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Hostile Takeover
Live from Scranton, PA
Friday, October 6th, 2000
Main Event
Unnanounced

North American Title Match
Scott Stone vs. Aaron Kain -c-

Non-Title
Sam Potright vs. HIT

Dane Matthews vs. Fenix

AWS Man & Schitzo Tod vs. Wesley Sanders & Donnie Daze

("IWO-Online" is shown onto the logo, as it slowly fades out. This repeats three times until the logo erupts into the signature blue flame. It slowly fades out to darkness.

We fade into highlights of Autumn in Hell...

::The lights throughout the building shut off suddenly. Rob Kestler drops Psycho Jay and begins looking around. The lights return on to a dim gray as a familiar bass line begins to play. The fans explode on a moments notice at the sound as "Sober" by TOOL rings throughout the arena. Cut to a camera close up of Kestler in the ring, eyes wide. Outside the ring Evan Levine is going crazy, pulling at his hair. Appearing on the rampway as the
howling guitar solo begins...we see a man who has been gone for some time. "The Legend" Phelen Kell, in full wrestling garb.::

GP: OH MY GOD! MY GOD ITS PHELEN KELL! PHELEN KELL IS BACK! PHELEN KELL IS BACK! "THE LEGEND" HAS RETURNED!!!

JT: NO! NO! NO!

Nikki: HE IS SO HOT!

JT: SHUT UP YOU WHORE!

GP: HE'S COMING DOWN TO THE RING! HE'S JUST WALKING CALMLY DOWN TO THE RING! KESTLER IS JUST STARRING AT HIM!

JT: HERE COME THE CENTRAL POWERS! SYPHON FISSION SWINGS AT KELL! KELL DUCKS! A RIGHT! A LEFT! ANOTHER RIGHT! SYPHON FISSION GOES DOWN!

GP: LIGIL ATTACKS FROM BEHIND! KELL SWINGS AROUND WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK! LIGIL GOES DOWN! THIS IS INSANE! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!

JT: THIS SUCKS GIANT ASS! DAMN YOU KELL! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY RETIRED!?!?!

GP: HERE COME THE PRIME TIME SOLDIERS NOW! SCOTT STONE SWINGS A MIGHTY FIST! KELL BLOCKS IT AND KICKS STONE IN THE STOMACH! HE GRABS HIM BY THE HAIR AND THROWS HIM INTO THE GUARD RAIL! NOW TYLER JOHNSON COMES FROM BEHIND AND NAILS KELL ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD! KELL STUMBLES BUT TURNS AROUND AND SPEARS TYLER INTO THE CONCRETE! HE'S POUNDING ON JOHNSONS FACE! PHELEN KELL IS LAYING OUT THE CENTRAL POWERS!!!

JT: KESTLER IS WATCHING IN THE RING! HE'S JUST STARRING!!!

GP: HERE COMES EVAN LEVINE FROM AROUND THE RING! HE HAS A CHAIR! PHELEN DUCKS
A CHAIR SHOT AND STEALS IT OUT OF LEVINES HANDS! HE JUST MASHED IT OVER EVAN LEVINES SKULL!!!! PHELEN STANDS AND LOOKS TO THE RING! KELL AND KESTLER MAKE EYE CONTACT! KELL IS HERE FOR PAY BACK! HE SAW THE CENTRAL POWERS TAKE TRENT OUT AND HE'S HERE FOR THEM!

::A perfect camera angle showing Phelen Kell on the outside of the ring and Rob Kestler on the inside of the ring starring at eachother is on the screen. The fans are still going nuts as "Sober" continues to play. A close up
of Kells face is shown and snaps quickly into the ring as we see Psycho Jay roll Rob Kestler up!::

GP: PSYCHO JAY JUST ROLLED ROB KESTLER UP FOR THE PIN!!! THIS COULD BE IT!

1...........2.........3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GP: MY GOD! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! PSYCHO JAY HAS DEFEATED ROB KESTLER!

::Inside the ring as Psycho Jays music "Divine" by Korn begins to play we see a bewildered Rob Kestler sit straight up in the center of the ring. He looks at Phelen Kell who is standing on the outside of the ring looking back at him. Kell mouths something.::

Phelen Kell: An eye....for an eye.

Slowly, the highlights from Autumn in Hell fade out, until we're only left inside the jam packed _______ arena in Scranton. The fans are going crazy, as we fade around the ring to Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki, all ready to do some commentary for this monumental show.)

GP:WELCOME TO HOSTILE TAKEOVER! IF YOU MISSED AUTUMN IN HELL, DEAR GOD WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!

JT:I mean, the returns alone can make someone go crazy! Dane Matthews cost Fenix the Extreme championship as Sam Potright claimed that prize. Schitzo Tod and Andrew battled it out with lava monsters, godzilla's, and hell, Santa Claus even got involved!

Nikki:Think about the World Tag Team Matchup! Dear god! We saw Dane Wilt and Chris Anthony help team V.I.A.G.R.A. come out on top, defeating the Spaz Event in what could have been the upset of the year!

GP:Aaron Kain is our newest North American Champion, and god damnit, Phelen Kell made his triumphant return, helping Psycho Jay defeat Rob Kestler for the championship!

("Divine" by KoRn plays over the pa system as the fans immediatly erupt in one of the damn loudest pops of all time. Psycho Jay walks out from the back, carring the world title in his hands. He makes his way to the ring, and grabs a microphone. He pauses as he raises the world title to the fans, which receives a larger applause than before.)

Psycho Jay:And finally I've taken this world title from that poo face Rob Kestler. I told you Kestler that I was the better man, at Candyland, and even in the ring. You see, there's one thing that doesn't settle my stomach, and that's how I took the belt from Kestler. All because of the return of that poo-face.... Phelen Kell(The crowd immediatly cheers). Cheer all you want, but he destroyed one hell of a match. He wants to return and help myself? All I know is that he doesn't deserve that best Wrestler award he won earlier this month, and I'll be damned if he even THINKS about taking my World Championship. Kell, I don't like what you did, screwing my best friend out of the championship... it's a damn shame you poo-face!

