Posted by Dallas Rockfield
The Walk Along Rant for Warcry 2001
- Live from the Highland Stadium in Scotland, home of kilts and Roddy Piper's gimmick.
- Opening match: North Dakotan Janitorweight Title, Pen v. Spatula
Um. Pen wins. W/E. -**
- Some idiot sends love letters to the wife of Samuel Potright, the guy that's about to go into what is essentially the most brutal match. Ever. I question the sender of this letter's sanity.
- For the #30 spot at Mayhem: Sabastian Crow v. Jeff King
Tom Ford comes out and tells both guys that there's no number thirty spot. No match. Best decision ever, especially when Crow's involved.
- IWO Television Title Match: AWS Man (also known as Bill) v. Bob Job
Bob Job is a jobber. AWS Man isn't. I wonder who wins? Job gets a quick suplex for two, so Bob Job hits a BRAINBUSTER for two. In WHAT universe does Bob Job even KNOW a brainbuster? This must be Bizarro Job or something. Rollup by AWS Man gets two. In WHAT universe does Bob Job kick out of ANYTHING!? Aurora Borealis suplex gets two. What the fuck? And, indeed, the third time is the charm, as a super spinebuster finishes Bizarro Job at 2:32. This was there. ½*
- Arrows and Archer bond, but they don't, so they beat each other up, eventually ending with Archer ArCing Arrows.
- The Deadly Sins tear apart some Suicide King figures to show how much they dislike them.
- Joey Malone v. Schitzo Tod
There's a midget guest referee, thanks to the efforts of Special Education. Tod comes out. Joey comes out. Quayle turns out to be Daze who is pretending to be three feet shorter than he is(that's pretty funny, really), and destroys Joey. Again, no match, but it would set up what was to happen later in the show.
- IWO World Tag Team Titles: The Suicide Kings v. The Deadly Sins
The Special Education shift begins! The Kings are your Gods, and the Sins were not quite as good then as they are now. William Blake in Motion variant as Jeff jumps off of Ryan's back and ranas Breaker. Breaker recovers and moonsaults one of the Kings for two. Walker hits Jeff with a steel chair. Running plancha by Ryan on Breaker, but Ryan eats steel as well from Walker. Breaker works over Jeff with the steel chair, before the Sins slam Jeff through two steel chairs. The Sins retrieve a table and grab the chairs. They try for the Conchairto on Ryan, but Ryan ducks and the Kings take out the Sins. Ryan King DDTs Walker into a chair, and gets the ladders. The Sins hit stereo powerslams on the Kings to come back, and Walker gets the tables. Breaker with a brutal top rope DDT on Jeff through a table. The Sins get another table and put him through it with the Wrath(somehow). It's broken up by Ryan King with a splash off of a ladder. Ryan pins Breaker, but Walker breaks it. Leg drop by Walker gets two. The Sins bring out the FLAMING tables, so of course Ryan bulldogs Walker through it for the pin at 9:32 to retain. Just a bunch of spots. * The Sins and the Kings would need a few more matches to really get a groove going.
- Archer runs over the Mysterious One with a truck. W/E.
- IWO North American Title: Kent Anthason v. Cyanide
Anthason is the guy who won the World title in three months. And this is about the highest title Cyanide would lay claim to. Cyanide sledgehammers Anthason with a sledgehammer to start, but it must have been a foam one, because Anthason just simply takes it. In the ring, Anthason gets a belly-to-belly and a corkscrew moonsault, and locks in, of all things, an INDIAN DEATHLOCK. What are we, in the 50s, now? Cyanide makes the ropes. Clothesline and backbreaker by Anthason gets two. Moonsault misses, and Cyanide folds up Anthason like an accordian with a powerbomb that gets two. Pink Floyd suplex by Cyanide, then he kills Anthason with a flying knee drop from the top. Anthason comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam, but it's brief as Cyanide finishes Anthason with a fisherman's buster and German suplex at 3:42 to win the title. Cyanide would lose the title just a few weeks later back to Anthason. Match was too short to be anything, but who can blame them, when they're being forced to keep it short because of Trick or Treat? *
- High Flyer v. the Trenchcoat Man
This match was set up when the Trenchcoat Man decided to be a prick. Sounds good to me. Flyer attacks with a corkscrew moonsault to start, and follows up with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Both men exchange what Scott Keith might call Canadian Violence, and TCM knees him in the corner. Sitdown powerbomb by Trenchie(tm Malone) for two, but he complains to the ref and eats an inverted DDT from Flyer. Flyer misses a legdrop, which cues up TCM working on the leg, and then... obviously taking a cue from the last match, locks in an Indian Deathlock. Well, I guess the difference is that the last match had no real legwork, and this one does. Flyer breaks the hold, though, and Trenchie is PISSED. Flying headscissors is countered into a powerbomb-like thing by Trenchie. More