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HOSTILE TAKEOVER
Live from the Civic Center in Spokane, Washington!

Main Event
Special Guest Referee #1:Al Coholic
Special Guest Referee #2:Rob Kestler
High Flyer vs. Phelen Kell
*Flyer has been bragging about being the one who defeated Kell in the 6 man tag team match last week on Monday Night Meltdown, now they'll go one on one with only one catch......both men's current rivals as the special referees.*

Mixed Tag Team Match
Rob Kestler/Cassie vs. Plandeux/Soltres(his wife-servant)
*Recently, Rob Kestler's arch-nemesis Plandeux, along with his wife servant Soltres, has re-surfaced. Trying to frame Rob and spreading rumor such as the Porn N' Go turning soft and Kestler being a child molester, as well
as spreading rumors about Rob's love interest Cassie. Now all four of them will step into the ring for a fierce battle.

Non-Title
Team Tampax -c- vs. Pure Attitude
*Pure Attitude were screwed last week by the formation of the new stable Children of the Porn. Now they'll seek a little revenge on the World Tag Team Champions who took their spot in the group.*

Non-Title
The Winds of Change vs. the Prime Time Soldiers
*The Prime Time Soldiers have not done much of anything since returning, while the Winds of Change have been nearly unbeatable. Will PTS get back on track, or will Winds of Change continue they're dominance?*

TV Title Match
Schitzo Tod vs. Vincent
In an announcement just made by Creative Team member My Dick, the TV title will be defended at every card, or at least every HT. Schitzo Tod will defend it against the massive penised Vincent.

Mike Extreme vs. Shawn Arrows
*These two guys are fighting.*

No DQ
Daze will wrestle twice
Donnie Daze vs. Rob Riot
*Daze has two matches for no apparent reason, while Rob Riot is trying to get his career back on track once again.*
-------------
(The scene opens up to the Hostile Takeover Logo. Fireworks and other cheesy pyro go off as the camera pans around the arena picking up many lame signs such as "Jay rhymes with Gay", "Mike Extreme wears panties", "I had sex with Caren Dudley and all I got was this lousy STD!", "Gaeyme Teyem Iz Hear", "When is the Porn N' Go re-opening?", "Central Powers reek of awesomeness and origionality in a stable name!", "AWS Man(also know as my father)", "God is a poophead", "oooo, Shawn Arrows is retarded", "Yah Donnie Daze", "Scott Stone
beat 5 former world champions and still doesn't have the belt"......and many other degrading posters. The camera then cuts to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki at the announcers table.....then to Habib Schlock, Milan, and QQ at the
Iranian announcers table, then to Malik, Bubba, and Willie at the Ebonics announcer's table, then finally back to JT, Parker and Nikki.)

GP: WELCOME EVERYONE TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER!

JT: Yes, where just last week the newly formed Children of the Porn had a Hostile Takeover of the Main Event and Donnie Daze's dignity!

Nikki: It wasn't right what the Children of the Porn did to poor Daze and Sanders.

JT: If they were dumb enough to fall for it then that's on them!

GP: We've got a great card lined up tonight as IWO Legend Phelen Kell takes on another Legend....Al Coholicin our Main Event!

JT: You call him a legend? Coholic is a loser, always was and always will be.

Nikki: He's a former world champion JT, show some respect.

JT: Respect my ass bitch.

*SMACK*

GP: You two are at it already, why don't.....

(Suddenly "Divine" by Korn blasts as Psycho Jay steps onto the ramp with the IWO World Title draped over his shoulder. Jay slowly walks down to the ring.)

GP: It's the World Champion Psycho Jay! He doesn't seem happy!

JT: I don't get him, one minute he's pissed, the next he's joking around.

Nikki: That's because one minute he's winning, the next he's losing.

GP: Jay is heading towards us......he walks past is and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer....JAY HUMPS THE RING ANNOUNCER'S HEAD!

JT: HAHAHAHA! This show is destined to be good, a head hump within the first 2 minutes!

GP: Now Jay climbs into the ring with the mic. Let's listen to what he has to say.

Psycho Jay: Hello people, hold your applause because quite frankly I'm not in the mood. I understand that being the World Champion makes you a marked man. Everyone wants a shot, everyone feels they deserve it. Well
unfortunately right now in the IWO.....NOBODY DESERVES IT. But even with that fact being painfully obvious, I still get mid-card for lifers like Scott Stone and Wesley Sanders claiming they can beat me. I already proved
Sanders wrong on Meltdown and I proved Scott Stone wrong two months ago when I smacked his ass around and beat him 1-2-3. So they keep running their mouths......but two guys keep testing me. First, there's Evan Hooked on Phonics" Levine, who is another schmuck that will NEVER win the World Title. Instead of telling the tale, let me show you the footage of the beginning of Meltdown......

(Scene cuts to the Tit-ron.)



Evan: Most of you people....right now are IM willing to bet waiting to hear me break under the pressure of another stable....but to my delight...THATS JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

[Fans boo]

Evan: You see...the truth of the matter is I could give a damn about what Psycho Jay does.... or even tries to do....Why you ask? Well....ill tell you why! Because everything Jay has done as ended in failure!! This small
little stable of degenerates has nothing on CP....unlike them...we are the hart and soul of this decrepit federation!!!

[Fans boo]

Evan: And to prove my point, I have decided......to show not only the boys in the back....BUT THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! That no matter how hard Jay tries...no matter how much he works at it...THAT BELT WILL COME BACK TO ME!!! I mean US!!!!!

[ Fans start an asshole chant]

Evan: Now......before I get back to my point....IM going to address something! And that Something being.....Nick.....IM a hairy ass... Fat woman loven....fake god worshiping Kostos

[People give major heat]

Evan: Nick....I don't know if you have noticed at all or not.....BUT NO ONE GIVES A DAMN WHAT YOUR THE FORMER PREZ OF!!!! But what they do care about is my response to your dumb.... and harrable comments to me!!! You want me at Fear the Darkness? You want to face the IWO LEGEND!!!!! You want to step in the ring with a man that hasn't been defeated since the days of Dane Wilt? You want it.....YOU GOT IT!!!

[FANS GO NUTS!!!!]

MR: OH MY GOD!!! EVAN IS GOING TO FACE NICK!!!!

Evan: You see Nick.... IT doesn't matter that I haven't bin in the ring in over 2 months...it doesn't matter that LiGiL is going to beat you tonight.....what matters is...At Fear The Darkness.....YOUR ASS IS MINE!!!!

[Fans Boo]

[All of a sudden "Divine" by KoRn plays as the fans go nuts!!! They all get to there feet as the IWO world champ Psycho Jay walks out alone!!! He makes his way to the ring]

MR: THE WORLD CHAMP!!

JS: Watch your head Evan!!!

AK: I hope Evan has protection!

Psycho Jay: Hey poop head!!! You know...its nice that you want to talk about your love for Nick....but before you started to go on....and on....and on....and on....and on...about Nick....you said that you were going to show
the whole world that CP is better then COP!!! So.....IM going to ask you this once...Dude....WHATS THE DEAL!

[Fans laugh]

Evan: I'll tell you what the deal is....The Deal is next week in this very ring!! YOU....ME....YOUR STABLE....MY STABLE!!! IN A STABLE WAR!!!

[THE FANS GO NUTS]

MR: A STABLE WAR HERE TONIGHT!!!

Psycho Jay: You want a stable war....YOU GOT IT!!! But theres just one thing.....what the hell is that on your shirt!

Evan: Huh (Evan looks down) IM not wearing a sh............

[Jay nails Evan in the stomic as the fans go nuts!!! Jay looks out to the fans has he looks to hump the head of Evan Levine one more time!!! As Evan grabs Evan and the fans are going nuts.....Tony Davis comes out from
under the ring and gets in right behind Psycho Jay and nails him with a Hammer over the head....Jay falls hard as Evan falls back!!! Tony laughs as he picks Jay up and............The Equalizer!!!!!]

MR: MY GOD!!! Tony Davis is taking apart the world champ!!!

[Tony Picks up Jay as Evan gets to his feet...he looks around and..]

JS AAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Evan Levine is humping the head of Psychp Jay!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I hope Jay has protection!!!! HAHAHAHA

[The fans boo as Evan stops and pushes Jay to the ground!]

MR: Fans...Tony Davis and Evan Levine have taken the world champ down!!!

AK: Why isn't COP coming out to help him?

[The scene cuts to the back were we see CP and COP fighting it out!!!!]

JS: That's why!!! Evan had the rest of CP wait for COP!!! IT WAS A TRAP!!!!

[The fans start to toss trash in the ring as Evan grabs the mic one last time]

Evan: See Jay....this is why I am better then you!!! This is why I..i mean CP will have that world title soon....Because your simply put...DUMB!!!

[All of a sudden "Sober" By Tool starts to play as the fans go nuts!!! Then from out of the crowed comes Phelen Kell!!! He jumps in the ring and is met by Tony Davis!!! Kell right away takes Davis out with a left a right
and a DDT!!!! Kell looks over to Evan and points at him!!]

MR: KELL HAS EVAN RIGHT WERE HE WANTS HIM!!!!

[Kell walks over to Evan and grabs him by the neck as the fans are going nuts...Then all of a sudden a Bear man jumps the railing and gets into the ring!]

JS: Someone order a bear?

MR: That's one dark looking Bear man.....why is he dressed all in.....THATS AL COHOLIC!!!!!

[Al drops the container and takes a bear bottle out and taps Phelen Kell!! Kell turns around AL BREAKS IT OVER HIS HEAD KNOCKING HIM OUT!!!!]

MR: OH MY GOD!!!

[Evan stand back up and tells Al to put him in the Bitter Bear Face!!!!]

JS: YES!!!! AL HAS KELL IN THE BITTER BEAR FACE!!!!.....



(Scene cuts back to Psycho Jay in the ring.)

