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Hostile Takeover 2/9/01
Live from Dallas, TX
Main Event
Min Time Limit:10 Minutes.
Joey Malone vs. Donnie Daze
*For their actions on last Monday Night's card, Daze and Malone have been ordered to face one another in the main event of Hostile Takeover. A decision made by President Levine to get back at the participants involved in his vicious destruction, Malone and Daze are forced to wrestle one another, or their careers will be ended.*

World Heavyweight Title Match
Syphon Fission -c- vs. Scott Stone vs. Spaz
*Syphon requested this match, after feeling Stone was degrading him as a champion. Syphon feels Stone is nowhere close to the level he is at, and therefore wants to prove how much of a different between Stone thinking of his talent level, and his actual talent. Levine also wishes to destroy Syphon Fission, and we know he's bound to have something up his sleeve come Friday Evening. Spaz is given his shot, because he successfully defended his North American Title inside of a tournament that would give him a world Title Shot. We'll see what Spaz can do as well.*

Cardboard Tag Team Partners Matchup
Dane Matthews & Cardboard Cutout of Shawn Arrows vs. Jeff King & Cardboard Cutout of Ryan King
*Both men were recently abandoned by their tag team partners. Ryan King was thrusted into retirement, as Shawn Arrows thrusted himself into the MNM Commentators spot of his lost glory days. Now, Matthews and King will do battle, with the winner recieving some sort of singles title oppertuinity. The oddness of this match is that each man will have a cardboard cutout of their former partner in their corner, which can be pinned just as much so as the actual wrestlers themselves. It's bound to be an odd pairing.*

*LiGiL must win to keep Main Event Spot in BHBB3*
Tod vs. LiGiL
*LiGiL gained the oppertuinity to be in the Main Event at Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3, but many people feel that he doesn't deserve what he has. He has to prove himself to the rest of the IWO, by defeating Tod, to keep his true heavyweight title shot later in the month. Tod, a semi-friend of his buddy AWS Man(Also Known as Bill), wishes to take down LiGiL to impress his friend, I guess. Well, it works out!*

Non-Title
Sephiyra Reign vs. Adam Wars
*Sephiyra Reign destroyed Adam Wars' automobile on MNM, and it's obvious he has something against the Television Champion. Wars', of course, wants some sort of redemption for Reign's "reign of terror." We'll see if Reign can win himself an actual shot at the television championship, instead of forcing his way into the way of Adam Wars.*

Double Debut Matchup
Mad Hatter vs. The Savior
*Both of these men are new to the IWO, and when new people come, we usually put them together and have them try to impress the board. If they don't impress the IWO, they could very well find themselves fired. We'll see these two fight for their job, much like Modest and Daniels from weeks ago.*
=============================
(Open with a shot at new IWO President Levine's office door. The gold plaque reads 'Vice-President Evan' with 'Vice' scratched out so much it looks like a cat with PMT let loose. We cut to a shot of the bottom of the door, and some shoes walk up to it, knock, and are greated by a...)

Evan: Come in.

(The shoes enter the room. We wait for a moment before we cut inside. It appears that the two have already been in discussion. President Evan continues...)

Evan: So, you think you're not getting a fair go in the IWO? You think that you should be World Champion? Hell boy! Everyone thinks they should be World Champion! And whats this I hear about you getting thrown out of the BRA headquarters?

(We turn to face the stranger, and it's none other than Ben O'Connor! The crowd politely applaudes.)

Ben: Mr. President, I was a former IML World and Pacific Champion - I strongly feel that I should have been granted a World Title shot months ago.

(Evan thinks for a moment.)

Evan: Look, We really need to get started on the show - we have 2 minutes. I'll tell you what - I'll give you a shot at a World Title tonight, OK?

Ben: What?! Just like that! Excellent!

Evan: The World Tag Team titles.

(A brief look of disappointment from O'Connor.)

Ben: You're not thinking of putting me out on my own are you?

Evan (chuckles): He he, Hell No! No, we'll give you a partner all right.

(There is a knock at the door. After Evan's "Come in!" Simon Seaman enters, the United States title hanging off his right shoulder.)

Ben: Simon.

Simon: Ben.

Evan: Simon.

Simon: Evan.

Ben: Evan.

Evan: Ben.

Simon: Uhhh, Yeah. I was just letting you know that I'm gunna get a pizza, but I'll be back before the nights out, Okay boss?

(Seaman begins to walk away.)

Evan: Actually, Simon. You're not booked tonight are you?

Simon: I don't think so.

Evan: How would you like to be?

Simon: Put the title on the line? Awwww man.

Evan: No, no, no. Simon, you have the chance to win Double gold. You are going to be Ben's Tag Team partner tonight for the World Tag Team titles.

Simon: You're not serious.

Ben: He's serious.

Evan: I'm serious.

(Simon breaths and exhales deeply. He walks out the office, not a word to either of them.)

Ben: Thanks boss, I'll put on one hell of a show for you!

Evan: You do that, Ben, you do that.

(Ben leaves. We hear a beat three times, as the IWO logo fades onto the screen three times. A bolt of lightning strikes, and ignites a baron and dark logo into bright blue flames. Slowly that fades out, as we head into highlights of the recent weeks, ending with Syphon Fission holding the World Title high in the air after Conspiracy Theory 2. We then fade into the ringside area, as we see none other than Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki, dressed eloquantly, as usual. We hear "96 Quite Bitter Things" by CKY playing over the pa system, as it's seemed to get the fans rather up on their feet.)

JT:SHOPPING CARTS!

GP:Ignore that idiot, WELCOME TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER! Fans, this roar is defening, and I'm sure you can concur when you see what's in store for tonight's show!

Nikki:That's right, a huge card of ...

JT:Maginituitions?

Nikki:No, a huge card filled with matches that could have drastic effects on the Pay Per View, and the IWO in general!

GP:Donnie Daze and Joey Malone, Team CGI Members battle it out inside the main event, while Syphon Fission defends his world Heavyweight Championship against both Scott Stone and Spaz inside a Triple Threat Matchup!

JT:SHOPPING CARTS!

*Smack*

Nikki:Not to meantion Reign's recent feud with Wars boils over to television, and we're definatly excited about Simon Seaman and Ben O Connor facing the Tag Team Champions, the Super Martin-O Bros! This night will most definitely...

JT:REEK OF AWESOMENESS! (Pause) SHOPPING CARTS!

("I am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie cuts off the song made famous by the Jackass Shopping Cart's episode, as we see none other than President Evan Levine make his way out from the back, dressed in a suit and a tie, and of course, more presentable than any other board member.... if there is another board member. He of course, makes his way to the ring, with Discord by his side.)

President Evan Levine:Ah, my wonderful servants, welcome to Takeover.

(Boos)

President Evan Levine:I haven't even said anything yet, I'm just kindly welcoming you all to Hostile Takeover. I'm going out of my way, out of my busy schedule, to make sure your time inside the arena is much more enjoyable than it was last Monday. We all know what happened on Monday, do we not?

(We hear loud cheers, as signs for Team CGI begin to surface. A Team CGI Chant gets going, which annoys Levine.)

President Evan Levine:I know your views are clouded by misjudgement, by the fact that it seems like, I'm the bad guy. Well, to set the record straight, THEY are the ones who started this all, and Fission thinks that he can do whatever he wants, and keep his little Title. He may have come damn close on Monday to losing it, but damn close isn't what's happening tonight. I vow, on the head of my lovely, beautiful, and talented Discord, that Syphon Fission WILL not walk out of tonight with the World Title around his waste. I will make sure that Team CGI doesn't walk out of here tonight with a smile on their face, and if they do, it's because we've beat them into a hypnotic high. Daze and Malone, Syphon Fission, and ANYONE OUT THERE WHO THINKS THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME, will feel my wrath! Within the next ten minutes, should ANYONE come out here who is not invited, I promise that they will be fired on the spot...

(Discord takes the microphone from Levine. She is wearing sleak black leather, and is getting the attention of the crowd.)

Discord:Hello all, tonight, we are going to do what we couldn't do on Monday. We are going to induct my main man into the spot he so deserves. We are going to do what everyone else said we couldn't, and we are going to induct Evan Levine, into the Hall of Fame. Into the spot he so deserves. Evan, I'd like to direct your attention to the IWO-Tron, where you can see footage of your career. You're monumental, explosive, and decisive career...

(The camera fades onto the IWO-Tron, as we see highlights of Evan Levine's career. We see him triumphing at Conspiracy Theory, all the way up to holding the World Title high in the air with the FWF banners flying down from the ceiling. Then, it's suddenly cut off to blackness.)

President Evan Levine:What in the hell?

(We then see images of Levine recieving the Humpintator from Psycho Jay, and then having his head repeatedly humped. We see images of Levine bloody, beaten, and pummeled.)

President Evan Levine:What the hell is this, some kind of sick joke? This is MY retirement ceremony, no one can interupt it like that!

(All of a sudden, it once again fades into blackness... and then we hear the beat from "Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine. The arena dramatically cuts into pitch blackness.)

JT:I Wet my pants...

Nikki:EWWWWW!!! I thought I was just wet!

JT:I am...

*Smack*

(The pitch blackness turns into light, as we see a small man with a Mysterious One mask over his head, chair in hand. President Evan Levine turns around, only to be hammered in the head by this man, who obviously is at a size disadvantage. Levine falls to the mat, and rolls out of the ring. Discord slaps the man inside the Mysterious Mask, as this man pushes her down. President Levine helps Discord out of the ring, microphone still in hand.)

President Levine:THAT'S IT! I DON'T CARE WHO THE HELL YOU ARE! YOU ARE MOST DEFINITLY FIRED!!!! REVEAL YOURSELF YOU INSECURE BASTARD!

(The man inside the ring takes off his mask...)

GP:.....

JT:....

Nikki:......

