Monday Night Meltdown|
World Title Match
Special Guest Referee:Evan Levine
Special Guest Enforcer:Phelen Kell
Aaron Kain vs. Psycho Jay
*Aaron Kain's never had a shot at the major prize...
maybe he can keep his eye on it this time, at his best
oppertuinity to do so*
North American Title Tournament
High Flyer vs. Sam Potright
World Tag Team Title Matchup(Arrows)
Special Guest Referees:The Prep Kids
Suicide Kings -c- vs. Sam Potright & Donnie Daze
Blue Light Special Match(Jack Night)
K-Mart Kelvin Martin vs. Billy Ray
Carlos Lopez vs. Phyre
United States Title Match(Malone)
Rob Riot vs. Cyanide -c-
Television Title Match(Billy Ray)
Spaz -c- vs. Mike Extreme vs. Ash Robinson
(We see none other than the IWO logo slowly fade in and out of the screen, while we hear the familiar heartbeat pulsate throughout the television speakers. This repeats three times as slowly, the logo stays on the screen. Then, a bolt of lightning comes from the sky, erupting the logo into flames...
"Snooze Button" by Snot is heart playing in the background as we fade into the arena, fans cheering like crazy. We fade to MR, JS, and AK stationed at the booth.)
MR:Fans, Meltdown is going to be a hell of a builder tonight for the huge pay per view this weekend. Most of you know many of the matches that will occur, mainly by looking at the web page earlier this week. Tonight however, will be Aaron Kain's first World Title opportuinity as he faces Jay.
JS:Finals of the NA tournament as Flyer battles Potright, and much more...
AK:I'm tired... let's go right to our first match!
Carlos Lopez vs. Phyre
MR: Well, here we go for our first match.
JS: Carlos Lopez will be taking on Phyre.
AK: Phyre used to be a great force in the IWO. Who know's what
MR: I guess he got lazy or something.
JS: Yeah. Even I could kick his ass now.
MR: The hell you could. He'd wipe the floor with you, and half the IWO.
AK: What about Lopez?
JS: He's my choice for this one.
MR: Let's go to the ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all
The IWO is proud to present, this match with no significant
even excitement. This match is set for one fall. Introducing first,
Toledo, Ohio. He stands at 7' 8", and weights in at 622 pounds. He is
master of the Revolution, Phhhhyyyyyyyyrreeee!!!!!!!!
[-"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to blast throughout the arena. The
gives a somewhat good reaction as Phyre walks towards the ring-]
JS: If you ask me, Phyre is a Phlamer.
MR: No one asked you.
Ring Announcer: And his opponents, from... we don't know because he
his roster. Standing at... we don't know because he didn't do his
Weighing in at... we don't know because he didn't do his roster. The
of... we don't know because he didn't do his roster. Carrrlooooosssss
[-"We Don't Know Carlos Lopez's theme music because he didn't do his
by We Don't Know Because he didn't do his roster, begins to blast
the arena. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Lopez makes his way to
ring. Mainly because no one knows anything about him because he didn't
*DING DING DING*
MR: Lazy son of a [beep]. Didn't even do his roster.
AK: The two men are squaring off. This should be a great match.
JS: Actually, it's going to be very boring. Horribly boring.
AK: So why don't you leave.
JS: I'm too tired. Is there a coffee vender around here?
MR: I don't think there is such a thing at an IWO event. You can find
JS: That'll make it worse. I need something to wake up.
AK: Lopez and Phyre lock up. We would say that by being the bigger man,
pushed him into the corner, but we don't know how big Lopez is because
didn't do his roster. So Phyre pushes him into the corner!
JS: He hits some...zzzzZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
JS: Thanks... he hits some knees to Lopez.
MR: He lets up. Lopez is holding his stomach. He stumbles out of the
and Phyre hits a bull dog.
AK: Lopez is stumbling to his feet. Phyre throws him to the ropes and
him down with a huge clothesline.
JS: Phyre picks him up over his head. He slams him to the mat with a
press slam! That looks like it hurt a lot.
MR: I can bet that it did.
AK: Phyre picks him up again and throws him into the corner! He
and whips Phyre into the corner. Carlos runs at him and hits him with a
clothesline. It looked like Phyre's head hit the metal post!
MR: Phyre comes out of the corner dazed. Lopez runs him over with a
clothesline. Carlos picks him up and kicks him in the chest. He hits a
One, two, kick out!!!
AK: Both men are getting up. They tie up! Phyre kicks Carlos in the
and suplexes him. Phyre gets up and picks Lopez up again. He hits a
JS: Lopez is lying on the mat. Phyre hits a leg drop! He pins him! One,
kick out! Another kick out for Carlos!
MR: Phyre looks to get getting frustrated.
AK: Carlos is getting up. Phyre steps on his hand. That looks like it
JS: Phyre picks him up by his hair. He picks him up and hits a scoop
MR: Phyre gets behind him. He hits a release german suplex.
AK: Damn. This is getting ugly.
JS: Carlos is pushing himself up.
MR: Phyre is putting Lopez between his legs. He picks him up for a
He can't get Lopez up. He is holding Phyre's legs. Lopez back drops
AK: He's now laying the boots into Phyre! Carlos has fire hooked! He
fisherman's suplex on the big guy! One, tw... kick out!!!
JS: Phyre is getting up! Lopez is rushing at him! Phyre ducks and flips
over the top rope to the floor! Phyre is leaning against the ropes. It
like he's trying to catch his breathe. On the floor, Lopez is holding
arm. It looks like he may have hurt himself.
AK: Phyre is going to the outside. He grabs Lopez and throws him into
steel steps shoulder first!!! The steps just flew off!
MR: They're right in front of us now! Phyre is setting him up for a
powerbomb! He lifts him and powerbombs him through the announce
JS: God damn! I don't know what to say about that. It happened right in
of us. Phyre is such a big guy! He slammed Lopez down like he was
MR: Phyre is back in the ring. He is sitting in the corner of the ring.
looks like he's trying to regain some of his momentum.
JS: Yeah. Beating the tar out of Lopez must be a lot of work.
AK: Lopez is actually getting up. He is crawling back into the ring.
MR: That was a hell of a bump he took.
JS: Lopez slides back into the ring. Phyre is letting him get up.
