Monday Night Meltdown|
Live from Orlando, Florida
High Flyer vs. ?¿?
*On HT, Flyer poke his nose in the Mysterious One's business. Now, ?¿?
has put Flyer at the top of his hit list.*
*Jay wants to be Mister Funny Man and waste my time with e-mails huh? Let's have him fight Shawn Arrows in a "Vintage IML2 Match." Rules to be undisclosed.*
Psycho Jay vs. Shawn Arrows
*Extreme title on the line. Potright was the leader of the viscous attacks on Tampax, and Tod wants to show him to not mess with his group. Jack Night request a rematch with Potright, defending the Extreme title, therefore this match became a three way dance.*
Jack Night -c- vs. Schitzo Tod vs Sam Potright
Those Damned Mexicans vs. the Prep Kids(AWS Man)
United States Title Shot(Suicide Kings)
*Falls count anywhere*
Capital Punishment vs. Cyanide -c-
*Midget on a Pole Match*
Sparrow vs. Rob Kestler
*2 out of 3 Falls*(Robinson)
Simon Seaman vs. PaiN
Winner Recieves Television Title Shot Next Week(Arrows)
Ash Robinson vs. Butt Thrilligan
*No Matter what Happens, Eddie Scott Poser can not and will not win the Television Title*
Mike Marchese vs. Eddie Scott Poser
Aaron Kain and Anthony Coles vs. Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, Scotty Valentine, Silencer, Cody Gunnz, and Joe Mielo(Kain)
(We see none other than the IWO logo slowly fade in and out of the screen, while we hear the familiar heartbeat pulsate throughout the television speakers. This repeats three times as slowly, the logo stays on the screen. Then, a bolt of lightning comes from the sky, erupting the logo into flames...
"Bleed" by Soulfly is heard softly in the background as we fade into highlights of Hostile Takeover.
::Phelen unsheathes the Katana.::
Phelen: I carved my initials....P...K....into Evans chest...Evan your bleeding profusely from your head their brother....but it isn't enough...lets have a little fun and paint the town red.
GP: Oh my god.....I can't believe this...
::Phelen leans down to Evan and runs the edge of the blade down the scars on Evan Levines chest, reopening the wounds. The P. K . now with blood pouring from it, begins to stain the mat. From the ceiling, an object begins to drop. Its a crucifix.::
GP: This isn't even right. Phelen Kell has flipped his dripper! This needs to be stopped!
JT: Whys that cross coming down? Is he gonna go Undertaker on us?
GP: I think he is...aw hell.
Phelen: Evan...I wanted this to be a night you would never forget...ever. And I believe I've made it almost perfect...but the perfect note to end on....a crucifiction of course! so....come here you lil bugger...
::Phelen lifts the limp carcass of Evan Levine on to the cross that is now leaned up against the ring ropes. He ties both Evans hands and legs to the cross. It slowly begins to raise into the air but stops enough that Evan and Phelen are looking eye to eye.::
Phelen: Evan Levine......you....NEVER......betray.....the master.
::The cross begins to raise in to the air as Evans head dangles and wabbles around. The lights dim to gray with a single red spotlight on Evan Levine, hanging limp on the cross in mid air in the center of the arena. The camera pans to Phelen Kell with a morbid smile crossing his face as "Sober" by TOOL begins to play once again. The scene fades out as we see a closeup of Evan Levines crimson masked face, he looks almost into the camera, his eyes rolled back in his head and his tounge hanging out. The scene fades to black with the IWO copyright information written at the bottom of the screen.::
**Fade Out from Highlights and Into Orlando Florida Arena**
The fans are on their feet, holding up signs such as "Where's my Snow!," "NWF was better," and "Where the hell is John?" clutter the crowded sea of signs, as the camera fades around and down to Max Riot, Jason Storm, and Ashley Keller, all standing holding microphones.)
Max Riot(MR):Dear god folks we've got ONE hell of a show for you tonight!
Jason Storm(JS):It may have been put together in about an hour, but damn, we're good for an hour!
Ashley Keller(AK):Well, we've got one hell of a show. The New Enemies on the State make their debut, Jay battles Shawn Arrows, non-title in an IML2 rememberance match, and High Flyer battles the Mysterious One, ?¿? for the second time in six months.
MR:That is definitly going to be a show stealer to say the least. Of course, Evan Levine is going to be here.
JS:Of COURSE! It wouldn't BE a show without Evan Levine!
AK:Many IMLer's debut, including Ash "Shadow" Robinson and Simon Seaman. PaiN makes his in ring debut, so much to talk about here tonight!...
[All of a sudden "THE BOOGIE-MAN IS COMING" is heard all over the building as "I am Your Boogie Man" by White Zombie starts to play. The fans come to their feeting booing there heads off as the IWO's Number 1 contender to the World champions walks out, followed by Discord. He doesnt look happy as he makes his way to the ring.]
MR: Well....The Real Heel is making his way to the ring. Ready for Evan TV again Jason?
JS: Please...Evan is the greatest IWO superstar of ALL TIME! Could there be anyone who can beat him? NO! And I'll tell you one more thing....he will be our next world champ!
[Evan gets into the ring as the fans toss trash at him. He smiles as he looks around to all the people who want to do evil bad things.]
Evan: You know.....I see your eyes....and I see how much you hate me...But you know....I DON'T CARE!
[The hatred for Levine continues to boil as many fans have been instructed to stop throwing things into the ring.]
Evan: I look at each and everyone of you....and I feel and see nothing BUT HATRED! You people cheer and you cheer for Psycho Jay...and Phelen Kell...but for what? FOR NOTHING BUT LOSERS!!
[The fans begin to get rowdy, wanting to get into the ring and tear at Evan Levine. Security stops their pursuits as they just do what they can, and that's boo.]
Evan: "Boo" all you want, the fact of the matter is one of the losers that you cheer for....has gone over the line! He cut me...he attacked me....AND HE ALMOST KILLED ME!
MR:He's of course talking about Hostile Takeover...
Evan: And for that.....I WILL NOT STAND FOR!!!!! Kell...your time is up...It's no longer your time...ITS MY TIME!!! NOT YOURS!!! MINE!!!
::Suddenly the lights go out. The fans begin to go insane as "Sober" by TOOL plays and Phelen Kell walks out on to the IWO ramp way. He is wearing black jeans, a black T-shirt with a silver pegasus that looks like it was cut
from metal, in the center of the pegasus it says "Phelen Kell". Kell pulls a microphone from his leather jacket.::
Phelen: Evan...Evan....Evan....do you think I'm done with you?.....oh....not by a long shot my friend...not by a long shot. Tonight...is your night. Tonight...I come for you. Breaking that Louisville Slugger over your head....seeing the blood....raising you up on that cross....and watching the pool of blood underneath you begining to form.....those things...were only part of my fun. Oh you suffer so beautifully. No Evan...I'm not done yet...pain has many faces...and I will show you every one of them. Tonight....Evan Levine....I am the hunter....and you are the prey...you won't know when...you won't know how....but here.....in this arena on Monday Night Meltdown...you will be my victim.
[Fans go nuts]
Evan: KELL!!! THIS ISN'T OVER!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER GET ME!
[Kell smiles as they cut to a break]
Aaron Kain and Anthony Coles vs. Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, Scotty Valentine, Silencer, Cody Gunnz, and Joe Mielo
MR: Looks like we're ready for the opening to what I'm sure will be an unbelievable night.
JS: Max, the most popular name to ever grace tag team wrestling is making there first official return to wrestling as Aaron Kain replaces his brother to team with Anthony Coles and reform Enemies of the State! These guys rule!
AK: Oh yes the hotties are definatly back!
MR: Yeah, only problem is they're in a handicapp match against Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, Scotty Valentine, Silencer, Cody Gunnz, and Joe Mielo.
JS: Yeah, this is a REAL handicapp match.
AK: Actually, I think EotS can pull it off.
JS: They're not the handicapp ones!
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a handicapp match with elimination style rules which has just been changed to a no disqualification, falls count anywhere match...
JS: It still ain't an even match.
("Bombs over Bagdad" by Outkast plays as Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, Scotty Valentine, Silencer, Cody Gunnz, and Joe Mielo all make there way out to the ring with absolutly no reaction.)
Ring Announcer: Weighing in at a total combined weight of a whole lot... Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, Scotty Valentine, Silencer, Cody Gunnz, and Joe Mielo... THA JOOOOOOOOOB SQUAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!
MR: Here comes the unit of terror now.
JS: This oughta be very interesting.
("Hot Boyz *EotS edit*" by Missy Elliot f/ Nas, Eve, Q-Tip, and Lil Mo blasts as "X-Rated" Anthony Coles, and "The Prince" Aaron Kain make there way out to the ring accompanied by MDK to a humongous pop.)