GP & Nikki:JAMIE!!!!!!

GP:JAMIE KOSOY IS BACK!

(Kosoy grabs something from the corner, which is a simple black briefcase. He shows it to Levine, high in the ring, as Levine gets rather paranoid. He quickly leaves the scene, as the camera fades to the backstage area. The show fades to the hallways of the Reunion Arena. We see Syphon Fission, Joey Malone, and Quinn Morgan in the hall, looking around for something.)

Joey: What are we looking for again?

Syphon: Levine’s dressing room…

Quinn: What for?

Syphon: So I can set up the trap for Mr. President.

Joey: Oh yeah…

Syphon: Evan wants to try to play mind games with me…well…he will learn that he can not beat me. Revenge is always sweat.

(Just then, Christian Douglas comes into the scene. He is walking away, as Syphon stops him.)

Syphon: Douglas…you’re new here…make yourself useful. Do you know where Evan Levine’s office is?

(Christian smiles and then answers.)

Christian: Sure…down the hall, turn to the right, last room down that hallway. Can’t miss it…has a big star on it.

(Syphon and Douglas high five each other.)

Syphon: Thanks man…

(As the Team CGI trio goes in the direction, we fade back to the show. Quick cut, as we see Tod walking down the hallway. He knocks on Malone's door, looking to say hi, but no one answers. All of a sudden, someone catches Tod in the knee with a lead pipe.)

GP: What the? Who just took out Tod?!

Nikki: Seems to me that someone doesn't want him to make it to his match tonight...

JT: Oh, yeah right Nikki... Who would want to do that?

GP: Folks, we'll be back right after this commercial break!

**Commercial Break**

(The scene fades into President Evan Levine's office. Tod comes bursting in, still being affected by his knee injury.)

President Levine: Ack, you startled me... Now's not the time Tod...

Tod: I want LiGiL...

President Levine: You already have a match with him later on tonight...

Tod: No... I want payback... He took me out with a pipe earlier.

President Levine: Now Tod you and I both know that could have been anyone. It might
have even been Syphon, just making sure LiGiL wins tonight, and he gets his hands on him...

Tod: Make my match with LiGiL no DQ...

President Levine: Now Tod, I don't know if that's wise.

Tod: ...Make my match with LiGiL no DQ, or there wil be hell to pay...

President Levine: Fine fine, just leave me be, you'll have your prescious stipulation...

Tod: Thanks a lot, I'll be sure not to dissapoint you...

(Tod leaves.)

President Levine: Like that's the most of my problems tonight. Jeez...

(Fade out)

GP: Folks, we're back, and it's time for the TV Champion's match!

{"Dragula" by Rob Zombie kicks in, and the crowd pops for Adam Wars. The TV Champion, title around his waist, walks into view, when out of nowhere strikes Sephiya Reign!}

JT: YES! BLOOD!

GP: Grow up, JT! We've got a match!

{Reign rolls his foe into the ring.}

DING DING DING!

GP: And the match is on! It looks like Sephiya Reign is taunting his opponent, that being Adam Wars. Wars climbs to his feet, and Reign lifts him up into a crucifix powerbomb! Reign picks him up again, whips him into the ropes, and Wars counters with a shoulder block! Reign's head bounced right off the mat there!

JT: And now Wars is taunting Reign! Wars has him in an inverted facelock, he's signing for Turning the Tides! And a vicious low blow by Reign! Wars staggers around, and Reign clotheslines him to the outside! Come on! Bring in the blood!

Nikki: You're so immature!

JT: You're very, very matured, Nikki.

{JT ogles Nikki, and Nikki sighs as GP continues.}

GP: Reign with the advantage, and he smacks Wars's head into the pole! That had to hurt! And Wars retaliates with a roundhouse kick! Reign is clutching his head, and Wars gets into the ring. Look at this! OH MY GOD! WARS MISSED THE TOPE AND HIT THE BARRIER!

JT: Yes! BLOOOOOD!

GP: God, JT, do you have any compassion towards another human being?!

JT: Ummm...no!

GP: I figured as much. Now Reign rolls Wars into the ring, the cover!

1!

2!

GP: And the kickout by Wars!

{Suddenly, "Toxic" by Crazy Town hits, and the crowd erupts in boos as Brian Blade walks out! He yells trash at Wars, then sits down and joins GP, JT and Nikki at the announcers' table.}

Brian: Hey, JT!

{Brian high-fives JT, nods to Greg, and greets Nikki.}

Nikki: Hey, Brian!

JT: Some match, huh?

Brian: Not really. Both these guys blow, and Wars is being particularly blowsome.

GP: Is that even a word?

Brian: Was anyone talking to you, Greg? No! So shove it up your ass!

{Greg turns his attention to the match.}

GP: While this was going on, Wars had backed Reign into the corner. Now he's

working on Reign, who blew up his car earlier this week! Wars with a whip to the opposite corner, Reign whips him there, Wars's back hits the turnbuckle! Reign dashes in, but Wars backflips up to the top rope! Great move by the TV Champion!

Brian: That's child's play, you inbred freak!

JT: AHAHAHAHA! That was great!

Brian: I know. Now Wars is on the top rope, and the idiot crotches himself! Don't try this at home, boys and girls! Reign goes for a press slam, but the dumbass gets caught by a Wars Diamond Dust! That took a lot out of ya, Wars! Maybe you shouldn't do such pea-brained moves that injure yourself when you're weak!

GP: Come on, give him some credit!

Brian: Don't tell me what to do! You should have been named Greg Barker, because all you ever do is yap about how the faces are so over!

JT: AHAHAHAHA! That was even better!

Brian: OK, great seeing ya, JT, but I gots to do something very important. See ya, JT, and Nikki...

{Brian kisses her right hand.}

Brian: I'll see you later, too.

{Nikki blushes, as Blade slides into the ring with a chair!}

GP: What the hell is Blade doing?!

CRACK!

GP: WHAT A CHAIRSHOT TO ADAM WARS! REIGN HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED!

CRACK!

JT: And a shot to Reign for good measure!

GP: Now, Blade's propping Wars up in the corner! He tosses the chair up! OH MY GOD! CUTTING EDGE (Thrust kick) THROUGH THE CHAIR! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!

JT: Yes! He's making his promise to bust Wars open good!

GP: And now what?! NO! NO! CAREER KILLER (Hangman chinlock into a DDT) INTO THE CHAIR! WARS IS BLEEDING! WARS HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN!

(Brian Blade goes over to the timekeeper, and asks for a microphone, and the Television Title, both of which are handed to him.)

Blade (with mic): Believe me now, Wars? Come Broken Hearts, Broken Bones, us three will get it on in a Last Blood Match! Last person not bleeding wins! Now, Wars!

(Blade grabs Wars by his hair, leading him over the television Championship. Blood slowly begins to drop from Wars' forehead onto his television championship.)

Blade:LISTEN WARS! LOOK AND LISTEN! This, will be all that you see come Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3, as I walk away with the belt you disgraced...

(Blade throws Wars down to the mat, who has lost too much blood for his own good. Blade leaves the ring, as we fade into the back. Kaysey Arrows stands next to Tod.)

Kaysey Arrows: I'm Kaysey Arrows and I'm here with Schitzo, err... Just tod.
Tod, it looks like your match with LiGiL will be no DQ, got any comments?

Tod: LiGiL, you want to mock me, call me stupid? DO that all you want. but
NEVER interrupt me like you did earlier. NEVER attack me from behind. If you
have something to say, say it to me face, otherwise don't say it at all.

Kaysey Arrows: now, Tod you have a match on Meldown against Kevin Martin
and
Ash Robinson...

Tod: On Meldown, it looks like I have to take on two punks that want to make
a name for themselves. Well let me tell you something, "k-Mart" and Robinson,
if you make me mad, even more mad then I am now... Yiu'll get what's coming
to you.

Kaysey Arrows: Any closing comments you'd like to add?

Tod: Yeah, to Jamie Kosoy, if you don't re-hire Jay or Kestler, your going to
regret it. Same goes to anyone that gets in my way of achieving that goal...

(Tod walks off. Quick Cut into the outside of Evan Levine’s office. We see Syphon Fission and Joey Malone hiding behind the door, and Quinn, by the door. She knocks on the door and runs away, waiting for Evan to chase her. The door swings open. Out comes Evan Levine, and he has a pissed off look on his face.)

Levine: Who the…

Quinn: HI EVAN!!!

(Levine smiles and chases after her.)

Levine: Come here bitch…so I can crush you and make your little boy toy quit!

(Levine runs after Quinn, who has a large head start. When he is out of view, Syphon and Joey laugh.)

Syphon: Look at the panty waist crap heckler…

Joey: Fell right for it.

Syphon: Have the equipment.

(Joey draws a crowbar and some spray paint.)

Joey: Your darn tooting!

Syphon: And thus…Guerrilla warfare takes the place of head to head combat…

(Joey and Syphon enter the office as the scene fades back to the show.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: Folks, welcome back, and if you've just joined us, during the break we saw a bit of tension backstage between United States Champion, Simon Seaman, and his old IML friend, Ben O'Connor - let's take a look.

(Footage rolls.)

Simon: I can't believe you got me stuck in a match tonight - I didn't want the tag team titles just yet!

Ben: Double gold, Simon! Double gold!

Simon: I'll have double gold after Monday anyway! They're giving me the world title!

Ben: They're not 'giving' you the title, Simon. You have to earn it.

Simon: Still, I want to be in top condition - and you go and get me stuck in a Tag Match!

Ben: Dude, take it easy! All you have to...

Simon: I don't have to do anything. I'm leaving, good luck with your match tonight.

Ben: Hang on! You can't just walk out on a match!

Simon: Why not?

(Simon grabs a nearby dufflebag, and leaves.)

Ben: Shit.

(Return to Ringside.)