MR: Lopez is up! Phyre is going for a clothesline! Lopez hits a drop
hold! Phyre's down! Carlos has a crossface on Phyre!
AK: Phyre is trying to reach the ropes! He's too far away!
MR: Phyre is pulling himself towards the ropes!
JS: He reaches!!! Lopez reaches the ropes!!!
AK: Look who's coming down!!! Shawn Arrows is coming down!!! He is
chair!!! He throws it into the ring!! The referee doesn't see!
MR: Arrows is up on the apron! Lopez is running towards him! Phyre has
chair! The ref is watching Arrows!! Lopez clocks Arrows! Phyre clocks
with the chair! He is setting up! He has Carlos!!!
JS: THE REVOLUTION (reverse northern lights suplex into the
turnbuckle)!!!!!!! THE REVOLUTION!!!!!!! LOPEZ IS DOWN!!!!!
MR: ONE, TWO, THREE!!!!!
*DING DING DING*
RIng Announcer: Your winner... Phhyyyyyyrrree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AK: Arrows in in the ring!!! He sets Carlos up!!! Arrow Shot DDT onto
chair!!!! LOPEZ IS KNOCKED OUT!!!!!
JS: Arrows is leaving. His work is done! Carlos is injured!
MR: ARROWS HAS THE CHAIR!!!! HE'S POUNDED AT THE KNEES OF LOPEZ!!!
Arrows:Looks like you've been Blindsided by Reality Lopez...
MR: I just got word, something is going on in the back?
JS: And this is a suprise to you?
AK: What a jerk!
(The scene switches to the back at Sam Potright's door. Nikki from the
Hostile Takeover team is knocking on it. Eventually Same answers.)
Sam: What do you want?
Nikki: Um, well Daze just wanted me to come and get you. He wants to discuss
some... strategies for tonight.
Sam: Since when did you become his slave?
Nikki:...look all I know is he asked for you, and he is in his locker room,
Sam: Alright, Beth I'll be right back, stay here, and you...
Sam: Stay with her?
(Sam walks off towards Donnie's locker room when the Suicide Kings come
the opposite way and stop at Nikki.)
Jeff: Good job Nikki..here just like I promised...
(He hands her a picture of an apparent drunken JT playing spin the bottle
with some naked men, Nikki makes an evil eye at it and laughs weirdly as she
wanders off and the Kings walk into Beth's locker room.)
Ryan: Hello Betty!
(Beth starts to yell but the Kings contain her and tie her up and drag her
away as the scene switches over to Daze's room as Sam walks in, startling
Donnie: What do you want?
Sam: Your whore Nikki said you sent for me?
Donnie: What... my whore? Have you been eating paint chips.
Donnie: Listen I didn't send for you! Now is there something YOU need?
(Sam looks anger filled and sprints off back to his room to only find Beth
missing! He becomes raged and tears everything up. He storms out of the
locker room looking pissed as we cut back to ringside. )
Television Title Match
Spaz -c- vs. Mike Extreme vs. Ash Robinson
Meygon: And our next event of the night is for the IWO Television Title….coming to the ring first are our challengers coming to the ring first along side Will Lovelady he stands at 6 foot 5 inches 265 pounds. He is
from Los Angeles California here he is Ash “Shadow” Robinson!!!!!
(as the lights start to dim “Deeper Underground” by Jamiroqai plays over the loud speaker as Ash begins to make his way to the ring as Ash gets into the ring the lights come right back on and the camera goes back onto Meygon to announce the next wrestler)
Meygon: And the next challenger for this match he is a former Extreme Champion he is one of the best in the IWO today he weighted in a 325 pounds and stands at 6 feet nine inches he hails from Chicago Illinois the
king of extreme here in the IWO Mike Exxxxxxxtreeeeeeeemeeeeeeee!!!!
(as “The Unforgiven” by Metallica plays over the loud speakers in the arena as Mike Extreme comes out of the back looking for his first champions ship in some time here in the IWO Mike gets into the ring as Extreme and Ash stand there are stare at each other)
Meygon: And coming to the ring last he is your IWO Television Champion half of on of the best Tag Teams in the IWO he didn’t weight in before the match here he is your IWO TV Champion…………………Spaz!!!!
(as Spaz’s theme music comes on Spaz comes running out of the back right into the ring as Extreme and Ash look ready for him as Spaz slides into the ring Extreme and Ash double team Spaz booting him to the head over and
MR: And this one is under way for the IWO TV Title here on Monday Night Meltdown!!!
JS: What is there to be so hyped about? It is first off the TV Title and second off look who you all got in the ring there jobber number one Ash……..jobber number two our TV Champion Spaz……….my money here is on the
only good wrestler in the ring right now and that is Mike Extreme!
AK: Man JS you are so rude. Spaz is one of the best Tag Team Champions of all time! And he is going to make one hell of a singles wrestler too look he all ready won the TV Title!
MR: All right lets get back to the action in the ring where we have Ash and Mike Extreme right now pounding away at our IWO TV Champion Spaz.
JS: Extreme and Ash have Spaz up they throw him off of the ropes double clothesline on Spaz’s ass as Ash goes in pounding away at Spaz all by him self Extreme is backing off a little bit.
AK: Extreme aint backing off he is going to the top rope!! Extreme is on the top and off of the rope he goes missile drop kick to Ash and Ash falls out of the ring to the outside of the apron and he has landed hard and
Mike looks a little bit shaken up from that spill also.
MR: But look at our TV Champion Spaz he is at his feet and he his Extreme with a double axe handle from behind knocking him to the mat. Spaz is trying to take this match over with Ash laying on the outside of the ring
hurt from his fall he just took not too long ago from the center of the ring.
JS: And Spaz has Extreme in a scoup slam down onto the mat he goes and watch out Spaz! Ash just attacked Spaz from behind knocking him to the
jobber on jobber abuse you got to hate it to see a usfull Jobber like
and Ash take abuse!
AK: Ash is working Spaz over in the corner right now pummeling him
fists and boots to the stomach and ribs. Spaz is getting worked over
hard here. But here comes Extreme from the blind side taking out Ash
Robinson. Ash is knocked down to the mat and Mike Extreme is
the deliver blow after blow to this young rookie!
MR: Spaz looks hurt over there in the corner of the ring he is just
there in a daze while Extreme and Ash are fighting for their lives and
the IWO TV Championship of the World. Ewwwwwww Mike Extreme with the
blow crippling Ash to the mat and Spaz still hasn’t moved in a while.
