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Monday Night Meltdown
12/11/2000
Live from Sacramento, California
Main Event
*World Title for North American for Tag Team Championship*
Evan Levine & LiGiL vs. Phelen Kell & High Flyer vs. the Suicide Kings
{After actions on Hostile Takeover, which haven't even been seen yet, Kell and Flyer desperatly want to take action on Evan Levine and the entire FWF squad. What will happen when these four men get into the ring? Throw in an actual cohesive tag team the Suicide Kings, and this will steal the show. To add a stipulation, should Levine be pinned, he loses his World title. Should Flyer be pinned, he loses his North American Championship, and if the Suicide Kings take the pinfall, they lose their precious tag Team Championships. Should any FWF team member or IWO team member interfer, they shall be fired on the spot, which include the Goldman duo.}

Syphon Fission vs. Sam Potright
{These two men gave it their all in the Major Push Tournament, and now, they go one on one here on Monday Night Meltdown, with one recieving what the other should have.}

Number One Contendership Match(Malone)
Psycho Jay vs. Joey Malone
{Should Psycho Jay win, he shall recieve a title shot at the world champion shortly, however most likely after Ice Age. Should Malone win... hell, we'll give him a shot sometime soon too :-)}

Al Coholic vs. Billy Ray(Syph)
{Al has to win every match between now and Ice Age, let's see if he can get by the man he was once feuding with before Heatstroke. Some unfinished business will be taken care of}

Mystery Birdhouse Match
*Simular to the deadly Mystery Death match, both men fight in a enclosed cage with feathers and barbed wire all over it. In each corner of the cage, there is a flaming birdhouse that may explode without warning during in the match. Each person may bring a weapon of their choice, but it must be covered in feathers. If the cage is destroyed, then both men are eaten alive by ill-tempered parrots. Weird things may also happen during the match, such as the cage walls closing in, the cage filling with water and so on. The first person to make a pinfall wins! And its for the Extreme title!*
0¿0 aka the Mysterious Birdman -c- vs. Mac D vs. Desiree Goldman
{What the hell is this? Goldman in the wrestling ring for the Extreme Championship! This can't be on her watch!!!! Mac D Debuts his hardcore self inside the Birdhouse, as he takes on the Extreme champion, with Desiree Goldman forced to participate?!?!}

Television Championship Matchup
Spaz -c- vs. "K-Mart" Kevin Martin vs. Shawn Carter
{These two have squared off in the past, and this'll be Kevin Martin's last chance at the Television title, for this month :-). We'll throw in Shawn Carter, since I saw some life in his body earlier this week.}

The Memorial Dogghouse Battle Royal!(Jack Night)
*You win this match by losing, being the first man out, being pinned by one someone else. The "Winner" will recieve a Paper Mache Trophy, while the match will continue, with the last man standing recieving a United States Championship Title Match*
Justin Shack, Scott Linx, Eric Reed, Phyre, Liquid Metal, Sparrow, Simon Seaman, and Rob Riot
{What could happen when a bunch of IWO superstars who haven't really talked much get into the same ring with one another? Could it be a huge list of firings? MAYBE! I know some of you guys haven't had matches yet, but we need ta see some life from ya this week.}
=======================
(We see none other than the IWO logo slowly fade in and out of the screen, while we hear the familiar heartbeat pulsate throughout the television speakers. This repeats three times as the logo stays on the screen, cemented in the center. Then, a bolt of lightning comes from the sky, erupting the logo into flames...
Slowly, the logo fades out as "Spiders" by System of a Down plays, highlighting some recent events of Hostile Takeover. We see Team CGI holding the tag team championships, as we then change into a scene of Flyer, mysteriously pondering his thoughts as we see LiGiL driving Kate through a table, Al Coholic and Scott Stone attacking him, all in three different faded shadows. We see Evan Levine in the hospital room, ready to inject the Prostate cancer, while slowly, we see none other than Phelen Kell lying face down in a pool of blood.

After highlights, we head into the ringside area, as we hear "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins playing, and the fans doing the wave. We pan around the crowd, seeing signs like "Da Game, Ey shold b Da Wolrd Chapon!" "Don't change the channel yet!" and "I hate the FWF and the IWO, we're the WWR when you need them" float around, as we pan down to Max Riot, Jason Storm, and Ashley Keller. They are all dressed like usual, suits and dresses and the such.)

MR:Fans, welcome to Hostile Takeover. I'm Max Riot, and with me is Jason Storm, and Ashley Keller.

AK:This is a Monday Night Meltdown of epic measures, mainly because I'll be damned if we don't see some sort of payback for the actions team FWF took last week.

JS:What the hell is going on tonight though! Evan Levine's world championship is on the line in a tag team match, and Desiree Goldman was booked in an Extreme title match!?!?

(LiGil enters the building... when Sam Potright stops him.)

Potright: Hey, man.

LiGil: What? Something bad happen?

Potright: No... not yet, anyway. But I've got a bad feeling... anyway, that's not what I want to talk to you about.

LiGil: Well, what, then?

Potright: Remember on Friday, when you chose to Palindrome Kate Young through that table?

LiGil: Yeah, that was good, wasn't it?

Potright: One question... WHY? What kind of sick, tempermental bastard are you?

LiGil: Woah! Hey, I do what I want to do.

Potright: Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone? Huh?

LiGil: I --

Potright: You don't, that's exactly it. I may have had to hold Flyer's face as you did it, but dammit, man, I'M MRRIED. I know what he's going through... hell, at Trick Or Treat 2, watching Beth go all the way down that
four-level cage... it made Lunatic Pandora come out! Trust me on this... you've pissed High Flyer off. This is not going to be a good night, man... you have to trust me on this.

LiGil: Aw, c'mon. You saw what happened on Friday! Flyer won't be able to do a damn thing.

Potright: You forgot about the main event, didn't you?

LiGil: Shit. Well, hell, I'll beat the hell out of him just the same. And I'll take the North American title, too. And... *cracks knuckles* maybe the FWF team can get some early shots on him.

Potright: Well... don't be so sure that I'll be there for you if you try something like that. I respect Flyer... even if he has used me to springboard himself to stardom. And I am not truly happy right now with your whole "let's beat up women" thing...

(LiGil walks off. Potright stares at him walking away... We fade into the backstage locker room area, as we see none other than High Flyer working on a door of a locker room. He seems to be putting the black lettering of the names onto the door, as he has spelled out "Hostile V.I.A.G.R.A." He looks at his work, unfinished, and nods to the North American Title, which is sitting inside a baby carriage.)

Flyer:Noah, don't you think that looks like it's been done by Jamie?

(Flyer steps back, as we can see it slopping downward.)

Flyer:Definitly done by Jamie...

(We see Phelen Kell walk by with his bags, as he seems to give Flyer a wave. Flyer jumps out of his shoes.)

Flyer:No! Phelen! You ruined the surprise!

(Kell just gives Flyer a wide-eyed look, as he wonders what's going on. He sees the doors, as his jaw just about drops.)

Flyer:What do you think... tag team partner?

Kell:Listen Flyer, I think... well, you don't have enough screws to finish the dining room set...

Flyer:I bought furniture now?

Kell:You never cease to amaze me Flyer...

Flyer:Thanks!

(Kell walks off, head lowered as Flyer shouts out to him.)

Flyer:Kell! Can I be in your movie?!?... We'll do lunch!

(Flyer turns around and continues to work on the door, as the camera fades into the ringside area. "I am your Boogie Man" By White Zombie plays over the pa system, as we see Evan Levine, Discord, Scott Linx, LiGiL, Desiree Goldman, Justin Goldman, the Prep Kids, and Sam Potright enter through the backstage area. Potright has the FWF flag wrapped around his body, as the entire "Team" make their way towards the ringside area. Levine seems to be mad as all hell, already, as he is the first one to grab a microphone.)

Evan Levine:What in the world is going on! I can't believe the idiocy of these people surrounding me, and I do not mean Team FWF. And you wonder why someone like myself defected?(Boos) Yeah, get it out now, because I want you all horse by the time I'm finished. I can't believe the gaul, who in the world booked both myself and Desiree Goldman in matches WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION!

(Levine adjusts his world title as he angerly looks into the camera.)

JS:Yeah! It's a travesty of Justice!

MR:Shut up you turncoat.

Levine:To think of someone as delicate, and as fragile as Desiree Goldman, fighting that sick bastard the Mysterious Birdman, just sends a chill up my spine. To even have Desiree in the same building with that sick freak tears me up, but what can I do, I'm only one man....

(Evan whips a ficticious tear from his eye.)

Levine:Of course, Trent is no longer a man, and I'm sure that eats up Phelen Kell...

(Levine passes the microphone to Desiree Goldman, as she grabs it out of his hands.)

Desiree Goldman:Now, I don't exactly know what's going on there in the back, but I want that guy, the publicist guy, to come out here right now. He's the last one to see this card before it went to print, and I want to know what is going on!

(A guy dressed in a white suit with a black tie walks out from the back with a microphone.)

Guy:Hey Desiree, my name's Stan.

Desiree Goldman:Stan huh? Well, Stan, sonny, listen up, because I want to know who told you to add my name to the Extreme Championship matchup?

Stan:Who? I'm not really at liberty to say right about now.

Desiree Goldman:Really? So, you aren't going to cooperate with Team FWF?

(Stan, wondering what she means, doesn't have time to respond.)

Desiree Goldman:Well, Stan, I want you to back to your desk, and I want you to clean it out, because you're fired. You have ten minutes...

(Stan, almost crying, gets to his knees. Justin Goldman grabs the microphone.)

Stan:But please! I have a wife, I have kids! I need my job!

Justin Goldman:Well, you should have thought about that before you published that card of yours... you do have only nine minutes now Stan...

(Stan gets up and tries to compose himself, as he leaves. Levine is laughing, as LiGiL grabs the microphone from Justin Goldman.)

LiGiL:Hey Flyer... how's Kate?

(Levine raises his hands as LiGiL gives him a high five.)

LiGiL:I told that, that skanky clad girl to not get in my way, and if she does, she's just going to have to face what you would have gotten. Just be thankful I didn't send you flying through that table, because if it was you, you wouldn't be coming out of that hospital. You see Flyer, I have a set goal, I have a set track, and you, my good sir, are in that track. As the train picks up momentum Flyer, leading into Ice Age, you will feel the pain... of the Palindrome.

(LiGiL hands the mic over to Sam Potright. Potright takes it, trying to keep covered by his FWF flag.)

Potright:The lights, you see them? I certainly see them, and those lights, up in the ceiling, symbolate where the IWO is going. We are going to the lights, the last waining desire of a falling company, and much like the computer stocks out there, the IWO has slowly taken a down turn, and by now, it's at a year long low. To be apart of something that has a failure magnitude of the IWO is just one thing I do not need in my life any more, and that is why the FWF, is the way to go. The FWF has young rising talent, just like when Flyer was pinned this saturday by DJ Smith, it was just proof that the FWF is truly on the rise, and the IWO, is simply declining. We have laid the cards on the table, and it's up to you to accept them...

(Potright hands the microphone back to Evan, as Evan seems to have a smile a mile wide.)

Evan Levine:As you can tell folks, we are a united force, set on destruction, and despair on each and every one of you folks out there. Psycho Jay felt the wrath when the FWF started it's takeover, and Kell, you've tasted your blood, you've felt the pain of blood leaving your body, and surrounding you. Kell, you've been destroyed... both physically, and mentally...

("Sober" by Tool hits the pa system as the fans immediatly rise to their feet in cheers. Phelen Kell walks out from the backstage area, microphone in hand of course.)

Phelen Kell:Well Evan, it seems that you finally did something last week on Hostile Takeover, to actually have something behind those words you spout. You may have taken away Trent's manhood, but Evan, you still haven't taken my desire. You've taken everything away from Trent, his manhood, his career, but Evan, Friday, you destroyed a helpless man. What happens when you go into Monday Night Meltdown, head into the main event today with a man, that has blood rage on his mind? What happens when you face your worst fear, a Legend, on a warpath...

("Loco" by Coal Chamber hits the pa system as we see High Flyer walk out from the back, carring the North American title, slung over his shoulder. Flyer and Kell stand next to one another as if a united force. Flyer is handed the microphone from Kell.)

