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TV Number One Contendership
John Wade v Dark Insanity

In a long shot.. Wade dominated Insanity winning with a Perfect Plex..

Phelen Kell v Phycho Jay

In a 58 minute match Phelen Kell in the Steel Force and beat Jay..
Before the
match Willow Kell came out.. We thought it was his sister.. But it was
a
midget that Jay brought..

I/C Tag Match
BHB v Wrecking Crew

In a quick and easy win.. BHB makes the pin after the Sunset In Beverly
Hills.

Ashton Cain v Billy Larson

Larson and Cain fight back in fourth.. Larson gets the Armaggeddon and
wins
the match.. He then spits on Cain.

Dane Wilt vs Al Coholic
First Blood

GP: Coming up we have what should be an amazingly exciting match
between
former champ Dane Wilt and Al Coholic!

JT: This is NOT for the Hardcore title, but it will be a hardcore
match!

GP: The stipulation is..... the first one to draw blood is the loser!

(""Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine hits the speakers as Al
Coholic strolles to the ring. He brings with him a bucket of fun tools,
as a
real hardcore champ should!)

Nikki: Now let's bring out Dane!

("Alright (Oh yeah)" by Local H blares over as Dane Wilt steps out with
a
serious look on his face. Al and Dane meet on the railway)

GP: HERE WE GO! Al Coholic already has a chair, but decides he won't
need it
just yet.

JT: Dane Wilt was a world champ, yes, but he sure does love these
hardcore
matches!

GP: Coholic is in his prime, as he sends Wilt to the metal with a DDT!

JT: Speaking of hardcore matches, let's show you what happened between
Tony
Davis and Dane Wilt just this past Friday!

[Roll footage]

JT:AHAHAHAHA! Brian and Max are still tradeing punches up top. Now
Dane
Wilt is up...HE JUMPS OFF THE TOP OF THE BOWL AND DOES THE SHOOTING
STAR
PRESS HE'S GOT TONY DAVIS BOX OFFICE SMASH...NO! DAVIS IS ABLE TO
REVERSE IT
INTO A NORTHEREN LIGHT SUPLEX AND SENDS DANE FLYING.

GP:Davis is up...MINI DANE CHARGES AT DAVIS...AND DAVIS KICKS HIM RIGHT
IN
THE FACE! DAVIS PICKS HIM UP....AND WALKS OVER AND JAX STONE TOSSES HIM
A
BLENDER?!?!?!?!?!? DAVIS OPENS IT UP...AND STICKS MINI-DANE HEAD FIRST
INTO
IT....AND OH MY GOOOOOOD!

JT:MINI-DANE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SBW:YIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCK!

0┐0:HE WENT TO DA BIRDS DERE!

GP:DAVIS HAS THE BLENDER OVER FLOWING WITH THE BLOOD OF MINI DANE WILT!
AND
JUST THREW IT'S CORPSE INTO THE CROWD. Davis climbs up in the pea soup
and
dumps the blood in his gallon jub!!!!!

SBW:THAT WAS A GOOD MOVE!

GP:The ref is checking it.....and OH MY GOD! It's a gallon! The ref is
calling for the bell!

Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen in 29:50 your winner....and NEW IWO
WORLD CHAMPION TONY DAVIS!

[End footage]

GP: It was a wild one, and Davis ended up the winner.

JT: Now we got both men in the ring, and Coholic is picking up that
chair
again!

GP: HUGE CHAIR SHOT! BUT DANE WON'T FALL DOWN!

JT: NOT AGAIN! BAM!!! ANOTHER ONE! THIS TIME DANE KNEW HIS ROLE!

GP: Dane Wilt is out, but not bleeding yet! Al Coholic is frustrated,
and
heads back to his bucket of tools.

JT: I don't think anyone pays attention to this part of the match.

GP: I had sex with your mother.

JT: WHAT?!

GP: I can say that! HaHa! No one is listening anyway.

JT: I am a homosexual! HAHA!

GP: Dane Wilt is a pussy! Al Coholic is a wimp!

Nikki: I think Dane heard that!

GP: WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!

JT: HAHA! DANE WILT JUST THROW THE RING BELL AT GP! IT ALMOST HIT HIM!

GP: IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

JT: HEY LET'S PLAY THE COLOR GAME. I THINK OF A COLOR AND YOU SAY IT!