Extreme looks like he is going in for the kill!
JS: He is setting up his FAT OF THE DAMNED FINISHER ON ASH looks like
going to find out how tons of those other felt when they tried to get
Extremes title and he hits it and Ash is knocked cold the fuck out!!
AK: And Spaz saves his title by taking Extreme out and Spaz has Extreme
in the SPAZ EFFECT FINISHER!!! And he hits its also!!! Spaz is going
MR: What the fuck is Simon Seaman doing down the ring! Ash is back up
Seamon has a chair in his hand and
JS: Seamon I love this guy just nails Ash Robinson with a fucking chair
the bell is sounded!!
AK: Ya but who won Spaz had Extreme pinned and then there was Seamon
getting hit with a freaking chair.
MR: I don’t know let go to our ring announcer Meygon for the offical
Meygon: And you winner of this match………….by DQ………………Ash Robinson!!
MR: SO Ash gets the win but Spaz keeps the title due to the DQ victory
JS: I am telling you Mike Extreme was ripped off here tonight. And I
AK: You love what?
(Sam is seen backstage and he runs into Nikki and she is terrified!)
Sam: YOU LITTLE SLUT! WHERE IS SHE! WHO PUT YOU TOO IT! SPEAK!
(Sam lands a big right, knocking her out and then takes the "blackmail"
picture and rips it throws it in the air as he continues you rampage through
Ring Announcer: This match is a "BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL MATCH,"......introducing first,......the challenger,....
("Rock the Casbah" by the Clash blasts over the P.A., as "K-Mart" Kevin
Martin comes out wearing his tights with a sleeveless torn Hulkamania
shirt. The fans are somewhat mixed in their reaction to him because of
some of his actions as of late. They really don't know what direction
he's headed in. He makes a pose, and 6'8" Horatio Johnson, Garbagial
Engineer, follows close behind him, wearing nothing but wrestling boots
and overalls, carrying a large bucket of teal blue paint.)
MA: That Horatio Johnson is a big man,...
Ring Announcer: Coming from Detroit, Michigan, standing at 6'3 1/2",
and weighing in at 245 lbs,....he
(Kevin runs into the ring and grabs the mic from the ring announcer.
He lifts his arm to the man, and he tries to run away, but runs into big
6'8" Horatio,.....the gentle giant smiles, and the man runs out of the
ring. Kevin starts to speak.)
K-Mart: Everyone like my new hardcore T-shirt? (fans boo,...he laughs
and tears it off) We talked this over earlier guys,.....the stips of
this match are plain and simple. Billy Ray, if I win, you get yourself
some help you poor sick excuse for a wrestler,.....if you
win,.......(fans start to cheer and Kevin looks around suspiciously toward
them),...I,....go on a date,.....with that guy whose nickname's "Double A."
But, Billy, since the board took the liberty to change the name of this
match from a Double A Match to a Blue Light Special Match,....I decided
to change it again: this is a LIGHT BLUE Special Match!
(He looks toward Horatio, who's in the corner, watching IWO ring crew
set up a pole,....they finish as Kevin finishes his last sentence.
Horatio begins to put the bucket of teal paint on a rope hanging from a
perpendicular with this pole.)
MR: What on earth is Kevin Martin up to?
AK: I don't know, but his attitude sure is changing since his debut
here a few weeks ago,...
JS: Please,....Kevin Martin just wants to get Billy Ray some help!
And to do that,...he's brought in St,....
(his broadcast partners look at him funny, making sure they don't say
the popular name or title of Kevin's manager, to which the IWO does not
yet have a copyright.)
JS: ,...er,...H.J. the Garbagial Engineer!
Kevin Martin: Billy Ray, Light Blue Special Match Rules! First one to
cover his opponent in the special light blue paint Horatio and I mixed
at Home Depot yesterday wins the match!! Same stips as before,....only
a new way to win! Some come out here, you drunken slob,...and let me
AK: Please, Kevin Martin has no idea what he wants to do with his
life,...he just wants to win matches after being on the shelf for so long.
And what's with his latest obsession with paint?
JS: Oh, please,...every hardc,...
(Billy Ray slips out from under the ring,...drunk as a skunk again. He
sneaks up behind K-Mart as Horatio yells out to him,......and swings
him into the ropes, nailing K-Mart with a clothesline on his return.)
MR: The Light Blue Special Match underway,...with Kevin Martin just
being nailed by a vicious clothesline from Billy Ray! Billy Ray looks
like he has some business to take care of with "Big K."
JS: He just doesn't want to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!
AK: Billy Ray has just laid Kevin down with a sidewalk slam! He drags
Martin up by his ponytail,...and now he's applying some submission hold
to Kevin,....looks like,....what does it look like?
MR: That would be a Cobra Clutch, my friend,...thanks to our good
friend Seargant Slaughter! YOOOOOO JOE!
JS: I can't believe he just said that,.....
MR: Where's the ref in all this? Has the bell even been rung?
AK: That big man, Horatio,....the 6'8" monster's on the apron behind
Billy Ray, in the corner,....he just pushed Billy and Kevin into the
corner located diagonally from it! OH MAN! Martin's out, across the
turnbuckle! Billy Ray's out on the canvas!
MR: And with that, some genius has decided to finally ring the bell!
JS: What a start to the match that will be Billy Ray's turning point!
Wait a second, both men are still out, but what's that Horatio's
staring at at the ceiling?!
MR: It's big,...and several shades of green!
AK: HA HA HA! THAT'S A HUGE WATERMELON, LIKE THE EXPLOSIVE ONE
HORATIO CARRIES AROUND IN HIS GARBAGE CAN! ONLY,...NOT EXPLOSIVE?!
JS: Martin's coming around,...come on, buddy!
MR: A harness has just come down from the ceiling,.....it's
huge,....oh no,....Horatio's running to it!
JS: Don't do it, Horatio! It's a trap! Read Paragraph 6A of your
Garbagial Engineer Handbook!
AK: Is there even such thing as the word "garbagial"?
JS: Of course there is, Horatio is a Garbagial Engineer, silly! Why
would he just make up words like that?!
