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::The screen is black until suddenly a heart beat is heard and you see
the
Hostile Takeover Logo. The heart beat hits again and you once again
see the
Hostile Takeover logo flash on the screen. Suddenly "5 Minutes Alone"
by
Pantera begins to play. Clips of past shows begin to play. Suddenly
fire
works shoot up and the camera pans the crowd. You see signs like "I
like
Tony Davis's nads", "Phelen Kell is the REAL champ", "Dane Wilt is
gothic...I
can tell", and "Titan is a flamer". The scene cuts down to the
announce
positions and you see Greg Parker, JT, and Stinky B. Wizzelcheeks
sitting at
the annnounce position.::

Greg Parker (GP):Welcome everyone to Hostile Takeover! We have a great
show
for ya tonight! We have 6 count em' 6 title matches tonight!
Includeing our
mainevent for the World Championship Dane Wilt vs. Tony Davis.

JT:Well Greg I for one have no dobut that Dane Wilt will walk out of
here
tonight still IWO World Champion. Tony Davis is nothing more then a
joke
wrestler...Dane's gonna take him out...and take him out here tonight!

Stinky B. Wizzelcheeks (SBW):I for one must disagree. I feel Tony
Davis has
recently been held back by backstage politics...I think he is perhaps
the
most under rated superstar in the IWO today. I smell a new World
Champion.

JT:WHAT!?! TONY DAVIS IS A J-O-B-B-E-R! HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS!

SBW:I feel you are being...

JT:SUCK MY FAT NUTS!

::Suddenly Chairman Dane appears behind JT.::

C.Dane:Excuse me JT...

JT:YES WHAT THE FUC...oh...yes sir?

C.Dane:I have been talking to President Jamie and he has told me that
this
show is a family show...theirfore I must ask you from useing such
language....it just simply isn't prudent.

JT:Yes sir...of course sir....it was all Stinky anyways sir...

SBW:Mr. Chairman sir I would never do such a thing to offend a man of
your
stature...

C.Dane:Yes I know that..I was the one that highered you remember...keep
up
the good work Stinky. Hey GP...keep JT in line...I want this show to
be
something the whole family can enjoy....something nice and wholesome
for the
whole family.

GP:Sure.

C.Dane:Well gentlemen good luck with the show...I am going to retire to
the
back and watch the rest of this fine wrestling card...enjoy gentlemen.

::Chairman Dane leaves the announce position.::

GP:Well it appears that Chairman Dane is makeing some kind of campaign
to...clean up your language JT?

JT:Yeah whitch is total bull shi...poop.

SBW:I think this is indeed a lovely idea...

JT:FUCK YOU!

SBW:Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....your gonna get in trouble....

JT:Atleast my first name isn't Stinky...

SBW:HEY! That wasn't very nice!

GP:ANYWAYS! We also have the Extreme Title on the line as Al Coholic
faces
Mad Max as he makes his return to the IWO. Who do you guys pick?

JT:Both these guys are total goof balls I wouldn't pick a winner if my
life
depened on it.

SBW:I feel the same....both men are rather tough and it should be a
great
match.

GP:And we also have a Hardcore Rumble that will give the winner a
chance to
become the US champ. Who do you guys see winning the rumble?

SBW:I am thinking Dan Hopkins would be the best canidate because...

JT:Who gives a shit....whoops...ah fuck it...oh well what I was trying
to say
nicely was Dan Hopkins doesn't matter...I'm seeing someone takeing this
match
that no one would see coming...I think it'll be all CyberCyclone...he's
well
over due for a win anyways.

GP:Well all I can say is that I think this card is gonna be...simply
awesome...I understand now that Evan Levine has something to say...

["Born a Broken Man" by Rage hits over the building and the fans give a

heated welcome to Evan Levine!]

Announcer: Ladies and Gentalmen comeing to the ring at this time with
Tara.
Evan Levine!!!!

[Evan walks out to from the back with a Billion Dollar Promotion
T-shirt on
and a mic in hand. Evan then gets in the ring with Tara right behind
him and
they both walk to the middle of the ring were Evan begins to talk.]

Evan: Its bin One week since the other members of the Billion Dollar
Promotion was out here in this very ring and left my friend Chrom
Thunder to
a pack of freeks! No matter who you are what you have done no one
should be
treated like that. I know for a fact that Thunder is not in the best of
moods
and would love nothing then to take out each and every member of the
Billion
Dollar Promotion. But now this leaves me in a bad place. When I was out

kicking Jax Stone a new asshole Dane and the Dudleys said I have to
pick
between Thunder and them. Now they said there will not be anything held

agenst me if I bow out and join Thunder. Well Like I said I hade a week
to
think about this. I even went to my wife to be Tara. And I came to my
finaly
answare..........

I am sorry guys but I can't stand here and watch you beat the hell out
of a
fellow Stable member. Its not right and I wont stand for it. And if you
are
asking me to pick between friendship and Mony I pick friendship because

stables and mony comes and goes but friends are what stay and thats all
I
have to say about that. Consider this my Dear John letter Billion
Dollar
Promotion!

[Evan drops the mic and rips off his Billion Dollar Promotion T-shirt.
He
then drops it on the mat and spits on it! He turns to Tara and they
hug.
"Born a Broken Man" plays over the load speekers and the fans give Evan
a
great ovation! As they make there way to the back Thunder walks out
from
behind and hugs Evan! They then turn and all three of them go back to
there
locker rooms!]

GP:Well it looks like the Billion Dollar Promotion is gonna be down one

member.

JT:WHAT! IS EVAN LEVINE THAT DUMB!?! LEAVEING THE MEGA-POWER OF THE IWO

TO....TO...TEAM WITH CHROME THUNDER?!? WHAT A MORON!!!!

SBW:I respect that man...

JT:SHUTUP! GOD I HATE YOU!

GP:And with that pleasent note we'll be back in a second!

****Commercial Break****

Extra Assignment Match
Phelen Kell vs Mystery Man

GP: And we're gearing up for the opening bout here. We've been told
that
Chairman Dane has set a match up for the exchampion Phelen Kell to
fight in.
Any guesses as to who it may be?

JT: I don't know....should I really care either?

SBW: Of course you should! Phelen is one of the top draws here in the
IWO.

JT: Stumpy J. Fuzzytits you shut the hell up.

SBW: Hey man, my name is Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks.

JT: Yeah whatever Stumpy.

SBW: Stinky!

JT: Whatever!

GP: Alright already you two. Christ JT it seems no matter who we have
with us
you always get into a big fight with them.

JT: Hey Slumpy Q. Nerdly had it coming.

SBW: MY NAME IS STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS! ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD TO
REMEMBER!

GP: Dumpy B. Ewok-nuts be quiet for a minute.

SBW: AAAAAAAAAH DAMN IT!

GP: Anyway ladies and gentlemen lets go on down to the ring now and get
to
our first match up of the evening. Phelen Kell to face a mystery
opponent.
Down to the ring now to our ring announcer we like to call...guy with
no name.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...welcome...to IWO Hostile Takeover!
Tonights
opening bout is an extra on the card....introducing first....former
three
time IWO World Heavyweight champion, former three time IWO tag team
champion
and former Television champion...."The Legend" PHELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!

::"Sober" by TOOL begins to play as "The Legend" Phelen Kells walks
down to
the ring and steps through the ropes. He picks a microphone up and
begins to
talk.::

Phelen: Alright. Chairman Dane you little kiss ass, you told me I was
going
to have a match tonight. But yet you don't announce it, and you don't
tell me
who its against. I wanna know what the hell is going on. So march your
scrawny little ass out here right now.

::"Whatever" by Godsmack begins to play as Chairman Dane walks out and
down
to the ring wearing a shirt that says "I <3 President Jamie" on it. He
has a
big smile on his face.::

GP: What does that say on his shirt?

JT: HAHAHA! What a f*cking little kiss ass! It says "I love President
Jamie"
on it!

SBW: HAHA! Thats pathetic!

JT: Not as pathetic as your na-

SBW: DON'T EVEN!

::In the ring.::

Chairman Dane: Well first of all I'd like to say hello to our dear
President
Jamie Kosoy, the man whos made everyones dreams come true. We love ya
big guy!

::Broadcast team.::

GP: AHAHAHA!

JT: ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC!

::In ring.::

Chairman Dane: And second...Phelen, please don't say that word anymore.

Phelen: W...what word?

Chairman Dane: Well...the A word.

::Phelen begins to laugh.::

Phelen: OH! You mean ass!

Chairman Dane: HEY! This is good wholesome television for the whole
family,
just say butt or say A-Double crooked letter. We're good people here.

Phelen: Oh man your so full of sh*t!

Chairman Dane: HEY! Alright then, for being such a meanie head you butt
hole
your gonna get the big surprise. Your gonna love this one. He is one of
the
most feared men in professional wrestling history. Known for his great
feuds
of the past ten years with such stars as Hulk Hogan and.......Hulk
Hogan...he
is the one...the only....retired WWF superstar.....EARTHQUAKE!

GP: Oh my god!

JT: Why in the hell would anyone give half a damn about Earthquake? The
guys
been demolished by Hulk Hogan for god sake!

SBW: I find him to be a superb athelete and one of the greats.

JT: Greats? Where the hell do you get off?

SBW: Hey...its none of your business where I get off.

JT: Hehe..you just admited on live TV you masterbate.

SBW: NO I DIDN'T!

JT: Oh yeah ya did brother.

SBW: SHUT UP!

GP: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! Alright ladies and gentlemen in the squared
circle
at this time we have Earthquake with his manager Jimmy Hart. The two
are
running over a game plan.

Jimmy Hart: Alright now baby. Do you remember the game plan Jimmy told
you?

Earthquake: Don't die.

Jimmy Hart: RIGHT BABY! Now you get out there and make dear old Jimmy
proud!

Earthquake: Jimmy...

Jimmy Hart: What baby?

Earthquake: I poo'ed in my pants.

Jimmy Hart: Oh god. This is what I get for letting an overweight old
man into
my First Family. Baby, your gonna have ta' wait til after the match for
Jimmy
to change your diaper.

Earthquake: Jimmy...

Jimmy Hart: WHAT NOW BABY?

Earthquake: Are you mad at me cuz' I poo'ed
my
pants?

Jimmy Hart: Oh christ......no baby...Jimmy isn't mad at Earthquake.
Earthquake is Jimmys special little boy. Now you go out there and play
with
your new friend Phlem Killer.

Phelen: ITS PHELEN KELL!

Jimmy Hart: Whatever! Anyway....Earthquake baby....go out and
kill...him. Can
ya do that for Jimmy? If you do we'll stop for icecream on the way
home, just
you me and Typhoon.

Earthquake: What about Barry Horowitz?

Jimmy Hart: Yeah Barry can come along to.

Earthquake: Otay Jimmy! I gonna win!

Phelen: Oh man someone smells like sh*t!

Chairman Dane: HEY! Thats Poo! P-O-O. Not the S word!

::Broadcast booth.::

GP: And the bell has rung ladies and gentlemen as Phelen Kell is about
to
destroy this overweight wrestler from the WWF of the late eighties
early
ninties by the name of Earthquake.

JT: I hate to say this but...hehe....Kell is gonna kill him. Poor fat
old
b@stard. Ya know last time I saw him he was wearing a goofey leather
mask and
holding a Cartman doll in the WWF.

SBW: He was Golga?

JT: Yeah.

SBW: Thats just stupid!

JT: Yeah.

GP: Shut up please.

JT: Sure thing cock.

GP: Thank you.

JT: Hehe.

GP: And here we go folks, this one is heating up already as Phelen Kell
comes
in with a kick to Earthquakes stomach.

JT: Oh man, did you see that jiggle?

GP: Kell now with a Stun Gun to the aging
wrestling
great. And is immidiately picking him back up to his feet. It looks
like
Earthquake is talking to Kell.

::In ring.::

Earthquake: Phlem.

Phelen: Its Phelen fatboy.

Earthquake: Yeah......Phlem....can we jus' be fwiends?

Phelen: WHAT?

::From the outside of the ring.::

Jimmy Hart: BABY! DON'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE ENEMY!

Phelen: Earthquake you realize if you lose you don't get your full IWO
contract right?

Earthquake: Vats otay. I'm a hip young star. Everybody wants va Quake!

Jimmy Hart: BABY THATS NOT TRUE! NOONE WANTS YOU! I HAD TO PAY JAMIE
COSEY TO
LET YOU WRESTLE HERE!

Chairman Dane: Its Kosoy Hart! You be careful how you talk about my
hero!

Jimmy Hart: Oh shut up Dane!

::Broadcasters.::

GP: What in the hell is going on in there?

JT: They're just chatting! Kell is standing in the corner listening to
them!
He looks slightly annoyed.

::In ring.::

Earthquake: Jimmy I don' wanna fight Phlem. He's my fwiend.

Jimmy Hart: Baby....listen closely to Jimmy now......Phlem Killer
doesn't
like you....he wants to kill you because your a fat old guy trying to
get in
to a federation of real atheletes. He doesn't wanna be your friend. And

unless you win, Jimmy isn't gonna be able to pay for the Undertakers
mule
that you sat on and crippled.

Earthquake: He doesn't like me?

Jimmy Hart: No baby.

Earthquake: Him no like me.
WHAAAAAAAAAA!

::Broadcasters.::

JT: EARTHQUAKE IS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE RING CRYING!

GP: What the hell did Hart say to him?

JT: I don't know. But it wasn't a very good pep talk.

::In ring.::

Jimmy Hart: DAMN IT GET BACK HERE EARTHQUAKE!

::Both Jimmy Hart and Earthquake run into the back. Phelen looks down
at
Chairman Dane.::

Phelen: Thats what you got to fight me? A fourty year old man that acts
like
a toddler? Thats the match?

Chairman Dane: Hey man, give me a break. Hart said the shock therapy
helped
Earthquake. Apparently it didn't.

Referee: 1...2...3...4...5....6...7...8....9...10!

**DING DING!**

GP: That was the most pointless thing I've ever seen.

JT: Loved every minute of it!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...your winner...by countout...."The
Legend"
PHELEN KELL!

GP: Kell is making his way into the back now. Poor guy, didn't even get
to
fight.

JT: Chairman Dane must feel like an ass.

::In the back, we see Phelen Kell walking calmly through to his
dressing
room. Ashton Cain walks out of a door into the hallway as Kell walks
by.::

Ashton: Wow, looks like ya got off easy tonight huh man?

Phelen: Shut up.

Ashton: What?

Phelen: Just shut up. Don't f*ck with me. I'm not an idiot.

Ashton: WHAT?

Phelen: F*ck you.

::Kell walks off as Harlequin appears.::

Ashton: Whats up his ass?

Harlequin: Hell if I know. Maybe its that time of the month.

Ashton: Haha.

::The two walk off.::

::The scene cuts to the back and you see Earthquake and Jimmy Hart
walking
down the hall. Earthquake is covered in sweat and is breathing
extremely
heavey. Jimmy Hart still has his air brushed jacket on and is carrying
his
megaphone. Chairman Dane walks up to them and begins to talk.::

C.Dane:Excuse me Mr. Hart...

Jimmy:Yeah baby?