GP: OK YOU FIRST!

JT: UM BLUE!

GP: WRONG! HAHA IT WAS RED!

JT: I like the color game.

GP: Back to the match! Al Coholic punches Dane Wilt. Wow, who wouldve
thought such terrible acts would take place in a wrestling match.

JT: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

GP: Wake up there's a match going on!

Nikki: You guys are losers. This is a great match!

JT: Of course it is, but I didn't catch my Zs last night!

GP: OUCH! Dane Wilt just leveled Al Coholic with a PIZZA PAN?!

JT: They are bringing it all out tonight. BUT NO BLOOD!!!

GP: Someone has to break open soon or drastic measures WILL go down!

JT: Uh oh! Dane Wilt is hulking up!

GP: OUCH WHAT A CHAIR SHOT!

JT: AL COHOLIC IS DOWN BUT DANE WILT WILL NOT STOP BEATING ON HIM!

GP: DANE WILT IS POUNDING AWAY AT AL COHOLIC!!

JT: SECURITY HAS COME DOWN! AL COHOLIC HAS NOT SHRED A DROP OF BLOOD!

(Billy Larson comes sprinting down to the ring)

GP: BILLY LARSON IS IN! THE OFFICIAL DOESN'T SEE HIM! HE'S GOT BRASS
KNUCKLES!!!

JT: OH NO WILT DOESN'T SEE HIM! LARSON NAILS WILT WITH THE KNUCKLES!!!!

GP: WILT IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! BUT NO ONE SEES HIM DOWN!

JT: WAIT! AL COHOLIC JUST STARTED BLEEDING TOO! THE REF SEES THIS AND
CALLS
FOR THE BELL!

GP: WILT WINS! WILT WINS!

JT: I don't know how to call that one, but I guess Dane Wilt is the
winner!

GP: What did Billy Larson want to do with Dane Wilt?

JT: Or was he helping Al Coholic?

Ring Announcer: The Winner! DANE WILT!!!

[Commerial Break]

GP:Welcome back to Monday...

JT:Night Football... wait! WAIT! I didn't think I'd mess it up!

GP:But you did! YOU! You messed up the opening to another fine MNM
part!

JT:But I didn't mean to! Come on GP... give me another chance...

(All of a sudden, a midget in a blue bikini comes walking out from the
back.
He makes his way over to the announcers booth and hands Greg Parker a
letter.)

JT:Do you normally get mysterious midgits coming up to you handing you
a
letter?

GP:No... that's Romantism for you.

JT:Romantism? Isn't that where you try to whoo a girl... like I do with
Nikki
week after week?

*Slap*

JT:Owww... you were so quiet I forgot you were even there....

Nikki:Romantism is a time in book writing where odd events would have,
bizarre
gothic events through time...

JT:You mean like that Vampress with Le...

GP:(Cutting JT off)This letter is addressed from High Flyer! He asks me
to
read it, and don't let JT see it.

JT:What do you mean! I'm good with secrets! I can look at it, can't I
Greg?
Come on!

(Greg Parker clears his throat, as he begins to read the letter.)

GP:Dear IWO and IWO fans. I have once addressed an issue that does not
seem to
be settled. As many of you know, ?┐? challenged me for a little pre-pay
per
view matchup, which, as you all know I can not do at this time, due to
my knee
injury. What I am addressing in this letter is something I could not
address
in person, as I am still in rehabilitation. My rehabilitation, and my
knee
injury are quickly becoming better... as of now I feel no pain in my
leg. What
this letter is for... is to announce my return next week on Monday
Night
Meltdown. I shall be ready by this Friday's Hostile Takeover, but I'd
rather
not take the change. So, Monday, the 17th, is High Flyer's two week
return
from a knee injury. This letter should have also been address to the
Mysterious One... but stupid pen. I think of these things as I go. ?┐?,
this
coming monday when I make my return, I am asking for that matchup you
wished
to have one week ago. I still see you've been shunned away, as your
wrestling
ability has not been able to shin, so you are still looking for that
return
match. ?┐?, if you will, let's have this matchup next Monday... January
17th,
2000... a day that will live on for years to come. I thank you for your
time..
Sin... Uh.. IWO
-High Flyer

GP:This is big news! Flyer's rehabilitation must be going better than
normal,
as he is going to be returning next monday, and hopefully fighting the
Mysterious One.