Ring Announcers: And there opponents... weighing in at a combined weight of 476 lbs... being accompanied to the ring by M..D..K...... Anthony Coles... Aaron Kain... ENEMIESSSSSS OF THE STAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AK: THERE GO MY BABIES!!!!!!
JS: Oh please...
AK: What's wrong... I thought you liked Enemies of the State.
JS: Yeah, but that was before they got the humongous pop. I'm a heel announcer remember!
MR: Looks like Dan Kordic, Da Bronx Bro, and Scotty Valentine are all gonna jump on top of Anthony Coles. But Anthony grabs a trash can that just so happens to be conviently sitting next to him out the ring and nails Kordic
with it! He nails DBB too! Then hedumps the trash can over Scotty Valentine's head! He's punching it like a punching bag! Valentine falls to the ground!
JS: Told you this match wouldn't be fair.
AK: YEAH ANTHONY!
MR: Ya know Before Anthony Coles took his extended leave of absense, he was considered one of the IWO's finest. And he WAS the IML's finest during his day. And he's only 21 years o....
JS: Shut up and call the match.
MR: And we see Aaron Kain running? Kain is running to the backstage from Silencer, Cody Gunnz and Joe Mielo!
JS: HAHA! He's a chicken! Some former NA Champ!
AK: OUCH! As Silencer went backstage, he was clobbered with a steel chair by MDK!
JS: He's not in this match!
AK: Well it's no DQ.
MR: That's right. And here comes Cody Gunnz and Joe Mielo! They're exchanging right hands with Kain and MDK! MDK has made himself a part of the match! MDK with the upper hand on Mielo! KAIN WITH A FATAL FACIAL ONTO SILENCER!!!! SILENCER'S NECK SNAPPED!!!! AND KAIN IS JUST STANDING THERE! HE'S
LEAVING SILENCER ON THE GROUND AND GOES BACK TO THE RING AREA WHERE ANTHONY COLES....
JS: STOP YELLING!!!!
MR: Sorry. Coles still has the upper hand on Kordic and DBB. Kain with a FATAL FACIAL onto DBB!!! This time he covers him! 1..............2................3!!!! It's 2 on 5 now!!!
AK: Actually 3 on 5.
MR: Well since MDK wasn't part of the match to begin with. he still can't pin people.
MR: Scotty Valentine is back up and going after Anthony Coles... Kain grabs him from behind and executes a Reverse DDT! Anthony Coles then grabs Valentine's legs and kicks him in the groin!!!! What!?!?!? Valentine just
JS: He must not have any balls!
AK: Eww, oh my god.
MR: Anthony Coles looks at Aaron Kain for a second... shruggs? Then grabs Valentine and a FADED OPPORTUNITY (Double Underhook Facebuster)!!!!! Coles covers Valentine! 1..............2............3!!! Two down, four to go! Anthony Coles has DBB up now. He tosses him into the ring! They're finally in the ring! Kain enters as well and they begin stomping the holy hell outta DBB
*A full minute later*
MR: They've literally stomped on Da Bronx Bro for a full minute! Aaron Kain stops and covers him... 1..............2..............3! And three remain!
AK: Ya know, I atleast expected these guys to at least TRY and put up a fight. LOOK! SILENCER, CODY GUNNZ, AND JOE MIELO ARE COMING RUNNING TO THE RING!!! AND THEY LOOK SCARED!!!!
MR: MDK COMES WALKING BEHIND THEM WITH A CHAINSAW!!!! HE WAS GONNA SLICE THEM
ALL TO PIECES!!!!
JS: Well MDK DOES stand for murder, death, kill.
MR: As they enter the ring, Anthony Coles tosses Mielo out of the ring! Cody Gunnz is low blowed by Aaron Kain and plants him with a DDT! Aaron is getting on the top rope and is looking outside!!! KAIN WITH THE SACRED ERUPTION ONTO CODY GUNNZ TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!!!!!!!! KAIN COVERS HIM! 1................2..................3!!!! It's 2 on 2 now!
JS: Well MDK is now in the ring! He grabs Silencer and a HUGE Powerbomb!!!! Coles with a cover to Silencer!
1.....................2......................3!!!! Well, last time Joe Mielo and Anthony Coles were in the same arena. Coles and Aaron's brother Nicholas hung him by the neck on a shark tank.
AK: This is gonna be brutal. Aaron, Anthony, and MDK are all talking in the ring.
Anthony: Well, when your brother was here... we hung Mielo up by the neck.
Aaron: Well I'm better than my brother so I have to top that... Hmmm....
("Stupify" by Disturbed plays as Syphon Fission walks out to the ring. Coles, Kain and MDK are all on there guard. Syphon grabs a mic.)
Syphon: Ya know what would REALLY be funny.
(Anthony and Aaron look at each other and shrug.)
Syphon: If you took him to New Zealand made him look for missing presidential ballots that belong to Florida.
Aaron: That ain't a bad idea!
(Aaron grabs Joe Mielo but is stopped by MDK.)
MDK: Wait, you haven't pinned him yet!
Aaron: Oh yeah!
(Aaron pins Joe Mielo, Anthony jumps on the pile too to make sure he doesn't somehow kick out.)
MR: 1..............2..................3!!!!!! MY GAWD!!!!! ENEMIES OF THE STATE HAVE PULLED OFF THE UPSET!!!!!!!!!
JS: Max shut up this wasn't an upset.
(Aaron and Anthony carry Joe Mielo to the backstage as "Hot Boyz *EotS edit*" by Missy Elliot f/ Nas, Eve, Q-Tip, and Lil Mo plays and we fade to a commercial.)
(We fade back in to see Aaron Kain and Anthony Coles carrying Joe Mielo to a jet that was conviently beinghidden behind the arena. They throw Mielo in the luggage section and walk into the jet met by 4 beautiful women. The scene goes backstage to see Rob Kestler and Midget CGI/Overlord Jamie Kosoy studing stacks of paper.)
Rob Kestler:Whatcha doin' Jamie?
Midget CGI/Overlord Jamie:SILENCE! Inscelent fool, I'm in the process of creating the master CGI script. The first phase has already begun.
Rob Kestler:What's that Wej?
Midget CGI/Overlord Jamie:Florida has fallen, and soon, so shall New Mexico and Wisconsin. It's all going according to my master CGI Script. I shall become President of the United States of America!
Rob Kestler:That would be cool! You think you could star in a Porno for me?
Midget CGI/Overlord Jamie:What the hell am I, Bill Clinton?
(The camera fades back into the arena.)
Television Title Shot
Butt Thrilligan vs. Ash Robinson
Announcer: This match, is to decide who will get a television title shot, next week, right here on Meltdown, and is scheduled for one fall.
("Deeper Underground" by Jamiroqai begins to play throughout the arena speakers as Ash Robinson slowly walks down to the ring.)
Announcer: Making his way to the ring first, weighing in at 285 pounds, Ash Robinson!!!!!
Robinson walks up the steps, and into the ring, walking over to a far corner, and stretching, getting ready for the upcoming match.
Announcer: And his opponent.
(Butt Thrilligan runs down to the ring and slides in.)
Announcer: Now in the ring, he is, Butt Thrilligan!!
MR: Theres the bell, and it looks like this match is finally underway. Robinson, not wasting any time, takes a few steps towards Thrilligan, who in return, takes a few steps back, and the two men start circling around each other in the middle of the ring, neither wanting to make that first move, and it be a mistake.
JS: Come on, get some action going here!! This is getting pitiful! Someone come down and just hit both these guys with a chair, please.
AK: While that idiot was rambling, and not paying attention, Robinson and Thrilligan both locked up, and Thrilligan got the upperhand with a headlock. Thrilligan, laying a few punches in to the head of Robinson, but Robinson pushes Thrilligan off into the ropes, and catches him coming back with a knee to the gut, and a pile driver to follow it up.
MR: Robinson, showing his experience in the ring here, seems to know what he's doing so far, as he now has Thrilligan in a headlock of his own, wrenching in on his head, trying to pop it off his shoulders it looks like.
JS: Robinson has the advantage, but Thrilligan looks to have an idea. He squeezes Robinson's butt, and Ash breaks the hold, and moves away, complaining to the referee.
AK: Thrilligan, locking back up with Ash, as he goes for a bodyslam, but he grabs Ash's crotch, and slams him down. Thrilligan bounces off the ropes, and nails a leg drop on Ash, as Ash was trying to sit up, and now Thrilligan gets to his feet.
MR: Thrilligan picks up Ash, and swings him to the ropes, Thrilligan swings for a clothesline but Ash ducks, Ash locks on a sleeper, and drops down, sitting down with it, dropping Thrilligan on his butt.