C.Dane:I have an offer to you and your ummm Quake...

Jimmy:Well go ahead and tell us..but we were just on our way to the
Heros of
Wrestling...we figured they might let us in...

C.Dane:Well Jimmy...recently the IWO has been going nuts...everyone
feels the
need to use bad language, make perverted statments, and even some guys
I know
of have done worse. Now I need to get some help so that the executive
team
can rid the IWO of all of these problems...I've made offers to a few
champions but in the end they always back out...

Jimmy:Okay baby get to the point...Jimmy doesn't have all day...

C.Dane:Well I would like to give you both an IWO contract as my team to
get
the IWO back in order....and I would like to offer you one hundred...

Earthquake:A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!! WE ACEPT! JIMMY! I HAVEN'T GOT THAT
MUCH
MONEY SINCE CHRISTMAS FROM MY GRANDPARENTS!

Jimmy:Baby I think he was gonna offer us one hundred thousand....AND
YOU HAD
TO GO AND BLOW IT!

::Earthquake signs a contract in crayon that Dane hands to him. He
spells
his name Urft Qwake.::

Jimmy:DAMN IT BABY!

Earthquake:It was a pleasure doing buisness with you DANEY! Now we
gotta get
ice cream and clean up my poo!

C.Dane:Well clean up your "poo" but then come to my office I have some
buisness I need you to take care of tonight...and Mr. Hart watch your
mouth...

Earthquake:YEAH STUPID!

Jimmy:Baby don't call Jimmy stupid!

Earthquake:Come on Jimmy clean up my poo!

Jimmy:Oh god DAAAAA....I mean dang it baby!

::Jimmy Hart and Earthquake walk off.::

C.Dane:Dane you sly dog you've done it again. Jamie is gonna love the
talent
I'm bringing in!

****Commercial Break****

Rodney Phoenix vs. Virtual Violater
SBW:I gotta go to the back....I need to take my inhaler....

JT:HA! Wuss...

::Angel pops up.::

GP: Welcome back to Hostile Takeover!

JT: Yadda, yadda, yadda! Same old, same old.

Angel: We now have Rodney Phenoix vs Virtual Violater!

GP: So let's get this match right down on the road!

("Unforgiven" by Creed starts to play as Rodney Phenoix starts to walk
down
to the ring.)

Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a

twenty minute time limit! First coming down to the ring, weighing 255
pounds, Rodney Phenoix!

("What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182 starts to play as Virtual Violator
walks
out to the ring.)

Ring Announcer: His opponent, weighing in at 200 pounds, Virtual
Violator!

*Ding Ding Ding*

GP: And this match is under way! Rodney Phenoix starts off fast with
a
clothesline. Violator quickly gets up, Phenoix charges Violator again,

Violator ducks the clothesline! Violator with a kick to the stomach of

Phenoix...snap suplex! Violator picks Pehnoix up. He sends him to the

ropes, drop kick sends Rodney Phenoix down!

JT: You know, I'd like to get down on a bed with Angel. Only because
of the
tits though.

*Smack*

Angel: Asshole.

GP: Phenoix has gotten back up, Violator with a kick, caught by
Phenoix.
Enziquri ducked by Phenoix! Phenoix with a kick to Violator, DDT!

JT: High impact there.

*Smack*

JT: OW! Now, I didn't do anything there.

Angel: I know, I just felt like it.

JT: Bitch.

*Smack*

JT: OW!

GP: Phenoix has gone to the top rope. Violator gets up, flying
clothesline
from the top rope! Phenoix with the cover, one... two... kickout by
Virtual
Violator!

Angel: Phenoix sends Violator to the ropes, back body drop over the
top
rope! This is where things can get dangerous. Rodney follows Violator
to
the outside, fighting right in front of us. Phenoix takes Violator's
head
and smashes it on our announcing booth. Phenoix throws Violator back
into
the ring and grabs a chair!

JT: This are going to get ugly! MAYBE WE'LL SEE BLOOD!!!!

GP: Whatever, Violator slowly gets to his feet, and Phenoix smashes
Violator's head in with that steel chair! That just couldn't be a
pleasant
expirenence. Phenoix picks Violator up, Samoan drop! Violator is
getting
destoryed here tonight!

JT: Phenoix goes for the cover, one... two... th, kick-out! After all
that
Violator still has some fight in him! Phenoix picks Violator up,
Vertical
Suplex, countered into a Vioator snap suplex!

Angel: Violator is trying to stage a comeback. He starts stomping
away at
the downed Phenoix. He picks Phenoix up, Firemans carry! And now he
locks
on a headlock! But Phenoix counters to a belly to back suplex!

JT: Phenoix with a cover, one... two... kickout!

GP: Phenoix picks Virtual Violator up, kick, BRING THE WORLD DOWN!
COVER!!!
ONE... TWO... THREE!!!

Angel: Rodney Phenoix wins ins a very quick match.!

::"Take The Power Back" By Rage Against the Machine begins to play.
People
stand up awaiting the arrival of the ?¿? but instead they get
Mysteryious
Birdman 0¿0 and Floopy the Mysterious Bird. They enter the ring to the
boos
of the crowd.::

Mysteryious Birdman 0¿0 - Hey Tony Davis.. How you gettin' a title
shot.. I
called yo ass out last week and you never said a damn word to me... Yo
ass
is going to the birds...

::"Take The Power Back" by Rage Against the Machine plays again and
they
leave the ring.::

***Commercial Break****

Gp-We're back!

JT-This card is so f**king awesome! But who is this guy next to me?

Gp-You mean Bob?

Bob(?)-My name isn't bob.

Jt-At least he is better then that bitch. How ya doing bob?

Bob(?)-My name isn't Bob.

Gp-Yeah yeah whatever...Bob get ready because it looks our next match
is
about to begin. And we have a lovely guess ring announcer today. Hey
Bob
check her out!

Bob(?)-MY NAME is not Bob.

::"Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred plays and Flame walks out from the
back. She
is dressed skimpier then ever coming to the ring an opaque white thong
bikini. Every guy in the crowd is one his feet cheering, cat calling,
and
some the sicker ones are masturbating::

Jt-Oh my god I can those big mounds and nipples as clear as day! I'm
not
worthy!

Gp-I have to say I'm...at a loss for words to say the least.

Bob(?)-Got damn! I need to come here more often!

Jt-Is that a thong? Is that a thong?

::Flame climbs into the ring and does a slow turn so everyone can get a
good
look at her.::

Jt-IT IS A THONG! OH BABY COME TO DADDY! FLAME I LOVE YOU!

Gp-This is the greatest moment of my life!

Bob(?)-I think I just cummed my pants.

Jt-Bob I'm about to join you.

Bob(?)-God you people are idiots.

Flame-Okay now boys heel. This is a Last Man Standing Match with No
Time
limit. The rules? There are no rules! Anything goes the first man who
can't
get up after a ten count will be the loser. First I will introduce the
surprise guest referee...ME!

::cheers go up from the crowd::

Flame-Okay now calm down everybody. The first man coming to the ring is
one
of the most twisted and disgusting man in the IWO. He is crazy then
anyone in
the IWO besides maybe Mad Max. He hails from parts unknown he is a
legend
among legends..KING STING AND FUSION!!

::"Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones plays and King Sting walks
down the
ramp::

GP-WHAT THE HELL!! Capital Punishment has just darted from the back he
has BB
gun. King Sting doesn't seem him coming...Capital Punishment just fired
five
shots King Sting falls to the ground rolling down the ramp way. Capital

Punishment is ramming the but of the gun into King Stings head. A gash
has
already opened up on King Sting's face and a river flows down his face.

Capital Punishment kicks King Sting down the ramp and rolls him into
the
ring.

Jt-Even he is checking out Flame and that tight body. God I'm so horny
right
now is that right Phil.

Gp-Whose Phil?

Jt-You know that guy::points at Bob(?)::

Gp-Why did you say your name was Bob... Phil?

Phil(?)-I never said my name was anything. If you must know my name
is...

Jt-WHAT A REVERSAL!

Gp-King Sting just reversed Caps suplex into a reverse suplex on the
butt of
his gun. My that has to be very painful. King Sting is on the attack
now. He
whips Cap into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with knee to
the gut.
King Sting climbs the top rope and flies with a stunning elbow drop.
King
Sting picks up Cap and delivers a brainbuster DDT that shakes the ring.
King
Sting hurls cap to the outside of the ring and picks up the BB gun. He
pulls
the trigger repeatedly ten...fifteen...twenty! TWENTY TIMES CAP HAS
BEEN
SHOT! I DON'T CARE HOW LITTLE THEY ARE BUT THAT HAS GOT TO HURT! Flame
has
begun the ten count for Cap....

Jt-You see how they jiggle when she counts?

[2]

Gp-Yes that is very nice...oh my god!

[4]

Jt-What?

[6]

Gp-You can see her...her....you know and its smooth as a babies behind.

[8]

JT-Hey she stopped counting!

Gp-Cap has risen to his feet and is taunting KS from outside the ropes.
King
Sting flies out the ropes and misses with a diving plancha?

Jt-Did you just make that move up?

Gp-No.

Jt-Yeah you probably did.

Gp-No I didn't...SHUT UP! Anyway Cap is running King Stings head across
the
guard rail. No, He picks him up and delivers a tombstone pile driver.
Cap
climbs under the ring and comes back out with long metal pipe. He sets
the
pipe on the ring and guard rail.

Jt-He's doing limbo!

Gp-No he isn't! He has just delivered a gut buster across the pole! OH
MY
GOD!!! The pole has bent it self to a "V" from the force. King Stings
ribs
must be broken he could have a punctured lung.

Jt-That means MORE BLOOD!

Gp-Cap picks up half of the metal pipe and is slamming it over and over
again
across the small of King Sting's back. Cap picks up King Sting and
power
bombs him onto the concrete. Cap singles for flame to start counting.
But
before she can to the count of one King Sting has risen to his feet.
Cap has
a look of disbelief on his face and King Sting takes advantage with
boot to
gut and a gargoyle suplex to the concrete. King Sting picks up Cap and
DDT's
him onto the concrete. Caps head has been busted open and blood is
pouring
out. Flame is on the outside of the ring and once again King Sting is
staring
at her breasts.

Jt-He's smiling. It looks like he is up to something.

Gp-He wouldn't.

Jt-Wouldn't what?

Gp-HE DID! HE PULLED OFF FLAME'S TOP! OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM!

Jt-I have seen the promised land and it is good. I'm not worthy...

:;The crowd is roaring with cheers::

Gp-None of us are... Flame is cursing off King Sting and not even
trying to
cover herself up. King Sting is just sitting their smiling at her. But
that
smile just faded because Flame planted he foot deep into his crotch.
Cap is
slowly rising and looks around confused. He sees Flame topless and
stops and
stares...

Jt-He gets to see them up close. Some guys get all the luck.

Gp-Cap finally draws his gaze from those great mounds and grabs a
handful of
King Sting's hair. King Sting struggles as he is being dragged up the
ramp.
And there goes a handful of King Sting's hair. Cap and King Sting
exchange
blows as they slowly make their way up the ramp away. Cap knees King
Sting
below the belt and follows up with a swinging neck breaker. Cap picks
up
King Sting and throws him to the top of the ramp way. He lands with a
nasty
thud. Cap picks up King Sting and throws him off the top of the ramp
all the
way to the concrete below!

Jt-NOW THAT IS EXTREME!

Gp-Flame has begun the ten count....personally I would say this one is
over.

Jt-Her breast are still exposed of this great.

[4]

Gp- I feel sorry for all the people in TV land.

Jt-Damn censors!

Gp-Oh well.

[6]

Jt-This match is over.

[10]

Gp-That's it Flame has called for the bell and Cap is the winner. Cap
is just
staring at her exposed breasts and doesn't seem to notice that he has
won.

Jt-Lucky.

Gp-Well Cap has one another had fought match.

::The scene cuts to the back at the Executive office. You see
President
Jamie sitting at a desk and Chairman Dane runs in very excited.::

C.Dane:SIR! SIR! SIR!

Jamie:Errrr...what now Dane?

C.Dane:I highered some new talent to help us enforce the laws and
procedures
of the IWO!

Jamie:Great who'd you get?

C.Dane:Well let's just say I went out and got myself a fine young peice
of
talent! Now guys who want to break the laws won't stand a chance
against us!

Jamie:Great Dane...have him take care of Dane Wilt during tonights
mainevent!

C.Dane:You sure you want Davis to be World champ...he's not all that
much
better then Dane.

Jamie:Yeah but Davis understands how to pronounce my last name...Dane
just
can't seem to for whatever reason.

C.Dane:Yes sir I'll take care of it tonight...

Jamie:Excellent.

*****Commercial*****

Hardcore Battle Royal #1 Contender US title match
Elimination Style Anything and everything goes
Ropes are replaced with Barbed Wire falls count anywhere
Rob Kestler vs. Jake Mansfield vs. Jacob Gryn vs. G-Dogg vs. John Wade
vs.
Crucifix vs. CyberCyclone vs. Crazy Cannuck vs. Dan Hopkins vs. Ruff
Ryda
vs. TRO vs. Dark Insanity vs. Chrome Thunder

GP:Well this one should certainly be a good one.

JT:AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! This one's gonna be great!

GP:Let's here some picks?

JT:Shitty Wizzelass's mom has a good chance at achiveing victory.

SBW:SHUTUP!

GP:Settle down guys...seriously who do you think is gonna win this one?
JT:Okay seriously....it will be Shitty Wizzelass's mom...she's a big
bad
bitch.


SBW:SHUTUP I LOVE MY MOM! SHE'S A TRUE DUTCH WOMAN! THOSE ARE THE ONLY
REAL
WOMEN YA KNOW!

JT:SHE'S A WHORE!

GP:Guys guys serious who do you like?

JT:Seriously...either TRO...or Shitty's mom.

SBW:GOD I HATE YOU! ERRRR! But, I pick Rob Kestler...he is the future
of this
great fed.

JT:The Usual Suspects have nothing on the Billion Dollar Promotion! I
love
those guys!

GP:I like Chrome Thunder's chances he's broke away from BDP and now
he's
gonna be on fire. I think he's gonna be a dominateing force in the IWO
today.


::"Whatever" by Godsmack plays. Chairman Dane comes out and enters the
ring.
He is accompanied to the ring by Earthquake and Jimmy Hart.::

C.Dane:Ladies and gentlemen I decided for this match I will be your
special
guest ring announcer. So to save time I will just say all of the guys
named
and as I say them would they please walk out....Rob Kestler.....Jake
Mansfield....Jacob Gryn...G-Dogg....John
Wade....Crucifix....CyberCyclone....Crazy Cannuck....Dan
Hopkins....Ruff
Ryda....TRO....Dark Insanity....and Chrome Thunder.

::All of those men walk out in order.::

C.Dane:Alright after the first 5 get eliminated we will have a 10
minute
intermission. Good luck to all....GO!

GP:Well we got Ruff Ryda going after Dark Insanity....Chrome Thunder
and
Crazy Cannuck...TRO and Hopkins...Kestler on G-Dogg...and Mansfield and
Gryn
double teaming on Wade.

