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Hostile Takeover
September 22, 2000
Live from Pittsburgh, PA
Main Event
NA Title Match
LiGiL -c- vs. Syphon Fission

If Fugite wins, he retains his spot in the NA title match(Schitzo Tod)
If Psycho Jay wins, he gets porn.
Psycho Jay vs. Fugite

Women's Championship match
Meygon -c- vs. Rob Riot

Three Rivers of Destruction.(Stone)
We all know that Pittsburgh has three major rivers surround in the stadium for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and now, in this match, anything goes, but the winner has to throw the loser into each of the three rivers... just for kicks.
Scott Stone vs. Sam Potright

Wes Anderson vs. Nicholas Kain
=============================
(We open up to the scenes of the fading IWO online logo, until Lightning crashes into it, erupting the logo into flames. The camera fades into the arena as "Darkness" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play, trying to overshadow the screaming fans inside of Pittsburgh. The camera fades down to the announcers booth, as Greg Parker, JT, and Nikki stand, all holding microphones.)

GP:Hostile Takeover! Another week, and we are ready to bring you a simply beautiful show!

JT:I can really groove to this Rage stuff...

Nikki:You haven't heard Rage before?

JT:Ha! Jamie's a Rage freak. Hell, I said I somewhat liked them and he wanted to push me to the US title.

Nikki:You just made that up in your dream, didn't you.

JT:Nikki, if I would have dreamt it, why would I go after the United States Title.

GP:Guys, this isn't some kind of psyciatric care here, we don't discuss dreams, we watch reality. And the reality of it all is that Commish Ford must be angry like all hell after being arrested on Monday by Vice President Evan!

JT:I was talking to him earlier, and he said he had something big for Evan later in the night.

GP:You weren't talking to Commish Ford! That was the television with an old video tape from the IML2!

JT:No wonder he kept saying VP Eric Yun. I just kind of considered he didn't know who VP Evan was...

GP:JT, that is totally screwed up!

(The camera opens up to the backstage area. Wesley Sanders wheels a suitcase into the arena, as the fans cheers for Sanders.)

GP:What the hell is Wesley Sanders doing here! He's not scheduled to be here tonight! What in god's name!

(IML President Nick Kostos comes out of nowhere and nails Wesley Sanders with a pay per view transcript. Kostos motions over.)

GP:What the hell is IML President Nick doing!!!

(A big trash dumpster comes out from behind the scenes, as Former IML President Nick dumps transcript after transcript of Malice, Chaos and Carnage, and all the former Pay Per View's he's done! There's probably one of those event in there too.)

GP:Former IML President Nick Kostos is dumping former transcripts onto Wesley Sanders, burring Sanders under a mountain of transcripts! Dear god!

Former IML President Nick Kostos:That'll teach you to defy authority!

(Nick Kostos leaves as Fred the Accountant follows him. The camera fades to a commercial break.)

**Commercial Break**

(The camera opens up to the backstage area, as Mike Marchese stands there playing with a rubix cube. He flips the cube and plays with it until he raises the cube up into the air.)

Mike Marchese:YES! I HAVE FINALLY DEFEATED THE RUBIX CUBE!

(Marchese turns the cube around, only to realize that he only has one side done.)

Mike Marchese:NO! This cube is defective!!!

(Marchese tosses the cube into a box labeled "Defective Rubix Cube's," which is fairly full. Tha Enforcer walks into the room, as he sees the box filled of defective rubix cubes.)

Tha Enforcer:What the hell are you doing?

(Marchese turns around, droping another rubix cube and a playboy.)

Mike Marchese:Oh, you're just Mike Extreme. I thought you were my mother or something.

Tha Enforcer:I'm not Mike Extreme! Extreme is dead! I am Tha Enforcer now.

Mike Marchese:What are you the enforcer of?

Skip:Beastiality?

Mike Marchese:SKIP! That isn't cool! Sorry Mikey boy, but I've got to give Skip a stern lecture.

(Marchese turns back around and begins to mumble something to himself. Tha Enforcer grabs the box full of rubix cubes and clocks Mike Marchese in the back of the head!)

GP:MARCHESE IS LEVELED! Tha Enforcer is standing over a fallen Mike Marchese, taunting him!

JT:Mike Extreme really showed up Mike Marchese!

GP:Urgh... Tha Enforcer is just stomping on the box full of rubix cubes, as IWO Official comes out from another room.

(The officials drag Tha Enforcer out of the room as the scene cuts to Team V.I.A.G.R.A. wandering the halls, carring the tag team championship.)

Flyer:This is totally going to reek...

Davis:FLYER! I know they're hillarious but we're not like Michael Dudley. We don't beat up our brothers and marry our sisters!

Flyer:What about the Spaz Event, are we like them?

Davis:Not really, cuz we're good.

Flyer:But they beat us twice! Are they gooder?

Davis:All I know is by the time Sunday rolls around, we'll be a cohesive unit that will "Rock the Spaz Event's World." I've got it all figured out. I got ourselves a cool trainer!

Flyer:Really! I mean, I have lost my edge lately...

(Flyer makes a sad puppy dog face.)

Davis:But somehow we're still tag team champions. Go figure!