Flyer:Hey LiGiL, you must feel on cloud nine, taking on and destroying a helpless, pregnant women, now don't you? You think that you can beat on Kate, and not pay for it? You think that I won't do the same exact thing to your girl over there? Where is she, she in the back?

LiGiL:You wouldn't do it Flyer...

Flyer:Yeah, I'm not spineless. I don't bring people into this that shouldn't be, because LiGiL, tonight, when we head into that main event, I promise you all that Kell's bloodshed, shall be MY bloodshed...

Evan Levine:That's all fine and dandy, but you're only two men. You can't possibly stand up to a force this large, a force this strong!

Kell:Strong? Strong Evan? You call what you do strong? I say the only thing you're playing is the numbers game...

Evan:And it damn sure seems like I'm winning, aren't I Phelen? Who the hell else could ever stand up to Team FWF, who the hell else would stand up to Evan Levine? There's not a man out there that wants to get in my way, and that is damn sure shown by your feeble attempts to stop me. Phelen, there is no one else, you're fighting a war... you can not win...

("It's All About The Pentiums" by Weird Al Yankovic hits the pa system, as the fans litterally go nuts. Out from the back walks Team CGI, as Syphon Fission has the microphone.)

Syphon Fission:Hey Evan, I'm SICK of being pushed around by your little band of cronies, and I'm sick of you in general, parading around with that world title on your shoulder? That, in anyone's mind, will truly make a man sick...

Sam Potright:The shades of green are haunting your Syphon... believing you should be where I am, and I should be there, without anything to speak of.

Syphon Fission:So what if I'm getting angered about my push, that's because you recieved one after Utter Obliteration, and Potright, I want to know... Where is the damn justice! Where has the justice gone! What I want to return to the IWO is something Evan doesn't have, and something that LiGiL doesn't have... talent...

(The words pierce through Evan as he grabs the microphone.)

Evan:LISTEN TO ME, YOU NO TALENT KITTY LITTER WASTE OF A CHECK, IF YOU DON'T SHAPE UP, THEY'LL BE FIRINGS GALORE, AND YOU WILL BE THE CENTER OF IT!

Syphon Fission:You can't fire me Evan, if you can't talk...

(Syphon Fission, 0¿0 and Joey Malone start racing towards the ring. Phelen Kell and High Flyer follow, as they all hit the ring.)

JS:YES! BLOOD!

MR:0¿0 JUST BROKE HIS BIRDHOUSE OVER THE HEAD OF SAM POTRIGHT!

AK:This is chaotic, and here comes the men in strips to clear it up. I'm not even sure, what's going on with Team CGI?

MR:Maybe they're defending something other than a peanut?

JS:No way, they must be doing this for that Master Derp guy...

MR:Psycho Jay?

JS:That's it...

**Commercial Break**

::Camera opens to the ring, then "Hellbound" by Eminem featuring D-12 blasts as Kyle The Kow leads out Al Coholic and Scott Stone..::

Al Coholic: I GOT THE LIFE!! GOD DON'T MIND!! GOT MY BEER!! YEAH!!NOW! Down to business.. People are wondering why I did what I did? Well... heres my answer..

Scott Stone: WE DONT LIKE YOU!

Al Coholic: Thats what we are called.. We equals me, Scott, and Kyle The Kow! So We Don't Like You! So live with it! Now... down to the business part of this interview... There are a few people we dont like.. Psycho Jay, yes you! Why don't you come on down!

::"Divine" by KoRn plays.. no one comes, then Jay comes from the crowd..::

AK: It's Psycho Jay! He attacks Al from behind! He is nailing Al! Stone see's, turns around grabs one of Al's beer bottles and bashes it over Jay's head!! JAY IS UNCONSCIOUS!

JS: Al, a little shaked up, gets back up and now he, and Stone are stomping away on Psycho Jay.. Oh these degenerates from We Don't Like You are real bastards...

MR: Stone gets Jay and plants a DDT right into the canvas! Stone now is going up top.. ELBOW DROP! He gets the beaten' up Jay and gives him to Al..HAPPY HOUR ONTO THE GLASS PIECES! Now Al locks in the Bitter Beerface! Jay is unconscious!

AK: It's still on! Stone grabs the microphone!

Scott Stone: JAY! At Ice Age... I CHALLENGE YOU! Come on... FEAR ME BITCH!! Now.. Lets go!

::Al and Stone and Kyle begin to out of the ring.. As they are out, Al puts
the unconscious body of Psycho Jay onto Kyle The Kow.. They go to the back,
the camera follows them.. They get into a car and drive to the local zoo...
They walk through the gates, and go into a tent.. There is a huge donkey..::

Al Coholic: Awwww poor Psycho Jay...

Scott Stone: We figured... that since you like to hump peoples head.. Why
don't you find out how it is to be humped! DONKEY! Do your job!

::The donkey walks over to Jay and sits on Jay and moves around...He is just
staying there..::

Scott Stone: And to make sure you don't get out...

::Al gets a lock, as they go out, he locks the cage inside the tent so Jay
can not escape..::

Al Coholic: Ta ta..

::They go into their car and go back to the arena.. as they get out..::

Scott Stone: Dude that totally ruled!

Al Coholic: I know, but were not done yet.. Here lets toast!

::They go into Al's locker room as Al opens the door there is a figure is in
there..::

Al Coholic: Woah.. Who the fuck are you?

::Stone turns on the lights and the figure throws something and it hits
Stone, knocking him temporarily out cold::

Voice: We never finished at Fear The Darkness..

Al Coholic: Look Kell, we have nothing against you..

Kell: Oh, but you do.. I know you Al..

Al Coholic: Oh well..

::Knock knock on the door, in tramples Kyle The Kow knocking the door onto Phelen Kell, Kell is down and Al is standing on top of Phelen Kell..::

Al Coholic: I name this.. AL COHOLIC LAND!! Now Scott.. SCOTT!! Come on were not done yet!!

Scott Stone: Owwwww.. HOld on!

::Stone locks Kell in the bathroom, as they leave Kell gets out::

(The camera follows High Flyer as he walks down the hallway... when a stack of crates gets pushed in his way.)

Flyer: Hey!

MR: Team FWF! Evan and LiGil have blindsided High Flyer!

JS: HA HA! No wonder the FWF ruled on HT... and no wonder Kate Young's in the hospital!

MR: Evan and LiGil are beating the merciful hell out of Flyer! They're choking him, stomping him... LiGil has a chair! He raises it up... THERE'S POTRIGHT! HE PULLS THE CHAIR DOWN!

LiGil: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Potright: WE MAY BE GREAT, BUT WE'RE GONNA PLAY BY THE DAMN RULES! IF YOU ATTACK HIM WITH ANY WEAPONRY... I AM NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS! Got it?

LiGil: .... Yeah. I got it.

(Potright walks off and LiGil turns to attack Flyer again...)

MR: FLYER HITS A DDT ON LIGIL! EVAN'S HOLDING HIS HEAD! THE JAWING BETWEEN THE TWO FWF MEMBERS MUST HAVE THROWN HIM OFF GUARD!

AK: Was this a setup by Potright and Flyer?

MR: Could it be? Could there be something below these company lines?

JS: Who knows...

** Commercial Break **

T.V. Title Match
Spaz -c- vs. Horatio vs. Shawn Carter

MR: We are back! We have a three way for the IWO Television Title right here.



JS: Horatio is out. He hit his head in the collision and he is hold his head.

AK: That’s funny! Now it’s a average match.

MR: Spaz now beating on Carter with rights and lefts. Carter is trying to block the punches, but he is not able to fend off the flurry of punches.

JS: Carter hits Spaz in the gut with his knee…Spaz continues punching!

AK: Spaz grapples Carter…fall away suplex. COVER!

One…

MR: Kick out after one! Carter is not going down that quick.

JS: Now Spaz picks up Carter off the canvas…uppercut! Spaz is dominating this early.

MR: And Horatio is still rolling on the mat. Spaz picks up Horatio…Spaztic Combustion! Spaztic Combustion! Cover!

One…

Two…

Three…

AK: Carter jumps in to make the save! He almost lost the match! Horatio is basically dead.

JS: Now Carter on the offensive. He his hitting him with rights…jabbing at Spaz now…Spaz grabs his fist! Spaz pulls him in…

MR: Carter clotheslines him hard with the left arm! Spaz falls to the mat! Carter now stomping on the down Spaz. He looks over at Horatio…who is dead might I add…suplex on Horatio.

AK: Come on…he could be in a coma. He is dead! Get him out of there…before he becomes Dan Kordiac.

MR: Spaz is up now. He kicks Carter in the gut…he sets him up for a piledriver…PILEDRIVER ON SHAWN CARTER! Carter is holding his neck.

JS: Spaz picks up Carter…knee the back of Carter.

AK: Spaz picks up Shawn Carter… Carter stands up. Spaz is charging toward him…Spaz is met with a clothesline. He is knocked down hard on the outside!

JS: Guess who has the advantage!

MR: Shawn picks up Spaz, and slams his head against the guardrail. He slams it again…and again! Shawn is not looking back here…because he can not afford to!

JS: Shawn is taking Spaz toward us. He slams his head against the announce table. Spaz is dazed! Shawn has the right strategy, bring it right to Spaz!

AK: Look at Horatio…he trys to get up…and he falls right back down! HA!

MR: Shawn picks up Spaz for a military press…he pumps him in the air…AND HE DROPS HIM ON THE TABLE! THE TABLE IS CRACKED…AND SPAZ IS IN OBVIOUS PAIN!

JS: That was a close one huh Ashley?

AK: I think Horatio is the winner here!

MR: Look at Shawn…he is laughing at Spaz! He climbs on the to the top turnbuckle…HE IS GOING TO GO FOR A LEG DROP ON SPAZ!!!

JS: HE JUMPS…

MR: HE HITS THE LEG DROP RIGHT ACROSS SPAZ’S THROAT!!! SPAZ IS OUT OF THIS QUICK!!! SPAZ IS ABOUT TO BE UPSET!!!

JS: SHAWN THROWS SPAZ BACK INTO THE RING!!! HE IS IN…HE COVERS!!!

One…

Two…

Three!

JS: Shawn WON!!

MR: NO HE DIDN’T…!!!

AK: HORATIO FELL ON TOP OF THE TWO AND BROKE UP THE FALL!

JS: SPAZ’S LUCKY HIS ARM WAS EXTENDED!!!

MR: Shawn is celebrating…does he not know that Spaz had his arm on the rope? He is giving Spaz time to recover!

JS: Spaz is moving…Carter has his arm up…he is taunting the crowd! He thinks he won!

MR: Spaz is up to one knee…he is back to his feet, but he looks dazed!!! He charges toward Carter!!!

JS: Shawn is talking with the ref…the ref is explaining to him that the match is not over!!! BAM!!! HE IS MET WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!

MR: Shawn is on the ground…Spaz stomps down on him! Spaz is looked on Shawn! Spaz picks him up…throws him into the ropes…TILT-O-WHIRL BACKBREAKER ON Shawn!!! Spaz is down too!!! He grabs his knee!

JS: Spaz put on one helluva move…but his left knee felt all of it!

MR: Spaz gets up…he is walking with a little imbalance towards Shawn Carter!

JS: Spaz is walking toward Shawn…who is trying to get up…Spaz picks him up…scoop slam! Spaz runs into the ropes…elbow drop on Shawn!

MR: Spaz gets up…he goes to the outside…he grabs a chair!!!

JS: NO DQ…RIGHT ASHLEY?!?!

AK: GO HORATIO

JS: Spaz is back in the ring…Shawn is getting up slowly…BAM!!! CHAIR SHOT TO THE CRANIUM!!!

MR: Shawn’s head is imprinted on the steel chair…he collapsed to the mat! Spaz is showing the crowd the chair! Spaz is in control right now!

JS: Spaz looks at Shawn…down on the mat…HE STARTS BEATING HIM WITH THE CHAIR!!! Shawn IS GETTING BEAT BY SPAZ AND A STEEL CHAIR!