JS: Ash up, and he picks up Thrilligain, swinging him to the ropes, and nailing a back body drop. Ash waiting for Thrilligan, he goes for the Shadow Kick when Thrilligan gets up, but Thrilligan blocks it, and spins Ash around, going for a clothesline.
AK: Ash ducks the clothesline, and catches Thrilligan with the Shadow Kick when he turns around!!
MR: The referee drops down, and makes the count!
JS: Thrilligan, had Ash's weakest spot figured out, and yet, Robinson still walked out the winner!
*2 out of 3 Falls*
Simon Seaman vs. PaiN
MR: This next match is going to be a good one.
JS: What match is is?
AK: Its Simon Seamon verses PaiN best two out of three falls.
MR: Simon is one of the five men that were promoted and PaiN is just making his return here to the IWO.
Ring Announcer: The following match up is a two out of three falls match up. The winner will be the man that can get two pins over his opponent.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first from Los Angeles, California. Standing six feet and 3 inches tall and weighting 238 pounds "SUPERSEXY" SIIIIMMMMMONNNNNN SEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!
(Mase - Feel So Good blast over the PA system and Simon Seamon walks out from behind the curtains and a few fireworks shoot off. The fans start going crazy as Simon walks down the ramp and gets in the ring.)
MR: Simon looks to be in great shape for his first match here in the IWO. Simon had what some would call a good IML career he held the IML Extreme title twice. He doesn't seem like an Extreme wrestler but don't let that
fool you because he can go with some of the biggest stars.
AK: Simon could make a big impact here in the IWO if he were to defeat PaiN tonight. This is his chance to show the world just how good he is. Now if he can do it only time will tell.
JS: Simon sucks ass! PaiN is going to kick his ass all over the ring and sweep this match by getting the first two falls. PaiN is going to make Simon look stupid. After this match Simon will wish he was still in the IML.
MR: Well, we will just have to see about that. Don't underestimate Simon Seamon.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent making his return to the IWO. PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
(PaiN's music blast over the PA system and he walks out and there are a lot of fireworks shooting off. The fans start booing as PaiN walks slowly to the ring and gets in.)
JS: There is my man PaiN. He is going to kick some major ass in this match.
MR: Well, that is yet to be proven.
AK: Will you two stop going back and forth about who is going to win this match? I'm ready for PaiN and Simon Seamon to get this match underway and I don't want to listen to you two.
Ding Ding Ding...
MR: Well, this match is underway. Simon and PaiN lock up. Simon has an early advantage he slaps on a armbar. You know something I have been wondering is if Simon is a former IML Extreme champion and PaiN can be
pretty crazy at times so how far will the referee let these two go?
JS: Does it matter PaiN is just going to kick some ass.
AK: Shut up.
MR: Thank you both for your great answers.
JS: Your welcome. Just look at the way PaiN is dominating. He just picked Simon up and slammed him down. PaiN is not stopping with just that he is stomping away at Simon.
AK: Don't count Simon out just yet. One little slam isn't going to be enough to take out Simon. PaiN is grabbing Simon by the hair now. How low is PaiN going to go to win this match?
MR: PaiN just hit Simon with a huge right hand and Simon is back on the ground. Simon just won't stay down he is all ready back on his knees. PaiN is just looking down at him. There is a right into the stomach from Simon.
Simon is starting to make a comeback.
JS: Come on PaiN.
AK: Simon is back to his feet. Simon runs against the ropes he is going for a drop kick but PaiN moved out of the way.
JS: HaHaHa Simon sucks! He can't even hit a drop kick.
MR: PaiN is wrestling a pretty good match considering he has been out of the ring for a long time. He is picking Simon back up again. DDT Simon is down and PaiN is going for the pin.
Thr.........NOOOOO Simon kicked out.
JS: Damn it. PaiN almost had his first pinfall over Simon.
AK: PaiN was close to having his first pinfall. But I think he may get it here because he has just put Simon in the Figure Four. Simon has been know to not have great knees and I think PaiN knew this.
JS: YES, go PaiN!
MR: Look at Simon's face he is in so much pain right now. The referee is right there ready to ring the bell and give a fall to PaiN.
AK: Here is the question about this if your Simon. Do you give up and not take that much punishment or do you hang in there and hope to reverse it or get to the ropes?
JS: He should give up.
AK: Shut up you just want PaiN to get the decision.
JS: Damn straight.
MR: I really think he should hang in there but if nothing changes he should give up. Look at PaiN he is grabbing the second rope. The referee has no idea because he is down on the ground with Seamon. That's it Seamon just
gave up. I think that was a stupid move on Simon's part because all it would have taken was the referee to look up and break the hold.
JS: Like I said PaiN is going to sweep this match and Simon won't even get a decision.
AK: Your about to piss me off. But PaiN has just taken the lead by one decision and all he needs is one more to win this match. So now since a fall has been decided the referee has broken the hold and they will start with
both men standing.
MR: Simon's knee doesn't look to be in that bad of shape after being in the Figure Four but we will have to see as this match wears on. Simon is charging PaiN spear. PaiN is down. Simon covers him.
Thre......NOOOOOOO PaiN kicked out. I think he caught PaiN a little off guard with that move.
JS: He can't keep PaiN down.
AK: Simon is going to have a very hard time coming back from this. PaiN is an awesome wrestler and I don't know if Simon can come back from this he sure is giving it his all though.
MR: Simon is picking PaiN up by his head. Ohhhhh low blow from PaiN. Simon is down on the ground after that low blow from PaiN. The referee didn't see it or that would have been a disqualification.
JS: I love it this is great. PaiN is going to win this match. Remember it isn't cheating unless you get caught.
AK: That's a great out look on life. But what in the hell is PaiN doing?
JS: He is taking a rest.
MR: If that's so then why is he outside the ring getting a chair?
JS: Like I said he is taking a break. PaiN doesn't need to give it his all to win this match.
AK: Now that chair is in the ring. What is PaiN doing? If he uses that
chair he will be disqualified.
MR: I don't know what he is thinking. NO, he just hit Simon over the head
with the chair. Simon is out cold. The referee just disqualified PaiN for
using the chair. So now each man has earned a decision and basically PaiN
gave Simon his.
AK: What was PaiN thinking?
JS: I know what he was thinking because look at Simon he is out cold and we
are about five seconds away from then starting the third and finally part of
MR: You do have a point. Because PaiN just went for the pin.
Thre..........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, oh so close but Simon somehow kicked
the plan of PaiN's didn't work.
AK: Is it me or does PaiN seem to be a man that doesn't care about the
rules. He could careless and he is showing it. He has used a lot of illegal
moves in this match.
JS: Yeah and I love it. PaiN is looking great and its only a matter of time
before he gets the third and final decision.
MR: PaiN does seem to not care about the rules. But who knows it may help
him walk away with the victory tonight. What is PaiN doing now he has Simon
up on his shoulders and he just hit a Death Valley Driver. PaiN is going for
THRE...........NOOOOOOOOOOO, Simon kicked out again.
JS: Come on Simon you might as well give up.
AK: Like I said earlier Simon will be hard to be beat and he is proving my
point. Simon is now back to his feet. PaiN swings with a right hand but
MR: Simon just kicked PaiN in the stomach he is going for a suplex he has
him up and down PaiN goes. Simon hasn't had much offense in this match but
he is sure starting to make a comeback.
JS: Come on PaiN get up. You can do it.
AK: HaHa PaiN is going to lose.
MR: Simon picks up PaiN again. He has PaiN up and down. What a great
Powerbomb from Simon. He is going for the pin and the win...
Th............NOOOOOOOOOOOO PaiN kicked out.
AK: PaiN is still down on the ground. Simon is back on his feet and he is
climbing the ropes.
JS: Get up PaiN!
MR: Simon is going for his finisher The Silencer he jumps and YES, YES,
YES. Simon just hit his finishing move. He is going for the pin...
THREE.................Yes, Simon Seamon has done it!
AK: Haha moron.
Ring announcer: The winner of this match SIMMMMMMMOOOOOONNNNNNN
MR: What a great match we will be right back....
(The camera fades back to the backstage area where Mike Marchese is looking at a picture of a frosty ice cream cone. He lets out a sigh.)
Mike Marchese/Skip:Doesn't that Ice cream cone seem tasty?
(Marchese licks his lips as he turns into Skip once more.)
Skip/Mike Marchese:Silence! We have a push coming up!
Mike Marchese/Skip:But that means I'll have to actually work!
Skip/Mike Marchese:Exactly! Now, I know how you hate physical or mental labor, that's why I went and got you the self help book by Richard Simmons... "My body and Me."
