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Hostile Takeover
October 13th, 2000
Friday the Thirteenth... What the hell can Happen!?!?
Main Event
As Ordered by the Front office for Jay's Actions on Takeover
*Psycho Jay's hands will be cuffed behind his back*
Psycho Jay vs. Pure Attitude(Wesley Sanders and Donnie Daze)

World Heavyweight Tag Team Title Matchup
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(Rob Kestler and High Flyer) -c- vs. Team Tampax(AWS Man & Schitzo Tod)

Tony Davis vs. LiGiL

Atlantic Title Match
Should Arrows win, he shall recieve another shot at the I.C. tag team championships next Hostile Takeover with a partner of his choosing.
Shawn Arrows -c- vs. Joey Malone

Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid vs. Former IML President Nick Kostos

Extreme Title Match
Barbed Wire Weapon Choice Match
Special Guest Referee:Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid
Sam Potright -c- vs. Dane Matthews

The Spaz Event vs. the Suicide Kings

United States Title Match
Mike Marchese -c- vs. Cyanide

Will Coholic Explain his actions?
Will Kell take Coholic out?
Will Evan have his head humped one more time?
(The IWO logo fades onto the screen, as a heartbeat echos throughout. This repeats two more times, until it erupts into flames on the television Screen. "Second Best" by Pulley is playing in the background as we fade into highlights from Monday Night Meltdown.)

**Fade into Highlights**
MR: Flyer is now yelling at both Evan and Tom!!! As Flyer is yelling at the staff...Kell is getting to his feet!! Ford
smiles as Flyer shacks his head and turns around...OH!!!! STEEL RAIN!!! FLYER IS OUT!!! STEEL RAIN!!! The cover!!! Ford goes to make it....NO!!! Evan pushes him out of the way!! Evan goes to make it....NOW FORD Pushes VP Evan out of the way!!! The two are now arguing over who should make the count!!!

AK: Damn it....Kell has had a 20 count on Flyer!!!

JS: I know ant it great!!!

MR: Kell looking pissed off gets up and grabs both VP Evan and Commish Tom by the shirts and slams them to the ground telling them to make the count!!! 1........2...........NO!!!! Flyer gets the shoulder up!!! Kell looks pissed as he pushes the refs into the corner and is yelling at them!!!

**Fade out of this highlight and into a new highlight**

MR: Kell is about to drop Levine as he turns around....OH NO MY GOD!!! AL just nailed Kell in the midsection droping Levine....BITTER BEAR FACE!!!! BITTER BEAR FACE!!!!! Levine is back up and screaming into the face of Kell!!!



MR: Al has Kell in the Bitter Bear Face....NO...Kell has blacked out from the pain!!! Al lets go and pulls Flyer on top of Kell....Commish Ford gets into the ring.....and the
count.....1................................2.........................................................................................................3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!

**Fade Out and back into the sold out arena here in Boston. The fans are screaming as the song "Suite-Pee" by System of a Down plays out of the pa speakers. The camera pans all the way down to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki standing near their announce booth.)

GP:FANS! Welcome to the Friday the Thirteenth episode, of Hostile Takeover! This is defintily going to be a huge night, as we see Team Tampax collide with the tag team champions, team V.I.A.G.R.A.!

JT:Potright and Dane Matthews will go one on one for the Extreme championship in a Mystery Death Match!

("Loco" by Coal Chamber hits the pa system as the fans rise from their seat, voicing their views of anger at the once loved man. The lights dim to a light orange, as we see three streams of light come from both sides of the entranceway. Out from the back walks High Flyer, carrying a microphone in his right hand, and the tag team championship belt in his other hand. Wearing his customary camoflouge viagra pants and Viagra t-shirt, he slides into the ring, as the boos just seem to get louder.)

Flyer:Over the past few weeks...(The boos get larger, as Flyer gets more annoyed.) You want me to address you fans? You want me to talk to you? Well, how about You all realize that you're not important in the overall factors of wrestling, and you all should... I'm not even going to say it. But what I am going to say, is that none other than Phelen Kell, was pinned by ME! High Flyer! I pinned the legend Phelen Kell on Monday Night in that six man tag team matchup, me! Not Davis, not Al, not Psycho Jay, I pinned Phelen Kell! Kell hasn't been beaten in months, and now I pinned him! ME!

(The lights go dark and return on at a dim gray as "Sober" by TOOL blares through the PA system of the arena. The fans begin to cheer loudly as they see "The Legend" Phelen Kell walk out on to the IWO ramp way wearing
a pair of dark red ADIDAS pants with white stripes going down the sides and a cut off sleeved black Hostile Youth T-shirt. Slowly making his way down the ramp, he still has a microphone in his hand.)

Phelen Kell:Look Flyer, I've got no beef with you. I may think you're a scrawny talentless shoe salesman, but if you've got a problem with me, let's solve it.

Flyer:Listen Kell, defeating you is like taking Castro out of power, it's something to be proud of, and I can be proud of my 1-2-3 on you!

(Flyer points to the IWO-Tron, which shows the footage of Flyer's limp carcass on top of Kell's, as Flyer gets the 1-2-3.)

Flyer:See! It was a fair, clean pinfall! I beat you all by myself!

Phelen Kell:You are very naive I must say. You think you're fooling me?

(Kell begins to climb into the ring, as the IWO-Tron now flashes black, and comes back on with man dressed entirly in black down in the backstage area. This man rolls over, revealing himself to be Al Coholic, down on the ground, bleeding from the forehead. Almost immediatly Flyer's look of happiness changes into shockness. Flyer immediatly tries to get out of the ring.)

GP:Flyer's trying to get out, but Kell grabs him by his shirt!

JT:This isn't good! This isn't good! Where's Evan Levine!

GP:Flyer knows he's not in the right position, he's begging off of Kell! He's trying to get Kell to let him go!

(Flyer continues to beg, as Kell begins to release his grip. Flyer seems to ease off, thinking he's safe.)


JT:Phelen kicks Flyer in the gut, and racks him up... STEEL RAIN!!!!(Torture Rack into an Implant DDT)

GP:Phelen Kell has just laid out High Flyer, and a sneak attempt by CP has been destroyed!!!

**Commercial Break**

(Commish Ford is seen in his office, playing the old Super Mario Brothers. VP Evan comes barging in, as Ford doesn't seem to move.)

Commish Ford:What do you want Mr. Evan.

VP Evan:What do I want? I want you to regain some god damn order out there! You just had Phelen Kell lay out High Flyer, and Flyer has a huge match later tonight!

Commish Ford:Yeah? He shouldn't have been talking smack...

VP Evan:What the hell is with you tonight. Usually we get to arguing back and forth and we book some crazy main event.