MR: THE REF GRABS THE CHAIR FROM SPAZ…SPAZ GRABS IT BACK…HORATIO GETS UP! SPAZ JUST SLAMMED THE CHAIR ACROSS HORATIO’S SKULL! SPAZ IS OBSESSED!!!

AK: Horatio gets up this time…ANOTHER DAMN SPAZTIC COMBUSTION! HE COVERS!

One…

Two…

Three!



Ring Annoucer: Your winner and still champion…SPAZ!

MR: Fans…Spaz wins! We will be right back!

(The scene opens in the back as Evan Levine is entering the building with Desiree Goldman. The arena starts to boo as suddenly they are approached by the Suicide Kings and the fans can be heard cheering now.)

Evan Levine: What in the hell do you want?

Desiree: If your think you gonna get this title tonight, well your dead wrong my little IWO'ers!

Ryan King: Nah... it's not like that. I mean yeah... we are gonna "take" that title tonight!

Evan Levine: And just how do you expect to accomplish that... mid carder?

Jeff King: He's gonna Roe Sham Boe you for it!

Evan Levine: ...?

Desiree Goldman: Roe Sham Boe? What the hell is that!?

Ryan King: The first one to fall down and scream like a little bitch is the loser!

Evan Levine: Oh, hehehe... I think I am gonna enjoy this.

(Evan takes a fighting stance.)

Evan Levine: Let's go boys...

Jeff King: Wait, he gets to go first since it was our idea!

Evan Levine: Go first...what the...Eeeeeee!!!!!!

(Ryan kicks Evan right in the nuts and instantly he drops and clutches himself, screaming like a little bitch!)

Jeff King: Sweet! Dude, we win!

(They high five!)

Desiree Goldman: Hey what the hell kinda win is that! I outta get security on your ass!

Ryan King: Quick Jeff... Roe Sham Boe her!

(Jeff rares his leg back and kicks her... but no man... no screaming like little bitch...she laughs.)

Desiree Goldman: Morons! Hahahahaha!

Ryan King: Ummmm...uhhhh... HOE SHAM BOE HER MAN!

Jeff King: What the hell is that!

Ryan King: Ummmm...I got it! A TEXAS TITTY TWISTER!

(The scene goes to slow motion.)

Desiree Goldman: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!

(All of a sudden, we lose the feed. When we return, Desiree is completely gone, as is our World Champion.)

Ryan King: Man we rule... Where'd they go?

Jeff King: Ugh... dude I think that gave me a hard on!

Ryan King: Sick... this chick is ass ugly!

Jeff King: Wait...

(Jeff pulls out a bottle of Tequila.)

Jeff King: False Alarm!

Ryan King: Hey, what's that for?

Jeff King: Oh you'll see... come on and I'll tell you about it.

**Commercial Break**

The Memorial Dogghouse Battle Royal!
*You win this match by losing, being the first man out, being pinned by one someone else. The "Winner" will recieve a Paper Mache Trophy, while the match will continue, with the last man standing recieving a United States Championship Title Match*
Mike Marchese, Donnie Daze, Oscar, Justin Shack, Scott Linx, Eric Reed, Phyre, Liquid Metal, Sparrow, Simon Seaman, and Rob Riot

JS: The jobber match of tonight. I hate jobbers.

AK: Oh Jason, you hate every manority.

MR: Ummm.. a jobber isn't a manority.

AK: Oh well! The IWO told me they're not paying me to be creative! Their paying me to act cute and give head!

MR:......

JS: This match is constructed for these people! Look at Rob Riot! He's a puss from Britain that thinks "Playtimes Over"! And we have my favorite.. OSCAR!! HAHAHA!! OSCAR.. A GUY NAMED OSCAR!!

AK: Whatever the case may be, we're going to see some great action from these guys!

*Suddenly, all 11 of the wrestlers in this match walk into the ring. Nobody is doing anything. The bell rings. And then, suddenly, jobbing breaks out! Everyone is leaping into everyones hands and trying to get them to hurt them!*

MR: Oscar, Mike Marchese and Liquid Metal all leap into Donnie Dazes arms!! And Donnie Daze powerbombs all three of them at once!!

AK: Donnie Daze falls down exausted already!

JS: Simon Seaman kicks Oscar in the face! And he flies over top rope! Oscars head has just been tooken off! And HE WINS THE MATCH!!

The "Winner": Oscar

*"We Are The Champions" plays as Oscar runs around the ring gitty as a schoolgirl*

Oscar: YAY! I AM THE CHAMPION! AT LAST!

*Oscar runs off to try and get his US title push.. and the reff gives him the Paper Mache Trophy*

Oscar: ITS MADE OUT OF PAPER!! HOW BEAUTIFUL!! I WILL NAME YOU OSCAR JUNIOR!

*Oscar gets a paper cut with a razor sharp edge of the trophy.. he runs back to his locker room crying..*

JS: Idiot.

AK: Sparrow and Donnie Daze break out into a fight! Sparrow kicks Donnie Daze to the stomach! He tries to push Daze over the top rope! But Daze flips him over his shouldiers and he falls out of the ring! He is out of this match!

Eliminated: Sparrow

JS: Shack tries to leap at Mike Marchese and he gets him in a Lou Thesz press... but Marchese holds on to the legs! Shack's trying to get out of the pinfall! One... two... Shack reverses into getting pinned, himself! One... two.. Marchese reverses again to get pinned! ONE... TWO... THREE! SHACK'S GONE!

Eliminated: Justin Shack

AK: Phyre is "brawling" with Rob Riot! But Daze gets behind Phyre... DAZED AND CONFUSED! He gets Riot... DAZED AND CONFUSED! Now Daze drags them both to the center of the ring and climbs up top... DAZE BLAZE! DAZE BLAZE! NOW HE PUTS BOTH OF THEIR ARMS ON TOP OF EACH OTHER! ONE...
TWO.... THREE!

Eliminated: Phyre and Rob Riot

JS: Liquid Metal tries a hurracanrana and gets it on Seaman, but Seaman holds on to Metal's pinfall! One... two... three!

MR: WAIT A MINUTE! HERE HE IS! HERE HE IS! THE KING OF ALL JOBBERS! IT'S ROBINSON THE SLOTH!

Robinson the Sloth: Hello boys and girls!

JS: Robinson the Sloth enters the ring! There's the Sloth Kick on Linx! He collapses into Seaman who catches him and drops him down on top of himself! One... two... three! Linx is eliminated!

Eliminated: Scott Linx

MR: Reed tries a superkick, ducked by Marchese... MARCHESE DROP ON REED! Reed's out, and Marchese puts Reed on top of him! One... two... THREE! REED IS ELIMINATED!

Eliminated: Eric Reed

AK: Robinson the Sloth is still in the ring... wait a minute... Daze is sending Marchese into the ropes... Marchese reverses... ...DUDLEY DEATH DROP BY MARCHESE AND SEAMAN ON DAZE AND ON TOP OF ROBINSON THE SLOTH! SEAMAN HOLDS ON TO DAZE'S HEAD FOR THE DAZE COVER! ONE... TWO... THREE!

Eliminated: Donnie Daze

MR: Now it's down to Seaman and Marchese! And they both fall down to try and trick the other to go for the cover! But wait! Robinson the Sloth drags himself over to Marchese... AND A BIG HUGE ASS SPLASH ON
MARCHESE! Now Robinson the Sloth drags Marchese on top of Seaman for the cover...ONE... TWO... THREE!!!

Eliminated: Mike Marchese

*ding, ding, ding*

Meygon: The "winner"... er, loser... er... well, I don't know! But the something of the match is... SIMON SEAAAAMMMMAAAAANNNNN!!!!

(Seaman raises his arms as we fade to a commercial Break.)

**Commercial Break**

Al Coholic vs. Billy Ray

JS: And here we go. Another good match.

MR: Al Coholic versus “The Drunken Bastard” Billy Ray.

Ring Announcer: THIS CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL…



Ring Announcer: First........from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina....he stands 6'7 and weighs 269 lbs....the former IWO World Champion....AL.........COHOLIC!!!



MR: Al has to win all his matches to get what he wants. Is this the night loses?

<“Rock The Party” by POD strikes up as Billy Ray comes down the ramp.>

Ring Announcer: From Oakland California....he stands 6'2 and weighs 272 lbs....the former IWO Pacific Champion....BILLY.........RAY!!!

MR: The tension here is so thick you could use a knife to cut it. Both men are in the ring now, and stare down each other. the two men start hitting each other with lefts and rights. >

JS: They just started going at it, the bell hasn’t even rang.



AK: Match has officially started.

MR: The two go at it with lefts and rights.

JS: Hey, this could go on all night

MR: Billy goes right at Al Coholic’s ribs with some vicious punches. He tangles Al up, and goes for a suplex. Al just pushes Billy to the mat with authority. Billy is thriving in pain. The crowd is nuts.

AK: This thing barely started!

JS: Ha! He’s gonna fell that tomorrow.

MR: Coholic now on the offensive. He starts stomping the hell out of Billy. He pulls him to his feet. Scoop slam.

JS: These two are going too damn easy. COME ON, GET TO HAMMERING EACH OTHER!

AK: All they have to do is go easy. The fans will love it just the same.

JS: That’s because they’re stupid. It does not take a lot to impress morons.

MR: Watch it. Al just picks him up again and grabs him by the throat. Billy brushes it away. Billy punches him right in the face. He goes for a chop block, which knocks Coholic back.

JS: Basically an even match.

MR: Billy now goes into the ropes…comes back and meets Al with one helluva clothesline…Coholic is down! THE FANS ARE CHEERING!

AK: WHAT A CLOTHESLINE!

MR: Billy picks up Al…HE SETS HIM UP FOR THE BEER BOMB…HE HITS IT!!! COVER!!!

JS: HAHAHA!!! I KNEW AL WAS OUT OF HIS LEAGUE!

ONE…

TWO…

THR…

MR: HE KICKED OUT!!!

JS: WHAT?!?!

MR: HE KICKED OUT, SOMEHOW…SOMEWAY…BILLY IS IN SHOCK!

AK: Its Al…what else do you expect?

MR: Billy is arguing with the referee. Coholic gets up pretty gingerly.

AK: That had to take a chunk out of the tank of Al…

MR: Coholic pushes Billy into the ref…the ref hit the turnbuckle…he is out!

JS: Damn ref!

MR: Coholic hits Billy right in the temple, and kicks him in the gut. He picks him up in a military press. He pumps him three times and throws him to the outside. Jesus…the fans love it! Al on the top turnbuckle. HE POINTS TO THE CROWD…HE GOES FOR AN ELBOW DROP OF THE TOP…BILLY MOVES!!! COHOLIC GOT THE CONCRETE WITH HIS ELBOW!!!

JS: This is going to be a long night!

MR: Now both men thrive in pain on the outside. Billy gets up, holding his left ankle.

JS: Stop the match, Billy is hurt! It is not fair.

AK: What about Coholic…dumbass!

JS: NO ONE CARES!

AK: That’s the point!

MR: Billy looks do at Coholic. He grabs Al’s elbow and throws it on the concrete! Al’s arm looks pretty bad…and Billy is coming toward us…

Billy: This is it! I am ending his career tonight!

JS: YES!

AK: Shut up!

MR: He grabs a folding chair. He is going toward Al, who is still in pain. Billy sets him arm up in the chair…don’t tell me…

JS: HE IS GONNA BREAK THE ARM!!! YES!!!

MR: HE STOMPS ON THE CHAIR…AL’S ARM HAS GOT TO BE BROKEN!!! BILLY KEEPS ON STOMPING..AND NOW HE IS JAW JACKING WITH THE FANS!

JS: The damage is done…

MR: Al is getting up…SOME HOW AL COHOLIC IS GETTING UP!!! HE PICKS UP THE CHAIR…AND SLAMS BILLY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! THE FANS GO NUTS!

JS: NOOOOOOOO!

AK: YESSSSSSS!

MR: AL KEEPS ON SLAMMING THAT CHAIR INTO BILLY!!! AL TELLS BILLY TO GET UP! BILLY GETS UP SLOWLY…AND IS MET WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO HIS FOREHEAD! HE IS BUSTED OPEN!

JS: Great…Billy is bleeding…and the fans are enjoying it!