(AK shakes his head)
MR: Sty,...I mean Horatio,....is strapping into that harness,.....he's
now in it,....and looking up for someone to lift him up to that giant
AK: First paint, now watermelon,...
JS: K-Mart is staring at that bucket of teal paint,....and he's
dragging Billy Ray toward it,...
AK: Horatio's up!
MR: And he's stopped about 15 feet from the ground!? OH MY GOD!!
HERE COMES THE BARTENDER WITH A BASEBALL BAT! HE'S RUNNING TO THE RING!
HORATIO SEES WHAT HE'S DONE NOW! HE'S LEFT KEVIN MARTIN OPEN TO ATTACK
IN THIS SPECIAL MATCH WITHOUT A REF!
AK: Didn't we see Horatio talking like a person with a highly above
average I.Q. a few weeks back?
JS: I don't know what you're talking about, AK,.....K-Mart's
up,...reaching to tip over that paint! OH NO,....the BARTENDER HAS JUST HIT
K-MART WITH THAT BASEBALL BAT! HE'S FALLEN ON BILLY RAY!
MR: K-Mart has rolled to the side of Billy Ray, and he's holding his
chest! Serves the man right for having Horatio interfere in this match
before it was underway! Maybe now we'll see some of the "technical
wrestling" Kevin Martin advertises with his mouth.
JS: But how are we going to see that if a manager has just critically
MR: Oh please,...
JS: Bartender in the ring with a bottle of whiskey! He splashes it
all over The Drunken Bastard's face,...he's now wide awake! Bartender
points out that Kevin is hurt! Billy Ray stumbles,...staggering as he
tries to climb the turnbuckle,....he's sliding around the pole, he's so
drunk!! Billy Ray, you really need,....
AK: SHUT UP! YOU KNOW MARTIN DOESN'T WANT TO HELP BILLY RAY! THAT'S
JUST A FACADE!
JS: A Fuh-what?
MR: Whether or not our former Pacific Champ needs help is yet to be
determined, my colleagues, and if it were to be and affect his
employment, it would have to be by the executive board,...OH NO! OUR Pacific
Champ, AWS MAN (also Known as Bill) is running out, holding his belt in
hand! HE TAPS THE BARTENDER ON THE SHOULDER!
JS: HOUSTON, WE HAVE CONTACT! BARTENDER'S OUT! YES, KEVIN MARTIN'S
NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HOLDS MY OPINION ON BILLY RAY!
AK: HORATIO IS SCREAMING,...HE REMINDS ME OF DEBO FROM THE SPIKE LEE
MR: BILLY RAY ALMOST HAS THAT PAINT TIPPED OVER! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN
AS BILL) SHAKES THE POLE, CAUSING THE ALREADY OFF-KILTER BILLY RAY TO
BE KNOCKED DOWN! HE TURNS AROUND,....IS HE PISSED!!
JS: Serves the man right,.....
AK: Billy Ray walks over to AWS Man (also known as Bill),...knocks him
off the ring! Oh no,...Billy's up on the turnbuckle, but he's not
going for the paint,....he's going to attempt,...(looks at MR to get him to
name the move)
MR: Hell, don't look at me,...
JS: Some South of the Border Move on AW,....no, BIlly RAY MISSES,
RIGHT INTO THE BARRICADES! Billy Ray has just hurt his spine! AWS MAN
(Also Known As Bill) looks distraught! He's still got his Pacific Title
in hand,....K-Mart has is up, but still holding on to his chest,...come
on, champ,...help Martin get the Drunken Bastard some,...er,...help!
MR: He's up, but in the corner with his back facing AWS Man (also
known as Bill)! Oh no,...I hope he's not going to do what I think he is!
AK: Horatio has just been lifted up all the way to that watermelon,
but even so, he's still watching the action and yelling down at AWS Man
(also known as Bill)!
JS: WHAT THE?!
MR: AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) grabs a mop from under the
ring,......he's on the apron,....K-Mart's still not in this time zone! AWS Man
(Also Known As Bill) tips over the teal paint! OH MY GOD! K-Mart is
covered in that TEAL GOO!! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO'S COVERED HIM!
JS: ::covering head in shame:: Oh,...no,...
(The Bell is rung, and AWS Man,..also known as Bill, trucks it out of
there, as the Bartender comes around, and is checking on Billy Ray.
K-Mart is on his hands and knees in the corner, covered in paint, trying
to breathe despite being hit with the bat earlier.)
Ring Announcer: Your Winner,....by rules of Light Blue Special
Match,...."THE DRUNKEN BASTARD," BILLY RAY!
MR: Billy Ray suddenly comes to,....and gets in the ring,...boy, is he
mad,...he gets the mic!
Billy Ray: AWS Man (also known as Bill),....you have just shown your
true colors tonight by interfering in my f(bleep)ing business! Your
f(bleep)ing f(bleep),....I didn't need your help, but either way, this son
of a bitch has to date Arn Anderson,...
MR: I can't believe he just said that name,...
JS: Don't be such a baby!
AK: Ha ha,...that'll be funny, on live TV too!
Billy Ray: ,...and I'm gonna show you what I'm gonna do come PPV time,
(Bartender climbs in the ring as Billy Ray throws down the mic, pulls
K-Mart to his feet, kicks him in the groin,....and,...)
MR: BEER BOMB! BILLY RAY HAS JUST HIT THE BEER BOMB AFTER BEATING
K-MART IN THIS MATCH!
AK: Bartender, with the mic!
Bartender: Your next IWO Pacific Champ, "THE DRUNKEN BASTARD," BILLY
::"Rock The Party" by P.O.D. blasts throughout the arena, as Billy Ray
and Bartender make their way backstage,....K-Mart gets up, and looks at
the ceiling for Horatio.::
JS: There's a hole about 6'8" tall in that watermelon.
MR: Ha ha,...I guess Horatio just couldn't help himself. Silly
Garbage m,...I mean, Garbagial Engineer!
(all together): Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
::K-Mart makes his way up the ramp, his head lowered in shame as the
fans cheer, wanting to see him go on a date with Arn Anderson next time
he's on live TV.::
MR: Maybe "K-Mart" Kevin Martin has learned that trying to please
everyone is not the way to go,....
JS: Please, he's just distraught that Billy Ray gets to continue in
his drunken ways.
AK: Whatever,....either way it leaves a bitter taste in Martin's
mouth, I'm sure. So while Billy may still think Martin's a jobber, I think
Martin's still unsatisfied.