JT: Well, as you can see - it looks like it's a handicap match now for the Tag Team titles, and let me ask you a question, GP - if Ben O'Connor does win this match, does Simon get handed the other title?

GP: Morally, he shouldn't take it - but yes, if Ben O'Connor wins, Simon Seaman will have the other Tag Team title, because frankly, he is still booked in this match.

JT: Alright well now we have.....

("Family Traditions" by Hank Williams Jr. hits the pa system, as we see Billy Ray walk out from the back. The Bartender is apparently missing from the set, as Billy Ray walks down, and joins the announcing crew. He takes a swig of his beverage of choice.)

JT:Billy Ray! Welcome!

Billy Ray:Thank ya JT. Always a pleasure. Nikki, da beautiful glue of this team...

Nikki:Thanks... I guess.

GP:You have some nerve, even being out here right now.

Billy Ray:Whattya mean Parka? You got somethin' up your ass?

GP:You know what I mean Ray, you attacked a defenseless man at Conspiracy Theory!

Billy Ray:Defenseless? You obviously haven't been hit wit one of them wheelchair things.

GP:The nerve.

Billy Ray:Nerve? You sit here in your little chair and look at what I do, and tell me I have some (censored) nerve? (censored) YOU!

GP:WHY DID YOU DO WHAT YOU DID! FLYER WAS ONE OF THE MOST WELL-LIKED SUPERSTARS IN THE IWO!

Billy Ray:Answer me this Parka... WHY THE (Censored) NOT!

(Ray grabs at Parker, as he drags him onto the table. He punches Parker in the face, as Parker pratically falls down to his feet. Ray grabs Parker up, and locks him up for a Beer Bomb.)

JT:OH NO! COME ON RAY! OFF THE TABLE! PLEASE?!

*Crack*

Nikki:EDDIE CHENO JUST BROKE HIS BONG OVER BILLY RAY'S HEAD! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE!

JT:GET OUT OF HERE CHENO!

(Ray drops Parker out from the Beer Bong Position, and collapses onto the announcer table. Cheno climbs up top, and hooks him in an inverted DDT position. He then does an inverted spinning neckbreaker, driving Ray through the table with a diamond cutter type move.)

JT:NO!

Nikki:RAY DRIVEN THROUGH THE TABLE!

(Parker gets to his feet, grabbing at his jaw.)

GP:Serves him right god damnit!

(Cheno grabs Billy Ray's headset.)

Cheno:Yo mang, da shiznit is funkin' back!

(Cheno lights up a "cigarette," as the camera fades out before anything can be seen.)

**Commercial Break**

(We see Evan Levine panting as he has lost the track of Quinn.)

Levine: DAMMIT! The little bitch got away.

(Suddenly, Donnie Daze appears out of nowhere.)

Donnie: Seems like you lost the trail Evan.

Levine: SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT…I CAN FIRE YOU!

Donnie: What is the point…there might be more pressing matters you need to take care of…

(Donnie walks away laughing his ass off. Levine’s eyes become huge as he runs to his office. When he gets there, he sees it is a mess, with Team CGI spray painted over the walls, and his desk and furniture broken to bits.
Evan’s face is pitch red.)

Levine: SYPHON FISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Scene fades as Evan Levine begins kicking debris.)

Nikki- Alright! We've got our debut match of the card! We've got the ever
classic Newbie battle, coming up..

JT- That's right! We're about to watch the most boring match of the card! Yay!

GP- I don't know about that one.. I've been watching Matches of The Mad
Hatter and the Savior this week and they both seme rather impressive to me..I
think we could be seeing a good match coming on!

Nikki- Alright! Let's go to that Slut Meygon, to find out more about these
two wrestlers..

Meygon- This match..Is the most BORING match on the card! The newbie match!
Introducing first...The Newbie..The MAD HATTER!

[ "The Newbie Song" by Super Janitorial Elite Squad of Destruction begins
playing..Mad Hatter gets in the ring!.]

Nikki- That was an interesting ring entrance if you ask me!

JT- Ha! That was the greatest entrance theme Ive ever head..Ima Newbie..You
can walk all over me! Ima newbie..I make Jobbing easy!

GP- Stop that nonsense JT!

Nikki- You morons! We missed the Newbie song for the Savior! Damn you two!

:DINGDINGDING:

JT- Tonite's worse match is under way..We've got the rookies, just standing
in there respectable corners..There not knowing what to do..

GP- There nervous! Can you believe this?! There too nervous to make the first
move!? How crazy is this?!

Nikki- The ref throws the Mad Hatter into the Savior's corner! We've finally
got some action going on here..Mad Hatter and the Savior are exchanging
blows..Both men exchanging lefts and rights and swinging with everything
they've possibly got..

JT- Look at that! Both men are equally taking a punishing! How crazy is this?
Mad Hatter stops swinging for a minute..CLOTHESLINE! Major Clothesline from
the Mad Hatter! The Savior is down..

GP- Not anymore JT..The Savior quickly gets back to his feet and nails Mad
Hatter down with a clothesline! Both men pulling off clotheslines early in
this match! This is starting to look like it could get good!

JT- BORING!!!Do you know how much I hate watching the new wrestlers wrestle
in this federation?

Nikki- Shut up JT! I mean look at that move!Double Underhook Piledriver by
the Savior! did you just see that move?! That was one hell of a move right
there! I mean look at that! The Mad Hatter is madly on his ass right about
now!

GP- Oh My God! What a move that one was right there! The Savior's just left
some major damage on the Mad Hatter..The Savior's climbing the
topropes..Flying Elbow Drop! Nooo!!!

JT- HahAhA! The moron missed the elbow drop! How stupid can you truly get?
Look at him rolling around on the ground! Isn't that one great?! Wow! That
had to hurt!

GP- Wait..The Mad Hatter rolls over..Here's the cover..

Nikki- ONE!TWO!!! KICKOUT! The Savior kicked out! The mad hatter's shocked!
He thought he had it one!

JT- How lame is that? Winning from your opponent missing an elbow drop! God
you two crack me up!

GP- SHUT UP MORON! Look at that! The Savior's lying down on the ground once
again! The Mad Hatter just poked The Savior in the eye! What a MOVE!!Mad
Hatters following The Savior down to the ground..Kazakastanian Death Lock!

Nikki- I've never seen this move before..

GP- Well, this move is a Kazakastanian speciality..Where Mad Hatter learned
this move I've got no idea..But, it's sure putting a mark on The Savior..The
Savior's there..He's almost passed out..

JT- The Mad Hatter is now standing up with this Kazakacrapian Death Lock on
The Savior..ATOMIC DROP! The Mad Hatter just Atomic Dropped The Savior, while
he was in a Kazakacrapian Death Lock! Amazing! Simply amazing! Give me a
Break!

Nikki- The Mad Hatter's got both men on the ropes..What is this? What's going
to happen now..POWERBOMB! POWERBOMB OFF THE TOPROPES!

GP- The Mad Hatter with one hell of a move! Both men are there lying coldly
knocked out..The Mad Hatters finger is ontop of the Savior..

JT- ONE!!! TWO!! THREE!! YES THIS MATCH IS OVER! THANK GOD!

Nikki- The Mad Hatter wins! And this was a rather good match!

JT- a good BORING match!

GP- JT..

JT- What biatch..

(GP punches JT and knocks him out..)

Nikki- Good Job GP! Whoo!!

GP- We'll be right back after this commercial!

**Commercial Break**

GP: Our next match-up is quite,....odd, to say the least. We have Jeff
King, with a cardboard cutout of his brother, the injured Ryan King, taking
on Dane Matthews with his ex-tag partner Shawn Arrows's cardboard cutout.

Nikki: Yeah, it was a real shock seeing Shawn retire and give away the tag
belts,...and then to see his brother, Kaysey, make his first IWO appearance!
And their hair is sooo sexy,..

JT: Hey, Nikki! You know what "tuls" spelled backward is?

Nikki: What?

JT: SLUT!

*SMACK*

JT: OWW,....

GP: Anywho, Dane Matthews has been causing quite a ruckus lately with his
new cardboard cutout friend Bessie! He has been claiming that this match
will not feature the cardboard cutout of Shawn Arrows, but in,...

JT: Hey, numbnuts, we get the picture! And I think it's perfectly logical
that Dane have his chance to bring in a partner of his choosing,...and choose
well he did! Not only do I not question the fact that Bessie matches
abilities with Shawn Arrows' cutout, but I think she comes close to the
real,..

Nikki: Give us a break, JT!

JT: :-( Bitch.

Nikki: *sigh* You know, I am gonna let that slide.

JT: :-I Bitch.

Nikki: ,.....

GP: Anyhow, Meygon's in the ring, folks!

JT: :-) Bitch!

GP: Don't listen to him, Nikki,...

Meygon: The following match-up, the winner of which will receive a "great
singles opportunity," is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit!
Introducing first,....

JT: :-D BITCH!

Nikki: ,.....

GP: DAMN IT, JT!

("Memory Remains" by Metallica blares throughout the arena, as Dane
Matthews
appears at the entranceway,...he looks around, the fans are mostly booing him
because of his heelishness. Suddenly, a cardboard cutout is strung, a la
Michael Jordan cutout from Home Alone was by Little Home Alone Boy Kevin,
out
beside Matthews as he walks to the ring.)

JT: :-O That was my impression of Nikki when she's alone with any IWO
athlete!

*SLAP!*

JT: Damn,...don't know wh,...wait a second! YES! HELL YEAH! IT'S BESSIE
AND
DANE!

Nikki: Dummy.

GP: Yes, that is Bessie,..

Meygon: From Albany, New York, weighing in at 232 lbs, he is,...."The Real
Deal" DANE MATHEEEEEEEWS!!!

GP: And,...what is Dane doing?

(Dane has picked up Bessie from the wire she was on, and has her under his
arm. He points to her as he eyes Meygon, yelling various obscenities at
Meygon.)