("Sober" by Tool plays over the pa system as the fans deafenly cheer down the arena. Phelen Kell steps out from the back, as Kell and Jay look straight into one another's eyes.)

Phelen Kell:Listen Jay, now, I know you don't have any respect for me, but that's not what this is all about. Jay, it didn't matter if YOU were in the ring with Kestler, or if Dane Wilt was in the ring with him, I still would have done what I did. You see, McFarlane's career could very well be over, thanks to your best friend Rob Kestler and that Central Powers stable. I came to Autumn in Hell to watch McFarlane's pay per view debut against a mystery man, and what it came down to was the ending of his career, or damn close. Now, Jay, this isn't personal, but this isn't your business. It's between myself and the Central Powers...

("I am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays over the pa system as Evan Levine walks out from the back. Phelen Kell had made his way slowly down to the ringside area, therefore putting Levine all alone on the ramp. The usual monsterous cheering has turned into an ugly boo fest.)

Evan Levine:You see Kell, you're wrong with that. As long as Psycho Jay has that world Heavyweight Title, he's stuck in the middle of everything. You see what happened to McFarlane when HE got into the middle of everything, didn't you?

(Kell goes to go after Levine, but all of a sudden, most of CP walks out behind him. Kell immediatly backs off, since even the legend Phelen Kell can't take 6 people on at once when it's not a surprise.)

Evan Levine:That's what I thought Kell. All talk and can't back it up, huh? Well Kell, I promise you something, if you have the guts to get into the ring later tonight, I'll promise you that you'll regret it! It's called a surprise, and now that I will have the upper hand on you, you'll damn sure regret putting yourself in McFarlane's place!

(We see that most of CP has left to the back, as "Stayin' Alive" as preformed by Ozzy Osbourne is played over the pa system as the fans begin to give a mixed reaction. Cassie walks out from the back, receiving boos out of the stadium. Kestler walks out as well, behind her, receiving more cheers than boos.)

Kestler:Now Jay, you don't have to defend me. We all know it was a fluck and that I am still better than you at Candyland...

Psycho Jay:Maybe if you would stop worrying about that bitch you wouldn't care who's better at candyland.

Phelen Kell:You all seem to forget what's important, and that's that these two scrubs destroyed Trent!

(Kell charges at Kestler and begins to hammer him with rights and lefts. Kell gets the advantage as Jay immediatly comes down and begins to hammer it out with Kell. Levine grabs Jay, hammering away at him. Officials come down and immediatly break this up.)

GP:This is chaotic! All these men are just hating one another!

JT:Idiot! Kestler and Levine don't hate each other.... Kestler and Jay don't really hate each other! It's all Cassie!

GP:Whatever the case, we've got to take a commercial break!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera fades back in from the break in the backstage area. Evan Levine is trying to regroup, as out of nowhere Psycho Jay comes and knocks down Evan Levine. He proceeds to hump his head, as the camera fades right into Commish Ford's office. Commish Ford is watching what is happening on his television set, as he seems rather angry.)

Commish Ford:That's it! This is the last straw! Secretary! Get me the police!

GP:WHAT THE HELL!

JT:What is Commish Ford talking about!?!?

Nikki:Obviously he's upset at something, but what!

GP:Probably Jay and Evan's actions here tonight, but hell, we don't know what the executive board thinks at ANY time!

Fenix vs. Dane Matthews

{The scene opens back into the ring. Fenix and Dane Matthews are staring each other other down. The bell rings, and the two start to brawl.}

JT: WOW!

Nikki: Shut up JT.

GP: Fenix whipping Matthews into the corner, he's charging at him, but- NOBODY HOME!

{Dane kicks Fenix to the ground.}

GP: Dane Matthews is taking it to Fenix!

JT: And I want to take it to you, Nikki!

Nikki: Men, you're all alike, well, most of you are all alike.

JT: What do ya mean Nikki?

Nikki: What I mean is, Fenix just reversed a suplex!

JT: Oh...

GP: Now Fenix, dominating the match.

JT: Ouch! Fenix just whipped Matthew right into he ref!

Nikki: And the ref got knocked out cold!

JT: What! How can that knock out the ref!

GP: I don't know, but Fenix is getting a steel chair!

Nikki: Fenix is just beating on Dane Matthews with that chair! Will he show any mercy?

GP: I don't know but-

{The lights fade, and Orgy's "Dreams in Digital" begins to play. The lights then turn back on, and a dark figure is in the ring.}

JT: What the hell is this?!

GP: That shadowy guy has a chair! He just hit Fenix in the back of the head!

Nikki: he's grabbing a mic!

Shadowy Guy: My name is Benix!

{Suddenly he isn't a shadow anymore. He looks just like Fenix!

Benix: I am the clone of Fenix!

Crowd: *Gasp*

Benix: My goal is to kill Fenix, and I will be the best!

{Suddenly, 3 flying monkeys hop into the ring.}

Benix: What's this? Are you questioning my authority?!

GP: OH MY GOD! THE MONKEYS ARE EATING BENIX!

JT: Now, this is just fucked up right here…

Nikki: But, OH NO! Benix is raping all the monkeys! Stop it Benix!

{Suddenly "Homo Rainbow" starts up as the group NAMBLA approach the ring.

Leader: We are NAMBLA, and only we have the right to rape monkeys. Get him boys!

JT: AHH! THE NAMBLA BOYS ARE RAPING THE MONKEYS ALSO! WAIT, THE LEADER IS RAPING BENIX!

GP: Dane Matthews is getting up!

Dane Matthews: Damn, I wish someone would end this.

"Dragon Dragon, Rock the Dragon, Dragon Ball Z!"