MR: I couldn't have said it better! But Billy may be unsatisfied as
well, by not having a clear-cut win in either of these two IWO
(The Kings are seen in the back walking from the outside in and they look on
the monitor and see Sam knocking out Nikki.)
Jeff: That was harsh!
Ryan: Oh well, she was just a lamb to the slaughter. No skin off our backs.
Jeff: Yeah, but Daze will be pissed! That's his woman!
Ryan: I smell a clean victory tonight brother.
Jeff: You better believe it.
(They walk off in an opposite direction at the same time Sam comes barging
into that area and he's yelling Beth's name. He is looking all around when
suddenly a forklift shoots foward and hits the brakes right at Sam and these
metal bins fly off and nails Potright, knocking him out. From behind the
wheel steps...Mike Extreme! His picks up Potright and and puts him in one of
the bins and puts a lock on it, and walks away laughing and counting some
AK: It's time for the U.S. Title Match!
JS: Whoopie. It's the Aussie loser and the British moron.
MR: Uh, actually, Jason... Cyanide is from New Zealand.
AK: Let's go to the ring!
Ring Announcer: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for
the IWO United States Heavyweight title! First...
("Luvstruck" by the Southside Spinners plays as Rob Riot and Vixen come
out to a chorus of boos. I guess England isn't that popular or
Ring Announcer: From Sheffield, England... weighing in at two hundred
and thirty-five pounds... he is ROB RIOT!
(Riot rolls into the ring and awaits the champion.)
Ring Announcer: And his opponent...
("Terra Firma" by Tommy and Phil Emmanuel plays as Cyanide...
accompanied by Callista and Stephanie, comes out to a decent pop,
because the majority of the fans here love his movies.)
Ring Announcer: Originally from Cantebary, New Jersey... now based in
Hollywood... weighing in at three hundred, fifteen and three quarter
pounds... he is CYANIDE!
(Cyanide gets into the ring and snatches the microphone from the Ring
Cyanide: Hey, fuckhead. I'm from CANTERBURY, New ZEALAND. Bah... girls!
(Callista and Stephanie step forward and both of them execute the
devastating and infamous Groin Kick of Death on the Ring Announcer,
killing him dead, because both of them are using cyanide-tipped knives
that slip out of their shoes. Like in From Russia With Love, that James
Bond movie. Oh, I digress... Cyanide throws the ring announcer out of
the ring, then Riot attacks him from behind.)
AK: Riot unloads with rights to the back of Cyanide's head, and tries
Irish whip... HOW IRONIC!
(Cyanide reveses the Irish whip and catches Riot with a T-Bone Suplex.)
AK: Yeah. You know, the whole Irish-British hatred thing.
JS: They seem perfectly fine...
(Rob Riot rolls out of the ring, but Stephanie runs over and slaps Riot
in the face, then Callista throws him back in the ring.)0
MR: No, stupid. Northern Ireland and the United Kingdom have problems
because of religion crap.
(Riot kicks Cyanide in the gut, then goes for a dropkick, which
staggers, but doesn't knock down Cyanide. Cyanide's big, anyway. Riot,
not taking the hint that dropkicks SUCK against big men, does it again.
Same result. So does he go for a leg takedown? Does he try a chop
HELL NO! Riot goes up top. So OF COURSE Cyanide crotches Riot on the
ropes, effectively keeping the possibility of little Riots running
around silent for a little longer.)
JS: But Max, religion is a silly little thing that no one really cares
MR: That's because you're an on-again, off-again atheist.
(Cyanide climbs up with Riot and decides to play dodgeball with the
ring, using Riot as the ball. So he nails Riot off the top with a
gargoyle suplex. I guess the ring is out. Cyanide then walks over and
drops a few elbows on Riot for the hell of it.)
JS: Alright, but why is it so ironic, Ashley? WHO CARES ABOUT RIOT
AK: No one does.
(Cyanide gets bored, so he picks Riot up, sets him up for a powerbomb,
then picks him up into a crucifix powerbomb. Riot yells, "BLOODY HELL"
before taking the Cylock Powerbomb.)
JS: Okay, so why did you bring up the irony thing?
AK: SHUT UP, JASON! WE'VE MISSED A LOT OF THE MATCH!
JS: There's a match?
(Of course, by the time we get back to the match, Cyanide grabs Riot in
a full nelson and puts him in the Dark Side of the Moon. Riot, being
absolute wuss he is, taps out.)
*ding, ding, ding*
MR: It's over!? ALREADY?!
JS: Well, shit.
New Ring Announcer: Th wnner ove tis mtch... ROB ROIT!
(Suddenly, Callista and Stephanie run over and do the Double Groin Kick
of Death, killing the new ring announcer. Another one runs out.)
New New Ring Announcer: The winner of this match, and STILL IWO United
States Heavyweight champion... CYANIDE!!!!!
(Cyanide grabs his belt and apathetically celebrates, but Simon Seaman
comes out to a mixed reaction.)
Seaman: Hey, Cyanide! Enjoy your belt, because on Sunday, I'm taking it
("Deeper Underground" by Jamiroquai plays as Ash "Shadow" Robinson
out to a chorus of boos.)
Robinson: Hey, Seaman... are you as delusional as Onslaught, tonight?
*I'm* taking the title from Cyanide!
(Seaman, already headed towards the ring, stops and turns to Robinson,
allowing Cyanide to blindside him with a clothesline, then throws him
AK: It's breaking down! Robinson rushes to the ring and attacks Cyanide
from behind! And...
(I.D. rushes to ringside to join the fray.)
JS: Man! Everyone from the US title match is headed toward the ring!
("Never Bow Down" by That Band plays as Kevin Martin walks out, and
starts handing out stuff from K-Mart that people don't want to the
AK: We'll, uh, get this mess straightened when we get back!
MR: Ok, so now, we're ready to get down to our next match up. Next up, we
have the World Tag Team Titles on the line, as the Suicide Kings, put their
tag titles on the line, against Sam Potright, and Donnie Daze.
AK:And we just got word that My Dick got Sam Potright out of his cage, as we are ready to go on all levels.