Meygon: (nods head as Arrows quits screaming profanities)
*gulp*,....and,...BESSIE!?

JT: Gotta respect da box.

GP: I don't th,....

Nikki: Dane's now in the ring hugging Meygon!! He lifts her up off the
ground and then puts her down,...and takes Bessie to the corner.

GP: I do not understand this man named Dane Matthews, ladies and
gentlemen,...that I certainly do not.

Meygon: Introducing second,.....

("Original Prankster" by Offspring plays over the P.A. System as Jeff King
comes out with Janitors 4 and 1, as well as Kamie Josoy. Oh yeah! He also
has the cardboard Ryan King under his arm,...and is wearing both IC Tag Belts
around his waist,...it seems that Jeff is having a struggle keeping his back
from having pains while wearing two belts.)

GP: This group, of course, receiving even more boos than Dane Matthews and
Bessie,...

Meygon: Accompanied to ringside by Janitors 1 and 4 and Kamie Josoy, they
are the team of Cardboard Cutout of Ryan King and IC Tag Champion JEFF
KIIIIIIIIIIING!

JT: I LIKE THESE GUYS TOO!

Nikki: Because they are heels as well?

JT: Yup. (grins)

Nikki: Go figure.

GP: Kamie and the Janitors walking around the ring,...each is on a different
side, only leaving the ramp side unguarded, seemingly.

(Jeff gets in the ring, and he takes off his belts. But as he does, Matthews
takes advantage of the moment and blindsides King. The bell is rung as this
is going on, and King gets his last belt off.)

GP: And we're off, folks, in a fashion typical of wrestlers with such
attitudes as these!

JT: I know! Finally, some real wrestling! OOH! King is chasing Dane
Matthews around the ring,....Dane tags in Bessie!

(Dane jumps out of the ring and puts Bessie in his place.)

Nikki: And Bessie,...um,....sits there?

GP: King with an evil grin on his face,...Dane covers his eyes,....oh my
god! Is that man crying? He does not want to see Bessie get hurt!

JT: I wouldn't expect you to understand it, Greg,...it's a very special
feeling that a man has when he meets that speci,...

Nikki: "SHE" is just a cardboard cut-out!

JT: What's your point, Di**i-Licky-Nikki!?

Nikki: THIS! *SLAP*

JT: S(bleep)!!

(Jeff King punches Bessie,...but he hurts his hand and yells "DAMN!"
Everyone laughs,...he gets pissed,...Dane tells the fans to shut up and
appreciate Bessie.)

GP: Strong words coming from "The Real Deal" and Ryan King here,...to the
fans.

JT: Jeff King isn't giving up,...he bounces off the ropes! DROPKICK! DUDE!
HE HURT HIS FEET! BESSIE DIDN'T BUDGE!! THIS IS GREAT,...WAIT, NO
it's
not,...I like Jeff King,....damn, woe is me! I cannot handle a battle
between two heels.

Nikki: Typical.

GP: Dane Matthews is laughing at the temporarily stunned Jeff King,....and
he tags in Bessie,...Dane Matthews in the ring,...

Nikki: Hey, what's that the janitors have?

JT: Nikki, haven't you ever seen an "Evil Mop," as held by Janitor 1, and a
lawnmower, as held by Janitor 4?

Nikki: Uh, ye,..

JT: (interrupting) Just as I thought, you are a stupid whore!

Nikki: (turning red, restraining self) Grrrrrr!

(Dane Matthews stomps away at Jeff King,...the fans really don't know who to
stand for here, but they side with King. The ref tries to keep Dane from
doing this, but to no avail.)

GP: Well, I guess we all missed the fact that the Janitors brought these
items from backstage,...I guess it must be the ventilation in this place that
kept me from letting you people know,...although if you're watching at home,
you no doubt saw them.


JT: I HATE ARIZONA! IT'S ALL,...hot,...and,...stuff.

(Matthews shoulder blocks King after bringing King to his feet.)

GP: King is stunned, but not down, folks!

(Matthews whips King into the ropes,....he comes back, but Janitor 1 uses the
"Evil Mop" to knock out the ref, which distracts Matthews long enough for
King to connect with a double-underhook DDT.)

JT: YES! DANE IS DOWN! GO Jeff and BITCHBOY!

Nikki: Trashmouth.

JT: HA HA, DAMN RIGHT!

*SLAP*

Nikki: HA HA, no, that was damn right!

(Janitor 4 cranks up the lawnmower once he gets it in the ring, and runs it
over the unconscious ref's body, leaving nothing but the nubs of his feet,
still in his shoes.)

GP: OH MY GOD! JANITOR FOUR IS IN THE RING NOW WITH THAT
LAWNMOWER! HE
CRANKS IT UP, AND,...HE MOWS DOWN THE REF!! ALL THAT'S LEFT OF
HIM ARE
THOSE,....DAMN,...THAT IS SICK,...finish up for me, Nikki, I gotta,..gotta,...

(Nikki hands GP a paper bag into which he regurgitates.)

JT: (to Greg) P(bleep)Y!

*SLAP*

Nikki: Asshole.

JT: Hey, the janitors are now eating the remains of the ref?
Hmmm,,...foot-in-a-shoe, new to me, but I suppose as long as the janitors
like it,...

Janitor 1: Hey, this ref tastes pretty damn good.

Janitor 4 : Damn straight,...let's go to the back and mow down some more!

(The two janitors rush backstage with the lawnmower and "Evil Mop," as Kamie
Josoy follows for a few yards, as he yells at them. Both men in the ring are
up and exchanging rights and lefts, but King is the more energetic one.
Josoy decides it would be more to his benefit if he stayed at ringside and
turns around. He walks back toward the ring..lays his laptop on the ground
beside the ring, and rips off his green atari shirt, revealing a ref shirt
underneath. The fans boo him, and he goes ballistic.)

Kamie: DAMN IT! I RUN THIS PLACE AND IF I WANT TO BECOME A REF, I
CAN!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(jumps in ring)

GP: Well, it appears that we have a new abitrator for this match-up!

Nikki: Yep!

(Jeff King with a forearm to the chin of Dane Matthews, followed by a knee to
the groin, which Kamie Josoy calls as perfectly legal. The Cardboard Ryan
King even goes up to the top rope for some double teaming, via assistance
from Kamie Josoy, but he just falls off, now laying flat on the canvas.)

JT: You guys just don't dig cool like I dig cool.

GP: If you think that cool is cheating your ass off just to get a win over a
fellow cheater, then I'd have to say we don't!

Nikki: Agreed, Greg! Oh, geez, I think that lowblow got the better
Matthews.

(All of a sudden, all the fans in the arena stare upward. JT is the first to
notice this, so he does it, as well.)

JT: (looking up) Hey guys,...everyone's looking up.

GP: (looking up too) Yeah, there's someone up there, I think. A woman
in,..brown,...wtih big grey buns of hair?

Nikki: (looking up three) Hey, it's Rita Repulsa from the Power Rangers!

(The scene zooms in on Rita Repulsa in the rafters of the American West
Arena, where she is holding her magic rod in a position ready for launch)

Rita Repulsa: (dubbed worse that Kaientai Dx) Magic Wand, make the
cardboard cut-outs grow!!

(Rita throws the wand, and the ground of the arena opens up once it hits,
causing several tens of fans to fall through to who knows where. The
wrestlers in the ring scatter like crazy to the outside of the ring, as
Cardboad Ryan King, who was already laid out on the canvas, and Bessie, grow

to gargantuan size. Bessie falls over on Cardboard Ryan, pinning him/it.
*CONTINUITY CONSCIOUSNESS NOTE* -- Jeff King grabbed his belts and
Kamie
Josoy grabbed his laptop prior to "scattering like crazy.")

GP: Hey, it looks like Josoy, who's now standing by the entranceway, doesn't
want to count for Bessie!

JT: DAMN IT! I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO WIN! I WANTED IT TO BE A NO
CONTEST,...I HATE IT WHEN HEELS FIGHT EACH OTHER!

Nikki: Dane's hysterical,...arguing with Josoy! WHAT'S THAT?!

(A large, red, helmeted warrior runs out from the back with a ref's shirt on,
distracting everyone else from what he or she is doing.)

JT: Dude, Nikki, if you watched Power Rangers, you surely have to know who
Lord Zedd is!

Nikki: Oh yeah!

GP: Dorks. Zedd is in the ring!
1,............................................................................

..............................................................................

.........................................2!...................................

..............................................................................

..................................3!!

(The bell is rung as Meygon, from ringside, announces the winners. Zedd
atttempts to lift up gargantuan Bessie, but to no avail.)

Meygon: Your winners,...the team of Bessie and "The Real Deal"
DAAAAAAAAAAANE MATTTTTHEWS!

GP: And Jeff King has a look on his face that says "I've just been screwed."
He's looking for Dane, but where did he go?

JT: Dunno,..probably ran away,..the guy has brains, no matter what anyone
says, you know?

Nikki: Well, either way, there go King and Josoy to look for Matthews.

JT: They very well could've gone to find their janitor friends and eat some
referree feet, you presumptuous slut!

*SLAP*

JT: Damn,.....

(Suddenly, a large brown figure falls from the rafters on top of Lord
Zedd,...it's none other than Rita! A unanimous gasp of shock runs throughout
the crowd.)

GP: WHAT THE HELL?

(All look up to see Dane Matthews brushing off his hands in the rafters,...as
Rita hits, however, a large ring of mystic energy works its way around the
cardboard cut-outs, returning them to normal size. The bodies of Rita and
Zedd then vaporize.)

Dane Matthews: Don't worry, Bessie! I'm comin' for ya! (disappears from
rafters, probably coming down to the floor)

GP: Folks, what an odd conclusion to this odd-stipulation-bearing match!