MR: Al Coholic picks up Billy and slams his head into the guard rail. Al Coholic punches Ray right in the jaw, and he falls. He picks himself up and hits a low blow on Coholic…Billy now on the offensive…Billy picks up
Coholic and throws him into the guard rail, and then does a running drop kick to gut…Coholic spits up some blood…

JS: What a kick…he broke his ribs…ha!

MR: Billy goes and grabs the chair…and cracks it over his skull…AL COHOLIC IS ON HIS KNEES AND IS BROKEN WIDE OPEN! BILLY GRABS AL’S HEAD AND SHOWS IT TO THE CAMERAMAN!

Billy: This is what happens when you fuck with the best!

JS: AHEM!

AK: Your sick!

MR: Billy now grabs the ring steps…and is met by a chair…THE CHAIR COLLIDES WITH THE STEPS…HE IS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEPS…BILLY IS DOWN…AND AL HITS THE STAIRS WITH THE CHAIR! THE FANS GO NUTS!

JS: Come on ref…get up…

AK: He’s out for a long time…enjoy this!

MR: Coholic throws the chair down, and holds his arm…

AK: That assault earlier has to have taken its toll…he has fought through that pain…

JS: WHAT ABOUT BILLY?

AK: NO ONE CARES!

MR: Billy is pushing the stairs aside…how can he…

JS: Billy is thriving in pain…and falls back down to one knee…but still comes…Coholic is using his one good arm to set up a table…Billy comes charging toward him and hits him in the head. Billy finishes setting up that
table in front of us…and grabs Al. They come toward the announce table. Billy and Al are on it! Billy sets Coholic up for a DDT, but COHOLIC WILL NOT BUDGE! AL GRABS BILLY…BRAINBUSTER…THREW THE TABLE IN FRONT OF US! JESUS CHRIST…THIS IS CARNAGE!!!

JS: MY GOD!

MR: Coholic up now…he picks up the limp body of Billy Ray…and gives him a DDT on the outside…

AK: Billy is dead!

MR: Al Coholic goes back to the ring…he climbs the turnbuckle…HE GOES FOR A BODY SPLASH…AND MISCALCULATES HIS DROP…HE LANDS JUST SHORT OF BILLY RAY…THIS COULD BE THE TURNING POINT OF THE MATCH!

JS: BILLY! BILLY!

MR: Billy gets up…some how…and puts Coholic on our table…

JS: OH SHIT!

MR: Billy climbs into the ring…and signals to the crowd…HE DOES A FROGSPLASH! IT CONNECTS!!! OUR TABLE IS IN PIECES, COHOLIC IS OUT OF IT, AND BILLY HAS HAD THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF HIM! HE STARTS TO COUGH BLOOD…JESUS GOD WHAT A MATCH!

JS: Billy has the tempo now…

AK: If he can get himself up…

MR: Billy leans on the guardrail, and looks at Coholic…does he know that Al Coholic is out of the game!

JS: COME ON BILLY!!!

MR: Billy climbs to his feet, and picks up Al Coholic…he throws him into the ring…he kicks the ref lightly to see if he is out…the ref gets up gingerly…

JS: FINALLY! I THIN HE WAS SLEEPING!

AK: No one cares!

MR: Billy then goes down by Coholic…and locks him up in the BITTER BEER FACE!!! JESUS, HE IS RIPPING AT AL WITH AL’S OWN MOVE!!! AL IS OUT!!! THE REF LOOKS AT COHOLIC…HE OPENS HIS EYES!!! HE IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!!!

Fans: AL…AL…AL…

MR: THE FANS ARE ON AL COHOLICS SIDE…COHOLIC IS DRAGGING HIS BODY…HE IS FIGHTING THE PAIN OF THE BITTER BEER FACE!

JS: HE IS GONNA GIVE UP! COME ON…TAP OUT!

MR: BILLY IS SHOCKED…COHOLICIS FIGHTING TOWARD THE ROPES! HE REACHES HIS LEG… HE GOT IT!!! HE GOT TO THE ROPE!

JS: NO!!!

MR: BILLY IS FIGHTING WITH THE REF AGAIN!!! AL GETS UP…HE CATCHES BILLY, SETS HIM UP FOR A ROCK BOTTOM…

JS: NO!

MR: BILLY HITS AL WITH SOME ELBOWS TO THE HEAD…COHOLIC LETS GO…Billy goes charging toward Coholic…AND IS MET WITH A SPINE-BUSTER…COHOLIC SIGNALS TO THE CROWD…BITTER BEER FACE!!! BITTER BEER FACE!!! BITTER BEER FACE!!! BILLY RAY IS TAPPING OUT!!!



Ring Announcer: YOUR WINNER……AL COHOLIC!!!

AK: I know Al would do it.

JS: Shut up…he got lucky.

MR: Billy Ray taps out to the Bitter Beer Face! We will be right back!


(The scene flashes to the back where we hear there has been come disturbance?)

Cameraman: This better not be a prank...

(He rounds the corner and see's TDM laid out on the concrete... remains of a Tequila bottle are seen laying around and 2 fiqures are walking off in the distance... some shiny causes a shine in the camera lense as they fade out.)

Cameraman: Whoa... this is some cool shit... but what a waste of good Tequila!

(Suddenly two men walk up in white suits)

Man 1: What a disgrace to our disgraceful country! I think we need to teach these guys some lessons.

Man 2: They will find out the rules that have been set for...

(Suddenly Joey Malone walks in and grabs them by the collars and drags them off.)

Joey Malone: Come... you are being saved for my next promo idiots!

Man 1: We are not idiots... we are the....

{Fades into Kestler and the Hardcore Isosceles Triangle sitting in a room...}

Kestler "And that's why I think that Mongolian Woofing Cough is a transmutated form of Discord's herpes complex."

HIT "That was the longest description I have ever heard and in such horrid detail that it should never be uttered again."

{HIT gets up and leaves. In walks a VP Evan midget who thinks he's Freud for some reason...}

VP Evan Freud "Hello Mr. Kestler. I'm just hear to say that you have an inferiority complex that makes you think that you have to be immature and shit yo."

Kestler "Derp?"

{In walks Sigmund Freud...}

Freud "Hello Evan, I saw you try to psychoanalyse Psycho Jay earlier and now Rob Kestler. Please stop because it's embarrassing."

VP Evan Freud "Or else what will you do!? HUH?!! NOTHING! I'm better than you!"

Freud "Fine Evan, we'll do it your way. The reason that you keep calling Psycho Jay and people with his personality type immature is because you are projecting your own fears and down falls onto him. You dislike him
because he disrupts the order that you like to maintain, or at least you think you maintain. You see your downfalls in life as something that separates you from everyone else. So, knowing in your own brain that most people won't accept you for whatever reason you seek to gain favor with people of power in hopes of advancing your own personal agenda. Your mostly sheltered family life and life in general has lead you to believe that your way of thinking is the only way of thinking because you have conformed your thought process to be very similar to that of your family or friends. This has left you maladapted to deal with people whose ideals and ideas are not
congruent with your own. You then find something in life to put all of your energy in, not for the benefit of others but to satisfy your own internal drive to hold power and gain acceptance. This is where your wrestling career comes in. You have always hated people who don't agree with whatever you say, you have favored those who have with fears that if they were not favored that they would no longer associate with you. Indeed, you never managed to mature completely and may not have passed the latent stage of human development meaning that you have a lot of stored sexual frustration which you unleash on these people whom you have come to dislike or even hate. Also you will boast at great length of your achievements and if someone was to point out even a minor flaw you feel that they are 'hating you' or otherwise discontent with you as a person. In reality your striving for superiority has gotten to the point where you are become malignant on the society in general. You aren't out for the greater good, just the good of feeling greater."

VP Evan Freud :-Þ

Freud "And I'm done for today."

{Freud leaves and VP Evan Freud runs after him continuing to stick his tongue out at him in a very mature way...}

Kestler "Man, I wish Cassie was here. She would have thought that was so silly!"

{Cuts to Cassie running through a field of cotton...}

Cassie "Yay! It's so soft and silly!"

Shawn Carter Midget "Easy for you to say."

{Shawn Carter midget continues picking cotton as we fade back to Kestler...}

Kestler "I wonder was Kevin Martin is doing."

{Kevin Martin walks by...}

Kestler "Hey, let's go throw garbage around!"

K-Mart "OK!"

Kestler "Let's get more people so this will be really fun!"

K-Mart "OK!"

{Rob Kestler psychically contacts the following people: Psycho Jay, Gunnar Smith, The Suicide Kings, Mike Marchese, Al Coholic, Vincent, Chris Davidson, Tony Davis, High Flyer, Schitzo Tod, AWS Man (also known as
Bill), Butt Thrillagin, Wiggy D, PaiN, George Franklin, Joe Mielo, Joe Johnson, Wesley Sanders head as a Urinal, Mike Extreme's Dead Whore Mother's Tombstone as a Toilet Seat, Mike Extreme, Phelen Kell, Teve Tobs, Fetus
Boy, Capital Punishment, Hardcore Isosceles Triangle, Joey Malone, Gee, Are, Justin Shack, Spaz, Kyle the Kow, "K-Mart" Kevin Martin, Mac D, and Billy Ray...}

Kestler {Psychically to everyone} "Meet at Donnie Dazes house, we'll have fun!"

{Fades to everyone listed as they're standing outside of Donnie Daze's yard holding a bag of garbage...}

Kestler "Go!"

{Everyone starts chucking garbage into Donnie Daze's yard. Evan Levine midget walks up...}

Evan Levine Midget "What are you all doing?"

Butt Thrillagin "Throwing garbage silly!"

ELM "ME TOO!!!"

{The Evan Levine Midget starts pulling used condoms out of his pockets and throwing them in his yard. Everyone stops and looks at him...}

Joe Mielo "Man, that's disgusting to even me."

{Psycho Jay grabs the Evan Levine midget and throws him into Donnie Daze's yard. Donnie Daze peeks his head out of the front window...}

Donnie Daze "Hey, I can take all of the other garbage and even the used condoms but please, throwing THAT in my yard is just disgraceful."

Kestler "Weesa sowry."

Donnie Daze "It's alright."

Kestler :-)

{Fades to announcers.}

MR:What the hell, how many freakin times is Rob Kestler going to be on this card?

JS:I'm guessin... *Looks at tablet* 221 times.

AK:What's your math?

JS:Oh, no math, I'm just writing down how many pornography videos I've boughten off of him since last year...

::Scene opens up to Coholic and Stone talking...::

Al Coholic: Now, to be fair to everyone, we should go to the ring and do an interview!

Scott Stone: YEAH!

JS:Oh no...

::"Hellbound" by Eminem featuring D-12 blasts as Al Coholic and Scott Stone come dancing to the ring, chours to a mix-reaction..::

Scott Stone: I GOT THE... wait thats your line!

Al Coholic: Yea, stupid! I GOT THE LIFE!! GOD DON'T MIND!! GOT MY BEER!! YEA!!!

Scott Stone: And... we dont like you!!

Al Coholic: Yep! HAH! Well, ya' know what they say, what goes around, comes around.. but thats not the case tonight..

("Loco" by Coal Chamber hits the pa system as the fans don't really know what to say. Al Coholic gets ready for a fight, as we cut out to the back, as see Kyle the Kow being lifted up in a forklift. Flyer is shown driving the forklift, as the cow is brought over a brand new 1999 Mercedes Benz, as Flyer drops Kyle the Kow onto the car. Coholic grasps his hair, in shock, as he races to the back.)

**Commercial Break**

Mystery Birdhouse Match
*Simular to the deadly Mystery Death match, both men fight in a enclosed cage with feathers and barbed wire
all over it. In each corner of the cage, there is a flaming birdhouse that may explode without warning during in the match. Each person may bring a weapon of their choice, but it must be covered in feathers. If the cage is destroyed, then both men are eaten alive by ill-tempered parrots. Weird things may also happen during the match, such as the cage walls closing in, the cage filling with water and so on. The first person to make a pinfall wins! And its for the Extreme title!*
0¿0 aka the Mysterious Birdman -c- vs. Mac D vs. Desiree Goldman

MR: HELLO AND WELCOME BACK TO MNM!!