Psycho Jay: Ok, first let's forget about trying to figure out what the fuck a Bitter BEAR Face is. But there's a few things I have a problem with in that segment. First off, Levine makes a stable war match with his butt buddy
for life COMMISH Evan.....now this is unacceptable because that group of no-name shit for brains pricks are no where near in The Children of the Porn's league. Second, Levine humping my head......Evan, I know you can't
think of anything origional to do, which is obvious by your horrible Jay and Silent Bob promos, but you know that head humping is MY SPECIALTY. You think because I've humped your head 6 thousand times that you picked up some technique? NO! You didn't. If you can't hump a head right, then don't do it at all! Or buy my Head Humping Kit available in the IWO Catalog! But anyway, Levine if your trying to get a shot at my belt then keep trying, because the closest your gonna come to being World Champion is winning a spelling bee against a bunch of 4 year old retarded kids, which would be a tough challenge for you and your penis liking self. FINALLY, I have a problem with the worst stable idea having dickhead Tony Davis. Yoyr still
bitter about that lame ass stable Kilroy and how I fucked you over right? You're still a bit ticked about me humping your head? GOOD. You suck wee wee. You still angry about me beating you a long time ago? Well I'm
gonna give you one more thing to be bitter about Davis you stupid son of a bitch. You can be bitter at the world after your laying on your back at the end of Fear The Darkness thinking "I just blew my shot at winning the IWO World Title"!

JT: Is he saying what I think he's saying?

GP: I think so!

Psycho Jay: That's right for all of you brain dead illiterate hillbilies and Davis......I'm giving Nad Boy himself a World Title shot at Fear The Darkness! So Ballface, come out and accept before I come back there and beat
you within an inch of your poo-eating life.

("Degenerate" by Blink 182 blasts as Tony Davis steps onto the ramp.)

Tony Davis: Jay, you know I've been waiting for this a very long time. And I'm sick of seeing you with that belt. It's time for another title reign for me, and another loss for you.

Psycho Jay: Ummmm, that was lame.

Tony Davis: The voices made me say it.

Psycho Jay: Fine, well POO ON YOU!

(Suddenly "We are the Nation" plays as the Central Powers walk out looking confused about the music.)

Evan Levine: What the hell!

Psycho Jay: It's amazing what giving the sound guys a 100 bucks can do! HAHA!

Evan Levine: Really funny Jay, but not as funny as me humping your head on Meltdown!

Psycho Jay: True, but you know what's even more funny?

Evan Levine: What?

Psycho Jay: Well.......

(Suddenly the Children of the Porn rush out of the back and attack the Central Powers! AWS Man(also known as Bill), Schitzo Tod, Andrew, Nick Kostos, Vincent, Seth Weiland, and Rob Kestler begin pounding on the CP.
Davidson and Jesus Christ just watch.)

GP: Dear God all hell has broken lose! Jay runs down and dives onto the pile and right onto Tony Davis! Nick Kostos is going shot for shot with Evan Levine! Vincent just whacked Scott Stone in the eye with his massive
penis!

JT: Is that a black ninja stealth assassin?

Nikki: It is, and he has a sword!

GP: He's trying to kill Tyler Johnson off on his final card! Davidson superkicks the ninja in the face!

JT: He saved Tyler Johnson's life!

Nikki: Here comes security now to break this up. This is insane!

GP: The groups are seperated and.....hold on a second.....it's Creative Team member My Dick on the Tit-ron!

My Dick: Hey, stop fighting like school girls will ya? This is My Dick here and I have a few minor announements to make. I just got out of talks with President Jewmie.....er Jamie Kosoy and he granted me the power to.................suspense is killing you right.........BOOK MATCHES! That's right, although Commish Tom has most of the authority over this show.......I will be booking the matches and laying down the law! So none of
you should be sucking up to the Executive Board anymore......you should be sucking up to MY DICK! HAHAHA, get it? Good! And another thing......this big screen you see me on now? It is being re-named......The IWO DICK-A-TRON! Don't like it? TOUGH SHIT! HAHAHAHA!

(The Dick-a-Tron fades.)

GP: We're gonna have a great night for you folks! My Dick booking matches! The Central Powers and Children of the Porn are at each other's throats! We'll be back after this commercial break!



(Scene fades into the Winds of Change locker room, Joey Malone and Daniel Phillips are recieving head from porn stars. Malone has Asia Carrera and Phillips has Silvia Saint.)

Joey Malone: I don't care what anybody says......sucking up to My Dick is COMPLETELY WORTH IT!

Daniel Phillips: No shit! My Dick rules!

(The scene fades back to the announcers table as The WOC continue recieving head.)

JT: How many damn segments are we gonna have before the first match! START THE FUCKING SHOW!

GP: Good idea JT, let's get this show started! What should be first is --

(On the IWO Dick-A-Tron a car drives by, on some street far off from where we expect to be. The sound of it's tires slowly rolling through the cold and shallow puddles of water fill our ears. As the car disappears, we find
Sam Potright, the man that has held more possessed times, more rage, more internal destruction than any other... sitting against the front of an old, abandoned pawn shop, the black bars still on the windows to prevent
theft from happening. The door, however, has been snapped open and torn apart, leading us to believe that yes, someone has managed to find a way in. Potright is clad in the normal clothes of a normal person, only... not. He is
almost impossible to see in the dark of the night, with only his arms, head, and neck visible from what is viewable. Potright also has his head down a little bit, as if in prayer... he looks up.)

Sam Potright: "We compound our suffering by victimizing each other." It was Athol Fugard who first spoke those words... and they strike true to everyone on this simple little planet with the blue oceans and the green ground.
We compound our suffering by the simple act of victimization... but our suffering can get so intense that feeling it is nothing more than a dull point of notice to anyone. I am far beyond that -- I am numb to my compounded suffering. I can, I do victimize. I partake an enjoyment in it that is beyond what is expected... what is wanted. I can love -- I love my wife, I love myself, but I do not extend far beyond that. Trust is a bond which is as thin as a hair. Lies are what make us mad, yet make us human. The human race has parasites, but we are parasites ourselves. We are merely parasites that suck away our own lives for nothing. But there are some... that suck away other's
lives. They do it for enjoyment... and I am one of those such people. My newest victim, the one whose suffering will be compounded as he is victimized... is the Hardcore Isosceles Trapezoid. He wants something of mine... something that has become a harbinger of light in my world of darkness. He wants it... I have it... but giving it up is not what I foresee. It is not what I want to speak of. It is not what I think, not what I breathe, not what I grasp... a grasp victory. I grasp my own destiny and turn it to my own.

(Potright hides his head with his arms and hands for a second... when he returns, nothing seems different, yet something does. His eyes... are more intense. They are more etched with the hidden pain that each of us
suffers in our waking lives, our robotic routines.)

Lunatic Pandora: ... Meet me at the crossroads, and I will open the doors... you will always be my whore... you will be a mother to my child, and a child to my heart... it's unusual that I am considered a mocking life. A mocking
person, a mocking of the art of the human life. I laugh at that, for it is not true; I am simply those primal instincts personified. If you do not know me, then you do in your sleep. And I have a foreseen future, and a blinding
past... a scathing present is something of my bidding. HIT, you feel pain everyday... but you do not feel the tearing and burning agony of suffering. You are a simple person, wounded as the rest of us... wounded as the
rest of the world. Wounded as I am. Not in the same way, but you are just as wounded. You have secrets that cannot be revealed... and I have a secret, too. A secret that should be revealed.

(From an alleyway located next to him, out steps Donnie Daze, clad in the clothing he wore when he was captured.)

Pandora: This is only part of my secret... and the other half is around the corner.

(On cue, out steps Mike Extreme from behind the corner of this pawn shop, clad in as much black as Potright/Pandora.)

Pandora: IWO... you have discovered a tiny little secret that will explode into a bevy of destruction. You have stumbled upon something different, something almost unstoppable... we are the misunderstood. No one listens to
us. No one hears our cries of pain, except for each other. The three of us, combined, are a family... The Misunderstood Family. Donnie Daze has felt the agony of suffering, the moment he was stabbed heartlessly in the back by Psycho Jay. He is now a man with a vengeful mind... we know that such things are dangerous. Donnie Daze is no longer a wrestler... he is a vigilante. He is a man that will allow his possessed anger to take hold and rip apart any and every thing in his path. Mike Extreme has gone missing for several weeks... now he is back. His reasoning is irrevelant... he has filled his mind with the truth, and it has created a new him... a different him...
the Mike Extreme that was formerly the Extreme champion, is gone and burned at a stake in the soul of Mike here. All he sees now are people that are a fucking reminder of what he used to be... what he never needed to be. Mike
Extreme is himself. If you did not understand me beforehand... we are The Misunderstood Family. Those people that the IWO does not want to rise up, because of the deep fright that they harbor against those that do not "fit in". Only the misunderstood understand each other... and only the misunderstood can be a family. Only us... and anyone that we can find with our philosiphies... with our state of mind... IWO... Children Of The Porn... we may be small, but the hardest things to destroy are quite often the smallest. Psycho Jay... Nick Kostos... Team Tampax... Chris Davidson and Rob Kestler... AWS Man... Seth Weiland... even you, Jesus Christ... the man that is not our savior, the man that is a big lie to the world... each and every one of you... cannot claim to be a family. You cannot claim to truly understand each other... but we can... and we will find your deepest and darkest secrets, and expose
them.

("Fear" by Disturbed plays over the speakers in the arena as the scene fades to black, and up comes the logo of The Misunderstood Family.)

JT: What on earth did he just say?

GP: I'm not exactly sure, but it seems as if there is yet another new alliance forming in the IWO called the Misunderstood Family!

Nikki: Mike Extreme, Samuel Potright and Donnie Daze....that seems like a pretty good team.

JT: Yeah with the exception of Daze!

Nikki: He's cute!

JT: You only say that because you're a horny slut!