JT:Ruff Ryda whips Insanity to the outside and their outside. Ryda has
the
steel stairs and is pounding him with them. Ryda drops the stairs and
picks
him up...goes to whip him into the ring post...AHAHAHAHA! Reversal by
Dark
Insanity!

SBW:Chrome Thunder just forced Cannuck into the barbed wire ropes! The
scratches begin to appear on Cannucks back as he screams in pain.
Thunder
continues on his rampage. He takes Crazy Cannuck by his face and grinds
it
against the barbed wire. Cannuck is a bloody mess.

JT: Rob Kestler has G-Dogg in the Tarantula on the barbed wire ropes!
He's
ripping himself and G-Dogg to shreds! Both men are screaming in pain!
Kestler
continues on though!

GP: This match is insane already ladies and gentlemen! We have now on
the
outside of the ring John Wade, is being destroyed by Jacob Gryn and
Jake
Mansfield. Mansfield has Wade up on his shoulders. Gryn is up on the
apron
with...a wrench! He has a wrench in his hand! He runs off and slams the

wrench into Wades face!! He slammed him in the face! Wades head just
jerked
back! He looked like a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome!

JT: That was awesome! Amazing showing there! They're picking him back
up
again, what is this? They're putting him up on the apron. Mansfield has
slid
into the ring now. Gryn stands Wade up, OH! A STUNNER ON THE BARBED
WIRE! He
just wrenched his neck across the barbed wire! Wade is down and
possibley out!

SBW: We now have Chrome Thunder still working on Crazy
Cannuck...Cannuck is
not fairing to well. Wait! No Cannuck with a low blow! Thunder is down!

Cannuck is up! He just ripped part of the barbed wire rope off! Whats
he
gonna do with it?

JT: On the other side of the ring right now we've got Cyber Cyclone
and.....and.....what the hell is he doing?

SBW: WOW! Its Robert Smith from The Cure!

JT: Hehe...fag.

SBW: What are you talking about? The Cure is awesome! Just like SKinney

Puppy, and Big Electric Cat, and Nosferatu and Alien Sex Fiend...and-

JT: Dude who the hell are you talking about?

SBW: What? You guys don't like Gothic music?

JT: Uh....no.

GP: Come on guys keep with the match.

JT: Oh blow it out your ass Parker.

SBW: Uh...well anyway...CyberCyclone is talking to Robert Smith from
The Cure.

::At ring.::

CyberCyclone: So yeah....maybe I could guess star on your next album.
It'd be
awesome.

Robert Smith: Yeah, that sounds bloody marvelous old chap. We'll have
ta do
that.

Referee: CYCLONE! GET BACK IN THE RING!

CyberCyclone: hey I'm workin here!

Referee: GET IN THE RING!

CyberCyclone: NO!

Referee: THEN YOUR OUTTA HERE!

CyberCyclone; WHAT!?!?!

Referee: YOU HEARD ME! GET LOST!

CyberCyclone: FINE!

::Hops over fence and sits talking to Robert Smith.::

Eliminated: CyberCyclone

GP: That was pathetic.

JT: Yeah it was.

SBW: On the opposite side of the ring from Cyclone we have Jacob Gryn
and
Crucifix going at it! Both men have chairs in hand, both men are
bleeding and
both mens chairs are dented all to hell!

JT: AWESOME! Crucifix just wailed Gryn across the face with the chair
again!
HAHA! Gryn is down now. Crucifix is pressing down on his chest with the
edge
of the chair. Gryn is barely breathing! From behind now Gryns homie
Mansfield
with a super kick to the back of Crucifix's head! Crucifix falls to the
mat
and Mansfield goes for a pin.

1...2...

GP: NO! A kick out by Crucifix. Mansfield lifts him up into a Snap
Suplex
onto the hard concrete floor. The air just blasted out of Crucifix
lungs on
that one. Now Mansfield with yet another pin.

1...

GP: Not even a two! Crucifix is showing some spirit here! Bless his
little
heart.

JT:

GP: What was that?

JT: Nothing.

GP: Okay. Wait whats this? Mansfield has Crucifix up again! WHOA!

SBW: Mansfield just collapsed! His own partner nailed him from behind!
Jacob
Gryn lifts Crucifix up into a Fishermans DDT on the cold stone floor!
Its
over for him!

1.....2.......3!

Eliminated: Crucifix

GP: Guys look at this! LOOK AT THIS! CRAZY CANNUCK HAS CRUCIFIED CHROME

THUNDER WITH RING POLES AND BARBED WIRE! OH MY GOD THIS IS WRONG! THIS
IS SO
WRONG! THUNDER IS STRAPPED IN COVERED IN BLOOD! HE ISN'T MOVING!
Cannuck is
parading around the ring. Wait!

JT: From behind! Its G-Dogg! He has a baseball bat with wooden spikes
in the
ends! He aimes it at the back of Crazy Cannuck! Cannuck blocks it and
kicks
G-Dogg in the face! Dogg goes down! Cannuck with a pin!

1....

GP: WAIT! Oh no! Chrome Thunder is falling on top of Cannuck still
strapped
to the poles by barbed wire! BAM! HE HIT! CANNUCK IS DOWN! G-DOGG IS
DOWN!
AND CHROME THUNDER IS CRUCIFIED!

JT: HAHAHAHAHA!

SBW: Whats this? G-Dogg is starting to move around! He stands up now,
lifting
Cannuck up with him, and he is signalling for the Dogginator! He goes
for it!
But Cannuck grabs the leg and drops him flat on his face! He applies
some
form of an STF to G-Dogg and is wrenching that move to beat hell!
G-Dogg is
trying to get out! He can't do it! He's struggling! HE TAPPED OUT!
G-DOGG
TAPPED OUT!

Eliminated: G-Dogg

GP: Alright fans...heres a quick recap right now ofwhats going on...we
have
ChromeThunder Crucified in the middle of the ring unconcious...Jacob
Gryn and
Jake Mansfield are going at it on the outside. We're missing two ring
posts
and one side of barbed wire. John Wade is unconcious on the outside and
Rob
Kestler appears to be fighting Dan Hopkins, and Dark Insanity and TRO
are
fighting somewhere in the audience!

JT:AHAHAHAHA! Look at Kestler! He just grabbed Hopkins and whipped him
over
the secuirty barrier. Kestler follows him and grabs a steel
chair...WOW! HE
JUST BROKE A CHAIR OVER HOPKIN'S HEAD! I NEVER EVER SAW THAT BEFORE! IT
JUST
LIKED SNAPPED OFF! AND HOPKINS IS NOW BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

SBW:Yes but look at Dark Insanity and TRO...the two are trading punches
up by
the second floor. Dark Insanity whips TRO into a cement wall. Dark
Insanity
goes for a splash but TRO smashes him into the wall. Now TRO is laying
him
on a table and is climbing up onto the second floor...and OH MY GOD! A
senton
off the railing onto the table!

GP:Jacob Gryn and Jake Manfeild are going at it...tag team partners
both
trying to get ahold of the US title. It seems Jacob has the upper hand
right
now. He just executed a power bomb onto the mat hard. Jacob is now
walking
over to the broken barbed wire and is wrapping it around his
fist....and he
is up top...goes for a punch on his partner but nobody home. Both are
up
Jacob swings with a wild punch and spins around...Jake lifts him up for
a
German suplex...Jacob lands on his feet...kicks Jake in the
stomach...DDT...Jake flips him over for the Northeren Light
Suplex...but
Jacob swings out and nails Jake with a reverse ddt....the
cover....1......2.....3!

Eliminated:Jake Mansfeild

SBW:Crazy Cannuck is now just beating on Chrome Thunder...who is all
binded
up on the Crucifix right now.....He grabs a frying pan and just nailed
Thunder right between the eyes with it. Now backs up and nails him
with an
elbow drop to the face. Thunder is hurting. Wait a sec...TRO is now
driveing down the aisle in a jeep?!? What in the world?

JT:AHAHAHAHA! TRO JUST HIT CRAZY CANNUCK WITH THE JEEP. AND HE HIT THE

CRUCIFIX AND KNOCKED THUNDER ONTOP OF HIM! THE COVER BY AN ALMOST DEAD
THUNDER....1.....2.......3!

ELIMINATED:CRAZY CANNUCK

Dane:The wrestlers will now all be brought back to the ring by any
means
necissarry and given a 10 minute break.

GP: AND WE'RE BACK!

JT: We've got Dark Insanity working on Dan Hopkins in the corner with a

bat....he's driving that thing down into Hopkins neck! Hopkins may be
done
for!

SBW: Yeah. I'm looking at Rob Krestler using that chair on John Wade.
AW! HE
SLAMS THAT COLD STEEL ACROSS WADE'S BACK!

JT: Yeah Kizzlecheeks. Krestler's been showing us some skills tonight.

SBW: IT'S WIZZLECHEEKS! THERE'S HONOR IN THAT NAME! THE WIZZLECHEEK
CLAN
FAUGHT BRAVELY TO DEFEND THE FAMILY HONOR! SOME GAVE THEIR LIVES!

JT: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.....Bizzlecheeks.

SBW: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

GP: Hopkins has managed to get to his feet and he has the bat from Dark

Insanity now. HE SLAMS IT OVER INSANITY'S HEAD! INSANITY IS DOWN AND
BLEEDING
FROM THE HEAD!

JT: HOPKINS COVERS!

1....2.....3!

SBW: DARK INSANITY IS GONE!

GP: Krestler continues his asualt on Wade.

JT: Clip to Kreastler's knee by Hopkins! Hopkins now has the chair and
is
going after Krestler. Interesting, because these two are going to be on

opposing teams at Conspiracy Theory.

GP: I guess that's why they are fighting each other. Ass.

SBW: Well, Wade is taking advantage of this and is resting in the
corner.

GP: OH! INTO FOR LONG! Ruff Ryda hits Wade with a big elbow in the
corner!

JT: Ruff Ryda grabs a stun gun. HE TAKES IT TO WADE!

GP: Wade is on the ground and shaking! Ruff Ryda for a cover!

1....2....TRO off the top rope!

SBW: TRO hits Ruff Ryda with a pool cue from the top rope! TRO covers
Ruff
Ryda!

1....2.....3!

JT: RUFF RYDA IS GONE! TRO now grabs a chair and pulls out a lighter!

GP: HE LIGHTS THE CHAIR ON FIRE!

JT: TRO takes Wade to the top rope. TOP ROPE POWERBOMB ONTO THE FLAMING

CHAIR! THE CHAIR TOTALLY BROKE!

SBW: TRO covers Wade!

1.....2....3!

GP: TRO is now going after Jake Masfield with fist of fury.

SBW: Let's got to Dan Hopkins and Rob Krestler. Chrome Thunder is now
into
this fight, and he and Hopkins are double teaming Krestler. Thunder
sets
Krestler up for a pile driver and Hopkins goes to the top.

GP: AND HOPKINS DRIVES KRESTLER DOWN!

JT: Hopkins' singling for the GOOD Ending. LOW BLOW BY THUNDER!

GP: THUNDER GRABS HOPKINS! GERMAN SUPLEX!

1....2....3!

SBW: HOPKINS IS GONE!

JT: Mansfield is still out! Thunder covers!

1....2....3!

GP: WE'RE DOWN TO THREE!

SBW: TRO, Krestler, and Thunder! THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD!

GP: TRO and Krestler look up and see Thunder is left. They look at each
other.

JT: DOUBLE CLOSE LINE TO THUNDER!

GP: TRO pulls Thunder up. Krestler runs into the ropes. HEART ATTACK!

JT: TRO and Krestler both grab Thunder and set him up. DOUBLE
POWERBOMB!

SBW: KRESTLER COVERS!

1....2....3!

JT: TWO LEFT!

GP: TRO kicks Krestler in the ribs. AH! NAILS HIM WITH A CHAIR!

SBW: TRO opens the chair and stands Krestler up.

JT: TRO goes to the top!

SBW: END OF DAYS (Tornado DDT) ONTO THE CHAIR!

JT: TRO COVERS KRESTLER!

1....2....KICK OUT!

GP:TRO can't beleive it...he picks Kestler up and whips him into the
ropes...spinning heel kick by TRO. TRO picks him up and is going for a
scoop
slam....Kestler slides out and nails TRO with a face buster.

JT:Both men are getting back to their feet...both go off the
ropes...and they
collide in mid-ring. Both men are down and out. They have both gone
all out
for this match I dobut they will be getting up anytime soon.

::Dane grabs a mic.::

Dane:Alright let's just stop this match here and now. Both of you in
my mind
proved to be worthy United States contenders. Kestler...you have a
bright
future...and I really see only good things coming your way. But, TRO
you've
been here for a long time...you are one of those guys who has killed
himself
for the IWO. TRO you will go on later tonight to take on Shack. Don't
worry
Kestler...like I said you have probabley the brightest future I have
ever
seen.

GP: What a match there. Hard to believe he actually pulled it off.

JT: I knew he'd win.

SBW: Bullsh*t you did.

JT: I did....trust me.

GP: Anyway the next match on the card tonight is bet-

::The lights go out.::

GP: What the hell? Ladies and gentlemen the lights have gone out.

JT: No duh f*ck face.

GP: Shut up.

::"Sober" by TOOL begins to play as the lights come on to a dim gray.
Phelen
Kell walks onto the IWO rampway and looks around at the crowd. He makes
his
way into the ring.::

GP: Its "The Legend" himself, Phelen Kell! He has a microphone.

JT: Oh just what I wanted. To listen to his boring sh*t for another
five to
ten minutes. Yipee.

GP: Hey, he's Phelen Kell, he's a serious guy. His thing isn't doing
talk
shows and things like that, he says what he needs to say, and backs it
up.
And thats whats earned him the IWO title on three occasions.

JT: Blah blah...whatever.

SBW: You just know he's right.

JT: Shut up.

::In ring.::

Phelen: Alright...I'm out here to say a few things...about this months
pay
per view known as Conspiracy Theory 2000. First of all...you all know
my
partners....we're one big unhappy disfunctional family I must say.
Right now
I have a few things to say to one Mr. Dane Wilt...and Dane...I know
your
listening in the back...so listen close. You and I may be partners at
this
coming pay per view....but that does not..and I repeat...DOES...NOT
mean...that I am done with you. Last pay per view..you screwed me out
of my
title...a title that I earned through hard work...and dedication to the

sport...and took on my own terms. After all this hokey badokey sh*t is
said
and done, you and I will go another round you little son of a b*tch.
The war
is far from over. You can bet your ass on that.

::Phelen walks across the ring.::

Phelen: I've....I've got something to say to our President....President
Jamie
Kosoy...Jamie....I've been here for a while now...I am an IWO
loyalist....what did I ever do to you to deserve what I'm getting? You
know
putting Dane and I on the same team is wrong...why'd you do it man? For

ratings? Whatever it is...its cruel man...cruel...and then you add the
Mysterious One? I've got all the respect for the man in the world, but
he and
I see about as much eye to eye as Mini-Me does with Shaquille O'neil.
Exx....come on! What do we know about him? He looks like a cave man in
face
paint, he wishes he was Scott Levy(aka Raven), and must have some kinda

Phelen Kell complex with the face paint thing...poor guy. Look he may
have
the North American title, but that doesn't make him good enough to be
on a
team with enough world titles to fill a sixpack plus more. While on the

subject...Cain....my dear former partner Ashton Cain who...although has
come
back has once again destroyed my faith in him. Ashton....don't look for

me...don't talk to me....I'm done with you. You know why...I know
why...and
thats all that needs to be said.