(JT walks back to the announce booth carrying the cardboard cut-out of Ryan
King. He props it up behind them all. Nikki and GP give him an awkward look
before he sits back down.)

JT: What?

Nikki: Why on earth did you bring Ryan's cardboard cut-out here, JT?

JT: Well, the MNM announcers have the Arrows Brothers,...don't we deserve at

least a cardboard cut-out of an IWO superstar?

GP: *sigh* We'll be right back.

**Commercial Break**

GP: Welcome back folks, we have our Tag Team titles on the line tonight, and the Super-Martin-O-Brothers are going to square off with Ben O'Connor.

Meygon: Ladies and Gentlemen. The following Tag Team matchup, is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IWO Tag Team Championship. Making their way to the ring, they are the IWO Tag Team Champions! 'K-Mart,' Kevin Martin...'Wal-Mart,' Walter Martin. The Super MARTIN-O Brothers!!!

('Rock the Casbah' by the Clash plays and the Tag Team champions appear. A few cheers, a few boos, and a few people just concentrate on trying to get themselves on TV. Some different music plays, it sounds like the 'Love
Boat' by 'Dr. Love'. Anyhow, Ben O'Connor appears from backstage - a little more nervous than usual.)

Meygon: Their opponent. Weighing in a 252 Pounds. From Timboon, Australia...Ben O'CONNOR!!!!

Nikki: Poor Benny looks nervous.

JT: Wouldn't you be - facing these two animals on your own?

Nikki: I suppose.

GP: Ben-o heading into the ring now, and Big Kev's going to start off. Kev with a quick clothsline which takes the Australian to the ground.

JT: O'Connor not determined to let that bother him, he's up...and another clothesline. He's up, and ANOTHER! This is getting ridiculous.

Nikki: Poor Ben.

GP: Kevin tags Walter in, and they double team him for just a brief moment.

JT: Walter has Ben in a headlock, and a...WOAH! A Dangerous DDT on Ben...that was damn near lucky that didn't kill him, either. Walter and Kevin Martin not showing any remorse here, they are going to keep their titles here tonight at any cost.

GP: And Ben wants to win them at any cost. Ben up now...and Walter's just telling Ben to have a free hit! I can't believe it. These two are so confident that they can win! Ben's going to take the oppurtunity though, and he goes for a couple of swift punches to Walter's stomach. He's going to regret giving O'Connor those free shots.

Nikki: This is unfair!

GP: I know...isn't it cool!

JT: Yes, it certaintly is.

GP: Walter making the tag out to 'K-Mart' Kevin Martin now. Kev in, and he's going to the top of the turnbuckle! I can't believe it! This is going to hurt.

JT: Ben O'Connor get's dropped with a missile dropkick! I can't believe this! This is fantastic! Wait! Kev's setting Ben up for a Spike Piledriver! Stop this! Stop this at once...we know the effect it's had on many superstars in the past...oh this is brutal! This match just took a turn for the worse...Spike Piledriver on Ben O'Connor...STOP THE DAMN MATCH!!!!

GP: Kevin going for the pin, ...1...2...3...this one's all over.

Meygon: Your winners...and still Tag Team Champions...Super Martin-O-Brothers!!!!!!!

GP: That was one hell of a quick match.

JT: What do you expect - it was essentially a handicap match.

Nikki: Here come the EMT's - thank goodness for that.

GP: Ben getting attended to by the EMT's - and here they come with...Simon Seaman? Seaman's made his way back to ringside, possibly to help Ben out.

Nikki: I hope he feels damn guilty about what he's done.

JT: Seaman sliding into the ring, and he's staring down the Martin Brothers.

GP: Maybe it's his turn to recieve an ass whooping.

JT: Seaman leaving the Brothers for a moment to check on Ben. He's knocking the EMT's out the way...in fact, he's YELLING at them to get out the way.

GP: What the hell? Seaman's climbing the turnbuckle? And...oh my goodness! OH MY GOODNESS! He drops an elbow off the turnbuckle onto Ben's head! After that Spike Piledriver! This is henious...get those three out of the
ring.

Nikki (screaming): Beeeennnnn!!!!!!

JT: O'Connor being stretchered off now, it looks like Ben's reign at the upper-mid card wasn't too long.

GP: Folks, let's just show you some highlights from that match...

(Highlights play, namely the Dropkick, Spike Piledriver, and the freeshot given by Wal-Mart.)

JT: A henious, henious match. Well, going from that to ....

(We fade into the back, to see none other than Cheno standing next to a water cooler. Then, out of nowhere, Billy Ray comes flying and knocks Cheno in the head with a beer bottle.)

GP:AH! HIM!

Nikki:Ray isn't taking this sitting down. Ray grabs Cheno... and lifts him up, RIGHT INTO A BEER BOMB! ON THE DAMN CONCRETE! DAMN!

(Billy Ray grabs another beer bottle from the desk, and pours the beer onto the fallen and bloody Eddie Cheno. He walks away laughing.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: This next match is going to be an intense one. If LiGiL looses to Tod, he looses his spot in the World Title matchup at Broken Hearts Broken Bones 3.

JT: And from the interview thast Tod shot earlier, it looks like he's determined to take LiGiL out.

Nikki: Right, and JT, we also know that somone attacked Tod from behind.

JT: Could it have been LiGiL who attacked him?

GP: You guess is as good as mine JT, but because of the attack, President Levine has made this a Hardcore rules, no disqualification match! Anything goes!

(Suffocate by Finger Eleven hits as the crowd starts to boo wildly. LiGiL steps onto the entryway, and proceeds to make his way down to the ring.)

GP: Here comes LiGiL, a former North American champion.

JT: And soon to be World champion!

Nikki: We'll see JT, if he does go on to Broken Hearts Broken Bones he'll have Syphon Fission and AWS Man (Also known as Bill). That's going to be tough.

(Marylin Manson's Fight Song hits as the crowd gives a semi-pop. Tod steps through the curtains and stands ontop of the entrance ramp, starring at LiGiL.)

GP: Bur first, LiGiL has him to wrooy about! It's Tod!

JT: Don't you mean Schitzo Tod?

Nikki: He dropped that prefix whren AWS Man dropped him.

JT: But the shrink said he was a schitzo...

GP: And tonight, he looks pretty mad.

(Tod starts down the ramp, slowly making his way intot he ring.)

JT: Ha! He's scared to face LiGiL! I knew it!

(Tod enters the ring, he and LiGiL continue to stare each other down.)

*DING DING DING*

GP: There's the bell, Tod and LiGiL just starrring at each other.

LiGiL; You do realize that by making this match a no DQ I can do whatever I want?

Tod: Do you realize that these are going to be your last few moments in the main event at Broken Hearts Broken Bones?

(LiGiL delivers a right across the face of Tod. Tod staggars back, then motions for LiGiL to hit him again, he does, this time in the stomach. Tod cringes, then his face meets up with LiGiL's boot.)

LiGiL: All too easy...

(LiGiL begins stomping away at Tod, the picks up Tod's legs.)

JT: OUCH! A crotch stomp! No more little Tod's...

GP: LiGiL continuing this viscious assuld on a fallen Tod!

(LiGiL stops for a moment, then Tod's legs wrap around his neck and bring him to the ground. Tod gets on his feet, and heads for the turnbuckle. He hops off, and lands atop LiGiL where he makes the cover.)

GP: This is it!

JT: Oh no! LigiL won't be in the match!

`1..2..Kickout!

Nikki: LiGiL kickout out!

GP: Both these men are allot tougher then they give each other credit for.

(Tod rolls over, allowing LiGiL to get back onto his feet. The two men start an exchange of punches. LiGiL whips Tod into the ropes, then takes him out with a flying clothsline. Both men now lay on the outside of the ring.)

JT: C'mon LiGiL get up! Cruush him!

Nikki: Wait a second, I thought you liked Tod...

JT: yeah, but I like Evan better, and LiGiL is Evan's pick to win the world title so I like LiGiL.

Nikki: Right...

GP: LiGiL has made it to his feet! He's dragging Tod over to the croud barrier!

(LiGiL forces Tod's head on the metal fence. He contunes untill Tod has been busted open. He trys to do it one more time, but Tod stops him. Tos then wraps his arm around LiGiL's side and hops over the crowd barrier landing on LiGiL.)

GP: I think these two are going to destroy each other before they even make it to Broken Hearts Broken Bones 3!

(Tod grabs LiGiL, and they run through the crowd, and into the barrier by the ramp. LiGiL is now bisted open, and Tod shoves him over the barrier. With LiGiL down Tod climbs ontop opf the metal fence and coems down with an elbow to LiGiL, but LiGiL rolls out of the way.)

GP: Nobody home!

JT: Yes! C'mon LiGiL!

(LiGiL walks Tod up the ramp to the entrance platform. They both start to brawl.)

GP: LiGiL is determined to win. He'll do anything!

(LiGiL grabs for a chair and lays it by the entrance curtains. Tod then begins to climb the scaffolding. LiGiL stops his a few feet up, then improvises a tope rope palin-drone DDT ontop the chair!)

GP: OH MY GOD! IT'S ALL OVER! LIGIL IS GOING TO BROKEN HEARTS BROKEN BONES 3!

LiGiL covers Tod for the count.

JT: ONE! TWO THRI- AHHH!

GP: TOD KICKED OUT! TOD KICKED OUT!

Nikki: LiGiL is pinning Tod again!

JT: C'mon! ONE! TWO! NO!!

LiGiL: C'mon ref! The was a slow sount and you know it!

(LiGiL starts arguing with the ref. Tod manages to grab the chair, and whack LiGiL's backside.)

GP: After this match, these two will either respect each other, or hate each other.

(LiGiL stumbles around, Tod then picks him up, the delivers a call from beyond, only they lept off the platform onto stage equipment.)

GP: OH MY GOD! THOSE TWO MEN HAVE JUST DROPPED 20 FEET ONTO STAGE EQUIPMENT! THEY'RE BOTH OUT COLD!