Commish Ford:There already is a main event... and I'm playing Super Mario Brothers... I've never beaten it... so it's more important than you.

(Commish Ford looks up at Evan and gives him a sly look. He dies in his game.)

Commish Ford:Now look what you did! You made me lose!

VP Evan:Ford, get your act together or I'll be running this place.

Commish Ford:That's nice... get out of my office now.

VP Evan:You know someone's parking in my spot tonight. I had to park out on the streets with all those lunatic drug dealers here in Boston. I was offered three different drugs on my simple walk to the arena! Now if that doesn't say pisshole, then I don't know what does!

Commish Ford:Okay, someone parked in your spot... wow. Intresting...

(VP Evan leaves angered by Commish Ford's lack of intrest. Ford then puts his game on pause, as he switches views to the parking lot, spot 28. A 2000 Mustang GT is shown, all nice and shiny.)

Commish Ford:He better not touch my damn car.

(We fade out of Commish Fords office and back into the arena.)

United States Championship Match
Mike Marchese -c- vs. Cyanide

GP:Can you believe that? Commish Ford just parked in what seems to be VP Evan's spot!

JT:Who cares, man, I didn't think the executive board made THAT kind of money!

Nikki:It is a nice car... makes me want to jump on top of it...

JT:You can use me as the Mustang Nikki...

GP:Alright, lets get down to business... This is going to be a rather large opening match here on the Friday the thirteenth edition of Hostile Takeover, Cyanide and Mike Marchese are going to go at each other one on one, for however long it takes for one of them to walk out with the United States Title.

JT:Let's see Marchese!

(The camera fades into the ring, showing Meygon with her women's title. She is wearing a very revealing outfit.)

JT:Damn... did I meantion we're rated X tonight?

Meygon:This next matchup is scheduled for one fall, and is for the United States Championship. Introducing first, the challenger. He originally hails from Canterbury, New Zealand, now hailing from Hollywood, California. He weighs in tonight at 315 3/4 pounds, and is the master of the "Dark Side of the Moon," Here is Cyanide!

("Terra Firma" by Tommy & Phil Emmanuel plays, as Cyanide makes his entrance into the ring. He seems to be ready.)

Meygon:And his opponent....

("Kenkraft 4000" by Zombie Nation plays as the fans begin to cheer.)

Meygon:He weighs in 258 pounds, and hails from Darien, Illinois. He is the current IWO United States Champion, here is Mike Marchese!

(Mike Marchese comes wandering out of the back, carrying the same rubix cube. He makes his way in, as he seems to have forgotten something. He ponders for a bit, and can't put his finger on it.)

GP:Hey Mikey!

JT:He likes it!

GP:JT... Marchese just forgot the United States title!

JT:What a credible champion THAT is!

(Marchese goes to get out of the ring, but Cyanide turns him around.)

GP:Oh my god! Dear god! Marchese just nailed Cyanide with a huge tomakaze kick!

(A local vendor walks up to the announce booth, and hands then a bag of peanuts.)

JT:Hey! Airplane peanuts! Awesome!

GP:Wait JT, they could be dangerous....

JT:It's free food!

Nikki:He has a point GP.

GP:Yeah, but on the package it says "Harmful if swallowed," and "May cause Hallucinations."

JT:But it's Free!

(JT engulfs the bag full of peanuts, as does Nikki. Both immediatly begin to feel woozy.)

GP:Oh my god! Cyanide just caught Marchese Cylock bomb! Marchese is down! Marchese is down! Cover by Cyanide! 1-2-3! Marchese has just lost the US title to Cyanide!

Meygon:Your winner, and new United States champion, Cyanide!

(The camera fades out to a commercial break where we see Greg Parker eating the bag of peanuts. Cyanide is also angry he doesn't have the actual title belt.)

**Commercial Break**

(We return from the break with psycodelic colors surround the entire audience. Greg Parker and JT seem to be falling over, as Nikki helps herself stay up by her arms.)

Shawn Arrows vs. Joey Malone

{Shawn Arrows music starts as the crowd starts to boo. As Arrows walks down the ramp he is hit with several nachos and food containers. He steps into the ring, Atlantic belt around his waist, and mic in hand. Arrows looks at the crowd, then at his belt.}

Arrows: You all suck! I'm the best! And Malone Sucks! He sucks because I am better then he, which makes him not good! For I am the best! Joey Malone, you suck! HAHAHA! I am so repetitive! And yet I am the best!

{Suddenly, a cosmic void appears over the ring and the crowd starts to cheer. Joey malone pops out and begins to kicks Shawn Arrows ass.}

GP: And we are off!

Nikki: That Malone is so hot. He and Schitzo Tod are both hot.

JT: I'm hot too! Kiss me Nikki!

Nikki: Never, you are an ugly bastard.

GP: Malone starting off strong, with a New Arizona Heatwave (Tiger suplex into a face buster) to Arrows!

JT: Nikki, what if I give you money? Can we have sex then?

Nikki: No, we can't…

GP: Malone, punching away at Shawn Arrows mid section.

JT: C'mon Nikki! I'll do anything!

Nikki: NO!

GP: Wow! Malone off the top rope with a top-rope swandive headbutt!

JT: Huh?

GP: And Arrows goes down for for the count. 1… 2… What! The ref was knocked out from behind! Damn! That was the win right there, but then something got the ref out!

Nikki: It looks like… Oh god no… It's Barbara Streisand!

JT: What?!

Barbara Streisand: MWAHAHA The diamond is almost complete!

JT: What the hell? What diamond!

GP: Well, Barbara Streisand just took out the ref, and now she walking over to Shawn Arrows…

Barbara Streisand: Hey, you hot stud!

Arrows: Um… Hey!

Barbara Streisand: So, cutie pants… Can I hold you belt?

Arrows: Well, this is a special belt…

Joey Malone: (Walking over to Arrows) Don't give her the belt!

Barbara Streisand: (Touching Arrows crotch) C'mon, I'll give it back baby…

Arrows: Well… Okay!

Joey Malone: NOOOOO!

Arrows: (Handing Barbara Streisand the belt) Okay! Now… Lets get it on!

Joey Malone: You idiot!

GP: Barbara Streisand is looking at the belt… OH MY! SHE JUST SHOVED THE ATLANTIC TITLE UP HER ASS!

JT: What?!

Nikki: Barbara Streisand is growing! Now she's some sort of… Mecha Streisand!

Arrows: But I thought you loved me!

Mecha Streisand: Ha! Love you? How? Your promos are boring, and a complete waste of my time!

{The scene fades to little Edgar, watching a Shawn Arrows Promo.}

Little Edgar: OWIE! MY EYES!