JT: IT'S TRUNKS! TRUNKS IS COMING OUT WITH HIS BLAZING SWARD! HE JUST KILLED EVERYONE IN THE RING EXEPT FOR MATTHEWS AND FENIXS!

GP: Fenix is up Fenix is up!

Nikki: And they continue to battle!

A 4'th : (parachuting down from the ceiling) Wait up guys!

JT: The Monkey's parachute broke!

GP: It's falling down!

Nikki: It just landed on Fenix!

JT: AHH!

GP: The ref is up! Matthews Covers! 1 2 3!

Nikki: Dane Matthews wins!

JT: WAIT! IT'S A CHEW DRAGAN! A CHEW DRAGAN IS COMING TO THE RING!

Chew Dragan: MOOOOOOUTH! MAAAAAASTICATE!

GP: What the hell!

JT: AHH! Fenix and Matthews are beating up on the Chew Dragan!

Chew Dragan: DOOOOOOOON'T HUUUUURT MEEESA!

JT: NO! FENIX JUST KILED IT! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

GP: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK!

JT: WHAT THE *BEEP* IS WRONG WITH THE IWO THESE DAYS!!!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera fades into the backstage area as High Flyer and Tony Davis are talking. Rob Kestler walks up to them.)

Kestler:HEY GUYS!

Davis:KESTLER! YOU'RE NO LONGER A MEANY-POO! Care to rejoin V.I.A.G.R.A.?

Kestler:SURE!

(The three men hug, as the camera fades back into the ring.)

AWS Man & Schitzo Tod vs. Wesley Sanders & Donnie Daze

JT: Uhm... so, now we're getting to this match... are we going to see anything severely messed up?

GP: What do you mean?

JT: I mean, look at the Tod/Andrew match from the last Hostile Takeover, and while I'm at it, Autumn in Hell. I just figure that the Pillsbury Doughboy is going to interfere in this match, again.

GP: Blah. The Doughboy got banned from the IWO after he Final Giggled everything in sight, anyway.

Nikki: Whatever! Let's go to the ring!

("The Theme to Ranma ˝" plays as the crowd goes absolutely nuts for Team Tampax.)

Meygon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by the Nude and Pen! At a total combined weight of 449 pounds, they are the number one contenders for the IWO World's Tag Titles... TEAM TAMPAX!

(AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Schitzo Tod roll into the ring and do stuff that make the crowd pop repeatedly. Yay.)

Meygon: And their opponents!

(The crowd immediately starts booing the hell out of the guy whose theme music is "Murder" by UGK or whatever it is. I'm too lazy to look it up. But Wesley Sanders comes out to more boos. He walks to the ring.)

Meygon: First, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is WESLEY SANDERS!

(Sanders pauses in the aisle to wait for his partner. So "Born of a Broken Man" by Rage Against the Machine plays as Donnie Daze comes out to more boos, because he isn't exactly the most popular guy around
right now. He comes out with Sanders and slides into the ring.)

*ding, ding, ding*

JT: And the fight is on!

GP: Yeah, but the offical moves AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Wes Sanders out of the ring, so now we've got Schitzo Tod and Donnie Daze in the ring.

JT: Side headlock by Daze, but Tod sends him into the ropes! Tod ducks down, leapfrog by Tod... hiptoss by Tod!

GP: Now Tod has him in an armbar, but Daze rolls through... kip up, and reverses the armbar!

Nikki: Tod trips Daze, and runs off the ropes! Daze with the leapfrog, but Tod catches him in midair with an inverted atomic drop!

(Suddenly, "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin plays. That sound you hear is the spontaneous groan from the crowd.)

GP: What the HELL!?

JT: Oh no! Chris Chetti has come to kill us all!

GP: No! Up in the rafters! It's ELIAN GONZALEZ!

JT: THE AARDVARK KING HAS MADE HIS APPEARANCE!

Nikki: He's got a parachute and four aardvarks! He leaps!

JT: But he pops open his parachute and lands in the crowd! He's heading towards the ring!

GP: He's in the ring, behind the ref... MY GOD! HE JUST ANNIHILATED THE REFEREE WITH AN AARDVARK!

JT: AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Wesley Sanders immediately hit the ring and start brawling with each other!

GP: Elian releases his aardvarks and they all attack the four men!

JT: My GOD! An aardvark hits a flying crossbody on Donnie Daze!

Nikki: Another one hits a low blow on Wesley Sanders!

GP: DDT by another aardvark to Schitzo Tod!

Nikki: Where the HELL did these aardvarks learn how to wrestle?

GP: The, uh, Aardvark Wrestling Aacademy?

JT: ...

Nikki: ...

GP: Uh, anyway! Two aardvarks double-team AWS Man (also known as Bill)! One has him up... uh, Doomsday Device!

Nikki: Meanwhile, the King of Aardvarks lays in various right hands on to Wesley Sanders!

GP: Tod's back up, but Elian picks him up... AARDVARK ANARCHY ANNIHILATION(Dudley Death Drop)! 3A! 3A!

JT: Where do we come up with these names?

GP: I dunno. I just came up with it on the fly.

Nikki: Meanwhile, two more aardvarks beat up on Donnie Daze! One sends him off the ropes! Leapfrog... and another aardvark nails him with a superkick!

GP: Let us remind the folks at home that these are MUTANT aardvarks!

JT: Yeah.

GP: Neckbreaker by an aardvark to Wesley Sanders! Now Elian picks him up and they drop him with the Aardvark... uh... what did I call it, again?

Nikki: Aardvark Anarchy Annihilation?

GP: Yeah.

JT: Now Donnie Daze gets back on his feet, and he ducks a clothesline from an aardvark... DAZED AND CONFUSED(inverted face buster)! DAZED AND CONFUSED!

GP: Daze turns around, Elian has him up! 3A! 3A!

Nikki: The numbers are far too great!