JT:I thank you for that translation. I think Flyer needs some writing
skills..
I can't even read it it has such a bad hand writing!

GP:What do you mean JT? I didn't let you read it.

JT:But I tried.

GP:You didn't even get a good look at it... CONSIDERING IT'S TYPED!

JT:Oh...

*Slap*

JT:What was that for!

Nikki:You're stupidity....

GP:Come on... we have to get to what's next on the agenda...


*MAIN EVENT*
US Title Match
2 out of 3 Falls
Four Corners.. Must be pinned twice to be eliminated.
The Raging One -c- v Dan "The GOOD boy" Hopkins v Rob Kestler v Chrome
Thunder

GP - What a night this has been so far.. And things are just gonna get
better. This match is for the United States Champion!!!

JT - WHOOPIE FREAKIN' DOO.

Nikki - A LOT of controversy surrounded Hostile Takeover this week. I
must
admit things did seem a little fishy.

JT - You just didn't wash between your legs.

*smack*

JT - BITCH!!!

*smack*

GP - Lets be honest though Nikki. The Raging One got the United States
title.. It doesn't matter what controversy there is or was. All that
matters
is that HE IS the United States Champion. Atleast he is right now.

JT - He wont be after this match. Look who he is facing. We have Rob
Kestler, I guy that I admire.. We have Bore Ass Thunder.. I mean Chrome
Thunder. And of course a guy that I don't see how he got in this match
in
the first place.. Dan Hopkins.

Nikki - Hopkins deserves to be here. He is a very good athlete and
could
finally get a break here tonight on Monday Night Meltdown.

JT - Wow.. Aren't we the promotional type.. WATCH US TO SEE HOW GREAT
DAN
HOPKINS IS.. BLAH BLAH.. My ass... Hopkins is a damn little fairy boy.
Rob
Kestler is the man for this match and trust me.. His ass is gonna win
it!!!

GP - You are Mr. Promotion for Kestler.

JT - What channel are we on?

GP - X

JT - X?

Nikki - yes.. X

JT - X channel?

GP - Yes...

JT - Ok..then.. F*CK YOU

GP - =(

Nikki - AWWWW!!!

JT - I'm sorry Greg.. Please cheer up.

GP - =)

JT - That's better!!!

Nikki - Now lets bring out the guys involved in the match!!!

GP - Wait.. before we do that.. Can we not like have a confession time?

Nikki - Whatchu smoking?

GP - I mean.. Come on.. I really like you guys but sometimes you do
hurt my
feelings. I mean... I am sensitive and all.

JT - Well sometimes you two piss me off so bad that I just want to rip
off
Nikki's clothes and have anal sex with her!!!

*smack*

Nikki - My ass hurts from last night with Titan!!! I mean.. umm... oh
shit..
LETS GO UP TO THE RING ANNOUNCER!!!

GP - O I C how it is...

(The ring announcer is in the ring with the microphone. A microphone in
which is laced with crack. This microphone was supplied to use by the
Dallas
Cowboys. Boy they suck. Anyway... Here is the ring announcer!!!)

Ring Announcer - This match is the MAIN EVENT on Monday Night
Meltdown!!! It
is for the United States Heavyweight Championship of the WORLD!!!

(The crowd goes "oooohhh")

Ring Announcer - The match is with four men.. And you must be pinned
TWICE
to be eliminated. So this match will have 7 falls... Introducing
first...

("Keep Away" by Godsmack begins to play. The Raging One and Flame make
their
way down to the ring. The Raging One has the United States title over
his
shoulder. He gets to the ring and grabs the microphone away from the
ring
announcer.)

The Raging One - Hostile Takeover seems to have a huge cloud over it
and
most of that cloud is because of me. If you people can't get it through
your
damn heads that I am the United States Champion then I think you need
some
kind of treatment. TREATMENT... So lets bring out the other three jack
asses
so I can prove to you people once and for all that I am the REAL United
States Champion...

("Champagne" by Chris Rock begins to play.)

JT - Queer song...

Ring Announcer - The second man involved in this match... He is six
foot
three.. He weighs two hundred and fifty six pounds.. He is being led to
the
ring by Jack Walkner.. here is.. DAN "THE GOOD BOY" HOPKINS!!!

(Hopkins and Walkner make their way out. The crowd cheers for them..
Amazing.)