::We see Ashton Cain in the back with Harlequin and a few other people.


Ashton: What? Whats his problem?

Harlequin: I don't know.

Ashton: Harlequin talk to him man.

Harlequin: I'll try.

::Phelen circles the ring again.::

Phelen: Anyway...I didn't come out here just to rant and complain...I'm
not
that way unless I have a reason. Which I already went through. So now
on to
the important part of this interview...next week...on this program...I
am
calling out Dane Wilt. You heard me...Wilt...I'm not waiting anymore.
Title
or no title. You and I need to finish this.

::"Alright Oh Yeah" by Local H begins to play as Dane Wilt, with his
title
around his waist walks out onto the ramp. He looks at Phelen.::

Dane: My, my an impatient little booger aren't we dear Phelen?

Phelen: Shut the hell up Dane. Listen now and listen good. Come next
Hostile
Takeover you and I are going to go at it once more. You understand me?

Dane: Well....hmm I don't know Phelen. I might be able to pencil you in
good
buddy, don't count on it though. Sues comin' over to the Billion Dollar

Mansion to show me Mr. Beaver again...we'll have to wait and see.

Phelen You motherf*cker YOU ACCEPT THE MATCH NOW!

Dane: Geez, geez, fine....if thats what your little heart is set on,
I'll
just tell Sue she has to wait, and I'll emphatically kick your ass.
Hows that
sound snucums?

Phelen: Sounds perfect. Your mine come next Hostile Takeover!

Dane: Yeah and Victor Surprise was a tastey dish.

Phelen: THATS IT DAMN IT!

::Phelen runs out of the ring and runs after Wilt. Wilt takes off into
the
back.::

GP: That seems to be the popular ending to every interview that happens

between these two men.

JT: They have a pure hatred of eachother...mm mm mm good television.

GP: We'll be right back.

**Commercial Break**

Glass Dumpster Match
Pacific Title Match
Ken War defends against Jax Stone

GP: Welcome back folks and we've got another special stipulation match
lined
up for you!

JT: Another one, I know Chairman Dane is desperate for ratings but this
shit
is ridiculous.

Stinky: I disagree, I think that it's a very good id....

JT: Shut up bitch!

*SMACK*

GP: Even without Nikki we still get the good old SMACK.

JT: Somebody's gotta fill in.

Stinky: Screw you JT, I don't deserve this kind of abuse!

JT: Ok, Ok, Stumpy, I'll stop.

Stinky: IT'S NOT STUMPY! IT'S STINKY DAMMIT! STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS!
AHHHHHH!

JT: Ok......

GP: Let's get to our next match.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a special
BROKEN GLASS DUMPSTER MATCH FOR THE IWO PACIFIC TITLE! Introducing first,
the challenger, standing at 6'6" and weighing 269 pounds, being accompanied
by John Smythe, here is............JAX STONE!!!!!!!!

("Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie blasts as Jax Stone makes his way through
the curtains along with John Smythe. He climbs into the ring and waits.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, he is the IWO PACIFIC CHAMPION! Standing

at 6'5" and weighing 270 pounds, here is.............KEN WAR!!!!!!!!

("Master and Slave" by Kiss plays as Ken War runs down to the ring.)

GP: We are underway here! Ken War jumped jumped on top of the dumpster and

dove into the ring nailing Stone with a huge spear!

JT: What exactly is a broken glass dumpster match Sticky? Can you fll us
in?

Stinky: Well, I believe the dumpster is filled with broken glass and first
person to throw their opponent in is the....hey! MY NAME ISN'T STICKY!
IT'S
STINKY B. WIZZLECHEEKS!

JT: Yeah whatever. Wow look at Ken War pounding the hell outta Stone.

GP: He sure is, wait! Stone rolls over and now is punching War! War kicks

Stone off and clotheslines him out of the ring! War landed right on top of
the dumpster but he was spared because it's not open.

Stinky: Lucky him.

JT: Unlucky us though, I wanna see some blood!

Stinky: Well I'm sure in this type of a match you will see lots of blood.

JT: SHUT UP STIFFLER!

Stinky: IT'S STINKY!

GP: Stone is following War to the outside. He grabs War! NOOOOO! KEN WAR

JUST GRABBED A HANDFUL OF GLASS AND THREW IT IN STONE'S FACE!

JT: HAHAHAHAH! YES! BLOOD!

Stinky: That might have hurt.

JT: SHUT UP WHORE!

GP: I think Stone shielded himself in time to prevent permanent damage, but

still got the brunt of that glass.

JT: Ken War is one dirty fighting SOB, I've always loved him!

GP: Yes he sure is. Now War grabs Stone by the hair and slams him fae
first
into the guard rail! Vicious.

JT: MORE BLOOD!

GP: War must have heard you JT, because he's heading for the dumpster
again.
War has another handful of glass! He's going at Jax Stone with it! I don't

think Stone sees him! OH MY GOD! JAX STONE SAW HIM AND GAVE HIM A
SUPERKICK
KNOCKING ALL THE GLASS INTO WAR'S FACE! WE HAVE TWO MEN THAT ARE A BLOODY
MESS!

Stinky: Should I go call some paramedics?

JT: No, you should KILL YOURSELF!

Stinky: That's not nice, but this is the IWO and I love it!

JT: SHUT UP AND GO TO HELL YOU WASTE OF HUMAN LIFE!

GP: Stone grabs Ken War by the head. BULLDOG ONTO THE PILE OF GLASS!
STONE
ISN'T LETTING UP, HE'S GONNA PILEDRIVER WAR ONTO THE GLASS! NO!!! WAR
REVERSES IT INTO A BACK BODY DROP! LOOK AT STONE'S BACK! IT'S COVERED IN
GLASS!

JT: That's awesome!

Stinky: I'm gonna be sick.

JT: Pussy.

GP: War is up now and so is Stone. War blasts Stone with a running
clothesline that nearly turned the big man inside out! War is signaling for

the end already! He's opening up the dumpster.....but wait! HERE COMES
VAMPYRE JOHN MCRAE! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE!

JT: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!

Stinky: Oh my god! FLYING MONKIES!

GP: Dear god he's right! There are flying monkies hovering above McRae's
head! They are POOPING!

JT: Shit! take cover!

(JT and GP dives under the table while Stinky gets bombared with monkey
terds! John McRae starts yelling something at the monkies about one of them

having a whore for a mom or something and the monkies take acception and
swoop down to the attack. McRae fights valiantly against the monkies, but
they are two strong and numerous for him. Lindley Taber runs down to try
and
save him, but is bitch slapped by the lead monkey. The monkies then grab
McRae and fly out through the arena roof with him. JT and GP climb out from

underneath the desk.)

JT: That was some weird ass shit!

GP: Yes.....well, ON WITH THE MATCH. That distraction allowed Jax Stone to

get the upper hand over Ken War.

Stinky: I have to go change my clothes, those monkies pooped all over me.

JT: GOOD, LEAVE STUPID.

Stinky: It's Stinky.....Stinky B. Wizzlecheeks.....

GP: Now Jax Stone is trying to throw Ken War into the dumpster. You're not

gonna get War in there unless he's unconscious.

JT: Hey, War may be a good wrestler, but he sucked as an announcer.

GP: He sure did. Now Stone grabs a chair and starts bashing it across
War's
back. Stone tries to throw War in again, but War grabs Stone and sends him
into the dumpster with a snap mare! All he has to do is close the lid!

JT: No! Stone just kicked the first half of the lid into War's face!

GP: Stone climbs out of the dumpster, he's got glass sticking everywhere in

him! War is stumbling around and Stone is waiting for him to turn around.
WAR TURNS AROUND, STONE BOOTS HIM IN THE
STOMACH.......ELIMINATION!!!!!!(fameasser) WAR IS OUT! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A
NEW PACIFIC CHAMPION!

JT: He's still gotta get War into that dumpster, and I don't think he can
do
it!

GP: Well Jax isn't wasting any time, he's got War up on his shoulder in a
fireman's carry and is taking him towards the dumpster. STONE'S ABOUT TO
DUMP KEN WAR IN THE DUMPSTER! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMP! NOOO!

JT: Damn! Ken War just reversed that fireman's carry into a DDT!

GP: Both men are down now! War is slowly pulling himself to his feet.
Stone is up too. They're going shot for shot! War takes the advantage. He

goes for a suplex but Stone blocks it and reverses it! Stone picks War up,
he goes for another Elimination, but War flips him off! JAX LANDS ON HIS
FEET BUT IS MET WITH A DROPKICK! STONE FALLS BACK INTO THE RINGPOST AND WAR

FOLLOWS IN WITH A CLOTHESLINE BUT STONE DUCKS AWAY! STONE GRABS WAR!
POWERBOMB! STONE PICKS WAR UP, HE TRIES TO GORILLA PRESS HIM, HE CAN'T GET
HIM! WAR KNEES STONE IN THE STOMACH, HE NAILS HIM WITH A PEDIGREE! WAR IS
BRINGING STONE INTO THE RING! HE TAKES HIM TO THE TOP ROPE! BLACK
DIAMOND!(top rope leaping falcon, whatever the hell that is) OH MY GOD A
BLACK DIAMOND FROM INSIDE THE RING INTO THE DUMPSTER! JAX STONE MAY BE
DEAD!

JT: Jesus Christ what the hell just happened.

GP: Ken War just nailed Stone with the Black Diamond from inside the ring
and now he's climbing out of the dumpster. Stone isn't moving, I think this

one is over! Ken War's closing the dumpster lids, IT'S OVER! KEN WAR IS
YOUR WINNER AND HE'LL RETAIN THE PACIFIC TITLE!

JT: I told you.

Stinky: Did I miss anything?

JT: No, we didn't even know you were gone.

GP: Stuffy, you missed one of the most insane series of moves ever.

Stinky: IT'S STINKY DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T EVEN GET IT RIGHT PARKER? DO i CALL

YOU PORKER? NOOO! DO I CALL YOU PT? OR QT? OR E.T.? NOOOO! CALL ME BY
MY REAL NAME!

JT: Damn, calm down Shitty.

Stinky: AHHHHHHH!

GP: Anyway folks, Ken War is still the Pacific Champion after a grueling
match with Jax Stone that could have gone either way.

JT: Yeah right, War had it won all the way.

GP: I'm just recieving word that the flying monkies have taken Vampyre John

McRae off to see the wicked witch of the West. Apparently the monkies
thought Lindley Taber was Dorothy and John McRae was the scarecrow and they
were trying to gang bang Toto or something.

JT: That's sick.

GP: Of course this note was passed onto me by the leader of the flying
monkies so Im not sute of it's accuracy.

JT: Oh, that's good.

::The scene cuts to the back and you see Chairman Dane walking around with
Earthquake and Jimmy Hart. They suddenly stop in the middle of the hall way

and seem to be blocking someones way.::

C.Dane:Pardon me sir...we must talk...

Familiar Voice:About poop?

C.Dane:No not about poop...

Earthquake:Hehehehehe poop!

Jimmy:SHUTUP BABY!

C.Dane:Well actually kinda about "poop"....you see Max your jokes about
human
waste products must stop...they are simply not appropriate for our high
quality family programing.

Mad Max:But poop is funny!

C.Dane:No it is in no way funny...it is dsicusting!

Mad Max:So your telling me I can't tell poop jokes anymore?

C.Dane:That's correct....

Mad Max:Okay that'll work fine...I can live.

C.Dane:Thank you sir...have a wholesome day.

::Dane begins to walk away and suddenly a large hunk of poop smacks him in
the back of the head.::

Max:POOP ON YOU!

C.Dane:Oh you'll regret that...get em' Quake!

::Earthquake takes two steps towards him and falls down desperatley trying
to
catch his breath.::

Earthquake:Pweeeeeeeeeeeee...he's..pweeeeeeeeeeee...is...pwweeeeeeeee....too

fast....PWEEEEEEEE!

C.Dane:You may have won this round Max but I will win the war!

Max:I threw poop at you!

***Commercial Break****

Shack vs. TRO
GP: FANS! WHILE YOU WERE OUT, THE COMBATENTS OF THE US TITLE MATCH
STARTED
THE MATCH EARLY!

JT: Yeah! TRO now has Justin Shack up. DVD!

SBW: TRO now goes to the top rope. Leg drop! Nice move by TRO!

JT: TRO WITH A COVER!

1.....2.....NO!

GP: That was pretty close. It's not looking good for Shack now!

JT: Strike that! Shack gouges the eyes of TRO. That's the kind of
wrestling
that I like to see!

GP: You mean cheating.

JT: YEAH!

GP: Well, Shack pulls TRO up, and an atomic drop to TRO!

JT: Shack goes to the top rope. Moonsault onto TRO!

GP: Shack for a cover!

1....2....NO!

GP: TRO just won't lie down!

JT: TRO is getting up slowly. Shack just watches.

GP: LOW BLOW TO SHACK!

SBW: TRO grabs Shack. DDT!

GP: TRO runs into the ropes and bounces off. Moonsault!

JT: TRO FOR A COVER!

1.....2......NO!

GP: SO CLOSE!

JT: TRO is still on top of this thing though!

GP: TRO sets up Shack next to the ropes! I THINK I KNOW WHAT THIS IS
LEADING
TO!

JT: TRO goes to the top rope!

GP: END OF DAYS (Tornado DDT)!

JT: WHAT A MOVE!

GP: TRO WITH A COVER!

1.....2....3!

GP: TRO WINS! WE'VE GOT A NEW US CHAMP!

JT: IT WASN'T EVEN A WEEK AGO THAT SHACK WON THE TITLE! THAT MIGHT BE
SOME
KIND OF RECORD!

GP: THIS IS A HUGE WIN FOR TRO! MAYBE HE'LL BE THE GREAT CHAMP THAT I
PREDICTED SHACK WOULD BE MONDAY!

::Scene cuts to the back and you see Chrome Thunder battered and beaten
after
a hard fought match. He is approached by Evan Levine in the back.::

Evan:Hey buddy...hard lost.

Chrome:Yeah...I think I gave it a good shot though...

Evan:Yes you certainly did...you know what Chrome....

Chrome:What's that bud?

Evan:I'm glad I took friendship over a faceless stable.

Chrome:Your a smart guy I knew ya would...

Evan:Put her their....

::The Beverly Hill Bruisers suddenly attack Chrome from behind. They
begin
to beat him to the ground with gulf clubs and Evan is now stomping the
hell
out of him. The throw their 9 irons down on him and walk off.::

Evan:Sorry buddy....but friendship don't get far in this biz...

***Commercial Break****

*last one should have been 8...had two part 7*

GP: Alright fans.. here we have a match that could be
main event caliber. Two men, both
hate eachother, and both are former world champions.
Its tough to pick a winner here,
JT.

JT: Yeah, but if I have to pick one, Im going with
Wildman Billy Larson, cause he is
just too damn cool

SBW: Id like to oppose JT and select Ashton Cain...