JS: Thats right, and just to make sure this match isn't completely boring,
we've got the Prep Kids out here to be our special guest referees for this
AK: I really don't see how this match is going to be able to go on with
these three teams around. All of these men want those tag titles, the
Suicide Kings don't want to lose them, and well, we've got one heck of a
match coming up here!
MR: Thats right, so lets just go on down to the ring, with our announcer for
the introductions, and get this match underway.
Ring Announcer: Fans, this match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the
IWO World Tag Team Titles! Introducing to the ring first, the challengers
tonight, weighing in at a combined weight of, screw it, no one really cares!
Coming to the ring now!
Donnie Daze's music comes on throughout the arena, as Daze, and Potright,
begin to slowly walk down to the ring. Daze slides in the ring as he gets to
it, and Potright walks up the steps, and into the ring. The two men stare at
each other for a brief second, and then go to a corner.
Ring Announcer: They are Donnie Daze, and Sam Potright! And now, their
opponents, and the defending IWO World Tag Team Champions! Weighing in at a
combined weight of 486 pounds, and now making their way to the ring, they
are, the Suicide Kings!!
'One Step Closer' Linkin Park begins to plya over the arena speaker system,
as the fans cheer. Jeff and Ryan King, both run to the ring, and slide in
getting met by Daze and Potright
MR: Daze and Potright, trying to get an early advantage, as the referees for
this match, aren't even out here yet! Daze swings Ryan King to the ropes,
and Daze runs, going for a clothesline, Ryan ducks under, spins Daze around,
and nails him with a giant clothesline, sending Daze down to the mat.
Potright, working on Jeff in the corner, as he's laying in boots to the
stomach, but theres Ryan!
AK: Ryan spins Potright around, and lifts him up onto his shoulders!! Jeff
slowly climbs to the top rope, but Potright slides off of Ryan's shoulders,
and grabs him, german suplexing him into the turnbuckle, and crotching Jeff
on the turnbuckle all in one move.
JS: Here come the referees, finally!
MR: Jordan Howitt, and Randall McCloud are in the ring, and they're just
sitting back in a corner watching this. Daze is climbing up in the ring, but
The Pred Kids have him blocked in the corner, and they are acting like they
don't know it. Daze can't hit either one of them, or he is going to get his
team disqualified. Randall turns around, and clotheslines Daze, sending him
back to the outside.
AK: Potright, working away on Jeff King, he swings him to the ropes, and
nails a powerslam, and then follows it up with a leg drop, but gets
dropkicked as he stands up, by Ryan King. Ryan runs, and a nails a jumping
DDT, and then rolls over for the pin, but The Pred Kids aren't moving towards
the pin to even attempt to count!
JS: So, like we've said, this match isn't going to be an easy one for either
of these two teams, as The Prep Kids are trying to weaken both of these teams
up, giving them a better chance to get a win over these two teams at a later
MR: Ryan picks up Potright, and swings him to the ropes, he catches him
coming off, and nails a spinebuster, and theres Jeff King with a leg drop!
Donnie Daze, slowly getting back in the ring, and he runs after Jeff King,
Jeff goes for a back body drop, but Daze flips off of him, spins him around,
kick, DDT! Daze gets up and Ryan turns him around, Ryan goes for a DDT, but
Daze blocks it, and reverses with a tossing Northern Lights Suplex, sending
Ryan onto Jeff! Daze leaps over the two, and spins around, dropkicing Ryan
in the head, and Potright comes in and lands an elbow on Jeff, but theres
McCloud and Howitt!
AK: The Prep Kids, going to work on Jeff King, and Sam Potright, as they
take them to the outside of the ring, and run them into a pair of steps, and
Ryan and Daze are fighting on the inside!
JS: This is crazy! McCloud picks up Potright, and runs ihm head first into
the steel pole, and then goes for a chair! While McCloud is looking for a
chair, Howitt gets Jeff King, and puts him up against Potright, ramming them
both repeatedly into the steel pole, and now he's holding them in place, and
here comes McCloud with a chair!
AK: Oh my God! McCloud just killed both Potright and Jeff King with that
chair shot, and Donnie Daze just nailed Dazed and Confused on Ryan King!
Donnie is making a cover, and McCloud is going in the ring, he drops down!!
JS: Howitt just pulled Daze off of Ryan, and out of the ring. Howitt picks
Daze up, and cracks him in the head with a steel chair, sending him crashing
back down to the floor.
MR: All hell has broken loose in this match, and we don't have any officials
to come out and stop it.
AK: The Prep Kids have Potright and Jeff King, both out cold on one side of
the ring, and they have layed out Donnie Daze on the other side, now they've
both got Ryan King. Double Top Rope Powerbomb!
JS: They roll Ryan to the floor, and are going out after him! Here come the
offciails to try and break this mess up!!
MR: Fans...I've just been informed, that this match has been ruled a No
AK: We've got to go to commercial, while we get these guys seperated!
MR:Coming back from commercial, we've realized that Aaron Kain has not made his way into the building as of yet! I wonder what in god's name could be going on, because Kain should have been here hours ago!
JS:Chalk that up to Mr. My Dick over there...
Semi-Finals North American Title Tournament
High Flyer vs. Sam Potright
MR:This is definitly going to be a hell of a nice match right here. Two of the most talented wrestlers out in the IWO today, going one on one, winner takes the final spot in the North American Title Matchup at the Pay Per View this sunday!
JS:Whoever wins this matchup will definitly have alot of baggage going into Utter Obliteration. Potright already has the Major Push tournament, as well as his tag team title oppertuinity. Potright could very well be involved in five matches. Then there's Flyer, who'll be involved in a ?¿? death matchup this weekend against the Mysterious One. People who go into that type of match setup, usually don't come out alive.
AK:You got that, the Mysterious One is tenacious when inside his own set match rules. You have to wonder what exactly Flyer was thinking about when he accepted this matchup over the weekend.
MR:Let's get to the ring for the introductions.
(The camera fades into the ring, where our local ring announcer sits, then, the familar rifts of "Loco" by Coal Chamber resinate over the pa system.)
Ring Announcer:This next matchup, is a semi-final North American Title Matchup. The winner will go on to that matchup later this weekend for a shot to become the North American Champion. Introducing first, from Bethlehem, PA, and weighing in at 204 pounds... he is the master of the Flying Moon Shot, here is High Flyer!