(Davis stops, as Flyer continues to walk. Davis grabs Flyer by the arm, and pulls him back.)

Davis:This is the room... Come on Flyer... Hostile Youthness awaits!

(Davis opens the door as Team V.I.A.G.R.A. make their way inside.)

GP:Where the hell are Team V.I.A.G.R.A. going! Fans, we'll be right back!

**Commercial Break**

Wes Anderson vs. Nicholas Kain

GP:I wonder how Nicholas Kain is actually going to compete this week, when on Monday Night Meltdown, another long lost Kain brother injured his older brother...

**Tape Footage**
Nicholas: Well I'm telling you to get the fuck outta here!

Aaron: What if I don't... big brother!

Nicholas: I'll make your ass get out and embarrase you in front of this bitch of yours!

Dawn: What did you say?

Nicholas: I said bi...

(Dawn Racy motions like she's gonna slap Nic but Aaron pulls her back. Nicholas takes advantage and pushes Aaron Kain down to the floor. All hell begins to break loose as they brawl all over backstage. Officials come and break it up as MDK comes sneaking up from behind and STRIKES Nicholas Kain in the head with a lead pipe as hard as he can!!!!!!!!!!! Nicholas Kain falls to the floor unconscious!!!!!!)

AK: OH MY GOD! DID YOU JUST SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!

JS: Nicholas Kain's career may be over!

MR: WHY DID MDK DO THAT!?!?!
**End Tape Footage**

GP:This is going to be crazy....

Meygon:This match is scheduled for one fall, and is scheduled for a twenty minute time limit...

('Undying Love' by Nas plays as no one comes out.)

Meygon:Nicholas Kain???

(No one still comes out)

Meygon:Nicholas Kain!?!?!

(Aaron Kain walks out with MDK. They get into the ring, as Aaron Kain grabs a microphone.)

Aaron Kain:Just because Nicholas Kain doesn't believe you fans should see greatness, I guess I'll waste my time with some jerk named Wes Anderson!

('The Great' by DMX plays as Wes Anderson races out from the back. He slides in, as Aaron Kain kicks Anderson in the gut.)

GP:Kain picks up Anderson, TIGER DRIVER!!!! Kain stays on the cover! 1-2-3! He just defeated Wes Anderson in record time!

(Aaron Kain leaves as Commish Ford walks out to "Hail to the Chief.")

Commish Ford:Hey Anderson... YOU'RE FIRED! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, AND NOW YOUR GONE! YOU GOT THAT!!!

**Commercial Break**

Women's Championship Matchup
Meygon -c- vs. Rob Riot

JT:Oh boy have I been waiting for this matchup! Rob Riot will fight Meygon for the Women's Championship! Dear god this has to be humiliating!

GP:Especially for Riot. Consider what would happen should he lose to Meygon!

Nikki:Well, Commish Ford is getting fairly angry about the slackness of many of the IWO officials, and the demands Riot made seemed to overshadow what he's been doing here within the IWO, so, Ford gave him the title shot he wanted, just not for the title he wanted.

GP:Let's just get to the ring.

("Still D.R.E (Instrumental Version)" by Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg plays as Riot walks out from the back.)

JT:No intro's, because Meygon's ready to kick some ass!

("My Own Prison" by Creed plays as Meygon walks out from the back, holding the Women's Championship high in the air. Meygon gets into the ring, as Riot and Meygon begin to talk.)

GP:Dear god! Meygon's getting down to her knees... this can't be good. I mean, just look at her history...

(Meygon begins to unzip Rob Riot's pants, but cradles Riot up. A referee slides into the ring.)

1.....2.....3!!!

JT:Oh my god! Riot is pissed beyond belief!

Nikki:Meygon just beat him! Meygon just beat Rob Riot!

(Rob Riot grabs a microphone.)

Rob Riot:That's it! Commish Ford, I want my North American Title Shot! And you know what, I want it right now, right here!

("Hail to the Chief" plays over the pa system as out from the back walks Ford. He stops up on the apron, as he congratulates Meygon on her win. Meygon heads to the back to get changed.)

Commish Ford:Hey Riot, I never thought attempted falashio could actually hurt someone, but it seems like you paid the price, didn't you.

(Riot stomps around in the ring.)

Commish Ford:But it is a shame. I mean, Rob Riot, IWO Women's Champion. Wouldn't that just be so fitting? I mean, I've seen you dancing around and prancing in mini-skirts around the backstage locker room, so I figured you might be a worthy champion. Too bad Riot, I mean, you could have actually accomplished something here in the IWO!

Rob Riot:Listen here Ford, you better put me into that North American Title Match at Autumn In Hell before I kick YOUR ass!

Commish Ford:Oh, what a threat. I mean, you couldn't even defeat Meygon! You're worthy of nothing!

Rob Riot:You really want me out of here, don't you Ford? What did I do to you?

Commish Ford:Hmmm, let's see, you wanted a title shot when you didn't do jack sh*t to deserve one! Am I right when I say that Riot? You've cut one god damn interview this entire month!

Rob Riot:Look at the talent Ford... Just look at it!