{Edgar's eyes melt at the site of Shawn Arrows recent promo. The scene then fades back into the ring.}

Mecha Streisand: See? You hurt Little Edgar… Now, I can rule the universe!

Joey Malone: Damn, I need Daniel here to help fight this beast… But I can't get to him in time. What can we do?

{The Theme to Ranma ½ starts up as Schitzo Tod charges down to the ring.}

Joey Malone: Tod?

Schitzo Tod: I too posses the powers of Jurai.

Joey Malone: Jurai? I was talking about something else, but if you can power up, we'll have a chance.

{Tod and Malone both power up to form Ryuujin.}

Ryuujin: Masenka…mey…ha!

{Ryuujin fires a bolt of ki at Mecha Streisand, but she just flicks it away.}

GP: Dear god!

Small Japanese Child: (re-dubbed) You can do it Ryuujin! I believe in you!

{Ryuujin forms a blazing sword and flies toward Mecha Streisand, cuttung her in half.}

Crowd: Yay!

{Mecha Streisand burns up, and the poop-stained Atlantic belt falls out of her ass. Tod and Malone then separate.}

Joey Malone: Thanks Tod, we saved the universe. But now, I must finish what I have started!

JT: Schitzo Tod is leaving, and Malone and Arrows continue to battle3 things out!

Nikki: Malone, going to the top rope, Fantasy World Dizzy! He rolls up Arrows into a cover!


GP: But again, it's inurupted by... NAMBLA?

Nambla Leader: This is my time to shine, get me... Little Edgar!

Nikki: No! The Nambla leader wants to saudomize little Edgar!

JT: An without eyes... Poor Edgar will never know what hit him!

Little Edgar: No! I can't see!

Japanese Child: (re-dubbed) Can Ryuujin help Edgar?

Joey Malone: YOU ANIMALS!

Nikki: Joey is getting mad!

GP: He just took out the NAMBLE Leader!

Joey Malone: Who's next?!

JT: Nambla's backing off! Malone saved the day again!

GP: But Arrows from behind with that poo-stained title!

JT: Not the poop-stained title!

Nikki: Arrows is a sadistic freak!

GP: He's rubbing the poop all over Malone!

Arrows: HAHAHA!

GP: Dear lord, this is just sick!

JT: Wait a second! It's the flying monkeys!

Nikki: I don't think Shawn Arrows likes these monkeys that much!

Arrows: Damn you monkeys! Can't ya' see I'm buisy?

GP: The Monkey's are throwing their feces at Shawn Arrows!

JT: EWW! That's dirty Monkey crap!

Arrows: ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA... Talk to you monkeys...


Nikki: Shawn Arrows will talk those monkeys to death!

Arrows: Blah Blah, I'm the best, and so's the rest, you can suck my cock. Boring, pouring, boring...


GP: Shawn Arrows has gone to far!

Nikki: NO! Arrows killed the monkeys!

Arrows: MWAHAHA!

GP: Wait! One Monkey remains! It's barely hanging on!

Nikki: Wait! Malone is back up, and he's not happy!


GP: Malone with a DDT to Shawn Arrows! The ref is up! The ref is up! Top-rope swandive headbutt! And the Cover!

JT:Oh my god... what the hell is that!

(The camera pans over to see a huge Monkey army of thousands. Thousands and thousands of monkeys surround the ring, a they all begin to attack Shawn Arrows.)

GP:What in god's name! It's the flying monkeys again! Dear god! Can't we all just get along?

Nikki:Malone grabs Arrows out of the pack, and hits him with a HUGE vertical suplex brainbuster! Dear god! Arrows neck may very well have been destroyed! Cover by Malone... 1-2-3!

JT:And this eyesore of a match is over! Dear god that sucked...

(The camera returns out of the psychodelic view, as JT is shown trying to help Greg Parker up.)

JT:Greg! Greg! Get up!

GP:Oh my god... what the hell just happened?

JT:Malone beat Arrows in a relativly normal match, but he didn't win the belt...

GP:I must have been knocked out by those peanuts... I had a dream that Barbara Streisand tried to take over the world, flying monkeys helped defeat Arrows as Malone picked up the win, but Malone won the belt in my dream...

JT:Well, he didn't win it...

Nikki:That sounds like a normal Hostile Takeover transcript match that's written by Schitzo Tod... you ever see those things he writes? Damn their weird....

**Commercial Break**

The Spaz Event vs. the Suicide Kings

GP: Fans sorry for the rush but let's get down to the ring for our next event. The Spaz Event and The Suicide Kings are already dueling it out in the ring!

JT: Spaz has Jeff King now. He throws him to the ropes and SPINEBUSTER! Spaz goes for the cover...1.....2...NO! Ryan saves him. That was close!

Nikki: Ryan and Jeff are now doubleteaming Spaz. They lift him up and DOUBLE SUPLEX! This isn't looking good for Spaz!

GP: Sullivan charges into the ring and the referee forces him back. The Suicide Kings continue to double team Spaz.

JT: Hey Greg! Why don't you go help The Spaz Event out again!

GP: Shutup! I was DRUNK!!

JT: SO was I?!

Nikki: ANYWAY...Ryan and Jeff send Spaz to the ropes. They go for a clothesline but Spaz ducks! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY SPAZ! All three men are down! Spaz is going for the tag to Sullivan...

GP:HE MAKES THE TAG! Sullivan comes in and knocks Ryan down with a huge right hand. Sullivan just took off Jeff King's head with a huge clothesline!

JT:Steve Sullivan is just going crazy! Sullivan just caught Ryan King with a huge spinebuster. Jeff King is up...


Nikki:Steve covers Jeff... 1-2-3! What a short but hard fought matchup!

GP:Too bad we couldn't get everything out here on IWO television... Let's take another much needed commercial break!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera fades into the back, where High Flyer and Tony Davis sit. They are both talking, as a delivery man walks into the room.)

Delivery man:Delivery for Mr. Flyer?

High Flyer:That would be me...

Delivery Man:That CAN'T be your real name...

Flyer:What's it to you?

Delivery Man:I want to know... you're the big wrestler guy... I could take ya.

Flyer:Sure, get out of my locker room before you wish you didn't say that...

(Flyer signs for the package, as the guy leaves.)

Flyer:The nerve of people.

Davis:He could take you I think...

Flyer:Shut up Tony... let's see what it is...

(Flyer opens the package, and pulls out another package the reads "Sprinkles the Shower Clown.")

Flyer:What the...

(Flyer opens the package, as he takes a piece of paper out of it. He reads it aloud.)

Flyer:I'm Sprinkles the Shower Clown... I know you'll want to shower with me EVERY morning! *End of reading* What the hell type of taste does Kate think I have...