(Suddenly, a masked man climbs into the ring. The aardvarks stop their beatdown.)

GP: Who the HELL is that?

JT: I don't know!

(The masked man unmasked. Elian is in shock, because it's...)

JT: MY GOD! IT'S ELIAN'S FATHER! ELIAN'S FATHER JUST BITCHSLAPPED ELIAN!

GP: But the aardvarks all jump him from behind! Now Elian recovers... 3A to Elian's father!

JT: Now they all pick up Elian's father... and Elian bitchslaps him!

GP: There's no end in sight to this aardvark madness!

Nikki: Wait! The Nude just climbed into the ring! An aardvark charges at him, but PEN! PEN JUST BITCHSLAPPED THE AARDVARK! PEN BITCHSLAPS ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER! AND THE OTHER ONE! Now it's just the Nude and Elian! Elian tries to get out of the ring, but the Nude catches him!

GP: The Nude scoops Elian up! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! ELIAN JUST GOT THE STREAK!

JT: Oh! And the icing on the cake! The Nude is humping Elian's head!

Nikki: Man! That's just VICIOUS!

JT: The Nude pulls Elian out of the ring, as the ref starts recovering!

GP: Yeah, but all four men are still out, and the only one that's still somewhat there is AWS Man (also known as Bill)!

Nikki: AWS Man (also known as Bill) gets up, but Wesley Sanders is strungling to his feet... KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF(Thrust kick)! AWS Man (also known as Bill) just KILLED Sanders with a vicious shot!

GP: Schitzo Tod's back on his feet, but Daze catches him with his Marco Polo Submission Hold(Katihajime)!

JT: Wait! AWS Man (also known as Bill) grabs Daze in a waist lock... GERMAN SUPLEX! BUT DAZE HELD ON TO TOD AND TOD TOOK A BIG FALL, TOO!

GP: I'm not sure who got the worst of that.

JT: Probably Tod.

Nikki: Wait! The aardvarks are back up, but look who's rushing down the aisle!

JT: Ravenous molemen!? OH MY GOD!

GP: They're restarting their long time feud! They brawl all the way to the outside and they're heading back to the dressing room!

Nikki: Meanwhile, back in the ring! Sanders is over to the ropes, and Tod's recovering from the weird katihajime-German suplex spot... FINISHING TOUCH... NO! TOD SLID UNDER SANDERS AS HE WAS IN THE AIR!

GP:Wait a second! What the hell!

(The camera shows Rob Kestler, High Flyer, and Tony Davis campaigning against Tampax. High Flyer holds up a sign that says "Pads are better," while Kestler and Davis are dressed like a Tampax and a Maxi-Pad. Davis, dressed as the Maxi-Pad, gets the advantage to Kestler.)

JT:What in god's name?

(Schitzo Tod is obviously confused in the ring...)

GP:DAZE! DAZED AND CONFUSED! DAZED AND CONFUSED!

JT:YOU'RE TELLING ME!

GP:NO! That's Donnie Daze's signature move! Daze covers Schitzo Tod! 1-2-NO!

Nikki:AWS Man (Also Known as Bill) just pulled the referee out of the ring! The referee is getting into his face, as we see Daze screaming at the referee!

GP:When the hell did AWS Man (Also Known as Bill) get out of the ring?

JT:It doesn't matter, look! TODMISSION ON DONNIE DAZE! DAZE IS FADING FAST!

Nikki:Sanders breaks it up, Sanders throws Schitzo Tod off the ropes, AWS MAN (Also Known as Bill) JUST KNOCKED SANDERS' HEAD OFF!

GP:KNOCK YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD OFF! AWS MAN (Also Known as Bill) just knocked out Wesley Sanders! Team Tampax up on opposite turnbuckles...

(Flyer, Kestler, and Davis forgo their costumes, as Flyer charges. He knocks Schitzo Tod off the top turnbuckle with his sign, as the referee rings the bell.)

GP:High Flyer just knocked Schitzo Tod off the top turnbuckle! Remember, these two teams square off next week for Team V.I.A.G.R.A.'s gold!

JT:And look, Team V.I.A.G.R.A. is trying to destroy Schitzo Tod and AWS Man before that happenes!

*Ding, ding, ding*

Nikki:The bell won't stop them.. DAVIS AND FLYER WITH THE HIGH AND LOW KICKS TO SCHITZO TOD! Dear god! They just took his head off!

GP:AWS Man (Also Known as Bill) charges at Kestler, and clotheslines him out of the ring. Flyer charges, KNOCK THE FREAK OUT! Flyer is down, and Davis slides out of the ring. He regroups Viagra on the outside!

JT:I can't WAIT until next week!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera fades back into the arena, as "Hail to the Chief" plays over the pa system. The fans cheer for Commish Ford, as he makes his way to the ring. Commish Ford, mic in hand, begins to speak.)

Commish Ford:Now, I personally don't like to be on IWO television, because we all know you folks would rather see wrestling inside a ring than myself talk. However, I must say something. From what I've seen here tonight, I'm actually rather sick of it. So, Evan Levine... Psycho Jay... I'm sick of you two fighting on MY show! I'm sick of you two being near another, and you know what, I've got a police order that states that YOU two can not get within twenty feet of one another on MY show! You got that Levine! You got that Jay!

("Divine" by KoRn plays over the pa system as Jay walks out from the back once more.)

Jay:What do you mean! I demand to know why I can't be anywhere near Evan Levine!

Commish Ford:You never thought you'd be saying that, would you Jay?(Ford laughs in the ring, receiving little response.) Well, not to meantion the fact that every week you come out here and fight one another, taking up MY television time, I quiet simply sick of the dominance that you've been having over him. I mean, Jay... there's only so many times you can hump someone's head before it gets old...

(The fans cheer as Jay bows to the crowd. "I am Your Boogieman" by White Zombie plays as Evan shows up over the big screen.)