legwork, and then Trenchie goes for the Collect Call From Beyond, but Flyer grabs his hood, and it's... Tony Davis. Ho-lee shit. Announcers are shocked, as is the crowd. Davis is PISSED, and he bulldogs Flyer, and quickly follows up with a vertical suplex, and Flyer bails. Davis goes for a baseball slide, but Flyer turns it into a powerbomb on the floor. Ouch. Dragon sleeper on the floor, but Flyer's too weak, and goes from a powerslam position into a DaC! Ho-lee SHIT. Running powerslam by Davis on the floor, as I begin to wonder when the orderlies have to come in with the spatulas. Chairshot on Flyer from Davis busts open Flyer, then Davis pounds on Flyer's leg with the chair. Davis goes to Pillmanize Flyer, but makes the mistake of shoving Meygon around, and Meygon lowblows him. GJ, Davis. Flyer makes Davis's snow cold, which busts Davis open. Davis is tossed back in, and Flyer hits him with a kind of an inverted fameasser. Slingshot senton gets two. Neat spot as Davis dives for Flyer's legs, but Flyer leaps straight up and in the same leap, legdrops Davis. Bridge gets a two for Flyer, and then a quick series of dodge and move sees Flyer trip Davis for two. Again, and Flyer turns it into a low blow, and the Hypothermia, but Flyer can't bridge. Davis recovers first and a stretch powerbomb gets two. Davis is PISSED, and the Collect Call From Beyond follows suit. Davis doesn't want it, and while this would usually mean that Davis would be jobbing, instead, Davis hits a second Collect Call From Beyond. A third one follows, and Tammy Cradle is out to plead with Tony. Tony ignores her and goes for a FOURTH Collect Call From Beyond, but obviously, Flyer switched to 10-10-220, as he uses a burst of energy to back drop Davis. Reverse Final Cut, and Flyer locks in the crossface. Flyer segues it into a DRAGON SLEEPER, and it looks like we might have the pass-out finish, but Tammy kisses the ref(lucky bastard) to stop the knockout. Flyer turns his attention to Tammy, and that's all Davis needs to hit a final Collect Call From Beyond for the pin at 15:45. What a BRUTAL matchup, with Davis seemingly trying to overkill a desperate Flyer. It was an excellent way to bring back both Davis and Flyer in this capacity, as both men definitely had a tremendous comeback match between them. Afterwards, Davis makes a Collect Call on the ref, and Cheno helps Flyer escape any further harm. ****¾
- LiGiL v. Sabastian Crow
Oh god. I was hoping we'd be avoiding seeing Crow, but apparently, the Gods hate anyone named Dallas. Levine is the ref here, and he's biased for Crow. Well, gee, Evan, I think Crow would do fine on his own if he can no-sell as many table spots as he did against Daze. Crow overpowers LiGiL to start, and a clothesline gets a brisk two. Running clothesline is countered with a flying clothesline for a longer two. Evil. Crow comes back with his innovative and fascinating offense, a low blow. Gorilla press is countered by LiGiL into a rollup for a long two. Good job, LiGiL, you just saved your career there. Crow comes back with a clothesline and goes for the Sharpshooter, but LiGiL comes back with a DDT that gets another long two. Crow goes for a tornado DDT(!), but LiGiL counters with a top rope Aurora Borealis suplex! Whoa! And, of course, Evan has something in his eye. It's probably just some of Jamie's leftover semen. LiGiL is all "WHAT UP BITCH" and Evan's all "MY EYE" and LiGiL's all "I'LL MAKE YOU BLIND" and Crow's all "EXCUSE ME WHILE I GRAB YOU BY YOUR WAIST HERE", and, indeed, a German suplex by Crow gets a quick two. That should've at least have been the finish, but god forbid that Crow ends my pain quickly. Crow with a powerslam for two. Full nelson suplex, but LiGiL lands on his feet and a superkick puts Crow on his back. Superfly splash only gets two. W/E. Crow comes back with a bulldog. Crow gets an exciting backbreaker and goes up, but misses. I am in shock. Really. I am. LiGiL comes back with an elbow smash and a KATIHAJIME SUPLEX. Wow. Evan slow counts for a two. Palindrome is countered, but LiGiL counters the counter with a German suplex for one, before Evan stops counting. Oh come ON. Bad-looking inverted suplex by Crow, and Crow looks to powerbomb LiGiL, but LiGiL counters with a rana rollup for two, before Evan shoves LiGiL and fast counts a three at 6:42 to give Crow the win. W/E. This match looked promising with LiGiL carrying Crow, but between Evan and Crow's bullshit, you knew who was going over about a minute in. *
- Exx returns. I laugh.
- World Title Match, Trick or Treat III: Samuel Potright v. The Hardcore Isosceles Trapezoid
This is basically the whole reason why one would even buy this PPV, as Flyer/Davis wasn't announced. Obviously, there's no way I can just objectively review this match as a whole, so the match will be reviewed by its falls. This is the best of seven falls. If Potright wins, HIT has to give up teaching. If HIT wins, Potright has to divorce Beth. Oh yeah, and there's some World title thing, too.