Davis:I think it's funny... Sprinkles... ha!

(The camera fades out of the locker room and back into the arena. The cage has been constructed.)

Extreme Title Match
Barbed Wire Weapon Match
Special Guest Referee:Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid
Sam Potright -c- vs. Dane Matthews

GP: Our next match is the Extreme Title match! It's between our champ Samuel Potright and Dane Matthews!

JT: And the rules are the rules for a Mystery Death Match! Barbed Wire Cage, bring ANY weapon you want!!

Nikki: And you can't forget our special guest referee..HARDCORE ISOCELES TRAPEZOID!!

GP: Well all 3 men are in the ring and this match is about to get underway!!

*Ding, Ding, Ding!!*

GP: And here we go!! Potright and Matthews going at it! Potright grabs Matthews and throws him into the cage! Matthews screams in pain!! He picks him up in torture rack position, and slams him into the mat!! Potright
picks him up quickly once again, throws him against the cage, Matthews bounces off this time cause of the ropes and A SPEAR FROM POTRIGHT!!

JT: Potright grabs his weapon he brough, a 44 inch dildo! He swings and nails Matthews right in the stomach!! Matthews bends over to hold his gut, Potright goes behind him and shoves it up his ass! Matthews screams and falls to the mat! Potright swings again and clocks Matthews right in the head!!

Nikki: HEY! NOW I KNOW WHERE IT WENT!! AHH I'll get it later!!


Nikki: What I'm serious!


GP: Potright picks Matthews up once again, grabs the shovel, whips Matthews to the ropes and Potright picks the shovel up and..


GP: Dear god! Matthews just got taken out by that shovel!! Potright is goin over and getting in the face of HIT! HIT and Potright start arguing..MATTHEWS IS UP!! He grabs that shovel and nails Potright in the back of the
head!! Potright goes down hard!!


GP: Matthews grabs Potright and he now whips him into the barbed wire ropes! Potright falls and hits hard! Matthews is now stomping away on Potright! Matthews grabs Potright, whips him into the corner and Potright goes right now!

JT: Both men are bleeding like a SIV!!

Nikki: This is terrible! Someone stop the match!!

GP: Wait!! Matthews is calling for his finisher! But there's HIT behind him!! He nails him with that shovel!! Matthews goes down!

HIT: 1..2...3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!! POTRIGHT WINS!!

Nikki: Oh my god!!


JT: Hey Potright look out behind you!!


GP: OH GOD!! POTRIGHT JUST GOT NAILED WITH THAT SHOVEL! HIT is beating on Sam Potright and Dane Matthews!! The fans are going nuts!! But why?!?!

JT:That's simple... HIT wants to make sure his match against Potright at Fear the Darkness is for the title!

GP: Fans we'll be right back!!

**Commercial Break**

Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid vs. Former IML President Nick Kostos

(Camera cuts back from commercial.)

GP: Welcome back to HT. Next up we got the Hardcore Isocoles Trapezoid vs Former IML President Nick Kostos.

Nikki: Nick Kostos? We can expect lots of sexual related acts going down in the next 5 to 20 minutes.

JT: Who cares? Let's just hope somebody gets set on fire.

Meygon: First on his way to the ring to his unknown theme. From place of unknown, and weighing in at a medium sized weight. He is, HARDCORE ISOCOLES TRAPEZOID!!!

("HIT" By the HIT gang plays as HIT comes out from the back. He gets in the ring, to boos and cheers mixed in from the fans.)

Meygon: And his opponent. From that place, about this tall, and this wide. He is, FORMER IML PRESIDENT NICK KOSTOS!!!!

("Nick Kostos Is Your Daddy" by the IML Band plays over the PA. From the back comes Nick Kostos and the fans mix the boos and cheers in at him. He slowly struts down the aisle and slides under the bottom rope. The bell

JT: Awww, where's that Australian whore of his? It doesn't matter, two whores at ringside is one two many.


Nikki: Don't call me a whore.. Nick Kostos and HIT lock up. Nick deleviers a knee to the gut. HIT stumbles back, Nick deleivers a european uppercut.

GP: HIT falls back into the ropes and bounces back off with a clothesline. Nick goes down. HIT slowly walks over to him, and lifts him up by the the hair, OUCH!!! LOW BLOW BY NICK KOSTOS!!

JT: Right in the family jewels. Poor HIT. HIT slowly walks over to the ropes, he leans on the turnbuckle to catch his breath. This is a stupid fucking move. Kostos to his feet, and now he's charging the turnbuckle. HE
LEAPS!!! Nothing.

(HIT dodges the soaring Nick Kostos. HIT, seaming better now, walks to the turnbuckle, and deleivers several kicks to the gut of Nick Kostos. Kostos falls down to sitting postion.)

GP: HIT NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE!! HE'S SHOWING OFF!! Nick Kostos crawls over to the backside of HIT, and deleviers, ANOTHER LOW BLOW!!!!!

JT: Hahahaha! Those jewels are throbbing right about now!!! Nick Kostos kicks HIT in his ass, AND HIT FLYS INTO THE REF!! THE REF IS OUT!!!

Nikki: Kostos walks over to the backside of HIT who has fallen on the ground.... Kostos locks on a boston crab!!


("Born of a Broken Man" By RATM begins to play over the PA system. From the back runs Sam Potright with a Chair in his hand.)










GP: I guess that's retribution for earlier in the night inside the cage!

Nikki: We gotta take a break!

**Commercial Break**

GP: Fans, I think it's time we get right into our next matchup, so without any further delays, lets get to the ring for our introductions.

Meygon: Coming to the ring first, from Sydney, Australia, standing at 6'2, and weighing in at 237 pounds.

'Degenerate' by Blink 182 begins to play throughout the arena as the fans go wild with boos. Tony Davis walks down to the ring, and makes his way up the steps, and into the ring, as the fans are still going wild.

Meygon: He is..Tony Davis!! And his opponent coming to us from Detroit, Michigan, he is standing at 6'4, and weighing in at 254 pounds!

Suffocate by Finger Eleven begins to play, as the fans immediatly start to boo. LiGil runs to the ring, slides in, and immediatly goes after Davis, who had his back turned.

GP: LiGil immediatly gets the advantage, and is laying in the boots to Davis' back,a nd ribs after that vicious clothesline from behind. Ligil picks Davis up, and swings him to the ropes, catching him coming back
with a knee lift to the gut, and a quick powerbomb!

JT: Ligil picks Tony Davis up again, and gets him in a headlock, but Davis pushes LiGil off into the ropes, and catches him with a clothesline as he comes back. Davis picks LiGil up, and swings him to the ropes, he
ducks behind and locks on a sleeper! Davis drops down, and drops LiGil right on his rump, holding the sleeper!