Mike Marchese/Skip:Richard Simmons is a god...
(Eddie Scott Poser, blue hair and all walks onto the scene. He takes a look at the ice cream cone picture and lounges for it. Marchese protects it immediatly.)
Mike Marchese:MY ICE CREAM CONE!
ESP:Awh! It looks so taste... can't I have a little bite?
ESP:That's a yes! Give it to me!
(Poser lounges once more but Marchese pulls it away from Poser at the last second. Poser falls flat on his face. Marchese laughs.)
ESP:I'm going to get that ice cream cone...
Mike Marchese/Skip:It's mine! You can't have it!
Skip/Mike Marchese:Uhhh... Guys.... it's a picture...
ESP:Oh... let's go get some real Ice Cream!
(Marchese and Poser leave together, frolecing in the woods.)
Midget on a Pole Match
Sparrow vs. Rob Kestler
AK: We're, uh, back for the Midget on a Pole match!
MR: I really, truly hate Sparrow.
AK: Everyone does.
JS: Well, here we go...
("Pomp and Circumstance" plays as the Evil CGI God, the midget Jamie Kosoy, comes out to a chorus of boos.)
Midget Kosoy: Hey! You people should stand up and cheer for your CREATOR! I created you all from Bryce 3D! YOU ARE MY PUPPETS!
(The fans boo louder.)
Midget Kosoy: GRR! If it weren't for me, the IWO wouldn't be around, I..AHH!
(Vincent has picked up the midget with his penis and he puts him on the pole in the ring.)
Midget Kosoy: Put me down, you illogical twit!
Vincent: FUCKING FUCK YOU!
AK: The CGI God has not made very many friends here tonight.
("Some Shitty Goth Music" by Some Shitty Goth Band plays as Sparrow comes out to a lot of boos, because many just don't like him.)
JS: LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!
(Sparrow gets in the ring, then "Stayin' Alive" by Ozzy Osbourne, which is a really neat song, by the way, plays as Rob Kestler, accompanied by Cassie, comes to ringside.)
Meygon: AND HIS OPPONENT... uh, who is this idiot in the ring? Oh well... HIS OPPONENT... FROM MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA... WEIGHING IN A LOT OF POUNDS... HE IS ROB KESTLER!
(Kestler runs in the ring and starts beating up Sparrow.)
JS: Kestler with a beale out of the corner!
Midget Kosoy: GET ME DOWN! HELP! HELP!
AK: Kestler is manhandling Sparrow here.
MR: Kestler with a powerslam to Sparrow!
JS: Kestler is climbing up to see if he can get Kosoy... but Sparrow grabs him from behind and throws him off! Kestler with a clothesline, ducked by Sparrow... OOH! HE DIDN'T DUCK THAT ONE!
MR: The former IML World Champion isn't doing so hot right now.
AK: I know.
JS: Sparrow with a superkick! But that only put Kestler down on one knee!
AK: Sparrow climbs to the top rope... but Kestler catches him in midair with a spinebuster!
MR: Damn! Kestler is mauling Sparrow!
JS: Kestler grabs Sparrow and sets him up for the Call From Beyond!
AK: Sparrow catches Kestler with a low blow! The referee didn't see it!
MR: DDT by Sparrow!
JS: Elbow drop by Sparrow!
MR: Another elbow drop by Sparrow!
AK: Another elbow dro- ...doesn't this guy know any other move- wait, there's a leg drop. Nevermind.
JS: Sparrow with a surprising show of strength with that scoop slam, now he's going upstairs... top rope splash by Sparrow!
MR: Sparrow rolls out of the pin, and starts to climb up the pole!
AK: But Kestler is up and he grabs Sparrow!
JS: POWERBOMB! KESTLER JUST POWERBOMBED SPARROW OFF THE TOP!
AK: Kestler drops to one knee, he just put a lot of power into that move!
MR: Sparrow needs to be scraped up off the mat after that move!
JS: Sparrow rolls up to his feet, Kestler knocks him down with a roundhouse right!
AK: And another by Kestler!
JS: Scoop slam, elbow drop!
MR: Now Kestler goes for the pole!
AK: Wait! Wait! Kristin jumps on the apron, and that crotches Kestler on the top rope!
JS: Now Kristin sprays mace in Kestler's face! Cassie pulls Kristin off of the apron!
MR: But I thought she was non-violent!
AK: I dunno. But Cassie backs off, as Sparrow gets up and grabs Kestler on the top rope... INVERTED DDT OFF THE TOP!
JS: Aaaahhhh! Kestler's caught in a tree of woe!
MR: Now Sparrow climbs up and reaches for the CGI God!
AK: He's got it! He's got it!
JS:Wait! Jamie is kicking away at Sparrow! Sparrow just ate a shoe to the face!
MR:Kestler is up! He just untangled himself with the help of Cassie! Kestler grabs JAMIE!!!
Midget Kosoy: Thanks... NOW PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I UNCREATE YOU! Don't make me pass a law when I become President!
Meygon: The winner of this match... Rob Kestler!
::Kestler is shown carrying Midget Kosoy like a baby jesus, as we fade in to the backstage area where we see Capital Punishment and his lackys Chang, Vance, and Reed. They are standing outside of Evan Levine's locker room.::
Capital Punishment: You're on the guard out here, all three of you. I want you to check the perimeter for Phelen Kell. DO NOT let him near this door or else! Do you all understand that?
Chang: Got ya.
Capital Punishment: Good.
::Capital Punishment walks off the screen and all three men look at each other.::
Reed: Man I didn't sign on for this shit.
Chang: Did you see what he did to Evan on Hostile Takeover? Man I don't wanna be on his bad side. Why'd we have to sign that contract?
Vance: Oh shut up. He is one. We are many. There's no way he can get us. Now lets do the Scooby Doo thing and all go in different directions.
::All three men walk off in different directions. The camera follows Chang. He walks down the hall and in to a wide open area where cars come in. He hears footsteps from behind him. He turns quickly.::
Chang: Guys?........guys this isn't funny......hello?
::There is no sound. Chang continues to walk looking all around. He looks behind himself again and suddenly hears a whistling coming from in front of him. Its Phelen Kell. He looks at Chang and begins to run the opposite
direction. Chang persues him but is smashed in the chest by a police baton. From behind a corner walks Phelen Kell's friend Hellbringer. He has a smile on his face. From either direction now comes Ashton Cain, Phelen Kell
and Mitchell Frost, Phelen's little gang. They all look down at the fallen Chang.::
Phelen: Hellbringer, he's all yours....the rest of you come with me.
Chang: NO! NO! PLEASE!
Hellbringer: Oh I'm gonna enjoy this!
::As the cameras follow Phelen, Ashton and Mitchell walking through the doors the microphone on the camera picks up the sound of thuds and screams from Hellbringer and Changs direction as we fade back to the arena and to the broadcast team.::
Prep Kids vs. Those Damned Mexicans
MR : Next up we’ve got a great match involving the Prep Kids and Those Damned Mexicans.
JS:What the hell just happened in the back! How the hell can Kell go around doing that!
MR:He is Phelen Kell, who's going to stop him... you?
(Storm looks quietly down at his announce booth.)
MR:As I was saying, a great tag team matchup coming up.
JS : What are you talking about, great match? This match is gonna be mediocre at best.
MR : Jason, you always say that. Try being optimistic for once.
AK : Actually, he has a point for once. This match probably isn’t gonna be that great.
(JS turns to Ashley in shock.)
JS : You mean, you actually agree with me?
AK : Yeah, I guess. Don’t let it go to your head?
JS : I know something of yours I’d like to go to one of my heads…
MR : Man, you just do not learn.
JS : Actually, I caught on about a month ago, but I think I’m starting to like it.
MR : Can we just start the damn match now?
(The Prep Kids’ music plays, which I don’t know because their roster page is evil. The preppies come out and slide into the ring, and do, uh, stuff. They receive mild boos from the crowd.)
AK : I think they might be my favorite tag team. They’re definitely the cutest team out there!
JS : What about Team Tampax?
AK : Ew, no. Those guys are perverts, always watching porn! And what’s with that sick relationship with that spatula?
MR : Um, I think that’s just their manager, Ashley.
AK : Oh.
JS : Ditz.
(Those Damned Mexican’s music plays, which I again don’t know because their roster page has herpes. The Mexicans come out and slide into the ring, getting a fairly good pop. Diablo slides in, as he and Jordan Howitt
start the match off.)
MR : Collar and elbow tie up, into a hammerlock by Howitt.
AK : Howitt now gets that reversed into a standing armbar by Diablo.
JS : Booooring. Where’s the blood?