JT:Sparks are flying everywhere, dear god, it's like a chaotic bomb field!

(The referee doesn't start his count, since there are no rules, as Tod is the first one to his feet. He brings LiGiL up, however LiGiL goes down stairs on Tod.)

GP:LiGiL is setting Tod onto his shoulders, and LiGiL isn't exactly sturdy yet either...

JT:PALINDROME OFF THE FREAKIN' SPEAKER SET TO THE ARENA FLOOR! DEAR GOD! TOD MUST BE BROKEN IN GOD DAMN HALF!

GP:Dear god! LiGiL and Tod are broken in half! Broken in god damn half I tell you!

(LiGiL barely draps an arm over Tod, as we hear the referee count One, and then two, however the lights go out before a third count can be hit.)

JT:DAMNIT! SO FREAKIN' CLOSE! COUNT THE THREE REFEREE! TOD IS STILL DOWN!

(The lights come back on, as LiGiL is up, looking around. AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) grabs Tod up...)

GP:DROP YOU ON YOUR FREAKIN' FACE!

JT:Dear god! Tod was just rocked!

Nikki:LiGiL turns around, and he doesn't even know what happened. He thinks Tod's still down from his move earlier, and he sees AWS Man(Also Known as Bill).

(LiGiL turns AWS Man around, only to be met with his standing thrust kick.)

GP:KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF! LiGiL FALLS, ON TOP OF TOD! ON TOP OF TOD! 1-2-3! DEAR GOD! LiGiL just pinned Tod! LiGiL pinned Tod!

Meygon:You're winner, and still going to the Main Event... LiGiL!!!

**Commercial Break**

GP:Welcome back to Hostile Takeover, and this next part if the part of the show I dread most. Sam Potright said that there would be announcement about his condition today... and so, we go to Beth Potright, Sam's wife, to find out what has happened to him.

(Beth appears on screen. She's in the hospital room, and Sam is laid up in a purely white hospital bed beside her. The lights in the arena have dimmed. Her cheeks are swollen and puffy, and her eyes are bloodshot.)

GP: Beth... can you hear us?

Beth: Yeah...

(She stares at her husband's unmoving body, her eyes glassy with hope that he might wake up any second.)

GP: Beth... being the wife of Sam Potright, you must know about his condition. What is it?

Beth: It's... it's not too good, Greg. He's got third, second, and first-degree burns all over his body... he's barely woken up, save for MNM... and even then, he had ice packs, water, he had to keep cooler air and water on him at all times to keep from something bad happening. I have no idea what's going on with his head... he could be alive, or he could be dead... I just don't know, Greg.

GP: Well...

(Replays of Sam going into the flames are shown again and again, from many angles.)

GP: Do you know any chance of when he could return to the ring?

Beth: You sick bastard.

GP: Excuse me?

Beth: You sick, incomprehensibly torrid, company butt-kissing asshole! MY HUSBAND MIGHT VERY WELL BE IN A COMA!

GP: I'm --

Beth: Sorry isn't going to bring him back, Greg. Nothing you can say, do, or listen will help, either. You... you're just wanting to see wrestlers in the ring so the show can continue. You just want to see someone in the ring so you can do your job, so you can show off... so you can perform. Sam went out last Monday, he did his job... and he paid the consequences. He lived and breathed for the company. And you guys just want to know, "when is he going to be back? When will we see him back?" I DON'T KNOW! OKAY?! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! My husband, my lover, my... everything, is damn near dead! He's burned seriously for the SECOND time in his career! How... how can you be so obtuse to that, Parker? Huh? HOW?

GP: I --

Beth: SHUT UP! Turn off the camera.

Cameraman: But I --

Beth: NOW!

(She pushes the cameraman back... and the signal goes to snow.)

GP: Yikes... emotions running high for Beth Potright...

JT: She chewed you up like a Rottweiler with a piece of meat.

GP: Well, let's get on with the show...

(The scene opens up by the street outside a strip club in Phoenix, Arizona,
where the Super Martin-o Bros. are continuing their search for their lost tag
team title belts. Kevin is dressed in his Michael Jackson Thriller jacket
with the K-Mart logo on back, an old yellow WWF Hulkamania! shirt, and black
jeans. Walter is wearing goofy yellow-tinted goggles and a lab coat over a
red "Viva la Mullet!" Mike Awesome T-shirt and black pants. K-Mart is
talking to a rather well-endowed young lady, who seems to be eyeing his
brother rather than Kevin himself.)

K-Mart: ,...and, so, we kinda lost them after Mr. Shawn Arrows was nice
enough to give them to us,...and we got a big match with a team called the
Facts of Li,...(face turns mean) hell, I'm a heel,...I don't have to tell you
all this stuff, broad! I'm just gonna ask you,...have you seen mine or this
gentleman's belt recently?

Girl: Um,....well, I saw his when he showed me his,...

Wal-Mart: (smiling and nodding) I think he's not talking about that, babe,..

K-Mart: WALTER! DUDE, GET WITH THE BAD-I-TUDE!

Wal-Mart: I mean,...(making face rather cross) I don't know what you're
talking about, whore! I've never seen you before in my life!

(The woman tries to slap Walter, but he catches her hand and starts laughing.
She attempts to slap him with the other hand, but Kevin catches it. The two
then push her over, and as she falls into the street, a giant, reptillian
hand comes out of the gutter, sweeping her under. Then, a burp is heard.)

K-Mart: (ignoring their dirty deed just done) We gotta find those belts,..

Wal-Mart: Yeah, man,...Facts of Life so deserve a shot at us,...

K-Mart: Yea,...wait! NO! WE GOTTA GET THIS RIGHT, WALTER!

Wal-Mart: Okay,....(conentrating,..making mean face again) OKAY! We gotta
get our gold back because if we don't, one of those gold-grubbing, Miss
Garret-lovin' orphans might stumble accross it before we do! And they just
don't have the style and class needed to be champions,...that same style and
class that we do have, right?

K-Mart: (nodding head) Well, slap me around and rock the casbah! Walter
Martin, I think we might be able to piss people off, after all!

(The two walk away from the camera, disappearing into the darkness,....back
at the arena, the broadcast team are poised and ready to go.)

GP: Those crazy Martins,...haven't even been the tag champs a week, and
they've already lost their gold.

JT: Go a little easy on 'em, Greg!

(We fade into the backstage area, as we see President Evan Levine doing some paper work, trying to untense up before the big matches later tonight. Discord is sitting next to him, trying to relax him.)

Discord:Come on honey, everything's going to go as you've planned...

Evan:It hasn't so far, why would it all of a sudden miraculously change?

Discord:You've got your surprise. Team CGI can do all they want to this office, who cares, but when the Main Event Rolls around, Syphon Fission will be without his World Belt, and Daze and Malone will be lying in their own blood.

Evan:You've got a point there, but I can't let my eyes off the prize, if you know what I mean...

(A loud bang is heard, as we see a busted and bleeding Eddie Cheno burst into the room. He is still cut at the forehead.)

Cheno:Yo mang, dat drunken bastard funkin' hit me wit one o them beer bottle shiznits...

Evan:Who the hell are you, and why in sam hell are you getting blood on my rug!

Cheno:Nam's Eddie Cheno, friend of Flyer. Dat bastard Billy Ray assaulted me mang! I wanna fight him...

Evan:In a match?

Cheno:No, in a funkin' airplane, of course a funkin' match.

Evan:But you aren't licensed, you're not even employed by the IWO. Get out of my face.

Cheno:No mang, not dat funkin' easy. What da funk do I have ta do ta get that paper.

Evan:What?

Cheno:Da Wrestlin' license thing mang, can I get one Mr. Presidente?

Evan:These aren't lottery tickets, we just don't hand them out... Listen, Cheno, whatever you call yourself, you'll have to prove you should get one, sound good Cheno?

Cheno:Wat do I gotta do mang?

Evan:Fine, you and Billy Ray, Broken Hearts, Broken Bones 3.... You win, you get a job, and if Ray wins, I never see you again, sound good?

Cheno:Dat's all I funkin' want mang.

(Cheno leaves, still bleeding from the forehead.)

Evan:Who the (Censored) was that, and how the hell did he get backstage!

Discord:Who cares Evan... remember? Ball on the prize?

Evan:Yeah, yeah, just some last minute stuff before that rat bastard's match.

**Commercial Break**

(We fade into the back, as we see President Evan gathering around the television set. He seems to have his eyes wide open, as Discord walks into the room. She is wearing a rather revealing evening wear, as she sits up close to Evan.)

Discord:Hey Evan...

(Evan doesn't take his eyes off the television set, as he watches Scott Stone make his way to the ring.)

Discord:E-van!

Evan:Uhh... yeah? I'm looking.

Discord:You're obviously not Evan, come on, you're stressful, I want to make you unstressful!

Evan:No time, I'm going to make sure that rat bastard gets what's coming to him.

(Evan gets up, not even taking an eye to Discord. She looks rather angry, as Levine walks away, and out the door.)

GP:What does that mean? What does the President have in store?

JT:It's rather obvious Greg, he's going to take the belt off the shoulders of the, "rat bastard."

GP:That match is next! Don't go away!

**Commercial Break**

(We fade into the backstage area, as we see Daze and Malone talking to Fission. Fission seems ready for his match, and is trying to pump himself up.)

Fission:Okay guys, you got my back, right?

Malone:Of course we got your back, right pen?

Pen:....

Malone:Damn straight Evan Sucks.

Daze:Worry about your match Fission, we'll take care of the rest.

Fission:I'm counting on you guys...

(The three of them break into a huddle as the camera fades back to the ringside area. Quick Cut, we fade to a look on the outside entrance of the arena. We see a limo is pulled up, and a driver is waiting. Quinn Morgan comes out of the door, and over her shoulder is a rather large brown sac. The driver is amazed.)