Nikki: LiGil, trying to fight to his feet, and Davis slowly going up. Davis with a kick to LiGil's knee, and Davis again with the sit down sleeper. The referee checking Ligil to see if he's out, but LiGil is still fighting
it, and trying to get back to his feet. Ligil gets to his feet again, and Davis goes back for the knee! Ligil blocked it with his other leg, and kicked Davis with a low blow. Ligil flips Davis over, and kicks him in the back!

JT: LiGil picks Davis up again and swings him into the corner! LiGil sets him up top, and signals for his finisher! Ligil climbs to the top rope, but Davis shoves him off, and goes to the outside!


(The camera pans over to the top of the rampway, as a young beautiful women stands there. She makes her way down to the ring.)

JT:What the hell?

GP:Whoever that women is, she's just staring at the ring... watching the match? And What The heck is Davis doing? He's got a chair, and he's getting in the ring. The referee is trying to stop him, but he just nailed LiGil with it!

Nikki: I have no clue why Davis did that, but he's walking away now!

GP:Aren't these two part of CP? This crazy! I can't believe that?

JT:Wait! It was a farse! LiGiL just beat Davis via DQ, and LiGiL is fine! This is great!

GP:They just screwed Ford's booking over! WAIT! IT'S AARON KAIN! HE TACKLES LiGiL, RIGHT HANDS GALORE!


**Commercial Break**

Team VIAGRA -c- v. Team Tampax

GP: Well, we're back, and it's time for the World Tag Title match!

Nikki: Man, though, Team VIAGRA has got their work cut out for them, because Team Tampax seems extremely focused.

JT: Yeah... watching porn, that is.

GP: Well, let's go to our ring announcer...

Ring Announcer: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the IWO World Tag Team Titles! First...

("The Theme From Ranma ˝" plays as AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Schitzo Tod... Team Tampax, walk down the aisle, accompanied by Pen. The Nude is nowhere to be seen. Oh, and Team Tampax gets a huge pop,
because it's Team Tampax.)

Ring Announcer: First... from Freakville, USA... weighing in at 234 pounds... he is the IWO Pacific champion... AWS MAN... (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)!! And his tag team partner... from Long Beach, California... weighing in at 215 pounds... he is the IWO Television champion... SCHITZO TOD!! Together, they are TEAM TAMPAX!!!!

GP: They may not be completely sane, but they've come to fight, and that's all that matters.

(After Team Tampax climb into the ring, "I Hope You Die" by the Bloodhound Gang starts playing as Team VIAGRA... the variation with High Flyer and Rob Kestler... comes out to a chorus of boos. They're accompanied by Kate Young and Tony Davis.)

Ring Announcer: And their opponents... being accompanied by Kate Young and Tony Davis... first, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 204 pounds... he is HIGH FLYER! And his tag team partner... from Minneapolis, Minnesota... weighing in at 313 pounds... he is ROB KESTLER! And they are the IWO World Tag Team Champions... TEAM VIAGRA!!!

(After Team VIAGRA climb into the ring, "Hail to the Chief" starts playing as Commish Ford, surrounded by a bunch of hot women, walks out to a massive pop. He has the stick.)

Commish Ford: Hey! HEY! You know, I might be the Commish and all, but I call it like I see it. Team VIAGRA, I have some news for you guys. The team of High Flyer and *TONY DAVIS* are the IWO World Tag Team
champions, and they are the REAL Team VIAGRA! So in other words... Kestler, get your ass out of MY ring, because I'm ordering that the team of Flyer and Davis defend the tag titles!

(Tony Davis is livid, and he grabs a microphone.)

Tony Davis: Hey!? I just wrestled LiGiL! You can't do this!

Ford: Tough cookies, Davis. Go play Sherlock to Flyer's Watson, and deduct an investigation right into an ass-kicking from Team Tampax. Good day.

(Ford leaves, as Kestler climbs out of the ring.)

GP: My God! What an announcement!

JT: Davis just wrestled LiGiL! This isn't fair!

Nikki: You may be right, but Ford made a good call. Kestler is not a tag champion, and Team VIAGRA is not the Triad!

JT: Screw the Triad!

*ding, ding, ding*

GP: Well, Tod and Flyer lock up... go-behind by Tod, and a single leg takedown! Flyer kips up, though.

Nikki: Tod with a side headlock on Flyer, but Flyer sends him off the ropes!

GP: Flyer with a spinning wheel kick on Tod!

(The crowd boos.)

JT: Hey... HEY! These people can't boo Flyer! He's one of the IWO's all-time greats!

Nikki: Flyer picks Tod back up, and sends him off the ropes, again! Tod ducks Flyer's clothesline... dropkick to the knee! Tod kips up! Dropkick to Flyer's face!

GP: Neat move by Schitzo Tod, as the IWO Television Champion takes down High Flyer.

JT: Tod makes the exchange to AWS Man (also known as Bill). Both men send Flyer off the ropes, Tod with a backdrop... RIGHT INTO AN AWS MAN (also known as Bill) POWERBOMB! What the hell kind of move was that!?

GP: A backdrop-powerbomb combo, obviously!

Nikki: Flyer's knocked silly, as AWS Man (also known as Bill) pounds away at Flyer... AWS Man (also known as Bill) sends Flyer into the ropes... back body drop... no! Flyer leapfrogs over AWS Man (also known as Bill)... he turns... DDT!

GP: Flyer rolls to his corner and makes the tag to Tony Davis! Davis measures AWS Man (also known as Bill)... clothesline takes him down.

Nikki: Davis with a vertical suplex to AWS Man (also known as Bill), into the floatover into the pin! One... two... no. AWS Man (also known as Bill) is too fresh to get pinned.

JT: C'mon, Davis! Don't let these Tampax losers beat you!

GP: Davis whips AWS Man (also known as Bill) into the ropes, but he ducks Davis's clothesline... but walks right into a jawbreaker!

JT: Yes! Come on, Davis!

Nikki: Davis is in the corner, now, and he wants AWS Man (also known as Bill) to get up... he does... SUPERKICK! Davis catches him with a superkick! Now he tags out to Flyer!

GP: Flyer leaps to the top turnbuckle as AWS Man (also known as Bill) tries to get up... missile dropkick! Flyer rolls into the cover! One... two... no! AWS Man (also known as Bill) kicked out!

JT: Now Davis comes back into the ring, and he and Flyer whip him in! Double hotshot to AWS Man (also known as Bill)! Flyer with the cover! One... two.. no!