Commish Ford:Come on Riot, you really want that NA Title Shot? You're going to have to earn it... Next Saturday, Autumn In Hell, Rob Riot will face Donnie Daze. Should Daze win, he shall recieve a shot at the television title, and should Riot win, you shall get your North American Title Shot. However, Riot, if you lose this match, I PROMISE you that you WILL Receieve your termination notice, and I will HAND IT TO YOU FACE TO FACE, so Riot, you better pull your act together in a weeks time, or else you'll be waving bye bye to the IWO, and hello to the streets of America! And I don't think a Brit is going to fair well on the streets of America... 8 Days Riot... 8 Days...

(Ford drops the microphone as Riot stomps around in the ring. The camera fades to a commercial break.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: What the?

(Suddenly a choir of angels emerge from the back singing, "Under the weight of the WOOD".)

Angels: Lord let me walk......that last mile in your shoes.....under the weight of the wooood.

JT: What the hell if I wanted to hear that crap I would go to church!

Nikki: It's God!

GP: God is following the angels down to the ring along with his son Jesus Christ.

(The angels surround the ring and God steps in along with Jesus. God holds his hand out and a microphone appears in it.)

JT: Did you see that?!

Nikki: Quiet our Lord is speaking.

God: Hello My creations! It is I, God. Now as you, my followers, have seen in the past few weeks, your maker has been in a sort of "slump". This is because I have had to face two PEONS, one goes by the name of ARF
Man(Also known as Biff) and the other named Donald Dazz, and as you all saw I completely dominated them, like any creator would do to their unruly subjects. But alas, the lawyers from Time Warner, acting on behalf of
that heathen Ted Turner, opt to issue me subpeonas and threats during my matches, and while I am distracted my lucky opponents get a quick pin upon me. Now I say this....these Time Warner attornies are an ABOMINATION! If I wanted to, I could strike them down! I could UNCREATE them!

Jesus Christ: Yeah daddio! Put the smack down on they're legal as....

God: Jesus Christ be quiet! I told you not to use that gutter talk around me young man. Now I know all of you "fans" out there, whom I created. Would love to see me, as you say, "beat the crap out of" Time Warner's
associates. But, being all loving and all forgiving......I forgive them.

Jesus Christ: Dad! Me and Moses could take those jive turkeys out in a....

God: SILENCE! GOD HAS SPOKEN! But I warn you dirty little men, do not test the patience of God. Remember Sodom and Gomorra? Don't forget the 40 days and 40 nights! If you keep this treachery up then God will not be so lenient. Now one more thing I must address before I depart is my record in the IWO. 0-2? I think not. God does not go 0-2, and he especially does not go 0-3! So what God is going to do right now is issue a challenge to
anyone in the back! ANYONE. To take me on in the ring tonight! And if Commish Tom attempts to stop it then I shall unleash a plague on him!

(Suddenly freaky Japanese music plays as EYE SUK comes to the ramp.)

Eye Suk: Gawd. U wan feight. U feight mee.

God: OH MY SELF! You have to be joking. You are one of my worst creations! I created you after losing a bet to Lucipher on the 1957 Superbowl!

Eye Suk: U sae mee knot cweate wight? I Suck weel taek U owt l8ter 2nite!

God: Fine you unholy waste of creating time! I will see you in the ring later tonight since nobody else has the guts to take on their creator!

Jesus Christ: Yeah you gatorade brain, and my dad is gonna like kick your as....

God: Jesus!

Jesus Christ: Sorry:-(

(God and Jesus Christ leave the ring.)

GP: We've got an unscheduled match tonight! God vs. Eye Suk!

JT: If God cannot defeat Eye Suk then there is definitely something wrong!

Nikki: Well at least give Eye Suk credit for accepting a match with Yahweh.

**Commercial Break**

Three Rivers of Destruction.(Stone)
We all know that Pittsburgh has three major rivers surround in the stadium for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and now, in this match, anything goes, but the winner has to throw the loser into each of the three rivers... just for kicks.
Scott Stone vs. Sam Potright

GP: Welcome to our next match! It's between our former North American Champ Scott Stone and Samuel Potright! The only way you can win is if you dunk all 3 of your opponents in the 3 Rivers of Pittsburgh! The Alleghany,
Monongohela, and the Ohio rivers! Both men are starting out at the 50 yard line at 3 Rivers Stadium!!

*Game clock buzzer sounds, and "Let's Get Ready To Rumble" begins to play as they both lock up..*

GP: And we are underway!! Scott grabs Potright and slams him onto the grass, but Potright just get's right back up!!

Potright: Duh! That is grass you moron!

*SMACK!!*

GP: OHH! Stone just nailed Potright with a spray can! The ones they spray paint the end zones with!

JT: HA! Steelers suck anyway!! Hey isn't this Scott's home state??

GP: Yes Scott happens to live 5 1/2 hours away in Scranton!

JT: WOW!

Nikki: Yes I know where his home is!

JT: I bet you do you slut!

*SMACK!*

GP: Stone and Potright have made there way to the stands, where there is absolutely no one there! Stone and Potright are just throwing right's and left's back and forth! Stone finally wins a fist war and scoop slams
Potright and is carrying him down! They are back on the field and Stone throws Potright across the field goal post! Potright is unconscious! Stone grabs Potright and is gonna carry him to one of the rivers!!