GP - Dan Hopkins looks ready for this match guys!!!

JT - WHO CARES?!??! He sucks.. He isn't going to be my bob Robbie.

Nikki - Robbie? Your boy? What are you?? Good Ol' Jt...

JT - Nikki.. wanna play a game?

Nikki - I guess?

JT - You see this microphone?

(holds up microphone.)

Nikki - YEAH...

JT - STICK IT UP YOUR VAGINA!!!

*smack*

Nikki - Titan stuck his... BACK TO THE MATCH!!!

(Hopkins is in the ring. He is asking for the microphone.)

Dan Hopkins - I really don't know HOW I got pushed into this match..
But I
won't let anyone down. I will be a REAL champion.. Unlike some people
*turns
to the Raging One*

GP - Big words there from Hopkins.

JT - Yeah.. just words.. Geez...

("Freak on a Leash" by Korn begins to play. Rob Kestler makes his way
out.)

JT - Theres my boy!!!

Nikki - You suck up.

JT - Suck this...

(JT whips out his penis. A flying monkey comes down from the roof and
grabs
a hold of JT's penis. JT starts screaming out. Goopy runs from the back
and
grabs the flying monkey and pulls it off of JT's penis and eats the
flying
monkey.)

Goopy - OOOOGGGAAAA BOOOGGGAAAA GOOD!!!

(Exit Goopy.. Enter Night.. Take my hand.. Off to monkey monkey land.)

GP - That was... ummm....

JT - Painful?!?!

Nikki - HAHAHAHAHA!!!

("God of Thunder" by Kiss begins to play. Chrome Thunder makes his way
out.
Half the crowd cheers, Half the crowd goes to the back to release some
urine.)

GP - All four men are out here now!!! WOW!!!

JT - AND KESTLER IS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE OF THEM ALL!!!

Nikki - Hey.. is your dick bleeding?

JT - No, that's just monkey fur.

Nikki - AWWWW!!

JT - heh...

(All four men are in the ring. They are waiting on the bell to sound
and..
WHATS THIS!?!??! "The theme from Pee Wee's play house" begins to
play...

Come on in, and pull yourself up a chair (like Chairry!)
Let the fun begin, it's time to let down your hair!
Pee-wee's SO excited,
'cause all his friends have been invited (that's you!)
To go wacky, at Pee-wee's Playhouse!

There's a crazy rhythm, comin' from Puppetland (what that?)
Dirty Dog, Cool Cat, and Chicky Baby are the Puppet Band (yeah!)
He's got a couple of talkin' fish,
and a genie who'll grant a wish -
Golly, it's cuckoo at Pee-wee's Playhouse!

Globey's spinnin', Mr. Window's grinnin',
'cause Pterri's flyin' by (hello!)
The Flowers are singin', the Picture Phone is ringin',
and the Dinosaur family goes, "Hi!"
Mr. Kite's soarin', Conky's still a snorin',
there's the flashing Magic Screen,
The Cowntess is so classy, Randy's kinda sassy -
A nuttier establishment you've never seen!
Spend the day with Pee-wee and you'll see what we mean! (Come on!)

Get outta bed, there'll be no more nappin'! (Wake up!)
'Cause you've landed in a place where anything can happen -
Now we've given you fair warnin'!
It's gonna be that kind of mornin' -
For bein' wacky!
For getting nutty!
Golly, it's cuckoo!
At Pee-wee's Playhouse!)

GP - Why he is coming out here?!?!

(Joe is making his way down to the ring wearing a refree's shirt.)

JT - CAUSE HE IS THE SPECIAL GUEST REFREE!!!

GP - BUT HOW?!?! AND WHY!?!??!

JT - HAHAHAHHA!!!

(Joe gets in the ring and asks for a microphone.)

Joe - I'm not gonna take any s.... CRAP from any of you.. Ok!!! RING
THE
BELL!!! *quirky pee wee laugh*

(Hopkins, The Raging One, Kestler, and Thunder are all ready for the
match!!!)

*DING A DING DING*

Dan Hopkins goes right after The Raging One. They start brawling. So
much
that both men fall out of the ring to the floor. They continue to
brawl. Dan
Hopkins is POUNDING The Raging One's head hard against the floor. The
Raging
One is just being used like a damn basketball.

JT - Things aren't looking too hot for The Raging One are they?!!??!
NO!!!