JT: SHUT UP YOU FAGGIT!

Ring Announcer: The following match is scheduled for
one fall, and is no DQ. Inroducing
first..

::"Only One" by Slipknot starts to play::

Ring Announcer: Weighing in at 285 pounds.. a former
IWO Heavyweight Champion of
the World.. one half of what used to be HOSTILE
YOUTH.. he is... ASHTON CAIN!
Accompanied by Alexis Cain.

::Ashton Cain walks out to a big pop. He heads down
the aisle and gets in the ring.::

Ring Announcer: And his opponent..

:: "Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit starts to play::

Ring Announcer: Weighing in a 255 pounds.. also a
former IWO Heavyweight World
Champion.. he is regarded as one of the best the IWO
has to offer.. he is BILLY
LARSON! Accompanied by Summer.

::Billy Larson comes out to mostly boos and gets in
the ring. The bell sounds and the
match starts::

GP: Larson is in a hurry to get this thing started, he
is hammering away on the back of
Ashton Cain. Cain cant get anything going and Larson
whips him into the ropes.. OH
WOW! What a clothesline. Larson hauls Cain up again
and kicks him in the stomach..
wham! Axe kick!

JT: Cain is up but he doesnt look all that good, and
hes staggering into the corner to
catch his breath.. Larson is charging in..OH! Cain
stuck his elbow out and caught Billy
Larson in the face! Larson staggers back...
CLOTHESLINE BY CAIN! Larson was just
taken down!

SBW: Aston Cain is using his superior wrestling
ability to gain an advantage. Very
admirable. Now Cain has Larson.. he does one of those
maneuvers where you take the
oppoenent down head first.. you know.. a .. a..

JT: A DDT, you nerd!

GP: Yes, Cain with a DDT and now he is stoping on the
neck of Billy Larson. Ouch, that
has to hurt. Cain pulls Larson up, big chop across the
chest.. Larson staggering into the
ropes and Cain is charging.. Larson back body flips
Ashton Cain over the top rope!
OUCH! Cain falls head first to the concrete floor!!!

JT: HA, WHAT A SHOT! Cain is hurt, I think.

GP: Larson hops over the top rope and now hes going
over and hes got a chair.. Cain is
coming to, and looking around.. he doesnt see
Larson.. WHAM! CHAIR SHOT! Cain
falls to the ground.. Larson puts the chair down and
now he has Cain.. ONE HANDED
SCOOP SLAM! ONTO THE CHAIR!!!

JT: Larson stomps Cain a few times now he is going up
onto the apron.. ELBOW DROP
OFF THE APRON.. NO! CAIN MOVES! CAIN MOVES AND
LARSONS ELBOW
JUST CONNECTED WITH THE CHAIR!

GP: Now both men are down but Cain is getting up
slowly.. he rolls Larson into the ring
and now he has a broomstick from under the ring.
Ashton Cain into the ring and he blasts
Larson with a superkick, now he is choking him with
the broomstick. Cain tosses Larson
back to the outside and brings him over to the
guardrail.. Cain tosses Larson out into the
crowd and now he has unseated one fan.. CAIN USES THE
CHAIR ON LARSON!

SBW: That fan is very upset.. and rightfully so.

JT: Shut up Stinky. Ashton and Larson are brawling
through the crowd now.. Larson now
has the advantage and they brawl all the way to the
technician table.. Larson scoops Cain
up onto his shoulder.. LARSON IS GOING FOR A
TOMBSTONE... NO! CAIN
SLIDES OF LARSONS SHOULDER... FACE BUSTER THROUGH THE
TABLE!
HOLY SH*T! LARSON IS BUSTED OPEN AND ASTHON CAIN IS
SHOWING NO
MERCY!

GP: ASHTON CAIN HAS A PIECE OF THE BROKEN TABLE AND HE
SMASHES
IT OVER THE HEAD OF BILLY LARSON! THE TABLE SHATTERS
INTO MORE
PIECES AND LARSON FALLS TO THE GROUND, CRAWLING MADLY
AWAY
FROM CAIN WHO IS LIKE A SAVAGE OUT THERE! LARSON HAS A
SPLINTER
FROM THE TABLE... HE STABS CAIN IN THE GUT WITH IT!!!

JT: GEEZ! Larson dropkicks Cain and he falls into the
camera tower. Ashton is rushing
towards Larson now trying to get an advantage but
Larson ducks.. BACK BODY DROP!
CAINS FACE HIT THE CONCRETE FLOOR AND NOW HES
BLEEDING!

GP: Larson pulls Cain up and tugs him toward the
camera tower... Larson is slamming
Ashton Cains face into the tower and blood is
spitting out everywhere. Billy Larson now
lifts Cain up and rams him face first into the tower..
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THE
F*CKING TOWER IS FALLING! THE TOWER JUST FELL RIGHT ON
TOP OF
BILLY LARSON AND ASHTON CAIN! HOLY SH*T!!!!

SBW: AHH! ARE THEY HURT?????

JT: THE WHOLE CROWD IS IN SHOCK AND NOBODY IS MOVING!

::several minutes pass. EMTs arrive on the scene.::

GP: Well folks, this is really bad. Billy Larson has
been retrieved but it looks like Ashton
Cain will have to go to the hospital. Right now EMTs
are currently trying to get Cain
onto a stretcher without causing any further injury,
and Larson is heading back towards
the ring. It looks like Billy Larson will win by
default.

Ring Announcer: YOUR WINNER... BILLY LARSON!

::Larson hops up and down in the ring.. when
suddenly..::

GP: THE CROWD IS ON ITS FEET AS ASHTON CAIN IS RUNNING
BACK DOWN
THE RAMP! A F*CKING CAMERA TOWER JUST FELL ON HIS HEAD
BUT CAIN
HATES LARSON SO MUCH HE DOESNT WANT TO LET THIS ONE
END!
LARSON IS SHOCKED BUT HERE COMES CAIN!

JT: HOW CAN HE STILL BE STANDING?!?!

GP: ASHTON CAIN JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND COMES
STRAIGHT FOR
LARSON! HIGH DROPKICK! CAIN SCOOPS HIM UP, ANOTHER
DROP KICK!
LARSON IS TOTALLY TAKEN ABACK AND THE BALL IS IN
CAINS CORNER!

JT: Ashton Cain picks Larson up... SAMOAN DROP! CAIN
SENDS LARSON INTO
THE TURNBUCKLE AND NOW HE IS PUTTING HIM UP TOP..
DRAGOSTEINER!

GP: ASHTON CAIN! ASHTON CAIN NOW HAS LARSON AGAIN...
HE JUST
NAILED LARSON WITH A DVD!!! LARSON IS GETTING OUT OF
THE RING,
HES HAD ENOUGH!! OH JESUS! CAIN JUST MOONSAULTED OVER
THE TOP
ROPE AND LANDED ON BILLY LARSON! CAIN PICKS LARSON UP
AND
SUPLEXS HIM ONTO THE RAMP.. NOW HE STOMPS ON LARSONS
FACE!

JT: BILLY LARSON IS GETTING TO HIS FEET, HES TRYING
TO COUNTER
CAINS MOMENTUM! ASHTON CAIN THROWS A RIGHT HAND,
LARSON
COUNTERS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! LARSON WITH ANOTHER
RIGHT HAND!
LARSON KNOCKS CAIN OVER THE GUARDRAIL AND INTO THE
CROWD,
THEN HE DOES A FROG SPLASH OFF THE TOP OF THE RAIL,
AND TAKES
OUT A HALF DOZEN FANS TOO!

GP: THE REF IS DOWN TO MAKE THE COUNT, THIS COULD BE
OVER!

1....

2....

....NO! KICK OUT!

GP: AFTER ALL THIS, CAIN STILL HAS SOME FIGHT LEFT IN
HIM! BILLY
LARSON STANDS CAIN UP AND TOSSES HIM BACK ONTO THE
RING RAMP,
NOW HE SUPLEXES.. NO, A BRAINBUSTER! LARSON JUST
EXECUTED A
BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE STEEL RAMP! ANOTHER COVER!

1....

2....

thre..NO!

JT: I CANT BELIVE IT! LARSON PULLS CAIN UP AND ROLLS
HIM BACK INTO
THE RING.. HES GOING FOR ARMAGEDDON! THIS ONE IS
GOING TO BE
OVER FANS!

GP: NO! NO ITS NOT BECAUSE ASHTON CAIN JUST KICKED
BILLY LARSON
IN THE FACE! LARSON STAGGERS BACKWARDS AND CAIN COMES
OUT OF
THE CORNER.. HEADSPEAR! CAIN IS HEADING TO THE CORNER....SHOOTING STAR
PRESS.....NO! TITAN OUT OF NO WHERE JUST LAUNCHED CAIN OFF THE TURN
BUCKLE!
NOW TITAN IS IN THE RING...GRABS CAIN....X-PRESS ON CAIN!

JT:LARSON IS UP.....ARMEGEDON ON CAIN! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL
AND
SECURITY IS SWARMING THE RING....

Ring Announcer:Your winner by DQ Ashton Cain.

GP:Titan and Larson are now being forced out of the ring....and Cain is
still
knocked out in the ring....

***Commercial Break***

Tag Team War Match
World Tag Team Titles and I/C tag titles
Project Deuce vs. The Beverly Hills Bruisers vs.
The Prep Kids
Okay this one is just gunna be nuts. Tornado style No
DQ. First team
eliminated gets a nice pat on the back . Second gets
the I/C tag
titles. Last team gets the World Tag Team titles.

GP: Next up we have the tag team titles on the line,
as well as the IC tag titles. This one is
going to be nuts, guys.

JT: No sh*t there Greg. Maybe if we’re lucky, somebody
will bleed or be eaten or
something.

SBW: Um.. if that happens, do you guys mind if I cover
my eyes?

JT: Shut up you pussy, did I say you could speak?!?!

SBW:*meekly* I’m sorry.

GP: Let’s talk for just a second about the history
going into this match. The Prep Kids and
the Beverly Hills Bruisers - lots of history. Deuce,
however, isn’t really involved all that
much.

SBW: That’s an advantage for Deuce.... isn’t it?

JT: SHUT UP! NO! IT’S AN ADVANTAGE FOR THE BHB, OKAY?!

GP: As much as I hate to agree with JT, yeah. The Prep
Kids and The Bruisers know each
other allot better and they are going to be more
prepared. Also, you have to factor in
experience. The BHB have been in the IWO for close to
a year now, and the Prep Kids
have already been back two months. The Project is just
getting their start. But, on the
other hand, Deuce boasts and impressive undefeated
record.

JT: Shut up and let’s get to the match okay Greg?

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen.. the following
matchup is a tag team war match,
and it is for BOTH the World Tag Team Titles and The
Intercontinental Tag Team titles!

::big cheer from the fans.::

Ring Announcer: Introducing first.. from Beverly
Hills, California.. At a total combined
weight of four-hundred and sixty-four pounds.. being
accompanied by Caren Dudley and
the IWO World Champion Dane Wilt.. they are Brian and
Michael Dudley, THE
BEVERLY HILLS BRUISERS!

:: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” comes on as the BHB
come down with Wilt and Caren.
Dane carries the World Title over his shoulder. The
crowd boo’s heavily as The Bruisers
get in the ring and wait for their opponents.::

GP: It’s been a long time since the BHB have not been
introduced as champions.

JT: That’s cause they’re the best! Them and Dane Wilt!

Ring Announcer: Their opponents.. also from Beverly
Hills, and weighing in at a
combined total of three-hundred and ninety-seven
pounds.. the self proclaimed Coolest
Wrestlers in the IWO.. The Intercontinental Tag team
champions... “The Phoenix” Randal
McCloud “The Superstar” Jordan Howitt, THE PREP KIDS!

Broken Record Voice: AND YOUR WINNERS.... THE PREP
KIDS!

:: “One Man Army: McCloud Edit” begins as TPK walk
down the aisle. The crowd cheers
them as they raise the IC belts before handing them to
the official.

GP: These two sure have earned the affection of the
fans since the double ladder match.

JT: BAH! The Bruisers made that match great, not the
stupid preppy kiddies.

Ring Announcer : And their opponents.. at a combined
weight of five-hundred and thirty
pounds.. Masters of the Fallen Angel and holders of
the IWO Tag Team Championships..
Deus and Sefirosu... PROJECT DEUCE!

::"The Ecstasy of Gold" by Metallica starts to play as
Project Deuce makes their way
down to a mixed reaction.::

GP: We’re ready to get underway here fans.. all six
men in the ring at one time and the
match is elimination style!

SBW: This one is going to be messy, I’m afraid.

JT: You would be.... pussy!

::DING, DING, DING!::

GP: Here we go! Jordan Howitt and Deus are going at it
in one corner, Randal McCloud
and Brian Dudley are in another and Sefirosu has
Michael Dudley up against a third
turnbuckle! McCloud just tossed Brian over the top
rope and now he’s on his way over to
help his partner. Brian Dudley is up quick though and
he slides into the ring and takes
McClouds knee out.

JT: Jordan Howitt is pummeling on Deus, and now
Sefirosu abandons Michael Dudley to
go help his partner! Sefirosu pulls Jordan off the
turnbuckle before he could get a 10
punch started and now Project Deuce is stomping on
Jordan Howitt. Michael Dudley has
gone over and he and Brian are laying the beats on
Randal McCloud.

SBW: The Prep Kids are getting killed here. This isn’t
fair... four on two!

JT: Shut up Stinky, nobody asked you!

SBW: You don’t have to make comments about my odor you
know..

JT: I’m not, it’s your name.. idiot.

GP: Anyway, Project Deuce and The Bruisers have beaten
the hell out of TPK and now
the four of them are fighting amongst eachother.
Michael Dudley has Sefirosu.. scoop
slam! Now he grabs Deus and tosses him towards Brian
who catches him. BIDAM!
Three-quarter turn neckbreaker!

JT: Bidam, Greg? The Bruisers are kicking ass!

GP: They sure are! Michael Dudley just dropped an
elbow across the back of Sefirosu and
now is pulling him to his feet. Michael going for a
right hook but Sefirosu blocks it and
returns with a right hand of his own, and another.
Michael Dudley staggering back now
towards the ropes.. WHEEL KICK! Randal McCloud just
got up and knocked Michael
Dudley out of the ring via a big wheel kick. Jordan
Howitt has Deus now.. DDT! The
Prep Kids are on top now! Jordan Has Deus up now for a
Prep Drop.. NO! Deus slides
off his shoulder and nails Jordan in the kidney! OUCH!

JT: Where are the BHB? Randal McCloud trying for a
high flipping drop kick... NO, he
misses as Sefirosu steps out of the way! Now Sefirosu
stomping on the chest of Randal
and he is looking hurt here fans.. GOOD!

GP: Jordan Howitt hits Deus now with a double leg
takedown.. The Bruisers have
regrouped outside of the ring.. Howitt runs across..
HOLY SH*T! JORDAN HOWITT
JUST MOONSAULTED OFF THE TOP ROPE AND HIT BOTH BEVERLY
HILLS
BRUISERS! THE FANS ARE GOING CRAZY AS ALL THREE MEN
ARE DOWN
ON THE OUTSIDE!