JS: The next match is gonna be nothing short from...cruel and unusual punishment.

AK: Damn straight.. we have one of the most brutal matches of them all, a Extreme title match! Where the rookie Mac D tries his chances against the Phenom of the Pigeon Kind, 0¿0!

MR: This mans bird-like instincts in this kind of envirement will get him the win over Mac D., the much under experianced rookie in this match.

JS: Screw you all! SCREW YOU ALL! Mac D. has a incredible IML2 career! He will crush this Birdman!

AK: We'll soon find out..

*Suddenly, "I Am Your Birdman" by White Zombie plays as "The Mysterious Birdman" 0¿0 walks out with the coveted Extreme title around his waste.. his weapon is a.. um... this narrator cannot even explain..*

JS: A QUE TIP?!?! BIRDMAN COULD HAVE BROUGHT ANY SORT OF VIOLENT WEAPON WITH HIM... AND HE BROUGHT A QUE TIP WITH ONE LITTLE FEATHER AT THE TOP?!?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM!!! IS HE FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD OR SOME SHIT?!?

0¿0: I HAVE THE QUE TIP!!!

AK *smacks her own forehead*: Uhhhhh... IDIOT!

0¿0: THEIR IS NO POSSIBLE CHANCE FOR MAC D TO AVOID DEATH IN THIS MATCH, FOR I HAVE THE QUE TIP!!! THE ONE SIMPLE THING IN THIS UNIVERSE THAT HAS SWABBED MY EARS MANY TIMES IN THE PAST!! BUT NOW... MAC. D WILL HAVE TO ENDURE THE RAW POWER THAT IS MY QUE TIP!!!

*Suddenly, "I Am Iron Man" by Black Sabbath plays as Desiree Goldman comes out... 0¿0 quivers in fear..*

0¿0: AHHH!

Desiree Goldman: Hello IWO... I am a rather old women and I don't think I could handle the Extreme title match...

0¿0: WHEW!

Desiree Goldman: ... WITHOUT ONE MAN!!

0¿0: EH?!

*Suddenly, "I Am Your Boogie Man" by White Zombie plays as Evan Levine walks out covered in feathers. He looks embarressed, and the crowd begins laughing and so does the announcing crew..*

MR, JS and AK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

JS:I thought Desire wasn't going to go through with this matchup?

MR:I guess she figured that she could have Evan do all the work, and she could win the Extreme title?

JS:It is a smart idea from team FWF once again! HAHAHA!

Desiree Goldman: Here is my boogie man!! And my weapon for tonights match!!

Evan Levine: This is so embarressing...

Desiree Goldman *her voice suddenly drops from high pitched to low pitched*: WELL ITS ABOUT TO GET A LOT MORE FUCKING EMBARRESSING!!

JS: DESIREE GOLDMAN HAS A CHAIN WRAPPED AROUND HER FISTS!!! SHE SMACKS EVAN LEVINE IN THE FACE WITH IT!!!! THIS IS WRONG!!! AN OLD WOMEN IS TURNING HER BACK ON LEVINE!!!! WAIT A MINUTE!!!! WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!!! DESIREE RIPS OFF HER FACE!!! ITS PSYCHO JAY IN A DESIREE GOLDMAN SUIT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ITS ALL A TRICK!!!

AK: JAY IS HEAD HUMPING EVAN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS GREAT!!! EVEN THE BIRDMAN IN THE RING IS ROLLED OVER IN LAUGHTER!!!

MR: AND JAY IS WALKING AWAY FROM THE FALLEN EVAN!!! HAHAHAHA!!! THIS WAS ALL A TRICK!!! A DOUBLE CROSS TO THE IWO WORLD CHAMPION!! AND NOW SOME OF TEAM FWF ARE HAULING EVAN OFF THE BATTLEFIELD... WHAT A PUSSY!!

*As he's being carried out, boo's fill the arena as "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit plays as Mac. D walks out
with the biggest fucking baseball bat. Its loaded. It is wrapped in barbed wire. Its on fire. Its got glass bottles shattered all over in it. And because you need it to have feathers, it is tarred with fresh tar and it has the feathers thrown all over it. Its one big fucking bat.*

MR: Oh... my... lord.

JS: *drooling* Whooooahhh baby...

AK: I think I'm having orgasms.

MR: Well.. the chances have risen.. Mac D. is gonna kick 0¿0's ass.

Mac D: O¿O?

0¿0: Yes you freak?

Mac D: Say hello to the BFB! BIG F**KING BAT!!

MR: MAC D SWINGS THE BAT!! AND IT IS DRIVEN TO 0¿0'S FACE!! 0¿0 FALLS DOWN, BUT THE MASK PROTECTED HIM FROM ANY INJURY!

AK: 0¿0 gets up off his feet and charges Mac D! Spear to Mac D! Mac D has fallen to the mat floor!

JS: Mac D tries to get back up, but 0¿0 drives his elbow right into his face before he could make the recovery!

AK: 0¿0 pushes Mac D's face first into the cage!

0¿0: YOU LIKE THAT BITCH?! HUH!? YOU LIKE *Mac D hits him with a low blow like kick* ACH!!

JS: 0¿0 falls! Mac D climbs to mid-cage! He jumps off! AND DELIVERS A HUGE LEG DROP TO 0¿0'S FACE!

MR: Mac D grabs BFB! AND HE RAMS IT INTO 0¿0'S LEG!! OUCH!! THAT HAD TO HURT!!

AK: 0¿0 GETS BACK UP!!! HE'S GOT THE QUE TIP!!! MAC D JUST LAUGHS!!! MAC D SMACKS HIM IN THE FACE AGAIN WITH THE CLUB!!!! THE MASK IS DENTED IN!!

JS: MAC D PINS!! 1.....2.... KICKOUT!!!

AK: Mac D takes another fatal swing at 0¿0's head! 0¿0 ducks! And Mac D gets his weapon caught in the mesh of the cage!

JS: Mac D tries to pull it out! 0¿0 catches Mac D into a move! FISHERMANS SUPLEX! THIS IS IT! 1... KICKOUT! Maybe it isn't over yet...

AK: 0¿0 is climbing to the top of the cage! Mac D is slowly getting back up and coming after him!! THERE BOTH
ON THE EDGE OT THE CAGE!! THIS IS GONNA GET SOMEONE KILLED!!

JS: Mac D has his weapon with him! 0¿0 has his weapon too, although its not gonna do good! Mac D lunches at 0¿0 first!! AND HE THWAKS 0¿0 IN THE HEAD WITH IT!! MAC D ISN'T BALANCED!! AND HE FALLS ON THE RIM OF THE CAGE FACE FIRST!! BOTH 0¿0 AND MAC D ARE LAYING ON THE CAGE RIM!!

MR: 0¿0 is gaining momentum!! He pulls out his que tip!!! What the hell is he doing?!?!

0¿0: Hey Mac D...

Mac D: Huuh?

0¿0: See you in hell, a-hole!!

MR: 0¿0 IS LETTING OUT A SADISTIC LAUGH!!! HE POKES MAC D WITH THE QUE TIP IN THE EYE!! IT WAS JUST ENOUGH TO PUSH MAC D OFF THE CAGE!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! MAC D FLIES OFF THE CAGE AND LANDS ONTO THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER TABLES BELOW!!!!

AK: WAIT A MINUTE!!! THE BIRDHOUSES IN THE CORNERS ARE EXPLODING!!! FLAMING BIRDSEED FLIES ALL OVER!!!! ONE BIRDHOUSE BLOWS OFF 0¿0'S MASK!!! BUT THEIRS ANOTHER FUCKING MASK UNDER THAT ONE!!! 0¿0 DOES A SUICIDE LEAP OFF THE CAGE!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!

0¿0: IIIIII EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MR: AND 0¿0 CRASHES ONTO MAC D ON THE SPANISH ANNOUNCERS TABLE!!! THIS IS CHAOS!!! BOTH MEN ARE OUT!!!! BUT 0¿0'S HAND FALLS OVER MAC D!!! 1.........2........ KICKOUT!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! MAC D JUST KICKED OUT OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!!!! THIS IS FUCKING NUTS!!!

AK: STOP THE DAMN MATCH!!! THE BIRDMAN IS OUT!!!!!

JS: MAC D SETS UP 0¿0 FOR HIS FINISHER!!! THIS IS IT!!!! BUT 0¿0 REVERSES IT INTO A MYSTERY BIRD DRIVER!!!! MYSTERY BIRD DRIVER TO MAC D!!!!! THIS IS IT!!!!

1..........2...............3!!!!!

MR: 0¿0 HAS BARELY BEEN ABLE TO DO IT!!! HE BARELY WAS ABLE TO BEAT THE ROOKIE MAC D!!!!

Winner: And STILL Extreme champion, "The Mysterious Birdman" 0¿0

AK: 0¿0 is being hauled off into an Emergency Vehicle while Mac D. braves it out and leaves through the crowd..

MR: That was an awesome match!

JS: Your telling me!

MR: We'll be right back with more MNM after this break!

**Commercial Break**

Sam Potright vs. Syphon Fission

MR: Well are you guys ready for some big action.

JS: Depends on what kinda "action" you are referring to Max?

AK: Perv, he's talking aboutm Potright vs. Syphon!

JS: =(... well at least Potright is FWF representing, which makes this match a higher standard then a normal IWO match.

AK: Oh come off it!

MR: Yeah, the IWO is the best damn federation alive.

JS: You wish, FWF is gonna steamroll over this sad excuse for a federation and take the "Real" power back! What the...

("Paper Cut" by Linkin Park suddenly starts up and the fans go crazy as half of the Tag Team Champions, Team CGI, Syphon Fission walks out with his half of the titles in hand. He is pumping up the crowd as he walks down to the ring and Jason has a frown on his face for being interupted. Syphon slides into the ring and stands on the and turbuckle and looks out over the fans.)

AK: You got to admit, since Syphon won the major push tourney, he has been raising competition to a new level. I mean along with the Mysterious Birdman, Syphon now has the tag titles, one can only imagine what will come
next.

JS: I can... well at least I can hope... I hope he dies.

AK: Your a real sicko, you know that?

JS: Hey, can't blame a guy on a matter of opinion.

MR: That is true... but you can be a jerk sometimes.

JS: And you can be a boring JR-Wannabe, but do you see me taking shots at you? No!

(Again, Jason is interupted by the drowning sound of theme music, this time "Faster Grace" by Custom, but Jason is happy now. The fans instanly begin to boo Sam Potright as he walks out in a new FWF shirt. He is soaking this heat as if through a straw! The fans start chanting, "I-Dub...I-Dub...I-Dub" but eventually die out as Potright pays them no mind and climbs into the ring. The ref is checking Sam over when suddenly Syphon flies over him and nails Sam with a flying forearm! There's the bell and we're officially underway!)

MR: And look at Syphon go to work on Potright, he's landing major body shots, and there's a sharp elbow to the jaw, and Potright's head just snapped back! He stumbles back into the corner and Syphon is right there, he
whips to the opposite corner and Potright with major veloctiy slams in and stumbles out, Beheading Clothesling by Syphon!

AK: Syphon looks like a man possessed guys! IWO is his home, and he stays true to the blue.

JS: Out God, not cliches, I'll be over here calling an FWF match if you don't mind!

AK: Prick!

JS: Anyways fans, don't count Potright just yet, he's one of the toughest the IWO used to have and now the FWF HAS! Well see, look at Syphon deliver some cheap kicks to the ribs while Sam is down, expected IWO cheating tactics!

MR: Cheating? I think you've got it all around backwards, but I am not gonna sit here and argue over IWO/FWF anymore, unlike someone I know, I want to do my job respectively...., Now Syphon is pulling up Sam and he throws the arm over the head and executes a perfect snap suplex. He isn't even giving Potright time to breathe, he's over and applying a sleeper hold to Potright!

AK: But now for long, Sam just put his foot on the ropes and the ref is asking... no... demanding he release the hold!

JS: But is he doing it? No! Because the IWO doesn't know the meaning of "fair fight"... the ref is up to for...yessss...noooo!

MR: Well Syphon finally breaks the hold and he's to his feet, and down with an elbow! He's up again... another elbow! He's up once more...el-NO! Potright rolls out of the ring under the ropes and Syphon elbows the canvass.

