who knows when Mick Foley might inhabit the boiler room once again! We could both feel the wrath of Mankind!
(Malone enters, and sees Keri tied up in a corner of the room.)
Joey Malone: Keri?! What are you doing here?
Keri: Joey?! Look out!
(Malone turns around, but it's too late, as Stone waylays Malone in the head with a steel pipe. Stone spits on the out cold Malone.)
Jax Stone: See you on Monday, Malone. You bitch.
(Stone takes Keri and leaves the scene.)
* COMMERCIAL BREAK *
(The scene opens up to a dark dungeon place. Jax Stone is sitting down laughing at Keri. All of a sudden the door opens and a man wearing a trench coat walks down. He sees Jax and is startled. Jax quickly jumps up
and tackles the man to the wall.)
Jax Stone: So you're the one who's been giving me trouble! Who are you?!?
(Jax turns on the light and takes off the guys hat to reveal...)
Jax Stone: John????
(The man quickly escapes Jax's grasp and runs back up the stairs and Jax shakes his head. We fade back into the arena.)
GP:Folks, we've just been informed by President Evan, that even though he's been busy with his plans for Syphon Fission, the Main Event will be a FATAL FOURWAY... pitting Joey Malone, Sebastian Crow, Dane Matthews, and Donnie Daze against one another!
JT:Jeez, didn't Malone, Matthews, and Daze just fight one another?
[The scene cuts to the parking lot as we see a car pull into the parking lot. The fans thinking its Syphon go nuts. The car pulls into a space and turns off. Right when the engine turns off two other cards pulls into the spaces next to the car. The two cars are so close that "Syphons" Doors can't open. Two men get out of the other cars and run away as we hear a really big engine start.]
GP: What the hell is going on.
JT: It doens't look good for Syphon!
Nikki: Syphon is traped in that car!
[As the announcers go on and on over things, As a tank is seen pulling around the building. The camera does a close up of it as the fans boo and we see Evan Levine driving it. The camera pans away as the Monster truck gets ready to roll over the three cars]
GP: MY GOD HE'S GOING TO KILL SYPHON!!!
JT: COME ON EVAN! KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN!!!!
[The millitary tank screeches off and drives over the cars crushing them, Evan with a sadistic smile, he slowly backs up over the cars and stops with the back of the tank on top of Syphon's car. The fans out side and in side are screaming as they watch Syphon's car get crushed.]
GP: MY GOD NO!!! NO!!!
[Evan stops the tank and turns it off. He gets out, jumping to the ground, as he looks at the crushed car and smiles. He sees Discord and walks over to her side.]
Evan: Yeah, that's the end of Syphon! Time to go announce a new champ!
Discord: Job well down!
Evan: I know.
[Evan and Discord turn around and start to walk into the building as all of a sudden a car across the lot turns its lights on and tears out of it's space right at Evan, Evan turns around and sees it coming right for him as
his eyes widen. Then without warning Evan pulls...DISCORD IN FRONT OF HIM]
GP: THAT COWARD!!!
[Discord rips away just in time as the speading car hits Evan hard putting Evan over the car roof to the ground. Knocked out and on the ground, Discord runs to his side as the camera pans over to the car that stopped.The Window slowly rolls itself down, as we seen none other than SYPHON FISSION!!!!!!]
GP: Syphon wasn't driving that car!!! MY GOD WHO WAS?
[The camera pans over to the crushed car as the truck pops open and out comes an Onslaught Midget!!! The fans go nuts as the Midget runs over to Syphon and gets into the car and the two drive off with Evan out cold on the ground, bleeding from all over.]
Gp: MY GOD!!!!!!! FANS WERE OUT OF TIME!!!
JT: SHIT DAMN IT, I THOUGHT ALL THE MIDGETS LEFT WITH THAT GUY! FROM THAT GUY PRODUCTIONS!
Nikki: Evan is hurt, and it serves that sadistic bastard right!
GP: Fans join us Monday for MNM!!!!!!!!!
[Scene dies out as EMTS begin to put a neck brace on the fallen President.]