- Fall One: Graveyard From Hell
The graveyard has a perimeter of C4 explosives, and you have to put your opponent in a glass casket and shatter it while he's inside. Okay. Bulldog by Potright on HIT to start it out, and Potright breaks a tombstone over his head. Ouch. German suplex, but HIT lands on his feet and hits the Y Axis Transformation. GORE GORE GORE, and HIT dumps Potright into a casket. He tosses it into an open grave which explodes, and HIT is all "BURN BABY BURN". HIT is distracted, allowing Potright to climb out of the wreckage and Tomikaze him. Potright gets the War Within A Breath, and Potright DVDs HIT into the open grave. Potright finds his Pandora, but HIT lowblows him and crucifix powerbombs him. Legsweep on a tombstone by HIT, but Potright ducks a shot from Payback and drop toe holds him into the shovel. Bow and arrow, and Potright grabs a flower vase, but HIT is all "NO BITCH" and White Russian Legsweeps him using the shovel. HIT makes a new equation: Potright's chest + Vase + Shovel = Pain and takes control for a moment, which ends when Beth Potright sprays him in the face, kicks him in the nuts, slaps him, and shoves him into an open grave. Okay, Beth just got in more offense than SAM did. The Potrights work over HIT with a tombstone, and Sam drags HIT to the glass casket. HIT comes back with an Arizona Heatwave and tries to toss Sam in, but Sam breaks and Potright gets the Collect Call From Beyond off the casket and into an open grave. HOLY GOD. Potright crawls out and drags out HIT, but Joey Malone(who had his fair share of encounters with both men) hits Potright in the knee with a shovel, then nearly decapitates HIT with another shot. Then Beth kicks his ass. I don't think that'll do much for Joey's self esteem right there. Skateboard Splash on HIT through the glass casket misses and Potright is much more glassey than usual. Rydeen Bomb on the glass by HIT, followed up by a Death Penalty and a gutwrench powerbomb. Ouch. HIT gets another glass casket, but Beth gets a BULLDOZER. Beth sprays HIT with the pepper spray again. Sam gets an Aurora Borealis suplex into the glass casket and uses the bulldozer to shatter it at 14:21 to win the first fall. Awesome stuff. ****½
- Potright: 1, HIT: 0
- Fall Two: Final Destination
First man to get his opponent into an airplane bathroom wins. Who comes up with this stuff? IWO officals toss both guys into an airport, and whenever *I* see two bloody, beaten individuals fighting each other in an airport, I tend to run. HIT breaks an object of Potright's head, but Potright comes back with a sleeping neckbreaker. Laptop to HIT's head, but HIT comes back by whipping Potright into some chairs. Chair beatery results, and airport security tosses out Potright and HIT. Good job, guys. Full nelson bomb by Potright, but Potright misses a spear and eats taxi. HIT tosses him through a window, and security is all "WASSUUUP" and HIT's all "WASSUUUP", and then HIT rolls the digits on one guard, and devises a system of equations for another. Jawbreaker on Potright, and HIT drags Potright into the airport. HIT drops a door on Potright and elbow drops it, then he tosses the door into airport security. Potright comes back with a low blow, but security grabs him, but throw Potty out once, shame on you; throw Potty out twice, shame on him, because Potright kicks their ass with their own nightstick. Potright goes to town on HIT with the nightstick, but he comes back with some nightstick blows of his own. They brawl into a cap store, and both men end up in the little hallway that connects the gate and the airplane. They brawl in the plane, and HIT gets a powerbomb into a facebuster. Potright gets a katihajime, but HIT flips over him and gets a sleeper. Both men end up back into the hallway. Potright goes for a little War, but HIT gets a cradle neckbreaker to counter. Another gutwrench powerbomb by HIT to Potright, but Potright comes back with a bulldog over some chairs. Just to make sure that the name of the match fits, the airplane they were just on explodes, shattering the windows. Extraneous Solution, and HIT bashes Potright's head into a vending machine while he's doing it. Awesome. Potright flips over HIT and slaps on a crippler crossface, before they head for another gate. Full nelson bulldog by HIT, and HIT puts on an STF. Submission holds? In an AIRPORT? W/E. They exchange dragon sleepers, Potright gets a Liontamer, HIT turns it into a Texas Cloverleaf, and Potright turns THAT into a figure four leglock. Wow. If this had a submission finish, I'd be happy. But no, as HIT reverses the pressure, and Potright turns THAT into a modified bow-and-arrow. Holy shit. Both men end up in another airport hallway, and Potright gets a DDT, and HIT goes for a running Ace Crusher, but runs into Beth Potright, who attacks him. Electric Chair/Legdrop combination by the Potright couple, but HIT reverses a whip into the bathroom and Potright takes a powder at 16:53 to give HIT the fall. Weird match, but the submission exchange was a thing of beauty(even if it didn't fit with the match). Finish kinda sucked, Potright should've gotten it after HIT took the double team from the Potrights. ****