Quinn: You just gonna stand there hon?

Driver: Of course not…

(The driver opens the back of the limo, and Quinn throws the sac into it. She then slams it shut.)

Driver: Where to…my fair lady?

Quinn: Marriott hotel…on the double hot cakes…got some nice cargo in the back.

Driver: No problem my dear.

(The limo speeds off as the scene fades back to Hostile Takeover. We see Meygon standing in the ring with a microphone. She seems to be sucking at the microphone, but then quickly stops.)

Meygon:This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the World Heavyweight Championship!

("Hellbound" by Eminem f/D12 hits the pa system.)

Meygon:Introducing first, from Scranton, Pennsylvania. He weights in at 244 pounds, and is the master of Suicidal Tendancies. He is a former North American Champion, and has held countless champions. He has been considered the man who never got his just dues... here is Scott Stone!

(Scott Stone walks out from the back, raising his hands to the crowd. He makes his way slowly to the ring, as he slides in. We then hear that slowly cut off, as "Twist of Cain" by Danzig hits the pa system.)

Meygon:And his opponent, and another of two challenges. He is considered the Cactus man of the IWO. He's gone time in and time out as the underdog, and came out on top. Months ago he came close to defeating Syphon Fission in this very ring, could history repeat itself? Introducing, from Lexington, Kentucky, the master of the Spazzed out, and the Spaztic Combustion, here is Spaz!

(Spaz walks out from the back, Raz mysteriously not by his side, as he recieves a rather large cheer. He looks for the Cactus, but finds nothing. Spaz walks to the ring, but he doesn't climb into the ring, as Stone is prepared to attack him. "Twist of Cain" fades out.)

Meygon:And their opponent...

("Papercut" by Linkin Park hits the pa system, as the fans erupt in cheers. A shadowy image comes across the entranceramp, behind a clear cut screen.)

Meygon:He is currently the World Heavyweight Champion, and has been considered the hardest worker of the federation, in a long time. He has never held a singles championship before the World belt, which is an uncanny feat in it's own. He hails from Seattle, Washington, and weighs in tonight at 265 pounds. Here is your World Heavyweight Champion, SYPHON FISSION!

(The ovation becomes louder, as the the screen is taken away like pieces from a puzzle. Syphon Fission stands there, holding the World Title over his right shoulder. He stops at the top of the rampway, taking in the applause.)

JT:We DO have a show here Syphon, if you didn't forget about it.

(Fission makes his way slowly down to the ring, as we hear the tones of "I am Your Boogieman" play over the pa system. The fans immediatly begin to boo, as President Evan's image comes across the IWO-Tron screen.)

President Evan:Now, Syphon, I know what happened on Meltdown, and I realize that it's not entirely your fault...

GP:What?

President Evan:However, I'm still going to punish you for not relinquishing the World Heavyweight Championship. (Boos) Whether you attempted to or not, is not my fault, and therefore, this match will take place... in a HANDICAP STYLE! I hope you like that Syphon! Stone and Spaz, versus yourself! If you're pinned by either man, you WILL lose. Oh yeah, remember, it's not a tag Handicap either. You'll have to fend for yourself Syphon. May God have mercy on your soul, because I won't... as long as you have that title.

GP:Oh God! Syphon won't get out of this thing alive! This isn't right! This isn't right damnit!

JT:Yes! Syphon finally will get what he deserves! That'll teach you not to mess with Levine, in OR out of the ring!

(Syphon gets pissed as hell, and drops the championship belt. He comes charging into the ring, as Stone immediatly catches him with right hands.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:And this one sided affair, this conspiracy of a match is under way...

JT:Come on Greg, crack a smile, I know your Real Heel is!

Nikki:You have no decency in your entire body, do you?

(Stone is shown whipping Fission off the ropes, and recieving a huge clothesline as Fission comes off. Spaz is shown in the corner, as Fission goes over, and knocks him to the outside with a Superkick.)

GP:Fission is trying to take things quickly, get out of there as fast as he can.

(Fission goes back over to Stone, as Stone is down on the canvas. Fission picks up Stone, and sets him on his shoulders, for a canadian backbreaker. We see Spaz climb up onto the canvas.)

GP:SPAZ! SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY SENDS SYPHON DOWN, AND SCOTT STONE WITH HIM!

Nikki:Wait, if Stone or Spaz pin Syphon, who gets the belt?

JT:Who cares slut bag, this is some good television!

*Smack*

GP:Spaz on top! 1-NO! Syphon gets up rather quickly. Spaz to his feet... DEAR GOD!

(Fission clotheslines the head off of Spaz, as Stone gets to his feet, rather grogily.)

JT:Stone kicks Fission in the gut as he was turning around, and hooks him in a front face. NO! Syphon turns him over with a huge Northern Lights! DAMN HIM!

Nikki:Fission has a hell of a fight left in him, it's going to take alot to put the Heavyweight Champion down for the count.

GP:Spaz is back to his feet, as he hooks Syphon from behind, and drives him hard into the mat with an inverted DDT.

JT:YES! AND THEY HATH COMMETH!

(Stone gets back to his feet and begins to stomp the living hell out of Syphon Fission, and looks at Spaz, who's not bothering.)

GP:Stone and Spaz are yelling at one another! I don't think Spaz kicks someone when they're down!

JT:That's why he lost his North American Title! Come on Spaz! Dig deep and cheat damn you! Don't do it for yourself, do it for Mr. Levine!

(Spaz picks up Fission, as he hooks Fission's arms behind his back. Stone begins to lay in with a couple of right hands, as then Stone hammers Fission in the gut, and goes for his Suicidal Tendancies.)

JT:SUICIDAL TENDANCIES?!? NO! SYPHON WRIGGLES FREE!

GP:Desperation russian leg sweep by Syphon. Fission gets to his feet, only to be knocked back down by a Side kick by Spaz.

(Spaz helps up Stone, as Stone begins to kick Syphon Fission while he's down. Spaz pulls Stone off, as Spaz picks Fission up.)

JT:What the hell is this, does Spaz have some sort of morality check now?

GP:Stone hooks Fission in the gut, and picks him up for a powerbomb, as Spaz climbs up top, and connects with a clothesline on the way down.

Nikki:Nice combination move between Spaz and Stone right there.

JT:Much like the IWO wrestlers do their combination moves on Nikki. One in the front, one in the back...

*Smack, punch*

(We see JT keeled over on his announce position. He seems to have lost a tooth.)

GP:Nice one.

Nikki:Thanks.

JT:The...war... is not.... over...

(JT passes out.)

GP:Back to the action, Syphon Fission is trying to fight back, hammering Spaz in the gut, but Stone comes over and punts him like a freakin' football!

(JT awakens, myseriously enough. Fission rolls over, grabbing at his midsection. Stone picks Fission up off the mat, as Stone takes him over in suplex fashion.)

JT:Nice suplex by Stone. I feel a new champion coming on guys...

(Spaz leaps off the top, connecting with a body splash right out of the suplex.)

GP:Splash by Spaz! Cover, 1-2-NO! Stone pulled Spaz off! And now STONE goes for the cover!

JT:No guys! Come on!

GP:Stone covers Fission, 1-2-NO! Fission gets a shoulder up.

JT:Stone and Spaz are aruging now, Spaz pushes Stone, Stone pushes Spaz! Dear god! This could explode! NO! NOT IN THE FACE OF EVAN LEVINE!

Nikki:FISSION HITS A DOUBLE LOW BLOW ON BOTH SCOTT STONE AND SPAZ! BOTH ARE DOUBLED OVER, DOUBLE BULLDOG BY SYPHON FISSION!

JT:Oh my god! What the hell, a champion who cheats! OF ALL THE NERVE!

GP:Fission grabs Spaz and tosses him out of the ring. Stone to his feet, Syphon, kick to the gut... DEATH PLUNGE! DEATH PLUNGE IN THE RING! STONE IS DOWN! STONE IS DOWN!

(Syphon dives on top of Stone for the cover.)

GP:SYPHON! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! SYPHON RETAINS THE CHAMPIONSHIP! HOW IN THE HELL!

Meygon:You're winner, and STILL, World Heavyweight Champion... SYPHON FISSION!!!!

(Syphon grabs the belt as we can see a split screen. President Evan is shown trashing his office even further than it is. He obviously is angry, as we fade into Evan Levine's office completely.)

President Evan Levine:DAMNIT! DAMNIT! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! Leave it to a no talent hack and a man with a cactus to do your work. That's it, I can't stand it, If Syphon Fission wants to see his friends after tonight, he'll hand over his god damn world title, if it's the last thing I say he does!

(The scene fades back to the entrance of the arena. We see a delayed Syphon in half normal attire, running out of the building with his backpack on his back.)

Syphon: Got to finish this plan for tonight…

(Syphon rushes for his Plymouth Prowler, gets in, and speeds away.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: Well, it's main event time, and it's bound to be damned interesting.

JT: Yeah. Those Team CGI bastards have to face *each other*! And if they don't wrestle for ten minutes, they're fired! Hahahaha! This is GREAT!

GP: Yeah, that's right. The match has to go on for ten minutes before a pinfall is registered.

Nikki: Let's go to ringside!

*ding, ding, ding*

Meygon: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is the MAIN EVENT OF HOSTILE TAKEOVER!

(Crowd pops. Huge.)

Meygon: First...

(The lights fade to black, and the crowd goes nuts. The video wall suddenly shows a spinning spatula, which is Pen. Then, a whoopie cushion is heard, followed by pyro which explodes right in front of the entryway. "Shame" by BT plays as the crowd goes even louder. Joey Malone then comes up, accompanied by Mega Man. Joey is also holding Pen in his right hand.)