Kestler and Thunder have locked up. Kestler sends Thunder into the
corner.
He charges in, Thunder moves, Kestler hits the corner hard. Chrome
Thunder
watches him fall to the mat. Chrome Thunder pulls him up... Suplexes
him
back down to the mat. Chrome Thunder with a quick count...1...
That's it.. Just one...

JT - My boy wont go down that easy!!!


Dan Hopkins has The Raging One up.. He slings him back first into the
ring
steps. Hopkins is looking around. He grabs a steel chair. He goes over
and... NO!!! Flame grabs the chair away from Hopkins!!! Hopkins turns
around.. BAM!!! RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!! Hopkins goes
down!!!
Flame starts driving the chair into Hopkins throat.. WAIT!!! here comes
Jack
Walkner!! He nails Flame!!! The chair flies from Flame's hand. Walkner
rushes over and grabs the chair.. HE NAILS FLAME WITH THE CHAIR!!! The
Raging One is getting up. He grabs the chair from Walkner's hand!!!
Walkner
turns around.. BAM!!! Walkner is down like a light!!! The Raging One
pulls
Dan Hopkins up.. He picks him up.. and slams him down on the
guardrail!!!
Hard!! Hopkins yells out in pain... OUCH!!!

GP - It doesn't look good for Dan Hopkins right about now. He is in
some
serious pain.

Hopkins falls from the guardrail. The Raging One rolls him into the
ring.
Chrome Thunder immediately sees his chance. He starts stomping away on
Hopkins. The Raging One grabs a chair and gets in the ring. He NAILS
Chrome
Thunder in the head!!! Chrome Thunder goes down next to Dan Hopkins!!!
Rob
Kestler gets smacked!!! All three men are down!!! The Raging One is
standing
over them holding the chair up high.

GP - Who is the TRUE US Champion now?

JT - Shut your mouth.. My boy isn't out of this yet!!!

Nikki - Yes he is... Everyone is!! HAHAHA!!!

JT - Look at your pick Hopkins. He is out cold too...

Nikki - Up yours monkey dick boy.

The Raging One pulls Dan Hopkins up... END OF DAYS!!! END OF DAYS!!!
Hopkins
is down!!! The Raging One with a cover..1..2...3!!!

Pinned Once - Dan Hopkins

GP - Dan Hopkins is on the verge of being eliminated. This is unreal. I
thought Hopkins had a real good chance here.

The Raging One now pulls up Chrome Thunder... WAIT!! WAIT!! Kestler
grabs
his leg.. He jerks The Raging One down to the mat!!!! Kestler gets on
top of
The Raging One and starts pounding away on him. Chrome Thunder is now
starting to move a bit. He sees the chair dropped. He grabs the chair.
HE
NAILS KESTLER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! Kestler goes down hard
to
the mat. Chrome Thunder falls down on top of him...1..2....3

Pinned Once - Rob Kestler

Nikki - YOU BOY IS DOWN!!! He is almost out!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Your pick
sucks!!!

JT - Up yours bitch.

*smack*

Nikki - How many times I got to tell you? Titan stuck it up me enough
last
night!!! I MEAN.. BACK TO THE MATCH...

Chrome Thunder is slowly getting up.. He looks around. He sees The
Raging
One. Chrome Thunder still has the chair. He looks down at The Raging
One..
HE SWINGS.. WAIT!!! The Raging One sticks his boot up and it shoots the
chair back into Chrome's face!!! It smacks Chrome right in the nose and
blood immediately comes out of it. He goes down hard to the mat... The
Raging One stumbles up. He pulls Chrome Thunder up.. END OF DAYS!!!
END OF
DAYS!!! 1..2.....3!!

Pinned Once - Chrome Thunder

GP - The United States Champion THE RAGING ONE is the only one not to
have
been pinned so far!! Everything is going his way!!! All he has to do is
stay
back now and let the other three fight it out.

JT - Yeah.. And a wuss champion like him would do that.

The Raging One is up.. He grabs the chair and looks and sees that all
three
of his opponents are still down.. WAIT!!! THE LIGHTS IN THE ARENA GO
OUT!!!

GP - WHAT THE HELL!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

(At the entrance way big fireworks go boom.)

GP - THROUGH HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE!!! IT'S KANE!!! IT'S
KANE!!!

JT - Ummm...