JT: And now PD is taking this opportunity to double
team McCloud.. gotta love that Prep
Kids Team work! HA! Double Powerbomb by the two
powerhouses and Randal the
lightweight is getting the sh*t kicked out of him!
Sefirosu has Randal up.. ANOTHER
POWERBOMB! RANDAL MCCLOUD IS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED!

GP: Jordan Howitt is up on the outside now but he has
Michael Dudley.. he rams him face
first into the steps! Jordan is stomping away on
Michael Dudley now and Brian is up too..
Howitt turns to meet him and now Jordan and Brian are
brawling.. Jordan tosses Brian
into the ring where Deuce is performing a massacre on
Randal McCloud. Brian grabs
Sefirosu from behind.. reverse falling DDT! Deus
doesn’t like that one bit and he grabs
Brian in a chokehold!

JT: WHA! Where’s the ref? THAT IS AN ILLEGAL MOVE!
Deus picks Brian up by the
throat and tosses him now, thank goodness he released
that chokehold, what a cheater!

SBW: You know JT... The Bruisers cheat sometimes too..

JT: SHUT THE HELL UP STINKY!

GP: Jordan Howitt has destroyed Michael Dudley on the
outside now and he is in the
ring.. Brian Dudley is going up top.. Howitt has
Sefirosu up for a vertical suplex and
McCloud just hit Deus with a low blow.. Brian off the
top.. HEY! SUNSET IN
BEVERLY HILLS!! JORDAN HOWITT AND BRIAN DUDLEY, WHO
WERE
PARTNERS LAST WEEK, JUST UNWITTINGLY LANDED THE SUNSET
IN
BEVERLY HILLS! The ref is down to make the count!

JT: 1.......

2.......

........3!!!!!

GP: DEUCE IS ELIMINATED! DEUCE IS ELIMINATED! WE’RE
GOING TO
HAVE NEW CHAMPS HERE TONIGHT!

::PD furiously rolls out of the ring. Two guys in IWO
Staff T-shirts run up and pat them
on the back as they walk up the ramp.::

JT: HA! The Prep Kids are going down!

GP: It’s down to the two most hateful rivals in the
IWO today, The Prep Kids and The
Beverly Hills Bruisers.

JT: HEY! LOOK AT THIS TWO ON ONE!

SBW: Weren’t The Prep Kids getting ganged up on
before?

JT: Stinky, you know what I’m about to say..

SBW & JT: SHUT UP!

GP: Randal and Jordan are now double teaming Brian
Dudley.. Jordan whips Brian
towards Randal.. clothesline! Now Randal with a leg
drop across the throat and Jordan
drops an elbow to the inside thigh of Brian Dudley..
what precision in their team work!

JT: TEAM WORK?!? They’re CHEATING, Greg! Thank God
that Michael is up now
and he is in the ring.. HA! He just grabbed that punk
cheater McCloud... REVERSE
SUPLEX! Randal McCloud is worn out and now it’s Jordan
Howitt’s turn to feel four
fists beating you down!

GP: How quickly the tides have turned here as now the
BHB are hammering away on a
weakening Jordan Howitt. Howitt goes down to all fours
and Michael Dudley kicks him
savagely in the kidney! OUCH!

JT: HAHA! Now Brian is going to the top and Michael is
holding Howitt.. NO! THAT
BASTARD DUCKED AND BRIAN HIT HIS OWN PARTNER WITH A
FLYING
LARIAT!

GP: Randal McCloud is up now, as the momentum of this
match is like a see-saw, back
and forth. Randal helps up Jordan and now they two are
stomping on Brian Dudley..
Michael is recovering but McCloud meets him and tosses
him into the ropes.. WHAM!
High leg clothesline! I’ve never seen such agility! He
got six feet off the ground and
Michael Dudley goes crashing to the mat.. uh oh.

JT: YES! Dane Wilt is FINALLY getting involved. Wilt
has Howitt now and he pulls him
to the outside, ramming his face into the guardrail!
YES! GO DANE! Now a reverse
Russian leg sweep! ONTO THE CONCRETE! HAHAHA!

SBW: Oh no.. Jordan is bleeding.. oh no, I’m feeling
squeamish.

JT: BLOOD! YES! HAHA SHUT UP PUSSY!

GP: Randal McCloud is now desperately trying to fight
off both Bruisers.. right hand to
Michael, right hand to Brian, back and forth, but he
just can’t do it! Brian has come back
and he hits Randal with a right hand.. now Michael
with a kick to McCloud’s gut..
OUCH!

JT: Dane Wilt smashes the bloody Jordan Howitt into
the ring post.. now he scoop slams
him THROUGH A TABLE! HAHA OH MAN THIS IS GREAT! Jordan
just can’t garner
any offense at all!

GP: In the ring, Randal is getting wasted! Double DDT
now, poor McCloud, all he’s been
getting is double teams. Now Michael has Randal up in
a vertical suplex, could be The
Sunset In.. NO! McCloud some how reversed the suplex!
Brian Dudley goes sailing off
into thin air and all three men are down in the ring
now!

JT: NO! COME ON GUYS, DANE IS DOING HIS PART! HE’S
HELPING OUT,
NOW GET IT DONE!

GP: Wilt and Howitt are the only two standing, but the
way it’s going that isn’t going to
last much longer! Wilt is just KILLING Jordan Howitt!
Now he smashes his already
cracked face into the EDGE of the ring steps! JESUS!

JT: OH MAN THIS IS FANTASTIC! Dane Wilt is just
WHIPING HIS ASS with
Howitt! Uh oh... FACE LIFT! AHAHAHAHA! DANE WILT JUST
GAVE THE FACE
LIFT TO JORDAN HOWITT! HE’S OUT!

GP: Now Wilt is getting in the ring and The BHB are
coming to.. Brian takes one of
McClouds arms and Michael takes the other.. now Caren
Dudley has just given Dane a
bag of goodies.. what the hell is he taking out?

JT: A RUSTED CHAINSAW!

GP: Dane Wilt has just taken out that rusted chainsaw
and he is waving it around.. OH
MY GOD! HE JUST SMASHED MCCLOUD IN THE FACE WITH THE
CHAINSAW! HOLY SH*T! HOLY F*CKING SH*T!

JT: HAHA YES! HE’S BLEEDING!

::SBW passes out::

JT: B*TCH!

GP: NO! WILT HAS THE CHAINSAW UP... ANOTHER SHOT!
RANDAL
MCCLOUD IS GOING TO DIE HERE FOLKS, I TRUELY BELIEVE
THAT!
ANOTHER SHOT! HOLY SH*T! ANOTHER F*CKING SHOT TO THE
CHOPS
WITH THE CHAINSAW! DANE IS KILLING HIM! SOMEBODY STOP
THIS SH*T,
THIS JUST ISN’T RIGHT! ANOTHER SHOT IN THE FACE,
MCCLOUD IS SPLIT
WIDE OPEN ON THE FOREHEAD AND THE CHEEK!

JT: HAHAHA! Now Dane is holding up his World Title
belt.. He is showing it to all the
fans.. why are they booing?

GP: Randal McCloud has a funny look in his eye, I
think he is seeing his life flash before
his eyes.. Dane Wilt is bring the belt down to
McClouds eye level and pointing at it...
McCLOUD! McCLOUD JUST KICKED THE BELT INTO DANE’S FACE
AND NOW
HE IS COMING TO! AFTER WHAT HE JUST WENT THROUGH THIS
IS
AMAZING! THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET AS McCLOUD KICKS
DANE AGAIN
AND HE GOES TUMBLING THROUGH THE ROPES! JORDAN HOWITT
IS
RECOVERING..

JT: WHAT? NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!

GP: RANDAL MC-F’N CLOUD! HE JUST PULLED ONE ARM FREE
AND NOW HE
IS ELBOWING BRIAN DUDLEY IN THE FACE! THE OTHER ARM IS
FREE! HOW
CAN HE POSSIBLY STILL BE STANDING?!?

JT: FALL YOU IDIOT! LOOOOOSSSEEEEEEE DAMMIT, LOSE!
LOSE YOU
IDIOT!

GP: RANDAL IS TRYING TO COMEBACK HERE FANS.. VERTICAL
SUPLEX ON
MICHAEL DUDLEY.. NO! REVERSED! BRIAN IS UP TOP AND
WE’RE GOING
TO SEE THE SUNSET IN BEVERLY HILLS! WHAT IS HOWITT
DOING?!?

JT: YES! WHAT? WAIT! NOOOO! WHAT THE HELL!

GP: JORDAN HOWITT IS UP! HE GRABS BRIAN BY THE LEG AND
PULLS HIM
DOWN ON THE TURNBUCKLE! MICHAEL CAN’T HOLD MCCLOUD
ANYLONGER, HE COLLAPSES! BRIAN FALLS ONTO JORDANS
SHOULDERS....
OH MY GOD!!!!! PREP DROP! PREP DROP!

JT: RANDAL McCLOUD IS UP ON TOP NOW! NOOOO THIS CAN’T
BE
HAPPENING!!

GP: THE AMERICAN DREAM! THE AMERICAN DREAM ON BRIAN
DUDLEY!!!
AND JORDAN JUST HIT EMERALD FUSION ON MICHAEL DUDLEY!
RANDAL
IS MAKING THE COVER!!!

1..........


2..........


...........3!!!!!!!!

GP: THE PREP KIDS HAVE WON IT! THE PREP KIDS HAVE WON
THE TAG
TITLES FOR THE SECOND TIME, MAKING THEM THE SECOND
TEAM IN
HISTORY TO DO IT!!!

::In the ring, the BHB lay motionless as The Prep Kids
are handed the tag team titles.
Randal McCloud takes a mic::

Randal McCloud: Bruisers, once upon a time I heard
about your ‘plan’. Now tell me..
where, exactly, does THIS fit into the plan?

GP: Randal McCloud looks like hell folks, but the fact
is, he and his partner have won the
tag team championships for the second time, making The
Prep Kids record holders with
Hostile Youth. Jordan Howitt is also the only man in
the IWO besides “The Legend”
Phelen Kell to become a three time IWO World Tag Team
Champion.

JT: DAMMIT, This is SOOO disappointing! Wake up
Stinky, I want to hassle you some!

::commercial break::

::We see Chairman Dane walking through the back in the locker rooms
with a
mini chalkboard in his hand. He walks toward a door and knocks on it.
On the
door reads "TITAN: Keep the Hell Out". Chairman Dane pulls out his
trusty
Duct Tape and puts a piece over the "hell" part. Titan opens the door
and
looks down at Chairman Dane.::

Titan: What do you want?

Chairman Dane: Well I'd like to come in and talk to you about your
status
with the IWO Mr. Titan sir.

Titan: Get in here.

::Titan grabs Chairman Dane and throws him inside. Dane sets up his
chalkboard on a chair. On it are the numerous TV rating symbols. He
pulls out
a lazer pointer and begins pointing.::

Chairman Dane: Now you see Mr. Titan...although your in ring talent is
very
good...and I'm sure President Jamie...our great great leader...and
mentor to
thousands...is very pleased with it. But as THE Head of the IWO
Censorship
Department...I feel its my duty to talk to you right now. You
see...your
recent "interviews" and actions in the IWO...you could say they are...
totally immoral.

Titan: I'm listening.

Chairman Dane: Well, I'm on a mission to cut out all the "potty
mouthing" and
bad bad things here in the IWO because after all we are a family
entertainment show. Now if we ever can aquire...this little rating
right
here...

::Dane points to TVMA.::

Chairman Dane: Then you could do your little dirty fun and games. But
we're
not there...we're here.

::Points to TVPG.::

Chairman Dane: And I don't want us to lose fans because your such a sex
fiend.

Titan: Kinda funny...I think people like all the things I do.

Chairman Dane: Well...yes its a proven fact that they do...but they
don't
know what they want...we the TV people do. And we are a TV PG show.

Titan; We are?

Chairman Dane: Yes, as a matter of fact we are.

Titan; Wow...I didn't know that. Amazing. Hey thanks Chairman Dane..for

showing me the light.

Chairman Dane: It was my pleasure.

Titan: Put her there pal!

::Titan puts his hand out for Dane to shake it. He grabs Dane and lifts
him
up in the air and begins carrying him through the halls and to the
bathroom.
Dane is whining and crying all the way. Titan holds Chairman Dane
upside down
in a toilet and proceeds to give him a nice swirley. He gives him a
second
one and then drops him on the floor.::

Titan: Listen up you f*ckin' little meal worm...your ass doesn't
control me,
or anyone here in the IWO, no matter how much you kiss Kosoys ass! And
man...if I wanna have immoral skits...sh*t if I wanna have sex with
some dame
in the middle of the ring there aint a damn thing you can do about it.
So I
suggest you keep your little ass out of my way. Got me?

::Chairman Dane is soaked in blue water on the floor crying.::

Chairman Dane: You just wait until President Jamie hears what you did!
You'll
be in trouble you poo head! I'm gonna suspend you next time! You just
watch.

::The scene fades to the ring as we see Chairman Dane crying on the
floor.::

Suicidal Tendencies Match
Extreme Title
Al Coholic vs. Mad Max
GP: Alright fans, next match up here we've got Suicidal Tendencies
Match for
the Extreme title.

JT: Thats right Greg, we've got Mad Max taking on the champion himself
Al
Coholic. There had better be some damn blood thats all I have to say
about it.

SBW: Is that all you think about?

JT: NO I like sex to.

SBW: Your a neanderthaul. No wonder Nikki only has sex with me.

JT: WHAT? You got her to have sex with you?

SBW: Hehe....yes she had some fun with the Stinkanator. Let me tell
you!

JT: B@STARD! Why do I always get shafted like this? Huh? Why?

GP: Your an asshole man. Plain and simple.

JT: Hey I have feelings! I can be a nerd like Snibbley A. Puffyass.

SBW: ITS....ah the hell with it.

GP: Well anyway boys...as usual it-

JT: Let me guess "Who are your picks to win the match." Right?

GP: Well...yeah.

JT: Why the hell do you ask us that every week? HuH?

GP: Well it gives the fans insite on who we think has the edge.

JT: Big deal. Who cares about them anyway?

SBW: Hey the fans are what keep us going.

JT: No...the wrestling and the sex is what keeps us going because the
fans
like it.

SBW: Not true.

JT: Shut up Stiffy M. Buttplug.

SBW: GOD DAMN IT!

GP: Well the hell with the picks this week then, lets just go to the
matche
shall we?

JT: Yes.

GP: And down to ringside we go.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, this next fall is for the IWO Extreme
title.
This match...will take place under these stipulations....in the center
of
this ring are numerous different forms of weaponry to use on one
another...the outside of the ring is nothing but tables to throw the
opponent
through...the object of this match is to knock the opponent out, there
making
you the IWO Extreme champion...

::Announcer pauses as crowd cheers.::

Announcer: And also...as an added bonus...attatched to the ring
ropes...will
be C4 explosives. And now....introducing first....he stands at six feet
nine
inches, and two hundred and nintey eight pounds. He is one of the
craziest
men to ever set foot inside of an IWO ring....he is
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!