- Potright: 1, HIT: 1
- Third Fall: Glascow Street Fight
As this fall really occurs between the rest of the falls, I won't give a rating just yet. Basically, both guys fight until they reach the arena, and whomever gets the most pins when they reach the arena wins the fall. HIT grabs Beth, and Beth slaps at him until Potright emerges from the airplane and leaps down upon him. Cool spot. IWO officals try to keep them apart until they leave the airport, but Potright and HIT just hate each other THAT MUCH. Potright whips HIT into a staircase, but HIT gets a forklift. He tries to ram Potright, but Potright avoids it and HIT slams into a wall and gets pinned under the wreckage. Potright gets a pin off of that. Potright and Beth leave for a spell, but HIT is gone as well. HIT jumps Potright and tosses himself and Potright through a gym's window... and oh gee, that's where the fourth fall is. (10:31 total for the fall)
- Fourth Fall: Hell On Earth
Again, I ask... who comes up with this stuff? This is basically like Arizona Firewater, only without the inner cage and with tables scattered about outside the cell, and a pair of dumpsters inside the ring. Both men have apparently been stitched up in between the time that IWO Officals have gotten to them and now, so they look a lot better. Pair of armdrags by Potright, but HIT simply answers with a superkick that sends Potright to the outside. Baseball slide misses, and Potright pounds on HIT. Chairshot, and Potright brings the ladder, but falls off the dumpster in the process. Botched spot as HIT tries to shoot a chair at Potright with a baseball slide and a ladder, but the chair doesn't go. That would've been really neat. Springboard rana is countered into a powerbomb by HIT. Neckbreaker and Lionsault by HIT, and HIT gets the tables. Y Axis Transformation off the ladder and through a table kills Potright, and HIT gets some barbed wire tools. HIT uses a barbed wire bat to work on Potright, but Potright lowblows him when he gets the barbed wire chair, and stupidly picks him up while he's still holding the chair, allowing HIT to hit him in the head with it. HIT unmercifully beats him with the chair, and goes for the swinging Tomikaze, but Potright tosses him. Shrimp platter to the skull by HIT, but the Kamikaze Kick, straight from Joey Rappoport's moveset, stops HIT cold. Overhead powerbomb on an open chair by Potright, and HIT eats chair. People's elbow is countered into the X To The Fifth Power(five backdrop drivers), but Potright goes Pandora and no-sells it. Pandora Syndrome, and Potright just unmercifully beats the shit out of HIT. Rolling Thunder onto a barbed wire board and chair, and the crazy bastard LAUGHS. HAIL PANDORA! HIT comes back with a superkick into the steel chair, but counters an HIT catapult with a steel chair. Well, there's something you don't see every day. HIT gets a ladder on top of him and Potright climbs another one and FROG SPLASHES HIM. HOLY GOD. Both men are down. ?¿? interjects himself into the match, but Potright spears him before he can MDD HIT. Extraneous Solution by HIT on ?¿?, but Potright chairshots both men. Potright leaves the cell and climbs up the cell, but HIT rams a ladder into him from INSIDE the cell, and Potright falls through a table as a result. HIT sets a table on fire and chokeslams Potright through it. HIT goes for the swinging Tomikaze again, but Potright turns it into a VERTEBREAKER. HOLY GOD. Potright climbs, but the crazy fucker MOONSAULTS off of the cell and onto HIT. OH MY HOLY GOD. Potright climbs back up the cell, but Joey Malone reinterjects himself into the match and he tosses a ladder down onto Potright and Potright falls right through a table with the ladder driving him through it. I see all of those HOLY GODS and raise you with a SWEET MOTHER OF THE VIRGIN MARY AND JESUS'S BLESSED SAINTS. Then Malone just jumps right on top of HIT from the top of the cell. That boy just ain't right. HIT recovers first and climbs, but Potright SOMEHOW gets back to his feet and knocks HIT off the cell with a ladder and through another table. Potright climbs, but then he realizes that the ladder is down there. *Idiot*. HIT tosses the ladder up at Potright, and Potright catches it, so HIT climbs up after him. Crippler crossface by Potright on TOP OF THE CELL. HIT stops him from grabbing the bag, and rubs his face into the mesh. Ouch. HIT climbs, but Potright knocks him off and goes Pandora for a second time. HIT gets the shit kicked out of him, and Potright climbs to claim the bag at 32:32. AWESOME. Now this is Trick or Treat at its finest. *****
- Potright: 2, HIT: 1
- Third Fall: Glascow Street Fight (part 2)