GP: Flyer picks up AWS Man (also known as Bill) again, and hits a northern lights suplex! One... two... NO!

Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) barely kicked out of that.

JT: Duh.

GP: Now Flyer hits a Michinoku Driver, but he doesn't go for the cover.

Nikki: Flyer starts going up, he's looking for the Flying Moon Shot!

JT: He leaps... BUT AWS MAN (also known as Bill) MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! DAMMIT!

GP: AWS Man (also known as Bill) crawls to his corner, but Flyer takes the tag...

(The crowd goes ABSOLUTELY NUTS!)


GP: Flyer comes in, but he gets caught in a hurracanrana by Tod!

JT: Tod grabs Davis... TOMIKAZE! He goes for the cover! One... two... Davis kicks out at two!

GP: Flyer's back up, and he shoves Tod into the ropes! Tod ducks the clothesline, and catches Flyer with an inverted DDT! Cover, no, Davis makes the save before the one-count!

Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) is back in the ring, and he catches Davis with a clothesline!

JT: It's all broken down already!

GP: Tod and Flyer are brawling, now, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) catches Flyer from behind! Now AWS Man (also known as Bill) knocks Davis to the outside of the ring! AWS Man (also known as Bill) is signalling
for something, and hits Knock The Freak Out(Emerald Fusion) on Flyer! No cover!

JT: Tod and AWS Man (also known as Bill) climb up to opposite turnbuckles... point to each other...


JT: Whew! That was close.

GP: Now Davis nails Ssh!(Reverse Russian Legsweep) on AWS Man (also known as Bill)!

JT: Flyer is back up, somehow, and he and Davis signal for something!

Nikki: Davis takes Schitzo Tod up top, Flyer's up in another corner! Davis... SUPER ROCK BOTTOM! Flyer... FROG SPLASH!


GP: Flyer hurt himself doing that, though! Davis makes the cover, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes another save!

JT: Dammit! That's not right!

GP: Tod is knocked silly, though, but AWS Man (also known as Bill) catches Flyer with a powerslam!

Nikki: Tod's starting to move around, now, and he grabs Flyer!

GP: Tod and Flyer knock each other over the top rope! AWS Man (also known as Bill) whips Davis into the corner, but he hits the referee!

JT: What the?! Who's coming down to ringside!?

(The crowd goes absolutely nuts...)


GP: KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF(Thrust kick)! DAVIS IS OUT! AWS Man (also known as Bill) crawls over to Davis and makes the cover!



*ding, ding, ding*

(The crowd pops BIG.)



JT: Flyer's over with Jay and he shoves him!

GP: Flyer can't believe this!




Nikki: I don't believe it! Not at all!

JT: Jay rolls into the ring and starts humping Tony Davis's head!

GP: I... don't know what's going on here!

Nikki: That makes two of us!

JT: All I know is that Team VIAGRA lost!

GP: Jay's raising his arms, and Team Tampax are handed their belts! They raise their titles high, as they're the new tag champions!

JT: *sob* Now I lost MORE money on my bets! Argh! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera fades into the back as High Flyer is walking with Al Coholic. Coholic is dressed in complete black.)

Flyer:I can't believe it! Rob Kestler just screwed me out of the tag team titles! That bastard!

(Al Coholic simply nods his head yes in an agreeing fashion.)

Flyer:And I thought he was my friend....

(Flyer makes a sad face.)

Flyer:Well, I'm going to get my revenge on Kestler, Jay's going to go down too, not to meantion Phelen Kell...

(Al Coholic begins to grin. The two men leave the arena, talking somewhat. Davis is shown in a car, as all three of them leave.)

GP:Why in the hell are they leaving?!?!

(The camera fades into the back where Aaron Kain is talking with MDK about how he laided out LiGiL. LiGiL bursts into the locker room and takes out MDK with a chair shot. LiGiL immediatly goes after Kain with right hands, and sends Kain into his locker room wall. That women from earlier is shown cheering him on as he does one hell of a number on Aaron Kain. The camera fades back into the arena.)

Main Event
Handicap Match
Due to Jay's actions
Psycho Jay's hands will be handcuffed
Psycho Jay vs. Pure Attidue(Donnie Daze and Wesley Sanders)

GP: Ok Folks this next match could turn out to be extremely unpredictable.

JT: Could be unpredictable? I doubt anyone knows what's gonna happen in this match!

Nikki: These matches are really tough to call.

GP: The last time this sort of match happened in the IWO, it was Psycho Jay handcuffed and blindfolded in the center of the ring against the ENTIRE IWO....

JT: And he won!

Nikki: Not really.

GP: Well it turned out to be a screw over and former President John sided with Psycho Jay and the Usual Suspects and screwed over basically the entire federation.

JT: It was classic.

Nikki: I don't know about classic, but it was a huge suprise.

GP: Psycho Jay is at a definite disadvantage in this match, but with his hints at a new stable formation earlier this week as well as Rob Kestler turning on Team VIAGRA and costing them the World Tag Team Titles just
minutes ago!

JT: I have no clue what's gonna happen but I hope Jay goes back to his vicious days like when the screwover with John happened, Jay acting all goody goody and fighting with the Central Powers just doesn't become him.

Nikki: You only say that because you're biased against anyone who is decent and only like the ass holes.

JT: So?

GP: It's about time to get started let's go to special guest ring announcer Vincent for the announcements....

Nikki: Vincent ring announcer? In a Psycho Jay Match? Something's up with that.


(The crowd actually pops at Vincent insulting them.)


("Born of a Broken Man" by Rage Against the Machine blasts as Donnie Daze and Wesley Sanders come out onto the ramp to a huge chorus of boos.)

JT: Nobody likes these guys, and I mean NOBODY.

Nikki: Daze is kinda cute.

JT: But he's an idiot!


("Divine" by Korn.....yes, "Divine", not "Devin"...."DIVINE" by Korn blasts as Psycho Jay steps onto the antrance way with his hands handcuffed behind his back already. He makes his way down to the ring and rolls under the ropes.)

GP: Psycho Jay does not look happy about this situation at all.

JT: Well would you? Jay issued the challenge to take on BOTH Daze and Sanders in a handicapped match.....then Commish Ford made it even more handicapped by forcing Jay to wear those cuffs.

Nikki: Well not that Jay should be punished for it, but Ford did tell him to stay away from Evan Levine.

JT: But Jay was just doing one of his favorite activities, beating up Evan and humping his head.

GP: Well I don't know if there will be any head humping tonight JT, Jay has to hold someone's head still with his hands while humping and his hands are stuck behind his back. Now it looks like we're about to get
started.....Daze and Sanders are circling Jay, who's backed himself into the corner.