("Pull" is heard as white fireworks shoot up at the stage, engulfing the dimmed arena into light. Flyer is shown at the top of the stage, sledgehammer in hand, and a cockily grin on his face. He has on his tradition camo-ring pants, along with an orange shirt saying "Lead by Example Dumbass." He does his traditional pose, recieving tremendous boos, as he makes his way to the ring. Flyer then grabs a microphone.)
Flyer:As we all know, this coming sunday at Utter Obliteration, the Mysterious One and myself will clash in what will nevertheless be a dramatic, death defying matchup. Many ask me why I attacked the Mysterious One in the first place, what my beef was with him. Rather simple to tell you the truth... so simple that Max over there can understand it...
JS:Haha! He got you good!
MR:Shut up Jason.
Flyer:It's obvious when you think about it. Instead of the Mysterious One, the legend, we can have myself... the Legend Killer. To take the Mysterious One out of his game, out of his career, is something that no one has ever done, and to be the one to do it....
AK:He wants to take out the Mysteroius One!
Flyer:To be the one to do it would be like recieving the key to the city. Mysterious One, crazy symbol man, you're time will come sunday... Potright... tonight... you will be the inferior man, to a man who's done everything you'll never have the chance to do...
("Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine plays as the fans go totally histatic.)
MR:Did you see Flyer jump! Dear god!
(Sam Potright walks out from the backstage area, microphone in toe.)
Sam Potright:I'm inferior? Who's inferior, Yeah, weneeda check the interior of the system who cares about only one culture... and that is why We gotta take the Power Back.
(Potright begins to slowly change look to some degree, as Pandora's box has opened.)
JS:Oh hell no!
Potright/Pandora:Flyer! Let's take this to the crowd, to the people, the same people that made you, but you now make fun of. Let's take this everywhere we can. Flyer... let's make this a tune up match for the both of us... Extreme Title Rules...
Flyer:You want me to fight you... in an extreme rules matchup? Tonight?
(The fans are cheering for the proposal, however Flyer doesn't seem that thrilled. Pandora begins to make his way to the ring, as he climbs in.)
Flyer:Potright.... I've got an answer for you... NO!
(Flyer lounges at Potright and takes him down with a quick flying forearm.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
MR:Flyer seems to not accept the challenge from Pandora.... he must be scared of a lunatic like Sam.
JS:No, Flyer's a smart man. He knows Potright, and Potright is used to being one extreme son of a bitch. He's used to swinging chairs, driving people through tables, and Flyer realizes that if Potright does that in this enviorment, he moves on to Sunday.
AK:Flyer has Pandora up to his feet, as he tosses him off the ropes. Pandora ducks underneath a clothesline, as Pandora comes back off. Flyer goes for a hudaconrada, but Pandora catches him in mid-air. Flyer tries to fight off it, as he rolls down Pandora's back, not even a count on the pinfall attempt.
MR:Both men are back to their feet. Pandora goes for a swift kick to Flyer's temple, as Flyer does the same back to Pandora. Flyer's kick may have rattled Pandora... He seems to be losing the edge he had.
JS:I guess Potright's back, as Flyer kicks Potright in the gut, and sends him down into the mat with a huge double arm ddt. Potright hit the mat hard, face first.
MR:Flyer grabs Potright back up off the canvas, and sends him into the corner. Flyer goes to the opposite, cartwheel, backflip...
AK:Potright caught Flyer in a full nelson... FULL NELSON SLAM! Flyer's head just bounced off the mat! Dear god!
MR:Awesome counter by Potright out of the cartwheel backflip elbow. Potright just took Flyer out of his game entirely. Potright's time to work on the offensive, as he picks Flyer up off the canvas. He hooks and drives him square into the mat with a huge russian leg sweep.
JS:Floatover by Potright, NO! 1-2-NO! Kickout by Flyer! Good job Flyer! Get that shoulder up!
AK:It's called commentating, not spectatorship Jason.
MR:Potright picks Flyer back up off the mat, and hooks him, taking him over in a double underhook vertical suplex.
JS:The shrimp is going to town!
AK:I don't think he's the Shrimp anymore. He's one of the most demented Extreme Champions since Mad Max.
JS:That's a rather large comparision there Ashley, don't forget who Mad Max was.
MR:Potright has Flyer back up off the mat, and turns him around. He waist lock hooks him, and takes him over. Potright holds on, and hooks Flyer, taking him over in an inverted suplex. Still holding on, Potright sends Flyer down to the mat hard with a vicious ddt, and then rolls him up with that... 1-2-NO! Flyer gets a shoulder up! Just barely I might add!
AK:Flyer is definitly fading right now, as Potright is under the ring now. He's looking for something, and he pulls out a ladder!
JS:COME ON REFEREE! DISQUALIFY HIM!
MR:He hasn't used it yet Jason, he'll be dqed if he uses it...
AK:Potright's climbing up the ladder, he's going to spring off it, but Flyer catches the ladder with a kick! Potright's falling, and Potright flies into the crowd! Dear god! Dear god! Flyer just sent Potright into the crowd!
JS:Flyer is climbing up the ladder, Potright regaining his sense... FLYER WITH A FRONT FLIP INTO THE CROWD! SHADES OF ROB VAN DAM! DEAR GOD! BOTH MEN ARE BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIVES WITH THAT MOVE!!!
MR:Flyer is trying to get to his feet, pulling himself up from the barricade. He grabs Potright and slings him over. Flyer climbs up to the barricade... THIRD DEGREE FROSTBITE(Cartwheel Elbow Drop)! ON THE FLOOR!
JS:Oh my god! Both men are just being busted to the third degree! Flyer is barely standing, Potright is down. Flyer rolls in and breaks the count, as he tries to shake it off inside the ring.
AK:Potright is getting to his feet, as he grabs Flyer by the leg, pulling him down, and back out of the ring. Potright hammers Flyer with huge rights, as Potright sends Flyer right into the steel! Feet first!
MR:His knees just may have been severly damaged. Good plan by Potright, destroy Flyer's aerial attack...
JS:Potright picks Flyer back up, and hits him with a huge shin-breaker! I think Max hit the nail on the head there. Potright is going to take advantage of his leg.
AK:Potright grabs Flyer and sends the gimp into the ring...
JS:And you call YOURSELF a commentator!