JS: Bout time, you didn't expect Potright to take an asswhooping like that did you? Hell no... he has a plan I tell you!

MR: Looks like that plan involves the time keepers steel, folding chair!

AK: Yeah, who's cheating now?

JS: Well.. I... uhh...

AK: Save it Jason... we all know thinking makes you hurt! Well Sam is sliding into the ring and Syphon is to his feet and here comes Potright... wait! The ref has the back of the chair, and Sam doesn't know what's going on! Now the ref rips it free and drops it, and Sam turns around... he's in his face!

MR: ROLL-UP! Syphon rolls up Potright from behind!

1...

2...

NO! KICKOUT!

MR: Close...close! Potright is now up and charges Syphon, no he ducks the clothesline and spins around as Potright bounces off the ropes, Syphon with the back body drop, wait Potright holds on with a sunset flip!

1...No!

MR: Now Syphon flips out of it and grabs Potright's legs with a flip over pin!

1...

2...No!

MR: Somehow Sam bridges up out of it and turns sideways... ducks down with a mudslide!

1...

2...

3...NO! NO!

MR: How in the... now Potright rolls out of it and pushes the legs back on Syphon with a folding pin!

1...

2...

3...NO NO NO!!!!!!!!

AK: Both of them now snap up and face each other in a defensive stance and the fans are clapping for that great show of athletisism!

JS: Oh great... not only do we have WWF announcers... WCW athletes, but now the fans are going ECW on us!

AK: Would you mind just sitting there for the rest of the night and not speaking?

JS: Fine by me... IWO sellout!

AK: I don't believe this?

MR: Back to the action... and boy do I ever mean action. Syphon and Potright are circling each other and now they strike in a lock-up and Potright pulls Syphon into a side headlock... man and he's really wrenching it in!

AK: Potright is putting a lot into that headlock... but Syphon is fighting out with some ab fists! Now he flies around with a fist, no ducked, Potright slips his hands over Syphon's head... Chinbreaker!

MR: I have to admit... that was a good counter to the counter!

JS: See... FWF does have better athletes! You just admitted it!

AK: Jeez, just when my hopes were high!

MR: For your information Mr.Storm, Potright is still under a 50% contract with IWO!

JS: That's 49%

AK: Looks like their coming our way!

JS: Huh?

(During this arguement, Potright had snap calf kicked Syphon out of the ring. Syphon was near the table and Ashlet spoke up right when Potright come over the ropes with a suicide planchs, almost crashing into the
announcer table. The fans are chanting "Holy Shit...Holy Shit...")

MR: MY GOD! POTRIGHT WITH A BIG TIME RISK MOVE AND IT PAYS OFF!

JS: Calm down Max, it's not too suprising to see such an outstanding all around athlete like Potright to pulls off a high risk move. He was a great luchalibre in Mexico you know!

MR: I know this Storm, but I had to still give him his props at the spur of the moment... that was certainly a tremendous move.

AK: Well Potright is barely moving and the ref has decided not to count and is outside checking on the men. Potright is up and the ref incourages him to take it back inside.

MR: But it looks like he is still after Syphon... he pulls him and and whips him right into the steel barricade! Syphon is slumped against it and Potright charges, no Syphon dumps him over, wait not yet! Potright landed on
his feet and reaches behind him and grabs Syphon's neck... JESUS! I have never seen that variation... he nails a reverse neckbreak across the steel railing!

JS: Look at pittyful IWO Syphon... he's rolling around and holding his neck like a pansy! He knows he can't beat FWF Potright! Woooo this is some great action!

AK: Oh God, don't tell me your gonna start referring to wrestlers by their alignment...

JS: Oh yes!

AK: *Sigh*....

JS: Now look... FWF Potright once again on the offensive. He is leaning over the railing and pulls IWO Syphon to his feet and wraps the arm around the head and goes up the railing... looks like a tornado ddt to the mat... NOOOOO!

AK: Hahaha!

MR: Big reversal... Syphon held onto the tornado DDT halfway through and charged Potright back first into the steel pole. Potright is leaning against it and Syphon rares back with a right hand and fires.. Ohhh!

JS: HAHA to you! FWF Potright ducks, thus IWO Syphon just possibly broke his hand on that pole, and FWF Potright moves around to behind IWO Syphon and hooks the waist with a German Release Suplex...

MR: Don't speak too soon, IWO..errr I mean Syphon flips over landing on his feet and Potright turns around...SUPERKICK! Potright crumbles to the floor and now the ref is barking orders at Syphon.

AK: Yeah, and Syphon obliges and rolls into the ring. But he rolls back out and the ref is dumbfounded!

JS: It's not fair... how in the hell did IWO Syphon get out of that suplex... it's damn near impossible! He's not a super famous, world renown.. LUCALIBRE!

AK: Oh please can it with the IWO...FWF name crap!

JS: Don't patrionize me female!

AK: Oh I won't but I'll paralyze you!

MR: You better watch it Jason... she means it this time!

JS: *Mutters* Like to see her try... I'm Jason "By God" Storm...

MR: And Syphon now has Potright up and he rolls him into the ring and starts onto the apron, but Potright flips up and comes over with his hands together for an axhandle, but Syphon avoids it with a stiff kick through the
ropes that bends Potright over...

AK: And now he pulls back on the ropes and flips over Potright, and spins him around... pulls him in and lifts Potright up, spinning 180 degrees with a some what tornado falling powerbomb! He rolls on top, hooking the
inner leg...

1...

2...

3...Noooo!!!! Kickout!

JS: And Potright with the impressive kickout!

AK: Yes, but Syphon is back up and kicking Sam in the head with some stiff legs!

MR: And now he's dragging Potright to the corner and drops a few fists to the head... what's he doing...ohhhh! He props Sam's legs on the bottom rope and he stays in a sit position.

JS: Don't tell me...

AK: Ohhh yes!

JS: No... not the little Sammys... Sambos... Samsters...

MR: Syphon backs to the other corner and hypes up the crowd, and starts charging and slides in...Ohhhhhhh!

AK: A running...low...low...low dropkick and Potright's eyes get bigger than the Goldman's ego combined!

JS: *Sniffling* Oh...poor Sam... and don't talk about the Goldman's like that! They're your bosses too you know!

AK: Doesn't mean I have to like them!

MR: Now Syphon is pulling Potright to his feet in the corner, but Sam suddenly throws his arms out blinding Syphon and connects with a big chop!

Fans: Woooooooo!

AK: But Syphon fires back with a smacker himself!

Fans: Woooooooo!!

JS: Ha... wussy slap... here's how it goes...Potright rares back and Big Chop!

Fans: Woooooooo!!!

AK: Now Syphon looks pissed... he rares back, but Potright counters blocking his chest with his hands, but wait... Syphon didn't swing... he just smiles and slams his leg up with another shot to the crotch!

JS: *Almost in tears* Dammit! Leave the jewels alone... some people wanna see Potright have children!

AK: Yeah so they can headline the news while in High School... because they shot it up!

JS: What's that suppose to mean.

AK: Watch a Potright promo... you'll see!

JS: Your a racist?

AK: Huh?

JS: A gimmick racist!!

AK:...Oh give me a break...

MR: Again, aside from the bickering... Syphon lifts the doubled over Potright to the rope and starts up after him. He hooks the arm and looks like a superplex and Syphon is signaling to the crowd...what the...

(Suddenly ballons and graffiti start falling from the top of the arena and celebration band music plays! Then a large banner unrolls above the ring that reads "Congrats Syphon!")

AK: This is nuts! Syphon doesn't know what to think and Potright is coming around quickly, due to the loud music!

JS: Yes! Yes! Potright punches Syphon in the gut and shoves him off the top and he folds back on his neck! Now Sam is on the top and positioned... I am sooo happy!

(Suddenly the IWO-Tron comes on....and it's Joey Malone argueing with a guy in a black IWO shirt...?)

Joey Malone: I said after Syphon wins you jackass... you meanieheadingly screwed the whole celebration up!

Worker: I...

Joey Malone: Silence... I will not tolerate insolence!

(Joey pulls out a magic bag he found in.............................. Deepwithinthefuckingundergroundah and sprinkles come on the man...some sort of portral appears and the man is transporte to DWTFUGah and eating by carnivorous gnomes. Now Joey see's a neaby montior and Potright in wait as Syphon gets to his feet.)

Joey Malone: Nooooooo!

(He runs off and we cut back to match.)

AK: Syphon is up and the ref is asking him if he's alright, and Syhpon starts to turn and Potright's off...Tattoo of the Sun! But not on Syphon... he mis calculates and nails the ref!

JS: Noooooo! And now Syphon has a chair... damn IWO! DAMN YOU ALL!

MR: And Potright is stunned that he hit the ref... and turns around...

(WHAM BAM THANKYOU MAM)

MR: What a hellacious sound effect for that hellacious chair shot! But MY GOD! POTRIGHT IS STILL STANDING DAZED AS BLOOD NOW FLOWS LIKE WINE FROM HIS FOREHEAD!

AK: Syphon drops the chair and kicks Potright in the gut and pulls him in....here it is...DEATH PLUNGE! RIGHT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!

JS: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

MR: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!! Syphon nails his trademark and hooks the leg and the fans are cheering but no ref! Dammit someone get in their...1 2 3! Syphon has this thing won!

JS: Haha... whew I forgot about that... Potright is still alive!

MR: Now Syphon is to his feet and he's trying to revive the ref who's barely moving after that TOTS from Potright... wait... Potright is getting to his feet! My God do you believe in miracles... because him being able to
stand so quick sure the hell convinces me!

JS: Woooohoooo! GO FWF! And he has that steel chair in his hand and he's just beggin' for Syphon to turn around...what's that noise?

(The fans erupt into cheers as "It's all about the Pentiums" by Weird Al plays, but a little off to Joey Malone who's already sliding into the ring and Potright never gets around in time!)

MR: Joey lands a few rights and Potright drops his chair and Joey tosses him into the ropes and bends over, but Potright runs right through the ropes, and stops on the apron...

AK: He pulls back and springs off the top rope with a splash...NO! JESUS! JOEY MALONE CAUGHT HIM IN A BEARHUG! And he wastes no time flipping him over his back and grabbing both arms...

JS: Oh Lord...not the...the...the...

MR: Everest Cataclysm!!!! AND ON THE STEEL CHAIR! POTRIGHT IS OUT COLD! And Syphon is all smiles! He and Joey high five each other and Joey is leaving...

AK: But look... the ref is up now and he see's Joey standing beside Syphon... and now down at Potright out cold on a steel chair!

JS: Yes...yes...make the call ref, DO IT!

MR: No... No don't do this...Ahhhhhhh!

JS: Yes I told you!

AK: The ref is calling for the bell yes he is Jason, but what's the call? What's the reason? Syphon and Joey both look on curious.

(The ref leans through the ropes and says something to the ring announcer.)

MR: It's all silence here... except for the fans who have some kinda idea on the situation and don't like it... let's get the official word.

Ring Announcer: Fans I have just been told by the referee that due to outside intereference on behalf of Syphon Fission...

(The fans start to boo the roof off.)

Ring Announcer:... therefore Sam Potright is declared the victor via a DQ!

(More boo's)

MR: Ahhh horsehsit.

JS: Now calm down... the better man won and you know it!\

AK: No the lucky SOB won... I can't believe it... FWF chalks up another one!

JS: Well you better believe it missy... the FWF is taking over and that's that!

MR: Look you two! Joey Malone just picked up the ref and hit him with a tornado atomic drop and the ref stumbles right between the legs of Syphon...DEATH PLUNGE ON THE CHAIR FOR THE REF AND THE FANS LOVE IT!

("All about the Pentiums" by Weird Al drowns the air as Malone and Syphon Fission mount the turnbuckles and hype up the crowd, and they do so as the fans give a huge pop! They both then exit the ring as Potright starts
to come around. Joey and Syphon make their way up the ramp as The Mysterious Birdman 0¿0 appears and joins them to the back as Potright is now up and soon leaves.)

MR: Fans don't turn that channel just yet... after this commercial break we'll be back with more IWO action!