::"Frayed Ends of Sanity" by Metallica begins to play as Mad Max makes
his
way down to the ring. He looks crazy as ever.::

Announcer: And his opponent...he is the current IWO Extreme
Champion....he
stands at six feet and seven inches and weighs in at two hundred and
sixty
nine pounds...he is the man of a thousand brands of alcohol....he is
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL COOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOLIIIIIIIIC!

::"Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine plays as Al Coholic
with a
bottle that reads "Willys Beastie Tequilla" on it in his hand, and the
Extreme title wrapped around his waist. He steps inside of the ring and
hands
the belt to the referee.::

** DING DING DING**

GP: And we're off ladies and gentlemen...here we go. The pile of
weapons in
the middle of the ring is the first thing they hit now. Al Coholic
though
decides its time to break out the tequilla! He mashes the bottle over
Mad
Maxs head! My god!

JT: WHOA! Max is laughing! He just looked at Coholic and started
laughing!
There is blood and alcohol flowing down his forehead but he's laughing!
He
has a golf club!

SBW: A Nine Iron to be exact.

JT: Shut up nerd.

GP: Guys-

SBW: You asshole. I'm sick of you!

JT: Oh are you huh?

SBW: Yeah I am! You can't say my name right! You call me a nerd! I'm
tired of
it! Slapping isn't gonna do it this time either! You and me are gonna
go
round!

JT: Don't make me kick your ass son!

SBW: Bring it on you hair in Zombies ass!

JT: Oh your gonna die!

SBW: You and me! Next Hostile Takeover in a Stinkys Rules Match!

JT: What the hell is that?

SBW: its.....well I don't know yet but it'll be neato!

JT: YOU GOT IT!

GP: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Now..on with the match! Uh....GOD DAMN IT! Now
I'm
lost! There are two tables broken on the outside of the ring, Mad Max
through
one and Al Coholic through the other.

JT: Damn....we missed it.

SBW: Yeah cuz of you.

GP: Shut the F*CK up! Now Mad Max is the first to his feet...he is
shifting
through the rubble and lifting Al Coholic up into the air into a
Fishermans
DDT OH AND IT COMES DOWN ON ONE OF THE TABLES! That had to hurt!

JT: YYYYYYYES! KICK ASS!

SBW: UH...HUHUHUHUH.....that wath cool.

GP: What the hell are you Beavis and Butthead?

JT: Shut up dilweed.

GP: Christ your both messed up. Anyway...we've got Mad Max on the
offense
still. He's picked up a chunk of table and is whailing Coholic with is.

Pounding on him unmercifully! Ouch! The board broke. Whats Max doing
now?

JT: He lifts Coholic up and slides him in the ring. Whats this? Out of
the
pile of weapons....a Super Soaker!

GP: Al Coholic is standing up now. He looks at Max who squirts him in
the
eyes with whatever liquid is in there!

JT: Its Pure Lemon Juice! I squeezed it myself! It'll blind him
temporarily.

GP: How did you know what it was?

JT: I squeezed the juice and gave them the Super Soaker. I thought it'd
be
funny. Teehee.

GP: Sick man...sick. But none the less Max has Coholic on the mat again
and
this time Coholic is rithing in pain as he rubs at his eyes screaming!
Max
picks up a PVC pipe out of the bundle of weapons in the ring. He is
bashing
Coholic in the side with it! Coholic is in some real pain here folks!

JT: Wait a minute whats he doing now?

SBW: Mad Max is going to the outside and is bringing a table into the
ring
folks! He unfolds it and....he's going to the top rope with it? WHOA!
He
LEAPS OFF SMASHING THE TABLE ON AL COHOLIC! MY GOD!

GP: THAT WAS INSANE! In all my years I've never seen that done before!
Another IWO first ladies and gents! Another first! Now Max stands once
again.
Coholic is trying to stand but is unable to grasp the ropes to pull up
since
he can't see. Max is taunting him now! He picks up a chair and BAM! He
bashed
Coholic right across the back of thehead with it! This may be it! if he

doesn't get up before the ten count this match is over since this is a
ko
wins match!

Referee: 1.....2....3....4....5.....6...

JT: Al Coholic is moving and is now getting to his feet. He is all
wobbley
and is feeling around. He still can't see. I knew the Lemon Juice would
be a
neat twist.

SBW: You want Coholic to lose don't you!

JT: No, I just think its funny to see someone in that much pain.

SBW: Sick f*ck. I'm gonna beat your ass next week.

JT: Bring it on.

GP: Max is circling Al Coholic taunting him now! Max has a bottle of
Tequilla
in his hand now!

::In ring.::

Mad Max: Willys BEASTIE Tequilla is BEASTIE!! If you wanna be BEASTIE
like
Willy then you gotta drink Willys BEASTIE Tequilla or you'll be
unBEASTIE!
Here have a sip!

::Broadcasters.::

GP: HE WHACKED HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT! COHOLIC IS DOWN AGAIN! HE
FELL LIMP!

::In ring.::

Mad Max: I guess you just weren't beastie enough to be
like
Willy.

::Broadcasters.::

GP: The referee initiates the count again!

Referee: 1..2...3...4..5..6...7....8...

SBW: And Al Coholic is to his knees now. The ref has stopped counting.
Coholic still can't see! This isn't fair damn it! it isn't fair!

JT: Life isn't fair b*tch.

SBW: WAIT! COHOLIC WAS PLAYING POSSUM THIS TIME! HE JUST GRABBED THE
SOAKER
AND SQUIRTED MAX IN THE EYES!

GP: Mad Max is screaming now! Coholic to his feet, he bounces off the
second
rope into a falling hard DDT! He goes for the pile of weapons. He has a

Wiffle Ball Bat.

JT: Aw sh*t man those things sting like hell when you get hit with
them!

SBW: Yeah they do.

JT: Yeah Stumpy would know. When he was little all the other kids made
fun of
him and hit him with the bats.

SBW: DID NOT! AND MY F*CKING NAME IS STINKY! ITS DUTCH!

GP: Al Coholic has something in his hand...what is that?

JT: HAHAHA! Its the penis off of some statue!

GP: Coholic takes a good look at what it is and throws it down. He's
pulling
a handy wipe out of his tights and is wiping his hands off now. Whats
he got
now? Maracas!

JT: Sweet.

GP: He is hitting Mad Max with Maracas! Al is doing a little dance as
he its
Mad Max over the head. Max is swinging to no evail. This is great!
HAHA!

JT: OH! Low blow my Max. Coholic falls, but kicks Max in the face
rolling him
out of the ring and onto a table. Al now is standing up, still a bit
shakey
from the low blow. He launched himself over the ropes! My god! My god!

GP: He went through the table and maybe through Mad Max! Neither man is

moving now. What a match thus far.

SBW: Al is to his feet. He is going back inside. Whats he got? EEW! He
has a
dead cat in his hand! Its a dead cat left over from the Cat Bowl Match
that
The Beverly Hills Bruisers and The Prep Kids had a few weeks back!
Thats
gotta be rank smelling!

GP: He just swung it by its tail and threw it down on Mad Maxs face!
Max
jumps up and throws it off him! He is puking now! He is puking! Coholic
is
going outside of the ring.

::In ring.::

Al Coholic: Here man...puke into this...

::Al puts a bag out and Max begins puking in it.::

Al Coholic: Sucker!

::Broadcasters.::

GP: OH SICK! Al just put that bag of puke on Maxs face! He is getting
really
raunchy tonight!

JT: All in the name of rating my friends.

GP: Coholic is kicking the gaging Mad Max now!

SBW: Max is up now though! WHOA! He just puked on Al Coholic! Coholic
just
puked on Max! WHAT the HELL????

GP: This has become Pukefest 2000! They are punching eachother now!
Puke is
flying everywhere! Fans are all puking now! And in return Mad Max and
Al
Coholic are puking again! This is disgusting!

JT: HAHAHAHA!

GP: Max lifts Al up and Body Slams him into a pile of he and Als vomit
now!
It just splatted all over the place.

SBW: Oh sick I can see the Mushu Chicken Max and I ate earlier. BLAH!

::Stinky pukes on JT.::

JT: B@STARD! BLAH!

::JT pukes on Greg Parker.::

GP: ICK! BLAH!

::Greg pukes period.::

JT: That was kinda refreshing.

GP: Well the show must go on now folks! Both men are in the
ring...soaked in
puke! They both have things in there hands? What is that Max has? is
that...YES IT IS!

JT: SWEET!

SBW: SICK F*CK!

GP: Mad Max just hit Al Coholic with what appears to be the remains of
Jimmy
Hoffa ladies and gentlemen! This is the most disgusting thing I have
ever
witnessed! Only in the IWO fans...only in the IWO!

SBW: Al swings back though with the deak chicken in his hand! He poked
Max in
the eye with the chicken!

JT: Someones coming down to the ring! Its Evan Levine! He is running
down to
the ring! OH! Poor b@stard just slipped in puke! He flies through the
air and
hits the ground! I think he's out cold! Now here come John McRae, Jax
Stone
and Tony Davis to the ring, they're dragging Levine away from the ring
and
throwing him into the crowd! The three are now running off! What the
hell
happened?

GP: Al Coholic was busy watching the circus on the outside! Max goes
for a
shot to the head with the penis statue! IT BROKE IN MID SWING! AL
TURNS,
KICKS MAX IN THE GROIN AND WHAILS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE BOOK WAR
AND
PEACE!

JT: DAMN! And that thing is thick to man!

GP: Max is down! Max is down! The referee is counting!

Referee: 1...2...3...4....5...6...7....8....9....10!!!!!!!

**DING DING DING**

Announcer: Here is your winner...AND STILL IWO EXTREME
CHAMPION.....AAAAAAAAAAAL COOOOOOHOOOOOOOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!!!

::Suddenly "Whatever" by Godsmack begins to play as we see Chairman
Dane on
the IWO rampway.::

Chairman Dane: Congratulations on a hard faught and disgusting victory
Al
Coholic...I just thought I'd bring you some good news....ya know what
it is?
Just to show President Jamie....my idol and demigod....that I can make
matches with the best of them...next week...your going to defend that
little
baby...like it or not...in a Three Way Dance! Your opponents will be
none
other than the guy that slipped in the puke and is now being mugged by
that
fat guy in the audience...EVAN LEVINE! And your other opponent....DA
BRONX
BRO! That is all....thank you for your time. Word up to my home boy
President
Jamie. Your the man Jamster!

::Chairman Dane walks off as Coholic stands in the ring with a smile
and the
belt in the air.::

GP: What a match! Al Coholic comes off with a nice victory over Mad
Max...both men put up one hell of a fight there.

JT: Loved every minute of it!

SBW: Two thumbs up!

GP: We'll be right back....get some people down there to clean that
sh*t up!

JT:AHAHAHAHAHA! MAINEVENT UP NEXT!

**Commercial break**

Mainevent
World Title
Pea Soup Chainsaw First Gallon Of Blood Deathmatch
Dane Wilt vs. Tony Davis
Dane Wilt gave Tony Davis a huge list of things he must do. It is
expected
that the list will be completed this week. This match is gonna be
simply
sick. It will take place in a giant bowl of Pea Soup both men will
have all
of the following...a small raft....a rusty chainsaw...and an empty
gallon
container of milk. First man to fill the gallon container up with
blood will
be your world champion. Oh and the one stipulation that no one heard
yet is
if the match doesn't end in 30 minutes 7 tons of crushed crackers are
gonna
come tumbling down into the pea soup probably killing both men. This
is
gonna be neato.

GP:Well it's mainevent time folks...and I must say I'd be lieing if I'd
say I
wasn't looking forward to this one.

JT:AHAHAHAHA! It's like a wet dream come true!

SBW:Wet dream come true!?! Tsk tsk Chairman Dane isn't gonna like that!


JT:Hey Stinky...

SBW:Hey what...

JT:LICK MY NUTS!

SBW:HEY! THAT'S A BIG NO NO!

GP:SHUTUP YOU TWO! Well let's go to the ring announcer who is on a
little
speedboat with the ref up in the bowl of pea soup.

Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen....the following match is a pea
soup
chainsaw first gallon of blood deathmatch. The winner will be the
first to
fill up a gallon jug with his opponents blood! Introduceing first the
challenger...he is a true veteran here in the IWO...here comes TONY
DAVIS!

::"Don Cartagena" by Fat Joe plays as Tony Davis comes to the ring. He
has a
chainsaw with him. He climbs up into the Pea Soup and hops on his
little
raft. He stands on it and holds up the chainsaw and the gallon jug up
to the
cheers of the crowd.::

Ring Announcer:And his opponent....from Hollywood Ca. Weighing in at
235 here
is the IWO World Champion...Dane Wilt!

::"Alright (Oh yeah)" by LocalH begins to play as Dane Wilt walks to
the ring
with a brand new chainsaw. He climbs into his raft and him and Davis
begin
to have a stare down.::

GP:Well the two are now useing their hands to paddle near each other.
The
both have their chainsaws on and are getting ready to tear eachother to

peices. They are getting closer and closer...

JT:AHAHAHAHA! KILL HIM DANE!

SBW:I don't really see how this is a wrestling match....

JT:AHAHAHA! This is pure entertainment! I LOVE it!

GP:They are now pretty close...and they are swinging their chainsaws at

eachother...DUELING CHAINSAWS! THEY JUST KEEP BLOCKING EACHOTHERS
SHOTS....DANE JUST JUMPED OFF HIS RAFT AND SPEARED DAVIS! DAVIS DROPS
HIS
CHAINSAW BUT IT'S STILL ON THE RAFT! DANE WILT NOW HAS HIS CHAINSAW
HIGH
ABOVE HIS HEAD....HE STABS DOWN BUT DAVIS ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND DANE
JUST
CUT THE RAFT!

JT:AHAHAHA! Davis just rolled into the Pea Soup! Now Dane jumps in
after him!
Dane now grabs Davis and is biteing his head! Ewww...he let go and Tony
Davis
is busted open AAHAHAHAHA! Dane grabs his gallon jug and just spit some
of
Davis's blood into it...it's not much but it's a start.

SBW:THIS IS SIMPLY SICKENING!

JT:OH GRAM IT STUMPEY!

SBW:THAT'S STINKY!

GP:Dane just rolled Davis up onto his raft and Dane is now clawing away
at
his head wound. Dane has Davis close to the edge of the pea
soup....ewwww...and he's cracking Davis's head onto the side of the pea

soup....SICK! Dane threw Davis's head so hard into it that it broke off
a
chunk of the side of the cup. Dane is now scrapeing Davis's head on
his
gallon jug and is getting alittle bit more of Davis's blood.

::The lights suddenly go out and "Take the Power Back" by Rage Against
the
Machine begins to play. Out walks Mysteryious Birdman 0¿0 and Floopy
the
Mysterious Bird. They walk over and have a seat beside JT.::

GP:We are now being joined by 0¿0 and Floopy. 0¿0 might I ask why you
came
out here?

0¿0:Yo I'm here cuz like I said...tonight Tony Davis's ass is going to
da
birds!

GP:Davis just slipped off the raft and into the peasoup now... Dane
dives out
now and just belly flooped on top of Davis...