MR : You don’t have to copy JT in EVERYTHING, you know.
JS : Who’s JT?
AK : Oooh, that armbar was just countered by a mule kick by Jordan. Diablo falls to his knees, allowing Howitt to bounce off the ropes and connect with a dropkick to Diablo’s face!
MR: How’s that for ‘boring,’ JS?
JS : Eh, that move had its moments.
MR : What the hell are you talking about? It was only a second long. How did it have its ‘moments?’
JS : It just did, okay? Geez, and to think I’m staying awake just for you people.
AK : Then go to sleep! No one’s forcing you to watch.
JS : Fine then, I will.
(JS lays his head down on his desk and goes to sleep, as Howitt tags in his partner.)
AK : (Whispering) Now he’ll never know how I love him so.
MR : What was that?
AK : Um, I said this match is kinda slow.
MR : Oh. I suppose. McCloud has Diablo up and whips him into the ropes. Diablo bounces back and Randall goes for a clothesline, but Diablo slides under his legs.
AK : Nice agility by Diablo. He now hooks Randall from behind, and follows through with a pump handle slam!
MR : While McCloud is on the mat clutching his side, Diablo goes to tag in the other half of TDM, Edguardo. And what the hell? It appears that Edguardo is masturbating with a Chilupa!
JS:No, he's eating a Chilupa...
AK:Kinda like Jason last night at that spanish whore house?
MR : Heh-heh, good one. Well, Diablo now has Edguardo’s attention, and the tag has been made! Edguardo comes in like a house full of … Chilupas. McCloud is just standing up, as Edguardo runs and tackles him to the
ground, followed by a flurry of punches!
AK : You know, the Mexicans are kinda cute too, now that I think about it.
MR : (Under his breath) Man, JS is right. You ARE a slut.
MR : Ow! How’d you hear me?
AK : I have hyper-sensitive ears, due to always listening for an opportunity to smack Jason.
MR : Ah. Well, Edguardo is now stomping McCloud all around the ring, He bends to picks the prep up, but gets a low blow for his troubles!
AK : McCloud is now shaking the cobwebs out. He moves towards his corner to tag in his waiting partner, but what’s this? Edguardo has him by the leg!
MR : He won’t let go. And now he’s biting Randall’s ankles!
AK : McCloud is pissed now, and he just stomped Edguardo’s head right into the mat with his free foot. That looked rather painful.
MR : Indeed it did. Now Randall successfully tags out to his partner Jordan, and he looks all business!
AK : He runs the rising Edguardo right over with a clothesline, and is now stomping him back against the ropes. Edguardo rises to his feet, but is pushed back into a corner. Howitt climbs onto the middle rope and is delivering punches to the head. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 … and he’s stopped at nine, but now leaps off and connects with a dropkick to the face as he’s falling!
MR : TPK really want this match. Howitt stays on him, picking up Edguardo and whipping him into the ropes. As Edguardo comes back, Howitt drops down and sweeps his legs out from under him, then leaps up into a leg drop
as Edguardo comes down!
AK : Howitt’s impressing me tonight. He now walks over and smacks Diablo across the face, before walking back to beat on Diablo’s brother some more. Diablo tries to get into the ring, like people always do when attacked,
and the referee of course holds him back.
MR : And now both members of TPK are in, beating on Edguardo. They perform a double suplex and taunt to the crowd.
AK : Man, doesn’t Diablo see that he’s only hurting his team? This happens all the time! Just return to your apron and the referee will turn around and prevent the double team!
MR : Well, Diablo seems to be taking your advice, as he gets back onto the apron. The referee turns back around, and order is restored. Now Howitt legally tags his partner in. They double whip Edguardo into the ropes, and as he comes back they try for a double clothesline. But the Mexican ducks, drops to his knees, and delivers a double low blow!
AK : Twice the cheapness equals twice the pain.
MR : I suppose that’s true. Edguardo now hops up and delivers a double DDT before tagging in Diablo.
AK : Now both Mexicans rush the Prep Kids, and both are back body dropped. TPK are again in control of this match! They’re signaling for the end here! Randall picks up Edguardo and puts him on his shoulders for the reverse DVD! Diablo is up though, and he swiftly kicks Randall in the genitals. Randall, being a man, falls over and releases that damned Mexican. Diablo now pairs off with Randall McCloud as Edguardo tosses the stricken
Howitt to the outside of the ring. He follows, as both McCloud and Diablo fell each other with a clothesline.
MR:Doesn't Howitt do the Reverse DVD Part?
AK:I guess it's interchangeable?
MR : Well called, Ashley.
AK : Thanks. Hear that, Jason?
(Jason doesn’t, because he is still asleep.)
MR : Well, Edguardo is now beating Jordan over towards our direction. Jordan stumbles onto the announce table, and as Edguardo nears him, Howitt plasters him with the ring bell!
AK : That wasn’t very nice.
MR : Or very legal. Now Howitt slides into the ring as both his partner and Diablo are getting up. Now he runs and nails Diablo with the bell! The referee saw this one, and is calling for the bell. Of course, there is
no bell to be rung, since Howitt has it. And just for good measure and because he’s a jerk, he nails the ref!
AK : Ooh, he’ll be fined for that one alright.
MR : Yes, I’m sure he will. Those Damned Mexicans win this one by DQ.
JS : What’d I miss?
AK : Only the goriest match in IWO history, also including the most instances of full frontal nudity!
JS : WHA-…
MR : No, she’s messing with you. The match was actually pretty average.
JS : Told ya.
(The scene fades into the locker room of none other than High Flyer, who's wrapping his boots in white tape. IWO Reporter Jack Urlich burts into the room.)
Jack Urlich:Flyer! Flyer! Can I get a quick word?
Flyer:What do you want Urlich, can't you see I'm a busy man.
Jack Urlich:It's you and the Mysterious One main eventing... what could happen here!
Flyer:What could happen? Isn't it obvious what could happen? Well, if it's not, maybe you should be the one thinking about how many times YOU'VE been hit in the head.
Jack Urlich:What do you mean Flyer.
Flyer:I mean that my career is a god damn sham, and tonight, I'm going to show the world that Flyer is the greatest crusier weight there was, and I'll be damned if some snow gimmick is going to hold me down...
(Flyer finishes taping his boots as he gets up and leaves. We fade to a commercial.)
Match:US Title Shot-Falls Count Anywhere
Cappy vs. Cyanide -c-
MR: Well it's now time for this big US title match! It pits Capital Punishment challenging Cyanide!
JS: Is it just me, or has Cappy only been back a while and he has got like 3 title shots? And lost every time?
AK: Well he deserves them.
JS: Your still here? God I wish Jamie would fire you!
AK: Why so you could go back to masturbating to men magazines!?
MR: See what I have to put up with fans?
("Disobedience" by KFMDM plays and the fans explode for Capital Punishment as he comes out, looking ready to get some gold and kick some ass at the same time. He climbs into the ring and test out the ropes)
JS: There's old Crappy!
MR: Watch it..he might hear you and don't expect me to step out and save ya!
AK: Good...he needs a good ass whooping!
JS: You tell him!
AK: I meant you dipshit!
( Capital Punishment grabs the microphone from the ring announcer, and begins to speak.)
Capital Punishment:Listen, I don't care about my United States title shot, because, in the end, nothing comes from it. All that matters is my huge match this Friday with Phelen Kell. Kell, you better get ready, because I'm going to take you to the edge of your life. I'm going to make you wish that Capital Punishment was never invented. Kell, get ready for Legend... to met legend...
(Capital Punishment throws down the microphone as he exits.)
MR:Uhhh... I guess Capital Punishment forfeited his title shot against Cyanide?
JS:I guess so. No one knows Cappy... so it makes perfect sense!
(Nikki is getting a drink of water from the Water cooler. She takes a cup from the nearby styrofoam pile, and pours the liquid in. Ben O'Connor approaches her from behind. )
Ben: Nikki isn't it?
(Nikki turns around and smiles.)
Nikki: Yes, that's right. And you are?
Ben: The name's O'Connor...Ben O'Connor.
Nikki: Oh! Your one of the promotions! Well congratulations.
(Cut to a shot of Donnie looking on a monitor. He is really wild.)
Ben: Actually, I was thinking that if you weren't doing anything after the show, You'd like to get a bite to eat.
Nikki: Well, actually I was thinking of having an early night.
Ben: Sure, sure. Well, here's my mobile - I'll be heading back to Australia on Friday - give me a call.
Nikki: Australia! Your Australian?!
Ben: Yeah, that's right.
Nikki: I should have guessed by the accent. Wow, Australia is such a nice place. Are you going to come back for the Pay-Per-View?