JT: They are in the back now and Scott see's Kordell Stewart!!

Scott Stone: Kordell Stewart! You used to be good!

Kordell Stewart: Man my name is slash man! Don't call me Kordell! Bitch! I'm the backup quarterback for the Steelers! Bitch! I played for college with Colorado! Bitch!

Scott Stone: Umm, ok!

GP: Stone is still carrying a unconscious Samuel Potright! They have made it to the outside and Stone is gonna go to the Ohio River first! He crosses the street, and flings Potright in!! Potright wakes up immediately!! And
flips Scott off!! Scott say's he isn't jumping in after him but Potright dares him!!

JT: HAHA! Potright knows exactly what he's doin! He's movin closer to the edge and Stone is gonna pick him out, but Potright grabs his arm and flings him in with him! And Stone has gone in to!! Potright is running to find
a weapon and Stone gets out and is chasing after him! HAHA!!

Nikki: Scott Stone is such an idiot! What was he thinking?!?!

GP: Well look back in the ring here! Nicole and Beth Potright are in a big battle!

JT: Titties! YAY!!!

GP: Well let's go back to the action where Scott and Sam are now fighting by the Monongohela!! Scott grabs Sam and flips him over, bu Sam just dodges falling in the river! Sam gets up and with a strong power clothesline
and Sam slips on the wet grass and almost falls in!!

Nikki: Phew that was close!! Hey JT are Nicole and Beth still going at it??

JT: Uhhhh...yea..titt-ays!!

Nikki: Well..Sam Potright now in control of this match and is starting to dominate Scott Stone. He grabs him by the hair and flips him onto the concrete road! Here comes a car! Sam is gonna let the car run over Stone! Sam
turns his back and covers his ears! But no! Scott dodges and Potright doesn't know it! He turns around to see Scott's body, but it isn't there! Potright turns around..

*SMACK!*

GP: OOOHHHH!! Stone just nailed Potright with a stop sign! Potright falls right down! Stone stomping away on Potright. He picks him up and flings him against a road block. Stone grabs Potright again and once again throws
him into it! Potright is down and out! Stone picks him up! And is gonna climb a telephone pole! He lays Potright on that road block, and what is Scott gonna do!?!?!

Nikki: Greg, I think he's gonna climb that telephone pole, which is directly above the road block, and do some type of move off of it and connect it on Potright!!!

GP: But that is retarded! It'll hurt both men!

Nikki: Scott has made his way up, and he is slowly making his way over so he is directly above the road block, Scott almost slips and hurts himself, but he keeps his balance!

GP: This is gonna be crazy! Scott makes a suicidal leap, and LANDS WITH A ELBOW DROP..BUT POTRIGHT MOVES! SCOTT'S ELBOW NAILS THAT CONCRETE ROAD BLOCK! SCOTT IS DOWN AND IS IN MAJOR MAJOR PAIN!!

Nikki: Ouch that has to hurt!!

JT: Nicole has one nice ass! But so does Beth!!

GP: Potright picks up Stone, AND A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! And he throws Scott in the Monongohela!! Stone is just 1 river away from losing!

Nikki: Scott is now making his way out of the Monogohela, and he is searching for Sam Potright! Where did Potright go! Wait look out behind you Scott!!

GP: OHH! Potright just missed with that broken telephone wire! He was gonna whip Scott with it but Scott moves and connects with a super kick to the face of Sam Potright! Scott is still fighting by the Monongohela, somewhere
Sam Potright doesn't and cannot be at! Scott grabs Potright and flips him over onto his back! He is stomping away on the man that is in the lead of this match!

Nikki: This is one helluva match Greg!! Scott grabs Potright once again and bring him to the side of the road where a broken down car is just sitting there! Scott goes on the car..SUICIDAL TENDENCIES ON THE CAR!!!
POTRIGHT IS OUT!!

GP: Scott throws Potright onto the road, and what is Scott gonna do now!?!? He is going to the roof of the car, and what's he signalling for??

Nikki: It's time for the Senton Bomb!!

JT: Also known as 'Stoned!'

GP: He's gonna do a Senton Bomb right onto Sam Potright! AND HE CONNCETS!! WHAT A MOVE! SCOTT STONE ALOT OF ATHELTICISM IN THIS MATCH!!

Nikki: Now all he has to do is bring Potright over to the Monogohela and throw him in..since it is the closest river!! He has him by the hair, and throws him right in!! Potright tries saving himself but he just gets
hurt even more! Scott is being transported over to the road by the Alleghany while he awaits Sam Potright who is just getting out of the Monongohela!!

GP: They are now transporting Potright over, and while Stone is waiting Potright is healing from his injuries. Allowing Scott to heal from whatever ones he had! Potright get's out of the car and Stone comes running
after him, but Potright moves and Stone goes flying into the car! His body is half way in! Potright slams the door on him! Who is gonna go in the Alleghany first!??! Is it gonna be Scott Stone or Samuel Potright!??! Who knows!?!?! Who's it gonna be Nikki??