JS: You mean more F..W..F Action!

**Commercial Break**

Number One Contendership Matchup
Psycho Jay vs. Joey Malone

JS: And we're back!

MR: Alright, Jason. Explain to me just how Joey Malone can even come CLOSE to a Number One Contender's match.

JS: Damned if I know. But then again, it's VP Tom's booking, so go with the flow...

AK: Let's go to Meygon for the ringside announcements!

*ding, ding, ding*

Meygon: The following contest is a number one contender's match for the IWO World Title! First...

("Shame" by BT plays as the fans immediately pop for the current United States Heavyweight champion, Joey Malone. Joey's accompanied by no one, for some odd reason.)

Meygon: From Phoenix, Arizona... he stands at six foot, four inches... and he weights in at two hundred and fifty-eight pounds... he's the IWO United States champion and the self-proclaimed "Crowned Prince of General Mayhem", the self-proclaimed "Original Meaniehead", and the self-proclaimed favorite son of Phoenix...he's the master of the Everest Cataclysm... he's also a member of Team CGI... and a former IWO Intercontinental Tag Champion... ladies and gentlemen... he is JOOOOEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY MAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AK: Remember that Joey Malone has become one of the fastest rising stars since being forced out of the tag division.

JS: Yeah, but he's facing PSYCHO JAY, Ashley. Psycho Jay! He's a former World Champion and a main eventer! Joey hasn't even main evented in the IWO, yet!

MR: Neverthless, we'll see what he can do against Psycho Jay...

("Shame" fades out... only to be replaced by "Divine" by Korn. Psycho Jay comes out to a decidedly mixed reaction. Jay has with him Vincent, as always. Pyro goes off.)

Meygon: And his opponent! From South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... he stands at six foot, eight inches... and weighs in at three hundred and twenty pounds... he's a former two-time IWO World Champion, a former IWO North American champion, a former IWO Television champion, and a former IWO Intercontinental Tag Team Champion... he's accompanied, as always, by Vincent. He's the master of the dreaded Superbomb and the Humpinator... and has humped the heads of nearly everyone in the IWO, today... ladies and gentlemen... HE IS
PSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

AK: Uh oh... Jay looks pissed.

(Then the bell rings.)

*ding, ding, ding*

JS: And here we go!

MR: Jay and Malone lock up in the center of the ring, and Malone gets shoved halfway across the ring by Jay!

AK: Well, Jay's got the obvious power advantage over Malone.

JS: Malone with another lock up on Jay, and a side headlock by Malone!

MR: Jay shoves Malone into the ropes, but Malone bumps into Jay and falls to the mat!

AK: No doubt that Jay's merely toying with Malone right now.

MR: Malone gets up and bounces into the ropes! Jay drops down, Joey dives over Jay, rolls to his feet, Jay charges in, Joey with a drop toe hold!

AK: And Joey slides right into the side headlock!

JS: Ah, but Jay gets to the ropes!

MR: Malone needs to outwrestle Jay, because Jay will kill Joey if he's standing up.

JS: Jay's up again and Joey hits him with a dropkick into the corner!

AK: Joey meets Jay in the corner! Hard chop! And another! And another! Irish whip by Malone, reversal by Jay! Jay charges in, Joey springs up, into a rollup! One... two... NO!

JS: Jay rolls through as Jay kips up... RIGHT INTO A CLOTHESLINE BY JAY!

MR: Jay nearly took Joey's head off with that move!

AK: Now Jay picks Joey up and drops him down with a jawbreaker! Into the cover by Jay! One... two... no!

MR: Jay goes to the rear chinlock, but Joey fights out of it, so Jay releases the hold and drops the leg!

AK: Cover again! One... two... no!

JS: Joey's in dire straits right now. Jay picks up Joey and sends him off the ropes! Powerslam! With the cover, one... two... NO! Joey with the shoulder up before the count of three!

MR: Malone's a tough guy, I give him credit, but I'm not sure if he can survive here.

AK: Jay picks up Joey again and sends him off the ropes, back drop... no! Joey with a kick to Jay's face! Joey takes a step back and puts Jay down with a flying clothesline!

MR: Jay's down, and Joey's trying to recover from his beating!

JS: Joey catches Jay with a forearm shiver! He sends Jay into the ropes... ELBOW SMASH! What impact!

AK: That rocks the larger Psycho Jay, but it didn't send him down!

MR: Joey spins Jay around, kick to the gut... superkick! This sends Jay down! Joey for the cover... one... two... no!

AK: Joey's trying, I'll give him credit.

JS: Joey with a kick to Jay's gut... double arm DDT!

MR: Joey's signalling to go to the top rope!

JS: Joey goes to the outside and climbs up, he measures and leaps...

AK: HE MISSED! JOEY MALONE MISSED THE BAD MOON RISING!

MR: That's why it's called high risk, baby.

JS: That move is one of Malone's primary weapons and he couldn't hit it!

AK: Jay's back on his feet and he obliterates Joey with a short clothesline!

MR: Joey spun in midair before hitting the ground!

JS: Jay picks Joey back up and tries it again, no! Joey ducks behind! He's got Jay's arm... EXORCISM(Cobra clutch diving reverse DDT)! THAT'S THE MOVE THAT WON JOEY THE US TITLE!

MR: Joey with the cover... one... two... NO! JAY KICKED OUT AT TWO!

AK: Joey isn't really surprised, as he rolls to his feet... he's measuring Jay again!

JS: SUPERKICK! NO! JAY DUCKED IT! JOEY TURNS AROUND... CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM BY PSYCHO JAY!

MR: What power!

JS: Jay is dominating Joey right now... and now he signals for the Superbomb!

AK: If Jay hits this, Joey ain't winning or getting up.

MR: Jay puts Joey in the powerbomb position and climbs u- NO! JOEY MALONE WITH PUNCHES TO PSYCHO JAY! JAY DROPS JOEY AND GETS CROTCHED UP TOP!

JS: Joey climbs back up to the second... Joey sets Jay up... reverse crucifix... ICONOCLASM! JOEY MALONE HITS AN ICONOCLASM ON PSYCHO JAY! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!

AK: That took a lot out of Joey, too.

MR: Okay, as far as I know, Joey has never wrestled in Japan, SO PLEASE TELL ME WHERE HE LEARNED THAT?!

JS: Who knows.

AK: Malone is trying to get up, Jay's almost up... Malone charges in... RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER BY JAY!

MR: Jay with the upper hand, as Joey tries to get on his feet... he goes for the Humpinator!

JS: Joey with an elbow smash to counter!

AK: Joey gets behind Jay and tries the Jerkerolizer... BUT JAY CROTCHES JOEY ON THE TOP! CLOTHESLINE BY JAY PUTS JOEY BACK IN THE RING!

JS: Jay grabs Joey... HUMPINATOR(spinning death penalty)! HUMPINATOR! JAY WITH THE COVER! ONE... TWO... JOEY HAS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!

MR: Jay's arguing with the referee! He thought he had it!

JS: Jay drags Joey to the center of the ring and pins him again! One...two... JOEY KICKS OUT!

MR: How the hell did Malone kick out?!

JS: I dunno.

AK: Jay picks up Malone again and sends him off the ropes... Joey ducks the clothesline and shoves Jay... right into the offical!

MR: Uh oh! And heeeereeee's Team CGI!

JS: Vincent is out there and he clotheslines the Mysterious Birdman with his penis! But Fission's in the ring! Kick in Jay's gut... DEATH PLUNGE(pedigree)! Fission's out of there!

MR: It can't end like this! Joey crawls over to Jay and gets his hand on him... one... two... NO! Jay kicks out! Jay got the shoulder up!

JS:What the hell?

(The camera cuts to the top of the ramp, as we see Psycho Jay and Rob Kestler with signs that have the IWO crossed out in red and "Immaturity destroyed," pacing up and down the rampway. Jay is dressed in a t-shirt that says "Al Coholic is a ****** Moron, it wasn't me.")

AK:What the hell? So... who's that in the ring?

(Joey Malone goes over and unmasks the man in the ring, as we see it's none other than the exact beaver that ate Shane Andrews. Joey Malone picks up the beaver and pets it, as he leaves the ring.)

JS:Uhhh... What happened?

MR:I think Psycho Jay just forfeited the match, so Joey Malone recieves his shot at the World Title... and I think he's got a new pet.

(Malone walks by Rob, as they stop and stare at one another.)

Rob Kestler: Moo.

Joey Malone: Wow...

(Joey Malone wanders off in amazement. Fade to commercial.)

**Commercial Break**

Main Event
*World Title for North American*
Evan Levine & LiGiL vs. Phelen Kell & High Flyer vs. the Suicide Kings

MR:This next is going to be a huge matchup, and could drastically affect Ice Age 3, December 31st in Madison Square Garden.

JS:Well, Levine's world title is on the line, as well as Flyer's North American Championship. The Suicide Kings Tag Team Titles would be on the line, however they lost them this past Friday on Hostile Takeover to Team CGI.

AK:We get to see Evan Levine and Phelen Kell tonight! We get to see LiGiL and Flyer in the same ring, dear god, this is going to be drastic!

MR:Especially after everything that's happened tonight... Fans, let's head to the ring.

(We fade into the ring, with Meygon the ring announcer dressed up like a microphone. Don't ask.)

Meygon:This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for both the World Heavyweight Championship, as well as the North American Championship! Introducing first, from New York, New York, and weighing in at a total combined 484 pounds, here is Jeff and Ryan King, the Former IWO World Tag team Champions, the Suicide Kings!

('More Human than Human' by White Zombie is heard as out from the back walk the Kings. Jeff King leads the way, trying to steal some spotlight, as the fans begin to give a mixed reaction.)

Meygon:And their opponents, introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, and weighing in at 270 pounds, he is considered the greatest wrestler to ever step in the IWO ring, and has held the world title on three previous occasions. He comes into tonight, considered the greatest off all time, and can he get his fourth reign as World Champion, before Ice Age? Here is Phelen Kell!

("Sober" by Tool slowly comes onto the pa system, however it's ripped off, as we hear "Mr. Roboto" by Styx cut into the PA system. Kell, already out on the rampway, doesn't know what to do, as High Flyer walks out and pats Kell on the shoulder. Flyer gives Kell a hug, but Kell doesn't seem very receptive to it. Flyer drags a baby carriage out from the back as well.)

Meygon:And his tag team partner, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 204 pounds, he is considered the greatest crusier weight to step into the IWO ring. He has won every recognized championship that the IWO has, being the only man in IWO history to do so, and the second man to win every single championship, behind the War-Machine, Ken War. Here is the current North American Champion... High Flyer!

(Flyer and Kell make their way to the ring, as Flyer is wheeling the baby carraige to the ring with him. He sets it in his corner, as the two men climb into the ring. Kell stares towards the Suicide Kings while Flyer looks out towards the audience, laughing at a sign about "Da Gayme." He tries to get Kell to turn around, but to no avail.)

Meygon:And their opponents, introducing first, from Portland, Oregon, and weighing in at 254 pounds, here is the former United States champion, and the man who is responsible for Kate Young's demise...

(Flyer abruptly stops his laughter as he looks straight at Meygon.)

Meygon:Here is LiGiL!

("Suffocate" by Finger Eleven hits the pa system as LiGiL walks out from the back. LiGiL stops at the rampway, as Flyer is being held back by Phelen Kell.)

Meygon:And his tag team partner, he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and weighs in at 245 pounds, the master of Conceptual Perfection, and the current IWO World Heavyweight Champion. He is a man that many people don't respect, but he goes out and does what he must, Evan Levine!!!!

("I am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays over the pa system as out from the back walks Evan Levine. Levine and LiGiL races towards the ring, as they slide in. Flyer and LiGiL exchange blows with one another, as Levine and Kell hammer each other on the outside.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

MR:Two people will be in the ring at a time, so, I guess that means that Flyer and LiGiL will face one another as of right now.

JS:Evan and Kell can't be seperated! What the hell is this referee trying to do!

AK:Well, it seems that the referee has some power, as we see Evan and Kell finally get to their corners. Flyer and LiGiL, inside the ring, LiGiL has on a side headlock, as he tosses Flyer off the ropes. Flyer back off, shoulderblock, nothing. Flyer back off the ropes, and another shoulder block equals no effect. Flyer back off one more time, LiGiL drops down and hits a back body drop, but Flyer lands on his feet!