Potright beats on HIT with a trash can as they exit the gym, and HIT eats a trash can assist dropkick. They go to the street and Potright grabs a sign, but HIT DDTs him on the sign. HIT goes for the Y Axis Transformation, but misses. Potright looks for a little War, but HIT gets an Aurora Borealis suplex to counter for two. HIT pounds on Potright, climbs a dumpster, and he hits the Times Height for three. Potright comes back with the trash can, though, and tosses him into the streets. Good thing there's no traffic! Potright gets jumped by the IRA, but it's just Daze, Senate, and Legion, and Joey Malone chases them off. HIT slams Potright into a mailbox and Potright does the same, before both men end up in a playground with a suspiciously large conglomeration looming over it. It must be fall five! (15:21 total for the fall)
- Fifth Fall: Chutes, Ladders, and Tables II
Think of it as a giant McDonalds play set with razorwire, thumbtacks, and other goodies in it. Boston crab by Potty is countered quickly by HIT, and HIT hits a German suplex that nearly sends Potright over the edge. In a falling off capacity, not a Lunatic Pandora capacity. Potright tosses HIT down a chute, and slides down himself and dropkicks HIT at the end. Neat spot. Potright with a little War, but HIT reverses to another Aurora Borealis. HIT needs to find a new counter, or Potright's gonna catch on. HIT gets the table, but Potright ranas him through it. Potright climbs up, but HIT tosses him into the ball pit. Man, Potright's getting no love in this match. HIT goes down a chute and puts a glass table at the end, which Potright crashes through as he follows him. Awesome spot. HIT picks him up and goes for the swinging Tomikaze, but Potright doesn't like that idea and he tosses him into a barbed wire net, which HIT STICKS to. Okay, OUCH, with a little extra OUCH on the side. HIT escapes, only to take a wheel kick from Potright. HIT comes back with an inverted suplex through a table. SAS Postulate, as JT relates a story about underground infant racing. W/E. Potright Breaks the Walls Down on HIT, but in one of the most seriously hardcore moments of the match, HIT actually climbs the barbed wire net to break the hold. Potright dropkicks him and slides down to the next section of the structure, with HIT following. Potright stacks tables, but HIT pulls Potright face first into another net, and HIT hotshots him into monkey bars. Potright goes through the tables, but manages to push HIT into an explosive ball pit. Chuckles the Clown shows up, but dies, and Potright gets a reverse DDT on HIT, only to get drop toe holded into the barbed wire. HIT slides to the next level, but HIT gets distracted by a Playstation 2 and Potright whacks him with a snowboard. Parker and JT take a powder, and Potright gets his face mashed into a Playstation 2. HIT makes Potright meet Mr. Barbed Wire again, and tombstones him. HIT goes into the barbed wire and gets a low blow as well. Both men end up on the last level, and Potright hits HIT with a rubbermaid. HIT no-sells, so Potright blasts him in the head with a cymbal and hits an Aurora Borealis Bomb on him. Sell THAT. Potright crucifies him in the net and walks out of the structure at 22:32 to extend his lead to 3-1. A little too much playing in the barbed wire for my tastes there. ***¾
- Potright: 3, HIT: 1
- Third Fall: Glascow Street Fight (part 3)
Both men leave the playground and HIT rolls up Potright for two. This leads to a reversal sequence that ends abruptly with a kneeling powerbomb by HIT for two. Potright suplexes him and the Skateboard Splash gets three to extend Potty's lead in the Glascow Street Fight 2-1. Potright gets a two-by-four again and looks to do more bodilly harm than the human body can handle, but HIT ducks and goes for X Cubed, but Potright flips out and tosses HIT into the street. Man, HIT is getting no love in this part of the match. HIT drop toe holds Potright into a mailbox to come back, and HIT with a German suplex on the concrete gets two. Ouch. Elbow drop gets two, and Potright comes back. Potright goes for a little War, and again, HIT counters with a sidewalk slam. At least it's not the Northern Lights again. HIT with a short arm clothesline, and goes for the swinging Tomikaze, but at this point, HIT trying to hit that move is bordering on impossible, as Potright rolls him up to extend his Glascow lead to 3-1. Both men end up right outside a pyramid. You don't see too many of THOSE in Glascow, so I guess this must be the sixth fall! (24:12 for the fall)
- Sixth Fall: The Pyramid of Peril