Nikki: I think it's gonna be Sam Potright. He seems to be having a hard time in this match!

GP: And JT??

JT: Nicole and Beth sure would look good in my bed! Huh? Oh yeah I think so to!

GP: Umm..ok.

Nikki:Dear god! I don't like that look from Sam... that's satanic!

GP:Potright jumps into the car, and begins to grind the engine.... you don't think....

(Potright puts the petal to the medal, and then jumps out of the car at the last second, sending Stone inside the car into the allegheny River.)

*Ding, ding, ding*

GP:Sam Potright is mad Man!!!

JT:I don't think he calls himself Sam Potright when he's crazy Greg.... I think it's Lunatic Pandora right about now...

Nikki:Potright... Lunatic, whatever... he's looking over the river bank and watching the car dive further down into the bottom of the ocean! Dear god! Scott Stone is trapped in there!

GP:Well, we do have IWO officials going in there to dig that car up.... he won't be down there for long at all... and there's probably oxygen tanks inside the car anyway...

JT:Why would that be in there?

GP:FENIX FROM BEHIND! HE JUST NAILED PANDORA WITH THE EXTREME TITLE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! POTRIGHT GOES FLIPPING INTO THE ALLEGHENY RIVER! DEAR GOD! POTRIGHT IS BEING PUSHED DOWNSTREAM!

Nikki:Look at Fenix, he's stoking that belt like it's a guitar! HAHA!

**Commercial Break**

(The camera opens up to the backstage area, as Shawn Arrows is seen walking with the Atlantic Title. Samatha Arrows is with him.)

Samatha:Shawn, I really wish you would give up this wrestling thing. I mean, how many times do you have to defeat Lance?

Shawn:Well, the devil keeps coming back for more. What do you expect me to do? Lye down for that skater? Hell no Samatha... I can't do that.

Samatha:When will you think about your health! The doctors said one more major shot to the head and you could become disabled, possibly retarded.

Shawn:That's just mumbo jumbo to scare me Samatha. Look at Troy Aikman, how many concussions has he had...

(The Devastators, Dustin Dachey and Devon Dice walk up to Arrows.)

Devon Dice:Hey Shawn! You ready for the big match where the Devastators become I.C. tag team champions?

Shawn Arrows:Listen here Dice, I didn't like you in IML2, and I still don't like you, and I'm telling you two right now, that if I get the shot to pin the Winds of Change, I WILL take those two I.C. tag team championship belts for myself, you got that!

Dustin Dachey:Just because we beat you in IML2 doesn't mean you have to get lip with us.

Shawn Arrows:You're damn lucky too, but you guys never did get those belts back, did you... that's what I though...

(Arrows walks away, as the camera fades to Lance McNally's dressing room. He is seen eating chinesse food and laughing hysterically at a three stooges movie.)

McNally:Awh man, Larry always cracks me up!

(A knock is heard at the door, as McNally stands up from his sitting position. He opens the door, only to see the I.C. tag team champions there.)

Daniel Phillips:Hey Lance, we've got to talk about Saturday.

McNally:What about it?

Joey Malone:Well, I know you want to get another pinfall over Shawn Arrows, and win that Atlantic championship strap, but I also know that the Devastators have been walking around calling themselves the greatest IML2 tag team of all time. We would love to show those two guys up.

Daniel Phillips:Disgrace the belts we so proudly held...

(Janitor # 7 walks into the room.)

Janitor # 7:Hey Daniel... I'm all done mopping up your room, want me to take care of the front of the Devastator's locker room?

Joey Malone:Sure!

(The Janitor walks out as McNally sits down again.)

McNally:So, what do you guys have in mind?

(They begin to talk as the camera fades to a commercial break.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: Well, Psycho Jay is now scheduled to take on Fugite, but... Where are they?

{The scene fades into the backstage area where Fugite is sitting. Psycho Jay then waks up to him.}

Psycho Jay: Look Fugite, You and I both know that I can kick your ass. So, lets just call this match off. I have better things to be doing the fighting a worthless person like you.

Fugite: Sorry to disappoint you Jay , who is Gay, but you are not getting out of this match so easily!

Psycho Jay: Ya know what? If you just say that I'm the better man, we can just leave this alone.

Fugite: Jay, you are so Gay, you think I will call you a better man? Shame on you. Shame on Jay, who is Gay!

Psycho Jay: Okay, that's it... First off, you can't seal other people's jokes about me. Especially if they are Levine's jokes. They aren't funny coming from him, and they certainly are not funny coming from you.

Fugite: Whatever I'm going to beat you down.

Psycho Jay: Please, don't make me mad, all you have to do is say: Jay, you are better then me. And I'll leave you alone.

Fugite: No way, I'm gonna be all over your shit nagsta poo!

Psycho Jay: Now... That didnt even make sense. Fugite, this is your last warning...

Fugite: Man, don't be crampin' my style! Gay bitch, Jay bitch, Gay Shmay Jay bitch!

Psycho Jay: That's it...

{Jay lunges at Fugite, punching his face as the scene fades back to the announce table}

*DIND DING DING*

If Fugite wins, he retains his spot in the NA title match(Schitzo Tod)
If Psycho Jay wins, he gets porn.
Psycho Jay vs. Fugite

JT: What the hell?!