*SMACK*

GP: Stop with the damn bickering, we'll take another commercial break and be back with Donnie Daze vs. Rob Riot.....NO DISQUALIFICATION! NEXT!



{Rob Riots music hits as the crowd gives a small pop. Riot, who is nursing his injured hamstring, slowly makes his way down to the ring.}

GP: This is our first match of the night!

JT: And it's gona be a doozie!

Nikki: Doozie?

JT: Yeah, a doozie. And if you have a problem with that, you can just kiss my ass!

Nikki: No, I don't want to kiss your ass JT...

GP: Keep in mind, folks. This match is a no DQ. Anything goes. And Donnie Daze, who was forced by My Dick to wrestle twice tonight, might do anything to get by this match.

JT: Well, we all know that Daze has been trapped in a dumpster for the past few days, so he's probably goign to be a little tense.

{Donnie Daze's music starts up as the crowd begins to boo. Donnie Daze steps through the curtains, onto the ram head. He walks down into the ring, and the two men start brawling.}

***DING DING DING***

GP: Donnie Daze, startig off strong, with several punches to the gut of Rob Riot.

JT: Ya know Nikki, I was thinking... After tonight's match we can head back to my place...

Nikki: Thanks for the offer, but tonight I'm leaving with a real man.

GP: DDT by Daze, and he's heading our way.

Nikki: Daze is getting the RA's chair, and he's now back in the ring!

JT: Come on Nikki! I'll do ya real good!

GP: Oh! Chair shot to the head of Rob Riot!

Nikki: No JT...

GP: Now, Donnie Daze, is focusing in on Riot's injured hamstring! He's jabbing it with the chair!

JT: Ouch! Riot should have waited to make his return...

GP: Now Donnie Daze picking up Riot, and a Dazed and Confused! Dazed and Confused by Donnie Daze!

JT: Yes!

Nikki: He could have had the pin there! But instead he's... Getting more weapons?

GP: OH MY! Donnie Daze with some sort of bat wraped in barbed wire! He nailing Rob Riot with it!

JT: HaHa!

Nikki: Another Dazed and Confused! And he just rolled up Riot for the cover!

GP: 1... 2... 3! Donnie Daze has defeated Rob Riot!

{Donnie Daze's music hits as Daze continues to pound on Riot. The officials then come out to get Donnie Daze off of the injured Riot.}

GP: Daze is a maniac. His new alliance with the Misunderstood Family has changed him drastically! We'll be back right after this!

{The scene fades into Children of the Porn's locker room. There is a knock at the door. And Andrew (Who is serving as the CotP man-servant) goes to answer it. He opens the door to find the Prime Time Soldiers.}

Scott Stone: We have to speak with the KKK, it's urgent.

Andrew: Well, I'm sorry guys... Rob Kestler and Schitzo Tod are busy right now.

Tyler Johnson: Busy? Doing what?

{Andrew looks over at Rob to find that they are playing that cherry picking game.}

Andrew: They are in the middle of an important meeting. So... Scram!

Scott Stone: Look, we're here to spend money, and money talks bitch!

Andrew: (sighs) Fine... This way...

{Andrew walks both men over to Rob Kestler and Schitzo Tod, the Krazy Kow Klan.}

Andrew: These men want to talk to you...

{Andrew walks off. Rob Kestler looks up at Stone and Johnson.}

Rob Kestler: What do you boys want? Next Game?

Schitzo Tod: Well, you can't have next game! :-P

Scott Stone: No, we are here to buy protection.

Rob Kestler: Protection? What kind of a silly word is that?

Scott Stone: Look, my boy Ty here, this is his last night in the IWO.

Tyler Johnson: And you both know what happens to someone on thier last night at the IWO...

Schitzo Tod: They get cupcakes?

Scott Stone: No! They get killed off! Those big wigs in the back feel they need to kill guys off on their last night!

Rob Kestler: You mean... You won't get cupcakes?

Tyler Johnson: No... No cupcakes...

Schitzo Tod: Well, I'm sorry for you then. But hey, Rob, you know what that means?

Rob Kestler: More cupcakes for us!

Schitzo Tod: Yeah!

Scott Stone: (sighs) Look, we are here for protection. You guys are the Krazy Kow Klan, protecters of rape, murder, and parrot theft, right?

Schitzo Tod: True...

Tyler Johnson: And you protect people for money... Right?

Rob Kestler: Yeah...

Scott Stone: Well, we've got money to spend!

Tyler Johnson: Now... Lets talk business...

{The scene fades as The four men talk "business" (But Rob and Tod are actually thinking about cupcakes.)}



GP:This match will be a treat, two of the more hated talents here in the IWO will go one on one.

JT:Hated? That's a little light wording there Greg. They are dispised by the fans, and hell, even the
wrestlers can't stand to watch either man's interview.

Nikki:Both men have seemed to be more active as of late, so only time will tell us where this will take us.

GP:Let's just head right to the ring...

(The camera fades into the ring, as Meygon stands carrying both a microphone and the Women's Championship.)

Meygon:This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, he is the current Atlantic Champion, and a former IML2 World Champion, here is Shawn Arrows!

("Iron Maiden" by Black Sabbath plays as Shawn Arrows walks out from the back. Carlos Lopez follows him out, trying to talk reason to him, as Samatha Arrows dangles on his arm.)

GP:Well, Shawn hasn't been the same ever since he got hit in the head and was tied up to a tree last monday.

JT:Yeah, you get tied to a tree and hit over the head repeatedly and YOU be the same.

Meygon:And his opponent...

("In Vein" by The Haunted starts up as the Mike Extreme eerily walks out from the back. The fans don't really know how to react to Extreme, as he climbs into the ring.)

GP:And talk about taking a turn for the worse!

JT:GREG PARKER! I CONDEM YOU!

GP:What?

JT:How can you say that?

GP:He looks like a freaking hobo JT.

JT:How do you know his sexual preference!

Nikki:Huh?

JT:Stay out of this Nikki...

GP:Hobo.. not homo.

JT:Oh.... still....this new Misunderstood Family should be called the misunderstood homeless wastes of society!

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:And here we go. Arrows and Extreme are circling, but Arrows looks out to Lopez. Extreme catches Arrows with a vicious right hand.

JT:Extreme is just hammering Arrows down into the corner, and Arrows probably doesn't even realize what's going on. Extreme almost caught the referee!

Nikki:Arrows with a shoulder tackle takes down Extreme, as Arrows raises his hands to the crowd.

GP:Extreme back to his feet as he turns Arrows around, and clotheslines him up and out of the ring!

JT:Extreme slides out himself, and grabs Arrows, tossing him headfirst into the steel guardrail.

Nikki:Arrows is being dominated right now. More shots to his head too, Extreme working him over.

JT:You know what's a good movie... Friends... I musta seen that show three times!

GP:First off, Friends is a television show, second you got that from the Simpsons...

JT:Two good points...

Nikki:Extreme working over Arrows, Extreme grabs the ringbell...

(Extreme rears back to swing, but the referee grabs it out of Extreme's hands. The Ref begins to jaw jack with Extreme, however Extreme doesn't seem to care.)

GP:Arrows catches Extreme and throws him back into the ring!

JT:Arrows slides in as well, as he grabs Extreme, and tosses him off the ropes. Extreme comes back as Arrows catches him in a back body drop...

Nikki:Isn't that the first step to the Arrow Shot DDT?

JT:How should I know...

GP:JT! Well, whatever the case, Arrows hasn't even tried the Arrow Shot DDT as of yet.

Nikki:Arrows has Extreme and is backing him into the corner, vicious chops... Extreme turns Arrows around and begins to chop Arrows!

GP:Extreme whips Arrows out of the corner, Arrows catches is sternum first but backs off, turns around
and catches Extreme with a massive clothesline.

JT:Arrows is now ripping the tattored and torn shirt of Mike Extreme off. Arrows is now whipping Extreme!

Nikki:But Extreme catches Arrows with an eye gouge! Extreme grabs the shirt and begins to choke Arrows with it!

(The referee levies his normal five count, at which Extreme doesn't give up. He finally relinquishes it at about seven.)

GP:Look at Extreme! No regard for the law!

JT:He's trying to be a rebel...

(JT Laughs hysterically.)

GP:Extreme tosses Arrows off the ropes, and chokes Arrows down to the mat with the shirt! Arrows neck must be on fire.

(We zoom in on Arrows, who's neck is blood red.)

Nikki:That's a view you don't want to see... Much like JT's face.

(This comment makes Greg Parker begin to laugh uncontrollably.)

JT:I hate you guys...

GP:Arrows is looking around, what in god's name! He should be concentrating on embarassing Extreme!

Nikki:Extreme catches Arrows with a low blow, don't ask me why Extreme let Arrows to his feet, but Extreme hooks him in a reverse inverted headlock. He's just wrenching in on Arrow's back!

GP:But Arrows kicks out his feet and grabs the bottom rope. Extreme again not releasing the hold up until the last minute!

(Extreme is now shown staring down the referee, who is backing up into the corner. Arrows has gotten to his feet.)

GP:Arrows is up! Arrows grabs Extreme from behind, pump handle suplex! Pump Handle!

JT:It's a freakin' pump handle Greg, live a little!

Nikki:Look at Arrows, he is just hammering away at Extreme. Something just ticked! Lop on the outside going for something.

(Lopez is shown having some kind of pipe in his hand. Arrows whips Extreme into the ropes as Lopez catches him in the back of the head with the said pipe.)

GP:LOPEZ JUST GOT IN A CHEAP SHOT! ARROWS TURNS IT RIGHT INTO THE ARROW SHOT DDT! NO! NO!

Nikki: The ref is refusing to count. He's yelling at Lopez to go to the back!

GP: The referee must have seen the cheap shot from Lopez!

JT: Finally a ref actually sees something wrong and it's in a match that doesn't matter!

GP: Now Arrows is trying to tell the ref to......