Ah, VP John, how we miss your twisted creations. And, indeed, to settle right into the gimmick, Potright gets attacked by a mummy, but the War Within A Breath puts him down. HIT makes up some equation to figure out how to get through the Pyramid, and HIT falls down a shaft. Oops. Potright ends up trapped in a room that's flooding, but Potright presses a button and the water comes flooding right out. I feel like I'm watching Indiana Jones here. HIT seems to be caught, and Joey Malone dumps jello on him. Keri Lindum goes to stab him, but HIT dragon screws her arm. Joey goes for the Mad Cow Disease, but the water from Potright's room slams into everyone. The mummy comes back while Joey and HIT brawl, and the mummy gets a double arm DDT! Wow! They have wrestling classes in ancient Egy- oh, it's Donnie Daze. Daze gets a fameasser on HIT, but Joey hits Daze with the Attention Defecit Disorder DDT. That rat bastard HIT brings out his misogynic side and gives Keri a pair of backdrop drivers before Joey Cataclysms him and carries her out. HIT gets up awfully quickly and confronts a returning ?¿?. ?¿? is all BIOTCH, and HIT is all BIOTCH, so naturally, they have to fight. MDD is countered into a catapult, full nelson bomb, and dropkick. Man, ?¿? has gotten NO love from ANYONE in this match. And then, just to make my day, *PRESIDENT LEVINE* gets involved, and attacks Potright. ?¿? gets the elusive MDD on HIT, but HIT NO-SELLS it and hits the elusive swinging Tomikaze! Well, he had to hit it on SOMEONE. Meanwhile, Potright makes me happy by countering the Gayme Tyme with a Vertebreaker, and then hits him with the Collect Call From Beyond. Good riddance. Potright and HIT find themselves elsewhere, and they trigger a rolling boulder trap. Well, now I definitely feel like I'm watching Indiana Jones. Potright sees HIT and spears him, and both boulders miss both men. ?¿? comes in, but immediately falls into a sarcophagus. The love is definitely not on ?¿?'s side. Extraneous Solution on Potright, but Joey Malone suplexes both guys and runs off. See, now why can't any of these guys running in just do what Joey does? Hit them and then run off before they know what just hit them? Potright comes back with an elbow drop off a casket, and leaves HIT to rot. Malone and Keri are lost in the damn place, and Potright crawls in the room. HIT ambushes him with a spear, while Malone complains about the noise ruining his abilities to concentrate. Daze makes that even worse by hitting Joey in the head with a statue. But Potright takes advantage of the distraction with an Olympic Slam, and Potright quietly wonders where HIT's gold medals are. Potright stumbles away, only to trip an Olsen Snake trap. Potright avoids it, only to meet a really pissed ?¿?, who MDDs him. HIT wanders about and trips a trap and has to escape quickly. He lands on Potright, and the two resume their bonding. Rana into the casket by Potright, but HIT escapes the casket and goes for the Tomikaze... but you know that never works, and indeed, Potright counters with a reverse DDT. He tries to escape, but trips a trap and ends up buried in sand. Ouch. Donnie Daze urinates on the sand for good measure. HIT climbs up, but a hand grabs his foot, and oh, shit, it's Potright, rising from the ashes again. HIT goes for a superkick, but Potright headbutts him in the groin. Arizona Heatwave by Potright, and Potright reaches a rope. He swings and crashes through a glass window! They have those in pyramids? So HIT sees this, and swings across, and just when he's over Potright, he ELBOW DROPS HIM without landing originally! Awesome spot. HIT finds another entryway blocked by glass, but before he can do anything about it, Potright backdrops him right through it. Well, OUCH. So, HIT recovers and he FINALLY hits the swinging Tomikaze on Potright. Well, damn, I would HOPE so, the boy's been trying all this time! HIT sees sun, and Potright fights him. HIT climbs, but Potright knocks him off. He goes to win the match(and I mean the WHOLE match), but he stupidly turns around and nails the Skateboard Splash on HIT. And, indeed, it costs him as when he climbs up, Donnie Daze knocks him off, and HIT climbs up at 28:54 to win the sixth fall. Awesome spots, a good pace, plenty of running around, and neat traps. Nothing beats a good Pyramid of Peril. *****
- Potright: 3, HIT: 2
- Third Fall: Glascow Street Fight (part 4)
Daze beats Potright with a chair, but Malone takes him out. Attempted moonsault by Potright is countered to a rolling fireman's carry and Lionsault for the pin to make it 3-2. Michinoku Driver by HIT is blocked, but Trappy manages to toss him into the back of a truck driven by the Obscene Obtuse Triangle. Powerbomb by HIT is blocked with a backdrop, and meanwhile, the REFEREE drives up in a motorcycle and jumps on. LUCHA REF~! The ref's jump stops the attempted War, and what is it good for? Absolutely nothing, as HIT hits the SAS Postulate to tie the Glascow Street Fight back up. Unfortunately, Potright and HIT go flying off the truck as it crashes into another one. The ref holds on and sees HIT on top of Potright before making a count and giving HIT a 4-3 advantage. HIT and Potright get up, and Potright gets backdropped into a wall in a brutal spot that gets two. HIT drags Potright to the arena, but Potright gets an inside cradle for two, reversed by HIT to make it 5-3 going in, giving HIT the fall at 32:42 of Glascow Street Fighting. This match simply served as a segue for the other matches, but it did a good job for what it was. ****
- Potright: 3, HIT: 3. I guess we know what THAT means...