GP: I guess this is the match!

Nikki: Well, they are not in the ring, what's going on?

GP: Wait, I'm getting a message over my headset hear. It looks like Commissioner Tom has changed the stipulations based on what Jay told Fugite. Psycho Jay and Fugite can wrestle anywhere in the arena. It's like a
hardcore match, but in order to win, one of these men will have to admit that the other is better!

JT: That's just screwed.

Nikki: I actually like the idea!

{The scene fades to the parking lot, where Psycho Jay has brought Fugite.}

Psycho Jay: Now, will you say it?

Fugite: (with a busted lip) Nev-owie!-er

Psycho Jay: Okay...

{Psycho Jay rams Fugite's head on the hood of a car. He then begins to poke Fugite's eyes with his fingers.}

Psycho Jay: Look, this is getting old...

GP: Well, we are hear watching this is and- Oh! Jay is dominating by far...

JT: Come on Fugite, don't let gay old Jay treat you like this...

Nikki: Psycho Jay is pounding on the head of Fugite!

Psycho Jay: Now?

Fugite: ack-dor... ouch!

Psycho Jay: ...okay, you're only making this worse...

{Jay DDT's Fugite onto the hood of a car.}

Psycho Jay: How about now?

Fugite: okay, you...are... better!

Psycho Jay: Say what? I can't hear you!

{Jay starts punching away at Fugite's chest.}

Fugite: YOU... ARE... BETTER THEN.. ME! PSYCHO JAY IS BETTER THEN I, FUGITE!

Psycho Jay: That's more like it..

*DING DING DING*

Nikki: Psycho Jay has won the match!

GP: Turn around Jay!

JT: Ha, he can't hear you!

GP: Evan Levine is sneaking up on Psycho Jay with a sledgehammer! He's swinging! OH! PSYCHO JAY JUST DUCKED, THE SLEDGEHAMMER JUST HIT FUGITE IN THE ARM!

JT: What?!

GP: JAY JUST KICKED LEVINE IN THE GUT, AND NOW HE'S HUMPING HIS HEAD! PSYCHO JAY IS HUMPING THE HEAD OF EVAN LEVINE!

Nikki: The ring attendants are making their way down to Jay and Evan and they are breaking it up.

JT: Evan! I can't believe that sick bastard is humping Evan's head!

GP: Wow! We'll be back right after this!

**Commercial Break**

(The scene opens up in front of the Devastators locker room as the door opens. Samantha Arrows walks out, as she all of a sudden slips and falls, hitting her head on the cold hard concrete. Shawn races out to grab her in his arm.)

Shawn Arrows:What the hell happened! God damn somebody call an ambulance!

GP:I think that was from the Janitor! The Winds of Change janitor must have tried to cause that to happen to the Devastators, but Samantha Arrows fell victim! Oh boy does this ever twist sundays event!

Nikki:We should head out for a commercial break while the medical crews attend to Samantha Arrows...

**Commercial Break**

(The camera opens up outside of a locker room with a star on the door. The star however doesn't have a name, as we see High Flyer and Tony Davis walk out of it. A voice is then heard, obviously being disguised.)

Voice:See you guys tomorrow. We'll work a little bit more...

Flyer:See ya.... dude!

(The door closes behind him, as Davis and Flyer begin to talk.)

Davis:I can't believe we got that!

Flyer:I know! That was totally re.... cool!

Davis:I know...

(All of a sudden, tons of Viagra pills fall from the ceiling, causing Flyer and Davis to slip and fall onto the concrete floor.)

GP:Dear god! Flyer and Davis have been drowned in Viagra!

JT:You think that people would not reuse things, wouldn't they?

(The camera pans up to see the Spaz Event laughing.)

Spaz:That was an awesome idea by President Nick! Too bad I didn't have enough transcripts... this one from the first IML show ever is pretty intresting...

(Spaz and Sullivan climb down from where they were perched, as they read the transcript, walking away from the wrecked tag team champions. The camera fades to another commercial.)

**Commercial Break**

GP: Next up we've got an unscheduled match that I assume has been approved by Commish Tom.

JT: I'm telling you, if God can't beat Eye Suk then there is seriously something wrong with this world.

Nikki: Do you guys really think this guy is God?

JT: Just to be sure I'll believe it.

GP: No comment....now I've just recieved word that this match now has an added stipulation! If God defeats Eye Suk then he will UNCREATE him!

JT: Oh boy, looks like Eye Suk's exsistance is over.

Nikki: Now I'll believe that when I see it.

JT: And I'll believe that you don't have crabs when I see it.

*SMACK*

GP: Let's get this thing started.

Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall......introduing first, from somewhere in Asia.........EYE SUK!

("Get Jiggy With It" by some over-rated rapper who sucks plays as Eye Suk comes down to the ring waving the American flag!)

GP: What on earth is Eye Suk doing with that damn flag?

JT: Being patriotic I guess.

Nikki: He's got a mic, ugh.

Eye Suk: U Amureecan aww suck! I suck speet own u fag!

JT: Oh no! Eye Suk is spitting on the american flag!