JT: He's telling the ref to I qoute "ooo, get your head out of your ass"!

GP: Extreme is up now! He spins Arrows around......FATE OF THE DAMNED(sit down rock bottom)!!! Extreme covers, 1..............................2......................................THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

JT:It's over! Finally!

Nikki:Mike Extreme just defeated Shawn Arrows with Carlos Lopez's help backfiring in the end!

Meygon:Your winner, MIKE EXTREME!

(The scene opens up to The Children of the Porn's locker room where Tyler Johnson and Scott Stone are just leaving.)

Scott Stone: Man, I hope those guys know what they're doing.

Tyler Johnson: You hope? Damn nigga this is my last match in the IWO and I have a bounty on my head. That damn ninja already tried to take me out boy.

Scott Stone: I know man, just be cool, the KKK will take care of you.

Tyler Johnson: Since when has the KKK ever helped out a black man! We just wasted our money.

Scott Stone: Well look, if you do end up gettin killed then I'll get my money back aight?

Tyler Johnson: Wow, what a consolation.

(From behind Johnson and Stone you can see a man with war paint on his face and a tomahawk sneaking up on Tyler Johnson. Just as he is about to strike, the COTP door opens and smacks him in the face!)

Stone and Johnson: SHIT!

Schitzo Tod: No, that's Schitzo Tod.

Tyler Johnson: Nah man, ya'll just saved my ass.

Schitzo Tod: I did?.......I mean, I DID. Just doing my job guys. I have a sixth sense about those kind of things.......and about figuring out who is an ass spelunker and who's not.

Scott Stone: Whatever man, just keep watching Ty's back ok?

Schitzo Tod: Okie Dokie Pokie.

(Tyler and Scott walk away shaking their heads as Tod heads towards the bathroom to drop a log. The camera puts back to the announcer's table.)

GP: Tyler Johnson was once again saved from being killed. It looks like with the KKK, Rob Kestler and Schitzo Tod's protection, he may make it all night.

JT: I hope not, he sucks!

Nikki: I don't see the point in having people killed in their last match.

JT: Because it prevents the idiot from coming back! HAHA! If they really didn't wanna get killed then they could announce their retirement AFTER their match takes place and they are out of the arena, DUH.

GP: That is a good point......we'll be back right after this with the TV TITLE MATCH!



(The scene opens up to the Children of the Porn's locker room where everyone is sitting around, but Psycho Jay and AWS Man (also known as Bill) are recieving head. Jay from Stacy Valentine and AWS Man (also known as Bill) from Nikki Dial.)

Schitzo Tod: Hey, how come you two guys are the only ones getting head?

Cassie: Head is naughty and not silly at all.

Rob Kestler: Yeah, it is bad and I would never EVER want it, but just for the sake of knowledge how does one come about getting this "head"?

Seth Weiland: That's obvious man, Jay is always getting head from Stacy Valentine so that should be no suprise, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) did My Dick a favor and is being rewarded for it.

AWS Man (also known as Bill): Yeah, freakin sucking up to My Dick totally freakin rules! Oh freakin baby.

Vincent: WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? FUCKING MY DICK BRIBING FUCKERS WITH HIS FUCKING PORNOGRAPHIC INDUSTRY FUCKING PULL AND MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.

Schitzo Tod: Yeah, what gives, what do I have to do in order to get head.

Psycho Jay: You can just ask me, I'll hook you up. Ask AWS Man (also known as Bill), the head I owed him he got earlier from Jenna Jameson, then he did a favor for My Dick and is getting head for that too.

Schitzo Tod: Cool!

AWS Man (also known as Bill): Oh freakin freak! Wooow freak! What's that freakin pain.....AHHHHHHHHH FREAK!

Chris Davidson: What happened child?

AWS Man (also known as Bill): I THINK I FREAKIN PULLED MY HEAD MUSCLE WHILE GETTING FREAKING HEAD! WHAT THE FREAK!

(AWS Man (also known as Bill) runs out of the room screaming and holding his crotch.)

Psycho Jay: Too much head for the beginner...sad.

Schitzo Tod:Jay can I have head from a porn star?

Psycho Jay: Yeah sure, but first you have to go fight your match with Vincent.

Schitzo Tod: Vincent? But we're friends, partners, compadres, we still have to fight?

(Jay points at Vincent, who has his massive immeasurable penis whipped out and is slapping it in his palm menacingly. Schitzo Tod gulps as the camera fades back to the announcers table.)

GP: Well folks apparently Schitzo Tod didn't think he was gonna have to face Vincent tonight, but now along with Donnie Daze.....Tod will fight in two matches.

JT: I feel bad for Tod, Vincent looked all business just now.

Nikki: Me too, I wouldn't wanna be in his place.

JT: Yeah you would, you'd do anything to get near a big penis that's why you sit next to me all the time and not Parker.

*SMACK*

GP: I am slightly offended by that. Let's just head to the ring announcer for the announcements.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the IWO TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, standing at 6'4" and weighing in at 296 pounds, here is...........VINCENT!

("Twist" by Korn blasts as Vincent storms out from the back with his massive penis draped over his shoulder. He gets into the ring and begins cursing.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, he is the IWO TELEVISION CHAMPION.....standing at 6'1" and weighing in at 215 pounds.......here is..........SCHITZO TOD!!!!!!!!!

("Date Rape" by Sublime blasts as Tod slowly walks down to the ring.)

GP: We're ready to get started folks as Tod tries to get in the ring Vincent swings his penis at him!

JT: Greg, are we gay because we watch a 6'4" man swinging around a penis so large it cannot be measured?

GP: Not because of him being 6'4"man, but maybe because we are looking at his penis.

JT: That was a rhetorical question Parker, speak for yourself!

GP: Now Tod rolls under the ropes and ducks Vincent's swinging penis. Tod takes Vincent down with a legsweep. Vincent springs to his feet by using his penis and levels Tod with a clothesline!

Nikki: He actually used his arm for a move!

JT: Vincent is very talented.

GP: You're telling me he just lifted Tod over his head with a COCK PRESS SLAM! That was like a 20....30....immeasurable drop to the canvas!

JT: Tod looks to be in pain now and Vincent grabs him by the throat!

GP: COCKSLAM! COCKSLAM BY VINCENT......OR HIS MANHOOD!

Nikki: Why is Vincent in this match anyway? He's a manager?

GP: Well there is kind of a lack of competition in the TV division since the announcement that it will be defended at every card. Now Vincent whips Tod to the ropes and goes for a COCKLINE, but God ducks it and comes back
with a flying cross body press! He hooks the leg, 1................2...............KICKOUT by Vincent! Now Tod picks
Vincent up and sends him to the ropes......DROPKICK!

JT: Nooo! Vincent's penis just got tangled in the ropes!

GP: Tod is kicking away at Vincent's ribs while the large penised one struggles to get free and curses loudly!

Nikki: He's not saying too nice things.

JT: You wouldn't be either if your penis was stuck like that!

GP: I agree JT, now Vincent is finally free and he's pissed.......he charges at Tod who side steps Vincent and nails him with a running one handed bulldog! Tod is heading to the top ropes......he's calling for the POWERTOD(senton bomb)! HE'S........WAIT! IT'S ELIAN GONZALES! WHAT THE HELL!

Nikki: He just pushed Tod off the top ropes!

JT: Schitzo Tod just fell into the grasp of Vincent's immense cock!

GP: COCK BOTTOM! VINCENT JUST PLANTED TOD WITH THE COCK BOTTOM! NOW VINCENT WHIPS OFF HIS PENIS PAD AND THROWS IT TO THE CROWD! SWINGS HIS DONG AROUND HIS HEAD, BOUNCES OFF ONE ROPE, BOUNCES OFF THE OTHER AND DROPS THE PEOPLE'S COCK ACROSS TOD'S CHEST! VINCENT COVERS, 1..................2....................THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

JT: Vincent is the TV champion!

Nikki: Thanks to Elian Gonzales?!?

GP: Now Elian Gonzales is jumping up and down in the ring and throwing Taco's in the crowd!

JT: The Cuban announcer's table is going berzerk for him!

Nikki: Isn't he Rob Kestler's adopted child?

GP: Good memory Nikki, I believe he still is.

JT: Then why the hell is he out here helping Vincent and screwing Tod?

GP: I don't know but Vincent doesn't seem too happy. Elian just bumped into him.....VINCENT PICKS HIM UP AND NAILS HIM WITH THE DICKINATOR(dominator)!!! ELIAN IS DESTROYED! NOW VINCENT IS APPLYING THE FIGURE COCK LEG LOCK!!!!

JT: Haha, he's breaking his legs! GREAT!

Nikki: That poor child!

JT: That's what he gets for wasting all that valuable news time!

GP: Now Vincent picks poor Elian up......PENIS DRIVER(piledriver)! DEAR LORD ELIAN'S NECK IS BROKEN!

JT: How can you tell?

GP: BECAUSE HIS SPINAL CORD IS STICKING OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! CUT AWAY! CUT AWAY!

JT: No! BLOOD AND GORE! BLOOD AND GORE!

Nikki: That is disgusting, I think I may puke.

GP: Now there are EMT's out to clean things up. Folks we are sorry for this, it is really disgusting.

JT: No it's awesome!

GP: Please ignore this buffoon. We'll be back after this break and we get things cleaned up.



(The scene opens up to the Prime Time Soldiers walking down the hallway. Suddenly Rob Kestler yells out from down the hallway...)

Rob Kestler: Hey! Did you get your cupcakes yet?

Scott Stone: He's not getting cupcakes you idiot!

(Kestler makes a sad puppy dog face.)

Scott Stone: That's why I beat you on Meltdown wussy boy, making you my 5th former world champion defeated.

Tyler Johnson: Yo man, don't dis my protection, we still gotta get through our match and get me outta the arena.

Scott Stone: Ok.