JT: Now that's smart cause if Jay can see both of them then he's got a better chance to defend himself.

Nikki: Daze starts to run at Jay, who immediately lifts his leg up....

GP: Daze put on the brakes just in time. Now wait......he's asking for a mic.

Donnie Daze: Hold on a minute. We all know that this match is never gonna end if Jay's handcuffed and backed into the corner. So Wesley, you've got the key.....unlock the cuffs and make this thing a little more

JT: Those MORONS! The only chance they had of beating Jay was with him cuffed!

GP: I don't know about that, but you would think two guys like that would take every opportunity they could get their hands on.

Nikki: Well, Sanders is reluctantly doing it.

GP: He unlocks the cuffs and Jay is free! Jay's shaking his arms to get the feeling back and looks steamed!

JT: Daze and Sanders are done!

Nikki: They better move fast befire Jay regains the feeling in his hands.

GP: Wait.....Jay points behind Daze and Sanders......Vincent has just entered the ring with a referee's shirt on! He smacks the IWO ref in the back of the head with his massive dong!

JT: What the hell?!

GP: Now Daze and Sanders turn back to Jay who runs at them with a double clothesline.....but stops?

Nikki: He stopped?

JT: Why did you stop? KILL THEM!

GP: Jay's extending his hand to Daze and Sanders.......THEY SHAKE HANDS?!?!?!

JT: What the fuck!

Nikki: Jay's shaking hands with Daze and Sanders?

GP: I cannot believe this, after all the things Jay said about Daze and Sanders in the past few weeks!

JT: Why would he want to align himself with those two LOSERS?

GP: Jay has a mic.

Psycho Jay: Fooled ya! Hahahaha!

(The crowd boos.)

Psycho Jay: Oh come on! Stop booing and hear me out people. I know what you're thinking, why on earth would the World Champion Psycho Jay team up with two insignificant scrubs who will never amount to anything in the IWO......well, I'll get to that later. But now it's on to other matters, earlier this week I mentioned forming a stable, a stable with members that actually cut decent promos, that can actually wrestle and be entertaining, and a group of wrestler that can kick the living shit out of the Central Powers, which by the way is the most generic 80's stable name in the history of mankind. So without further adeu......

("Stayin Alive" by Ozzy Osbourne as Rob Kestler comes out to a mixed reaction. He gets into the ring.)

Psycho Jay: That's right! Member Number One, Mr. Robert Kestler! Sure Rob was aligned with the idiot Central Powers, and sure he was playing Jenga behind my back with Team VIAGRA, but I think he's seen the error of his
ways.......right Rob?

Rob Kestler: Jay, me sowry. The Central Poopers polluted my brainy with all sorts of repititious thoughts of constantly talking about Candyland when we all know it's all about Jenga now. Jenga's where it's at and shit yo.
And plus those Central Poopers are meany poos who only want to hurt people, and Cassie told me that hurting nice people is bad and naughty like bodily contact between people. And I turned on Team VIAGRA because I vound out that High Flyer was collaborating with my arch-nemesis Plandeux and they were trying to hurt Cassie by making her look like a whore who kisses people. So in closing.....THE PORN N' GO IS BACK IN BIDNESS!

(The crowd pops.)

GP: Why does pornography get a pop?

JT: Because porn rules, right Nikki?


Psycho Jay: Thank you Rob, it's good to have you back. Now let's keep this thing going's my favorite prison inmate and yours.....SETH WEILAND!

(Seth Weiland, Chris Davidson and Koko B. Ware's bird Frankie come out and get into the ring.)

Psycho Jay: Welcome to the family guys, not like you ever left. Are you ready to dominate this fucking federation or what?

Seth Weiland: When that has-been Evan Levine fits it into his busy schedule to grace the masses with one of his compelling promos he always feels the need to drive home his goofy little moniker "The Real Heel." Well, Evan
take a long hard look because what your beady little crossed eyes are focusing on could be called "The Real Deal" Sure they rhyme but unlike so many of the dime a dozen comedy routines that clutter the locker room and collect pay checks by doing a poor man's spin off of Kestler or even everyone's favorite ignorant jack ass Chris Davidson I'm not trying to be cute here. I'm not trying to be funny or anything like that all I'm trying to be is
exactly what Seth Weiland is six foot seven inches and three hundred pounds of the most imposing violent man that ever enter the IWO. Unlike you Evan and the rest of the Central Powers I don't have some front office flunky by the same name spoon feeding us opponents and accomplishments.

{Crowd pops and a Seth chant picks up.}

Seth Weiland: If you people are looking for some manufactured hero to cheer the same way you have a manufactured heel keep looking because were not going to be the typical kiss ass baby faces If you like what we do and what we stand for whatever it doesn't make a damn bit of difference in how I go about doing what I need to that is run the Central Powers out of the IWO and make Evan Levine my bitch in the process. Tell them about it Chris....

{Seth hands the microphone to Davidson.}

Chris Davidson: I must admit tonight I am a bit torn between my spiritual convictions of loving others as my neighbor and passive resistance to a violent industry and absolute disgust over the truth that is staring everyone
in this ring right in the face. It's people like the Central Powers and Evan Levine more specifically that turned me off to wrestling in the first place. These guys with their high salaries and their heavily calculated overwhelmingly political pushes to the top of the card while people like Me and Seth sat at home watching one poorly booked show after another every time we would turn around there would be another member of the Central doing
another half-assed sneak attack that served as a mercy killing to some ridiculous gimmick match. Well, that forgettable chapter in this company's history comes to a close right now because from where we sit everyone
associated with the Central Powers and Commish Evan is going to have to go through us to earn the spots that they thought they had.

GP:It IS Vice President Evan by the way...

Chris Davidson: I know what "The Game" is thinking "What has this idiot done to earn anything who is
this rookie derp" Well in case you don't remember I did manage to give you the Superkick twice in a span of two weeks without one bit of retribution being exacted on me. I would have expected better from the Real Heel don't
tell me your so weak or lazy that you can't fight a pacifist, how pathetic. How low have you sunk Lavine not a punch not a kick not even a strongly worded letter? What gives Game? For once you had a chance to do a sneak attack that made since but you didn't. Where were you? I was really disappointed.

Frankie: ERAWKK, It must have been two for one night at the Man Hole!

Psycho Jay: Excellent,'s one that'll really suprise you!

("Bottom" by Tool blasts as Former IML President Nick Kostos makes his way out and gets into the ring. He stares at Daze.)

Psycho Jay: Well, what better addition to this band of hooligans than one of the biggest smart asses in the IWO!

Former IML President Nick Kostos: You see, stupid motherfuckers..

(The crowd boos.)