Ben: We'll see how things work out.
(A quick shot back to the monitor Donnie was standing at. There's a monitor, but there isn't a Donnie. Cut back to Ben and Nikki.)
Nikki: OK, well, I guess I'll see you...
(Donnie runs up and smashes Ben in the head with a Toilet Brush, Ben falls over and Donnie then get's on top of Ben and procedes to jam the Toilet brush into his mouth. He beings to scrub violently.)
Donnie: You like that! Pieces of shit get scrubbed like pieces of shit!
(Donnie stands, the Toilet brush still protrudes from Ben's mouth, Donnie lays the boots in before walking away. Nikki is shocked, and she heads for the arena.)
(Sam Potright is seen standing outside of his locker-room getting ready for
his Extreme title shot. Suddenly two fiqures round the corner and come into
view at a dead hault.)
"TKOD" Ryan King: Why hell Mr.Stabusintheback!
(Potright swings around to take guard and stands ready to fight.)
"TKOH" Jeff King: Oh don't worry, we're not here to cause a ruckus.
Sam Potright: Then what do you want?
"TKOH" Jeff King: Just to say thanks for showing us that we weren't as
misunderstood as we thought.
Sam Potright: Cut the crap!
"TKOD" Ryan King: No seriously, see we're gonna leave now...good luck in you
(The two walk off as Potright mutters something.)
"TKOD" Ryan King: Heh...we'll show that bastard...
[We fade back in as we see Scott Stone walking out of Evan's locker room. He looks around as he makes his way down the hellway. As he does, his cell phone rings as he picks it up]
Phelen: Roses are Red, Violets are blue, your head is about to be split in two!!!!
[All of a sudden Phelen Kell comes out from a corner and pulls Stone off camera. As screaming is head from the room, The camera goes in there to find Stone out cold.]
Kell: Two down.....4 to go....Evan has no chance.
[The scene cuts back to Evan in his room as he looks to Cappy]
Evan: I mean this with the ut most importance...KILL HIM!!!
[Cappy walks out of the room as the scene fades out]
::As we come back from commercial break the first thing we see is Reed, one of Capital Punishements friends standing at a Pepsi machine. He is kicking back a can of Wild Cherry Pepsi and eating a sandwich. He looks up at
Reed: What the fuck do you want? I'm allowed a lunch break! And I just happen to be taking it now! Geez!
::The camera man begins to walk away with the camera, turning his attention away from Reed as he turns around the corner.::
Camera Man: Psh...dickhead. I hope Kell kicks your a-
::Suddenly screams are heard and a loud crashing sound. The camera man runs quickly back around the corner to see the soda machine toppled over on top of Reed. Only one of Reeds arms can be seen trembling from the side of the machine. The camera gets a quick glimpes of a door shutting at the end of the hallway. Fade back to the broadcast team.::
Extreme Title Match
Sam Potright vs. Jack Night -c- vs. Schitzo Tod
MR: Here comes Potright. He's taking his slow walk into the ring...wait...who..
JS: IT'S THE KINGS!
MR: I knew that would want some payback!
AK: They are beating Potright down with mid-size pentagrams. Now they drag his bloody body back into the back.
(A camera follows and see's then near the exit of the arena.)
MR: What are they doing...oh, Jeff just pepper sprayed him in his eyes and
Ryan throws him in a wheelchair!
JS: Now they are chaining him into it! What are they doing!
"TKOD" Ryan King: Not good enough? You wanna see good? YOU WANNA SEE
"TKOH" Jeff King: Let's go..fun time!
JS: Now they are wheeling him out of the arena.
MR: Dear God...what are they gonna do to Sam Potright!
(The camera cuts to Jack Night and Schitzo Tod, who are already inside the garage. They lock up.)
MR:I guess this match is going to be a one on one title defense. Night and Tod lock up, as Night gains the advantage. Night grabs Tod and throws him face first into a steel storage locker!
JS:Night is going to town early on Tod, Night never truly has been the man to keep the advantage for very long however, as Tod comes back with a huge Todinator!
AK:What the hell is that?
JS:I dunno, it sounds like one of Tod's moves!
MR:He's got a point, as Tod took out Jack Night, sending him into the sportings goods section of the garage. Tod picks up a goalie's mask, and puts it on. Tod slowly begins to tie Jack Night up to the wall.. oh my god!
JS:Tod just tied Night up to the wall, and he is now shooting hockey pucks at Schitzo Tod!
AK:Wait! Look! Hot damn, it's Governor Jed Bush! He just tackled Schitzo Tod!
MR:Okay, how the hell did Jed Bush get into IWO's garage in Orlando?
JS:I don't think the question is how, I think it's WOW!
AK:That didn't make sense...
MR:Bush just untied Jack Night, and Night just hammered Jed Bush over the head with one of the hockey sticks! Dear god! I guess Night's a democrat!
JS:Or he really hates Florida...
JR:Look! Night has an... Election ballot box? Night just clocked Schitzo Tod upside the face! Dear god! Wait! Look! Joe Lieberman's the referee! 1-2-NO! Tod got a shoulder up at what was an obvious fast count!
MR:Night is back up, as he's hammering away at Tod...
JS:It's Ralph Nader! Nader just attacked Lieberman! Dear god the campaigning hasn't stopped! Not even here in Florida!
MR:The campaigning will never stop since Florida doesn't know how to COUNT!
AK:It's rather a funny situation I think...
JS:There's a lot of weird things going on in the IWO. Night and Nader are shaking hands now in the garage... Oh, not them again!
MR:And the Suicide Kings are now up on the outside of this Garage. What are they doing no!
AK: From the looks of it they are at some steep incline in the driveway?
MR: What are they planning...
JS: DUH! God you guys are stupid!
"TKOH" Jeff King: We'll show you just how valuable we can be! You turned on us and Extreme and then your plan backfired and now you have no one to save your sorry ass! You are just an expendable asset and we only used you to have out back... sorry it turned out this way chump! You did have a little potential...HAHAHAH!
"TKOD" Ryan King: So prepare for a ride...oh and keep all hands and feet inside the ride at all times...away you goooooooooo
MR: My God they just pushed Potright in that wheelchair down the incline and he's picking up speed...what's that?
JS: There is a big bonfire at the bottom! YES! HE'S GONNA FRY!
AK: This is sick!
JS: Now he's going about 90! Man, this is awesome...someone press record!
MR: DAMN! DAMN DAMN! HE JUST RAMMED THROUGH THAT FIRE AND BUSTS OUT THE OTHER SIDE AND HE'S A BALL OF FLAMES!
JS:OH MY GOD! THAT'S THE GARAGE! POTRIGHT JUST WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR AND TOOK OUT JACK NIGHT AND SCHITZO TOD! THEY WERE BATTLING INSIDE THAT GARAGE!
AK:POTRIGHT'S WHEELCHAIR IS ON TOP OF JACK NIGHT, 1----2----3!!! NEW EXTREME CHAMPION! POTRIGHT WON THE BELT AGAIN! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
MR: MY GOD SOMEONE GET DOWN THERE...POTRIGHT'S IN DEEP TROUBLE!
JS: AND I BET THE KINGS WILL BE IN DEEP SHIT!
("Say I" by Creed plays as My Dick appears out of nowhere, scaring the Suicide Kings. He raises his hand in the air, and the music stops.)
My Dick: Woah, there, Kings! What are you doing?
Jeff King: Gettin' payback for Mr. Stabusintheback.
My Dick: Well, I don't think you can throw one of the IWO's more well-liked wrestlers off the side of a stage...
Ryan King: He stabbed us in the back!
My Dick: That much I know. Still, I think penance is in order... so, how about on the next MNM... YOU TWO defend the titles against Potright and... DONNIE DAZE!
JS: HA! An easy defense for the Kings!
AK:The Suicide Kings Pratically handed the extreme title to Sam Potright! Oh my god!
Psycho Jay vs. Shawn Arrows
MR: It's going to be IML2 revisited!
JS: What the hell does that mean?
AK: Yeah, what?
MR: Very simple... it's a lumberjack match featuring old IML2 stars!
("Faster Grace" by Custom plays as the IML2 stars walk out to the ring and surround it.
Lumberjacks: Kyle Kash, Cedric Cinder, Chris Braggs, BJ Smith, Geoff Paul, Damage, Dustin Dachey, Hardcore
Harry, The Green Jackal, Big Van, Kurt Zoom, Enfirno, J.J. Nuclear, Mystic Tragedy, The Porteguesse Jiggalo,
Christian Livewire, Carlos Lopez, Evan Noce, Myst, The Guardian.
MR: Wow... what a lineup.
JS: You have got to be kidding me. Where are the stars? The great guys? THE GUYS THAT GOT PROMOTED?