Rob Kestler: Hey Scott pooface Stone, your shoes are untied.....so are yours Tyler.

(Both men look down and to their suprise........their shoes are actually untied. As soon as Tyler bends over to tie his shoes a gun goes off and puts a hole in the wall right where Tyler's head was. You can see a man with a
bazooka run around the corner.)

Tyler Johnson: DAAAAMN! A BAZOOKA! Why don't they just nuke my ass and get it over with!

Scott Stone: I hate to say it man, but Kestler saved you again.

Tyler Johnson: Thanks Rob.

Rob Kestler: Derp? Let me know when you get your cupcakes, I got first dibs on the chocolate cream filled!

Scott Stone: Come on dog, let's just go get this thing over with and whoop Winds of Change like they were an ex IWO champion.

(Johnson and Stone walk away cautiously as the camera fades back to the announcers.)


{"It's raining Men" Starts to play as the crowd begins to laugh. Yes... The Prime Time Soldiers, with the KKK are making their way to the ring.}

GP: Well, here comes the Prime Time Soldiers, who bought protection from Rob Kestler and Schitzo Tod.

JT: They don't need protection! They are the Prime Time Soldiers!

Nikki: Yes JT, but this is Tyler Johnson's last match in the IWO. Usually people get killed off in their last match.

GP: Nikki's right. Remember all those people that have been killed in the past?

JT: Well, yeah.

GP: Tyler Johnson doesn't want to take that chance.

JT: But Evan would help out Tyler!

Nikki: Whatever JT...

{PTS gets int the ring, while Kestler and Tod stand at ringside. Stone starts yelling at the KKK for playin "It's Raining Men" Instead of the regular theme.}

GP: Haha

{Suddenly 'Whipping Post' by The Allman Brothers Band starts up as the crowd goes wild. Joey Malone, Janitors 7 and 11, and Daniel Phillips step through the curtain and make their way towards the ring.}

GP: Here they are! The IC Tag Champs! The Winds Of Change!

JT: Bah!

Nikki: They are also bringing two of the Janitor Squad with them.

GP: WInds of Change, getting into the ring. And it looks like Joey Malon and Scott Stone will be starting.

**DING DING DING**

GP: Malone and Stone lock up, Malone with a reverse suplex to Scott Stone!

JT: No!

Nikki: The refs still up...

JT: Why is that a factor in the match?

Nikki: Remember last weeks alone match? As soon as the ref was knocked out, a bunch of crazy stuff happened!

GP: Malone, with the tag to Phillips, who starts off strong with several right hooks to the former IWO North American Champion.

JT: I guess you are Nikki. Last week Malone match was kind of odd...

Nikki: Well, lets just hope those feces throwing monkeys learned their lesson, that ring stunk!

GP:OH! And a takedown by Scott Stone! Stone with the tag to Tyler Johnson, now the doubleteam.

JT: Wait a second! Malone just took out the ref!

Nikki: The ref's down!

JT: ANd... The Janitors are in the ring! They are dancing!

Nikki: Stone and Johnson want to take those Janitors out!

JT: Oh my god! They just exploded! Those weren't the real janitors!

GP: Scott Stone was ab;e to get Tyler Johnson down in time, but if he hadn't of... Tyler Johnson woul have been killed!

JT: Damnit! The Krazy Kows need to do their job!

{The camera pans over to Rob Kestler and Schitzo Tod, who are playing patickae.}

Rob Kestler: Did you hear soemthing?

Schitzo Tod: Nope.

JT: Those idiots!

GP: Well, all four men are now brawling in the ring.

Nikki: JT, did you see that? AN attempt was made on Tyler Johnson's life!

JT: Luckily for Ty, Scott was able to get him down.

"Warble! Warble!"

GP: What the... God no! It's those damn feces throwing, flying monkeys again! They are attacking all four contestants! Somebody call animal control!

Nikki: Take cover!

JT: Ahh! Damn Monkey crap!

GP: Of all the! Shit! My coat is covered with all this poop!

Japanese Child (badly re-dubbed): PleasehelpusdefetethisevilmonsterSenshihan!

Voice: Senshihan is DEAD! MWAHAHA!

Japanese Child (badly re-dubbed): Ohno...

GP: This is insane!

VOICE: Come back my pets... We have done enough damage for tonight. MWAHAHA!

GP: They're leaveing! The flying monkeys that throw feces are leaving!

JT: The ref is up!

GP: Form Shifter by the Winds Of Change! And the cover! 1.. 2.. 3!! They've done it!

JT: ANd Tyler Johnson is still alive!

{The arena goes dark.}

Scary Voice: Hello Tyler Johnson... Do you like scary movies!

{The lights return on. And the KKK and Prime Time Soldiers are running up the ramp. The scene then fades into the backstage area. Where the four men are.}

Schitzo Tod: Just as we feared.

Rob Kestler: We must all split up. Tod and I will go back to our locker room. And you two will have to separate.

Scott Stone: But... WOuldn't it be better to stay together?

Schitzo Tod: Silence infidel! We are the untrained professionals here... Not you!

Rob Kestler: Yeah... But Tod... The cupcakes!

Schitzo Tod: Ah yes... Fine, we'll all stay together!

Tyler Johnson: Look guys, I think it's best if I go home...

Schitzo Tod and Rob Kestler: NO!

Scott Stone: Why not? That's safe...

Schitzo Tod: Well... Um.. You see...

Rob Kestler: The killer is waiting for you!

Tyler Johnson: *gasp*

Schitzo Tod: Yes... So... Um... We must all go to the boiler room. It's safe there.

Scott Stone: Boiler room?

Rob Kestler: Yes... The boiler room...

{The four walk towards the boiler room as the scene fades to the boiler room.}

Scott Stone: Well?

{All of a sudden the Pillsbury Dow Boy (PDB) hops out of a boiler and begins too hup Tyler Johnson visciousley.}

Scott Stone: A... A trap!

{Scott Stone runs away as the PDB becomes one with Tyler Johnson, forming one big cupcake.}

Schitzo Tod: Now THAT'S a cupcake!

Rob Kestler: Shall we?

Schitzo Tod: We shall.

{The two start eating the cupcake that used to be Tyler Johnson.}

GP: Well folks, let's take a moment of silence for Tyler Johnson.......former IWO World Tag Team Champion.

JT: This is a sad day for wrestling.

Nikki: Yep.

GP: OK LET'S TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!



(Scene opens up to Commish Tom barging into My Dick's office.)

Commish Tom: Did you have Tyler Johnson killed?

My Dick: Me? Nooooooo.

Commish Tom: Yes you did!

My Dick: I distinctly saw the Pillsbury Dough Boy do it, take your frustrations out on him mister.

Commish Tom: Whatever, I'll be watching you, I know you did it.

My Dick: Ok, you may start your investigation tonight, have fun.

(The scene cuts back to the announcer's table.)

GP: And we're back!

JT: Yay!

Nikki: Woohoo!

GP: Yeah.

Nikki: It's time for a tag match...

GP: Haven't we seen this match before?

JT: Yeah! About two weeks ago on Takeover!

GP: Wow, that long?

JT: Yup.

Nikki: Let's, uhm, go to the ring announcer...

Ring Announcer: The following contest is a non-title tag match set for one fall... first...

("Dumpweed" by Blink 182 plays as Wesley Sanders and Donnie Daze come out to, wait for it... wait for it... a large chorus of boos! And not just that, they're getting trash thrown out at them. Whoo.)

Ring Announcer: First, from Port Saint Lucie, Florida, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is Donnie Daze! And his tag team partner, from Atlantic, Georgia, weighing in at 245 pounds... Wesley Sanders! They are PURE ATTITUDE!

JT: Whoopie. The most hated motherfuckers in the IWO today are here.

GP: Now JT! What did we talk about during the commerical?

JT: That I should be like Chris Davidson and be all cool and froody and stuff?

GP: Yeah.

JT: Fuck it.

Nikki: *sigh*...

(After Pure Attitude gets their weekly trash shower and enters the ring, the music stops...)

Ring Announcer: And their opponents!

(The crowd immediately pops, as the "Theme from Ranma ˝" plays...)

Ring Announcer: At a total combined weight of 449 pounds... they are the IWO World Tag Team Champions... and they represent Children of the Porn... they are AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Schitzo Tod... TEAAAAAMMMM TAMPAX!

(And the crowd pops louder, because they themselves have made their appearance. It should be noted that the Nude is not there. Pen is, of course, because Pen is the man.)

JT: Man, these guys are popular!

GP: I know!

Nikki: Fresh off the title victory last week, Team Tampax is looking to score their first successful win as a tag team since winning the titles. Albeit, we still don't know who they're facing at Fear the Darkness, one has to wonder who the number one contenders are right now.

(Team Tampax enters the ring, and eventually, the referee has Donnie Daze and Schitzo Tod start off...)

*ding, ding, ding*

GP: And Daze and Tod lock up in the center of the ring. Daze is a little stronger than Tod, so he backs him into the corner... will we get a clean break? Hell no!

JT: Daze is peppering Tod with right hands in the corner. Daze whips Tod into the corner, but Tod does a neat handstand on the top turnbuckle!

GP: I don't think Daze knew that Tod was going to do that. And Tod flips over Daze as he charges into the corner!

JT: Dropkick to Daze's knee!

Nikki: Kip-up!

GP: Dropkick to Daze's face!

JT: We need to come up with a name for that sequence.

GP: We should.

Nikki: Daze stumbles to his feet and runs at Tod, but Tod with a drop toe hold on Daze!

GP: Now Tod makes the tag to AWS Man (also known as Bill).

JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a dropkick that sends Daze into his corner! That wasn't smart...

Nikki: I think he knows what he's doing. Daze makes the tag to Sanders.

JT: Sanders rushes at AWS Man (also known as Bill), but gets caught with a clothesline!

GP: Sanders gets up, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) scoops him up and slams him to the canvas!

JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) with a legdrop to Sanders! He goes for the cover! One! Two! No!

Nikki: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) is measuring Sanders... he rushes, but Sanders catches him with a powerslam! Cover! One... two... no!

GP: I doubt you can do in the Insane One with a powerslam.

JT: Yeah.

Nikki: Sanders makes the tag to Donnie Daze, and Daze hops up to the top rope...

GP: Missile dropkick off the top on AWS Man (also known as Bill)! Daze goes for the cover! One... two... no! A kickout!

JT: Ha. Well, Daze is pissed off at that. And now he climbs to the top rope again... and catches AWS Man (also known as Bill), who was getting up, with a moonsault!

GP: Daze stays on the cover! One... two... No! Schitzo Tod made the save!

Nikki: The referee is ordering Tod back to his corner and... OH! A low blow to the Insane One from Daze!

JT: THAT will make you sane again...

GP: Yeah. The whole male division of our crowd felt that one!

JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is wincing in pain, and Daze makes the tag back to Wesley Sanders.

Nikki: Sanders whips the Insane One in, and Daze catches him with a spinning wheel kick!

JT: Now Sanders beats down on the Insane One with right hands!

GP: And now a rear chinlock!

JT: Impressive that Sanders is showing off his entire moveset.

Nikki: Hey! Sanders doesn't only do that!

JT: But still.

GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) fights out of the hold, and comes off the ropes! Sanders gets the knee up, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) flies over him and rolls him up! One... two... in the ropes!

JT: Sanders takes down the Insane One again, and makes the tag to Daze! Wait.....DAZE JUST SPIT BLOOD IN SANDERS' FACE!!!

Nikki: Ewwww, gross!!

GP: Daze is leaving Sanders! Wesley can't see with the blood in his eyes!

JT: Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) rolls to his corner and makes the tag to Schitzo Tod!

GP: Tod catches Sanders with a cross-body!

JT: Now Tod is just ramming his fists into Sanders's face!

GP: Tod runs into the ropes, and absolutely DESTROYS Sanders with a superkick!

JT: Now the Insane One catches Sanders with a short clothesline, and now Team Tampax head up to opposite turnbuckles!

Nikki: This could be...

JT: This might be...

GP: IT IS! THE MENSTRUAL FLOW(double shooting stars press)! THE MENSTRUAL FLOW TO WES SANDERS! TOD MAKES THE COVER! ONE... TWO...

JT: IT'S OVER!

GP: ...THREE!

*ding, ding, ding*

Ring Announcer: The winner of this match, TEAM TAMPAX!

JT: No! Pure Attitude lost!

("The Theme from Ranma ˝" plays as Team Tampax get their belts and celebrate. Suddenly, a bunch of janitors rush to the ring and start stomping the hell out of Wesley Sanders, who is currently flatter than a pancake thanks to the Menstrual Flow.)

JT: What the hell? Janitors?!

("The Theme from Ranma ˝" stops playing, only to be replaced with "Whipping Post" by the Allman Brothers Band.)

GP: It's the Winds of Change!

JT: Oh no. Not those losers...

(Malone has the stick.)

Joey Malone: Hey, guys... great win. How about a match? Right here, right now?

(Tod has the microphone.)

Schitzo Tod: Uhm, sure!

Malone: Great!

(The Winds of Change rush to the ring...)

GP: OH MY GOD! The Winds of Change and Team Tampax are brawling with one another!

*ding, ding, ding*

JT: Was that the BELL!?

GP: It was!

Nikki: I've just been informed that Commish Ford has made this match a non-title match!

GP: Oh, wow!

JT: Malone and Phillips have backed Team Tampax into opposite corners! They whip them in, no! Tod reverses Phillips, and THE INSANE ONE JUST MADE PHILLIPS DO A 360 MIDAIR FLIP WITH THAT CLOTHESLINE!

GP: Wicked.

Nikki: The referees have gotten Wesley Sanders out of the ring...

GP: Meanwhile, Team Tampax is dominating the Winds of Change in the ring!

JT: Tod sends Phillips into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker... wait, no, Phillips REVERSES INTO A BULLDOG!

GP: Wow. Cool move.

JT: Yeah, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) damn near took his head off with that thrust kick!

Nikki: Uhm, JT, that's why he calls that move "Knock Your Freakin' Head Off"...

JT: Oh.

GP: And Malone just caught AWS Man (also known as Bill) from behind with the New Arizona Heatwave(Tiger suplex-turned-sitout facebuster)!

Nikki: Wait! Who's walking down to ringside?!

GP: It's... it's... Thomas Welsk!

JT: Malone rolls to the outside, he has a chair!

GP: But Tod has recovered and he has Pen!

JT: PEN JUST BITCHSLAPPED PHILLIPS AND THE SAME TIME THAT AWS MAN (also known as Bill) TAKES A WICKED CHAIRSHOT FROM MALONE!

GP: The referee is calling for the bell!

*ding, ding, ding*

GP: I'm sure this is going to be a double disqualification...

JT: Thomas Welsk hits the ring and grabs the chair!

*SMACK!*

GP: CHAIRSHOT TO MALONE!

JT: Tod just brought another chair into the ring, but Phillips grabs his foot and won't let go!

GP: Welsk is going to swing! But he can't! Someone grabbed the chair!

JT: It's the Nude!

GP: The Nude grabbed the chair! Meanwhile, Tod let go of his chair trying to get Phillips off of his foot!

Nikki: Phillips let go... AND THE NUDE JUST ANNIHILATED SCHITZO TOD WITH A CHAIRSHOT!

GP: WHAT THE HELL!?

JT: I don't get it! The Nude is on Tampax's side!

GP: The Nude just grabbed the other chair! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is back on his feet... THE OFFICAL GAY DOUBLE CHAIRSHOT(Double chairshot) TO AWS MAN (also known as Bill)! MY GOD!

JT: The Nude and Thomas Welsk do a high five and drop the chairs behind them!

GP: What the hell are they doing?

Nikki: Dancing!

GP: The Winds of Change are back on their feet... Welsk turns... Malone picks him up! FATED HURRICANE(Spinebuster-Inverted DDT combo)!

Nikki: Phillips grabs a chair as the Nude bails out!

GP: Tod's back up... is Phillips going to hit him?

JT: No! That no-good, goody-two-shoes Daniel Phillips just dropped the chair and walks out of the ring!

GP: And Malone follows.

Nikki: What the hell's going on?

GP: I have no clue, and neither does Schitzo Tod, by the look on his face.....

JT: Hey! My Dick is on the Dick-A-Tron!

My Dick: Yo, hold up there Winds of Change. Being the great booking power that I am, I am about to make a ruling. Since Team Tampax are the World Tag Champions, and you guys are the IC Tag Champs, and you both are the only decent tag teams in the IWO......YOU WILL FIGHT!

(Joey Malone has a mic.)

Joey Malone: Ummmm.....OK!

My Dick: Good, now Tampax has an opponent to fill in the question marks at the Pay-Per-View. Oh, and it'll be TITLE FOR TITLE! Whoever wins becomes both champions, whoever loses will have no belts! So....you guys go fight right now or no title shot for you.

GP: My Dick fades off the screen as Malone and Phillips charge the ring and start poking at Team Tampax with they're feet. Now the referee brigade is out to break things up!

JT: That was pointless.

Nikki: But now we've got the tag team title match set for the Fear the Darkness! Both belts on the line! We'll be back after this!



(Scene fades into My Dick sitting in a chair in his office as Commish Tom walks into the room.)

Commish Tom: Hey My Dick, I've had enough of you trying to book every match out here on MY SHOW.

My Dick: But Tom, you're forgetting I have this....

(My Dick holds up a small gold card that says "Booking Power".)

Commish Tom: You just had that made!

My Dick: That may be true, but it IS what I have. You can still book your matches Tommy, I let you book Winds of Change vs. Team Tampax non-title.

Commish Tom: You didn't LET me do anything.

My Dick: Why are you so bitter? You know you would have booked the same thing for Fear the Darkness.

Commish Tom: Well yeah....

My Dick: Then be gone with you unless you plan on sucking up to My Dick. HAHAHA!

Commish Tom: WHATEVER.

GP: Right now we've got a rather unusual match up......

JT: Even more unusual than that flying monkey involved PTS/Winds of Change match?

GP: It just may turn out to be. Rob Kestler will team with his sweetie Cassie to take on his arch nemesis Plandeux and his wife-servant Soltres!

Nikki: Why is an evil space alien fighting in the IWO anyway?

JT: Who the hell knows, this should be fun though! I wonder what alien blood looks like!

GP: Here comes Planduex, who is not even solid matter, he's more of a gaseous being....

{"Space Lord" by Monster Magnet plays as Plandeux along with his Wife-Servant Soltres walk out to a series of boos. They make their way to the ring where Plandeux makes a microphone levitate near where a mouth should be...}

Plandeux: I refuse to have this under deserving IWO announce team call my match. Plandeux is a God on this planet and as such deserves only the best play by play team in history.

{Plandeux then makes the current announcers disappear to the back and in their place appears Kato Kaelin and John Rocker. John Rocker looks over to see his broadcasting partner...}

Rocker: Good, they didn't hook me up with some fucking chink this time.

Kato: Like, whoa.

{The camera goes to Rob Kestler and Cassie in the back receiving last minute advice from Professor IQ...}

IQ: Now team Silly Pants, this is a crucial match. It's not everyday that you get to fight a pair of space aliens who are you arch-nemisi for no apparent good reason.

Kestler: I'm ready professor. I've got your anyi-giggle cap and everything!

{Rob adjusts the tin foil covered baseball hat on his head which protects him from Plandeux's ability to make people giggle uncontrollably...}

Cassie: How silly willy nilly!

Kestler: Sure is Cassie!

IQ: Good luck and kick their boot-ays if they have them.

Kestler: LET'S DO THIS THING!