MR:Impressive...

JS:Flyer turns LiGiL around, COLD... NO! LiGiL shoves him off, as LiGiL nails him with a huge spinebuster!

AK:Flyer hit the canvas hard, as LiGiL brings him up to his feet. LiGiL just slapped the taste out of Flyer's mouth, as Flyer goes flying into the corner. Jeff King blindly tags himself in, as LiGiL is shown just badmouthing Flyer!

MR:Jeff King is from behind, as he hooks LiGiL! He just nailed a huge german suplex! With a bridge, 1-2-NO! LiGiL gets a shoulder up, as LiGiL gets back up to his feet. LiGiL goes for a clothesline, but Jeff King drops down underneath. Jeff King with a knee to LiGiL's back, as he drops him into a reverse DDT!

JS:Jeff King throws out a tag, as we see Phelen Kell coming into the ring. Kell gets to the ring, as LiGiL tries to dust off the reverse DDT. Kell wants Evan, and Evan wants Kell!

MR:LiGiL attacks Kell with a shoulder tackle, and sends him down to the mat. LiGiL hammers Kell with crushing blows, trying to hammer him down into the mat. LiGiL grabs Kell, and throws him off the ropes. Kell comes back as LiGiL ducks down, and Evan pulls down the top rope! That isn't fair!

AK:And LiGiL distracts the referee while Evan grabs Phelen Kell, and sends him flying into this steel guardrail, back first!

MR:LiGiL is backing up, the referee is getting in his face, as Flyer grabs LiGiL by his head and slams him down back first onto the ground!

JS:Now THAT'S not fair! LiGiL back to his feet, as Flyer and himself are getting words. Kell is being hammered on by Evan, as Flyer and LiGiL are just fighting by words. The referee is trying to seperate them, as slowly Evan gets back up onto the apron. LiGiL ignores Flyer's attempts to get into his head, as he heads outside, and sends Kell into the ring.

MR:LiGiL comes in himself, as Kell grabs at his head. LiGiL stands over, towering over a fallen Kell, as Kell KICKS LiGiL! He just kicked LiGiL downstairs! Kell grabs LiGiL, and nails him with a huge snap suplex! Kell gets back up to his feet, as he throws LiGiL into the ropes.

AK:Ryan King blind tags LiGiL, as Kell hits LiGiL with a huge powerslam! Kell didn't see the tag, as Ryan King hooks Kell, and picks him up! Ryan King has Phelen Kell on his shoulders, and plants him with a crucifix bomb! Kell rolls into his corner, as Flyer tags himself in. Flyer jumps up and lands on Ryan King's shoulders and nails him with a huge springboard hudaconrada!

MR:LiGiL still in the ring however, hooks Flyer and nails him with a huge double arm ddt, sending him square into the mat.

JS:Ryan King comes flying in and forearms LiGiL off the apron!

MR:Wait! There referee is saying that's a tag, and Ryan King has to get out! Flyer is trying to get to his feet, as LiGiL did hit the steel hard. Flyer back up, as he springs up to the top ropes and hits a flying cross body onto LiGiL on the outside!

JS:Flyer getting back to his feet, barely, tosses LiGiL back into the ring. Flyer follows him in, as they both get to their feet. LiGiL however is backing off, but Flyer just kicked LiGiL in the side of the head! LiGiL falls down, as Flyer drops a quick elbow on the back of the neck of LiGiL.

AK:Flyer picks up LiGiL, and gets reversed on a whip. Flyer comes back, ducks under a huge right hand by LiGiL, and goes for a reverse ddt, but LiGiL powers Flyer up, and drives him forwards with a huge shoulderbreaker!

MR:LiGiL with some shear power, as Flyer is clutching his right shoulder. LiGiL grabs Flyer up off the mat, and arm rings his shoulder, as LiGiL slowly and methodically throws his shoulder into Flyer's shoulder, trying to rip it out of the socket.

JS:Yes! Rip that arm off!

MR:Flyer is trying to reach to Kell for the tag, but LiGiL grabs Flyer by the arm and THROWS him into Team FWF's corner! LiGiL sends Flyer down into the corner, as he begins to choke him with his boot. LiGiL is just wrenching his neck back, as LiGiL drops out of it, and bails out...

JS:LiGiL charges and KICKS FLYER'S HEAD! DEAR GOD! FLYER IS DEAD! LiGiL grabs Flyer up off the mat, and bodyslams him down. LiGiL tags out to Evan, as Evan climbs up to the top rope, and drops a huge right hand to the shoulder of Flyer. Flyer screams in pain, as Evan makes a cover, 1-2-NO! Kickout by Flyer, just barely.

AK:Evan grabs Flyer up off the mat, and arm hooks him, Evan drops an elbow to the back shoulder area of Flyer, as they are definitly working over that right shoulder. Evan grabs Flyer up, and hooks him in another arm wrench. Evan tags back out to LiGiL, as LiGiL climbs up, and dropkicks Flyer's exposed shoulder!

MR:LiGiL back up to his feet quickly, as LiGiL grabs Flyer, and sends him down with a manhatten drop. LiGiL jumps over, and grabs Flyer into a surfboard! There's not going to be much longer that Flyer can maintain himself, as LiGiL is really wrenching it in, and his shoulder may be pulled, Flyer's that is.

JS:Kell comes in and kicks LiGiL in the head! The referee is trying to get Kell out of there, as it's Jeff King! King comes flying in and clotheslines the recovering LiGiL out of his boots. King gets to his feet, and kicks Flyer in the gut, and ddts him square into the mat!

AK:Jeff King on top of High Flyer, new north american champion!?! 1-2-NO! Kickout! Flyer got a shoulder up, and the referee is escorting LiGiL out of the ring! The referee thinks Jeff King tagged himself in!

MR:Jeff King grabs a limp shoulder Flyer, and throws him off the ropes. Jeff King sends him down with a dropkick to the shoulder, as Flyer clutches it in pain. Jeff King tags out to Ryan King, as Jeff grabs Flyer. Jeff hooks him, trying to sending him in a shoulder, as Ryan King climbs up to the top. Flyer struggles out and wriggles behind Jeff King, sending him down with a huge neckbreaker!

JS:Flyer dives and tags Phelen Kell with his good shoulder, as he lands stomach first! Kell comes in like a fist of fury, right hand to Jeff King, right hand to Ryan King. Kell charges Evan and knocks him off the mat! LiGiL goes for a right hand, but Flyer pulls him down off the mat!

MR:Wait! Jeff King turns Kell around, but Kell grabs Jeff King... STEEL RAIN! STEEL RAIN! HE JUST PLANTED JEFF KING!

AK:Jeff King is down, as Phelen Kell drops down for the cover, 1-2-NO! Ryan King with a springboard legdrop breaking up the count! Phelen Kell shakes it off, as he sends Kell off the ropes...

(Evan Levine slides in with a steel chair, as he takes a wild swing at a returning Kell. Kell ducks underneath however, and hooks Levine into a backslide.)

MR:KELL! 1-2-NO! Ryan King BROKE IT UP!

JS:Dear god! Flyer and LiGiL are battling through the crowd, I'm not sure where they went... JEFF KING HITS ONE HALF OF UNDERESTIMATION!!!! KELL FLIES DOWN TO THE MAT! LEVINE BACK UP, RYAN KING! HE NAILED LEVINE WITH A GANSO BOMB! JEFF KING FLIES OFF THE ROPES! UNDERESTIMATION! UNDERESTIMATION!!!!

AK:DEAR GOD!

JS:NO! NOT THE SUICIDE KINGS WITH THE WORLD TITLE!

MR:Jeff King on top! 1-2-NO!!!! Kell BARELY BROKE IT UP! DEAR GOD! THIS IS CRAZY!

AK:Kell has that steel chair, as he goes back, he hits the referee! And then he sends Ryan King up and over the top with a huge baseball style swinging chair shot! Ryan King is down right in front of our announce table!

JS:Jeff King is back to his feet, as he rolls up Kell from behind! But there isn't a referee! Jeff King has Phelen Kell defeated!

MR:Wait! Evan Levine! Jeff King to his feet... CONCEPTUAL PERFECTION! CONCEPTUAL PERFECTION ON JEFF KING! JEFF KING IS DOWN AND OUT! Phelen Kell is up...

("It's All About The Pentiums" by Weird Al Yankovic hits the pa system, as the fans litterally go nuts. Out from the back walks Team CGI. Syphon Fission hits the ring, and catches Evan Levine with the Death Plunge.)

MR:DEAR GOD! SYPHON FISSION JUST LAID OUT EVAN LEVINE! PHELEN KELL DIVES ONTO THE COVER, SYPHON HELPS THE REFEREE UP! COVER! 1............ 2................

("I Am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays over the pa system as out from the back runs Justin Goldman walks out with a microphone.)

Justin Goldman:NO! NO! NO! YOU SEE! THIS ISN'T HOW IT'S GOING TO GO DOWN!

(The fans boo, as we see Syphon Fission staring up at the rampway towards Justin Goldman. Joey Malone has the beaver in his hands as well as 0¿0 with his Extreme Title.)

Justin Goldman:I've seen just ONE too many travesties of justice occur tonight, and I'll be damned if Evan Levine loses the world heavyweight championship!

MR:OH MY GOD!

(The fans are on their feet, as they see Pyscho Jay standing behind Justin Goldman. Goldman doesn't even notice him, as he finally sees something. Goldman slowly turns around, as we see Psycho Jay standing there with his anti-IWO sign, but he also has an anti-FWF t-shirt on. Goldman just stares wideyed, as Goldman starts running. Levine gets up, seeing the carnage of Goldman, as Kell turns him around...)

JS:STEEL RAIN! STEEL RAIN! AND PHELEN KELL HAS ON THE MALICIOUS INTENT!!! HE JUST LOCKED IT ON EVAN, AND EVAN CAN'T REACH THE ROPES! EVAN LEVINE...

(We fade into the front view, as Evan Levine is shown screaming in pain. Kell locks it on even further, as we see Evan Levine try to keep alive.)

AK:THIS IS INTENSE! PHELEN KELL HAS ON THE MALICIOUS INTENT!!!! EVAN LEVINE IS SLOWLY FADING, BUT HE WON'T TAP OUT!

MR:CONCEDE DAMN YOU CONCEDE!!!!

JS:NO! COME ON! KEEP ALIVE! HERE COMES TEAM FWF! SYPHON FISSION AND TEAM CGI BREAK THEM AT THE RAMP! THEY AREN'T LETTING THEM HELP!!!!

AK:EVAN LEVINE! HE'S NOT MOVING! IS HE OUT COLD?!?!

MR:IT'S LiGiL! HE'S BACK IN THE RING! LiGiL GOES FOR KELL, but it's Flyer! Flyer just emerged out of nowhere! Flyer catches LiGiL and drops him into the mat with Cold Snow! Dear god! LiGiL is down, Kell has the Malicious Intent, and the referee grabs Evan's hand... up once, and it falls! Up once more, and it falls again! The referee raises his hand once more... AND IT FALLS!!!!

*Ding, ding, ding*

JS:WHAT! THAT'S NOT FAIR! LOOK AT THE GOD DAMN RULES!!!

Meygon:And your winner, VIA PASS OUT, and NEW... INTERNET WRESTLING ORGANIZATION CHAMPION... PHELEN KELL!!!!

JS:NO! NO! NO! NO!!!

MR:THIS IS GREAT!

JS:WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MAX! THIS IS A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE! A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE I'S TELL YA!

MR:I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! KELL DEFEATED THE FWF!

JS:THEY AREN'T DEFEATED MAX! THEY'LL GET KELL FRIDAY! I'S TELL YA! I'S TELL YA!!!

(Jason Storm breaks into tears, as he pounds the announce table. We see Phelen Kell holding the World title high in the air, with Team CGI and High Flyer standing around him.)

JS:It's just not fair I's tell ya!!!

MR:For a dejected Jason Storm, and a beautiful Ashley Keller, this is Max Riot... GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!!

**Fade Out**