MR:Potright follows him in, as Flyer is trying to regain his balance. Potright grabs Flyer up off the canvas by the hair, and hooks him in a front headlock. He picks Flyer up, high into the air, vertical suplex time... but Potright drops him body first onto the canvas!
JS:Wicked flapjack type move! 1-2-NO! Flyer got a shoulder up again!
AK:Both of these men have given it alot in this matchup tonight. Potright has Flyer fallen on the mat... WALL BREAKER! POTRIGHT'S OLD MOVE! He's got it locked on, wrenching at the legs of Flyer, who's screaming like a banci!
AK:You know... those ghosts?
JS:Flyer is screaming his lungs out, trying to inch his way to the ropes! Potright is just leaning back, and Flyer is taking massive amounts of pain. Flyer could very well not make it to Utter Obliteration this weekend!
MR:Flyer is reaching, and Potright just pulled him right back into the center of the ring! Flyer twists and turns his body, and flips Potright into a sharp shooter position of his own! Flyer releases it, and turns it into an elevated crab! Potright's back is in emense pain now!
JS:But Potright hammers away at Flyer's vunerable legs, sending Flyer down to the canvas. Potright gets back to his feet, as he lifts Flyer off the canvas. Potright hooks Flyer, for a northern lights. Potright takes Flyer over, but Flyer lands on his... no! His knees collapsed when he fell!
MR:Flyer, on his knees, knocks out Potright's legs with his free arm, sending Potright to the mat. Flyer trying to regain use of his legs, as he's hobbling around the ring. Potright back up to his feet, as Flyer sends him back down with a high leg kick. Potright is regaining his composure, as Flyer grabs Potright, and nails him with Cold Snow! Cold Snow out of nowhere!
JS:Flyer is gaining his second wind, the fans can't believe this.
(All of a sudden, over the IWO-Tron appears the Mysterious One, dressed in his usual attire.)
?¿?:Hey Flyer! Maybe you should keep your eyes on the match, instead of the pretty pictures up here.
(Flyer takes a look, and sees the Mysterious One in a familiar place. The Mysterious One takes a side step, as Kate Young is shown tied up in a chair.)
?¿?:Flyer, come out on Meltdown all you wish, and do what you what. Barrage me with insults, pick me apart with words, but Sunday, it'll be simply hell for you. I will drag you into the pits of hell, the pits of fire and brimstone, and all that will be left of you is a chared mess... Flyer... turn around...
(We hear a loud clang noise as we see Potright just hitting Flyer over the head with the Ring Bell.)
MR:Oh my god! Potright just knocked Flyer out cold, and the Mysterious One is playing some mind games with Flyer as we speak! Dear god!
JS:I guess that means Flyer advances to sunday?
AK:It must mean that!
(We fade into the back, as Flyer is being tested for a concussion, having his vision and eyes checked. We then fade into the arena, as "I am your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays. Evan Levine walks out from the back, referee shirt torn at the shoulders on his body. Discord is with him as well.)
Evan Levine:Well, well, well... it's finally come down to the time of the night, when Jay gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter. It's a shame that Aaron Kain isn't here tonight... What a shame too... would have been fun to see Jay be destroyed, but yet somehow retain his championship... So, here's what we're going to do. Since I'm the head official, and Phelen Kell is just some time keeper, worthless, like he is in real life. Psycho Jay will face off against.... Scott Stone here tonight for the world title...
(Discord pulls Levine away from his microphone and whispers something in his ear.)
Evan Levine:What! Stone's not here! Urgh! Fine! Let's go to plan C... Psycho Jay will defend his world heavyweight championship against his best friend Rob Kestler...
(Discord taps Levine on the shoulder.)
Levine:What! Can't you seem I'm doing business here!
(Discord whispers into Levine's ear once more.)
Levine:Damnit! How many times do I have to tell him NOT to take over Kansas and follow with Midget Jamie! Urgh! Fine! That's it, Jay, get out here right now, because I'm going to be the one to personally hand you your ass whooping!
("Sober" by Tool begins to softly play as out from the back walks Phelen Kell, lights flashing all around. Kell has a microphone, as he begins to speak to Evan in the ring.)
Phelen Kell:Evan, you don't realize that, by signing my name into this matchup here this sunday, you've both signed your death warrent. Jay believes that he's better than a legend, and you believe you can go out and injure my student Trent McFarlane, without payback. Well, the payback happens this Sunday, and though it won't be by a chair named PayBack, and although it won't be the undead coming after you, Evan, you will feel nothing more, than a hostile Phelen, in that very ring.
Evan Levine:Very touching Phelen, how you're sticking up for your student like that. If I was your student, I'd hide in the shadows, because to be trained by Phelen Kell is like being trained by Mae Young. Phelen... you're old, you're washed up. You're drive is gone, you said it yourself. Why don't you just rent an apartment next to Ashton and play shuffle board...
("Divine" by KoRn plays up over the pa system as Pyscho Jay is shown coming through the audience. The fans are in shock to see Jay there.)
Jay:Levine, who in the hell do you think you are. Making fun of shuffle board I see? Why, because it's another game you couldn't master? Levine, I'm sick of you, all you're talking, that's all it is. Yack yack yack yack yack... at least I'm action, and Levine...
(Jay slides into the ring.)
Jay:The action begins now!
(Levine charges at Jay, as Jay ducks a clothesline. Jay hammers Levine with the microphone.)
MR:Dear god! We have Utter Obliteration right now! Levine stumbles into the corner, and Jay kicks Evan in the gut! He's going for a Humpinator on Levine! But Levine slides out! Kell slides into the ring, and kicks Evan in the gut! Kell has Levine up for Steel Rain! And now Jay pushes Kell! They're arguing over who should lay out Evan! Kell shoves Jay back, and we've got a brawl here!
JS:NO! NOT THE STUPID OFFICIALS!!!
AK:Look! Evan has a chair... HE MISSED JAY! THE CHAIR BOUNCED OFF AND HIT LEVINE IN THE FACE! DEAR GOD! Jay has Evan... HUMPINATOR! DEAR GOD! PSYCHO JAY IS NOW HUMPING EVAN'S HEAD!
JS:Phelen Kell sends Jay over the top rope now with a huge clothesline! The officials quickly restrain him, as Kell is looking down at a fallen Levine.
Kell:See you Sunday Evan...
(We fade out to a picture of Kell standing over a fallen Evan Levine.)