AK: Too busy?
MR: Well, it doesn't matter...
("Divine" by KoRn hits... out walks Psycho Jay. He passes by the lumberjacks... they all give him dirty looks.)
MR: Our world champion... preparing for the battle of a lifetime.
JS: What the hell does that mean? Battle of a lifetime? He's facing ARROWS!
MR: Oh, shut up and do color.
(Arrows walks from the back while his music plays. He climbs in the ring. The match begins.)
MR: Here we go! Jay and Shawn Arrows' with a collar-and-elbow tie-up to start things off. Jay backed into a corner... and he low blows Shawn Arrows! Tosses him out of the ring! And the lumberjacks go at it! The Porteguesse Jiggalo attacks Arrows, and he's joined by Myst and Guardian! Those three beating Arrows down... Carlos Lopez pulls them off and throws Arrows back in the ring!
JS: Why'd he do that?
JS: I wanna see your punani...
JS: Haven't you ever seen that guy?
AK: What guy?
JS: The "Booshkiya!" guy.
MR: Um... in the contest... Jay lays in a boot to the skull of Shawn Arrows. Jay throws Shawn Arrows into the corner, and he begins slamming his head into the bottom turnbuckle!
Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!
MR: Jay picks up Shawn Arrows... suplexes him! Shawn Arrows lands on his feet! Belly to back suplex, and Jay goes down! Arrows goes for the cover! One, two, Jay kicks out. Arrows grabs Jay by the hair... he throws Jay into the ropes.
JS: Jay comes back with a flying shoulderblock! Down goes Arrows, and down goes Jay! Jay gets to his
feet... legdrops Shawn Arrows! He covers! One... two... no! Arrows kicks out. Jay pulls Shawn Arrows up, throws him into the corner, chop! Chop! Chop again! Choppy choppy!
MR: Shawn Arrows clutches his chest... it's looking red. Jay from behind, German Suplex! Shawn Arrows grabs the ropes however! No count! Jay releases the suplex... now Arrows spins up.
AK: Tell me about this punani.
JS: Punani is that "booshkiya!" guy's slang for
MR: Jason, don't finish that.
JS: Why not?
MR: This isn't Hostile Takeover... you can't say stuff like that on Monday nights.
JS: Can I say --
MR: No, you can't. Shawn Arrows goes, Crossface Chicken Wing! He tosses Jay over the top of his head, and Jay topples to the floor! Here comes the lumberjacks en masse! The Green Jackal and Big Van are beating Jay
while he's down... Mystic Tragedy comes and joins in the fun! They toss Jay back in. Now Shawn Arrows is taking control of the match.
JS: Well, can I say --
MR: NO! Just... don't say anything you think is inflammatory!
JS: So I can say "fuck Jews"?
MR: AAAAAAAAH! NO! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!
(A spotlight comes from the arena...)
MR: What the...? IT'S CHARLSTON HESTON!
Charlston Heston: Let my people go!
MR: He must think this is a movie set. Shawn Arrows grabs Jay, snap powerbomb! Jay clings his legs around
Shawn Arrows's neck, rolls him up! One... two.... so close! Arrows rolls Jay off, Jay gets to his feet, hiptosses
Arrows over the ropes! Shawn Arrows gets attacked by The Green Jackal and Big Van, and Enfirno now joins in on it! Kurt Zoom comes in and picks up Shawn Arrows... he's going to clobber Shawn Arrows's head in! Wait! There's Carlos Lopez again!
JS: Is this guy related to Butt Thrilligan in any way?
MR: I thought I told you not to say any inflammatory things.
JS: I'm actually asking a question! Yeesh. Anyway, Lopez rolls Arrows in... Jay reaches over... ZOOM
STRIKES JAY! JAY FALLS BACK A FEW FEET! Zoom wanted to punch somebody, I guess.
AK: Well, now Jay is pissed... he's going out after Zoom! Zoom is running like hell from our IWO champion! And you can't blame him! Lopez rolls in the ring... he has something in his pants!
JS: I KNEW HE WAS RELATED TO BUTT THRILLIGAN!
MR: LOPEZ HITS Shawn Arrows WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES! IN HIS PANTS! IT WAS... IT WAS A VINCENT ACTION FIGURE WITH PENIS-SLAP ACTION! Shawn Arrows IS OUT! ZOOM IS CAUGHT! JAY GRABS ZOOM, THROWS HIM ON THE APRON, SUPERBOMB TO THE FLOOR! JAY ROLLS INTO THE RING, COVERS Shawn Arrows!
(One.... two.... NO!)
MR: Shawn Arrows kicked out! Lopez reaches back into his pants!
JS: That's funny when you say that.
MR: I'm just stating the facts... Lopez uses the knuckles on Shawn Arrows's head! Jay covers again!
(One... two... three!)
MR: Jay wins it thanks to Carlos Lopez, who we thought was helping Shawn Arrows, and a Vincent action figure. Well, that properly embarrasses Shawn Arrows, doesn't it?
JS: I guess so. Now Carlos is talking trash to Shawn Arrows... Lopez has a microphone.
Carlos Lopez:You know what Arrows? You were NOTHING without me. I made you what you are today, and I just broke you. You had your big shot, your big oppertuinity at beating Psycho Jay, and you blew it, just like you blew everything else. If only you weren't a waste of semen, I could see teaming up with you, but Arrows, one loss after another discourages me to a great point, a point of no return. Arrows, you are nothing with or without me, so why the hell should I be dragged down...
(Lopez throws down the microphone, and turns around, right into the face of Psycho Jay. Jay kicks Lopez in the gut and gives him a huge Humpinator.)
MR:DEAR GOD! JAY JUST LAID OUT CARLOS LOPEZ! JAY JUST LAID OUT CARLOS LOPEZ!
("Awakening" By Living Sacrifice plays over the pa system as Jay grabs his world belt. Out from the back PaiN rushes out, and catches Jay, turning him around and nailing his signature move, Total Destruction(Sit down Pedigree).)
MR:PaiN just interrupted things! PaiN has the world belt, and he just laid out Jay! Jay is trying to stumble to his feet, but a huge belt shot sends him RIGHT back down!
::PaiN starts walking around Psycho Jay.. He stops and faces the camera.::
PaiN: I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T NEED TO SAY A THING ABOUT HIM.. Jay.. I just tore you a new hole boy. Don't you ever mess with me.. GOT IT?!? Your messing with the wrong man.Do you actually think that you could mess with me and get away with it? OF COURSE NOT. I am the greatest thing to ever hit IWO.. Just because you want my glory doesn't mean a thing.. Your never going to be able to take my upcoming glory Jay. Just cause you think I'm going to take your glory.. Who cares.. I've earned my glory.. NOT YOU.. NOT ANYBODY!! Everybody in IWO HAS BEEN HANDED EVERYTHING IN THEIR LIFE!! I was handed NOTHING! And I am tired of it..PaiN is tired of all the money and all the CRAP passed around the locker room.. Jay, it ends now.. Your not going to be happy anymore.. I'm going to beat you so bad that your going to be sane Jay.. Jay, you've ENTERED THE PaiN NOW.. Your walking that road of Total Destruction.. Jay.. SEE THE PaiN, HEAR THE PaiN, FEEL THE PaiN..
::"Awakening" By Living Sacrifice::
JS:Wow... PaiN thinks he's a somebody now...
MR:Shut up Storm.
[The scene cuts in as we see Capital Punishment talking to a guy]
Cappy: Yea....it's the money...Evan is paying me very well,so I figure I might as well get something out of him even though I can't get my belt.
Guy: I thought you were better then that.
Cappy: I thought so too, but here we are!
Guy: HAHAHA, true, ever think that Kell is out to get you?
Cappy: Who cares about Kell, as long as we got his drunken buddy, he won't touch me.
Cappy: REALLY! Listen, I've got stuff to take care of...
[Cappy turns around and opens the door to the stiars as he falls straight down the stairs hard and fast....he hits the bottom hard and is out cold as Phelen Kell walks into the camera. He has the eerie sly smile on his face to creep out Evan of course.]
Kell: All too easy...
[ Scene cuts back to Evan who is flipping out.]
[scene dies out]
** COMMERCIAL BREAK **
::Vance, another of Capital Punishments friends walks alone down a dimly lit hall. He opens up a door a wields back the crowbar he has in his hand. He looks inside and see's a giant turtle on the floor, looking up at him.
They stare at eachother for a moment.::
Vance:....What the fuck?
Turtle:.....I was gonna say the same thing to you....asshole.