- Seventh Fall: Terminus
Simple enough. Briefcase on the roof, you win by finding it and grabbing it. Stairway to Heaven constantly plays throughout this one. Potright and HIT quickly barge in on a half-naked Meygon, and HIT gets a released German suplex on Potright through Meygon's mirror. Trapezoid dosses him out and executes a Pedigree. HIT goes to the top of the TronVision, but Potright's there. A pair of DDTs on Trapezoid, but Trapezoid counters a third with an Aurora Borealis suplex. Bisector looks to finish Potright, but Potright slips out and does a full nelson slam. Potright climbs, and Trapezoid follows him, as they lower a scaffold down to the ring. Both men are on top of the arena, and they exchange punches. HIT grabs a chair(how did that get there?), but Beth Potright reappears and steals it from him, before blasting him. Potright gets the swinging Tomikaze on HIT. Now you're just making fun of the poor guy, Potty. Potty with a chair-assisted dropkick, but HIT no-sells it and blocks a Kamikaze kick with a chair to the ribs. BRUTAL chairshot by HIT, and HIT looks for a springboard something-or-other using the chair, but the chair gives way. Samuel looks to Pillmanize him, but Beth actually shows compassion and begs him to just finish the match, so Potright just simply takes the chair and beats HIT's ankle with it instead. Potright brings the pain, but HIT brings the ballshot, and we know who'd win that encounter. HIT goes to Pillmanize Potright using the ladder, but MOTHERFUCKING TITAN shows up. Chokeslam, and we're All Aboard The Titan X-Press, and Potright climbs, but here comes CAPPY, making Comeback #5462, and he hits the Death Penalty on Potright! HIT Breaks the Walls Down on Potright, but quickly releases and goes for the briefcase, but Potright nearly KILLS him with a GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE LADDER. OH MY GOD. Potright climbs, but the IDIOT POTRIGHT chooses to inflict more pain instead of winning the match, and he hits the Skateboard Splash on HIT, knocking both men out. Stupid, STUPID Potright! Potright recovers, but Joey Malone makes his last run-in and Jerkerolizes him. Parker makes a long-winded speech about how this is the greatest main event in IWO history. Um. Yeah. HIT climbs and he's all "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD", but Potright rises from the ashes yet again, and he's all "FUCK YOU, YOU'LL NEVER BE KING" and the Collect Call From Beyond from the ladder puts HIT out. OH MY HOLIEST GOD. Potright applies Malicious Intent on HIT, and Beth checks up on him, but Potright is all "NO, I'M FINE, GO AWAY". Now, if Potright had said that earlier, he wouldn't be here. Both men take a moment to rest, before HIT wakes up from the dead and applies the Extraneous Solution on Potright, but Potright lowblows him and gets the War Within A Breath. Potright lingers too long near HIT, and that never leads to anything good, as HIT applies an STF. Potright gets up and a stunner puts HIT down. Potright climbs, but HIT lowblows him and climbs with him. Superplex, but both men see the briefcase and go for it, and the ladder falls and they almost fall of the arena! Whoa! Both men climb back up, but Billy Larson appears. Double arm DDT to HIT, but Potright ranas Larson, only to get a chairshot from Satan. The NA champ Satan, not the real deal. Ken War comes in and is all "im hardkorr!!1", but Inferno gets the Backdraft on him. This is like America's Funniest IWO Has-Beens. HIT superkicks Inferno, but Titan's in and he chokeslams Satan and All Aboard The Titan X-Press for Inferno, only for the Vietnam Veteran to come in and apply the Saigon Strangle, but Titan lowblows him. Cappy makes Comeback #5463 and basically, this whole clusterfuck ends with everyone leaving and Potright and HIT still remaining. Potright with a Dragon suplex that puts both men down again, and both men climb. They both grab the briefcase, the arena opens, and both men fall onto the scaffold, clutching the briefcase. So, it's decided that we're going into a NORMAL MATCH for overtime. Ho-lee sheet. This whole thing was basically about the run-ins, as both guys were taking it easy throughout, and who could blame them? ****
- Overtime: Straight Wrestling
President Evan joins us at ringside... this will be important later. Mat wrestling(!) to start, but HIT gets ANOTHER Aurora Borealis suplex for two. Hey, HIT, learn a new counter to the front headlock, mmmkay? HIT takes Potright to the top and German suplexes him off. That gets two. I'm surprised that they didn't just finish this with Terminus, but oh well. Both men fight on the outside, and Potright takes control with a springboard shooting star press! Whoa! That gets two. HIT gets a schoolboy for two, but Potright comes back with a somersault legdrop and Lionsault that get two. Potright gets a leg lariat, but HIT reverses the pin for two, but Potright reverses the reversal for two! Cool. Wheelbarrow suplex by HIT gets two. Lionsault by HIT, but Potright's in the ropes. Full nelson slam by HIT gets two. Dropkick gets two. Geez, running out of moves, Trappy? Gutwrench suplex, but Potright reverses his pin for two. So HIT gets all pissed and applies the figure four! PSYCHOLOGY FROM THE PREVIOUS FALL~! This looks to finish, but Beth Potright comes down, and HIT stalks her. The lights go out, the ref's out, and heeereeee's PAUL HANSON. Chokeslam to HIT, but Hanson is all pissed about Potright turning on him last year and he chokeslams Potright! But HIT takes him out rather quickly. HIT stands tall... up until Beth Potright hits him in his little shapes. The Potrights hit a top rope 3D! Whoa! But the ref is groggy and it only gets two! HIT gets up, and it's X Cubed. He goes for a fourth, but he overshoots it and Potright's on his feet. Potright gets the Final Destination, but Evan stops the count. HIT gets a chair, hits Potright twice, and gets the Bisector! But it only gets two! Ho-lee SHEET. HIT is PISSED, and he gets a powerslam before he applies the Wall Breaker! And then, Potright reverses the pressure and puts it on HIT! This is fucking awesome. HIT breaks with the briefcase from Terminus, and heeerrrreeee's JAMIE KOSOY! Evan is stunned and distracted, and Potright gets the War Within A Breath on HIT to FINALLY put ToT3 to an end at 14:32. Awesome conclusion to an awesome match. *****
- But of course, Evan turns this around, and Potright and HIT BOTH lose. Potright is all WHAT? and Evan gives the IWO World Title to HIT. Of course, Evan wants a title shot, and he wants it NOW, so now we get...