0¿0:Yo tonight Davis be going to da birds!

GP:Yep...now Dane is punching Davis as the both of them are kinda
floatin on
the pea soup. They are over at the side of the cup again and Dane
Wilts
getting out...he now backs up and just ran off the ledge and nails
Davis with
a spinning heel kick! Wilt now see's one of the chainsaws floating near
by
and he just swung it at Davis...OH MY GOD! DANE JUST CUT DAVIS'S HEAD
WITH
THAT CHAINSAW! BLOOD! TONS OF IT! Davis is now wearing the crimson
mask.
Dane swims over and grabs the gallon container and Dane is now letting
some
of it pour out into the container. He get's a fair amount of it in and
now
he sits it up on the side of the cup. Dane now grabs Davis by the hair
and
swins over to the speed boat....and Dane just rolled in it. He now
pulls
Davis in by his hair! OUCH!

JT:Dane is now slaming Davis's head into the side of the boat....theirs

certainly not much room on that speed boat...AHAHA! And Dane notices
and just
threw the ref and ring announcer off into the pea soup! Dane is now
slaming
Davis's face into the side of the speed boat...and Davis's face is now
just
solid blood! Dane picks Davis up and scoops him up....and drops him
neck
first onto the side of the boat! Dane now grabs Davis...and nails him
with...with...OH MY GOD! A real wrestling move! a DDT!

0¿0:Yo tonight Tony Davis's ass be going to da birds!

GP:YES YES WE ALL KNOW! SHUTUP!

SBW:Well Dane has Davis up again...and just nailed him with a pile
driver....Dane now sits in the drivers seat of the speed boat....oh no!

GP:Oh god no!

0¿0:Tony Davis's ass is going to da birds!

JT:AHAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD YES!

GP:OH MY GOD! DANE WILT JUST TURNED THE BOAT AROUND IN A COMPLETE
CIRCLE AND
GUNNED THE ENGINE AND WENT FLYING TOWARDS THE SIDE OF THE PEA
SOUP...AND JUST
WENT FLYING OFF INTO THE CROWD! THEY LAND AND DANE WILT JUST SMUSHED A
WHOLE
LOT OF FANS! WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR THIS ONE!

JT:AHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT ALL THOSE CRUSHED FANS!

SBW:I must say I don't like this a bit...these guys are just sick!

GP:Dane is up and is pulling Davis up....VanDANEinator! He just sent
Davis
down again. WAIT! MAD MAX! MAD MAX JUST CAME THROUGH THE CROWD AND
NAILED
DANE WITH MANIA! DANE WILT IS OUT! MAX NO RUNS OFF AGAIN! Both men are
down
and out.

0¿0:Yo yo yo...tonight...Tony Davis's ass be going to da birds!

SBW:The ref is now down in the crowd...he is covered in pea soup and is

looking at both men....he brought the gallon jugs...Davis's totally
empty and
Dane's with very little in.

GP:Both men are now starting to get up...Davis is on one knee...and
Dane is
sitting up...they are useing the boat wreckage to get to their
feet...both
are finally up...Dane swings at Davis but missess...now Davis grabs
Dane and
nails him with Vengenace (Inverted DVD). Dane Wilt is about dead now.
Davis
grabs a chunk of the broken glass from the windsheild of the speed
boat...and
is now cutting Dane Wilt open with it. Dane's bleeding like a
hog.....and
Davis is draining this into the gallon container.

SBW:Geez...you guys are all extremely sick you know that?

JT:AHAHA! Welcome to the IWO bitch!

SBW:DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID GREG?!?! I'M INFORMING Chairman Dane of
this!

GP:Oh shut the fuck up Stinky!

SBW:WWWWHHHHHAT!

GP:I'm tired of your shit fuck you!

SBW:Parker? How dare you! Your gonna get in trouble!

GP:I don't give a damn anymore I can't take you anymore!

JT:Greg...I never saw this side of ya before...

GP:Yeah I was just tired of his shit...

0¿0:Davis is really takeing Wilt to the birds....

GP:WOW! A new comment!

JT:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This shits funny!

GP:ANYWAYS....Davis is done draining Dane for blood and lays his
container
back down and just whipped him over the security railing. That whole
area is
rather open most ran away when they saw the speed boat drop. Davis has
Wilt
and just tossed him into the side of the cup. Davis grabs Wilt and
nails him
with a neck breaker. Davis now walks over and grabs a steel chair.

JT:Davis whinds back and damn near takes Wilt's head off! Davis opens
the
chair up and picks Dane back up...power bomb on the chair! Now Davis
grabs
Dane and lays Wilt on the Ebonics Announce table....and now Davis is
going
over and climbing to the top of the cup of Pea Soup...AHAHAHAHA!

GP:Oh god this won't be good at all for Dane...Davis is on the brim of
the
cup....wait Psycho Jay just popped out of the Pea Soup and grabs
Davis...kick
to the stomach...SUPER BOMB OFF THE TOP OF THE PEA SOUP...ONTO DANE
LAYING ON
THE EBONICS ANNOUNCE TABLE! Psycho Jay is getting up and picks Davis up
by
his nose....and OH GOD! HE'S RUNNING A RAZOR BLADE ALL OVER DAVIS'S
FACE!
WAIT HERE COMES PHELEN KELL...PHELEN KELL IS UNLOADING WITH LEFT'S AND
RIGHTS
ON JAY...AND KELL CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE SECURITY RAILING!

JT:WHHAT! WHY IS KELL BEATIN ON JAY!?!?!

SBW:He simply did it so Jay wouldn't destroy Davis and give Wilt and
easy win.

GP:Jay and Kell are now standing toe to toe in the crowd unloading on
eachother with lefts and rights. Wilt and Davis both look dead. Davis
just
got cut up worse then he was. And Wilt's gotta have a few busted ribs
Jay
nailed Davis with a Super Bomb off the top of the pea soup and both men
came
down on top of Wilt. They are both struggleing to get to their
feet....they
have both taken tremendous beatings and are simply dripping with blood.


SBW:I miss the good ol' Memphis matches...perhaps Chairman Dane will
bring
battles like that back...

JT:Yeah he could do that...but then rateings will go in the FUCKING
SHITTER!

0¿0:Look at Davis...his ass is going to da birds...and yo he don't even
know
dat!

GP:.....Right...anyways Dane is now on his feet and is still very
stunned...Davis is up on his knees and Dane turns around...and just
nailed
Davis in the head with a nasty axe kick! Now Dane is calling for the
gallon
container...and is scrapeing Davis's face on it and it letting the
blood drip
down in it.

JT:Dane now has Davis up and walks over the ladder to get to the top of
the
pea soup and just tossed Davis on to it. Dane is now climbing to the
top of
the soup....and jumps out on the last remaining raft. The soup is
begining
to drain out a bit because the speed boat knocked a large chunk of the
side
off when it went flying into the crowd. No Dane is takeing a little
bit of a
break...and the ref is trying to get Tony Davis up the
ladder....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HERE COMES EVAN LEVINE!

GP:EVAN LEVINE COMES OUT OF THE CROWD AND JUST SMACKED DAVIS UPSIDE THE
HEAD
WITH A LARGE METAL ROD. DAVIS SMACKS INTO THE LADDER AND IS DOWN AND
OUT
AGAIN. LEVINE THROWS THE ROD DOWN AND IS NOW DRAGING DAVIS UP THE
LADDER AND
IS ON TOP AND THROWS HIM INTO THE PEA SOUP

SBW:That Pea Soup would taste hideous.....it is now more red with blood
when
it is green from the yummy peas.

0¿0:Man oh man I knew Tony Davis's ass was going to da birds!

JT:SHUT THE FUCK UP!

GP:Dane now paddles over to Tony Davis and is yelling for the ref...the
ref
hands Dane his gallon container and Dane is putting more of Davis's
blood in
it...I think he might have around 1 quart....maybe even 2 it's sorta
hard to
tell.

JT:Evan Levine jumps out on the raft with Dane and the two are stomping
the
hell out of Davis. Wait a sec...

GP:Theirs a extremely large paper air plane heading to the ring.....JAX

STONE! JAX STONE DROPS OUT OF IT AND NAILS DANE WITH AN ELIMINATION
(FAME
ASSER) NOW STONE GRABS EVAN AND THROWS HIM INTO THE PEA SOUP. STONE
DIVES IN
NOW TOO AND THE TWO ARE BRAWLING IN THE SOUP.

JT:Dane and Davis are yet again both down and out again. Stone just
pushed
Evan down the ladder and Stone follows and the two are now both
brawling down
on the floor.

GP:Davis and Dane are both starting to get up....Davis grabs Dane and
monkey
flips him into the pea soup. Dane is under the pea soup now.....

JT:What's he doing?

SBW:Did he drown?

0¿0:Did he go to da birds?

GP:Davis is now looking around hopeing to see him pop up...but Dane
still
hasn't emerged.

JT:OH GOD NO! PLEASE LORD DON'T HAVE HIM DROWN! I NEED HIM FOR MY IWO
WORLD
CHAMPION!

GP:Well JT if he dies some other heel will come along who you will also

worship...OH MY GOD! DANE WILT JUST POPPED UP AND HE HAS DUEL
CHAINSAWS! HE'S
PRESSING THEM BOTH UP ON HIS FOOT AND DAVIS JUMPS BACK AND FALLS IN THE
PEA
SOUP. I THINK DAVIS LOST HIS LEG! I THINK DANE WILT HAS SEVERED OFF
TONY
DAVIS'S LEG!

JT:AHAHAHA! GET HIM DANE! NOW'S YOUR TIME!

SBW:Isn't this illegal? That would be assault with a lethal weapon
would it
not be?

JT:LICK MY NUTS!

GP:Now Dane swims over to Davis and is clawing away at his eyes! Dane
dunks
Davis under the pea soup and is trying to drown him!

JT:That would be an easy way to get a win...

SBW:Now it's attempted murder...shouldn't cops be swarming this place?

GP:Shutup Stinky....

JT:John McRae and Mad Max are now both heading to the ring...their
gonna be
gunning for Dane....

GP:You know I must say I think if any stable could oppose the Billion
Dollar
Promotion right now I beleive it would be Kilroy. They both climb up
onto
the brim of the pea soup and they dive in after Dane. Dane Wilt let's
go of
Davis and is swiming over to opposite side.

JT:Max and McRae are flying thorough the pea soup. Max still looks
alittle
messed up from his brutal match with Coholic. They are getting closer
to
Dane....and Dane is now jumping up and down and screaming....

Dane:NOW GUYS! NOW!

::3 ropes drop from the ceiling and the Beverly Hill Bruisers aswell as

Mini-Dane all drop down.::

GP:BRIAN DIVES OFF ONTO MAX...MICHAEL DIVES OFF ONTO MCRAE.....AND NOW
MINI-DANE DROPS BESIDE DANE...

Dane:Can I have a hug?

::Mini-Dane hugs Dane. Dane then looks up and touches his pinky to his
lip
and begins to try and do an evil laugh.::

GP:Brian and Max are flopping around in the Pea Soup....McRae and
Michael
have actually rolled up onto the brim of the pea soup and have began to
trade
punches. Tony Davis is now rolling up onto the other side. Dane Wilt
doesn't notice it and Dane is just standing their doing his stupid lame

Doctor Evil laugh. Tony Davis is up....and just ran over and
clotheslined
Dane Wilt flat on his ass! Davis looks down at mini Dane and mini Dane
looks
up at Tony Davis....

Tony:GET IN MY BELLY!

::Tony Davis begins to chase Mini-Dane.::

GP:This is just totally nuts! Here comes Jax Stone down to the
ring....but
Evan Levine comes back out and they are now fighting off in the aisle.
And
Davis is still chaseing Mini-Dane for no real obvious reason. Michael
Dudley
and McRae both fell off the top of the pea soup....I think McRae
clotheslined
him over. Brian and Mad Max are still fighing. Mini Dane is now
running
around on the floor and Davis is chaseing him.

JT:AHAHAHAHA! Brian and Max are still tradeing punches up top. Now
Dane Wilt
is up...HE JUMPS OFF THE TOP OF THE BOWL AND DOES THE SHOOTING STAR
PRESS
HE'S GOT TONY DAVIS BOX OFFICE SMASH...NO! DAVIS IS ABLE TO REVERSE IT
INTO A
NORTHEREN LIGHT SUPLEX AND SENDS DANE FLYING.

GP:Davis is up...MINI DANE CHARGES AT DAVIS...AND DAVIS KICKS HIM RIGHT
IN
THE FACE! DAVIS PICKS HIM UP....AND WALKS OVER AND JAX STONE TOSSES HIM
A
BLENDER?!?!?!?!?!? DAVIS OPENS IT UP...AND STICKS MINI-DANE HEAD FIRST
INTO
IT....AND OH MY GOOOOOOD!

JT:MINI-DANE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SBW:YIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCK!

0¿0:HE WENT TO DA BIRDS DERE!

GP:DAVIS HAS THE BLENDER OVER FLOWING WITH THE BLOOD OF MINI DANE WILT!
AND
JUST THREW IT'S CORPSE INTO THE CROWD. Davis climbs up in the pea soup
and
dumps the blood in his gallon jub!!!!!

SBW:THAT WAS A GOOD MOVE!

GP:The ref is checking it.....and OH MY GOD! It's a gallon! The ref is
calling for the bell!

Ring Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen in 29:50 your winner....and NEW IWO
WORLD
CHAMPION TONY DAVIS!

GP:NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP! Wait Dane just ran up and attacked Tony Davis
from
behind. Dane nails him with a Face Lift from behind! Dane now grabs
him and
throws him down onto the floor. Mad Max just clotheslined Brian Dudley
off
of it and goes down with him. Wait a sec.....what's that siron mean?
Uh-oh.

::All these lights begin to flash and sirens begin to go off. Suddenly
Dane
looks up and 7 tons of crumbled crackers come falling upon him and
giant cup
of pea soup shattering it into pieces. The crumbs are piled extremely
high
but somehow everyone around it got away. The ref hands Tony Davis the
title
and him and the rest of Kilroy lift him and place Davis on their
shoulders as
they walk to the back.::

GP:OH MY GOD! DANE WILT MUST BE DEAD! 7 TONS OF CRAKCERS! DANE WILT
HAS TO
BE DEAD!

JT:NOOOOOO! DANE!

SBW:Good. I hated him.

GP:Now the Billion Dollar Promotion and Kilroy are fighting again.
They sat
Davis down and we have another scrap going on in the aisle.

0¿0:Excuse me guys I have some work to do...

::Floopy and 0¿0 get up and grab Tony Davis. They take him to the back
and
you see a large barrel. Floopy the Mysterious Bird picks it up and
dumps it
on Davis. Tar comes pouring out as 0¿0 grabs a bag of feathers and
dumps it
on Davis. Davis is covered with tar, feathers, blood, and pea soup.
But he
still has the IWO World title around his waist.::

0¿0:I told you your ass was going to da birds!

::Camera cuts back to ringside.::

GP:Well security is now breaking up Kilroy and The Billion Dollar
Promotion.
Well we are WAY out of time! I am Greg Parker...for JT...and Stinky B
Wizzelcheeks...see you next week!

::Scene fades.::