(Suddenly the choirs of angels emerge singing "Under the weight of the WOOD")

Angels: Lord let me walk.......that lonely road with you.......under the weight of the WOOD. Lord let me walk.......that last mile in your shoes.......under the weight of the WOOD!

GP: Oh my......GOD. God just came down from the ceiling and nailed Eye Suk with a giant leg drop! Eye Suk is crushed! God goes for the cover......1......................2....................THREEEEEEEEEEEEEENO!

JT: It's those Time Warner guys again!

GP: Three Time Warner lawyers just entered the ring and broke up the pin! Now they're putting the boots to God!

Nikki: God's fighting back though!

GP: God just tosses two of the lawyers out of the ring with each hand! What strength by our creator. Now he has the third lawyer cornered! The lawyer is begging for mercy.

JT: Never trust a lawyer!! Even tough you would think he wouldn't lie to God.

Nikki: I don't think God is going to have mercy on this one.....

GP: NOOOOO!!!!!! LOW BLOW! GOD IS DOUBLED OVER!

JT: You can't low blow God......can you?

GP: Well that son of a bitch attorney just did and now Eye Suk is back to his feet.....he rolls up God.......1...................2......................THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! OH MY GOD!

JT: That is insane! That had to be a fast count!

Nikki: Eye Suk just defeated God?

GP: My GOD this is a travesty!

JT: I'd stop using God's name in vein Parker, he's looks ticked off.

Nikki: You'd be mad too if you lost to Eye Suk!

GP: Well it looks like Eye Suk will remain created.

JT: Unfortunately.

GP: Now the Time Warner lawyers and Eye Suk are outta here and God grabs a mic.

God: Enough! Ted Turner.....God is sick and tired of your meddeling. You keep sending your men to lost me matches......FINE. I'll see you in court this weekend pal......and we'll see who has the rights to
the name GOD! And if it comes down to it then God will issue a challenge to as many as your corporate thugs as possible to a GUANTLET match at Autumn in Hell! God will dominate all of your holligans.....and keep MY name.
Now as for the three men who attacked Me tonight..... I forgive you my sons.....but don't EVER let it happen again!

GP: What a forgiving Lord!

JT: I still say God should just uncreate all of them and get rid of them forever.

Nikki: Well that wouldn't be very nice of him.

GP: Yeah well we could argue about this all day, so let's just drop it OK?

**Commercial Break**

Main Event
NA Title Match
LiGiL -c- vs. Syphon Fission

GP:This is for the North American Title. Most of the matches today have involved the participants in the North American title match, and it's been shown that should LiGiL win, it shall be a one on one matchup with Aaron Kain to defend the championship.

JT:But what happens if Fission wins?

GP:Then I guess it will be a three way dance, I'm not exactly sure how it's going to be worked out.

("Hail to the Chief" plays over the pa system as out from the back walks Commish Ford. He takes a seat up near the announcers position, and shakes hands with both Greg and Nikki.)

Commish Ford:Hello fellow IWO co-workers, how is everything today? Enjoying the show?

GP:Well, better than last weeks show.

JT:Yeah, last weeks show just scared me.

GP:Well, Ford sent a message, and at least it got to some people.

Commish Ford:People like Riot don't even get it anymore though. That's why Saturday they'll be eliminated.

GP:I think this Autumn In Hell Pay per view is the first IWO pay per view that's not being held on a Sunday.

Commish Ford:Yeah, well, I hate Cleveland, what more do I have to say. I mean, they change the bookings for the event twice now. One more time and I WILL sue them for all their worth.

GP:So, how's Autumn In Hell looking to be? Can you run down the card for us?

Commish Ford:Well, that's what I actually came out here to talk about. I've been working through some things, and I've decided on a few more matches to be booked. I mean, we've already got Jay and Kestler for the World Title, the participants for the North American Championship. The World tag team championship will be defended as well, not to meantion the six man tag for both the Atlantic and Intercontinental Tag Team Championship. Wesley Sanders is scheduled to face former IML President Nick in an IWO grudge match, which was signed a few weeks back. The Extreme title shall be defended in a Cleveland Pawn Shop match between the current champion Fenix and Sam Potright. The Women's title will be on the line in a three way dance, as well as a match booked Monday by VP Evan, Schitzo Tod and Andrew. Even though those two made up, Schitzo and Andrew still fight on Saturday.

GP:Are there any more matches you've decided to add to the card? I mean, Daze and Riot was just added tonight, not to meantion the participants to the NA title decided here as well.

Commish Ford:Well, yes. I was looking down the sheet, and I decided to book a three way tag team match, the winner facing the world tag team champions at Utter Oblivation between the Prime Time Soldiers, Team Tampax, and the Suicide Kings. I had to wait on this because Stone could have been included into the NA title match, but he lost his match earlier in the evening. AWS Man vs. Cyanide was also confirmed for sure, as those two will battle it out for the vacant Pacific Championship. I was contemplating adding another man, but I decided against it.

GP:This Pay per view seems like it's going to be rather large. 13 matches according to my most recent count.

Commish Ford:Well, there is alot of issues that need to be settled. I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit that's been going on with Vice President Evan as well, so, who knows, you may see another match with him and I squaring off. I'm about ready to knock his lights out... banning me from the building...