Former IML President Nick Kostos - You all fell for it didn't you! You really think me and Donnie Daze hate each other? Well, you're all wrong!

(Former IML President Nick Kostos and Donnie Daze hug each other. The crowd boos louder.)

GP: It seems like they're cheering the others but booing the fact that Donnie Daze is in the ring!

Former IML President Nick Kostos - I joined up with Psycho Jay, Rob Kestler and everyone else because quite frankly, I wanted to be a part of the most powerful faction to ever grace the IWO. Fuck The Ultimate Horseshit and Central Powers, THIS is the team to beat here in the IWO. And soon, we are going to hold all the belts in the IWO. And as for you, Evan Levine, answer my challenge you fucking pussy, or we will answer it for you. Suck my dick you fucking assholes..

(Former IML President Nick Kostos climbs to the top rope and teases pulling out his dick. The crowd boos.)

Psycho Jay: Ok, calm down there Nick, remember according to the Executive Board, we're the "good guys". Oh wait, newsflash you executive fucks, we're not good or bad. We just do whatever the hell we want, and if that
happens to be beating the Central Powers into non-exsistance then so be it. If the crowd cheers, fine, if not, oh well. Well, that about does it......

(Suddenly, "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits as God's son Jesus Christ makes his way down to the ring smoking a joint.)

Psycho Jay: Jesus, what do you want?

Jesus Christ: Like dude.....I was in the back getting high with John the Baptist and I saw you hip cats out here partying! So I was like, Jesus dude, you gotta go out there and join those gnarly guys. And those Central
Powers guys completely reek of suck, my daddie should have never created them. What do ya say?

Psycho Jay: Well.......sure why the hell not.'re probably wondering....what's this group of whackos planning on calling itself. Well, that's simple, it's obvious we've all grown up with heavy exposure to
porn, which all children should be because porn is so educational and neat. So we shall be called........THE CHILDREN......OF......THE.........PORN!!! HAHAHAHA!

(Donnie Daze goes to grab the mic, but Jay pulls it away.)

Psycho Jay: Settle down buddy, I still think there's something missing from this little ensamble.

Kestler: Why Jay....what ever could that be?!

Psycho Jay: A good tag team.....

("The theme to Ranma 1/2" plays as Team Tampax AWS Man(Also known as Bill), Schitzo Tod and Andrew make they're way out.)

JT: I'm confused.....I thought Pure Attitude was their tag team....

GP: I have no clue what's going on. Daze and Sanders look pissed at Jay and Team Tampax.....

Psycho Jay: Hey, calm down boys. Now when I first got on this mic I said that you all were probably wondering "why on earth would the World Champion Psycho Jay team up with two insignificant scrubs who will never amount to anything in the IWO".....and the answer to that question is simple.....I WOULDN'T!

(Psycho Jay turns and levels Wesley Sanders with the microphone! Davidson blasts Daze in the face with a super kick!)

GP: OH MY GOD! The Children of the Porn just turned on Pure Attitude!

Nikki: Already?

JT: Yes! I knew Jay wouldn't join those idiots.

GP: Now everyone in the ring are putting the boots to Wesley Sanders and Donnie Daze! Psycho Jay, Rob Kestler, Chris Davidson, Seth Weiland, Vincent, Former IML President Nick Kostos, AWS Man(Also known as Bill), Schitzo Tod, Andrew, and Jesus Christ!!!

JT: The Children of the Porn! HAHA!

GP: They're demolishing Pure Attitude! SUPERBOMB FROM JAY ON DAZE! CALL FROM BEYOND ON SANDERS! They're all taking turns punishing them!

JT: This is great! Now Jay's got the mic again.

Psycho Jay: Now you're looking at the REAL Children of the Porn! These two morons Daze and Sanders are the most hated guys in the IWO. Not because they're good and people don't like them, because THE ARE HORRIBLE! When I contacted Daze and told him I wanted him in this group, I knew his dumb
ass would believe me. All gullible rookies do. And his partner in more than wrestling Sanders fell for it too? IDIOTS! Sanders....I hope you know that this is the title shot I offered you....Vincent.

(Psycho Jay covers Sanders with his pinky and Vincent counts.....1, 2, 3.)


Psycho Jay: Thank you Vince. It's just the way things are now. People aren't "heels" because they are mean....people hate them because they suck so bad it's painful to watch them. Which is the case of Daze and Sanders as well as the Central Pussies.

Schitzo Tod : Hey, don't feel bad. You guys are still cool, for people that suck.

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : Yeah. Anyways, we're freakin' just joining because A) I'm Jay's freakin' lackey. 2) Tod is Kestler's lackey. And Fork) we can now freakin' finally carry out our master plan of being in
constant supply of porn!

Tod : YES! ... Wait, I thought our master plan was supposed to involvemaking Canada and Mexico fight a war, with the winner getting first dibs on South Carolina when all the other states turn on it!

AWS Man (also known as Bill) : (Thinks for a moment) Yeah, that freakin'sounds good too. We can have TWO master plans freakin'!

Schitzo Tod: I have but one thing to say... LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY! I'M ON TV! Oh, yes... Anyway, Evan Levine is crazy. He is so crazy that he thinks he is uncrazy, which makes him crazy. I also want to say that Andy Dick sucks! He didn't even give me an autograph. In conclusion, Tampax is way better then
maxi pads. Thank you...Wait... I forgot to say something. Central Powers, you are all a bunch of ass spelunkers. You know what that means? YOU GO SPELUNKING INSIDE THE ANAL CAVITY! What we have here (Motions around the ring) Is far better then anything you, and your shit faced rectum wart-heads could ever comprehend. This is special bond, we didn't get paid off to do this! Levine, you an your homosexual friends beter watch their backs. Oh, and Elian "Aardvark King" Gonzalaz... You have interfered in Tampax matches for the last time. I WILL destroy you. You and ALL of your Cuban comrades! MWAHAHA! I'm done now..

Psycho Jay: Thank you for clearing up the age old confusion over what an ass spelunker is we must go to the back and celebrate the only way we know how......goodnight.

(The Children of the Porn kick Daze and Sanders a few times each and leave.)

GP: A new stable! How will The Central Powers react? What will Daze and Sanders do for revenge? Tune in on Monday Night Meltdown to find out!
Main Event
Special Guest Referee #1:Al Coholic
Special Guest Referee #2:Rob Kestler
High Flyer vs. Phelen Kell

Team Tampax -c- vs. Pure Attitude

The Winds of Change vs. the Prime Time Soldiers

Mike Extreme vs. Shawn Arrows

Daze will wrestle twice
Donnie Daze vs. Rob Riot

Psycho Jay will be there! Commish Ford will be there! And so will VP Evan!