Evan Levine:What the hell are you talking about! Ford! You are the most BIASED COMMISH ON THE PLANET! How in your right mind can you make jokes about your wrestlers. How can you say that about a man that would whip the ring with your sorry ass, or anyone in the IWO! You saw what I did to McFarlane, and if you get in the way like him, I will sincerly do the same to you.

Commish Ford:Evan! Is that a damn threat? Do you actually want to threaten a boss? That's it! Tonight, IN THIS VERY RING!(The fans cheer) Evan, you shall face off against team V.I.A.G.R.A.!!!!

(Evan is shown up on the big screen very pissed off. "Hail to the Cheif" Plays. The camera fades into the backstage area, as Phelen Kell is wrapping his fists in tape. High Flyer and Tony Davis approach Kell, who immediatly goes to his fighting position.)

Flyer:Woah there Kell... we're not here to fight. I know it was one year ago that you eliminated my shot at the world title, but hell, there's no hard feelings.

Davis:Yeah Phelen, we're not here to attack you or something, we actually kind of look up to you and Ashton...

Flyer:Yeah, you guys held the tag team titles for a HELLA long time, and we've got five months under our belt as we speak.

Phelen Kell:That's good to hear, but right now, I'm just trying to keep everyone off me. It seems everyone's gunning for good ol' Phelen Kell. When you're "The Legend," you've got one hell of a target on you back...

(All of a sudden, the lights go out in the backstage area. We hear scattering footsteps, as all of a sudden we hear a *Crash.* The lights come back on, as Phelen Kell is laid out by a glass bottle.)

GP:DEAR GOD! PHELEN KELL IS OUT! HE'S OUT! AND Team V.I.A.G.R.A. is gone!

JT:You think Flyer and Davis did this? Thanks to Wilt's coaxing?

GP:I don't know WHAT to believe!

**Commercial Break**

Extreme Rules
Sam Potright vs. HIT

GP: Let's get ready for HIT and Potright, shall we?

("I'm Gonna Kick Yo Ass" by The HIT plays as out walks Hardcore Icosceles Trapezoid.)

GP: This is his first match back, and... WHAT THE HELL?! Sam Potright takes down HIT from behind! Sam Potright takes off that Extreme Title belt and whips HIT with it! But HIT sweeps out Potright with his legs, and
crawls on top of him! HIT and Potright are fighting wildly in the entranceway! HIT grabs Potright by the hair... more strikes... HIT throws Potright into the guardrail!!! Rams Potright's face against the railing, and slams it
once! Twice!

JT: Once... twice... three times a lady...

GP: Oh sweet lord. JT is singing... and HIT is beating the hell out of Sam Potright! There's Beth Potright, Sam's wife, at the entranceway... I can't blame her for staying back there.

JT: Could she please turn around? Let me see that thong!

GP: How do you know she's -- POTRIGHT GOES HEAD FIRST INTO THE STEPS!! HIT JUST SENT POTRIGHT STRAIGHT INTO THE STEPS!!... How do you know she's wearing a thong?

JT: I have my sources...

GP: You mean that hole in the side of the women's locker room?

JT: Yes -- I MEAN, NO!!

GP: Well, I bet the girls are going to tear you apart when the show's over... HIT now laying the boots to Potright. Has this match even started?

JT: Nope.

GP: Hmmm... HIT goes for a boot, low blow by Potright! Potright kicks him the abs, and he gets to his feet! Potright now with punches to the forehead of HIT, he grabs the steps that he just got thrown into, AND THROWS THEM AT HIT!! HIT dodges them, but gets thrown into the steel post for his troubles! Potright goes and grabs a chair... SLAMS IT OVER THE HEAD OF HIT, NO, HIT BLOCKS IT WITH HIS FOREARMS!! HIT kicks him in the stomach, slams it while Potright still has his hands on it! But Potright wants more! Potright
is CLAMORING FOR MORE PUNISHMENT! HIT takes the chair, and CRACKS IT OVER HIS
SKULL!! But Potright still is asking for pain! This is crazy! The Chief of Circles goes for it again, and Potright almost falls back... and now HIT gives him the chair!

JT: Oh great... this is going to be like Cactus Jack and Terry Funk, I bet.

GP: You're damn right, as HIT asks to be hit! Potright swings... NO! It was a trick! HIT rolls out of the way, and hits a drop toe hold, throwing Potright's face into the chair! Potright is bleeding! Here come referees to break it up... they're pulling the two apart... BUT POTRIGHT LOW BLOWS A REF!! HIT ELBOWS ONE IN THE FOREHEAD, AND THEY GO AT EACH OTHER AGAIN!! THIS IS CRAZY!!!

(Beth is heading towards the two...)

Beth: Stop this! STOP IT!! I'VE SEEN ENOUGH!!

GP: Potright with a fist to a referee... he grabs the referee, HE'S GOING TO BREAK HIS LEG!!! HE'S GOING TO DO IT!!

JT: Um... his hair has blue streaks in it, Greg...

GP: You mean...

JT: Yes...

GP: It's not even Potright anymore! It's Lunatic Pandora who's going to break the referee's...

*SNAP!*

GP: NOOO! THERE GOES OFFICIAL TOMMY DETRIE'S LEG!!! THESE TWO ARE GOING CRAZY ON THE REFEREES, AND NOW THEY GO BACK TO EACH OTHER!! POTRIGHT AND HIT WANT TO HURT EACH OTHER BADLY!! WILL SOMEONE BREAK THIS UP!!!

(Pandora pushes through a wall of refs... he goes under the ring...)

GP: LADDERS!! LUNATIC PANDORA HAS JUST PULLED A LADDER FROM UNDER THE RING!! HE'S GOING TO USE IT AS A BATTERING RAM!! HE RUNS TOWARDS THE REFEREES, THEY SPLIT LIKE THE RED SEA, AND HE STRIKES HIT IN THE RIBS!! HIT is down, and Pandora raises the ladder in victory!!