GP:Where is VP Evan, I haven't seen him all night...

("Suffocate" by Finger Eleven plays over the pa system as the current IWO North American Champion LiGiL walks out, along with VP Evan.)

JT:I think that just answered your question there Gregy.

Meygon:This next matchup is the Main event, and is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IWO North American Championship. Introducing first, the champion. Accompanied to the ring by Vice President Evan, he hails from Detriot Michigan, and weighs in tonight at 242 pounds, here is LiGiL!

(LiGiL climbs into the ring, recieving an overpowering amount of boos from the crowd. Then, 'The Hollow' by: A Perfect Circle begins to play.)

Meygon:And the challenger, hailing from Seattle Washington, and weighing in at 265 pounds, here is Syphon Fission!

(Syphon Fission walks out from the back and recieves an overwelming amount of boos as well. Fission climbs up onto the apron, as LiGiL knocks him in the back of the head with the North American Championship!)

GP:DEAR GOD!

Nikki:LiGiL should be disqualified!

JT:But the match hasn't started! It doesn't matter. LiGiL could drop a nuclear bomb onto Fission and the IWO can't touch him.

GP:VP Evan puts the boots to Fission! I can't believe it! Wait! It's Trent McFarlane! Trent McFarlane flies out of the back, as VP Evan goes racing around the ring! McFarlane is chasing him!

Commish Ford:COME ON MCFARLANE!

JT:You can't treat a board member like that!

Nikki:Wait! Syphon Fission just laid out Trent McFarlane with a chair shot to the temple! What in good god's name!

GP:LiGiL slides into the ring, as does Syphon Fission. VP Evan slides him himself, as all three of them hug!

JT:Here comes the rest of the them! Prime Time Soldiers, Cassie, Rob Kestler, and Evan Levine!

(VP Evan grabs a microphone.)

VP Evan: Alright McFarlene...this has gone on long enough. Get to your feet and face me like the man you claim you are.

(Trent shakes off the clothesline as he stands near the ring post closest to the ring.)

Trent McFarlene: Alright, what've you got to try and put me away this time? Another dreadful clothesline?

VP Evan: Book 'em, boys.



VP Evan: I SAID, book em' boys!



VP Evan: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THOSE TWO HITMEN?!



VP Evan: FUCK!!!!!!! JAY, GET DOWN HERE!!!!



GP: Jay spears Kestler! Lefts and rights! McFarlene enters! He snatches Tyler Johnson! The Latest Craze! But LiGiL clips him in the knee! It's 6 on 2. Evan Levine now moves in on Jay....and now what?!



Nikki: A barbed wire protractor.....

JT: No....it can't be....

<"Blue" by Eiffel 65 strikes up as the crowd ERUPTS.>

GP: IT IS!!!!! IT'S THE HARDCORE ISOSCELES TRAPEZOID!!! THE PRINCE OF POLYGONS IS BACK! HE SLIDES INTO THE RING! LiGiL rushes to meet him! Low blow by Trapezoid! The Transitive Property (Double Arm Brainbuster) on LiGiL! pTs try a double clothesline! Trapezoid ducks and hooks them! DOUBLE INVERTED STUNNER! Levine comes up from behind! GAME TIM-NO! HIT MULE KICKS OUT! PICKS HIM UP!!!! CONGRUENT ANGLES (Corkscrew Jackhammer)!

JT: Cassie slides into the ring and starts trying to gouge Jay's eyes out! HIT GRABS HER BY THE HAIR!!!!! HE PULLS HER UP TOP!!!!!! PUMPHANDLE........THE PROVE STATEMENT!!! PROVE STATEMENT ON CASSIE!!!! ROB KESTLER IS LIVID!!! HE NAILS HIT IN THE GUT! CALL FROM BEYOND!!!

Nikki:Jay with a take down to Kestler! Kestler is down! VP Evan pulls Kestler out of the ring, as Jay is livit!

(HIT grabs a microphone.)

HardCore Isosceles Trapezoid: Every time I end up here we have a dumb ass board member. A while ago it was fucking Dane with his dumb F.U.C.K plan. Now we have VP Evan, a guy who hires hitmen to settle wrestling matters. Real good idea numbnuts. In the ring with me we have Phelen Kell's understudy and we have Psycho Jay. Well, you two, it's us versus the world. So VP Evan and Co... we're gonna beat ya down....

Trent McFarlene: RIGHT INTO THE GRASS!

Psycho Jay: I GONNA SMACK YA ROUND!

All: AND WE GONNA KICK YO ASS!!

VP Eric:That's it! Jay! You're going to pay Saturday when you lose your LAST World heavyweight title shot ever! HIT, I'll deal with you later, and Trent... come pay per view time, you're going to face a mystery opponent, of MY CHOOSING! So McFarlane, be prepared. I'm warning you...

GP:Oh my god, a uniting of epic preportions! Stay tuned next week for Wednesday Night Meltdown, and Autumn In Hell, live on Saturday, September 30th! Goodnight everybody!

**Fade Out**

Hostile Takeover lineup for October 6th To Be Announced