- IWO World Title: Hardcore Isosceles Trapezoid v. Evan Levine
Evan surprises HIT with the Conceptual Perfection, but that gets two. So Evan is all WHAT and hits HIT with the belt for another two count. Evan is STUNNED. So am I. Evan doesn't know what to do, and the Extraneous Solution is locked in! The crowd doesn't know what to make of it, but they know they don't want Evan winning the title again. Chrome Thunder runs in and hits a Pedigree on HIT for another two count. They go for a spiked Conceptual Perfection, but Hemmorhage hits, and SAMUEL MOTHERFUCKING POTRIGHT comes in to wreak divine vengeance by knocking Thunder off the top, Potright gets a well-earned and deserved War Within A Breath on Evan, and HIT pins him at 3:42 to retain. Emotional rollercoaster, but a shit match. *
- HIT gives the title back to Potright, and everyone lives happily ever after... except that a certain, very jaded, individual, who was, not to mention, the RIGHTFUL champion, shows up and challenges Potright to a match. That man is, of course, Donnie Daze. Potright, being an idiot, agrees.
- IWO World Title: Sam Potright v. Donnie Daze
Daze punches Potright with brass knuckles and wins the title at 0:43. Well, THAT sucked for Potright. DUD
- So, just to cap off the night, Joey Malone comes out again and is all BITCH, YOU DON'T DO THAT TO POTRIGHT. Of course, Joey's been attacking Potright all night, but Joey's also a moron, so I can forgive him. So Daze is all "YOU WANT ME? COME GET ME." and Joey obliges him.
- IWO World Title: Donnie Daze v. Joey Malone
This night has seen four World title matches so far, I swear to god. Malone clotheslines Daze out of the bloodstained ring. Daze goes for a slingshot sunset flip, but that misses, and a dropkick by Malone doesn't. Daze comes back with a flying clothesline, and tries a superplex, but Joey shoves him off and hits a missile dropkick for two. Daze gets a crossbody for two, and a rollup for two. Swinging neckbreaker by Daze for two, followed up by a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Russian legsweep gets two, and Daze preps up the DaC, but Joey counters it nicely with a powerbomb that gets two. Malone comes back with a DDT for two, and he beats him in the corner, but Daze catches him with a beautiful tornado DDT that gets two. Daze gets a boston crab, but Malone counters with a cross kneebreaker, but Daze rakes the eyes and snap suplexes him for two. Daze with a DDT, and a graceful moonsault gets a pair of twos. Small package by Malone gets two, and Daze isn't happy. He goes up top for a double axehandle, but Malone catches him in MIDAIR with an Exploder suplex! Cool! That gets two, so Malone goes for the Cataclysm. In comes both Senate and Legion, allowing Daze to get a low blow. Bulldog gets two for Daze. Daze puts Malone up top, but Malone counters with a sunset flip bomb, but Daze counters THAT by holding on, so Joey turns it into the Ocean Cyclone for two. Awesome sequence there. Superkick misses Daze and hits the ref, and Daze gets a chair. He misses a chairshot and Joey hits a WICKED springboard dropkick into the chair. Malone deals with Daze's managers and goes for the Creedence Headbutt, but misses. Daze gets the Further Paralysis for two. Daze tries to pound Joey in the corner, but Joey turns it into the Cataclysm. Unfortuantely, before Joey can take advantage, Legion and Senate enter, hit a Conchairto on Joey, and that's enough for Daze to retain at 12:21. Good match, but it seems weak after watching ToT3. Luckilly, these two would go on to blow the roof off of the Acro Arena just a month later, but that's another rant for another time. ***
There are only two matches worth seeing, and that's, OF COURSE, Trick or Treat. But also, Flyer/Davis, which wasn't even scheduled. But both matches make this tape WELL worth your time, but skip the first bunch of matches as they ALL suck. ...and where the FUCK was Seaman in all of this? God.
But if you truly want to see a MotY candidate, ToT3 is *it*.