Meygon: ...from Phoenix, Arizona... he stands at six foot, four inches, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty-two and a fourth pounds. He is a former IWO World Tag, Intercontinental Tag, United States, and Pacific champion... and he is accompanied to the ring tonight by Mega Man and the MOST DANGEROUS inanimate object in all of professional wrestling, Pen... he is the master of the Everest Cataclysm among many other moves... he is the self-proclaimed "Original Meaniehead... ladies and gentlemen... he is JOOOOOEEEEEEEYYYYYYY
MAAAAALLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(Malone seems reluctant to get into the ring, but he does so.)

GP: I know Joey Malone's in top condition. That knee injury's been healed, after all.

JT: But how much?

("Shame" fades out, and then "Your Disease" by Saliva plays as Donnie Daze comes out to an equally huge pop. He's accompanied to the ring by Joey Legion and Matt Senate.)

Meygon: ...and his opponent! From Port Saint Lucie, Florida... he stands at six foot, three inches, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty-five pounds. He is a former IWO United States champion and the CURRENT IWO Pacific champion... he is accompanied to the ring by Joey Legion and Matt Senate... and is the master of Further Paralysis and Dazed and Confused... he is known as "Mr. Mediocre"... HE IS DOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE DAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(Donnie Daze seems equally reluctant to get in, but he does.)

Nikki: How are these guys gonna fight for TEN MINUTES?

GP: I don't know.

*ding, ding, ding!*

GP: The bell has sounded, and the countdown is counting!

JT: Malone and Daze are just circling each other and... circling each other...

GP: I'm getting dizzy.

JT: DAMMIT! DO SOME VIOLENCE!

GP: Wait! There we go! Collar and elbow tie up by Malone and Daze! And... OH DEAR GOD!

Nikki: NOT THAT!

GP: THE GRECO-ROMAN PINKIE LOCK ON MALONE FROM DAZE!

JT: ...are we supposed to take this match seriously?

GP: Quiet, you!

JT: =(

Nikki: Malone is sort of kind of writhing in pain!

JT: He is not! He's frickin' SMILING, for Pete's sake!

GP: Pete? Since when did *you* get a new boyfriend?

JT: FUCK YOU, PARKER!

GP: Oh, you want to take me on!?

JT: YEAH, BITCH!

(Parker and JT start brawling, again.)

Nikki: Dammit.

Time left: 8:30

(Joey Legion and Matt Senate take broadcast positions.)

Legion: Hi.

Senate: Hi.

Nikki: Hi.

Legion: We'll call the match. COME ON, DONNIE!

Senate: YEAH! DON'T LET THAT IDIOT, MALONE, BEAT YOU!

(Malone reverses the Greco-Roman Pinkie Lock into his own!)

Senate: DAMMIT!

(Matt Senate suddenly passes out.)

Legion: Damn caffeine trips.

(The Pillsbury Doughboy takes his place.)

Doughboy: Ooga booga.

Legion: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Nikki: Hey, Pills.

Doughboy: The IML was getting boring.

Nikki: Call the match?

Legion: Call the match.

(Malone uses the Greco-Roman Pinkie Lock to send Daze off the ropes.)

Nikki: Malone with a Greco-Roman Pinkie Whip... Malone drops down... leapfrog by Malone... hiptoss... no! Daze lands on his feet!

Legion: Okay, Donnie... what the hell did you bring into the ring?

Doughboy: It looks like a... Halloween mask?!

Nikki: Daze is putting on a Halloween Mask!?!?

Legion: Uh, dammit, Donnie! This is no time for Trick or Treating!

Nikki: Daze is chasing Malone around the ring with that thing on!? Is Malone scared of it?

Legion: Naw. They're being a couple of wackos.

Time left: 7:00.

(Suddenly, Malone stops running and trips Daze, sending him spiralling to the canvas.)

Nikki: OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY ACTUALLY GOT KNOCKED DOWN IN THIS MATCH!

Legion: Quick! Alert the media! Somebody got knocked down! ...shame that it had to be Donnie, though.

Doughboy: Malone is dancing around like an idiot!

Malone: Ha *breathe* ha! Daze got outwitted by the King of Null Wit!

Daze: How many nicknames do you *have*, dammit?

Malone: Oh, I just put on my Magical Gloves of Glory and they tell me a new nickname!

Daze: Oh yeah?!

Malone: Yeah!

Daze: Oh yeah?!

Malone: Yeah!

Daze: Oh.

Malone: Yeah.

(We resume the wackiness, because Daze with a kip up! And the chase is on, again!)

Time left: 5:30

Nikki: Wait! Malone turns around again! Daze runs at him! Malone ducks down! Daze into the ropes! Malone with a leapfrog! Malone grabs a squeak toy! And he honks it! Daze just collapsed in a heap from the fright of that thing!

Legion: ...

Doughboy: ...

Legion: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Doughboy: HOO HOO!

Nikki: Daze is back on his feet! They lock up again! And now, Daze gets the advantage with a kick in the shin!

Malone: OW! What was THAT for!?

Daze: For scaring me like that, you buffoon!

Malone: =(

Nikki: Malone pokes Daze in the stomach! Daze takes a step back!

Doughboy: Hey! That's what people do to ME!

(And with that said, Elian Gonzalez jumps out of nowhere and pokes the Doughboy in the chest. Suddenly, an unearthly roar comes out of the Doughboy! He grabs Gonzalez... FINAL GIGGLE(Rock Bottom) THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Elian is GONE.)

Doughboy: This war ain't over, Gonzalez!

(The Doughboy leaves.)

Nikki: Are... we still on?

Legion: I think so.

Time left: 3:30

Nikki: Well, um, Malone and Daze are still running around like idiots in the ring.

Legion: WAIT! DAZE WITH A DROP TOE HOLD?!

Nikki: Into a side headlock! But Malone slips out!

Legion: What's Malone got, now?

Nikki: A bicycle and a unicycle!?

Legion: Malone gets on the unicycle and starts cycling around the ring! He knocks off Daze's Halloween mask!

Nikki: I think I've seen everything.

Legion: Not *everything*.

Nikki: Oh. What haven't I seen?

Legion: ME IN BED, BABY! AHAHAHAHAHA! Er, wait... I'm acting like...

*SMACK!*

Legion: ...oy... JT...

Nikki: Bitch.

(JT briefly stops fighting with GP.)

JT: Stop describing yourself, Nikki.

*SMACK!*

JT: Doesn't that get old?

Nikki: No.

JT: Oh.

(GP spears JT as we get back to the action.)

Time left: 1:30

Nikki: Anyway, Daze is chasing Malone with that bicycle!

Legion: Hooray.

Nikki: Wait! Malone stops his unicycle! He's got a ukulele!

(Suddenly, Simon Seaman and Adam Wars come to ringside, toting musical instruments.)

Joey Malone: Hey, guys! It's time for everyone's favorite song!

Simon Seaman: Hit it!

(The Chalupa Cage Four starts playing "Erectile Dysfunction Junction" to a HUGE pop!)

Chalupa Cage Four: SO THERE WAS A SONG FOR YOU. BUT ONLY THE WORLD AND WE LIKED IT TOO. SO NEXT TIME YOU TRY PUT ON SOME KIND OF TRICK. WE'LL SIMPLY IGNORE YOU, YOU SIMPLETON TRICK. OLE! OLE! OOOOOPPPPAAAAAAHHHHH!

Time left: 0:00

(Seaman and Wars leave, as Malone and Daze suddenly realize that the time has expired. Daze and Malone stand in the center of the ring and... paper, rock, scissors?! Malone gets scissors! Daze gets paper! They nod... suddenly, JOEY HITS A VERTICAL SUPLEX! INTO THE COVER!)

Nikki: OH MY GOD! VERTICAL SUPLEX!

Legion: Daze landed rather softly, there! Malone with the cover! One...two... three!!

*ding, ding, ding!*

Meygon: The winner of this contest... JOEY MALONE!

(But then, suddenly, "I'm Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays as President Levine comes out to a chorus of boos. Daze gets up after selling a near-career ending vertical suplex.)

Levine: What the HELL is this? You're supposed to be wrestling, not performing a sideshow freak show! You haven't even wrestled!

(Daze gets a microphone.)

Daze: Actually, we have, you illogical twit! Just because you say we have to face each other for ten minutes doesn't mean that we have to WRESTLE each other for ten minutes! Idiot.

Malone: See? We're not as dumb as you are. Um, although I play a dumbass on TV!

Levine: You...! You God damn manipulative bastards! I had a plan for this occassion... I had just the plan...

(All of a sudden, Levine clicks his fingers, as the lights in the arena go out. They come back on, as we see Jax Stone and Dane Matthews in the ring. Matthews grabs Daze onto his shoulders, as he picks him up for Downtown Explosion. Malone gets rather odded out, as he turns around, right into "Dropped like a Stone." Matthews hits the Downtown Explosion, as Daze and Malone are down in the ring.)

Levine:YOU CAN'T OUTSMART ME YOU IDIOTS! YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! YOU'RE NOT! AND NEITHER IS THAT RAT BASTARD SYPHON FISSION!

Voice:That's Mr. Rat Bastard to you...

(We see an image come over the IWO-Tron, as we see none other than Discord chained to a wooden, silk bed. Syphon Fission comes into view. Levine's jaw just drops, as if he's seen a ghost.)

Fission:Hey Levine, payback's a bitch...see…I am fuming at you for what you did to my Quinn Morgan…so…why not hit it where it truly…deeply…hurts…

(Syphon just takes a nice seat on the bed and continues on.)

Fission: See…Mr. Game…you are being played by a cerebral assassin.

(Fission strokes the hair of Discord, who's helpless, attempting to scream out from where she's muffled.)

Fission: ... but that's not the only thing...

(Fission kicks the camera, causing almost instant static. We fade into the picture of Evan Levine, his face almost sweeling up with tears, and then, almost instantanious, into boiling rage. The camera slowly fades out to nothingness.)