(Suddenly, Pandora drops the ladder and rubs his forehead... and those blue streaks in his hair slowly recede.)

GP: It looks like Potright has managed to overtake Pandora for the time being. Potright grabs HIT, rolls him in the ring, and the refs follow. Potright turns around and pushes a ref down! The others scramble off... HIT with a low blow! He laughs at Potright and imitates him... POTRIGHT GRABS HIM, LIFTS HIM UP, WAR WITHIN A BREATH (Evenflow Implant DDT)!!! HIT'S HEAD WAS JUST SPLATTERED INTO THE MAT!! POTRIGHT IS NOT HAPPY, AND HE PULLS HIT UP... tosses HIT into the ropes, but HIT rolls out! HIT is taking a
break... BUT POTRIGHT WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE!! HIT INTO OUR TABLE, AND POTRIGHT HOPS TO
THE TOP ROPE!! Potright measuring the distance... he JUMPS... AND HIT HOPS BACK!!

*CRACK!!*

JT: AIIIIIE!!!!

GP: JT, SHUT UP!!! POTRIGHT IS LAYING IN A MESS OF WOOD AND WIRING AT OUR FEET!! HIT TAKES ADVANTAGE AND PULLS HIM OFF OF IT! HIT ROLLS POTRIGHT INTO THE RING... HE GOES UNDER THE APRON... AND PULLS OUT A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE!!

JT: A rusty butter knife?

GP: BUTTER KNIFE! HE'S GOING AFTER POTRIGHT WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE! FOR GOD'S SAKE... THIS IS INSANITY!!

(HIT gets close to Potright, and reaches for his tights...)

JT: Why is he trying to pull Potright's pants down?

GP: Who knows, but I bet it has to.. OH GOOD LORD, HE WOULDN'T!! HE PROBABLY WANTS TO CASTRATE POTRIGHT!! BUT POTRIGHT KICKS THE KNIFE OUT OF HIT'S HANDS, AND KICKS HIM BACKWARDS!! HIT STUMBLES BACK... OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! BETH POTRIGHT WAS ON THE APRON!! HIT JUST KNOCKED BETH POTRIGHT ALL THE WAY INTO THE GUARDRAIL!!! DAMMIT, SHE HAS TO BE HURT!!

JT: I wonder if she'd notice anything "special" happen to her if she's unconscious...

GP: JT, you are a sick, sick, man.

JT: Why thank you.

GP(shakes head): Well, Potright has rolled from the ring... this is bad... he's picking up his wife... he's heading towards the back, the blood flooding down his face... I doubt he wants to continue.

(Potright heads down the entranceway with Beth in his arms... HIT asks for a microphone.)

HIT: Hey, Potright!

(Potright turns around with Beth in his arms.)

HIT: You know something... you might think you're hardcore because you've got some title... but I, THE UNQUESTIONABLE QUADRILATERAL ANGLE KING, am surely more hardcore than you! Think about it... out of more than FOURTY men that battled on a series of scaffolds... I was ONE of FOUR that survived it!
And if it wasn't for that damn Danny Tanner... I'd have taken it all! You, on the other hand... what have you had? The Trick or Treat match? Sure, that was definitely hardcore, but still... YOU JOBBED IT OUT!!

(Potright watches on... Beth's still unconscious.)

HIT: Hey, how about this... how about... TRICK OR TREAT 2!!!

(The crowd blows the roof off... but quickly quiets down.)

HIT: We'll raise the stakes, Potright... you'll find out how, eventually. On October 29th, Potright... you can carry your woman to the ring... you can carry your title... but I might as well carry both out, since I know
what PARALLEL ANGLES ARE ALL ABOUT!!!

GP: Ouch.

JT: That was a stinger.

(Potright looks at him with slit eyes... before a single, slow nod... and he walks backstage to get medical attention for Beth.)

GP: Well, hot damn... did we just see a match be set up for Fear the Darkness?

JT: I think we did.

GP: Now, I need to figure this out. Was that an official match, or was that not a match?

JT: Who cares? We saw BLOOOOOD...

GP: Oy vei. Me and this guy working side by side... say, where's Nikki?

JT: Yeah... my cheeks feel fine.

(Nikki walks down the aisle, and heads straight to the announcer's table, or what's left of it. She sits down and pulls her headset from the wreckage.)

Nikki: Sorry... my "friend" visited during the commercial break. I miss anything?

GP: Um... no...

Nikki: Then why is HIT in the ring?

GP: Um... the match is about to start.

Nikki: Really?

GP: Um... yeah... HERE COMES POTRIGHT!!

(HIT is laughing in the ring, as Potright runs down to the ring... he has a 2x4...)

GP: THE STREAKS IN HIS HAIR!! HE'S LUNATIC PANDORA!!! AND HE JUST CRACKED A 2x4 OVER THE BACK OF HIT'S HEAD!!! HE IS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF HIT WITH THAT BLOCK OF WOOD!!! WILL SOMEONE END IT FOR GOOD?!!!

(Referees race out again, this time with a net and chains. Five referees toss the net over Pandora, and the rest chain him down. The others toss chains around HIT, who's trying to get off his stomach and to his feet. They
drag the two off...)

*Commercial Break*

North American Title Match
Scott Stone vs. Aaron Kain -c-

GP:Well, after a wild and crazy night, we come back to Scott Stone fighting Aaron Kain for the North American title inside his hometown in Scranton, PA. Will Stone be able to regain the championship he lost only weeks prior? Or will Kain actually defend the championship, unlike so many before him...

JT:Wow... what dramatics Greg.

GP:Thank you. That's what they pay us to do you know. They pay us to hype the match.

Nikki:I thought they paid me to smack JT around...

*Smack*

JT:Ow women! I didn't do anything!

GP:Let's get to the ring...

Meygon:This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IWO North American Championship!(The fans cheer) Introducing first... the challenger...

("Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit hits the speakers as the people in Scranton begin to do that Rollin' motion thing.)

Meygon:He hails from right here in Scranton, PA, and is one half of the former World Tag Team Champions the Prime Time Soldiers, here is Scott Stone!

(Stone walks out from the back, along with Tyler Johnson. He actually recieves more applause than boos, because hell, this IS his hometown.)

Meygon:And his opponent...

('Kim *Aaron Kain edit*' by Eminem plays over the pa system.)

Meygon:He is the current IWO North American Champion, and he currently weighs in at 226 pounds. He hails from Jacksonville, Florida... here is Aaron Kain!

(Aaron Kain walks out from the back along with MDK. They both make their way to the ring, as he slides in.)

GP:Well, MDK will probably cancel out Tyler Johnson on the outside, however you never can tell with Johnson and Stone. They are considered one of the better tag teams in IWO History.

JT:But this isn't a tag team matchup, and Tyler Johnson isn't anything without Stone in his corner...

*Ding, ding, ding*

Nikki:Both men come out swinging, Stone getting the worse of the exchange. Kain grabs Stone and tosses him off the ropes, Stone ducking a clothesline, back off, Stone with a huge running dropkick sends Kain down to the mat.

GP:Stone immediatly back up to his feet, sending Kain reeling with a couple of huge right hands! Kain gets thrust into the corner after a huge right by Stone, as Stone grabs Kain, throwing him back off the corner. Kain hits the corner hard, comes back out...

JT:FATAL FACIAL!

Nikki:That was damn near like a Stevie-kick! He just bounced out of the turnbuckle, hitting it sternum first, and caught Stone with the Fatal Facial! Dear god! Stone is out!

GP:Kain with the elementary cover, 1-2-NO! Tyler Johnson just threw Scott Stone's foot onto the bottom rope!

JT:Kain jumps to the outside and begins to hammer it away with Tyler Johnson! The referee can't disqualify Stone, because as much as he knows, Kain just prevoked the attack!

Nikki:Stone grabs Kain by the hair, and brings him back on the apron. Kain goes for a wild right, but Stone blocks it, hooks Kain, and brings him in the hard way! Vertical suplex.

GP:Stone is having the definite advantage. Stone goes for a ddt, but Kain shoves Stone off. Stone hits the ropes and comes back, Kain goes for a clothesline... SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!!! DEAR GOD! STONE JUST TURNED THAT CLOTHESLINE INTO SUICIDAL TENDENCIES! AARON KAIN IS DOWN AND OUT!

JT:That's the inexperience Greg... Nick would have known about Stone's main move before hand.

GP:Scott Stone is climbing to the top rope, he's going for Stoned...

Nikki:IT'S LiGiL!!!

(LiGiL jumps into the ring, and grabs Kain. He nails him with a standing Palindrome with Stone's back turned. The referee calls for the bell.)

GP:WHAT THE HELL! LiGiL just attacked Aaron Kain!

JT:He just laid Kain out! Kain is out cold in the middle of the ring, but he may have just stolen the North American Championship away from Scott Stone!

Nikki:That's exactly what Stone and LiGiL are screaming at each other about. Oh, we could see this erupt!

(Cooler heads prevail, as both men head to the back.)

**Commercial Break**

Main Event
Evan Levine vs. Team V.I.A.G.R.A.

GP:Oh boy, this match was made earlier in the evening by Commish Ford, and Evan Levine is definitly going to have his hands tied behind his back.

JT:He is! That's not fair! It's already two on one!

GP:I mean he's going to have to fight his way through a situation that isn't exactly grade A for Mister Levine.

JT:Oh...

Nikki:Team V.I.A.G.R.A. are going to have five people lining the ringside area... while Evan will be all by his lonesome self...

GP:Let's get this over with...

Meygon:This next match is a handicap match, and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Philadelphia, PA...

('I am Your Boogie Man' by White Zombie plays over the pa system as Evan walks out from the back. He looks very angry.)

Meygon:He weighs in tonight at 249 pounds, and is considered Perfection Personafied... here is Evan Levine!

("I hope you Die" by the Bloodhound Gang starts up as the fans begin to cheer for team V.I.A.G.R.A., because hell... they are only minutes away from Flyer's hometown as well.)

Meygon:And introducing next,they are the current IWO World Tag Team Champions, and weigh in at a total of 441 pounds. Here are Tony Davis and High Flyer... team V.I.A.G.R.A.!

(The entire team V.I.A.G.R.A. collague comes out, Tony Davis, High Flyer, Rob Kestler, Chris Anthony, and even Dane Wilt. Wilt is in the back, studing to become a better pornography man, as Chris Anthony is shouting words of instruction at Flyer and Davis. Davis and Flyer slide in, as Levine stares a hole at both men.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:Levine comes charing out and catches Flyer with a huge right hand. Levine clotheslines Tony Davis up and out of the ring, as Levine goes right back over to Flyer.

Nikki:Levine throws Flyer off the ropes, as he comes back, big back body drop sends Flyer down hard to the mat!

GP:Levine goes right back to Flyer, as he picks him up for Conceptual Perfection! No! Flyer slides down behind Levine... Flyer NAILS COLD SNOW(Side Embrace DDT)!

JT:Dear god! He just may have broke Evan Levine's neck!

GP:Flyer makes the tag to Davis, who has made his way back onto the apron. Flyer catches Levine with a couple thrust kicks, as Davis slingshots his body into a shoulder block, knocking Levine down to the mat.

JT:Now it's just complete double team. Davis grabs Levine, and rolls him in an arm bar, Flyer's tagged in, and goes for a side kick...

Nikki:Davis let go of Levine's arm, as Levine grabs Flyer's boot! Levine grabs Flyer, and takes him over in a head and foot suplex! Dear god! Flyer's neck just bounced off the canvas!