{"Stayin' Alive" as performed by Ozzy Osbourne plays as the screen switches to the arena as Rob and Cassie make their way to the ring...}

Rocker: This should be an interesting match up as neither of these men are black.

Kato: Whoa.

Rocker: Ok, that gasy alien thing Planthole is attacking the big human guy Bob something. Planthole is throwing guy around like there is no tomorrow. My God! I haven't seen a beating like this since my last Klan meeting.

Kato: Like, whoa.

{Kestler is getting thrown around, Cassie seems to be cheering him on but shows no intent on actually entering this match. Cassie begins to pound on the mat...}

Cassie: GO SILLYKINS! WIN WIN WIN! BEAT UP THE NOT NICE GAS CLOUD THING!

{Plandeux yets go of Rob...}

Plandeux: Excuse me, but I have a name. It's Plandeux. You don't hear me call you water bag thing. Huh?

{Kestler attacks Plandeux from behind. He attempts to put him into a waist lock but it turns out Plandeux has no waist...}

Rocker: Man, that guy is all weird and gas like. Doesn't look good for Bob in this one. This Planthole guy is more slippery than a greasy Mexican trying to excape from the fuzz.

Kato: Whoa. Noop.

Rocker: Noop? Is that a new racial slur that I have yet to use?

Kato: Like whoa. Noop is like totally poon spelled backwards.

Rocker: Wop dago.

{Plandeux kicks Rob in the head with one of his multiple pseudopods and tags in his Wife-Servant Soltres who bears a weird resemblance to Yasmine Bleeth. Huricanrana on Kestler from Soltres! Kestler stumbles to his feet and manages to get a couple of hits in on Soltres...}

Rocker: Beat that woman! Show her why that should either be on their knees or in the kitchen! Do it Bob!

Kato: Whoa.

{Kestler with a pin attempts after a short arm takedown. 2 count...}

Rocker: Don't let that jew kick out!

Kato: Like, Whoa and stuff....whoa.

{Kestler picks up Soltres and is setting her up for the Call From Beyond. Cassie jumps up on the apron...}

Cassie: Sillykins! It's not silly willy to hit a girl! You know that!

Kestler: Sowry.

{Kestler throws Soltres into her corner where Plandeux tags in...}

Rocker: Gaseous formation Planthole back into the ring. Do you know why there are there are no Mexicans in the ring there burned out actor Kato Kaelin?

Kato: Whoa?

Rocker: Because the only ring a mexican will have anything to do with is a drug ring.

{Kestler attempts a suplex on Plandeux but since he's a gaseous mass it doesn't work well. Plandeux knocks him down and begins to smother him...}

Cassie: Get him Sillykins! GO ROB! GO ROB! GO ROB! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERP!

{Cassie jumps up and down in a very annoying way. Plandeux gets off of Kestler...}

Plandeux: Honestly, could you be more retarded? Come on. This is just embarrassing!

{Kestler stands up from behind and grabs a small vacuum cleaner from under the ring...}

Kestler: Hey Mr. Alien Guy!

{Plandeux turns around...}

Kestler: Oreck is kewllllllllll!

{Kestler vacuums Plandeux into the vacuum cleaner...}

Rocker: That was absolutely spictastic.

Kato: Like, whoa....what's that?

{Suddenly Hastur the Unspeakable comes out of the crowd and nails Kestler with an Inverted Powerbomb. The ref obviously doesn't see it as he is inspecting his shirt for holes. Hastur throws the container with Plandeux
inside on top of Kestler...}

ref: Uno...Dos...tres!

Rocker: That douchewhore just used another language! He's fucking dead!

{John Rocker runs into the ring and beats the referee stupid...}

Vincent: MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER PLANDEUX CUNT WHORE ASS WINS BY FUCKING FUCK STUFF! JISM FUCKING SHIT!

(Suddenly Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki re-appear and as Kato Kaelin dissappears as fast as OJ's knife.)

JT: Where the hell were we?

GP: I think we were in that timeless void that Kestler and Psycho Jay are always stuck in.

Nikki: Ewww, I feel yucky.

GP: We'll be back right after this with out main event!!!



The scene opens up to Commish Tom entering VP Evan's office.)

Commish Tom: Evan I'm still pissed off about my car!

VP Evan: Awww, poor Tom. I think you've got enough to handle with My Dick taking over your show.

Commish Tom: He's not taking over anything! This is MY SHOW!

VP Evan: That's not what I heard!

Commish Tom: Dammit, him and that booking power card are getting out of hand! I'll be back!

VP Evan: Ok Arnold Schwarzeneggar.

(The scene cuts back to the announcer's table.)

GP: Tonight we've got one helluva main event coming your way ladies and gentlemen!

JT: Thats right! We have "The Loser" oh uh..."The Legend" Phelen Kell taking on Team V.I.A.G.R.A. and Central Powers own High Flyer!

GP: And here is the added twist to the match folks, there will be two special guest referee's present for tonights matchup. And those two men are Rob Kestler and Al Coholic!

Nikki: Oh whoa that can bring nothing but bad things to this Main event.

GP: I'm gonna have to agree with you there Nikki. This one is undoubtabley going to turn into a donneybrook. Emotions are running high tonight with the Main Event about to come under way!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...tonights main event is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of television time remaining...introducing first...one of the special guest referee's for tonights contest...

::"Stayin' Alive" as performed by Ozzy Osbourne begins to play as Rob Kestler finally makes his way out to the ring. He steps through the ropes to a huge crowd explosion.::

Announcer: He is a Child of the Porn, from Minneapolis Minnesota, he stands 6'6" weighing in at 313 pounds...ROOOOOOOOB KEEEEEESTLER! And the second special guest referee for tonights main event...

::"Hotdog" by Limp Bizkit begins to play as the fans cheers quickly turn to jeers toward Al Coholic, who comes walking down the ramp without an expression on his face and steps into the ring.::

Announcer: He is the newest addition to the Central Powers stable....AAAAAAAL COHOLIC!


::Suddenly "Loco" by Coal Chamber begins to blast through the arena.::

Announcer: And introducing, combatant number one...he hails from Bethlehem Pennsylvania, he stands at six feet, weighing in at 204 pounds....he is a member to Team V.I.A.G.R.A. as well as the Central Powers....he is the
master of the Flying Moon Shot...HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEERRRRRRRRR!

::High Flyer makes his way out to the ring and inside.::

Announcer: And his opponent...

::The lights suddenly go out and that ever so familiar bass line begins to play throughout the arena. The lights return on to a dim gray as "Sober" by TOOL rings throughout the arena. Phelen Kell makes his way on to the
ramp with a determined look upon his face.::

Announcer: And his opponent...from Chicago Illinois....weighing in at 270 pounds...standing six feet, two inches...."The Legend" himself...PHEEEEEEELEEEEEEEEN KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!

::Kell stares straight ahead at High Flyer. High Flyer, inside of the ring has not taken his eyes off of Kell either. As the fans continue to cheer, the lights come back up and Kell slides into the ring.::

GP: And here we go right away folks as the lights come back up Phelen Kell and High Flyer are duking it out in The center of the ring. Phelen with a left, Flyer with a right, Flyer with a left, Phelen blocks it, boot to the
mid-section and rolls High Flyer over for a take down. But Flyer is quick to come back! He European Uppercuts Phelen from a sitting position! Phelen flies backward, rolling through with the hit. Flyer is up, Kell is up! They
charge eachother! Phelen Kell with a spear take down!

JT: Damn what a way to start this match off!!!!

Nikki: For once I've gotta agree with needle dick, this is one hell of an opener to the main event!

JT: Hey whore, it might be a needle but it runs like a sewing machine.

Nikki: Psh, oh please that is so like...sixth grade.

JT: Hey...why don't you suck my nuts.

Nikki: In your dreams.

JT: More like nightmares. Thats all I need is your scabies.

Nikki: WHAT!?!?

**SLAP SLAP SLAP**

Nikki: Motherfucker!

JT: Cunt muffin!

GP: Phelen Kell has the control of this one in the early going as the pace as slowed down. Kell, with a nice double arm stretch, pulling back on the arms of High Flyer while ramming his foot into Flyers back. You can see the
pain on his face as Kell wrenches back. He breaks the hold seeing that it isn't working the way he'd originally hoped it would.

JT: Kell picks Flyer up now into a high velocity body slam to the mat followed by an elbow drop which Kell turns directly into a headlock.

GP: We're seeing a more technical Phelen Kell here tonight.

Nikki: Yeah he's like...doing stuff that hurts.

JT: Oh just don't fucking talk when you don't know what your talking about ditz.

Nikki: ....hmph!

JT: Kell is applying the pressure on Flyers neck now, twisting and contorting himself to apply extra pressure.

GP: Your right there. But wait, Flyer reverses it into a pin!

1....NO!

GP: Its a kick out by Phelen Kell who stands up quickly, bounces off the ropes and field goal kicks Flyer in the face with the tip of his boot! Ouch!

JT: Damn! "The Loser" Phelen Kell is pissed! All the better it'll be when he loses!

Nikki: No way! Phelen Kell would never lose to High Flyer!

JT: You just watch!

GP: Kell lifts Flyer up for a DDT but High Flyer picks Kell up into an Inverted Atomic Drop. Phelen is holding his "boys" now as Flyer springs off the ropes with a lariot clothesline that sends Kell spinning through the air!!!

JT: SEE I TOLD YOU!

Nikki: Daaaaaaaaaamn.

GP: Flyer lifts Kell up and Irish Whips him into the turnbuckle following him in for a Stinger Splash! Kell falls to the mat with the wind knocked out of him. Flyer runs to the opposite ring post and runs in with a sliding
drop kick! Kell is in pain! Flyer lifts him up once again, leaning him against the Turnbuckle post. He climbs up on him and begins to punch!

1...2....3....4....5...6....7....8...