(From the back appears... No One?!?!? The lights come back on... The
Raging
One is out cold!!! All four men are down!!!)

Nikki - What the hell just happened?!??! Why is he down!?!? Hell..
Everyone
out here is out!!! This is weird!!! The Raging One has been busted
open!!!

Rob Kestler slowly rolls over. He gets his arm over The Raging
One..1..2...3

Pinned Once - The Raging One

GP - ALL FOUR MEN HAVE BEEN PINNED ONCE!!! This is awesome!!!
INCREDIBLE!!!

JT - CALM DOWN!!! damn... man....

Nikki - GET UP DAN!!!

Chrome Thunder is slowly getting up. He looks around... Rolls out of
the
ring.. AND RUNS TO THE BACK!?!??

Nikki - Where is he going?!?!

JT - No clue.. He must be SCARED.. The little bitch is leaving!!!

Dan Hopkins rolls out of the ring to the floor. He is trying to pull
himself
up. The Raging One and Rob Kestler are also trying to get up. The
Raging One
is using the ropes to pull himself up.. WAIT.. FLAME JUST HANDED HIM
SOMETHING!!! WHAT IS IT!! MY GOD!!! WHAT COULD IT BE?!?!? COULD IT BE
BRASS
KNUCKLES?!?!? He goes over to Kestler... He jerks Kestler up.. YES!!!
BRASS
KNUCKLES!!! KESTLER IS OUT!!! BUT WAIT!! FROM THE BACK!!! Chrome
Thunder is
driving a dump truck!!! He backs it up to the ring... HE IS GOING TO
DUMP
STUFF FROM THE TRUCK INTO THE RING... OH MY GOD... IT IS POOP!!! A
TRUCK
FULL OF STINKY SMELLY POOP!!! POOP IS ALL IN THE RING... AND NOW CHROME
THUNDER IS GETTING OUT OF THE TRUCK.. HE HAS NADS!!! CHROME THUNDER HAS
NADS!!! RATINGS SPIKE!!! RATINGS SPIKE!!! POOP AND NADS!!! MY GOD!!!

GP - This is unreal...

Chrome Thunder jumps in the ring with the poop and nail The Raging One
with
the nads!!! The Raging One is down!!! IN THE POOP!!! WAIT!!! DAN
HOPKINS IS
GETTING BACK IN THE RING!!! MY GOD!!! He has a damn... METAL STATUE OF
GOOPY!!!! HE NAILS CHROME THUNDER WITH IT!!! Chrome Thunder is down..
Hopkins with a quick cover.1.......2.......3!!!

Eliminated - CHROME THUNDER

Dan Hopkins now goes over to Rob Kestler.... Kestler's head is busted
open
from the shot by The Raging One... Jack Walkner tosses Hopkins a
ladder.. He
sets the ladder up on the poop. He climbs the ladder carrying Kestler
with
him.. FLYING MONKEYS!!! FLYING MONKEYS!!! MY GOD!!! THEY ARE
EVERYWHERE!!!
THEY ARE SWARMING KESTLER AND HOPKINS!!! The Ladder is shaky.. THEY
FALL..
DOWN.. DOWN.. HARD... TO THE POOP... The Raging One is now getting up.
He
sees both men down in the POOP... He jerks Kestler up.. END OF DAYS
ONTO THE
LADDER.. INTO THE POOP!!! SICK!!! POOP GOES EVERYWHERE!! MY GOD!!
SICK!!! He
goes for the cover.. joe stumbles over..1..2...3

Eliminated - Rob Kestler

JT - MY BOY!!! NO!!! DAMN THE POOP!!! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!

The Raging One now pulls Dan Hopkins up.. NO!!! SMALL PACKAGE!!! SMALL
PACKAGE!!! 1..2...3

WINNER AND NEW US CHAMPION - DAN "THE GOOD BOY" HOPKINS!!!

GP - UNREAL!!! HE DID IT!!! DAN HOPKINS IS THE WINNER!!! THE POWER IS
BLINKING I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE!!! DAMN TORNADOS!!!



GP - Well, it's time for that big confrontation between three former
best
friends! Dane Wilt, Phelen Kell and Ashton Cain!

Nikki - A combined 5 World Titles between the three! They truly have
shaped
the IWO in the past year.