GP:Davis charges Levine, who sends Davis into the corner. Levine goes for a bunch of right hands... but Dane Wilt comes flying into the ring... FACE LIFT! HE JUST KNOCKED EVAN LEVINE OUT COLD!

*Ding, ding, ding*

Meygon:Your winner, via disqualification... Evan Levine!

JT:I don't think they care... it's a four on one assault... Levine is pushed to the outside...

Nikki:Levine isn't finished! Levine grabs a chair, and slides in! Levine takes out Flyer with a HUGE chair shot! Swinging towards Wilt and Anthony, they bail out of the ring!

(All of a sudden, "Divine" by KoRn plays as Psycho Jay runs out from the back.)

GP:IT'S PSYCHO JAY! PSYCHO JAY HITS THE RING! Rights hands repeatedly to Evan Levine, and a HUGE double arm ddt!

JT:Jay sets Levine up top... SUPERBOMB! SUPERBOMB BY JAY RIGHT INTO THE MAT!

Nikki:Psycho Jay just destroyed Evan Levine! Oh my god!

(All of a sudden, Viagra catches Psycho Jay with a total elimination, which shocks the entire crowd.)

GP:OH... MY... GOD! What the hell!

JT:Davis and Flyer just caught Jay with the double kicks!

Nikki:What the hell was that for!

GP:I have no clue! Flyer and Davis! Look! They're proud of what they did!

(Swarms of Police begin to race down to the ring. Team V.I.A.G.R.A. helps up Evan, as Jay begins to regain his senses. Jay starts going for Team V.I.A.G.R.A., but the police stop him in his tracks, and proceed to cuff Psycho Jay.)

GP:The police are arresting Psycho Jay! I can't believe this! I simply can't believe this! Jay isn't going down without a fight! He's going to be charged with assaulting a police officer for sure!

(Jay knocks down an officer and proceeds to hump his head. The fans cheer, as all of a sudden, the police put handcuffs on Evan Levine as well.)

JT:This is chaotic! The ring is littered with Scranton Police members! They just cuffed Evan Levine!

GP:What the hell is going on! Team V.I.A.G.R.A. just leveled Psycho Jay, helped up Evan, and now both Evan and Jay are being arrested!

Nikki:Team V.I.A.G.R.A. is heading to the back, the entire team, as Jay and Levine are being thrown into the police car. I think we're going to have to head to a commercial break to clear this up...

**Commercial Break**

GP:We just saw Team V.I.A.G.R.A. lay out Psycho Jay... apparently helping Evan Levine, as then Levine and Jay were both arrested...

JT:Stupid police department. When will they realize that they shouldn't go around arresting the victims of this fine country!

(We fade back into the arena, as "Sober" by Tool begins to play over the pa system. The fans erupt into cheers as out from the back walks Phelen Kell. He makes his way to the ring, and slides in.)

Phelen Kell:Well, it seems like Evan's little surprise doesn't seem to be going down tonight. Due to the police force here in Scranton arresting Evan, it seems as if the surprise is on Evan's shoulders. However, I want to know who laid me out in the back. Flyer, Davis, I think it's you, but I have no proof. I have no chance to tell if it was you two or not, but I want to know who hit me over the head with that beer bottle!

GP:That's right! I want to know too!

(All of a sudden, "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit plays over the pa system as out from the back races the Prime Time Soldiers. Scott Stone and Tyler Johnson slide into the ring, as Kell immediatly drops the microphone. Kell tries to fight the two men off, but it doesn't seem to be working.)

JT:They couldn't have done it! Why in god's name would they have attacked Phelen Kell!

GP:They are in Evan's little stable, why wouldn't they?

("Hot Dog" by Limp Bizkit plays over the pa system as the fans being to look towards the entrance ramp way.)

GP:What the... IT'S AL COHOLIC! COHOLIC RACES OUT HERE! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME! I THOUGHT HE WAS INJURED!

Nikki:COHOLIC SLIDES IN, CHAIR SHOT TO SCOTT STONE! STONE GOES FLYING! COHOLIC THROWS THE CHAIR AT TYLER JOHNSON! JOHNSON GOES FLYING OUT OF THE RING!

GP:AL COHOLIC JUST HELPED PHELEN KELL! MY GOD!

(Coholic and Kell are seen looking face to face, eye to eye. They shake each other's hands, as they both appeal to the fans. They receiving one of the loudest pops of all time, until a shatter of glass cuts through the fans cheer.)

Nikki:AHH!!!!

JT:DEAR GOD! AL COHOLIC JUST LAID OUT PHELEN KELL WITH A GLASS BOTTLE!

GP:COHOLIC JUST LAID OUT KELL! DEAR GOD! WAS IT COHOLIC ALL ALONG?!?!?!

(The camera fades out to Al Coholic standing over a fallen Phelen Kell, half of a glass bottle left in his hand.)

**Fade Out**

Hostile Takeover
October 13th, 2000
Main Event
As Ordered by the Front office for Jay's Actions on Takeover
*Psycho Jay's hands will be cuffed behind his back*
Psycho Jay vs. Pure Attitude(Wesley Sanders and Donnie Daze)

World Heavyweight Tag Team Title Matchup
Team V.I.A.G.R.A.(Rob Kestler and High Flyer) -c- vs. Team Tampax(AWS Man & Schitzo Tod)

Tony Davis vs. LiGiL

Atlantic Title Match
Should Arrows win, he shall recieve another shot at the I.C. tag team championships next Hostile Takeover with a partner of his choosing.
Shawn Arrows -c- vs. Joey Malone

Extreme Title Match
Mystery Death Match Rules
Special Guest Referee:Hardcore Isoceles Trapezoid
Sam Potright -c- vs. Dane Matthews

United States Title Match
Mike Marchese -c- vs. Cyanide

Will Coholic Explain his actions?
Will Kell take Coholic out?
Will Evan have his head humped one more time?

Tune in to Hostile Takeover Next week!