JT: WAIT! KELL IS COMING BACK! HE DROPS HIGH FLYER INTO A LOW DOWN ON TO THE MAT! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN NOW! THE REFEREE'S INNITIATE THEIR COUNTS!

Al: 1....2......3......4.....5.

Rob: 1....2....3....hey....stop it I'll take this.

::Al pushes Rob.::

Rob: You.....

::Rob punches Al across the face sending him to the mat outside the ring.::

JT: WHOA! ROB KESTLER JUST LAID OUT AL COHOLIC! DISQUALIFY HIM!!!

Nikki: He's a referee hitting another Referee...you can't disqualify him he isn't even fighting...you boob.

JT: DO IT ANYWAY! THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

GP: And Phelen Kell gets to his feet, followed by High Flyer. Kell pokes Flyer in the eye and Irish Whips him to the ropes, Kell bounces off the opposite side and comes in hitting High Flyer with a knee to the stomach.
Flyer hits the mat hard. Kell quickly goes up to the top rope, but Flyer was playing possum!

JT: YES! High Flyer hits the ropes knocking Kell off balance! Kell falls and hurts his jewels once again! Kell is sitting on the top turnbuckle. Flyer going up top with Kell HURRICAN-RANNA BY HIGH FLYER! He goes for the first pin of the match! Rob Kestler drops down to innitiate a count...

1.....2....NO!

GP: A kickout by Phelen Kell!

::At the ring::

High Flyer: Your counting slow as shit Kestler. Why don't you be a fair ref and raise my hand! I shoulda won there!

Rob: Um....no.

::Announcers::

Nikki: See! Phelen'll never give up! Its just not in him. Mmm..i bet he's hung like a horse.

JT: OH MY GOD!

Nikki: What?

JT: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!!!

Nikki: Hey you said that about Greg in the back earlier!

::Greg Parker stares at JT.::

JT: DID NOT!

Nikki: YES YOU DID!

JT:...J......JUST SHUT UP!

GP: Uh....um...anyway, High Flyer now with the advantage he gives Kell a headbutt and follows up with a Brainbuster into the mat. Kell is down still! This can not be good for "The Legend"! Al Coholic is starting to show signs of life on the outside. As Phelen Kell is body pressed by Flyer we see Rob Kestler just had his feet swept out from underneath him by Al Coholic. Coholic pulls him out of the ring and begins stomping him. Coholic low in the ring as the official.

JT: Now we'll have some fair officiating going on!

Nikki: I thought Kestler was doing fine.

JT: Yeah if your a Phelen Kell fan sure.

Nikki: Oh and I suppose Al Coholic is gonna call it down the middle right?

GP: Flyer is calling for it! This could be it! The Flying Moon Shot! Flyer goes to the top rope!!! He flies off! OH MY GOD! KELL MOVED! KELL MOVED! FLYER IS DOWN! KELL IS STRUGGLING TO STAND!

JT: FUCK!

GP: Kell now up, though dizzy, goes over to Flyer and kicks him in the side and drops down into a Dragon Sleeper Hold! Kell is working on the neck area tonight folks. Looks like he's working toward using "Malicious Intent"
(Scorpion Deathlock into an STF) Kell is pulling back on the neck of High Flyer. Kell with his extensive Judo and Jiu Jitsu background, as well as Kung Fu, he is quite proficiant with submission maneuvers.

JT: He sucks my left nut.

Nikki: You'd like that wouldn't you?

JT: SHUT UP I DIDN"T SAY IT!

Nikki: YES YOU DID!

GP: Kell releases the hold and lifts Flyer to his feet. He twists him into an inverted neck breaker sending Flyer right back to the mat. Kell now back with another variant of the Dragon Sleeper Hold.

JT: Geez this is gonna get boring really quickly.

GP: LOOK AT THAT! HIGH FLYER JUST TAPPED OUT AND AL COHOLIC DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE IT!

Nikki: So much for unbiase Al.

JT: Hey he wasn't watching okay?

GP: Kell just broke the hold and is getting into Coholics face!

::In ring.::

Phelen: WHAT THE FUCK AL!?!?! CALL THE MATCH DOWN THE MIDDLE!!!

::Phelen begins to walk back over to pick Flyer up and Al kicks him in the back sending Kell to the mat.::

::Announcers::

GP: AL COHOLIC WITH A CHEAP SHOT! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN NOW! Wait whats this? From behind its Rob Kestler! He has a statue of Kelsie Grammar (Of Frasier) naked! He just broke it over Al Coholics head!! Coholic is down again! Kestler is the only standing official!

JT: What the hell is going on? The officials fight is more interesting than the match! And where'd he get the statue of Kelsie Grammar (of Frasier) naked?

Nikki: Why do you want o-

**WHAM**

JT: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

GP: Rob Kestler has begun a count as both men lie on the mat.

Kestler: Von...ah..ah...ah.....TWO ah...ah..ah...TREE ah...ah...ah....FOUR....ah...ah..ahh....aw damn he got up.

GP: And High Flyer is standing, and grasping onto his neck. You can see the pain on his face. He begins to stomp on Phelen Kell now. He picks him up over his shoulders and drops him into a Dominator! Flyer for the pin!

Kestler: VON ah..ah...ah...T-

High Flyer: JUST FUCKING COUNT!

Kester: ......well you don't have to be a dick about it. Sheesh.

GP: AND Kell kicks out even though the count was kind of stopped. Flyer doesn't look happy. He picks Kell up and throws him outside the ring. Kell begins to stand up, Flyer bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of
the ring and Spring Board Plancha's Kell on the outside! High Flyer now down on the mat with Kell! Kestler begins the cou....wheres Kestler?

JT: He's sitting in the corner with a GameBoy!!!

Nikki: Hey he's playing Poke'mon!

JT: Simple minded twit!

GP: Rob Kestler is sitting in the corner playing Poke'mon on his GameBoy giving both Phelen Kell and High Flyer all the time in the world now. Both men are up and throwing lefts and rights at one another. Kell ducks a punch
and Flyer punches the metal post. He screams in pain and retracts his hand but Kell grabs Flyers arm and drops him to the ground with it. He has Flyer in the Crippler Crossface (Bitter Beer Face) just like he did to Al
Coholic on this past Monday Night Meltdown! Kell is killing with these submissions tonight!

JT: If he doesn't stop soon I think I'm going to fall asleep.

Nikki: Sounds like someones not a fan of "Memphis Style" wrestling.

JT: Your god damned right I'm not.

Nikki: No nostalgia...I tell ya.

GP: Here comes Al Coholic now! He has a Swiss Colony Beef Log in his hand! He just mashed Rob Kestler over the head with the Swiss Colony Beef Log! Kestler is down and now Coholic is the controlling referee! Kell finally has released the hold on Flyer as he slides into the ring making sure not to turn his back on either Flyer or Coholic. Kell is just standing in the ring taking a breather until Flyer comes inside.

JT: And here comes Flyer, slowly but surely climbing back in to the ring. He looks visibley fatigued, as does Kell. Hell even the referee's both do.

GP: Kell now goes right to work on Flyer again stomping away at him like a mad man. The sweat is pouring off of Kell as he stomps! Phelen now lifts High Flyer up just to hit him with a knee lift to the face but Flyer blocks
it and tackles Kell!!!!

JT: YES!!! YES!!! Flyer is punching the hell out of Kell! OH! HAHAHAA! HE KNEED HIM IN THE GROIN! THAT WAS AWESOME!

GP: A cheap shot by High Flyer gives him the advantage now as he lifts Kell up into a Samoan drop, and drops him to the mat and goes for the pin.

JT: Kestler makes the count.

Kestler: 1.....2.......OH! Nope, not this time snucums.

Phelen: Damn it!

GP: Phelen lifts Flyer up now, but Flyer lifts Kell up even higher into a back body drop! Flyer fooled Kell! He was playin possum! He slides Kell over to the corner now...HE'S CALLING FOR IT! HE'S CALLING FOR THE FLYING
MOON SHOT! HE'S UP ON THE TOP ROPE!

JT: YES! YES! YES!

GP: HE LEAPS OFF! AND HE HIT IT! HE HIT IT! BUT NO! PHELEN KELL JUST FLIPPED IT OVER! HE FLIPPED THE PIN OVER! KESTLER FOR THE COUNT!

Kestler: UNO, DOS, TRES!

GP: PHELEN KELL WINS! PHELEN KELL WINS!

JT: FUCKIN' SON OF A BITCH!

GP: PHELEN KELL DID IT! BUT WAIT! OH MY GOD HERE COMES EVAN LEVINE AND THE CENTRAL POWERS!

JT: HAHA! I KNEW THIS WOULD END WELL!

GP: THEY'RE CLIMBING IN THE RING AND GOING AFTER PHELEN! EVAN HITS PHELEN AND KNOCKS HIM OVER! THE CP IS TAKING PHELEN APART! DAMN IT SOMEBODY STOP THIS! STOP THIS NOW!

JT: HAHAHAHA.....OH SHIT! RUN GUYS! RUN!

Nikki: Here comes Psycho Jay!

JT: What the hell is he doing out here?!

GP: JAY HITS THE RING AND SPEARS SCOTT STONE! HE GETS UP AND LEVELS LEVINE WITH A DIVING CLOTHESLINE AND STARTS POUNDING AWAY AT HIM....NOW THE CP ARE STOMPING JAY!

Nikki: The completely out-number Jay and Kell!

GP: HERE COMES HARLEQUIN! HE HAS A SPIKED BASEBALL BAT! OH MY GOD! THE CENTRAL POWERS HAVE CLEARED OUT OF THE RING!!!! PHELEN KELL IS DOWN! HARLEQUIN SAVES THE DAY! WHAT THE HELL WAS PSYCHO JAY HELPING OUT JELL FOR? FOR JT AND NIKKI, I'M GREG PARKER! WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME FOLKS FOR ANOTHER EDITION OF HOSTILE TAKEOVER!!!

**Fade Out**