JT - JUST SHUT UP!!! CAN'T YOU REALIZE THAT TITAN AND LARSON ARE THE
GREATEST
EVER?

GP - That remains to be seen.

("Alright (Oh Yeah)" by LocalH begins to play as the crowd begins to
boo
instantaneously. Dane Wilt makes his way out with noone else, by
himself. The
crowd is really on his case. He slides into the ring and awaits Kell
and
Cain.)

JT - The superheel!! One of my all time favorites!

("Only One" by Slipknot begins to play and the crowd goes crazy. Ashton
Cain
makes his way out, running to the ring and sliding in, hitting the top
rope
and coming back down. He eyes Dane and keeps his distance.)

GP - And now the three time champ!

("Sober" by Tool begins to play as Phelen Kell comes out to a
thunderous
ovation. He walks methodically to the ring, slapping hands before
sliding in..
He leans against the ropes, just watching Cain and Wilt.)

GP - And now all three men are given microphones. A verbal war is about
to
ensue!

Dane Wilt - Why the hell is this even taking place?

Ashton Cain - Was this scheduled?

Phelen Kell - Whatever... Cain.. I know something about you.

Wilt - OH JUST SHUT UP KELL!

Kell - Dane, close your mouth before I rip your head off and shit down
your
neck!

(Big pop for Kell!)

GP - Kell is regulating!

("Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit begins to play. OUT WALKS TITAN,
LARSON,
AND PROJECT DUECE!!!)

Titan - Oh, all you babies shut up. You're all so GOD DAMN BORING!

Larson - Blah blah blah.. how long is the love triangle going to go on
for!

Sefirosu - Yeah! You guys.. suck!

Titan - We didn't ask you to talk Sefirosu.

Larson - Make yourselves useful and take them out, will ya?

(Project Duece runs down to the ring!! They slide in and are
immeaditley
wiped out by the three men!)

GP - ALL THREE MEN AT ONE TIME WERE UNDER THE HOSTILE YOUTH NAME! THEY
ARE
DISMANTLING PROJECT DUECE!! KELL HAS DEUS ON THE TOP ROPE!! STEEL RAIN
(Top
Rope Powerbomb) ONTO THE CONCRETE!! DEUS IS BLEEDING FROM HIS HEAD!!
DANE
WILT WITH THE FACE LIFT AND I THINK SEFIROSU'S NECK IS BROKEN!

Titan - Good. Now that those two are out of the way..

(TITAN AND LARSON RUN DOWN TO THE RING! THEY ARE IN!! TITAN NAILS WILT!

LARSON CLOTHESLINES KELL! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON ASHTON CAIN!)

GP - WHAT IS THIS ABOUT!!!

JT - Titan and Larson are taking back what is theirs - THE IWO!

GP - They took the three by surprise and are dismantling them!

Titan - Hey Dane.. remember this guy right here!

Larson - He is a former Extreme Champ.. and you so foolishly kicked him
out!

Titan - .. Chrome Thunder?

Larson - DING DING DING! TITAN, TELL THEM WHAT THEY'VE WON!

Titan - An all expense paid ASS KICKING!

(CHROME THUNDER RUNS OUT WITH A BARBED WIRE CHAIR! TITAN AND LARSON
HOLD WILT
UP!! CHROME LICKS HIS LIPS AND SLAMS THE CHAIR DOWN ON HIS HEAD! IT
LOOKS
LIKE WILT'S SKULL CAVED IN!! WHAT AN UNBELIVEABLE SHOT!)

GP - YOU COULD FEEL THE HATRED BEHIND THAT CHAIR SHOT! RIGHT TO THE
DAMNED
SKULL!

Titan - Now that we have our ring back... we have three of the men who
will
participate against the team of the Mysterious Mexican, these three
idiots
and Exxon. Project Duece... you guys WON'T be in the match! Instead..
we'll
have two more men!

GP - WHO!! WHO!!?!?!??

Larson - Who could one of them be, Titan?

Titan - Well... he's a former IWO WORLD CHAMPION..

Larson - Go on!

Titan - He's a FORMER FWL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!

Larson - GO ON GO ON!!!

Titan - WE'VE FUEDED VERY MUCH OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS!

Larson - OH MY GOD!! IT CAN'T BE!!

("TAKE THE POWER BACK" BY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE BEGINS TO PLAY!)

Titan - You're right. It can't!