::The turtle doppily walks past Vance and out the door. It bites his big toe. He screams in pain and grabs his foot. From behind him we see Phelen Kell with a chair. He hits Vance over the head knocking him down on the
floor. Phelen turns the lights in the room off and shuts the door, locking it from the outside. He smiles and looks down at the turtle.::
Phelen: Thanks Mr. Squiggles.
Mr. Squiggles:.....yup. Whatever.
::Fade to the broadcasters.::
High Flyer vs. the Mysterious One, ?¿?
MR:Oh boy, I am looking forward to this one. They battle in February when the Mysterious One challenged Flyer in the second ever cat bowl death match, and here, tonight they will get it on one more time.
JS:This is going to be historic. No matter what happens, many people will remember this night...
Ring Announcer:This next matchup is scheduled for one fall, and is the MAIN EVENT! Introducing first, from Bethlehem, PA, a former IWO World Heavyweight Champion, he weighs in at 204 1/4 pounds, here is High Flyer!
(The familiar cords of "Loco" by Coal Chamber begin to play, as the words "Pull" echo throughout the arena here in Orlando. Fireworks shoot up as out from the back walks Flyer, alone in his slowly and arduous walk to the ring. He climbs in, and grabs a microphone.)
Flyer:Hello Orlando, Florida...
(Flyer throws the microphone down, either in disguist or something else clouding his mind. "Take the Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine plays over the pa system as out from the back walks the Myserious One, to obvious huge amounts of cheers.)
MR:I wonder if that's the real ?¿?... I mean, Larson did wear the mask earlier in the year.
JS:That's the real Mysterious One... you can just tell these things!
AK:It does look like him, but we'll see by his wrestling style, won't we?
(The Mysterious One slides into the ring, and stares down Flyer through the mask. Flyer, of course, returns the stare.)
*Ding, ding, ding*
MR:And here we go! The Mysterious One right off the block with right hand attempts to Flyer, Flyer catches one upside the head. Flyer stumbles aroudn, as ?¿? hooks Flyer once more. Flyer catches the arm, and nails him with a huge single arm ddt!
JS:Well, the Mysterious One was never truly known for his wrestling skills, he was, and always will be a brawler. Flyer has the right strategy to work over ?¿? as a wrestler, not a brawler.
AK:Flyer back up to his feet, he's waiting for the Mysterious One to get to his feet, Flyer goes for a superkick, but ?¿? catches it! Flyer is trying to stand, as ?¿? has his foot. Flyer goes for an enzeguri but ?¿? catches him with a huge clothesline! Dear god! Flyer had nothing to go back on as ?¿? just clotheslined him out of his boots!
MR:Flyer hit the mat hard, as ?¿? is on top of him once more, hammering him with rights and lefts. ?¿? picks Flyer up off the mat, and throws him off the ropes. Big back body drop by ?¿? sends Flyer up and over, but Flyer lands on his feet. Flyer turns around and hooks ?¿?, Inverted Twist of Fate!
JS:Flyer is working to the advantage, but Flyer has also taken some huge blows to the head. Flyer grabs ?¿? up off the mat, and hooks him in an arm bar. He goes for another side kick, but ?¿? ducks. ?¿? kicks Flyer in the gut, and picks him up off the mat... HUGE neck first powerbomb!
AK:?¿? just took out Flyer, specially out of his game with blows like that. ?¿? grabs Flyer and sends him into the corner, and just begins to chop the hell out of Flyer! Flyer falls down in the corner, as the Mysterious One seems to have Flyer right where he wants him.
MR:?¿? grabs Flyer up off the mat, and takes him over in a snap mare, and hammers Flyer right in the back with a huge spin kick. Flyer clutches his lower back and shouts out in pain as the Mysterious One continues his onslaught.
AK:The Mysterious One picks Flyer up off the canvas, as Flyer kicks ?¿? in the gut. Flyer puts his leg on ?¿?'s neck, and flips over, landing on his feet. ?¿? goes for a huge clothesline, but Flyer ducks underneath, and grabs ?¿? from behind, nailing him down with a huge diving inverted ddt.
MR:Flyer up quickly, and springs off the middle ropes with an asai moonsault onto the prone ?¿?. Cover, 1-2-NO! ?¿? gets a shoulder up, relativly easily I might add.
JS:It's still early. Flyer may be good, but ?¿? is a legend, and a Hall of Famer.
AK:Flyer grabs ?¿? up off the mat, and hammers him with a right hand. That must have awaken the Mysterious One moreso, as he returns the favor. Flyer fights back, not a smart idea for the smaller Flyer. ?¿? catches him with a huge right that sends him stumbling, as ?¿? hooks Flyer, and nails him with a huge fisherman suplex! 1-2-NO! Flyer got a shoulder up!
MR:?¿? is back up to his feet, looking to settle the score that Flyer started last week at Takeover. ?¿? picks Flyer up, and puts him right back down with a huge belly to back suplex. ?¿? drops a quick elbow and hooks another cover, 1-2-NO! Flyer gets a shoulder up once more.
JS:?¿? is trying to put away Flyer earlier... and Flyer reverses the trend with a low blow! Flyer kicks ?¿? in the gut, and nails him with Cold Snow! Dear god! ?¿? was planted!
MR:?¿? is down, Flyer is trying to get back to his feet. That powerbomb must have majorly affect him in the long run...
AK:Flyer drags his arm onto ?¿?'s shoulders! 1-2-NO! ?¿? got a shoulder up! I can't believe it!
JS:It IS the Mysterious One, whether I like to admit it or not, he is a legend.
MR:Flyer grabs ?¿? up off the mat, and kicks him in the gut. Flyer is trying to regain himself as well, as the Mysterious One fights back with a right hand. Flyer catches the Mysterious One with a huge crescent kick, which only staggered ?¿?.
AK:Flyer hooks ?¿?, he hit Hypothermia! He bridged with a cover, 1-2-NO! ?¿? hit Flyer's rib-cage, breaking the bridge and therefore the pinfall attempt.
JS:Flyer had two close calls there... and the Mysterious One kicked out of both.
AK:I still can't believe he's back. After all this time...
MR:Flyer jumps up for a huda... NO! ?¿? hooks him down... He has him in perfect position!
(All of a sudden, Kate Young races out from the back and grabs the ring bell. She tosses it into the ring, right under the ?¿?'s Mystery Death Driver, as he lands Flyer right onto the bell.)
AK:What the hell just happened!
MR:The Mysterious One just laid out Flyer onto the ring bell, but does that count as a weapon's use? Kate Young threw it in there!
JS:Kate Young's in the ring consoling Flyer, let's get the word...
Ring Announcer:You're winner, via disqualification.... HIGH FLYER!
MR:Oh my god! the Mysterious One is livit. He just grabbed Kate Young! Flyer is defenseless! Come on ?¿?! Don't do it! She's just a girl, whether she's the spawn of satan means nothing!
JS:Flyer is out, Kate Young is trying to get out, but wait... the referee is forcing ?¿? off Kate... ?¿? drops Kate, and just Mystery Death Drove the referee! Dear god! Dear god! We're out of time!
::We cut to a scene of loonliness, as Evan Levine sits alone in his locker room in the corner of the room on a chair. He is totally silent. Just looking around the room. Above him...below him....and all around. The room is totally silent now. With only the sound of a ticking clock in the corner. Suddenly the door flies open at the other end of the room. And a man steps in to the room. Evan jumps out of his chair and looks at the man, who is Phelen Kell. Kell smiles devilishly.::
Phelen: Hello Evan.
Evan: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!
Evan: NO! NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING TO ME! GET BACK! I'M SERIOUS!
::Evan backs up to the furthest wall as Phelen walks closer to him.::
Evan: WHAAAAT?!?!?! STOP SAYING MY NAME! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?
::The lights in the room go out, and the room is pitch black and totally quiet.::
Phelen: Welcome to hell.
::The already black scene fades out as we hear Evan screaming at the top of his lungs.::
Monday Night Meltdown
World Title Match
Special Guest Referee:Evan Levine
Special Guest Enforcer:Phelen Kell
Aaron Kain vs. Psycho Jay
*Aaron Kain's never had a shot at the major prize... maybe he can keep his eye on it this time, at his best oppertuinity to do so*
North American Title Tournament
High Flyer vs. Rob Kestler vs. Mike Extreme
AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) vs. Sam Potright vs. Syphon Fission
World Tag Team Title Matchup
Special Guest Referees:The Prep Kids
Suicide Kings -c- vs. Sam Potright & Donnie Daze
Blue Light Special Match
K-Mart Kelvin Martin vs. Billy Ray
Carlos Lopez vs. Phyre
Television Title Match
Mike Marchese vs. Spaz
Ash wanted Mike, now he's got him
Mike Extreme vs. Ash Robinson