GP - IT'S NOT THE MYSTERIOUS ONE!? HE'S DONE ALL THOSE THINGS!

(Suddenly... "Take the Power Back" fades to "Revolver" by Rage Against
the
Machine as all the lights in the arena go out. A HUGE explosion of
pyro!)

Larson - NO WAY! NOT HIM!

Titan - YES! A FORMER IWO WORLD CHAMPION! A FORMER FWL INTERCONTINENTAL

CHAMPION! A MAN THAT HAS FUEDED WITH ME MUCH OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS!
LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU ONE OF THE TWO MYSTERY MEN AT CONSPIRACY
THEORY
2000...
ZZZZZZOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

GP - WHAT!??!?!?

JT - YES! YES YES YES!

(ZOMBIE WALKS OUT!!! THE FANS ARE BOOING THE FUCK OUT HIM!!! HE DOESN'T

CARE!! HE IS SMILING!!! LARSON AND TITAN LOOK SHOCKED!!)

GP - Look at those two in the ring pretending they didn't know about
this.

JT - IT'S ZOMBIE JT!! JUST SHUT UP!!

(ZOMBIE SLIDES INTO THE RING AND HUGS TITAN AND LARSON! HE... SLAPS
CHROME
THUNDERS HAND!! HE GRABS THE MICROPHONE!)

Zombie - Seems like all you stupid f*cks fell for every little bit of
that
huh?

(The fans are booing like hell!)

Zombie - It's funny isin't it! I leave for a month and the IWO goes to
all
hell! Dane Wilt wins the World Title and now Tony Davis is the champ!!
It's
pathetic!

(The fans are throwing stuff into the ring!!)

Zombie - LET ME GET THIS INTO ALL YOUR F*CKING HEADS!! WE RUN THE
SHOW!! YOU
HEAR ME? WE RUN THE DAMNED SHOW! NOT WILT, KELL, CAIN OR DAVIS! WE DO!

(Zombie drops down and slams the microphone into Ashton Cain's head.)

Zombie - We've had it! I was supposed to come back at Conspiracy Theory
but I
just can't take it anymore!!! The IWO SUCKS!!! I've come back here to
take it
back to glory along with Titan, Billy Larson, Chrome Thunder and our
other
mystery man, who will be revealed at Conspiracy Theory!

GP - This is nuts.

Zombie - Kilroy, Usual Suspects, Billion Dollar Promotion, we don't
give a
DAMN about any of you! WE ARE THE TEAM TO BEAT! We are UNSTOPPABLE!
Who's
going to beat us? Psycho Jay? Tony Davis? HAHAHAHA!! This is our
federation!
No more all Dane Wilt shows all the time! No more Phelen Kell boring
ass
monolouges insulting Dane Wilt like he was in 3rd grade! No more of
Ashton
Cain's annoying drawl! No more Mexican Wonder coming out and winning in
5
seconds! This is our federation again!! And anyone that wants to
challenge
our undisputed power strangle on the IWO, feel free to challenge us and
get
your ass kicked like a man!

(The fans are chanting "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!")

Zombie - Oh.. our other mystery man is in the building. Let's take a
look at
the IWOTron and see what he's up too!

(WHAT THE HELL!?!? TONY DAVIS HAS BEEN DRIVEN THROUGH A TABLE
BACKSTAGE!!
HE'S BLEEDING LIKE CRAZY! EMT'S ARE ALL AROUND!)

Zombie - That's courtesy of us, Davis!

(Chairman Dane, President Jamie and VP Shaun run out!)

Jamie - What the hell is this!! GET OUT OF MY ARENA!

(THEY RUSH THE THREE BOARD MEMBERS! ZOMBIE CHOKESLAMS SHAUN! TITAN
POWERBOMBS
JAMIE!! LARSON DDT'S CHAIRMAN DANE!! IT'S MAYHEM!)

Zombie - Now.. the four of us are calling out EVERYONE in the IWO! Open

challenges will be accepted! Anyone that has the balls to challenge any
three
of us, you got yourself a loss! I'm going to throw out one challenge..
Ashton
Cain or Dane Wilt, I want either one of you at the next MNM! As for
HT.. I
won't be fighting, but we'll all sure as hell be there.

(Zombie, Titan, Larson and Chrome all stand in the center of the ring
with
their arms raised as the camera fades to black..)



Once again I am sorry